One Conversation Changed Everything | Sarah's Incredible Journey | Grit & Grace #26

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Well, welcome to the show.
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I'm I'm really honestly, when you left, after we left our conversation when we met at the coffee shop, I was I was so on fire that my my own soul was so full.
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Um so thanks for being here.
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Oh, thanks for having me.
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I'm very excited.
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It's it's so encouraging when when the stories of you know our life's work are touching to others because so many people don't have that reaction.
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So thank you.
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Yeah, it's so in here.
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I why I what filled my soul is you know, we're both moms, we're both wives, we both love to serve and help people, you know, that we have in common.
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You are you live here sometimes, but you also are international.
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Um, and you live in a world that I have only heard about and I don't know about, and yet I know it's true and it's happening, but I don't live in it daily.
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And that was it inspired my own faith because you know, we could look at um we can look, I went on one mission trip my my entire life.
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I went to Puerto Rico, um, which was the people were great.
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My team was great.
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I knew on that trip, and I went with my daughter, I knew on that trip I was not made for missions, at least in that context that I went.
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I felt like I just failed the people I went to serve, I failed the team I went, I went with because I just um the tr having to try like wait for the translator would trip me up every time I had to say something.
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And I I just felt like I was messing up all over the place.
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And I just thought, man, you know, this is not my sweet spot.
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I knew that then.
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But I'm always inspired.
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One of the things that, you know, when I listen to your story, one of the things that I was really inspired by, and it's stories like yours, you know, when I when I hear my own life and my testimony, I don't, I've come to see this is a gift that really God gave me, is that you know, I look at stories like yours and like missionaries where and and people just do amazing things.
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You just go, Wow, how does that happen?
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How does that work?
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How do they do what they do?
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And I could just be like, whoa.
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But when I when I hear my own, I have come to learn I don't have a wow story in the sense of like, wow.
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Um, one in particular when you had just everything go down, you know, you had like no community, it was during COVID and no communication, no nothing, you know, all of that.
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And literally it's like, well, what do we do now?
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I look at your story like, wow, you literally had to be like, all right, God, you're gonna have to show up because we are all like everything is shut down.
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And those are stories that I only read about.
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When I look at my own life, what I found is mine is not a wow like that, but mine is so common.
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And by common, that doesn't diminish the value by any means.
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It just means a lot of people tell me that they what is special about mine is that it is so common.
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So, like I I relate to the girl next door, I could relate to the mom who's struggling, I could relate, but when I hear stories like yours, I get really inspired because it's it's a life that I don't know about.
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Um, and yet I'm speaking to a wife mom woman who is just like me with a heart for God, for her family and for people around her.
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And so that's what really inspired me.
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It's a long way to say that that really is what inspired me.
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Um so I'm really honored that you're here.
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Well, thank you.
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That's so funny that you say that because I'm like my own story of faith is actually quite boring.
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It's so inspirational.
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Um, so you know, I think what we're familiar with, we don't maybe value as much, if that's if that's a way of saying it.
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But I I appreciate that.
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Thank you.
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Yeah, yeah.
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Well, you know, you're um what I I love to hear people's stories that and in you hear it in anybody's story if you're willing to like lean in and and listen.
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And this is what I love to hear.
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And you shared it when we sat for coffee.
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So I love to hear the pivots in life that people have, because I think we get so thrown off by pivots, and like this because it doesn't line up to what we thought life was gonna be.
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And like, what are you doing now?
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I thought I was going in this direction, and now I'm like here.
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And can you so I want to hear yours again so the viewers can hear it because especially you know, I don't know, when we're young, we have a lot of zeal to think our life is gonna go a certain way.
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We have dreams and aspirations and all those kind of things.
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And then life takes you on a journey, and you go to places, maybe you have you know, um, doors shut, opportunities shut, um people maybe leave, and you have all these twists and turns, and you don't see that when you're young.
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It's not until you're older that you go, aha, hindsight's always 2020.
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So could you share?
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You went to college for a hit as a history major, right?
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Yeah.
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Can you tell like can you take me back there and then just that timeline that got you where you are today?
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Sure.
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I'm just gonna say from the beginning, I think um, just for the sake of security and privacy, we'll leave out organizational names in this conversation, just yeah, um, and people can we can figure out how to contact later if they want to follow up.
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But um, so growing up, I was going to live next door to my mom.
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That was that's what I wanted to do as a kid.
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And I love that.
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Um, for undergraduate, I chose history because it was my favorite subject in high school.
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My parents did not go to college, so they were like, just go to college.
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And and they did try to encourage me to do something more practical, like maybe teaching history.
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But my sister did teaching and I didn't want to do what she did.
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So um, yeah, so during that undergraduate years, I went to Colorado for um undergraduate, and I did a study abroad.
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I always knew I wanted to.
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Both my sisters did study abroad in high school, and I knew I wanted to do one in college.
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And um I wanted it to include the foreign language requirement for my bachelor's, and I didn't want that foreign language to be Russian, so I ended up going to Egypt.
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Um, and that really changed my life.
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Um, it was just a semester, but it was from that point that I could say this is a driving theme in my life, and it was just being around um Muslims that are so devout and really pursuing God, and that really, first of all, convicted me, but also very much touched me that um from my perspective, they're locked in a spiritual prison and they don't even realize it, like Plato's metaphor of the cave.
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So I came home, uh, graduated college, moved back home to Oregon, lived with my parents, and I did um the perspectives on the world mission movement class through a local church.
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And at the end of that, they challenged us to do a short-term mission trip.
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So the next one our church was doing was to Honduras, and so I did that.
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I was like, okay.
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And this is so God uses really silly things.
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Um, it was during that trip that they had like the host.
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This was a part-time woman who was like retired, but her job was to escort these teams around so that the full-time workers could keep working.
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And she had a nice haircut and good shoes, like fashionable.
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That's all that matters to a woman is good haircut, nice shoes.
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I saw it in my mind that that cross-cultural workers wear moo moo's and work by candlelight, right?
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Isn't it funny how we have these you know perceptions of what a role or or another community would be like, and we're so wrong?
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Even though I had spent significant time in Egypt, I still had this.
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So it wasn't until I saw somebody, I was like, oh, I could do this.
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I'd also the job.
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I was like, I could do that job, and it made it more accessible to me.
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So I came home and I I spent seven years just getting involved in the Portland area with um a group that does like cultural outreach to immigrants in the Capitol Hill area and um English classes, citizenship classes, driving classes, that kind of thing.
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And then um I went to Jordan with a couple from that group, and they were just like, We're going, you want to go with us?
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And I was like, sure.
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So uh we were staying with a family there, and the husband of that family said, If you want to travel the world, get your master's in teaching English as a Sun Hidden language.
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And so both my friend and I ended up doing that, and in I had explored graduate school, but I wasn't quite sure what I what career I wanted to commit to, and I really didn't want to go tens of thousands of dollars into debt for something I wasn't sure about.
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And so another friend had told me, this is like the second best life advice, make don't pay for your own graduate school, make somebody else pay for it.
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And I didn't know what it meant at the time, but this man in Jordan, his name was Paul.
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Paul said, There's uh fellowships or other programs available specifically in this area.
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He worked at a university for many years.
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He said they'll pay for it.
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And so he had been in Egypt at the American University in Cairo, and he said they have this fellowship program.
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You teach in the academic English preparation program, they pay for your tuition and a monthly SIPI, and your plane ticket home.
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So I thought, okay, all I have to come up with is a one-way ticket.
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So I applied and um didn't think I'd get it because he's his daughter, who grew up in Egypt, was also applying.
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And um, but there were 12 slots, and we both got it.
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And um, I actually met my husband when I came home from that trip to Jordan, and our first conversation was me telling him about this trip I just took.
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And so I applied in the meantime.
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April, Jeff and I started dating, and like two weeks later, I was notified that I was awarded the fellowship.
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And so I called him up and I was like, you know, I promised God that I would go to graduate school if he paid for it.
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And maybe I should have applied to somewhere closer to home.
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Um, but at the end of August, I will be going to Egypt.
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Do you still want a date?
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And he said, Well, that's a ways away.
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Let's just see what happens.
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And clearly it worked out.
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We've been married 18 years now.
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Wow.
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So that was a big one.
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And we got married halfway through that program, and he quit his job and came with me to Egypt for the second year of grad school, and that was really good for us relationally, like just such a foundational part of who I am, and he got to have his own experience there.
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And didn't he say something sweet like, You're my dream, I have every what what is it that he said to you?
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I just love to hear those things.
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He says this all the time.
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He said, All I ever wanted to be when I was a kid was a dad.
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And um, he has his own history with relationships, and he just thought he was never gonna get to do that.
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And then he met me, and he's like, You're you're he said, What is this?
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You're the answer to my prayers.
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Like, I I I'm living my dream.
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What more do I need?
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We have four kids.
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I never thought I'd have four kids, but um I didn't think I was gonna have five.
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Yeah, I thought I was gonna have two.
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Yeah, I thought, yeah, three was my thought.
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So, um, so when he was praying about our relationship, like be when I was gone that first year in Egypt, he says, there's like one time in life where the Lord gave him a five-year plan, and this is it.
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He said, The Lord helped him propose over Christmas break when I was coming home, get quit your job, marry Sarah, go with her to Egypt, and then spend two years in preparation for full-time service.
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Wow.
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And we didn't know what full-time service meant.
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Did it mean just continuing to do what I had been doing in the Portland area?
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Did it and just um he was an engineer and so had a good salary, good job.
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Maybe we just live simply, give generously, and and serve our neighbors.
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Uh, maybe it means going cross-cultural.
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And so when we came home from Egypt, I was four months pregnant, and um he got his job back, and we had a new car, and we were like ready to settle.
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The things you crave when you're out of the country.
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I was like, give me Taco Bell.
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Maybe you like Taco Bell that much, but like in my head, this is the thing I missed.
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Sure, nothing for me.
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So we went through about a year, you know, new baby settling in, and then we remembered what the Lord had told him.
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And we're like, oh, a year has passed.
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Maybe we should do something about this.
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So I went back to a group that I had been part of, and we heard a story about a from a friend who had been serving in Tajikistan, and that just prompted us to be like, okay, we need to do something.
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And so we had other friends I had known for a long time.
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We had known them who were serving in a another organization out of Texas.
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And so I went with our nine-month-old son to an event that this organization was holding.
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I didn't realize it was a recruitment event until I got there.
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Um my husband didn't have any vacation time because, again, he'd just restarted his job.
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And so when we went, before I went, our pastor said, Don't sign anything.
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And so my husband spent that week um praying through John Piper's Don't Waste Your Life.
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And I spent that week with a nine-month-old and feeling like, okay, we need to go.
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Like, where do I sign?
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Where do I sign?
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It's really good that and I came home and we were sharing about our weeks, and he had been leaning towards, you know, maybe I just need to stay in the US.
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I have a mom and sister that I would like to be available to care for, um, just some other things.
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And then I told him some of the stories I had heard and how the need and cross-cultural work, it's not money as much as it is people.
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And there are people waiting in places around the world for the help that Christians are willing and able to give.
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And so once he heard that, he said, Yeah, we have to go.
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And I said, Yeah, we do.
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And now um, we've been overseas 12 years now.
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We're we're back and we're like, Yeah, we need people.
