Full Transcript for Episode 47: Navigating Severe Bleeding Disorder and Finding Hope in the Toughest Times, Featuring Dr. Christy Oaks

I came from a great family, but losing my dad to suicide at 18, and a lot of the things I learned were kind of around hopelessness, around getting stuck in that persistent state of hopelessness. 00:05:02.266 --> 00:05:07.233 you know, we know it's also very hard on the LGBTQ community. 00:05:07.233 --> 00:05:27.365 You know, hopelessness is often a consequence of oppression, discrimination and so, again, you know, when you look at hopelessness being both despair or super like emotional despair and then motivational helplessness, so powerlessness to do anything about it, of course, you're going to be higher in hopelessness. 00:05:27.365 --> 00:05:30.733 so it's really about being proactive about our hope. 00:05:31.266 --> 00:05:44.000 Not saying it's easy at all, but, you know, learning and working together to cultivate hope in our lives and to learn how to hope and really where our locus of control is in that hope. 00:05:44.333 --> 00:05:51.233 and so, yeah, so I'm really grateful to you for sharing today and being willing to be open again. 00:05:51.233 --> 00:06:00.365 It's you know, we don't we learn through other people and, and when we don't, we can go through, you know, so many unnecessary challenges. 00:06:00.365 --> 00:06:05.399 And I think that, you know, my addictions were just a way to soothe my stress response. 00:06:05.665 --> 00:06:13.432 had I learned at a young age some of these or had I learned from people that have gone through it before me as well, that would have been really helpful. 00:06:13.432 --> 00:06:16.199 So thank you for being here. 00:06:16.199 --> 00:06:19.199 And for being honest about how you're feeling. 00:06:19.199 --> 00:06:21.432 yeah, of course. It's always an adventure. 00:06:21.432 --> 00:06:25.665 I used to be terrified of public speaking, literally terrified. 00:06:25.899 --> 00:06:33.500 And I realized that what I was doing was I was activated my stress response because I get in my head and I think, oh, I've got to say this, I've got. 00:06:33.500 --> 00:06:34.865 And then I'd stop breathing. 00:06:34.865 --> 00:06:40.199 And as soon as you stop breathing, you know, it just triggers that even more and more and more. 00:06:40.199 --> 00:06:41.833 And I'd get into this packed stage. 00:06:41.833 --> 00:06:50.365 So I'm grateful that I've worked hard to get to a place where I can do a podcast. So, yes. You know, maybe you'll have your own someday too. 00:06:50.766 --> 00:06:53.600 Yeah. I don't know about that, but I can. 00:06:53.600 --> 00:06:59.266 I can relate with that, with getting up in front of a classroom and teaching, like the first time I did that, that was very scary. 00:06:59.266 --> 00:07:01.766 But now it's just like, oh, hey, this is me. 00:07:01.766 --> 00:07:03.100 And awkward. 00:07:03.100 --> 00:07:05.766 And I say words wrong and this is just who I am. 00:07:05.766 --> 00:07:07.565 Yes. That's awesome. 00:07:07.565 --> 00:07:09.565 We must embrace that. 00:07:09.565 --> 00:07:11.432 This

is the earlier the better. 00:07:11.432 --> 00:07:13.533 Yeah. yeah. 00:07:13.533 --> 00:07:16.899 So why don't you talk more about your experiences? 00:07:16.899 --> 00:07:19.365 So you mentioned a bleeding disorder. 00:07:19.365 --> 00:07:19.733 What? 00:07:19.733 --> 00:07:22.899 What is what does that even mean, though? 00:07:23.333 --> 00:07:27.033 I have it's actually pretty common in the United States. 00:07:27.033 --> 00:07:31.165 Just most people have a very mild form and don't know that they have a bleeding have the bleeding disorder. 00:07:31.165 --> 00:07:33.600 But what I have is called von Willebrand's disorder. 00:07:34.865 --> 00:07:38.132 and had type two a severe. 00:07:38.132 --> 00:07:44.333 And so what that means for me is that in my in my blood, everyone has well, not everyone. 00:07:44.333 --> 00:07:47.165 If you have sibling disorder issues with your blood, then you don't have this. 00:07:47.165 --> 00:08:01.100 But there's the von Willebrand factor in your blood, and that's part of the clotting agent for whenever you get a cut or a bruise, that goes in and it helps your, your cells stick together so that you can form a clot minor, misshapen. 00:08:01.100 --> 00:08:03.833 And so they don't stick together like they should. 00:08:03.833 --> 00:08:13.033 So the average person, if they were to get like, say, a cat scratch, on average someone without a bleeding disorder would stop bleeding within like seven minutes. 00:08:13.932 --> 00:08:19.500 The last time they did a, timed test on me to see how long it would take for me to stop bleeding. 00:08:19.833 --> 00:08:23.065 They stopped after 45 minutes because my blood just was not clotting. 00:08:23.165 --> 00:08:24.500 Yeah. 00:08:24.500 --> 00:08:25.699 yeah. Yeah. 00:08:25.699 --> 00:08:30.233 So it's, it has a huge impact on, like, everything in my life. 00:08:30.233 --> 00:08:37.399 And, you know, I was born assigned female at birth, so, like, heavily impacted my menstrual cycle. 00:08:38.232 --> 00:08:47.865 so from the time I started, my cycle, I was in and out of the hospital getting blood transfusions and medications to try and help stop the bleeding. 00:08:47.865 --> 00:08:53.966 But that was just like one time when I was 13. 00:08:53.966 --> 00:08:56.966 That entire year, I bled every single day. 00:08:58.966 --> 00:09:01.033 Yeah. Wow. 00:09:01.033 --> 00:09:03.765 And I mean, what are the physical like? 00:09:03.765 --> 00:09:04.765 You like, how did all that? 00:09:04.765 --> 00:09:07.765 I mean, could you do anything? Could you? 00:09:08.466 --> 00:09:13.732 Well, so von Willebrand, willebrand's affects the, soft tissues. 00:09:13.732 --> 00:09:20.200 So, like, when I was really young, I would have, like, really severe nosebleeds, and it would take several hours for them to stop. 00:09:20.200 --> 00:09:27.332 And that was not fun for a kid who had undiagnosed ADHD having to sit still while my mom holds my nose for a nose bleed. 00:09:27.700 --> 00:09:28.633 Oh my.

