WEBVTT
00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:06.799
Welcome to The Limiting Alphabet, a podcast for ambitious women ready to stop being a safe and start living in a light.
00:00:07.200 --> 00:00:12.800
We'll explore the mindset shift, the soul nudges, and awaken the version of you that you were always meant to be.
00:00:17.359 --> 00:00:20.879
Alright, we all we all like Donkey Kong?
00:00:21.440 --> 00:00:22.800
We are on, we are back.
00:00:22.960 --> 00:00:33.520
In case you did not see our last episode and did not come over to YouTube, we have the two most popular guests ever with us again momentarily that we had to introduce you to.
00:00:33.759 --> 00:00:35.119
This one is Creuton.
00:00:36.240 --> 00:00:38.560
And you have his weenus out for the world to see, Stevie.
00:00:38.960 --> 00:00:40.799
That's inappropriate.
00:00:40.960 --> 00:00:42.079
Put his weenus away.
00:00:42.159 --> 00:00:48.880
Sorry, sorry, but this is Teddy, Tedward, as I like to call him, who's been eating my journal the whole time.
00:00:48.960 --> 00:00:51.679
So we'll see how long they stay with us, but please keep it appropriate.
00:00:52.079 --> 00:00:53.439
We have the one that is a little more wiggly.
00:00:53.600 --> 00:00:54.399
I had in my factory.
00:00:54.799 --> 00:00:55.439
He is feral.
00:00:55.920 --> 00:00:57.759
If you want to snuggle, but so adorable.
00:00:58.079 --> 00:01:00.479
They're Frenchie and a fluffy Frenchie.
00:01:00.640 --> 00:01:05.519
So, and they're my basically my two boyfriends and the longest relationship I've had today.
00:01:06.159 --> 00:01:11.840
Um that brings us to manifesting.
00:01:12.079 --> 00:01:18.560
So we we talked a little bit about our and this behind me, and then I have my elbow.
00:01:18.719 --> 00:01:22.959
And funny bone combo disaster, otherwise known as our life.
00:01:23.120 --> 00:01:25.040
Yeah, the lipstick out of this show.
00:01:25.439 --> 00:01:32.879
Um so we we were talking before about we do all these talking about limiting beliefs and dreaming big and and journaling.
00:01:33.280 --> 00:01:37.040
Um and this is just gonna be a disaster.
00:01:39.200 --> 00:01:39.439
Okay.
00:01:44.799 --> 00:01:47.760
Let me take my okay.
00:01:48.000 --> 00:01:50.319
We've had enough of you too, little stinkers.
00:01:50.560 --> 00:01:51.200
Come on, you do.
00:01:51.519 --> 00:01:52.719
This is hysterical.
00:01:53.200 --> 00:01:53.680
I love it.
00:01:53.840 --> 00:01:54.879
I love it so much.
00:01:55.200 --> 00:01:57.120
Do we come on, yes?
00:01:58.560 --> 00:02:14.960
Um, so we are gonna talk through how we um got to, you know, those the phases of manifesting and kind of getting from we talked before addressing your limiting beliefs, and we had I what I think is a great episode about how the ones that we had, or just two of the many that we had.
00:02:16.080 --> 00:02:23.039
Um and I think now what we'd like to talk about is just how you get your mind around what's possible for yourself.
00:02:23.360 --> 00:02:27.039
And I know we both brought our journals, which I think will be a funny look back.
00:02:27.199 --> 00:02:36.560
My mine starts about six years ago, and I look back at some of the things that I that I thought were impossible, like my dream life, impossible, so exciting.
00:02:36.719 --> 00:02:42.159
And they they look really small in comparison to what where I am now.
00:02:42.400 --> 00:02:58.479
But at that time, I remember so vividly sitting in my desk and really just like trying to picture what my ideal life could be and thinking it was so insurmountable, and just thinking, how am I ever gonna achieve this?
00:02:58.639 --> 00:03:02.960
Laughing at myself about things that I thought were um just not even doable.
00:03:03.039 --> 00:03:09.759
And then would you agree that there was a part of you that felt like you could actually accomplish it?
00:03:09.840 --> 00:03:12.000
Like maybe it felt super far away.
00:03:12.159 --> 00:03:17.120
Um, but I feel like for you, you knew like this this could actually happen based on the changes.
00:03:17.199 --> 00:03:18.560
So would you would you agree with that?
00:03:18.800 --> 00:03:38.000
Yes, I think that's what is so funny when I read read it back is that I wasn't writing like fly on a private jet, like own my own fleet of jets, and uh like the things that I was writing were not giant dreams, but in my head, and in my head they were possible, but back then those were my giant dreams.
00:03:38.240 --> 00:03:45.919
And and it makes me sort of reflect with a little bit of sadness to think, gosh, my dream life was so much.
00:03:46.080 --> 00:03:48.479
I'm really grateful for every stage of my journey.
00:03:48.639 --> 00:04:09.120
But when I look at what I thought was barely accomplishable, it really shows how stepping into your your really authentic identity, I look back on it and I'm like, how sad that that's what I thought was my greatest life achievement in terms of contributing to people, helping others, um, what I do in my family, in my home.
00:04:09.199 --> 00:04:13.120
And I I look back on it and I really so grateful to be in this spot.
00:04:13.199 --> 00:04:20.480
And I'm so grateful that now my big, big, big, big dreams are ridiculous, um, but maybe still, but still doable.
00:04:20.639 --> 00:04:22.319
And it's just fun to look back on the journey.
00:04:22.560 --> 00:04:35.839
Well, I was actually just gonna say that exact thing is I think that's you know, as we talk about some of the power of journaling, I think what you just shared is is one of them because um I think we forget about those things.
00:04:36.000 --> 00:04:40.160
And so you could be standing here without ever looking back to reflect and go, wow.
00:04:40.319 --> 00:04:46.720
And so to be able to see that you have accomplished all those things is like proof of the proof in the pudding, proof of proof of the pudding.
00:04:47.040 --> 00:04:47.839
Yeah, proof of the pudding.
00:04:48.000 --> 00:04:48.560
I think that's right.
00:04:48.720 --> 00:04:49.040
I think so.
00:04:50.480 --> 00:04:55.680
That you can now like, oh, I did I thought this was huge and insurmountable, and I did it.
00:04:55.920 --> 00:05:00.959
And so now you're in a place of going, okay, but what if I did something even bigger and even crazier?
00:05:01.279 --> 00:05:14.560
And I think without the journal that gives you almost that written proof of memory, is um it'd be interesting to see where thankfully you don't have to see where you are today, but to be you have have now something written and tangible, which is cool.
00:05:14.800 --> 00:05:23.519
It is, and I I'll give an example of just kind of the situation because I think you know, these all of this evolution happens in the tiniest baby steps.
00:05:23.600 --> 00:05:24.959
They're we talk about this all the time.
00:05:25.040 --> 00:05:32.079
It's lit literally looking at your learning beliefs and examining them a tiny bit every day, doing the just the ittiest, bittiest work.
00:05:32.240 --> 00:05:37.040
It's not throwing yourself into a three-week-long self-development course and coming out a butterfly.
00:05:37.279 --> 00:05:43.839
It's really taking a minute to be like, okay, I'm gonna journal and I'll I'll give an example, and you'll remember this well.
00:05:44.000 --> 00:05:49.839
I'm you know, new in my business, and I have$4.95 in my checking account.
00:05:50.000 --> 00:05:51.519
I'm in the middle of a divorce.
00:05:51.680 --> 00:05:57.279
I have a big house that I shared, yeah, um, and we're building a new one for my ex-husband to live in.
00:05:57.360 --> 00:05:59.360
So my expenses are very high.
00:05:59.519 --> 00:06:03.759
I'm starting a new business, and I I really don't have money.
00:06:03.920 --> 00:06:07.360
Like I don't have a giant you like look somehow.
00:06:07.600 --> 00:06:11.040
Like it looked all shiny on the outside, right?
00:06:11.759 --> 00:06:18.000
Yeah, I'm sure I was hiding all of those things and and would be so embarrassed if anyone knew what my uh checking account actually looked like.
