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Speaker 1: This episode deals with the topics of depression and suicide. If you or someone you know is suffering, please call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988.
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Speaker 2: Hey everybody, Brian Austin Green, and we are back with the continuation of our conversation here on I Do Part Two. And we are sitting down with WE tv's Love After Lockup Relationship Rehab.
00:00:41
Speaker 3: Cast members, we're doing this. For you guys.
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Speaker 2: Sitting in that room with other couples, was it so therapeutic and refreshing to hear, you know, not to like praise someone else going through some shit but was it it's incredibly refreshing I would assume to sit and hear somebody else's problems.
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Speaker 3: Because then you go.
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Speaker 2: Yeah then you go oh shit we're not nearly as bad as I thought we were like I for me watching the show as I'm like going through my own shit at home I watch this show and I was like Okay, it's a good reminder.
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Speaker 3: We got this. Everybody can do this.
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Speaker 4: It was nice to see that some of the things that I thought were issues in my relationship really weren't issues in my relationship, but were deriving from just somebody who was impacted by being in prison. And once I heard the other guy's stories and what the other women were saying, I'm like, oh, okay. This isn't a personal problem my husband has. This is something that when you go through the system.
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Speaker 5: That you are left with.
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Speaker 4: Okay.
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Speaker 5: So you know what I mean?
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Speaker 4: So it put us on a, on a page where I'm like more understanding with that. And it's been helpful for me to navigate through some other issues, you know, as they come up.
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Speaker 2: Was that a hard thing for you at first when, when he got out, like trying to decipher what was his own stuff and what was from his experience in there?
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Speaker 3: I mean, I would have to assume.
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Speaker 2: That that's a tough one because I'm assuming you weren't forthcoming with like, oh, this came from here.
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Speaker 3: Like you weren't into talking about it.
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Speaker 4: You were like, man, I'm just happy to be out. He wasn't into talking then at all.
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Speaker 5: Am I not a talker?
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Speaker 3: I can't believe that.
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Speaker 4: He's a talker but not about the things that we need.
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Speaker 6: To talk about but first I want to say.
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Speaker 4: That it's been four years since he's been home last week and he's just been doing.
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Speaker 1: So amazing and I'm really proud.
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Speaker 4: Of him and you know just excited to see everything else that you do going forward.
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Speaker 6: What's the percentage after four years? Because I already beat the three. It drops. Exactly.
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Speaker 3: It doesn't.
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Speaker 1: It drops drastically. So the first three years, a 75% recidivism rate. You got a 75% chance of going in. After year three.
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Speaker 3: And then if you were single, that rate was even higher, right? 85%. That's crazy. Think about that number.
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Speaker 1: If I said, man, you got an 85% chance of getting run over by a bus as soon as you leave here. You're not going to leave.
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Speaker 3: By a bus that hit you yesterday. Exactly.
00:03:07
Speaker 1: You know what? I'm going to Uber Eats for the next week and I'm just.
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Speaker 3: Going to Uber Eats.
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Speaker 1: And so after three years, man, that number dips down into the 40s. 35, 40s.
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Speaker 5: Congratulations, Michael.
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Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
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Speaker 2: Wow.
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Speaker 1: That's a hell of a lot different than 85.
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Speaker 6: They said I would be back, remember? We'd see you back.
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Speaker 1: And at five years, you dropped down into the teens.
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Speaker 6: That's what we're heading to right now.
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Speaker 5: That's where we're going.
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Speaker 3: Not trying to. That's where you're going.
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Speaker 1: That's where you're going.
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Speaker 3: Manifest. Know that that's where you're going.
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Speaker 2: Yeah.
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Speaker 6: That's where we're at. But I do want to say, I mean, you know, giving Dr. Ish and the program a chance, it really did help us. It really did help us. You know, it changed my outlook on therapy. And I had a stigma on it for a very long time.
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Speaker 2: Yeah.
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Speaker 6: But I will no longer run with that narrative, because I am a, what's that, a product.
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Speaker 3: Productive doctor is.
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Speaker 2: I always tell people, therapy is like, when I was in school, I had science, I had history, I had math, those things. I never had a class that was like, hey, here's how to deal with other people.
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Speaker 3: And emotions and stuff.
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Speaker 2: That's what a therapist is to me now, is like, I'm hiring a teacher to teach me the shit.
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Speaker 3: That I didn't learn when I was a kid.
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Speaker 1: You got it.
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Speaker 3: There's nothing shitty about that. For anybody that looks at that like, oh, what's wrong with you? It's like, nothing, man. I'm ahead of the fucking curve.
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Speaker 2: I'm paying somebody to teach me the shit that I do not know so I can excel at this.
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Speaker 1: It'd be better if we didn't call it therapy, we just called it humaning. This is a class on humaning. You're going to have these things that are your navigation system called emotions, and if you can understand the true meaning behind it, then you can navigate Earth. a lot better you know what i mean yeah but you talk it's like guys especially as guys we were not raised to dive into that you got a four-year-old son who falls and skins his knee what do you do get up it's not that bad to get it up you know right you slap it up you're fine you slap it and you know and walk it off yeah you got a four-year-old little girl who skins and hurts her knee.
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Speaker 3: Oh my God, are you okay? Come here, sweetheart. Oh my goodness, how do you feel? Not just a band-aid, a butterfly band-aid. We're going to make her put all of these things that.
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Speaker 1: We just aren't taught.
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Speaker 3: Why is that?
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Speaker 2: Do you think that that is just a generational thing that we're finally breaking the chain of?
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Speaker 6: He runs into things and gets up, walks away. We don't say, hey, come over here. Are you okay? He just He's like a little tank. And I try to tell her, like, that was my thing with being oversensitive with the boys is letting them have that toughness to get back up. You know? Because when you're always running to them when they fall, then they're going to think that, well, if I just stay here longer, mom's going to come to my aid. But I don't know it, everything. I'm not the greatest parent. I don't know it. I'm still learning.
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Speaker 3: You know what I mean?
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Speaker 2: For sure.
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Speaker 6: I do agree that I probably, when I first came home, I was very hard on my children to the point where I ran them out of my house. They didn't even want to be there. They're like, man, it's a fucking jail. We got to do everything structured.
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Speaker 5: That was hard for me too.
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Speaker 6: I didn't know how to be any other way. I felt like, yo, this is how things need to run.
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Speaker 3: Of course not. I think the beauty in that is not.
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Speaker 2: Making it some mistake that you're making or a fault of yours.
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Speaker 3: It's like I.
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Speaker 2: you're a product of your environment. Like you were in an environment that absolutely lent itself to being a very specific structured way. So you can't expect that you're going to get out and just be like, and go back to normal, normal days.
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Speaker 3: And like, there's a lot it's prison life is programming, right?
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Speaker 2: I mean, it's programming to like, really shake things up and then kind of put you back out.
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Speaker 3: I think the reform side of it is horrible.
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Speaker 1: The reform side is non-existent.
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Speaker 6: There's more drugs in prison than in the street. I mean, how could it be reformed? The guards are bringing it in. How could it be reformed?
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Speaker 1: It's non-existent by design.
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Speaker 6: It's just a different chain of command on how things work. You're not in the streets no more. Now you're on the blocks. You're on the jail blocks. My thing with the whole therapy thing was going into it and understanding how much she put on the line for me. Because if you think about it, she has this convict coming home after three and a half years that she really don't know. Don't know what I'm capable of. Don't know if I'm a pedophile. Don't know anything. But she believes in me so much that she's opening her doors to give me a comfortable home to rebuild myself. Safe space. You know what I mean? And she made that a home to the point where my other children were living there. That's how comfortable it became, you know? I just wasn't ready to receive that. I dealt with so much during my time. I couldn't switch. I couldn't just, hey, I'm out now. Let's turn off all those emotions and all those things that I built up over the years to navigate through this phase in life. You bring those tools in.
00:08:20
Speaker 1: What was the biggest barrier for you to receiving that? Because I like the way you just said that.
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Speaker 6: Believing that it was actually possible. Believing that she wasn't going to turn around and just be like, you know what? You fucking crazy. I don't want to deal with this shit no more.
00:08:35
Speaker 5: But it was hard.
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Speaker 4: It was hard to stand in that space and continue to be a present wife where you kind of just feel like in the marriage.
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Speaker 3: It's kind of thankless.
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Speaker 5: Yes, it is. It's thankless. And you have to raise children on top of it.
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Speaker 3: Which is thankless. Exactly.
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Speaker 5: That's thankless as well.
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Speaker 3: Raising children is like one of the most thankless jobs you'll do.
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Speaker 5: I tell him that all the time.
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Speaker 4: And sometimes I don't think he understands when I tell him, like, this is such a thankless job.
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Speaker 5: Like, I did all this.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, they don't give you a high five when you do something cool. You give them a high five if they draw something cool.
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Speaker 3: Exactly. Otherwise, they're like, you know, I'm hungry. Where's dinner? And then you give it to them and they go, cool. And they leave.
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Speaker 5: I feel like Michael was so stuck in.
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Speaker 4: The prison way for so long that it became an issue in our relationship because we couldn't go forward. And I wanted to move forward and I wanted to love and I wanted to, and he wasn't down to receive that. So that's another reason why doing the therapy was on my list. Why we weren't, we weren't leaving. I don't know what he thought he was going, but he wasn't going anywhere.
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Speaker 3: Straight up.
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Speaker 2: How do you feel like your appreciation of her has changed?
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Speaker 3: Since you've been out and since you did this?
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Speaker 6: The funny thing is that it was changing before. It was changing around January, which is what I would say. We had a couple weeks before we had gone on the show. And then when we got there, and that's another reason why I didn't want to cross the line. I felt like, yo, we've been doing good for all these weeks.
00:10:05
Speaker 1: Got it.
00:10:06
Speaker 6: We got something figured out. This guy is going to come into my life.
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Speaker 3: And he's going to tear it all apart again. And I don't know what to do.
00:10:13
Speaker 6: Right.
00:10:14
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:10:14
Speaker 6: So there was a lot of fear, man. Just being completely honest, fear because it's like you said, navigating emotions that we don't know.
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Speaker 1: I don't know.
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Speaker 6: The sky's going to start pulling from places and things.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, man.
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Speaker 3: Right. Do I really want to know what she thinks?
00:10:32
Speaker 2: It could change things. That's a loaded question. Like, hey, what do you think?
00:10:37
Speaker 3: How do you feel? It's like, man, do you really want the answer to that?
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Speaker 6: And I was prepared to really give the answer.
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Speaker 5: Because he wasn't getting it at home.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, what if you get an answer where you go, man, I can never forget that answer now. And now that answer has changed. Yeah, it all has come crashing down.
