Know Your Value

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Hello, and welcome to our podcast series, the Father Factor Podcast.
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I'm your host, Byron Ricks, and joining me is my co-host and good friend Josh Wombrock.
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The objective is to give a voice to fathers who are not able to be with their kids, mothers who are raising kids without fathers, and children who unfortunately are growing up without fathers in their lives.
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It takes more than minutes to be a man.
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Oh yeah, it takes more than sex to be a dad.
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Oh yeah, it takes more than good to be the bad.
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Oh yeah.
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It takes more.
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It takes more more.
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All right, what a beautiful hot day here in Dallas Fort Worth area.
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These hundred degree days are killing me, man.
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At least you have a pool.
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Oh man, that pool been hot.
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Right.
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I know, right?
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Hot water.
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You keep something in the hot water.
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Jump into a bathtub.
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I'm being boiled like a potato.
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You know, I see that the pool, the levels are getting low, the evaporation is real.
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You know, it's in the late July, early August in Texas is brutal.
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It's brutal.
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It is.
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This in this year's.
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They said July was the busy the busiest, the hottest month of like this century or something.
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Yeah, something.
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I mean, it's been the hottest month there's been in years, this July.
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And I've been the one that's been doing stuff in the yard.
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I've been working in the garage.
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We organized a garage last week.
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Or I let me say we.
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And you organized the yeah.
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You organized the garage.
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And I looked over because I got a nice marathon clock on the wall that's got the temperature and all that stuff.
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105.3 in that thing.
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That's what we do as men, right?
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As men, you did the garage because your wife was not out there helping you.
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No, no, no.
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You know, the same thing I do, you know, some people say, oh, you just you whooped or whatever.
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Yeah.
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And you know, I was trying to explain this to my son, even.
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I'm not whooped.
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Um, I've I've recognized, right?
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I've recognized my value.
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Right.
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I'm a high value man.
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Right.
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And so I should act as a high value man.
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Which is interesting you you segue that because the last time we talked about the nine side effects, we talked about, or we covered three that was the identity crisis, the silent anger, and then a need to belong.
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So number four is underestimating our own values, boys, girls, especially boys, so we started out with this, and we now learn that girls have the same challenges in that sometimes we don't understand our own value to society because of the way we are treated, and we get those impressions from people that are around us, right?
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Our friends, uh, our family.
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But we have to begin to recognize how valuable we are and recognize our own value, and in that way we can be valuable to others.
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Right.
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Right.
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And that's and that's a big thing, is a lot of times, um, like let's use people pleasers.
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Okay.
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People pleasers.
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No, they they tend to look out and take care of for people, right?
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But they oftentimes do it at the expense of themselves.
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Right.
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Rather than recognizing their value.
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They are bringing forth a value.
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They a lot of times they see the value they're bringing, right, but they don't see themselves as value.
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Right.
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Right.
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And so, you know, my son's 15, you know, my daughter's gonna be 21.
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Right.
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And so I've been really big on making sure that I'm planting, especially my son, value.
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Exactly, based on a story you told me earlier about how he sees himself.
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Right.
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And it's up to you to make sure he sees himself the way he is.
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Right.
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Right?
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Right now he's not seen that.
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Right.
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And so for me, like my wife, my wife was uh bragging on me the other day.
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And you know, I overheard it and I came in, you know, gave her like basically why why are you putting my business in the streets?
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Like, why are you out here letting people know what I got going on?
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Right.
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And she's like, oh, shut up.
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Like, I'm saying good things.
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I said, people don't even know I'm good.
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I'm cool with being underestimated.
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There you go.
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You know, it's but she was talking about like I I put gaps in a car.
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You know, I keep a car clean, I polish the jewelry, you know, I do all that stuff, I clean the shoes, you know, because you know, it's not like all do this for me.
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However, I know a lot of this is birthed out of frustration.
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You know what I'm saying?
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Early marriage, I keep a very clean car.
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I like my car to remain new like.
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Right.
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And she kept it or kept it like a third graders lunchbox.
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You know how they eat and they just throw their trash back in the lunchbox and bring it home for you to deal with.
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Yeah, yeah.
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That's how I got her car look.
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You know what I'm saying?
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Yeah.
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So I got tired of dealing with that.
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So I just decided, you know what?
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I'm gonna put her car in a weekly regimen.
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Right.
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I'm gonna just get in there and take care of it, because as long as I'm on top of it consistently, it's always me in good condition.
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Right.
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Every time she gets in that car in excellent condition, she ain't but forced but to think of me.
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Right.
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Right.
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Right.
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She sees that gas gauge is all the way up.
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Yeah.
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Bang.
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And then that also protects against going out into the world and getting amongst other people who may have husbands or boyfriends that they're talking down on, you know, whether they deserve it or not.
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You know, that's not what I'm talking about, just overhearing that chatter.
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She now she's she hearing what they standards are, and she like, oh, okay, he up here.
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Right.
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That also leaves a great example for my son, because if I say that I'm a man of value, that I will conduct that, my wife, my wife should be that way.
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So I'm showing him the example of, hey, I handle these things so your mom don't have to.
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Right.
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However, your mama handled a lot of things that I don't want to handle.
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Right, right.
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Like there's certain things I just don't like doing around the house, just being real.
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So it's we have a common, you know, that that partnership unspoken at this point.
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It's not always been that.
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Right.
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It really all that I've done this, this, this, and this went away.
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What I stepped up my game and cleaning her car, gassing it up, handling things like that.
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So she recognized, okay, he's doing things in this way.
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We both are doing things, but he does it differently.
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Right.
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And so, but that took me understanding my value because I underestimated it.
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Right.
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I was out there young, dumb.
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A lot of people, well, actually, a lot of them have heard partials of the story.
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But it's so impactful if you don't know who you are, whose you are, and your value, especially at that younger age, and my son being 15, sophomore high school, interested in girls, yeah, you know, it's a real weird time, you know what I'm saying?
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And uh, you know, it's yeah, and and you know, for boys and girls of color, um, you know, that value piece or understanding our own value can be challenging, you know, because of the society we live in.
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And I'm not saying that everybody is racist or prejudiced, I'm not, but we do know that element is there.
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Yes.
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And we do know that people uh have favorites and play differences based on complexion.
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We do know that even within our African-American community, there there's uh hatred, if you will, or or disgust or dislike based on uh on the shade of your skin, the color of your skin.
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And so it's very important that we understand, the young people understand, that um your intellect is what what what makes you valuable, not the color of your skin.
