WEBVTT
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Welcome to the Lipstick Alchemist, the podcast for ambitious women ready to stop playing it safe and start living in alignment.
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We'll explore the mindset shifts, the soul nudges, and awaken the version of you you were always meant to be.
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Alright, before we get into it, we have a very big announcement.
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I'm so excited.
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We need to introduce you to two new very um very important men in my life that just came here.
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Not just one, but two.
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Two, two.
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And one's never enough.
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This is Crouton.
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And this little cutie pie is Teddy.
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I'm gonna call him Teddy Ruxpin.
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I know, and we're so in love with them.
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So and sprinkles, of course, the big mama is down where she usually is for our podcast.
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We are dog people, and I just um I'm so excited to have him here.
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I forgot how much work puppies are.
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I know when well, you know, when you said you were gonna have not just one, but two eyes.
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I always go baby.
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They said you're crazy, and you said shut the hell up, go away.
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I know whenever you tell me things I don't want to hear, I'm like, get out of my office.
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And then I always come back and I'm like, oh, she's right, but but I'm still not gonna listen.
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I'm not I'm not gonna give her that.
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So if you're listening on um Spotify or Apple, you need to come check out YouTube to see these little cutie patooties.
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But they're gonna be hanging out with us for a bit.
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We'll see.
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Maybe they'll rest.
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You've got a wiggly one.
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I do have a wiggly one.
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So we want to get straight into a little bit of our content, and a lot of people have been talking to us to us more and more about just the practical application of really implementing limiting beliefs and building life your dreams.
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And I think we started on the highest level and are kind of building our story throughout.
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But what we thought we'd talk about today is something that we hear all about it all the time about in manifestation and and money beliefs, which is journaling.
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And you get a lot of tips around, you know, write down your dream life, dream it over and over, dream it over and over.
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And we want to just share a little bit about our journeys and sort of what this looks like in real time and when you're actually applying those concepts to your to your world.
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So I think, you know, journaling and manifestation is all about dreaming big.
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But for me, I'll start it off, you know, there was a time not very long ago where I'm sitting in a cubicle working with my hunchback, you know, typing away on my hamster wheel.
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And if I had had written down even my life today, even just five or six years ago, I it would have been laughable and kind of demoralizing.
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I couldn't say, you know, take two trips a year, have, you know, do X, Y, and Z.
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It would have been really a sad I would have looked at that and thought, well, that would be nice, take two trips a year, but I'm barely making it to the grocery store without having to use my credit card.
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And it just wouldn't have made any sense.
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So we want to talk about the step before dreaming big, which is, and I think when you go, you'll know if you're at this step, if when you go to write down your dream life, you it feels ridiculous.
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Like you're writing down, you know, fly first class and you're like, I can't even afford to travel right now.
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How I'm lucky to use my Southwest Airlines voice.
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Exactly.
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And I think that's the stage that's even more important before the dreaming big.
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So if you start to journal, which I hope you all do, and you feel like you can't even get to the place where you can have a dream bigger than pay all my bills and have$1.50 left over, then this is the step that we want to talk about as the as step one to that.
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Yeah, I I mean, I agree because I think we, I think it's so important as you get into the visualization and when we get to talking about dreaming or journaling, like what your true dreams are, you have to be able to connect with whatever it is that you're thinking about.
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And it can feel, it can feel far away.
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It can feel like that's not gonna happen tomorrow, but it has to feel like a dream or desire that you can actually do.
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Um, which I think they even say like lottery people don't actually win this huge lottery because it's really impossible for our subconscious to ever connect with numbers that high.
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And so we have to find that place of like dreaming big, but knowing that somewhere in my future life, this is possible.
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And so to your point, when you when you can't actually get there, then we have to take a step back to start to uncover, okay, why not?
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What is holding me back?
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And so that's I'm super excited that we're we're kind of talking about this first.
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And I think I think the biggest, you know, tether up to dreaming big is our current circumstance.
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Yeah.
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Because if you are in a a salary job that has a limit to it or um and you have big dreams, you're in a place where you know your your life circumstance doesn't allow you to get, you know, to get to that place that you really want to be.
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And that's where we have to turn the mirror in and say where you're living today, your financial situation, your your fitness, your health and your relationships is a reflection of your beliefs about yourself.
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Yes.
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And I think the hardest thing for me was, you know, you get to this place where you see other people around and you you see them.
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I would be sitting in a cubicle next to somebody doing the exact same job who was soaring.
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And it would be able to do what I did.
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But for me, I wasn't in that in the right seat.
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And I think that's the hard work is what what beliefs are keeping me stuck where I can't even dream at 35, 40 years old, what's next for me.
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That's a sad place to be.
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And that's I think where the hard work comes in because you have to really look at what what choices have I made that have landed me in this circumstance?
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Not my marriage ended, not it's not fair, not they picked another person over me.
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Yeah.
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Those choice it your life really is, you've designed it.
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And if you can't dream big, you have to the hardest step I think is to look at how you're holding yourself back and not prejudge, just take the tiniest step to unwind those beliefs.
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And the first step is looking at them and really seeing if they're true or not.
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And I think they're so, I mean, just to even take a step back on journaling for those for people who aren't really doing it yet.
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Um, you know, I think often we probably, when you hear that term, you can maybe roll your eyes a little thinking, like, oh, dear diary that I have with my lockets back in, you know, 1985.
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With a feathery pen.
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Which that works, you know, that made us like think about what was on our heart.
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But I think as we've we evolve, I remember even um travel journal journaling was my favorite because as I've looked back, there were so many little memories that you forget about, like those tiny moments when you're traveling or living life.
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And so it can be a fun way to connect back to yourself.
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But in this particular kind, um, it's just so amazing because you can use it in a way where you're really putting your brain aside and connecting to your emotions and just truly trying to figure out what is holding me back or what my beliefs are.
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And so um I think that that can be just a really powerful way to step aside from your conscious, like what's the awareness, and like really let you speak from from with what is within.
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I and I think that what you said there's so important with the it's not in your conscious system because we all have had life circumstances that have, you know, we can assign blame to and that have landed us in places that were less desirable.
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But I think your subconscious beliefs are really your operating system that you're using without even really knowing.
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Yes.
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And I'll I'll give an example of mine because I I had a lot of limiting beliefs, and we've talked about this before.
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The way that I came to the next phase of my life was not because I designed the life of my dreams.
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It was because I it was out of necessity and really because I was having a lack of success.
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And um, you know, in a time in my life where I really needed to make some changes, or I was not gonna, I was gonna have to make big changes and not be able to afford even my current lifestyle.
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But for me, the difference between being in a salary job and owning my own business, I I think fundamentally I carried a belief that I'm inherently a lazy person.
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Oh.
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Which I didn't, and I am which you're not.
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I totally am 100%.
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If you look at my gym record, I am a lazy fuck.
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And I I can't help it.
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I am I'm a potato, pouch potato on the couch eating.
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I you know I could eat snacks all weekend and take like every shortcut, but I really don't think of you as I feel like you are also so amazing though, at um when I think of you from a work perspective, you do you're like magic.
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Like things, things happen and come to you.
