MIT Longevity Expert: Do These 3 Things Now to Stay Young, Live Longer, & Keep Your Freedom

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Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel
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Robbins Podcast. You and your loved ones are probably going
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to live a lot longer than you think. But right
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now there's so much noise about longevity, biohacking, anti-aging, reversing this,
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optimizing that, but can we be honest with each other?
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Would you want to live to 100 if you are
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in horrible health? If it's painful to just get through
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the day, of course not. That's why today's conversation with
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an extraordinary expert from MIT, it's not about adding more
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years to your life. It's about adding more life to
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your years. We're going to talk today about whether your
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life as you age stays big and exciting and fulfilling
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and meaningful, or your life starts to shrink. We're also
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going to talk about what to do when you have
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people in your life, your parents, grandparents, loved ones, and
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you see their quality of life getting worse. Our extraordinary
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expert is Dr.
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Joseph Coughlin.
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He's the director of the MIT Age Lab, where they
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study what longer lives look like. And he is here
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in our Boston studios today to give you the simple
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shifts and all of this fascinating research that's going to
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do so much for you and your family. First of all,
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it's going to protect your freedom and your independence as
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you age.
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Because Dr.
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Coughlin says, based on the research, the choices you're making
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right now, yes, you in your 20s, In your 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s,
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they shape what the rest of your life is going
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to feel like.
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Dr.
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Coughlin also says there are three forces that quietly wear
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you down and chip away at your independence. And he
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will share what you can do to make sure that
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they don't. He's also got amazing research-backed advice for caregivers.
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I'm talking children of aging parents. and grandparents, and the
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things that you really need to hear that are going
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to work. Very specific ways in particular that Dr. Coughlin
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wants you to think about caregiving. He's going to give
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you specific ways to approach the conversation with your family
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members that will reshape how you look at aging.
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Dr.
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Coughlin also has three questions that you must ask yourself.
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that will fundamentally change how you see and design your future.
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This is a conversation I really want you to share
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with your siblings, with your parents, with your grandparents, with
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your adult kids, with your friends. I cannot wait for
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you to experience it and meet Dr.
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Coughlin.
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Now get her that chamomile tea.
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Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel
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Robbins Podcast. I am thrilled about our conversation today. It's
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always such an honor to be together and to spend
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this time with you. And if you're a new listener
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or you're here because somebody shared this with you, this
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is one of those episodes that you will be sharing
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with people in your family. It's that important. I just
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want to take a moment and welcome you personally to
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the Mel Robbins Podcast family. Today, you and I are
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learning how to stay strong, sharp, and independent for a
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hundred years with the number one longevity expert, Dr. Joseph Coughlin,
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who founded and leads the Massachusetts Institute of Technology Age Lab,
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where he and his extraordinary team of researchers study how
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longer lives are transforming the way people work, retire, plan,
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and live. And he's here to tell you, based on
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the research, what it takes to prepare for a hundred good, juicy,
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awesome years, because you deserve that.
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Dr.
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Coughlin is a researcher, a professor in MIT's Department of
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Urban Studies and Planning, and an advisor to major corporations
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and institutions around the world. He has advised the World
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Economic Forum, and he has also served on the advisory
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committees for the U.S. government and multiple federal agencies and
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sitting presidents. The Wall Street Journal named him one of
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America's 12 pioneers inventing the future of retirement and aging,
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and if you thought that was enough, Dr.
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Coughlin has also.
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Authored over 250 academic publications on aging, longevity, and demographic change,
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and the best-selling book, The Longevity Economy. So please help
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me welcome Dr. Joseph Coughlin to the Mel Robbins Podcast.
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It's great to be here, Mel. Thanks for having me.
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I am so thrilled that you took time out of
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your busy lab over at MIT to come here today.
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And I am excited about your research. I would love
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to have you begin by speaking directly to the person
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who's listening or watching right now. And tell me, what
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could be different about my life if I take everything
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to heart? that you're about to share, and I apply
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it to my own life, and I really apply it
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to the people in my life that are getting older.
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What could be different? The big difference is that if
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you're prepared, if you can envision what you think that
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future's going to be, and please, it's not going to
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be all about beach walks and pickleball and maybe even grandchildren.
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Those will be good punctuated moments, but hopefully the things
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that we're doing with my team at the MIT Age
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Lab and the conversation that we'll have is about being
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prepared for the little moments, the things that make you smile,
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the ability to stay in the home that you love
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and want to be with, the ability to provide care.
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It's about building capacity to live your best life.
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I know this is going to be one of those
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conversations where if you are older, you're going to feel seen.
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If you are in a caregiving role, you're going to
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feel supported and you're going to be given very specific
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things that you can do. And you have a real
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gift in terms of the way that you teach. And
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you have a way of making this topic that's hard
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to talk about and understand in some ways easier and
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more fun to think about.
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But you do it in a way that's very, very practical.
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And so I think one of the things that people
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are going to get out of this conversation is a
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whole new way to think about the people that they
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love and to think about the role that you have
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to play in your own life and aging. and in
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supporting others as they do.
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And Mel, I want everyone to give themselves a break.
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And what I mean by that is that not being
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prepared for old age is not an indictment. It's not like,
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oh my God, I didn't do my plan. Old age
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is quite new in the context that we're living, how
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long we're living, the expectations, multiple generations alive at the
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same time. If you're caring for a loved one today,
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if you're aging or you're planning to age, this is
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an entirely new world without a map.
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So Dr.
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Coughlin, especially given the work that you do at the
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MIT Age Lab, how do you want us to think
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about age?
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I want you to think about aging as an amazing
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gift of time. So I want you to imagine zero, birth,
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to 21 years old. Let's just make it easy for
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a lot of people, drinking age. From zero to 21...
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is about 8,000 days. You know, be generous with the math,
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but it's about 8,000 days. From 21 to midlife crisis,
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classically 46, 47 years old, 8,000 days. And from 46
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to 47 to that Newtonian law of physics of retirement, 65.
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is 8,000 days. But most people don't know that the
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fastest growing part of the population worldwide, by the way,
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is 85 plus. And 65 to 85 and change is 8,000 days.
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So if I take zero to 21, I'll just call
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it gently, push it off to the side, call it childhood,
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or if you're a parent, expensive, you cross off to
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the side. All of a sudden, retirement is not this
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short period of trip with the grandchildren to Disney. It's
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one third of your adult life. It's a full 8,000 days.
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I love that 8,000 day framework because when you think
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about your own life, especially looking backwards, you can see
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whether you're going zero to 21 or 21 to 46
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or 46 to 65 or 65, you know, to 80, whatever.
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There are so many different versions of you in each
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one of those 8,000 day segments of your life. And
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we do, especially as you get older, just kind of think, oh, Well,
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now you're just in that bracket. And I think it's
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very hopeful and exciting to recognize that whether you are
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in the zero to 21 or 21 to 45 or
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45 to 65 or 65 to 80 or 80 and up,
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that you have all of these different slices of life
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and future versions of yourself that you are going to
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get to experience. And a lot of what we're going
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to learn today from you will fundamentally shift your your
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mind and perspective about those future versions of you that
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will experience a decline in capacity potentially as you age.
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And that notion of future you, Mel, what you and
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I will be able to do is to put questions
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in people's minds to help them navigate basically an entirely
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unknown land. There's really no map for that older age
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other than, you know, did you save enough money and
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are you going to take a cruise ship? Life is
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far more complicated than that overall. And those questions will
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start conversations.
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You say there are three questions every one of us
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needs to ask ourselves when it comes to how we
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think about aging.
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The three questions, not necessarily in this order. The first
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one is, how are you going to get an ice
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cream cone? Sounds really silly, but it's got a number
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of dimensions to it. When we plan for older age,
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we tend to think about what do we want to
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do in older age? Well, I'm going to travel, spend
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time with family. There's so much to do around the house,
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I'll never get bored. Mel, do you remember COVID? We
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found something out about COVID. Except for the travel part,
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we found out that, A, all those hobbies you thought
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that were going to keep you busy and painting the
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spare bedroom three times was going to keep you busy
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for a lifetime got boring real fast. And secondly, we
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found that our significant other got tired of seeing us
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significantly 24-7. And so the first question is, how are
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you going to get a nice cream cone? Do you
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know the little things that make you smile? Not that
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we're going to take the kids to Disney. Not that,
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you know, we're going to maybe, if you're one of
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those folks, to downsize those big monumental moments. Longer life
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or life at any stage is about the little moments.
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And so do you know the little things that make
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you smile? So for me, I want you to imagine
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it's a hot summer night. I want a soft serve.
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I want a spiral. I want a chocolate and vanilla.
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The other side of that question is not do you
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know the little things that make you smile, but do
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you have access to them? 70% of Americans over the
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age of 50 live where if you don't drive, you
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don't get out. And an ice cream cone is one
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of those things on a hot summer night you want
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at the spur of the moment. You don't book a ride.
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You don't bother an adult daughter. You may not call
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up a neighbor. You just want it. The peepers are out.
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It's a hot summer night. You want it now. So
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do you know how you're going to get an ice
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cream cone? Second thing. What are you going to do
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on any given Tuesday at 10.30? Sounds really crazy, right?
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But when we think about retirement planning, old age planning,
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we think about the big things that we're going to do.
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I've got so much I'm going to do. But you know,
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believe it or not, research, imagine somebody got money for this,
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did research and found out that Tuesday apparently is the
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most boring day of the year. Look, most of us
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don't want to have breakfast with anyone. Just give me
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my coffee and leave me alone. The bottom line is,
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is that by 10.30 in the morning, All of a sudden,
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you now need to structure your life, whether it was work, family, children. Frankly,
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if you're no longer a caregiver, you had structure. You
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had things to do. Now at 1030 on Tuesday, the
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average couple over age 65 watches upwards of four to
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five hours of TV per day.
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Oh, wow.
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So that notion that we're all going to be cruising
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and doing all this fun stuff, again, not totally incorrect,
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but there's a lot of Tuesdays out there. Third question,
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if you will, who's going to change your light bulbs? Sounds, again,
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really silly. But I want you to start making a list.
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And I want that person who's listening to me right now,
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start making a list of all the things that you
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take for granted, that you do every day, maybe for yourself,
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for your spouse, your partner, or for a loved one.
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Taking out the trash, making a meal, changing a light bulb.
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And look, as a guy, I do have to confess,
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That I do want to climb the ladder and change
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the light bulb. I am likely to fall and break
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my hip because my wife's going to be at the
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base of the ladder saying, you're going to fall and
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break your hip. And that will be the thing that
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takes me down. But here's the thing I want you
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to think about. Because when things break, you need redundancy.
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So that person that's going to change your light bulbs,
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it's not just whether you have the money to do that.
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In fact, in many ways, that's the easy part. Do
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you have someone that you trust? Someone that would go
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into your mother's home? She's 85 years old, cognitively not
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as sharp as she used to be. You can write
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the check, perhaps. Do you have somebody you trust to
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go in there by themselves? Is somebody your mother's going
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to accept? Do you have somebody who's going to check on?
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If you don't call home or call a friend, who's
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going to call back to make sure everything's okay? I'll
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throw one other in there and we can talk about this.
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Who are you going to have lunch with? And that
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is the social question. That is the The question about
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how big is your social, we'll make it geeky, social network. Frankly,
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how many friends do you have? And how well those
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friends come together is frankly, in many ways, a bigger
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predictor of how well you'll age. Some really great research
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done by Joanne Holt-Lunstad suggests that do you know that
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being lonely or social isolation has the physical health impact
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of smoking 11 to 15 cigarettes per day? So it's
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not about, oh, gee, you're lonely. It's emotional. Yeah, it's
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all that. But it's also about hypertension, depression, and everything else.
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How many friends do you need?
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Generally speaking, we only have maybe one, two. And if
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you're really wealthy, and I mean wealthy in the social sense,
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three friends. And these are the folks that have your
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back when something happens wrong at two in the morning,
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when a loved one is critically ill. They're the ones
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who support you overall. And then I added friends under
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development because as I remember a woman I was interviewing
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in Chicago said to me only a few years ago,
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I was asking her about her social connection and she
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leans over and I think she was 82. She leans
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over and she says to me, son, which if you
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look like this, being called son is a pretty cool thing.
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She goes, son, at my age, there's a natural attrition
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to friendship. You don't think about that. But over time,
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and it's not just the existential, you lose friends due
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to death or disease, but they move on. They move away.
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And many people are going to hate me for saying this,
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but grandchildren actually hurt your friendships. Because what you used
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to do on a Friday night to go out to
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have dinner or a movie is like, oh, no, I'm
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going to babysit her. I can't wait to see baby
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Joey or, you know, whatever it might be. Those are
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great things. but you need to start thinking of your
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friendships as a portfolio. Indeed, I like to call it
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a social portfolio. We worry about our wealth portfolio, but
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think about your social portfolio. How robust, how rich is
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it overall?
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I want to stay on that grandkids- really impact your
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friendships as you get older as an adult? Because one
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of the things that I've noticed just as my own
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parents are getting older, my mom is in her late seventies,
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my dad is in his early eighties, is I have
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seen the friendship attrition that you're talking about. And I've
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seen how they used to have this big group of
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people that they hung out with. And as they've gotten
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older and certainly as people have died or people have
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moved away, or people have stopped making the long drive
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down to Florida for the month in a cold winter month,
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their friend group has started to completely evaporate. What was
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once 20 couples they hung out with is now two.
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And I also hear what you're saying about how when
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your family starts to grow, which is a wonderful thing,
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whether it's with son-in-laws, daughter-in-laws, or it is with kids,
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or it is grandkids, It's a wonderful thing, but you
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tend to then focus in on prioritizing family, which is
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very important, and you forget about the importance of the
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social network that's your age that you also still need.
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So really, this older age is about time and structure
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and connection more than anything else.
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Well, that brings me to the work that you're doing
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at the MIT Age Lab that is so revolutionary and
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profound because you have created.
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A way For us to go there.
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And to not just try to imagine what it's going
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to be like, but to truly experience the impact of aging.
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I would love to hear you just explain to the
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person listening or watching right now, what is the work
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that you're doing at MIT? And you brought along what
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looks like an astronaut suit, complete with a helmet, that
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I am going to call the astronaut aging suit that
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you put people in. And it simulates what it can
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feel like to be the future you who is 90
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years old trying to go through your day-to-day life. And
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it really just hits you right.
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In the gut.
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And I think that kind of frames up best what
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the MIT Age Lab is. Look, I have the privilege
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of being here to speak with you, but the Age
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Lab is made up of 30 really gifted researchers and
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students that do the work. I get to talk about it.
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And look, while we are attentive to nutrition and exercise
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and things like that, what we really look at is
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where does design, technology, and human behavior come together to
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rethink where you're going to live? What is the future
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design of communities? What is the future of the vehicle,
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the car look like? How will you receive care? So
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we're on the physical side of doing. And so the
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lab looks at things such as what is the future
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of transportation? How do we redesign our communities? Not to
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be just friendly for aging, but to be age-ready. Caregiving.
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How do we actually provide care to loved ones? And
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how do we receive care? And much of what we
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will be speaking about, longevity planning. Not just plan for
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our financial security. How do we plan for a longer,
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better life overall? And then probably the other main area
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that we like to work on is the multi-generational workplace.
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Do you remember when... the workplace was there are younger
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workers and there were older workers? Imagine this. We now
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have not one, two, three, four, or five. We have
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upwards of six generations in the workplace, shall we say,
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generational kinetics of expectation, how we work, what we do,
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and the like in the workplace. So longer life longevity
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changes everything. And the Age Lab is about trying to
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redesign the systems to support living longer and better.
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And they also happen to have a profound impact on
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the systems in your mindset.
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Yes.
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That have you not be able to predict what it's
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going to be like for you as you age and
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to also have you not understand what the people that
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you love are going through right now as they are aging.
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And you have this astronaut aging suit.
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Agnes. Agnes. And what does Agnes stand for?
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Agnes.
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We love acronyms at MIT. So Agnes stands for the Age, Gain,
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Now Empathy System. Dr.
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Coughlin's brought his team.
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The suit is hanging outside and I'm going to try
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it on and I will narrate step by step by
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step what's happening. I will do my best to explain
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what I am feeling in real time as I am
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experiencing the MIT Age Lab simulation of the way that
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aging can compromise your capacity to move, to pick things up,
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to see, to do the simple things day to day.
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00:21:20.089 --> 00:21:23.839
And I am really excited because I think this is
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going to have a profound impact on me and you,
403
00:21:26.240 --> 00:21:27.349
whether you're listening or watching.
404
00:21:27.509 --> 00:21:30.690
And it's aging, and it's more about the health conditions
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00:21:30.730 --> 00:21:35.150
that kind of correlate with aging quite often. So diabetes, arthritis,
406
00:21:35.529 --> 00:21:38.230
diminished vision function. But Mel, one of the things I
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00:21:38.250 --> 00:21:40.650
think you're going to experience, as do my students and
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00:21:40.670 --> 00:21:44.059
the companies we work with, is the aha moment, which is, yeah,
409
00:21:44.119 --> 00:21:46.519
we interview older adults. We watch them in the wild.
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00:21:46.539 --> 00:21:48.460
We're kind of creepy. We watch in the house, the car,
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the store, home, whatever it might be. But it's when
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you wear the suit that you kind of like get it.
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00:21:54.799 --> 00:21:57.579
It's like, why is this more difficult than it should be?