Gosh. 00:09:29.566 --> 00:09:31.066 and I bruise really easy. 00:09:31.066 --> 00:09:40.633 So at the time when I was younger, there was, actually an investigation into my family for child abuse because I had bruises just from my parents picking me up out of the crib. 00:09:41.566 --> 00:09:48.765 but during that time, with, heavy bleeding from my menstrual cycle, I was just anemic all the time. 00:09:48.765 --> 00:09:53.133 So very, very low energy had to move really slow. 00:09:53.133 --> 00:09:56.466 There was a couple of times where I actually passed out from the blood loss. 00:09:58.633 --> 00:09:59.332 yeah. 00:09:59.332 --> 00:10:00.466 So just. 00:10:00.466 --> 00:10:03.466 Exhaustion. Yeah, yeah. 00:10:03.466 --> 00:10:06.399 And here you sit today for the PhD. 00:10:06.399 --> 00:10:07.533 Yeah. 00:10:07.533 --> 00:10:10.533 Yeah, it's it's kind of a miracle that I'm still alive. 00:10:10.865 --> 00:10:13.533 Wow. Yeah. 00:10:13.533 --> 00:10:15.765 That's amazing. 00:10:15.765 --> 00:10:17.666 so share more. About what? 00:10:17.666 --> 00:10:19.666 So what were the stressors? 00:10:19.666 --> 00:10:22.832 So I'll kind of walk through the shine framework, if that's okay with you. 00:10:22.832 --> 00:10:24.633 And you could just share how you're navigated. 00:10:24.633 --> 00:10:28.265 Is there anything else specifically you want to talk about throughout this? 00:10:29.700 --> 00:10:34.765 no. I feel like, the bleeding disorder has been one of the biggest challenges I've had in my life, so. 00:10:34.765 --> 00:10:36.466 Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. 00:10:36.466 --> 00:10:40.666 And then if you're in a high renaissance for you, you're not equipped with a lot of the skills. 00:10:40.666 --> 00:10:46.432 And I mean, for me being really reactive, very emotionally, you know, reactive to things. 00:10:46.432 --> 00:10:48.500 So we're very fast. 00:10:48.500 --> 00:10:50.899 Trigger I get triggered by something. 00:10:50.899 --> 00:10:54.666 it's so it's been a real process for me to learn. 00:10:55.000 --> 00:11:01.832 But thanks to neuroplasticity, you can rewire your brain through these practices, through all of them, which is amazing. 00:11:01.832 --> 00:11:03.432 So, Yeah. 00:11:03.432 --> 00:11:06.432 And and I actually, as you go by she/her correct. 00:11:06.666 --> 00:11:09.666 She/they. She/they sorry. Got it. 00:11:09.666 --> 00:11:11.500 so you were assigned female. 00:11:11.500 --> 00:11:16.166 And can you can you explain more to our listeners what that means? 00:11:16.166 --> 00:11:16.832 She/they. 00:11:18.232 --> 00:11:23.566 so it is gender identity is unique to every individual. 00:11:23.566 --> 00:11:26.200 For me, I do not identify as cisgender. 00:11:26.200 --> 00:11:31.966 And so for listeners, cisgender means that your gender identity aligns with the sex assigned at birth. 00:11:31.966 --> 00:11:40.666 So if you are assigned female at birth and you resonate with being female and femininity, and you identify as a female,

then you would be cisgender. 00:11:41.966 --> 00:11:45.399 for me, it kind of depends on the day as how I identify. 00:11:45.399 --> 00:11:48.899 So usually I'll just say identify as gender fluid or gender queer. 00:11:49.399 --> 00:11:57.299 And for me, that just means, I don't resonate with identifying as female or resonate with femininity all the time. 00:11:57.299 --> 00:11:58.932 Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. 00:11:58.932 --> 00:12:01.932 It really just ebbs and flows and depends on the day. 00:12:02.000 --> 00:12:10.666 So there are some days she/her pronouns still fine, and there are other days that feels like I need to come out of my skin, because that's not me about it. 00:12:10.932 --> 00:12:12.166 Thank you so much. 00:12:12.166 --> 00:12:14.633 Yeah, and the we’re going to do a whole episode on that. 00:12:14.633 --> 00:12:15.799 I think it's so important. 00:12:15.799 --> 00:12:19.633 And what people fear they often are against. 00:12:19.633 --> 00:12:24.432 And so being open about it and just helping understand this really. 00:12:24.432 --> 00:12:33.332 Yeah, I'm really grateful for that. So, and I'm sure that adds a whole other complexity to everything you navigate. 00:12:33.566 --> 00:12:35.932 Definitely it, I feel like it. 00:12:35.932 --> 00:12:38.865 And, the bleeding disorder and hot impact on my menstrual cycle. 00:12:38.865 --> 00:12:41.865 They kind of they go together, they're like married. 00:12:42.033 --> 00:12:44.865 But, yeah, that makes sense. 00:12:44.865 --> 00:12:47.399 So let's talk more about stressors. 00:12:47.399 --> 00:12:50.332 Triggers, stress skills. 00:12:50.332 --> 00:12:59.666 again, our stress response when we're triggered by things, we have this warning of chemicals in our body nurture and often adrenaline and cortisol. 00:12:59.666 --> 00:13:01.633 And they keep us in our downstairs brain. 00:13:01.633 --> 00:13:08.232 And we can think and collaborate and problem solve and, you know, be in a necessarily hopeful place. 00:13:08.232 --> 00:13:12.765 I say we have to use our sadness or anger fear as indicators. 00:13:12.765 --> 00:13:13.932 We don't want to run from them. 00:13:13.932 --> 00:13:18.865 We want to address them, listen to them, learn from them, and then work to get back. 00:13:18.865 --> 00:13:21.232 Navigating our way back into our upstairs brain. 00:13:21.232 --> 00:13:24.832 That's what we talk a lot of talk to a lot of kids about that. 00:13:25.332 --> 00:13:31.265 So I can imagine there's a million things that are stressors for you in life and that have that. 00:13:31.265 --> 00:13:38.865 And every time, I mean, if you have a bleeding disorder, every time you it's options are cut up or anything happens. 00:13:39.033 --> 00:13:41.066 That's a trigger. I would imagine. 00:13:41.066 --> 00:13:48.166 So can you talk more about the triggers and kind of what you do to navigate it, navigate them? 00:13:50.133 --> 00:14:08.533 You know, you would think every time I would get cut or bump

into something that that would be a trigger, but it's just so much part of my norm that it's honestly not like it's it's almost and maybe this is very, very privileged for me to say within the bleeding disorder community, but I've had a hysterectomy. 00:14:08.533 --> 00:14:15.399 And so since the hysterectomy, it's almost like I sometimes forget that I have a bleeding disorder because that was where all my symptoms came from. 00:14:15.399 --> 00:14:35.466 So for me, the triggers are more of like when a student on campus sees me and, assumes that I'm a person who has a menstrual cycle and asks me if I have a tampon or a pad, that for me as a trigger because it makes you feel really weirdly uncomfortable or if people ask if I have children or when I'm going to have children, or why don't I have children? 00:14:35.633 --> 00:14:40.232 Those are big triggers for me, but not so much the day to day stuff. 00:14:40.232 --> 00:14:43.232 More as like the specific to the menstrual cycle stuff. 00:14:43.466 --> 00:14:44.533 Got it, got it. 00:14:44.533 --> 00:14:47.932 And how do you navigate I mean, navigate the triggers. 00:14:48.466 --> 00:14:49.365 Depends on the day. 00:14:50.932 --> 00:14:51.666 depends on the day. 00:14:51.666 --> 00:14:53.466 And that depends on the trigger. 