00:00:01.199 --> 00:00:07.839
Welcome back to another episode of the Downsizing Roadmap Podcast with your hosts Jodi Rosko and Heather Fisher.
00:00:07.839 --> 00:00:13.519
We're talking about all things downsizing, from our own experiences with clients to guest experts.
00:00:13.599 --> 00:00:17.039
Let's make downsizing easier, one conversation at a time.
00:00:17.039 --> 00:00:22.160
Hi, welcome to another episode of the Downsizing Roadmap Podcast.
00:00:22.160 --> 00:00:24.079
Downsizing Regret.
00:00:24.079 --> 00:00:30.160
Have you ever asked yourself, what if I get rid of something I need later?
00:00:30.640 --> 00:00:32.799
I think that's a question we hear a lot.
00:00:32.799 --> 00:00:39.520
Um and when we do our um classes, we hear people, that's one of the things that people say, hey, well, what if I need it?
00:00:39.520 --> 00:00:44.240
Or what if I'm gonna like they're just they're just concerned about, you know.
00:00:44.240 --> 00:00:47.039
In fact, I think we just had that at our last class.
00:00:47.039 --> 00:00:50.240
That was one of the questions was, you know, what if I'm gonna need it?
00:00:50.240 --> 00:00:55.439
Like I just look at stuff and I just can't let it go because I feel like I might, I might need it.
00:00:55.520 --> 00:01:10.560
So yeah, it can be such a paralyzing thought because it can, you know, just kind of snowball once you give into that mindset, you could apply that answer or, you know, that question to everything in your house.
00:01:10.560 --> 00:01:11.040
Right.
00:01:11.040 --> 00:01:18.719
And we know from you know, the stats we give in our class, the average American home has 300,000 items.
00:01:18.719 --> 00:01:19.200
Right.
00:01:19.200 --> 00:01:21.519
And they're all kind of in that.
00:01:21.519 --> 00:01:24.560
I mean, yes, I might need it later.
00:01:24.560 --> 00:01:33.920
Um, but it's digging a little deeper to the reality of whether you actually will or not, or how big of a deal is it if you do.
00:01:34.400 --> 00:01:34.640
Right.
00:01:34.640 --> 00:01:47.519
Because I think honestly, sometimes we will we might get rid of something, and then of course, the next, you know, we've held on it for 12, 20, 30 years, and then the next month after we get rid of it, we're like, wait, didn't we have that?
00:01:47.519 --> 00:01:56.000
And it, you know, but there are so few times that that happens, I think, over you know, how many things you can let go of that I think that's something we can talk about.
00:01:56.000 --> 00:01:56.959
I'm Jodi Rosko.
00:01:56.959 --> 00:01:58.239
I'm Heather Fisher.
00:01:58.239 --> 00:02:02.480
And so, you know, number one, why does this fear feel so big?
00:02:02.480 --> 00:02:07.920
Um and I think um I think it's a mindset, actually.
00:02:07.920 --> 00:02:10.560
Um, I think that's what we were talking about when we taught that class.
00:02:10.560 --> 00:02:14.000
I think it's a mindset of um scarcity.
00:02:14.000 --> 00:02:34.000
And I think it comes from um feeling like you shouldn't waste things, feeling like you might not have the money to buy those things again later, um, you know, feeling nervous about that inability, you know, that holding on to things because you think, oh my gosh, like what if I can't get this again?
00:02:34.319 --> 00:03:06.080
Yeah, I think so many of us, whether it's generational or just um, you know, that phase in life when you're uh, you know, a young college student or you know, new to the workforce and and you just are in that more gathering mode, um, you know, you're you're accumulating things because you haven't had them before and you have them and we're just built with that DNA that's like, I need to keep these because I own them, because I might need them.
00:03:06.080 --> 00:03:29.360
And so then, you know, when we're in a a situation where we just have too much and it's having more of a negative effect on our life, preventing us from downsizing or adding to that mental clutter that we're dealing with all of the time, it's hard to switch that mindset and be okay with not having everything right there just in case.
00:03:29.680 --> 00:03:30.159
Yeah.
00:03:30.479 --> 00:03:30.800
Yeah.
00:03:30.800 --> 00:03:34.560
And I I have, I still have the ice cream maker.
