WEBVTT
00:00:02.720 --> 00:00:05.839
You're doing everything you've been told to do regarding your hormones.
00:00:05.919 --> 00:00:15.359
You're doing the HRT, you're doing the supplements, you've got the protocol built all around your cycle, and things still aren't falling into place.
00:00:15.919 --> 00:00:19.120
This episode is about the why.
00:00:20.800 --> 00:00:38.719
You see, having been in this game a long time, having worked in gynecology, maternity, endocrinology, rheumatology, and many other specialties in the top London hospital in the UK, I realized something very much.
00:00:38.799 --> 00:00:52.159
And when consultants used to send me their patients to help them lose weight, despite everything else being tipped up medically okay, here's what I realized.
00:00:53.280 --> 00:01:03.600
You see, hormones are massively important, they are the chemical messages that tell organs what to do, essentially.
00:01:03.679 --> 00:01:04.319
That's what they do.
00:01:04.400 --> 00:01:08.560
They tell your body what to do at specific times for specific reasons.
00:01:09.680 --> 00:01:32.719
And when it comes to perimenopause and menopause, they have a big impact on things like appetite uh regulation, sleep disruption, um, how sensitive you might be to cortisol, which might then impact your appetite, insulin resistance, mood, motivation, how exercise affects your body, recovery time.
00:01:33.200 --> 00:01:42.319
These are all the things that hormones can do in things like perimenopause, menopause, and PCOS for that matter.
00:01:42.560 --> 00:01:42.879
Okay.
00:01:44.480 --> 00:01:49.439
So when the doctors used to send me their patients, I already had all the background.
00:01:49.519 --> 00:01:52.319
They would say, right, I'm referring this patient to you.
00:01:53.040 --> 00:01:58.799
Um, everything clinically is well, but for some reason they can't lose weight.
00:01:58.879 --> 00:02:01.519
I understood exactly what was happening.
00:02:02.000 --> 00:02:24.080
Okay, I knew exactly what was happening, and here's the thing: the hormone conversation is really important, but currently the way that I see the hormone conversation is it always talks about what makes it harder, which is important.
00:02:25.360 --> 00:02:35.520
But the question that nobody is asking is what's making it impossible to change your body, change your health.
00:02:37.039 --> 00:02:50.879
And what I want to introduce you to is this you see, the ladies I work with will often exhibit the the actual real issue that's going on.
00:02:52.080 --> 00:02:53.439
This might be you.
00:02:55.199 --> 00:03:04.960
You get an email at 11 15 pm and you must respond, or there's a WhatsApp in the work director's group that you must respond to.
00:03:05.520 --> 00:03:05.840
Okay.
00:03:07.599 --> 00:03:21.759
The I'm doing everything right, but it doesn't then include what happens on the Friday night when you've had a stressful week with delivering bored presentations, etc.
00:03:22.479 --> 00:03:22.800
Okay.
00:03:24.719 --> 00:03:38.879
It's when after two weeks you go quiet with whoever you're working with or your personal trainer and you're trying to figure it out yourself.
00:03:40.800 --> 00:03:46.719
It's when you're watching Netflix and you decide to go for the chocolate bar.
00:03:48.960 --> 00:03:52.639
None of that is hormonal.
00:03:54.639 --> 00:03:58.960
What they are are negotiation events, okay.
00:03:59.759 --> 00:04:04.000
And these are the things that are happening in women who have optimized every area of their life.
00:04:04.080 --> 00:04:16.879
You've got the HRT, you've got all of the supplements, you've got the perfect protocol, but you're still stuck, and those are the reasons that are happening, etc.
00:04:17.199 --> 00:04:17.759
Why?
00:04:20.560 --> 00:04:30.959
See, this is what happens, and I can hear it very quickly the minute I start working with someone, okay, because we'll understand the medical history, the dieting history, etc.
00:04:31.279 --> 00:04:40.879
But I want them to explain what's happening, and I see it in the language that you use, okay?
00:04:41.680 --> 00:04:55.680
And it'll be something like this it's my hormones, okay, and what happens is we recruit complexity to shroud what is a simple conclusion.
00:04:55.839 --> 00:05:07.839
It's it's the case we build from real evidence, weight gain, uh, not exercising properly, not eating well, not sleeping well.
00:05:08.959 --> 00:05:12.560
And what it does is it closes the investigation down fast.
00:05:12.720 --> 00:05:18.319
Okay, what it does is says, This is the problem, do not look at it any deeper.
