ABOUT THIS EPISODE
There are seasons in life when everything you thought was secure suddenly starts falling apart.
That's part of what I wanted to explore when I invited my dear friend Denise Soler Cox back to the show. Denise and I met back in 2017, and I've had a front-row seat to so much of her journey. She's a storyteller, filmmaker, speaker, coach, and now the author of What Will They Say?
While writing the book, Denise was also living through one of the most financially difficult seasons of her life. More than $200,000 in business disappeared, her family had to leave the home they had lived in for years, and they moved into an 800-square-foot basement apartment.
And yet, in the middle of all of it, Denise had a realization that became one of the most powerful ideas in her book:
"I can be powerful and unfinished."
We talk about what it means to hold both truths at once. You can be struggling, angry, grieving, or uncertain and still be powerful. You can be a work in progress without being broken.
We also go much deeper, talking about the shields we build to protect ourselves, the ways we can unknowingly tie our worth to other people's happiness, and what happens when we finally stop protecting ourselves and allow ourselves to be seen.
Denise shares the deeply personal story behind the hardest chapter of her book and what she learned about forgiveness, motherhood, healing, and the legacy she wants to leave for her daughters.
Because maybe our legacy isn't about how much we accomplish or how much we can endure.
Maybe it's about how deeply we're willing to live while we're still becoming.
Key Takeaways:
• You can be powerful and unfinished at the same time.
• Difficult seasons don't mean you're broken.
• We often don't realize the shields we've built around ourselves.
• Your worth isn't determined by how much you can endure.
• You can accept your past without allowing it to define your future.
• Authenticity requires letting yourself be seen.
• Sometimes you have to create more than you ultimately use.
• Your legacy is about who you are and who you help others become.
Timestamps / Chapter Markers:
00:00 – Meet Denise Soler Cox
05:31 – Why Denise Had to Write This Book
13:40 – You Can Be Powerful and Unfinished
16:16 – When Everything You Built Falls Apart
20:54 – Being a Mess Doesn't Mean You're Broken
24:05 – The Hardest Chapter to Write
31:01 – What Inheritance Do You Want to Leave?
35:24 – What Writing the Book Really Required
44:57 – The Shields We Don't Realize We're Wearing
46:44 – Stop Protecting Yourself
50:53 – What Will Your Legacy Be?
If something in this conversation hit you, don't brush it off.
Maybe it's the idea that you can be powerful and unfinished. Maybe it's realizing you've been protecting yourself without even knowing it. Or maybe you're beginning to think differently about your own worth and legacy.
Whatever it is, sit with it.
And if this episode gave you something you needed to hear, share it with someone who needs the reminder, subscribe to the show, and leave us a review.
Bookshop link to purchase Denise's book:
🔗 Connect with Denise:
Website: https://denisesolercox.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/denisesolercox/
Threads: https://www.threads.com/@denisesolercox
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/denisesolercox/
Denise Soler Cox is a cultural excavator: an award-winning filmmaker, keynote speaker and author who goes inside the cultures that shape how we lead, belong, and who we become. Her debut book, What Will They Say? (Simon & Schuster, August 2026), uncovers the ten inherited cultural rules keeping Latina leaders shrinking and sidelined and shows them, finally, how to stop.
A sought-after voice on culture, identity, and belonging, Denise has spoken on 400+ stages including two TEDx talks and SXSW 2026. She has partnered with Ralph Lauren, Amazon, Microsoft, and L'Oréal, among others. In 2020, Apple Podcasts North America recognized her podcast The Self-ish Latina as both a Featured Podcast and Featured Host, with listeners in 32 countries. She has appeared as a culture expert on NBC Nightly News, and her work has been featured in Forbes, CNN and PBS.
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