Sensitivity Reader - Lo Morales

1
00:00:01,281 --> 00:00:05,844
Hello and welcome to the Author Spotlight with Kenya Gori-Bell and myself, Monie Boyce.

2
00:00:05,844 --> 00:00:09,807
Today we are joined by sensitivity reader, Morales.

3
00:00:09,907 --> 00:00:13,729
We are so excited to have you with us.

4
00:00:14,350 --> 00:00:19,017
Can you talk a little bit about how you got into being a sensitivity reader?

5
00:00:19,017 --> 00:00:24,767
I think a lot of listeners will be curious to even know and understand what that is,
because I know a lot of people don't.

6
00:00:25,166 --> 00:00:26,186
Absolutely.

7
00:00:26,286 --> 00:00:29,146
So funny story, not funny story.

8
00:00:29,146 --> 00:00:32,366
So I started my page as a nursing student.

9
00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:41,286
I was in my first semester of nursing school and I'd actually so we take as a cohort you
graduate and you move through as a group.

10
00:00:41,286 --> 00:00:46,086
So it was a 21 credit hour semester.

11
00:00:47,306 --> 00:00:48,286
Dogging it.

12
00:00:48,286 --> 00:00:50,986
Yeah, it was a fast track program.

13
00:00:50,986 --> 00:00:54,906
So I missed one class by 0.4%.

14
00:00:54,925 --> 00:00:55,589
No!

15
00:00:55,589 --> 00:00:59,410
I had to retake that one class, but I didn't get to stay with my cohort.

16
00:00:59,410 --> 00:01:01,320
I had to move to another one.

17
00:01:01,481 --> 00:01:03,601
So I was stressing.

18
00:01:03,601 --> 00:01:08,622
I was upset and I found, oh I found my way back to reading.

19
00:01:08,622 --> 00:01:12,703
I created the well-read nursing page on TikTok and I was reading books.

20
00:01:12,703 --> 00:01:17,765
was talking about them and somebody sent me a book that was a Y-choose.

21
00:01:17,765 --> 00:01:19,775
Back then they were so called reverse harems.

22
00:01:19,775 --> 00:01:21,565
was still, that was still the big word.

23
00:01:21,565 --> 00:01:24,126
um And it was.

24
00:01:24,149 --> 00:01:30,542
a woman who inherited a house and a fortune, but she had to get married to receive it.

25
00:01:30,542 --> 00:01:36,184
And so she was going on dates with people that were invested in this home specifically.

26
00:01:36,184 --> 00:01:38,585
They somehow had something to do with the home.

27
00:01:39,005 --> 00:01:41,786
And one of the male characters was black.

28
00:01:41,786 --> 00:01:43,487
Now everybody else was white.

29
00:01:43,487 --> 00:01:51,820
And so I started reading him and there was a scene where it's in his point of view and he
talked about her lack of an ass and he goes,

30
00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:59,412
You'd think a brother like me would like a bitch with ass, but I was adopted by a white
family, so I'm not big on it.

31
00:01:59,972 --> 00:02:02,773
And I sat for a second.

32
00:02:03,073 --> 00:02:12,396
And I like, okay, picture me sitting in a room reading a book and I look at the invisible
camera watching me like, you have got to be shitting me.

33
00:02:13,676 --> 00:02:18,848
I finished the book because at this point I didn't have the capability of DNFing.

34
00:02:18,848 --> 00:02:20,371
Like I needed to know.

35
00:02:20,371 --> 00:02:20,962
Mm-hmm.

36
00:02:20,962 --> 00:02:29,085
I wrote the most raggedy view on Amazon about this book.

37
00:02:29,502 --> 00:02:31,766
And I made a video about it.

38
00:02:32,827 --> 00:02:38,409
I went back and looked at that video and it did well.

39
00:02:38,489 --> 00:02:43,491
Then a couple weeks later, I got a message on Instagram from the author of that book.

40
00:02:43,991 --> 00:02:48,153
And mind you, there was about a month between reading the book and making the video.

41
00:02:48,153 --> 00:02:50,603
The author had seen my review on Amazon.

42
00:02:50,603 --> 00:02:57,619
and had pulled the book, had hired one of her friends to read it and help her rewrite it
before ever seeing my video.

43
00:02:57,619 --> 00:02:59,821
So then she saw my video and reached out.

44
00:02:59,821 --> 00:03:02,304
She's like, I had no idea how to reach out to you.

45
00:03:02,304 --> 00:03:04,696
I saw your review on Amazon and I listened.

46
00:03:04,696 --> 00:03:06,648
I did this, I did that.

47
00:03:06,648 --> 00:03:11,451
And I just want to thank you for putting out there the truth about my book.

48
00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:16,556
And I don't know if you'll ever consider rereading it, but I'd love to send you a copy.

49
00:03:16,556 --> 00:03:17,269
And I was like,

50
00:03:17,269 --> 00:03:25,024
I appreciate that I'm gonna pass just because for me, like I'm not in a place where I
really wanna go back to that, but I really do appreciate you reaching out and letting me

51
00:03:25,024 --> 00:03:27,255
know that you did make those changes.

52
00:03:27,255 --> 00:03:28,318
And it kind of started.

53
00:03:28,318 --> 00:03:33,394
very mature of the author because I felt like that could have gone a completely different
way.

54
00:03:33,394 --> 00:03:38,278
it has, I promise you it, it has gone completely different way.

55
00:03:38,278 --> 00:03:43,383
eh But I was like, hmm, that was interesting.

56
00:03:43,383 --> 00:03:45,454
And I kept doing, I kept talking about books.

57
00:03:45,454 --> 00:04:00,617
I kept talking about what it's like to be a black human in the reading space, and a
predominantly white authored reading space, and what the representation of black mixed

58
00:04:00,664 --> 00:04:03,545
uh, multiracial identities have.

59
00:04:03,545 --> 00:04:08,736
And I got hired by an author to read their book and it just went from there.

60
00:04:08,736 --> 00:04:11,367
A lot of word of mouth, Hey, low read this.

61
00:04:11,367 --> 00:04:12,077
was really great.

62
00:04:12,077 --> 00:04:13,688
She gave me great feedback.

63
00:04:13,688 --> 00:04:18,019
And from there I've got three authors I read for consistently.

64
00:04:18,019 --> 00:04:23,687
Um, I'm on a pretty well rounded rotation with a lot of people.

65
00:04:23,687 --> 00:04:26,131
And then I get little stuff here and there.

66
00:04:26,743 --> 00:04:35,620
So question I have to that is the authors that you work with in terms of sensitivity,
because I think sometimes too there's a misconception that it's like, it's the white

67
00:04:35,620 --> 00:04:42,805
authors that need to use sensitivity readers, which is like to me, any author would
benefit from a sensitivity reader.

68
00:04:43,962 --> 00:04:55,849
I predominantly do work with white authors only because a lot of times they're coming to
me looking for corrections on how to write a character of color that seems to be the

69
00:04:55,849 --> 00:04:57,499
predominant request.

70
00:04:57,499 --> 00:04:59,571
Now I do read for a lot of other sensitivities.

71
00:04:59,571 --> 00:05:01,633
I read for women in the military.

72
00:05:01,633 --> 00:05:03,514
I read for mental health.

73
00:05:03,514 --> 00:05:06,836
I read for uh victims of DV.

74
00:05:07,154 --> 00:05:09,406
I read for victims of SA.

75
00:05:09,406 --> 00:05:10,827
I read for a lot of things.

76
00:05:10,827 --> 00:05:20,293
And I think a lot of people don't realize that you could write a story because a lot of
times we do those plot twists or these actions that we can say to plot devices that real

77
00:05:20,293 --> 00:05:21,994
people have lived through.

78
00:05:21,994 --> 00:05:26,047
And you might not have those, you might have those biases you didn't realize.

79
00:05:26,047 --> 00:05:35,473
Like I find that one of the big things that people, especially when they write DV and they
write SA is they immediately make the woman meek, timid.

80
00:05:35,857 --> 00:05:37,327
or afraid of touch.

81
00:05:37,327 --> 00:05:41,388
That is not always the reaction you get from an essay survivor.

82
00:05:41,428 --> 00:05:45,249
For some, there is a hypersexuality afterwards.

83
00:05:45,249 --> 00:05:54,141
There are so many different responses to different experiences, and I think that it's
really important that if you're going to be writing different experiences, you're making

84
00:05:54,141 --> 00:05:57,452
sure that you're clocking your inherent biases.

85
00:05:57,452 --> 00:06:05,274
And so while, yes, most people think racial identity when we think sensitivity reader, but
there are so many other caveats to that.

86
00:06:05,391 --> 00:06:08,315
And there's so many other things that you could be missing.

87
00:06:08,315 --> 00:06:14,503
And I think that every author should at least step back and be like, did I write something
I'm not exactly sure about?

88
00:06:14,923 --> 00:06:24,030
No, I think that's really good that you said that because I think to the other
misconception besides who needs a sensitivity reader is I love that you listed off the

89
00:06:24,030 --> 00:06:33,898
different things that you read for sensitivities because I think a lot of people do equate
sensitivity reader with race and not just like all these different situations essentially

90
00:06:33,898 --> 00:06:38,101
because to your point, if you haven't experienced it, then guess what?

91
00:06:38,101 --> 00:06:41,131
If you're writing about it, you need a sensitivity reader essentially.

92
00:06:41,131 --> 00:06:41,852
Absolutely.

93
00:06:41,852 --> 00:06:55,450
I mean the amount of veteran female veteran books that I have put my fingers in and been
like, oh That that's that's and been like hey, okay So this could happen but more likely

94
00:06:55,450 --> 00:07:04,706
this is gonna happen or this is not the the truth then I think that it's never More often
not for me the people that hire me.

95
00:07:04,706 --> 00:07:10,890
They're not intentionally being harmful They are just going with what they've seen
portrayed on

96
00:07:10,890 --> 00:07:12,781
TV and how often does TV get her?

97
00:07:12,781 --> 00:07:28,725
mean, I ah also read for medical, but I think that the last two years I have seen a
welcoming of the ideology of getting a sensitivity reader, editor, whatever you prefer to

98
00:07:28,725 --> 00:07:35,090
be called is not a admission of guilt, wrong or bad.

99
00:07:35,090 --> 00:07:39,043
It's a recognition that you are not perfect and you don't know everything.

100
00:07:39,506 --> 00:07:48,531
Yeah, and first of all, let's let's give a moment for your uh perseverance in nursing
school and not quitting on yourself.

101
00:07:48,812 --> 00:07:57,598
And and and Moni and listeners, if y'all are not listening, uh Lowe has the job, a little
jar that she has.

102
00:07:57,598 --> 00:08:04,262
And let's just talk about that for a second before I go into uh more things.

103
00:08:04,262 --> 00:08:08,947
Tell us about because you're also like uh not only did you

104
00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:17,203
finish the course and graduate, now you're actually a real live nurse RN, okay?

105
00:08:17,904 --> 00:08:24,109
And so tell us about your little beautiful jar and what it means and everything.

106
00:08:24,647 --> 00:08:28,269
So I was sure I wanted to do maternity somewhere.

107
00:08:28,269 --> 00:08:36,795
um My mom actually is a children's pastor and does uh jailhouse ministry on the side.

108
00:08:36,795 --> 00:08:45,401
And so I had thought about doing correctional medicine, specifically gyno, and visiting
pregnant women in jails.

109
00:08:45,401 --> 00:08:50,684
Now that is not a niche that exists yet, but it was something I wanted to do.

110
00:08:50,684 --> 00:08:54,160
uh But because

111
00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:56,511
I still wanted to be in the maternity care.

112
00:08:56,551 --> 00:09:01,253
I went through school, did all of my clinicals in labor and delivery that I could.

113
00:09:01,253 --> 00:09:05,864
And when I got out, I went from ICU to labor and delivery.