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Because as a designer, as an engineer, you say, that's
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not acceptable. I can change the material. I can change
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the design. I can make it better. So just so
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you know, Mel, and for all the listeners. You may
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00:22:09.940 --> 00:22:12.910
hear some like tearing and clinking and clanging. It's going
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to be Velcro weights and some belts. So we promise
420
00:22:16.690 --> 00:22:17.549
we'll be gentle, Mel.
421
00:22:17.690 --> 00:22:18.829
But that's the sound of the.
422
00:22:18.789 --> 00:22:20.470
Suit going on. That's the sound of the suit going on.
423
00:22:20.589 --> 00:22:20.869
All right.
424
00:22:21.130 --> 00:22:24.849
So Dr. Coughlin, we're going to walk outside the studio
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where the age suit is. This is the first time
426
00:22:28.819 --> 00:22:32.640
we've ever filmed and recorded a part of the podcast
427
00:22:32.839 --> 00:22:34.160
outside of this studio.
428
00:22:34.259 --> 00:22:34.410
Oh, wow.
429
00:22:34.640 --> 00:22:37.160
So I'm super excited to experience this with you.
430
00:22:37.259 --> 00:22:37.799
Very cool.
431
00:22:37.920 --> 00:22:38.619
All right, let's go do this.
432
00:22:38.680 --> 00:22:38.880
All right.
433
00:22:40.230 --> 00:22:42.049
I see this suit. It almost looks like I'm going
434
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to go into a spaceship.
435
00:22:43.650 --> 00:22:46.289
Yeah, it looks like, well, frankly, if you think about it,
436
00:22:46.450 --> 00:22:48.910
aging is an extreme environment. It's not for wimps.
437
00:22:49.250 --> 00:22:49.549
Uh-oh.
438
00:22:49.930 --> 00:22:52.490
We're all forced into it. Okay, so I'm just going
439
00:22:52.509 --> 00:22:53.069
to put that on?
440
00:22:53.390 --> 00:22:56.069
No, you're going to wait. My colleague, Lauren Serino, here's
441
00:22:56.109 --> 00:22:58.009
going to help you. How are you?
442
00:22:58.190 --> 00:23:00.769
Well, you guys have like actual, she's wearing a jacket,
443
00:23:00.809 --> 00:23:04.430
if you're listening to this, that has the lab emblazoned
444
00:23:04.519 --> 00:23:04.720
on it.
445
00:23:04.730 --> 00:23:05.869
That's great. Okay, so here we go.
446
00:23:06.789 --> 00:23:08.690
So I'm going to start by having you take off
447
00:23:08.730 --> 00:23:09.369
your shoes.
448
00:23:09.630 --> 00:23:12.470
Okay, is the first test that I have to balance.
449
00:23:12.119 --> 00:23:13.759
Why I do this?
450
00:23:13.779 --> 00:23:15.799
Okay, I'm sitting down on the chair to take my
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00:23:15.839 --> 00:23:17.980
shoes off, and now I'm regretting the fans that I
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00:23:17.980 --> 00:23:21.740
wear stylish jeans that have no stretch in them.
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00:23:21.759 --> 00:23:23.759
It'd be a lot harder if you were wearing a skirt,
454
00:23:23.799 --> 00:23:26.019
so this works.
455
00:23:26.099 --> 00:23:28.269
I'm already having trouble, and I don't have the suit on.
456
00:23:28.420 --> 00:23:30.200
I'm just getting my shoes off here.
457
00:23:30.400 --> 00:23:30.599
Okay.
458
00:23:32.450 --> 00:23:34.759
So I'm putting on a weighted vest. Yeah.
459
00:23:34.970 --> 00:23:36.559
And now this is not necessarily because you're going to
460
00:23:36.579 --> 00:23:40.460
be gaining weight, but you're going to be losing muscle mass.
461
00:23:40.480 --> 00:23:43.200
Oh, so I have to put on a weighted vest
462
00:23:43.259 --> 00:23:46.119
because when you lose muscle mass, you're.
463
00:23:45.859 --> 00:23:48.279
Starting, everything is starting to feel a little heavier, a
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little more difficult to move. So you may maintain certain weight,
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00:23:53.579 --> 00:23:55.500
but it doesn't mean you have a certain muscle mass,
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00:23:55.660 --> 00:23:56.980
which gives you that strength.
467
00:23:57.299 --> 00:23:58.720
Wait, so hold on. I just want to make sure
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I understand this.
469
00:24:00.019 --> 00:24:02.259
So if you're looking at somebody in your life that's
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getting older and they haven't put on a lot of weight,
471
00:24:06.200 --> 00:24:10.750
they may still just feel like their existing weight feels heavier?
472
00:24:10.829 --> 00:24:13.369
Exactly. And if they've lost muscle mass, that means things
473
00:24:13.390 --> 00:24:15.369
that were once lighter or just getting up out of
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00:24:15.390 --> 00:24:17.849
the chair as you did... becomes just a little bit
475
00:24:17.890 --> 00:24:18.529
more difficult.
476
00:24:18.829 --> 00:24:20.029
I never would have thought about that.
477
00:24:20.170 --> 00:24:22.349
So we take a lot of it for granted because
478
00:24:22.369 --> 00:24:24.329
it doesn't look like it's changed, but it has.
479
00:24:24.630 --> 00:24:26.650
Well, when you think about, like, I'm just thinking about,
480
00:24:26.710 --> 00:24:30.789
for example, like, my grandma and her not changing her
481
00:24:30.869 --> 00:24:33.049
body shape at all, but it seemed to get harder
482
00:24:33.089 --> 00:24:35.130
and harder, and that's due to loss of muscle.
483
00:24:35.170 --> 00:24:37.190
Loss of muscle, coordination, and we're going to make it
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00:24:37.210 --> 00:24:38.519
a little bit worse as we go along.
485
00:24:38.690 --> 00:24:39.390
Oh, my gosh.
486
00:24:39.619 --> 00:24:42.130
Okay, thank you for bending down because these pants do
487
00:24:42.160 --> 00:24:43.140
not have stretch in them.
488
00:24:43.160 --> 00:24:44.900
This was really dumb of me. Okay.
489
00:24:45.730 --> 00:24:48.369
All right, so I'm putting on one leg of, this
490
00:24:48.450 --> 00:24:49.809
is the easy part, I think.
491
00:24:49.890 --> 00:24:50.759
I need to hold onto the shoulder.
492
00:24:50.779 --> 00:24:51.470
This is the jumpsuit.
493
00:24:52.160 --> 00:24:55.279
Okay, my pants literally are not. Okay, so I'm getting
494
00:24:55.339 --> 00:24:56.599
on the jumpsuit, everybody.
495
00:24:56.619 --> 00:24:58.319
Yeah, don't fall over.
496
00:24:58.380 --> 00:25:03.180
Kind of your typical, I think, auto mechanic think. If
497
00:25:03.240 --> 00:25:06.950
you're a farmer wearing your big Carhartt kind of zip
498
00:25:07.069 --> 00:25:11.309
up cold weather thing. So I've got on my, okay,
499
00:25:11.869 --> 00:25:15.869
zip this up. Okay, and I've got the vest on underneath.
500
00:25:15.890 --> 00:25:16.069
Yep.
501
00:25:16.369 --> 00:25:18.420
Now we're going to start getting interesting. So Lauren, what
502
00:25:18.440 --> 00:25:19.160
are we putting on now?
503
00:25:19.420 --> 00:25:22.299
We are putting on this harness. It's going to go
504
00:25:22.359 --> 00:25:24.140
right around your waist here and it's going to connect
505
00:25:24.160 --> 00:25:25.380
to some of the other components.
506
00:25:25.400 --> 00:25:27.630
So what you're looking at is a harness with a
507
00:25:27.730 --> 00:25:28.910
number of bungee cords.
508
00:25:29.029 --> 00:25:29.329
Okay.
509
00:25:29.509 --> 00:25:32.329
And the bungee cords are not to make you more flexible, actually.
510
00:25:32.839 --> 00:25:37.579
Each one is a certain level of reducing your gait,
511
00:25:37.700 --> 00:25:38.779
that is, your walk.
512
00:25:38.900 --> 00:25:39.960
Restricting how I walk?
513
00:25:39.980 --> 00:25:43.119
Yeah, so suddenly the span that you're going to be
514
00:25:43.160 --> 00:25:44.440
able to walk is going to be a little bit
515
00:25:44.599 --> 00:25:47.519
more resistant or less. It's not that you're not going
516
00:25:47.539 --> 00:25:49.240
to be able to fight it, but it's going to
517
00:25:49.259 --> 00:25:50.109
start to wear you out.
518
00:25:50.380 --> 00:25:52.289
Well, the vest is already wearing me out.
519
00:25:52.349 --> 00:25:54.990
I mean, I'm standing here with this kind of heaviness
520
00:25:55.549 --> 00:25:59.049
because I have this vest on, and I'm just kind
521
00:25:59.089 --> 00:26:02.950
of dumbstruck by... the fact that you may look at
522
00:26:03.029 --> 00:26:07.210
somebody who you love who's getting older, and you may
523
00:26:07.269 --> 00:26:10.789
see it in their face, but you don't understand that
524
00:26:10.829 --> 00:26:12.589
there's this heaviness in their body.
525
00:26:12.990 --> 00:26:15.130
Basically, the way we like to think about it is
526
00:26:15.170 --> 00:26:17.670
that what we're adding to you is a certain amount
527
00:26:17.690 --> 00:26:21.970
of friction of an environment, interaction with everything from chairs
528
00:26:22.039 --> 00:26:26.119
to kitchen, whatever it is, but friction, fatigue, and then
529
00:26:26.240 --> 00:26:29.349
often what you'll see in their face is frustration. Because
530
00:26:29.369 --> 00:26:31.630
you remember what it was like to be easy. Why
531
00:26:31.670 --> 00:26:35.430
am I fighting with this or having difficulty moving? Because
532
00:26:35.450 --> 00:26:38.109
you remember what it was like to be seamless and smooth.
533
00:26:38.470 --> 00:26:40.789
And now it's suddenly getting a little slower, a little
534
00:26:40.809 --> 00:26:43.289
bit more difficult, and frankly, a little bit more frustrating.
535
00:26:43.769 --> 00:26:45.970
So you said three Fs there.
536
00:26:46.109 --> 00:26:50.589
Yep. The friction, the fatigue, and the frustrations.
537
00:26:51.079 --> 00:26:52.819
Yes, and then I can imagine there's a fourth. You
538
00:26:52.839 --> 00:26:54.200
start to feel kind of frail.
539
00:26:54.319 --> 00:26:57.160
A little frail, exactly. And also, this is when we
540
00:26:57.240 --> 00:26:59.680
really start to have to understand, you know that cranky
541
00:26:59.720 --> 00:27:03.009
old man? He's not cranky. He's dealing with a lot
542
00:27:03.049 --> 00:27:05.390
that you can't see. And he remembers what it was
543
00:27:05.450 --> 00:27:07.210
like not to have to manage that.
544
00:27:09.289 --> 00:27:11.369
Now we have a pair of crocks with a thick
545
00:27:11.410 --> 00:27:12.789
layer of foam on the bottom.
546
00:27:13.109 --> 00:27:14.799
Okay, now what are these designed to do?
547
00:27:14.839 --> 00:27:16.140
Lauren, is this a style statement?
548
00:27:16.359 --> 00:27:20.460
Well, in part, in part, but in part also for balance.
549
00:27:21.279 --> 00:27:22.299
Oh, they're wobbly.
550
00:27:22.359 --> 00:27:24.829
Yeah. So what I want you to understand, this is
551
00:27:24.880 --> 00:27:27.910
not the destiny of aging. There's no birth date around this,
552
00:27:28.029 --> 00:27:32.660
but age-related diseases start to gather. So the wobbly is,
553
00:27:32.700 --> 00:27:36.130
you know, whether it's neuropathy, maybe change in foot pad,
554
00:27:36.609 --> 00:27:38.809
all of a sudden now you're not as sure. You
555
00:27:38.829 --> 00:27:42.430
see people moving slowly in the store. It's often not
556
00:27:42.470 --> 00:27:45.190
because they're slow. They're not sure of their footing anymore.
557
00:27:45.869 --> 00:27:48.690
Holy cow, and you're putting ankle weights around me?
558
00:27:48.869 --> 00:27:50.970
So this is getting at similarly to the vest. It's
559
00:27:51.049 --> 00:27:52.430
some of that muscle loss.
560
00:27:52.910 --> 00:27:55.880
Well, I think the thing that's really striking about even
561
00:27:55.980 --> 00:27:58.200
just getting the suit on, and I have not even
562
00:27:58.299 --> 00:28:04.400
tried to move in it yet, what's very striking is
563
00:28:04.859 --> 00:28:07.460
just this idea that you used to feel a certain
564
00:28:07.500 --> 00:28:11.359
way in your body, and now you don't feel like yourself.
565
00:28:12.240 --> 00:28:17.019
And given that I'm... not at this stage in my
566
00:28:17.099 --> 00:28:20.680
life yet where I'm wobbly on my feet, unless I've
567
00:28:20.700 --> 00:28:26.099
had too many gins or beers. I, I like you, you,
568
00:28:26.259 --> 00:28:29.690
you don't appreciate what it must feel like to be
569
00:28:30.450 --> 00:28:34.609
inside a body physically that doesn't feel like yours and
570
00:28:34.670 --> 00:28:37.349
how frustrating it must be.
571
00:28:37.430 --> 00:28:39.579
I mean, I'll, I just, just, I'll tell a quick story.
572
00:28:39.619 --> 00:28:42.890
My dad recently had cataract surgery and it, didn't go
573
00:28:42.930 --> 00:28:44.049
according to plan and there was.
574
00:28:44.029 --> 00:28:44.910
One of these floaters.
575
00:28:44.950 --> 00:28:47.730
And I can just, like you can see it in
576
00:28:47.750 --> 00:28:50.769
his eye, like it kind of twinkles and it really
577
00:28:50.829 --> 00:28:55.910
bothers him. And it's been a year now and there's
578
00:28:55.970 --> 00:28:57.809
kind of this, oh, well, you know, you just kind
579
00:28:57.829 --> 00:29:00.269
of have to deal with, but I can tell how
580
00:29:00.369 --> 00:29:01.750
frustrated he is by it.
581
00:29:01.950 --> 00:29:04.509
It's just the little things start to add up.
582
00:29:04.910 --> 00:29:05.170
Yes.
583
00:29:05.390 --> 00:29:07.750
And they become bigger. One of the things that has
584
00:29:07.789 --> 00:29:10.279
been amazing is that Agnes is a teachable moment. So
585
00:29:10.319 --> 00:29:12.990
when young students wear it, Or frankly, we even had
586
00:29:13.049 --> 00:29:15.809
teenagers wear it. All of a sudden they go, you know,
587
00:29:15.890 --> 00:29:17.859
I'm going to be nicer to grandma and grandpa or
588
00:29:17.990 --> 00:29:20.400
older people. I start to understand why I should hold
589
00:29:20.420 --> 00:29:23.440
the door open. Not just because it's an honorable, polite
590
00:29:23.460 --> 00:29:25.500
thing to do. All of a sudden now I get
591
00:29:25.700 --> 00:29:27.980
why they're a little slower, why it's more difficult.
592
00:29:28.240 --> 00:29:29.559
Okay. Now what's coming?
593
00:29:29.700 --> 00:29:33.109
So I'm actually going to have you try to pull.
594
00:29:33.029 --> 00:29:34.750
On this and tighten.
595
00:29:34.549 --> 00:29:35.210
It just a little bit.
596
00:29:35.309 --> 00:29:35.890
Okay.
597
00:29:35.950 --> 00:29:39.009
This is hard to do. You're making me get my own.
598
00:29:39.230 --> 00:29:41.460
So she's asking. me to tighten this thing.
599
00:29:41.519 --> 00:29:43.400
That's right. We haven't given you arthritic hands yet.
600
00:29:43.460 --> 00:29:46.359
And I can't, I actually can't get this done.
601
00:29:46.380 --> 00:29:49.079
So now I feel demoralized because I can't get my
602
00:29:49.140 --> 00:29:51.140
own belt tightened. And I'm going to have to ask
603
00:29:51.200 --> 00:29:54.150
Doc to help me here. Oh my, this is so
604
00:29:54.230 --> 00:29:55.170
much harder.
605
00:29:54.849 --> 00:29:57.240
Than I thought it was going to be. Like, it
606
00:29:57.279 --> 00:29:58.359
makes me feel two things at once.
607
00:29:58.460 --> 00:30:02.099
I feel a lot of compassion for anyone who's getting
608
00:30:02.279 --> 00:30:05.700
older and who is having trouble moving or who is
609
00:30:05.809 --> 00:30:09.630
feeling fragile or frustrated or that there's just the friction
610
00:30:09.750 --> 00:30:13.009
is the right word. And the second thing that I
611
00:30:13.089 --> 00:30:16.490
felt was just this sense of urgency for why I
612
00:30:16.549 --> 00:30:19.490
need to be lifting weights right now, why I need
613
00:30:19.529 --> 00:30:22.190
to be eating healthy, why I need to pay attention
614
00:30:22.250 --> 00:30:26.779
to mobility and balance now before I get... into a
615
00:30:27.009 --> 00:30:29.309
situation where everything's breaking down.
616
00:30:29.549 --> 00:30:31.990
When we think about aging, most people don't really have
617
00:30:32.029 --> 00:30:33.789
a definition of it. They think about it as a
618
00:30:33.829 --> 00:30:37.150
number of birthdays, that's older. Yes. Actually, aging is about
619
00:30:37.250 --> 00:30:39.549
diminishing capacity over time.