00:03:34.560 --> 00:03:37.120
Okay, friends.
00:03:37.120 --> 00:03:40.000
We need to get Jody to the donation center.
00:03:40.319 --> 00:03:46.719
So I actually was talking to um, we we do uh uh locally we do a free community market.
00:03:46.719 --> 00:03:56.319
And so I was talking to one of the people that came to there, and she was giving away her juicer because she said she had, you know, it was one of those things that she thought she would do, and then she didn't.
00:03:56.319 --> 00:04:00.879
And so I'm like, I have the ice cream maper, but I hadn't brought it that day still.
00:04:00.879 --> 00:04:03.120
And she's like, I make ice cream all the time.
00:04:03.120 --> 00:04:03.840
I'll take it.
00:04:03.840 --> 00:04:05.280
My daughter will make ice cream with it.
00:04:05.280 --> 00:04:07.599
I'm like, Yeah, I will bring it next time for you.
00:04:07.599 --> 00:04:09.919
Yeah, you will get the ice cream maver.
00:04:09.919 --> 00:04:13.680
But again, like those, those things too, like I'm going to use it.
00:04:13.680 --> 00:04:22.079
Not, you know, like so, and then if you let that go, that regret of like you didn't do what you had thought you were going to do or told yourself you were going to do, right?
00:04:22.079 --> 00:04:27.519
So we have some science stuff mental because I love this, because there's always science behind our thoughts too.
00:04:27.519 --> 00:04:32.000
And so sometimes we think, uh, we're just it's a weakness or we need, you know, whatever.
00:04:32.000 --> 00:04:34.879
But there's always some science around, you know, why we're thinking.
00:04:34.879 --> 00:04:45.120
So um there was a study um done that they discovered that losing something tends to feel roughly twice as painful as gaining something of the same value.
00:04:45.120 --> 00:04:51.839
And so that's kind of that kind of stinks because like we we get that kind of dopamine hit when we get something.
00:04:51.839 --> 00:04:52.639
Yeah.
00:04:52.639 --> 00:05:00.399
But giving it away hurts twice as much as it did when of the you know, joy that we got when we got it.
00:05:00.399 --> 00:05:11.040
So, um, so that's hard, then that imbalance makes it difficult uh to get rid of things because you don't ever like to feel like you always want to feel like yay.
00:05:11.439 --> 00:05:12.560
Yes, yes.
00:05:12.560 --> 00:05:19.199
So another study we've talked about before, the endowment effect is back to the coffee mug story.
00:05:19.199 --> 00:05:27.360
The study they did um where they gave a group of college students um one half of the room they gave the mug.
00:05:27.360 --> 00:05:33.839
Uh, the second group who never owned the mug was asked what they would pay for for one.
00:05:33.839 --> 00:05:50.879
And so um the the group that had the mug was asked what they would sell it for, the other what they would buy it for, and the um owners of the mug were willing to were wanting twice as much as the buyers were willing to pay.
00:05:50.879 --> 00:06:01.680
And it was simply that ownership effect of just now being given something, but then taking that ownership feeling of it, and now I don't want to give it up.
00:06:01.680 --> 00:06:03.439
It's worth so much more.
00:06:03.439 --> 00:06:06.000
It's your job to shepherd it through life now, right?
00:06:06.000 --> 00:06:07.600
Like Yeah, yeah.
00:06:07.600 --> 00:06:15.199
So we, I mean, when you see these things in the studies, it makes so much sense why we're feeling the way we are.
00:06:15.199 --> 00:06:16.879
And um, I love it.
00:06:16.879 --> 00:06:26.240
I love when we look at the science behind it because I think once you know why you're feeling the way you are, it's much easier to shift how you feel.
00:06:26.560 --> 00:06:26.720
Right.
00:06:26.720 --> 00:06:32.720
You can accept that that is something you are thinking for a scientific reason, and then, you know, here's another one.
00:06:32.720 --> 00:06:35.199
So um it's called impact bias.
00:06:35.199 --> 00:06:42.319
And basically what it's saying is that people are really bad at predicting how they're gonna feel about future events.
00:06:42.319 --> 00:06:49.360
And so specifically, they tend to overestimate both how intense and how long-lasting their regret is going to be.
00:06:49.360 --> 00:06:54.319
So when they're holding that item, they're thinking, I'm gonna miss this like forever, like for the rest of my life so badly.