00:10:54
Speaker 1: And Michael, so you said something while you were there that really stuck out, man, which is You said, listen, there's a lot of me. There's a big part of who I am today that works for her. If I let you change that, then maybe I don't work for her anymore.
00:11:10
Speaker 2: Right.
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Speaker 3: And I don't want to like me anymore. Right.
00:11:12
Speaker 1: And so that's a huge fear, isn't it?
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Speaker 6: That's a risk.
00:11:15
Speaker 2: So.
00:11:15
Speaker 6: So, OK, I don't got it all figured out, but I know that she likes me and most of the time she's happy. So, I mean, I got to figure it out, but. Damn, on the days that she's not happy, I beat myself so much. Beat myself up so much that it's like, like you said. Damn, man.
00:11:35
Speaker 2: Do you make it your fault on those days when she's kind of... Because I know we tend to do that sometimes.
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Speaker 1: Most of us do.
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Speaker 2: Like, oh, you're having a bad day. I must have something to do with that. And it's like, or not.
00:11:48
Speaker 6: No, no. I'm probably... Yeah, because I think our stuff is a little bit more obvious. He's not waking up wondering, why is she upset?
00:11:56
Speaker 3: I'm not going to wonder. He knows why she's mad. He knows why. She just hit me in the jaw.
00:12:01
Speaker 2: He knows exactly what's going on.
00:12:04
Speaker 3: I know why she's mad.
00:12:05
Speaker 2: I've had to have dental work five times in the last month and a half.
00:12:08
Speaker 6: I'm going to push that button because she just threw a dart. So we're just pushing buttons here.
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Speaker 1: We're not throwing darts.
00:12:13
Speaker 6: But no, I think after coming back, we have. navigated our relationship very differently and the kids see it, which is.
00:12:20
Speaker 1: Why they're loving Dr.
00:12:21
Speaker 6: Ish right now.
00:12:22
Speaker 1: Very nice.
00:12:22
Speaker 3: I love that.
00:12:23
Speaker 6: They're loving it because they're like, wow, man, you guys came back and it's a little different. And I don't, like you said earlier, even if you argued four times in a week, it depends on what you're arguing about. Are you arguing about the fourth time that another girl's in the DM? Or are you arguing about the fourth time that you're trying to teach someone to unlearn something they've learned their whole life?
00:12:45
Speaker 2: It matters to what you're doing with these arguments. Like, are they leading to, are you really hearing what she's saying?
00:12:53
Speaker 3: Right.
00:12:53
Speaker 2: And then making a change and going, okay, you, whether I felt that way or not, that's how it made you feel.
00:13:01
Speaker 3: So I want to change that.
00:13:04
Speaker 2: Like, I think people make the mistake of thinking that if they apologize, that they're admitting guilt. Right. yep saying you're sorry doesn't mean that you did something wrong but you can still be sorry for hurting someone that you love correct yeah oh my god i'm so sorry that you got so hurt that i did that that was not my intention i never there was nothing malicious about it i would never in a million years want to do that but i fucking love you and i'm so sorry that your feelings and for you to hear that yeah then you go okay, cool.
00:13:38
Speaker 6: Like now, there's acknowledgement. Right.
00:13:40
Speaker 4: Now let's talk. That's what I feel like it is a lot of the time with women. Like, we're annoyed and we're angry in the argument because you're not like, You're not acknowledging why we're mad. A lot of time you're trying to just defend your behavior.
00:13:53
Speaker 5: Trying to win.
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Speaker 3: Exactly.
00:13:54
Speaker 5: You're trying to win in a no-win situation.
00:13:56
Speaker 2: Everybody gets caught up in this thing of who's right and who's wrong.
00:14:00
Speaker 5: Just acknowledge what I'm trying to tell you.
00:14:01
Speaker 3: It's two people.
00:14:02
Speaker 6: That's right.
00:14:02
Speaker 3: Exactly. I always tell people, it's perspectives on everything.
00:14:06
Speaker 6: If we're a team, then we're at a disagreement. We can't get on the court like that.
00:14:10
Speaker 5: We don't know the play.
00:14:13
Speaker 6: We don't know the play.
00:14:14
Speaker 1: Or I'm going to sabotage the play.
00:14:17
Speaker 6: Right now, it's only her and I. Even though we have all these children, we know that they're going to grow and create their own families. They're going to go on to do their thing. At the end of the day, it's always going to be her and I. There's things that you and I.
00:14:32
Speaker 3: Will talk about.
00:14:33
Speaker 2: Literally, it's going to be just the two of you because the kids are going to grow up and they're going to be adults and move on. And it's going to be you two sitting in the house afterwards going, okay, job done.
00:14:42
Speaker 3: Now what?
00:14:43
Speaker 5: Now what?
00:14:46
Speaker 2: Are we healthy or do we hate each other at this point? And now that the kids are out, we can go.
00:14:52
Speaker 6: So what are we doing?
00:14:52
Speaker 5: That's why it's important for us to keep.
00:14:55
Speaker 4: Our relationship fresh and fun and be together and still date Because I don't want to look at him in 18 years and be like, hey.
00:15:02
Speaker 1: Who are you?
00:15:03
Speaker 5: Do we have anything in common anymore?
00:15:05
Speaker 1: Stranger. And you got to keep fighting.
00:15:06
Speaker 2: You want to be able to look at each other and have a conversation every single time.
00:15:11
Speaker 6: Yeah.
00:15:12
Speaker 5: Let's keep going.
00:15:13
Speaker 3: We only have five minutes, but let's get into some real shit. Yeah. Right now. Let's make this five minutes worth it.
00:15:19
Speaker 1: And it sounds weird to say, but you got to keep fighting.
00:15:22
Speaker 3: Oh, you have to.
00:15:23
Speaker 1: And you've got to say the rest of the sentence, right? We didn't have a fight. we were fighting for each other. That's what we're fighting for. Because the day you guys stop fighting with each other is the day you stop fighting for each other.
00:15:35
Speaker 2: It's so easy when shit gets hard, though, to go, I'm fucking done.
00:15:41
Speaker 3: I'm out. Go fuck yourself. I'm good.
00:15:44
Speaker 6: I don't need this shit.
00:15:46
Speaker 3: That doesn't lead to anything good.
00:15:47
Speaker 5: You need that shit more than.
00:15:49
Speaker 3: You think, buddy.
00:15:50
Speaker 2: They call it the road less traveled because it's a harder road. Exactly.
00:15:55
Speaker 3: It's less traveled for a reason. It's hard to wake up. When you're, when you.
00:15:58
Speaker 2: Stay on it, the payoff at the end of that compared to the world that everybody's on is like, you have the sunset and the view and like, it's, it's sky's the limit, whatever the fuck you want, but you have to be willing to just fight it out.
00:16:13
Speaker 3: Like you gotta be man enough to go. I can, I can make it through those.
00:16:17
Speaker 6: Also, what example are you going to set? Not just for your children, but for other men, Because we inspire each other. I've seen many guys dress and I'm like, damn, fucking outfit looks amazing, right? He's inspiring me to go do some shit like that. He doesn't even know it.
00:16:32
Speaker 2: Right.
00:16:33
Speaker 6: But it was his form of creativity, of expression that gave me the inspiration. Right? Yeah. So therefore, when you're telling your truths, people who are scared to come out of the woodworks, you might give them the strength.
00:16:46
Speaker 3: You know what?
00:16:46
Speaker 6: I'm going through that same shit too.
00:16:49
Speaker 2: Right.
00:16:50
Speaker 3: It's their light bulb moments for people.
00:16:52
Speaker 2: You never know what they are, but you hear something from anybody, from a fucking gas station attendant, you hear something, you go, oh my God, that's the thing that I needed to connect all the dots. And I've done that with the simplest shit. People will tell me shit sometimes where I'm like, fucking key to the universe.
00:17:11
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh my God, where has this been all my life? God damn it, it's so easy, you know?
00:17:18
Speaker 2: And the more you guys talk and you connect, the more you realize that life is so much fucking easier than we make it.
00:17:27
Speaker 6: Especially when you cancel out the outside noise, like you said.
00:17:30
Speaker 3: Cut it.
00:17:31
Speaker 6: We're not on our social media accounts. We have a management company that's handling that. So whatever y'all say, good or bad, is going to have to go through someone.
00:17:40
Speaker 3: And I'm not going to read it. Don't read the comments. Even if I did, I don't care.
00:17:44
Speaker 1: Don't read the comments.
00:17:45
Speaker 3: Mute the comments. Do not.
00:17:47
Speaker 1: Just make an agreement to not.
00:17:48
Speaker 6: Because we understand that people rather tear people down than build them up. We understand that, right?
00:17:53
Speaker 3: Because it's easier.
00:17:54
Speaker 6: So why would I allow you to affect me with something that I already understand?
00:17:57
Speaker 3: It's easier, man.
00:17:58
Speaker 2: You got like, 90% of the people that are commenting are trying to drag you down to the level that they're at. The good people are the ones that either leave comments where you go, man, thank you for acknowledging that. That's amazing. Or they don't fucking comment at all. They just read it just to get information. But it's always... They play the neutral. Yeah, it's always the dude sitting at home whose life is way fucking out of whack that's like, I want to judge you for all your shit. Exactly.
00:18:27
Speaker 6: Throughout every single picture, but you're not a fan.
00:18:29
Speaker 1: And it's so easy. We all get sucked into it.
00:18:31
Speaker 3: Why are you even following me? I don't understand.
00:18:33
Speaker 6: That's the point.
00:18:34
Speaker 2: If you hate me so much, why are you on my page every single day commenting?
00:18:38
Speaker 6: Listen, let me make it clear. I don't have millions. I only have 90,000 followers, but I'm willing to turn it in now.
00:18:44
Speaker 3: Dude, 90,000 is a lot of fucking people.
00:18:45
Speaker 6: You know what I mean? Because the attention that we get now with the numbers we have, I can only imagine once it gets into the millions. So I don't want that. We don't need that outside noise. We're working for each other. We're working towards a goal. And we got so much shit going on. So much good stuff going on.
00:19:00
Speaker 1: You can't let people with nothing talk you out of having something.
00:19:03
Speaker 6: We got to execute our plan. That's just what it is, man. We have to execute our plan.
00:19:07
Speaker 3: Got to keep your eye on the ball. And as long as we.
00:19:09
Speaker 6: Stay in contact and we're understanding each other's language, because that's what it is. How do I speak to you about certain things? How do you speak to me about certain things? You know I don't like authority. Don't come up to me what I need to do.
00:19:19
Speaker 4: Right.
00:19:20
Speaker 6: You're going to get more.
00:19:21
Speaker 3: Just phrase it in a different way.
00:19:23
Speaker 5: Yeah, you have to.
00:19:23
Speaker 4: If I were you, I would do this.
