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Oh, so I know we talked a lot about, you know,
the things that are important in leadership.
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So I wanna leave you with this one last thing.
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So employees, your good employees.
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Okay?
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They're gonna be loyal to your principles, and
they're not gonna be loyal to your preferences.
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So if you need to have that man and ma'am
moment in the mirror, definitely start with
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that.
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Welcome to Inspired Choice Today.
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I'm your host, Caroline Biesalski, here to
bring you authentic stories, surprising
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lessons, and powerful takeaways to fuel your
journey in business and life.
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In each episode, I'll take you from one
inspiring guest to the next, blending their
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experiences with my expertise to uncover
practical strategies you can use right away.
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Whether you're starting out or stepping up,
stay tuned for insights and actionable tips
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that make a difference.
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And stick around until the end for a special
freebie just for our listeners.
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Hello, and welcome inspired podcast community.
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This is your new episode.
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My name is Caroline, and my today's guest is
Brenda Neckvatal, and I'm so happy that she
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said yes to our interview.
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How are you doing today?
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I'm wonderful, Caroline.
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Thank you so much for having me on.
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So great to see you today, and I would like to
introduce you to the audience, of course.
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You are a leadership expert.
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You help overwhelmed leaders transform
struggling teams into high-performing
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powerhouses by navigating workplace drama and
difficult personalities.
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Drawing from personal experience, you offer
practical strategies for resilient, effective
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leadership.
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Welcome to the inspired podcast.
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Wow, Brenda Neckvatal.
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Well, thank you very much.
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I'm inspired already.
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My first question for you is yes.
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What was the turning point that shifted your
leadership approach from struggling to
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thriving?
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Oh, that's easy.
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It's an easy answer that really involved a hard
path.
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I was introduced to my very first
high-performing team, like, super
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high-performing team when I was 30 years old.
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I had been on unsuccessful teams, but what made
this team different than any other team I was
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part of in the past is that all of the leaders,
all the way up to the location general manager
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down to his first assistant and all the other
managers that worked under him, held to a
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certain standard.
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I mean, they all had their unique, you know,
personalities.
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They all had their quirks.
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They all had, you know, what made them them.
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But when I started working with them, I saw
them operating and activating in a completely
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different way than I had ever seen.
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I listened to what they said.
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I paid attention to how they talked to people.
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When they would all get together and read the
same book and then talk about the lessons that
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they learned from the book, when I would see
them carrying a book, I would run out and I
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would go get it for myself.
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Right?
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So imitation is, you know, the best form of
flattery.
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Right?
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So that's what I started doing.
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I started emulating what they were doing, and I
started practicing what I saw them doing.
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Like, I could figure out, well, you know, when
you have somebody that is at this temperature,
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right, then there's a way of handling that.
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And if you have somebody that's at this
temperature, there's a way of handling that.
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And what about holding people accountable?
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Like, I started listening to how they were
doing it.
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Not so much the words that they were saying,
but their approach.
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They weren't standing in a place of low
confidence doing it.
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They were all in a position of confidence
because they had principles that they were
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operating from.
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And so once I figured out what those were, the
world just opened up.
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What a great answer.
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Thank you so much.
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I said I'm inspired already in the beginning.
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Now even more, of course, you talked about
principles, and this is so important, and also
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about emulating the people, like leading
examples or the people you work with.
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I love that so much.
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Okay.
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My next question for you is how can leaders
effectively handle difficult personalities
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without causing team friction?
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Well, first off, you have to accept the fact
that you can't ever hide from friction.
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It's going to be now if you're looking at it
from the perception of, like, okay.
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We got friction and we have conflict right now.
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How am I gonna prevent making it worse?
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I think that is a better approach to take
because you can't avoid friction.
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You can't start a fire without striking a
match.
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Right?
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You just you just can't.
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So friction has to be present.
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The question is, how good are you at utilizing
friction to keep success happening?
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Right?
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That's it.
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And there's no one formula for that, but
there's three things that you can do.
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Okay?
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And they're extremely important.
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The first thing is that we need to get better.
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We need to listen more and talk less.
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So if you want to prevent friction from
increasing, listen more and talk less, and
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listen to what people are saying.
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Listen to how they are saying they're handling
something.
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Listen, because they're gonna tell you.
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They're gonna tell you their opinions.
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They're gonna tell you who they think is up to
doing what.
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They're gonna tell you exactly what you ask
them.
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So that leads to the second thing, which is
that you have to ask good questions in order to
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get good answers.
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Right?
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So one of the best questions that a leader can
ask when all of a sudden you're dealing with
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friction is help me understand.
