Ben Lehnert: We're going to talk about mentors. Every successful entrepreneur has them. how do you find the right mentor? How do you ⁓ out to someone that's a really either famous or very accomplished person, someone that you look up to, but don't have a direct relationship with yet? How do you reach out to that person to ask them if they are? okay with mentoring you if they would be interested in mentoring you specifically. we want to talk about that today. We will start with what a ⁓ good relationship and how you build it, how you reach out. So Derek, let's get into it.
Derek Lidow: Okay, so mentor is different than an advisor or... mentor relationship has an emotional bond that's created where the mentor cares you being successful. rather than it being a monetary transaction, which would be the case of an advisor or the case of a coach who may not get paid directly to help you, whose primary goal is just to make sure that you're good at a specific skill and they'll help you practice it and get better at that. And so that's coaching. A mentor is there to... to help you understand how to be successful. And a great mentor is enormously, enormously valuable. it's important that the mentor have more experience than you. And it's when that experience
Ben Lehnert: Mm-hmm.
Derek Lidow: relates to what it is that you want to accomplish. role models, that are role models ⁓ incredibly powerful. wanna like so-and-so and successful like so-and-so. But if you know that person, ⁓ that can be very scary to
Ben Lehnert: Mm-hmm.
Derek Lidow: and people are often ⁓ about approaching strangers and indeed, you know... somebody who's worked with a lot of entrepreneurs, ⁓ get approached all the time and say Unfortunately, I don't the time. And so ⁓ that fear of turned down also makes it super you know, for a person go reach out to, ⁓ you know, somebody that they But it is possible. so, ⁓ know, we wrote about it in the newsletter and is important thing to talk about.
Ben Lehnert: Yeah. And, you know, one thing is the apprehension to even reach out. Then on the other side, what we also often see is that there are some founders that are highly confident and they send an generated ⁓ sounding email or message ⁓ to person that they admire and want them to become their mentor. And that also obviously because if you are reaching out to people that ⁓ are busy often still running businesses successfully and they're getting an email that sounds very generic and has no personal in it at all, then naturally ⁓ would someone care? So today we want to pick these things apart ⁓ hopefully on the one hand give you tools on how to create a real relationship. And in turn then with those tools and skills that you develop, lose a little bit of that fear and apprehension to reach out in ⁓ first place because you know that you're well equipped to write a very personal introduction ⁓ build personal relationship with your potential mentor. let's dive into that.
Derek Lidow: Yeah, so I should say that a prerequisite. We're going to talk, or I'm going to talk about shared objectives and relationship building skills, ⁓ which we into depth in one our ⁓ so sprints.
Ben Lehnert: Yes.
Derek Lidow: eight, nine, and 10 talk about relationship building and how a relationship is based upon two people sharing an objective. So go and listen to that sprint. It only takes about 12 or 15 minutes or something like that. But I'm talk about the specific of how you use the relationship building skills to ⁓ approach a potential mentor. And it involves this shared objective. So what do you with this stranger, okay, who you admire? Well, you do share a ⁓ to that person feel good about what they have accomplished. ⁓ So you're to make that person feel happy, know, you know and admire
Ben Lehnert: Mm-hmm.
Derek Lidow: for what they've accomplished. So that is what you're offering them. And you're offering them that as, know, the ⁓ ⁓ modern day marketing of as a freebie. You're gonna give them sincere reasons admiring what they've done and how they've it, okay? When you do that, that hugely increases the probability that the person is going to read your email, your outrage, maybe your DM. if they feel that you're sincere, they will be to What you want to do with, hey, here's why I really admire what you've done, is that you want to end it with ⁓ asking them a ⁓ short
Ben Lehnert: Mm-hmm.