00:05:18.800 --> 00:05:24.000
Okay, and this is something that happens very a lot, right?
00:05:24.079 --> 00:05:40.560
It's the woman who is meticulous about taking her HRT and the supplements and the sleep hygiene and the stress management, everything's perfect, but then they go quiet for two weeks and haven't spoken to their personal trainer or their coach.
00:05:41.040 --> 00:05:51.279
Then comes back with the guilt that says, Oh, I've been I've been really stressed, and I've been trying to fix it on my own before reaching out.
00:05:51.920 --> 00:05:55.199
That right there is what we call a negotiation.
00:05:55.600 --> 00:06:02.160
Okay, you're negotiating getting the problem solved faster by keeping quiet and trying to fix it yourself.
00:06:02.879 --> 00:06:07.759
Because if you if you if it felt right to fix it, you would have just reached out straight away.
00:06:08.879 --> 00:06:16.720
It's the woman whose boardroom standard and kitchen standard are two different operating systems.
00:06:17.519 --> 00:06:24.399
Because you would never go to the boardroom and say, Oh, I couldn't make this presentation happen.
00:06:24.560 --> 00:06:26.879
You would do everything in your power to make it happen.
00:06:27.120 --> 00:06:33.360
What happens is when you get home, is that people aren't watching you, you don't have the spotlight.
00:06:33.759 --> 00:06:39.519
So it feels safer to let your standard drop at that particular moment because no one's watching.
00:06:42.000 --> 00:06:42.959
That's it.
00:06:44.720 --> 00:06:45.040
Okay.
00:06:46.639 --> 00:06:50.000
So this is really important.
00:06:52.399 --> 00:06:57.519
Hormones affect the difficulty, they do not determine the outcome.
00:06:57.600 --> 00:06:58.560
I'm gonna say this again.
00:06:58.800 --> 00:07:05.120
Hormones affect the difficulty, they don't determine the outcome.
00:07:05.360 --> 00:07:19.519
Okay, and the wellness industry has collapsed them into one because ultimately it's harder for you, doesn't build an audience.
00:07:19.759 --> 00:07:22.720
The rules are different for you, does build an audience.
00:07:22.800 --> 00:07:27.759
It makes it feel like there's all these enemies around and you cannot help yourself.
00:07:27.839 --> 00:07:41.519
So it actually aids in the negotiation with yourself, and the rules aren't different, it's just the margin for error is smaller, the consistent requirement, consistency requirement is higher.
00:07:41.680 --> 00:07:54.720
It means that where you used to get away with a 70-30% split between being in line with your goals now requires 80-20, 90-10, 95-5.
00:07:56.160 --> 00:08:04.079
And this is why it's even more important to understand that the negotiation you have with yourself costs more in this phase of life than it did before.
00:08:04.639 --> 00:08:06.800
That's the root of it.
00:08:06.959 --> 00:08:13.759
The negotiation that you used to be okay with before just can't show up in the same way it did now.
00:08:14.399 --> 00:08:18.560
Okay, which means the negotiation has stopped.
00:08:18.720 --> 00:08:24.160
Not because it's easy, but the cost of that negotiation has now increased.
00:08:24.319 --> 00:08:39.600
It's impacting your performance, it's impacting how you show up, it's impacting the way you look and feel about yourself, it's impacting the clothes you can wear, it's impacting the confidences to which you go for promotions, you go for that speaking gig.
00:08:39.679 --> 00:08:43.679
It's all everything is impacted by that negotiation.
00:08:45.759 --> 00:08:51.759
And here's the question: if you give up all your agency to your hormones, what agency do you have left?
00:08:54.720 --> 00:08:59.840
So again, if you give all your agency to your hormones, what agency do you have left?
00:09:08.559 --> 00:09:23.039
So this is the important part that I really want you to really focus on is and how do I phrase this the right way so it really gets across what I'm saying?
00:09:23.200 --> 00:09:40.799
But the inherited standard that says self-care is leisure, not work, or the parental narrative where your parents told you that your work output is more important than your health output.
00:09:42.960 --> 00:10:10.720
The identification, oh, I'm a parent, which means that you'll do everything for your kids, but won't have the same standards for you, and that was always built around an identity of output and performance always being the reliable thing, and that's been the private, quiet loophole available in the health domain because nobody's watching that.
00:10:10.879 --> 00:10:43.440
Everyone's focused on your output, everyone's watching how you show up like a boss at work, everyone watches how you perform in a tricky negotiations with um with a bid or a client that's been difficult, and this is where the important work that I have with my clients is one of the things that I have is called a superior identity because what we're doing is we're now moving the identity that you have improved into the health domain of your life.
