WEBVTT
00:00:02.560 --> 00:00:04.400
Okay, imagine this.
00:00:04.719 --> 00:00:07.040
You finally sit down for the evening.
00:00:07.200 --> 00:00:08.480
The dishes are done.
00:00:08.640 --> 00:00:10.880
Your phone is charging across the room.
00:00:11.119 --> 00:00:18.640
There's a show you've been looking forward to watch, and for once, nothing needs your attention.
00:00:19.440 --> 00:00:22.719
But conversation from earlier slips into your mind.
00:00:23.039 --> 00:00:25.440
Maybe you came across a little harsh.
00:00:25.679 --> 00:00:28.160
Maybe you should have explained yourself differently.
00:00:28.399 --> 00:00:30.239
You notice what you're doing.
00:00:30.559 --> 00:00:32.799
Okay, I'm overthinking.
00:00:33.039 --> 00:00:34.000
Let's go.
00:00:34.240 --> 00:00:36.640
You turn back towards the television.
00:00:36.880 --> 00:00:40.960
30 seconds later, you're thinking about the conversation again.
00:00:41.200 --> 00:00:42.960
And now you're irritated.
00:00:43.280 --> 00:00:44.240
Seriously?
00:00:44.479 --> 00:00:45.920
I've already dealt with this.
00:00:46.000 --> 00:00:48.159
Why am I still thinking about it?
00:00:48.640 --> 00:00:50.560
You try to focus harder.
00:00:50.719 --> 00:00:52.640
You check whether you feel calm.
00:00:53.039 --> 00:00:56.719
You wonder whether you're using the right coping skill.
00:00:57.119 --> 00:00:59.359
Then another thought shows up.
00:00:59.600 --> 00:01:02.399
What if I'm always going to be like this?
00:01:02.719 --> 00:01:06.159
The show is still playing, but you've missed most of it.
00:01:06.400 --> 00:01:12.879
Somewhere along the way, the original conversation becomes less important than the new question.
00:01:13.200 --> 00:01:15.760
Why can't I get my mind to stop?
00:01:17.040 --> 00:01:22.959
You sat down to rest, then turned rest into another test you haven't passed.
00:01:23.200 --> 00:01:26.719
If that sounds familiar, let's spend a few minutes here.
00:01:26.959 --> 00:01:28.799
Welcome to the Everyday Recent.
00:01:29.040 --> 00:01:30.400
I'm Solomon Richburg.
00:01:30.480 --> 00:01:34.560
I'm a licensed therapist and the creator of CBC Comcards.
00:01:34.879 --> 00:01:38.959
One situation, one skill, one next step.
00:01:39.280 --> 00:01:47.760
This podcast provides general education, not therapy, diagnosis, or individualized mental health advice.
00:01:48.159 --> 00:01:52.319
Listening does not establish a therapist-client relationship.
00:01:52.560 --> 00:01:58.000
Today we're talking about what happens when you start overthinking your overthinking.
00:01:58.400 --> 00:02:04.799
Because sometimes the hardest part of having a busy mind is how you treat yourself for having one.
00:02:05.359 --> 00:02:09.360
At first, you're thinking about something that happened.
00:02:09.520 --> 00:02:12.719
Then you start judging the fact that you're still thinking about it.
00:02:12.960 --> 00:02:14.639
I should be better at this.
00:02:14.879 --> 00:02:16.960
And know what I'm supposed to do.
00:02:17.360 --> 00:02:19.919
Why can't I just enjoy my evening?
00:02:20.159 --> 00:02:24.080
That can feel especially frustrating when you've been making an effort.
00:02:24.319 --> 00:02:29.280
Maybe you've gone to therapy, maybe you've read the books or practiced some skills.
00:02:29.439 --> 00:02:34.879
You've recognized the pattern and you expect that recognizing should make it disappear.
00:02:35.120 --> 00:02:40.479
So when the thought comes back, you take that as evidence that you're doing something wrong.
00:02:40.800 --> 00:02:43.840
Let me offer you a different way to practice tonight.