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You know, your intelligence, your character, yeah, you know, how you treat people, how you feel about people, and how they feel about you.
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You know, what is that old saying when you walk into a room, do people say, yay, he's here, or oh God, he's here.
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Oh yeah.
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You know, depending on the circle, I get both.
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You know, just depending on that.
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But but that's I mean, that's real because I know plenty of people that got long money that have low integrity.
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Yeah.
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Oh, character.
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People I won't kick it with won't associate.
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Right.
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We we we can associate, right?
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But I wouldn't do anything to tie it with them and they what they got going on because of how my what value I have.
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Right.
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And my value is not tied to a number.
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Right.
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You know, it's in document, but and that's not because I don't have a number, right?
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You know, there's a time I had no number, you know, it was broke, broke, broke.
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Now, uh what broke means to me is very different.
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Like it's been redefined because of experiences, because I've learned the value, I've learned uh stress levels, I've learned that time is more important than money, and my presence is more impactful than Christmas gifts, right?
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So teaching these kids how to value themselves.
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Um, and I was telling my wife a few months ago, because you know, that oh, I'm I don't know how if I'm that good looking or whatever, yeah.
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That conversation, you know, I'm trying to explain, like, you know, we're raising an alien right now.
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My son's an absolute alien because he's the only person in our house that has both parents in the household.
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Okay.
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He's the only one that has gone through the K basically we'll go through the full K through 12 system and in a great school district.
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Right.
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I went to 13 schools.
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So, you know, Jelena moved in the midst when they're when we first moved out to that Keller area.
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Right.
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Um and then when she went to that academy or wherever for those few years as well, and then transferred back into public for a senior so she could have some electors.
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So she's also didn't have that K through 12 experience.
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She also didn't have both parents, but she does show fruit of of confidence and value now because she's had uh the two same two parents that have been in the household consistently for over 16 years with her.
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Um so she does have that, though we weren't that's not her bio mom.
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You can't they you you can't tell that to them, right?
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Truly connected.
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So but there's still those side effects there with value that I've had to work with her, right?
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But with the boy, like he walks with a confidence that is foreign to me.
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Like he's okay trying things that I was more worried about at his age, what everybody else was gonna think of me.
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You know, he's joined clubs in the school that I've like, what there's a club for that?
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Like, come on, man, what are you talking about?
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Uh there's been so many times I've had to shut my mouth so I didn't devalue him because he was interested in something that would be foreign to the culture.
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Right.
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Right?
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You know, so that was the hard part with the alien boy.
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That's why I call him alien, is because he's he's unknown for me.
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Yeah, so I have to be careful not to devalue him out of my um deficit as a child, out of my limited view as poor community, things like that.
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Oh, that's how we we don't well you you had a different experience, right?
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And so, but we're quick to devalue others.
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Other experience, exactly.
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And as the father, I could have done damage, and we've shared before, I have.
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Right.
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But I felt like he'd be a little soft.
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And yeah, you know, he was too young and didn't understand what I was saying, right?
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And so he tried to change his personality and try to get into trouble.
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And I'm like, bro, no, that's not what I meant.
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That's not what I meant.
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So I realized I had to learn how to taper because we add so much value being present, right?
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But we can also do a lot of damage because we didn't have something present.
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Because you know, that goes to side effect number five, misunderstanding what character really is and what it means.
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And when you said earlier that your the your value wasn't just about money, you know, it's also about character, it's about who you are.
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It's it's you know, there's a book, uh uh, what is that book?
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Who who are you when no one's looking?
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Or who you are when no one's looking.
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That was that title, I don't know if that's the exact title, but it's it's close.
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Right.
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And I did read that book.
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Uh and the question becomes, it's like when I went to the store, and it's funny that this comedian says, uh, he talks about um uh uh blessings, and and um and uh he said God will challenge you and God will also bless you.
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He said, but sometimes I have a hard time distinguishing if if if God is challenging me or blessing me.
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Okay, and he gave this example.
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He went into a store and he bought something, let's say it cost ten dollars, right?
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And he gave the woman um a$20 bill.
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And she for some reason gave him$30 change.
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And so he said, Is this a blessing or is this a challenge?
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Yeah, you know, that may not be the exact story, but I have been in that situation where I have gotten more change, you know.
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Uh actually I've I've not paid for something because at the bottom, they missed it, I missed it, you know.
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And then I'm looking, okay, is this free or do I go back and pay for this?
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I told you, I told you that story.
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I think I think the listeners have heard heard it too.
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Right.
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But we're up there, that's when we lived in um like Frisco Little Elm border.
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Right.
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And they had built that huge brand new signature Kroger, and I'm in there like, yo, they got furniture in here?
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I know, okay.
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It's nutty.
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Everything.
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Well, so we're going through, meaning the whole staff was new.
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So they forgot to scan the waters at the bottom.
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Money, this is well before COVID.
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So bottle of case of water was still under$3.
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Right.
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Right.
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So we're talking about maybe$2 worth of goods.
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Good.
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Okay.
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Right?
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Jordan's still in the car seat.
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And those that know me know that I hate car seats.
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Like I use them.
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I'm not saying don't use them.
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I don't hate the pain.
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The pain in the butt.
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Yeah.
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Especially if you're uninstalling them, you got to get a fancy one.
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Right.
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And uh, we ain't had no fancy one at that stage.
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So getting putting him back, like putting him in the car seat, we let pop it out with you.
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You feel me?
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And so I get them all in, the groceries loaded, I look down, I said, uh, is this a blessing?
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Is this a blessing or is this a challenge?
00:14:42.480 --> 00:14:44.960
Or is this an opportunity to show my kids?
00:14:45.200 --> 00:14:45.600
Yeah.
00:14:45.840 --> 00:14:47.919
And I just knew that Jelena was looking.
00:14:48.000 --> 00:14:49.840
I said, all right, now we gotta go back in.
00:14:49.919 --> 00:14:50.159
Yeah.
00:14:50.320 --> 00:14:50.720
Why?
00:14:50.960 --> 00:14:52.159
We didn't pay for the water.
00:14:52.320 --> 00:14:53.600
Well, they let us take it.
00:14:53.679 --> 00:14:53.840
Yeah.
00:14:54.240 --> 00:14:54.720
It don't matter.
00:14:54.960 --> 00:14:55.519
Don't matter, yeah.
00:14:55.840 --> 00:14:57.360
Still we ain't we ain't pay for that.
00:14:57.600 --> 00:14:58.080
We ain't paid for it.
