WEBVTT
00:00:00.719 --> 00:00:08.240
A couple of weeks ago, Caitlin and I got married, and as you probably imagine, it was one of the most meaningful weekends of my life.
00:00:08.720 --> 00:00:16.719
But one of my favorite memories from the entire weekend wasn't actually the ceremony and it wasn't the reception.
00:00:16.800 --> 00:00:21.440
It wasn't one of the formal moments that people usually frame and hang on the wall.
00:00:21.760 --> 00:00:27.600
It happened early that morning during a group workout with the people who I had come to celebrate with us.
00:00:28.079 --> 00:00:39.759
Looking back at the photos, they make me smile because they capture something that has very little to do with weddings and everything to do with creating a great marriage.
00:00:40.000 --> 00:00:43.359
Relationships are not built on one extraordinary day.
00:00:43.520 --> 00:00:46.240
They're built on thousands of very ordinary ones.
00:00:46.479 --> 00:00:49.679
That morning wasn't just special because we were getting married.
00:00:49.840 --> 00:00:55.840
It was special because it reflected the kind of life that we've intentionally built together over time.
00:00:56.159 --> 00:01:06.879
A life where taking exceptional care of ourselves, challenging ourselves, laughing together, and surrounding ourselves with people that we love isn't reserved for just special occasions.
00:01:07.040 --> 00:01:08.480
It's simply how we live.
00:01:08.719 --> 00:01:12.159
It reminded me of one of my favorite Warren Buffett quotes.
00:01:12.400 --> 00:01:23.359
Something to the effect of the most important decision that you'll ever make in your life as it relates to your success and your level of fulfillment is the person that you choose to marry.
00:01:23.599 --> 00:01:27.599
I've always loved that quote because I think it's profoundly true.
00:01:27.840 --> 00:01:43.760
After more than 22 years of working with nearly 90,000 people, I've become convinced there probably isn't another decision that quietly influences more of your future than the person that you choose to do your life with and have by your side.
00:01:44.000 --> 00:01:49.599
Not because marriage is magical, because relationships are never neutral.
00:01:49.840 --> 00:01:53.599
They either expand your life or they contract it.
00:01:53.840 --> 00:01:56.879
I don't think that we talk about that near enough.
00:01:57.040 --> 00:02:04.239
We've inherited a version of relationships that places almost all of its attention on the idea of attraction.
00:02:04.400 --> 00:02:15.199
We talk about chemistry, we talk about finding the special one, we talk about compatibility as though it's something that either magically exists or it doesn't.
00:02:15.439 --> 00:02:23.680
What we don't spend nearly enough time talking about is what actually happens after two people begin sharing a life together.
00:02:23.919 --> 00:02:27.280
Because that's where the compounding truly begins.
00:02:27.520 --> 00:02:35.520
If you're naturally optimistic, but the person that you come home to every day sees problems in everything, that's going to affect you.
00:02:35.680 --> 00:02:45.120
Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but over enough years it becomes very difficult for one person's mindset not to influence the other.
00:02:45.360 --> 00:02:52.319
If one person constantly creates drama, eventually both people are going to spend their lives managing it.
00:02:52.560 --> 00:03:01.199
If one person is trying to build wealth while the other spends everything that comes in, they're no longer simply expressing different personalities.
00:03:01.439 --> 00:03:04.319
They're shaping each other's financial future.
00:03:04.560 --> 00:03:06.719
Sometimes it's even smaller than that.
00:03:06.960 --> 00:03:12.960
One person likes things neat and orderly, the other leaves their stuff all over the house.
00:03:13.199 --> 00:03:24.240
It sounds almost funny when you say it out loud, but if you repeat that dynamic every single day for 10 years, it stops being about where someone left their shoes and it becomes friction.
00:03:24.400 --> 00:03:27.520
And friction, it has a cost, especially over time.
00:03:27.759 --> 00:03:33.360
And that's why I've come to understand that intimate relationships are never neutral.