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Help me understand how did we get here.
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Help me understand who's involved.
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Help me understand why this is happening.
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Help me understand what's missing from this
formula.
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Help me understand what people haven't said
just yet that we're not listening to.
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Right?
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There are so many different ways to utilize
help me understand, and what it does is it
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actually cuts away the ego.
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That's what's important.
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Because navigating the ego is going to—if you
do it well, you're going to have the right
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friction in place.
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If you don't do it well, you're going to throw
gasoline on fire, and it's not really what you
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wanna do.
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And then finally, the third thing is that the
power of your leadership will always lie in
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your follow-up.
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So many leaders have a conversation in their
head that they don't have time for follow-up.
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It's a time suck from everything else that
they're doing.
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Well, if having a high-performing team is
important to you, that is a crucible in being
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able to make an asset or create an asset that
really it's hard to defeat.
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Right?
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So those are kind of the three things that I
always advise people.
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And knowing it and practicing it are two
totally different things.
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Yes.
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That's so true.
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Thank you so much.
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And while you were talking in the beginning, I
thought about I heard someone saying, God gave
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you two ears and one mouth.
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So about the listening part, you know, that
listening is more important than talking or
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also when you mention the leader asking the
people, help me understand or something that
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reduces or I mean, that sets back the ego and
says I'll deal with you later.
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Of course.
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Help me understand this is the task of a
leader.
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And then you talked about following up.
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This is so important.
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No one does this or, I mean, the majority of
the people are not doing it correctly.
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Yes.
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And I think the power lies in the
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I think a lot of leaders will follow-up with
things that are not going well, but there's a
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pretty substantial number of leaders that don't
follow-up when things are going great.
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And so that's the missing element.
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Or some people just expect, you know, they
correct, they put somebody on a course of
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direction, a correction course, and they
anticipate that person doing it.
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Like, everybody should.
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They should absolutely expect it.
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But if they don't follow up and you have
somebody that has a low set of core values, you
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know, look, water is always gonna find the path
of least resistance and sometimes so do people.
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Right?
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So by not doing it because they know that
somebody doesn't follow up, that's how this
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perpetual problem stays in motion.
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Yes.
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And you said knowing it doesn't help you.
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You have to apply it.
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Of course, we have this knowing-doing gap.
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I heard about this once.
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One of my mentors was talking about that.
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How about your coaches and mentors?
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Do you have coaches for yourself, and who is
the best coach you ever had?
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So I have had I've been investing in myself now
for a long time.
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And so I have several coaches, and I have even
I still have mentors to this day.
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Even though, you know, I'm at a level of
proficiency, there's still room for knowledge.
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Right?
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So, one of my so I have active and inactive.
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So one of my favorite mentors of all time was
that location general manager.
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I still talk to him to this day, going back,
you know, when I was 30.
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So that was a long time ago.
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And I have three mentors now that I'm working
under for three very different things that I
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absolutely adore.
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So I have a lot of them.
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So they all do they all do different things.
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Yeah.
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It's so important.
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A mentor saves you time.
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When you said it was when you were 30, so it
was two years ago.
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Right?
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Yeah.
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We'll leave it at that.
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Yeah.
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So great.
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I have another question, of course.
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Let's see.
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What practical steps can leaders take to
transform workplace drama into team alignment
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and engagement?
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Well, we could spend about seven hours on this
question.
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So the first thing is I think you have to take
a step back and ask yourself, do I have the
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right people in position?
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I think that's a big thing because you can
preach and practice your core values.
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You can work hard to build trust.
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But the thing is that if you don't have the
people that are capable of doing that or
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willing to leave behind what they think and
take that risk and shift their thinking moving
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forward, I think you're gonna struggle.
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Right?
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So that comes down to core values.
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And core values really are and this comes from
one of my favorite mentors actually.
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Core values are the evidence that which we say
truly matters as a foundation for action that
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really aligns with our beliefs.
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Right?
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So the proof of what we value isn't in our
preferences, it's in actually what we do.
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And so when we're not operating based off of
core values, we're only operating off of our
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preferences, and our preferences don't hold
weight.
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But our principles do because it's a place that
we can act from.
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So if we're always acting from our preferences,
then we're not really acting from a position of
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value.
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We're only acting from a position that is
subjective.
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Thank you so much for your answer and your
patience as well.
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Of course, I have another question for you.
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It is about where can we find you when people
want to reach out to you after listening to
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this episode.
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Yes.
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Absolutely.
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So I actually, I'm on all of the social media
channels as my name, Brenda.
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But I have a gift for your listeners.
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Yeah.