00:02:44.080 --> 00:02:47.280
Instead of asking, have I stopped thinking about it yet?
00:02:47.520 --> 00:02:51.840
Try asking, What would I like to give my attention to right now?
00:02:52.159 --> 00:02:54.240
That's the skill for this episode.
00:02:54.560 --> 00:03:01.599
Gently return your attention to something you've chosen, even when the thoughts are still there.
00:03:02.000 --> 00:03:06.639
You don't have to win an argument with your mind before you participate in your evening.
00:03:06.800 --> 00:03:08.800
Let's go back to that couch.
00:03:09.199 --> 00:03:15.599
The conversation pops up again, and your first reaction is, here we go, I'm doing it again.
00:03:16.000 --> 00:03:20.960
For this practice, you might simply notice I'm getting caught up in the loop.
00:03:21.280 --> 00:03:22.400
Keep it brief.
00:03:22.639 --> 00:03:27.919
You don't need to explain the thought, inspect it, or find the perfect phrase.
00:03:28.240 --> 00:03:31.919
Then return to something concrete in the activity you've chose.
00:03:32.479 --> 00:03:34.479
Sit to the next line of dialogue.
00:03:34.800 --> 00:03:36.879
Notice what's happening in the scene.
00:03:37.120 --> 00:03:40.879
When your attention wanders again, return again.
00:03:41.199 --> 00:03:44.879
That wandering is something to notice and respond to.
00:03:45.199 --> 00:03:49.360
You don't need to add a speech about how badly you're doing.
00:03:49.680 --> 00:03:52.400
Now I can almost hear the question.
00:03:52.639 --> 00:03:58.479
But solemnly, what if I return to the show and I'm still thinking about the conversation?
00:03:58.960 --> 00:04:00.560
That can happen too.
00:04:00.879 --> 00:04:04.080
You might hear the dialogue and still feel unsettled.
00:04:04.319 --> 00:04:09.520
You might enjoy a small part of the scene, then notice your mind pulling you back.
00:04:09.840 --> 00:04:12.719
The practice doesn't require a quiet mind.
00:04:12.960 --> 00:04:15.680
Try measuring it by the return itself.
00:04:15.919 --> 00:04:22.160
You notice where your attention went and you brought some of it back to what you wanted to be doing.
00:04:22.480 --> 00:04:24.240
Let's give that a try.
00:04:24.560 --> 00:04:30.720
If you're driving or doing anything that requires full attention, stay focused on that activity.
00:04:30.959 --> 00:04:32.879
You can practice this later.
00:04:33.199 --> 00:04:39.600
Otherwise, think of an ordinary activity you would like to return to after this episode.
00:04:39.920 --> 00:04:46.399
This might be finishing a meal, listening to someone folding laundry or reading a page.
00:04:46.720 --> 00:04:50.160
Choose something small enough that you can actually begin.
00:04:50.399 --> 00:04:54.959
Now imagine that familiar thought showing up halfway through.
00:04:56.480 --> 00:04:59.680
Maybe it's you still haven't figured this out.
00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:03.120
Or you shouldn't feel this way anymore.
00:05:03.920 --> 00:05:08.000
Notice the pull to drop everything and work on your mind again.
00:05:08.240 --> 00:05:12.319
Then let your next action be part of the activity you choose.
00:05:12.720 --> 00:05:19.199
Fold the next shirt, read the next sentence, listen to the person's next few words.
00:05:19.439 --> 00:05:22.639
Give yourself a moment to picture doing that.
00:05:24.079 --> 00:05:28.480
You may have noticed an urge to ask whether the excuse worked.
00:05:28.800 --> 00:05:33.600
For this practice, you don't need to keep checking how calm you feel.
00:05:33.920 --> 00:05:37.680
Let yourself continue with the activity for a little while.
00:05:39.040 --> 00:05:41.920
And let's make an important distinction here.
00:05:42.319 --> 00:05:45.519
Sometimes there's really something to address.
00:05:46.160 --> 00:05:48.160
You owe someone an apology.
00:05:48.399 --> 00:05:50.000
A bill needs pain.