00:14:53.466 --> 00:14:55.166 Right? Right. 00:14:55.166 --> 00:14:55.432 Yeah. 00:14:55.432 --> 00:14:59.832 And you even realize, I mean, do you realize in your body when you're getting triggered by things? 00:15:00.932 --> 00:15:02.700 it takes me a minute to get there. 00:15:02.700 --> 00:15:05.200 Yeah, to realize what's happening, because I'm. 00:15:05.200 --> 00:15:07.832 I tend to be so in my head. Yeah. 00:15:07.832 --> 00:15:11.265 And getting in touch with my body takes a lot of intentional effort for me. 00:15:12.200 --> 00:15:13.566 Yeah. So. Yeah. 00:15:13.566 --> 00:15:15.166 Yeah, that makes sense. I know. 00:15:15.166 --> 00:15:19.566 And when you grow up in trauma or any kind of you become. 00:15:20.232 --> 00:15:23.299 Yeah, almost protect it against those triggers somewhat. 00:15:23.299 --> 00:15:25.466 You know, you develop this kind of a barrier. 00:15:25.466 --> 00:15:26.100 You cannot. 00:15:26.100 --> 00:15:28.899 And so the you draw everything doesn't it. 00:15:28.899 --> 00:15:29.265 Back to you. 00:15:29.265 --> 00:15:34.966 So it took me as a long time to really get in touch with how am I feeling, what is triggering me? 00:15:34.966 --> 00:15:44.533 I wore a leap which measures HRV in the real time, and it would start vibrating when it noticed I was trigger and I was like, am I? 00:15:44.533 --> 00:15:45.166 I'm triggered? 00:15:45.166 --> 00:15:49.399 And then I would realize, oh, I'm reading an email and this is triggering me. 00:15:49.399 --> 00:15:53.633 So even getting in touch with the triggers, yeah, is so important. 00:15:53.633 --> 00:16:05.265 And to me it's such an important stop approach because until you start really understanding when you're triggered, what triggers you, how it's triggering you, what it makes you feel and how you navigate it. 00:16:05.265 --> 00:16:13.666 You're going to have challenges because when you react, when you're in those triggered places, we do really do things that are very harmful for us. 00:16:13.666 --> 00:16:17.732 So yeah, so it's a process for you, I'm hearing. 00:16:18.466 --> 00:16:19.832 Yes, very much so. 00:16:20.865 --> 00:16:27.399 I feel like I feel like my mental health has a big impact on that too, which we're kind of talking about already. 00:16:29.200 --> 00:16:38.432 but so I'm, I have several diagnoses, but I feel like my depression and my anxiety are like they have a huge impact on how I navigate my life. 00:16:39.200 --> 00:16:43.732 And so there will be days where like, everything's fine. 00:16:43.732 --> 00:16:48.365 But as the days start getting shorter and there's less time that I can spend outside comfortably. 00:16:48.365 --> 00:16:51.466 Not that there's any kind of bad weather, just not preparedness. 00:16:53.133 --> 00:16:57.832 it has a big impact on, like, I guess the depression or even seasonal affective disorder. 00:16:58.666 --> 00:16:59.666 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 00:16:59.666 --> 00:17:01.865 Makes sense. Absolutely. 00:17:01.865 --> 00:17:04.799 So how do you how do you navigate. 00:17:04.799 --> 00:17:13.066 Like what do you do for your stressors. And so I do a lot of gardening. 00:17:13.066 --> 00:17:14.465 You know. Awesome. 00:17:14.465 --> 00:17:15.465 Yeah. Yes. 00:17:15.465 --> 00:17:18.833 I'm very much like a chaos slash cottage garden gardener. 00:17:21.400 --> 00:17:23.665 I like going on nature walks, just being outside. 00:17:23.665 --> 00:17:26.165 I love doing sit spots. 00:17:26.165 --> 00:17:27.165 Are you familiar with what? 00:17:27.165 --> 00:17:27.633 That's that spot. 00:17:27.633 --> 00:17:29.032 That's. No. 00:17:29.032 --> 00:17:30.400 Do you go there? 00:17:30.400 --> 00:17:33.400 Like, my favorite way to start the day? 00:17:33.732 --> 00:17:54.400 but it's just going out in nature and finding a place that you can sit and be comfortable and just sit in silence and just notice, the nature beings around you, see if they have any, like, messages to offer you or if you can find any reflections of what's going on in your world that can give you like information or hope. 00:17:55.833 --> 00:18:10.599 and I'll usually do that practice for at least 15 minutes, but it always ends up turning into like 30 or 45 minutes because I just I love it, but I'll go outside in the mornings, I'll have my tea and I'll just sit in my garden and just watch the birds look at the and see the new blooms. 00:18:11.365 --> 00:18:13.799 Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah. 00:18:13.799 --> 00:18:14.200 Yeah. 00:18:14.200 --> 00:18:20.532 And as you mentioned, I mean, you brought up the weather, but it's challenging to do that then when you get out and crazy weather. 00:18:20.532 --> 00:18:27.099 And so I feel like we have to be

really creative about what skills we use and how we kind of replicate that or in what way. 00:18:28.266 --> 00:18:29.833 I saw a lot of that in Covid. 00:18:29.833 --> 00:18:39.133 If we stopped doing our stress skills or happiness habits, we can, you know, develop a clinical anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder. 00:18:39.133 --> 00:18:49.232 And so for me, I had to get really creative about the stress skills I'm using, especially when I all of a sudden lose access to them or can't do them anymore. 00:18:49.232 --> 00:18:50.099 For whatever reason. 00:18:50.099 --> 00:18:52.865 I have to figure out another way to manage my stress hormones. 00:18:52.865 --> 00:18:55.066 That's healthy for me. 00:18:55.066 --> 00:19:02.700 You know, you used to manage that with smoking or drinking or just things that would take those moments away, but that weren't healthy for me. 00:19:02.700 --> 00:19:04.732 And so, yeah, learning. 00:19:04.732 --> 00:19:07.432 So how are you doing that? 00:19:04.732 --> 00:19:07.432 How are you replacing that? 00:19:07.432 --> 00:19:10.432 Are you in a closed area climate or. 00:19:10.500 --> 00:19:11.732 Yeah, it actually snowed today. 00:19:11.732 --> 00:19:14.400 We had a two hour snow delay. So that was nice. 00:19:15.566 --> 00:19:16.566 Fine. 00:19:16.566 --> 00:19:18.333 Yeah. 00:19:18.333 --> 00:19:21.333 So weirdly, I like being outside when it's cold. 00:19:22.432 --> 00:19:25.400 like, I, I like being able to put the layers on. 00:19:25.400 --> 00:19:25.732 Yeah. 00:19:25.732 --> 00:19:26.900 So I will still go outside. 00:19:26.900 --> 00:19:29.099 I don't spend nearly as much time, though. 00:19:29.099 --> 00:19:34.665 I also have, a lot of houseplants to, like, take care of inside. 00:19:35.000 --> 00:19:41.566 so I will I will, honestly, I'll just walk around my house looking at all my different houseplants to check on them and see how they're doing. 00:19:42.165 --> 00:19:44.165 Yeah, that's one thing that I do. 00:19:44.165 --> 00:19:50.500 I also, I'll do some tapping or yoga or some meditation. 00:19:50.500 --> 00:19:53.566 I also, I like to crochet Little Bear too. 00:19:53.566 --> 00:19:55.232 So yeah, that's kind of neat. 00:19:55.232 --> 00:19:58.232 That title I did nine. 00:19:58.965 --> 00:20:00.665 That's impressive. 00:20:00.665 --> 00:20:01.432 Thank you. 00:20:01.432 --> 00:20:04.432 Yeah, it's very meditative. 00:20:05.200 --> 00:20:07.066 that's gathering. 