00:06:54.319 --> 00:06:56.319
And that's actually not true.
00:06:56.319 --> 00:07:02.879
Like, so um, the imagined regret is much, much more than the actual regret.
00:07:02.879 --> 00:07:09.839
And I know I've talked to you guys about, you know, getting rid of things in my kitchen and I don't even know what was in the boxes and I don't even remember it.
00:07:09.839 --> 00:07:15.600
But when I was holding those things, some sometimes I was feeling like, oh, I might need this or I might miss it.
00:07:15.600 --> 00:07:18.720
And my friend was like, You're good, you haven't used that in so long.
00:07:18.720 --> 00:07:20.800
And so I was like, You're right, I haven't.
00:07:20.800 --> 00:07:28.160
Um, but thinking that while I'm holding it, I'm thinking, oh my gosh, that feeling's gonna continue.
00:07:28.160 --> 00:07:29.920
Um, and honestly, it just didn't.
00:07:29.920 --> 00:07:34.879
Like it in fact, it so didn't continue that I don't even know what was in the boxes, like I can't even remember.
00:07:35.199 --> 00:07:49.680
Yeah, I think that ties in so well to the premise of the maybe box that we've talked about over and over, is that if you're still, you know, you're hearing the science and you're like, okay, but I don't quite trust you guys yet that that's gonna be okay.
00:07:49.680 --> 00:08:01.680
The maybe box is that perfect filler time, uh, but doing it, you know, the way we're suggesting is the key, is that you're putting the items in there and then sealing it up with that date.
00:08:01.680 --> 00:08:16.720
And if you are not feeling that regret enough the day you put things in or you quickly forget what's in the box, you just send it on its way to donation when that date comes up without opening it.
00:08:17.040 --> 00:08:18.879
Yeah, because you've really already made the decision.
00:08:18.879 --> 00:08:28.639
So you don't need to open it and make a decision again and open that whole, you know the ownership and the the fear of the question again.
00:08:29.040 --> 00:08:29.120
Right.
00:08:29.360 --> 00:08:36.799
The anticipated regret that you're gonna have and all of that, which has a big difference between the regret you've experienced for you know for real.
00:08:36.799 --> 00:08:41.519
So the only way the only reason you would open that maybe box is you know specifically what's in it, right?
00:08:41.519 --> 00:08:42.639
And you went and got it.
00:08:42.639 --> 00:08:43.279
Like that's it.
00:08:43.279 --> 00:08:44.159
Yes, that's it.
00:08:44.320 --> 00:08:44.480
Yeah.
00:08:44.799 --> 00:08:53.919
Um and so and you decided you, you know, needed to actually use it, not because you were just you know feeling regret around it, but you were gonna wear it or you were gonna use it or whatever that is.
00:08:54.000 --> 00:08:55.120
So yeah.
00:08:55.200 --> 00:08:59.279
So let's talk about what's actually irreplaceable, right?
00:08:59.279 --> 00:09:02.960
So um, and it's honestly if I mean it's not much.
00:09:02.960 --> 00:09:04.720
We've talked about that 80-20 rule a lot.
00:09:04.720 --> 00:09:12.879
You know, we only use 20% of our stuff, but um so you can ask yourself to figure out whether it's actually replaceable.
00:09:12.879 --> 00:09:22.080
There's some questions like does this serve the life that I'm actually living now, or did it serve a life that I used to live or a life that I imagined?
00:09:22.080 --> 00:09:22.720
Right?
00:09:22.720 --> 00:09:24.799
I imagined myself making ice cream.
00:09:24.799 --> 00:09:25.840
I think I did it once.
00:09:25.840 --> 00:09:26.639
We all have.
00:09:26.639 --> 00:09:28.159
I think I did it once.
00:09:28.159 --> 00:09:30.799
Um, so that was my imagined life.
00:09:30.799 --> 00:09:36.000
And so I'm like not letting go of my imagined life and still saying, Oh, I still might do that.
00:09:36.000 --> 00:09:36.960
I still might do that.
00:09:36.960 --> 00:09:42.720
But like the reality of that is I haven't and I'm probably not going to.
00:09:43.039 --> 00:09:43.360
Yeah.