00:06:18.240 --> 00:06:33.199
But I I get into my dream office space and it's big, and I had this vision of opening the doors and you know, really feeling like, wow, I cannot believe I I work here and this is mine.
00:06:33.360 --> 00:06:34.959
And I knew exactly what it looked like.
00:06:35.120 --> 00:06:42.720
I knew when I opened the doors how it would feel, and I was just rumining, you know, obsessing around ruminating.
00:06:42.879 --> 00:06:44.720
This space looks like this, this space looks like this.
00:06:44.879 --> 00:06:51.680
Well, it comes time to feel fill this big space, and guess who has to write the check for the for those expenses?
00:06:51.920 --> 00:06:57.759
And I didn't have the money, so I am literally like using my those college skills.
00:06:57.920 --> 00:07:03.120
I'm using that Taco Bell, that Taco Bell 5979.99 menu to feed me and the boys.
00:07:03.279 --> 00:07:09.519
And I I every time I would and I would cry over this all the time because my credit card bills were huge.
00:07:09.680 --> 00:07:18.720
And keep in mind, it's a I'm in a new business, so I'm I don't have a year of amazing income really to fund it.
00:07:18.879 --> 00:07:21.120
I don't even have proof that I'm gonna be good at this.
00:07:21.360 --> 00:07:25.759
And I would, you know, another bill, I hired the most amazing decorator.
00:07:26.000 --> 00:07:35.519
Um, and you know, it's you want it to look amazing, and you're not thinking, I'm I'm gonna manage, you know, to make this look like an amazing space using my IKEA money.
00:07:35.680 --> 00:07:43.600
It takes, you know, and every time, every time, you know, we would consult on what something costs, I would feel anxiety.
00:07:43.920 --> 00:07:52.240
And that just like, you know, you feel like a fraud, and your your anxiety, your mouth is dry, and you know you don't have that money.
00:07:52.480 --> 00:07:59.920
And I would usually, you know, be like, oh, delightful, let's get the the triple, let's everything gold foiled.
00:08:00.000 --> 00:08:06.160
I can and I would pretend like I had just money flowing, and then I would go home and really cry over it.
00:08:06.319 --> 00:08:29.759
But I would always come back to when I got scared, I'd be I would say, okay, I know that if I have a space where people feel welcome and that people feel is beautiful and aligns to my personality, and that I walk in and I feel my very best because it's mine, that I I'm gonna believe that I can soar in that and I'm gonna get this investment back 20 fold by really believing it.
00:08:29.839 --> 00:08:37.039
And I would over and over and over again, motion full motion picture, slamming the car door of my Porsche Cayenne, which I didn't have.
00:08:37.120 --> 00:08:38.240
I had a beat up Lexus.
00:08:38.320 --> 00:08:39.120
But then you did get one.
00:08:39.440 --> 00:08:47.440
I did get one, mama, and I had an old, old car that had like soccer stinky cleats in it and like Cheeto dust everywhere, and so my life really was far from it.
00:08:47.519 --> 00:08:58.799
But I would replay the like motion picture, and I would just take a breath and calm down and say, I know that this is an investment in the practice of my dreams and the business of my dreams.
00:08:58.879 --> 00:09:04.080
And I wrote those checks and I I got it back faster than I could even imagine.
00:09:04.240 --> 00:09:16.159
And I remember the day slamming my car door, opening the office, and feeling like I am the person that I, you know, three months ago, I'm literally coming in with my hair barely combed.
00:09:16.240 --> 00:09:27.120
I'm, you know, have like a$40,000 credit card bill, and I, you know, an office full of boxes and uh and my beat up old car, and I just couldn't believe.
00:09:27.279 --> 00:09:32.639
And that was the first proof, but that was my biggest, biggest dream furnishing an office.
00:09:32.799 --> 00:09:38.240
That was I was like, Yes, I've made it, I'm unstoppable.
00:09:38.480 --> 00:09:46.240
And I but it was like the first proof of saying, okay, I I paid it off so quickly because I knew my energy matched that.
00:09:46.320 --> 00:09:55.919
And it was the evidence that I could make this tiny, well, in retrospect, it was a tiny dream, having a place to work, like woohoo, you're really killing it.
00:09:56.159 --> 00:10:02.159
Um, and the Porsche came after that, which was my first car on my own, and I remember feeling like, yes.
00:10:02.559 --> 00:10:04.240
Um, but they were tiny.
00:10:04.399 --> 00:10:10.320
The Porsche was a huge one for me, but but furnishing an office was such out of my realm and such a big dream.
00:10:10.639 --> 00:10:16.000
I look back on it and I'm like, all I was doing was investing in myself, something that's necessary for the space.
00:10:16.080 --> 00:10:21.840
And it's it's silly to look back on something that's so basic and such an essential as my biggest luxury.
00:10:22.080 --> 00:10:22.720
But I don't know.
00:10:22.879 --> 00:10:26.320
I mean, I can see how you think it's silly given where you are today.
00:10:26.559 --> 00:10:39.120
Um, but I think it's I think I hope it's a really powerful example before our listeners and our friends, because I think you did what most people wouldn't do, which was you you knew that it was aligned.
00:10:39.200 --> 00:10:45.279
Um, so you had to take the time to discover that what your purpose was and took the leap to follow it.
00:10:45.519 --> 00:10:50.559
And then these were the things that came alongside it that you you just knew you had to go for it.
00:10:50.799 --> 00:11:07.279
Unfortunately, I think what most people do is they start saving their dollars, their little pennies, right, in the in their little jar, and they're waiting because there's still fear and lack, and they're waiting for the moment where they have all of the money to be able to do it.
00:11:07.360 --> 00:11:17.120
And I know that is most certainly how I have handled most things in the past until the recent years, um, because of fear and because of the security and the safety.
00:11:17.360 --> 00:11:19.519
And so, um, so I don't know.
00:11:19.600 --> 00:11:33.600
I just think it's I think that's something I do think you've done differently is you had that belief and the the trust and the faith and and held space for that, and you did it before it felt good when most people wait until it feels good.
00:11:33.919 --> 00:11:45.440
That is a great point, and I think even the intermediate step is you get going on something and the fear overwhelms the timeline or how much you thought you were gonna spend or what what something costs.
00:11:45.679 --> 00:11:59.759
So you wait on this, you wait on that, and you end up having a dream, but sort of cheating yourself of your full vision because I'm gonna wait and I'll set up a my grandma's card table instead of have a beautiful office conference table.
00:11:59.919 --> 00:12:07.759
And you've made a compromise that seems financially sound, but really you're showing yourself like you're not there yet.
00:12:07.919 --> 00:12:10.639
You're not in a place where this is a safe investment.
00:12:10.879 --> 00:12:23.840
And I think that responsibility and our and our, you know, those trade-offs, and this is we're not talking about spending money irresponsibly, although at the time it probably was an irresponsible spend given what I was bringing in and what I had.
00:12:24.000 --> 00:12:37.919
But I think you know, having that space was I rem like I remember my very first appointment after that, just feeling like the baddest bitch in there, like having my little tea and coffee, my nails were painted, I was like fancy as fuck.
00:12:38.159 --> 00:12:45.759
And I think it really was such a boost to my it was I was evolving into this new version of myself that worked in an office like that.
00:12:45.840 --> 00:12:58.799
And keep in mind, I'm in a cubicle this big and like under a fluorescent lights, like running on a wheel, like and that so it was a big, big change, but it was I think it was what that tiny tick moved it forward.
00:12:59.120 --> 00:12:59.919
I love that.
00:13:00.080 --> 00:13:01.360
I know you gotta can't.
00:13:01.519 --> 00:13:01.840
What is that?
00:13:01.919 --> 00:13:02.639
Okay, it's a VA.
00:13:03.200 --> 00:13:04.639
It's funny Mary mix for fun.
00:13:04.879 --> 00:13:07.759
I was gonna say, I don't think I don't think you're just drinking V8 juice.
00:13:07.840 --> 00:13:11.440
So I was hoping there was something good that you that you mix in it.
