When Blood Flow Stops

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Welcome to the Only Child Diaries Podcast.
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I'm your host, Tracy Wallace.
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Have you ever felt like you didn't receive the how-to brochure on life?
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That you didn't get enough guidance about major life issues?
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So did I.
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You don't have to be an only child to feel this way.
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In my podcast, we'll explore some of the best ways to better navigate adulthood while doing so with humor and light.
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Welcome everyone to the Only Child Diaries Podcast.
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Today I'm gonna update you a little bit more on my husband's condition.
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I really struggled with this because I I don't want to get too emotional about what happened.
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Um, but it's the continuation of last week's episode when I told you about uh the stay in the ER, or as the as the medical staff call it the ED.
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They don't call it the ER, they call it the ED for emergency department because it's not really an emergency room.
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Let's face it, there's not a room, there's a department, emergency department.
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So last week I talked to you about what happened in the ED uh when we went and just our experience with the trauma bays, and that was on its on its own, that was a pretty interesting and hectic experience.
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So if you haven't listened to that, you might want to go back to that.
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But the reason that we went was because, and I don't remember if I included this, I don't think I did, was because my husband was having trouble with his one foot, and he had gotten a bruise, little tiny bruise, that had escalated into a much larger issue, right?
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And uh was a larger bruise and it and it and it also created a blister on his foot, which didn't make any sense initially to me because it wasn't rubbing on anything, it wasn't doing anything, it was but it just bliss it just blistered.
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So we went to the podiatrist, wound care vascular person that we've seen, and she said, Well, this is a vascular issue, and you need to see the vascular guy, and so I had tried uh, and then this was a week before we went to the ED.
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Um, I had tried to get in to see him.
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He's a very busy man.
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Uh, he when we saw him before, he had only seen patients one day a week, which makes it almost impossible to get in to see him.
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So I was able to get an appointment in I think it was three weeks' time, and I was kind of going hysterical trying to figure that out.
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Um, how could we because I knew that was gonna be too long.
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And um, so we went back to see this podiatrist doctor the next week, and she said, you know, you've really got to get in to see him, you've got to do something.
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And I had talked to the doctor's office and I said, Well, can we go in through the emergency room?
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And she said, No, that won't work.
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And I I I'm not sure why she said that, and I'm not sure why I even believed it, because when have I ever taken anything like that at face value?
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I don't, you know, I just because it's it's a hospital that we haven't been at in a long time, and I'm not really as familiar with how they do things as I have been at the other hospitals that we've been to.
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Anyway, that day, that same day we went out to the ER, we got in very quickly, they did a lot of tests, we ended up seeing the vascular doctor, and there was some back and forth because they weren't sure what procedure they wanted to do first.
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Then they finally decided because what had happened was Bill had had a bypass on his leg.
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He's actually had bypasses on both legs before, and the one in this leg had, I guess, technically failed.
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It had a blockage.
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Um, there were there were several clots, which is interesting to me because when he was in the hospital for those 58 days before, they had found a blood clot in the other leg, but it didn't create this kind of problem.
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And they had put him on Eliquist Blood Center, and you know, everything was okay.
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At first, they were gonna do an angiogram of his heart, um, and then finally decided to do an angiogram of his leg.
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And that took place on a Friday, and it was a long angiogram.
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I mean, in terms of the angiogram experience that I have, um, it was like three hours, and the doctor came out and talked to me.
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Now, if you have a limb that does not have blood flow, it doesn't take rocket scientists to know that you're in danger of losing that limb.
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And so when the doctor came out to talk to me, of course I was nervous.
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I spent, you know, the whole day on pins and needles, I spent the whole week, I spent the whole period of time since we'd seen the first doctor on pins and needles because I know the reality is that if any part of your body doesn't have blood flow, then that's it.
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I mean, you are not, it's not like you can just lose blood flow and it comes back much later.
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You need to have blood flow, especially in a in a leg.
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So he came out, he sat with me, he said that they had been able to clean out parts of it or some of the clots, but I guess there was at least one spot where it was very stubborn, and they left the catheter in his groin, and they they amped it up with the heparin, but they also put in an extra drip for uh another clot busting, clot busting, like a superhero, right?
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Um, medication to help break up the clot that they weren't able to clear.
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And he said, We're not giving up.
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And okay, so that was good.
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I mean, I'll take it for that day.
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And he said, you know, we'll go in tomorrow.
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Um, and so for that day, you know, sometimes you just have to go with what you have at the moment, you have to live in the moment, and you have to be okay with the moment, and you can't project yourself too far ahead.
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Okay.
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So the next day I was getting ready to go down to the hospital.
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This was a Saturday, and I was getting ready to go down there, and my husband called me, and he said that, you know, the surgeon had come by and had talked to him, and he said, you know, we may not be able to save the leg.
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And understanding that he was being realistic and he was preparing Bill, not that he would have lost it at that time, but that, you know, um, that that was the reality.
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And the clot was mid-calf.
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So Bill was understandably uh concerned, worried, fearful, whatever.
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Um, he told me that they were gonna take him earlier than planned.
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I was hoping to be down there.
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So, what was interesting about the first angiogram was that I, you know, I had been down there in the morning and I had to come home and give the cat his insulin shot.
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And I was trying to fluctuate with that time so that I could get back in time to see him go in.
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And um, because it's, you know, again, it's at least a 45, 50 minute trip one way, plus you have to drop off your car, plus you have to go get a badge, plus you have to walk up, right?
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So it's say an hour.
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So I missed him by literally minutes for the first angiogram.
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I got up to the room and the nurse, oh, he just went down.
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Just you know, so I missed him.
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So the second day, my husband's down there.
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He's he's in ICU because they had to monitor him constantly.
