00:00:17
Speaker 1: Yes, and welcome back to the Ash Williams Show. My name is Ash Williams. I'm fired up, baby, fuck yeah, fuck yeah. I've had about five coffees. It's five pm on a Sunday, coming to After Hours. Yep, we are over budget and underproduced, but it's with you nonetheless. I want to tell you what I got up to during the week. I played a pickleball tournament last Sunday. I was so hung over because it was post grand final and I had a much saucier Grand final than I planned. I budgeted for like three or four pints. It never works out that way because I got into shouts with this guy who's a fucking animal. I'm never doing shouts with that guy ever. Again. It's just like, and it was one on one shouts. You can't hide when it's one on one shouts. You can hide when there's three, three or more. Fuck mate, you can blend into like never paying for a fucking shout at all, but one on one you are accountable. And this guy was riding me all fucking day, all day, like to the to the point where I was triple parked with pints, and I said, no, you go, you just get yourself a pint. He said, nah, nah, I'll get I'll get you your pint. I chased him down though I caught him. I hit the lead and I was frothed out of my head. But then I had a pickaball tournament the next day. I won that. It was a two ladies, two gentlemen team affair, which is how I like it. And I wanted to tell you about this cafeteria that they had at this basketball complex in Thornbury, and they only sold muffins and toasties. And I was seriously about to die. I needed something hot, and so I said to the kid, I said, mate, what are those toasties? He goes, oh, that's all we have a right. And that wasn't the answer to my question. To be fair, my question was pretty ambiguous. But I was hung as fuck, and I said, man, are the toasties any good? He says, without batting an eyelid, he goes, uh no. I go, what do you mean? No? He goes, they're not good. I said, and get me one, and he looked at me like I was nuts. He said, you want one? He said, yeah. Man. It reminded me of the Seinfeld scene when Who's that fucking dude who has the hot dog at the cinema. Lloyd Braun orders the hot dog at the cinema, and then the guy who works at the cinema, the service attendant, said, what are you crazy? Are you crazy? That hot dog's been there since nineteen seventy. It was a similar look that I got from the young punk at pickleball. He was about yeah, fifteen sixteen, and he said, okay, one toasty coming up, and he gave it to me and he goes again, sorry, that's all we had before, before I'd even had to buy it. He was apologizing, and I got the toasty back, and I got to tell you it was good time. It was good times. Maybe I was hung, but fucking hell. Toasties. God, they're underrated, you know, stick your Pannini's up your ass. A toasty beats a Pernini every day of the week. Who's with me? I don't know. I feel like we just tried to reinvent the wheel with Pannini's toasties. You can't fucking beat them now. Speaking of toasties, I went to Gludston Park yesterday last night for a stand up gig and I got Gludston Park mixed up with Brandon Park, so if you're from Victoria, you'll know these two suburbs maybe better than me. But Brandon Park is in Mulgrave, right, and I used to drive past it when I was younger, and I always thought it was pretty cool because back then nine oh two one zero was the Zeitgeist TV show and I remember thinking, oh, it's fucking Brandon from nine o two and oh that's where he shops, right. So that's stuck with me, stuck with me for I don't know, it's thirty years. And so I get a call from a couple of comedy mates of mine. They're like, we're doing this, Gieg, do you want to do this? I'm like sure. They said it's a Gladstone Park. I fucking love that joint, Are you kidding? No? No, two and O. So I'm obviously thinking that it's at Brandon Park, but it's not. It's at Gladston Park. So I get to Brandon Park in Mulgrave and then I can't find it, and then I realize, oh fuck, I'm about an hour and twenty minutes away from Gladston Park. Luckily i'd left with enough time, but I only just made it to Gladston Park Shopping Center, which if you don't know where that is, it's near the airport. And we were doing it on the rooftop of Gladston Park Shopping Center at a place called Dart Cave. What a great joint. It is literally a dart cave. It's a place where, you know, a gentlemen get fucking tanked and throw darts in a cave and there are about six dart boards and there's a dart league there right. But they thought they put on some stand up there last night. It was myself, Evan Hocking and the Nelson Twins. I haven't done a gig with the Nelson Twins for fucking years. I did a gig with them I think when I first started stand up, which would have been like twenty and eleven. I think we did something in the Comics Lounge in North Melbourne. But we had a great time there last night at the Dart Cave. And afterwards, this bloke came up to me and he goes, mate, you're not fucking us hammered Absolutely everyone there was hammered. Hammered, mate, you're not fucking ash from Nova are Yeah? And I go, yeah, I am guys, get fucked No, I am guess mate, Well, like you know with Hughson and Kate, I go, yeah, that's me, mate, that's one of the same. He goes, oh, mate, good times, good times, good days, and I go, they were good days. They were very very good days. And I