00:19:28
Speaker 1: That was a big challenge.
00:19:29
Speaker 5: The craziest thing.
00:19:29
Speaker 1: That was a big challenge when he came through the door. Because I'm like, he's that guy, right? He's that dude.
00:19:35
Speaker 2: How am I going to frame this where he doesn't feel like I'm attacking him?
00:19:37
Speaker 1: How do I frame this up to keep him in the boat long enough so he can see something there? And it was a challenge for me. Because it wasn't just him, there was a lot of guys in the room who were just like that. And so now I've got to adjust the approach a little bit to figure out how do I keep Michael in this room long enough for him to figure out if I stay, there might be a way for me to feel better walking out of here. That was a challenge, man.
00:20:04
Speaker 6: I felt like when I relaxed too, I don't know if Dr. Ish peeped it, but I felt like the guys relaxed as well. I honestly felt like everybody was just on edge. Everybody was like, we're going to see.
00:20:14
Speaker 1: It's a whole new thing we were doing.
00:20:16
Speaker 6: I'm telling you, man.
00:20:16
Speaker 3: It's a whole new language you're learning.
00:20:18
Speaker 6: We were talking an unspoken language. We were talking an unspoken language. We're all looking at each other. We're all sizing each other up. We just did. It's a prison thing. But then after we realized no one's a threat. No one's after anybody. Everyone's just trying to better themselves. That was when he said he came in. Everything's smooth. Everything is like everyone's. Putting the knives away and the shanks away.
00:20:40
Speaker 5: The guy is just talking about the girls. We were fine. We were having a good old time. We was having a nice time.
00:20:45
Speaker 2: Right.
00:20:46
Speaker 6: But what's crazy is she comes back home and tells me, Mike, the girl said that every other man was doing the same thing.
00:20:52
Speaker 3: Ninja rolling. I'm like, there you go.
00:20:54
Speaker 1: Look at that.
00:20:55
Speaker 5: Crazy. Preparing for battle.
00:20:57
Speaker 3: Preparing for battle. Right.
00:20:58
Speaker 1: Preparing for battle. But this was a different, it's a different part of battle. It's emotional labor. No one prepared for that.
00:21:05
Speaker 5: You didn't prepare for that emotional labor part.
00:21:17
Speaker 2: Kudos to you, like stepping into that world with that many people and like standing your ground for the purpose of positively affecting people. That is, I give you so much credit for that because that's.
00:21:32
Speaker 3: A big one.
00:21:33
Speaker 2: And what you guys are doing now, doing the show and then just sitting here and talking to me now is doing that.
00:21:39
Speaker 3: It's like you are putting yourselves out there a little bit.
00:21:43
Speaker 2: Hoping that somebody hears one word of it and goes, oh my God, I know how to change my life now.
00:21:49
Speaker 6: We know it's not a hope because your podcast obviously has listeners, right? So there's somebody that is listening to this or is going to listen to this, is going to say, I can take something from.
00:21:59
Speaker 3: What one of the four of them said.
00:22:01
Speaker 2: Right.
00:22:02
Speaker 6: I mean, it'd be crazy to think that someone is not going to listen to this and not be inspired by something.
00:22:07
Speaker 2: I think if we have a genuine, it's what I was saying in the beginning, like if we have a genuine conversation, how is there not stuff to take from, you sit in any room with four people talking, you're going to walk away with something that those four people said. If I'm just sitting here asking you guys questions, somebody might go, yeah, that answer was kind of cool, but you're not really getting in and getting the real essence of who somebody is compared to when we're all sitting and chopping it up like this.
00:22:36
Speaker 3: Cause our, Like I said before, our stories are different.
00:22:42
Speaker 2: But our life experiences and the emotions and the things that we're going through right now are really similar.
00:22:48
Speaker 1: Similar.
00:22:49
Speaker 3: They're really similar.
00:22:50
Speaker 1: The same bad things happen to all of us.
00:22:51
Speaker 3: We all have insecurities. We all have like, we judge ourselves.
00:22:55
Speaker 2: We all have an issue with being honest and opening up and feel scared and do it.
00:23:02
Speaker 3: All of us do.
00:23:02
Speaker 6: That's right.
00:23:03
Speaker 2: We might have different things that led us to that. But we all have it. So, like, why not all sit together?
00:23:11
Speaker 6: Figure this shit out.
00:23:12
Speaker 1: Figure this shit out, man. The same kinds of bad things happen to all of us, you know?
00:23:16
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:23:17
Speaker 1: And we take the same meaning from it. Everybody suffers from not enough-itis. All right?
00:23:22
Speaker 3: Not enough-itis.
00:23:23
Speaker 1: We all do. We all do.
00:23:25
Speaker 6: Yeah.
00:23:25
Speaker 1: And especially coming from being impacted by justice, one of the hard things to believe is, is it second chance possible? Do I... Do I believe in it? Is that for me? But if you're going to believe in second chances, you first got to give yourself one. Here's something a lot of folks don't realize. If you're talking about relationships and marriage, 64% of the folks who are happily with somebody now found that person after their first marriage.
00:23:53
Speaker 5: Yeah, that happened to me.
00:23:53
Speaker 1: Really?
00:23:54
Speaker 3: Really.
00:23:55
Speaker 1: Look at that.
00:23:55
Speaker 3: And why is that?
00:23:56
Speaker 1: Second chances, because you learn on the first ride.
00:23:59
Speaker 2: It's so fitting that you're on a show called I Do Part Two.
00:24:03
Speaker 3: You got it. It's like people, yeah. Think about that number, right? It makes sense, though. You go in, you go, I'm not doing that again. A relationship is a mirror.
00:24:13
Speaker 1: You walk in and every morning they are holding up the Brian mirror.
00:24:16
Speaker 3: It's fully lighted.
00:24:17
Speaker 1: And they're like, this is you. What are you going to do about it? So it takes a first go around to really learn how to do that. Yeah, we're going to take it personal. It's going to sting. But can I adjust? But by the second go around, you're like, okay, I kind of think I know how this works. And I'm taking it less personally.
00:24:33
Speaker 6: I mean, and think about it, right? If you heard a relationship, oh, we've been together 30 years.
00:24:37
Speaker 3: Oh, yeah?
00:24:38
Speaker 6: It's been great. All 30 years?
00:24:43
Speaker 2: What's really wrong with you guys?
00:24:46
Speaker 6: How did you get to the 30? Well, I'm going to tell you how. The first 10 was hell.
00:24:49
Speaker 3: Right.
00:24:50
Speaker 1: Exactly.
00:24:50
Speaker 3: If they're being honest.
00:24:52
Speaker 6: The second 10, we kind of got it together.
00:24:54
Speaker 3: These 10, we've been living.
00:24:55
Speaker 1: Right.
00:24:56
Speaker 6: That is the truth.
00:24:57
Speaker 1: It's growth.
00:24:58
Speaker 6: You're not going to hear someone say that they've been together with someone for that amount of time.
00:25:02
Speaker 2: Right.
00:25:03
Speaker 6: And it's just been great.
00:25:04
Speaker 2: No.
00:25:04
Speaker 4: Because marriage is about finding somebody you want to go through the hard times with.
00:25:08
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a fucking long haul.
00:25:10
Speaker 5: It's a partner through all of it. Exactly.
00:25:12
Speaker 1: And learning how to fall in and out of love because that's what you're doing over and over and over again.
00:25:16
Speaker 3: Exactly.
00:25:17
Speaker 6: Right now I'm experiencing the loss of my sister. Again, I'm so sorry to hear that.
00:25:22
Speaker 3: And you're pregnant?
00:25:23
Speaker 6: No, she's present.
00:25:24
Speaker 5: Let's not put those women out there.
00:25:26
Speaker 3: Wait a second. I've had enough babies. Mormon wives, what the fuck is going on here?
00:25:31
Speaker 1: Goddamn.
00:25:31
Speaker 5: No, I'm for a rest.
00:25:32
Speaker 3: That's amazing.
00:25:34
Speaker 6: I'm going through this experience with her. And I wouldn't have wanted it with anyone else, to be honest. She's a cancer. She's in touch with her feelings. This is the person to vent.
00:25:44
Speaker 3: We're cancers as well.
00:25:45
Speaker 1: Same, same.
00:25:46
Speaker 3: July 15th. June 28th.
00:25:47
Speaker 1: June 24th.
00:25:50
Speaker 3: Okay, guys. Bam, bam, bam. Yeah, exactly. I'm a Gemini.
00:25:55
Speaker 1: I'm just going.
00:25:57
Speaker 3: To say Gemini. I'm not even into astrology, but I was just looking. I was like, you're a.
00:26:03
Speaker 1: Gemini, man.
00:26:04
Speaker 3: When's your birthday?
00:26:05
Speaker 6: May 22nd. I'm on the cusp, man. A little bit of Taurus, a little bit of Gemini.
00:26:11
Speaker 3: So my fiance is right on the cusp of Gemini cancer. She's the 21st of June.
00:26:15
Speaker 1: I have one of those.
00:26:17
Speaker 5: I have one of those at home.
00:26:18
Speaker 3: So she can easily... Go either way.
00:26:21
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:26:22
Speaker 2: I prefer when she's majority cancer because it just feels better.
00:26:26
Speaker 5: Me too. We love cancer so much.
00:26:29
Speaker 4: We had our babies just under a year apart, and they're both cancers. So we have Millian. His birthday is July 1st. July 4th in Manhattan is July 7th.
00:26:39
Speaker 2: Wow. So cool.
00:26:40
Speaker 4: We are some cancer-driven people over at that house.
00:26:43
Speaker 3: I get it, man. We're emotional, right?
00:26:46
Speaker 1: And we like to sit with them for a while, you know?
00:26:48
Speaker 2: We do.
00:26:49
Speaker 1: Thank you, guys.
00:26:50
Speaker 2: See?
00:26:51
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:26:51
Speaker 5: We like to sit with him for a while, Mike.
00:26:53
Speaker 3: We just like to chop it up every once.
00:26:55
Speaker 2: In a while.
00:26:56
Speaker 1: That's all it is.
00:26:56
Speaker 3: We need that.
00:26:57
Speaker 2: We need that.
00:26:57
Speaker 6: It doesn't seem like I'm telling you to be emotional. What I'm saying is the way you process emotions and I was processing emotions were very different because of our circumstances. Of course. That's all I was saying, you know?
00:27:08
Speaker 2: Of course.
00:27:09
Speaker 6: But you being a cancer heightens that emotion. Which is why you can navigate it way much easier.
00:27:14
Speaker 4: That was something that we were talking about on the first episode was how like you're very tough and that's just not necessarily who I am or to the capacity in which you are.
00:27:25
Speaker 5: But, you know, I just feel like we've been through different things.