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And so you because that's what you believe, like you believe the possibility is there, which is also what we talk about, that it doesn't have to be this grind to go after what you want.
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And maybe that's something that for you has evolved over time, but I don't think of you as lazy at all.
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I think for the record, really peeling back on my exercise routine and my physical fitness say otherwise.
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But I I think when I looked at that though, I think I um, you know, if my grades were low or it was like you're not working hard enough.
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And in my my corporate job, I was not, you know, overworking and staying late and grinding it out.
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And so I thought, you know, I'm somebody who's not, you know, gonna work very hard.
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But when I really peeled that back, my laziness is around things that I don't enjoy.
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Like I either fuck with you all the way or I'm not.
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Like I have two modes.
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That's very true.
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All in between.
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You're not in between.
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No.
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And I it was only when I discovered my passion and alignment that I have found such, I mean, such energy and such passion behind the work.
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So was the belief true that I'm lazy?
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I have those traits for sure.
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But it was a trait that I looked at to say, maybe if I found something that was my passion, like other things that I've aligned to, where I'm not lazy, spending time with my kids, um, you know, I don't know what would be another example.
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That's really the only one.
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Um, I could, I would feel this energy and passion towards it that would push my effort in that direction.
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And that's exactly what happened.
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I think I I'm somebody who can be lazy, but I was misaligned professionally.
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And once I peeled that back, I feel I've never felt so excited and never wanted to do anything more than what we do day to day.
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So that's an example of a belief that really was holding me back.
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Not I knew I was talented in certain ways, but I did think that I was somebody who who wasn't a very hard worker.
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And did you at what point did you start journaling around stuff like that?
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Like, is that what helped you kind of come to some of these conclusions?
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I have a dog here on my lip.
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I keep saying I can't see it from here because I don't have my glasses on, I couldn't see it anyway.
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But he is like a furry cat, so it's probably covering your face.
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I think I didn't, I didn't really get into journaling the way I wish I would have until I messed myself up.
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So it was sort of like finding myself in this new role and being, you know, having the freedom to design my life from scratch.
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But a lot of times my journaling was about my emotions or, you know, things like that.
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But I wasn't really an active journaler.
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So when I got into the role and I was, you know, into my my own business and I was, I had such anxiety and I thought, gosh, everyone's gonna see me fail.
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I'm gonna have to go out and and come back in and beg for my old job back, and everyone will know that I was terrible at what I did.
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And it was this fear, but the heart of it was, you know, I don't have the work ethic to succeed.
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So that when I started feeling that anxiousness, I mean, I would grind my teeth down to smithereens when I first started in the role, and I'd be like, why am I so anxious?
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I'm having success.
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Yeah, and I think crushing it.
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That's when I had to really identify those limiting beliefs.
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So I was already swimming downstream trying to try to hang on to the line.
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Like a salmon.
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Yes, I was like not spearfishing yet.
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I was sort of like naked and afraid, just trying to be like, I feel like I'm doing okay.
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But I am crying every day in my shower and grinding my teeth to smithereens.
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I'm gonna have chiclets by the end if I don't figure out why I'm so afraid of what's right in front of me.
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Well, and so I think the if we talk specifically about like what the action is, you know, to take for me, what has really helped me is literally getting out the journal.
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And as you're thinking, like, what am I trying to figure out?
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You just write, write that question.
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Like, um, what is what is lit, what is holding me back?
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I've done that before.
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Like I literally just write that question and you don't think you just put the pen to paper.
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And it is truly the wildest thing I one of the wildest things I've experienced because you just it starts coming to you.
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Like you just write and write and write.
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And sometimes the sentences don't all come together, but it I feel like every time I do it, like my mouth drops because I'm like, how is like I literally just asked this question, like, where is this answer coming from?
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Like it's wild.
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But um, I looked it up because I wanted to like sound really smart today.
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Good job.
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Because I was like, why does this work?
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And of course, I'm not gonna sound smart because all of it was like mumbo jumbo that I was like, I'm not gonna be able to translate this, but feel free to do some research.
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But what I understood that it did talk about was um your pre-frontal cortex.
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So the first part of your brain is where you tend to overthink.
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And so when you do it, it removes that part of your brain and it lets the emotions just come up.
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So you truly are answering, like writing what your subconscious actually thinks.
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And so I just think it is the cool coolest tool that I probably need to be using more.
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How do you do you use it the same way or I really now I don't I look at my limiting beliefs now?
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Um, I think because I've had so many experiences in ignoring them and self-assessing that to me it's like a muscle where I um and even we've talked this year, like sometimes I'll go through phases and I'm generally very, you know, good with money, but I'll go through phases where I'm sp my spending will be egregious.
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And I'm like, what how did all these things with tags get into my closet and where is all my money?
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Or I'll I'll do my taxes and be like, made a lot, have don't have and those are times when I'll say, like, I'm not good with money, and then I I hear myself say it and I know right away to take that out and go, Yeah, is that true?
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Sometimes it is, but more often than not, I'm very good with money and spending is usually a symptom of something else going on or just you know, boredom, or so I think I do it more real time when I feel myself stuck in my life, and I try to spend most of my time now believing in myself and knowing that I have a million terrible traits and a million things that are true about me and a million things that are.
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But if I can dream those big dreams and really attach myself to the bigger dream.
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So now instead of spending all my time on limiting beliefs, I spend it on the next phase of my life and who we want to help and who I want to help in the community.
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And that's the place that I think is phase two.
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But I never could have gone there without really trying to understand my own emotions around already being in the sea.
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Well, and I think that speaks to the evolution in your mindset development and your personal development.
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And I know we both spent a lot of time getting there, and so a lot of cry, so much a lot of mistakes.
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Um, but you I think we we do get better as you practice these types of things of just quickly going, oh, there it is again.
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But I think it takes activities like this that can help you even uncover what it is because we didn't know that.
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Yes, and it's a part of your DNA and it's a part of your it really comes up.
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The place I see it the most, especially with people we work with, is in their dialogue.
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And so much of my humor is self-deprecating and f I am funny.
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You are really funny.
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Thank you.
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Um, I needed that today.
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And I think, but even when I make jokes at my expense, uh a lot of that is um, you know, sometimes negative self-talk or things that are, and I catch myself saying things over and over, and I'm like, okay, something in me believes that this is true.
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And I I think I do have an awareness enough because I listen to other people's language and I try to help other people that repeat things that are are not helpful and try to help them identify like, do you is that something you really believe, or is it just something you've been told, or something that represents this part of your life that's really not true about your your belief system at all?
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Well, I I actually went through, I know both of us went through our journals and um it was really I was thinking maybe I would read a little entry talking about just some at least part of it that sort of emphasizes what we were talking about.
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So this was just from a few years ago, and I think it demonstrates this um idea.
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And so I was, I wrote, I had an aha last night that I have a limiting belief that's been holding me back.
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It's that I think I was lucky last year and that I can't do it again.
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So I'm writing to sort it out and get to the bottom of this because if I can do it once with God, we can do it again and again and again.
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And so the question I wrote was, why do I feel like I can't do it again?