said, mate, that were such great days. That one of our radio segments that we used to do on Nova was we did it for a week. Actually I think we did it for two weeks. That went so well. We got ladies off the street and the segment was real or fake, and then they would come into the studio and everyone in the studio had to guess whether they had real boobs or fake boobs. And it was sponsored by like I think it might have been health insurance or something, but like the brand was loving it, like they're like, let us sponsor this segment. We want to be involved with this kind of you know, high caliber radio. This is in two thousand and ten, I reckon, And so that's that's kind of where my mind went when I was like, jeez, that was good times. Can you imagine doing that now? Reel or fake? Get the fuck out? No way? And everyone loved it. Everyone loved it. God, I remember the girls who used to come in. They were loving it. They were loving it. And whether the girl had fake boobs or real boobs, she was pumped. She was because like no one knew. I didn't know as much as I do now about fake boobs. Back then, I had no idea. Hughesy still has no idea. And another segment that we did once on radio. I actually sent it to Ed Cavalier, who I did radio with on Nova, just as an example of what we did. This was I think this was in April two thousand and eleven, I think, and it was the wheel of misery, right, So the wheel of misery. You spun the wheel and if your name came up on the wheel. So it was everyone who was involved in the breakfast show, Hugh'sy, kate E Cavelliet, myself, Lauren Brain was doing news. We had producers Sasha French and Sarah Fayel. So Sarah Fayel is now doing the front bar and everyone else is doing really well. Anyway, the wheel of misery came out, they spun it and it landed on the newsreader and the challenge this day, it changed every day and I've got a screenshot here of it, so I'll put it on the Patreon and you can see it. And it just says was sabi oral or anal. So you have the choice. You can either take wasabi orally or anally. This is a radio segment. This is going on at eight twelve am on the radio, and Lauren, the newsreader, decided to take the wasabi anally. So she went to the bathroom and I think they might have had a microphone in there or something, or she was on the phone and she stuck with sabi up her ass. And that's what I'm talking about when I said to this dude last night, good times right, unbelievable unbelievable times? Are you kidding? Man? I don't know. I reckon. That's fantastic. Also a thought that dawned on me last night. By the way, if you're listening to this and you you want to hear the longer version, go to patreon dot com forward slash ash Williams show the next Patreon that joins up, I will I'll send you a mug. Well, I probably won't fuck it, don't sign up. So I also another girl came up at the dark cave and she, I haven't done this for a long time. I may I think I've only done it once. She she she came up to me. She had some merchandise from the twins. The Nelson Twins sell these stubby holders, so she bought a stubby holder. And she comes up to me and says, I've been dared to come over here. I said, yeah, yep, yeap. Is that it? What's the Dare? She goes, can you sign my stubby holder? Said? Fuck Earth, I can absolutely, And I said, is that the dre? She is n No, the Dare's coming. Ship. Hold on to your hats. The Dare is coming. You know, somebody get James Sherry on the phone. Well hopefully when a game boy and tough reference. And so then I signed the stubby holder and then she goes, you're ready for the Dare. I'm like, fucking Earth, what's this. I'm thinking, fucking now, something's gonna happen here. And she says, now you've gotta sign my tit. Said come again, she has you gotta sign my tit. She got a tit out not not like nipple and everything, just cleavage, but quite a lot of cleavage. I must say, and she has just put an a, just put an a and I was like, all right, so I got the texture and put an A on her boob and she has there completed. I've been following you on Instagram for ages. I've been on you for ages, and I'm like, fucking great to meet you. I gotta tell you, you know, it's an honor. And she walked off, and she fucking walked off. But signing tits is good fun, let me tell you. It just wouldn't quite work the other way around though, for guys. Would it the girls sign guys' body parts. Let's get a few questions here on Patreon. This is from sat Mill. Are you going to go back to Los Angeles soon or any traveling blogs? It's a good question, sat Mill. I will. I absolutely will. I'm just getting my ducks in a row here in Melbourne. I actually got asked. I'll put this on Patreon. I got asked to go on a reality TV show in America, right, and yeah, if you want to book me for a stand up gig anywhere around Australia within reason, Ash with Him's comedy at gmail dot com. And that's all I have for you. Patreon dot Com forward slash Ash with him show for the longer version. Have a wonderful Friday. I'm actually going to watch the NRL Grand Final. One thing they do very very well at the NRL is the Grand Final, so I'll be watching that, hopefully some big hits and who knows, I'm going to watch it with mum. I'm not sure if I'll be signing any boobs or i will see the night is young. All right, that's it. Have a great weekend. I'll talk to you next week. Take care, buddy,