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We always need money, right?
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Let's not minimize them.
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That's what keeps us there.
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But we can't we can't have more of an impact without people, and that's really, I mean, that's where we are.
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So we um it took some time.
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We there were bumps in the road, discerning which organization to choose, um, working through those things.
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Because you didn't know at the time, did you like exactly what you were gonna do?
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You just saw you just heard about the need and was just open to go, right?
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Yeah, my husband likes to say we're the why not missionaries.
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Yeah, yeah.
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I mean, he's an engineer.
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I had, you know, teaching English and office work experience, not like neither of one time one of our international pastors asked my husband to preach when he was gonna on a Sunday that was needed a speaker.
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And my husband was like, You don't want me to.
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I cannot preach.
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That's so fun.
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So, you know, we're more administratively minded, uh, and that's eventually what we were recruited to do.
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And so um so we joined an organization, went cross-culturally, and you know, those friends that I was visiting in Dallas, they were serving in this country, and so we thought, uh, you know, the Lord is so gracious because people are like, where are you going?
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Where are you called to?
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And I was like, I don't know that I'm called to any specific place, but I know I don't want malaria pills or to haul my own water.
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I don't want to learn Russian still.
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This is a theme in my life.
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Yeah, I was gonna ask that, so we gotta come back to that.
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Yeah, we will.
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And then um, I wanted to be among Muslims, and so and we had done time in the Middle East and didn't feel like that was the right fit for our family.
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And so our friends were serving in this country that's near Central Asia, and we were like, yeah, that's it, let's go there.
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Never been there before, and um we we arrived, and it was it was a shock.
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Like I had three kids at that point.
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We had done a stint in Canada for some training, and then um, and then off to the Central Asia area.
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So that's how we ended up there.
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Wow.
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Okay, take me into the time you you arrive at this country, it's not America.
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What is that like?
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It's also not Egypt.
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Some of the people we had talked to were like, oh, it's like Egypt, and we're like, no, it's not.
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Where?
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Um well, it's a post-Soviet republic, and so Russian language is very common, especially for people my age and older.
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Like when the Soviet Union fell, I was 11 years old.
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So you could see like a lot of people have childhood associations with the with the Soviet Union.
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Um it was really ugly.
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A lot of concrete.
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Um although our area is not a poor country, and so they're and they've tried to shed the Soviet appearance, and so they've put like in the meantime, even since the time we first arrived, they've put a lot of nice facades on these five-story concrete apartment blocks.
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They've built they've so many international awards for architecture for new construction.
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Um, so it really is a beautiful city, but it's not Oregon.
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Yeah, yeah.
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It's not green.
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No.
00:18:55.359 --> 00:18:58.079
I mean, parts of it are, but the city where we live is not.
00:18:59.519 --> 00:19:11.680
I would just think for anybody, no matter where you're going, and I maybe people who are more international, where the countries are like closer together, they blend in and out of countries easier.
00:19:12.079 --> 00:19:14.960
But I feel like Americans were so American.
00:19:15.279 --> 00:19:22.880
And we just are, you know, but for anybody going from one country to the other, it's a culture shock because you just you know your way.
00:19:23.039 --> 00:19:26.000
And so going over there, that that just had to be a cult.
00:19:26.319 --> 00:19:27.680
You're a mom of three.
00:19:27.759 --> 00:19:32.160
Now you gotta I would think the brain automatically goes to what we do in America.
00:19:32.240 --> 00:19:39.920
You know, like you go to the store, you get this, or you go to the doctor like that, or this is what you do at your home and how you go grocery shopping and all those things.
00:19:40.240 --> 00:19:44.720
Was that similar, or is that really different where you're like, oh yeah, we don't do that here?
00:19:46.400 --> 00:19:55.519
Um, that uh, you know, I think I had lived cross-culturally enough that I kind of understood it's gonna be different.
00:19:56.160 --> 00:20:04.079
Um, I was not emotionally prepared for not having a dishwasher or a clothes dryer.
00:20:04.480 --> 00:20:10.160
So we ended up hiring um house help pretty quickly on.
00:20:10.480 --> 00:20:19.200
And okay, my husband, the engineer, because I was feeling guilty for how many hours we were hiring somebody, and he's like, Sarah, how much does it cost for you to be here?
00:20:19.680 --> 00:20:25.359
And how much does it cost to have someone at the time it was like three dollars an hour?
00:20:25.519 --> 00:20:34.240
And he was like, You don't need to be hanging up laundry, and I was like, Okay, I really don't need to be hanging up laundry when you say it that way.
00:20:34.559 --> 00:20:35.680
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:20:35.920 --> 00:20:40.000
And so that was hard at first.
00:20:40.400 --> 00:20:43.920
Um, also, our living situation was not ideal.
00:20:44.079 --> 00:20:50.000
We were in a shared courtyard with a local family that didn't speak any English.
00:20:50.319 --> 00:20:50.960
Oh, wow.
00:20:51.200 --> 00:20:56.799
And it was their house that they built, and they didn't want anybody else in to fix or clean or anything.
00:20:56.880 --> 00:21:01.920
So there were some other tensions that didn't need to be there, but we didn't know because we were ignorant.
00:21:02.480 --> 00:21:10.559
Um honestly, the bigger culture shock was going from American corporate world to nonprofit.
00:21:10.799 --> 00:21:24.160
Like that was hard, and it continues even now to be frustrating at times, just because I mean, my husband spent 10 years as a consulting engineer, and I did, you know, all the office-y things and teaching.
00:21:25.039 --> 00:21:27.759
This is not the way this is so funny.
00:21:27.920 --> 00:21:29.680
What we're used to is what should be, right?
00:21:29.759 --> 00:21:31.920
We're not this isn't the way things should be done.
00:21:32.480 --> 00:21:33.359
Yeah, yeah.
00:21:33.920 --> 00:21:43.759
We've been in it long enough now that we're like, we can see the reasons why things are the way they are, but also the frustration that people from different uh domains experience when they transfer.
00:21:44.319 --> 00:21:45.599
Yeah, yeah.
00:21:45.839 --> 00:21:50.480
So you get there, and do you immediately know what you're going to be doing?
00:21:50.640 --> 00:21:52.559
Or was that you just had to get there?
00:21:52.960 --> 00:21:55.599
Yeah, they gave us time for language learning, which was super good.
00:21:55.759 --> 00:21:59.680
I had an in home tutor uh for about 10 months, and that was really the like the first.
00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:02.480
Foundation of my language skills.
00:22:05.599 --> 00:22:07.519
You know, it's a common story.
00:22:07.680 --> 00:22:09.279
You know, you talk about how your story is common.
00:22:09.359 --> 00:22:11.680
This is common in cross-cultural work.
00:22:11.920 --> 00:22:12.880
We need people.
00:22:13.440 --> 00:22:15.920
You're here, you're new, you have skills.
00:22:16.160 --> 00:22:22.720
Even though you we told you you get so long for language learning, we really have this need in the work.
00:22:22.799 --> 00:22:24.079
So can you do this?
00:22:24.319 --> 00:22:24.720
Yeah.
00:22:24.960 --> 00:22:28.880
And so my poor husband's language learning time got cut.
00:22:29.440 --> 00:22:33.839
His story is just really terrible because it's just bits and pieces everywhere.
00:22:34.559 --> 00:22:39.359
So we got pulled into the office work too soon.
00:22:39.920 --> 00:22:50.000
And um there was just a lot of unresolved conflict in that group that we weren't just so naive, didn't know about.
00:22:50.720 --> 00:22:54.400
There was also 14 different cultures in that office.
00:22:54.720 --> 00:22:55.359
Oh wow.
00:22:55.519 --> 00:22:57.119
And melting pot?
00:22:58.000 --> 00:23:01.200
No, it's like a it's like a fight ring.
00:23:01.279 --> 00:23:03.680
Like it was a tough work environment.
00:23:03.920 --> 00:23:16.559
Um so but we persevered, and in time, that organization restructured, and so administrative roles were no longer needed in that country.
00:23:16.799 --> 00:23:23.599
And so we were faced with a choice of do we stay with this organization and change countries, or do we change organizations?
00:23:24.720 --> 00:23:28.559
And so we really felt the Lord say, You're not done here yet.
00:23:29.599 --> 00:23:38.559
So we changed, and um yeah, it was just clearly the Lord led us to our current organization, and that was good.
00:23:38.720 --> 00:24:01.119
Um, part of the time working in that office environment, we saw how professional development among nationals happens, and then how um there's a glass ceiling where they can't go past in these um foreign-owned Christ-centered businesses because um, in order to be in that country, it's a creative access place.
00:24:01.200 --> 00:24:09.200
And so, in order to be there, you have to have a work permit or be a director of a company, and so you always the foreigners have the top jobs.
00:24:09.359 --> 00:24:18.160
And so, if you're a talented professional and you want to continue to grow in your profession, which is reasonable, um, you have to change, you have to leave.
00:24:18.240 --> 00:24:20.559
And so that we we didn't feel good about that.
00:24:20.640 --> 00:24:27.759
We thought there has to be a better way um to treat talented national people.
00:24:27.920 --> 00:24:34.559
So that we ended up shifting towards a more business-oriented project with our new organization.
00:24:35.359 --> 00:24:45.920
But the day after we presented our plan to the executive team, um the country, and it was June of 2020, so that was poor time.
00:24:46.400 --> 00:24:56.559
Um, and COVID lockdowns in our country meant you were not allowed to leave your house unless you sent a text to the government and got a permission response.
00:24:56.799 --> 00:25:01.839
And so that was valid for up to at times two or three hours, depending on the way.
00:25:02.240 --> 00:25:05.759
And people here, we were people here were angry that we had to wear a mask.
00:25:06.000 --> 00:25:10.160
You had to send a text to the government one time.
00:25:10.319 --> 00:25:15.920
So people started to game the system because the at first the reply was like instantaneous.
00:25:16.079 --> 00:25:24.160
So what people do is they wouldn't send the text and they'd go out, and then if there was a checkpoint or police around, they would quickly send the text and relaxy.
00:25:24.799 --> 00:25:26.960
So I started doing that.
00:25:27.200 --> 00:25:34.079
Um but then the government wise up to this and they had a delayed response.
00:25:34.400 --> 00:25:43.039
So I'm in the car just on the main road near our house, and they like literally had checkpoints where they would stop traffic and the police would check.
00:25:43.119 --> 00:25:48.960
And I see one coming up, and I had sent my I sent the text message, and then I just left.
00:25:49.039 --> 00:25:51.920
I was like, okay, they'll come back in you know a few minutes.
00:25:52.160 --> 00:25:53.759
I'm sitting there watching my phone.
00:25:53.920 --> 00:25:55.119
It's my turn.
00:25:55.359 --> 00:25:56.400
Oh my goodness.
00:25:56.559 --> 00:25:58.319
I was like, as you see the police.
00:25:58.480 --> 00:26:03.039
As I'm showing the policeman iPhone, the approval comes through, and I was like, oof, made it.
00:26:03.359 --> 00:26:03.839
Oh wow.
00:26:04.079 --> 00:26:08.640
I don't know what the punishment would have been, probably just a fine, but wow.
00:26:10.400 --> 00:26:11.359
So 20.