620
00:30:39.910 --> 00:30:40.970
Aging, hold on, let me make sure.
621
00:30:41.269 --> 00:30:44.950
Aging is about capacity diminishing over time.
622
00:30:44.970 --> 00:30:48.599
Over time. So your weightlifting is increasing your capacity. You're
623
00:30:48.660 --> 00:30:53.880
pushing out the clock, learning something new. keeps you cognitively well.
624
00:30:54.180 --> 00:30:56.220
So the idea is not to, shall we say, go
625
00:30:56.299 --> 00:30:58.720
quietly into that good night, but to do the things
626
00:30:58.769 --> 00:31:04.690
like eating, exercise, social condition, to push aging out further out.
627
00:31:04.829 --> 00:31:06.950
What I notice is the Crocs are making, I feel
628
00:31:06.970 --> 00:31:09.170
like I'm doing a drunk driving test.
629
00:31:09.190 --> 00:31:09.849
Yeah, exactly.
630
00:31:09.930 --> 00:31:13.190
Like walk a line and I'm wobbling. You feel unsure
631
00:31:13.210 --> 00:31:14.190
as you walk.
632
00:31:14.230 --> 00:31:16.450
You feel like, and when you hear then that if
633
00:31:16.490 --> 00:31:18.589
you break a hip, you're dead in a year, now
634
00:31:18.630 --> 00:31:20.690
I don't want to fall, so I'm feeling a little
635
00:31:20.730 --> 00:31:23.829
nervous about even taking a step. And, you know, if
636
00:31:23.849 --> 00:31:28.769
you're listening, it's a belt around you that has bungee
637
00:31:28.809 --> 00:31:31.950
cords attached to your shoes. And so as you're walking
638
00:31:32.089 --> 00:31:35.049
and you're kind of stepping on a shoe that's, like,
639
00:31:35.150 --> 00:31:37.869
round on the bottom, your ankles are like a weeble wobble.
640
00:31:38.470 --> 00:31:42.190
And then the spring is keeping you. You feel the tension,
641
00:31:42.210 --> 00:31:44.890
so you don't really want to stride it out. You
642
00:31:45.109 --> 00:31:46.650
feel hesitant.
643
00:31:47.910 --> 00:31:48.470
Wow. Wow.
644
00:31:49.509 --> 00:31:51.609
Oh, God. She's about to put a neck brace on.
645
00:31:51.609 --> 00:31:53.329
And the hits keep on coming.
646
00:31:53.369 --> 00:31:57.359
I don't love this part. Okay. Why do I have
647
00:31:57.390 --> 00:31:58.200
a neck brace on?
648
00:31:58.339 --> 00:32:02.460
Well, think about this. My lab started around older drivers
649
00:32:02.539 --> 00:32:05.259
and transportation. One of the things people will say, you know,
650
00:32:05.380 --> 00:32:07.539
these cars aren't designed very well. I can't see out
651
00:32:07.559 --> 00:32:09.869
the window. Well, here's the secret. By the time you're
652
00:32:10.009 --> 00:32:12.190
in your 30s, yes, you heard me, in your 30s,
653
00:32:12.950 --> 00:32:16.390
your neck rotation is starting to reduce significantly. And so suddenly, no,
654
00:32:16.410 --> 00:32:18.400
the car is fine. You're just not turning your neck.
655
00:32:18.680 --> 00:32:22.460
I'm trying to turn and look at you now, and
656
00:32:22.539 --> 00:32:23.779
I can't actually turn.
657
00:32:23.799 --> 00:32:25.539
You're missing the car behind you over here.
658
00:32:25.559 --> 00:32:28.440
If you've ever had a stiff neck, you know that
659
00:32:28.460 --> 00:32:31.069
you turn your whole body in order to see. And
660
00:32:31.329 --> 00:32:33.769
if this is what you have to do every day,
661
00:32:33.789 --> 00:32:38.430
this suit makes you feel like a gigantic jerk for
662
00:32:38.450 --> 00:32:39.970
being impatient with people that are older.
663
00:32:39.990 --> 00:32:40.380
Yes, yeah.
664
00:32:40.829 --> 00:32:43.690
It really does because it puts into perspective the physical
665
00:32:43.789 --> 00:32:46.150
friction of just getting through the day.
666
00:32:46.660 --> 00:32:49.819
And you know the irony is we always talk about them, they,
667
00:32:50.099 --> 00:32:53.599
older people. With any luck, we are they because the
668
00:32:53.619 --> 00:32:55.960
alternative is not nearly as positive as pretty.
669
00:32:56.319 --> 00:32:58.720
That's true. Okay, now what are you doing to me?
670
00:32:58.720 --> 00:33:00.720
So the next thing is vision.
671
00:33:00.769 --> 00:33:01.349
So we have vision.
672
00:33:02.009 --> 00:33:05.210
Pairs of goggles simulate different vision conditions. This one is
673
00:33:05.349 --> 00:33:07.630
impaired acuity, which is just standard low vision.
674
00:33:08.130 --> 00:33:09.990
Well, I have that when I don't wear my glasses.
675
00:33:10.089 --> 00:33:10.750
So what we.
676
00:33:10.670 --> 00:33:12.930
Can do is take off your glasses and actually have
677
00:33:12.950 --> 00:33:14.150
you put on these yellow glasses.
678
00:33:14.250 --> 00:33:14.609
Okay.
679
00:33:15.549 --> 00:33:18.170
And even just lifting up to take my glasses off.
680
00:33:19.150 --> 00:33:19.430
Okay.
681
00:33:19.690 --> 00:33:20.849
So this is a helmet.
682
00:33:21.170 --> 00:33:22.910
Why do we have a helmet? In case I fall?
683
00:33:23.410 --> 00:33:25.009
Well, it's for safety.
684
00:33:25.289 --> 00:33:27.930
It's also for, you'll notice... This is exhausting.
685
00:33:28.430 --> 00:33:30.049
Velcro, that'll be the last bunch.
686
00:33:30.069 --> 00:33:32.210
This further reduces movement.
687
00:33:32.990 --> 00:33:34.230
Okay.
688
00:33:34.390 --> 00:33:36.599
All I want to do is sit down. And I'm
689
00:33:36.640 --> 00:33:38.579
exhausted already and I haven't even started walking.
690
00:33:38.599 --> 00:33:40.400
That's right. We're going to have some fun here in
691
00:33:40.420 --> 00:33:40.960
a few minutes.
692
00:33:41.220 --> 00:33:41.539
Wow.
693
00:33:43.740 --> 00:33:46.420
We have so much more with Dr. Coughlin and this
694
00:33:46.720 --> 00:33:51.519
aging astronaut suit when we come back. Plus, very specific
695
00:33:51.579 --> 00:33:54.059
advice for you caregivers that you do not want to miss.
696
00:33:54.500 --> 00:33:55.259
So stay with me.
697
00:34:02.480 --> 00:34:04.700
Amazon presents Sophia's First Overnight Trip with Mikey.
698
00:34:27.599 --> 00:34:31.920
To prepare for their romantic weekend in Paris, Sophia browsed Amazon,
699
00:34:32.139 --> 00:34:36.159
where she found an eye mask, a Kindle, earplugs and
700
00:34:36.300 --> 00:34:37.480
extra cozy pajamas.
701
00:34:37.860 --> 00:34:40.440
Perfect for winding down after a long day of walking.
702
00:34:41.420 --> 00:34:44.719
Hang in there, Mikey. Remember, there's nothing more romantic to
703
00:34:44.780 --> 00:34:47.960
Sophia than a good night's sleep. Now get her that
704
00:34:48.000 --> 00:34:48.860
chamomile tea.
705
00:34:49.760 --> 00:34:50.960
Find what you need at Amazon.ie.
706
00:34:53.170 --> 00:34:55.780
With Super Value's Real Rewards prices, you can now get
707
00:34:55.820 --> 00:34:58.300
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708
00:34:58.340 --> 00:35:00.420
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709
00:35:00.460 --> 00:35:03.739
do is simply download your Real Rewards app, scan the
710
00:35:03.840 --> 00:35:06.769
app at the till, and get great savings on your shopping.
711
00:35:07.550 --> 00:35:10.789
New Real Rewards prices from Super Value. Yes, you scan.
712
00:35:17.900 --> 00:35:19.980
Welcome back. It's your friend Mel. And today you and
713
00:35:20.039 --> 00:35:20.900
I are here with Dr.
714
00:35:20.980 --> 00:35:24.199
Joseph Coughlin. Right now, I'm a sight to behold. I
715
00:35:24.360 --> 00:35:28.099
am wearing this MIT Age Lab astronaut aging suit.
716
00:35:28.139 --> 00:35:31.710
It's called Agnes. We're going around the office here in Boston.
717
00:35:32.170 --> 00:35:36.000
And let's just jump right back in. So Dr.
718
00:35:36.039 --> 00:35:38.389
Coughlin, what is the next thing you're gonna make me
719
00:35:38.429 --> 00:35:39.130
do in this suit?
720
00:35:39.510 --> 00:35:41.710
So why don't we go for a little bit of
721
00:35:41.750 --> 00:35:42.170
a walk?
722
00:35:42.329 --> 00:35:45.949
Okay, easier said than done, doc. Okay, so I'm gonna
723
00:35:46.019 --> 00:35:46.679
follow you.
724
00:35:46.840 --> 00:35:48.199
Come on, speed it up. We don't have all day.
725
00:35:48.280 --> 00:35:52.340
Oh my God. You're like my petulant grandson.
726
00:35:52.920 --> 00:35:55.380
So we're going to do some just basic everyday things.
727
00:35:55.460 --> 00:35:57.280
So let's go for a walk. I want you to
728
00:35:57.409 --> 00:36:00.349
step around the cones because you're just basically going around
729
00:36:00.389 --> 00:36:00.789
your house.
730
00:36:01.030 --> 00:36:04.050
In this suit, you just feel a little like... Your.
731
00:36:03.969 --> 00:36:06.550
Balance is on. Oh, wait, you got daily activities. You
732
00:36:06.590 --> 00:36:07.809
got some laundry to pick up here.
733
00:36:08.090 --> 00:36:10.269
I don't want to pick it up because it feels
734
00:36:10.289 --> 00:36:11.389
like it's going to be hard.
735
00:36:11.449 --> 00:36:13.170
That's why it's been sitting there for a while.
736
00:36:13.309 --> 00:36:15.849
Now I'm like feeling friction because why am I the
737
00:36:15.929 --> 00:36:17.030
one that's picking this thing up?
738
00:36:17.050 --> 00:36:18.369
Oh my God. Okay.
739
00:36:18.389 --> 00:36:19.690
So we're going to keep walking.
740
00:36:19.710 --> 00:36:19.789
Whoa.
741
00:36:20.230 --> 00:36:21.349
Oh, so, okay.
742
00:36:21.590 --> 00:36:22.389
Walk around the corner.
743
00:36:22.409 --> 00:36:23.269
Now I'm walking around the corner.
744
00:36:23.289 --> 00:36:25.150
You know those missing socks that are always missing? They're
745
00:36:25.170 --> 00:36:25.510
right there.
746
00:36:25.530 --> 00:36:26.710
They're socks on the floor.
747
00:36:26.730 --> 00:36:30.719
I have the laundry basket that just burned through like
748
00:36:30.719 --> 00:36:31.639
100 calories.
749
00:36:32.699 --> 00:36:34.280
I can't bend down.
750
00:36:34.300 --> 00:36:35.300
Oh, my God.
751
00:36:35.559 --> 00:36:35.880
Okay.
752
00:36:36.159 --> 00:36:39.260
Now I'm bracing my hand on my knee to get
753
00:36:39.619 --> 00:36:40.179
the socks.
754
00:36:41.460 --> 00:36:42.559
I'm getting back up.
755
00:36:43.070 --> 00:36:45.329
We step over here because the room that you're going
756
00:36:45.349 --> 00:36:48.110
to is this way. Okay. Okay. And now we're walking out.
757
00:36:48.119 --> 00:36:48.599
How'd that feel?
758
00:36:48.619 --> 00:36:49.500
That's exhausting.
759
00:36:49.920 --> 00:36:53.860
That was a lot of friction. And these rounded crocs
760
00:36:54.360 --> 00:36:55.239
do not make it easy.
761
00:36:55.420 --> 00:36:55.579
No.
762
00:36:56.159 --> 00:36:58.269
And this is where we start to worry about balance.
763
00:36:58.289 --> 00:37:00.630
Not just strength, but the power of balance. Because as
764
00:37:00.650 --> 00:37:03.969
you mentioned before, if we fall and we break something,
765
00:37:04.570 --> 00:37:06.789
that can be lethal, let alone just a fracture.
766
00:37:06.809 --> 00:37:10.070
Well, and also, if you're feeling wobbly, you don't walk...
767
00:37:10.650 --> 00:37:14.409
in a way that probably stabilizes you because you're thinking
768
00:37:14.449 --> 00:37:16.489
about falling. Like, the whole time I was walking, I'm like,
769
00:37:16.550 --> 00:37:18.409
I can't believe how unstable I am right now.
770
00:37:18.570 --> 00:37:20.929
And remember, your suit is only simulating how you feel
771
00:37:20.949 --> 00:37:23.329
in the built environment. I'm not simulating, for instance, right
772
00:37:23.369 --> 00:37:28.059
now hearing balance-related issues with your ears or maybe, frankly,
773
00:37:28.400 --> 00:37:30.420
having bent down. Maybe you have high blood pressure. You
774
00:37:30.440 --> 00:37:32.699
went to get up. Your blood pressure dropped. You're feeling
775
00:37:32.719 --> 00:37:33.619
a little off balance.
776
00:37:33.820 --> 00:37:34.099
Wow.
777
00:37:34.559 --> 00:37:38.429
It's really stunning how this hits you. Okay.
778
00:37:38.949 --> 00:37:40.670
Next task. You want to go for a walk, perhaps?
779
00:37:40.690 --> 00:37:40.760
Yes.
780
00:37:40.769 --> 00:37:42.829
While I'm up, I think I better keep moving because
781
00:37:42.869 --> 00:37:44.190
I think if I sit down, I'm not going to.
782
00:37:44.150 --> 00:37:45.710
Be able to get up. One of the challenges, and
783
00:37:45.929 --> 00:37:47.130
I want to be careful about this, and one of
784
00:37:47.170 --> 00:37:49.369
the challenges is going up and down stairs.
785
00:37:49.489 --> 00:37:49.750
Yes.
786
00:37:50.570 --> 00:37:54.000
There is a strong balance philosophy out there is like,
787
00:37:54.179 --> 00:37:58.619
everyone should live on a one-floor home. Perhaps. But remember,
788
00:37:58.679 --> 00:38:01.650
those stairs also become, shall we say, exercise.
789
00:38:01.809 --> 00:38:02.110
Okay.
790
00:38:02.269 --> 00:38:04.550
You never want to make a life so easy that
791
00:38:04.570 --> 00:38:07.050
you lose all the friction, because that friction is what's
792
00:38:07.210 --> 00:38:08.929
giving you a little bit of muscle mass. It's giving
793
00:38:08.949 --> 00:38:11.889
you a little bit of, you know, activity, if you will. Gotcha. Now,
794
00:38:11.929 --> 00:38:13.340
that said, let's do the stairs.
795
00:38:13.389 --> 00:38:14.500
Okay, let's do the stairs.
796
00:38:16.239 --> 00:38:18.239
Tell you what. Actually, you go ahead and open the door.
797
00:38:18.260 --> 00:38:19.340
Okay, I open the door.
798
00:38:19.360 --> 00:38:19.440
Okay.
799
00:38:20.059 --> 00:38:22.449
Okay. Here we go.
800
00:38:23.050 --> 00:38:25.960
And here's just one of those daily activities that becomes
801
00:38:26.039 --> 00:38:27.139
a little bit, you know.
802
00:38:28.019 --> 00:38:28.739
Daunting.
803
00:38:28.800 --> 00:38:29.000
Yep.
804
00:38:29.460 --> 00:38:29.820
Okay.
805
00:38:29.880 --> 00:38:30.960
I would use the railing.
806
00:38:31.239 --> 00:38:32.280
I'm definitely going to use the railing.
807
00:38:32.300 --> 00:38:34.159
Frankly, everyone of any age should use the railing.
808
00:38:34.360 --> 00:38:35.800
Oh, my Lord.
809
00:38:36.780 --> 00:38:39.469
These bungee cords that are around my waist attached to
810
00:38:39.510 --> 00:38:45.329
my wobbly Crocs make every step like super deliberate.
811
00:38:46.070 --> 00:38:48.409
I mean, I'm not even injured. I feel like I'm injured.
812
00:38:48.449 --> 00:38:50.409
And you can feel how the rise in the stairs
813
00:38:50.510 --> 00:38:52.670
are just, you know, sometimes a little bit more challenging
814
00:38:52.710 --> 00:38:53.449
than you expected.
815
00:38:53.690 --> 00:38:54.769
I feel this in my hips.
816
00:38:55.510 --> 00:38:55.710
Yep.
817
00:38:56.989 --> 00:38:57.750
Oh my Lord.
818
00:38:58.949 --> 00:39:01.219
Let me get to the landing so I'm stable when
819
00:39:01.280 --> 00:39:01.929
I turn around.