00:03:33.599 --> 00:03:37.840
Every day, whether we realize it or not, they're multiplying something.
00:03:38.000 --> 00:03:42.719
Sometimes they're multiplying peace, and sometimes they're multiplying stress.
00:03:42.960 --> 00:03:48.639
Sometimes they're multiplying possibility, and sometimes they're multiplying distraction.
00:03:48.800 --> 00:03:53.840
Either way, they're always moving our lives in some direction.
00:03:54.080 --> 00:03:59.840
One of my favorite moments from our wedding weekend happened when I simply stopped and I looked around the room.
00:04:00.080 --> 00:04:07.120
There were only 26 people there with us, and it was our families and many of our very closest friends.
00:04:07.280 --> 00:04:11.439
Some who have walked beside us through many different seasons of life.
00:04:11.680 --> 00:04:19.680
The people we'll be sharing dinners with, hikes, holidays, and conversations 20 years from now are the people who are there.
00:04:19.920 --> 00:04:26.160
And being there, I realized something that I don't think I fully appreciated when I was younger.
00:04:26.480 --> 00:04:30.319
Extraordinary relationships don't exist in isolation.
00:04:30.560 --> 00:04:33.920
They shape the entire ecosystem around your life.
00:04:34.160 --> 00:04:39.120
The quality of your marriage affects your friendships, it affects your children if you have them.
00:04:39.279 --> 00:04:49.199
It also affects your work, it affects the emotional atmosphere inside your home, it affects how much energy that you're gonna have available to pursue your purpose or to build something.
00:04:49.360 --> 00:04:53.759
It even affects the kind of people that you're able to attract into your world.
00:04:54.000 --> 00:04:58.560
A great relationship doesn't simply make one part of your life better.
00:04:58.800 --> 00:05:01.519
It lifts everything connected to it.
00:05:01.680 --> 00:05:03.759
And the opposite is also true.
00:05:03.920 --> 00:05:07.759
And that's why I think Warren Buffett wasn't just talking about marriage.
00:05:07.920 --> 00:05:09.839
He was talking about investment.
00:05:10.160 --> 00:05:15.839
Because every investment we make compounds over time, and so does a relationship.
00:05:16.000 --> 00:05:28.879
If you've listened to this podcast for a while, or if you've gone back through our relationship alchemy series, you've probably noticed that I almost never begin a conversation about relationships by talking about another person.
00:05:29.120 --> 00:05:30.480
I start somewhere else.
00:05:30.639 --> 00:05:31.759
I start with vision.
00:05:32.000 --> 00:05:41.519
Before asking who do I want to spend my life with, I think there's a much more important question, which is what kind of life am I trying to build?
00:05:41.759 --> 00:05:43.920
What kind of person do I want to become?
00:05:44.160 --> 00:05:47.199
How do I want to experience my life emotionally?
00:05:47.439 --> 00:05:49.360
What kind of health do I want to create?
00:05:49.519 --> 00:05:52.160
What kind of family am I hoping to build?
00:05:52.399 --> 00:05:54.560
What kind of financial future am I creating?
00:05:54.800 --> 00:05:56.959
What contribution do I want to make?
00:05:57.199 --> 00:06:00.800
Those questions matter because they create a vision.
00:06:01.040 --> 00:06:09.600
Only after that vision becomes clear does it make sense to ask whether another person is genuinely aligned with it or not.
00:06:09.839 --> 00:06:16.319
Not just whether they're attractive, not just whether there's chemistry, not just whether you enjoy being together.
00:06:16.399 --> 00:06:17.759
That's happenstakes.
00:06:17.920 --> 00:06:23.680
But whether the two of you are actually building the same future and aspire to the same things.
00:06:23.839 --> 00:06:26.319
That's a very different conversation.
00:06:26.560 --> 00:06:32.160
It's also a much more practical one because love doesn't remove the need for alignment.
00:06:32.319 --> 00:06:34.399
It makes alignment even more important.
00:06:34.800 --> 00:06:41.120
The beautiful thing is that this applies whether you're single or whether you've been in a marriage for decades.