00:09:43.360 --> 00:09:48.399
Um, another question if I didn't already own this, would I go out and buy it today?
00:09:48.399 --> 00:09:53.200
So that's yeah, and that can be um day-to-day things.
00:09:53.200 --> 00:09:57.200
If I don't have any silverware, am I going to go buy some?
00:09:57.200 --> 00:10:02.879
You know, that's those are the things that you're using daily out of necessity.
00:10:02.879 --> 00:10:11.039
Um, you know, that you would miss so much that you would turn right back around and go buy another if something happened to the one that you have.
00:10:11.360 --> 00:10:11.759
Yeah.
00:10:11.759 --> 00:10:16.000
Um, can this be replaced, borrowed, or substituted?
00:10:16.000 --> 00:10:21.840
Um, and what would that actually cost in time or money compared to storing it indefinitely?
00:10:21.840 --> 00:10:26.799
Um and remember, there's a there's a cost to storing things um that is mental.
00:10:26.799 --> 00:10:30.879
It's there's an anxiety cost to having too many things in your life.
00:10:30.879 --> 00:10:37.840
Um and so even if it's you're thinking there's no cost to storing it, it's just in my basement and I own my house anyway.
00:10:37.840 --> 00:10:43.120
But there is a cost to um having too many things around and a mental cost.
00:10:43.120 --> 00:10:56.159
But um, you know, sometimes substituted, sometimes you think you need some specific, you know, one you know job tool, uh, like in the kitchen, um, the avocado peeler or something, right?
00:10:56.159 --> 00:10:57.519
But you could use a knife.
00:10:57.519 --> 00:11:00.879
And so, like, do you need that specific thing?
00:11:00.879 --> 00:11:03.919
If you are in love with your avocado peeler, fantastic.
00:11:03.919 --> 00:11:05.919
Uh, you know, slicer, great.
00:11:05.919 --> 00:11:13.600
Um, but but if you, you know, it's in the drawer and it's just kind of a one-time use thing, um, and you could use a knife, uh, maybe you don't need that.
00:11:13.919 --> 00:11:26.879
Yeah, I think noticing as well when you own those things, but it's quicker and easier to grab for the knife and the, you know, or the scissors, whatever you need, and you don't need that one.
00:11:26.879 --> 00:11:31.840
You own it already, but you're not using it because it's not ease of use.
00:11:31.840 --> 00:11:36.639
Um, you know, don't fool yourself by saying, Well, yes, yeah, I'll use it.
00:11:36.639 --> 00:11:37.679
I think the borrow.
00:11:38.720 --> 00:11:39.279
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:11:39.279 --> 00:11:40.080
It's cool.
00:11:40.080 --> 00:11:42.559
You think it's a cool, you know, gadget, right?
00:11:42.559 --> 00:11:44.559
But you don't find yourself reaching for it.
00:11:44.559 --> 00:11:44.879
Yeah.
00:11:44.879 --> 00:11:48.240
Um, I think the borrow works so great with tools.
00:11:48.240 --> 00:11:57.360
Like, you know, maybe you used to use a lot of tools, but now, you know, you're gonna use a miter saw, you know, maybe once every few years, if at all.
00:11:57.360 --> 00:12:01.519
Um, maybe you used to do, you know, a lot of you know home projects or whatever.
00:12:01.519 --> 00:12:04.320
Um, but you could borrow that or you could rent that.
00:12:04.320 --> 00:12:10.399
Like, I mean, there are there are um versus just having again so much stuff.
00:12:10.399 --> 00:12:10.879
Yeah.
00:12:10.879 --> 00:12:12.480
So what are other options?
00:12:12.480 --> 00:12:13.600
Can it be replaced?
00:12:13.600 --> 00:12:14.399
Can it be borrowed?
00:12:14.399 --> 00:12:15.759
Can it be substituted?
00:13:03.779 --> 00:13:09.939
Yeah, or um, is this genuinely a one-of-a-kind item or standing in for a memory?
00:13:09.939 --> 00:13:15.059
Um that that's where you're feeling that attachment to it.
00:13:15.219 --> 00:13:17.539
Um maybe the memory doesn't actually need the thing.
00:13:17.539 --> 00:13:20.179
Maybe you can have the memory without the thing.
00:13:20.500 --> 00:13:21.219
Yeah, yeah.