114
00:09:05,864 --> 00:09:21,110
And I created a jar where um I started on my page counting every delivery that I'm a part
of, whether it is a baby that stays Earthside or leaves us um or doesn't make it

115
00:09:21,110 --> 00:09:22,120
Earthside.

116
00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:23,477
I count every delivery.

117
00:09:23,477 --> 00:09:24,419
Yeah.

118
00:09:24,753 --> 00:09:33,003
and I've been doing that since day one of being on the floor and I'm officially over 300
now.

119
00:09:33,003 --> 00:09:34,517
Wow, that's amazing.

120
00:09:34,517 --> 00:09:35,617
sweetest thing.

121
00:09:35,617 --> 00:09:49,664
I just wanted her to share that because let's, I just finished a book, Desperado, comes
out tomorrow, but I had to get a, thank you sweetheart.

122
00:09:49,784 --> 00:09:56,427
I had to get a sensitivity reader about, and you wouldn't think this, sister locks, right?

123
00:09:56,427 --> 00:10:01,249
Because I don't have them and I've never had them.

124
00:10:01,514 --> 00:10:05,095
And I also cannot braid or lock my hair.

125
00:10:05,095 --> 00:10:10,776
So I have Whitney, who is another TikToker, because I met Low on TikTok.

126
00:10:10,876 --> 00:10:12,137
I met Low on TikTok.

127
00:10:12,137 --> 00:10:15,297
Like all the new people in my circle are TikTokers.

128
00:10:15,297 --> 00:10:25,830
uh And she took the amount of time that these people work in the nuances of what they do
is amazing.

129
00:10:25,830 --> 00:10:30,151
She took the time because I'm a, I like to listen and take notes.

130
00:10:30,151 --> 00:10:41,556
So she went through all of the process of the hair, all of the everything it takes to take
care of the hair, the amount of time it takes to, now did I use all of that?

131
00:10:41,556 --> 00:10:43,266
No, okay.

132
00:10:43,326 --> 00:10:52,570
Cause from his POV, all he cares about is that her hair is beautiful and it's soft.

133
00:10:52,730 --> 00:10:55,591
And at one point he washes it, whatever.

134
00:10:55,591 --> 00:10:57,941
And I was like, you know.

135
00:11:00,121 --> 00:11:13,031
I wanted he at one point he washes it and then I and then like I had to get another
sensitivity reader Who is really into tattoos who has like the full that she has a neck

136
00:11:13,031 --> 00:11:13,991
tattoo?

137
00:11:13,991 --> 00:11:17,444
And so we had the whole thing about like the tattoos and stuff.

138
00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:27,931
So it's so many little things that you have to To really talk about with respect

139
00:11:28,089 --> 00:11:31,820
Because there is a bias against people who wear tattoos.

140
00:11:31,820 --> 00:11:32,891
There is a bias.

141
00:11:32,891 --> 00:11:36,812
We had a whole crown act because of race.

142
00:11:36,932 --> 00:11:47,786
Yeah, like a lot of people, especially in the South where we are, we have uh conservative
Christian communities, it's looked at as a sin.

143
00:11:47,786 --> 00:11:50,176
It's looked at as a sin.

144
00:11:50,176 --> 00:11:52,588
So, Lo, what is what?

145
00:11:52,588 --> 00:11:56,054
and let me tell you, God is not sending somebody to hell for having a tattoo.

146
00:11:56,054 --> 00:12:06,823
Right, but that's because Moni got a whole thing on her shoulder, so she getting a little
spicy.

147
00:12:06,863 --> 00:12:07,869
Yeah

148
00:12:09,569 --> 00:12:16,029
something because I have seen a lot of new sensitivity readers coming to the forefront.

149
00:12:16,029 --> 00:12:22,509
And I think that it's really important to point out that just having that lived experience
is not enough.

150
00:12:22,609 --> 00:12:24,789
I use it always as an example.

151
00:12:24,789 --> 00:12:26,449
I had a woman come to me.

152
00:12:26,449 --> 00:12:33,969
She wrote a book and it included trafficking and it included Scotland and West Africa.

153
00:12:33,969 --> 00:12:35,512
Now, if you

154
00:12:35,658 --> 00:12:38,529
don't have a historical backing or knowledge.

155
00:12:38,529 --> 00:12:44,490
You wouldn't realize that when during the transatlantic slave trade, a lot of the boats
were built in Scotland.

156
00:12:45,030 --> 00:12:52,302
And so to have that trafficking from Scotland to West Africa and back, back to slave
trade.

157
00:12:52,302 --> 00:13:00,954
So I was able to say, hey, look, I know most of your readers are not going to have this
information, but there's somebody who might, and this is where this draws back from.

158
00:13:00,954 --> 00:13:02,785
So having that lived experience is great.

159
00:13:02,785 --> 00:13:04,265
You can absolutely

160
00:13:04,265 --> 00:13:11,980
talk to and on the nuances of the Black experience because you and I know the nuances are
large.

161
00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:21,027
Growing up in a Black family is very different than any other identity and it is
geographically and regionally different.

162
00:13:21,027 --> 00:13:30,053
so I think that not just having that lived experience but also being able to draw back to
historical context is really important or being able to show where research has come from.

163
00:13:30,053 --> 00:13:32,179
So my process is always

164
00:13:32,179 --> 00:13:40,908
I read three times, the first time just for pure enjoyment, because I have ADHD and if I
don't get that first read out first, I'm like, look at that, look at that, look at that

165
00:13:40,908 --> 00:13:43,510
throughout the whole book and I forget stuff.

166
00:13:43,510 --> 00:13:52,058
So that first time I read for fun, that second time I read for any big things that anybody
reading the book is gonna be like, ooh, that's problematic.

167
00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:55,422
And then that third time I read for...

168
00:13:56,151 --> 00:14:02,937
geographical regional issue small things and i don't have all of the knowledge but i'm
able to find a good.

169
00:14:02,937 --> 00:14:11,663
Or should i be like if you come here like i have a kid who's growing up in cali okay well
i didn't grow up in cali i grew up in new york the move to tennessee so i might not have

170
00:14:11,663 --> 00:14:15,947
all the those but i can definitely do the research or i can just speak to the nuances of.

171
00:14:15,947 --> 00:14:25,287
The black identity but i think that a lot of people think that sensitivity reading is just
being identity making sure you don't use stereotypes for.

172
00:14:25,287 --> 00:14:26,928
identity and that is it.

173
00:14:26,928 --> 00:14:34,607
There's nuances to everything and I think that it's really important and I tell authors
all the time, you don't have to hire me.

174
00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:44,952
I keep a long list of sensitivity readers behind me that if you don't want me, but I think
that it's really important that your sensitivity reader should already be speaking up for

175
00:14:44,952 --> 00:14:48,385
and about the communities you're hiring them to read for you.

176
00:14:48,385 --> 00:14:55,228
If this person is silent while the communities you're wanting them to read for are
suffering,

177
00:14:55,228 --> 00:15:01,378
They don't have the voice you may need to prevent you from adding to harm.

178
00:15:01,825 --> 00:15:05,146
That always makes me think of that phrase, I'll skinfolk and kinfolk.

179
00:15:05,146 --> 00:15:10,318
Right, and the thing is, like, I was as an author, right?

180
00:15:10,318 --> 00:15:11,638
You might remember this.

181
00:15:11,638 --> 00:15:15,119
This was last year, I think, or maybe earlier this year.

182
00:15:15,119 --> 00:15:18,440
I was reading a particular book, right?

183
00:15:18,580 --> 00:15:21,421
And then, and I was raving about the book.

184
00:15:23,481 --> 00:15:30,243
And then, Lo slid into my DMs and she's like, I enjoy the book, whatever.

185
00:15:30,243 --> 00:15:32,584
Just know that it's anti-Semitic.

186
00:15:33,508 --> 00:15:33,919
no!

187
00:15:33,919 --> 00:15:37,274
oh

188
00:15:37,274 --> 00:15:41,677
slid that little, deleted that little post.

189
00:15:41,938 --> 00:15:43,239
She saved me.

190
00:15:43,239 --> 00:15:54,048
She saved me because you know, the girlies will come for you and you don't even know that,
okay, I don't wanna promote an anti-semitic book.

191
00:15:54,048 --> 00:15:56,550
And so we slid that down.

192
00:15:56,550 --> 00:16:01,515
you know, you get the book, first of all, if the cover eats down, right?

193
00:16:01,515 --> 00:16:03,541
I'm like, okay, this is.

194
00:16:03,541 --> 00:16:12,101
gonna be amazing and then you get into it and it's just amazing and then because I'm not
I'm not a deep reader, right?

195
00:16:12,101 --> 00:16:24,461
I'm not a person that looks for every for enjoyment and all of this stuff is through
learning and being in community with people that you start to understand like deeper

196
00:16:24,461 --> 00:16:32,372
things because they read more deeply than you do right and so and they they pick up on
things and

197
00:16:32,372 --> 00:16:38,859
But this particular book had had a whole discussion going on like uh years prior.

198
00:16:38,859 --> 00:16:42,883
And she let me know because I was like raved about it.

199
00:16:42,893 --> 00:16:43,845
Thanks

200
00:16:45,414 --> 00:16:47,574
I think that.

201
00:16:47,574 --> 00:16:55,128
appreciate that, you know, and that's you are, she's always out there, Loma Rallis, doing
the work.

202
00:16:55,128 --> 00:16:56,480
And that's what she was saying.

203
00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:58,032
And why is that so important?

204
00:16:58,032 --> 00:17:00,456
uh Continue with that.

205
00:17:01,500 --> 00:17:04,021
I grew up reading.

206
00:17:04,021 --> 00:17:08,083
um I found safety in books.

207
00:17:08,083 --> 00:17:16,786
didn't have, my mom was amazing, but that was about it until she married my stepdad who,
that's daddy, that's my world.

208
00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:20,888
He passed 13 years ago, but still my world.

209
00:17:20,888 --> 00:17:24,169
um And so I found safety in books.

210
00:17:24,169 --> 00:17:27,791
And unfortunately, I didn't find a mirrored safety in books.

211
00:17:27,791 --> 00:17:29,351
There wasn't me.

212
00:17:29,351 --> 00:17:31,292
There wasn't,

213
00:17:31,419 --> 00:17:34,151
And when there was me, it was very shallow.

214
00:17:34,151 --> 00:17:39,073
was very superficial and it was very stereotypical.

215
00:17:39,934 --> 00:17:49,259
And I want to make sure that I help create a world that when my kids and their kids read
books, they're reflected in the books they're reading.

216
00:17:49,259 --> 00:17:59,693
And I think that even though I primarily work in the romance genre, I still think that I'm
doing something.

217
00:17:59,693 --> 00:18:03,604
And it's important for situations like yours where you didn't know.

218
00:18:03,663 --> 00:18:09,736
And there may have been a Jewish woman or man who's watching your page and is like, that's
the kind of stuff she promotes.

219
00:18:09,736 --> 00:18:14,187
And you miss out on a reader who or a potential friend.

220
00:18:14,187 --> 00:18:19,928
I got into it with an author not too long ago and she was like, you don't give grace.

221
00:18:20,008 --> 00:18:22,609
just go on the attack.

222
00:18:22,609 --> 00:18:26,490
And I was like, I think that's a very unfair characterization of me.

223
00:18:26,490 --> 00:18:30,850
because you don't see the work I do outside of you don't see those messages that I sent
before.

224
00:18:30,850 --> 00:18:34,670
I'm just like, hey, you may not know this, but this is really harmful.

225
00:18:34,670 --> 00:18:38,150
And this is why I had an author hire me to read a book.

226
00:18:38,150 --> 00:18:39,030
I love the book.

227
00:18:39,030 --> 00:18:39,970
It's a vampire book.

228
00:18:39,970 --> 00:18:43,790
It's giving very nineties, nostalgia, vampire diary vibes.

229
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:44,410
cannot wait.