00:06:41.360 --> 00:06:43.680
If you're single, I hope this feels empowering.
00:06:44.000 --> 00:06:58.879
Instead of spending your energy wondering whether you'll find the right person, you get to spend it getting clear about the life you want to build, create your vision first, then become increasingly aligned with that vision yourself.
00:06:59.199 --> 00:07:08.800
Over time, allow someone's actions, not just their words, to show you whether they have the willingness and the competency to build that same future with you.
00:07:09.040 --> 00:07:11.279
And that will change dating completely.
00:07:11.439 --> 00:07:13.759
You're no longer asking, do they like me?
00:07:13.920 --> 00:07:20.480
You're asking, are we genuinely in a space to build the same life that we both aspire to?
00:07:20.720 --> 00:07:23.600
If you're already married, the conversation is different.
00:07:23.759 --> 00:07:26.079
The question isn't, did I marry the right person?
00:07:26.240 --> 00:07:33.920
The better question is, am I showing up as the kind of partner capable of building the life that we both say we want?
00:07:34.160 --> 00:07:37.759
I think that's where extraordinary relationships are truly fortified.
00:07:37.920 --> 00:07:42.319
Not by evaluating the other person first, but by evaluating ourselves.
00:07:42.480 --> 00:07:46.639
Am I communicating the way that I'd want to be communicated with?
00:07:46.800 --> 00:07:48.720
Am I managing my emotional state?
00:07:48.959 --> 00:07:52.639
Am I contributing to the emotional atmosphere inside our home?
00:07:52.879 --> 00:07:57.279
Am I living the principles I'm hoping to experience from my partner?
00:07:57.519 --> 00:08:02.319
Because it's very easy to spend years waiting for someone else to change.
00:08:02.560 --> 00:08:11.519
It's much harder and much more productive to ask, how am I contributing to the relationship that we're creating together?
00:08:11.759 --> 00:08:14.720
Then from that place, come back to the vision.
00:08:14.879 --> 00:08:17.120
Not once, but again and again.
00:08:17.439 --> 00:08:20.959
People grow, life changes, dreams evolve.
00:08:21.199 --> 00:08:26.959
Extraordinary couples don't assume they're automatically moving in the same direction forever.
00:08:27.199 --> 00:08:28.639
They keep checking in.
00:08:28.800 --> 00:08:29.839
Where are we going?
00:08:30.000 --> 00:08:31.120
What are we creating?
00:08:31.360 --> 00:08:33.279
Who are we becoming together?
00:08:33.440 --> 00:08:36.799
And just as importantly, am I aligned with that vision?
00:08:37.039 --> 00:08:43.519
Because the healthiest relationships that I've seen aren't built by two people trying to fix one another.
00:08:43.759 --> 00:08:51.440
They're built by two people who are each committed to growing themselves while intentionally building the same future together.
00:08:51.600 --> 00:08:52.799
And that's the work.
00:08:53.039 --> 00:09:01.200
One of the reasons that I feel so strongly about this is because it's one of the most common things that I navigate with my clients.
00:09:01.440 --> 00:09:07.919
By the time many couples arrive, they've already tried, quote unquote, everything that they've known to try.
00:09:08.080 --> 00:09:19.600
They've done therapy, they've done couples counseling, communication books, retreats, and yet they still feel like every difficult conversation leaves them farther apart instead of closer together.
00:09:19.840 --> 00:09:24.080
More often than not, the problem isn't that they don't love each other.
00:09:24.240 --> 00:09:29.840
It's that somewhere along the way, they stopped intentionally building the same future.
00:09:30.080 --> 00:09:46.000
When I support couples to reconnect around shared vision and develop the emotional competency, communication skills, and nervous system regulation needed to support it, about 90% of the time the relationship begins moving forward again and they thrive.
00:09:46.240 --> 00:09:50.159
The other 10% discover something equally valuable.
00:09:50.399 --> 00:09:55.679
They realize they never actually shared the same vision or they no longer want the same things.
