In this thoughtful and practical conversation, John Marshall sits down with Mallory Herrin, CEO and Principal HR Consultant of HerrinHR, award-winning speaker, certified coach, and author of Intentional HR, to explore the part of workplace feedback most organizations overlook: learning how to receive it well. Mallory explains why even carefully delivered feedback can feel like a personal attack when our identity is closely tied to our work, and why curiosity, self-awareness, and radical responsibility are essential for moving beyond defensiveness. Together, John and Mallory examine the difference between fixed and growth mindsets, the role emotional intelligence plays on both sides of a difficult conversation, and how physical regulation can help us manage emotional reactions in the moment. They also unpack generational differences in feedback expectations, the distinction between being nice and being genuinely kind, and the organizational systems needed to make peer-to-peer and upward feedback part of everyday work. Honest, relatable, and filled with immediately useful strategies, this episode offers a new way to view feedback, not as a threat to our identity, but as information that can strengthen performance, relationships, and long-term growth.
Resources:
Intentional HR by Mallory Herrin
Thanks for the Feedback by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen
Leadership and Self-Deception by The Arbinger Institute
Connect with Mallory Herrin: LinkedIn | Website
Takeaways
- Teaching managers how to deliver feedback is not enough; employees and leaders must also learn how to receive it, explore it, and turn it into action.
- Feedback feels personal because people often connect their work performance to their identity, value, and sense of worth.
- Even when feedback seems inaccurate, another person’s perception can reveal something important about the experience we are creating for others.
- Curiosity changes the purpose of a feedback conversation from proving who is right to discovering what can be learned.
- A growth mindset allows people to separate feedback about a behavior or work product from a judgment about who they are as a person.
- Proactively seeking feedback reduces the likelihood of painful surprises and gives people more control over their development.
- Emotional intelligence is required on both sides of the conversation; the giver must consider how the message will be received, while the receiver must manage their own reactions.
- Small physical actions, including taking a breath, changing posture, moving your feet, or taking a sip of water, can help regulate the nervous system before responding.
- Generational patterns can provide useful context, but personal relationships and individual communication preferences are more reliable than stereotypes.
- A strong feedback culture includes manager-to-employee, employee-to-manager, and peer-to-peer conversations that happen consistently rather than only during formal reviews.
Visit The Present Professional webpage on humessence.com and learn more about how we support leadership development and culture enablement at growth-stage organizations.
Thank you for listening.
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