820
00:39:03.480 --> 00:39:05.840
Down is often harder on your knees than going up.
821
00:39:06.860 --> 00:39:11.860
So it is very daunting to go downstairs. The Crocs
822
00:39:11.920 --> 00:39:16.639
are wobbly. the bands just kind of remind you that
823
00:39:16.679 --> 00:39:19.260
your legs are there. So something that you took for granted,
824
00:39:20.320 --> 00:39:24.670
you now have to think about every single step that
825
00:39:24.690 --> 00:39:25.170
you take.
826
00:39:25.250 --> 00:39:27.469
And your vision should be distorting a little bit of
827
00:39:27.530 --> 00:39:28.670
your depth of field.
828
00:39:28.789 --> 00:39:29.219
Oh, it is.
829
00:39:29.849 --> 00:39:32.690
And not being able to turn your neck as well
830
00:39:32.730 --> 00:39:34.789
as you'd like is also making it more difficult to
831
00:39:34.849 --> 00:39:37.550
judge just what your next step is going to be.
832
00:39:37.570 --> 00:39:37.989
Oh, yeah.
833
00:39:42.599 --> 00:39:44.460
All of a sudden, when the world starts to have
834
00:39:44.500 --> 00:39:48.579
a little bit more friction, whether it's going up or downstairs, suddenly, like,
835
00:39:49.079 --> 00:39:52.579
you know, I might want to go downstairs, make a
836
00:39:52.619 --> 00:39:54.920
cup of tea or make breakfast or something like that.
837
00:39:54.940 --> 00:39:56.820
I just don't feel like it right now. So I
838
00:39:56.840 --> 00:39:58.909
think I'll stay in the bedroom and watch TV a
839
00:39:58.929 --> 00:40:02.130
little bit longer. So suddenly now, what was once a
840
00:40:02.230 --> 00:40:05.110
very large world in your youth starts to compress and
841
00:40:05.150 --> 00:40:08.989
get smaller because the physical environment is not adapting to
842
00:40:09.030 --> 00:40:09.670
what you're doing.
843
00:40:09.949 --> 00:40:10.809
Well, I can see that.
844
00:40:10.829 --> 00:40:13.199
And I think every one of us, if you're listening
845
00:40:13.360 --> 00:40:14.860
or if you're watching right now, I want you to
846
00:40:14.920 --> 00:40:16.820
think of somebody in your life that you care about.
847
00:40:17.599 --> 00:40:20.579
who as they're getting older, you've noticed that their entire
848
00:40:20.639 --> 00:40:24.900
world has gotten smaller, their friend circle has reduced, they've
849
00:40:24.940 --> 00:40:30.559
become less active, and you really understand when you put
850
00:40:30.639 --> 00:40:34.519
this astronaut aging suit on, that it's because.
851
00:40:34.260 --> 00:40:36.429
It's easier to stay home.
852
00:40:36.570 --> 00:40:39.570
It's easier not to get in the car or go,
853
00:40:39.690 --> 00:40:42.590
or it's easier not to push yourself out the door,
854
00:40:42.610 --> 00:40:47.530
because everything, just involves a lot more effort. That's the
855
00:40:47.570 --> 00:40:51.179
piece that I think is very striking, that you have
856
00:40:51.219 --> 00:40:53.480
a memory of what it was like to trot down
857
00:40:53.500 --> 00:40:55.079
the stairs. You have a memory of what it was
858
00:40:55.139 --> 00:40:56.949
like to be able to pick up the laundry basket
859
00:40:56.969 --> 00:40:58.369
and not even think twice about.
860
00:40:58.190 --> 00:40:59.869
It while you were talking on the phone and you
861
00:40:59.909 --> 00:41:00.889
had something under your arm.
862
00:41:01.699 --> 00:41:06.000
And the friction for me is not even the physical
863
00:41:06.039 --> 00:41:09.579
as much as it's the mental of confronting the decline
864
00:41:09.619 --> 00:41:12.050
in capacity, knowing that it wasn't always like this.
865
00:41:12.449 --> 00:41:15.690
And don't underestimate, and we're talking about the world getting smaller.
866
00:41:15.730 --> 00:41:18.980
It's not just about navigating stairs or the kitchen. All
867
00:41:19.019 --> 00:41:21.519
of us worry about how people look at us in
868
00:41:21.559 --> 00:41:21.980
the world.
869
00:41:22.079 --> 00:41:22.360
Yes.
870
00:41:22.599 --> 00:41:25.489
And so there's a certain frustration, too, of like, I
871
00:41:25.570 --> 00:41:29.010
don't want to be seen as struggling or somehow less.
872
00:41:29.429 --> 00:41:32.369
We're living in a faster, faster world where the population
873
00:41:32.449 --> 00:41:35.230
is getting older and may not be able to adapt
874
00:41:35.250 --> 00:41:39.619
to that speed and tempo. So what happens? I don't
875
00:41:39.659 --> 00:41:41.699
want to go out Friday night with you. It's not
876
00:41:41.719 --> 00:41:44.860
that I don't feel well. I just don't feel like it.
877
00:41:45.090 --> 00:41:48.050
And part is because I just don't want those public
878
00:41:48.190 --> 00:41:51.190
eyes watching me go through the door, having a hard
879
00:41:51.230 --> 00:41:52.550
time taking my jacket off.
880
00:41:52.630 --> 00:41:54.690
Yes, that makes a ton of sense.
881
00:41:54.869 --> 00:41:58.820
Pride matters at all ages. Okay, I know you're tired.
882
00:41:58.960 --> 00:42:00.360
So I'll tell you what, why don't we have you
883
00:42:00.400 --> 00:42:01.460
sit down for a few minutes?
884
00:42:01.500 --> 00:42:02.739
You're reading my mind, Doc.
885
00:42:02.760 --> 00:42:04.739
That's all I want to do is turn on the
886
00:42:04.800 --> 00:42:05.860
news and go watch.
887
00:42:05.940 --> 00:42:07.099
Not the news, but thank you.
888
00:42:10.599 --> 00:42:12.500
So I think you're about ready for a rest.
889
00:42:12.739 --> 00:42:14.039
I am ready to sit down.
890
00:42:14.079 --> 00:42:15.760
So why don't you take a seat over here?
891
00:42:15.780 --> 00:42:18.199
You know, one of the things that's also happening is
892
00:42:18.500 --> 00:42:21.360
I just keep expecting the suit not to be here.
893
00:42:22.400 --> 00:42:25.739
And I, you know, I'm like trying to move through
894
00:42:25.800 --> 00:42:29.679
it and I just feel this sense of like, you know, resignation.
895
00:42:29.760 --> 00:42:31.599
Like, okay, this is just how it is.
896
00:42:31.639 --> 00:42:32.619
It's just another day.
897
00:42:32.639 --> 00:42:35.079
Oh my God. Okay, this chair's really, whoa.
898
00:42:36.139 --> 00:42:37.380
Here's a little lift.
899
00:42:37.440 --> 00:42:39.420
And it's back. How the hell am I gonna get
900
00:42:39.500 --> 00:42:39.880
out of this?
901
00:42:40.000 --> 00:42:41.619
Well, that's part of the challenge. I mean, this is
902
00:42:41.639 --> 00:42:44.260
the little things that people forget about as we age
903
00:42:44.320 --> 00:42:46.380
or we think about our parents aging. I'm gonna get
904
00:42:46.420 --> 00:42:49.039
them a nice, comfortable chair. I'm gonna build an office
905
00:42:49.099 --> 00:42:52.159
where it's nice and comfortable. Low, soft chairs.
906
00:42:52.619 --> 00:42:55.400
Just three weeks ago, I was visiting my parents in
907
00:42:55.440 --> 00:43:00.000
Florida and we went to a furniture store and I
908
00:43:00.059 --> 00:43:02.929
sat down in this chair and I thought, oh my God,
909
00:43:02.969 --> 00:43:04.219
this chair is so comfortable.
910
00:43:04.239 --> 00:43:04.659
It's amazing.
911
00:43:04.679 --> 00:43:06.639
And I said, hey mom, sit down in this. And
912
00:43:06.679 --> 00:43:09.789
my mom, who is in great shape, sat down and
913
00:43:09.829 --> 00:43:10.909
she's like, I couldn't sit in this.
914
00:43:11.010 --> 00:43:12.210
I said, why? She goes, it's too low.
915
00:43:12.469 --> 00:43:14.550
It's too hard to get out of. And I thought, oh,
916
00:43:14.570 --> 00:43:18.150
for God's sakes. And now I'm thinking, I'm such a jerk.
917
00:43:18.889 --> 00:43:21.090
And think of the little friction points you take for granted.
918
00:43:21.150 --> 00:43:23.190
So you're talking about the chair, right? Getting in and
919
00:43:23.289 --> 00:43:24.769
out of a car. And we work with the auto
920
00:43:24.809 --> 00:43:27.070
industry about getting in and out of the car is
921
00:43:27.110 --> 00:43:29.409
more than the battle of driving the car. How about
922
00:43:29.449 --> 00:43:31.150
going to the toilet? A low toilet?
923
00:43:31.190 --> 00:43:31.570
Oh, my gosh.
924
00:43:31.590 --> 00:43:32.639
Good luck getting back up.
925
00:43:32.869 --> 00:43:34.510
Well, that's hard enough for any of us.
926
00:43:34.550 --> 00:43:36.820
But, I mean, I can't even imagine how hard it
927
00:43:36.880 --> 00:43:38.559
is when you walk in and you see a toilet
928
00:43:38.599 --> 00:43:40.280
that low and you think, uh-oh, here we go.
929
00:43:40.659 --> 00:43:43.440
All these things need to be reengineered for the society
930
00:43:43.500 --> 00:43:46.489
that is coming. not the society that we used to be.
931
00:43:46.650 --> 00:43:49.550
Well, I think what needs to be re-engineered immediately is
932
00:43:49.730 --> 00:43:52.400
just your attitude toward the people that you care about
933
00:43:52.440 --> 00:43:54.960
that are getting older and your attitude and patience level
934
00:43:55.500 --> 00:43:58.619
with people that you encounter every day in your life.
935
00:43:58.659 --> 00:44:00.800
The person who might be taking a little too long
936
00:44:00.820 --> 00:44:03.219
in front of you on the line, the person that's
937
00:44:03.260 --> 00:44:08.579
driving a little slower because they're hesitant. It's just so
938
00:44:08.780 --> 00:44:13.030
striking the friction that you feel, and for the first
939
00:44:13.070 --> 00:44:15.039
couple moments in this suit, I'm like, okay, I can
940
00:44:15.059 --> 00:44:17.840
get through this. These are wobbly Crocs, for crying out loud.
941
00:44:18.159 --> 00:44:19.940
But then you get to the point where you're just like,
942
00:44:20.239 --> 00:44:22.579
this is it. I just have to stop fighting it,
943
00:44:22.639 --> 00:44:25.420
and this is just kind of what I'm gonna have
944
00:44:25.460 --> 00:44:27.179
to deal with. I don't wanna get out of this
945
00:44:27.199 --> 00:44:29.429
chair because I feel like this is gonna be a chore.
946
00:44:29.469 --> 00:44:32.389
If I were sitting here without this astronaut aging suit on,
947
00:44:32.969 --> 00:44:33.610
I would just stand up.
948
00:44:34.329 --> 00:44:35.469
And what I actually have to.
949
00:44:35.469 --> 00:44:39.449
Do is I need to brace and pull myself forward
950
00:44:40.820 --> 00:44:43.030
and now I've got to get my feet up underneath
951
00:44:43.090 --> 00:44:47.050
me with my wobbly Crocs and now stand up, which
952
00:44:47.090 --> 00:44:50.909
basically feels like your 12th rep of a squat at
953
00:44:50.969 --> 00:44:53.230
the gym weighted with weights up here.
954
00:44:53.349 --> 00:44:54.789
That's what it felt like to get out of that chair.
955
00:44:55.110 --> 00:44:57.360
And you're taking your time. Imagine you were at a restaurant.
956
00:44:57.380 --> 00:44:58.570
You just had about an hour, hour and a half.
957
00:44:58.590 --> 00:45:00.800
And everybody's already stood up and gone, and now there
958
00:45:00.840 --> 00:45:02.219
you are trying to get yourself up.
959
00:45:02.539 --> 00:45:04.860
Or you feel, even if they're not, they're watching you
960
00:45:04.900 --> 00:45:05.619
do it. Yes.
961
00:45:05.880 --> 00:45:07.119
Oh, grandma's looking old. Yep.
962
00:45:07.489 --> 00:45:10.250
Grandma's like, grandpa's really kind of slowing down, because we
963
00:45:10.309 --> 00:45:10.909
all say it.
964
00:45:11.639 --> 00:45:12.380
Now we know why.
965
00:45:12.579 --> 00:45:14.300
But you're looking a little thirsty. Would you like a
966
00:45:14.539 --> 00:45:15.559
glass or a bottle of water?
967
00:45:15.579 --> 00:45:16.139
I would love some water.
968
00:45:16.179 --> 00:45:17.420
I'll tell you what, why don't we step over here.
969
00:45:17.440 --> 00:45:18.400
Let's wet the whistle.
970
00:45:18.420 --> 00:45:18.679
Okay.
971
00:45:18.719 --> 00:45:20.969
And let's try out those hands that you've got.
972
00:45:20.989 --> 00:45:25.449
Okay, so I have on fingerless gloves that, what do
973
00:45:25.469 --> 00:45:26.030
these simulate?
974
00:45:26.369 --> 00:45:30.030
These are more around arthritis, you know, loss of dexterity,
975
00:45:30.070 --> 00:45:32.239
but also arthritis, stiff hands, a little bit of pain
976
00:45:32.280 --> 00:45:34.500
going on there. So you start, you know, one of
977
00:45:34.539 --> 00:45:37.699
the number one indicators of older age is grip strikes.
978
00:45:37.920 --> 00:45:40.860
Okay, I'm holding a plastic water bottle, just your average
979
00:45:40.880 --> 00:45:43.659
plastic water bottle. I take it nobody here glued this shut.
980
00:45:44.139 --> 00:45:44.980
Okay.
981
00:45:48.070 --> 00:45:50.559
Even like getting my compromised hand.
982
00:45:50.659 --> 00:45:51.699
You're spilling it everywhere.
983
00:45:52.000 --> 00:45:52.320
I am.
984
00:45:52.460 --> 00:45:53.880
I did spill that, didn't I?
985
00:45:54.400 --> 00:45:56.280
So here's the funny thing is that we are trying
986
00:45:56.300 --> 00:45:59.440
to be environmentally sensitive with thinner plastic, less, you know,
987
00:45:59.500 --> 00:46:03.079
smaller cap. But that's where green is now conflicting with
988
00:46:03.119 --> 00:46:05.780
a graying society because you need a bigger cap to
989
00:46:05.800 --> 00:46:09.840
get a grip. And with thinner plastic, you're squeezing it hard.
990
00:46:09.920 --> 00:46:11.559
And that's why we have water on the floor.
991
00:46:11.579 --> 00:46:16.840
I literally squeeze this on my hand. You're absolutely right. Wow. Okay.
992
00:46:17.860 --> 00:46:18.460
That's a pain.
993
00:46:18.800 --> 00:46:19.719
So you want to phone home?
994
00:46:20.219 --> 00:46:21.719
I'd love to call my husband and tell him to
995
00:46:21.739 --> 00:46:23.909
get me out of this aging suit. Okay, so here's
996
00:46:23.949 --> 00:46:27.949
my phone. My vision is compromised. I even have the
997
00:46:28.050 --> 00:46:31.389
giant font on my phone, everybody. So I'm supposed to
998
00:46:31.429 --> 00:46:32.329
call Chris now?
999
00:46:33.809 --> 00:46:34.449
Text Chris.
1000
00:46:34.630 --> 00:46:34.949
Okay.
1001
00:46:36.460 --> 00:46:41.519
Let's see here. Okay. You know how I can tell
1002
00:46:41.559 --> 00:46:41.860
it's him?
1003
00:46:41.880 --> 00:46:42.159
Huh.
1004
00:46:42.659 --> 00:46:47.070
Because there's this blurry photo. And thankfully, he's on my favorites.
1005
00:46:47.340 --> 00:46:49.610
And if you're listening, I want you to know the
1006
00:46:49.670 --> 00:46:52.949
phone is approximately two inches from my face.
1007
00:46:53.809 --> 00:46:55.429
I just typed the words.
1008
00:46:55.250 --> 00:46:58.840
Hi, and I can't make out the H in the I,
1009
00:46:58.989 --> 00:47:00.380
but I know that that's what that is.
1010
00:47:00.409 --> 00:47:03.300
Okay, hi. I'm going to do the little emoji that's
1011
00:47:03.320 --> 00:47:03.880
popping up.
1012
00:47:04.860 --> 00:47:06.420
So why don't you send him a photo as well?
1013
00:47:06.639 --> 00:47:08.699
Okay, I probably should since he doesn't know what age
1014
00:47:08.760 --> 00:47:08.900
he is.
1015
00:47:08.960 --> 00:47:10.119
Are you sure you sent it to Chris and not
1016
00:47:10.139 --> 00:47:10.579
somebody else?
1017
00:47:11.469 --> 00:47:13.510
It wouldn't be the first time that I missed. OK,
1018
00:47:13.550 --> 00:47:17.550
here we go. OK, well, I can't reach. Oh, OK,
1019
00:47:17.590 --> 00:47:18.150
this sucks.