00:20:07.066 --> 00:20:07.400 Yeah. 00:20:07.400 --> 00:20:13.365 And I you know, when I think about anxiety, I think about for me it was just my fear response. 00:20:13.365 --> 00:20:15.732 Yeah. And I got into that fear response. 00:20:15.732 --> 00:20:18.865 And so this my stress skills helped me navigate my fear response. 00:20:18.865 --> 00:20:28.766 And now I'm very aware of it and very intentional about it so that I can instantly manage, just constantly navigate in my fear response with stress skills. 00:20:29.299 --> 00:20:32.299 And really the same thing with happiness habits. 00:20:32.700 --> 00:20:34.000 Getting serotonin. 00:20:34.000 --> 00:20:39.266 Our bodies can produce serotonin, dopamine, you know, these positive happy hormones. 00:20:39.266 --> 00:20:45.500 And so it's learning how to how to manufacture them within our bodies, how to the best of our ability endorphins. 00:20:46.365 --> 00:20:48.000 And so how do you do that? 00:20:49.165 --> 00:20:55.865 I will say I think practicing gratitude makes a world of difference for me, because it's really easy for me to. 00:20:56.465 --> 00:21:03.432 Yeah, see, the people I graduated high school with, like they have children that are like getting ready to graduate high school or starting to drive. 00:21:03.432 --> 00:21:06.432 And I'm like, I have two cats and a dog. 00:21:07.900 --> 00:21:10.900 Yeah, yeah. 00:21:11.000 --> 00:21:21.932 and so I like I try to reframe that in my mind to be grateful for the fact that, you know, I am still alive, I'm still here, I'm giving back to the community through the clinic that I direct. 00:21:23.000 --> 00:21:29.133 I'm able to help, the future generations of counselors, and by that I'm able to help more clients in that way. 00:21:29.133 --> 00:21:35.932 And so, yeah, just focusing on the things that I'm really grateful for in my life, especially the fur babies. 00:21:36.400 --> 00:21:38.432 Yeah. They're awesome. 00:21:38.432 --> 00:21:40.133 I have a dog myself. It's amazing. 00:21:41.133 --> 00:21:41.566 Yeah. 00:21:41.566 --> 00:21:57.599 And we've been smiling and releasing this bird bones and so and I now was I, I used to get so annoyed by some of the research in literature art like just smile, but it really like we have to produce these happiness ones. 00:21:57.599 --> 00:21:59.532 It really does impact how we feel. 00:21:59.532 --> 00:22:07.032 And I can tell when I'm really low and and I have to do even more things on that, you know, happy moment. 00:22:07.032 --> 00:22:16.232 We're just like researching what can we do to kind of create these happiness moments within ourselves that maybe it doesn't cost money, that the anyone can do anywhere. 00:22:16.232 --> 00:22:18.900 And there are so many creative ways to do it. 00:22:18.900 --> 00:22:23.665 and so what are other are there, do you have any other suggestions or tips? 00:22:25.133 --> 00:22:32.266 so for me, trying to make myself smile without there being like, something to prompt the smile is really difficult. 00:22:32.266 --> 00:22:38.299 And so I will try to intentionally listen to to music that I know will make me smile or laugh. 00:22:38.299 --> 00:22:42.232 And so anything the Alvin and the Chipmunks thing always makes me laugh. 00:22:43.766 --> 00:22:59.599 So, but I this is going to sound so silly, but one of my favorite songs to listen to when I'm feeling down is, Do you remember Weird Al and how he would make parody music? 00:22:59.932 --> 00:23:03.766 he made, a parody song for, Star Wars? 00:23:05.766 -->

00:23:10.465 and that song, like, every time I hear it, like, I can't not be happy when I hear that song because I just love it. 00:23:10.732 --> 00:23:13.732 Right? Right. Yeah. Awesome. Yeah. 00:23:13.732 --> 00:23:17.799 And it's so hard because it's when we're unhappy, we don't want. 00:23:17.799 --> 00:23:20.133 And in fact, you know, we're we're done when we're in. 00:23:20.133 --> 00:23:20.900 It's hard. 00:23:20.900 --> 00:23:31.833 And that does help us to feel better and to get back to a healthier place where we can make better decisions and work to fix challenges we have or, you know, problems. 00:23:32.200 --> 00:23:33.833 now it's super important. 00:23:33.833 --> 00:23:36.833 What about the AI is inspired actions? 00:23:36.865 --> 00:23:38.566 Do cycles steer? 00:23:40.066 --> 00:23:44.365 I tend to do more like visualization slash manifestation. 00:23:44.365 --> 00:23:47.365 So I like digitalize things going well. 00:23:47.365 --> 00:23:51.700 And I know there's some research that shows like visualizing can be really, really powerful. 00:23:52.066 --> 00:23:52.599 Yeah. 00:23:52.599 --> 00:23:57.732 And so I try to tap into that and like yeah that's usually what I do. 00:23:58.232 --> 00:24:01.032 Awesome. Yeah. Visualization. 00:24:01.032 --> 00:24:05.066 And one of the studies I've just interviewed are actually Doctor Diane Dre. 00:24:05.066 --> 00:24:28.932 Her did and hope is that if you visualize something and then you see a challenge or an obstacle, visualize the obstacle and visualize yourself overcoming the obstacle or coming up with a solution and then visualizing another obstacle and then another solution you're actually more likely to achieve, like it boosts your hopes for, and it makes you more likely to achieve whatever you're visualizing. 00:24:29.532 --> 00:24:31.799 So think that's kind of a fun little practice. 00:24:31.799 --> 00:24:35.500 You know, you usually visualize, but you don't really see challenges along the way. 00:24:35.500 --> 00:24:40.900 And then it's with people once they run into this challenges, they kind of give up and they lose hope. 00:24:41.133 --> 00:24:46.000 But if you build kind of self-efficacy, a belief Y can overcome these challenges. 00:24:46.665 --> 00:24:58.700 And that's two one of the reasons we do the shine Hope stories we share, how people overcome challenges that nobody, you know, that people think you can overcome and share how other people have overcome them. 00:24:58.700 --> 00:25:05.400 And, you know, even by writing your own shine Hope story so that you can say, I've done her things in the past. 00:25:05.400 --> 00:25:08.232 I've overcome challenges in the past. 00:25:05.400 --> 00:25:08.232 So this is a new challenge. 00:25:08.232 --> 00:25:09.766 But I'm equipped with some skills. 00:25:09.766 --> 00:25:12.099 I know that I can do things that are hard. 00:25:13.099 --> 00:25:16.099 is another kind of cool booster. So. 00:25:16.665 --> 00:25:20.299 So what about specific to your bleeding disorder? 00:25:20.299 --> 00:25:24.700 What did you have to do to, like, get to doctors? 00:25:24.700 --> 00:25:33.700 I mean, what specific things did you have to do to get a handle on it, to get to a place where, you know, you can be out in society? 00:25:33.700 --> 00:25:36.566 I just think if I had it, I'd be scared, too, you know? 00:25:36.566 --> 00:25:46.766 I mean, if you trip and fall in your, like, playing a game or something and you don't have anyone around or traveling remotely or just any of those things, I don't know. 00:25:46.965 --> 00:25:49.965 Oh, yeah. 00:25:52.766 --> 00:25:53.865 God, my mind just went like. 00:25:53.865 --> 00:25:56.232 Well, you asked not to go. 00:25:53.865 --> 00:25:56.232 Yeah. No. What are the. 00:25:56.232 --> 00:25:58.732 So what are the like? 00:25:56.232 --> 00:25:58.732 What are the specific stuff? 