230
00:18:44,410 --> 00:18:50,902
The first book is out and she said something online and I am not a

231
00:18:50,902 --> 00:18:58,848
always going to be on call since to be read I am for the book that you hired me for but I
messaged her like hey just so you know this language is no longer used this is the

232
00:18:58,848 --> 00:19:02,591
rhetoric this is why this rhetoric isn't is harmful.

233
00:19:03,252 --> 00:19:11,949
I want people to be successful and I don't work for races I think that's a really
important thing to note I'm not working for the people that are purposely harmful because

234
00:19:11,949 --> 00:19:18,979
they're not giving me their money they don't care I'm working for the people and with the
people that want to make sure they're not doing harm.

235
00:19:18,979 --> 00:19:27,473
So my intention is I always reach out, I'm like, did you know that this word not a good
word or this thought process is really harmful?

236
00:19:27,954 --> 00:19:37,739
But I also don't want people to think that we're required to tone police ourselves when
you do harm.

237
00:19:37,739 --> 00:19:39,209
That's just how I operate.

238
00:19:39,209 --> 00:19:47,902
wanna say it was three years ago, there was a large debate regarding trigger warnings.

239
00:19:47,902 --> 00:19:48,478
Mm-hmm.

240
00:19:48,478 --> 00:19:49,382
Yeah.

241
00:19:49,382 --> 00:19:53,405
and the head of this debate and I had a conversation.

242
00:19:53,405 --> 00:19:54,666
And I think this is really important.

243
00:19:54,666 --> 00:20:02,592
I said, you cannot be the educator of change, the leader of change while being the victim
of what needs to be changed.

244
00:20:02,793 --> 00:20:08,717
Because for the majority of the time when you were talking to people and you're educating
them, you have to temper yourself.

245
00:20:08,717 --> 00:20:15,062
You can be angry about the situation, but the majority of people that are gonna listen
when you yell are not the people that need the lesson.

246
00:20:15,062 --> 00:20:19,113
They're the people that have already learned a lesson and just wanna push your words
farther, further.

247
00:20:19,113 --> 00:20:28,036
The people that need to hear that lesson, they have to be coaxed in because they think
they're right and they're not willing to give up their position.

248
00:20:28,036 --> 00:20:34,657
We in America do this thing where we attribute our ego and our self-worth to our
rightness.

249
00:20:34,657 --> 00:20:39,489
So once you tell somebody they're wrong, they think it's you're attacking their
self-worth, you're attacking their ego.

250
00:20:39,489 --> 00:20:44,340
No, I'm correcting you so you can have the knowledge, not because I think you're bad.

251
00:20:44,340 --> 00:20:48,181
And so when we correct people,

252
00:20:48,286 --> 00:20:52,198
There has to be some grace given, there has to be some leeway.

253
00:20:52,198 --> 00:20:54,660
My mom used to say you always give somebody an out.

254
00:20:54,660 --> 00:20:57,121
Now they don't take that out, them.

255
00:20:57,222 --> 00:20:59,263
But you always initially give somebody an out.

256
00:20:59,263 --> 00:21:01,234
Hey, this is why this is problematic.

257
00:21:01,234 --> 00:21:04,506
Hey, did you know, blah, blah, blah.

258
00:21:04,686 --> 00:21:12,061
And I think that while a lot of times people see me getting on HeyBookBesties, let's talk
about this.

259
00:21:12,061 --> 00:21:13,635
That's after conversations have been had.

260
00:21:13,635 --> 00:21:17,165
That's after information and education has been given and people don't give a shit.

261
00:21:17,165 --> 00:21:18,228
And now I'm like, okay, cool.

262
00:21:18,228 --> 00:21:19,821
Let's make you an example.

263
00:21:20,602 --> 00:21:28,185
I see, like you said, people don't understand they're not seeing everything that's
happened behind the scenes so that we didn't get to this point.

264
00:21:28,185 --> 00:21:31,477
It's like we're at this point because I did all that and it didn't work.

265
00:21:31,477 --> 00:21:37,269
And so now, like you said, I got to make an example out of you so that everybody knows
this is what you don't do.

266
00:21:37,777 --> 00:21:47,531
Yeah, what happens when you either you've been paid and you've given the advice and they
was like, I'm just going to do it anyway.

267
00:21:48,973 --> 00:21:50,564
don't put my name in your book.

268
00:21:50,824 --> 00:21:54,827
I don't need that byline of edited by or sensitivity read by.

269
00:21:54,827 --> 00:22:04,592
In fact, if I don't reread the finished product, I don't allow authors to put my name in
their books as sensitivity read by because I don't know what you've changed.

270
00:22:05,373 --> 00:22:13,668
You're paying me to give you the education that I have built, the experiences I have
lived, and if you choose not to take them, that's fine.

271
00:22:13,852 --> 00:22:18,964
But understand when somebody when because a lot of times I talk about the books I work on.

272
00:22:18,964 --> 00:22:24,307
Like I just worked on like the vampire book I posted on my Instagram.

273
00:22:24,307 --> 00:22:32,841
Like because I'm I do this one thing where I send the I'll send the books to my Kindle and
I create like the author like this cute little like fake cover for their book where it'll

274
00:22:32,841 --> 00:22:40,734
be like secret project of so and so with Hey Book Best, the author services and I'll post
that I'm like reading it working on it, blah, blah.

275
00:22:41,282 --> 00:22:44,894
So if somebody asked me about it and I'm like, oh, well, yeah, I worked on it, but they
didn't take my advice.

276
00:22:44,894 --> 00:22:46,725
I'm not going to slam them.

277
00:22:47,445 --> 00:22:51,467
But if somebody asks me or somebody's like, hey, didn't you work?

278
00:22:51,568 --> 00:22:52,868
Absolutely.

279
00:22:52,908 --> 00:22:59,202
And I don't review, like review.

280
00:22:59,202 --> 00:23:01,213
I've never reviewed on my page.

281
00:23:01,213 --> 00:23:02,467
That's the one thing I always make.

282
00:23:02,467 --> 00:23:09,559
I always make the distinction between I recommend books, so I don't talk about negative on
my page, like as far as I didn't like a book.

283
00:23:09,559 --> 00:23:10,080
Yeah.

284
00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:17,944
I'll talk about a book being problematic because I found that stans and fans of authors,
they will latch onto that, you just didn't like it.

285
00:23:17,944 --> 00:23:24,056
No, if you look in my record of books that I talk about, I've never talked about a book I
didn't like.

286
00:23:24,056 --> 00:23:25,827
I've always talked about a book that's problematic.

287
00:23:25,827 --> 00:23:33,310
So I always have the room to critique it without that, you just didn't understand it, or
you just didn't like it from the fans.

288
00:23:33,811 --> 00:23:37,632
But I try not to mix my

289
00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:49,807
Hey, but best see author services and my sensitivity reading with my tick tock rants,
because I feel like if authors felt that if they didn't take my advice, I would slam them.

290
00:23:49,807 --> 00:23:54,549
They wouldn't, I wouldn't have that space to prevent harm.

291
00:23:54,549 --> 00:24:07,016
So more often than not, if I've read your book and no matter how I've worked with you, I'm
not going to post about it, like in a negative light or, or call it out.

292
00:24:07,146 --> 00:24:14,509
I am more likely to just unfollow, not interact, and if I'm asked about it, then yeah, no.

293
00:24:14,509 --> 00:24:18,534
Honesty is honesty, and I don't, I don't, I don't get paid to lie.

294
00:24:19,637 --> 00:24:21,890
I like my character more than I like money.

295
00:24:22,413 --> 00:24:26,733
Yeah, and like you said, you're protecting your integrity, your reputation.

296
00:24:26,959 --> 00:24:31,342
Absolutely and an author is a brand as much as I'm a brand.

297
00:24:31,342 --> 00:24:34,084
uh My brand looks different.

298
00:24:34,084 --> 00:24:39,517
It's not as politically correct as authors have to be.

299
00:24:39,517 --> 00:24:48,513
I I built my brand on talking about how the publishing space is hard for uh minority
identities.

300
00:24:48,513 --> 00:24:56,412
So I have not had to have that political correctness that some authors have to promote
themselves.

301
00:24:56,412 --> 00:25:07,956
think those that are traditionally published have to walk a finer line than those of us
that are indie where we feel like my brand is part of that might be, you know, discussing

302
00:25:07,956 --> 00:25:15,736
things that other people may not or whatever, but because I'm the one who's building it
and I only have to answer to me, eh then...

303
00:25:15,736 --> 00:25:24,328
example of that line not existing or not not existing but somebody who's found it to work
for them is Katie Robert.

304
00:25:24,369 --> 00:25:34,351
Katie Robert is really good about speaking on the issues that they feel are important
while being a hybrid author.

305
00:25:34,351 --> 00:25:40,747
Katie writes indie, writes those monster loving books that just eat down.

306
00:25:40,747 --> 00:25:46,682
And then also writes trad published, so hybrid author, but has found a way to always be
vocal.

307
00:25:46,682 --> 00:25:52,627
And I think that that is incentive privilege, absolutely, because of who they are.

308
00:25:52,627 --> 00:26:02,395
uh But I think that I'm hoping in future years that sets a trend for authors being able to
find their voice, because you would be surprised.

309
00:26:02,395 --> 00:26:09,741
I mean, you probably wouldn't be surprised by how many authors really sit back and are
like, this is fucked up, but I can't risk.

310
00:26:09,741 --> 00:26:10,326
it.

311
00:26:10,326 --> 00:26:16,960
Yeah, can't risk like feeding my kids, it's either feeding my kids or being quiet.

312
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:17,431
I mean.

313
00:26:17,431 --> 00:26:22,655
a lot of it is also how you come into the book space.

314
00:26:22,655 --> 00:26:34,945
like before Katie went trash, she was like Indy or uh with what Liz, what was that?

315
00:26:34,945 --> 00:26:40,569
I forgot the name of that smaller imprint, digital imprint, but she was always.

316
00:26:40,569 --> 00:26:41,422
uh

317
00:26:41,422 --> 00:26:45,006
out there like 10 years before she and she already had that.

318
00:26:45,006 --> 00:26:51,552
I think coming into it from you get an agent, done did all this querying and all of that
stuff.

319
00:26:51,552 --> 00:26:56,116
They, it used to be so much, oh, watch your behavior online.

320
00:26:56,116 --> 00:26:57,958
Don't ruffle any f-

321
00:26:59,556 --> 00:27:10,132
And I just find, and I'm glad that's what the freedom of being, Andy is, a lot of times is
like that kind of, you don't have to compromise your integrity, you know?

322
00:27:10,132 --> 00:27:18,017
And not that they are compromising, they're asking you to, but they want you to fit into a
certain brand.

323
00:27:18,017 --> 00:27:27,802
And you see some authors who were very like closed mouthed before, speaking more now and
good for them.

324
00:27:27,888 --> 00:27:31,324
You should have did it five years ago, but I'm not judging.

325
00:27:31,901 --> 00:27:39,901
think that the industry is definitely changing when you have authors like Katie Robert who
are saying, know what?

326
00:27:40,904 --> 00:27:42,024
I need to say this.

327
00:27:42,024 --> 00:27:43,784
I need to stand for something.

328
00:27:43,784 --> 00:27:46,345
My voice has the platform.

329
00:27:46,345 --> 00:27:52,737
Let me use that platform for those who don't have the platform.

330
00:27:52,737 --> 00:28:00,393
and Katie, I see Katie in my legs a lot of times and I'm like, oh, Katie, fun to say
something.

331
00:28:00,393 --> 00:28:01,204
Yeah.

332
00:28:01,204 --> 00:28:04,582
wait because I enjoy what they have to say.

333
00:28:05,013 --> 00:28:06,721
So well spoken.

334
00:28:06,721 --> 00:28:10,774
But also I think she understands what allyship really is.