00:26:11.759 --> 00:26:21.759
Yeah, so the project, the business-oriented project that we tried to start um between COVID, we we pivoted towards online things.
00:26:22.160 --> 00:26:27.359
And then September that year, our country went to war and turned off the internet.
00:26:27.759 --> 00:26:30.160
So that was, we're like, well, okay, that doesn't work.
00:26:30.240 --> 00:26:33.839
And also had martial law, so you had to be in your home by 9 p.m.
00:26:34.240 --> 00:26:43.519
So that means if you want to do anything after work, if people get off work at 6, you can't do, and you want to do like classes or meetings between after work, you just can't.
00:26:43.680 --> 00:26:46.880
I mean, people have to go grocery shopping and do their own life.
00:26:47.039 --> 00:26:56.160
Um so, and then our partners got pregnant with their first baby, and we just we just couldn't keep going.
00:26:56.559 --> 00:27:07.039
Um, part of that plan was an English language business because my background and our partner's background, and we were trying to keep this business afloat.
00:27:07.200 --> 00:27:14.400
This is 2021 in the fall, and trying to find students from anywhere.
00:27:14.640 --> 00:27:27.039
And so our international church had a large uh refugee population, mostly from Afghanistan and Pakistan, and we were offering a good discount to refugees who wanted to learn English to come to our business.
00:27:27.200 --> 00:27:32.559
And so I was doing an intake assessment for a family with four kids, ages 11 to 16.
00:27:32.799 --> 00:27:36.079
And I started with the oldest, and she had great English and worked my way down.
00:27:36.160 --> 00:27:47.359
And I got to the 11-year-old boy, and I realized pretty quickly that he is, if not completely illiterate, awfully close.
00:27:47.440 --> 00:27:49.920
Like I don't know that he had ever been to school.
00:27:50.160 --> 00:27:53.839
And I went home and I asked my husband, I said, What are we doing?
00:27:54.000 --> 00:28:03.119
Like this, we're struggling to keep this business afloat, losing money to help middle class people learn English so they can leave.
00:28:03.599 --> 00:28:12.799
Yeah, during that time, I did share the gospel quite a bit because I had a lot of one-on-one students, like specific types of test preparation.
00:28:13.200 --> 00:28:19.039
So it was a great experience relationally, but just as a project, it was it just wasn't working.
00:28:19.200 --> 00:28:32.400
And so the next few months, we actually had become acquainted with a local pastor who also had a heart for business development within the church.
00:28:32.559 --> 00:28:42.640
And so we were able to introduce him to our supervisor and kind of pass that type of project off to that pastor who could do it much better anyway than we could.
00:28:42.960 --> 00:28:45.359
And so they're doing something now, and it's good.
00:28:45.519 --> 00:28:46.799
I don't know, I don't know the details.
00:28:46.880 --> 00:28:51.440
We have to stay out of that because we don't want to be perceived of as like still being involved.
00:28:51.920 --> 00:28:53.839
The pastor really needs to be on his own.
00:28:54.559 --> 00:29:03.920
Um, but this boy, they were the family were asylum seekers from Pakistan, and um, they hadn't been approved.
00:29:04.079 --> 00:29:10.799
Their case got lost during COVID, and so they had a piece of paper that said, You have a case, it's in process, we'll call you.
00:29:10.960 --> 00:29:12.799
And of course, they never got a call.
00:29:12.960 --> 00:29:20.079
They did consult with a lawyer who said, Well, if you pursue this, you'll be deported, so you're here.
00:29:21.119 --> 00:29:25.759
And we're like, Well, you don't really have permission to be here.
00:29:25.839 --> 00:29:30.400
I mean, kind of sort of, but the law here isn't gonna buy that.
00:29:30.720 --> 00:29:38.000
You don't have permission to go to school or to work or to sign any contracts, like none of the rights of a refugee.
00:29:38.319 --> 00:29:43.839
Um, and so they were just stuck, like hadn't been to school in four years.
00:29:44.319 --> 00:29:47.920
Um, so it took time.
00:29:48.079 --> 00:29:51.279
My husband says, Oh, then we need to start a school.
00:29:51.680 --> 00:29:53.759
I said, no, that's a lot of work.
00:29:54.240 --> 00:30:04.559
Not and but we had some some downtime where um the failure of that first project, I call it a failure.
00:30:04.640 --> 00:30:10.240
It really was just the Lord saying, No, this is what I use this for, and we're gonna shut it down now, pass it off to other people.
00:30:10.480 --> 00:30:14.240
Yeah, but it felt like a personal failure, like we didn't, we weren't able to do it.
00:30:14.480 --> 00:30:20.480
And so I was just kind of down for a few months, um, just kind of re-embracing the mom role.
00:30:20.640 --> 00:30:23.599
I was like, I know how to be a mom, and I'm good at it, and I'm successful.
00:30:23.759 --> 00:30:25.839
I needed something I could feel good about.
00:30:26.160 --> 00:30:39.359
Um, but then I was talking with a friend of mine in May of 2022, and she was a former refugee who had lived with us for uh, I don't know, over a year.
00:30:39.599 --> 00:30:42.160
And she became like a third sister for me.
00:30:42.240 --> 00:30:44.640
She's she's a really special part of our family.
00:30:44.880 --> 00:30:45.119
Wow.
00:30:45.279 --> 00:30:47.200
Um she had migrated to Canada.
00:30:47.440 --> 00:30:58.799
But we were on the phone with her and talking about this thing around refugees and education, and in one breath, she says, Oh my gosh, Sarah, you have to do this.
00:30:58.880 --> 00:31:00.400
It's gonna be so hard.
00:31:00.799 --> 00:31:03.599
I was like, Oh, sign me up.
00:31:03.839 --> 00:31:06.079
Yeah, she was like, This is so needed.
00:31:06.240 --> 00:31:07.519
I thought, okay.
00:31:08.240 --> 00:31:12.559
Um, and so I thought, okay, let's do it.
00:31:12.720 --> 00:31:22.079
And my husband was on the phone with his mom, who um he was just sharing with her kind of these things floating around, and she said, I'm so on.
00:31:22.400 --> 00:31:26.480
She was like, I've more excited about this than anything you guys have ever done before.
00:31:26.640 --> 00:31:28.480
And she's like our number one fan, right?
00:31:28.880 --> 00:31:33.440
So um he came into the kitchen where I was and I said, Let's do it, let's start a school.
00:31:33.519 --> 00:31:35.119
And he was like, What happened?
00:31:35.279 --> 00:31:36.559
Yeah, like yesterday.
00:31:36.720 --> 00:31:37.759
I was like, no.
00:31:38.400 --> 00:31:39.039
Wow.
00:31:39.680 --> 00:31:48.880
Um, and even then, I wasn't convinced that we needed to do something because I thought, surely, since COVID, there's been online resources for this.
00:31:49.039 --> 00:31:56.400
And so I went online and I looked really hard for um and did research about refugees and education.
00:31:56.720 --> 00:32:00.400
And surely there's some kind of online system for refugees to learn.
00:32:00.480 --> 00:32:01.759
And there's just not.
00:32:02.000 --> 00:32:17.279
Um, there, I mean, there might be now, and and there were things that looked promising, but they were so um contextualized to a certain area or a certain school, or it was a combined in-person, it just wasn't what I was looking for.
00:32:17.839 --> 00:32:21.359
And so I was like, okay, let's start our school.
00:32:22.400 --> 00:32:30.720
And our organization was so gentle with us, they we said, can we just experiment?
00:32:31.039 --> 00:32:40.799
Like, we don't need project funds, we don't need, we just want to just put some of our own money, it wasn't a lot, just into buying some software and let's just experiment.
00:32:40.960 --> 00:32:45.440
So for over a year, we just tried different things.
00:32:45.599 --> 00:32:53.279
Um, you know, I have a degree in teaching English, but I don't, I'm not really like an educator, like a K-12 or an administrator, things like that.
00:32:53.359 --> 00:32:55.119
I don't have experience working in a school.
00:32:55.359 --> 00:33:02.000
So, and my husband is an engineer, like we are not professional educators or weren't, we are now.
00:33:02.160 --> 00:33:07.440
Um it was just you just simply saw the need and we're like, we gotta do something.
00:33:07.680 --> 00:33:15.680
Yeah, and you know, I don't know, some people have different opinions on the Enneagram, but I'm a one, and so I'm like the champion, let's change the world.
00:33:17.119 --> 00:33:19.839
I couldn't that makes sense now, yeah.
00:33:20.319 --> 00:33:23.039
I could hear in your story, I'm like, yeah, you sure are.
00:33:23.359 --> 00:33:24.960
I couldn't say no to these kids.
00:33:25.039 --> 00:33:36.799
I have a son who's the same age as that boy who was illiterate, and my son was reading Harry Potter, like and and Lord of the Rings, and you know, I just thought, why?
00:33:36.960 --> 00:33:38.799
How can this exist in the world?
00:33:38.960 --> 00:33:41.519
And I was actually just looking up more statistics.
00:33:41.759 --> 00:33:47.119
In Pakistan, there's over 25 million unschooled children today.
00:33:47.359 --> 00:33:48.319
Oh wow.
00:33:48.720 --> 00:34:00.079
Um, 53% of refugee children are not in school, and um, and it even goes lower once you get to secondary, like 24% of refugee children are enrolled in secondary education.
00:34:00.400 --> 00:34:00.720
Wow.
00:34:01.039 --> 00:34:05.599
And um, so we just started with the people we knew around us.
00:34:05.920 --> 00:34:12.000
And the the this first family though, they weren't even refugees, they couldn't even get nothing.
00:34:12.320 --> 00:34:26.239
So we were that summer, um, after you know, after that May moment, this same family, I had the the mom and the oldest, who was a daughter, she was 16, maybe 17 by then, I don't know.
00:34:26.480 --> 00:34:38.000
They came over to our house and we said, you know, we don't know if we can, but if we were to do something that would help people like you get an education, would you be interested?
00:34:38.159 --> 00:34:41.199
And we had to sit there and wait while she broke down in tears.
00:34:41.760 --> 00:34:49.840
This girl was so desperate for an education, and even now she is one of our hardest charging students.
00:34:50.000 --> 00:34:52.480
She was the one who was like, Miss Sarah, can we start yet?
00:34:52.639 --> 00:34:53.599
Miss Sarah, can we start yet?
00:34:53.760 --> 00:34:54.800
I'm like, no, we can't.
00:34:54.880 --> 00:34:56.639
I don't have anything to do yet.
00:34:56.960 --> 00:34:58.639
But she really persevered with us.
00:34:58.719 --> 00:35:00.320
They were our test case on like everything.
00:35:00.400 --> 00:35:03.119
They've done so many things to help us learn and grow.
00:35:03.199 --> 00:35:04.079
And yeah.
00:35:05.039 --> 00:35:05.599
Wow.
00:35:05.840 --> 00:35:07.760
So you started with those four.
00:35:08.159 --> 00:35:08.559
Uh-huh.
00:35:08.800 --> 00:35:12.559
And then a couple other refugee families that we knew through church.
00:35:13.360 --> 00:35:18.320
And um, we ended up, there's also one family.
00:35:18.400 --> 00:35:24.400
So we had these two Afghan families that we knew just as friends, and we said, Would you be interested in having your kids study with us?