00:25:58.732 --> 00:26:04.365 So you found out at work, what age were you when you found out you're the bleeding disorder? 00:26:04.365 --> 00:26:05.365 Okay. Gotcha. 00:26:05.365 --> 00:26:06.432 I remember your question now. 00:26:06.432 --> 00:26:09.066 So I found out I was 12 or 13. 00:26:10.799 --> 00:26:15.333 and my very, very first period was seven days long. 00:26:15.365 --> 00:26:18.133 The second one was like 25 days long. 00:26:18.133 --> 00:26:21.965 And I ended up being hospitalized because I lost so much blood. 00:26:23.365 --> 00:26:27.232 I'd lost, like, over half of my body's worth of blood in those 25 days. 00:26:28.465 --> 00:26:40.365 so it took a lot of work with my hematologist as well as an ObGyn, and they started me out taking one birth control that didn't work. 00:26:40.365 --> 00:26:42.700 Then they up to two birth control that didn't work. 00:26:42.700 --> 00:26:45.766 And then they added, progesterone and that. 00:26:46.566 --> 00:26:54.032 I mean, it worked ish because for the next like few years, I would be in and out of the hospital. 00:26:54.365 --> 00:26:59.266 I would have, like I said earlier, like a period that lasted for an entire year. 00:26:59.665 --> 00:27:03.099 And so with that medication that I was taking, 00:27:03.099 --> 00:27:08.633 00 Am every single day, never taking a placebo. 00:27:09.000 --> 00:27:14.732 And if I was even 15 minutes late, then I would have a hemorrhage where I would more than likely end up back in the hospital. 00:27:15.965 --> 00:27:30.833 And the medication to treat when I have a severe bleed is intravenous, and it has to be given every six hours and it costs around 20 ish thousand dollars per time your receipt, you receive the medication. 00:27:30.833 --> 00:27:33.833 So it's it's staggeringly expensive. 00:27:38.165 --> 00:27:40.566 So yeah. 00:27:40.566 --> 00:27:43.333 And yeah, that was crazy. 00:27:43.333 --> 00:27:47.599 That was a big part of all of that was just like I lived by the clock. 00:27:47.599 --> 00:27:48.099 And if if, 00:27:48.099 --> 00:27:51.932 00, I had to have my medicine and take it right

then and there. 00:27:51.932 --> 00:27:53.633 And if I didn't then. 00:27:53.633 --> 00:27:54.266 Yeah. So it's going. 00:27:54.266 --> 00:27:56.066 To be a problem in a few days. 00:27:56.066 --> 00:27:59.066 But haven't you remember it? 00:28:01.400 --> 00:28:04.165 so back then it was I knew it was life or death. 00:28:04.165 --> 00:28:08.200 I knew if I didn't take this, then there was going to be some really horrible consequences. 00:28:06.099 --> 00:28:08.200 And they weren't. 00:28:08.200 --> 00:28:11.266 It was not worth like, it was not worth it. 00:28:11.266 --> 00:28:15.465 And plus my parents, my parents, my mom helped me remember a lot of when to take it. 00:28:15.766 --> 00:28:19.799 And it just became this like natural habit of like intuitively, 00:28:19.799 --> 00:28:24.200 00 and that I needed to look at the clock and then go get my medicine. 00:28:24.400 --> 00:28:27.400 Now. Now that's not the case. 00:28:28.066 --> 00:28:31.165 I can enjoy like, oh, it's I need to take my medicine and I'm okay. 00:28:31.165 --> 00:28:33.766 I'm not going to die. Yeah. 00:28:33.766 --> 00:28:36.432 but back then it really was just survival. 00:28:36.432 --> 00:28:39.400 Wow. Yeah. 00:28:36.432 --> 00:28:39.400 Did you have to do the of staff? 00:28:41.833 --> 00:28:44.133 anytime I was hospitalized, I did. 00:28:44.133 --> 00:28:48.133 Anytime I had have surgery, I would have to have the intravenous stuff. 00:28:48.400 --> 00:29:05.400 Stuff like, Gosh, my memory fails me sometimes, but I think it was like 2 or 3 days before the surgery, and then for, oh, two weeks after the surgery, just to make sure that my body healed and that there were there were any breakthrough bleeds. 00:29:05.400 --> 00:29:13.333 And so, throughout my life, I've had, 4 or 5 surgeries. 00:29:13.333 --> 00:29:14.532 And so. 00:29:14.532 --> 00:29:16.165 Yeah. 00:29:14.532 --> 00:29:16.165 And that's and that's still the case. 00:29:16.165 --> 00:29:25.266 Now, if I were to need another surgery or if I were to be in like a serious wreck and I had internal bleeding, then that would be the medication that they would need to give me. 00:29:25.566 --> 00:29:26.266 Gonna do there. 00:29:26.266 --> 00:29:33.532 Now, is that somewhere you have to wear a bracelet or something that tells you what, I do, I wear a medical bracelet all the time. 00:29:34.766 --> 00:29:37.365 and so that way people will know. 00:29:37.365 --> 00:29:40.599 Back in the day, they didn't keep that medication. 00:29:40.599 --> 00:29:41.299 It's got humor. 00:29:41.299 --> 00:29:42.465 P they didn't. 00:29:42.465 --> 00:29:44.566 Not every hospital kept it in stock. 00:29:44.566 --> 00:29:57.900 And so there was when I was in like my 19, like I was 19 or 18, my appendix, became infected and I had to have it removed and we couldn't do the surgery as soon as I needed because we were waiting on that medication. 00:29:57.900 --> 00:30:04.333 And while we were waiting for that hospital to receive that medication

from another hospital, my friend ruptured. 00:30:05.732 --> 00:30:09.000 Yeah, it was just not not a good time. 00:30:09.232 --> 00:30:14.299 And so that was another like, like barrier to access for that lifesaving medication for me. 00:30:14.299 --> 00:30:16.599 So that I could receive the treatment I needed. 00:30:16.599 --> 00:30:18.032 Wow. Yeah. 00:30:18.032 --> 00:30:20.932 So now it's now standard in all hospitals. 00:30:20.932 --> 00:30:21.865 I don't know. 00:30:21.865 --> 00:30:22.799 Yeah, I don't know. 00:30:22.799 --> 00:30:39.799 The last the last time I had surgery, it was like I remember the pharmacist or the hospital actually came to my room to introduce himself to, to me and my partner, because he was hand delivering the medication because it was so expensive and so rare. 00:30:40.566 --> 00:30:45.766 And so, I don't think most people have that experience with their medication when they're in the hospital. 00:30:45.766 --> 00:30:48.133 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:30:48.133 --> 00:30:51.232 How did you how did you pay for all the treatments? 00:30:51.232 --> 00:30:53.032 I mean, it sounds. Yeah. 00:30:53.032 --> 00:31:01.066 So when I turned 18, I incurred a lot of medical debt that my parents had not been able to pay. 00:31:01.333 --> 00:31:02.500 Yeah. 00:31:02.500 --> 00:31:06.865 and then at another point, I didn't have insurance, and so I incurred more medical debt. 00:31:06.865 --> 00:31:12.299 And I actually ended up having to file medical bankruptcy because I just I couldn't afford the astronomical. 00:31:12.299 --> 00:31:15.165 Costs, know what I mean? So many people do. 00:31:15.165 --> 00:31:20.000 That's like such a big challenge that works in the US. 00:31:20.000 --> 00:31:20.799 Yeah. 00:31:20.799 --> 00:31:26.833 And then that's a whole nother layer of, you know, challenges and stressors and all of these things. 00:31:27.566 --> 00:31:30.865 So. Well, it it's amazing. 00:31:30.865 --> 00:31:43.700 I mean, that you're, you know, again, you graduated with a PhD, you know, you've gone through all this and it's taking one step, putting one step in front of the other and continuing to work to kind of solve the challenges that as they have. 00:31:43.965 --> 00:31:47.365 you know, yeah. 00:31:47.365 --> 00:31:49.333 How do you how is your blood condition now? 00:31:49.333 --> 00:31:50.500 How do you how do you feel? 00:31:50.500 --> 00:31:53.400 I mean, is it still pretty? 00:31:53.400 --> 00:31:57.432 I mean, it's still like, if I were to get caught, it's going to take a while for to stop bleeding. 00:31:57.432 --> 00:31:59.432 And I have to like this time of the year. 00:31:59.432 --> 00:32:04.066 I have to be really, like, intentional about my nosebleeds because they can be pretty bad. 00:32:04.066 --> 00:32:06.032 Now to. 00:32:06.032 --> 00:32:17.566 But for the most part, as long as knock on wood, I don't get into any accidents like while I'm driving or like there's no like severe impact on my body, that's I. 00:32:17.566