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And I remember when I read this, I was like, ooh, it kind of like all came back to me.
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Like I remember going, oh no, I was just lucky, you know.
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And so I just wrote that and I immediately started writing the response.
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And I wrote, it just seems like I was lucky.
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And then in January, it didn't go as well, which in reinforced to me that it's already starting to be true.
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But do I really think it's true?
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No, I have faith and belief, and then why would that even come up?
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Because I'm scared I can't do it again, and now I've set the bar so high, what if I can't reach it?
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So it's fear, fear of failure, embarrassment, and every little situation not working has led me to believe it's already happening.
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And then I kind of went on and on to go from there.
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But like just reading that back is like, wow, like I don't even think at the time that's what I realized was happening.
00:17:45.839 --> 00:17:56.640
And so it really helped me be able to reflect on like, oh, okay, so if that's not true, like what how do I how do I start to turn that story around and believe something different?
00:17:56.960 --> 00:17:59.680
And obviously you've been lucky year after year after year now.
00:17:59.759 --> 00:18:15.039
So clearly wasn't true, but but I think what's even bigger, like as your friend listening to that, what strikes me about it is the story around luck really implies that you don't have maybe the talent that's sustainable.
00:18:15.119 --> 00:18:16.559
Like there's a belief system down there.
00:18:16.640 --> 00:18:29.119
I don't know everything I need to know, which is and I look at um it's funny when you're when you know somebody so well and you watch the things that play out in their head and you're their good friend that watches them work every single day, and you're like, how what?
00:18:29.359 --> 00:18:31.519
Like that doesn't even what are you talking about?
00:18:31.680 --> 00:18:46.240
But when I look at it, I think to say I'm lucky is to say is really to say, you know, this I don't have maybe all the my results aren't the res aren't assigned to my talent, my heart and I work watch you work your balls off, your bullocks off.
00:18:46.480 --> 00:18:57.119
And I I mean and you you really um I mean I think the isn't that the saying the harder the harder I work the luckier I get.
00:18:57.279 --> 00:18:57.920
Yep, yes.
00:18:58.079 --> 00:19:18.240
But I think it's uh luck is really also diminishing your core talent and who you are as a person to say, I'm not maybe not worthy of this and it's only gonna be a one-time strike, or what I possess inside isn't an like I is gonna the curtain's gonna be pulled back and people will be like, oh my gosh, she's just lucky.
00:19:18.480 --> 00:19:26.559
And I think that is what because you work so hard and you're very skilled at what you do, and I think luck would be the last thing I would ever think of.
00:19:26.640 --> 00:19:34.799
But it's funny, so interesting, and I think that's why having a good girlfriend to like even test that out with to be like, number one, I don't think you're that lucky.
00:19:34.880 --> 00:19:36.640
You run out of gas all the time.
00:19:36.880 --> 00:19:39.599
You're not like you're not finding four leaf clovers everywhere.
00:19:39.680 --> 00:19:43.039
So thanks to Lori and husband for always coming to my rescue.
00:19:43.359 --> 00:19:46.640
So I don't poor leaf clovers.
00:19:46.720 --> 00:19:47.359
I never have actually.
00:19:47.680 --> 00:19:49.279
No, you're not a rabbit's foot carrier.
00:19:49.440 --> 00:19:51.200
I think I'm luckier than you, honestly.
00:19:51.279 --> 00:19:56.319
If we had to go toe-to-toe, you work very hard and you care about people and love what you do.
00:19:56.480 --> 00:20:00.000
So I luck wouldn't even be anything that I or any of your friends would say.
00:20:00.240 --> 00:20:03.039
But how funny that that's what come came up.
00:20:03.119 --> 00:20:04.960
And it's so not even a real thing.
00:20:05.119 --> 00:20:05.599
Same thing.
00:20:05.839 --> 00:20:08.559
Well, and they what um what it's so important.
00:20:08.720 --> 00:20:11.519
Like, we haven't even talked about this until I shared that with you, you know.
00:20:11.680 --> 00:20:15.599
And it was so interesting to me that you brought up the self-worth piece.
00:20:15.759 --> 00:20:25.440
Because even though, because even though I reflected on that, I don't even think I got as far as what it really meant, which to your point is, and that what an mother effort that is.
00:20:25.599 --> 00:20:31.440
That that truly comes down to like my word, what maybe is my worthiness and how I valued myself.
00:20:31.599 --> 00:20:46.240
Um, so I think it emphasizes your point around making sure you have those good people like that love you so much that you can have these types of conversations, like having girlfriends that you can be like, holy crap, this is what I like, this is what came up, and be able to talk about it.
00:20:46.400 --> 00:20:48.559
Yes, and somebody who knows you and can.
00:20:48.720 --> 00:20:55.920
I think also you sometimes just don't even like you're somebody who has high self-worth.
00:20:56.079 --> 00:20:57.200
So as as a person.
00:20:57.279 --> 00:21:06.160
So I don't think people would ever look at you and say, you're not competent or capable, or and you I know you have high self-worth in yourself by how you what you choose and how you live your life.
00:21:06.319 --> 00:21:13.119
But I think there's there can be, you could have high self-worth and have places in your life where insecurity reigns queens.
00:21:13.519 --> 00:21:20.880
So just because you love yourself and you you think you're you're proud of yourself doesn't mean that there aren't places in your life where your self-worth is lower than others.
00:21:21.119 --> 00:21:39.680
Well, and sometimes with self-worth, it's you have it, but you're always feeling like you have to prove yourself, which is a gajillion percent my inner child, like me always feeling like I had to be that straight A student, the you know, the the disciplined one, the one that you think the performer.
00:21:39.839 --> 00:21:41.839
And so I do see that creep up a lot.
00:21:42.000 --> 00:21:44.720
So that's I think and we're both Leo's same birthday.
00:21:44.799 --> 00:21:45.680
So I think we're the same.
00:21:45.759 --> 00:21:47.759
We're like, yeah, please love me.
00:21:47.839 --> 00:21:50.160
I'm gonna ride my unicycle and juggle.
00:21:50.480 --> 00:21:56.160
And I think you you know, you as you mature, you hopefully can unwind some of those beliefs.
00:21:56.319 --> 00:22:12.160
But um, it's it's so strange in retrospect because I feel Like I've lived a lifetime in this second phase of my life, and I look back on that person sitting in the cubicle that couldn't even imagine having really, I mean, extra money in a savings account.
00:22:12.240 --> 00:22:19.279
You know, the circumstances I'm so grateful for because they were not pretty that brought me here really saved me.
00:22:19.359 --> 00:22:28.720
And but I think I couldn't have dreamt big, and I think a lot of us can't because your safety and your excuses and your subconscious behavior is keeping you stuck.
00:22:28.960 --> 00:22:31.920
Yeah, you're really tethered to your current reality.
00:22:32.160 --> 00:22:32.240
Yeah.
00:22:32.319 --> 00:22:46.240
And you say that I would always say things like, Oh, I'd love to go start my own business, but who's, you know, I've got a safe salary, who's gonna pay the bills and who's gonna, but I those were excuses made because I felt like I was somebody who was not gonna work hard enough to have success.