00:35:24.559 --> 00:35:30.639
And they were, um, their kids are we call it dual enrolled because they are official UN refugees.
00:35:30.719 --> 00:35:34.320
And in order to keep that status, their kids have to go to school.
00:35:35.039 --> 00:35:48.880
But the school system, it could be a good experience, but for many it's very abusive, both from the teachers and administrators and the other students and families.
00:35:49.119 --> 00:35:51.679
Um it really depends on the teacher.
00:35:51.840 --> 00:36:00.480
Like one of the students had a great teacher and had a great experience, but others, in most cases, they just get ignored and passed along.
00:36:00.559 --> 00:36:03.519
Um, and sometimes it's not not good at all.
00:36:03.840 --> 00:36:12.960
So, you know, uh 75% of refugees are in, they flee to what's close to them.
00:36:13.119 --> 00:36:22.880
So it's middle or low economic uh status countries that don't have the resources to help students like this, who don't know the language, don't know the culture, have missing school years.
00:36:23.119 --> 00:36:28.960
So they just get put in the school system because they need to be, but they don't really learn.
00:36:29.280 --> 00:36:35.119
Even in the best case scenario with a good teacher and nice classmates, because of those other issues, right?
00:36:35.280 --> 00:36:37.599
They you can't learn when you don't understand the language.
00:36:37.760 --> 00:36:45.920
Well, yeah, and not only that, you know, I remember, I don't know, last couple years my daughter was reading a book, I forget the name of the book, my 25-year-old daughter, and um, it was all about teens.
00:36:46.719 --> 00:37:06.000
But uh and it was one of the things she was reading, and and told me it was the number one thing that teens, what is it, the number one thing teens want to know or what they look for in I I don't know, it's if who they engage with or what they belong to is they want to know that they belong.
00:37:06.159 --> 00:37:11.119
And so to gosh, I always I always try to put myself in other people's shoes.
00:37:11.280 --> 00:37:14.159
Like, what is life, what would life be like in your shoes?
00:37:14.400 --> 00:37:21.519
Having to do this, to be presented with a family that you just you can see the need, and like I don't know what to do, but we'll figure it out.
00:37:21.840 --> 00:37:32.159
And then you put yourself in these children's the parents who flee for a better life or just safety for their kids, and then they go off to school where kids want to belong.
00:37:32.239 --> 00:37:41.280
We all want to belong, but children want to belong, and to be surrounded, I think one of the saddest things for a human is to be around people and yet feel so alone.
00:37:41.760 --> 00:37:50.800
And so for these kids who are they're outcast from their country, they're outcast when they go to a new country, they're outcast from you know, they don't belong anywhere.
00:37:50.880 --> 00:37:54.000
And so what that does to the soul is just like wow.
00:37:54.320 --> 00:38:04.960
So we realized very quickly, very quickly, that our school has to be more than just an education, more than facts and reading and math and whatnot.
00:38:05.199 --> 00:38:13.760
Um, we ended up um reaching out to a formal education organization that helped us a lot with with the school stuff.
00:38:14.000 --> 00:38:20.719
Um, but both of so our school is a joint project between these our primary organization and our secondary one.
00:38:21.119 --> 00:38:29.679
But both organizations have really helped us with understanding trauma and how it impacts the brain and how it impacts learning.
00:38:29.760 --> 00:38:32.559
Uh, and we've done our own research on a lot of things.
00:38:32.800 --> 00:38:37.760
And the number one thing is making a safe space, like you can't learn everything.
00:38:38.800 --> 00:38:48.000
And so we have a daily, so our school is um we call it a hybrid school, but it's not hybrid by most Western definitions.
00:38:48.639 --> 00:39:03.360
Most of the learning is online with a flip model, so we use software where the kids learn the stuff, and then we meet online um to do reteaching or tutoring, and then we try to have where where we are located, we try to have in-person things.
00:39:03.440 --> 00:39:06.800
Like we did an art class that was really fun and some other things.
00:39:07.119 --> 00:39:20.480
Um, but we have a daily online homeroom class, and we do a devotion, we do a mindfulness activity, um, we do study skills, but like for our type of school.
00:39:20.559 --> 00:39:21.920
Like, how do you know what you need to do?
00:39:22.000 --> 00:39:23.039
How do you ask for help?
00:39:23.199 --> 00:39:25.199
What do you do when your brain is foggy?
00:39:25.280 --> 00:39:30.960
What do you do when you're at your public school and you feel certain ways?
00:39:31.039 --> 00:39:32.800
Like we just have a lot of things like that.
00:39:32.880 --> 00:39:34.239
And so just different things.
00:39:34.320 --> 00:39:36.719
Like one girl's like, What do I do at school?
00:39:36.800 --> 00:39:38.960
And I was like, Well, can you go to the bathroom?
00:39:39.039 --> 00:39:40.159
And she said, Yes.
00:39:40.320 --> 00:39:41.760
I said, Is the water cold?
00:39:41.920 --> 00:39:43.440
Oh, yes, it's freezing.
00:39:43.599 --> 00:39:57.840
I said, put it on your wrists, just hold your wrists under the cold water for 30 seconds, and it like, I don't understand it because I'm not a therapist or whatever, but it like resets your body, and so and it helps your brain clear.
00:39:58.000 --> 00:40:03.280
So we've learned a lot about polyvagal stuff and other things, yeah.
00:40:03.440 --> 00:40:19.519
So it's been really interesting, and one, so we started with these two Afghan families and the one Pakistani family, and the two Afghans came to us and they said, you know, we have this friend, and it would be really good if she could join the school too, her two kids.
00:40:19.679 --> 00:40:26.079
And we were like, Well, we just really want to get the model down with a small group, like, you know, start small, feel small, kind of thing.
00:40:26.719 --> 00:40:34.960
But then they came back a week later and they're like, we're all in a Bible study together, and it's really awkward for us if two of us are involved in this, one isn't.
00:40:35.039 --> 00:40:36.800
So we said, okay, sure.
00:40:37.119 --> 00:40:44.960
And um that they have two kids, one of them was an 11-year-old girl, and we were working with her.
00:40:45.039 --> 00:40:47.920
We do these intake tests, and her math scores were all over.
00:40:48.000 --> 00:41:06.960
And so my husband sat with her a long time and tried to figure out what is going on, and he was even looking into like math learning disabilities, and um, he eventually figured out that she couldn't count, like she could count until 20 reliably, 100 was hit and miss, and he tried in three languages.
00:41:07.280 --> 00:41:27.440
Um, but she couldn't count, had no concept of the base 10 numbering system, and so he worked with her like every day for a year, and we had an ice cream social at um at the end of that first year with all the parents and families, and the dad came up to my husband and said, I'm not worried about my son, he'll be fine.
00:41:27.519 --> 00:41:29.039
But how is how is my daughter?
00:41:29.519 --> 00:41:31.599
You know, because she's a sweet dad.
00:41:31.760 --> 00:41:35.679
And and Jeff said, you know, I don't know.
00:41:36.000 --> 00:41:41.519
She's doing better, but I I don't know how she will how it'll turn out.
00:41:42.639 --> 00:41:46.480
So that was last summer.
00:41:46.639 --> 00:41:47.280
I don't remember.
00:41:47.519 --> 00:41:48.320
I don't remember.
00:41:48.639 --> 00:41:52.719
Yeah, that was yeah, last summer.
00:41:53.039 --> 00:41:58.480
And this end of year, she tested at sixth grade level.
00:41:58.800 --> 00:41:59.440
Wow.
00:41:59.760 --> 00:42:02.480
And you know, can't counting, that's kindergarten.
00:42:02.719 --> 00:42:10.239
She just put in the work, and I think what happened is she's still getting instruction at her in-person school, right?
00:42:10.480 --> 00:42:21.360
Um, so I think what happened is once she had that foundation of what to do, it like opened her up so that she could experience learning in her public school.
00:42:21.760 --> 00:42:23.760
So it was really encouraging to see that.
00:42:23.840 --> 00:42:25.679
And just the heart that these parents have.
00:42:25.840 --> 00:42:26.559
That's my husband.
00:42:26.639 --> 00:42:28.960
He's like, the kids are are important.
00:42:29.199 --> 00:42:30.880
He's like, I just feel for the parents.
00:42:31.119 --> 00:42:41.280
Yeah, because they're yeah, you're most parents, you know, if they're healthy, want the best for their children, you know, and they just they they want their kids to go above and beyond what they ever did.
00:42:41.360 --> 00:42:43.440
And um, yeah, I would feel the same way.
00:42:43.760 --> 00:42:46.800
So we ended up through these families.
00:42:47.039 --> 00:42:56.320
I don't know if many people remember, we do because we were there, but um, Pakistan and Afghanistan, they kind of have a not great relationship.
00:42:56.559 --> 00:43:07.440
And at one point, Pakistan said, We're going to deport, it was like 2.1 million Afghans back to Afghanistan.
00:43:07.679 --> 00:43:10.880
Refugees who've been there some since like the 70s.
00:43:11.199 --> 00:43:11.599
Wow.
00:43:11.840 --> 00:43:14.239
Or maybe it was more than that, it was a lot of people.
00:43:14.480 --> 00:43:20.880
Um, and so we reached, we asked our Afghan friends, do you know anybody that you know maybe they need help?
00:43:21.039 --> 00:43:22.159
And they said, no, they don't.
00:43:22.239 --> 00:43:22.880
They're they're okay.
00:43:22.960 --> 00:43:24.559
Yeah, we know people, but they're okay.
00:43:24.800 --> 00:43:26.960
But we have family in Afghanistan.
00:43:27.039 --> 00:43:28.320
Could they join?
00:43:28.880 --> 00:43:32.639
And so we were like, well, okay.
00:43:34.239 --> 00:43:37.280
So we ended up with students in Afghanistan.
00:43:37.519 --> 00:43:46.880
And one girl in particular, you listened to her speech, um, but she one of the first questions you know, we always tell people we are Christian.
00:43:47.119 --> 00:43:51.920
Um, the curriculum we have happens to be Christian, not because we want it.
00:43:52.000 --> 00:43:55.760
Well, we did want it, but mostly it was accessible to us and we could use it.
00:43:56.079 --> 00:43:59.599
Um, but the school is not Christian.
00:44:00.320 --> 00:44:04.559
And you don't have to be Christian to come, and there's no expectation that you will change.
00:44:04.719 --> 00:44:07.199
Like it's just this is a need.
00:44:07.360 --> 00:44:11.280
And so we have that conversation with every family.
00:44:11.519 --> 00:44:14.880
And so this family in Afghanistan said, Yes.
00:44:15.119 --> 00:44:22.000
And what happened is there were five brothers, and the oldest got an education, and so did his kids, like university level.
00:44:22.320 --> 00:44:24.000
And the younger ones didn't.
00:44:24.159 --> 00:44:27.840
And this is actually normal, all the resources usually go to the oldest son.
00:44:29.519 --> 00:44:33.760
And they saw how much better his life was and his children's life.
00:44:33.920 --> 00:44:38.320
And they said, Yes, an education is important, even for my daughters.
00:44:38.639 --> 00:44:46.000
And so in 2022, the Taliban um gosh, was it 22?
00:44:46.079 --> 00:44:46.639
Yeah, I think so.
00:44:46.719 --> 00:44:48.079
I might have my dates wrong.