00:05:50.319 --> 00:05:52.319
A decision needs attention.
00:05:52.560 --> 00:05:54.959
Take useful action when it's needed.
00:05:55.279 --> 00:06:04.560
This exercise is for those moments when you're repeatedly turning the same material over and criticizing yourself for still having it on your mind.
00:06:05.279 --> 00:06:14.639
If worrying is regularly interfering with your sleep, relationships, or everyday functioning, being professional support is a reasonable next step.
00:06:14.800 --> 00:06:19.040
But as far as tonight, return to the person on the couch.
00:06:19.360 --> 00:06:27.439
The thought shows up again, they notice it, they turn towards the screen and catch the next line.
00:06:27.680 --> 00:06:31.759
A few minutes later, they laugh at something they would have missed.
00:06:32.079 --> 00:06:40.879
The conversation may still come back, but there was a moment of participation, a little room for the evening they wanted to have.
00:06:41.600 --> 00:06:43.519
That's a place to begin.
00:06:44.000 --> 00:06:48.639
Before you go, choose one activity you'll return to today.
00:06:49.040 --> 00:06:50.720
Keep the goals small.
00:06:51.040 --> 00:06:55.920
One sentence, one small task, one moment of listening.
00:06:56.319 --> 00:07:04.079
If you find it useful to have a physical reminder nearby, I created the CBC Calm Cars as a portable resource.
00:07:04.240 --> 00:07:06.959
You can find them through the link in the show notes.
00:07:07.199 --> 00:07:09.120
Purchasing is optional.
00:07:09.519 --> 00:07:12.800
You can practice today's skill without buying anything.
00:07:13.439 --> 00:07:20.800
If this episode put words to something you've been experiencing, share it with someone who might recognize that same struggle.
00:07:21.040 --> 00:07:24.720
I'm Solomon Richburg, and this is the everyday reset.
00:07:24.959 --> 00:07:28.800
One situation, one skill, one next step.
00:07:29.120 --> 00:07:31.839
Champions are built one skill at a time.
00:00:02.560 --> 00:00:04.400
Okay, imagine this.
00:00:04.719 --> 00:00:07.040
You finally sit down for the evening.
00:00:07.200 --> 00:00:08.480
The dishes are done.
00:00:08.640 --> 00:00:10.880
Your phone is charging across the room.
00:00:11.119 --> 00:00:18.640
There's a show you've been looking forward to watch, and for once, nothing needs your attention.
00:00:19.440 --> 00:00:22.719
But conversation from earlier slips into your mind.
00:00:23.039 --> 00:00:25.440
Maybe you came across a little harsh.
00:00:25.679 --> 00:00:28.160
Maybe you should have explained yourself differently.
00:00:28.399 --> 00:00:30.239
You notice what you're doing.
00:00:30.559 --> 00:00:32.799
Okay, I'm overthinking.
00:00:33.039 --> 00:00:34.000
Let's go.
00:00:34.240 --> 00:00:36.640
You turn back towards the television.
00:00:36.880 --> 00:00:40.960
30 seconds later, you're thinking about the conversation again.
00:00:41.200 --> 00:00:42.960
And now you're irritated.
00:00:43.280 --> 00:00:44.240
Seriously?
00:00:44.479 --> 00:00:45.920
I've already dealt with this.
00:00:46.000 --> 00:00:48.159
Why am I still thinking about it?
00:00:48.640 --> 00:00:50.560
You try to focus harder.
00:00:50.719 --> 00:00:52.640
You check whether you feel calm.
00:00:53.039 --> 00:00:56.719
You wonder whether you're using the right coping skill.
00:00:57.119 --> 00:00:59.359
Then another thought shows up.
00:00:59.600 --> 00:01:02.399
What if I'm always going to be like this?
00:01:02.719 --> 00:01:06.159
The show is still playing, but you've missed most of it.
00:01:06.400 --> 00:01:12.879
Somewhere along the way, the original conversation becomes less important than the new question.
00:01:13.200 --> 00:01:15.760
Why can't I get my mind to stop?