00:27:28
Speaker 4: There's places that I'm extremely strong at and I think that that came out during the second episode where I'm bringing you across the line. Those are my strengths. I'm emotionally strong. I'm mentally strong. Like, you know, I bring different things to the table and that's what, you know, makes us good.
00:27:44
Speaker 6: I agree.
00:27:45
Speaker 2: I think astrology is interesting because you hear a sign and you go, oh, that's who you're supposed to be. But then your childhood and your life makes you something completely different than what was supposed to be.
00:27:57
Speaker 6: But that's why when you do things that are closer to that, to the sign, it feels good.
00:28:06
Speaker 3: Because it just works. You're not going against the grain.
00:28:09
Speaker 6: The planet of intelligence. So every time I'm learning something, it's like I'm getting high.
00:28:12
Speaker 3: You feel home.
00:28:14
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:28:14
Speaker 6: Learning something.
00:28:15
Speaker 3: I'm always listening.
00:28:16
Speaker 1: I'm always.
00:28:17
Speaker 6: For her, anyone that needs to dump emotions, she's there to talk. Yeah, she can process those.
00:28:25
Speaker 3: Me, I'm like.
00:28:26
Speaker 6: Wait, I can't process my emotion. You think I got time to process yours?
00:28:30
Speaker 2: Right.
00:28:30
Speaker 3: Holy shit. But that's why we have me at the house.
00:28:32
Speaker 5: I take them all in here.
00:28:34
Speaker 3: Here we go.
00:28:35
Speaker 2: It's why you guys compliment each other. He can stand for the parts of you that you don't have. He can be strong and make those choices. And then you can keep him grounded emotionally and be.
00:28:47
Speaker 6: Like, just put a check on your emotions.
00:28:49
Speaker 3: Let me give you guys a little.
00:28:50
Speaker 6: One real quick. When she first had Maddie, I was already kind of worried about the parenting because now this is when we share. I'm not going to tell your boys how I would tell my boys. You know what I mean? But these two, we got to go 50-50 for real, right? In the beginning, she's like, well, you know, we can't be too loud. I'm like, man, trust me. You're talking out your ass right now. You'll see what having a dad around does. Now, it's Maddie, Mike, and.
00:29:21
Speaker 1: My daughter's dad.
00:29:22
Speaker 6: And I'm like, there it is. There's the balance.
00:29:24
Speaker 1: You see?
00:29:25
Speaker 6: You said it three times, but you said my name and she's doing it now. So let me be that guy.
00:29:29
Speaker 3: You be the one that... Let me be the bad guy. I'll wear it. I'll be fine with it.
00:29:33
Speaker 6: But I'll tell you one thing. That child will learn how to respect you on the level that he sees me respect you.
00:29:38
Speaker 1: Of course.
00:29:39
Speaker 2: My son. as a parent, man, I always take the stance of like, you guys are going to have friends your entire lives. My job isn't to be your friend. My job is to be your one and only dad. So I'm going to call you on shit. I'm going to be fucking honest about things. I'm going to be tougher on you at certain points when you need it.
00:29:56
Speaker 3: That's my job.
00:29:58
Speaker 2: I'm doing you guys a disservice.
00:30:00
Speaker 1: If I don't do that. And throw them a parade when they earned it.
00:30:02
Speaker 3: Exactly.
00:30:13
Speaker 2: Parenting's a lot, isn't it? Like it's a, to navigate it. It's really, I was having this conversation with someone before. Like, I think it's, I think it's a real fine line of like, um, wanting to keep your kids from getting hurt without robbing them of the experience that they're supposed to have. of getting hurt a certain way that is going to keep them from never doing that again.
00:30:38
Speaker 1: To help them build a fine line.
00:30:38
Speaker 2: If you fall off something and you scrape your knee, you're not going to get up on something like that anymore and scrape your knee again. If I, as soon as you get up on the table, I'm like, get off the table. You could fall and hurt yourself. It's like, man, I'm robbing you. Right.
00:30:49
Speaker 6: I'm busting your ass real quick.
00:30:51
Speaker 2: Right.
00:30:52
Speaker 3: Except as a parent, like, I don't want to see you get hurt.
00:30:54
Speaker 2: But at the same time, it's like, man, I've got to, if I look back on my life and I learned from all the failures, not the successes of any of it, I don't want to rob you of failing because you're going to learn so much.
00:31:07
Speaker 6: Failure has made me who I am. So to think that you're going to take a kid and make sure they have no failures or whatever, it's impossible. What we're learning now, because my daughter is going to be 20, her daughter is 21, our sons are going to be 18, right? What we're learning is it really doesn't matter what you did for the last 21 years. Because whatever she decides to do from here on, if she wants to take the tools that you've given her and apply, you'll see that. But if she wants to be influenced and wants to know it all and do whatever they want, you can't tell yourself you failed because you got them to where they were old enough to take the torch and keep going. They decided not to. At that point, you can't look at me and you're saying, Mike, your son's again, 25, in the news. That's his fucking problem.
00:31:53
Speaker 3: Right, that's on him. He's supposed to be in the news. He's supposed to go through this.
00:31:58
Speaker 2: Can we just get into a quick note of where people can find the show, where they can find you guys?
00:32:07
Speaker 3: I think that's invaluable for people.
00:32:09
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:32:10
Speaker 1: Listen, so Love After Lockup, Relationship Rehab, streaming now on AllReality.com. And new episodes every Friday night at WeTV.
00:32:18
Speaker 3: Every Friday night.
00:32:19
Speaker 6: Every Friday night, man.
00:32:20
Speaker 3: And how about you? You guys have tons of things going on.
00:32:23
Speaker 2: Do you have social media stuff that you want to.
00:32:26
Speaker 6: Yeah, we have social media and stuff like that, but we do have a lot going on. We have tons of stuff going on. I think 2027 is going to be... I think everyone's going to be amazed at what we pulled off. That's all I'm.
00:32:37
Speaker 3: Going to say.
00:32:37
Speaker 5: I think people are going to just look back and be like, wow, I can't even believe that this started out as.
00:32:43
Speaker 4: One crazy girl who found, you know, love behind bars. Like, look what they are doing now and look what their family is doing. So I think everyone's going to be very happy and surprised to.
00:32:52
Speaker 5: See what we have next.
00:32:53
Speaker 1: Definitely.
00:32:53
Speaker 6: Very nice.
00:32:54
Speaker 1: That's amazing.
00:32:55
Speaker 2: That's really, thank you guys for having this conversation.
00:32:57
Speaker 6: Thank you so much for having us.
00:32:58
Speaker 5: Thank you so much for having us.
00:32:59
Speaker 3: I think that like this, this.
00:33:01
Speaker 2: Can do so much good for so many people just hearing something, you know, a conversation as simple as this one.
00:33:06
Speaker 1: Human, we're all allowed those moments of humanity, man. You know, you can find me under my name, Dr. Ish Major, or if you just go to Google and type in help me my name comes.
00:33:15
Speaker 3: Up i need.
00:33:23
Speaker 2: Help you come on cup of tea right i tell you off your teeth.
00:33:28
Speaker 1: I'm just i kept saying it over and over again i'm just so proud of these guys the work thank you the courage it took to come through and show up as somebody different a different version of yourself a to share things that, some of the things that were just unspeakable, to say, hey, I'm bigger than the worst decision I've ever made, right? And I can put some of these hard things in the rear view and look forward to something else, right? We all deserve that. And so I just, the magic in this show is you guys.
00:33:59
Speaker 6: Thank you.
00:33:59
Speaker 5: Thank you so much.
00:34:00
Speaker 3: Because you guys come in Be proud of yourself, though, too.
00:34:03
Speaker 2: Because it takes someone to come in and really want to make a difference. It's easy to show up and be like, oh, this is the show. And so I just do this. And I ask the questions and the stuff. And then never talk again afterwards. And don't really care. Don't really care for updates.
00:34:20
Speaker 1: And Mike was a barometer. I was like, you know what? If I walk in the room and this guy thinks I'm full of shit, we're done.
00:34:26
Speaker 3: We're done.
00:34:26
Speaker 2: We're done.
00:34:27
Speaker 1: So I got to keep it all the way real. All the way real.
00:34:31
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:34:32
Speaker 3: I love that. I love that you guys like have that connection. It's amazing.
00:34:36
Speaker 4: Yes.
00:34:37
Speaker 3: Um, thank, thank you to everyone.
00:34:39
Speaker 2: For listening to another episode of I do part two where we're here to help. So reach out to us in, in any way you can, whether it's email, whether there's, I think there are phone numbers and things that we put up on the screen.
00:34:51
Speaker 3: Um, reach out. We're, we're, we're here to help.
00:34:54
Speaker 2: And, uh, We really are here for the goal of part two being way better than part one ever was.
00:35:01
Speaker 6: I don't want to say anyone dealing with like suicide or they dealing with anything like that. Reach out, man. Speak to someone. You're not alone. You're not alone. You may think you're alone. And just even if you have to call a hotline, just talk to somebody. Because I think people don't see the effect it has after the action. And I think that's what her and I are going to highlight because we're definitely going to, like my sister's death is not in vain. Like I'm going to make sure that it makes a difference, you know? So yeah, that's all I want to say.
00:35:33
Speaker 2: That's that silver lining we were talking about. You look back on every horrible situation. You don't know when, how long it's going to take. Could be a week, month, year, 10 years. But you look back on it and you go, man, what a catalyst that was.
00:35:46
Speaker 3: Yes.
00:35:47
Speaker 2: You know, I grew up with John Walsh, whose son Adam Walsh, Uh, they, they found him, he had been like beheaded and he was young and John Walsh ended up starting America's most wanted and doing that. And that's right. You never know what the catalyst is, you know, but the fact that you like now have this fire and this burn of like really reaching out to people and going, Hey, I like, I've, I've been there.
00:36:14
Speaker 3: I know other people that have been there reach out. Like, I want to help. That's, that's amazing. That's invaluable. That's I applaud that.
00:36:21
Speaker 6: Definitely.
00:36:22
Speaker 2: Thank you. Truly.
Speaker 1: This episode deals with the topics of depression and suicide. If you or someone you know is suffering, please call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988.
00:00:27
Speaker 2: Hey everybody, Brian Austin Green, and we are back with the continuation of our conversation here on I Do Part Two. And we are sitting down with WE tv's Love After Lockup Relationship Rehab.
00:00:41
Speaker 3: Cast members, we're doing this. For you guys.
00:00:44
Speaker 2: Sitting in that room with other couples, was it so therapeutic and refreshing to hear, you know, not to like praise someone else going through some shit but was it it's incredibly refreshing I would assume to sit and hear somebody else's problems.
00:01:03
Speaker 3: Because then you go.