00:10:45.200 --> 00:10:53.919
And what happens when we go through that piece of work and we refine it over time that we work together is that I see this.
00:10:54.559 --> 00:11:06.559
The women I work with no longer just see themselves as the parent or whatever, they see themselves as I'm an athlete, I'm the hot body girl.
00:11:07.120 --> 00:11:15.360
Because they realize that they've been silently negotiating with that part of their health for years, decades, even.
00:11:15.519 --> 00:11:17.519
And it takes work, it takes time.
00:11:19.039 --> 00:11:26.639
Even today, I had a client talk about how she's now in clothes that she wore seven years ago.
00:11:26.879 --> 00:11:28.879
She'd never been able to fit into them.
00:11:29.679 --> 00:11:39.759
The protocol that we've given her from a nutrition point of view is not super duper new, it's not massively hormonally fixed.
00:11:41.200 --> 00:11:47.840
We have got her to the stage where she no longer is negotiating about her health practice.
00:11:49.120 --> 00:11:50.879
That's her superhero identity.
00:11:51.039 --> 00:11:53.120
That's it in a nutshell.
00:11:55.840 --> 00:11:57.840
So I just want to leave you with this.
00:12:00.639 --> 00:12:10.559
Your hormones are not the obstacle between you and the health and the body that you want, they're the context in which you have to do the work.
00:12:11.279 --> 00:12:14.080
And it's the same obstacle that has always been there.
00:12:15.200 --> 00:12:17.840
But this is an even bigger one now.
00:12:19.279 --> 00:12:28.480
The actual barrier, the actual blocker is the private negotiation that happens when nobody is watching, including you.
00:12:30.000 --> 00:12:34.879
Address that, then the hormones become more manageable.
00:12:35.919 --> 00:12:41.200
Leave that unaddressed, and no protocol in the world is ever going to be enough.
00:12:43.039 --> 00:12:45.679
So I want to leave you on that point.
00:12:47.440 --> 00:12:51.600
It's not hormones, it's a private negotiation with yourself.
00:12:51.679 --> 00:13:02.480
And if you've tried everything to fix your hormones and you're doing everything right, and you're still not getting results, then we need to talk.
00:00:02.720 --> 00:00:05.839
You're doing everything you've been told to do regarding your hormones.
00:00:05.919 --> 00:00:15.359
You're doing the HRT, you're doing the supplements, you've got the protocol built all around your cycle, and things still aren't falling into place.
00:00:15.919 --> 00:00:19.120
This episode is about the why.
00:00:20.800 --> 00:00:38.719
You see, having been in this game a long time, having worked in gynecology, maternity, endocrinology, rheumatology, and many other specialties in the top London hospital in the UK, I realized something very much.
00:00:38.799 --> 00:00:52.159
And when consultants used to send me their patients to help them lose weight, despite everything else being tipped up medically okay, here's what I realized.
00:00:53.280 --> 00:01:03.600
You see, hormones are massively important, they are the chemical messages that tell organs what to do, essentially.
00:01:03.679 --> 00:01:04.319
That's what they do.
00:01:04.400 --> 00:01:08.560
They tell your body what to do at specific times for specific reasons.
00:01:09.680 --> 00:01:32.719
And when it comes to perimenopause and menopause, they have a big impact on things like appetite uh regulation, sleep disruption, um, how sensitive you might be to cortisol, which might then impact your appetite, insulin resistance, mood, motivation, how exercise affects your body, recovery time.
00:01:33.200 --> 00:01:42.319
These are all the things that hormones can do in things like perimenopause, menopause, and PCOS for that matter.
00:01:42.560 --> 00:01:42.879
Okay.
00:01:44.480 --> 00:01:49.439
So when the doctors used to send me their patients, I already had all the background.
00:01:49.519 --> 00:01:52.319
They would say, right, I'm referring this patient to you.
00:01:53.040 --> 00:01:58.799
Um, everything clinically is well, but for some reason they can't lose weight.
00:01:58.879 --> 00:02:01.519
I understood exactly what was happening.
00:02:02.000 --> 00:02:24.080
Okay, I knew exactly what was happening, and here's the thing: the hormone conversation is really important, but currently the way that I see the hormone conversation is it always talks about what makes it harder, which is important.
00:02:25.360 --> 00:02:35.520
But the question that nobody is asking is what's making it impossible to change your body, change your health.