00:13:21.219 --> 00:13:27.779
And so deciding through those, um, you know, what would the the regret be?
00:13:27.779 --> 00:13:35.860
And is there another way you can reduce or honor the memory, the story, the person uh without the bulk of all of this stuff.
00:13:36.419 --> 00:13:36.659
Right.
00:13:36.659 --> 00:13:43.539
And so so let's we could build a little system of backup for some of that stuff.
00:13:43.539 --> 00:13:48.819
So um we've already talked about the maybe box as that's one thing that could be as part of that system.
00:13:48.819 --> 00:13:50.740
Um you could take pictures of things.
00:13:50.740 --> 00:14:06.500
You can um digitize uh paper items, you know, you could take pictures of cards or digitize, you know, if you have a bunch of greeting cards or um paperwork that you think is important, um, or photos, you could digitize those.
00:14:06.500 --> 00:14:09.779
Kids' artwork, you could um digitize that kind of stuff.
00:14:09.779 --> 00:14:23.539
Any kind of awards or those kind of things, instead of maybe keeping that physical bulk, um, you could put that together uh into digital, you know, which is a whole nother we can get into digital and keeping too much digital stuff too.
00:14:23.539 --> 00:14:25.139
But sometimes I think that's important.
00:14:25.139 --> 00:14:30.419
And sometimes um the story around the thing doesn't mean that you have to keep the thing.
00:14:30.419 --> 00:14:35.299
And if you want to take a picture of it just in case you might want to remember the story that way, that's that's okay.
00:14:35.699 --> 00:14:38.659
And and definitely what you just said there, you don't have to keep the thing.
00:14:38.659 --> 00:15:11.219
I think you can also take a step back from that and say you don't have to keep all the things, you know, because there are categories that are genuinely irreplaceable photos, letters, heirlooms, but it's taking that, you know, bird's eye view of the volume of all of those things and how much have you thrown into that category and said, you know, well, we could never replace this, but you've put so much in that category that you can't even enjoy it or share the stories because it's too much.
00:15:11.219 --> 00:15:14.500
Um, so we certainly have talked about that many times.
00:15:14.500 --> 00:15:28.099
Um, but just making sure those um categories that do hold those irreplaceable things are held in a way that you can honor them and enjoy them um instead of getting lost in too much of them.
00:15:28.419 --> 00:15:28.899
Right.
00:15:28.899 --> 00:15:33.139
Um another thing you could do is ask your family or friends if they want something.
00:15:33.139 --> 00:15:35.219
And I'm not saying tell them to take it.
00:15:35.219 --> 00:15:38.259
That's different than asking them if they want it.
00:15:38.740 --> 00:15:39.299
Question.
00:15:39.299 --> 00:15:39.860
Ask.
00:15:40.500 --> 00:15:40.899
Yeah.
00:15:40.899 --> 00:15:43.699
So um remember, guilt's not a gift, right?
00:15:43.699 --> 00:15:48.500
So we want to make sure that we're um they're only taking things that they really, really want.
00:15:48.500 --> 00:15:56.659
Um, and we're not trying to push our inability to make a decision onto them because we're just kind of kicking that can down the road.
00:15:56.659 --> 00:15:57.459
That's not fair.
00:15:57.459 --> 00:15:59.219
But sometimes they are gonna want things.
00:15:59.219 --> 00:16:00.899
Um, there's gonna be things that they want.
00:16:00.899 --> 00:16:09.219
And so before you let go of something, if you're feeling maybe guilty about letting it go or feeling like you might need it, um, maybe, maybe there is somebody who would take it.
00:16:09.219 --> 00:16:12.259
And then if you decide you need it, you can borrow it back for a minute, right?
00:16:12.500 --> 00:16:13.620
Yeah, absolutely.
00:16:13.620 --> 00:16:20.899
Another uh backup system is um, you know, a parameter around your just in case category.
00:16:20.899 --> 00:16:34.259
Um, so this is, you know, saying, okay, I can keep tools, but only uh what will fit on this workbench, or I'm keeping, you know, books, but only what fits in this bookcase.
00:16:34.259 --> 00:16:53.059
And so if there's a um category that you're struggling with it and feeling like you're gonna regret, it's taking smaller baby steps and you know, making some initial decisions and then keeping some stuff just for comfort, knowing that you have that parameter.