00:01:05
Speaker 2: Yeah then you go oh shit we're not nearly as bad as I thought we were like I for me watching the show as I'm like going through my own shit at home I watch this show and I was like Okay, it's a good reminder.
00:01:16
Speaker 3: We got this. Everybody can do this.
00:01:19
Speaker 4: It was nice to see that some of the things that I thought were issues in my relationship really weren't issues in my relationship, but were deriving from just somebody who was impacted by being in prison. And once I heard the other guy's stories and what the other women were saying, I'm like, oh, okay. This isn't a personal problem my husband has. This is something that when you go through the system.
00:01:41
Speaker 5: That you are left with.
00:01:42
Speaker 4: Okay.
00:01:43
Speaker 5: So you know what I mean?
00:01:43
Speaker 4: So it put us on a, on a page where I'm like more understanding with that. And it's been helpful for me to navigate through some other issues, you know, as they come up.
00:01:51
Speaker 2: Was that a hard thing for you at first when, when he got out, like trying to decipher what was his own stuff and what was from his experience in there?
00:02:02
Speaker 3: I mean, I would have to assume.
00:02:04
Speaker 2: That that's a tough one because I'm assuming you weren't forthcoming with like, oh, this came from here.
00:02:10
Speaker 3: Like you weren't into talking about it.
00:02:11
Speaker 4: You were like, man, I'm just happy to be out. He wasn't into talking then at all.
00:02:16
Speaker 5: Am I not a talker?
00:02:18
Speaker 3: I can't believe that.
00:02:19
Speaker 4: He's a talker but not about the things that we need.
00:02:23
Speaker 6: To talk about but first I want to say.
00:02:25
Speaker 4: That it's been four years since he's been home last week and he's just been doing.
00:02:29
Speaker 1: So amazing and I'm really proud.
00:02:32
Speaker 4: Of him and you know just excited to see everything else that you do going forward.
00:02:37
Speaker 6: What's the percentage after four years? Because I already beat the three. It drops. Exactly.
00:02:41
Speaker 3: It doesn't.
00:02:42
Speaker 1: It drops drastically. So the first three years, a 75% recidivism rate. You got a 75% chance of going in. After year three.
00:02:50
Speaker 3: And then if you were single, that rate was even higher, right? 85%. That's crazy. Think about that number.
00:02:56
Speaker 1: If I said, man, you got an 85% chance of getting run over by a bus as soon as you leave here. You're not going to leave.
00:03:03
Speaker 3: By a bus that hit you yesterday. Exactly.
00:03:07
Speaker 1: You know what? I'm going to Uber Eats for the next week and I'm just.
00:03:10
Speaker 3: Going to Uber Eats.
00:03:11
Speaker 1: And so after three years, man, that number dips down into the 40s. 35, 40s.
00:03:16
Speaker 5: Congratulations, Michael.
00:03:18
Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
00:03:20
Speaker 2: Wow.
00:03:20
Speaker 1: That's a hell of a lot different than 85.
00:03:23
Speaker 6: They said I would be back, remember? We'd see you back.
00:03:26
Speaker 1: And at five years, you dropped down into the teens.
00:03:31
Speaker 6: That's what we're heading to right now.
00:03:32
Speaker 5: That's where we're going.
00:03:33
Speaker 3: Not trying to. That's where you're going.
00:03:35
Speaker 1: That's where you're going.
00:03:36
Speaker 3: Manifest. Know that that's where you're going.
00:03:39
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:03:39
Speaker 6: That's where we're at. But I do want to say, I mean, you know, giving Dr. Ish and the program a chance, it really did help us. It really did help us. You know, it changed my outlook on therapy. And I had a stigma on it for a very long time.
00:03:53
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:03:54
Speaker 6: But I will no longer run with that narrative, because I am a, what's that, a product.
00:04:01
Speaker 3: Productive doctor is.
00:04:03
Speaker 2: I always tell people, therapy is like, when I was in school, I had science, I had history, I had math, those things. I never had a class that was like, hey, here's how to deal with other people.
00:04:16
Speaker 3: And emotions and stuff.
00:04:17
Speaker 2: That's what a therapist is to me now, is like, I'm hiring a teacher to teach me the shit.
00:04:22
Speaker 3: That I didn't learn when I was a kid.
00:04:24
Speaker 1: You got it.
00:04:25
Speaker 3: There's nothing shitty about that. For anybody that looks at that like, oh, what's wrong with you? It's like, nothing, man. I'm ahead of the fucking curve.
00:04:34
Speaker 2: I'm paying somebody to teach me the shit that I do not know so I can excel at this.
00:04:39
Speaker 1: It'd be better if we didn't call it therapy, we just called it humaning. This is a class on humaning. You're going to have these things that are your navigation system called emotions, and if you can understand the true meaning behind it, then you can navigate Earth. a lot better you know what i mean yeah but you talk it's like guys especially as guys we were not raised to dive into that you got a four-year-old son who falls and skins his knee what do you do get up it's not that bad to get it up you know right you slap it up you're fine you slap it and you know and walk it off yeah you got a four-year-old little girl who skins and hurts her knee.
00:05:18
Speaker 3: Oh my God, are you okay? Come here, sweetheart. Oh my goodness, how do you feel? Not just a band-aid, a butterfly band-aid. We're going to make her put all of these things that.
00:05:29
Speaker 1: We just aren't taught.
00:05:31
Speaker 3: Why is that?
00:05:33
Speaker 2: Do you think that that is just a generational thing that we're finally breaking the chain of?
00:05:38
Speaker 6: He runs into things and gets up, walks away. We don't say, hey, come over here. Are you okay? He just He's like a little tank. And I try to tell her, like, that was my thing with being oversensitive with the boys is letting them have that toughness to get back up. You know? Because when you're always running to them when they fall, then they're going to think that, well, if I just stay here longer, mom's going to come to my aid. But I don't know it, everything. I'm not the greatest parent. I don't know it. I'm still learning.
00:06:06
Speaker 3: You know what I mean?
00:06:07
Speaker 2: For sure.
00:06:09
Speaker 6: I do agree that I probably, when I first came home, I was very hard on my children to the point where I ran them out of my house. They didn't even want to be there. They're like, man, it's a fucking jail. We got to do everything structured.
00:06:18
Speaker 5: That was hard for me too.
00:06:21
Speaker 6: I didn't know how to be any other way. I felt like, yo, this is how things need to run.
00:06:26
Speaker 3: Of course not. I think the beauty in that is not.
00:06:32
Speaker 2: Making it some mistake that you're making or a fault of yours.
00:06:36
Speaker 3: It's like I.
00:06:37
Speaker 2: you're a product of your environment. Like you were in an environment that absolutely lent itself to being a very specific structured way. So you can't expect that you're going to get out and just be like, and go back to normal, normal days.
00:06:52
Speaker 3: And like, there's a lot it's prison life is programming, right?
00:06:57
Speaker 2: I mean, it's programming to like, really shake things up and then kind of put you back out.
00:07:02
Speaker 3: I think the reform side of it is horrible.
00:07:06
Speaker 1: The reform side is non-existent.
00:07:08
Speaker 6: There's more drugs in prison than in the street. I mean, how could it be reformed? The guards are bringing it in. How could it be reformed?
00:07:17
Speaker 1: It's non-existent by design.
00:07:18
Speaker 6: It's just a different chain of command on how things work. You're not in the streets no more. Now you're on the blocks. You're on the jail blocks. My thing with the whole therapy thing was going into it and understanding how much she put on the line for me. Because if you think about it, she has this convict coming home after three and a half years that she really don't know. Don't know what I'm capable of. Don't know if I'm a pedophile. Don't know anything. But she believes in me so much that she's opening her doors to give me a comfortable home to rebuild myself. Safe space. You know what I mean? And she made that a home to the point where my other children were living there. That's how comfortable it became, you know? I just wasn't ready to receive that. I dealt with so much during my time. I couldn't switch. I couldn't just, hey, I'm out now. Let's turn off all those emotions and all those things that I built up over the years to navigate through this phase in life. You bring those tools in.
00:08:20
Speaker 1: What was the biggest barrier for you to receiving that? Because I like the way you just said that.
00:08:26
Speaker 6: Believing that it was actually possible. Believing that she wasn't going to turn around and just be like, you know what? You fucking crazy. I don't want to deal with this shit no more.
00:08:35
Speaker 5: But it was hard.
00:08:36
Speaker 4: It was hard to stand in that space and continue to be a present wife where you kind of just feel like in the marriage.
00:08:44
Speaker 3: It's kind of thankless.
00:08:45
Speaker 5: Yes, it is. It's thankless. And you have to raise children on top of it.
00:08:49
Speaker 3: Which is thankless. Exactly.
00:08:51
Speaker 5: That's thankless as well.
00:08:52
Speaker 3: Raising children is like one of the most thankless jobs you'll do.
00:08:54
Speaker 5: I tell him that all the time.
00:08:56
Speaker 4: And sometimes I don't think he understands when I tell him, like, this is such a thankless job.
00:08:58
Speaker 5: Like, I did all this.
00:08:59
Speaker 2: Yeah, they don't give you a high five when you do something cool. You give them a high five if they draw something cool.
00:09:05
Speaker 3: Exactly. Otherwise, they're like, you know, I'm hungry. Where's dinner? And then you give it to them and they go, cool. And they leave.
00:09:11
Speaker 5: I feel like Michael was so stuck in.
00:09:15
Speaker 4: The prison way for so long that it became an issue in our relationship because we couldn't go forward. And I wanted to move forward and I wanted to love and I wanted to, and he wasn't down to receive that. So that's another reason why doing the therapy was on my list. Why we weren't, we weren't leaving. I don't know what he thought he was going, but he wasn't going anywhere.
00:09:40
Speaker 3: Straight up.
00:09:41
Speaker 2: How do you feel like your appreciation of her has changed?
00:09:45
Speaker 3: Since you've been out and since you did this?
00:09:47
Speaker 6: The funny thing is that it was changing before. It was changing around January, which is what I would say. We had a couple weeks before we had gone on the show. And then when we got there, and that's another reason why I didn't want to cross the line. I felt like, yo, we've been doing good for all these weeks.
00:10:05
Speaker 1: Got it.
00:10:06
Speaker 6: We got something figured out. This guy is going to come into my life.
00:10:10
Speaker 3: And he's going to tear it all apart again. And I don't know what to do.
00:10:13
Speaker 6: Right.
00:10:14
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:10:14
Speaker 6: So there was a lot of fear, man. Just being completely honest, fear because it's like you said, navigating emotions that we don't know.
00:10:22
Speaker 1: I don't know.
00:10:23
Speaker 6: The sky's going to start pulling from places and things.
00:10:28
Speaker 4: Yeah, man.