335
00:28:10,774 --> 00:28:20,004
Because there's a lot of people that want to say that they're allies, but then when rubber
meets the road, there's not the intent and the action that needs to be there for you to

336
00:28:20,004 --> 00:28:22,236
really be a true ally.

337
00:28:22,296 --> 00:28:27,181
And so I think she's a great example of somebody that gets the assignment.

338
00:28:27,561 --> 00:28:28,651
oh It's funny.

339
00:28:28,651 --> 00:28:37,319
I was talking to a friend who does a lot of mutual aid and everything and she was saying
she's like, you know I've come to hate the word ally because a lot of times when somebody

340
00:28:37,319 --> 00:28:39,340
says they're an ally they think the work is done.

341
00:28:39,340 --> 00:28:40,832
They think they've hit the journey.

342
00:28:40,832 --> 00:28:51,940
She's like I like associate because that's a working position that is somebody who works
and who meets who rubber meets the road and they're still hitting it and it gives less of

343
00:28:51,940 --> 00:28:57,024
a completion a more of a I have work to do and I was like, you know what?

344
00:28:58,054 --> 00:28:59,387
like that.

345
00:28:59,387 --> 00:29:03,931
And so I totally forgot about that until you just said ally and I was like, you know what?

346
00:29:03,931 --> 00:29:06,605
I'm gonna tell you this story because I think you would like it too.

347
00:29:06,605 --> 00:29:07,825
Yes, no, definitely.

348
00:29:07,825 --> 00:29:08,745
I'm going to change that.

349
00:29:08,745 --> 00:29:10,249
I like that a lot.

350
00:29:10,249 --> 00:29:17,124
people, some people use accomplice, know, instead of accomplices is very good.

351
00:29:17,124 --> 00:29:18,895
And what happened?

352
00:29:18,895 --> 00:29:38,554
How do you feel being that you are a multiracial person and a multiracial uh family
marriage and all of that stuff about uh white authors writing outside of their uh race?

353
00:29:38,554 --> 00:29:42,422
and experience and writing black.

354
00:29:45,016 --> 00:29:59,729
No, I, so I, this is a great question because I have friends, mutuals that are on both
sides of white authors should create space for black authors to tell their stories and

355
00:29:59,729 --> 00:30:03,922
white authors should include black and other identity characters.

356
00:30:03,922 --> 00:30:08,026
And I think that everybody is absolutely within their rights to feel however they want.

357
00:30:08,026 --> 00:30:13,240
ah We saw a lot of this when Liz Tom Ford put out Mile High.

358
00:30:13,414 --> 00:30:23,663
and how people felt about that book and its portrayal and not just its betrayal, but the
representation that was supposedly in the book being that Liz is a white woman.

359
00:30:23,663 --> 00:30:33,400
so around that time, I had to sit back and decide where I wanted to take my business
because like I said, a lot of my authors are white authors trying to make sure they're not

360
00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:35,472
harmful, including black characters.

361
00:30:35,472 --> 00:30:43,056
um And so I think personally, it does not bother me as long as they're doing the work and

362
00:30:43,056 --> 00:30:45,208
being fully doing the work.

363
00:30:45,208 --> 00:30:54,455
One of my questions that I ask authors when I decide if I'm going to let them hire me
because I is why are you wanting to write this character?

364
00:30:54,595 --> 00:30:57,578
What does the character mean to you?

365
00:30:57,578 --> 00:30:59,359
Why do you feel the need?

366
00:30:59,359 --> 00:31:08,426
Because a lot of times it's to check a box because people are clamoring or demanding
diversity, not because the character has spoken to them.

367
00:31:08,710 --> 00:31:14,012
um I have an author I work for that does not write any non-white main characters.

368
00:31:14,213 --> 00:31:26,858
My job is to ensure that the world she's writing reflects the world outside accurately
because a lot of times authors will hone in just on their main characters and forget that

369
00:31:26,858 --> 00:31:32,781
your main characters are experiencing the world we experience and it's not just
homogenous.

370
00:31:32,821 --> 00:31:35,069
And so my job is to

371
00:31:35,069 --> 00:31:39,078
in a certain country and even then to some degree it's still not completely.

372
00:31:39,078 --> 00:31:40,099
Absolutely.

373
00:31:40,099 --> 00:31:44,484
But my job is to make sure the world they're writing is reflective of the world we live
in.

374
00:31:44,565 --> 00:31:50,802
And I think that it, like I said, it depends on the reasoning why you're writing this
character.

375
00:31:50,802 --> 00:31:51,625
Mm-hmm.

376
00:31:51,625 --> 00:32:01,185
I think also too as a Black author, and I know we've gotten into this discussion, Kenya
and I, with other authors that write, like I write in a racial romance.

377
00:32:01,285 --> 00:32:05,145
And so it becomes too then, so then can I, you know, am I not allowed?

378
00:32:05,145 --> 00:32:11,465
Because we can't in one breath say that the white author can't write any other race.

379
00:32:11,465 --> 00:32:17,125
And then I'm sitting over here writing other races that are paired up with my Black female
lead.

380
00:32:17,125 --> 00:32:19,781
And so it becomes a thing of like, is that

381
00:32:20,095 --> 00:32:22,136
Is that okay for me to say then?

382
00:32:22,136 --> 00:32:30,169
Because I know I don't want anybody dictating who I, because I already have to deal with
it from Black authors that are like, don't, Black authors and readers sometimes that are

383
00:32:30,169 --> 00:32:32,270
like, I don't want to read in racial.

384
00:32:32,571 --> 00:32:36,872
And it's like, but why are, why are we not just okay with a Black woman being loved?

385
00:32:36,872 --> 00:32:38,723
Why does that, why is that?

386
00:32:38,723 --> 00:32:41,023
just want to read a black woman being loved down.

387
00:32:41,023 --> 00:32:42,083
I don't care if you love her or not.

388
00:32:42,083 --> 00:32:43,663
It could be a white man, an Asian man.

389
00:32:43,663 --> 00:32:54,143
could be, oh, speaking of, I am trying to change my language when we talk about Asian men
or women because Asia is made up of 50 something different countries with different

390
00:32:54,143 --> 00:32:54,823
identities.

391
00:32:54,823 --> 00:32:56,243
So I'm trying to be loved down.

392
00:32:56,243 --> 00:32:59,463
I'm trying to watch a black woman be loved down by insubady.

393
00:32:59,865 --> 00:33:18,990
And the thing is like, cause I write Japanese ah billionaire heroes and I'm very specific
about writing Japanese ah billionaire heroes because that's what my ah friend group at the

394
00:33:18,990 --> 00:33:28,333
time when I was inspired to write that, what that, that I can, I'm going over to other
nationalities and stuff.

395
00:33:28,333 --> 00:33:29,013
ah

396
00:33:29,013 --> 00:33:34,315
maybe later, but right now I'm just so niched down into my Japanese villains.

397
00:33:35,156 --> 00:33:41,729
Because like you said, it's so much in the culture that you have to learn, know and
understand, right?

398
00:33:41,729 --> 00:33:49,782
Because I spelled Akiro wrong and they was like, you spelled Akiro wrong.

399
00:33:49,782 --> 00:33:56,378
And I was like, okay, but Akiro is now a legend in the KGB verse.

400
00:33:56,378 --> 00:34:01,181
and we ain't changing his name, we'll just acknowledge that the name is wrong.

401
00:34:01,181 --> 00:34:11,486
And I put an author's note in there, I was like, this is not how you spell Akiro, this is
like anime American version of Akiro, but this is not how you spell Akiro.

402
00:34:11,486 --> 00:34:14,587
And they was like, fine, we understand, we know.

403
00:34:14,628 --> 00:34:20,551
I'm sure it's Psalm, there are going to be some sticklers out there, but mistakes happen,
okay?

404
00:34:20,551 --> 00:34:25,041
And so my thing is, but going back to your point, Moni,

405
00:34:25,041 --> 00:34:30,181
is the reason we can write, and we can fight about this, I don't care.

406
00:34:30,181 --> 00:34:44,701
The reason we can write white characters and the reason that other people, BIPOC people
can write white characters is because we have been so immersed and assimilated into their

407
00:34:44,701 --> 00:34:46,461
society, right?

408
00:34:46,461 --> 00:34:48,421
The reverse is not the same.

409
00:34:48,421 --> 00:34:50,261
It is not the same.

410
00:34:50,321 --> 00:34:52,539
So go ahead.

411
00:34:52,539 --> 00:35:04,464
a video and I don't know how people feel about Justin Baldoni, but he had a podcast and he
had a woman on the podcast and he said, and he didn't say it, there was a black man on the

412
00:35:04,464 --> 00:35:11,087
podcast as well and the black man goes to the woman, why do you feel so comfortable
talking about masculinity?

413
00:35:11,087 --> 00:35:17,315
She goes, it's the same reason you feel so comfortable talking about racism, because
you've spent your life navigating it.

414
00:35:17,315 --> 00:35:19,002
Right, exactly.

415
00:35:19,002 --> 00:35:21,410
Exactly.

416
00:35:21,797 --> 00:35:33,033
I think there's a very big difference in writing a white character versus writing a black
character because there, but I mean, as far as like, there is a difference when we're

417
00:35:33,033 --> 00:35:40,388
talking about, like you said, we're immersed in a very white centric universe, if you
will.

418
00:35:40,388 --> 00:35:46,191
But also majority of times whiteness is just a skin complexion.

419
00:35:46,191 --> 00:35:47,019
Mm-hmm.

420
00:35:48,422 --> 00:36:02,336
For your average white person, they can tell you they are Irish, they are Italian, they
are uh Turkish, they are, and even Turkish is kind of, they can draw back to that.

421
00:36:02,336 --> 00:36:06,798
And then you can go study that nationality, that ethnicity.

422
00:36:06,798 --> 00:36:10,939
But for the majority of us, right?

423
00:36:10,939 --> 00:36:13,200
For the majority of us skin folk.

424
00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:14,930
Who is skin folk?

425
00:36:15,145 --> 00:36:21,281
There is a nuance that's buried inside of our Black identity.

426
00:36:21,281 --> 00:36:32,333
There is an underlying loss of connection that we have created a culture on top of, that
we have created an identity on top of.

427
00:36:32,333 --> 00:36:38,088
While a lot of us are getting into our identities where we're coming from because of these

428
00:36:38,088 --> 00:36:40,981
DNA results and being able to trace things back.

429
00:36:40,981 --> 00:36:45,005
There's still loss of that connection that we had to then turn around and say, okay, I
don't have this connection.

430
00:36:45,005 --> 00:36:46,427
Now let me build one.

431
00:36:46,427 --> 00:36:49,430
And our ancestors built a culture.

432
00:36:49,430 --> 00:37:00,581
Now there are deep roots within that that trace back to our African heritage, but there is
a overlying identity of just being black that exists.

433
00:37:00,641 --> 00:37:01,297
And I think...

434
00:37:01,297 --> 00:37:07,657
think like, you know, cause I've gotten in conversations with some other authors that
aren't black about certain things.

435
00:37:07,657 --> 00:37:17,317
And I'm like, listen, you guys don't understand all the time, the microaggressions that we
deal with on a daily basis, the nuances, the code switching, the, you know, just different

436
00:37:17,317 --> 00:37:18,037
things.

437
00:37:18,037 --> 00:37:26,245
mean, these days I don't have to code switch as much anymore because I don't work in a,
you know, in a space where I feel like I have to turn that on.

438
00:37:27,057 --> 00:37:28,758
But you know, that is a thing.

439
00:37:28,758 --> 00:37:37,202
we sometimes, not to say like two personalities, but we know that as professionals
sometimes there's a certain behavior.

440
00:37:37,202 --> 00:37:42,003
Like I can still remember when I was still working, I had gone natural with my hair.

441
00:37:42,064 --> 00:37:47,077
And another black woman was all like, you're not afraid that they're gonna, you know.

442
00:37:47,077 --> 00:37:54,581
And I was like, this is the, if Becky can walk in here with the hair that grows out of her
head, I dare somebody to come over here.