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So if you wanna get inspired and then take
action because, you know, that's what you need
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in order to make inspiration to really bloom, I
have a free course that they can take.
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It's called Impact Scripts, and I've only given
you one of them.
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And these are three scripts that I've used,
three phrases that I've used for over 20 years
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that have helped me deal with difficult people,
that have helped me, like, really enrich
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communication.
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And I'm very committed to a very strong
communication, meaning that I'm responsible for
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mine and I take it very seriously.
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It's one of my core values.
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And if you go to my website at heybrenda.com,
h-e-y, Brenda dot com, then when the first
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thing you'll see is, a little spot where you
put in it's like, what's the one thing that
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wowed you in the show?
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And then you put in your name, you put in your
email address, and it's gonna give you access
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to this course.
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And in this course, those three sentences, now
I already used help me understand.
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Okay?
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There's a couple more and maybe a bonus that
you can go ahead and take and actually utilize,
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and you can use this at any point in time.
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And it is my free gift to you, and I promise
you, it is going to help you cut through a lot
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of drama if you're experiencing drama.
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00:14:08,500 --> 00:14:12,519
And it's also gonna help you be extremely
effective if you're looking to be effective.
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Well, thank you so much for sharing.
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00:14:16,675 --> 00:14:17,795
This is so generous.
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00:14:17,795 --> 00:14:20,375
Of course, I put the links in the show notes.
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Thank you so much.
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00:14:21,554 --> 00:14:23,175
Please reach out to Brenda.
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00:14:23,394 --> 00:14:24,274
She's amazing.
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00:14:24,274 --> 00:14:29,879
She shares her knowledge and wisdom with us and
inspires us to take action.
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My last question for you is, do you set goals
for yourself or intentions, and what is one of
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00:14:37,620 --> 00:14:38,839
your next projects?
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So I always have a ton of projects going on.
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I do set my goals.
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I look at not only do I set my goals, but I
live within them every month.
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00:14:52,034 --> 00:14:55,920
So I take a look back at what my goals are,
what are the objectives?
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00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:59,779
In other words, what are the things that I need
to do in order to make that goal come to life?
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00:15:00,559 --> 00:15:04,879
And I take a look at that every month,
sometimes every week, kinda depending on what
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00:15:04,879 --> 00:15:07,920
I'm working on, but I keep it relatively high
level.
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00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:10,215
And then I have them set for the year as well.
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00:15:10,215 --> 00:15:15,754
So I break it down into year, quarter, month,
and week.
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00:15:16,375 --> 00:15:19,035
And, of course, then everything else is a to-do
list.
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00:15:19,575 --> 00:15:20,695
So yeah.
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00:15:20,695 --> 00:15:21,335
So I do.
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00:15:21,335 --> 00:15:27,850
And projects that are coming up, I'm actually
helping a friend of mine drop his new book,
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00:15:28,309 --> 00:15:31,909
which is called Ethos of a Leader, and it is
written by a U.S.
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00:15:31,909 --> 00:15:35,110
Navy SEAL, and that should be coming out
sometime in March.
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00:15:35,110 --> 00:15:40,245
So I've written nine books, and you can find
mine at Mission Ready.
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00:15:40,245 --> 00:15:43,225
I have Two Wolves, and you can easily find my
books on Amazon.
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I love it.
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00:15:45,924 --> 00:15:49,384
Thank you so much for sharing and also for our
interview.
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I'm inspired now still.
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And now it's time for your final thoughts to
the audience, please.
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Oh, so I know we talked a lot about, you know,
the things that are important in leadership.
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So I wanna leave you with this one last thing.
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So employees, your good employees.
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Okay?
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They're gonna be loyal to your principles, and
they're not gonna be loyal to your preferences.
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00:16:13,254 --> 00:16:18,774
So if you need to have that man and ma'am
moment in the mirror, definitely start with
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00:16:18,774 --> 00:16:19,274
that.
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00:16:25,019 --> 00:16:27,519
Thank you so much for our interview.
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00:16:27,899 --> 00:16:31,759
Yes, it was a great conversation.
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00:16:32,059 --> 00:16:34,000
I learned so much about leadership.
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Please reach out to Brenda.
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Yes, I put the links in the show notes, of
course.
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Thank you.
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Thank you.
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And I'll see you in the next episode.
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00:16:46,434 --> 00:16:51,970
Thank you for listening to "Inspired Choice
Today." I'm thrilled to have you on this
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00:16:51,970 --> 00:16:53,830
journey of growth and transformation.
287
00:16:54,529 --> 00:16:59,750
Don't forget to hit follow or subscribe to stay
connected and never miss an episode.