Derek Lidow: bit of advice, something that's really easy that they can answer in a one-liner. Hey, you know, would really value ⁓ advice in, ⁓ know, how I'm about whether not to, you know, create startup on this or on that. And... So you're giving the opportunity of the person to respond to you with, hey, know, I can't say that I can give you ⁓ advice, but this sounds much better than that. Okay. Thank you very much. I really appreciate your reaching out. And they send it back to you. Okay. Well, when send that back to you, ⁓ That gives you the opportunity to say, I took your advice and it turned out really well for me. I want to thank you so much for doing that. the chances of the person reading that are very high. They'll feel good that they gave you good advice. be a little more intrigued. They'll certainly remember you now. And this gives you the opportunity to ask ⁓ for bit of advice. This one can be a little more...
Ben Lehnert: Mm-hmm.
Derek Lidow: little deeper. The first one, you're writing an essay. You're not writing three paragraphs. You're just writing two ⁓ sentences. is what I'd like your advice on.
Ben Lehnert: Mm-hmm, very important.
Derek Lidow: But the second time, you can write one paragraph, full paragraph, and maybe, maybe a little bit of the second paragraph asking for, you know, again, their advice. They should be able to give you the advice in paragraph. So don't ask them to write an essay or analyze something for you at this point. But by making that second request just a little deeper, a little more thoughtful, you're creating this relationship with them where they know who you are, getting to know a little bit about how you think, getting to feel good about the advice that they can give you. And they'll answer you again. So at that point, you're no longer a stranger.
Ben Lehnert: Mm-hmm.
Derek Lidow: What's the best thing that you could do is if you're close enough, okay, is just to offer, can I just come by and say thank you? On the second piece of advice, wow, it was fantastic. What happened? It was amazing. It would be great if I happen to be coming. to the neighborhood near you, could I just shake your hand and thank you? ⁓ not ask for coffee. That's 15 is way too much time to ask for. You're just asking for enough to go shake hands and say thank you in person. It's quite hard for somebody to, you know, don't want you to thank me. It may be a little complicated in terms of how this ⁓ happens. they have an office or a place of business, it's sort of like, sure, if you're in the area, you know, ⁓ I'll out and shake your hand. That's not ⁓ you know, much and they'll do that. Even when they do that and they meet you in ⁓ Tell them how much you admire them again. Tell them how much their advice has enabled to be more successful than you could have done without it. And you somebody that you can reach out to ⁓ on occasion and ask for advice. And they'll, they care about you.
Ben Lehnert: a few things to pull out from this because we have spoken to entrepreneurs about specifically this topic. One, ⁓ before you even out ⁓ to a potential it's important that you do lots ⁓ of research. You to not just reach out to someone because they're famous or they just made a lot of money. You want there to be sincere interest in the person and you want to really know as much about the person as possible because it allows you to find more of the shared objectives and really identify what could build a deep relationship between the two of you. The second thing is sincerity. We walk you through ⁓ the mechanics of but it only works if you're truly sincere your interest in that particular and in the advice you're asking, applying the advice, because that is the only way a long-term mentorship can actually form. And then the last point is worth pointing out, as you've probably now already understood from Derek walking through, is is no short-cutting building a lasting, ⁓ valuable relationship. It will take time that you need to invest to build a really strong mentor-mentee relationship. But if you do all of those three things, there's a much, much higher chance that you actually get there ⁓ greatly from it. And not just you as the founder, but typically, and that is what Derek pointed out at the beginning, the mentor as well. And that's what makes that a very powerful, very distinct relationship. that you want to have in your founder and entrepreneur life.
Derek Lidow: your notes sincerely in your own voice. Don't ask AI to correct. ⁓ Don't ask for too much. Ask
Ben Lehnert: No, exactly.
Derek Lidow: little bit, then you can ask for just a little bit more. Don't ask them to read, your business plan or, more than ⁓ just little one or two about you are. Make it easy for them, to care about you.
Ben Lehnert: Especially the first few times you want that to be ⁓ main goal ⁓ over time that relationship will then develop and expand ⁓ you will have the deeper longer conversations. Great, so that's an important topic. We've seen it many times over. this is providing some help and guidance. As mentioned at the beginning, on the building skills specifically, we have three sprints all the way from understanding shared objectives to practicing your relationship building skills. ⁓ Make sure check those out and practice them. because they are foundational to any relationship, but especially when you want to establish a mentor relationship.