00:16:53.059 --> 00:16:55.860
Um, but the parameter is the key.
00:16:55.860 --> 00:17:04.259
Yeah it's deciding what space is enough so that you are still um needing to make some decisions and not keeping it all.
00:17:04.259 --> 00:17:12.500
Uh without that parameter, it just becomes back to where you're starting at with the keep everything because you're pushing that decision down the road.
00:17:12.500 --> 00:17:12.900
Right.
00:17:12.980 --> 00:17:14.579
And we're not saying to get rid of everything.
00:17:14.579 --> 00:17:16.180
We're never ever saying that.
00:17:16.180 --> 00:17:19.539
There are things that are irreplaceable and you should keep them.
00:17:19.539 --> 00:17:27.299
And there are things that you love and that make you, you know, remember times in your lives or things about yourself and your legacy or things about family members.
00:17:27.299 --> 00:17:30.339
And if those things are super important, keep them.
00:17:30.339 --> 00:17:32.420
It's just not that everything is that.
00:17:32.420 --> 00:17:34.099
I think that's the mindset difference.
00:17:34.099 --> 00:17:46.099
And I think um sometimes when you're coming from that scarcity mindset, it gets confused with how much importance you're giving things that don't necessarily need that importance.
00:17:46.099 --> 00:17:48.339
Some things are definitely more important than others.
00:17:48.339 --> 00:17:49.620
I think that's something to remember.
00:17:49.620 --> 00:17:51.779
Not everything has the same level of importance.
00:17:52.099 --> 00:18:02.819
Yeah, I think we just want to give you some tools to work through these decisions so that your fear of loss stops running the show and and keeps you, you know, where you don't want to be.
00:18:03.059 --> 00:18:03.539
Yeah.
00:18:03.539 --> 00:18:04.500
Yeah.
00:18:04.500 --> 00:18:12.659
So um we back to the science of, you know, what what what regret are you actually signing up for, right?
00:18:12.659 --> 00:18:22.180
So when you're looking at it and you're thinking about, you're feeling regret about it, then can you relate that to those science things that we had just talked about?
00:18:22.180 --> 00:18:27.139
Um, and and which one is it that you're actually feeling when you're looking at that thing?
00:18:27.139 --> 00:18:46.500
Is it um that the regret uh over some actions that you've taken sting hardest in the short term, but they don't um they don't take it's not over a lifetime, remember that that one where we were talking, like it's gonna feel twice as bad letting go of it as it did to get it, but it's not gonna feel like that for long.
00:18:46.500 --> 00:18:52.740
So thinking in your head, oh my gosh, I'm gonna always feel this same level of regret is not accurate.
00:18:52.740 --> 00:18:56.099
So can you just tell yourself, I mean, you know, yeah.
00:18:56.099 --> 00:19:00.819
I feel it let let myself feel that for a minute and be like, ugh, yeah, I wish I had made ice cream.
00:19:00.819 --> 00:19:02.500
I spent money on this thing.
00:19:02.500 --> 00:19:04.259
But, you know, it's okay.
00:19:04.740 --> 00:19:17.539
Yeah, the I think it's human nature that we'll all feel that little pang of regret or questioning our decision in that moment, but it's almost always short-lived and solvable.
00:19:17.539 --> 00:19:27.059
If you truly got rid of something that you need, it's almost always solvable to you know, use that backup method or get another one quickly.
00:19:27.299 --> 00:19:27.539
Yeah.
00:19:27.539 --> 00:19:36.099
I mean, in the in this big scheme of it, if I five years down the road decide I am going to become, you know, Ben and Jerry's next big thing.
00:19:36.259 --> 00:19:38.180
Um I hope we're still friends.
00:19:38.659 --> 00:19:40.019
I love ice cream.
00:19:40.019 --> 00:19:42.339
Um, I could buy another ice cream maker.
00:19:42.339 --> 00:19:42.740
Yeah.
00:19:42.740 --> 00:19:43.859
Um, I could.
00:19:43.859 --> 00:19:56.740
Um, but and so if that happens, if you uh let go of all of these things and there is something that you think, you know, that was a mistake.
00:19:56.740 --> 00:19:58.099
I shouldn't have let go of that.
00:19:58.099 --> 00:20:00.099
I do want to actually go by that again.