1020
00:47:18.809 --> 00:47:21.989
I'm trying to take a photo in the age astronaut suit, everybody.
1021
00:47:22.389 --> 00:47:24.610
And as I you know, I have to hold up
1022
00:47:24.659 --> 00:47:27.440
the phone like with a selfie. Now I'm trying to
1023
00:47:27.500 --> 00:47:29.920
reach forward to hit the button in the center because
1024
00:47:30.019 --> 00:47:32.119
none of my grandkids taught me that I can do
1025
00:47:32.159 --> 00:47:34.239
it on the side. So now I look like an
1026
00:47:34.360 --> 00:47:35.599
idiot in front of everybody.
1027
00:47:35.619 --> 00:47:37.260
We need a spare Gen Z or millennial.
1028
00:47:37.300 --> 00:47:37.539
Yes.
1029
00:47:37.619 --> 00:47:39.559
OK, so I'm going to hit this button. Here we go.
1030
00:47:40.449 --> 00:47:45.030
I'm faking a smile because this is awful. Okay, there
1031
00:47:45.070 --> 00:47:46.570
we go, Chris. Now let's see if I can get
1032
00:47:46.610 --> 00:47:49.190
this to him. Oh, I don't know what that means.
1033
00:47:49.730 --> 00:47:52.570
I don't know what the buttons are. Okay, hold on.
1034
00:47:52.590 --> 00:47:56.110
There he is. Thank God for the photos. There we go.
1035
00:47:56.239 --> 00:47:56.969
I just sent it to him.
1036
00:47:57.739 --> 00:48:00.199
So if you think about these technologies, the way they're designed,
1037
00:48:00.219 --> 00:48:03.599
they're designed primarily for younger fingers, younger eyes and whatnot,
1038
00:48:04.059 --> 00:48:07.000
but they're vital to our connection. And we are now more,
1039
00:48:07.300 --> 00:48:09.260
shall we say, connected by high tech than we are
1040
00:48:09.300 --> 00:48:11.369
with high touch. So all of a sudden now that
1041
00:48:11.389 --> 00:48:14.070
was more important than just the interface. It was about
1042
00:48:14.130 --> 00:48:16.230
how you stay connected, not just with your husband, but
1043
00:48:16.590 --> 00:48:17.170
everyone else.
1044
00:48:17.210 --> 00:48:19.050
Well, you can also see how you would lean back
1045
00:48:19.090 --> 00:48:23.360
and opt out from tech because it feels overwhelming. And
1046
00:48:23.400 --> 00:48:26.699
if nobody's there to help you really assimilate it into
1047
00:48:26.719 --> 00:48:28.900
your life, you just sort of opt out. And then
1048
00:48:28.940 --> 00:48:31.340
we make fun of somebody for not being with the
1049
00:48:31.400 --> 00:48:34.059
times or not knowing the trends or not understanding. And
1050
00:48:34.079 --> 00:48:37.050
so you can see how somebody would just slowly back
1051
00:48:37.119 --> 00:48:39.750
away from wanting to be in touch with everybody.
1052
00:48:39.769 --> 00:48:42.150
Because you don't want to feel that you're incompetent on something.
1053
00:48:42.190 --> 00:48:44.159
But I have to tell you, at the Age Lab,
1054
00:48:44.179 --> 00:48:46.659
you know what we call technology that's hard to use,
1055
00:48:46.719 --> 00:48:50.400
hard to see, and difficult to understand? Bad technology. It
1056
00:48:50.440 --> 00:48:52.900
is the only industry in the world that dares to
1057
00:48:52.960 --> 00:48:57.039
accuse the consumer of not being competent. If you can't
1058
00:48:57.159 --> 00:48:59.500
use it, that's the technology's fault, not yours.
1059
00:49:00.269 --> 00:49:02.389
This is so second nature to be able to text
1060
00:49:02.449 --> 00:49:05.219
Chris that I would have typically been able to do
1061
00:49:05.280 --> 00:49:06.880
that in five to ten seconds.
1062
00:49:07.340 --> 00:49:07.800
No question.
1063
00:49:08.119 --> 00:49:11.940
And what's really interesting about this experience as you're listening
1064
00:49:11.980 --> 00:49:15.630
or watching is that keep in mind you are having
1065
00:49:15.750 --> 00:49:20.000
trouble doing things you have always done. And that's where
1066
00:49:20.039 --> 00:49:21.820
a lot of the friction comes. I mean, you've spent
1067
00:49:21.840 --> 00:49:23.440
your whole life getting in and out of chairs and
1068
00:49:23.460 --> 00:49:25.530
now suddenly you can't. You've spent your whole life going
1069
00:49:25.570 --> 00:49:28.070
up and downstairs. Suddenly you can't. Like for the person
1070
00:49:28.110 --> 00:49:31.550
that is actually living in the age suit right now,
1071
00:49:32.260 --> 00:49:35.010
You already have the tight joints. It's hard to pick
1072
00:49:35.070 --> 00:49:38.250
up the laundry basket. What is the message that you
1073
00:49:38.309 --> 00:49:41.989
want that person to hear from you about what's possible
1074
00:49:42.090 --> 00:49:46.050
in terms of gaining some of your strength and autonomy
1075
00:49:46.250 --> 00:49:50.409
back and tapping back into your life and widening the aperture?
1076
00:49:51.050 --> 00:49:52.530
rather than making it so small.
1077
00:49:53.110 --> 00:49:55.530
There are three things that that person, but not just
1078
00:49:55.570 --> 00:49:58.650
that person, but the people who love them, their adult children,
1079
00:49:58.690 --> 00:50:01.510
their spouse, their partner, whatever it might be. Three things
1080
00:50:01.530 --> 00:50:04.340
to think about. One is that you can get some
1081
00:50:04.380 --> 00:50:08.159
capability back. So that working out, that nutrition is about
1082
00:50:08.199 --> 00:50:10.559
what you can do to improve, shall we say, the
1083
00:50:10.619 --> 00:50:11.480
original equipment.
1084
00:50:11.719 --> 00:50:11.880
Yep.
1085
00:50:12.179 --> 00:50:15.320
The second thing is the built environment itself, the house,
1086
00:50:15.400 --> 00:50:17.940
the car, whatever. Start to arrange things, not just because
1087
00:50:18.099 --> 00:50:20.760
you think they're aesthetically nice, but how do you arrange
1088
00:50:20.780 --> 00:50:24.280
the right furniture, the right way to organize your kitchen
1089
00:50:24.320 --> 00:50:26.449
to make it so it's easy for you to maneuver
1090
00:50:26.610 --> 00:50:29.369
every day to reduce that friction? And the third one,
1091
00:50:29.389 --> 00:50:31.429
and this is the hardest, you can eat, you can
1092
00:50:31.449 --> 00:50:34.690
do nutrition, you can rearrange your lifestyle. The third one,
1093
00:50:35.349 --> 00:50:39.070
ask for help, ask for support. So think about yourself,
1094
00:50:39.690 --> 00:50:41.630
the environment, and the human element.
1095
00:50:41.769 --> 00:50:43.889
What I love about this episode that we're doing is
1096
00:50:43.949 --> 00:50:47.869
that you can use this episode as a resource. You
1097
00:50:47.909 --> 00:50:50.309
can send it with somebody in your life who is
1098
00:50:50.530 --> 00:50:53.250
older or send it to somebody in your life who's
1099
00:50:53.289 --> 00:50:56.300
younger who doesn't understand and use this as a way
1100
00:50:56.340 --> 00:50:59.659
to open up the conversation with the people in your
1101
00:50:59.719 --> 00:51:02.139
life about the support that you need.
1102
00:51:02.300 --> 00:51:04.719
Mel, you just put your finger on the most important
1103
00:51:04.780 --> 00:51:07.039
thing you could do to plan for a better longevity.
1104
00:51:07.820 --> 00:51:12.170
The conversation. There's no reason to feel that aging has
1105
00:51:12.210 --> 00:51:15.329
to be something you do alone. It's a conversation with
1106
00:51:15.349 --> 00:51:17.989
the people you love, the people that you call friends,
1107
00:51:18.610 --> 00:51:21.550
about how to rearrange the environment. What is it that
1108
00:51:21.639 --> 00:51:24.019
we can do to improve each other's lives?
1109
00:51:24.199 --> 00:51:26.380
I also love that we have this now as an
1110
00:51:26.440 --> 00:51:32.360
episode for doctors, physicians, therapists, nurses, people working in nursing
1111
00:51:32.420 --> 00:51:35.920
homes and schools to be able to send to families
1112
00:51:36.059 --> 00:51:38.619
as something to listen to so that you can have
1113
00:51:39.280 --> 00:51:44.219
the conversation in a very powerful and supportive and empathetic way.
1114
00:51:44.570 --> 00:51:47.570
And again, it's not about quote unquote, those old people.
1115
00:51:47.909 --> 00:51:49.760
This is something that we all have a vested interest in.
1116
00:51:49.769 --> 00:51:53.590
It's coming for all of us, everybody. There's no exit.
1117
00:51:53.690 --> 00:51:56.070
There's no exit. There's just how you move toward it.
1118
00:51:56.949 --> 00:51:57.269
Okay.
1119
00:51:57.650 --> 00:51:59.570
Well, I think you've had enough fun. It's time to
1120
00:51:59.590 --> 00:52:00.369
take the suit off.
1121
00:52:01.190 --> 00:52:05.360
Those are music to my ears. Dr.
1122
00:52:05.409 --> 00:52:09.480
Coughlin, has so much more specific advice when we return.
1123
00:52:09.760 --> 00:52:10.480
Don't go anywhere.
1124
00:52:17.559 --> 00:52:19.599
And find great offers on big brand vitamins. But hurry,
1125
00:52:19.619 --> 00:52:22.449
sale must end September 20. Chemist Warehouse, great savings every day.
1126
00:52:37.460 --> 00:52:43.300
Amazon presents Sophia's first overnight trip with Mikey. To prepare
1127
00:52:43.340 --> 00:52:47.469
for their romantic weekend in Paris, Sophia browsed Amazon, where
1128
00:52:47.550 --> 00:52:51.710
she found an eye mask, a Kindle, earplugs, and extra
1129
00:52:51.730 --> 00:52:52.650
cozy pajamas.
1130
00:52:53.030 --> 00:52:55.610
Perfect for winding down after a long day of walking.
1131
00:52:56.599 --> 00:52:57.679
Hang in there, Mikey.
1132
00:52:58.079 --> 00:53:01.019
Remember, there's nothing more romantic to Sophia than a good
1133
00:53:01.119 --> 00:53:01.739
night's sleep.
1134
00:53:02.340 --> 00:53:05.559
Now get her that chamomile tea. Find what you need
1135
00:53:05.599 --> 00:53:06.139
at Amazon.ie.
1136
00:53:07.519 --> 00:53:11.059
Discover Sentra Simple Savers, your go-to for great everyday value.
1137
00:53:11.260 --> 00:53:15.469
Like Easy Meal Selected Range 1.2kg, like Chicken Curry, € 7 each.
1138
00:53:15.849 --> 00:53:19.690
Selected Oreo Biscuits, € 1. 75 each. And Heineken 12 Bottle Pack,
1139
00:53:19.809 --> 00:53:24.380
only € 15. Enjoy simple prices on all your favourites. Sentra.
1140
00:53:24.599 --> 00:53:25.739
Live every day.
1141
00:53:25.980 --> 00:53:33.179
Enjoy alcohol sensibly. Welcome back.
1142
00:53:33.199 --> 00:53:35.059
It's your friend, Mel. Thank you for being here with
1143
00:53:35.079 --> 00:53:37.949
me today. Thank you for listening all the way to
1144
00:53:37.989 --> 00:53:41.250
this point and for sharing this extraordinary episode with people
1145
00:53:41.289 --> 00:53:43.730
in your life that you truly care about because we're
1146
00:53:43.769 --> 00:53:46.949
learning how to stay strong, sharp, and independent for 100 years.
1147
00:53:47.369 --> 00:53:50.570
With the number one longevity expert, I'm talking about MIT
1148
00:53:50.710 --> 00:53:52.159
Age Lab Director, Dr.
1149
00:53:52.239 --> 00:53:53.179
Joseph Coughlin.
1150
00:53:53.760 --> 00:53:56.199
And so we're going to start ripping off the Velcro.
1151
00:53:56.539 --> 00:53:58.579
You know, can I just say something? I can't even
1152
00:53:58.599 --> 00:54:01.179
get the damn Velcro off these weights, the weighted vest
1153
00:54:01.199 --> 00:54:02.239
with these gloves on.
1154
00:54:03.079 --> 00:54:05.460
Lauren's here to help you, but while you're taking this
1155
00:54:05.500 --> 00:54:06.079
suit off.
1156
00:54:06.500 --> 00:54:09.260
I can't get these weights off. This is so... It's
1157
00:54:09.320 --> 00:54:15.389
not that it's hard. It's so frustrating. You feel almost like...
1158
00:54:16.260 --> 00:54:18.039
I don't know, a little demoralized.
1159
00:54:18.719 --> 00:54:21.380
Did you have an aha moment though about being able
1160
00:54:21.420 --> 00:54:24.820
to see, frankly, this could be my future self and
1161
00:54:24.860 --> 00:54:28.070
now you're more empowered or wanting to go to the
1162
00:54:28.110 --> 00:54:28.670
gym perhaps?
1163
00:54:28.690 --> 00:54:29.809
Well, I don't want to do the interview.
1164
00:54:29.849 --> 00:54:31.809
I want to go do some weightlifting because I don't
1165
00:54:31.889 --> 00:54:33.449
want this to be my future.
1166
00:54:33.489 --> 00:54:35.550
And I know based on the research.
1167
00:54:35.090 --> 00:54:39.289
That If you stay active, and you can start at
1168
00:54:39.429 --> 00:54:42.320
any age, it helps your joints from getting stiff.
1169
00:54:42.389 --> 00:54:44.880
It helps your balance. It helps your.
1170
00:54:44.800 --> 00:54:49.019
Muscles be able to stay strong so that they're not
1171
00:54:49.199 --> 00:54:53.219
hanging off of you when creating all this extra weight.
1172
00:54:53.619 --> 00:54:56.030
And that it really is important. You know, we can
1173
00:54:56.090 --> 00:55:01.050
talk all we want about how... longevity, living a great life,
1174
00:55:01.130 --> 00:55:02.750
for me means, you know, I want to be able
1175
00:55:02.769 --> 00:55:06.550
to put my suitcase in the overhead when I'm traveling
1176
00:55:06.829 --> 00:55:09.090
to visit a grandchild in my 90s. I want to
1177
00:55:09.150 --> 00:55:11.230
dance at weddings. I want to be able to walk
1178
00:55:11.250 --> 00:55:14.139
with my friends. I want to be able to cook
1179
00:55:14.300 --> 00:55:16.389
and live independently if that's.
1180
00:55:16.239 --> 00:55:18.320
What I choose. It's funny, in older age, we often
1181
00:55:18.360 --> 00:55:20.500
think about, will I have enough money? But what you're
1182
00:55:20.539 --> 00:55:24.239
talking about is the real currency of longevity. The capacity
1183
00:55:24.280 --> 00:55:27.199
to put that suitcase up and go visit. Yes. Preferably
1184
00:55:27.260 --> 00:55:28.019
without a lot of help.
1185
00:55:28.320 --> 00:55:30.829
Well, and I'll take the help, but I don't want
1186
00:55:30.849 --> 00:55:33.030
to feel like I need it to like I can't
1187
00:55:33.050 --> 00:55:34.969
get the hand weights off. These are only two pounds
1188
00:55:35.010 --> 00:55:39.090
like that's nothing. And it feels like everything. And so
1189
00:55:39.110 --> 00:55:41.840
the big aha moment for me, again, in two areas.
1190
00:55:42.119 --> 00:55:43.920
One is for myself personally.
1191
00:55:44.280 --> 00:55:46.139
There are things I need to be doing and you
1192
00:55:46.179 --> 00:55:48.559
need to be doing as you listen to this or
1193
00:55:48.599 --> 00:55:53.889
watch this. that extend your life and the joy you
1194
00:55:53.929 --> 00:55:56.449
will feel and the energy you will have by decades.
1195
00:55:57.130 --> 00:56:00.329
And how it's not the, what is it? It's not
1196
00:56:00.389 --> 00:56:01.449
the years in your.
1197
00:56:01.349 --> 00:56:04.300
Life, it's the life in your years. And that's what
1198
00:56:04.340 --> 00:56:05.260
this is really about.
1199
00:56:05.340 --> 00:56:08.019
And the second thing is, I feel like a giant
1200
00:56:08.099 --> 00:56:13.179
schmucko for, I'm not kidding, for either being frustrated with
1201
00:56:13.320 --> 00:56:15.760
the people in my life that have gotten older or
1202
00:56:15.800 --> 00:56:20.320
being impatient. with somebody who is taking a little longer
1203
00:56:20.440 --> 00:56:23.300
or driving a little slower or walking a little slower
1204
00:56:23.320 --> 00:56:29.820
or being judgy of somebody who is asking about tech
1205
00:56:30.019 --> 00:56:33.619
or asking the same question again or doesn't like the
1206
00:56:33.679 --> 00:56:37.130
chair because it sits a little low and it's hard
1207
00:56:37.170 --> 00:56:39.269
to get out of and, you know, you like the
1208
00:56:39.309 --> 00:56:41.929
chair because it's nice. And so I just have had
1209
00:56:42.429 --> 00:56:46.010
two massive aha moments, one related to personal motivation and
1210
00:56:46.050 --> 00:56:47.750
why it matters at a deeper level.