Derek Lidow: Okay, so mentor is different than an advisor or... mentor relationship has an emotional bond that's created where the mentor cares you being successful. rather than it being a monetary transaction, which would be the case of an advisor or the case of a coach who may not get paid directly to help you, whose primary goal is just to make sure that you're good at a specific skill and they'll help you practice it and get better at that. And so that's coaching. A mentor is there to... to help you understand how to be successful. And a great mentor is enormously, enormously valuable. it's important that the mentor have more experience than you. And it's when that experience
Ben Lehnert: Mm-hmm.
Derek Lidow: relates to what it is that you want to accomplish. role models, that are role models ⁓ incredibly powerful. wanna like so-and-so and successful like so-and-so. But if you know that person, ⁓ that can be very scary to
Ben Lehnert: Mm-hmm.
Derek Lidow: and people are often ⁓ about approaching strangers and indeed, you know... somebody who's worked with a lot of entrepreneurs, ⁓ get approached all the time and say Unfortunately, I don't the time. And so ⁓ that fear of turned down also makes it super you know, for a person go reach out to, ⁓ you know, somebody that they But it is possible. so, ⁓ know, we wrote about it in the newsletter and is important thing to talk about.
Ben Lehnert: Yeah. And, you know, one thing is the apprehension to even reach out. Then on the other side, what we also often see is that there are some founders that are highly confident and they send an generated ⁓ sounding email or message ⁓ to person that they admire and want them to become their mentor. And that also obviously because if you are reaching out to people that ⁓ are busy often still running businesses successfully and they're getting an email that sounds very generic and has no personal in it at all, then naturally ⁓ would someone care? So today we want to pick these things apart ⁓ hopefully on the one hand give you tools on how to create a real relationship. And in turn then with those tools and skills that you develop, lose a little bit of that fear and apprehension to reach out in ⁓ first place because you know that you're well equipped to write a very personal introduction ⁓ build personal relationship with your potential mentor. let's dive into that.
Derek Lidow: Yeah, so I should say that a prerequisite. We're going to talk, or I'm going to talk about shared objectives and relationship building skills, ⁓ which we into depth in one our ⁓ so sprints.
Ben Lehnert: Yes.
Derek Lidow: eight, nine, and 10 talk about relationship building and how a relationship is based upon two people sharing an objective. So go and listen to that sprint. It only takes about 12 or 15 minutes or something like that. But I'm talk about the specific of how you use the relationship building skills to ⁓ approach a potential mentor. And it involves this shared objective. So what do you with this stranger, okay, who you admire? Well, you do share a ⁓ to that person feel good about what they have accomplished. ⁓ So you're to make that person feel happy, know, you know and admire
Ben Lehnert: Mm-hmm.
Derek Lidow: for what they've accomplished. So that is what you're offering them. And you're offering them that as, know, the ⁓ ⁓ modern day marketing of as a freebie. You're gonna give them sincere reasons admiring what they've done and how they've it, okay? When you do that, that hugely increases the probability that the person is going to read your email, your outrage, maybe your DM. if they feel that you're sincere, they will be to What you want to do with, hey, here's why I really admire what you've done, is that you want to end it with ⁓ asking them a ⁓ short
Ben Lehnert: Mm-hmm.
Derek Lidow: bit of advice, something that's really easy that they can answer in a one-liner. Hey, you know, would really value ⁓ advice in, ⁓ know, how I'm about whether not to, you know, create startup on this or on that. And... So you're giving the opportunity of the person to respond to you with, hey, know, I can't say that I can give you ⁓ advice, but this sounds much better than that. Okay. Thank you very much. I really appreciate your reaching out. And they send it back to you. Okay. Well, when send that back to you, ⁓ That gives you the opportunity to say, I took your advice and it turned out really well for me. I want to thank you so much for doing that. the chances of the person reading that are very high. They'll feel good that they gave you good advice. be a little more intrigued. They'll certainly remember you now. And this gives you the opportunity to ask ⁓ for bit of advice. This one can be a little more...