--> 00:32:23.500 I go through life pretty normal, just a little bit more hyper vigilant than someone who maybe doesn't have a bleeding disorder. 00:32:23.566 --> 00:32:25.900 Yeah. Makes sense. 00:32:25.900 --> 00:32:27.165 and what about your network? 00:32:27.165 --> 00:32:44.633 So who is in your network and has been supportive for you throughout this process? I have they've had, I've had a lot of really wonderful friends that, you know, as friendships do, they ebb and flow. But, I've had some friends that have really been there for me. 00:32:44.633 --> 00:32:47.665 Like when I had my hysterectomy, I had one friend that didn't leave me. 00:32:48.532 --> 00:32:51.000 I have another friend that stayed with my mom during the surgery. 00:32:51.000 --> 00:32:54.465 And so, they were really wonderful people. 00:32:54.965 --> 00:33:00.700 We've, you know, we're all busy and our lives have drifted, so I don't get to see or connect with them as often, but I still hold them. 00:33:00.700 --> 00:33:03.700 And I really like special place in my heart. 00:33:03.833 --> 00:33:16.099 I would say my nurturing network right now is honestly my fur babies are definitely in that network because they are like the best wellness thing ever for me. 00:33:16.965 --> 00:33:18.333 Yeah. Yeah. 00:33:18.333 --> 00:33:24.099 You have my partner and then I've got some friends too that are they just they feed my soul. 00:33:25.432 --> 00:33:25.799 yeah. 00:33:25.799 --> 00:33:26.833 It's amazing. 00:33:26.833 --> 00:33:34.566 When we were talking earlier, I was in another conversation about how it's it takes effort to make friends, to keep connected with friends, you know? 00:33:34.833 --> 00:33:35.532 Yeah. 00:33:35.532 --> 00:33:38.532 And as we're busy and, like, that can become more challenging. 00:33:38.532 --> 00:33:51.465 And as we go through transitions, transitions, sometimes our friends need to change, and we need to be intentional about making those connections, and our friends and our families and all of those people can let us down. 00:33:51.500 --> 00:33:56.200 And so it's important that we also state have a connection to something. 00:33:56.200 --> 00:33:59.266 And some and fur babies are awesome. 00:34:00.566 --> 00:34:03.200 you know, yes, I have a dog. 00:34:03.200 --> 00:34:08.300 And no matter what anyone thinks of me, my dog is always my biggest fan. 00:34:08.599 --> 00:34:10.733 Just just, you know, great. 00:34:10.733 --> 00:34:12.733 Amazing to have, and that's great. 00:34:12.733 --> 00:34:14.500 There's so much research around it. 00:34:14.500 --> 00:34:20.965 You know, I love how all the evidence is finally coming out about a lot of what we knew all along. 00:34:20.965 --> 00:34:24.065 Or, what kind of motivates our hope. So. 00:34:24.865 --> 00:34:28.266 And Pats and Animals are definitely one of them, so that's awesome. 00:34:28.666 --> 00:34:30.266 Yeah. Yeah. 00:34:30.266 --> 00:34:34.965 and then the E in our shine is a limiting challenges. 00:34:34.965 --> 00:34:43.365 And this is kind of a hodgepodge of everything our brain does till I get in the way of words or rumination. 00:34:43.365 --> 00:34:46.965 It's our worry, it's our internalizing failure. 00:34:47.000 --> 00:34:50.266 It's our trying to control things outside of our control. 00:34:50.300 --> 00:34:54.432 You know, it's our biases and just all of these things. 00:34:54.432 --> 00:34:55.500 So can you talk? 00:34:55.500 --> 00:34:57.465 What are your biggest challenges? 00:34:57.465 --> 00:35:01.733 You I don't mean all of them not I mean all of them. 00:35:01.733 --> 00:35:04.432 I know exactly. 00:35:04.432 --> 00:35:05.833 Yeah. 00:35:05.833 --> 00:35:11.465 yeah, I think, I know we always say, like, we're our own worst critic. 00:35:11.833 --> 00:35:13.865 We are, and I. 00:35:13.865 --> 00:35:15.565 Oh, my gosh, I definitely am. 00:35:15.565 --> 00:35:19.365 I think I will be harsher and meaner to myself than anyone else ever. 00:35:19.365 --> 00:35:22.233 Possibly could be worse off. 00:35:22.233 --> 00:35:22.666 Yeah. 00:35:22.666 --> 00:35:27.800 So those automatic negative thoughts that I have, they are a huge challenge. 00:35:27.800 --> 00:35:55.166 And with them comes the rumination and the worry and then internalizing and taking everything personally. And, yeah, it's just it's been it's been, a great opportunity to learn to unlearn those patterns, to try to unlearn those patterns and try to give myself some of that kindness and compassion and grace that I give to most everyone else that I ever meet. 00:35:57.400 --> 00:35:59.465 but yeah, it's hard to give it to myself. 00:35:59.465 --> 00:36:00.465 Yeah. 00:36:00.465 --> 00:36:06.400 I think even the awareness of that and that, you know, becoming aware of that is such an important part of the process. 00:36:06.400 --> 00:36:08.000 Do you use any effort? 00:36:08.000 --> 00:36:10.766 Do you use affirmations at all? 00:36:10.766 --> 00:36:13.465 I actually do like mantras in my mind. 00:36:13.465 --> 00:36:17.766 And so whenever, yeah, whenever that those thoughts start coming in. 00:36:17.766 --> 00:36:36.500 I, have a lot of the thoughts also like for me, it's almost like if I experience any kind of conflict or anything that feels like I feel like I'm being attacked, even though that's probably not what's happening for me growing up, if there was conflict, that was life or death situation usually. 00:36:36.932 --> 00:36:39.932 And so now I almost interpret conflict as life or death. 00:36:40.800 --> 00:36:49.465 And so for me, I have to do the mantra I am safe, I'm calm, I'm protected, and like saying that to myself and visual lighting as well. 00:36:49.465 --> 00:36:56.465 Like when I say when I say I'm grounded, I visualize, words coming out of the bottom of my spine and going down into the earth. 00:36:57.166 --> 00:37:07.666 And when I say I am protected, I visualize like just this, like bubble of like energy and light that surrounds me, that protects