00:13:11.679 --> 00:13:18.240
Um, well, and so I can even go back to thinking about um where I was in a similar position.
00:13:18.399 --> 00:13:32.080
So for journaling, I guess for me, um, has become something I did daily, especially when starting my business, but to really hold space for my vision and my dreams is how I used it.
00:13:32.159 --> 00:13:41.279
And it was part of my morning routine because I felt to your point, um, and from speaking of the last episode where I I felt like maybe I was lucky at some point.
00:13:41.600 --> 00:13:48.000
I maybe did I had fear of um that I was gonna fail, you know, when I was new to things.
00:13:48.159 --> 00:14:03.279
And so the only way for me to get outside of my head was to start the day with these certain practices that put me in a place where I was already feeling energized and excited, and journaling my future was one of them.
00:14:03.440 --> 00:14:06.399
And so I did it before my family woke up.
00:14:06.480 --> 00:14:11.519
You know, I start with my prayers and then I just pulled it out and I just wrote the same thing every time.
00:14:11.600 --> 00:14:17.440
And I did it as though um, I write as though those dreams I already have.
00:14:17.600 --> 00:14:20.639
So I have XYZ, I am XYZ.
00:14:20.960 --> 00:14:34.799
And what's funny when I look back at this, and not funny, paha, but like interesting is I can remember um when I I'm writing about um owning my dream car and Escalade, which I have now.
00:14:35.120 --> 00:14:38.320
But at the time, I feel like I didn't have a pot to piss in.
00:14:39.279 --> 00:14:48.320
Like my I um was brand new and my husband got laid off a month after I started everything without a severance.
00:14:48.480 --> 00:15:01.759
So we go from being people who are like, you know, safe and secure and making decisions, um, where we've got the savings, and all of a sudden the savings is going bye-bye very fast because of our our our life and our kids.
00:15:01.840 --> 00:15:06.879
And um, and then from there, we just the credit card just starts going up, up, up, and up.
00:15:06.960 --> 00:15:09.600
And as I've shared before, I didn't really, I never had credit cards.
00:15:09.919 --> 00:15:14.720
I really prided myself in buying things when I had the money, like we were talking about.
00:15:14.960 --> 00:15:22.399
And so um I was in a in a much different place, like you were from what I actually wanted and dreamed about.
00:15:22.559 --> 00:15:37.519
Uh, but for me, I I had the the way for me to um, I guess feel okay, feel better about that situation was holding space and dreaming and writing about that future as though it was already mine.
00:15:38.000 --> 00:15:42.000
I that was a big I think if I go back, it's kind of fun to look back in your journey.
00:15:42.080 --> 00:15:55.360
This is my hummingbird journal, because keep in mind when when I started my business, um I I um you know was going through a major life change and my parents had both passed.
00:15:55.600 --> 00:15:59.840
So I have my I'm an Irish twin, I have a sister 11 months younger, and it's me and her.
00:16:00.000 --> 00:16:00.639
That's it.
00:16:00.799 --> 00:16:01.919
So and my kids.
00:16:02.159 --> 00:16:14.399
So I would I would write um, you know, I I could I like to go back to like 2022 and kind of like what and really describe like what does a glow-up um look like.
00:16:14.480 --> 00:16:14.639
Yeah.
00:16:14.879 --> 00:16:20.960
And I would say um I would say like giving freely allows me to bless more people.
00:16:21.120 --> 00:16:32.000
So I would have a lot of times I would try, I would be making similar to the office, donations to help people and causes that I really didn't I really couldn't afford afford.
00:16:32.159 --> 00:16:34.399
Or I would and I would say You're like take away.
00:16:34.480 --> 00:16:36.320
I was like, Oh, run, run.
00:16:36.799 --> 00:16:40.000
I would and I would say cash that till next paycheck.
00:16:41.200 --> 00:16:44.240
It truly was like, if it doesn't, if it balances, it'll be fine.
00:16:44.399 --> 00:16:56.000
And I I remember writing those and knowing that I, you know, was over my ski tips on it, but I would write, you know, if I give lovingly to other people, I uh develop a better relationship with money.
00:16:56.159 --> 00:16:58.879
And none of it made any good financial sense.
00:16:59.120 --> 00:17:06.400
Um and I would say things like, um, I'm gonna look back and oh, I know it's a big one.
00:17:06.559 --> 00:17:07.920
I have a beach house.
00:17:09.599 --> 00:17:16.960
I remember when we yes, and you would write, I remember you'd be like, you'd write it every day and we'd talk about like what it looked like and what it felt like for you.
00:17:17.359 --> 00:17:17.599
Yes.
00:17:18.480 --> 00:17:20.480
And I really, I don't even know why.
00:17:20.640 --> 00:17:23.519
I think I probably took a trip to the beach and was like, I need one.
00:17:23.680 --> 00:17:28.319
And again, nothing in my bank account says beach house.
00:17:28.400 --> 00:17:31.759
Like, let me just write that check for that beauty right now, piece of cake.
00:17:32.000 --> 00:17:32.400
What is it?
00:17:32.720 --> 00:17:38.480
And I I there just there was no um no realm of possibility for that.
00:17:38.559 --> 00:17:39.680
You were in the in the office.
00:17:39.759 --> 00:17:45.519
We were working together by this time, and I remember saying, like, I'm gonna get this beach house down in Puerto Penasco.
00:17:45.599 --> 00:17:48.559
I went down, I wrote the bare minimum for the down payments.
00:17:49.119 --> 00:17:50.319
I was with you when we did that.
00:17:50.559 --> 00:17:51.599
Yeah, it was a big moment.
00:17:52.799 --> 00:17:53.519
We were in a tornado.
00:17:53.599 --> 00:17:58.000
We should suppose the picture of a we were in a torrential downport of my life.
00:17:58.319 --> 00:18:01.279
Stevie drove, which was terrifying, and not our escalate.
00:18:01.359 --> 00:18:02.799
This was before we were fancy.
00:18:03.039 --> 00:18:13.599
We were like we had our camping gear going, and what did you and you were driving your older car, and um I remember us going down and I we literally could not see five feet in front of us.
00:18:13.839 --> 00:18:19.119
There was the biggest but I was going down to get that bitch, and I'm like saddle up, come ring or shine.
00:18:19.200 --> 00:18:22.079
And I remember the windows were boarded up, remember?
00:18:22.319 --> 00:18:25.440
Like we were the only people on the top besides.
00:18:25.839 --> 00:18:30.400
We had like sand and we were like, I mean, the pictures are hilarious, we have to post them.
00:18:30.640 --> 00:18:43.279
But I remember writing that sitting with you and writing that check and being like, I and it's money that you forfeit if you can't, and I'm paying cash, I'm committing to pay cash, and I have like 18 months to afford it.
00:18:43.440 --> 00:18:47.359
And I knew when I wrote that check, I was like, son of a bitch.
00:18:47.519 --> 00:19:05.759
There's but I just felt like believing in myself in that way and knowing I was gonna lose, you know, what little money I had if I didn't hit that goal, was this moment of like betting on a dream that was ridiculous and making it, you know, taking a step to make it come downfield.
00:19:05.839 --> 00:19:15.200
And it was not a glorious journey, and it did have lots of ups and downs, but my goals went from just having my office furnished to buying a beach house, and that was in a year's worth of time.
00:19:15.359 --> 00:19:15.519
Yeah.
00:19:15.759 --> 00:19:16.640
So it showed.
00:19:17.119 --> 00:19:20.799
Oh so it showed we have birds.
00:19:20.960 --> 00:19:22.640
We're uh we're in a ring of Tang Tzu.
00:19:23.279 --> 00:19:38.880
Um, so I think that just illustrates like coming from the littlest bit to current, and there's things that I wrote a long time ago that I still haven't even come close to accomplishing that were seemed like tiny dreams that are still not things that I've done.
00:19:39.200 --> 00:19:51.519
I'm so so glad you said that because I think um one of the really powerful points that we can't miss talking about is how you have to make sure you're really detached from it.