Ben Lehnert: Mm-hmm.
Derek Lidow: little deeper. The first one, you're writing an essay. You're not writing three paragraphs. You're just writing two ⁓ sentences. is what I'd like your advice on.
Ben Lehnert: Mm-hmm, very important.
Derek Lidow: But the second time, you can write one paragraph, full paragraph, and maybe, maybe a little bit of the second paragraph asking for, you know, again, their advice. They should be able to give you the advice in paragraph. So don't ask them to write an essay or analyze something for you at this point. But by making that second request just a little deeper, a little more thoughtful, you're creating this relationship with them where they know who you are, getting to know a little bit about how you think, getting to feel good about the advice that they can give you. And they'll answer you again. So at that point, you're no longer a stranger.
Ben Lehnert: Mm-hmm.
Derek Lidow: What's the best thing that you could do is if you're close enough, okay, is just to offer, can I just come by and say thank you? On the second piece of advice, wow, it was fantastic. What happened? It was amazing. It would be great if I happen to be coming. to the neighborhood near you, could I just shake your hand and thank you? ⁓ not ask for coffee. That's 15 is way too much time to ask for. You're just asking for enough to go shake hands and say thank you in person. It's quite hard for somebody to, you know, don't want you to thank me. It may be a little complicated in terms of how this ⁓ happens. they have an office or a place of business, it's sort of like, sure, if you're in the area, you know, ⁓ I'll out and shake your hand. That's not ⁓ you know, much and they'll do that. Even when they do that and they meet you in ⁓ Tell them how much you admire them again. Tell them how much their advice has enabled to be more successful than you could have done without it. And you somebody that you can reach out to ⁓ on occasion and ask for advice. And they'll, they care about you.
Ben Lehnert: a few things to pull out from this because we have spoken to entrepreneurs about specifically this topic. One, ⁓ before you even out ⁓ to a potential it's important that you do lots ⁓ of research. You to not just reach out to someone because they're famous or they just made a lot of money. You want there to be sincere interest in the person and you want to really know as much about the person as possible because it allows you to find more of the shared objectives and really identify what could build a deep relationship between the two of you. The second thing is sincerity. We walk you through ⁓ the mechanics of but it only works if you're truly sincere your interest in that particular and in the advice you're asking, applying the advice, because that is the only way a long-term mentorship can actually form. And then the last point is worth pointing out, as you've probably now already understood from Derek walking through, is is no short-cutting building a lasting, ⁓ valuable relationship. It will take time that you need to invest to build a really strong mentor-mentee relationship. But if you do all of those three things, there's a much, much higher chance that you actually get there ⁓ greatly from it. And not just you as the founder, but typically, and that is what Derek pointed out at the beginning, the mentor as well. And that's what makes that a very powerful, very distinct relationship. that you want to have in your founder and entrepreneur life.
Derek Lidow: your notes sincerely in your own voice. Don't ask AI to correct. ⁓ Don't ask for too much. Ask
Ben Lehnert: No, exactly.
Derek Lidow: little bit, then you can ask for just a little bit more. Don't ask them to read, your business plan or, more than ⁓ just little one or two about you are. Make it easy for them, to care about you.
Ben Lehnert: Especially the first few times you want that to be ⁓ main goal ⁓ over time that relationship will then develop and expand ⁓ you will have the deeper longer conversations. Great, so that's an important topic. We've seen it many times over. this is providing some help and guidance. As mentioned at the beginning, on the building skills specifically, we have three sprints all the way from understanding shared objectives to practicing your relationship building skills. ⁓ Make sure check those out and practice them. because they are foundational to any relationship, but especially when you want to establish a mentor relationship.