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00:17:00,210 --> 00:17:01,750
And here's something special.
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00:17:02,174 --> 00:17:05,954
Grab your free 20-minute breakthrough session
with me.
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00:17:06,095 --> 00:17:09,714
It's designed to help you kick-start or level
up your business.
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00:17:09,934 --> 00:17:12,335
Just check out the show notes for more.
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00:17:12,335 --> 00:17:15,862
Until next time, keep making those inspired
choices.
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00:17:16,403 --> 00:17:18,583
See you in the next episode.
00:00:00,399 --> 00:00:06,000
Oh, so I know we talked a lot about, you know,
the things that are important in leadership.
2
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:08,080
So I wanna leave you with this one last thing.
3
00:00:08,080 --> 00:00:10,500
So employees, your good employees.
4
00:00:10,639 --> 00:00:11,119
Okay?
5
00:00:11,119 --> 00:00:14,980
They're gonna be loyal to your principles, and
they're not gonna be loyal to your preferences.
6
00:00:15,775 --> 00:00:21,295
So if you need to have that man and ma'am
moment in the mirror, definitely start with
7
00:00:21,295 --> 00:00:21,795
that.
8
00:00:22,254 --> 00:00:24,434
Welcome to Inspired Choice Today.
9
00:00:24,494 --> 00:00:29,474
I'm your host, Caroline Biesalski, here to
bring you authentic stories, surprising
10
00:00:29,535 --> 00:00:35,090
lessons, and powerful takeaways to fuel your
journey in business and life.
11
00:00:35,229 --> 00:00:40,590
In each episode, I'll take you from one
inspiring guest to the next, blending their
12
00:00:40,590 --> 00:00:47,064
experiences with my expertise to uncover
practical strategies you can use right away.
13
00:00:47,125 --> 00:00:52,725
Whether you're starting out or stepping up,
stay tuned for insights and actionable tips
14
00:00:52,725 --> 00:00:53,864
that make a difference.
15
00:00:54,004 --> 00:00:59,304
And stick around until the end for a special
freebie just for our listeners.
16
00:01:01,780 --> 00:01:05,159
Hello, and welcome inspired podcast community.
17
00:01:05,299 --> 00:01:06,680
This is your new episode.
18
00:01:06,979 --> 00:01:13,140
My name is Caroline, and my today's guest is
Brenda Neckvatal, and I'm so happy that she
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00:01:13,140 --> 00:01:14,840
said yes to our interview.
20
00:01:15,125 --> 00:01:16,744
How are you doing today?
21
00:01:17,604 --> 00:01:18,884
I'm wonderful, Caroline.
22
00:01:18,884 --> 00:01:20,825
Thank you so much for having me on.
23
00:01:21,604 --> 00:01:27,224
So great to see you today, and I would like to
introduce you to the audience, of course.
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00:01:27,930 --> 00:01:30,510
You are a leadership expert.
25
00:01:30,730 --> 00:01:35,850
You help overwhelmed leaders transform
struggling teams into high-performing
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00:01:35,850 --> 00:01:40,670
powerhouses by navigating workplace drama and
difficult personalities.
27
00:01:41,655 --> 00:01:47,515
Drawing from personal experience, you offer
practical strategies for resilient, effective
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00:01:47,814 --> 00:01:48,314
leadership.
29
00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:50,954
Welcome to the inspired podcast.
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00:01:51,255 --> 00:01:53,594
Wow, Brenda Neckvatal.
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00:01:54,135 --> 00:01:55,515
Well, thank you very much.
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00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:58,020
I'm inspired already.
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00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:00,840
My first question for you is yes.
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00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:06,320
What was the turning point that shifted your
leadership approach from struggling to
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00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:06,820
thriving?
36
00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:09,139
Oh, that's easy.
37
00:02:10,705 --> 00:02:15,604
It's an easy answer that really involved a hard
path.
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00:02:16,784 --> 00:02:24,224
I was introduced to my very first
high-performing team, like, super
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00:02:24,224 --> 00:02:27,659
high-performing team when I was 30 years old.
40
00:02:28,599 --> 00:02:37,879
I had been on unsuccessful teams, but what made
this team different than any other team I was
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00:02:37,879 --> 00:02:43,585
part of in the past is that all of the leaders,
all the way up to the location general manager
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00:02:43,724 --> 00:02:50,284
down to his first assistant and all the other
managers that worked under him, held to a
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00:02:50,284 --> 00:02:51,185
certain standard.
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00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:58,990
I mean, they all had their unique, you know,
personalities.
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00:02:59,370 --> 00:03:00,810
They all had their quirks.