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And I, you know, wanted to be there for him.
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I wanted to just give him a hug of reassurance, an arm squeeze, hand squeeze, whatever.
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Got up there, you know, when I was downstairs getting my badge.
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I said, Is he still up in ICU?
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They said, Yes.
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I got up there and I of course I missed him.
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They said he just left.
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Okay, so completely frantic, right?
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I said, is that it?
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Is that a good sign?
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Is that a bad sign?
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You know, that's happening like it did yesterday.
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Okay, so take myself down to the waiting room and on a Saturday, they don't have staff, they don't have volunteers in the waiting room to help you, you know, so you have to go and get a number from the front desk and look on the screen and track him, whatever, right?
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So I can see when they've started the procedure.
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And, you know, I'll tell you that I am not I'm not a traditionally religious person, but I do believe in spirituality.
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I am spiritual with the universe.
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And so I I just I just prayed.
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I prayed.
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I I tried to send as much good energy to my husband.
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I I talked to his mom, who's passed away, I talked to my dad, I talked to my mom, I talked to his dad, who I never met, who had passed before I met Bill.
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I just talked to the universe, I cried, I, you know, I you name it, I talked about it.
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And I just I just sat there and I just hoped.
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And I just I just I just was a ball of nerves.
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And I also asked our friends to send their good thoughts and wishes and prayers, and I didn't say why, I just said, you know, I couldn't go, I just couldn't go into it, right?
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Couldn't it was too much.
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My husband's coughing in the background, but it was too much for me.
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I just I had to ask for help, but I didn't know how to do it.
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Because sometimes there's just not enough of me, right?
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Um so I was watching the procedure uh time that the you know he was in the prep room, then he went into procedure.
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So the procedure lasted say maybe 35 minutes.
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And versus the one before, the day before it was three hours.
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And then I waited and nobody came to talk to me, and there was nobody to ask.
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And I was freaking out.
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I was literally freaking out.
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I mean, if anybody was gonna explode, it was gonna be me, right?
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I was just I was so nervous, I was so stressed.
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I didn't think initially about calling up to the um ICU, which is what I should have done because they probably could have told me, but I I didn't know what to do.
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So I sat there, I paced around, I you know, I didn't know.
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Should I is the doctor coming to talk to me?
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Are they is the you know, I was texting a few friends.
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My my one friend said maybe the board is wrong.
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I thought, well, that's okay, there well, that's an idea.
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I don't know.
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So finally I went and I called, I called the hospital and I, you know, got the ICU and they said, Oh, he just got back.
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He just got back up here like 10 minutes ago.
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And I said, Well, how is he?
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And the nurse said, He's okay, you know.
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And I thought, oh, well, okay.
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What does that mean?
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He's okay.
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I mean, he's uh he's alive, but what does that mean, right?
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So I ran up there, and you know, you have to call in, you have to buzz, and uh, you know, I still don't know anything, right?
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I've I've waited all day.
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I've been, you know, I'm on my own.
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I d I don't know and I don't know anything.
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I haven't heard anything.
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So I finally get in to see him and I walk up to the bed and he's flat on his back because he had to be flat for six hours and he's very quiet.
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And I went up to him and I said, Hi, hi honey.
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And I s I said, How are you?
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Because he's very quiet and I can't read him at all.
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And he just he just looked at me and he said, It worked.
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It worked.
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And I completely lost it.
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I just I had been holding it in.
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I had been trying to be strong for so long.
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And I was so relieved.
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I was so very relieved that I just lost it.
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And here I am in my in our little ICU enclosure room.
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And I just started wailing.
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I just I was just screaming, like I wasn't just crying, I was like literally like a guttural yell out of my soul.
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And I thought I I thought I wasn't gonna be able to stand up.
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And I didn't want to fall on him.
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I I held on to the side of the bed and I, you know, they brought me a chair, and then and then what people always do when you're, you know, upset or you're, you know, they they say, Do you want some water?
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I don't know what that it does to help you, but I always say yes.
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And the nurse brought me some water, and I felt really bad because we're surrounded by glass doors, glass windows with other really sick people in them, and here I am screaming, um, and creating a lot of extra tension that they don't need, but I couldn't help it.
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And I was just so relieved and so grateful and so thankful.
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And all those thoughts, all those, all those prayers, all those, you know, conversations in the dark um paid off.
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But, you know, um, and it's a tough recovery.
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It's a tough, you know, Bill didn't get up out of the hospital bed in nine days, he got up once.
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And it's so miraculous to hear a pulse in that leg, and and you know, they checked the other leg and and the doctor came and saw us a couple days later, and he said, I didn't think I could do it.
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I didn't think it would work, but it's so it is it really is a miracle.
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Um, but uh the foot in the meantime, you know, the end of the foot, and there's parts of the foot that did turn, you know, into gangrene, and we still have to deal with that.
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And that's the hard reality of it, is that we're not getting out unscathed, but it could have been a lot worse.
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And so I'm thankful for what we have.
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And my husband is, you know, like I told the doctor, my husband is a medical miracle, and he agreed, um, because he was surprised as well.
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And such a such a brilliant surgeon.
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So that's my story.
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Um it's a lot to take in even now.
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And it was nine days, nine more days in a hospital.
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Um we had some we had some ups, we had some downs, but you know, um here we are.
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So on to the next chapter.
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We'll see what happens.
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But um we're tenacious, I guess.
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So next week, well, I'll have another chapter to tell you about, I'm sure.
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And in the meantime, we'll tackle that together.
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I hope you'll join me.
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If you like this episode, please follow the Only Child Diaries Podcast on Apple Podcasts or other platforms you might listen on.
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Thanks for listening.
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I'm Tracy Wallace, and these are the Only Child Diaries.