443
00:37:54,581 --> 00:38:00,741
and ask me about my hair because they're gonna see a whole other side to Monee that
they've never seen before.

444
00:38:01,564 --> 00:38:06,064
I think that so we'll go back to my very first big girl job.

445
00:38:06,084 --> 00:38:14,384
I started in the ICU and then I moved down to labor and delivery after a little bit of a
transition, right?

446
00:38:14,384 --> 00:38:22,304
And so when I was interviewing for the labor and delivery position, I had already been on
the mother baby floor during the end of school.

447
00:38:22,304 --> 00:38:27,365
So at the end of your nursing school, a lot of schools will have what's called a
preceptorship.

448
00:38:27,365 --> 00:38:32,158
where you'll actually go to school one day and you'll spend two days following a nurse in
the hospital.

449
00:38:32,158 --> 00:38:39,501
And we compete, I mean, time compete for those positions because a lot of times they turn
into jobs.

450
00:38:39,842 --> 00:38:42,963
And so, but I already had a job in the ICU.

451
00:38:43,084 --> 00:38:51,128
but Mother Baby had opened a spot and my teacher was like, low, this is as close to labor
as you're gonna get for preceptorship.

452
00:38:51,128 --> 00:38:56,371
So I had already been inside of that hospital, that world.

453
00:38:56,659 --> 00:39:07,753
mom baby and so we had a lactation consultant and we're doing something i remember what it
was a day shift i don't like day shift everybody's there and so this woman comes in and

454
00:39:07,753 --> 00:39:17,436
she's doing a walk through for an interview and she's walking through and she says hi to
all of us are showing her the floor and she leaves and everybody immediately turns start

455
00:39:17,436 --> 00:39:21,581
gossiping now this is this is her views

456
00:39:21,581 --> 00:39:29,534
And so they're talking about what she's wearing, where her hair, and mind you, y'all see
me, my curly hair be curly, curly.

457
00:39:29,534 --> 00:39:36,818
And so the lactation consultant looks at me and she goes, Lo, when you graduate, make sure
your hair is straight when you go on interviews.

458
00:39:39,908 --> 00:39:42,731
There must be another low in here, because I know you're not talking to me.

459
00:39:42,731 --> 00:39:43,377
that.

460
00:39:43,377 --> 00:39:44,226
Mm-hmm.

461
00:39:45,316 --> 00:39:56,972
So it happened to be not because I'd listened to her, but because I was wearing an outfit
that night going out that I wanted my hair straight when I went for my labor and delivery

462
00:39:56,972 --> 00:39:59,113
interview that I did straighten my hair.

463
00:39:59,113 --> 00:40:05,196
And so I did the whole walkthrough and the lactation consultant happened to be there and
she goes, you listen to me.

464
00:40:05,196 --> 00:40:07,141
said, what?

465
00:40:07,141 --> 00:40:09,098
She's like, well, your hair, it's manageable.

466
00:40:09,098 --> 00:40:10,188
I look.

467
00:40:10,717 --> 00:40:11,728
my God.

468
00:40:11,728 --> 00:40:12,731
management.

469
00:40:14,586 --> 00:40:22,946
When I tell you the next day I came in for preceptorship, it was the curliest thing you
had ever seen in your entire life.

470
00:40:23,546 --> 00:40:32,066
And so I was the only black nurse on night shift for my unit for a very long time.

471
00:40:32,646 --> 00:40:38,346
it happened to be, and so again, the hair thing was, everybody's like, oh, your hair
changes so much.

472
00:40:38,346 --> 00:40:41,606
And I'm like, girl, I'll be pink tonight and green tomorrow.

473
00:40:41,606 --> 00:40:42,680
Don't play with me.

474
00:40:42,680 --> 00:40:43,524
Mm-hmm.

475
00:40:44,140 --> 00:40:51,058
And so our director comes in and she goes, can you manage to tame that?

476
00:40:51,220 --> 00:40:53,616
Can you manage to meet me in HR?

477
00:40:54,240 --> 00:40:56,138
that, like, managed to tame that?

478
00:40:56,138 --> 00:40:59,234
Like, chick, this is the hair that grows out of my head, like...

479
00:41:00,375 --> 00:41:02,175
She's like, well, why do we need to go HR?

480
00:41:02,175 --> 00:41:05,415
said, well, my mama is an HR manager of a Fortune 500 company.

481
00:41:05,415 --> 00:41:07,955
She taught me how to deal with racism from a very young age.

482
00:41:07,955 --> 00:41:13,875
And we need a conversation in front of somebody who's going to prevent me from choking you
out because I like my job.

483
00:41:15,535 --> 00:41:21,096
But there is just these, and that's not even a microaggression, that's just an aggression.

484
00:41:21,096 --> 00:41:21,561
yes

485
00:41:21,561 --> 00:41:23,317
overtly funny.

486
00:41:23,563 --> 00:41:31,277
There's the giving me the black patient who told the charge nurse her name that she picked
for the baby and we can't pronounce it.

487
00:41:31,277 --> 00:41:33,468
So, Lo, you'll be great.

488
00:41:33,468 --> 00:41:40,211
It was the always getting the aggressive, aggressive patients.

489
00:41:40,211 --> 00:41:40,921
They weren't aggressive.

490
00:41:40,921 --> 00:41:47,534
They just knew that their lives were hanging in the balance every time they came into the
hospital and they wanted somebody to listen.

491
00:41:47,534 --> 00:41:49,375
oh

492
00:41:49,375 --> 00:42:01,255
But that also goes back to what we're talking about, about like an experience as being a
Black person, of why we get so assertive is because we know that even when it comes to

493
00:42:01,255 --> 00:42:05,669
like birth rates, Black women have a higher mortality.

494
00:42:05,773 --> 00:42:10,363
So it's like if we don't advocate for ourselves, then who's going to do that?

495
00:42:10,683 --> 00:42:21,263
Last time I checked, which I check pretty often, it's five to seven times more likely to
die during and after childbirth.

496
00:42:21,483 --> 00:42:25,903
And more often than not, there are risk factors involved, absolutely.

497
00:42:25,903 --> 00:42:31,853
Cardiovascular, pulmonary, however, it is always precepted by the lack of listening.

498
00:42:31,853 --> 00:42:32,833
Yes.

499
00:42:33,194 --> 00:42:34,696
I mean, I've experienced that.

500
00:42:34,696 --> 00:42:40,101
I'm not a mother, but like I've had asthma my whole life.

501
00:42:40,101 --> 00:42:41,632
And for a while it was fine.

502
00:42:41,632 --> 00:42:47,568
I didn't like earlier this year, I ended up having an asthma attack that wasn't attributed
to anything.

503
00:42:47,568 --> 00:42:49,980
And had to go to the urgent care.

504
00:42:49,980 --> 00:42:57,696
And when I say that woman disregarded everything I stated, and I'm like, lady, I've had
this my whole life.

505
00:42:58,039 --> 00:42:59,700
I know that something is wrong.

506
00:42:59,700 --> 00:43:08,994
And so when she finally wrote me like a referral to like a pulmonologist, I get in there,
they give me a test and this man is like looking at me and he's like, lady, you are

507
00:43:08,994 --> 00:43:12,836
breathing at like a 70 % lung capacity, what is going on?

508
00:43:12,836 --> 00:43:22,361
And like, I felt so validated because he took the time to like, but you know, it's like,
if I hadn't pushed, who knows what would have happened later.

509
00:43:22,361 --> 00:43:23,841
Yeah.

510
00:43:23,841 --> 00:43:29,473
I OK, going back to when you was talking about code switching, I used to be so affected.

511
00:43:29,473 --> 00:43:30,043
Right.

512
00:43:30,043 --> 00:43:38,125
And I my husband was like, if you change your voice anymore, people are going to think
you're because.

513
00:43:39,946 --> 00:43:44,167
Because I'm from Alabama and y'all, this is my real voice.

514
00:43:44,167 --> 00:43:44,457
Right.

515
00:43:44,457 --> 00:43:47,601
And sometimes when I get excited, it's the other words.

516
00:43:47,601 --> 00:43:48,461
run together.

517
00:43:48,461 --> 00:43:52,021
That's why I write my books with, my goodness, being one word.

518
00:43:52,021 --> 00:43:54,961
Because, oh my goodness is one word in Alabama.

519
00:43:55,001 --> 00:44:04,741
And so when I stopped working after I had my son, my husband was like, thank God, because
you weren't fooling nobody.

520
00:44:06,361 --> 00:44:15,349
He was like, you were, he was like, yo, he was like, you talk to a person and within the
conversation, your voice.

521
00:44:15,349 --> 00:44:16,981
matches theirs, right?

522
00:44:16,981 --> 00:44:18,914
I was a music theater person.

523
00:44:18,914 --> 00:44:23,870
Well, theater, because I cannot sing, but I love the theater.

524
00:44:23,870 --> 00:44:26,283
So I can pick up on and mimic.

525
00:44:26,283 --> 00:44:29,738
oh

526
00:44:29,738 --> 00:44:35,025
it's because I have ADHD and I parrot what you give me so you like my personality?

527
00:44:35,025 --> 00:44:37,100
Cool, it's a mirror, I'm showing you you.

528
00:44:37,100 --> 00:44:47,014
Yes, I, and so my thing, and mirroring is very much part of like the autism community and
like my husband's like, we all got a little tilled him.

529
00:44:47,014 --> 00:44:47,895
That's what he called it.

530
00:44:47,895 --> 00:44:55,248
Cause we, our kids are all on the spectrum and like as they were born, each one was less
affected.

531
00:44:55,248 --> 00:44:55,628
Right?

532
00:44:55,628 --> 00:45:00,120
So my oldest son has uh echolalia, right?

533
00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:05,272
And he, Peppa Pig come on, he taught like,

534
00:45:05,336 --> 00:45:23,481
The British he talked like Peppa Pig now, you know, and so yeah, and it was This was years
ago so he but he would pick up like and it really he was nonverbal and so he was um Talk

535
00:45:23,481 --> 00:45:29,755
and he saw when he was learning to speak we was like encouraging him like that and my
husband's like he get it so naturally cuz you

536
00:45:34,717 --> 00:45:41,197
That's hilarious, but I think that's what so I grew up in a Really?

537
00:45:41,197 --> 00:45:47,377
Well, I was born and first few years raised in a very very diverse Neighborhood.

538
00:45:47,377 --> 00:45:57,517
I mean my next-door neighbor was from India The woman that lived across from me was from
Barbados my by my stepfather was from Barbados Like I'm talking like there was two white

539
00:45:57,517 --> 00:46:00,329
families on a street of 45 people

540
00:46:00,559 --> 00:46:01,481
Mm-hmm.

541
00:46:02,794 --> 00:46:04,555
Barbecues were life.

542
00:46:04,595 --> 00:46:05,635
Life.

543
00:46:05,856 --> 00:46:07,137
Kickback was everything.

544
00:46:07,137 --> 00:46:20,830
um And so I never knew until I moved, I lived in Long Island, I never knew until I moved,
my identity was something different because nobody was the same where I'm from.

545
00:46:20,830 --> 00:46:30,496
I mean, my grandfather is Creole, he was Black, and my grandmother was Native American.

546
00:46:31,118 --> 00:46:35,241
Black and Native American, like that multiracial family.

547
00:46:35,241 --> 00:46:39,352
So when we moved to Tennessee, I was like.

548
00:46:41,250 --> 00:46:42,841
Wait a minute.

549
00:46:43,301 --> 00:46:46,693
And I said, and that was pretty blessing for blessing for me.

550
00:46:46,693 --> 00:46:47,354
And not really.

551
00:46:47,354 --> 00:46:49,465
The printer ran out of ink on me.

552
00:46:50,020 --> 00:46:53,188
I still stood the fuck out.