00:01:17.040 --> 00:01:22.959
You sat down to rest, then turned rest into another test you haven't passed.
00:01:23.200 --> 00:01:26.719
If that sounds familiar, let's spend a few minutes here.
00:01:26.959 --> 00:01:28.799
Welcome to the Everyday Recent.
00:01:29.040 --> 00:01:30.400
I'm Solomon Richburg.
00:01:30.480 --> 00:01:34.560
I'm a licensed therapist and the creator of CBC Comcards.
00:01:34.879 --> 00:01:38.959
One situation, one skill, one next step.
00:01:39.280 --> 00:01:47.760
This podcast provides general education, not therapy, diagnosis, or individualized mental health advice.
00:01:48.159 --> 00:01:52.319
Listening does not establish a therapist-client relationship.
00:01:52.560 --> 00:01:58.000
Today we're talking about what happens when you start overthinking your overthinking.
00:01:58.400 --> 00:02:04.799
Because sometimes the hardest part of having a busy mind is how you treat yourself for having one.
00:02:05.359 --> 00:02:09.360
At first, you're thinking about something that happened.
00:02:09.520 --> 00:02:12.719
Then you start judging the fact that you're still thinking about it.
00:02:12.960 --> 00:02:14.639
I should be better at this.
00:02:14.879 --> 00:02:16.960
And know what I'm supposed to do.
00:02:17.360 --> 00:02:19.919
Why can't I just enjoy my evening?
00:02:20.159 --> 00:02:24.080
That can feel especially frustrating when you've been making an effort.
00:02:24.319 --> 00:02:29.280
Maybe you've gone to therapy, maybe you've read the books or practiced some skills.
00:02:29.439 --> 00:02:34.879
You've recognized the pattern and you expect that recognizing should make it disappear.
00:02:35.120 --> 00:02:40.479
So when the thought comes back, you take that as evidence that you're doing something wrong.
00:02:40.800 --> 00:02:43.840
Let me offer you a different way to practice tonight.
00:02:44.080 --> 00:02:47.280
Instead of asking, have I stopped thinking about it yet?
00:02:47.520 --> 00:02:51.840
Try asking, What would I like to give my attention to right now?
00:02:52.159 --> 00:02:54.240
That's the skill for this episode.
00:02:54.560 --> 00:03:01.599
Gently return your attention to something you've chosen, even when the thoughts are still there.
00:03:02.000 --> 00:03:06.639
You don't have to win an argument with your mind before you participate in your evening.
00:03:06.800 --> 00:03:08.800
Let's go back to that couch.
00:03:09.199 --> 00:03:15.599
The conversation pops up again, and your first reaction is, here we go, I'm doing it again.
00:03:16.000 --> 00:03:20.960
For this practice, you might simply notice I'm getting caught up in the loop.
00:03:21.280 --> 00:03:22.400
Keep it brief.
00:03:22.639 --> 00:03:27.919
You don't need to explain the thought, inspect it, or find the perfect phrase.
00:03:28.240 --> 00:03:31.919
Then return to something concrete in the activity you've chose.
00:03:32.479 --> 00:03:34.479
Sit to the next line of dialogue.
00:03:34.800 --> 00:03:36.879
Notice what's happening in the scene.
00:03:37.120 --> 00:03:40.879
When your attention wanders again, return again.
00:03:41.199 --> 00:03:44.879
That wandering is something to notice and respond to.
00:03:45.199 --> 00:03:49.360
You don't need to add a speech about how badly you're doing.
00:03:49.680 --> 00:03:52.400
Now I can almost hear the question.
00:03:52.639 --> 00:03:58.479
But solemnly, what if I return to the show and I'm still thinking about the conversation?
00:03:58.960 --> 00:04:00.560
That can happen too.
00:04:00.879 --> 00:04:04.080
You might hear the dialogue and still feel unsettled.
00:04:04.319 --> 00:04:09.520
You might enjoy a small part of the scene, then notice your mind pulling you back.
00:04:09.840 --> 00:04:12.719
The practice doesn't require a quiet mind.