1211
00:56:48.269 --> 00:56:51.130
It's not about bathing suits and fitting into pants.
1212
00:56:51.329 --> 00:56:55.489
It's about putting more joy and years into the life
1213
00:56:55.510 --> 00:56:56.010
that you have.
1214
00:56:56.070 --> 00:56:57.869
You've got more time. Now how do we cash that
1215
00:56:57.909 --> 00:57:01.210
time in to be joyful? And I'm hoping that through
1216
00:57:01.230 --> 00:57:03.889
your experience just now that there's another point. It's not
1217
00:57:03.929 --> 00:57:07.510
just about how we individually need to eat, exercise, and
1218
00:57:07.530 --> 00:57:10.469
all that to improve our personal function. But also people
1219
00:57:10.639 --> 00:57:13.900
often pursue behaviors because other people encourage them to do
1220
00:57:13.960 --> 00:57:16.400
it or other people around them are doing the same thing.
1221
00:57:16.739 --> 00:57:19.539
So if you're a younger adult child or something, the
1222
00:57:19.599 --> 00:57:22.730
idea of really give your parents or a loved one
1223
00:57:23.130 --> 00:57:25.610
a that a boy, that a girl for working out
1224
00:57:25.670 --> 00:57:28.429
or encourage them to work out. Yes. For their own good.
1225
00:57:28.550 --> 00:57:30.440
And frankly, if you're a caregiver for your good, too.
1226
00:57:30.449 --> 00:57:33.179
Well, we're going to talk more about caregiving and why
1227
00:57:33.280 --> 00:57:37.309
this works. matters so much for you if you're caring
1228
00:57:37.329 --> 00:57:40.130
for little kids, if you're caring for aging parents, why
1229
00:57:40.150 --> 00:57:43.800
it is so important that you figure out small ways
1230
00:57:43.860 --> 00:57:47.000
to take care of yourself. And by taking care of yourself,
1231
00:57:47.019 --> 00:57:50.519
we're talking sleep. We're talking you making time to still exercise.
1232
00:57:50.559 --> 00:57:52.969
We're talking about you eating what you need to eat.
1233
00:57:53.639 --> 00:57:57.349
you finding one point every week where you're doing something
1234
00:57:57.369 --> 00:58:00.489
just for you, whether it's reading a book, or going
1235
00:58:00.510 --> 00:58:03.190
to a spiritual thing, just shimmy that sucker right off,
1236
00:58:03.230 --> 00:58:05.650
there we go. Couldn't get the belt off, everybody, even
1237
00:58:05.710 --> 00:58:09.179
without the hand restraints. With my own hands, I wasn't
1238
00:58:09.199 --> 00:58:10.380
that good at it. All right, we're gonna take off
1239
00:58:10.420 --> 00:58:10.900
the suit.
1240
00:58:10.940 --> 00:58:13.480
You're gonna feel a momentary relief as soon as this
1241
00:58:13.599 --> 00:58:14.260
all starts coming off.
1242
00:58:14.280 --> 00:58:16.880
Oh my God, you guys. I have to get this
1243
00:58:16.940 --> 00:58:17.900
weighted vest off.
1244
00:58:18.760 --> 00:58:20.320
Boy, you can't wait.
1245
00:58:21.010 --> 00:58:21.989
How do I get this off?
1246
00:58:22.030 --> 00:58:22.309
Okay.
1247
00:58:24.250 --> 00:58:27.090
Oh, my gosh. Wow.
1248
00:58:28.150 --> 00:58:28.710
Wow.
1249
00:58:30.010 --> 00:58:33.929
Wow. Get these Crocs off. Careful. I want to feel
1250
00:58:34.010 --> 00:58:35.840
my feet on the ground.
1251
00:58:35.860 --> 00:58:36.300
Yep.
1252
00:58:36.440 --> 00:58:38.679
Steady. Steady. Steady.
1253
00:58:38.980 --> 00:58:39.800
Oh, my God.
1254
00:58:40.579 --> 00:58:41.860
Get these goggles off.
1255
00:58:41.880 --> 00:58:43.099
Get your glasses back on.
1256
00:58:43.099 --> 00:58:46.960
Get my glasses back on. Holy cow. I feel like
1257
00:58:47.000 --> 00:58:47.880
a completely different person.
1258
00:58:47.900 --> 00:58:49.659
See, Lauren looks really sweet, but see what she does
1259
00:58:49.699 --> 00:58:50.880
to a person in five minutes?
1260
00:58:52.539 --> 00:58:57.980
It's weird how different that was. I don't want that
1261
00:58:58.019 --> 00:58:58.760
to be what happens.
1262
00:58:58.840 --> 00:58:59.800
So you got to work for it.
1263
00:59:00.679 --> 00:59:01.599
You got to work for it.
1264
00:59:01.659 --> 00:59:05.820
I think now that you understand what's coming, it's important
1265
00:59:05.840 --> 00:59:10.489
to understand what you're working for and that the body
1266
00:59:10.710 --> 00:59:12.809
and the human.
1267
00:59:12.570 --> 00:59:13.750
Body is incredible.
1268
00:59:14.530 --> 00:59:17.570
I like to think about the fact that we're all
1269
00:59:17.610 --> 00:59:20.159
like wilting plants in the corner. A little bit of
1270
00:59:20.179 --> 00:59:22.199
sun and water would perk right back up. And I
1271
00:59:22.219 --> 00:59:25.340
think that's true about sleep and movement and resistance training
1272
00:59:25.380 --> 00:59:26.039
and exercise.
1273
00:59:26.079 --> 00:59:27.599
And by the way, it's not just what we're doing
1274
00:59:27.659 --> 00:59:32.769
for ourselves. We invest financially for our own security so
1275
00:59:32.789 --> 00:59:36.949
that we're not a burden on others. Investing in yourself physically, nutritionally,
1276
00:59:37.030 --> 00:59:41.889
cognitively is an investment for others as well. Look, aging
1277
00:59:42.150 --> 00:59:45.679
is inevitable. How you age is not necessarily so.
1278
00:59:46.010 --> 00:59:48.179
And how we support the people around us who are
1279
00:59:48.280 --> 00:59:50.400
aging is 1000% your control.
1280
00:59:50.579 --> 00:59:51.019
Exactly.
1281
00:59:51.079 --> 00:59:54.440
And that's one of the biggest things that this experience
1282
00:59:54.480 --> 00:59:58.000
has taught me that I have major amount of changing
1283
00:59:58.039 --> 01:00:03.090
to do. personally so i want to unpack this like
1284
01:00:03.150 --> 01:00:04.989
step by step by step to make sure that as
1285
01:00:05.010 --> 01:00:08.630
you've been listening or you've been watching that you really
1286
01:00:08.789 --> 01:00:13.179
get the most important takeaways for you and yourself personally
1287
01:00:13.280 --> 01:00:15.460
and also for your family and the people that you
1288
01:00:15.480 --> 01:00:17.139
care about because i know this is going to be
1289
01:00:17.199 --> 01:00:21.340
one of these conversations that spreads around the world and
1290
01:00:21.559 --> 01:00:24.699
creates so much positive change for people personally and within
1291
01:00:24.739 --> 01:00:26.719
their families so let's go back in the studio sounds
1292
01:00:26.739 --> 01:00:29.920
like a plan So we are back in the studio
1293
01:00:30.360 --> 01:00:34.769
and everybody on the team, Dr. Coughlin has come up
1294
01:00:34.809 --> 01:00:38.750
to me since doing the suit and just said, you know,
1295
01:00:38.789 --> 01:00:40.929
what was that like? Holy cow. It was unbelievable to
1296
01:00:40.949 --> 01:00:43.610
see you do that. And I really did feel like
1297
01:00:43.650 --> 01:00:44.170
my grandmother.
1298
01:00:44.650 --> 01:00:48.099
Is it a perfect simulation? No, but it's close enough
1299
01:00:48.139 --> 01:00:50.719
to give you that aha for your grandmother or frankly,
1300
01:00:50.760 --> 01:00:52.960
the way my students, the researchers and the companies we
1301
01:00:53.000 --> 01:00:55.019
work with is to give them a sense of what
1302
01:00:55.059 --> 01:00:57.510
it's like to walk in that consumer's shoes, whether it's
1303
01:00:57.530 --> 01:01:00.489
senior living, the drugstore, frankly, just going out to eat.
1304
01:01:00.909 --> 01:01:05.750
I have to ask you, how prepared are people in
1305
01:01:05.849 --> 01:01:11.289
general for facing the phase of life where it's retirement
1306
01:01:11.590 --> 01:01:15.500
or your capacity to move through your life is starting
1307
01:01:15.599 --> 01:01:16.460
to decline?
1308
01:01:16.920 --> 01:01:18.840
The fact of the matter is that most of us
1309
01:01:19.719 --> 01:01:23.239
plan for retirement. but we don't prepare for retirement. It
1310
01:01:23.280 --> 01:01:24.940
sounds like a word game. I don't mean it to be.
1311
01:01:25.760 --> 01:01:27.960
I want you to think about this. Planning is much
1312
01:01:28.019 --> 01:01:31.829
like a grocery list. It's the intent to eat. But
1313
01:01:31.929 --> 01:01:34.070
anyone who's in charge of shopping, shall we say, we
1314
01:01:34.369 --> 01:01:36.289
know that until it's in the cart, in the cabinet,
1315
01:01:36.309 --> 01:01:39.269
or frankly, on the plate, you're not eating. And that's
1316
01:01:39.309 --> 01:01:44.059
the preparedness. The preparedness part is, are you aware of
1317
01:01:44.099 --> 01:01:46.420
the things you need to do? Are you giving it
1318
01:01:46.440 --> 01:01:49.940
a little attention? Then ultimately, are you taking action? And
1319
01:01:50.019 --> 01:01:52.679
so bottom line is we are not prepared very well
1320
01:01:52.719 --> 01:01:53.000
at all.
1321
01:01:53.659 --> 01:01:55.139
And what do you want us to know about what's
1322
01:01:55.179 --> 01:01:55.980
actually possible?
1323
01:01:56.340 --> 01:01:59.300
Think about this. The 30 extra years we have gained
1324
01:01:59.360 --> 01:02:02.639
in longevity since the year 1900, that's a dividend to
1325
01:02:02.679 --> 01:02:06.679
be cashed in, not something to be wallowing sadness about.
1326
01:02:07.300 --> 01:02:08.840
So what I want people to think about is that
1327
01:02:09.119 --> 01:02:12.130
the joy that they can achieve, the daily moments, but
1328
01:02:12.150 --> 01:02:16.260
more importantly, being prepared is not just about being, you know, good,
1329
01:02:16.340 --> 01:02:19.280
rational person. It's also an act of love, an act
1330
01:02:19.320 --> 01:02:21.420
of love for yourself, an act of love for those
1331
01:02:21.440 --> 01:02:22.480
that you love and the like.
1332
01:02:22.780 --> 01:02:25.639
For the person who's in the state that I am in,
1333
01:02:25.940 --> 01:02:28.159
all of my friends are in right now. We're all
1334
01:02:28.239 --> 01:02:31.570
talking about it. We're trying to gently open the door
1335
01:02:31.610 --> 01:02:35.030
and have the conversation. I'm grateful that you're here because
1336
01:02:35.050 --> 01:02:38.190
this episode is a wonderful way to open the door.
1337
01:02:38.969 --> 01:02:42.289
But what's one step that the person listening or watching
1338
01:02:42.369 --> 01:02:49.920
can take to start having this conversation about setting somebody
1339
01:02:50.239 --> 01:02:53.989
up to age well and have all these components in
1340
01:02:54.070 --> 01:02:55.230
place so that you can?
1341
01:02:55.349 --> 01:03:00.309
You know, for the most important technology out there is
1342
01:03:00.369 --> 01:03:03.650
the conversation. It's not an app, it's not a gee whiz,
1343
01:03:03.670 --> 01:03:07.079
it's not genetics or space travel. It really is the conversation.
1344
01:03:07.099 --> 01:03:09.280
And one of the things I want you to think about,
1345
01:03:09.300 --> 01:03:12.269
I want everyone to think about, is that we do
1346
01:03:12.349 --> 01:03:15.489
not have a story for old age. We have a
1347
01:03:15.570 --> 01:03:18.820
story that old age is somewhere between cruises and crutches,
1348
01:03:18.840 --> 01:03:23.019
and we forget all the chapters in between. And so
1349
01:03:23.059 --> 01:03:25.360
my team at the MIT Age Lab did some awesome
1350
01:03:25.420 --> 01:03:27.780
work with our partners at John Hancock to develop a
1351
01:03:28.179 --> 01:03:33.039
map of what longevity is going to be like. In fairness,
1352
01:03:33.400 --> 01:03:36.340
we've never had a generation of people living this long
1353
01:03:36.400 --> 01:03:40.429
with this high of expectations, with not just one generation
1354
01:03:40.510 --> 01:03:43.269
caring for another. We all talk about the sandwich generation.
1355
01:03:43.769 --> 01:03:45.800
The heck with that. There's no sandwich generation. We have
1356
01:03:45.820 --> 01:03:49.449
a panini generation now. Because people in their 60s are
1357
01:03:49.510 --> 01:03:51.829
caring for parents in their 80s and 90s. And by
1358
01:03:51.869 --> 01:03:55.409
the way, that 40-something-year-old mom with kids and working full-time
1359
01:03:55.429 --> 01:03:57.530
is worried about the 60-year-old as much as she's worrying
1360
01:03:57.550 --> 01:04:01.889
about the grandparents. So suddenly, this is new. We've always
1361
01:04:01.909 --> 01:04:05.449
had older people, but not with this much time and expectation.
1362
01:04:05.489 --> 01:04:09.849
So we created this idea of a longevity preparedness index.
1363
01:04:10.409 --> 01:04:12.690
And so we pooled all this research from around the
1364
01:04:12.730 --> 01:04:14.369
world and stuff we've been doing at the lab for
1365
01:04:14.369 --> 01:04:19.199
25 years. And we found eight different dimensions to start
1366
01:04:19.239 --> 01:04:21.119
that conversation that we're talking about.
1367
01:04:21.260 --> 01:04:23.940
And we're going to go through the longevity preparedness index.
1368
01:04:24.000 --> 01:04:26.280
There are eight different stages. Eight dimensions.
1369
01:04:26.480 --> 01:04:29.260
All right, so let's look at those eight dimensions. First
1370
01:04:29.360 --> 01:04:32.289
one is the obvious one. And certainly with Agnes, you
1371
01:04:32.309 --> 01:04:35.789
can appreciate this, is the health-related issue. Are you pursuing
1372
01:04:35.829 --> 01:04:40.250
behaviors and nutrition that make sense? Finance? Hey, when you
1373
01:04:40.269 --> 01:04:42.949
think about old age and retirement, basically the entire world
1374
01:04:42.989 --> 01:04:45.269
has you believing it's either health Or it's wealth.
1375
01:04:45.389 --> 01:04:47.369
That's true. That's all you think about, health and wealth.
1376
01:04:47.429 --> 01:04:49.750
Those are the bookends. But think about all those chapters
1377
01:04:49.809 --> 01:04:51.650
in between. So finance is certainly an important part.
1378
01:04:51.670 --> 01:04:53.929
And those are just the first two. So first one
1379
01:04:53.989 --> 01:04:56.659
is health. Second one is finance. And now what are
1380
01:04:56.679 --> 01:04:56.980
the other six?
1381
01:04:56.989 --> 01:04:58.519
And by the way, this is not priority, but this
1382
01:04:58.539 --> 01:05:01.340
is just the list. I know you're interviewing me, but
1383
01:05:01.360 --> 01:05:02.679
I'm going to ask you the question. What's the most
1384
01:05:02.739 --> 01:05:04.219
important number in your old age?
1385
01:05:05.579 --> 01:05:06.139
I don't know.
1386
01:05:06.199 --> 01:05:09.139
It's not your 401k balance. It's not your blood pressure,
1387
01:05:09.159 --> 01:05:09.980
your cholesterol.
1388
01:05:10.039 --> 01:05:11.619
Is it the number of people I'm living with?
1389
01:05:12.039 --> 01:05:15.769
Actually, it's your zip code. Your zip code predicts everything
1390
01:05:15.849 --> 01:05:18.530
from the access to the people that you love, the
1391
01:05:18.590 --> 01:05:20.889
things that you need, to that ice cream cone that
1392
01:05:20.909 --> 01:05:23.190
we were talking about. In fact, do you know that
1393
01:05:23.210 --> 01:05:25.639
studies have been done that shows that zip codes right
1394
01:05:25.739 --> 01:05:28.940
next to each other can mean 9 to 13 years
1395
01:05:29.059 --> 01:05:31.000
difference in your longevity overall?
1396
01:05:31.320 --> 01:05:31.820
Really?
1397
01:05:31.840 --> 01:05:36.179
So the third dimension is community. Choose well. Choose where
1398
01:05:36.219 --> 01:05:36.619
you live.
1399
01:05:36.739 --> 01:05:38.010
We all want to know the zip codes.
1400
01:05:38.199 --> 01:05:41.710
So I teach urban planning, so I'll say it's intensity, density,
1401
01:05:41.730 --> 01:05:45.280
and accessibility. Intensity is, are there things to do that
1402
01:05:45.320 --> 01:05:49.179
are fun, that kind of keep you alive? But also
1403
01:05:49.239 --> 01:05:52.840
the things you need, access to transportation, access to health care.