00:14:58.720 --> 00:15:04.799
You know, that wanted them to see that, because at the end of the day, you know, numbers are numbers, right?
00:15:05.039 --> 00:15:05.919
Dollars are dollars.
00:15:06.080 --> 00:15:06.399
Right.
00:15:06.639 --> 00:15:15.519
And if I was to become a business owner, which I didn't forecast that fully at that time, how would I wanted my business to been handled?
00:15:15.600 --> 00:15:15.679
Right.
00:15:16.080 --> 00:15:18.159
My employee mistakenly missed that.
00:15:18.320 --> 00:15:18.480
Right.
00:15:18.639 --> 00:15:20.000
You know, what if that was$100?
00:15:20.399 --> 00:15:20.720
Right.
00:15:20.879 --> 00:15:21.360
Right.
00:15:21.600 --> 00:15:32.399
And nowadays, if a lot of people don't realize, nowadays, you know, we're talking about 2026, a lot of these stores are letting people steal until it hits felony dollar amount.
00:15:32.639 --> 00:15:35.600
And then they get arrested the next time they're in the store.
00:15:35.840 --> 00:15:36.320
Really?
00:15:36.480 --> 00:15:36.960
Yeah.
00:15:37.200 --> 00:15:39.600
So they'll let it rack up to a felony.
00:15:40.240 --> 00:15:41.840
Okay, I've never heard I never heard this before.
00:15:43.279 --> 00:15:44.320
But then I'm not a thief either.
00:15:44.399 --> 00:15:50.080
So you know, so the self-checkouts, you know, I'm I'll be looking at court cases and stuff like that.
00:15:51.039 --> 00:15:54.480
And um, so these folks, you know, they got self-checkouts.
00:15:54.559 --> 00:15:54.639
Right.
00:15:54.960 --> 00:15:55.919
Recording you here.
00:15:56.399 --> 00:16:03.039
So I myself, way, way back in the day, used to grab the bag of chicken and scan the Kleenex.
00:16:03.200 --> 00:16:03.840
You feel me?
00:16:04.000 --> 00:16:06.320
And when the first checkouts first came.
00:16:06.480 --> 00:16:06.639
Right.
00:16:06.799 --> 00:16:07.679
So stuff like that.
00:16:07.759 --> 00:16:11.679
They're now putting uh anti-theft measures, things like that.
00:16:12.000 --> 00:16:15.679
Um, and so now I saw these people get arrested.
00:16:16.000 --> 00:16:18.399
Just one short videos that popped up.
00:16:18.960 --> 00:16:22.799
They've been in here just nine times in the past month stealing.
00:16:22.879 --> 00:16:24.240
And it's all on camera.
00:16:24.320 --> 00:16:27.039
And now that it's hit, I think it's like$1,000 or something like that.
00:16:27.200 --> 00:16:28.080
Yeah, whatever that number is.
00:16:28.720 --> 00:16:30.879
They becoming filling arrest.
00:16:31.120 --> 00:16:31.279
Right.
00:16:31.440 --> 00:16:33.679
Because a lot of these cameras now have AI stuff in it, too.
00:16:34.080 --> 00:16:38.879
So they can tell not just by your face, but the the gate and your walk, stuff like that.
00:16:39.039 --> 00:16:49.519
So a lot of companies are doing it, including the one I've been with, so that if somebody was to break in masks or whatever, the gate and their walk could make them a suspect.
00:16:49.600 --> 00:16:52.240
Because if that oh, that's a familiar gate AI saw.
00:16:52.639 --> 00:16:59.360
So there's a lot of technology, and I told you those fort cases with the murders of using Tesla cameras and things like that.
00:16:59.679 --> 00:17:11.359
So technology nowadays is so important because there was a time where you could get away with bad character because you there's no exposure until you got exposed.
00:17:11.519 --> 00:17:11.759
Right.
00:17:12.000 --> 00:17:16.559
Right nowadays, that poor character is being recorded all over the place.
00:17:16.799 --> 00:17:17.440
All over the place.
00:17:17.599 --> 00:17:24.319
You see it, you can see it up on TikTok, on Facebook, on Instagram, on just pick anything.
00:17:24.559 --> 00:17:32.160
And it's amazing now that people don't seem to care that the camera's on.
00:17:33.039 --> 00:17:42.799
You know, I mean, I I mean, you see, you see all these Karen camera, you know, incidents with Karen or racism, or even some of a lot of the police brutality stuff.
00:17:42.880 --> 00:17:45.599
I'm like, that cop should have turned the camera off.
00:17:45.759 --> 00:17:51.839
Because the cop is is is filming his own lack of character.
00:17:52.480 --> 00:17:58.319
See, it's it's tough because I think it's two things at the same time.
00:17:58.559 --> 00:17:59.359
How so?
00:17:59.680 --> 00:18:02.480
It's a lack of emotional control and awareness.
00:18:02.880 --> 00:18:03.200
Okay.
00:18:03.440 --> 00:18:05.359
You know, because people get out of control.
00:18:05.519 --> 00:18:05.759
Right.
00:18:05.920 --> 00:18:09.119
And that they don't care in that exact moment.
00:18:09.279 --> 00:18:11.759
But they sure do care when the gavin comes down.
00:18:12.000 --> 00:18:12.160
Yeah.
00:18:12.319 --> 00:18:12.480
Right?
00:18:12.559 --> 00:18:14.480
So I know they have a whole different demeanor.
00:18:15.039 --> 00:18:16.400
I'm a good person.
00:18:17.119 --> 00:18:19.440
Yeah, I have character witnesses.
00:18:20.160 --> 00:18:23.920
But in that moment, they lacked the character.
00:18:24.400 --> 00:18:28.559
And maybe they were though you said it earlier, they lacked emotional intelligence in that moment.
00:18:29.599 --> 00:18:35.200
And also, though, but this is just this is this is a question.
00:18:35.680 --> 00:18:44.079
Do you think a person with a high character, a good character, or in tune with their character is better able to control their emotions?
00:18:45.920 --> 00:19:01.519
Um when they a person with good character, strong character, even when their emotions are tapped, they are still able not to act out of character.
00:19:01.680 --> 00:19:02.880
I guess that's the same question.
00:19:03.839 --> 00:19:11.359
I believe good character is rooted in intentionality.
00:19:12.000 --> 00:19:12.160
Okay.
00:19:12.400 --> 00:19:13.359
Intentionality, okay.
00:19:14.640 --> 00:19:15.279
Explain.
00:19:15.839 --> 00:19:19.119
So why would I pick this up?