00:44:48.400 --> 00:44:52.159
They stopped school for girls past sixth grade.
00:44:52.400 --> 00:45:00.079
And so um, and so the speech that our student wrote was called The Last Day We Thought Was Temporary.
00:45:00.239 --> 00:45:04.480
And she was in seventh grade on the day they turned in their books and went home.
00:45:05.199 --> 00:45:11.920
And she, one of the first questions in her Bible course was, How do you know God is real?
00:45:12.159 --> 00:45:19.119
And she said, I know God is real because I prayed for a year to be able to study, and now I'm studying again online.
00:45:20.639 --> 00:45:30.159
And one of the these two families who we were in in our city who we asked, Do you know anybody who needs education in Afghanistan?
00:45:30.480 --> 00:45:38.000
One of them said to me, She said, Our family know that we're Christian and they've heard the gospel many times, but this shows them the love of Jesus.
00:45:39.280 --> 00:45:45.760
And that's just really encouraging because that's why we do it.
00:45:45.920 --> 00:45:52.000
So many people are like, oh, all Americans are so nice, you know, Americans are nice, they have this view of Americans.
00:45:52.559 --> 00:45:57.280
And then you talk with them and you realize all the Americans they know are missionaries.
00:45:58.719 --> 00:46:01.199
And you're like, well, not all Americans.
00:46:01.440 --> 00:46:01.679
Yeah.
00:46:02.480 --> 00:46:09.840
So for our students to see through the niceness to really see that it's God's love is really important to us.
00:46:09.920 --> 00:46:14.320
And we tell them, we say, we do this because God told us to, and He loves you.
00:46:14.559 --> 00:46:21.679
Um, on our own, we don't have this ability to love you like this, and so that just has to be so fulfilling.
00:46:22.960 --> 00:46:29.679
Like, you know, it's it uh and it's not to diminish helping somebody, you know, somebody needs help, go help them.
00:46:30.000 --> 00:46:32.960
And your story is one see the need, fill it.
00:46:33.119 --> 00:46:41.280
I mean, that it really is if you sum up our coffee, it was your entire story.
00:46:41.360 --> 00:46:47.840
It was like, oh yeah, and then this family had a need, so we filled it in this need, and it was just that has to be so fulfilling.
00:46:47.920 --> 00:46:54.880
I so I listened to that uh tears treating like what bravery.
00:46:55.119 --> 00:46:56.800
We don't know that kind of life.
00:46:57.199 --> 00:46:59.840
So to step into this girl's shoes, she's how old?
00:47:00.159 --> 00:47:00.880
17.
00:47:01.119 --> 00:47:07.519
So a 17-year-old girl created this uh it had to be a speech for the end of the year before they turned everything in.
00:47:08.239 --> 00:47:10.880
It was just um an eighth-grade language arts assignment.
00:47:11.119 --> 00:47:14.800
Yeah, I I it caught me by surprise when she sent me the text.
00:47:14.960 --> 00:47:17.840
I was like, oh, this is really touching and powerful.
00:47:18.639 --> 00:47:39.360
Just to just as a girl, um they're not allowed to be educated, and you know, all of that is we don't know that kind of life, and and yet just providing her with the opportunity to learn what that's it's really what you've given kids, I think, is in families is hope.
00:47:39.760 --> 00:47:45.519
Because what what what I hear in all the stories, and you said it during the coffee too, was they had such desperation.
00:47:45.840 --> 00:48:00.719
Yeah, one thing that she said in her speech is she said she asks the question what kind of society requires girls to be silent to survive?
00:48:02.320 --> 00:48:26.480
And my husband and I have thought about that, and we thought, this is who we're serving, those who kind of shrink into themselves and kind of try to fly under the radar to survive, whether they are refugees um or girls in Afghanistan, or we now have students in Pakistan because some of our students were deported.
00:48:26.559 --> 00:48:33.519
That family of four kids, they were deported, and we told them take your computers and come back to school, and they all did.
00:48:34.000 --> 00:48:47.440
Um, and another family was in a similar situation, and so I think being seen is really, really important.
00:48:47.920 --> 00:48:59.840
So much of what we do, we can't fix, and we tell the students you may not ask for money, we will not help with getting a job, we will not help with immigration, we do education.
00:49:00.000 --> 00:49:01.599
That's our that's our thing.
00:49:01.920 --> 00:49:02.559
Yeah.
00:49:03.199 --> 00:49:13.440
But when but um one of our students actually who ended up having to leave and go back to Pakistan, he had muscular dystrophy and he ended up passing away.
00:49:14.000 --> 00:49:29.119
And one of our other students, when I shared it with them, um, she wrote a poem, and his mom like hand wrote it out on poster board and put it up at the in front of the podium at his funeral service, and she sent me a picture.
00:49:30.000 --> 00:49:35.920
And on the top of it, it says, His friend wrote this.
00:49:36.320 --> 00:49:51.280
And this boy, who was a shut-in, because he was wheelchair bound and they were poor, um was seen and he was known, and he brought a lot of joy to our school for the time he was there.
00:49:51.599 --> 00:50:01.119
But I think that's the gift, and even this girl's speech where she she says, girls, boys can make mistakes, but girls are punished for them.
00:50:01.840 --> 00:50:12.239
And she just she sees it around her, and she she says, Sometimes resistance is just enduring, is keeping going.
00:50:12.719 --> 00:50:13.920
And I thought, yeah.
00:50:14.320 --> 00:50:24.400
And so when we see people and acknowledge them that they are in God's image, they are just as valuable as our own kids.
00:50:24.639 --> 00:50:32.159
Like that was the thing that struck me in that very first meeting with that 11-year-old, is I thought, this could be my child.
00:50:32.719 --> 00:50:35.440
He's funny, he likes anime, he likes video games.
00:50:35.599 --> 00:50:38.239
Like, he's an 11-year-old boy, right?
00:50:38.800 --> 00:50:44.400
And yet, just because of the circumstances, he um he's in this situation.
00:50:44.559 --> 00:50:46.480
I was talking with that girl in Afghanistan.
00:50:46.559 --> 00:50:49.519
You know, we talk about the homeroom where we do mindfulness activities.
00:50:49.599 --> 00:50:54.079
We were talking about emotions, and she said, Well, what do you do if you don't feel any emotions?
00:50:54.719 --> 00:50:56.880
And I said, Well, let's talk about that later.
00:50:57.039 --> 00:50:58.159
And so we did.
00:50:58.800 --> 00:51:07.199
And I basically, like in my own life, I've had times where I'm emotionally numb, and our care department will meet with them, they're like, Yeah, this is a problem.
00:51:07.280 --> 00:51:08.400
You're close to burnout.
00:51:08.559 --> 00:51:12.400
So they, you know, walking through how to not burn out.
00:51:12.639 --> 00:51:18.800
And so I just shared some of those things with her that she could do in her house, things like put your feet on the bare earth, right?
00:51:18.880 --> 00:51:26.960
That has a thing, or close your eyes and visualize yourself in a place that's relaxing and refreshing, like the beach or the forest or wherever.
00:51:27.280 --> 00:51:34.800
Um, so I shared some of those things with her, and at the end I told her, I said, you know, it's not an accident that you are born a girl.
00:51:35.039 --> 00:51:39.519
It's not an accident that you were born in Afghanistan and that you have your family.
00:51:39.840 --> 00:51:41.760
God has a plan for you.
00:51:42.480 --> 00:51:44.719
This is this is not an accident.
00:51:45.679 --> 00:51:51.280
And just this summer, she's our she's another one of those students that just keeps going and pushing us.
00:51:51.440 --> 00:51:58.719
I was catching up on grading some of her things, and she did a unit in language arts about propaganda and critical reading.
00:51:59.119 --> 00:52:05.599
And the question prompt was um, write one thing that you've heard or read that is true.
00:52:05.920 --> 00:52:08.559
And she wrote, God has a plan for me.
00:52:09.119 --> 00:52:11.760
I was like, Oh, she got it.
00:52:12.000 --> 00:52:21.599
So yeah, it's seeing people and just sitting with them and hearing their story just means so much for both of us, really.
00:52:21.760 --> 00:52:25.679
But yeah, what still needs to be done over there?
00:52:25.920 --> 00:52:28.960
Because you've like you you've been doing this school for how long now?
00:52:29.280 --> 00:52:30.320
Three years now.
00:52:30.719 --> 00:52:31.519
Three years.
00:52:31.760 --> 00:52:32.239
Wow.
00:52:32.480 --> 00:52:37.280
So, what are some of the things that you know you you've learned some things?
00:52:37.599 --> 00:52:40.400
Um where's the need?
00:52:41.280 --> 00:52:42.800
People, we need people.
00:52:44.639 --> 00:52:49.360
You know, when I when I tell people come join us, they're like, Oh, I could never do that.
00:52:49.760 --> 00:52:53.679
I never thought I could sell my house and my car and pick up my family.
00:52:53.840 --> 00:52:56.400
Um, but what is God telling you to do?
00:52:56.639 --> 00:52:58.719
Even if it's scary, do that.
00:52:59.039 --> 00:53:05.760
Like, um we when before we left, we were in Tiger, had a great house, great life, great everything.
00:53:05.840 --> 00:53:09.440
I was like literally super close to my mom's house.
00:53:09.840 --> 00:53:16.719
And um we we really felt the Lord say, I will bless you if you go, and I will bless you if you stay.
00:53:17.199 --> 00:53:22.400
And so, you know, the Lord is concerned with our hearts.
00:53:23.039 --> 00:53:28.639
But I thought, I kind of can guess my life if I stay here, it will be a blessing.
00:53:28.800 --> 00:53:35.119
There will be lots of good things, lots of I kind of can know what's gonna happen, you know, generally.
00:53:35.440 --> 00:53:35.920
Sure.
00:53:36.400 --> 00:53:43.119
But if I don't go, then I don't know what I'm missing out on.
00:53:43.519 --> 00:53:49.920
Like there's there's experiences that I will never have that I will miss.
00:53:50.000 --> 00:53:51.280
Like I won't even know to miss them.
00:53:51.360 --> 00:53:54.960
And now that we've done it, I'm like, yeah, I wouldn't trade this for anything.
00:53:55.199 --> 00:54:04.800
And I feel like when God puts something on your heart, whether it's helping in your neighborhood or your neighbors or the homeless or whatever it is, do it.
00:54:05.280 --> 00:54:11.519
Like I love people who do what God tells them to do because it doesn't make any sense.
00:54:12.400 --> 00:54:13.599
Yeah, usually it doesn't.
00:54:13.760 --> 00:54:20.159
And there's like and and it's usually not something that's even in your natural gifting or strength.
00:54:20.400 --> 00:54:20.639
Yeah.
00:54:20.800 --> 00:54:21.599
That's what I found.
00:54:21.920 --> 00:54:24.639
So yeah, it's really, it's really fun.
00:54:24.880 --> 00:54:29.920
So, you know, if people feel the call to go cross-culturally, explore it.
00:54:30.480 --> 00:54:34.559
Um, it's never like one day you decide and the next day you leave.
00:54:34.719 --> 00:54:37.119
It's there's it's a it's a process.
00:54:37.360 --> 00:54:38.719
So just trust the process.
00:54:39.039 --> 00:54:40.800
It's not something there to be confirmed.
