When Reinvention Changes Your Relationships | The Cost of Coming Home to Yourself

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Hey you guys, what is up?
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Welcome back to the show.
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I am so excited and grateful to have you guys here.
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Welcome if you're new.
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Today is probably gonna be a short episode.
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And I really I really just want you to stop whatever it is you're doing if you can, and just I I really just need you to let this sink in for a minute, okay?
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Because this is really important.
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So I had a conversation with someone the other day.
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We were talking about reinvention.
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You know, she had listened to one of my podcast episodes, and it really resonated for her.
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And the the the the challenge that she was having, and and you know, we had a good honest conversation about this.
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She's like, I'm just so afraid because I feel like, you know, I've been this person who I am right now, like it or not, my entire life.
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And I feel like there's this part of me that I've never given permission myself to really be, because I know my family would never accept me.
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I know my friends would never accept me.
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I know the people that I love most in my life would never accept me being this person like I've that I've always felt that I was, that I always felt, and my heart's breaking.
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Like I want to cry when I think about this.
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I know I know they could never accept who I've always felt like I was on the inside, by never let myself be on the outside.
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And I want to cry because I can relate to this.
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I can relate to this so much.
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And, you know, this is one of the hard parts about reinvention, right?
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It is one of the hard parts because you have taught your world and your relationship this is who you are your entire life.
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This is how they know you, this is how they've come to depend on you, this is how they rely on you, this is what they expect from you.
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You know, this is what kind of avoids the heartbreak and the arguments and the judgments and the all the things that it is, all the painful things that we try to avoid and all the harmony we try to create by becoming an inauthentic version of ourselves.
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When we know deep down inside, we're meant to be somebody and something completely different.
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And that is so painful because we are literally hurting the one relationship that matters most, and that is the relationship that we have with ourselves.
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We are abandoning ourselves, we are rejecting ourselves, we are telling ourselves, no, you are not good enough, you are not allowed to come out to play.
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You have to stay hidden because if the world sees you, nobody could ever love you.
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And that is literally what we're doing to ourselves.
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That is what we're doing to all the versions of ourselves, our inner children, everything.
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And it is the most painful thing.
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And that is where sometimes, you know, and I say this from experience, I say this from experience.
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I really want you to hear me.
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This is where we attract superficial, inauthentic relationships where we feel disconnected from, where we don't feel that soul level connection with, where we feel like we can't be ourselves, like we're constantly performing, we're constantly playing a part, we're constantly walking on eggshells trying to figure out what do I say here, what do I say next, what did they really mean?
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What did that look mean?
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And what did she mean by that, or what did they say?
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What were it is exhausting, it is dysregulating, and it even though you may be surrounded by people, you may be surrounded by people all around you friends, co-workers, acquaintances, partners, lovers, dates, whatever, family, extended family, friendship circles.
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Even though you may be surrounded by people, you will feel completely and utterly alone in the world.
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And that is because the real you is alone.
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She has no company, nobody can even see her, nobody even knows she's there.
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And none of your connections are really deep soul-level connections.
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They are surface level, they are polite, they are accommodating, they are convenient, they are all the things that the world tells us we should be in order to be like, to be loved, and to and to be surrounded by the love and support of people we care about.
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And that is the lie that many of us have been fed.
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Now, when it comes to stepping into your reinvention, it may or may not be uncomfortable.
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For some of you, it might not be, right?
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But for some of you it might be, especially if you've been a people pleaser your entire life, especially if you've been accommodating people your entire life, especially if you've been being this inauthentic version of yourself to be liked, to be loved, and to be approved of.
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That is gonna feel a little uncomfortable.
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But, and here's the but it is a momentary period period of discomfort.
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Momentary compared to a lifetime of being someone that you're not.
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Momentary period of discomfort versus a lifetime of living in the discomfort of being someone or something that you're not.
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And yeah, you may get some pushback, and yeah, some people might be uncomfortable with it, but you know what?
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The people who love you will absolutely still be there.
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They may take a minute to adjust, sure, because you've also been in authentically feeding them this false version of yourself.
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So it's gonna take them a minute to get used to this new version, this version of you that wants different things, that has different dreams, different aspirations, that has all these new boundaries that you know didn't even exist before.
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You know, I always say, like in my family, like boundaries.
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What are boundaries?
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What is that?
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Right?
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You know, I come from very traditional Greek values family, like boundaries weren't a thing.
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There's no such thing as boundaries in a Greek family.
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You know, so yeah, it's gonna take them a minute to get used to it.
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It will absolutely take them a minute to get used to it.
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But they will get used to it and it will be okay.
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And your relationships will be so much better for it.
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Because now you have the safety to be yourself.
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Now you feel confident being yourself.
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You can actually like relax, you can take a breath, you can stop walking on the eggshells all the time and just kind of rest into who you are and trust that whatever you say, it's fine.
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Even if somebody might, you know, get a little pissed off every now and then, who gives a shit?
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Like it's gonna pass.
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It'll pass.
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It always does.
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We make this out to be so frightening, but there's nothing really, there's it passes.
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And your relationships become closer and more intimate and more supportive.
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I've garnished support now that I didn't know I had available to me, all because I've been really honest about where I'm at, what I'm moving through, what I'm feeling, and what I need, and who I really want to be.
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And what were what really feels aligned for me.
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And the more I step into the that authenticity, the more supportive my relationships become.
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Have I had to let some relationships fall by the wayside?
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Sure.
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And I do apologize because I am recording again in the middle of rush hour, so you're hearing a lot of noise in the background.
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It is what it is.
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We're going with it.
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Okay.
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Like I just, these are the times that I have to podcast these days.