1404
01:05:53.219 --> 01:05:56.800
And by the way, access to volunteering work and the
1405
01:05:56.880 --> 01:06:00.179
parks and the like. Density, are they close enough where
1406
01:06:00.199 --> 01:06:02.099
you can get to them? If you choose not to drive,
1407
01:06:02.159 --> 01:06:05.030
can't drive, are they nearby? That ice cream cone that's
1408
01:06:05.090 --> 01:06:08.309
too far away, you don't need it. But boy, that
1409
01:06:08.489 --> 01:06:09.849
doesn't bring a smile to your face.
1410
01:06:09.909 --> 01:06:10.110
Yeah.
1411
01:06:10.500 --> 01:06:13.019
And then, frankly, the accessibility part, which is, you know,
1412
01:06:13.079 --> 01:06:18.289
how accessible are these things both physically and affordability and
1413
01:06:18.309 --> 01:06:21.150
the like? And I'll even give you a tool. AARP's
1414
01:06:21.170 --> 01:06:23.650
got a livability index where you can pop in a
1415
01:06:23.690 --> 01:06:25.869
zip code, and it will give you a score as
1416
01:06:25.909 --> 01:06:29.050
to what the livability is of that given community that
1417
01:06:29.070 --> 01:06:31.449
you may be planning for. or frankly, the one that
1418
01:06:31.469 --> 01:06:32.179
you live in now.
1419
01:06:32.570 --> 01:06:34.280
And it makes sense. Like, as I'm sitting here thinking,
1420
01:06:34.340 --> 01:06:36.420
I live in Southern Vermont. I have to drive everywhere.
1421
01:06:36.579 --> 01:06:38.139
I don't see another house from where I live.
1422
01:06:38.340 --> 01:06:40.380
I'm in a rural area, even though I'm just like
1423
01:06:40.400 --> 01:06:42.900
a couple miles from a really nice town with all
1424
01:06:42.940 --> 01:06:44.590
the things that I could possibly need. I can't get
1425
01:06:44.639 --> 01:06:48.159
there unless I want to walk for two hours or I...
1426
01:06:49.170 --> 01:06:51.389
I'm in a car and I'm thinking, okay, I can
1427
01:06:51.429 --> 01:06:53.090
only live here for so long that I'm going to
1428
01:06:53.110 --> 01:06:55.190
have to go somewhere else. This is not a good
1429
01:06:55.230 --> 01:06:57.130
retirement option unless I have kids all over.
1430
01:06:57.530 --> 01:07:01.050
Part of aging well is choosing where to age is
1431
01:07:01.150 --> 01:07:04.829
one of the most important things. Fourth one is home.
1432
01:07:05.690 --> 01:07:08.670
Is your home going to support you? Whether it's not
1433
01:07:08.690 --> 01:07:12.570
just about stairs, but it's about maintenance, about how difficult
1434
01:07:12.670 --> 01:07:15.760
is it to remain in that home overall? The next one,
1435
01:07:15.980 --> 01:07:19.800
life transitions. How well are we prepared for the transitions
1436
01:07:19.840 --> 01:07:23.320
we have in life from retirement to caregiving to having
1437
01:07:23.380 --> 01:07:25.619
to move and the like? Have we thought about how
1438
01:07:25.639 --> 01:07:26.800
we're going to do that, who we're going to do
1439
01:07:26.840 --> 01:07:30.469
it with? Daily activities. This is the Tuesday morning question
1440
01:07:30.510 --> 01:07:32.929
at 1030. What are the things, have you thought about
1441
01:07:33.010 --> 01:07:34.739
what you're going to be doing on any given day
1442
01:07:35.090 --> 01:07:38.670
without the structure of work, without having the structure of caregiving,
1443
01:07:38.789 --> 01:07:44.190
kids and the like? Social connection. Again, the social portfolio idea.
1444
01:07:44.590 --> 01:07:46.670
So we talk about what's in your wallet, what's in
1445
01:07:46.710 --> 01:07:50.090
your portfolio. And the last one is caregiving. And probably
1446
01:07:50.110 --> 01:07:54.329
the biggest thing that was overwhelming is caregiving had the
1447
01:07:54.409 --> 01:07:58.030
lowest score in terms of people being prepared to provide
1448
01:07:58.170 --> 01:08:01.090
care for another. That one was a 42.
1449
01:08:01.090 --> 01:08:03.969
Oh, you are flunking out of school if you're getting
1450
01:08:03.989 --> 01:08:04.289
a 42.
1451
01:08:04.289 --> 01:08:07.130
And what's amazing about that, to quote Rosalind Carter, or
1452
01:08:07.150 --> 01:08:09.230
to paraphrase her, one of the things that she said
1453
01:08:09.289 --> 01:08:11.800
is that at some point in life, all of us
1454
01:08:11.860 --> 01:08:16.500
will either be a care recipient or a caregiver. The
1455
01:08:16.520 --> 01:08:19.060
problem is, Mel, we don't have the conversations. Our same
1456
01:08:19.119 --> 01:08:22.659
study with Hancock indicated 70% of us believe that our
1457
01:08:22.699 --> 01:08:26.109
significant other or our adult child will provide us with care.
1458
01:08:26.810 --> 01:08:30.489
Only 30% of us have had the conversation. So it's
1459
01:08:30.510 --> 01:08:32.649
like going to your typically, and I keep on hammering
1460
01:08:32.670 --> 01:08:36.609
the adult daughters, I'm sorry, guys, but yes, men are caregivers,
1461
01:08:36.649 --> 01:08:39.310
but overwhelmingly, the number one caregiver in your life is
1462
01:08:39.329 --> 01:08:42.340
your spouse, and after that, the oldest adult daughter. Without
1463
01:08:42.359 --> 01:08:45.329
that conversation, It's like, surprise, I'm home.
1464
01:08:45.850 --> 01:08:48.550
For the person who's listening, and you're part of the
1465
01:08:48.550 --> 01:08:52.510
70% of people who have not had the conversation, or
1466
01:08:52.529 --> 01:08:56.869
you've tried and you got nowhere, what is the best
1467
01:08:57.050 --> 01:08:58.250
first step, Dr.
1468
01:08:58.289 --> 01:09:00.630
Coughlin, to begin the conversation? conversation?
1469
01:09:01.029 --> 01:09:03.069
I would cut it down to, shall we say, some
1470
01:09:03.189 --> 01:09:08.619
simple questions overall. You have a conversation, multiple, because there's
1471
01:09:08.640 --> 01:09:13.880
no one and done. This is going to continue. About who, where, what,
1472
01:09:14.500 --> 01:09:17.899
and how. So the who part is, you know, kind
1473
01:09:17.939 --> 01:09:20.960
of gently go into... Who is going to provide care?
1474
01:09:21.399 --> 01:09:23.720
Who do you think is going to provide care? Who's
1475
01:09:23.739 --> 01:09:28.979
going to help with the hands-on caregiving we're talking about overall?
1476
01:09:29.500 --> 01:09:31.340
But there's another side of who. A lot of us
1477
01:09:31.399 --> 01:09:34.819
have somebody to care for us for medications and dressing
1478
01:09:34.859 --> 01:09:37.600
and around the house. But also, who's going to make
1479
01:09:37.640 --> 01:09:41.199
the decisions? Who do you want making decisions if you can't?
1480
01:09:41.600 --> 01:09:44.899
So those are two different conversations that need to be
1481
01:09:44.960 --> 01:09:47.939
had gently over time, but they need to be had.
1482
01:09:48.739 --> 01:09:51.800
How about the where? When it comes time for caregiving,
1483
01:09:52.199 --> 01:09:54.479
where do you want that care to happen? Do you
1484
01:09:54.520 --> 01:09:57.039
want home care? Do you want to come live with
1485
01:09:57.079 --> 01:10:00.340
your adult children? Do you want to be in senior living?
1486
01:10:01.060 --> 01:10:03.689
What are the values, if you will, about the where?
1487
01:10:04.439 --> 01:10:07.550
And by the way, the what overall is, and this
1488
01:10:07.609 --> 01:10:11.489
is the hardest conversation, what matters? How about dignity? What
1489
01:10:11.510 --> 01:10:13.829
are you willing to put up with to either maintain
1490
01:10:13.850 --> 01:10:17.039
your life, extend your life, and the like? And then
1491
01:10:17.060 --> 01:10:19.699
there's the obvious question that everyone goes to first, the how.
1492
01:10:20.159 --> 01:10:22.539
How do we pay for this? How are the mechanics?
1493
01:10:23.140 --> 01:10:26.939
So when we have the conversation, it's multiple. It's who, where, what,
1494
01:10:27.239 --> 01:10:27.600
and how.
1495
01:10:28.100 --> 01:10:28.579
You know, Dr.
1496
01:10:28.619 --> 01:10:32.010
Coughlin, when you talked about this longevity preparedness index and
1497
01:10:32.029 --> 01:10:37.390
you found after doing this massive study and you discovered
1498
01:10:37.449 --> 01:10:41.390
that the area where people are the least prepared is caregiving,
1499
01:10:42.010 --> 01:10:45.399
that 70% of us have not even had the conversation yet.
1500
01:10:46.109 --> 01:10:49.670
And that based on the research and common sense, it
1501
01:10:49.750 --> 01:10:53.680
tends to fall based on catastrophe to the oldest daughter.
1502
01:10:53.800 --> 01:10:54.000
Yes.
1503
01:10:54.279 --> 01:10:57.500
Do you have insight into why is it the eldest
1504
01:10:57.560 --> 01:11:00.539
daughter that tends to be the one that the caregiving
1505
01:11:00.600 --> 01:11:01.279
falls to?
1506
01:11:02.100 --> 01:11:06.640
Look, it's unfair. It's not about gender. It's not about biology.
1507
01:11:06.960 --> 01:11:13.380
It's about role. And traditionally across cultures, women tend to
1508
01:11:13.460 --> 01:11:17.590
be the caregiver. look, I don't want to indict my
1509
01:11:17.670 --> 01:11:21.130
gender of guys. We will clean your gutters. We may
1510
01:11:21.229 --> 01:11:23.720
help you with your finances. I'll take out your trash.
1511
01:11:24.880 --> 01:11:28.460
Generally speaking, and I said generally, so please don't get
1512
01:11:28.500 --> 01:11:32.020
all excited there. Generally speaking, it will be the older
1513
01:11:32.060 --> 01:11:33.840
adult daughter. It's going to help you when you need
1514
01:11:33.859 --> 01:11:37.119
to get dressed. So it tends to be a role there.
1515
01:11:37.500 --> 01:11:40.039
But I have to tell you, while caregiving has great
1516
01:11:40.119 --> 01:11:43.479
joys and rewards, and you hear caregivers say after the
1517
01:11:43.539 --> 01:11:46.029
loved one has passed, It was the most important, most
1518
01:11:46.109 --> 01:11:49.710
thing they've ever done. There is a cost. It's physical.
1519
01:11:50.250 --> 01:11:54.350
It's emotional. And indeed, it's also financial. And she is
1520
01:11:54.390 --> 01:11:56.170
more likely to pay for it than anybody else.
1521
01:11:56.909 --> 01:12:00.060
I think this is one of those conversations that people
1522
01:12:00.100 --> 01:12:02.420
are going to listen to and be moved by and
1523
01:12:02.479 --> 01:12:07.840
then share it inside their family. If the person that's
1524
01:12:07.880 --> 01:12:10.899
listening right now got this sent to them by somebody
1525
01:12:11.100 --> 01:12:14.100
in their family, what do you want them to know
1526
01:12:15.119 --> 01:12:18.899
in terms of the invitation that's here right now about
1527
01:12:18.939 --> 01:12:22.529
your role to play, whether it's in your own aging
1528
01:12:22.810 --> 01:12:27.170
or it's in your role to play related to how
1529
01:12:27.229 --> 01:12:29.289
somebody in your family may be aging?
1530
01:12:30.289 --> 01:12:32.390
You know, there are a few things, and my team
1531
01:12:32.430 --> 01:12:35.789
at the MIT Age Lab has a panel of caregivers.
1532
01:12:36.170 --> 01:12:38.869
We call it CareHive, so several thousand caregivers around the
1533
01:12:38.909 --> 01:12:42.640
world that we tend to ask them about those micro
1534
01:12:42.680 --> 01:12:46.869
moments of caregiving. And when my team came up with
1535
01:12:46.890 --> 01:12:50.829
the idea, I did not want to do it. I said, really, guys?
1536
01:12:50.989 --> 01:12:53.109
These people are busy. They're stressed. And you want to
1537
01:12:53.149 --> 01:12:56.470
hammer them with focus groups, surveys, whatever? One of the
1538
01:12:56.489 --> 01:13:00.350
things that we learned, the caregivers wanted to participate. Because
1539
01:13:00.399 --> 01:13:03.680
here's a question no one ever asks the caregiver. How
1540
01:13:03.760 --> 01:13:06.779
are you doing? Not just the loved one that they're
1541
01:13:06.819 --> 01:13:09.750
caring for, but how are you doing? And so that
1542
01:13:09.810 --> 01:13:13.369
little study that's ongoing, asking people not just what you're doing,
1543
01:13:13.390 --> 01:13:14.970
but how you're doing. So one of the things to
1544
01:13:15.010 --> 01:13:17.409
think about is make sure that you're asking how they're
1545
01:13:17.430 --> 01:13:22.770
doing and helping them care for themselves. Because the cost,
1546
01:13:22.829 --> 01:13:25.229
as I mentioned, is the physical. Do you know that
1547
01:13:25.550 --> 01:13:32.149
caregivers are more likely to express fatigue, headache, and like emotionally, depression,
1548
01:13:32.670 --> 01:13:36.289
feeling alone, and financial. And this is the really hard
1549
01:13:36.350 --> 01:13:39.149
work that we've been doing with the financial services industry.
1550
01:13:39.779 --> 01:13:41.779
Women are more likely to either step out of a
1551
01:13:41.800 --> 01:13:43.979
job entirely because they're having to care for a loved
1552
01:13:44.060 --> 01:13:47.430
one full time or not take a promotion because the
1553
01:13:47.470 --> 01:13:49.609
promotion may have travel and I've got to make sure
1554
01:13:49.649 --> 01:13:52.149
I take care of mom overall or because of the
1555
01:13:52.250 --> 01:13:55.770
financial cost of caregiving. Even if that loved one has finances,
1556
01:13:56.310 --> 01:13:59.050
it's going to set her back. So women effectively have
1557
01:13:59.069 --> 01:14:03.210
a triple threat. They're caring for others. They're jeopardizing their
1558
01:14:03.229 --> 01:14:05.569
own finances, which means that by the time the third,
1559
01:14:05.670 --> 01:14:07.729
they get to their own old age, they are not
1560
01:14:07.789 --> 01:14:09.050
prepared for their own old age.
1561
01:14:10.039 --> 01:14:13.300
I hadn't even thought about the financial impact, because even
1562
01:14:13.359 --> 01:14:15.510
if you're caring for somebody who's aging who has their
1563
01:14:15.550 --> 01:14:19.050
own money, it's compromising your ability to make money.
1564
01:14:19.510 --> 01:14:21.750
One in four families in the United States, and even
1565
01:14:21.789 --> 01:14:24.869
more so in Europe and the like, provide upwards of
1566
01:14:24.869 --> 01:14:28.119
25 to 29 hours a week for caregiving. If you're
1567
01:14:28.199 --> 01:14:31.800
over 50, one in three families are providing upwards of
1568
01:14:31.800 --> 01:14:34.359
25 to 29 hours a week for caregiving. This is
1569
01:14:34.399 --> 01:14:37.300
a personal issue that should be a public problem, a
1570
01:14:37.340 --> 01:14:41.149
public discussion. But here's the thing, Mel. Women tend to
1571
01:14:41.229 --> 01:14:43.579
find a partner or marry someone who's a few years
1572
01:14:43.680 --> 01:14:46.479
older than they are. They also tend to live seven
1573
01:14:46.500 --> 01:14:49.760
to eight years longer. That means that while you're planning
1574
01:14:49.819 --> 01:14:53.720
for old age and retirement together, she lives in second
1575
01:14:53.800 --> 01:14:58.569
retirement of a decade alone. And so preparing for all
1576
01:14:58.630 --> 01:15:02.210
the years that she gave to everyone else, she now
1577
01:15:02.270 --> 01:15:05.229
needs to make sure she's financially, emotionally, and physically cared
1578
01:15:05.270 --> 01:15:06.510
for in older age.
1579
01:15:07.630 --> 01:15:11.529
What are the top three things challenges, frictions, if you will,
1580
01:15:11.550 --> 01:15:12.770
that caregivers face?
1581
01:15:13.050 --> 01:15:16.819
Caregivers are more likely to point to, first one, health.
1582
01:15:17.319 --> 01:15:20.439
Not just managing health, but the complexity of managing the health.
1583
01:15:20.539 --> 01:15:23.649
When you start managing three, four, five, more likely seven
1584
01:15:23.670 --> 01:15:26.539
medications a day, You may have a loved one who's
1585
01:15:26.579 --> 01:15:29.579
not exactly being as compliant as you wish. You know,
1586
01:15:29.619 --> 01:15:31.340
the person who said that they're feeling dizzy and not
1587
01:15:31.380 --> 01:15:33.199
well on weekend, you take them to the doctor on
1588
01:15:33.239 --> 01:15:36.420
Monday morning, you're trying to be their advocate and they're going, oh, no,
1589
01:15:36.439 --> 01:15:38.779
I was fine. I'm not, you know, so you're kind
1590
01:15:38.800 --> 01:15:43.520
of in that middle ground. Second one is largely around finance.