00:22:46.400 --> 00:22:56.960
And so unwinding the I wish I had unwound those beliefs and been proactive about really um assigning responsibility to myself for the circumstances I was in.
00:22:57.119 --> 00:22:59.200
But so often when you Good or bad, right?
00:22:59.279 --> 00:23:05.039
Because also, again, back to the luck, you can be like, oh, well, that was just me being lucky when it happened.
00:23:05.599 --> 00:23:06.799
I am lucky.
00:23:08.000 --> 00:23:09.680
I no, I'm really not at all.
00:23:09.839 --> 00:23:11.359
But I think that's right.
00:23:11.440 --> 00:23:15.200
And I think you you have to have the courage to look at where you're sitting today.
00:23:15.440 --> 00:23:22.720
And even if and I think sometimes it's like, well, nice for her to, you know, talk about having a designer purse.
00:23:22.880 --> 00:23:27.680
I have bills to pay and I have you are the reason that you're sitting in that spot.
00:23:27.839 --> 00:23:32.079
And if there is a disconnect and you feel that discontent, it means there's more for you.
00:23:32.240 --> 00:23:34.400
Not that you suck, not that you're stuck there.
00:23:34.480 --> 00:23:41.759
And I think we like we always talk about, we're not suggesting you hit the eject button and are like, I've looked at my limiting beliefs and I'm quitting my job.
00:23:42.000 --> 00:23:52.079
It's really about just taking those micro steps to be like, okay, I'm 40 years old and I'm pretty mediocre, you know, across the board.
00:23:52.319 --> 00:23:58.000
What, what is it about me and my life and my what I believe about myself that is keeping me here?
00:23:58.079 --> 00:24:07.519
And if you just look at them every once a week, or you really get honest with yourself and and begin to unwind and say, you know, can I question these things?
00:24:07.680 --> 00:24:08.319
Are they logical?
00:24:08.400 --> 00:24:09.519
Just don't prejudge them.
00:24:09.599 --> 00:24:15.759
Look at it as though it's your um like your best girlfriend and saying, okay, you know, am I lazy?
00:24:15.839 --> 00:24:16.400
Is that true?
00:24:16.559 --> 00:24:22.240
Yeah, like you can funnily look at it and say, would this be true if I was aligned to my passion?
00:24:22.400 --> 00:24:24.880
And just begin to take the micro steps.
00:24:24.960 --> 00:24:25.200
Yeah.
00:24:25.440 --> 00:24:32.720
Because this is not a find the courage on a Tuesday and resign on a Friday and your million-dollar business on Monday.
00:24:32.880 --> 00:24:37.519
It's truly slowly unwinding the circumstances and the belief systems that got you here.
00:24:37.759 --> 00:24:41.519
Regardless if they were your own, you are a victim of certain circumstances.
00:24:41.759 --> 00:24:49.519
Um that's what gets you to step two, which is now how can I get to a place where I can begin to think that there's more?
00:24:49.920 --> 00:24:51.440
And then you link those two together.
00:24:51.519 --> 00:24:56.160
Cause with the big one when you're stuck in a place that doesn't allow you to.
00:24:56.400 --> 00:24:57.119
Yeah, awesome.
00:24:57.200 --> 00:24:59.599
Well, this is a fun conversation for me.
00:24:59.680 --> 00:25:02.319
And I hope you all got a lot out of it.
00:25:02.559 --> 00:25:06.079
Um, so we I would love to hear, I know both of us would love to hear.
00:25:06.160 --> 00:25:14.960
If you are open to sharing, um, I think a good step for you to take um following this episode is to to do exactly what we've talked about.
00:25:15.119 --> 00:25:20.480
Come up with a question, um, ask yourself that question and just write what comes to mind.
00:25:20.720 --> 00:25:26.880
Um, and we'd love to hear what you you uncovered and start to peel that back, maybe you know, day after day.
00:25:27.039 --> 00:25:34.160
Um, and then we'll come back here and talk about the really fun part, which is how you can journal about the dreams and your vision in the future life.
00:25:34.240 --> 00:25:35.200
So I'm excited.
00:25:35.440 --> 00:25:35.680
Me too.
00:25:35.920 --> 00:25:37.039
Thank you, pups, for joining.
00:25:37.200 --> 00:25:40.079
Oh, now the ones, now little the teddy sleep on.
00:25:40.799 --> 00:25:42.000
Pretty tootie says, see you later.
00:00:00.080 --> 00:00:07.040
Welcome to the Lipstick Alchemist, the podcast for ambitious women ready to stop playing it safe and start living in alignment.
00:00:07.200 --> 00:00:13.199
We'll explore the mindset shifts, the soul nudges, and awaken the version of you you were always meant to be.
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Alright, before we get into it, we have a very big announcement.
00:00:18.960 --> 00:00:19.839
I'm so excited.
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We need to introduce you to two new very um very important men in my life that just came here.
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Not just one, but two.
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Two, two.
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And one's never enough.
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This is Crouton.
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And this little cutie pie is Teddy.
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I'm gonna call him Teddy Ruxpin.
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I know, and we're so in love with them.
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So and sprinkles, of course, the big mama is down where she usually is for our podcast.
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We are dog people, and I just um I'm so excited to have him here.
00:00:48.719 --> 00:00:50.960
I forgot how much work puppies are.
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I know when well, you know, when you said you were gonna have not just one, but two eyes.
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I always go baby.
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They said you're crazy, and you said shut the hell up, go away.
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I know whenever you tell me things I don't want to hear, I'm like, get out of my office.
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And then I always come back and I'm like, oh, she's right, but but I'm still not gonna listen.
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I'm not I'm not gonna give her that.
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So if you're listening on um Spotify or Apple, you need to come check out YouTube to see these little cutie patooties.
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But they're gonna be hanging out with us for a bit.
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We'll see.
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Maybe they'll rest.
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You've got a wiggly one.
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I do have a wiggly one.
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So we want to get straight into a little bit of our content, and a lot of people have been talking to us to us more and more about just the practical application of really implementing limiting beliefs and building life your dreams.
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And I think we started on the highest level and are kind of building our story throughout.
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But what we thought we'd talk about today is something that we hear all about it all the time about in manifestation and and money beliefs, which is journaling.
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And you get a lot of tips around, you know, write down your dream life, dream it over and over, dream it over and over.
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And we want to just share a little bit about our journeys and sort of what this looks like in real time and when you're actually applying those concepts to your to your world.
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So I think, you know, journaling and manifestation is all about dreaming big.
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But for me, I'll start it off, you know, there was a time not very long ago where I'm sitting in a cubicle working with my hunchback, you know, typing away on my hamster wheel.
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And if I had had written down even my life today, even just five or six years ago, I it would have been laughable and kind of demoralizing.
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I couldn't say, you know, take two trips a year, have, you know, do X, Y, and Z.
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It would have been really a sad I would have looked at that and thought, well, that would be nice, take two trips a year, but I'm barely making it to the grocery store without having to use my credit card.
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And it just wouldn't have made any sense.
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So we want to talk about the step before dreaming big, which is, and I think when you go, you'll know if you're at this step, if when you go to write down your dream life, you it feels ridiculous.