00:19:19.359 --> 00:19:23.599
If I dropped this on the floor, I could just walk past it because I know we got a janitor.
00:19:23.920 --> 00:19:24.240
Right.
00:19:24.559 --> 00:19:25.039
Right?
00:19:26.160 --> 00:19:29.680
Well I intentionally go back and pick it up.
00:19:30.000 --> 00:19:32.960
Because I'm trying to lead things, but then I found it not worse than what I found it, right?
00:19:33.039 --> 00:19:34.400
So I was intentional to go back.
00:19:34.559 --> 00:19:39.440
I had the opportunity to take those two two dollars and thirty-eight cents worth of water or whatever it was.
00:19:40.000 --> 00:19:47.759
But instead, I was intentional with going back in, finding somebody to make that transaction truly complete.
00:19:48.400 --> 00:19:48.720
Right.
00:19:48.880 --> 00:19:53.359
I was so whenever I do lose control, right?
00:19:53.519 --> 00:20:02.240
Because there's time, you know, trust me, you know, I can I can that's why you you know me, I go quiet before I get mad or explode because I know myself.
00:20:02.319 --> 00:20:02.799
Right.
00:20:03.119 --> 00:20:09.359
So when I do, I believe good character is intentional about going and making it right.
00:20:09.599 --> 00:20:15.039
Hey, I apologize for the way I talk to you, I apologize for the way w I handled myself or whatever.
00:20:15.279 --> 00:20:20.319
I was intentional about making right right rather than well, that's a problem.
00:20:20.480 --> 00:20:20.720
Right.
00:20:20.960 --> 00:20:23.359
You were intentional about doing the right thing.
00:20:23.599 --> 00:20:23.839
Right.
00:20:24.079 --> 00:20:27.680
And and one of the even after doing the wrong thing.
00:20:27.920 --> 00:20:28.240
Right.
00:20:28.400 --> 00:20:30.640
Right, making and and making the intentional about making it right.
00:20:30.880 --> 00:20:37.279
So even and so that's when your question is kind of it's tough to answer because I believe circumstances can drive behavior.
00:20:37.440 --> 00:20:45.759
Last night, you know, I got into it the full family, then you I feel like I was, you know, and then I had to reflect and though I was right, uh-huh, and they was they was wrong.
00:20:46.000 --> 00:20:46.319
Right.
00:20:46.480 --> 00:20:47.279
You know what I'm saying?
00:20:48.480 --> 00:20:56.640
Um, I was wrong in taking the bait because I don't know how much of it was as they take the teens say rage bait.
00:20:56.799 --> 00:20:57.599
Rage bait, yeah.
00:20:57.759 --> 00:21:02.079
Um, but at that juncture, I've been awake for 24 hours exactly.
00:21:02.240 --> 00:21:02.559
Right.
00:21:02.720 --> 00:21:04.559
So not slept in 24 hours.
00:21:04.880 --> 00:21:07.119
And I hear y'all poking and antagonizing.
00:21:07.680 --> 00:21:08.400
Poking the bear.
00:21:08.640 --> 00:21:13.359
And so yeah, you know, you're gonna get that passionate response because now I'm protecting my boy.
00:21:13.440 --> 00:21:13.680
Right.
00:21:13.839 --> 00:21:15.599
The same way I protect my daughter.
00:21:15.680 --> 00:21:15.920
Right.
00:21:16.079 --> 00:21:20.720
But y'all can't, you know, but which y'all not y'all missing how vulnerable he's being.
00:21:20.799 --> 00:21:23.200
It's not time for jokes or your perspectives.
00:21:23.680 --> 00:21:27.680
It's like y'all, they missed it, that emotional awareness there.
00:21:27.839 --> 00:21:28.880
They missed that part.
00:21:29.039 --> 00:21:29.200
Right.
00:21:29.359 --> 00:21:37.759
So that's when I kind of I probably growled and I was more um abrasive than I needed to be in in the ways.
00:21:37.920 --> 00:21:47.359
Uh so therefore I had to, I called my daughter and you know, hey, yo, I told her the why, apologize if you know I was too abrasive.
00:21:47.519 --> 00:21:51.599
Um, so I was intentional even though I was the circumstances.
00:21:51.680 --> 00:21:55.599
So there are times and circumstances can lead us to act out of character.
00:21:55.920 --> 00:21:59.599
But I think that character definition is gonna be that when that does.
00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:01.920
Take place, what do you do with it?
00:22:02.640 --> 00:22:04.240
Are you gonna go make it right?
00:22:04.960 --> 00:22:08.799
Are you gonna rise to your character and go admit fault and wrong?
00:22:09.359 --> 00:22:24.960
Where so many people are quick to say, Yeah, but I hadn't slept in 24 hours, and oh yeah, but y'all were doing this, and but you is this, and but you you versus taking this out and say, Yo, I apologize, maybe a little more abrasive than I needed to be.
00:22:25.200 --> 00:22:27.359
I ain't slept in 24 hours.
00:22:27.759 --> 00:22:28.480
My fault.
00:22:29.119 --> 00:22:34.559
You know, I was looking up character and it says the word character has several main meanings.
00:22:34.799 --> 00:22:44.240
It can mean a person or animal in a story, movie, or play, a person's moral strength and good values.
00:22:44.400 --> 00:22:45.759
And that's what we're talking about.
00:22:46.000 --> 00:22:46.240
Right.
00:22:46.400 --> 00:22:46.720
Right?
00:22:46.880 --> 00:22:49.839
Our moral strength and good values.
00:22:50.319 --> 00:22:58.160
And which says that who you are when no one's looking, it doesn't matter who's looking.
00:22:58.400 --> 00:23:01.519
I am going to do the right thing intentionally.
00:23:01.759 --> 00:23:17.440
But nowadays, we think nobody's looking, but there's a lot of lenses uh cap so having good character nowadays is more likely to be captured the same way that having poor character is more likely to be captured.
00:23:17.839 --> 00:23:23.200
You know what having poor character is captured, having good character is not noticed.
00:23:23.920 --> 00:23:26.400
It may be captured, right, but it's not noticed.
00:23:26.880 --> 00:23:27.759
That's good, you know.
00:23:28.400 --> 00:23:31.839
And you you have to not care about if it's noticed or not.
00:23:32.000 --> 00:23:35.279
You still have to be a person of good character, good moral.
00:23:35.519 --> 00:23:36.400
I gotta live with me.
00:23:36.559 --> 00:23:37.200
Right, exactly.
00:23:37.279 --> 00:23:38.559
I gotta live with me, you know?