00:20:00.099 --> 00:20:01.379
I feel like I need it.
00:20:01.379 --> 00:20:03.379
I'm going to do whatever with it.
00:20:03.379 --> 00:20:06.339
Um don't put that into everything.
00:20:06.339 --> 00:20:09.299
Letting go of things is a mistake, right?
00:20:09.299 --> 00:20:17.379
It isn't this, it isn't like then an overarching, you know, oh my gosh, I let go of these things.
00:20:17.379 --> 00:20:19.700
I let go of a hundred things.
00:20:19.700 --> 00:20:23.700
And one thing I decided I shouldn't have let go of that.
00:20:23.700 --> 00:20:27.139
Um 99 things were great decisions, right?
00:20:27.139 --> 00:20:38.659
So remember that part too, and don't, you know, beat yourself up about it and don't start feeling like, oh, I should keep it all because remember that one thing that I should have, you know, not have gotten rid of and I did.
00:20:38.659 --> 00:20:41.220
Don't let your mind play those tricks on you.
00:20:41.539 --> 00:21:00.420
Yeah, I think the flip side of um, you know, giving into that fear of regret on these things we're talking about that are, you know, easier to replace and um that we, you know, just know if you trust the process, you won't have long-term regret over 99% of them.
00:21:00.420 --> 00:21:12.659
Um, the other side is that if you don't do anything and you get paralyzed in that fear, is what we have seen is that your regret is that you didn't downsize.
00:21:12.659 --> 00:21:30.500
You are still dealing with too much stuff, or maybe that's kept you in a place that isn't working for you, and you are just regretting that you didn't get started sooner, or get rid of more things, or have someone help you.
00:21:30.500 --> 00:21:32.339
Um, so we see that so much.
00:21:32.339 --> 00:21:53.220
And so um, you know, that's when we see people get to that next place and they've kept too much, and they're still not living that free um daily life because they're still around boxes where there's nothing to unpack, but they're also not enjoying those things or using those things.
00:21:53.220 --> 00:22:06.259
Um, it's just a mindset of knowing if you can get past that one side of feeling like I'm gonna regret this, you avoid that big regret of I didn't do it.
00:22:06.579 --> 00:22:10.500
Yeah, because remember, we talk about this a lot in the beginning.
00:22:10.500 --> 00:22:15.220
You our goal in general is to make sure that you're ready, whenever that is.
00:22:15.220 --> 00:22:21.139
If you're downsizing just to, you know, live a more free life in your current house, great.
00:22:21.139 --> 00:22:28.980
If you're downsizing because you want to make a move uh now or you know in the near future, um, then that's also great.
00:22:28.980 --> 00:22:42.019
What whatever your reasoning is, um, we just want you to be doing it so that nothing, you know, there's not some kind of a crisis that happens and then you aren't able to make the decisions, right?
00:22:42.019 --> 00:22:46.819
You know, and that regret that we see happen with people is what we don't want to have happen.
00:22:46.819 --> 00:22:51.139
That Regret is now I'm not physically capable of doing it.
00:22:51.139 --> 00:22:57.220
Or now my my partner has to do it, all of it, because you know, I can't help.
00:22:57.220 --> 00:23:02.579
Or now my kids are making those decisions, you know, instead of me making those decisions.
00:23:02.579 --> 00:23:11.379
Um and so those regrets are actually bigger than the regret that you're gonna feel just getting rid of each individual um thing.
00:23:11.379 --> 00:23:16.339
So um push through that that mindset of scarcity.
00:23:16.339 --> 00:23:19.220
It's it definitely is a fear.
00:23:19.220 --> 00:23:36.180
It's a scarcity mindset of you know, feeling like I'm not gonna be able to get this again, or um not wanting to feel that in the moment and thinking that that's a big feeling in the moment um and that uh it's always gonna be that big.
00:23:36.180 --> 00:23:38.500
Um and it just it just won't.
00:23:38.500 --> 00:23:39.460
That's a science thing.
00:23:39.460 --> 00:23:42.259
So just tell yourself that when you start to feel like that.
00:23:42.259 --> 00:23:49.220
That's a science thing, and my brain is telling me that because I'm wired to keep the things I have.