me. 00:37:08.400 --> 00:37:16.599 And so the mantra and the visualization, it seems to really help to ground me and bring me back to the moment and realize there's no life or death situation here. 00:37:16.599 --> 00:37:18.233 You just forgot to do this thing. 00:37:20.065 --> 00:37:22.065 And I up, right? 00:37:22.065 --> 00:37:25.000 Yeah, that's awesome that you found something that works. 00:37:25.000 --> 00:37:27.565 And, you know, different things work for different people. 00:37:27.565 --> 00:37:30.166 So I always say explore what works for you. 00:37:30.166 --> 00:37:36.465 You know, the mantras, affirmations, you not touching the five four, three, two, one word touch, smell, taste. 00:37:37.333 --> 00:37:38.333 You know something. 00:37:38.333 --> 00:37:40.865 You have a practice you can work to because it is. 00:37:40.865 --> 00:37:46.166 We're in our minds and when we get back into the present moment, it's usually everything's okay in the present. 00:37:46.166 --> 00:37:48.233 It's in our minds that it's not okay. 00:37:48.233 --> 00:37:57.166 And so and just even learning what our brain does to kind of talk us into these states, you know, and how to intervene and that we are not our thoughts. 00:37:57.733 --> 00:38:00.565 We are observing our thoughts. 00:38:00.565 --> 00:38:02.699 So I love Michael Singer. 00:38:02.699 --> 00:38:08.532 He's really an inspiration for some of this work. So, yeah, that's awesome. 00:38:08.532 --> 00:38:11.532 And so that's how you shine. 00:38:08.532 --> 00:38:11.532 So I love that. 00:38:11.532 --> 00:38:13.132 Also help. 00:38:13.132 --> 00:38:37.365 I wonder if we could just have just chat for a few minutes about some a conversation I had earlier, if you're willing, about, you know, what do we do about and I, I it's a conversation I have all the time because I go and we speak with different populations and there are certain populations that are so discriminated against, so marginal, was so high in hopelessness. 00:38:37.833 --> 00:38:38.500 Yeah. 00:38:38.500 --> 00:38:52.699 And that say, how can I hope and why should I hope when the system are, you know, set up this way and you know, we're the power and they're not changing. 00:38:55.300 --> 00:39:02.833 what do you, what do you have any advice or thoughts or, you know, words of wisdom on that from your perspective? 00:39:05.699 --> 00:39:13.565 that's saying that I just thinking about institutionalized racism and how. 00:39:13.565 --> 00:39:16.565 Yeah, just how that impacts Bipoc communities. 00:39:17.432 --> 00:39:27.266 And also I'm thinking about intersectionality and how, like the different layers of our different identities and how they're layered and how they impact how we navigate the world. 00:39:31.065 --> 00:39:44.666 and then I'm also thinking about, like, implicit biases, the biases that a lot of people hold internally that they were learning before they even understood what they were learning or how to think, but they were learning.

00:39:45.266 --> 00:39:48.266 And so. 00:39:48.865 --> 00:39:54.032 I guess, to answer that question, I'm just going to kind of look at it from a macro lens. 00:39:54.032 --> 00:39:56.266 So just on an individual level. 00:39:56.266 --> 00:40:14.333 And so perhaps one of the ways we can start to combat that is by inviting people to be more open, to have an honest look at what implicit biases they hold and not not attach those biases to whether or not they're good or bad people. 00:40:14.333 --> 00:40:27.900 So not threatening their worth or their value, but to be more critical, be a more critical consumer of their thoughts and their beliefs, and is is this thing that I did that a microaggression that caused harm? 00:40:29.065 --> 00:40:34.565 Is that a symptom of an internal belief that I didn't realize I had? 00:40:34.565 --> 00:40:37.233 And does that align with my values? 00:40:37.233 --> 00:40:39.865 And if it doesn't, how can I how can I unpack that? 00:40:39.865 --> 00:40:48.432 How can I unlearn that? And how can I, show up in more authentic ways to support communities that I care deeply about and people that I love? 00:40:49.266 --> 00:40:52.266 On to counseling is one way that a lot of people can do that. 00:40:52.465 --> 00:40:53.800 You know? 00:40:53.800 --> 00:40:54.465 Yeah. 00:40:54.465 --> 00:40:55.233 It's wonderful. 00:40:55.233 --> 00:40:58.199 I know I we all need counselors. 00:40:58.199 --> 00:41:00.166 Yes, I, I love my counselor. 00:41:00.166 --> 00:41:01.465 You know that. 00:41:01.465 --> 00:41:06.465 I know it doesn't mean you're sick or there's something wrong with, you know, such a. 00:41:06.465 --> 00:41:08.865 It means you're human. Exactly. 00:41:08.865 --> 00:41:12.565 And life is challenging and people can be challenging, you know? 00:41:12.833 --> 00:41:13.965 Yeah. Yeah. 00:41:13.965 --> 00:41:22.965 And I mean, having that non-biased third party who has total unconditional positive regard for you is it's so rare. 00:41:24.065 --> 00:41:27.965 and I need a lot of people who are like, oh, I try the therapists. 00:41:27.965 --> 00:41:30.000 And they were no good for me. 00:41:27.965 --> 00:41:30.000 I didn't like them. 00:41:30.000 --> 00:41:31.500 I don't want to go back. 00:41:31.500 --> 00:41:32.766 And I hear that, and I understand that. 00:41:32.766 --> 00:41:37.865 And some people really do have horrible experiences with therapists, and I don't mean to minimize that. 00:41:38.532 --> 00:41:50.800 And I would like to invite them to consider, a metaphor of like when you're a kid and you change schools and you're trying to find your new friend group, not every friend group in that school is going to be a good fit. 00:41:50.800 --> 00:41:53.065 You got to find the one that's going to be a good fit. 00:41:53.065 --> 00:41:55.266 And I think it's the same for trying to find a counselor. 00:41:55.266 --> 00:41:59.465 You got to find the one that's going to be a good fit, and not everybody is going to be a good fit. 00:42:00.000 --> 00:42:00.865 Yeah. 00:42:00.865 --> 00:42:03.500 solutely absolutely. Yeah. 00:42:03.500 --> 00:42:05.766 And I've had them through different periods of my life. 00:42:05.766 --> 00:42:10.833 Different counselors have served, you know, purposes during different periods of time, too. 00:42:10.833 --> 00:42:15.833 So it's okay to change at some point to if, you know, if you want some. 00:42:16.333 --> 00:42:17.565 Absolutely. Yeah. 00:42:17.565 --> 00:42:22.965 And you don't want to wait until you're in time of crisis to go find a therapist, that's not the easiest time to find one. 00:42:22.965 --> 00:42:24.865 That's good because you're in crisis. 00:42:24.865 --> 00:42:28.666 You know, it's about, we have one. 00:42:28.666 --> 00:42:32.065 And in your nourishing network, you know what I call. 00:42:32.400 --> 00:42:34.632 Yeah. I should have added her to my nourishing network. 00:42:34.632 --> 00:42:42.699 I'm sorry, I forgot, but, yeah, she definitely, she hold space for me when I need it, and she. 00:42:42.699 --> 00:42:45.699 Yeah, I appreciate her very much. 00:42:45.900 --> 00:42:46.965 Yeah. 00:42:46.965 --> 00:42:49.965 That's awesome. Yeah. 00:42:50.000 --> 00:42:50.565 yeah. 00:42:50.565 --> 00:42:55.365 So, any final thoughts or things you want to share? 00:42:55.900 --> 00:42:59.565 to our listeners or about your story or tips or. 00:43:02.000 --> 00:43:05.000 Oh my gosh. 00:43:05.400 --> 00:43:14.400 just to be kind to yourself, give yourself some grace and some kindness and continue to be open and curious. 