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So it's either this or no episodes, and I'd rather just pump out some episodes.
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So the other thing is that, yeah, you will have to leave some relationships by the wayside.
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But here's the thing, and here's here's what I've come to the conclusion of all those relationships that leave you because you're stepping into the most authentic expression of yourself, they were never your relationships to begin with.
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They weren't.
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Because if they were really yours and they really fully accepted you, they would still be here.
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Now, some of those relationships might choose to leave, some of those relationships you might have to end.
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I know I had to end a lot of relationships on this path because they just didn't feel aligned for me anymore.
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I felt like I was constantly performing, I constantly had to be someone other than who I really was.
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Judgments were being passed because, you know, you know, just for being me and not being like them.
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Like there was all these like unwritten rules that I had to live by, rules that they imposed on me.
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And that's not to say you have to be rude or in or inconsiderate, but you know, there is there is there is common kindness and common respect.
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And then there's completely expecting somebody to be something other than who they are, you know, and that the two are very different things.
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And I felt like these relationships were really expecting me to be something other than who I really was, to have to change my values, to change my beliefs in order to be accepted in them, to talk differently, to dress differently, to show up differently.
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And I just was not available for that anymore.
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And so I had to let them go.
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And it was painful, but I'm glad that I did it and I would do it again because I'm just so tired of pretending I am so tired of performing.
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And the more and more and more that you do this, the more tiresome it'll get.
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And pretty soon you'll have no choice because you it's it's like holding on to a ledge, and it gets so hard to hold on that you just, oh, you just let go and you let God and you trust that everything you just trust fall and you trust that everything is going to be okay, and other relationships will come in to take their place, and they absolutely do.
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And there is so much freedom and just letting go of holding on to those parts of your life that are asking to be let go of.
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There's so much freedom in that.
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And you free up so much energy and time, and you know, just unjust let go of all of this emotional turmoil and resentment that you've been holding on to, all these things you've been festering on and trying to analyze, just fall by the wayside and you are free.
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Free to be yourself, free to take up space, and free to meet and allow the people who are truly aligned for you to come into your world.
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And they do.
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They do start to come in when you start to make room for them and you start to be the most authentic version of yourself.
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And these people that come in when you're being the most authentic version of yourself are the most supportive, most loving, most soulful connections you will ever meet because now it's not superficial.
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Now you're being your real self and you're attracting the people who actually match that energy.
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So what you thought was going to be a loss is a massive gain.
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And I want you to really sit with that.
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Everything that you're afraid of losing right now isn't for you.
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Everything that you're that you've already lost, that you're grieving, was never for you.
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You would never have lost it.
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And you've made space for all of the most aligned relationships to come into your life, whether that's friendships, partners, lovers, co-workers, bosses, whatever.
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Whatever.
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Bakers, jewelers, whatever.
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You've made space for the most aligned relationships to come in.
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And the only thing that you need to do is call them in, is be your most authentic you because that's the version they've been waiting for.
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They've been looking for you your entire life, but they've never been able to see you because you've been somebody else this entire time.
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Start being more and more yourself and showing up as yourself and communicating as yourself and dressing as yourself and moving as yourself and watch how these relationships literally just start to inbox you out of nowhere, you know, on any of your social medias, or you run into them in the cafe while you're having like your iced coffee and and working on your laptop, and they plop a seat right next to you and start up a conversation with you, you know.
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These things actually happen, and they have happened.
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And that's how easy it gets to be.
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Or you run into that one friend that you haven't seen in 20 years, and you run into them on like randomly on a on a weekend getaway, and now you're like joint at the hip.
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These things will happen.
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But you have to make space for them.
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You have to make space for them.
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Number one, you have to let the pieces that are wanting to fall away to just fall away.
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Let them go.
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Stop clinging to things that don't want to be in your life anymore.
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Let them go.
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They belong to the old version of you.
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Let them go and make room for what belongs with the new version of you.
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And I promise you, I promise me, you will feel less alone than you ever have.
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Not more.
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Like you're feeling alone now, if this is if this resonates.
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You will feel less alone once you start to let go.
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And I know that's counterintuitive, but you just need to trust me on that.
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Okay.
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So Early Bird is open for reinvention circle.
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We start September 14th.
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Early bird is available until September 1st.
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So you can, it's regular price,$297.
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You can get in for$197, 10 women only, one month container.
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You get four weeks of group coaching where we're going to be talking about, you know, empowering and really honing in and strengthening your intuition, healing from past hurts and traumas, you know, gathering the data and what life has been trying to show you about who you it is that you're meant to be and how you're meant to move through the world, and really tapping into that bigger, grander vision of who it is that you want to express yourself as and do be and have in the world that you may not even be conscious of yet.
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So we're going to be doing that over the four-week period.
00:14:59.069 --> 00:15:06.110
There's going to be a companion app to help you take daily aligned action to really start to see shifts in your physical world.
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This is not just a hypothetical, we're going to do some meditations and trust that life turns in our favor.
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Hell no.
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We're going to be taking aligned action every single day in the direction of who it is that we are wanting to become in the world.
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I'm going to be doing it right along with you guys.
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And there's going to be a supportive community as well for you guys to talk and engage and just find support in and meet like-minded women in who are going through the exact same thing.
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So 10 women, 10 women only.
00:15:33.470 --> 00:15:34.909
We start September 1st.
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Early bird pricing ends, sorry, we start September 14th.
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Early bird pricing ends September 1st.
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197 gets you all of what we just talked about.
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If you dive in before September 1st, all the link is in the show, all the links are in the show notes below in the information.
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So until next time, you guys, massive love.