00:23:38.720 --> 00:23:42.559
And that's one thing I tell men, you know, a lot of times when I'm talking to men.
00:23:42.720 --> 00:23:45.759
Sometimes, you know, women, but usually it's the men.
00:23:45.920 --> 00:23:46.079
Right.
00:23:46.240 --> 00:23:55.759
Um, you know, normally I do talk with women, all that, but I feel like when we talk about like divorce or separation and things like that, oftentimes I talk to the man.
00:23:55.920 --> 00:23:56.400
Right.
00:23:56.720 --> 00:24:02.160
And what I tell them is that, okay, yeah, she did this or that or whatever.
00:24:02.319 --> 00:24:17.039
Yeah, but have you done everything in your power so that when your kids come look you in the eye as an adult, that you can look them in the eye and not tell them, yeah, but she.
00:24:17.279 --> 00:24:17.599
Right.
00:24:18.480 --> 00:24:19.839
Yeah, she this, right?
00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:20.640
She that.
00:24:21.200 --> 00:24:26.799
Did you do everything in your power to say, son, I did everything that I could.
00:24:26.880 --> 00:24:27.119
I could.
00:24:27.359 --> 00:24:29.359
And I'm sorry, it just did not work out.
00:24:29.680 --> 00:24:41.359
He reminds me of uh Tony Evans when he talks about Adam and Eve, and he says that uh Eve is not the one that God held accountable.
00:24:41.599 --> 00:24:44.559
He said he had he held Adam accountable.
00:24:44.799 --> 00:24:48.960
He said, remember, he created Adam before he created Eve.
00:24:49.359 --> 00:24:53.920
And he gave Adam the law before Eve even hit the scene.
00:24:54.079 --> 00:24:58.720
And so when he came looking for them, he asked Adam, yeah, where are you?
00:24:58.960 --> 00:24:59.200
Yeah.
00:24:59.440 --> 00:25:02.799
Okay, and then the first thing Adam said was the woman.
00:25:02.960 --> 00:25:03.279
Yeah.
00:25:03.519 --> 00:25:03.759
Right?
00:25:04.480 --> 00:25:04.960
The woman.
00:25:05.039 --> 00:25:08.640
When when when Adam should have said, My bad.
00:25:08.799 --> 00:25:09.759
Yeah, it's on me, Papa.
00:25:09.920 --> 00:25:10.400
It's on me.
00:25:10.480 --> 00:25:10.640
Yeah.
00:25:10.960 --> 00:25:11.680
I messed that up.
00:25:11.920 --> 00:25:23.519
It's funny because I saw a video and um which will was uh this little girl, she's sat up on her brother's bunk bed, and she's pulling like on the the guard, the top bunk of the guard.
00:25:23.599 --> 00:25:33.839
So she's hanging off the top of the guard and it snapped and it hit her in the chin and she dropped and she jumped up all panic, it's all broken, and then she goes, I'm telling.
00:25:34.400 --> 00:25:38.559
Her brother's sitting there on the cell phone, like sitting on the bed, and he's just like, What'd you do?
00:25:38.640 --> 00:25:39.839
And she said, I'm telling.
00:25:40.000 --> 00:25:43.279
And then you heard her run out to go tell that he broke the bed.
00:25:43.680 --> 00:25:44.559
You know what I'm saying?
00:25:44.720 --> 00:25:44.960
Right?
00:25:45.119 --> 00:25:47.200
He picked the phone call as dad.
00:25:47.680 --> 00:25:51.039
And he just basically told me I'm feeling real disrespected.
00:25:51.119 --> 00:25:51.440
Right.
00:25:51.680 --> 00:25:55.440
Because she just did this, and now she's in there lying on me and I didn't do it.
00:25:55.599 --> 00:25:56.400
Da-da-da-da-da.
00:25:56.799 --> 00:26:01.519
She didn't even know that they had put that camera in there because I guess it's been an ongoing issue.
00:26:01.839 --> 00:26:02.160
Right.
00:26:02.319 --> 00:26:02.640
Right?
00:26:02.799 --> 00:26:05.839
So you literally saw her blatant do it and then go live.
00:26:06.240 --> 00:26:08.400
Have a thought, like papa's, what do I do?
00:26:08.720 --> 00:26:09.839
I'm gonna go telling him.
00:26:09.920 --> 00:26:10.000
Right.
00:26:10.160 --> 00:26:11.119
I'm gonna make it of him.
00:26:11.200 --> 00:26:11.519
Exactly.
00:26:11.680 --> 00:26:12.880
His verb worse mine.
00:26:13.119 --> 00:26:17.519
And like he said, hey, she disrespecting me.
00:26:17.759 --> 00:26:22.400
And in that vein, because the sixth side effect is lack of respect.
00:26:22.799 --> 00:26:28.000
A father who does not show up for his children epitomizes disrespect.
00:26:28.400 --> 00:26:32.160
That is what he teaches the children.
00:26:32.400 --> 00:26:41.359
From fathers, boys, girls need to learn respect or respectful behaviors, including what?
00:26:41.519 --> 00:26:46.400
Listening, trust, tolerance, politeness, and understanding limits.
00:26:46.559 --> 00:26:51.119
And when you have a person with poor character, you're probably going around disrespecting others.
00:26:51.440 --> 00:26:53.599
Being around disrespect and all that.
00:26:53.680 --> 00:27:00.160
I mean, it's it's so I mean, let's think about let's use cinema.
00:27:00.480 --> 00:27:01.279
Movies, right?
00:27:01.759 --> 00:27:02.720
We use cinema.
00:27:03.119 --> 00:27:05.200
A lot of people watch movies, TV shows.
00:27:05.839 --> 00:27:06.960
Hollywood.
00:27:07.200 --> 00:27:11.680
There's always that that that moment of vengeance, right?
00:27:12.240 --> 00:27:15.839
And and I don't mean vengeance as like Arden slaughtered him.
00:27:15.920 --> 00:27:16.319
Right.
00:27:16.640 --> 00:27:26.319
But we can use something like um when we talked about fathers, the scene, a lot of times in Black Cinema, where we confront the father.
00:27:26.480 --> 00:27:26.799
Yeah.
00:27:26.960 --> 00:27:30.480
Luke, what I became, I remember Nick Cannon, Nick Cannon and Drumline.
00:27:30.640 --> 00:27:39.359
He went up to the train station and said, I just want you to know they haven't been arrested, straight A's, I'm going to college, all without your help, right?