00:23:49.700 --> 00:24:10.019
Yeah, in the moment it feels like so much, but um you know, you telling us your kitchen story and and me going through um two different moves in the last few years, once you get past that, there's so much that you truly don't miss and can't remember.
00:24:10.019 --> 00:24:20.819
I I mean, uh in two household moves, I can't, I mean, probably two, three trucks full of stuff I've donated or given different places.
00:24:20.819 --> 00:24:32.339
And I I was talking with my daughter not too long ago and talking about that, I'm like, I really can't remember what we even gave away.
00:24:32.339 --> 00:24:42.819
And also someone else is using that stuff and getting um their needs met by the furniture we donated or the household goods or the linens.
00:24:42.819 --> 00:24:48.980
So adopting that mindset of um, you know, that well, will I miss this?
00:24:48.980 --> 00:24:54.819
Thinking about how much someone else will gain by having those things that maybe you're not using.
00:24:55.220 --> 00:24:58.099
And if it's something super important, don't let it go.
00:24:58.099 --> 00:24:58.339
Yeah.
00:24:58.339 --> 00:25:00.339
I mean, I think that's the other part of it.
00:25:00.339 --> 00:25:04.339
Um it's just that remember, not everything has the same level of importance.
00:25:04.339 --> 00:25:09.539
And so you can't you can't look at it like that, but keep the things that are important.
00:25:09.539 --> 00:25:20.420
That's actually what we want our lives to be surrounded by, the things that bring us, you know, joy that we want to display, that we, you know, aren't packed away for special times and you know, all of that stuff.
00:25:20.420 --> 00:25:21.779
We want to keep that stuff.
00:25:21.779 --> 00:25:32.099
Um, and so if you're feeling um like you can't get started um because you might regret letting things go, I would probably start with the maybe box.
00:25:32.099 --> 00:25:34.899
I think that's where I would really get myself started.
00:25:34.899 --> 00:25:42.500
Um, just because I think that's your, you know, your fail-safe that it's it's still here if you really need it.
00:25:42.500 --> 00:25:46.579
Um but I think you'll find that you don't even remember what's in the maybe box.
00:25:46.899 --> 00:25:59.299
Yeah, and I think starting with easy categories, um, always start with some things that will give you some momentum that you're not going to feel this, you know, regret attached to.
00:25:59.299 --> 00:26:00.740
You will feel so good.
00:26:00.740 --> 00:26:08.339
We just had a client that um, you know, has been thinking about downsizing for a while, but she's got a timeline in place now.
00:26:08.339 --> 00:26:12.819
So she's really uh getting started to prepare for a move.
00:26:12.819 --> 00:26:40.899
And um, she started with an easy area in the kitchen and uh was able in a few hours to um just make some quick decisions and um pull in some resources to help get some things out of the house for her and uh in talking with her, just the happiness in her voice to have that momentum going and to be started on that path is exactly what we want for all of you.
00:26:40.899 --> 00:26:49.139
Um, just getting started and realizing um, you know, for most of the decisions, there will be no regret at all.
00:26:49.139 --> 00:27:00.180
And if there is a tinge of regret, it's short-lived and you won't be thinking about it, you know, by the time the Maybe Box it comes due to be donated.
00:27:00.180 --> 00:27:09.139
And um, you know, if it is that one out of a hundred things that you wish you had again, it's almost always easy and quick to replace.
00:27:09.379 --> 00:27:11.460
Yep, so get started.
00:27:11.460 --> 00:27:15.539
Um, we have great uh resources at downsizingroadmap.com.
00:27:15.539 --> 00:27:16.819
Check those out.
00:27:16.819 --> 00:27:18.259
You don't have to do this alone.
00:27:18.579 --> 00:27:20.099
Yes, we'll talk to you next time.
00:27:20.099 --> 00:27:23.619
Thanks for joining us on the Downsizing Roadmap Podcast.
00:27:23.619 --> 00:27:32.019
If you found this episode helpful, be sure to subscribe, leave us a review, and share it with someone who might need a little downsizing inspiration.
00:27:32.019 --> 00:27:35.059
Have questions or ideas for future episodes?
00:27:35.059 --> 00:27:40.980
Reach out to us on our website, www.downsizingroadmap.com.
00:27:40.980 --> 00:27:44.819
Until next time, let's keep simplifying and moving forward.