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00:03:00,810 --> 00:03:03,790
They all had, you know, what made them them.
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00:03:04,730 --> 00:03:13,764
But when I started working with them, I saw
them operating and activating in a completely
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00:03:13,905 --> 00:03:15,924
different way than I had ever seen.
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I listened to what they said.
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00:03:18,544 --> 00:03:21,125
I paid attention to how they talked to people.
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00:03:21,930 --> 00:03:26,489
When they would all get together and read the
same book and then talk about the lessons that
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00:03:26,489 --> 00:03:30,330
they learned from the book, when I would see
them carrying a book, I would run out and I
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00:03:30,330 --> 00:03:31,689
would go get it for myself.
54
00:03:31,689 --> 00:03:32,189
Right?
55
00:03:32,330 --> 00:03:36,344
So imitation is, you know, the best form of
flattery.
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Right?
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So that's what I started doing.
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I started emulating what they were doing, and I
started practicing what I saw them doing.
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Like, I could figure out, well, you know, when
you have somebody that is at this temperature,
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right, then there's a way of handling that.
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And if you have somebody that's at this
temperature, there's a way of handling that.
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And what about holding people accountable?
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Like, I started listening to how they were
doing it.
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Not so much the words that they were saying,
but their approach.
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00:04:06,155 --> 00:04:09,995
They weren't standing in a place of low
confidence doing it.
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00:04:09,995 --> 00:04:15,830
They were all in a position of confidence
because they had principles that they were
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operating from.
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00:04:17,269 --> 00:04:22,649
And so once I figured out what those were, the
world just opened up.
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What a great answer.
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Thank you so much.
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00:04:28,004 --> 00:04:30,965
I said I'm inspired already in the beginning.
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00:04:30,965 --> 00:04:35,925
Now even more, of course, you talked about
principles, and this is so important, and also
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00:04:35,925 --> 00:04:41,925
about emulating the people, like leading
examples or the people you work with.
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I love that so much.
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Okay.
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00:04:43,509 --> 00:04:49,209
My next question for you is how can leaders
effectively handle difficult personalities
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without causing team friction?
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00:04:53,189 --> 00:04:59,585
Well, first off, you have to accept the fact
that you can't ever hide from friction.
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00:05:00,365 --> 00:05:04,605
It's going to be now if you're looking at it
from the perception of, like, okay.
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00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:07,085
We got friction and we have conflict right now.
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00:05:07,085 --> 00:05:09,345
How am I gonna prevent making it worse?
82
00:05:09,790 --> 00:05:14,290
I think that is a better approach to take
because you can't avoid friction.
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00:05:14,750 --> 00:05:17,970
You can't start a fire without striking a
match.
84
00:05:18,270 --> 00:05:18,750
Right?
85
00:05:18,750 --> 00:05:20,129
You just you just can't.
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00:05:20,189 --> 00:05:22,290
So friction has to be present.
87
00:05:22,670 --> 00:05:30,675
The question is, how good are you at utilizing
friction to keep success happening?
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00:05:30,895 --> 00:05:31,395
Right?
89
00:05:31,694 --> 00:05:32,175
That's it.
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00:05:32,175 --> 00:05:38,754
And there's no one formula for that, but
there's three things that you can do.
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00:05:39,199 --> 00:05:39,360
Okay?
92
00:05:39,759 --> 00:05:41,379
And they're extremely important.
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00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:44,000
The first thing is that we need to get better.
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00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:45,779
We need to listen more and talk less.
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00:05:46,879 --> 00:05:52,975
So if you want to prevent friction from
increasing, listen more and talk less, and
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00:05:52,975 --> 00:05:54,574
listen to what people are saying.
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00:05:54,574 --> 00:05:58,274
Listen to how they are saying they're handling
something.
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00:05:58,574 --> 00:06:01,154
Listen, because they're gonna tell you.
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00:06:01,295 --> 00:06:02,574
They're gonna tell you their opinions.
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00:06:02,574 --> 00:06:05,040
They're gonna tell you who they think is up to
doing what.
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00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:08,080
They're gonna tell you exactly what you ask
them.
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00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:12,080
So that leads to the second thing, which is
that you have to ask good questions in order to
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00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,060
get good answers.
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00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:13,920
Right?
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00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:18,235
So one of the best questions that a leader can
ask when all of a sudden you're dealing with
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00:06:18,235 --> 00:06:20,654
friction is help me understand.
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00:06:21,354 --> 00:06:22,954
Help me understand how did we get here.
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00:06:22,954 --> 00:06:24,875
Help me understand who's involved.