00:43:16.932 --> 00:43:17.733 yeah. 00:43:17.733 --> 00:43:18.465 Wonderful. 00:43:18.465 --> 00:43:31.500 Well, thank you so much for joining, trustee with a Y and sharing your, your story and your journey and your challenges and, and how you're navigating, many healthy ways. 00:43:31.500 --> 00:43:39.632 And, you know, hopefully some of our listeners got some skills that they can use in their own lives or similar challenges or different challenges. 00:43:40.099 --> 00:43:46.766 but as I said, we're better when we share stories and we share what's working and what's not working and learn kind of together. 00:43:46.865 --> 00:43:49.065 So I'm really grateful. 00:43:49.065 --> 00:43:52.599 How can people learn more about you, or is that something you want to? 00:43:56.233 --> 00:43:59.733 what's what's the what's the normal way people are the other people. 00:43:59.733 --> 00:44:04.632 Well, LinkedIn or websites or any of the, that those. 00:44:04.632 --> 00:44:05.465 Yeah. 00:44:05.465 --> 00:44:10.565 I do have a LinkedIn and it's under Christine and then in parentheses, Kristi with a Y. 00:44:10.733 --> 00:44:13.365 Okay. Awesome. 00:44:13.365 --> 00:44:13.632 yeah. 00:44:13.632 --> 00:44:19.965 So they've been find me on there if they want or I, I do have an Etsy shop where I sell my crochet if anybody is. 00:44:19.965 --> 00:44:26.565 You just did I, did I, I just started it and like, I only have two items

because another one just sold. 00:44:26.565 --> 00:44:28.632 But that's that's a tiny shop. 00:44:28.632 --> 00:44:31.965 But it's the liminal, the liminal nook. 00:44:32.532 --> 00:44:34.233 The liminal, not. 00:44:34.233 --> 00:44:36.632 Wow, liminal. 00:44:36.632 --> 00:44:39.632 ally I don't know. 00:44:40.032 --> 00:44:42.000 nook. Awesome. 00:44:42.000 --> 00:44:44.465 That's so cool. Well, got. I'm fast. 00:44:42.000 --> 00:44:44.465 There's two. 00:44:44.465 --> 00:44:48.099 I'm a hurry and takes you a while to make, you know. 00:44:49.099 --> 00:44:50.300 it depends on what it is. 00:44:50.300 --> 00:44:52.965 The more I do it, the faster I get. So, like, this. 00:44:52.965 --> 00:44:55.965 Awesome. Sweater took, like, 3 or 4 days. 00:44:56.565 --> 00:44:59.065 wow, that's pretty incredible. 00:44:59.065 --> 00:44:59.632 Thank you. Oh. 00:44:59.632 --> 00:45:00.532 That's awesome. 00:45:00.532 --> 00:45:03.465 Well, thank you so much for joining and sharing your story. 00:45:03.465 --> 00:45:05.932 It was really wonderful connecting with you. 00:45:05.932 --> 00:45:08.400 Thank you. 00:45:05.932 --> 00:45:08.400 Likewise, learning more about you. 00:45:08.400 --> 00:45:10.333 And thanks for going into counseling. 00:45:10.333 --> 00:45:12.900 You need counselors out there. 00:45:12.900 --> 00:45:17.233 so much so, so many people, different challenges. 00:45:17.965 --> 00:45:21.400 you know, talk in my nourishing network for sure. 00:45:21.432 --> 00:45:28.465 Therapist. So, and thanks to all you listeners for listening in, please be sure to share this with others. 00:45:28.733 --> 00:45:34.132 spread the message that hope is measurable and teachable, and we've got to be intentional about our hope and practice skills. 00:45:34.833 --> 00:45:41.400 And our shine Hope framework provides kind of an evidence based approach for how we can can work on our hope. 00:45:41.432 --> 00:45:42.266 It's a journey. 00:45:42.266 --> 00:45:43.500 You know, it's a daily journey. 00:45:43.500 --> 00:45:45.266 So again, thanks for listening. 00:45:45.266 --> 00:45:49.065 And and Christy, thank you again for joining us today. 00:45:49.599 --> 00:45:51.065 Yeah. Thank you so much for having me. 00:45:51.065 --> 00:45:52.632 I really appreciate it. 00:45:52.632 --> 00:45:54.666 Thanks. have a great day. Keep shining. 00:45:56.532 --> 00:46:00.833 Thank you all for listening in to the Hope Matrix podcast. 00:46:01.532 --> 00:46:04.965 We want to shine a light that hope is teachable. 00:46:04.965 --> 00:46:21.266 Hope is measurable and teachable and provide you with actionable insights for how you can start activating hope in your life today and provide a framework so you can start talking about hope with other people and practice these skills together because we are better with hope. 00:46:22.400 --> 00:46:28.599 Please feel free to check out theshinehopecompany.com, where we list all of our resources around how to Hope. 00:46:28.800 --> 00:46:41.965 We have a lot of free programs for how to hope, including the five day Challenge, our Hope infographic with a lot of skills that showcase how to hope and articles of how to incorporate hope in your life. 00:46:41.965 --> 00:46:46.266 We have The Hopebeat Weekly, which is a weekly newsletter that shares strategies for hope. 00:46:46.266 --> 00:46:51.900 We have a My Hope Story templates so you can write your own Hope story today. 00:46:52.400 --> 00:46:59.699 Also my Hope Hero so we can share what our heroes are doing to activate hope in their lives. 00:46:59.699 --> 00:47:10.032 And this is especially good with youth so they can start looking up to people that have overcome similar or challenges to them and seen how these heroes use the Shine Hope framework. 00:47:10.666 --> 00:47:15.833 We have a Hopeful Minds for Teens program and Hopeful minds Overview Educator Guides. 00:47:15.833 --> 00:47:20.565 We have a new evidence based college course so you can activate Hope on the college campus. 00:47:21.032 --> 00:47:23.532 There are programs in the workplace. 00:47:23.532 --> 00:47:29.365 Overview courses 90 minute courses for learning the what, why and how to hope. 00:47:29.699 --> 00:47:32.699 What I want you to know about hope is it's a skill. 00:47:33.065 --> 00:47:35.965 You've got to practice these skills to become hopeful. 00:47:35.965 --> 00:47:43.532 It's easy to fall into despair and helplessness when we deal with challenges in life, and it takes intentional work and practice to get to hope. 00:47:44.099 --> 00:47:46.632 And yet it is always possible. 00:47:46.632 --> 00:47:48.599 So no matter what life brings. 00:47:49.599 --> 00:47:51.032 Keep shining hope. 00:47:51.032 --> 00:47:53.865 Thanks so much for listening and have an awesome day. 00:47:53.865 --> 00:48:03.666 And of course, I’ve got to add this, that this program is designed to assist you in learning about hope should not be used for medical advice, counseling, or other health related services. 00:48:03.666 --> 00:48:11.699 iFred, The Shine Hope Company and myself, Kathryn Goetzke do not endorse or provide any medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. 00:48:12.032 --> 00:48:14.266 I am not a medical doctor. 00:48:14.266 --> 00:48:29.465 The information provided here should not be used for the diagnosis or treatment of any medical condition and cannot be substituted for the advice of physicians, license professionals or therapists who are familiar with your specific situation. 00:48:30.166 --> 00:48:34.500 Consult a licensed medical profession or call 911. 00:48:34.532 --> 00:48:39.365 If you are in need of immediate assistance and be sure to know the crisis Hotline. 00:48:39.599 --> 00:48:42.599 988. If you are in need of support. 00:48:42.932 --> 00:48:44.166 Thanks so much for listening. 00:48:44.166 --> 00:48:47.266 Take good care of yourself and keep shining hope.