00:02:37.039 --> 00:02:50.879
And what I want to introduce you to is this you see, the ladies I work with will often exhibit the the actual real issue that's going on.
00:02:52.080 --> 00:02:53.439
This might be you.
00:02:55.199 --> 00:03:04.960
You get an email at 11 15 pm and you must respond, or there's a WhatsApp in the work director's group that you must respond to.
00:03:05.520 --> 00:03:05.840
Okay.
00:03:07.599 --> 00:03:21.759
The I'm doing everything right, but it doesn't then include what happens on the Friday night when you've had a stressful week with delivering bored presentations, etc.
00:03:22.479 --> 00:03:22.800
Okay.
00:03:24.719 --> 00:03:38.879
It's when after two weeks you go quiet with whoever you're working with or your personal trainer and you're trying to figure it out yourself.
00:03:40.800 --> 00:03:46.719
It's when you're watching Netflix and you decide to go for the chocolate bar.
00:03:48.960 --> 00:03:52.639
None of that is hormonal.
00:03:54.639 --> 00:03:58.960
What they are are negotiation events, okay.
00:03:59.759 --> 00:04:04.000
And these are the things that are happening in women who have optimized every area of their life.
00:04:04.080 --> 00:04:16.879
You've got the HRT, you've got all of the supplements, you've got the perfect protocol, but you're still stuck, and those are the reasons that are happening, etc.
00:04:17.199 --> 00:04:17.759
Why?
00:04:20.560 --> 00:04:30.959
See, this is what happens, and I can hear it very quickly the minute I start working with someone, okay, because we'll understand the medical history, the dieting history, etc.
00:04:31.279 --> 00:04:40.879
But I want them to explain what's happening, and I see it in the language that you use, okay?
00:04:41.680 --> 00:04:55.680
And it'll be something like this it's my hormones, okay, and what happens is we recruit complexity to shroud what is a simple conclusion.
00:04:55.839 --> 00:05:07.839
It's it's the case we build from real evidence, weight gain, uh, not exercising properly, not eating well, not sleeping well.
00:05:08.959 --> 00:05:12.560
And what it does is it closes the investigation down fast.
00:05:12.720 --> 00:05:18.319
Okay, what it does is says, This is the problem, do not look at it any deeper.
00:05:18.800 --> 00:05:24.000
Okay, and this is something that happens very a lot, right?
00:05:24.079 --> 00:05:40.560
It's the woman who is meticulous about taking her HRT and the supplements and the sleep hygiene and the stress management, everything's perfect, but then they go quiet for two weeks and haven't spoken to their personal trainer or their coach.
00:05:41.040 --> 00:05:51.279
Then comes back with the guilt that says, Oh, I've been I've been really stressed, and I've been trying to fix it on my own before reaching out.
00:05:51.920 --> 00:05:55.199
That right there is what we call a negotiation.
00:05:55.600 --> 00:06:02.160
Okay, you're negotiating getting the problem solved faster by keeping quiet and trying to fix it yourself.
00:06:02.879 --> 00:06:07.759
Because if you if you if it felt right to fix it, you would have just reached out straight away.
00:06:08.879 --> 00:06:16.720
It's the woman whose boardroom standard and kitchen standard are two different operating systems.
00:06:17.519 --> 00:06:24.399
Because you would never go to the boardroom and say, Oh, I couldn't make this presentation happen.
00:06:24.560 --> 00:06:26.879
You would do everything in your power to make it happen.
00:06:27.120 --> 00:06:33.360
What happens is when you get home, is that people aren't watching you, you don't have the spotlight.
00:06:33.759 --> 00:06:39.519
So it feels safer to let your standard drop at that particular moment because no one's watching.
00:06:42.000 --> 00:06:42.959
That's it.
00:06:44.720 --> 00:06:45.040
Okay.
00:06:46.639 --> 00:06:50.000
So this is really important.
00:06:52.399 --> 00:06:57.519
Hormones affect the difficulty, they do not determine the outcome.
00:06:57.600 --> 00:06:58.560
I'm gonna say this again.
00:06:58.800 --> 00:07:05.120
Hormones affect the difficulty, they don't determine the outcome.
00:07:05.360 --> 00:07:19.519
Okay, and the wellness industry has collapsed them into one because ultimately it's harder for you, doesn't build an audience.
00:07:19.759 --> 00:07:22.720
The rules are different for you, does build an audience.
00:07:22.800 --> 00:07:27.759
It makes it feel like there's all these enemies around and you cannot help yourself.