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00:06:24,875 --> 00:06:26,875
Help me understand why this is happening.
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00:06:26,875 --> 00:06:29,354
Help me understand what's missing from this
formula.
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00:06:29,354 --> 00:06:33,980
Help me understand what people haven't said
just yet that we're not listening to.
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00:06:33,980 --> 00:06:34,460
Right?
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00:06:34,460 --> 00:06:39,259
There are so many different ways to utilize
help me understand, and what it does is it
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00:06:39,259 --> 00:06:41,759
actually cuts away the ego.
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00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:44,800
That's what's important.
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00:06:45,375 --> 00:06:52,735
Because navigating the ego is going to—if you
do it well, you're going to have the right
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00:06:52,735 --> 00:06:53,775
friction in place.
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00:06:53,775 --> 00:07:00,589
If you don't do it well, you're going to throw
gasoline on fire, and it's not really what you
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00:07:00,589 --> 00:07:01,329
wanna do.
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00:07:01,629 --> 00:07:07,870
And then finally, the third thing is that the
power of your leadership will always lie in
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00:07:07,870 --> 00:07:08,610
your follow-up.
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00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:16,025
So many leaders have a conversation in their
head that they don't have time for follow-up.
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00:07:16,564 --> 00:07:19,125
It's a time suck from everything else that
they're doing.
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00:07:19,125 --> 00:07:28,259
Well, if having a high-performing team is
important to you, that is a crucible in being
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00:07:28,259 --> 00:07:34,039
able to make an asset or create an asset that
really it's hard to defeat.
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00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:34,979
Right?
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00:07:34,979 --> 00:07:39,079
So those are kind of the three things that I
always advise people.
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00:07:39,615 --> 00:07:43,634
And knowing it and practicing it are two
totally different things.
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00:07:45,134 --> 00:07:45,535
Yes.
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00:07:45,535 --> 00:07:46,574
That's so true.
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00:07:46,574 --> 00:07:47,795
Thank you so much.
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00:07:47,935 --> 00:07:53,694
And while you were talking in the beginning, I
thought about I heard someone saying, God gave
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00:07:54,095 --> 00:07:56,560
you two ears and one mouth.
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00:07:56,560 --> 00:08:01,600
So about the listening part, you know, that
listening is more important than talking or
135
00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:09,134
also when you mention the leader asking the
people, help me understand or something that
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00:08:09,455 --> 00:08:15,875
reduces or I mean, that sets back the ego and
says I'll deal with you later.
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00:08:16,175 --> 00:08:16,835
Of course.
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00:08:16,895 --> 00:08:19,535
Help me understand this is the task of a
leader.
139
00:08:19,535 --> 00:08:22,275
And then you talked about following up.
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00:08:22,430 --> 00:08:23,569
This is so important.
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00:08:23,709 --> 00:08:29,810
No one does this or, I mean, the majority of
the people are not doing it correctly.
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00:08:29,870 --> 00:08:30,270
Yes.
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00:08:30,270 --> 00:08:34,910
And I think the power lies in the
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00:08:36,355 --> 00:08:43,315
I think a lot of leaders will follow-up with
things that are not going well, but there's a
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00:08:43,715 --> 00:08:47,735
pretty substantial number of leaders that don't
follow-up when things are going great.
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00:08:48,410 --> 00:08:51,050
And so that's the missing element.
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00:08:51,370 --> 00:08:55,850
Or some people just expect, you know, they
correct, they put somebody on a course of
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00:08:55,850 --> 00:09:01,690
direction, a correction course, and they
anticipate that person doing it.
149
00:09:01,690 --> 00:09:02,570
Like, everybody should.
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00:09:02,570 --> 00:09:04,004
They should absolutely expect it.
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00:09:04,245 --> 00:09:10,565
But if they don't follow up and you have
somebody that has a low set of core values, you
152
00:09:10,565 --> 00:09:15,705
know, look, water is always gonna find the path
of least resistance and sometimes so do people.
153
00:09:16,100 --> 00:09:16,420
Right?
154
00:09:16,420 --> 00:09:22,019
So by not doing it because they know that
somebody doesn't follow up, that's how this
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00:09:22,019 --> 00:09:24,360
perpetual problem stays in motion.
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00:09:25,860 --> 00:09:26,259
Yes.
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00:09:26,259 --> 00:09:29,924
And you said knowing it doesn't help you.
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00:09:29,924 --> 00:09:31,125
You have to apply it.
159
00:09:31,125 --> 00:09:33,605
Of course, we have this knowing-doing gap.
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00:09:33,605 --> 00:09:35,304
I heard about this once.