00:27:39.599 --> 00:27:44.559
And then you there's a lot of times we have that confrontation because it is so prevalent.
00:27:44.640 --> 00:27:44.799
Right.
00:27:44.960 --> 00:27:55.519
And that's not just in black, you see in other races, but it's almost like that scene of like, ah, I finally got to look you in your eyes and tell you, you ain't nothing.
00:27:55.680 --> 00:28:01.440
You was, and it says it a father who does not show for his children epitomizes disrespect.
00:28:01.599 --> 00:28:02.000
Right.
00:28:02.160 --> 00:28:02.480
Right.
00:28:02.640 --> 00:28:05.440
And it creates a breeding ground of disrespect.
00:28:05.519 --> 00:28:05.680
Right.
00:28:06.000 --> 00:28:06.240
Right.
00:28:06.319 --> 00:28:18.480
And either the child rises above it and then feels and recognizes how disrespectful it was, and it wants that opportunity to speak to it, or that child is so unhealed.
00:28:18.559 --> 00:28:18.640
Right.
00:28:18.799 --> 00:28:21.599
And when they come across, they're ready to put that baseball bat to them.
00:28:21.839 --> 00:28:22.160
Exactly.
00:28:24.000 --> 00:28:32.000
There's no way that you come across dad after that upbringing of lack and disrespect and watching mama struggle and all that stuff.
00:28:32.160 --> 00:28:32.480
Oh, yeah.
00:28:32.640 --> 00:28:33.920
And feel no type of way.
00:28:34.319 --> 00:28:36.640
Like this you don't just go, you're my father.
00:28:36.960 --> 00:28:39.359
That dad comes out at the NBA draft.
00:28:44.480 --> 00:28:57.440
But at the same time, I do encourage those, because it was the epitome of disrespect, you know, we we don't know what respect is a lot of times.
00:28:57.680 --> 00:29:00.000
We or we we have to relearn it.
00:29:00.160 --> 00:29:06.160
And so respecting self, if we went all the way back to that understanding on value, right?
00:29:06.400 --> 00:29:11.200
Respecting self, though we might have that moment to say, F you dad, right?
00:29:11.920 --> 00:29:14.799
Um, there's still a part of us that desires.
00:29:15.119 --> 00:29:35.839
So giving ourselves enough respect to put our anger and emotions side to talk with, if depending on the circumstances, with dad, because that may not be the same dad that walked out the door that uh now been reflection and pain and growth.
00:29:36.319 --> 00:29:41.759
So is it you blocking an opportunity to reconnect with the father?
00:29:42.720 --> 00:29:45.200
Um, is it blocking an opportunity?
00:29:46.000 --> 00:29:51.759
Basically, what I'm saying is don't be so disrespectful to yourself that you harbor so much resentment.
00:29:52.000 --> 00:29:54.079
Resentment and unforgiveness.
00:29:54.240 --> 00:29:54.480
Right.
00:29:54.720 --> 00:30:00.880
It's you're not unforgiving forgiving a father that wasn't there is the ultimate way to respect self.
00:30:01.039 --> 00:30:01.279
Right.
00:30:01.440 --> 00:30:03.200
Because you're not doing it for them.
00:30:03.440 --> 00:30:06.160
I could say my dad, I forgive you, and he's like, okay, and for what?
00:30:06.240 --> 00:30:07.200
I ain't did nothing wrong.
00:30:07.519 --> 00:30:08.640
And now I'm mad again.
00:30:08.720 --> 00:30:08.960
Right.
00:30:09.119 --> 00:30:10.960
Because I wasn't forgiving him for me.
00:30:11.119 --> 00:30:11.200
Right.
00:30:11.440 --> 00:30:12.000
You know what I'm saying?
00:30:12.160 --> 00:30:12.319
Right.
00:30:12.480 --> 00:30:43.599
But if I forgive him, because I no longer want to feel these horrible pains and struggles, I no longer want to feel this level of disrespect, I no longer react disrespectfully, then forgiving him, whether that creates a relationship or not, is the ultimate self-respect, ultimate way to start checking your character, integrity, and all that, because that silent anger that I think we we talked about last week, a lot of times is what's separating us from that next level in life.
00:30:43.839 --> 00:30:44.480
But you know what?
00:30:44.559 --> 00:30:59.759
I talk to uh family counselors, and they say one of the greatest challenges they they meet when couples come to them is the man feeling disrespected.
00:31:00.559 --> 00:31:06.880
And the challenge that women have, wives have, girlfriends have in respecting their man.
00:31:07.759 --> 00:31:19.680
Uh with the the women's movement, with with independence and working moms and working women who's making six figures, seven figures, you know.
00:31:19.920 --> 00:31:22.799
Uh I remember I was listening to to Cheryl Underwood.
00:31:22.880 --> 00:31:26.720
She was being interviewed by by um Shannon Sharp.
00:31:26.960 --> 00:31:37.359
And Shannon asked her about a guy that she was dating, and she makes more money than the guy, and she said, she said, he is the head of the house.
00:31:37.839 --> 00:31:41.440
It has nothing to do with how much money I make and he makes.
00:31:41.599 --> 00:31:43.839
It has to do with him being the man.
00:31:44.240 --> 00:31:48.720
It and I'm gonna allow him to be that man that God created him to be.
00:31:48.880 --> 00:31:59.680
And I find that a lot of times in relationships in this day and age in 2026, you got so much independence in women, and I want them to be independent, don't get me wrong.
00:31:59.759 --> 00:32:02.960
I don't want to be what they say, barefoot and pregnant.
00:32:03.039 --> 00:32:04.480
No, no, that's not what I'm saying.
00:32:04.640 --> 00:32:10.000
But what I am saying, I think sometimes that line is blurred.
00:32:10.160 --> 00:32:14.000
They don't really know how to respect their husbands.
00:32:14.319 --> 00:32:22.880
I think that just to finish the point real quick, they said that their boss can ask them to do something and they'll do it.
00:32:23.119 --> 00:32:27.599
But the husband can ask them to do something and they may or may not do it.
00:32:27.839 --> 00:32:33.599
So I and I and I and I I even within my own relationship, sometimes I feel disrespected.
00:32:34.079 --> 00:32:36.480
And I have to have to check myself.
00:32:36.720 --> 00:32:50.319
Like you said earlier, I have to stop checking myself because if I allow that emotion to take over, I don't have emotional intelligence, then I'm gonna disrespect myself again by disrespecting her.
00:32:50.559 --> 00:32:51.839
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:32:52.079 --> 00:32:52.559
Right?