553
00:46:53,188 --> 00:47:05,355
And so I learned to code switch as a teenager because like being at home, my dad, like I
said, my the man that raised me, my dad, Barbaden.

554
00:47:05,355 --> 00:47:05,840
What happened?

555
00:47:05,840 --> 00:47:06,628
We're talking about.

556
00:47:06,628 --> 00:47:08,339
Like everything ran together.

557
00:47:08,339 --> 00:47:11,670
I went to school and they were like, what are you staying?

558
00:47:11,691 --> 00:47:23,057
And so was out of fear of not belonging, not being included, that I learned to speak like
I do in professional settings.

559
00:47:23,057 --> 00:47:24,858
But let me get comfortable.

560
00:47:24,858 --> 00:47:26,253
Let me get comfortable.

561
00:47:26,253 --> 00:47:27,339
It's like right now.

562
00:47:27,339 --> 00:47:28,780
It's like right now.

563
00:47:28,800 --> 00:47:33,882
And so I think that my kids don't code switch.

564
00:47:34,263 --> 00:47:36,749
don't, I didn't.

565
00:47:36,749 --> 00:47:38,229
teach them that necessity.

566
00:47:38,229 --> 00:47:46,729
My kids talk the way they talk in every situation, minus my 17 year old, because he likes
to think he's cool when he gets around his friends and get a little mouthy and he gets a

567
00:47:46,729 --> 00:47:47,349
little cuss words.

568
00:47:47,349 --> 00:47:49,189
And then he comes home and he's like, oh, I shouldn't have said that.

569
00:47:49,189 --> 00:47:51,829
I was like, no, because you're not with your friends right now.

570
00:47:51,989 --> 00:47:59,769
But I very much encouraged my kids to not have to do that.

571
00:48:00,929 --> 00:48:03,089
I wanted my kids to embrace who they were.

572
00:48:03,089 --> 00:48:06,273
My daughter is Italian, Irish.

573
00:48:06,273 --> 00:48:08,294
Black, Mexican, indigenous.

574
00:48:08,294 --> 00:48:15,647
eh So a lot of culture, a lot of experiences, a lot of different things.

575
00:48:15,647 --> 00:48:21,299
And so it's interesting to see her, her little like quarks of every different thing.

576
00:48:21,299 --> 00:48:23,380
And I never want her to lose that.

577
00:48:23,380 --> 00:48:29,923
I never wanted her to have to wash, wash her identity to fit in.

578
00:48:29,943 --> 00:48:34,623
so I've always told her, if you don't fit in, that's not a place for you to exist in.

579
00:48:34,623 --> 00:48:36,400
Exactly, exactly.

580
00:48:36,400 --> 00:48:39,447
And I feel, go ahead.

581
00:48:39,447 --> 00:48:40,828
no, you good, you good.

582
00:48:40,828 --> 00:48:44,650
I just, and I understand a lot of people are like, well, professional life.

583
00:48:44,650 --> 00:48:51,795
My kids are raised that their professional life is going to be where they fit in as well.

584
00:48:52,776 --> 00:48:55,728
I'm raising entrepreneurs, I'm raising business women.

585
00:48:55,728 --> 00:48:56,338
So guess what?

586
00:48:56,338 --> 00:49:00,278
Their boss is going to tell them because the boss is in the mirror, he being you.

587
00:49:00,278 --> 00:49:01,140
No.

588
00:49:01,940 --> 00:49:08,205
As we see with so many people got laid off yesterday, 40,000 people, you know, from one
corporation.

589
00:49:08,205 --> 00:49:17,813
ah You don't have to worry about being a boss if you're your own boss, getting fired if
you're your own boss, which Monie is a great entrepreneur always.

590
00:49:17,813 --> 00:49:26,380
But I love that we are now because of uh the Internet and TikTok.

591
00:49:26,380 --> 00:49:30,103
And you can talk a little bit about what that experience has been.

592
00:49:30,249 --> 00:49:39,803
and uh navigating that as a sensitivity reader, black one, black uh professional in that
space.

593
00:49:39,803 --> 00:49:49,177
uh Because of that and people being educated, like you said, some people just don't know
what they don't know about other cultures.

594
00:49:49,177 --> 00:49:51,048
And once they get it, they get it.

595
00:49:51,048 --> 00:49:57,356
Because one thing about Yulo and other sensitivity readers and reviewers and book talkers,

596
00:49:57,356 --> 00:50:02,337
is like, once you can never say you don't know now, now you know better.

597
00:50:02,337 --> 00:50:05,878
So therefore you have the choice to do better.

598
00:50:05,878 --> 00:50:09,619
So what is that like navigating that space?

599
00:50:09,619 --> 00:50:24,243
ah Because you have had several viral TikTok and thread moments where you have gotten into
the fray around.

600
00:50:24,243 --> 00:50:25,517
ah

601
00:50:25,517 --> 00:50:28,172
sensitivity reading and representation.

602
00:50:28,440 --> 00:50:45,441
It's a it starts out as a very scary place because from the jump you have to decide are
you going to be okay if people don't like you and I was a very very very sensitive Sally

603
00:50:45,441 --> 00:50:55,101
for a while I wanted everybody to like me ADHD I'm mirroring you besides instead of
showing you me and so

604
00:50:55,306 --> 00:51:04,044
I had to sit down with myself and decide what was more important, being liked or making
change.

605
00:51:04,044 --> 00:51:05,755
And why did I wanna make that change?

606
00:51:05,755 --> 00:51:08,137
Like, was it for fame?

607
00:51:08,137 --> 00:51:10,299
Was it to get popular?

608
00:51:10,299 --> 00:51:13,862
Was it for me to be viral or get clout?

609
00:51:13,862 --> 00:51:18,115
Or was it because I actually saw the vitality of change?

610
00:51:18,296 --> 00:51:21,791
I saw the need for it and I wanted to, whether it was...

611
00:51:21,791 --> 00:51:26,934
being the face of or being the proponent that pushed behind the scenes wanted to see that
change.

612
00:51:26,934 --> 00:51:36,510
um And one day my husband and I sat down because I was seeing like all these content
creators getting like all of this stuff.

613
00:51:36,510 --> 00:51:38,116
They were being flown out.

614
00:51:38,116 --> 00:51:40,163
They were being sent stuff.

615
00:51:40,163 --> 00:51:44,035
And I was like, I do more and get less.

616
00:51:44,035 --> 00:51:47,527
And he goes, well, if you were less confrontational, you'd probably get more.

617
00:51:48,213 --> 00:51:54,406
And I sat down and said, I don't want to be less confrontational if it means people get to
be harmful.

618
00:51:54,406 --> 00:51:59,868
I'd rather be, I'd rather make the changes that, or help make those changes.

619
00:51:59,868 --> 00:52:10,812
It was scary because I will tell you being tagged when you didn't post anything for a
while and you're like, you see so-and-so mentioned you, you're like, what did I do?

620
00:52:11,112 --> 00:52:12,533
What did I do?

621
00:52:12,833 --> 00:52:16,975
I have a video that every couple of months resurvises.

622
00:52:16,975 --> 00:52:18,015
It is my

623
00:52:18,015 --> 00:52:20,016
Critique on SJM.

624
00:52:20,016 --> 00:52:35,517
It is my critique on her post about Breonna Taylor and every couple of months it goes it
pops back up and I think that Because of her cult-like following the majority of the

625
00:52:35,517 --> 00:52:47,988
people seeing it now are fans of hers that want to rail on me So it is it is one of the
you have to be thick-skinned being on tik-tok and putting yourself on social media

626
00:52:47,988 --> 00:52:50,970
to begin with, somebody's always gonna have a problem with something you do.

627
00:52:50,970 --> 00:52:58,545
You could say the sky is blue and it could be like, it's a tinge of green, it has some
orange in it, you're blind, you're stupid, your mom is dumb.

628
00:52:58,545 --> 00:53:02,568
And I'm just like, dang, I said it was blue.

629
00:53:03,908 --> 00:53:08,532
I think that there's a level of thick skin you must have to get on social media to begin
with.

630
00:53:08,532 --> 00:53:17,694
But to then have to, but then once you start creating content where you're putting your
thoughts, your critique out there.

631
00:53:17,694 --> 00:53:22,557
There's a level of being able to defend them that you have to have.

632
00:53:22,557 --> 00:53:27,419
There are people that are going to have honest critiques about what you're critiquing.

633
00:53:27,419 --> 00:53:33,283
They're going to want to engage with you and have discourse and have conversations.

634
00:53:33,283 --> 00:53:35,964
And those are the people I always give my time to.

635
00:53:36,024 --> 00:53:42,988
But there's another faction on the internet, call them trolls, who are looking for
anything to say.

636
00:53:42,988 --> 00:53:46,475
They don't even have to believe the shit they're typing.

637
00:53:46,475 --> 00:53:46,978
Nope.

638
00:53:46,978 --> 00:53:53,258
are just going to be the most flagrant out-of-pocket things said.

639
00:53:53,258 --> 00:54:05,078
I have had DCF called, I have had my job called, I have had crap sent to my house that was
just out of pocket.

640
00:54:05,898 --> 00:54:11,578
And there's a level of unhinged you have to be to do those things.

641
00:54:11,638 --> 00:54:15,976
And I realized that being in the medical field, people are...

642
00:54:15,976 --> 00:54:19,136
And mental health is a big problem in this country.

643
00:54:19,156 --> 00:54:25,196
So, standing with all of that knowledge, I had to decide if this was something I still
wanted to do.

644
00:54:26,096 --> 00:54:29,696
so, my son and I had a conversation, actually.

645
00:54:29,696 --> 00:54:30,736
He's 17.

646
00:54:30,736 --> 00:54:32,696
I think he was 15 at the time.

647
00:54:32,696 --> 00:54:36,996
And he asked me, and I was telling him, like, I was considering backing away, not doing
this.

648
00:54:36,996 --> 00:54:45,535
And he was like, would you be comfortable knowing that if you backed away, four more books
would go out that would be harmful to people that just wanted to read?

649
00:54:45,737 --> 00:54:46,761
Right.

650
00:54:46,949 --> 00:54:51,783
said, boy, if you don't get out of my room with this philosophical BS, he was lying.

651
00:54:51,783 --> 00:54:52,446
right.

652
00:54:52,446 --> 00:54:54,091
That's amazing.

653
00:54:54,631 --> 00:54:56,514
Out of the mouth of Mr.

654
00:54:56,514 --> 00:55:02,252
Life 360, that's what we call him, because he's forever tracking my movements on Life 360.

655
00:55:02,252 --> 00:55:03,884
He should, he should.

656
00:55:03,884 --> 00:55:06,236
I'm hyper vigilant like that too.

657
00:55:06,236 --> 00:55:09,862
So I am, I know where everybody is.

658
00:55:10,673 --> 00:55:23,316
But he, and even though he's blocked from my TikTok, because I'd be showing some spicy
videos and talk about spicy books, he's one of my biggest supporters about making change

659
00:55:23,316 --> 00:55:28,798
in the literary world for people that look like him, for people that look like my
daughter.

660
00:55:28,798 --> 00:55:39,411
And while I wish he was a bigger reader, he will go to Barnes and Noble with me and spend
a couple hours walking around grabbing books and doing his own thing.

661
00:55:39,411 --> 00:55:40,831
uh

662
00:55:41,073 --> 00:55:44,908
But that really sat with me, that that's what he took from it.

663
00:55:45,770 --> 00:55:52,259
Would I be comfortable if former books went out that caused harm knowing that they could
have been fixed?

664
00:55:52,565 --> 00:55:53,898
Absolutely.

665
00:55:54,096 --> 00:55:56,708
And I was like, no, no.

666
00:55:56,708 --> 00:55:59,831
And so I had to, I did refocus.

667
00:55:59,831 --> 00:56:01,342
did, I put out a video.

668
00:56:01,342 --> 00:56:06,686
want to say right after the SJ Tilly, not SJ Tilly.