00:09:55.840 --> 00:10:02.559
And instead of continuing to fight for years, they're able to part with honesty, compassion, a sense of respect.
00:10:02.720 --> 00:10:10.399
And in many cases, they become remarkable co-parents because they're finally aligned around something they can genuinely share.
00:10:10.639 --> 00:10:13.039
To me, that's success too.
00:10:13.200 --> 00:10:16.000
Because the goal was never simply staying together.
00:10:16.159 --> 00:10:21.279
The goal has always been creating the healthiest life that's possible for everyone involved.
00:10:21.519 --> 00:10:24.879
I think that's what Warren Buffett understood.
00:10:25.120 --> 00:10:30.559
The person that you build your life with will influence every area of your life and your future.
00:10:30.720 --> 00:10:43.600
Your health, your finances, your emotional experience, your family, your sense of purpose and contribution, few decisions carry that much weight, which is exactly why they're worth approaching with intention.
00:10:43.840 --> 00:10:46.720
And so here's the question that I'll leave with you today.
00:10:47.039 --> 00:10:55.120
If your relationship continued exactly as it is today for the next 20 years, what would it multiply?
00:10:55.360 --> 00:11:06.000
If today's conversation resonated with you, I'd encourage you to go back and revisit our elements of relationship alchemy series, beginning with issue five and episode 25.
00:11:06.240 --> 00:11:07.360
Become the one.
00:11:08.159 --> 00:11:12.080
They both expand on many of the ideas that we explored today.
00:11:12.240 --> 00:11:19.120
You can also find the Connection Fix as a weekly newsletter, on the blog, and wherever you happen to listen to podcasts.
00:11:19.360 --> 00:11:22.720
However, you engage with this work best, leverage that.
00:11:22.879 --> 00:11:25.120
Thank you so much for spending this time with me.
00:11:25.360 --> 00:11:26.080
More soon.
00:11:26.320 --> 00:11:29.840
Take care, and I look forward to connecting with you again next week.
00:00:00.719 --> 00:00:08.240
A couple of weeks ago, Caitlin and I got married, and as you probably imagine, it was one of the most meaningful weekends of my life.
00:00:08.720 --> 00:00:16.719
But one of my favorite memories from the entire weekend wasn't actually the ceremony and it wasn't the reception.
00:00:16.800 --> 00:00:21.440
It wasn't one of the formal moments that people usually frame and hang on the wall.
00:00:21.760 --> 00:00:27.600
It happened early that morning during a group workout with the people who I had come to celebrate with us.
00:00:28.079 --> 00:00:39.759
Looking back at the photos, they make me smile because they capture something that has very little to do with weddings and everything to do with creating a great marriage.
00:00:40.000 --> 00:00:43.359
Relationships are not built on one extraordinary day.
00:00:43.520 --> 00:00:46.240
They're built on thousands of very ordinary ones.
00:00:46.479 --> 00:00:49.679
That morning wasn't just special because we were getting married.
00:00:49.840 --> 00:00:55.840
It was special because it reflected the kind of life that we've intentionally built together over time.
00:00:56.159 --> 00:01:06.879
A life where taking exceptional care of ourselves, challenging ourselves, laughing together, and surrounding ourselves with people that we love isn't reserved for just special occasions.
00:01:07.040 --> 00:01:08.480
It's simply how we live.
00:01:08.719 --> 00:01:12.159
It reminded me of one of my favorite Warren Buffett quotes.
00:01:12.400 --> 00:01:23.359
Something to the effect of the most important decision that you'll ever make in your life as it relates to your success and your level of fulfillment is the person that you choose to marry.
00:01:23.599 --> 00:01:27.599
I've always loved that quote because I think it's profoundly true.
00:01:27.840 --> 00:01:43.760
After more than 22 years of working with nearly 90,000 people, I've become convinced there probably isn't another decision that quietly influences more of your future than the person that you choose to do your life with and have by your side.