00:10:29
Speaker 3: Right. Do I really want to know what she thinks?
00:10:32
Speaker 2: It could change things. That's a loaded question. Like, hey, what do you think?
00:10:37
Speaker 3: How do you feel? It's like, man, do you really want the answer to that?
00:10:40
Speaker 6: And I was prepared to really give the answer.
00:10:41
Speaker 5: Because he wasn't getting it at home.
00:10:44
Speaker 2: Yeah, what if you get an answer where you go, man, I can never forget that answer now. And now that answer has changed. Yeah, it all has come crashing down.
00:10:54
Speaker 1: And Michael, so you said something while you were there that really stuck out, man, which is You said, listen, there's a lot of me. There's a big part of who I am today that works for her. If I let you change that, then maybe I don't work for her anymore.
00:11:10
Speaker 2: Right.
00:11:11
Speaker 3: And I don't want to like me anymore. Right.
00:11:12
Speaker 1: And so that's a huge fear, isn't it?
00:11:14
Speaker 6: That's a risk.
00:11:15
Speaker 2: So.
00:11:15
Speaker 6: So, OK, I don't got it all figured out, but I know that she likes me and most of the time she's happy. So, I mean, I got to figure it out, but. Damn, on the days that she's not happy, I beat myself so much. Beat myself up so much that it's like, like you said. Damn, man.
00:11:35
Speaker 2: Do you make it your fault on those days when she's kind of... Because I know we tend to do that sometimes.
00:11:42
Speaker 1: Most of us do.
00:11:43
Speaker 2: Like, oh, you're having a bad day. I must have something to do with that. And it's like, or not.
00:11:48
Speaker 6: No, no. I'm probably... Yeah, because I think our stuff is a little bit more obvious. He's not waking up wondering, why is she upset?
00:11:56
Speaker 3: I'm not going to wonder. He knows why she's mad. He knows why. She just hit me in the jaw.
00:12:01
Speaker 2: He knows exactly what's going on.
00:12:04
Speaker 3: I know why she's mad.
00:12:05
Speaker 2: I've had to have dental work five times in the last month and a half.
00:12:08
Speaker 6: I'm going to push that button because she just threw a dart. So we're just pushing buttons here.
00:12:12
Speaker 1: We're not throwing darts.
00:12:13
Speaker 6: But no, I think after coming back, we have. navigated our relationship very differently and the kids see it, which is.
00:12:20
Speaker 1: Why they're loving Dr.
00:12:21
Speaker 6: Ish right now.
00:12:22
Speaker 1: Very nice.
00:12:22
Speaker 3: I love that.
00:12:23
Speaker 6: They're loving it because they're like, wow, man, you guys came back and it's a little different. And I don't, like you said earlier, even if you argued four times in a week, it depends on what you're arguing about. Are you arguing about the fourth time that another girl's in the DM? Or are you arguing about the fourth time that you're trying to teach someone to unlearn something they've learned their whole life?
00:12:45
Speaker 2: It matters to what you're doing with these arguments. Like, are they leading to, are you really hearing what she's saying?
00:12:53
Speaker 3: Right.
00:12:53
Speaker 2: And then making a change and going, okay, you, whether I felt that way or not, that's how it made you feel.
00:13:01
Speaker 3: So I want to change that.
00:13:04
Speaker 2: Like, I think people make the mistake of thinking that if they apologize, that they're admitting guilt. Right. yep saying you're sorry doesn't mean that you did something wrong but you can still be sorry for hurting someone that you love correct yeah oh my god i'm so sorry that you got so hurt that i did that that was not my intention i never there was nothing malicious about it i would never in a million years want to do that but i fucking love you and i'm so sorry that your feelings and for you to hear that yeah then you go okay, cool.
00:13:38
Speaker 6: Like now, there's acknowledgement. Right.
00:13:40
Speaker 4: Now let's talk. That's what I feel like it is a lot of the time with women. Like, we're annoyed and we're angry in the argument because you're not like, You're not acknowledging why we're mad. A lot of time you're trying to just defend your behavior.
00:13:53
Speaker 5: Trying to win.
00:13:53
Speaker 3: Exactly.
00:13:54
Speaker 5: You're trying to win in a no-win situation.
00:13:56
Speaker 2: Everybody gets caught up in this thing of who's right and who's wrong.
00:14:00
Speaker 5: Just acknowledge what I'm trying to tell you.
00:14:01
Speaker 3: It's two people.
00:14:02
Speaker 6: That's right.
00:14:02
Speaker 3: Exactly. I always tell people, it's perspectives on everything.
00:14:06
Speaker 6: If we're a team, then we're at a disagreement. We can't get on the court like that.
00:14:10
Speaker 5: We don't know the play.
00:14:13
Speaker 6: We don't know the play.
00:14:14
Speaker 1: Or I'm going to sabotage the play.
00:14:17
Speaker 6: Right now, it's only her and I. Even though we have all these children, we know that they're going to grow and create their own families. They're going to go on to do their thing. At the end of the day, it's always going to be her and I. There's things that you and I.
00:14:32
Speaker 3: Will talk about.
00:14:33
Speaker 2: Literally, it's going to be just the two of you because the kids are going to grow up and they're going to be adults and move on. And it's going to be you two sitting in the house afterwards going, okay, job done.
00:14:42
Speaker 3: Now what?
00:14:43
Speaker 5: Now what?
00:14:46
Speaker 2: Are we healthy or do we hate each other at this point? And now that the kids are out, we can go.
00:14:52
Speaker 6: So what are we doing?
00:14:52
Speaker 5: That's why it's important for us to keep.
00:14:55
Speaker 4: Our relationship fresh and fun and be together and still date Because I don't want to look at him in 18 years and be like, hey.
00:15:02
Speaker 1: Who are you?
00:15:03
Speaker 5: Do we have anything in common anymore?
00:15:05
Speaker 1: Stranger. And you got to keep fighting.
00:15:06
Speaker 2: You want to be able to look at each other and have a conversation every single time.
00:15:11
Speaker 6: Yeah.
00:15:12
Speaker 5: Let's keep going.
00:15:13
Speaker 3: We only have five minutes, but let's get into some real shit. Yeah. Right now. Let's make this five minutes worth it.
00:15:19
Speaker 1: And it sounds weird to say, but you got to keep fighting.
00:15:22
Speaker 3: Oh, you have to.
00:15:23
Speaker 1: And you've got to say the rest of the sentence, right? We didn't have a fight. we were fighting for each other. That's what we're fighting for. Because the day you guys stop fighting with each other is the day you stop fighting for each other.
00:15:35
Speaker 2: It's so easy when shit gets hard, though, to go, I'm fucking done.
00:15:41
Speaker 3: I'm out. Go fuck yourself. I'm good.
00:15:44
Speaker 6: I don't need this shit.
00:15:46
Speaker 3: That doesn't lead to anything good.
00:15:47
Speaker 5: You need that shit more than.
00:15:49
Speaker 3: You think, buddy.
00:15:50
Speaker 2: They call it the road less traveled because it's a harder road. Exactly.
00:15:55
Speaker 3: It's less traveled for a reason. It's hard to wake up. When you're, when you.
00:15:58
Speaker 2: Stay on it, the payoff at the end of that compared to the world that everybody's on is like, you have the sunset and the view and like, it's, it's sky's the limit, whatever the fuck you want, but you have to be willing to just fight it out.
00:16:13
Speaker 3: Like you gotta be man enough to go. I can, I can make it through those.
00:16:17
Speaker 6: Also, what example are you going to set? Not just for your children, but for other men, Because we inspire each other. I've seen many guys dress and I'm like, damn, fucking outfit looks amazing, right? He's inspiring me to go do some shit like that. He doesn't even know it.
00:16:32
Speaker 2: Right.
00:16:33
Speaker 6: But it was his form of creativity, of expression that gave me the inspiration. Right? Yeah. So therefore, when you're telling your truths, people who are scared to come out of the woodworks, you might give them the strength.
00:16:46
Speaker 3: You know what?
00:16:46
Speaker 6: I'm going through that same shit too.
00:16:49
Speaker 2: Right.
00:16:50
Speaker 3: It's their light bulb moments for people.
00:16:52
Speaker 2: You never know what they are, but you hear something from anybody, from a fucking gas station attendant, you hear something, you go, oh my God, that's the thing that I needed to connect all the dots. And I've done that with the simplest shit. People will tell me shit sometimes where I'm like, fucking key to the universe.
00:17:11
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh my God, where has this been all my life? God damn it, it's so easy, you know?
00:17:18
Speaker 2: And the more you guys talk and you connect, the more you realize that life is so much fucking easier than we make it.
00:17:27
Speaker 6: Especially when you cancel out the outside noise, like you said.
00:17:30
Speaker 3: Cut it.
00:17:31
Speaker 6: We're not on our social media accounts. We have a management company that's handling that. So whatever y'all say, good or bad, is going to have to go through someone.
00:17:40
Speaker 3: And I'm not going to read it. Don't read the comments. Even if I did, I don't care.
00:17:44
Speaker 1: Don't read the comments.
00:17:45
Speaker 3: Mute the comments. Do not.
00:17:47
Speaker 1: Just make an agreement to not.
00:17:48
Speaker 6: Because we understand that people rather tear people down than build them up. We understand that, right?
00:17:53
Speaker 3: Because it's easier.
00:17:54
Speaker 6: So why would I allow you to affect me with something that I already understand?
00:17:57
Speaker 3: It's easier, man.
00:17:58
Speaker 2: You got like, 90% of the people that are commenting are trying to drag you down to the level that they're at. The good people are the ones that either leave comments where you go, man, thank you for acknowledging that. That's amazing. Or they don't fucking comment at all. They just read it just to get information. But it's always... They play the neutral. Yeah, it's always the dude sitting at home whose life is way fucking out of whack that's like, I want to judge you for all your shit. Exactly.
00:18:27
Speaker 6: Throughout every single picture, but you're not a fan.
00:18:29
Speaker 1: And it's so easy. We all get sucked into it.
00:18:31
Speaker 3: Why are you even following me? I don't understand.
00:18:33
Speaker 6: That's the point.
00:18:34
Speaker 2: If you hate me so much, why are you on my page every single day commenting?
00:18:38
Speaker 6: Listen, let me make it clear. I don't have millions. I only have 90,000 followers, but I'm willing to turn it in now.
00:18:44
Speaker 3: Dude, 90,000 is a lot of fucking people.
00:18:45
Speaker 6: You know what I mean? Because the attention that we get now with the numbers we have, I can only imagine once it gets into the millions. So I don't want that. We don't need that outside noise. We're working for each other. We're working towards a goal. And we got so much shit going on. So much good stuff going on.
00:19:00
Speaker 1: You can't let people with nothing talk you out of having something.