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00:09:36,245 --> 00:09:39,125
One of my mentors was talking about that.
162
00:09:39,125 --> 00:09:41,284
How about your coaches and mentors?
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00:09:41,284 --> 00:09:46,200
Do you have coaches for yourself, and who is
the best coach you ever had?
164
00:09:47,299 --> 00:09:52,899
So I have had I've been investing in myself now
for a long time.
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00:09:52,899 --> 00:09:58,014
And so I have several coaches, and I have even
I still have mentors to this day.
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00:09:58,014 --> 00:10:02,975
Even though, you know, I'm at a level of
proficiency, there's still room for knowledge.
167
00:10:02,975 --> 00:10:03,475
Right?
168
00:10:04,174 --> 00:10:11,600
So, one of my so I have active and inactive.
169
00:10:11,659 --> 00:10:16,299
So one of my favorite mentors of all time was
that location general manager.
170
00:10:16,299 --> 00:10:21,899
I still talk to him to this day, going back,
you know, when I was 30.
171
00:10:21,899 --> 00:10:23,360
So that was a long time ago.
172
00:10:23,740 --> 00:10:35,095
And I have three mentors now that I'm working
under for three very different things that I
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00:10:35,095 --> 00:10:35,975
absolutely adore.
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00:10:35,975 --> 00:10:38,074
So I have a lot of them.
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00:10:39,095 --> 00:10:43,120
So they all do they all do different things.
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00:10:44,059 --> 00:10:44,379
Yeah.
177
00:10:44,379 --> 00:10:45,279
It's so important.
178
00:10:45,340 --> 00:10:46,860
A mentor saves you time.
179
00:10:46,860 --> 00:10:51,419
When you said it was when you were 30, so it
was two years ago.
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00:10:51,419 --> 00:10:51,919
Right?
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00:10:52,940 --> 00:10:53,179
Yeah.
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00:10:53,179 --> 00:10:54,320
We'll leave it at that.
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Yeah.
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So great.
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I have another question, of course.
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Let's see.
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What practical steps can leaders take to
transform workplace drama into team alignment
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and engagement?
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Well, we could spend about seven hours on this
question.
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So the first thing is I think you have to take
a step back and ask yourself, do I have the
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right people in position?
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I think that's a big thing because you can
preach and practice your core values.
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You can work hard to build trust.
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But the thing is that if you don't have the
people that are capable of doing that or
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willing to leave behind what they think and
take that risk and shift their thinking moving
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forward, I think you're gonna struggle.
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Right?
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So that comes down to core values.
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And core values really are and this comes from
one of my favorite mentors actually.
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Core values are the evidence that which we say
truly matters as a foundation for action that
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really aligns with our beliefs.
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Right?
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So the proof of what we value isn't in our
preferences, it's in actually what we do.
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And so when we're not operating based off of
core values, we're only operating off of our
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preferences, and our preferences don't hold
weight.
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But our principles do because it's a place that
we can act from.
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So if we're always acting from our preferences,
then we're not really acting from a position of
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value.
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We're only acting from a position that is
subjective.
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Thank you so much for your answer and your
patience as well.
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Of course, I have another question for you.
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It is about where can we find you when people
want to reach out to you after listening to
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this episode.
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Yes.
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00:12:45,495 --> 00:12:45,995
Absolutely.
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So I actually, I'm on all of the social media
channels as my name, Brenda.
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But I have a gift for your listeners.
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Yeah.
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00:12:54,934 --> 00:13:00,070
So if you wanna get inspired and then take
action because, you know, that's what you need
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00:13:00,070 --> 00:13:07,110
in order to make inspiration to really bloom, I
have a free course that they can take.
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It's called Impact Scripts, and I've only given
you one of them.
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And these are three scripts that I've used,
three phrases that I've used for over 20 years
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that have helped me deal with difficult people,
that have helped me, like, really enrich
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communication.
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And I'm very committed to a very strong
communication, meaning that I'm responsible for
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mine and I take it very seriously.
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It's one of my core values.
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And if you go to my website at heybrenda.com,
h-e-y, Brenda dot com, then when the first
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thing you'll see is, a little spot where you
put in it's like, what's the one thing that
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00:13:44,335 --> 00:13:45,215
wowed you in the show?
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00:13:45,215 --> 00:13:48,654
And then you put in your name, you put in your
email address, and it's gonna give you access
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to this course.
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00:13:49,535 --> 00:13:53,154
And in this course, those three sentences, now
I already used help me understand.
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Okay?
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There's a couple more and maybe a bonus that
you can go ahead and take and actually utilize,
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00:14:00,259 --> 00:14:02,420
and you can use this at any point in time.