669
00:56:06,686 --> 00:56:07,326
Ooh, sorry.

670
00:56:07,326 --> 00:56:08,037
Love you, baby.

671
00:56:08,037 --> 00:56:08,937
Tilly Cole.

672
00:56:08,937 --> 00:56:14,322
um The triple K romances were becoming talked about.

673
00:56:14,322 --> 00:56:23,919
said, we needed to reframe or reconsider how we engage with problematic material because I
felt like a lot of times people were entering the dragon tag, the

674
00:56:23,919 --> 00:56:36,978
to tag the author and drag them space or just villainizing people and not wanting change
and not wanting correction, not wanting accountability.

675
00:56:36,978 --> 00:56:45,444
And I think that one of the things I had to sit with is why am I engaging with this
material and what do I want from this engagement?

676
00:56:45,764 --> 00:56:49,537
And so I had to alter how I engaged with content.

677
00:56:49,537 --> 00:56:51,738
Like I had to alter the things I was engaging with.

678
00:56:51,738 --> 00:56:52,949
I had to alter

679
00:56:53,241 --> 00:56:55,432
who I was talking to about these problems.

680
00:56:55,432 --> 00:57:03,006
Because yeah, I do give grace to do have these conversations, but a lot of times I'm not
even talking to the authors that are doing these things anymore because they don't give a

681
00:57:03,006 --> 00:57:03,627
shit.

682
00:57:03,627 --> 00:57:08,669
I'm talking to the readers and being like, this is why this content shouldn't be something
you enjoy.

683
00:57:08,669 --> 00:57:18,195
um I don't remember what video it was, but I was talking about a book and I was like, why
do you look for escapism and the harm of a minority identity?

684
00:57:18,195 --> 00:57:21,156
Why is that what you find enjoyment in?

685
00:57:21,156 --> 00:57:23,197
And I think you need to sit with that.

686
00:57:23,585 --> 00:57:34,463
Like we can absolutely talk about that there are tropes and genres and plot devices that
people use that in real life are harmful.

687
00:57:35,044 --> 00:57:38,107
That we allow, we bypass.

688
00:57:38,107 --> 00:57:42,751
I mean, we created a whole literary device of dubcon.

689
00:57:42,751 --> 00:57:45,312
In real life, dubcon does not exist.

690
00:57:45,813 --> 00:57:48,419
Noncon is not, rape is rape is rape.

691
00:57:48,419 --> 00:58:01,566
But we we created this, this idea of dub con to kind of give safe space for those unsafe
actions that sometimes people fantasize about being taken and all of those things.

692
00:58:01,566 --> 00:58:05,769
And we need to engage, think about how we engage with those things.

693
00:58:05,769 --> 00:58:09,150
And so there's all these literary devices that exist, right?

694
00:58:09,150 --> 00:58:12,222
And some of them are really harmful to continue to perpetuate.

695
00:58:12,222 --> 00:58:15,194
And some people can be actual victims of these things.

696
00:58:15,194 --> 00:58:17,845
So when we're talking about, think that

697
00:58:18,221 --> 00:58:22,624
We're talking about, I'm all over the place, but we're talking about these literary
devices.

698
00:58:22,624 --> 00:58:26,736
I have a uh method I give authors or I have a formula.

699
00:58:26,736 --> 00:58:36,061
If you cannot be the victim of the system you are giving a redemption arc to, you cannot
give that redemption arc.

700
00:58:36,302 --> 00:58:45,227
And so I think that when I started talking about how to change what I engaged with,

701
00:58:45,227 --> 00:58:49,148
I used that as a method to who I engaged with.

702
00:58:49,148 --> 00:58:51,399
I that for the content I engaged with.

703
00:58:51,399 --> 00:59:00,912
Like if an author is writing about a system that can't harm them, but they're giving that
happily ever to that system, hence the Tilly Cole, she can't be a victim of the KKK.

704
00:59:00,912 --> 00:59:04,273
So she shouldn't be giving a redemption arc to the KKK.

705
00:59:04,653 --> 00:59:12,155
I think that I really refined what content I addressed with my followers.

706
00:59:12,682 --> 00:59:13,565
I love that.

707
00:59:13,565 --> 00:59:15,374
if that answered your question.

708
00:59:15,374 --> 00:59:17,780
that you do that and you try to educate.

709
00:59:18,199 --> 00:59:19,111
Mm-hmm.

710
00:59:19,111 --> 00:59:19,543
your question.

711
00:59:19,543 --> 00:59:21,099
I think I went on a tangent, but.

712
00:59:21,099 --> 00:59:22,369
But yes, you did.

713
00:59:22,369 --> 00:59:23,651
Yes, you did.

714
00:59:23,651 --> 00:59:33,386
You did it perfectly because I have never thought about that because that even still
applies to authors who are Black and have other marginalizations.

715
00:59:33,386 --> 00:59:44,283
If you can't be a victim of, say, for instance, a person being ah essayed in a mental
institution, should you be writing that?

716
00:59:44,283 --> 00:59:45,964
Regardless of what your...

717
00:59:45,964 --> 00:59:48,319
uh

718
00:59:48,319 --> 00:59:52,055
there are those books out there, know, believe it or not.

719
00:59:52,943 --> 00:59:53,314
are.

720
00:59:53,314 --> 00:59:56,604
um Cute but Psycho is one of them.

721
00:59:56,604 --> 00:59:59,307
um But the author did a really good job.

722
00:59:59,307 --> 01:00:01,328
has my reading taste.

723
01:00:01,328 --> 01:00:09,194
But she's definitely, she's really more, Lo has my dark reading taste, I'll say that.

724
01:00:09,194 --> 01:00:15,479
But Lo goes further because she is really deep in the Omegaverse world.

725
01:00:15,479 --> 01:00:20,912
And she has a great explanation of breaking that down.

726
01:00:20,912 --> 01:00:22,923
She did that wonderfully.

727
01:00:22,964 --> 01:00:23,724
And so.

728
01:00:23,724 --> 01:00:24,965
um

729
01:00:25,311 --> 01:00:27,169
Are you into the Mprag thing?

730
01:00:27,169 --> 01:00:27,509
you?

731
01:00:27,509 --> 01:00:28,832
Are you into that?

732
01:00:29,344 --> 01:00:31,251
So I don't mind M.

733
01:00:31,251 --> 01:00:31,794
Pregg.

734
01:00:31,794 --> 01:00:33,599
Actually, Grace McGinty.

735
01:00:33,599 --> 01:00:35,634
because her face is like, what is that?

736
01:00:35,634 --> 01:00:36,906
like, what is that?

737
01:00:37,632 --> 01:00:47,870
Craig is where the mask presenting human male genitalia gets pregnant instead of the
feminine.

738
01:00:48,127 --> 01:00:48,830
Interesting.

739
01:00:48,830 --> 01:00:50,592
Okay, I didn't even know that was a thing.

740
01:00:50,592 --> 01:00:51,012
about.

741
01:00:51,012 --> 01:00:54,157
See you horse me baby, cause I don't want to carry no more.

742
01:00:54,157 --> 01:00:58,037
But my thing is where do they have C-sections?

743
01:00:59,017 --> 01:01:00,437
I've never read one.

744
01:01:00,437 --> 01:01:01,877
That's why I'm asking.

745
01:01:02,537 --> 01:01:05,195
How the baby is delivered.

746
01:01:05,195 --> 01:01:07,146
It really depends on the world.

747
01:01:07,146 --> 01:01:11,418
Some worlds are C-section, they come out via C-section.

748
01:01:11,418 --> 01:01:19,340
So um Grace McGinty Manix is a Omegaverse where there is M-Preg.

749
01:01:19,381 --> 01:01:26,003
And to get the male Omega pregnant, there has to be a female one.

750
01:01:27,364 --> 01:01:30,785
And so I recommend that for anybody.

751
01:01:30,785 --> 01:01:31,547
um

752
01:01:31,547 --> 01:01:38,642
The FMC is a go-go dancer that gets found and taken and it's it is fuck the patriarchy if
I have a red one.

753
01:01:38,642 --> 01:01:43,765
um And but it depends on the world how the baby comes out.

754
01:01:43,765 --> 01:01:49,669
em But the baby gets in by doing the deed with doing the deed.

755
01:01:49,669 --> 01:01:51,771
Some some empregs or M.M.

756
01:01:51,771 --> 01:01:52,791
romances.

757
01:01:52,791 --> 01:01:54,533
Some have the F in them.

758
01:01:54,533 --> 01:01:58,835
just every world you think of Megaviruses one of those that.

759
01:01:59,556 --> 01:02:01,167
It all boils down to

760
01:02:01,167 --> 01:02:05,215
a few simple rules, but outside of those rules it can all be done differently.

761
01:02:05,215 --> 01:02:07,048
Every world's different.

762
01:02:07,349 --> 01:02:10,837
But M.Prague, I don't hate it.

763
01:02:10,837 --> 01:02:13,324
I don't need it, right?

764
01:02:13,324 --> 01:02:13,921
Yeah.

765
01:02:13,921 --> 01:02:16,704
So a Megalverse, have to do the nesting thing, right?

766
01:02:16,704 --> 01:02:17,797
That's a must.

767
01:02:18,343 --> 01:02:23,787
So Omegaverse, the simple rules of Omegaverse, there must be an alpha, a beta, and omega
within the world.

768
01:02:23,787 --> 01:02:28,530
It doesn't mean that they have to be within the relationship, but the world must have
those three designations.

769
01:02:28,530 --> 01:02:32,122
They are alternative sex characteristics.

770
01:02:32,122 --> 01:02:41,269
So if you are a mask presenting with an ed-outie, if you have a penis, at the bottom of
the penis is a donut-like inflatable.

771
01:02:41,269 --> 01:02:48,113
It locks into whoever the partner is to keep it together.

772
01:02:48,558 --> 01:03:00,567
And if you are a uh vaginal having oh alpha, you have a lock that locks your partner in at
the end of your happy time.

773
01:03:00,588 --> 01:03:09,314
Now those create more sensitive enjoyment, makes the orgasm longer, stronger, harder,
faster, whatever you need.

774
01:03:09,314 --> 01:03:13,227
oh And then omegas are most prized possession.

775
01:03:13,227 --> 01:03:17,644
They're extra lubricated, if you will.

776
01:03:17,644 --> 01:03:19,188
Mm-hmm.

777
01:03:19,286 --> 01:03:28,432
they have what's called a heat this is a period where they are most the most fertile and
all they think about is sex and Then being in heat drives everybody around them crazy and

778
01:03:28,432 --> 01:03:31,113
does nothing but want to pleasure that their Omega

779
01:03:32,577 --> 01:03:33,169
love that.

780
01:03:33,169 --> 01:03:39,676
That's like, I've read different versions of that, mostly in like, wolf shifter things.

781
01:03:39,676 --> 01:03:41,336
m

782
01:03:41,336 --> 01:03:42,647
from there.

783
01:03:42,647 --> 01:03:49,621
There is a similarity between Wolfshifter because they have the designations of Alpha Beta
Omega, but they're rather different in the Wolf world.

784
01:03:49,621 --> 01:03:53,538
But you'll find like, I think I so Ellen does some.

785
01:03:53,538 --> 01:03:58,436
omegas that you read about in a make, do they do the nodding because the.

786
01:03:58,436 --> 01:04:03,775
that's the inflation at the base of the penis or the inflation to loss.

787
01:04:03,775 --> 01:04:05,960
expression is so...

788
01:04:06,344 --> 01:04:08,286
I need to take a picture your...

789
01:04:08,286 --> 01:04:12,086
Taylor book somebody had the nodding thing that happened.

790
01:04:12,086 --> 01:04:13,857
Yeah, I love nodding.

791
01:04:13,857 --> 01:04:24,085
It's just, think Omega Versus, the draw for Omega Versus is really that once there is a
bond, right, that person is the most important person to you.