00:01:44.000 --> 00:01:49.599
Not because marriage is magical, because relationships are never neutral.
00:01:49.840 --> 00:01:53.599
They either expand your life or they contract it.
00:01:53.840 --> 00:01:56.879
I don't think that we talk about that near enough.
00:01:57.040 --> 00:02:04.239
We've inherited a version of relationships that places almost all of its attention on the idea of attraction.
00:02:04.400 --> 00:02:15.199
We talk about chemistry, we talk about finding the special one, we talk about compatibility as though it's something that either magically exists or it doesn't.
00:02:15.439 --> 00:02:23.680
What we don't spend nearly enough time talking about is what actually happens after two people begin sharing a life together.
00:02:23.919 --> 00:02:27.280
Because that's where the compounding truly begins.
00:02:27.520 --> 00:02:35.520
If you're naturally optimistic, but the person that you come home to every day sees problems in everything, that's going to affect you.
00:02:35.680 --> 00:02:45.120
Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but over enough years it becomes very difficult for one person's mindset not to influence the other.
00:02:45.360 --> 00:02:52.319
If one person constantly creates drama, eventually both people are going to spend their lives managing it.
00:02:52.560 --> 00:03:01.199
If one person is trying to build wealth while the other spends everything that comes in, they're no longer simply expressing different personalities.
00:03:01.439 --> 00:03:04.319
They're shaping each other's financial future.
00:03:04.560 --> 00:03:06.719
Sometimes it's even smaller than that.
00:03:06.960 --> 00:03:12.960
One person likes things neat and orderly, the other leaves their stuff all over the house.
00:03:13.199 --> 00:03:24.240
It sounds almost funny when you say it out loud, but if you repeat that dynamic every single day for 10 years, it stops being about where someone left their shoes and it becomes friction.
00:03:24.400 --> 00:03:27.520
And friction, it has a cost, especially over time.
00:03:27.759 --> 00:03:33.360
And that's why I've come to understand that intimate relationships are never neutral.
00:03:33.599 --> 00:03:37.840
Every day, whether we realize it or not, they're multiplying something.
00:03:38.000 --> 00:03:42.719
Sometimes they're multiplying peace, and sometimes they're multiplying stress.
00:03:42.960 --> 00:03:48.639
Sometimes they're multiplying possibility, and sometimes they're multiplying distraction.
00:03:48.800 --> 00:03:53.840
Either way, they're always moving our lives in some direction.
00:03:54.080 --> 00:03:59.840
One of my favorite moments from our wedding weekend happened when I simply stopped and I looked around the room.
00:04:00.080 --> 00:04:07.120
There were only 26 people there with us, and it was our families and many of our very closest friends.
00:04:07.280 --> 00:04:11.439
Some who have walked beside us through many different seasons of life.
00:04:11.680 --> 00:04:19.680
The people we'll be sharing dinners with, hikes, holidays, and conversations 20 years from now are the people who are there.
00:04:19.920 --> 00:04:26.160
And being there, I realized something that I don't think I fully appreciated when I was younger.
00:04:26.480 --> 00:04:30.319
Extraordinary relationships don't exist in isolation.
00:04:30.560 --> 00:04:33.920
They shape the entire ecosystem around your life.
00:04:34.160 --> 00:04:39.120
The quality of your marriage affects your friendships, it affects your children if you have them.
00:04:39.279 --> 00:04:49.199
It also affects your work, it affects the emotional atmosphere inside your home, it affects how much energy that you're gonna have available to pursue your purpose or to build something.
00:04:49.360 --> 00:04:53.759
It even affects the kind of people that you're able to attract into your world.
00:04:54.000 --> 00:04:58.560
A great relationship doesn't simply make one part of your life better.
00:04:58.800 --> 00:05:01.519
It lifts everything connected to it.
00:05:01.680 --> 00:05:03.759
And the opposite is also true.
00:05:03.920 --> 00:05:07.759
And that's why I think Warren Buffett wasn't just talking about marriage.
00:05:07.920 --> 00:05:09.839
He was talking about investment.