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Like you're writing down, you know, fly first class and you're like, I can't even afford to travel right now.
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How I'm lucky to use my Southwest Airlines voice.
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Exactly.
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And I think that's the stage that's even more important before the dreaming big.
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So if you start to journal, which I hope you all do, and you feel like you can't even get to the place where you can have a dream bigger than pay all my bills and have$1.50 left over, then this is the step that we want to talk about as the as step one to that.
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Yeah, I I mean, I agree because I think we, I think it's so important as you get into the visualization and when we get to talking about dreaming or journaling, like what your true dreams are, you have to be able to connect with whatever it is that you're thinking about.
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And it can feel, it can feel far away.
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It can feel like that's not gonna happen tomorrow, but it has to feel like a dream or desire that you can actually do.
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Um, which I think they even say like lottery people don't actually win this huge lottery because it's really impossible for our subconscious to ever connect with numbers that high.
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And so we have to find that place of like dreaming big, but knowing that somewhere in my future life, this is possible.
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And so to your point, when you when you can't actually get there, then we have to take a step back to start to uncover, okay, why not?
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What is holding me back?
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And so that's I'm super excited that we're we're kind of talking about this first.
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And I think I think the biggest, you know, tether up to dreaming big is our current circumstance.
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Yeah.
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Because if you are in a a salary job that has a limit to it or um and you have big dreams, you're in a place where you know your your life circumstance doesn't allow you to get, you know, to get to that place that you really want to be.
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And that's where we have to turn the mirror in and say where you're living today, your financial situation, your your fitness, your health and your relationships is a reflection of your beliefs about yourself.
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Yes.
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And I think the hardest thing for me was, you know, you get to this place where you see other people around and you you see them.
00:05:04.399 --> 00:05:08.639
I would be sitting in a cubicle next to somebody doing the exact same job who was soaring.
00:05:08.879 --> 00:05:11.360
And it would be able to do what I did.
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But for me, I wasn't in that in the right seat.
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And I think that's the hard work is what what beliefs are keeping me stuck where I can't even dream at 35, 40 years old, what's next for me.
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That's a sad place to be.
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And that's I think where the hard work comes in because you have to really look at what what choices have I made that have landed me in this circumstance?
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Not my marriage ended, not it's not fair, not they picked another person over me.
00:05:36.720 --> 00:05:36.879
Yeah.
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Those choice it your life really is, you've designed it.
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And if you can't dream big, you have to the hardest step I think is to look at how you're holding yourself back and not prejudge, just take the tiniest step to unwind those beliefs.
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And the first step is looking at them and really seeing if they're true or not.
00:05:54.319 --> 00:06:01.040
And I think they're so, I mean, just to even take a step back on journaling for those for people who aren't really doing it yet.
00:06:01.199 --> 00:06:11.759
Um, you know, I think often we probably, when you hear that term, you can maybe roll your eyes a little thinking, like, oh, dear diary that I have with my lockets back in, you know, 1985.
00:06:12.000 --> 00:06:12.879
With a feathery pen.
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Which that works, you know, that made us like think about what was on our heart.
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But I think as we've we evolve, I remember even um travel journal journaling was my favorite because as I've looked back, there were so many little memories that you forget about, like those tiny moments when you're traveling or living life.
00:06:29.600 --> 00:06:32.959
And so it can be a fun way to connect back to yourself.
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But in this particular kind, um, it's just so amazing because you can use it in a way where you're really putting your brain aside and connecting to your emotions and just truly trying to figure out what is holding me back or what my beliefs are.
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And so um I think that that can be just a really powerful way to step aside from your conscious, like what's the awareness, and like really let you speak from from with what is within.
00:07:03.839 --> 00:07:16.000
I and I think that what you said there's so important with the it's not in your conscious system because we all have had life circumstances that have, you know, we can assign blame to and that have landed us in places that were less desirable.
00:07:16.240 --> 00:07:23.040
But I think your subconscious beliefs are really your operating system that you're using without even really knowing.
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Yes.
00:07:23.759 --> 00:07:29.600
And I'll I'll give an example of mine because I I had a lot of limiting beliefs, and we've talked about this before.
00:07:29.839 --> 00:07:35.360
The way that I came to the next phase of my life was not because I designed the life of my dreams.
00:07:35.519 --> 00:07:41.759
It was because I it was out of necessity and really because I was having a lack of success.
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And um, you know, in a time in my life where I really needed to make some changes, or I was not gonna, I was gonna have to make big changes and not be able to afford even my current lifestyle.
00:07:52.240 --> 00:08:03.839
But for me, the difference between being in a salary job and owning my own business, I I think fundamentally I carried a belief that I'm inherently a lazy person.
00:08:04.079 --> 00:08:04.240
Oh.
00:08:04.720 --> 00:08:07.199
Which I didn't, and I am which you're not.
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I totally am 100%.
00:08:09.199 --> 00:08:12.399
If you look at my gym record, I am a lazy fuck.
00:08:12.560 --> 00:08:14.079
And I I can't help it.
00:08:14.160 --> 00:08:17.040
I am I'm a potato, pouch potato on the couch eating.
00:08:17.199 --> 00:08:28.800
I you know I could eat snacks all weekend and take like every shortcut, but I really don't think of you as I feel like you are also so amazing though, at um when I think of you from a work perspective, you do you're like magic.
00:08:28.879 --> 00:08:31.279
Like things, things happen and come to you.
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And so you because that's what you believe, like you believe the possibility is there, which is also what we talk about, that it doesn't have to be this grind to go after what you want.
00:08:40.720 --> 00:08:45.759
And maybe that's something that for you has evolved over time, but I don't think of you as lazy at all.
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I think for the record, really peeling back on my exercise routine and my physical fitness say otherwise.
00:08:51.840 --> 00:08:59.519
But I I think when I looked at that though, I think I um, you know, if my grades were low or it was like you're not working hard enough.
00:08:59.679 --> 00:09:06.399
And in my my corporate job, I was not, you know, overworking and staying late and grinding it out.
00:09:06.559 --> 00:09:12.159
And so I thought, you know, I'm somebody who's not, you know, gonna work very hard.
00:09:12.399 --> 00:09:18.240
But when I really peeled that back, my laziness is around things that I don't enjoy.
00:09:18.320 --> 00:09:21.200
Like I either fuck with you all the way or I'm not.
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Like I have two modes.
00:09:22.480 --> 00:09:22.879
That's very true.
00:09:23.120 --> 00:09:23.519
All in between.
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You're not in between.
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No.
00:09:25.759 --> 00:09:33.679
And I it was only when I discovered my passion and alignment that I have found such, I mean, such energy and such passion behind the work.
00:09:33.840 --> 00:09:35.919
So was the belief true that I'm lazy?
00:09:36.080 --> 00:09:37.519
I have those traits for sure.
00:09:37.679 --> 00:09:49.200
But it was a trait that I looked at to say, maybe if I found something that was my passion, like other things that I've aligned to, where I'm not lazy, spending time with my kids, um, you know, I don't know what would be another example.