00:07:27.839 --> 00:07:41.519
So it actually aids in the negotiation with yourself, and the rules aren't different, it's just the margin for error is smaller, the consistent requirement, consistency requirement is higher.
00:07:41.680 --> 00:07:54.720
It means that where you used to get away with a 70-30% split between being in line with your goals now requires 80-20, 90-10, 95-5.
00:07:56.160 --> 00:08:04.079
And this is why it's even more important to understand that the negotiation you have with yourself costs more in this phase of life than it did before.
00:08:04.639 --> 00:08:06.800
That's the root of it.
00:08:06.959 --> 00:08:13.759
The negotiation that you used to be okay with before just can't show up in the same way it did now.
00:08:14.399 --> 00:08:18.560
Okay, which means the negotiation has stopped.
00:08:18.720 --> 00:08:24.160
Not because it's easy, but the cost of that negotiation has now increased.
00:08:24.319 --> 00:08:39.600
It's impacting your performance, it's impacting how you show up, it's impacting the way you look and feel about yourself, it's impacting the clothes you can wear, it's impacting the confidences to which you go for promotions, you go for that speaking gig.
00:08:39.679 --> 00:08:43.679
It's all everything is impacted by that negotiation.
00:08:45.759 --> 00:08:51.759
And here's the question: if you give up all your agency to your hormones, what agency do you have left?
00:08:54.720 --> 00:08:59.840
So again, if you give all your agency to your hormones, what agency do you have left?
00:09:08.559 --> 00:09:23.039
So this is the important part that I really want you to really focus on is and how do I phrase this the right way so it really gets across what I'm saying?
00:09:23.200 --> 00:09:40.799
But the inherited standard that says self-care is leisure, not work, or the parental narrative where your parents told you that your work output is more important than your health output.
00:09:42.960 --> 00:10:10.720
The identification, oh, I'm a parent, which means that you'll do everything for your kids, but won't have the same standards for you, and that was always built around an identity of output and performance always being the reliable thing, and that's been the private, quiet loophole available in the health domain because nobody's watching that.
00:10:10.879 --> 00:10:43.440
Everyone's focused on your output, everyone's watching how you show up like a boss at work, everyone watches how you perform in a tricky negotiations with um with a bid or a client that's been difficult, and this is where the important work that I have with my clients is one of the things that I have is called a superior identity because what we're doing is we're now moving the identity that you have improved into the health domain of your life.
00:10:45.200 --> 00:10:53.919
And what happens when we go through that piece of work and we refine it over time that we work together is that I see this.
00:10:54.559 --> 00:11:06.559
The women I work with no longer just see themselves as the parent or whatever, they see themselves as I'm an athlete, I'm the hot body girl.
00:11:07.120 --> 00:11:15.360
Because they realize that they've been silently negotiating with that part of their health for years, decades, even.
00:11:15.519 --> 00:11:17.519
And it takes work, it takes time.
00:11:19.039 --> 00:11:26.639
Even today, I had a client talk about how she's now in clothes that she wore seven years ago.
00:11:26.879 --> 00:11:28.879
She'd never been able to fit into them.
00:11:29.679 --> 00:11:39.759
The protocol that we've given her from a nutrition point of view is not super duper new, it's not massively hormonally fixed.
00:11:41.200 --> 00:11:47.840
We have got her to the stage where she no longer is negotiating about her health practice.
00:11:49.120 --> 00:11:50.879
That's her superhero identity.
00:11:51.039 --> 00:11:53.120
That's it in a nutshell.
00:11:55.840 --> 00:11:57.840
So I just want to leave you with this.
00:12:00.639 --> 00:12:10.559
Your hormones are not the obstacle between you and the health and the body that you want, they're the context in which you have to do the work.
00:12:11.279 --> 00:12:14.080
And it's the same obstacle that has always been there.
00:12:15.200 --> 00:12:17.840
But this is an even bigger one now.
00:12:19.279 --> 00:12:28.480
The actual barrier, the actual blocker is the private negotiation that happens when nobody is watching, including you.
00:12:30.000 --> 00:12:34.879
Address that, then the hormones become more manageable.
00:12:35.919 --> 00:12:41.200
Leave that unaddressed, and no protocol in the world is ever going to be enough.
00:12:43.039 --> 00:12:45.679
So I want to leave you on that point.
00:12:47.440 --> 00:12:51.600
It's not hormones, it's a private negotiation with yourself.
00:12:51.679 --> 00:13:02.480
And if you've tried everything to fix your hormones and you're doing everything right, and you're still not getting results, then we need to talk.