00:19:51.680 --> 00:20:02.240
So you have to feel it and want it as though it is already yours and that you hold that belief in space that it's possible, but you can't be clinging to it like your life depends on it.
00:20:02.559 --> 00:20:08.000
And I think there can be a really tricky balance with there if it's something you want so bad.
00:20:08.079 --> 00:20:11.599
It can't it needs to be truly a desire and a want, not a need.
00:20:12.079 --> 00:20:16.480
And so, um, and so you have to be okay with the timing, it is not ours.
00:20:16.799 --> 00:20:20.640
So there are to your point, I have some on there that it's so fun.
00:20:20.720 --> 00:20:30.000
Um, like I wrote for years that I um live in my dream house, which I already I do, but that I want it to have be remodeled with a designer touch.
00:20:30.079 --> 00:20:34.160
Because I, on a scale of one to ten with designer skills, I'm a negative a hundred.
00:20:34.559 --> 00:20:35.759
I'm a lesbian level.
00:20:35.839 --> 00:20:45.759
So if that's a level, sorry if anyone is just gonna stereotype, but I am exactly skill skills are like I that's my level of design.
00:20:46.240 --> 00:20:48.880
Mine's bad too, yeah, which we're both same, same.
00:20:49.119 --> 00:20:59.759
So, um, anyways, and I'm like now I've met yesterday with her, and we're we were looking at wallpapers, and we're she's starting to send me mood boards, like it's it's coming to life.
00:20:59.920 --> 00:21:10.640
And I've been writing it for a few years, and but so it's also interesting because now I'm in a place where I have seen a lot of this come true that I find myself being like, oh my gosh, like what's next?
00:21:10.799 --> 00:21:18.960
Because when you write about it and you think about it and dream about it for so long, and then it's here, uh, it can also be hard to think about something even bigger.
00:21:19.119 --> 00:21:20.480
And I know you face that too.
00:21:20.559 --> 00:21:28.559
Like to have a dr a beach house in Mexico and to travel the world flying first class and doing all these things you've done.
00:21:28.640 --> 00:21:40.480
And it's like I don't know how how do you how have you gotten to a point where you're like dreaming even get bigger than I I mean we you and I ru you'll remember I had a time where I really was just stagnating in my business.
00:21:40.640 --> 00:21:51.680
And I think because when I first started, uh having things was like, you know, I'm new ish to having money, so I'm like dream car, you know, and I'm trying acquiring things.
00:21:51.920 --> 00:21:55.200
And I got to a point where I was like, am I what am I doing?
00:21:55.359 --> 00:21:57.279
Like, I don't need more stuff.
00:21:57.519 --> 00:22:05.200
And I was not connected to Like having the the dream office was like a representation of the impact I wanted to have on people.
00:22:05.759 --> 00:22:07.200
And that was such a big one for me.
00:22:07.359 --> 00:22:08.480
Bigger than slamming the door.
00:22:08.640 --> 00:22:15.279
I've had to, you know, uh the car was completely irrelevant now to me and g doesn't really bring joy.
00:22:15.519 --> 00:22:18.880
So I think as I was what I thought was dreaming big, I'm acquiring stuff.
00:22:19.039 --> 00:22:23.200
I would find sometimes I got it and I was like, I don't, this doesn't like your pores.
00:22:23.440 --> 00:22:26.240
Remember, every time you hit a curb, like the wheel would fall off.
00:22:26.480 --> 00:22:27.279
Like you have that.
00:22:27.759 --> 00:22:31.359
When I bounce that thing off a hundred curves, and I was like, I hate this car.
00:22:31.519 --> 00:22:35.359
And I literally I would sit in it and be like, light up, light on, something needs to change.
00:22:35.519 --> 00:22:37.519
I'm like, I this is not meant for a country girl.
00:22:37.759 --> 00:22:39.839
I'm too I cannot have these nice of things.
00:22:39.920 --> 00:22:43.039
It's like my Louis Vuitton bag with lipstick stains on the inside of it.
00:22:43.119 --> 00:22:45.599
Like there are things that are just not meant for a girl like me.
00:22:45.759 --> 00:22:47.920
And the I can I can only go so leveled.
00:22:48.160 --> 00:22:58.319
But I was realizing, like, I'm getting stuff, and I maybe still had some imposter syndrome and wanted to look the part of whatever I thought, but it wasn't translating to my my growth.
00:22:58.480 --> 00:23:01.279
And that's when I had to look and be like, this is not what matters to me.
00:23:01.440 --> 00:23:04.240
How can I give more to causes I care about?
00:23:04.319 --> 00:23:08.400
How the a podcast was a big thing on mine to say, can we share this belief system?
00:23:08.559 --> 00:23:14.480
This stuff matters to me a lot more and gives me that renewed energy over acquiring more things.
00:23:14.559 --> 00:23:15.680
But I think it was just a journey.
00:23:15.759 --> 00:23:23.279
I need it's like a poor kid's journey when you're, you know, coming up from your college days and you're on your own after your parents are done with you.
00:23:23.519 --> 00:23:34.960
You think of like a successful person wears a Rolex watch and they and it's a very new money way of being because you're trying to to overcome the imposter syndrome.
00:23:35.200 --> 00:23:38.319
But um I found for sure that those things were not.
00:23:38.480 --> 00:23:53.680
I mean, I I like shop, but I think um I really had to look at what was possible for and what was you know what my responsibility was and what was bringing me joy to just think about what are my dreams beyond me, me, me, my stuff, my kids.
00:23:54.000 --> 00:24:03.279
I love that you shared that because it is so much, it should be really about the joy and abundance and how it makes you feel um, not the having that thing.
00:24:03.440 --> 00:24:03.599
Yeah.
00:24:03.759 --> 00:24:15.200
And so I know in mine I even write about my like relationship with my husband, how I want our our marriage to be so fulfilling, and um, I write about my kids and like what they're like what I want for them.
00:24:15.279 --> 00:24:17.680
And again, I write it as though it's already happened.
00:24:17.839 --> 00:24:26.720
So it doesn't have to be about things, but it is interesting that um I've gotten to that place too where I wanted it to be more about how do I feel and what's the impact.
00:24:26.960 --> 00:24:28.720
And what is a life I want to leave behind?
00:24:28.799 --> 00:24:30.400
I think relationships are a big one.
00:24:30.480 --> 00:24:35.279
Like I have in here, I'm in a healthy, happy, loving, safe relationship.
00:24:35.519 --> 00:24:42.559
And I would write that over and over again, but one that was eluding me, uh, where I'm like, oh, I'm still no, okay, I'll be.
00:24:42.960 --> 00:24:55.519
But I was having such financial success, but thought things in my personal life, or I would say I have meaningful friendships and I have, you know, my boys are thriving and feel loved and I have quality time.
00:24:55.759 --> 00:24:58.640
And those were things that I I was always worried about losing.
00:24:58.720 --> 00:25:05.200
But I felt like when I, you know, regardless of what my paycheck says, this is how I want to feel in my home.
00:25:05.279 --> 00:25:09.519
I want to curl up to someone that loves me and I know that we're a good team.
00:25:09.599 --> 00:25:12.720
I want to walk in and know that my kids are happy and supported.
00:25:12.799 --> 00:25:15.279
And I think those are things I'm still honestly working on.
00:25:15.440 --> 00:25:15.759
Yeah.
00:25:16.160 --> 00:25:18.799
Same, same work in progress.
00:25:19.119 --> 00:25:20.160
Work in progress always.
00:25:20.319 --> 00:25:22.079
I hope you enjoyed our zoo today.
00:25:25.599 --> 00:25:26.880
I feel like it smells smells.
00:25:27.359 --> 00:25:27.839
I do too.
00:25:27.920 --> 00:25:30.079
There's problems in here somewhere.
00:25:30.319 --> 00:25:34.160
And thank you for tuning in and get going on your journey.
00:25:34.400 --> 00:25:35.359
Yes, bring it.
00:25:35.599 --> 00:25:36.319
Thanks, guys.
00:25:36.480 --> 00:25:36.880
Bye.