00:05:10.160 --> 00:05:15.839
Because every investment we make compounds over time, and so does a relationship.
00:05:16.000 --> 00:05:28.879
If you've listened to this podcast for a while, or if you've gone back through our relationship alchemy series, you've probably noticed that I almost never begin a conversation about relationships by talking about another person.
00:05:29.120 --> 00:05:30.480
I start somewhere else.
00:05:30.639 --> 00:05:31.759
I start with vision.
00:05:32.000 --> 00:05:41.519
Before asking who do I want to spend my life with, I think there's a much more important question, which is what kind of life am I trying to build?
00:05:41.759 --> 00:05:43.920
What kind of person do I want to become?
00:05:44.160 --> 00:05:47.199
How do I want to experience my life emotionally?
00:05:47.439 --> 00:05:49.360
What kind of health do I want to create?
00:05:49.519 --> 00:05:52.160
What kind of family am I hoping to build?
00:05:52.399 --> 00:05:54.560
What kind of financial future am I creating?
00:05:54.800 --> 00:05:56.959
What contribution do I want to make?
00:05:57.199 --> 00:06:00.800
Those questions matter because they create a vision.
00:06:01.040 --> 00:06:09.600
Only after that vision becomes clear does it make sense to ask whether another person is genuinely aligned with it or not.
00:06:09.839 --> 00:06:16.319
Not just whether they're attractive, not just whether there's chemistry, not just whether you enjoy being together.
00:06:16.399 --> 00:06:17.759
That's happenstakes.
00:06:17.920 --> 00:06:23.680
But whether the two of you are actually building the same future and aspire to the same things.
00:06:23.839 --> 00:06:26.319
That's a very different conversation.
00:06:26.560 --> 00:06:32.160
It's also a much more practical one because love doesn't remove the need for alignment.
00:06:32.319 --> 00:06:34.399
It makes alignment even more important.
00:06:34.800 --> 00:06:41.120
The beautiful thing is that this applies whether you're single or whether you've been in a marriage for decades.
00:06:41.360 --> 00:06:43.680
If you're single, I hope this feels empowering.
00:06:44.000 --> 00:06:58.879
Instead of spending your energy wondering whether you'll find the right person, you get to spend it getting clear about the life you want to build, create your vision first, then become increasingly aligned with that vision yourself.
00:06:59.199 --> 00:07:08.800
Over time, allow someone's actions, not just their words, to show you whether they have the willingness and the competency to build that same future with you.
00:07:09.040 --> 00:07:11.279
And that will change dating completely.
00:07:11.439 --> 00:07:13.759
You're no longer asking, do they like me?
00:07:13.920 --> 00:07:20.480
You're asking, are we genuinely in a space to build the same life that we both aspire to?
00:07:20.720 --> 00:07:23.600
If you're already married, the conversation is different.
00:07:23.759 --> 00:07:26.079
The question isn't, did I marry the right person?
00:07:26.240 --> 00:07:33.920
The better question is, am I showing up as the kind of partner capable of building the life that we both say we want?
00:07:34.160 --> 00:07:37.759
I think that's where extraordinary relationships are truly fortified.
00:07:37.920 --> 00:07:42.319
Not by evaluating the other person first, but by evaluating ourselves.
00:07:42.480 --> 00:07:46.639
Am I communicating the way that I'd want to be communicated with?
00:07:46.800 --> 00:07:48.720
Am I managing my emotional state?
00:07:48.959 --> 00:07:52.639
Am I contributing to the emotional atmosphere inside our home?
00:07:52.879 --> 00:07:57.279
Am I living the principles I'm hoping to experience from my partner?
00:07:57.519 --> 00:08:02.319
Because it's very easy to spend years waiting for someone else to change.
00:08:02.560 --> 00:08:11.519
It's much harder and much more productive to ask, how am I contributing to the relationship that we're creating together?
00:08:11.759 --> 00:08:14.720
Then from that place, come back to the vision.