00:04:12.960 --> 00:04:15.680
Try measuring it by the return itself.
00:04:15.919 --> 00:04:22.160
You notice where your attention went and you brought some of it back to what you wanted to be doing.
00:04:22.480 --> 00:04:24.240
Let's give that a try.
00:04:24.560 --> 00:04:30.720
If you're driving or doing anything that requires full attention, stay focused on that activity.
00:04:30.959 --> 00:04:32.879
You can practice this later.
00:04:33.199 --> 00:04:39.600
Otherwise, think of an ordinary activity you would like to return to after this episode.
00:04:39.920 --> 00:04:46.399
This might be finishing a meal, listening to someone folding laundry or reading a page.
00:04:46.720 --> 00:04:50.160
Choose something small enough that you can actually begin.
00:04:50.399 --> 00:04:54.959
Now imagine that familiar thought showing up halfway through.
00:04:56.480 --> 00:04:59.680
Maybe it's you still haven't figured this out.
00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:03.120
Or you shouldn't feel this way anymore.
00:05:03.920 --> 00:05:08.000
Notice the pull to drop everything and work on your mind again.
00:05:08.240 --> 00:05:12.319
Then let your next action be part of the activity you choose.
00:05:12.720 --> 00:05:19.199
Fold the next shirt, read the next sentence, listen to the person's next few words.
00:05:19.439 --> 00:05:22.639
Give yourself a moment to picture doing that.
00:05:24.079 --> 00:05:28.480
You may have noticed an urge to ask whether the excuse worked.
00:05:28.800 --> 00:05:33.600
For this practice, you don't need to keep checking how calm you feel.
00:05:33.920 --> 00:05:37.680
Let yourself continue with the activity for a little while.
00:05:39.040 --> 00:05:41.920
And let's make an important distinction here.
00:05:42.319 --> 00:05:45.519
Sometimes there's really something to address.
00:05:46.160 --> 00:05:48.160
You owe someone an apology.
00:05:48.399 --> 00:05:50.000
A bill needs pain.
00:05:50.319 --> 00:05:52.319
A decision needs attention.
00:05:52.560 --> 00:05:54.959
Take useful action when it's needed.
00:05:55.279 --> 00:06:04.560
This exercise is for those moments when you're repeatedly turning the same material over and criticizing yourself for still having it on your mind.
00:06:05.279 --> 00:06:14.639
If worrying is regularly interfering with your sleep, relationships, or everyday functioning, being professional support is a reasonable next step.
00:06:14.800 --> 00:06:19.040
But as far as tonight, return to the person on the couch.
00:06:19.360 --> 00:06:27.439
The thought shows up again, they notice it, they turn towards the screen and catch the next line.
00:06:27.680 --> 00:06:31.759
A few minutes later, they laugh at something they would have missed.
00:06:32.079 --> 00:06:40.879
The conversation may still come back, but there was a moment of participation, a little room for the evening they wanted to have.
00:06:41.600 --> 00:06:43.519
That's a place to begin.
00:06:44.000 --> 00:06:48.639
Before you go, choose one activity you'll return to today.
00:06:49.040 --> 00:06:50.720
Keep the goals small.
00:06:51.040 --> 00:06:55.920
One sentence, one small task, one moment of listening.
00:06:56.319 --> 00:07:04.079
If you find it useful to have a physical reminder nearby, I created the CBC Calm Cars as a portable resource.
00:07:04.240 --> 00:07:06.959
You can find them through the link in the show notes.
00:07:07.199 --> 00:07:09.120
Purchasing is optional.
00:07:09.519 --> 00:07:12.800
You can practice today's skill without buying anything.
00:07:13.439 --> 00:07:20.800
If this episode put words to something you've been experiencing, share it with someone who might recognize that same struggle.
00:07:21.040 --> 00:07:24.720
I'm Solomon Richburg, and this is the everyday reset.
00:07:24.959 --> 00:07:28.800
One situation, one skill, one next step.
00:07:29.120 --> 00:07:31.839
Champions are built one skill at a time.