00:09:49.279 --> 00:09:50.399
That's really the only one.
00:09:50.480 --> 00:09:56.879
Um, I could, I would feel this energy and passion towards it that would push my effort in that direction.
00:09:56.960 --> 00:09:58.720
And that's exactly what happened.
00:09:58.799 --> 00:10:03.360
I think I I'm somebody who can be lazy, but I was misaligned professionally.
00:10:03.440 --> 00:10:10.879
And once I peeled that back, I feel I've never felt so excited and never wanted to do anything more than what we do day to day.
00:10:11.120 --> 00:10:14.399
So that's an example of a belief that really was holding me back.
00:10:14.480 --> 00:10:20.080
Not I knew I was talented in certain ways, but I did think that I was somebody who who wasn't a very hard worker.
00:10:20.240 --> 00:10:24.159
And did you at what point did you start journaling around stuff like that?
00:10:24.320 --> 00:10:27.759
Like, is that what helped you kind of come to some of these conclusions?
00:10:28.240 --> 00:10:29.840
I have a dog here on my lip.
00:10:30.639 --> 00:10:35.279
I keep saying I can't see it from here because I don't have my glasses on, I couldn't see it anyway.
00:10:35.440 --> 00:10:38.320
But he is like a furry cat, so it's probably covering your face.
00:10:38.639 --> 00:10:46.639
I think I didn't, I didn't really get into journaling the way I wish I would have until I messed myself up.
00:10:46.799 --> 00:10:53.759
So it was sort of like finding myself in this new role and being, you know, having the freedom to design my life from scratch.
00:10:53.919 --> 00:10:59.120
But a lot of times my journaling was about my emotions or, you know, things like that.
00:10:59.200 --> 00:11:00.879
But I wasn't really an active journaler.
00:11:01.120 --> 00:11:09.519
So when I got into the role and I was, you know, into my my own business and I was, I had such anxiety and I thought, gosh, everyone's gonna see me fail.
00:11:09.600 --> 00:11:16.879
I'm gonna have to go out and and come back in and beg for my old job back, and everyone will know that I was terrible at what I did.
00:11:16.960 --> 00:11:23.120
And it was this fear, but the heart of it was, you know, I don't have the work ethic to succeed.
00:11:23.279 --> 00:11:31.039
So that when I started feeling that anxiousness, I mean, I would grind my teeth down to smithereens when I first started in the role, and I'd be like, why am I so anxious?
00:11:31.120 --> 00:11:32.240
I'm having success.
00:11:32.399 --> 00:11:33.759
Yeah, and I think crushing it.
00:11:34.000 --> 00:11:36.559
That's when I had to really identify those limiting beliefs.
00:11:36.720 --> 00:11:39.919
So I was already swimming downstream trying to try to hang on to the line.
00:11:40.399 --> 00:11:40.960
Like a salmon.
00:11:41.279 --> 00:11:44.320
Yes, I was like not spearfishing yet.
00:11:44.399 --> 00:11:48.639
I was sort of like naked and afraid, just trying to be like, I feel like I'm doing okay.
00:11:48.799 --> 00:11:52.480
But I am crying every day in my shower and grinding my teeth to smithereens.
00:11:52.559 --> 00:11:57.600
I'm gonna have chiclets by the end if I don't figure out why I'm so afraid of what's right in front of me.
00:11:57.840 --> 00:12:08.080
Well, and so I think the if we talk specifically about like what the action is, you know, to take for me, what has really helped me is literally getting out the journal.
00:12:08.320 --> 00:12:11.600
And as you're thinking, like, what am I trying to figure out?
00:12:11.759 --> 00:12:13.600
You just write, write that question.
00:12:13.840 --> 00:12:17.279
Like, um, what is what is lit, what is holding me back?
00:12:17.440 --> 00:12:18.240
I've done that before.
00:12:18.320 --> 00:12:22.559
Like I literally just write that question and you don't think you just put the pen to paper.
00:12:22.720 --> 00:12:29.840
And it is truly the wildest thing I one of the wildest things I've experienced because you just it starts coming to you.
00:12:30.000 --> 00:12:32.240
Like you just write and write and write.
00:12:32.559 --> 00:12:44.720
And sometimes the sentences don't all come together, but it I feel like every time I do it, like my mouth drops because I'm like, how is like I literally just asked this question, like, where is this answer coming from?
00:12:44.879 --> 00:12:45.759
Like it's wild.
00:12:45.919 --> 00:12:49.279
But um, I looked it up because I wanted to like sound really smart today.
00:12:49.759 --> 00:12:50.000
Good job.
00:12:50.320 --> 00:12:52.000
Because I was like, why does this work?
00:12:52.399 --> 00:13:00.240
And of course, I'm not gonna sound smart because all of it was like mumbo jumbo that I was like, I'm not gonna be able to translate this, but feel free to do some research.
00:13:00.480 --> 00:13:07.279
But what I understood that it did talk about was um your pre-frontal cortex.
00:13:07.360 --> 00:13:10.320
So the first part of your brain is where you tend to overthink.
00:13:10.480 --> 00:13:15.840
And so when you do it, it removes that part of your brain and it lets the emotions just come up.
00:13:16.000 --> 00:13:21.279
So you truly are answering, like writing what your subconscious actually thinks.
00:13:21.440 --> 00:13:25.600
And so I just think it is the cool coolest tool that I probably need to be using more.
00:13:25.759 --> 00:13:32.799
How do you do you use it the same way or I really now I don't I look at my limiting beliefs now?
00:13:33.039 --> 00:13:51.679
Um, I think because I've had so many experiences in ignoring them and self-assessing that to me it's like a muscle where I um and even we've talked this year, like sometimes I'll go through phases and I'm generally very, you know, good with money, but I'll go through phases where I'm sp my spending will be egregious.
00:13:51.759 --> 00:13:56.080
And I'm like, what how did all these things with tags get into my closet and where is all my money?
00:13:56.240 --> 00:14:10.159
Or I'll I'll do my taxes and be like, made a lot, have don't have and those are times when I'll say, like, I'm not good with money, and then I I hear myself say it and I know right away to take that out and go, Yeah, is that true?
00:14:10.559 --> 00:14:34.159
Sometimes it is, but more often than not, I'm very good with money and spending is usually a symptom of something else going on or just you know, boredom, or so I think I do it more real time when I feel myself stuck in my life, and I try to spend most of my time now believing in myself and knowing that I have a million terrible traits and a million things that are true about me and a million things that are.
00:14:34.399 --> 00:14:39.600
But if I can dream those big dreams and really attach myself to the bigger dream.
00:14:39.840 --> 00:14:47.679
So now instead of spending all my time on limiting beliefs, I spend it on the next phase of my life and who we want to help and who I want to help in the community.
00:14:47.840 --> 00:14:49.919
And that's the place that I think is phase two.
00:14:50.159 --> 00:14:57.679
But I never could have gone there without really trying to understand my own emotions around already being in the sea.
00:14:58.159 --> 00:15:03.039
Well, and I think that speaks to the evolution in your mindset development and your personal development.