00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:06.799
Welcome to The Limiting Alphabet, a podcast for ambitious women ready to stop being a safe and start living in a light.
00:00:07.200 --> 00:00:12.800
We'll explore the mindset shift, the soul nudges, and awaken the version of you that you were always meant to be.
00:00:17.359 --> 00:00:20.879
Alright, we all we all like Donkey Kong?
00:00:21.440 --> 00:00:22.800
We are on, we are back.
00:00:22.960 --> 00:00:33.520
In case you did not see our last episode and did not come over to YouTube, we have the two most popular guests ever with us again momentarily that we had to introduce you to.
00:00:33.759 --> 00:00:35.119
This one is Creuton.
00:00:36.240 --> 00:00:38.560
And you have his weenus out for the world to see, Stevie.
00:00:38.960 --> 00:00:40.799
That's inappropriate.
00:00:40.960 --> 00:00:42.079
Put his weenus away.
00:00:42.159 --> 00:00:48.880
Sorry, sorry, but this is Teddy, Tedward, as I like to call him, who's been eating my journal the whole time.
00:00:48.960 --> 00:00:51.679
So we'll see how long they stay with us, but please keep it appropriate.
00:00:52.079 --> 00:00:53.439
We have the one that is a little more wiggly.
00:00:53.600 --> 00:00:54.399
I had in my factory.
00:00:54.799 --> 00:00:55.439
He is feral.
00:00:55.920 --> 00:00:57.759
If you want to snuggle, but so adorable.
00:00:58.079 --> 00:01:00.479
They're Frenchie and a fluffy Frenchie.
00:01:00.640 --> 00:01:05.519
So, and they're my basically my two boyfriends and the longest relationship I've had today.
00:01:06.159 --> 00:01:11.840
Um that brings us to manifesting.
00:01:12.079 --> 00:01:18.560
So we we talked a little bit about our and this behind me, and then I have my elbow.
00:01:18.719 --> 00:01:22.959
And funny bone combo disaster, otherwise known as our life.
00:01:23.120 --> 00:01:25.040
Yeah, the lipstick out of this show.
00:01:25.439 --> 00:01:32.879
Um so we we were talking before about we do all these talking about limiting beliefs and dreaming big and and journaling.
00:01:33.280 --> 00:01:37.040
Um and this is just gonna be a disaster.
00:01:39.200 --> 00:01:39.439
Okay.
00:01:44.799 --> 00:01:47.760
Let me take my okay.
00:01:48.000 --> 00:01:50.319
We've had enough of you too, little stinkers.
00:01:50.560 --> 00:01:51.200
Come on, you do.
00:01:51.519 --> 00:01:52.719
This is hysterical.
00:01:53.200 --> 00:01:53.680
I love it.
00:01:53.840 --> 00:01:54.879
I love it so much.
00:01:55.200 --> 00:01:57.120
Do we come on, yes?
00:01:58.560 --> 00:02:14.960
Um, so we are gonna talk through how we um got to, you know, those the phases of manifesting and kind of getting from we talked before addressing your limiting beliefs, and we had I what I think is a great episode about how the ones that we had, or just two of the many that we had.
00:02:16.080 --> 00:02:23.039
Um and I think now what we'd like to talk about is just how you get your mind around what's possible for yourself.
00:02:23.360 --> 00:02:27.039
And I know we both brought our journals, which I think will be a funny look back.
00:02:27.199 --> 00:02:36.560
My mine starts about six years ago, and I look back at some of the things that I that I thought were impossible, like my dream life, impossible, so exciting.
00:02:36.719 --> 00:02:42.159
And they they look really small in comparison to what where I am now.
00:02:42.400 --> 00:02:58.479
But at that time, I remember so vividly sitting in my desk and really just like trying to picture what my ideal life could be and thinking it was so insurmountable, and just thinking, how am I ever gonna achieve this?
00:02:58.639 --> 00:03:02.960
Laughing at myself about things that I thought were um just not even doable.
00:03:03.039 --> 00:03:09.759
And then would you agree that there was a part of you that felt like you could actually accomplish it?
00:03:09.840 --> 00:03:12.000
Like maybe it felt super far away.
00:03:12.159 --> 00:03:17.120
Um, but I feel like for you, you knew like this this could actually happen based on the changes.
00:03:17.199 --> 00:03:18.560
So would you would you agree with that?
00:03:18.800 --> 00:03:38.000
Yes, I think that's what is so funny when I read read it back is that I wasn't writing like fly on a private jet, like own my own fleet of jets, and uh like the things that I was writing were not giant dreams, but in my head, and in my head they were possible, but back then those were my giant dreams.
00:03:38.240 --> 00:03:45.919
And and it makes me sort of reflect with a little bit of sadness to think, gosh, my dream life was so much.
00:03:46.080 --> 00:03:48.479
I'm really grateful for every stage of my journey.
00:03:48.639 --> 00:04:09.120
But when I look at what I thought was barely accomplishable, it really shows how stepping into your your really authentic identity, I look back on it and I'm like, how sad that that's what I thought was my greatest life achievement in terms of contributing to people, helping others, um, what I do in my family, in my home.
00:04:09.199 --> 00:04:13.120
And I I look back on it and I really so grateful to be in this spot.
00:04:13.199 --> 00:04:20.480
And I'm so grateful that now my big, big, big, big dreams are ridiculous, um, but maybe still, but still doable.
00:04:20.639 --> 00:04:22.319
And it's just fun to look back on the journey.
00:04:22.560 --> 00:04:35.839
Well, I was actually just gonna say that exact thing is I think that's you know, as we talk about some of the power of journaling, I think what you just shared is is one of them because um I think we forget about those things.
00:04:36.000 --> 00:04:40.160
And so you could be standing here without ever looking back to reflect and go, wow.
00:04:40.319 --> 00:04:46.720
And so to be able to see that you have accomplished all those things is like proof of the proof in the pudding, proof of proof of the pudding.
00:04:47.040 --> 00:04:47.839
Yeah, proof of the pudding.
00:04:48.000 --> 00:04:48.560
I think that's right.
00:04:48.720 --> 00:04:49.040
I think so.
00:04:50.480 --> 00:04:55.680
That you can now like, oh, I did I thought this was huge and insurmountable, and I did it.
00:04:55.920 --> 00:05:00.959
And so now you're in a place of going, okay, but what if I did something even bigger and even crazier?
00:05:01.279 --> 00:05:14.560
And I think without the journal that gives you almost that written proof of memory, is um it'd be interesting to see where thankfully you don't have to see where you are today, but to be you have have now something written and tangible, which is cool.
00:05:14.800 --> 00:05:23.519
It is, and I I'll give an example of just kind of the situation because I think you know, these all of this evolution happens in the tiniest baby steps.
00:05:23.600 --> 00:05:24.959
They're we talk about this all the time.
00:05:25.040 --> 00:05:32.079
It's lit literally looking at your learning beliefs and examining them a tiny bit every day, doing the just the ittiest, bittiest work.
00:05:32.240 --> 00:05:37.040
It's not throwing yourself into a three-week-long self-development course and coming out a butterfly.
00:05:37.279 --> 00:05:43.839
It's really taking a minute to be like, okay, I'm gonna journal and I'll I'll give an example, and you'll remember this well.
00:05:44.000 --> 00:05:49.839
I'm you know, new in my business, and I have$4.95 in my checking account.
00:05:50.000 --> 00:05:51.519
I'm in the middle of a divorce.
00:05:51.680 --> 00:05:57.279
I have a big house that I shared, yeah, um, and we're building a new one for my ex-husband to live in.
00:05:57.360 --> 00:05:59.360
So my expenses are very high.
00:05:59.519 --> 00:06:03.759
I'm starting a new business, and I I really don't have money.
00:06:03.920 --> 00:06:07.360
Like I don't have a giant you like look somehow.
00:06:07.600 --> 00:06:11.040
Like it looked all shiny on the outside, right?
00:06:11.759 --> 00:06:18.000
Yeah, I'm sure I was hiding all of those things and and would be so embarrassed if anyone knew what my uh checking account actually looked like.