1591
01:15:44.050 --> 01:15:46.250
You know, it's interesting. We are more willing to talk
1592
01:15:46.289 --> 01:15:50.850
about our health, our caregiving, our failures than we are
1593
01:15:50.909 --> 01:15:55.109
about our money. And at some point, a family member,
1594
01:15:55.220 --> 01:15:58.380
hopefully one that you trust because fraud and scams are
1595
01:15:58.420 --> 01:16:00.899
more likely to come from someone close to you than someone,
1596
01:16:00.920 --> 01:16:02.699
you know, in a foreign country over online.
1597
01:16:02.720 --> 01:16:05.260
Wait, the scams are more likely to come from somebody
1598
01:16:05.300 --> 01:16:06.020
close to you?
1599
01:16:06.220 --> 01:16:09.729
Unfortunately, you've got a lot of fraud that you have
1600
01:16:09.810 --> 01:16:13.409
with family members, caregivers that mean well and eventually do
1601
01:16:13.470 --> 01:16:16.229
not mean well. And that's a major point of research
1602
01:16:16.649 --> 01:16:21.250
at the Age Lab right now. So the financial considerations of...
1603
01:16:21.619 --> 01:16:25.199
How are things organized? Where do I have the ability
1604
01:16:25.279 --> 01:16:27.359
to make a decision for you if you can no
1605
01:16:27.399 --> 01:16:30.260
longer do it? And how do you have the conversation
1606
01:16:30.279 --> 01:16:32.770
when somebody says, no, that's none of your business, even
1607
01:16:32.829 --> 01:16:34.529
if the person's meaning well?
1608
01:16:34.949 --> 01:16:36.109
Wow. And what's the third?
1609
01:16:36.189 --> 01:16:37.750
The third one is the one that is kind of
1610
01:16:37.789 --> 01:16:41.210
the sleeping giant because this has been consistent for more
1611
01:16:41.250 --> 01:16:45.109
than 60 years of aging research and caregiving. The third
1612
01:16:45.229 --> 01:16:48.770
one is transportation. In fact, Mel, I'll give you a
1613
01:16:48.810 --> 01:16:51.550
data point that even the best financial advisor does not know.
1614
01:16:52.069 --> 01:16:55.189
Do you know the top three costs of retirement for
1615
01:16:55.229 --> 01:16:59.250
a couple over 65? Everybody always jumps up healthcare. Okay,
1616
01:16:59.270 --> 01:17:04.229
that's number two. First one is home. Number three is transportation.
1617
01:17:04.229 --> 01:17:08.119
70% of Americans over age 50 live in suburban and
1618
01:17:08.159 --> 01:17:10.779
rural areas where there's no transit or it's not transit
1619
01:17:10.800 --> 01:17:14.479
you want to use or there's no alternatives. So caregivers
1620
01:17:14.649 --> 01:17:16.869
often report that the big challenge they have for that
1621
01:17:16.930 --> 01:17:19.609
number three is, God, I got to take time from
1622
01:17:19.670 --> 01:17:21.710
work to make sure mom gets to the doctor or
1623
01:17:21.770 --> 01:17:24.119
Saturday morning. I have a lot of things I need
1624
01:17:24.140 --> 01:17:25.619
to do. I got to go take the kids to
1625
01:17:25.800 --> 01:17:27.640
practice or whatever it might be. But also I got
1626
01:17:27.659 --> 01:17:29.340
to make sure mom gets to the grocery store. I
1627
01:17:29.359 --> 01:17:31.279
got to check in on mom to make sure, you know,
1628
01:17:31.319 --> 01:17:32.880
I can help clean up around the house and give
1629
01:17:32.920 --> 01:17:36.479
her a ride to a friend or get out. Transportation
1630
01:17:36.840 --> 01:17:38.859
is not about getting from point A to B. That's
1631
01:17:38.890 --> 01:17:42.930
the easy stuff. Transportation is the very glue that holds
1632
01:17:42.970 --> 01:17:45.449
the big and little things we call life together.
1633
01:17:46.130 --> 01:17:47.050
Can we talk about keys?
1634
01:17:47.449 --> 01:17:51.609
You mentioned do not roll into like a holiday and say,
1635
01:17:52.079 --> 01:17:54.279
Pass the peas and give me your keys, mom and dad.
1636
01:17:54.300 --> 01:17:57.260
Yeah, no, overall. And here's the challenge. A lot of
1637
01:17:57.300 --> 01:17:59.720
people think that older drivers is that they show up
1638
01:17:59.760 --> 01:18:02.479
at Thanksgiving. They haven't seen mom or dad for six months,
1639
01:18:02.539 --> 01:18:04.739
maybe a year, maybe even more. And they kind of
1640
01:18:04.760 --> 01:18:07.979
look at the table and go, gee, he's gotten kind
1641
01:18:08.000 --> 01:18:09.720
of older, hasn't he? And it's like, I don't think
1642
01:18:09.760 --> 01:18:12.500
he should be driving. Mel, this is how the age
1643
01:18:12.560 --> 01:18:16.140
lab started around older drivers. We know this area very well.
1644
01:18:17.020 --> 01:18:20.699
It is not about birthdays. Birthdays do not kill. Health
1645
01:18:20.770 --> 01:18:24.670
conditions do. And so it's about the health conditions, the
1646
01:18:24.750 --> 01:18:28.710
medications they're taking, what combination, nutrition. As I like to say,
1647
01:18:28.729 --> 01:18:30.340
I'd rather get in a car with an 80-year-old who's
1648
01:18:30.380 --> 01:18:33.819
in decent shape than a 30-year-old taking allergy medication. And
1649
01:18:33.899 --> 01:18:35.439
so one of the things we have to think about
1650
01:18:35.460 --> 01:18:38.460
is how do you have that conversation when there does
1651
01:18:38.579 --> 01:18:40.979
come a time when driving is a problem? If they
1652
01:18:41.000 --> 01:18:45.449
confuse the pedals, we're done. Look for patterns, not just like,
1653
01:18:45.470 --> 01:18:47.649
you know, one mailbox being knocked over. Well, a lot
1654
01:18:47.689 --> 01:18:49.119
of us do that and we don't talk about it.
1655
01:18:49.430 --> 01:18:51.640
But doing it as a pattern, now we got an issue.
1656
01:18:52.039 --> 01:18:55.659
So yeah, having the conversation is not simply about passing
1657
01:18:55.680 --> 01:18:57.939
the peas and handing over the keys. It's about doing
1658
01:18:57.979 --> 01:19:00.649
your homework. How's that person going to get out? How
1659
01:19:00.689 --> 01:19:02.029
are they going to get to the things they need?
1660
01:19:02.329 --> 01:19:04.729
But more importantly, in terms of quality of life, how
1661
01:19:04.770 --> 01:19:06.069
are they going to get to the things and the
1662
01:19:06.130 --> 01:19:09.710
people they love and want? So First thing to do
1663
01:19:09.750 --> 01:19:13.699
with them, start experimenting. Start coming up with who's going
1664
01:19:13.720 --> 01:19:16.079
to provide rides. If they've never taken a ride share
1665
01:19:16.479 --> 01:19:19.199
opportunity with Lyft, Uber, or whoever is in the neighborhood,
1666
01:19:19.899 --> 01:19:21.640
do it while they don't have to so they get
1667
01:19:21.680 --> 01:19:22.220
it over with.
1668
01:19:22.920 --> 01:19:27.529
I can feel that sense of urgency building inside me.
1669
01:19:27.750 --> 01:19:31.810
I know there are very specific people I'm sending this
1670
01:19:31.869 --> 01:19:32.890
to in my family.
1671
01:19:33.210 --> 01:19:35.600
Hi, mom and dad and my brother. How are you?
1672
01:19:36.630 --> 01:19:38.930
Let's talk about this episode. And I'm sure you're feeling
1673
01:19:38.989 --> 01:19:42.590
the same way. And that's why I wanted to ask you, Dr. Coughlin,
1674
01:19:42.609 --> 01:19:45.489
after all the extraordinary things that you have taught us today,
1675
01:19:45.789 --> 01:19:50.750
shared with us today, educated us about today, if the
1676
01:19:50.789 --> 01:19:56.279
person listening takes just one thing from this extraordinary conversation,
1677
01:19:56.319 --> 01:19:59.079
what do you think the most important thing to take
1678
01:19:59.140 --> 01:19:59.489
away is?
1679
01:19:59.500 --> 01:20:03.000
You know, my dissertation advisor taught me that if you
1680
01:20:03.039 --> 01:20:06.130
don't have three examples, you don't have a point. So
1681
01:20:06.970 --> 01:20:09.550
I'm going to give you three takeaways, but this one
1682
01:20:09.590 --> 01:20:15.210
is the most important one. Have the conversation. Longevity is
1683
01:20:15.250 --> 01:20:19.850
a family project. It's not an individual thing. Talk about care, housing,
1684
01:20:20.250 --> 01:20:23.810
what matters before the crisis happens. Because when the crisis happens,
1685
01:20:24.409 --> 01:20:27.680
somebody falls, breaks a hip on Friday. They're hospitalized, surgery
1686
01:20:27.720 --> 01:20:33.720
by Sunday. By Monday, the hospital's saying, congratulations, mom's coming home. Who, what, where, how?
1687
01:20:33.939 --> 01:20:37.510
Remember those questions around caregiving. The second one, this becomes
1688
01:20:37.569 --> 01:20:40.949
more personal for a couple or individual. Plan for Tuesday.
1689
01:20:41.369 --> 01:20:44.710
That Tuesday at 1030, that's really real. You need to
1690
01:20:45.210 --> 01:20:47.750
add structure to a life that was always structured until
1691
01:20:47.770 --> 01:20:51.600
the day you retire. And the third one, stop postponing
1692
01:20:51.619 --> 01:20:54.819
your future you. There are things you can do today.
1693
01:20:55.300 --> 01:20:58.899
Preparation is not about control. It's not just about independence.
1694
01:20:58.939 --> 01:21:02.770
It's not about financial security alone. Preparation is an act
1695
01:21:02.789 --> 01:21:05.810
of love, a love of self, a love of your
1696
01:21:05.829 --> 01:21:08.270
significant other, and a love of all those that you
1697
01:21:08.369 --> 01:21:10.630
think you're going to be depending on over time.
1698
01:21:12.289 --> 01:21:14.750
Dr. Coughlin, what are your parting words?
1699
01:21:15.430 --> 01:21:18.479
Parting words is I don't want anyone to believe that
1700
01:21:18.640 --> 01:21:22.579
older age is something that we should fear. This is
1701
01:21:22.619 --> 01:21:26.020
a gift of time. You know, since people crawled out
1702
01:21:26.060 --> 01:21:29.180
of the ooze, if you will, we've wanted to live longer,
1703
01:21:29.300 --> 01:21:34.880
whether it's endless life, eternal life, you know, the trying
1704
01:21:34.920 --> 01:21:36.819
to find all kinds of things going on to make
1705
01:21:36.859 --> 01:21:38.319
sure that we live longer. In fact, think of the
1706
01:21:38.380 --> 01:21:42.560
billions now going into longevity tech, that we're going to
1707
01:21:42.579 --> 01:21:45.500
live to 100, 150. That's great. But I want you
1708
01:21:45.539 --> 01:21:48.439
to look at older age as a gift of a
1709
01:21:48.550 --> 01:21:53.210
dividend of upwards of three to four decades longer than
1710
01:21:53.250 --> 01:21:57.550
our grandparents, great-grandparents may have enjoyed. A child born today,
1711
01:21:58.050 --> 01:21:59.829
one half of them, it is said, are likely to
1712
01:21:59.890 --> 01:22:03.319
live 100 years. We don't know how to cash in
1713
01:22:03.340 --> 01:22:07.880
the years we have. Let's make living longer, living better.
1714
01:22:09.100 --> 01:22:09.779
Well, Dr.
1715
01:22:09.819 --> 01:22:13.220
Coughlin, I just have to say you are a gift.
1716
01:22:14.399 --> 01:22:19.149
This research is so important. There are very few conversations
1717
01:22:19.189 --> 01:22:24.930
that you have that both change your mind, that open
1718
01:22:25.090 --> 01:22:28.770
you up to an entirely different perspective, and that soften
1719
01:22:28.789 --> 01:22:32.909
your heart in a way that can not only transform
1720
01:22:32.939 --> 01:22:36.460
your own life, but can improve the relationships that you
1721
01:22:36.500 --> 01:22:39.720
have with the people that you care about. And this
1722
01:22:39.899 --> 01:22:43.720
one has had a very deep impact on me personally.
1723
01:22:43.739 --> 01:22:47.539
I know it's going to have an impact on my family.
1724
01:22:47.899 --> 01:22:51.930
And I am also certain that there will be millions
1725
01:22:51.979 --> 01:22:56.529
of families around the world who will navigate this differently,
1726
01:22:57.069 --> 01:23:01.010
more compassionately, because of what you taught us today.
1727
01:23:01.050 --> 01:23:01.590
So thank you.
1728
01:23:01.609 --> 01:23:03.829
But Mel, my team has done amazing work at the
1729
01:23:03.930 --> 01:23:07.029
MIT Asia Lab, but you're doing something that we cannot do.
1730
01:23:07.550 --> 01:23:10.890
Before their action, there must be attention. And thank you
1731
01:23:11.270 --> 01:23:12.390
for making that happen.
1732
01:23:12.649 --> 01:23:16.369
You're welcome. And I want to thank you. Thank you. Dr.
1733
01:23:16.390 --> 01:23:17.199
Coughlin just said it.
1734
01:23:17.409 --> 01:23:22.350
You gave your time and attention, your most precious resource,
1735
01:23:22.949 --> 01:23:24.590
to this conversation.
1736
01:23:25.329 --> 01:23:26.729
And that really matters.
1737
01:23:26.869 --> 01:23:28.670
And in case no one else tells you, as your friend,
1738
01:23:28.729 --> 01:23:30.449
I wanted to be sure to tell you that I
1739
01:23:30.510 --> 01:23:32.289
love you and I believe in you. And I believe
1740
01:23:32.310 --> 01:23:33.909
in your ability to create a better life.
1741
01:23:34.409 --> 01:23:35.109
And what Dr.
1742
01:23:35.170 --> 01:23:38.729
Coughlin has taught us today about the opportunity, the gift
1743
01:23:38.850 --> 01:23:41.909
of all of these additional years, he has taught us
1744
01:23:41.989 --> 01:23:44.949
how not to just live more years, but to put
1745
01:23:45.029 --> 01:23:49.310
more life into those years. And what a gift that is. Alrighty,
1746
01:23:49.329 --> 01:23:51.170
I will see you in the very next episode. I'll
1747
01:23:51.189 --> 01:23:57.520
welcome you in the moment you hit play. Maybe you're
1748
01:23:57.590 --> 01:23:59.550
seeing this right now, that the lives of the people
1749
01:23:59.590 --> 01:24:03.630
that you love are shrinking as they're getting older.
1750
01:24:03.689 --> 01:24:05.069
Is that right? Does that sound good? Okay.
1751
01:24:05.609 --> 01:24:07.829
You know, looking at you hurts. A lot of people
1752
01:24:07.850 --> 01:24:08.210
say that.
1753
01:24:08.229 --> 01:24:08.890
Will you stop, doc?
1754
01:24:08.930 --> 01:24:10.710
We are in for an extraordinary eye-opening and helpful.
1755
01:24:10.729 --> 01:24:12.850
We are in, you and I are in for an
1756
01:24:12.930 --> 01:24:28.979
extraordinary eye-opening and profoundly helpful conversation for you and your
1757
01:24:29.020 --> 01:24:32.260
family oh my gosh okay thank you for bending down
1758
01:24:32.279 --> 01:24:34.399
because these pants do not have stretch in them this
1759
01:24:34.439 --> 01:24:36.979
was really dumb of me okay all right so i'm
1760
01:24:37.039 --> 01:24:40.159
putting on one leg of this is the easy part
1761
01:24:40.239 --> 01:24:41.609
i think i need to hold on this is the
1762
01:24:41.649 --> 01:24:46.909
jumpsuit okay my pants literally great oh my god.
1763
01:24:46.850 --> 01:24:54.539
So good all right thank you yes you killed it Oh,
1764
01:24:54.899 --> 01:24:55.520
and one more thing.
1765
01:24:55.779 --> 01:24:59.520
And no, this is not a blooper. This is the
1766
01:24:59.659 --> 01:25:03.119
legal language. You know what the lawyers write and what
1767
01:25:03.180 --> 01:25:06.180
I need to read to you. This podcast is presented
1768
01:25:06.520 --> 01:25:11.159
solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend.
1769
01:25:11.720 --> 01:25:14.899
I am not a licensed therapist. And this podcast is
1770
01:25:15.039 --> 01:25:18.310
not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician,
1771
01:25:18.649 --> 01:25:22.670
professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional.
1772
01:25:23.130 --> 01:25:25.899
Got it? Good. I'll see you in the next episode.
1773
01:25:28.880 --> 01:25:31.439
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1791
01:26:30.579 --> 01:26:33.520
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01:26:33.619 --> 01:26:34.260
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01:26:34.840 --> 01:26:38.060
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