00:19:03
Speaker 6: We got to execute our plan. That's just what it is, man. We have to execute our plan.
00:19:07
Speaker 3: Got to keep your eye on the ball. And as long as we.
00:19:09
Speaker 6: Stay in contact and we're understanding each other's language, because that's what it is. How do I speak to you about certain things? How do you speak to me about certain things? You know I don't like authority. Don't come up to me what I need to do.
00:19:19
Speaker 4: Right.
00:19:20
Speaker 6: You're going to get more.
00:19:21
Speaker 3: Just phrase it in a different way.
00:19:23
Speaker 5: Yeah, you have to.
00:19:23
Speaker 4: If I were you, I would do this.
00:19:28
Speaker 1: That was a big challenge.
00:19:29
Speaker 5: The craziest thing.
00:19:29
Speaker 1: That was a big challenge when he came through the door. Because I'm like, he's that guy, right? He's that dude.
00:19:35
Speaker 2: How am I going to frame this where he doesn't feel like I'm attacking him?
00:19:37
Speaker 1: How do I frame this up to keep him in the boat long enough so he can see something there? And it was a challenge for me. Because it wasn't just him, there was a lot of guys in the room who were just like that. And so now I've got to adjust the approach a little bit to figure out how do I keep Michael in this room long enough for him to figure out if I stay, there might be a way for me to feel better walking out of here. That was a challenge, man.
00:20:04
Speaker 6: I felt like when I relaxed too, I don't know if Dr. Ish peeped it, but I felt like the guys relaxed as well. I honestly felt like everybody was just on edge. Everybody was like, we're going to see.
00:20:14
Speaker 1: It's a whole new thing we were doing.
00:20:16
Speaker 6: I'm telling you, man.
00:20:16
Speaker 3: It's a whole new language you're learning.
00:20:18
Speaker 6: We were talking an unspoken language. We were talking an unspoken language. We're all looking at each other. We're all sizing each other up. We just did. It's a prison thing. But then after we realized no one's a threat. No one's after anybody. Everyone's just trying to better themselves. That was when he said he came in. Everything's smooth. Everything is like everyone's. Putting the knives away and the shanks away.
00:20:40
Speaker 5: The guy is just talking about the girls. We were fine. We were having a good old time. We was having a nice time.
00:20:45
Speaker 2: Right.
00:20:46
Speaker 6: But what's crazy is she comes back home and tells me, Mike, the girl said that every other man was doing the same thing.
00:20:52
Speaker 3: Ninja rolling. I'm like, there you go.
00:20:54
Speaker 1: Look at that.
00:20:55
Speaker 5: Crazy. Preparing for battle.
00:20:57
Speaker 3: Preparing for battle. Right.
00:20:58
Speaker 1: Preparing for battle. But this was a different, it's a different part of battle. It's emotional labor. No one prepared for that.
00:21:05
Speaker 5: You didn't prepare for that emotional labor part.
00:21:17
Speaker 2: Kudos to you, like stepping into that world with that many people and like standing your ground for the purpose of positively affecting people. That is, I give you so much credit for that because that's.
00:21:32
Speaker 3: A big one.
00:21:33
Speaker 2: And what you guys are doing now, doing the show and then just sitting here and talking to me now is doing that.
00:21:39
Speaker 3: It's like you are putting yourselves out there a little bit.
00:21:43
Speaker 2: Hoping that somebody hears one word of it and goes, oh my God, I know how to change my life now.
00:21:49
Speaker 6: We know it's not a hope because your podcast obviously has listeners, right? So there's somebody that is listening to this or is going to listen to this, is going to say, I can take something from.
00:21:59
Speaker 3: What one of the four of them said.
00:22:01
Speaker 2: Right.
00:22:02
Speaker 6: I mean, it'd be crazy to think that someone is not going to listen to this and not be inspired by something.
00:22:07
Speaker 2: I think if we have a genuine, it's what I was saying in the beginning, like if we have a genuine conversation, how is there not stuff to take from, you sit in any room with four people talking, you're going to walk away with something that those four people said. If I'm just sitting here asking you guys questions, somebody might go, yeah, that answer was kind of cool, but you're not really getting in and getting the real essence of who somebody is compared to when we're all sitting and chopping it up like this.
00:22:36
Speaker 3: Cause our, Like I said before, our stories are different.
00:22:42
Speaker 2: But our life experiences and the emotions and the things that we're going through right now are really similar.
00:22:48
Speaker 1: Similar.
00:22:49
Speaker 3: They're really similar.
00:22:50
Speaker 1: The same bad things happen to all of us.
00:22:51
Speaker 3: We all have insecurities. We all have like, we judge ourselves.
00:22:55
Speaker 2: We all have an issue with being honest and opening up and feel scared and do it.
00:23:02
Speaker 3: All of us do.
00:23:02
Speaker 6: That's right.
00:23:03
Speaker 2: We might have different things that led us to that. But we all have it. So, like, why not all sit together?
00:23:11
Speaker 6: Figure this shit out.
00:23:12
Speaker 1: Figure this shit out, man. The same kinds of bad things happen to all of us, you know?
00:23:16
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:23:17
Speaker 1: And we take the same meaning from it. Everybody suffers from not enough-itis. All right?
00:23:22
Speaker 3: Not enough-itis.
00:23:23
Speaker 1: We all do. We all do.
00:23:25
Speaker 6: Yeah.
00:23:25
Speaker 1: And especially coming from being impacted by justice, one of the hard things to believe is, is it second chance possible? Do I... Do I believe in it? Is that for me? But if you're going to believe in second chances, you first got to give yourself one. Here's something a lot of folks don't realize. If you're talking about relationships and marriage, 64% of the folks who are happily with somebody now found that person after their first marriage.
00:23:53
Speaker 5: Yeah, that happened to me.
00:23:53
Speaker 1: Really?
00:23:54
Speaker 3: Really.
00:23:55
Speaker 1: Look at that.
00:23:55
Speaker 3: And why is that?
00:23:56
Speaker 1: Second chances, because you learn on the first ride.
00:23:59
Speaker 2: It's so fitting that you're on a show called I Do Part Two.
00:24:03
Speaker 3: You got it. It's like people, yeah. Think about that number, right? It makes sense, though. You go in, you go, I'm not doing that again. A relationship is a mirror.
00:24:13
Speaker 1: You walk in and every morning they are holding up the Brian mirror.
00:24:16
Speaker 3: It's fully lighted.
00:24:17
Speaker 1: And they're like, this is you. What are you going to do about it? So it takes a first go around to really learn how to do that. Yeah, we're going to take it personal. It's going to sting. But can I adjust? But by the second go around, you're like, okay, I kind of think I know how this works. And I'm taking it less personally.
00:24:33
Speaker 6: I mean, and think about it, right? If you heard a relationship, oh, we've been together 30 years.
00:24:37
Speaker 3: Oh, yeah?
00:24:38
Speaker 6: It's been great. All 30 years?
00:24:43
Speaker 2: What's really wrong with you guys?
00:24:46
Speaker 6: How did you get to the 30? Well, I'm going to tell you how. The first 10 was hell.
00:24:49
Speaker 3: Right.
00:24:50
Speaker 1: Exactly.
00:24:50
Speaker 3: If they're being honest.
00:24:52
Speaker 6: The second 10, we kind of got it together.
00:24:54
Speaker 3: These 10, we've been living.
00:24:55
Speaker 1: Right.
00:24:56
Speaker 6: That is the truth.
00:24:57
Speaker 1: It's growth.
00:24:58
Speaker 6: You're not going to hear someone say that they've been together with someone for that amount of time.
00:25:02
Speaker 2: Right.
00:25:03
Speaker 6: And it's just been great.
00:25:04
Speaker 2: No.
00:25:04
Speaker 4: Because marriage is about finding somebody you want to go through the hard times with.
00:25:08
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a fucking long haul.
00:25:10
Speaker 5: It's a partner through all of it. Exactly.
00:25:12
Speaker 1: And learning how to fall in and out of love because that's what you're doing over and over and over again.
00:25:16
Speaker 3: Exactly.
00:25:17
Speaker 6: Right now I'm experiencing the loss of my sister. Again, I'm so sorry to hear that.
00:25:22
Speaker 3: And you're pregnant?
00:25:23
Speaker 6: No, she's present.
00:25:24
Speaker 5: Let's not put those women out there.
00:25:26
Speaker 3: Wait a second. I've had enough babies. Mormon wives, what the fuck is going on here?
00:25:31
Speaker 1: Goddamn.
00:25:31
Speaker 5: No, I'm for a rest.
00:25:32
Speaker 3: That's amazing.
00:25:34
Speaker 6: I'm going through this experience with her. And I wouldn't have wanted it with anyone else, to be honest. She's a cancer. She's in touch with her feelings. This is the person to vent.
00:25:44
Speaker 3: We're cancers as well.
00:25:45
Speaker 1: Same, same.
00:25:46
Speaker 3: July 15th. June 28th.
00:25:47
Speaker 1: June 24th.
00:25:50
Speaker 3: Okay, guys. Bam, bam, bam. Yeah, exactly. I'm a Gemini.
00:25:55
Speaker 1: I'm just going.
00:25:57
Speaker 3: To say Gemini. I'm not even into astrology, but I was just looking. I was like, you're a.
00:26:03
Speaker 1: Gemini, man.
00:26:04
Speaker 3: When's your birthday?
00:26:05
Speaker 6: May 22nd. I'm on the cusp, man. A little bit of Taurus, a little bit of Gemini.
00:26:11
Speaker 3: So my fiance is right on the cusp of Gemini cancer. She's the 21st of June.
00:26:15
Speaker 1: I have one of those.
00:26:17
Speaker 5: I have one of those at home.
00:26:18
Speaker 3: So she can easily... Go either way.
00:26:21
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:26:22
Speaker 2: I prefer when she's majority cancer because it just feels better.
00:26:26
Speaker 5: Me too. We love cancer so much.
00:26:29
Speaker 4: We had our babies just under a year apart, and they're both cancers. So we have Millian. His birthday is July 1st. July 4th in Manhattan is July 7th.
00:26:39
Speaker 2: Wow. So cool.
00:26:40
Speaker 4: We are some cancer-driven people over at that house.
00:26:43
Speaker 3: I get it, man. We're emotional, right?
00:26:46
Speaker 1: And we like to sit with them for a while, you know?
00:26:48
Speaker 2: We do.
00:26:49
Speaker 1: Thank you, guys.
00:26:50
Speaker 2: See?
00:26:51
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:26:51
Speaker 5: We like to sit with him for a while, Mike.
00:26:53
Speaker 3: We just like to chop it up every once.
00:26:55
Speaker 2: In a while.
00:26:56
Speaker 1: That's all it is.