00:06:18.240 --> 00:06:33.199
But I I get into my dream office space and it's big, and I had this vision of opening the doors and you know, really feeling like, wow, I cannot believe I I work here and this is mine.
00:06:33.360 --> 00:06:34.959
And I knew exactly what it looked like.
00:06:35.120 --> 00:06:42.720
I knew when I opened the doors how it would feel, and I was just rumining, you know, obsessing around ruminating.
00:06:42.879 --> 00:06:44.720
This space looks like this, this space looks like this.
00:06:44.879 --> 00:06:51.680
Well, it comes time to feel fill this big space, and guess who has to write the check for the for those expenses?
00:06:51.920 --> 00:06:57.759
And I didn't have the money, so I am literally like using my those college skills.
00:06:57.920 --> 00:07:03.120
I'm using that Taco Bell, that Taco Bell 5979.99 menu to feed me and the boys.
00:07:03.279 --> 00:07:09.519
And I I every time I would and I would cry over this all the time because my credit card bills were huge.
00:07:09.680 --> 00:07:18.720
And keep in mind, it's a I'm in a new business, so I'm I don't have a year of amazing income really to fund it.
00:07:18.879 --> 00:07:21.120
I don't even have proof that I'm gonna be good at this.
00:07:21.360 --> 00:07:25.759
And I would, you know, another bill, I hired the most amazing decorator.
00:07:26.000 --> 00:07:35.519
Um, and you know, it's you want it to look amazing, and you're not thinking, I'm I'm gonna manage, you know, to make this look like an amazing space using my IKEA money.
00:07:35.680 --> 00:07:43.600
It takes, you know, and every time, every time, you know, we would consult on what something costs, I would feel anxiety.
00:07:43.920 --> 00:07:52.240
And that just like, you know, you feel like a fraud, and your your anxiety, your mouth is dry, and you know you don't have that money.
00:07:52.480 --> 00:07:59.920
And I would usually, you know, be like, oh, delightful, let's get the the triple, let's everything gold foiled.
00:08:00.000 --> 00:08:06.160
I can and I would pretend like I had just money flowing, and then I would go home and really cry over it.
00:08:06.319 --> 00:08:29.759
But I would always come back to when I got scared, I'd be I would say, okay, I know that if I have a space where people feel welcome and that people feel is beautiful and aligns to my personality, and that I walk in and I feel my very best because it's mine, that I I'm gonna believe that I can soar in that and I'm gonna get this investment back 20 fold by really believing it.
00:08:29.839 --> 00:08:37.039
And I would over and over and over again, motion full motion picture, slamming the car door of my Porsche Cayenne, which I didn't have.
00:08:37.120 --> 00:08:38.240
I had a beat up Lexus.
00:08:38.320 --> 00:08:39.120
But then you did get one.
00:08:39.440 --> 00:08:47.440
I did get one, mama, and I had an old, old car that had like soccer stinky cleats in it and like Cheeto dust everywhere, and so my life really was far from it.
00:08:47.519 --> 00:08:58.799
But I would replay the like motion picture, and I would just take a breath and calm down and say, I know that this is an investment in the practice of my dreams and the business of my dreams.
00:08:58.879 --> 00:09:04.080
And I wrote those checks and I I got it back faster than I could even imagine.
00:09:04.240 --> 00:09:16.159
And I remember the day slamming my car door, opening the office, and feeling like I am the person that I, you know, three months ago, I'm literally coming in with my hair barely combed.
00:09:16.240 --> 00:09:27.120
I'm, you know, have like a$40,000 credit card bill, and I, you know, an office full of boxes and uh and my beat up old car, and I just couldn't believe.
00:09:27.279 --> 00:09:32.639
And that was the first proof, but that was my biggest, biggest dream furnishing an office.
00:09:32.799 --> 00:09:38.240
That was I was like, Yes, I've made it, I'm unstoppable.
00:09:38.480 --> 00:09:46.240
And I but it was like the first proof of saying, okay, I I paid it off so quickly because I knew my energy matched that.
00:09:46.320 --> 00:09:55.919
And it was the evidence that I could make this tiny, well, in retrospect, it was a tiny dream, having a place to work, like woohoo, you're really killing it.
00:09:56.159 --> 00:10:02.159
Um, and the Porsche came after that, which was my first car on my own, and I remember feeling like, yes.
00:10:02.559 --> 00:10:04.240
Um, but they were tiny.
00:10:04.399 --> 00:10:10.320
The Porsche was a huge one for me, but but furnishing an office was such out of my realm and such a big dream.
00:10:10.639 --> 00:10:16.000
I look back on it and I'm like, all I was doing was investing in myself, something that's necessary for the space.
00:10:16.080 --> 00:10:21.840
And it's it's silly to look back on something that's so basic and such an essential as my biggest luxury.
00:10:22.080 --> 00:10:22.720
But I don't know.
00:10:22.879 --> 00:10:26.320
I mean, I can see how you think it's silly given where you are today.
00:10:26.559 --> 00:10:39.120
Um, but I think it's I think I hope it's a really powerful example before our listeners and our friends, because I think you did what most people wouldn't do, which was you you knew that it was aligned.
00:10:39.200 --> 00:10:45.279
Um, so you had to take the time to discover that what your purpose was and took the leap to follow it.
00:10:45.519 --> 00:10:50.559
And then these were the things that came alongside it that you you just knew you had to go for it.
00:10:50.799 --> 00:11:07.279
Unfortunately, I think what most people do is they start saving their dollars, their little pennies, right, in the in their little jar, and they're waiting because there's still fear and lack, and they're waiting for the moment where they have all of the money to be able to do it.
00:11:07.360 --> 00:11:17.120
And I know that is most certainly how I have handled most things in the past until the recent years, um, because of fear and because of the security and the safety.
00:11:17.360 --> 00:11:19.519
And so, um, so I don't know.
00:11:19.600 --> 00:11:33.600
I just think it's I think that's something I do think you've done differently is you had that belief and the the trust and the faith and and held space for that, and you did it before it felt good when most people wait until it feels good.
00:11:33.919 --> 00:11:45.440
That is a great point, and I think even the intermediate step is you get going on something and the fear overwhelms the timeline or how much you thought you were gonna spend or what what something costs.
00:11:45.679 --> 00:11:59.759
So you wait on this, you wait on that, and you end up having a dream, but sort of cheating yourself of your full vision because I'm gonna wait and I'll set up a my grandma's card table instead of have a beautiful office conference table.
00:11:59.919 --> 00:12:07.759
And you've made a compromise that seems financially sound, but really you're showing yourself like you're not there yet.
00:12:07.919 --> 00:12:10.639
You're not in a place where this is a safe investment.
00:12:10.879 --> 00:12:23.840
And I think that responsibility and our and our, you know, those trade-offs, and this is we're not talking about spending money irresponsibly, although at the time it probably was an irresponsible spend given what I was bringing in and what I had.
00:12:24.000 --> 00:12:37.919
But I think you know, having that space was I rem like I remember my very first appointment after that, just feeling like the baddest bitch in there, like having my little tea and coffee, my nails were painted, I was like fancy as fuck.
00:12:38.159 --> 00:12:45.759
And I think it really was such a boost to my it was I was evolving into this new version of myself that worked in an office like that.
00:12:45.840 --> 00:12:58.799
And keep in mind, I'm in a cubicle this big and like under a fluorescent lights, like running on a wheel, like and that so it was a big, big change, but it was I think it was what that tiny tick moved it forward.
00:12:59.120 --> 00:12:59.919
I love that.
00:13:00.080 --> 00:13:01.360
I know you gotta can't.
00:13:01.519 --> 00:13:01.840
What is that?
00:13:01.919 --> 00:13:02.639
Okay, it's a VA.
00:13:03.200 --> 00:13:04.639
It's funny Mary mix for fun.
00:13:04.879 --> 00:13:07.759
I was gonna say, I don't think I don't think you're just drinking V8 juice.
00:13:07.840 --> 00:13:11.440
So I was hoping there was something good that you that you mix in it.