00:15:03.200 --> 00:15:10.080
And I know we both spent a lot of time getting there, and so a lot of cry, so much a lot of mistakes.
00:15:10.240 --> 00:15:17.120
Um, but you I think we we do get better as you practice these types of things of just quickly going, oh, there it is again.
00:15:17.279 --> 00:15:23.840
But I think it takes activities like this that can help you even uncover what it is because we didn't know that.
00:15:24.639 --> 00:15:28.480
Yes, and it's a part of your DNA and it's a part of your it really comes up.
00:15:28.559 --> 00:15:33.120
The place I see it the most, especially with people we work with, is in their dialogue.
00:15:33.360 --> 00:15:37.440
And so much of my humor is self-deprecating and f I am funny.
00:15:37.679 --> 00:15:38.399
You are really funny.
00:15:38.799 --> 00:15:39.279
Thank you.
00:15:40.080 --> 00:15:41.679
Um, I needed that today.
00:15:42.080 --> 00:15:55.120
And I think, but even when I make jokes at my expense, uh a lot of that is um, you know, sometimes negative self-talk or things that are, and I catch myself saying things over and over, and I'm like, okay, something in me believes that this is true.
00:15:55.360 --> 00:16:14.720
And I I think I do have an awareness enough because I listen to other people's language and I try to help other people that repeat things that are are not helpful and try to help them identify like, do you is that something you really believe, or is it just something you've been told, or something that represents this part of your life that's really not true about your your belief system at all?
00:16:15.440 --> 00:16:28.559
Well, I I actually went through, I know both of us went through our journals and um it was really I was thinking maybe I would read a little entry talking about just some at least part of it that sort of emphasizes what we were talking about.
00:16:28.799 --> 00:16:33.840
So this was just from a few years ago, and I think it demonstrates this um idea.
00:16:34.000 --> 00:16:40.080
And so I was, I wrote, I had an aha last night that I have a limiting belief that's been holding me back.
00:16:40.320 --> 00:16:43.679
It's that I think I was lucky last year and that I can't do it again.
00:16:43.919 --> 00:16:50.559
So I'm writing to sort it out and get to the bottom of this because if I can do it once with God, we can do it again and again and again.
00:16:50.799 --> 00:16:54.559
And so the question I wrote was, why do I feel like I can't do it again?
00:16:54.799 --> 00:16:58.240
And I remember when I read this, I was like, ooh, it kind of like all came back to me.
00:16:58.320 --> 00:17:00.960
Like I remember going, oh no, I was just lucky, you know.
00:17:01.200 --> 00:17:06.000
And so I just wrote that and I immediately started writing the response.
00:17:06.079 --> 00:17:08.640
And I wrote, it just seems like I was lucky.
00:17:09.519 --> 00:17:16.960
And then in January, it didn't go as well, which in reinforced to me that it's already starting to be true.
00:17:17.599 --> 00:17:19.119
But do I really think it's true?
00:17:19.440 --> 00:17:22.640
No, I have faith and belief, and then why would that even come up?
00:17:22.960 --> 00:17:28.079
Because I'm scared I can't do it again, and now I've set the bar so high, what if I can't reach it?
00:17:28.319 --> 00:17:35.440
So it's fear, fear of failure, embarrassment, and every little situation not working has led me to believe it's already happening.
00:17:35.680 --> 00:17:38.880
And then I kind of went on and on to go from there.
00:17:39.039 --> 00:17:45.759
But like just reading that back is like, wow, like I don't even think at the time that's what I realized was happening.
00:17:45.839 --> 00:17:56.640
And so it really helped me be able to reflect on like, oh, okay, so if that's not true, like what how do I how do I start to turn that story around and believe something different?
00:17:56.960 --> 00:17:59.680
And obviously you've been lucky year after year after year now.
00:17:59.759 --> 00:18:15.039
So clearly wasn't true, but but I think what's even bigger, like as your friend listening to that, what strikes me about it is the story around luck really implies that you don't have maybe the talent that's sustainable.
00:18:15.119 --> 00:18:16.559
Like there's a belief system down there.
00:18:16.640 --> 00:18:29.119
I don't know everything I need to know, which is and I look at um it's funny when you're when you know somebody so well and you watch the things that play out in their head and you're their good friend that watches them work every single day, and you're like, how what?
00:18:29.359 --> 00:18:31.519
Like that doesn't even what are you talking about?
00:18:31.680 --> 00:18:46.240
But when I look at it, I think to say I'm lucky is to say is really to say, you know, this I don't have maybe all the my results aren't the res aren't assigned to my talent, my heart and I work watch you work your balls off, your bullocks off.
00:18:46.480 --> 00:18:57.119
And I I mean and you you really um I mean I think the isn't that the saying the harder the harder I work the luckier I get.
00:18:57.279 --> 00:18:57.920
Yep, yes.
00:18:58.079 --> 00:19:18.240
But I think it's uh luck is really also diminishing your core talent and who you are as a person to say, I'm not maybe not worthy of this and it's only gonna be a one-time strike, or what I possess inside isn't an like I is gonna the curtain's gonna be pulled back and people will be like, oh my gosh, she's just lucky.
00:19:18.480 --> 00:19:26.559
And I think that is what because you work so hard and you're very skilled at what you do, and I think luck would be the last thing I would ever think of.
00:19:26.640 --> 00:19:34.799
But it's funny, so interesting, and I think that's why having a good girlfriend to like even test that out with to be like, number one, I don't think you're that lucky.
00:19:34.880 --> 00:19:36.640
You run out of gas all the time.
00:19:36.880 --> 00:19:39.599
You're not like you're not finding four leaf clovers everywhere.
00:19:39.680 --> 00:19:43.039
So thanks to Lori and husband for always coming to my rescue.
00:19:43.359 --> 00:19:46.640
So I don't poor leaf clovers.
00:19:46.720 --> 00:19:47.359
I never have actually.
00:19:47.680 --> 00:19:49.279
No, you're not a rabbit's foot carrier.
00:19:49.440 --> 00:19:51.200
I think I'm luckier than you, honestly.
00:19:51.279 --> 00:19:56.319
If we had to go toe-to-toe, you work very hard and you care about people and love what you do.
00:19:56.480 --> 00:20:00.000
So I luck wouldn't even be anything that I or any of your friends would say.
00:20:00.240 --> 00:20:03.039
But how funny that that's what come came up.
00:20:03.119 --> 00:20:04.960
And it's so not even a real thing.
00:20:05.119 --> 00:20:05.599
Same thing.
00:20:05.839 --> 00:20:08.559
Well, and they what um what it's so important.
00:20:08.720 --> 00:20:11.519
Like, we haven't even talked about this until I shared that with you, you know.
00:20:11.680 --> 00:20:15.599
And it was so interesting to me that you brought up the self-worth piece.
00:20:15.759 --> 00:20:25.440
Because even though, because even though I reflected on that, I don't even think I got as far as what it really meant, which to your point is, and that what an mother effort that is.
00:20:25.599 --> 00:20:31.440
That that truly comes down to like my word, what maybe is my worthiness and how I valued myself.