00:32:52.799 --> 00:33:01.200
Yeah, I mean it's it's major because if we say the father not being there is the ultimate disrespect, it epitomizes disrespect.
00:33:02.079 --> 00:33:10.640
That what I think a lot of men don't get about ourselves is that when we get disrespected, it's not about the thing.
00:33:10.960 --> 00:33:13.519
That disrespect is one of those deep wounds.
00:33:13.599 --> 00:33:13.920
Right.
00:33:14.079 --> 00:33:16.000
Like this is a triggering, right?
00:33:16.079 --> 00:33:18.640
You know, and that's the thing is praying becomes pride.
00:33:18.880 --> 00:33:22.160
And that was one of the things, especially in the streets, you're like, you oh what?
00:33:22.319 --> 00:33:22.559
What?
00:33:22.720 --> 00:33:24.799
Nah, ain't nobody disrespect pride.
00:33:24.880 --> 00:33:27.519
But the word of God says pride becomes before the fall.
00:33:27.599 --> 00:33:27.839
Right.
00:33:28.000 --> 00:33:28.319
Right.
00:33:28.400 --> 00:33:32.400
So we are so proud that we don't want to admit we're wrong sometimes.
00:33:32.480 --> 00:33:36.880
We don't want to accept somebody talking crazy to us, especially our ladies.
00:33:37.200 --> 00:33:41.119
And the truth is our ladies know how to talk to us, you know, horse than anyone with.
00:33:41.440 --> 00:33:43.759
Well, yeah, you know, so and vice versa.
00:33:43.920 --> 00:33:45.440
We we know how to get under their skin.
00:33:45.599 --> 00:33:46.160
Like I've told me.
00:33:46.319 --> 00:33:47.440
They know how to get under our skin.
00:33:47.599 --> 00:33:55.119
But I will say this really quickly is I don't deliberately annoy my wife.
00:33:55.279 --> 00:33:57.680
I believe she deliberately annoys me.
00:33:58.960 --> 00:33:59.920
I believe that.
00:34:00.079 --> 00:34:00.799
I believe that.
00:34:01.119 --> 00:34:01.839
I believe that.
00:34:02.000 --> 00:34:15.280
You know, because because you know what, you ever see it's out there that that joke is out there on the internet everywhere, where the the lady is um is uh in a coma and then they ask her, the doctor walks in, has she woken up yet?
00:34:15.519 --> 00:34:15.840
No.
00:34:16.159 --> 00:34:20.559
And then does anybody tell her her husband is sitting on the couch resting peacefully?
00:34:20.880 --> 00:34:22.400
And then she wakes up.
00:34:22.800 --> 00:34:23.599
What the hell?
00:34:25.199 --> 00:34:33.840
You know, now we laugh at that because as married men, we know that our wives always have something for us to do.
00:34:34.559 --> 00:34:35.280
Yeah, yeah.
00:34:35.519 --> 00:34:39.199
They always have something, and if we're not doing anything, what are you doing today?
00:34:39.280 --> 00:34:39.519
Nothing.
00:34:39.599 --> 00:34:41.119
She just looks at me like I'm an alien.
00:34:41.280 --> 00:34:41.599
Nothing.
00:34:41.760 --> 00:34:42.480
You have nothing.
00:34:42.559 --> 00:34:44.320
No, but that's deliberately.
00:34:44.480 --> 00:34:45.440
I have nothing to do.
00:34:45.599 --> 00:34:50.400
Now, I could be doing something, but I have nothing to do today, deliberately.
00:34:50.559 --> 00:34:54.239
I've had to, I've had to change the words to I'm resting.
00:34:55.280 --> 00:34:56.480
Is that doing something?
00:34:56.639 --> 00:34:57.039
Right, right.
00:34:57.199 --> 00:34:58.000
It's I'm not doing that.
00:34:58.239 --> 00:34:58.639
No, good.
00:34:58.719 --> 00:34:59.679
Then you can help me with this.
00:34:59.840 --> 00:35:00.159
Yes.
00:35:00.320 --> 00:35:01.280
I'm no, I'm resting.
00:35:01.519 --> 00:35:01.920
I'm resting.
00:35:02.079 --> 00:35:02.559
I'm resting.
00:35:02.639 --> 00:35:02.800
Right.
00:35:03.440 --> 00:35:05.840
I don't have anywhere to go by design.
00:35:06.079 --> 00:35:09.039
Not because I don't have anywhere to go, you know.
00:35:10.000 --> 00:35:20.320
And that's that's one of the things I've I've had to explain with my family, because you know, some listeners don't know that you know, I I do have uh a business that I've started, but I also work full-time.
00:35:20.400 --> 00:35:20.639
Right.
00:35:20.719 --> 00:35:20.960
Right.
00:35:21.119 --> 00:35:24.639
And since I my full-time work is international sales, right?
00:35:24.800 --> 00:35:27.840
So I'm awake when the people across the pond is awake.
00:35:27.920 --> 00:35:30.000
They've work a flipped schedule, right?
00:35:30.159 --> 00:35:34.960
And then you know, I handle stuff for the business, you know, through the mornings and stuff like that, get my sleep.
00:35:35.039 --> 00:35:37.679
So a lot of times, you know, I've been going, going, going.
00:35:37.840 --> 00:35:40.159
And so there are times that I need to just do nothing.
00:35:40.400 --> 00:35:40.880
Do nothing.
00:35:41.039 --> 00:35:41.920
I need to rest.
00:35:42.320 --> 00:35:45.119
And that's like, oh, that rest, oh, whoa, what you got going?
00:35:45.519 --> 00:35:46.880
It's like nothing.
00:35:47.039 --> 00:35:47.840
I mean, resting.
00:35:48.639 --> 00:35:49.199
It's rested.
00:35:49.360 --> 00:36:08.639
But but one of the things that we we hear about, like you said, that that respect and respect and sub and submission are two different things, but when we submit to our wives and our wives submit to us in a healthy marriage, there's things that I don't want to do, and I was just like, yeah, I'll do that.
00:36:08.800 --> 00:36:19.039
Like there's certain things I would do if I was a single man in my house freely, that she would she has preferences and some, okay, out of respect for you, I'm not gonna do that.
00:36:19.119 --> 00:36:19.360
Right.
00:36:19.519 --> 00:36:21.440
You know, and it should be vice versa.
00:36:21.599 --> 00:36:25.039
It should be when we talk about women submitting to a husband.
00:36:25.280 --> 00:36:27.039
Oh, that's a dirty word, though, for women.