00:08:14.879 --> 00:08:17.120
Not once, but again and again.
00:08:17.439 --> 00:08:20.959
People grow, life changes, dreams evolve.
00:08:21.199 --> 00:08:26.959
Extraordinary couples don't assume they're automatically moving in the same direction forever.
00:08:27.199 --> 00:08:28.639
They keep checking in.
00:08:28.800 --> 00:08:29.839
Where are we going?
00:08:30.000 --> 00:08:31.120
What are we creating?
00:08:31.360 --> 00:08:33.279
Who are we becoming together?
00:08:33.440 --> 00:08:36.799
And just as importantly, am I aligned with that vision?
00:08:37.039 --> 00:08:43.519
Because the healthiest relationships that I've seen aren't built by two people trying to fix one another.
00:08:43.759 --> 00:08:51.440
They're built by two people who are each committed to growing themselves while intentionally building the same future together.
00:08:51.600 --> 00:08:52.799
And that's the work.
00:08:53.039 --> 00:09:01.200
One of the reasons that I feel so strongly about this is because it's one of the most common things that I navigate with my clients.
00:09:01.440 --> 00:09:07.919
By the time many couples arrive, they've already tried, quote unquote, everything that they've known to try.
00:09:08.080 --> 00:09:19.600
They've done therapy, they've done couples counseling, communication books, retreats, and yet they still feel like every difficult conversation leaves them farther apart instead of closer together.
00:09:19.840 --> 00:09:24.080
More often than not, the problem isn't that they don't love each other.
00:09:24.240 --> 00:09:29.840
It's that somewhere along the way, they stopped intentionally building the same future.
00:09:30.080 --> 00:09:46.000
When I support couples to reconnect around shared vision and develop the emotional competency, communication skills, and nervous system regulation needed to support it, about 90% of the time the relationship begins moving forward again and they thrive.
00:09:46.240 --> 00:09:50.159
The other 10% discover something equally valuable.
00:09:50.399 --> 00:09:55.679
They realize they never actually shared the same vision or they no longer want the same things.
00:09:55.840 --> 00:10:02.559
And instead of continuing to fight for years, they're able to part with honesty, compassion, a sense of respect.
00:10:02.720 --> 00:10:10.399
And in many cases, they become remarkable co-parents because they're finally aligned around something they can genuinely share.
00:10:10.639 --> 00:10:13.039
To me, that's success too.
00:10:13.200 --> 00:10:16.000
Because the goal was never simply staying together.
00:10:16.159 --> 00:10:21.279
The goal has always been creating the healthiest life that's possible for everyone involved.
00:10:21.519 --> 00:10:24.879
I think that's what Warren Buffett understood.
00:10:25.120 --> 00:10:30.559
The person that you build your life with will influence every area of your life and your future.
00:10:30.720 --> 00:10:43.600
Your health, your finances, your emotional experience, your family, your sense of purpose and contribution, few decisions carry that much weight, which is exactly why they're worth approaching with intention.
00:10:43.840 --> 00:10:46.720
And so here's the question that I'll leave with you today.
00:10:47.039 --> 00:10:55.120
If your relationship continued exactly as it is today for the next 20 years, what would it multiply?
00:10:55.360 --> 00:11:06.000
If today's conversation resonated with you, I'd encourage you to go back and revisit our elements of relationship alchemy series, beginning with issue five and episode 25.
00:11:06.240 --> 00:11:07.360
Become the one.
00:11:08.159 --> 00:11:12.080
They both expand on many of the ideas that we explored today.
00:11:12.240 --> 00:11:19.120
You can also find the Connection Fix as a weekly newsletter, on the blog, and wherever you happen to listen to podcasts.
00:11:19.360 --> 00:11:22.720
However, you engage with this work best, leverage that.
00:11:22.879 --> 00:11:25.120
Thank you so much for spending this time with me.
00:11:25.360 --> 00:11:26.080
More soon.
00:11:26.320 --> 00:11:29.840
Take care, and I look forward to connecting with you again next week.