00:20:31.599 --> 00:20:46.240
Um, so I think it emphasizes your point around making sure you have those good people like that love you so much that you can have these types of conversations, like having girlfriends that you can be like, holy crap, this is what I like, this is what came up, and be able to talk about it.
00:20:46.400 --> 00:20:48.559
Yes, and somebody who knows you and can.
00:20:48.720 --> 00:20:55.920
I think also you sometimes just don't even like you're somebody who has high self-worth.
00:20:56.079 --> 00:20:57.200
So as as a person.
00:20:57.279 --> 00:21:06.160
So I don't think people would ever look at you and say, you're not competent or capable, or and you I know you have high self-worth in yourself by how you what you choose and how you live your life.
00:21:06.319 --> 00:21:13.119
But I think there's there can be, you could have high self-worth and have places in your life where insecurity reigns queens.
00:21:13.519 --> 00:21:20.880
So just because you love yourself and you you think you're you're proud of yourself doesn't mean that there aren't places in your life where your self-worth is lower than others.
00:21:21.119 --> 00:21:39.680
Well, and sometimes with self-worth, it's you have it, but you're always feeling like you have to prove yourself, which is a gajillion percent my inner child, like me always feeling like I had to be that straight A student, the you know, the the disciplined one, the one that you think the performer.
00:21:39.839 --> 00:21:41.839
And so I do see that creep up a lot.
00:21:42.000 --> 00:21:44.720
So that's I think and we're both Leo's same birthday.
00:21:44.799 --> 00:21:45.680
So I think we're the same.
00:21:45.759 --> 00:21:47.759
We're like, yeah, please love me.
00:21:47.839 --> 00:21:50.160
I'm gonna ride my unicycle and juggle.
00:21:50.480 --> 00:21:56.160
And I think you you know, you as you mature, you hopefully can unwind some of those beliefs.
00:21:56.319 --> 00:22:12.160
But um, it's it's so strange in retrospect because I feel Like I've lived a lifetime in this second phase of my life, and I look back on that person sitting in the cubicle that couldn't even imagine having really, I mean, extra money in a savings account.
00:22:12.240 --> 00:22:19.279
You know, the circumstances I'm so grateful for because they were not pretty that brought me here really saved me.
00:22:19.359 --> 00:22:28.720
And but I think I couldn't have dreamt big, and I think a lot of us can't because your safety and your excuses and your subconscious behavior is keeping you stuck.
00:22:28.960 --> 00:22:31.920
Yeah, you're really tethered to your current reality.
00:22:32.160 --> 00:22:32.240
Yeah.
00:22:32.319 --> 00:22:46.240
And you say that I would always say things like, Oh, I'd love to go start my own business, but who's, you know, I've got a safe salary, who's gonna pay the bills and who's gonna, but I those were excuses made because I felt like I was somebody who was not gonna work hard enough to have success.
00:22:46.400 --> 00:22:56.960
And so unwinding the I wish I had unwound those beliefs and been proactive about really um assigning responsibility to myself for the circumstances I was in.
00:22:57.119 --> 00:22:59.200
But so often when you Good or bad, right?
00:22:59.279 --> 00:23:05.039
Because also, again, back to the luck, you can be like, oh, well, that was just me being lucky when it happened.
00:23:05.599 --> 00:23:06.799
I am lucky.
00:23:08.000 --> 00:23:09.680
I no, I'm really not at all.
00:23:09.839 --> 00:23:11.359
But I think that's right.
00:23:11.440 --> 00:23:15.200
And I think you you have to have the courage to look at where you're sitting today.
00:23:15.440 --> 00:23:22.720
And even if and I think sometimes it's like, well, nice for her to, you know, talk about having a designer purse.
00:23:22.880 --> 00:23:27.680
I have bills to pay and I have you are the reason that you're sitting in that spot.
00:23:27.839 --> 00:23:32.079
And if there is a disconnect and you feel that discontent, it means there's more for you.
00:23:32.240 --> 00:23:34.400
Not that you suck, not that you're stuck there.
00:23:34.480 --> 00:23:41.759
And I think we like we always talk about, we're not suggesting you hit the eject button and are like, I've looked at my limiting beliefs and I'm quitting my job.
00:23:42.000 --> 00:23:52.079
It's really about just taking those micro steps to be like, okay, I'm 40 years old and I'm pretty mediocre, you know, across the board.
00:23:52.319 --> 00:23:58.000
What, what is it about me and my life and my what I believe about myself that is keeping me here?
00:23:58.079 --> 00:24:07.519
And if you just look at them every once a week, or you really get honest with yourself and and begin to unwind and say, you know, can I question these things?
00:24:07.680 --> 00:24:08.319
Are they logical?
00:24:08.400 --> 00:24:09.519
Just don't prejudge them.
00:24:09.599 --> 00:24:15.759
Look at it as though it's your um like your best girlfriend and saying, okay, you know, am I lazy?
00:24:15.839 --> 00:24:16.400
Is that true?
00:24:16.559 --> 00:24:22.240
Yeah, like you can funnily look at it and say, would this be true if I was aligned to my passion?
00:24:22.400 --> 00:24:24.880
And just begin to take the micro steps.
00:24:24.960 --> 00:24:25.200
Yeah.
00:24:25.440 --> 00:24:32.720
Because this is not a find the courage on a Tuesday and resign on a Friday and your million-dollar business on Monday.
00:24:32.880 --> 00:24:37.519
It's truly slowly unwinding the circumstances and the belief systems that got you here.
00:24:37.759 --> 00:24:41.519
Regardless if they were your own, you are a victim of certain circumstances.
00:24:41.759 --> 00:24:49.519
Um that's what gets you to step two, which is now how can I get to a place where I can begin to think that there's more?
00:24:49.920 --> 00:24:51.440
And then you link those two together.
00:24:51.519 --> 00:24:56.160
Cause with the big one when you're stuck in a place that doesn't allow you to.
00:24:56.400 --> 00:24:57.119
Yeah, awesome.
00:24:57.200 --> 00:24:59.599
Well, this is a fun conversation for me.
00:24:59.680 --> 00:25:02.319
And I hope you all got a lot out of it.
00:25:02.559 --> 00:25:06.079
Um, so we I would love to hear, I know both of us would love to hear.
00:25:06.160 --> 00:25:14.960
If you are open to sharing, um, I think a good step for you to take um following this episode is to to do exactly what we've talked about.
00:25:15.119 --> 00:25:20.480
Come up with a question, um, ask yourself that question and just write what comes to mind.
00:25:20.720 --> 00:25:26.880
Um, and we'd love to hear what you you uncovered and start to peel that back, maybe you know, day after day.
00:25:27.039 --> 00:25:34.160
Um, and then we'll come back here and talk about the really fun part, which is how you can journal about the dreams and your vision in the future life.
00:25:34.240 --> 00:25:35.200
So I'm excited.
00:25:35.440 --> 00:25:35.680
Me too.
00:25:35.920 --> 00:25:37.039
Thank you, pups, for joining.
00:25:37.200 --> 00:25:40.079
Oh, now the ones, now little the teddy sleep on.
00:25:40.799 --> 00:25:42.000
Pretty tootie says, see you later.