00:13:11.679 --> 00:13:18.240
Um, well, and so I can even go back to thinking about um where I was in a similar position.
00:13:18.399 --> 00:13:32.080
So for journaling, I guess for me, um, has become something I did daily, especially when starting my business, but to really hold space for my vision and my dreams is how I used it.
00:13:32.159 --> 00:13:41.279
And it was part of my morning routine because I felt to your point, um, and from speaking of the last episode where I I felt like maybe I was lucky at some point.
00:13:41.600 --> 00:13:48.000
I maybe did I had fear of um that I was gonna fail, you know, when I was new to things.
00:13:48.159 --> 00:14:03.279
And so the only way for me to get outside of my head was to start the day with these certain practices that put me in a place where I was already feeling energized and excited, and journaling my future was one of them.
00:14:03.440 --> 00:14:06.399
And so I did it before my family woke up.
00:14:06.480 --> 00:14:11.519
You know, I start with my prayers and then I just pulled it out and I just wrote the same thing every time.
00:14:11.600 --> 00:14:17.440
And I did it as though um, I write as though those dreams I already have.
00:14:17.600 --> 00:14:20.639
So I have XYZ, I am XYZ.
00:14:20.960 --> 00:14:34.799
And what's funny when I look back at this, and not funny, paha, but like interesting is I can remember um when I I'm writing about um owning my dream car and Escalade, which I have now.
00:14:35.120 --> 00:14:38.320
But at the time, I feel like I didn't have a pot to piss in.
00:14:39.279 --> 00:14:48.320
Like my I um was brand new and my husband got laid off a month after I started everything without a severance.
00:14:48.480 --> 00:15:01.759
So we go from being people who are like, you know, safe and secure and making decisions, um, where we've got the savings, and all of a sudden the savings is going bye-bye very fast because of our our our life and our kids.
00:15:01.840 --> 00:15:06.879
And um, and then from there, we just the credit card just starts going up, up, up, and up.
00:15:06.960 --> 00:15:09.600
And as I've shared before, I didn't really, I never had credit cards.
00:15:09.919 --> 00:15:14.720
I really prided myself in buying things when I had the money, like we were talking about.
00:15:14.960 --> 00:15:22.399
And so um I was in a in a much different place, like you were from what I actually wanted and dreamed about.
00:15:22.559 --> 00:15:37.519
Uh, but for me, I I had the the way for me to um, I guess feel okay, feel better about that situation was holding space and dreaming and writing about that future as though it was already mine.
00:15:38.000 --> 00:15:42.000
I that was a big I think if I go back, it's kind of fun to look back in your journey.
00:15:42.080 --> 00:15:55.360
This is my hummingbird journal, because keep in mind when when I started my business, um I I um you know was going through a major life change and my parents had both passed.
00:15:55.600 --> 00:15:59.840
So I have my I'm an Irish twin, I have a sister 11 months younger, and it's me and her.
00:16:00.000 --> 00:16:00.639
That's it.
00:16:00.799 --> 00:16:01.919
So and my kids.
00:16:02.159 --> 00:16:14.399
So I would I would write um, you know, I I could I like to go back to like 2022 and kind of like what and really describe like what does a glow-up um look like.
00:16:14.480 --> 00:16:14.639
Yeah.
00:16:14.879 --> 00:16:20.960
And I would say um I would say like giving freely allows me to bless more people.
00:16:21.120 --> 00:16:32.000
So I would have a lot of times I would try, I would be making similar to the office, donations to help people and causes that I really didn't I really couldn't afford afford.
00:16:32.159 --> 00:16:34.399
Or I would and I would say You're like take away.
00:16:34.480 --> 00:16:36.320
I was like, Oh, run, run.
00:16:36.799 --> 00:16:40.000
I would and I would say cash that till next paycheck.
00:16:41.200 --> 00:16:44.240
It truly was like, if it doesn't, if it balances, it'll be fine.
00:16:44.399 --> 00:16:56.000
And I I remember writing those and knowing that I, you know, was over my ski tips on it, but I would write, you know, if I give lovingly to other people, I uh develop a better relationship with money.
00:16:56.159 --> 00:16:58.879
And none of it made any good financial sense.
00:16:59.120 --> 00:17:06.400
Um and I would say things like, um, I'm gonna look back and oh, I know it's a big one.
00:17:06.559 --> 00:17:07.920
I have a beach house.
00:17:09.599 --> 00:17:16.960
I remember when we yes, and you would write, I remember you'd be like, you'd write it every day and we'd talk about like what it looked like and what it felt like for you.
00:17:17.359 --> 00:17:17.599
Yes.
00:17:18.480 --> 00:17:20.480
And I really, I don't even know why.
00:17:20.640 --> 00:17:23.519
I think I probably took a trip to the beach and was like, I need one.
00:17:23.680 --> 00:17:28.319
And again, nothing in my bank account says beach house.
00:17:28.400 --> 00:17:31.759
Like, let me just write that check for that beauty right now, piece of cake.
00:17:32.000 --> 00:17:32.400
What is it?
00:17:32.720 --> 00:17:38.480
And I I there just there was no um no realm of possibility for that.
00:17:38.559 --> 00:17:39.680
You were in the in the office.
00:17:39.759 --> 00:17:45.519
We were working together by this time, and I remember saying, like, I'm gonna get this beach house down in Puerto Penasco.
00:17:45.599 --> 00:17:48.559
I went down, I wrote the bare minimum for the down payments.
00:17:49.119 --> 00:17:50.319
I was with you when we did that.
00:17:50.559 --> 00:17:51.599
Yeah, it was a big moment.
00:17:52.799 --> 00:17:53.519
We were in a tornado.
00:17:53.599 --> 00:17:58.000
We should suppose the picture of a we were in a torrential downport of my life.
00:17:58.319 --> 00:18:01.279
Stevie drove, which was terrifying, and not our escalate.
00:18:01.359 --> 00:18:02.799
This was before we were fancy.
00:18:03.039 --> 00:18:13.599
We were like we had our camping gear going, and what did you and you were driving your older car, and um I remember us going down and I we literally could not see five feet in front of us.
00:18:13.839 --> 00:18:19.119
There was the biggest but I was going down to get that bitch, and I'm like saddle up, come ring or shine.
00:18:19.200 --> 00:18:22.079
And I remember the windows were boarded up, remember?
00:18:22.319 --> 00:18:25.440
Like we were the only people on the top besides.
00:18:25.839 --> 00:18:30.400
We had like sand and we were like, I mean, the pictures are hilarious, we have to post them.
00:18:30.640 --> 00:18:43.279
But I remember writing that sitting with you and writing that check and being like, I and it's money that you forfeit if you can't, and I'm paying cash, I'm committing to pay cash, and I have like 18 months to afford it.
00:18:43.440 --> 00:18:47.359
And I knew when I wrote that check, I was like, son of a bitch.
00:18:47.519 --> 00:19:05.759
There's but I just felt like believing in myself in that way and knowing I was gonna lose, you know, what little money I had if I didn't hit that goal, was this moment of like betting on a dream that was ridiculous and making it, you know, taking a step to make it come downfield.
00:19:05.839 --> 00:19:15.200
And it was not a glorious journey, and it did have lots of ups and downs, but my goals went from just having my office furnished to buying a beach house, and that was in a year's worth of time.
00:19:15.359 --> 00:19:15.519
Yeah.
00:19:15.759 --> 00:19:16.640
So it showed.
00:19:17.119 --> 00:19:20.799
Oh so it showed we have birds.
00:19:20.960 --> 00:19:22.640
We're uh we're in a ring of Tang Tzu.
00:19:23.279 --> 00:19:38.880
Um, so I think that just illustrates like coming from the littlest bit to current, and there's things that I wrote a long time ago that I still haven't even come close to accomplishing that were seemed like tiny dreams that are still not things that I've done.
00:19:39.200 --> 00:19:51.519
I'm so so glad you said that because I think um one of the really powerful points that we can't miss talking about is how you have to make sure you're really detached from it.