00:26:56
Speaker 3: We need that.
00:26:57
Speaker 2: We need that.
00:26:57
Speaker 6: It doesn't seem like I'm telling you to be emotional. What I'm saying is the way you process emotions and I was processing emotions were very different because of our circumstances. Of course. That's all I was saying, you know?
00:27:08
Speaker 2: Of course.
00:27:09
Speaker 6: But you being a cancer heightens that emotion. Which is why you can navigate it way much easier.
00:27:14
Speaker 4: That was something that we were talking about on the first episode was how like you're very tough and that's just not necessarily who I am or to the capacity in which you are.
00:27:25
Speaker 5: But, you know, I just feel like we've been through different things.
00:27:28
Speaker 4: There's places that I'm extremely strong at and I think that that came out during the second episode where I'm bringing you across the line. Those are my strengths. I'm emotionally strong. I'm mentally strong. Like, you know, I bring different things to the table and that's what, you know, makes us good.
00:27:44
Speaker 6: I agree.
00:27:45
Speaker 2: I think astrology is interesting because you hear a sign and you go, oh, that's who you're supposed to be. But then your childhood and your life makes you something completely different than what was supposed to be.
00:27:57
Speaker 6: But that's why when you do things that are closer to that, to the sign, it feels good.
00:28:06
Speaker 3: Because it just works. You're not going against the grain.
00:28:09
Speaker 6: The planet of intelligence. So every time I'm learning something, it's like I'm getting high.
00:28:12
Speaker 3: You feel home.
00:28:14
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:28:14
Speaker 6: Learning something.
00:28:15
Speaker 3: I'm always listening.
00:28:16
Speaker 1: I'm always.
00:28:17
Speaker 6: For her, anyone that needs to dump emotions, she's there to talk. Yeah, she can process those.
00:28:25
Speaker 3: Me, I'm like.
00:28:26
Speaker 6: Wait, I can't process my emotion. You think I got time to process yours?
00:28:30
Speaker 2: Right.
00:28:30
Speaker 3: Holy shit. But that's why we have me at the house.
00:28:32
Speaker 5: I take them all in here.
00:28:34
Speaker 3: Here we go.
00:28:35
Speaker 2: It's why you guys compliment each other. He can stand for the parts of you that you don't have. He can be strong and make those choices. And then you can keep him grounded emotionally and be.
00:28:47
Speaker 6: Like, just put a check on your emotions.
00:28:49
Speaker 3: Let me give you guys a little.
00:28:50
Speaker 6: One real quick. When she first had Maddie, I was already kind of worried about the parenting because now this is when we share. I'm not going to tell your boys how I would tell my boys. You know what I mean? But these two, we got to go 50-50 for real, right? In the beginning, she's like, well, you know, we can't be too loud. I'm like, man, trust me. You're talking out your ass right now. You'll see what having a dad around does. Now, it's Maddie, Mike, and.
00:29:21
Speaker 1: My daughter's dad.
00:29:22
Speaker 6: And I'm like, there it is. There's the balance.
00:29:24
Speaker 1: You see?
00:29:25
Speaker 6: You said it three times, but you said my name and she's doing it now. So let me be that guy.
00:29:29
Speaker 3: You be the one that... Let me be the bad guy. I'll wear it. I'll be fine with it.
00:29:33
Speaker 6: But I'll tell you one thing. That child will learn how to respect you on the level that he sees me respect you.
00:29:38
Speaker 1: Of course.
00:29:39
Speaker 2: My son. as a parent, man, I always take the stance of like, you guys are going to have friends your entire lives. My job isn't to be your friend. My job is to be your one and only dad. So I'm going to call you on shit. I'm going to be fucking honest about things. I'm going to be tougher on you at certain points when you need it.
00:29:56
Speaker 3: That's my job.
00:29:58
Speaker 2: I'm doing you guys a disservice.
00:30:00
Speaker 1: If I don't do that. And throw them a parade when they earned it.
00:30:02
Speaker 3: Exactly.
00:30:13
Speaker 2: Parenting's a lot, isn't it? Like it's a, to navigate it. It's really, I was having this conversation with someone before. Like, I think it's, I think it's a real fine line of like, um, wanting to keep your kids from getting hurt without robbing them of the experience that they're supposed to have. of getting hurt a certain way that is going to keep them from never doing that again.
00:30:38
Speaker 1: To help them build a fine line.
00:30:38
Speaker 2: If you fall off something and you scrape your knee, you're not going to get up on something like that anymore and scrape your knee again. If I, as soon as you get up on the table, I'm like, get off the table. You could fall and hurt yourself. It's like, man, I'm robbing you. Right.
00:30:49
Speaker 6: I'm busting your ass real quick.
00:30:51
Speaker 2: Right.
00:30:52
Speaker 3: Except as a parent, like, I don't want to see you get hurt.
00:30:54
Speaker 2: But at the same time, it's like, man, I've got to, if I look back on my life and I learned from all the failures, not the successes of any of it, I don't want to rob you of failing because you're going to learn so much.
00:31:07
Speaker 6: Failure has made me who I am. So to think that you're going to take a kid and make sure they have no failures or whatever, it's impossible. What we're learning now, because my daughter is going to be 20, her daughter is 21, our sons are going to be 18, right? What we're learning is it really doesn't matter what you did for the last 21 years. Because whatever she decides to do from here on, if she wants to take the tools that you've given her and apply, you'll see that. But if she wants to be influenced and wants to know it all and do whatever they want, you can't tell yourself you failed because you got them to where they were old enough to take the torch and keep going. They decided not to. At that point, you can't look at me and you're saying, Mike, your son's again, 25, in the news. That's his fucking problem.
00:31:53
Speaker 3: Right, that's on him. He's supposed to be in the news. He's supposed to go through this.
00:31:58
Speaker 2: Can we just get into a quick note of where people can find the show, where they can find you guys?
00:32:07
Speaker 3: I think that's invaluable for people.
00:32:09
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:32:10
Speaker 1: Listen, so Love After Lockup, Relationship Rehab, streaming now on AllReality.com. And new episodes every Friday night at WeTV.
00:32:18
Speaker 3: Every Friday night.
00:32:19
Speaker 6: Every Friday night, man.
00:32:20
Speaker 3: And how about you? You guys have tons of things going on.
00:32:23
Speaker 2: Do you have social media stuff that you want to.
00:32:26
Speaker 6: Yeah, we have social media and stuff like that, but we do have a lot going on. We have tons of stuff going on. I think 2027 is going to be... I think everyone's going to be amazed at what we pulled off. That's all I'm.
00:32:37
Speaker 3: Going to say.
00:32:37
Speaker 5: I think people are going to just look back and be like, wow, I can't even believe that this started out as.
00:32:43
Speaker 4: One crazy girl who found, you know, love behind bars. Like, look what they are doing now and look what their family is doing. So I think everyone's going to be very happy and surprised to.
00:32:52
Speaker 5: See what we have next.
00:32:53
Speaker 1: Definitely.
00:32:53
Speaker 6: Very nice.
00:32:54
Speaker 1: That's amazing.
00:32:55
Speaker 2: That's really, thank you guys for having this conversation.
00:32:57
Speaker 6: Thank you so much for having us.
00:32:58
Speaker 5: Thank you so much for having us.
00:32:59
Speaker 3: I think that like this, this.
00:33:01
Speaker 2: Can do so much good for so many people just hearing something, you know, a conversation as simple as this one.
00:33:06
Speaker 1: Human, we're all allowed those moments of humanity, man. You know, you can find me under my name, Dr. Ish Major, or if you just go to Google and type in help me my name comes.
00:33:15
Speaker 3: Up i need.
00:33:23
Speaker 2: Help you come on cup of tea right i tell you off your teeth.
00:33:28
Speaker 1: I'm just i kept saying it over and over again i'm just so proud of these guys the work thank you the courage it took to come through and show up as somebody different a different version of yourself a to share things that, some of the things that were just unspeakable, to say, hey, I'm bigger than the worst decision I've ever made, right? And I can put some of these hard things in the rear view and look forward to something else, right? We all deserve that. And so I just, the magic in this show is you guys.
00:33:59
Speaker 6: Thank you.
00:33:59
Speaker 5: Thank you so much.
00:34:00
Speaker 3: Because you guys come in Be proud of yourself, though, too.
00:34:03
Speaker 2: Because it takes someone to come in and really want to make a difference. It's easy to show up and be like, oh, this is the show. And so I just do this. And I ask the questions and the stuff. And then never talk again afterwards. And don't really care. Don't really care for updates.
00:34:20
Speaker 1: And Mike was a barometer. I was like, you know what? If I walk in the room and this guy thinks I'm full of shit, we're done.
00:34:26
Speaker 3: We're done.
00:34:26
Speaker 2: We're done.
00:34:27
Speaker 1: So I got to keep it all the way real. All the way real.
00:34:31
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:34:32
Speaker 3: I love that. I love that you guys like have that connection. It's amazing.
00:34:36
Speaker 4: Yes.
00:34:37
Speaker 3: Um, thank, thank you to everyone.
00:34:39
Speaker 2: For listening to another episode of I do part two where we're here to help. So reach out to us in, in any way you can, whether it's email, whether there's, I think there are phone numbers and things that we put up on the screen.
00:34:51
Speaker 3: Um, reach out. We're, we're, we're here to help.
00:34:54
Speaker 2: And, uh, We really are here for the goal of part two being way better than part one ever was.
00:35:01
Speaker 6: I don't want to say anyone dealing with like suicide or they dealing with anything like that. Reach out, man. Speak to someone. You're not alone. You're not alone. You may think you're alone. And just even if you have to call a hotline, just talk to somebody. Because I think people don't see the effect it has after the action. And I think that's what her and I are going to highlight because we're definitely going to, like my sister's death is not in vain. Like I'm going to make sure that it makes a difference, you know? So yeah, that's all I want to say.
00:35:33
Speaker 2: That's that silver lining we were talking about. You look back on every horrible situation. You don't know when, how long it's going to take. Could be a week, month, year, 10 years. But you look back on it and you go, man, what a catalyst that was.
00:35:46
Speaker 3: Yes.
00:35:47
Speaker 2: You know, I grew up with John Walsh, whose son Adam Walsh, Uh, they, they found him, he had been like beheaded and he was young and John Walsh ended up starting America's most wanted and doing that. And that's right. You never know what the catalyst is, you know, but the fact that you like now have this fire and this burn of like really reaching out to people and going, Hey, I like, I've, I've been there.
00:36:14
Speaker 3: I know other people that have been there reach out. Like, I want to help. That's, that's amazing. That's invaluable. That's I applaud that.
00:36:21
Speaker 6: Definitely.
00:36:22
Speaker 2: Thank you. Truly.