792
01:04:24,085 --> 01:04:31,121
You could be in the center of the mall and you can smell them from a mile away.

793
01:04:31,121 --> 01:04:33,032
You can feel their feelings.

794
01:04:33,032 --> 01:04:40,538
And it allows for that connection of everything I do and everything I live for is this
person.

795
01:04:40,538 --> 01:04:41,949
And I think that

796
01:04:42,231 --> 01:04:53,340
Like I posted the other day that my therapist probably would say that my obsession with
Omegaverse comes from my desire to be the most important thing in somebody's life.

797
01:04:53,340 --> 01:04:56,202
eh And we're not talking to my therapist right now.

798
01:04:56,202 --> 01:04:59,184
She needs to mind her business.

799
01:04:59,765 --> 01:05:04,339
But I think that Omegaverse has this comfy cozy and like all romances, right?

800
01:05:04,339 --> 01:05:12,085
They always, they should, unless the author is like lost off their sauce, haven't happily
ever after, but there's an extra layer.

801
01:05:12,085 --> 01:05:18,228
in Omega verses because that like vampires, my existence relies on your existence.

802
01:05:18,228 --> 01:05:23,340
That is if an Omega dies, usually an alpha goes feral.

803
01:05:23,340 --> 01:05:30,453
That is how intertwined the Omega verse relationship is.

804
01:05:30,453 --> 01:05:39,026
Like you very rarely have cheating just because you couldn't, they almost can't get it up
for anybody but their partner.

805
01:05:40,127 --> 01:05:40,975
Yes.

806
01:05:40,975 --> 01:05:41,766
are...

807
01:05:41,889 --> 01:05:45,331
Scented, they smell and taste delicious.

808
01:05:45,404 --> 01:05:46,252
Hahaha

809
01:05:46,252 --> 01:05:48,352
really love it.

810
01:05:48,773 --> 01:05:54,235
You need to read, I think you'll like Wolf and Prejudice by Theodore Teller.

811
01:05:54,235 --> 01:05:56,916
It's Wolfshifters.

812
01:05:56,916 --> 01:06:00,698
they, think, cause she's the one got me into that.

813
01:06:01,418 --> 01:06:06,640
She, she, that's the first, that's the first book in her like Wolfshifters series or
whatever.

814
01:06:06,640 --> 01:06:12,322
And then she flips the script and goes into dragons where they have two tallywhackers.

815
01:06:12,783 --> 01:06:13,623
And,

816
01:06:14,158 --> 01:06:16,171
You said two, I'm in.

817
01:06:16,171 --> 01:06:20,095
can tell you something, I could go into heaven detail about how much I love that lady.

818
01:06:20,095 --> 01:06:33,258
She might need to get a restraining order against me because I, that's what's wonderful
about, tell us about this because you are a big reader.

819
01:06:33,339 --> 01:06:34,920
What has it been like?

820
01:06:34,920 --> 01:06:38,884
Cause I know now that you have been able to,

821
01:06:39,274 --> 01:06:44,231
be in community with your favorite authors, what's that's been like?

822
01:06:44,231 --> 01:06:47,797
And we'll let that be the last question, because we over and she got to go to sleep.

823
01:06:47,797 --> 01:06:52,864
But what's that's been like to be with them?

824
01:06:53,791 --> 01:06:58,605
So I have not met in person, but I have talked to extensively Kennedy Ryan.

825
01:06:58,605 --> 01:07:09,475
um One of my favorite authors, uh the Long Shot, uh I actually interviewed her because of
my review of the Long Shot, Boohoo Cried.

826
01:07:10,116 --> 01:07:14,880
That book told a lot of what I went through with my son's father.

827
01:07:14,900 --> 01:07:18,583
He was not a good person, still is not.

828
01:07:18,744 --> 01:07:19,084
And...

829
01:07:19,084 --> 01:07:20,525
m

830
01:07:20,806 --> 01:07:25,529
I think that that was my holy shit, did I make it moment?

831
01:07:26,630 --> 01:07:29,612
I think like before that, right?

832
01:07:29,612 --> 01:07:30,993
I have friends that are authors.

833
01:07:30,993 --> 01:07:39,698
have my best friend, two of my best friends are really, popular authors and I was friends
with them, right?

834
01:07:39,698 --> 01:07:50,565
Like we, I didn't click that, this is a USA bestselling author because they're just
humans, right?

835
01:07:50,767 --> 01:07:54,388
Like, and I was so talking to Kennedy was amazing.

836
01:07:54,388 --> 01:08:06,063
I got to hang out on live with her, discuss some of our favorite topics, really hear how
Kennedy went through the process of writing a book with a not only DV survivor, but

837
01:08:06,063 --> 01:08:11,946
through her relationship, you see Iris go through the relationship and experience the DV.

838
01:08:11,946 --> 01:08:14,757
It's heavily on page and all the work she did.

839
01:08:14,757 --> 01:08:20,259
And I think that that was one of my moments where I was like,

840
01:08:20,593 --> 01:08:23,233
Hey, look, ma, I made it.

841
01:08:24,357 --> 01:08:32,164
It was amazing to do all of this work and see, like, people see what I'm doing and they
respect it.

842
01:08:32,164 --> 01:08:35,457
And it was almost like, wait, these aren't just like big hairs of mine.

843
01:08:35,457 --> 01:08:42,613
These are, I had an author call me a colleague and that sat with me like, damn.

844
01:08:43,052 --> 01:08:44,112
Mm-hmm.

845
01:08:44,561 --> 01:08:58,341
And so I think that it has been an amazing process to go from little of me who wrote who
all I did was like, say, hey, this is a problem to now getting to work with authors who

846
01:08:58,341 --> 01:09:13,801
are USA bestsellers who are traveling the world to be met by their authors, I am by other
readers, I was at a book harvest with Santana Knox, and just sitting back and watching her

847
01:09:13,801 --> 01:09:16,512
them interact with the readers.

848
01:09:16,512 --> 01:09:18,383
And I'm like, that's my friend.

849
01:09:18,383 --> 01:09:21,674
Yeah, that's it.

850
01:09:21,674 --> 01:09:22,785
It's so much fun.

851
01:09:22,785 --> 01:09:36,541
And it really makes me appreciate, like, not only like the work I've done, but the people
who have paved the way because there are some large black content creators who have got it

852
01:09:36,541 --> 01:09:42,639
out the mud who have dogged their way to the top that have made it a little bit easier.

853
01:09:42,639 --> 01:09:48,339
for content creators like me to come back behind them and be like, okay, I'm gonna pick up
the pieces behind you.

854
01:09:48,339 --> 01:09:54,859
Like you keep going, I'm following you that have created a space for other content
creators.

855
01:09:54,859 --> 01:10:00,439
And I had somebody send to me a message the other day and was like, because of your
videos, I now make content.

856
01:10:00,439 --> 01:10:01,495
And I'm like, oh wait.

857
01:10:01,495 --> 01:10:02,446
that.

858
01:10:02,446 --> 01:10:04,166
You're, cause you're inspiring people.

859
01:10:04,166 --> 01:10:12,110
it's like you said, think this is where we, you know, it's, is a great example of
reminding people, this is why representation matters.

860
01:10:12,110 --> 01:10:18,532
When you see somebody who looks like you doing these things, then you believe that you can
walk that same path.

861
01:10:18,532 --> 01:10:20,453
And that's why that is so important.

862
01:10:21,199 --> 01:10:26,119
And I think that there are so many different paths in this bookish space.

863
01:10:26,119 --> 01:10:36,559
Like just because mine came with, I don't know, being controversial, if you will, the
person that messaged me, they're not addressing controversy.

864
01:10:36,559 --> 01:10:38,299
They're just making bookish videos.

865
01:10:38,299 --> 01:10:46,439
But they felt that because I made my videos and I felt because other people made their
videos, like we're changing the bookish space.

866
01:10:46,699 --> 01:10:49,459
And I can't wait to see where it is in 10 years.

867
01:10:49,459 --> 01:10:50,865
I can't wait to see where it

868
01:10:50,865 --> 01:10:54,446
is in 15 years because I'm still gonna be here my little Kindle.

869
01:10:55,145 --> 01:11:05,189
I may not be making content because it's tiring but I'm excited to see where it is and I'm
excited to see when my daughter starts reading.

870
01:11:05,189 --> 01:11:08,289
If she ever reads romance, cool I got recommendations baby.

871
01:11:08,289 --> 01:11:17,112
um But she loves to read and I'm excited to see what the world looks like when she's my
age and still reading because she will still be reading.

872
01:11:17,267 --> 01:11:18,102
Yes.

873
01:11:18,764 --> 01:11:19,864
And I hope it's different.

874
01:11:19,864 --> 01:11:25,924
I hope that we're not saying that, oh, black authors are only 10 % of the publishing
world.

875
01:11:25,924 --> 01:11:32,264
I hope we're saying that they're 25, they're 30, they're 40, that we can't measure it
anymore.

876
01:11:32,384 --> 01:11:37,904
I hope that Latinx authors are getting the deals.

877
01:11:37,904 --> 01:11:42,004
I hope indigenous authors are finding their niche, their space.

878
01:11:42,444 --> 01:11:44,904
I just don't want it to be so white.

879
01:11:46,824 --> 01:11:48,540
White is meant to reflect.

880
01:11:48,540 --> 01:11:51,002
it's not meant to steal all the spots.

881
01:11:51,837 --> 01:11:52,896
Absolutely.

882
01:11:52,896 --> 01:11:54,279
I love that.

883
01:11:54,507 --> 01:11:58,124
We'll tell our listeners where they can find you online and follow you.

884
01:11:58,160 --> 01:12:12,362
So until march because tick tock is making an american only app i am well red nurse on
instagram i am the well red nurse and i'm also on instagram books and boudoir.

885
01:12:13,741 --> 01:12:24,059
Hello, it has been amazing having you on here and I'm sure that we can continue to talk
forever because this conversation has been so amazing and I know sometimes we have to like

886
01:12:24,059 --> 01:12:26,690
stop ourselves like, oh, we're going over time.

887
01:12:26,851 --> 01:12:30,853
But thank you again so, so much for being here and taking time out to talk.

888
01:12:31,446 --> 01:12:32,699
No, thank you for the invite.

889
01:12:32,699 --> 01:12:35,646
When I got the email, I was like, yes, please.

890
01:12:35,646 --> 01:12:40,055
But then I'm like, I need to make time.

891
01:12:40,874 --> 01:12:42,460
We're so grateful.

892
01:12:42,460 --> 01:12:43,131
it.

893
01:12:43,509 --> 01:12:45,220
would love to come back anytime.

894
01:12:45,220 --> 01:12:47,458
This has been an amazing conversation.

895
01:12:47,458 --> 01:12:58,282
And I think that I really had it was probably been one of the better podcasts that I've
been a part of and the conversations have been really thought provoking.

896
01:12:58,282 --> 01:13:07,770
And I hope people sit back and they're like, you know what, I might not be a sensitivity
reader, but I definitely would love to talk to authors about things I find harmful because

897
01:13:07,770 --> 01:13:09,401
you absolutely can.

898
01:13:09,441 --> 01:13:10,652
You see a thing.

899
01:13:10,652 --> 01:13:13,115
reach out to an author, send them an email.

900
01:13:13,115 --> 01:13:14,786
Hey, this is problematic.

901
01:13:14,786 --> 01:13:15,647
This is why.

902
01:13:15,647 --> 01:13:17,980
uh Don't necessarily create a video.

903
01:13:17,980 --> 01:13:21,033
You don't have to because not everybody's in that space.

904
01:13:21,033 --> 01:13:29,963
But I think that the more we make common talking about what's problematic, the better the
space becomes, the better we become as people.

905
01:13:29,963 --> 01:13:35,891
Yes, it's always about creating a conversation and being open to learning and educating
yourself.

906
01:13:35,891 --> 01:13:36,833
So definitely.

907
01:13:36,833 --> 01:13:38,437
oh