00:19:51.680 --> 00:20:02.240
So you have to feel it and want it as though it is already yours and that you hold that belief in space that it's possible, but you can't be clinging to it like your life depends on it.
00:20:02.559 --> 00:20:08.000
And I think there can be a really tricky balance with there if it's something you want so bad.
00:20:08.079 --> 00:20:11.599
It can't it needs to be truly a desire and a want, not a need.
00:20:12.079 --> 00:20:16.480
And so, um, and so you have to be okay with the timing, it is not ours.
00:20:16.799 --> 00:20:20.640
So there are to your point, I have some on there that it's so fun.
00:20:20.720 --> 00:20:30.000
Um, like I wrote for years that I um live in my dream house, which I already I do, but that I want it to have be remodeled with a designer touch.
00:20:30.079 --> 00:20:34.160
Because I, on a scale of one to ten with designer skills, I'm a negative a hundred.
00:20:34.559 --> 00:20:35.759
I'm a lesbian level.
00:20:35.839 --> 00:20:45.759
So if that's a level, sorry if anyone is just gonna stereotype, but I am exactly skill skills are like I that's my level of design.
00:20:46.240 --> 00:20:48.880
Mine's bad too, yeah, which we're both same, same.
00:20:49.119 --> 00:20:59.759
So, um, anyways, and I'm like now I've met yesterday with her, and we're we were looking at wallpapers, and we're she's starting to send me mood boards, like it's it's coming to life.
00:20:59.920 --> 00:21:10.640
And I've been writing it for a few years, and but so it's also interesting because now I'm in a place where I have seen a lot of this come true that I find myself being like, oh my gosh, like what's next?
00:21:10.799 --> 00:21:18.960
Because when you write about it and you think about it and dream about it for so long, and then it's here, uh, it can also be hard to think about something even bigger.
00:21:19.119 --> 00:21:20.480
And I know you face that too.
00:21:20.559 --> 00:21:28.559
Like to have a dr a beach house in Mexico and to travel the world flying first class and doing all these things you've done.
00:21:28.640 --> 00:21:40.480
And it's like I don't know how how do you how have you gotten to a point where you're like dreaming even get bigger than I I mean we you and I ru you'll remember I had a time where I really was just stagnating in my business.
00:21:40.640 --> 00:21:51.680
And I think because when I first started, uh having things was like, you know, I'm new ish to having money, so I'm like dream car, you know, and I'm trying acquiring things.
00:21:51.920 --> 00:21:55.200
And I got to a point where I was like, am I what am I doing?
00:21:55.359 --> 00:21:57.279
Like, I don't need more stuff.
00:21:57.519 --> 00:22:05.200
And I was not connected to Like having the the dream office was like a representation of the impact I wanted to have on people.
00:22:05.759 --> 00:22:07.200
And that was such a big one for me.
00:22:07.359 --> 00:22:08.480
Bigger than slamming the door.
00:22:08.640 --> 00:22:15.279
I've had to, you know, uh the car was completely irrelevant now to me and g doesn't really bring joy.
00:22:15.519 --> 00:22:18.880
So I think as I was what I thought was dreaming big, I'm acquiring stuff.
00:22:19.039 --> 00:22:23.200
I would find sometimes I got it and I was like, I don't, this doesn't like your pores.
00:22:23.440 --> 00:22:26.240
Remember, every time you hit a curb, like the wheel would fall off.
00:22:26.480 --> 00:22:27.279
Like you have that.
00:22:27.759 --> 00:22:31.359
When I bounce that thing off a hundred curves, and I was like, I hate this car.
00:22:31.519 --> 00:22:35.359
And I literally I would sit in it and be like, light up, light on, something needs to change.
00:22:35.519 --> 00:22:37.519
I'm like, I this is not meant for a country girl.
00:22:37.759 --> 00:22:39.839
I'm too I cannot have these nice of things.
00:22:39.920 --> 00:22:43.039
It's like my Louis Vuitton bag with lipstick stains on the inside of it.
00:22:43.119 --> 00:22:45.599
Like there are things that are just not meant for a girl like me.
00:22:45.759 --> 00:22:47.920
And the I can I can only go so leveled.
00:22:48.160 --> 00:22:58.319
But I was realizing, like, I'm getting stuff, and I maybe still had some imposter syndrome and wanted to look the part of whatever I thought, but it wasn't translating to my my growth.
00:22:58.480 --> 00:23:01.279
And that's when I had to look and be like, this is not what matters to me.
00:23:01.440 --> 00:23:04.240
How can I give more to causes I care about?
00:23:04.319 --> 00:23:08.400
How the a podcast was a big thing on mine to say, can we share this belief system?
00:23:08.559 --> 00:23:14.480
This stuff matters to me a lot more and gives me that renewed energy over acquiring more things.
00:23:14.559 --> 00:23:15.680
But I think it was just a journey.
00:23:15.759 --> 00:23:23.279
I need it's like a poor kid's journey when you're, you know, coming up from your college days and you're on your own after your parents are done with you.
00:23:23.519 --> 00:23:34.960
You think of like a successful person wears a Rolex watch and they and it's a very new money way of being because you're trying to to overcome the imposter syndrome.
00:23:35.200 --> 00:23:38.319
But um I found for sure that those things were not.
00:23:38.480 --> 00:23:53.680
I mean, I I like shop, but I think um I really had to look at what was possible for and what was you know what my responsibility was and what was bringing me joy to just think about what are my dreams beyond me, me, me, my stuff, my kids.
00:23:54.000 --> 00:24:03.279
I love that you shared that because it is so much, it should be really about the joy and abundance and how it makes you feel um, not the having that thing.
00:24:03.440 --> 00:24:03.599
Yeah.
00:24:03.759 --> 00:24:15.200
And so I know in mine I even write about my like relationship with my husband, how I want our our marriage to be so fulfilling, and um, I write about my kids and like what they're like what I want for them.
00:24:15.279 --> 00:24:17.680
And again, I write it as though it's already happened.
00:24:17.839 --> 00:24:26.720
So it doesn't have to be about things, but it is interesting that um I've gotten to that place too where I wanted it to be more about how do I feel and what's the impact.
00:24:26.960 --> 00:24:28.720
And what is a life I want to leave behind?
00:24:28.799 --> 00:24:30.400
I think relationships are a big one.
00:24:30.480 --> 00:24:35.279
Like I have in here, I'm in a healthy, happy, loving, safe relationship.
00:24:35.519 --> 00:24:42.559
And I would write that over and over again, but one that was eluding me, uh, where I'm like, oh, I'm still no, okay, I'll be.
00:24:42.960 --> 00:24:55.519
But I was having such financial success, but thought things in my personal life, or I would say I have meaningful friendships and I have, you know, my boys are thriving and feel loved and I have quality time.
00:24:55.759 --> 00:24:58.640
And those were things that I I was always worried about losing.
00:24:58.720 --> 00:25:05.200
But I felt like when I, you know, regardless of what my paycheck says, this is how I want to feel in my home.
00:25:05.279 --> 00:25:09.519
I want to curl up to someone that loves me and I know that we're a good team.
00:25:09.599 --> 00:25:12.720
I want to walk in and know that my kids are happy and supported.
00:25:12.799 --> 00:25:15.279
And I think those are things I'm still honestly working on.
00:25:15.440 --> 00:25:15.759
Yeah.
00:25:16.160 --> 00:25:18.799
Same, same work in progress.
00:25:19.119 --> 00:25:20.160
Work in progress always.
00:25:20.319 --> 00:25:22.079
I hope you enjoyed our zoo today.
00:25:25.599 --> 00:25:26.880
I feel like it smells smells.
00:25:27.359 --> 00:25:27.839
I do too.
00:25:27.920 --> 00:25:30.079
There's problems in here somewhere.
00:25:30.319 --> 00:25:34.160
And thank you for tuning in and get going on your journey.
00:25:34.400 --> 00:25:35.359
Yes, bring it.
00:25:35.599 --> 00:25:36.319
Thanks, guys.
00:25:36.480 --> 00:25:36.880
Bye.