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00:14:02,420 --> 00:14:06,500
And it is my free gift to you, and I promise
you, it is going to help you cut through a lot
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00:14:06,500 --> 00:14:08,500
of drama if you're experiencing drama.
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00:14:08,500 --> 00:14:12,519
And it's also gonna help you be extremely
effective if you're looking to be effective.
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Well, thank you so much for sharing.
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00:14:16,675 --> 00:14:17,795
This is so generous.
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00:14:17,795 --> 00:14:20,375
Of course, I put the links in the show notes.
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Thank you so much.
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00:14:21,554 --> 00:14:23,175
Please reach out to Brenda.
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00:14:23,394 --> 00:14:24,274
She's amazing.
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00:14:24,274 --> 00:14:29,879
She shares her knowledge and wisdom with us and
inspires us to take action.
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00:14:30,100 --> 00:14:37,620
My last question for you is, do you set goals
for yourself or intentions, and what is one of
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00:14:37,620 --> 00:14:38,839
your next projects?
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So I always have a ton of projects going on.
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00:14:44,434 --> 00:14:46,375
I do set my goals.
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I look at not only do I set my goals, but I
live within them every month.
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So I take a look back at what my goals are,
what are the objectives?
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In other words, what are the things that I need
to do in order to make that goal come to life?
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00:15:00,559 --> 00:15:04,879
And I take a look at that every month,
sometimes every week, kinda depending on what
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00:15:04,879 --> 00:15:07,920
I'm working on, but I keep it relatively high
level.
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00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:10,215
And then I have them set for the year as well.
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00:15:10,215 --> 00:15:15,754
So I break it down into year, quarter, month,
and week.
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00:15:16,375 --> 00:15:19,035
And, of course, then everything else is a to-do
list.
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00:15:19,575 --> 00:15:20,695
So yeah.
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00:15:20,695 --> 00:15:21,335
So I do.
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00:15:21,335 --> 00:15:27,850
And projects that are coming up, I'm actually
helping a friend of mine drop his new book,
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00:15:28,309 --> 00:15:31,909
which is called Ethos of a Leader, and it is
written by a U.S.
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00:15:31,909 --> 00:15:35,110
Navy SEAL, and that should be coming out
sometime in March.
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00:15:35,110 --> 00:15:40,245
So I've written nine books, and you can find
mine at Mission Ready.
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00:15:40,245 --> 00:15:43,225
I have Two Wolves, and you can easily find my
books on Amazon.
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00:15:44,884 --> 00:15:45,865
I love it.
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00:15:45,924 --> 00:15:49,384
Thank you so much for sharing and also for our
interview.
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00:15:49,524 --> 00:15:51,589
I'm inspired now still.
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00:15:52,529 --> 00:15:56,950
And now it's time for your final thoughts to
the audience, please.
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Oh, so I know we talked a lot about, you know,
the things that are important in leadership.
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So I wanna leave you with this one last thing.
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So employees, your good employees.
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00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:08,615
Okay?
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00:16:08,615 --> 00:16:12,554
They're gonna be loyal to your principles, and
they're not gonna be loyal to your preferences.
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00:16:13,254 --> 00:16:18,774
So if you need to have that man and ma'am
moment in the mirror, definitely start with
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00:16:18,774 --> 00:16:19,274
that.
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00:16:25,019 --> 00:16:27,519
Thank you so much for our interview.
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00:16:27,899 --> 00:16:31,759
Yes, it was a great conversation.
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00:16:32,059 --> 00:16:34,000
I learned so much about leadership.
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00:16:34,674 --> 00:16:36,215
Please reach out to Brenda.
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00:16:36,274 --> 00:16:39,014
Yes, I put the links in the show notes, of
course.
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Thank you.
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Thank you.
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And I'll see you in the next episode.
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Thank you for listening to "Inspired Choice
Today." I'm thrilled to have you on this
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00:16:51,970 --> 00:16:53,830
journey of growth and transformation.
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00:16:54,529 --> 00:16:59,750
Don't forget to hit follow or subscribe to stay
connected and never miss an episode.
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00:17:00,210 --> 00:17:01,750
And here's something special.
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00:17:02,174 --> 00:17:05,954
Grab your free 20-minute breakthrough session
with me.
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00:17:06,095 --> 00:17:09,714
It's designed to help you kick-start or level
up your business.
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00:17:09,934 --> 00:17:12,335
Just check out the show notes for more.
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00:17:12,335 --> 00:17:15,862
Until next time, keep making those inspired
choices.
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See you in the next episode.