Speaker 1: Yes, and welcome back to the Ash Williams Show. My name is Ash Williams. I'm fired up, baby, fuck yeah, fuck yeah. I've had about five coffees. It's five pm on a Sunday, coming to After Hours. Yep, we are over budget and underproduced, but it's with you nonetheless. I want to tell you what I got up to during the week. I played a pickleball tournament last Sunday. I was so hung over because it was post grand final and I had a much saucier Grand final than I planned. I budgeted for like three or four pints. It never works out that way because I got into shouts with this guy who's a fucking animal. I'm never doing shouts with that guy ever. Again. It's just like, and it was one on one shouts. You can't hide when it's one on one shouts. You can hide when there's three, three or more. Fuck mate, you can blend into like never paying for a fucking shout at all, but one on one you are accountable. And this guy was riding me all fucking day, all day, like to the to the point where I was triple parked with pints, and I said, no, you go, you just get yourself a pint. He said, nah, nah, I'll get I'll get you your pint. I chased him down though I caught him. I hit the lead and I was frothed out of my head. But then I had a pickaball tournament the next day. I won that. It was a two ladies, two gentlemen team affair, which is how I like it. And I wanted to tell you about this cafeteria that they had at this basketball complex in Thornbury, and they only sold muffins and toasties. And I was seriously about to die. I needed something hot, and so I said to the kid, I said, mate, what are those toasties? He goes, oh, that's all we have a right. And that wasn't the answer to my question. To be fair, my question was pretty ambiguous. But I was hung as fuck, and I said, man, are the toasties any good? He says, without batting an eyelid, he goes, uh no. I go, what do you mean? No? He goes, they're not good. I said, and get me one, and he looked at me like I was nuts. He said, you want one? He said, yeah. Man. It reminded me of the Seinfeld scene when Who's that fucking dude who has the hot dog at the cinema. Lloyd Braun orders the hot dog at the cinema, and then the guy who works at the cinema, the service attendant, said, what are you crazy? Are you crazy? That hot dog's been there since nineteen seventy. It was a similar look that I got from the young punk at pickleball. He was about yeah, fifteen sixteen, and he said, okay, one toasty coming up, and he gave it to me and he goes again, sorry, that's all we had before, before I'd even had to buy it. He was apologizing, and I got the toasty back, and I got to tell you it was good time. It was good times. Maybe I was hung, but fucking hell. Toasties. God, they're underrated, you know, stick your Pannini's up your ass. A toasty beats a Pernini every day of the week. Who's with me? I don't know. I feel like we just tried to reinvent the wheel with Pannini's toasties. You can't fucking beat them now. Speaking of toasties, I went to Gludston Park yesterday last night for a stand up gig and I got Gludston Park mixed up with Brandon Park, so if you're from Victoria, you'll know these two suburbs maybe better than me. But Brandon Park is in Mulgrave, right, and I used to drive past it when I was younger, and I always thought it was pretty cool because back then nine oh two one zero was the Zeitgeist TV show and I remember thinking, oh, it's fucking Brandon from nine o two and oh that's where he shops, right. So that's stuck with me, stuck with me for I don't know, it's thirty years. And so I get a call from a couple of comedy mates of mine. They're like, we're doing this, Gieg, do you want to do this? I'm like sure. They said it's a Gladstone Park. I fucking love that joint, Are you kidding? No? No, two and O. So I'm obviously thinking that it's at Brandon Park, but it's not. It's at Gladston Park. So I get to Brandon Park in Mulgrave and then I can't find it, and then I realize, oh fuck, I'm about an hour and twenty minutes away from Gladston Park. Luckily i'd left with enough time, but I only just made it to Gladston Park Shopping Center, which if you don't know where that is, it's near the airport. And we were doing it on the rooftop of Gladston Park Shopping Center at a place called Dart Cave. What a great joint. It is literally a dart cave. It's a place where, you know, a gentlemen get fucking tanked and throw darts in a cave and there are about six dart boards and there's a dart league there right. But they thought they put on some stand up there last night. It was myself, Evan Hocking and the Nelson Twins. I haven't done a gig with the Nelson Twins for fucking years. I did a gig with them I think when I first started stand up, which would have been like twenty and eleven. I think we did something in the Comics Lounge in North Melbourne. But we had a great time there last night at the Dart Cave. And afterwards, this bloke came up to me and he goes, mate, you're not fucking us hammered Absolutely everyone there was hammered. Hammered, mate, you're not fucking ash from Nova are Yeah? And I go, yeah, I am guys, get fucked No, I am guess mate, Well, like you know with Hughson and Kate, I go, yeah, that's me, mate, that's one of the same. He goes, oh, mate, good times, good times, good days, and I go, they were good days. They were very very good days. And I