00:36:27.440 --> 00:36:33.199
That's where that respect thing comes into play because women are often willing to submit to their bosses, like you said.
00:36:33.280 --> 00:36:38.559
Yeah, they're willing to show that respect to them and they will justify, well, that's my boss.
00:36:38.719 --> 00:36:39.199
Right.
00:36:39.519 --> 00:36:41.280
But I am your husband.
00:36:41.440 --> 00:36:41.760
Right.
00:36:42.000 --> 00:36:44.239
You made a vow to me, right?
00:36:44.480 --> 00:36:46.960
Well, I made an agreement with the company when I got hired.
00:36:47.119 --> 00:36:49.039
Yeah, but you made a vow, right?
00:36:49.199 --> 00:36:49.599
Right.
00:36:49.920 --> 00:36:56.880
And I think that a lot of times we we don't recognize where we submit unto each other.
00:36:57.039 --> 00:36:57.199
Right.
00:36:57.360 --> 00:37:01.679
The same way what we started this off with when I said, you know, yeah, I do all this stuff for my wife.
00:37:01.760 --> 00:37:02.000
Right.
00:37:02.159 --> 00:37:03.920
You know, he was oh, he whooped.
00:37:04.000 --> 00:37:08.320
Well, shoot, if whooped is she rub my back every night till I fall asleep.
00:37:08.480 --> 00:37:08.559
Right.
00:37:08.719 --> 00:37:09.920
Well, okay.
00:37:10.239 --> 00:37:10.400
Okay.
00:37:11.360 --> 00:37:14.320
Like, yeah, that's that I got I got perks too.
00:37:14.400 --> 00:37:14.559
Yeah.
00:37:15.039 --> 00:37:16.159
She submit unto me.
00:37:16.239 --> 00:37:21.360
I'm showing her love and I'm bringing her a lot of value, and she in turn is bringing me a lot of value.
00:37:21.519 --> 00:37:25.920
And a lot of times our pride says, Well, she don't do this for me, so I'm not gonna do that for her.
00:37:26.079 --> 00:37:31.519
And in my experience is looking at biblically, husbands love your wives like Christmas church.
00:37:31.599 --> 00:37:33.360
Yeah, and the wives submit that to your husband.
00:37:33.519 --> 00:37:33.760
Right.
00:37:34.079 --> 00:37:38.239
That wives come submit to your husband came after the love your wives.
00:37:38.320 --> 00:37:38.400
Right.
00:37:38.559 --> 00:37:43.360
And what I have found when I loved her into submission is I can't keep up with her love.
00:37:43.440 --> 00:37:43.760
Yeah.
00:37:43.920 --> 00:37:44.239
Right?
00:37:44.480 --> 00:37:46.719
And no, she does annoying me and she does it on purpose.
00:37:46.880 --> 00:37:49.440
Like they, they, the three of them do it, right?
00:37:50.480 --> 00:37:53.679
They all get together and let's see if we can get them yelling.
00:37:53.920 --> 00:37:55.039
They know I get fussy.
00:37:55.199 --> 00:37:56.480
Let's get them fussing.
00:37:56.719 --> 00:38:00.239
But at the end of the day, I know that I'm loved, I'm respected.
00:38:00.480 --> 00:38:15.519
And the reason why I'm loved and respected is because I put a lot of intentional work into my character, and because I brought a lot of character to the table, I recognize my value was much higher than what I thought it was when I was a kid.
00:38:15.679 --> 00:38:15.840
Right.
00:38:16.000 --> 00:38:19.360
You know, because I listened to what other people said, how they made me feel.
00:38:19.599 --> 00:38:21.599
So I devalued self.
00:38:21.920 --> 00:38:33.679
And then one of the ways that I was able to say now I am a high value man is because I've been incredibly intentional by working on those character things, by doing though the very thing we're talking about today.
00:38:33.920 --> 00:38:34.239
Okay.
00:38:34.559 --> 00:38:35.119
I like that.
00:38:35.280 --> 00:38:36.559
We're gonna end on that note.
00:38:36.639 --> 00:38:55.199
You are a high-value person, and you are, and in order to be a high value person, you got to first value yourself, understand that, and then you have to demonstrate the behaviors, yeah, right, that a high value person would demonstrate.
00:38:55.440 --> 00:39:07.119
Which is interesting because we're talking about character, and the other definition that you should defined of character was playing another person or playing a TV figure or something like that, right?
00:39:07.440 --> 00:39:07.519
Right.
00:39:07.679 --> 00:39:12.000
So what what we really say is that you high value, so act like it.
00:39:12.159 --> 00:39:12.800
Right.
00:39:13.280 --> 00:39:13.599
Right.
00:39:13.920 --> 00:39:15.440
You know your value, act like it.
00:39:15.599 --> 00:39:17.679
Okay, this is the Father Factor.
00:39:17.760 --> 00:39:19.920
I'm Byron, your host, co-host, Josh.
00:39:20.000 --> 00:39:20.559
How you doing?
00:39:20.880 --> 00:39:22.079
Good, good, good, good.
00:39:22.320 --> 00:39:27.119
Okay, so we're going to encourage you to uh share the podcast.
00:39:27.360 --> 00:39:32.239
We want to give a shout out to Ernest Barbecue Ribbs and Frisco.
00:39:32.320 --> 00:39:36.639
If you're in Frisco, you go by and see Ernest, you tell them the Father Factor sent you.
00:39:37.360 --> 00:39:41.679
Until next time, remember, all your children are equally yours.
00:39:43.760 --> 00:39:44.559
Hey, thank you.
00:39:44.639 --> 00:39:47.280
This is Byron, the Father Factor Podcast.
00:39:47.440 --> 00:39:48.320
Thank you for listening.
00:39:48.480 --> 00:39:51.920
If you like what you heard, subscribe and share.
00:39:52.079 --> 00:39:53.840
And tell us your thoughts.
00:39:54.000 --> 00:39:55.440
We'd like to hear from you.
00:39:55.599 --> 00:39:58.559
Perhaps you can be on our show.
00:39:58.800 --> 00:40:03.920
And to the fathers out there, remember, all your children are equally yours.
00:40:07.280 --> 00:40:10.239
It takes more than eggs to be a man.
00:40:11.039 --> 00:40:15.360
Oh yeah, it takes more than sex to be a dad.
00:40:15.840 --> 00:40:20.159
Oh yeah, it takes more than good to beat the bad.
00:40:20.639 --> 00:40:26.320
Oh yeah, it takes more, it takes more, more, more, more.