00:54:41.039 --> 00:54:44.239
Yeah, so you say that they you need people, people to do what?
00:54:44.480 --> 00:54:49.360
Like to join us on the field or to volunteer from here.
00:54:49.840 --> 00:54:51.519
Um, we had tutors.
00:54:51.760 --> 00:54:54.719
Uh, this last year we tried out some online tutors.
00:54:54.880 --> 00:55:00.320
Two of them were based out of the northwest, and one of them happened to be a Scottish lady who lived in our city.
00:55:00.639 --> 00:55:01.039
Wow.
00:55:01.360 --> 00:55:06.559
And they just would they just watch the kids do the apps and answer questions.
00:55:06.800 --> 00:55:09.039
It's not a complicated thing.
00:55:09.199 --> 00:55:17.199
Um, but one girl, the girl in Pakistan who cried on our couch, she we were talking with her a few weeks ago, and she's like, we asked her, How's the tutoring going?
00:55:17.360 --> 00:55:25.679
She has a math tutor, and she's like, it's really good because um basically it's positive pressure to do the work, it's accountability.
00:55:25.840 --> 00:55:28.079
She's like, I know she's gonna ask me about it.
00:55:28.159 --> 00:55:31.280
And this girl, her life, this last year, they were deported.
00:55:31.679 --> 00:55:41.039
Her after a time in detention, they were deported, and then her father passed away, and then she got a full-time job to support the family in a call center.
00:55:41.199 --> 00:55:50.079
She assured me it's not a scam center, and then um, and she's figuring out how do I keep doing school while I'm working full-time.
00:55:50.880 --> 00:55:57.199
So, and and the tutor is a positive reinforcement to keep doing that.
00:55:57.440 --> 00:56:08.559
So, um, and there's just a variety of things we need help with that could be done from here, but um, also people on the ground, whether short-term, long-term, whatever, mid-term, whatever.
00:56:08.800 --> 00:56:09.199
Yeah.
00:56:09.440 --> 00:56:10.079
Yeah.
00:56:10.400 --> 00:56:12.159
So you're back here for how long?
00:56:12.400 --> 00:56:15.760
Um, until uh third week in August, and then we'll go back.
00:56:16.000 --> 00:56:16.480
Um yeah.
00:56:16.719 --> 00:56:18.719
Are you itching to go back?
00:56:19.440 --> 00:56:20.159
Oh gosh.
00:56:20.320 --> 00:56:28.079
I would think that there's a it we I would be so torn because you get to see your family and stuff here, but then you they they become like your family there, right?
00:56:28.239 --> 00:56:32.559
And the kids who are there and it's really hard to have two lives.
00:56:32.719 --> 00:56:34.320
It's really what it feels like.
00:56:34.400 --> 00:56:35.679
Um, it's so hard.
00:56:35.840 --> 00:56:39.039
You know, at first we thought, well, maybe we could just run the school from America.
00:56:39.119 --> 00:56:39.920
Why not?
00:56:40.639 --> 00:56:46.079
It has been so hard to connect with our students over the summer, and we we cut it off, like right.
00:56:46.159 --> 00:56:48.559
We're like, we don't have we're not doing school during the summer.
00:56:48.639 --> 00:56:50.480
We need have other things we need to do.
00:56:50.719 --> 00:56:56.159
But there are a few students we need to connect with, and we're trying to onboard new students so they're ready in the fall.
00:56:56.320 --> 00:57:00.400
And just the time difference has been so hard.
00:57:00.960 --> 00:57:03.840
What's the so it's gonna be like 10?
00:57:04.320 --> 00:57:10.639
It's 11 to 13 and a half hour time difference from where we are here in Oregon.
00:57:10.880 --> 00:57:11.360
Wow.
00:57:11.599 --> 00:57:15.280
So it's like, I don't really want to work a graveyard shift online.
00:57:15.360 --> 00:57:17.199
Like that sounds like misery, doesn't it?
00:57:17.519 --> 00:57:17.840
Yeah.
00:57:18.000 --> 00:57:20.800
Um, but we also need donors.
00:57:20.960 --> 00:57:25.119
I mean, I work for a nonprofit, and that's always a need, always a need.
00:57:25.280 --> 00:57:30.239
So even though the Lord called us to be the ones who go, we thought maybe we'll just give generously.
00:57:30.480 --> 00:57:36.320
Um God told us, nope, you can go, so we do.
00:57:37.360 --> 00:57:40.079
But it's interesting this time.
00:57:40.880 --> 00:57:43.760
You know, our whole career has been fundraising.
00:57:43.920 --> 00:57:46.559
It's part of it, it's just part of the package.
00:57:47.360 --> 00:57:58.000
Um it's interesting to see the ebbs and flows of giving over the years and over the kind of trends.
00:57:58.159 --> 00:58:03.039
Um, it seems like people are more focused now locally.
00:58:03.199 --> 00:58:08.079
There's a lot of local needs, and that's you know, like I said, if God's calling you to do that, then do it.
00:58:08.159 --> 00:58:12.800
We've had one partner who said, You guys are doing great work, but I just can't ignore the needs in my neighborhood anymore.
00:58:12.880 --> 00:58:15.119
So I sure stop giving.
00:58:15.360 --> 00:58:18.400
And I appreciate that because she was doing what the Lord told her to do.
00:58:18.639 --> 00:58:18.960
Yeah.
00:58:19.280 --> 00:58:26.079
Um but the big international aid organizations, we're not the size that they want.
00:58:26.159 --> 00:58:32.800
And we're not, you know, the bureaucracy that exists has failed these kids, these millions and millions of kids.
00:58:33.039 --> 00:58:40.239
And so, like, we're friends with one an ambassador from our international church, and I was talking with him about this, and he was like, Well, this is the solution.
00:58:40.480 --> 00:58:50.000
Of course, coming from a government, he's looking at like governmental level solutions, and I'm like, that's already failing them.
00:58:50.079 --> 00:58:51.280
Like, even, yeah.
00:58:51.519 --> 00:58:56.000
So we're just trying to find a new path for education, and it is hard to fund it.
00:58:56.960 --> 00:58:57.599
Yeah.
00:58:58.960 --> 00:59:01.119
Yeah, so you're always you're always in need of help.
00:59:01.280 --> 00:59:08.079
Well, and I would think you mean you and you never run out of children because they're you know, there ones go off and and new ones come in.
00:59:08.159 --> 00:59:11.199
Because you started with a family of four, and you're up to how many kids?
00:59:11.599 --> 00:59:17.440
Well, we started with I don't know, about 15 maybe.
00:59:18.159 --> 00:59:20.159
Um, this last year we had 30.
00:59:20.400 --> 00:59:26.079
Um, but again, like one family, they got sponsored and immigrated to Canada.
00:59:26.320 --> 00:59:33.519
So we continue to be in touch with them and help them as they want help, but um, they're mostly in the new system now.
00:59:33.760 --> 00:59:39.280
There's a lot of resources for settled refugees in in the developed world.
00:59:39.440 --> 00:59:40.400
There just are.
00:59:40.559 --> 00:59:46.800
Um, for families in displacement who have fled their country but aren't yet settled permanently.
00:59:47.119 --> 00:59:51.039
That time period is on average 10 to 21 years.
00:59:52.079 --> 00:59:53.119
Oh my word.
00:59:54.239 --> 00:59:57.519
Yeah, and there's not a lot of resources for them.
00:59:58.239 --> 01:00:05.119
So they basically live because they don't fall into any one slot in life.
01:00:05.920 --> 01:00:09.519
How do they they're waiting for settlement?
01:00:10.159 --> 01:00:12.480
That that time of displacement is waiting.
01:00:12.559 --> 01:00:16.320
It's like living in limbo, and it's hard, it's really hard.
01:00:16.800 --> 01:00:18.480
So a family leaves a country.
01:00:18.559 --> 01:00:22.880
This game, probably very ignorant American of me, but I don't live in this world.
01:00:23.280 --> 01:00:38.159
I learned because you well, you hear about it, and you hear they leave and they go somewhere, and you know, if there's help, there's helps, and you just you don't think much more about it because it's not in our daily world necessarily.
01:00:38.320 --> 01:00:39.440
That they are around us.
01:00:39.519 --> 01:00:40.639
I don't want to ignore that.
01:00:40.960 --> 01:00:45.280
I just don't know it as far as what they go through in a daily life.
01:00:46.320 --> 01:00:52.239
But the for the ones who they don't get the settlement, they have to wait 10 to 21 years.
01:00:52.400 --> 01:00:56.320
These groups of people, and there's millions of them, you said.
01:00:57.440 --> 01:01:03.679
And it's people like you who will take the time to then educate them because they're human, so it meets just like we do.
01:01:03.920 --> 01:01:04.239
Yeah.
01:01:04.400 --> 01:01:08.159
So education happens um through camps.
01:01:08.400 --> 01:01:12.559
Like there are refugee camps um in certain places.
01:01:12.800 --> 01:01:17.039
I think the biggest one is in oh goodness, I just read this in Africa.
01:01:17.119 --> 01:01:18.239
I don't remember exactly where.
01:01:18.559 --> 01:01:19.599
Congo, maybe.
01:01:19.760 --> 01:01:23.280
Um, or maybe it was Uganda, I don't remember.
01:01:23.519 --> 01:01:27.360
The camps usually have informal survival education.
01:01:27.440 --> 01:01:32.320
So basic numeracy, basic literacy, and like health care, that kind of thing.
01:01:33.119 --> 01:01:34.880
And the need is overwhelming.
01:01:35.039 --> 01:01:45.280
Like I've talked with people who serve in camps in Greece, and it is overwhelming, and secondary trauma is a real thing, and um, there's that.
01:01:46.719 --> 01:02:02.480
Other refugees who don't go to a camp, like in our context, um, they're given an ID card from the UN, and they have permission to be in the country, but and they have permission for the kids to go to school, but they don't have permission.
01:02:02.639 --> 01:02:10.960
Um technically, they have permission to work, but nobody knows how to hire them because they don't have normal paperwork.
01:02:11.119 --> 01:02:20.639
Um, so they usually work, what do you call it, in the informal economy, and they can't sign contracts or access the banking system.
01:02:22.000 --> 01:02:30.800
And so even their cell phones is usually a friend, it's under a friend's name, um, the SIM card contract.
01:02:31.280 --> 01:02:34.320
So um it's really hard.
01:02:34.639 --> 01:02:44.079
And people do it uh oftentimes, you know, hopefully it's temporary, like there's a war or there's a natural disaster, and people leave and then they go back, right?
01:02:44.239 --> 01:02:48.239
That's what should happen in an ideal world.
01:02:48.480 --> 01:02:49.119
Yeah.
01:02:49.519 --> 01:02:52.480
Um, but for many, they can't go back.
01:02:53.360 --> 01:02:58.719
And unfortunately, I think we do have asylum seekers in the US.
01:03:00.000 --> 01:03:14.559
Unfortunately, the system is abused by people who aren't really asylum seekers, they just want a better life, and the normal paths of migration are really hard or they don't qualify, right?
01:03:14.719 --> 01:03:19.039
Most countries want qualified workers with people of wealth to come.
01:03:19.119 --> 01:03:23.920
They don't want, you know, a gardener to come get a work permit.
01:03:24.239 --> 01:03:28.639
So and we see it in our context too.