said, mate, that were such great days. That one of our radio segments that we used to do on Nova was we did it for a week. Actually I think we did it for two weeks. That went so well. We got ladies off the street and the segment was real or fake, and then they would come into the studio and everyone in the studio had to guess whether they had real boobs or fake boobs. And it was sponsored by like I think it might have been health insurance or something, but like the brand was loving it, like they're like, let us sponsor this segment. We want to be involved with this kind of you know, high caliber radio. This is in two thousand and ten, I reckon, And so that's that's kind of where my mind went when I was like, jeez, that was good times. Can you imagine doing that now? Reel or fake? Get the fuck out? No way? And everyone loved it. Everyone loved it. God, I remember the girls who used to come in. They were loving it. They were loving it. And whether the girl had fake boobs or real boobs, she was pumped. She was because like no one knew. I didn't know as much as I do now about fake boobs. Back then, I had no idea. Hughesy still has no idea. And another segment that we did once on radio. I actually sent it to Ed Cavalier, who I did radio with on Nova, just as an example of what we did. This was I think this was in April two thousand and eleven, I think, and it was the wheel of misery, right, So the wheel of misery. You spun the wheel and if your name came up on the wheel. So it was everyone who was involved in the breakfast show, Hugh'sy, kate E Cavelliet, myself, Lauren Brain was doing news. We had producers Sasha French and Sarah Fayel. So Sarah Fayel is now doing the front bar and everyone else is doing really well. Anyway, the wheel of misery came out, they spun it and it landed on the newsreader and the challenge this day, it changed every day and I've got a screenshot here of it, so I'll put it on the Patreon and you can see it. And it just says was sabi oral or anal. So you have the choice. You can either take wasabi orally or anally. This is a radio segment. This is going on at eight twelve am on the radio, and Lauren, the newsreader, decided to take the wasabi anally. So she went to the bathroom and I think they might have had a microphone in there or something, or she was on the phone and she stuck with sabi up her ass. And that's what I'm talking about when I said to this dude last night, good times right, unbelievable unbelievable times? Are you kidding? Man? I don't know. I reckon. That's fantastic. Also a thought that dawned on me last night. By the way, if you're listening to this and you you want to hear the longer version, go to patreon dot com forward slash ash Williams show the next Patreon that joins up, I will I'll send you a mug. Well, I probably won't fuck it, don't sign up. So I also another girl came up at the dark cave and she, I haven't done this for a long time. I may I think I've only done it once. She she she came up to me. She had some merchandise from the twins. The Nelson Twins sell these stubby holders, so she bought a stubby holder. And she comes up to me and says, I've been dared to come over here. I said, yeah, yep, yeap. Is that it? What's the Dare? She goes, can you sign my stubby holder? Said? Fuck Earth, I can absolutely, And I said, is that the dre? She is n No, the Dare's coming. Ship. Hold on to your hats. The Dare is coming. You know, somebody get James Sherry on the phone. Well hopefully when a game boy and tough reference. And so then I signed the stubby holder and then she goes, you're ready for the Dare. I'm like, fucking Earth, what's this. I'm thinking, fucking now, something's gonna happen here. And she says, now you've gotta sign my tit. Said come again, she has you gotta sign my tit. She got a tit out not not like nipple and everything, just cleavage, but quite a lot of cleavage. I must say, and she has just put an a, just put an a and I was like, all right, so I got the texture and put an A on her boob and she has there completed. I've been following you on Instagram for ages. I've been on you for ages, and I'm like, fucking great to meet you. I gotta tell you, you know, it's an honor. And she walked off, and she fucking walked off. But signing tits is good fun, let me tell you. It just wouldn't quite work the other way around though, for guys. Would it the girls sign guys' body parts. Let's get a few questions here on Patreon. This is from sat Mill. Are you going to go back to Los Angeles soon or any traveling blogs? It's a good question, sat Mill. I will. I absolutely will. I'm just getting my ducks in a row here in Melbourne. I actually got asked. I'll put this on Patreon. I got asked to go on a reality TV show in America, right, and yeah, if you want to book me for a stand up gig anywhere around Australia within reason, Ash with Him's comedy at gmail dot com. And that's all I have for you. Patreon dot Com forward slash Ash with him show for the longer version. Have a wonderful Friday. I'm actually going to watch the NRL Grand Final. One thing they do very very well at the NRL is the Grand Final, so I'll be watching that, hopefully some big hits and who knows, I'm going to watch it with mum. I'm not sure if I'll be signing any boobs or i will see the night is young. All right, that's it. Have a great weekend. I'll talk to you next week. Take care, buddy,