01:03:28.800 --> 01:03:38.559
Um, I mean, we heard about pastors who would be bribed to give oh I to give baptism certificates.
01:03:40.000 --> 01:03:41.599
Did I freeze up there?
01:03:41.920 --> 01:03:44.000
Yeah, just for a split second, but you're okay now.
01:03:44.320 --> 01:03:48.960
We've heard stories of bribery for like documentation that you are Christian when they're really not.
01:03:49.199 --> 01:03:51.599
Um like it happens why would they need that?
01:03:51.679 --> 01:03:52.639
And why would they need that?
01:03:52.960 --> 01:03:55.440
So you can get a religious asylum.
01:03:55.840 --> 01:03:56.159
Okay.
01:03:58.480 --> 01:04:13.679
So and it's just really unfortunate that that abuse happens because the people who really need the help end up not getting it, like it ruined for everybody.
01:04:13.920 --> 01:04:14.320
Yeah.
01:04:14.559 --> 01:04:20.239
So it happens, um even with some of our families.
01:04:20.320 --> 01:04:29.519
I'm like, I'm not sure how much of this is true, but the reality is they're still in that position, and that's between them and God.
01:04:29.679 --> 01:04:35.039
Yeah, like I mean, they still need help learning how to they need education like anybody else, yeah.
01:04:35.440 --> 01:04:41.039
Yeah, so yeah, it's it's a tough situation.
01:04:41.360 --> 01:04:41.760
Yeah.
01:04:42.000 --> 01:04:50.079
How do you balance that as one who serves and yet the the mom, the leader?
01:04:51.039 --> 01:04:55.119
How how do you how do you how do you balance it all?
01:04:55.599 --> 01:04:57.039
We're still learning.
01:04:57.280 --> 01:05:09.760
Um, last summer I happened to be home um just for a week because of some conferences, and I was at my home church, and I happened to sit next to a gentleman, and I asked him, you know, what do you do for a living?
01:05:10.000 --> 01:05:15.920
Just making small talk, and he coached disabled children's sports.
01:05:16.480 --> 01:05:17.119
Oh, cool.
01:05:17.280 --> 01:05:22.000
And so I asked him about this boy I had recently met with muscular dystrophy.
01:05:22.800 --> 01:05:32.480
And my question was: should I encourage one of my kids who's the same age to develop a friendship, or should I just kind of let him keep his distance?
01:05:33.280 --> 01:05:39.280
And there was a lot of tears on my part, and I think even he got emotional, but he said it's worth it.
01:05:39.599 --> 01:05:49.519
And so encouraging my oldest to make friends with a boy whose life I knew was going to be short, I didn't realize how short.
01:05:49.679 --> 01:05:56.719
Um, and watching my kids struggle through through their things, through their relationships.
01:05:56.880 --> 01:05:59.760
Um we've learned a lot in the last.
01:06:00.239 --> 01:06:09.519
Couple years about third culture kids and raising kids outside their home culture and the different ways they deal with trauma and grief.
01:06:10.159 --> 01:06:17.599
Um there's actually a lot of crossover to the students we have, but just for our own kids and their own sake.
01:06:17.760 --> 01:06:20.719
Um, you know, we really were advocates of therapy.
01:06:20.880 --> 01:06:33.360
Um we about last fall, one of our kids was really experiencing anxiety, like to the point that we thought, do we have to leave because of him?
01:06:33.519 --> 01:06:38.320
Like we can't, we were at the end of our ropes, we couldn't help him cope with the anxiety anymore.
01:06:38.559 --> 01:06:38.880
Yeah.
01:06:39.280 --> 01:06:57.360
And we reached out, we happened to have already scheduled um one of the care department people come out to do like a mental health education with our students, and she met with each of our kids, and she said, they're fine, it's normal third culture missionary kid issues.
01:06:57.760 --> 01:07:06.400
But she started meeting with um our oldest weekly online, and after the first meeting, he was like a different kid.
01:07:06.719 --> 01:07:07.360
Wow.
01:07:07.840 --> 01:07:15.599
And she just knew how to help him process all that grief that he had experienced that didn't have a way out.
01:07:16.079 --> 01:07:20.800
Um, we're still learning how to not live from crisis to crisis.
01:07:20.880 --> 01:07:22.639
It's really not a healthy way to be.
01:07:23.519 --> 01:07:25.679
So, and so much of it is external, right?
01:07:25.760 --> 01:07:36.960
Like we couldn't help the war, we couldn't help COVID, we couldn't help um, like uh last year our residency, my work permit got canceled unexpectedly.
01:07:37.199 --> 01:07:41.360
And oh wow, um it just throws everything into chaos.
01:07:41.440 --> 01:07:42.880
Because are we packing to leave?
01:07:43.119 --> 01:07:44.480
If we leave, where are we going?
01:07:44.639 --> 01:07:45.679
Are we reapplying?
01:07:45.840 --> 01:07:50.880
Like just a lot of chaos, and that impacts our kids, and it's hard really hard on them too.
01:07:51.920 --> 01:08:02.800
But they have a love for our adopted country, and um they're glad because three were three were born in America and one was born there.
01:08:03.360 --> 01:08:07.199
Two were born in America, one in Canada, and then one over there.
01:08:07.760 --> 01:08:08.079
Okay.
01:08:08.800 --> 01:08:10.880
Do they do they are they ready to go back?
01:08:10.960 --> 01:08:15.599
Because I would think for the especially the younger ones, that's more like home, right?
01:08:15.840 --> 01:08:19.680
Yeah, we have pet rabbits and they all miss the pet rabbits.
01:08:20.960 --> 01:08:28.159
Uh we just bought a house that we're still remodeling, and every all of us are ready to move into our house.
01:08:28.319 --> 01:08:32.399
Um, I don't know if it'll be ready when we go back, but we're looking forward to that.
01:08:32.560 --> 01:08:38.479
Uh, we've been in a small room house with one bathroom for six of us, and now almost a lot.
01:08:38.880 --> 01:08:40.399
Soon to be three teenagers.
01:08:40.640 --> 01:08:42.239
So that's fun.
01:08:42.479 --> 01:08:43.359
Yeah, that's fun.
01:08:43.439 --> 01:08:45.199
There's very few secrets in our home.
01:08:45.439 --> 01:08:45.920
Yeah.
01:08:47.520 --> 01:08:49.279
So, you know, we're torn.
01:08:50.000 --> 01:08:51.039
I mean, yeah.
01:08:51.359 --> 01:08:59.199
My mother-in-law recently moved near my parents, so all of our family, except for a couple, are like right in one area.
01:09:00.079 --> 01:09:07.840
Um, it's not always just this is a great life over here internationally.
01:09:07.920 --> 01:09:09.439
It's it's tough.
01:09:10.239 --> 01:09:10.800
Yeah.
01:09:11.119 --> 01:09:20.239
But you know, we were talking with some friends of ours at our home church, and their life has also been very, very tough the last few years.
01:09:20.399 --> 01:09:25.680
And so I think that's a lie we tell ourselves is we should be happy.
01:09:26.000 --> 01:09:26.560
Absolutely.
01:09:26.960 --> 01:09:30.159
It's like, where did that expectation come from?
01:09:30.640 --> 01:09:43.600
Um life is hard, and I don't know what I would do without the peace of God and the freedom from fear and anxiety that comes with that.
01:09:44.000 --> 01:09:44.479
Yeah.
01:09:44.720 --> 01:09:46.960
I think no matter where I live, it would be hard.
01:09:47.279 --> 01:09:50.720
Yeah, yeah, and like life throws some hard punches for sure.
01:09:50.960 --> 01:09:56.800
Um the the one thing I wanted to well, two, I okay, I have two questions before we wrap up.
01:09:57.439 --> 01:10:02.000
One is uh, why don't you want to learn Russian?
01:10:02.159 --> 01:10:07.520
What is your I just gotta ask because it's like the fourth time I've heard that now, and I'm like, I wonder why.
01:10:07.840 --> 01:10:10.800
When I was younger, I was super intimidated by it.
01:10:11.039 --> 01:10:12.560
Um I don't know why.
01:10:12.720 --> 01:10:16.479
It's just something and you know what's so funny.
01:10:16.720 --> 01:10:38.079
Um, so um our family is Polish, but I've I've always one of one of my I've only I have one dream, but I've always had this like internal um well, I know one of the things as a kid that I always wanted to do was someday I want to go to Russia and hold the babies that were left untouched in cribs.
01:10:38.239 --> 01:10:43.039
You know, you used to hear that when we were kids, is that um they're not really touched, they're just left.
01:10:43.119 --> 01:10:47.279
They they have failure to thrive, and my heart is so I just want to go hold them.
01:10:47.600 --> 01:10:51.199
Um and I've always had a heart for for Russia.
01:10:51.439 --> 01:10:52.239
I don't know why.
01:10:52.399 --> 01:10:53.760
Like, I don't know why.
01:10:54.000 --> 01:11:03.439
Well, long story short, I'm now in my 40s, and my grandmother has you know since past, and I was super close with her.
01:11:03.600 --> 01:11:12.159
Don't really know my dad's um dad's side of the family, but my grandmother in particular, we were always told she's Polish from Poland, whatever.
01:11:12.319 --> 01:11:17.359
And then I've kept in touch with one of her nieces that came to visit.
01:11:17.600 --> 01:11:21.199
And her and I have gone back and forth because I have this deep desire to know.
01:11:21.359 --> 01:11:26.000
Tell me about like her, and we only know her from coming to America.
01:11:26.159 --> 01:11:28.319
We don't know, we only know some of the stories.
01:11:29.199 --> 01:11:40.000
Come to find out, she she's actually Belarusian, and she's like, I know your grandmother always told you you're Polish, but she went to a Polish school, she did, you know, all these different things, but she's actually Belarusian.
01:11:40.159 --> 01:11:49.840
It was like, wow, I wonder if that's why I have such a a love or this this just my roots are there, and I don't know why.
01:11:49.920 --> 01:11:54.159
I don't know Russian, I don't, I don't speak it, I don't know that I've never been, but it's just interesting.
01:11:54.239 --> 01:11:57.600
So every time you say something, I just don't want to learn Russian, I'm like, I gotta ask why.
01:11:57.840 --> 01:12:02.079
I've actually come to really appreciate Russians and the Russian culture.
01:12:02.239 --> 01:12:04.800
Um, it's not as intimidating to me now.
01:12:04.880 --> 01:12:07.439
If I had to learn it, I'm like, okay, I could learn this language.
01:12:07.600 --> 01:12:08.640
My husband had to learn it.
01:12:08.800 --> 01:12:21.840
He jokes like the first 80% of it is beautiful, structured, predictable, and then it's like whoever made the language got too drank too much vodka, and then it doesn't make sense.
01:12:22.159 --> 01:12:26.880
But I can understand it um like just certain phrases that I need to use.
01:12:27.119 --> 01:12:31.119
And um, I can tell in movies when the Russian villain has a really bad accent.
01:12:31.199 --> 01:12:36.880
I'm like, that's not oh, I could listen to that that accent all day long.
01:12:36.960 --> 01:12:38.399
I just I I do love it.
01:12:38.640 --> 01:12:52.560
Um the other question I want to ask you as we wrap up is you had mentioned in our coffee that when you go where you live over there in the other country, hospitality is it's all about hospitality.
01:12:54.399 --> 01:12:54.800
Yeah.
01:12:55.119 --> 01:12:55.760
Why?
01:12:56.319 --> 01:12:57.840
Um, why?
01:12:59.279 --> 01:13:07.760
I don't know why, but it's it has almost a sacred place in the culture, and I really think it's that whole region.
01:13:09.920 --> 01:13:11.760
I think it broke up for a moment.
01:13:11.920 --> 01:13:12.239
Okay.
01:13:12.560 --> 01:13:27.920
Um, I know when I spent time in the Middle East, it's also a highly valued thing, and I think it comes from like way back in the day when you're traveling, it's almost like people were required to host you for up to three days.
01:13:28.159 --> 01:13:30.880
And then they could be like, oh, so how long are you staying?
01:13:31.119 --> 01:13:38.239
Um, and that kind of caravan silk road culture really pervades Central Asia.
01:13:38.640 --> 01:13:39.199
Wow.
01:13:39.520 --> 01:13:46.640
And um, I don't know if it's if it comes from culture, like pre-Islamic.
01:13:46.880 --> 01:13:49.359
I I think it does.
01:13:49.680 --> 01:13:53.920
Um, but it's very much in the whole region.
01:13:54.239 --> 01:14:03.279
Um, and it really is fun to read the New Testament and the Old Testament and see it through that cultural lens of hospitality.
01:14:03.439 --> 01:14:08.880
So even though we've been there 12 years now, we're still guests.
01:14:09.920 --> 01:14:19.439
Um I not often, but less often now get pulled over while I'm driving.
01:14:20.560 --> 01:14:26.720
And often the police are like, oh well, you're a you're an honored guest, please drive safely.
01:14:26.800 --> 01:14:28.880
And they don't give me the citation.
01:14:29.680 --> 01:14:31.680
So interesting.
01:14:31.920 --> 01:14:37.039
Um, as a guest, there's almost nothing you could do that's wrong.
01:14:37.439 --> 01:14:40.399
Like they will they will cover the shame.
01:14:40.640 --> 01:14:42.800
Oh, do you have time for a funny story?
01:14:43.119 --> 01:14:44.159
Oh yeah.
01:14:44.880 --> 01:14:48.399
So years ago, my oldest is 10 now.
01:14:48.560 --> 01:14:50.479
Uh my youngest is 10.
01:14:52.319 --> 01:15:14.479
Years ago, we were in an apartment and we made friends with a neighbor, and I brought over pictures of my family from here, like all the parents and sisters and all the people, and was sharing pictures because we didn't have an oven, and she said, if you need to borrow an oven, please use mine.
01:15:14.640 --> 01:15:19.520
So I brought over a birthday cake for my son to bake in her oven.
01:15:20.720 --> 01:15:27.920
And I had invited them to cake and tea uh to celebrate his birthday later that afternoon.
01:15:28.880 --> 01:15:40.640
So we're sitting there, and the cake is in the oven looking at pictures, and she pulls out her tablet and shows me picture after picture of beautiful cakes.
01:15:43.039 --> 01:15:52.159
And I didn't know it, but she had been a professional baker who would bake cakes and then give them to like the bakeries to sell.
01:15:52.560 --> 01:15:53.600
Oh wow.
01:15:55.680 --> 01:16:00.000
And the cake I happened, I I'm not, I mean, I'm not a bad cook.
01:16:00.079 --> 01:16:04.000
These poor neighbors, every time I cooked for them, it turned out terribly, and this was only the first.
01:16:04.560 --> 01:16:06.720
I used the wrong kind of pan.
01:16:07.840 --> 01:16:11.920
And so it was not cooking in the middle and was burning on the edges.
01:16:12.319 --> 01:16:24.159
And she was doing everything she could think of to fix it, and like it ended up by the time the middle cooked, the top was burnt, and she's like, You could just you know cut it off and frost it, and I was like, Okay.
01:16:24.960 --> 01:16:29.520
And then I take my terribly cooked cake, and I'm like, see you later.
01:16:31.680 --> 01:16:32.319
Wow.
01:16:32.560 --> 01:16:33.279
So they come up.
01:16:33.520 --> 01:16:35.199
You should have just asked her to whip one up.
01:16:35.439 --> 01:16:45.439
Well, so a few hours later, they come over, and in their hand is a cake box from the store that they brought.
01:16:46.960 --> 01:16:54.880
That's a friend, and what they were doing is it's shameful for me to serve such a terrible cake, right?
01:16:54.960 --> 01:16:57.039
This is a shame on our culture.
01:16:57.600 --> 01:17:10.399
And so really being hospitable and being the hosts of this country, you know, to us the guests, wanted to make sure that we were not shamed by serving something so terrible.
01:17:10.640 --> 01:17:14.880
And so, even though they were the guests, there was nobody else, it was just their family.
01:17:15.199 --> 01:17:20.640
They brought a cake so that I had something decent to serve.
01:17:22.079 --> 01:17:24.159
There's something beautiful about that though.
01:17:24.800 --> 01:17:25.439
Yeah.
01:17:26.000 --> 01:17:32.399
You know, here in America, we would just make fun of each other, like you know, we would just bust on each other, I think.
01:17:32.880 --> 01:17:42.079
Um I don't know, there's something in a way that's that's uh really beautiful if we would just cover each cover each other, you know, in a way.
01:17:43.600 --> 01:17:54.079
But I could see how that also could not be healthy, but it could also, I mean, humans are humans, you could always be manipulative and passive impressive if you wanted to.
01:17:54.319 --> 01:17:54.960
Yeah, for sure.
01:17:55.600 --> 01:17:58.800
If the cake was beautiful and she still brought a cake, I'd be like, Yeah.
01:18:01.920 --> 01:18:02.560
Yeah.
01:18:02.960 --> 01:18:03.600
Wow.
01:18:04.800 --> 01:18:05.920
Yeah, it just stuck out to me.
01:18:06.000 --> 01:18:09.760
Because here, you know, you could it's all about, you know, inviting someone.
01:18:10.000 --> 01:18:15.359
We're very much one of the things I miss about living in Iowa is so we lived in Iowa before Oregon.
01:18:15.439 --> 01:18:27.039
We're originally from Jersey, and it's probably the one place I miss the most in that no other place where we lived did we have such a huge community where it was, you know.
01:18:27.119 --> 01:18:28.800
I grew up, you don't lock your doors.
01:18:28.880 --> 01:18:30.560
We grew up at the Jersey Shore.
01:18:30.800 --> 01:18:33.840
You know, it people just can't, we didn't, we didn't have any reason to lock our doors.
01:18:34.239 --> 01:18:36.560
So I grew up just very like, come on in, come on in.
01:18:36.640 --> 01:18:38.399
You know, you want to come down, come on over.
01:18:38.640 --> 01:18:40.319
Um, so it was very much community.
01:18:40.479 --> 01:18:41.840
My mom's very community.
01:18:42.079 --> 01:18:56.319
Um, I will, out of all the places we lived, we wound up just getting a whole huge group of friends, a whole community that was very much that, you know, they'd call me, say, this one woman in particular who we were really close with.
01:18:56.479 --> 01:18:58.319
She was like, hey, I'm at your house.
01:18:58.560 --> 01:19:00.239
When are you gonna come home?
01:19:00.479 --> 01:19:02.159
And it didn't bother me.
01:19:02.239 --> 01:19:04.239
It was like, oh, well, help yourself, won't be home for about an hour.
01:19:04.319 --> 01:19:07.359
So she's like, well, just you know, I took some of your chocolate chips, blah, blah, blah, see you later.
01:19:07.600 --> 01:19:09.279
And it was just very much that way.
01:19:09.359 --> 01:19:14.319
You know, you I trusted whoever was coming through that door, and I didn't mind that they were there.
01:19:14.399 --> 01:19:19.920
And any given night, five nights a week, we could have a ton of people over for dinner.
01:19:20.159 --> 01:19:25.279
And it was just, oh, I missed, I just missed that about the Midwest.
01:19:25.359 --> 01:19:34.159
And I and I joke, we joke about the Midwest, you know, it's just so boring because it's cold, it's flat, there's not a whole, it's you know, not big city, it's a lot of smaller cities.
01:19:34.319 --> 01:19:39.439
And so we always joke, and there's nothing else there, but that is really what brought the community.
01:19:39.600 --> 01:19:44.479
It's a tight community, and I'm I have yet to find a community like that anywhere on.
01:19:44.720 --> 01:19:50.239
We've lived in Texas and here, and we've had some really good friends, but I mean it is really special.
01:19:51.760 --> 01:19:57.920
Yeah, it is hard in America to get past the initial niceties.
01:19:58.720 --> 01:20:10.640
Um people are quick to be nice in a short interaction, but to to get past that, at least in the here where we live, to get past that to genuine friendship can be a challenge.
01:20:12.239 --> 01:20:14.319
Yeah, yeah, I agree.
01:20:14.640 --> 01:20:30.560
Okay, so um, if somebody, and we'll we'll we'll put whatever links you know we can in in the notes, is the best way to learn more about what you do if somebody's like, ooh, I felt a little nudge when Sarah was talking.
01:20:30.720 --> 01:20:34.239
I think I want to know more, or maybe it's somebody going, Yeah, why not?
01:20:34.319 --> 01:20:35.840
I'm gonna just join her.
01:20:36.239 --> 01:20:42.239
Um would that just be an email, uh, email address they could email you?
01:20:42.319 --> 01:20:44.239
Is that what we would put in the show notes?
01:20:44.399 --> 01:20:44.560
Okay.
01:20:44.800 --> 01:20:49.119
Yeah, and we'll put, I think we'll put a link to the organization that we have now.
01:20:49.439 --> 01:20:50.800
Um that's fine.
01:20:51.359 --> 01:20:52.399
Yeah, wonderful.
01:20:52.560 --> 01:20:54.720
Sarah, thank you so much for sharing.
01:20:55.840 --> 01:20:56.239
Thank you.
01:20:57.359 --> 01:20:58.319
Yeah, yeah.
01:20:58.800 --> 01:21:03.840
Well, sorry to say, but I know like people don't want to listen for hours, but it's really fun to share.
01:21:04.159 --> 01:21:17.600
Well, if anybody is interested, you want to know more information, you have ways, maybe it's already on your heart, and you want to say yes, we will put the um contact information, some links in the show notes for you so you can get in contact with Sarah.
01:21:17.760 --> 01:21:19.279
But um, thanks again.
01:21:19.439 --> 01:21:25.439
That that was it's just be so beautiful, um, and yet so hard at the same time.
01:21:25.600 --> 01:21:27.359
And um, but thank you for your time.
01:21:27.520 --> 01:21:32.319
I hope you enjoy the rest of the summer with your family before you go back.
01:21:32.479 --> 01:21:33.600
But yeah, okay.
01:21:34.079 --> 01:21:35.039
Thanks for having me, Dana.
01:21:35.199 --> 01:21:36.159
I really appreciate it.
01:21:36.399 --> 01:21:37.039
Absolutely.
01:21:37.279 --> 01:21:38.000
All right, guys.
01:21:38.159 --> 01:21:38.960
Thanks for listening.
01:21:39.039 --> 01:21:40.000
We'll see you next time.