00:00:17
Speaker 1: Yes, and welcome back to the Ash william Show. My name is Ash Williams and I'm toasty. Yes, i am toasty. The weather is certainly warm. Me up in Melbourne and I'm in a T shirt and I'm about to take it off, which is something I say often. Look, if you're not topless, you're not doing it right.
00:00:46
Speaker 2: Who's with me?
00:00:48
Speaker 1: I'm talking to the ladies. Of course, I'm gonna say. I do enjoy a dude who looks good topless. I was driving down Swan Street yesterday and you know when you do something and you kind of catch yourself doing it and you're like, fuck, what am I doing? I saw this dude running in a pair of three inch shorts and he was running at a you know, a decent trot, and he was topless and he was tanned, and I rub a nectar. I rub and necked it in my car. If you don't know what a rubber neck is, it's when you're crying your neck or you look quickly at usually a girl if you're a straight guy. But on this occasion, I rub a nectar at a dude and I actually said WHOA.
00:01:42
Speaker 2: I was like, what the fuck? And I was like like, I.
00:01:48
Speaker 1: Agreed with my reaction because it was a bit of a hoof dinners on kind of thing.
00:01:54
Speaker 2: I was like, whuf Jesus cross.
00:01:58
Speaker 1: He was seriously in shape, and the way his muscle tone.
00:02:05
Speaker 2: Looked really suited his body.
00:02:08
Speaker 1: Like if I was you know how you have like interior designers for houses and stuff, if I was a physique designer and I'm looking at what I've got to work with his height, his complexion, they nailed this. Whoever's doing their work on this guy, or whoever's working on this guy, hm, hm, you're good, really fine work. And whoever that gentleman was, keep running down Swan Street with your top off because you are causing accidents. I almost went into the back of a truck. But I like to drive slow so that I can rub a necket. You know, you know those drivers who are always one inch away from a fucking accident because they're what they tell gating or whatever, and that they've got to break They've got to be on it the whole time.
00:03:05
Speaker 2: I don't like to drive like that. I like to drive slow.
00:03:07
Speaker 1: And give myself enough time to rub a neck it and then realize if I'm going to crash, hit the brakes.
00:03:14
Speaker 2: There's no need to Is it tailgating.
00:03:18
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure it's tailgating, But there's no need to be up someone's ass unless it's a Saturday night and you're on the pingers and she says that's what she likes or he says that's what he likes. I mean, there's not many options if.
00:03:40
Speaker 2: You're a dude. But you know, I don't know, I don't know.
00:03:49
Speaker 1: It's a really big we're going We're really just transitioning from thought to thought here. This is just a stream of consciousness. But if you're a dude who's gay, it is a big decision whether you want to just, you know, pump ass or get your ass pumped. I can see the appeal both. I really can't you know, your meet guy or you're a dessert guy. I don't know which ones which, but I would say that dessert is actually they're both dessert. I think, all right, what else have I got for you? Look that the podcast is a little bit late. I usually do it on Saturday, sometimes Sunday, but yesterday I was playing in the Pro Pickaball League. The NPL, not to be confused with the NBL, and I won both my singles yesterday rather convincingly.
00:04:52
Speaker 2: I've got dms filling.
00:04:56
Speaker 1: Up with pickaball offers, so I can't wait to to show you and tell you what they're going to be. I actually played one of the judges on The Block. Channel nine's The Block. Marty Fox has been messaging me absolute smack for I reckon a month. I don't know the guy, I do not know him, and he just fills my box with I'm gonna smash you. I'll beat you eleven zero, you know, And I'm like, all right, well let's play. You know, put your money. We'll not even put your money where your mouth. You's to put your mouth where you where your mouth is. I come and meet me at a pickable court and we'll play. So he meets me, and on the first point, literally the first point, he did his hamstring tore it, third grade tear. I think, I don't even know if that's bad, but sounds bad, and yeah, I mean that's what happens sometimes. It was annoying for me. I wanted to fucking pump him eleven love, eleven love, but I'll take a hamstring off the bone, you know.
00:06:07
Speaker 2: But he's a nice guy, Marty.
00:06:08
Speaker 1: I look forward to the rematch that videos on my social media if you want to watch it. Hey, speaking of social media, guess who's back back again? It's Raygun. Yeah, Rachel Gunn as she calls herself or Rega. She's done an ad for Finder. It's on social media, and I think they're offering ten thousand dollars to anyone who thinks they can dance better than Raygun.
00:06:34
Speaker 2: It's not a bad premise. It's not a bad premise.
00:06:37
Speaker 1: But the problem again is that Raygun doesn't have the ability to laugh at herself. If you watch the ad, she takes herself so seriously and she still thinks she's awesome. She's like, watch these moves, and she's completely unaware that we're all laughing at her. She is completely unaware that this advertising campaign is a piss take.
00:07:00
Speaker 2: Everyone thinks they can laugh at her.
00:07:02
Speaker 1: Yeah, everyone thinks they can laugh at her, and everyone thinks that they can dance better than her. And I don't know if Finder dot com that I you are aware. So yeah, Reagan's back. He speaking of mouthfuls, I was getting a sandwich the other day and I got my sandwich and one of the baristers said, you have you met and new sandwich maker, and I go, no, I haven't. It's come over, And this guy was. He'd finished making sandwiches for the day. He's sitting at a table and one of the brist knows, I like.
00:07:44
Speaker 2: Ladies. Let's just say I like ladies. I do.
00:07:46
Speaker 1: Like I think whoever you're attracted to in this world makes the world go round.
00:07:51
Speaker 2: Well, I think it's a lot of the reason why.
00:07:54
Speaker 1: Obviously there's friends and family and career and stuff, but a lot of it is driven by sexual wants and desires at the end of the day. And so the brewster goes, oh, you should mate. I didn't get his name. It was like fucking Richard or something. He should meet Richard. Richard loves chicks. And I'm like, oh, hey Richard, no wait man, nice sandwiches by the way.
00:08:16
Speaker 2: He goes, oh, cool man. And then the.
00:08:21
Speaker 1: Brewister says, hey, Richard, tell ash how many wains you had yesterday?
00:08:25
Speaker 2: And I'm like, well, Jesus in.
00:08:27
Speaker 1: My hand, I'm thinking we've really just jumped in the deep end here myself and Richard. And Richard goes without without even really thinking, he just goes eight and I go what, thinking like, did I mis hear something?
00:08:44
Speaker 2: I go what?
00:08:46
Speaker 1: He goes eight, said Richard, come on mate, you did not. I don't think I've ever had eight waanks in it. Like that's an that's that's more than an eighteen year old would have, right, And he goes, no, no, no, I found a really good website. I've paid for the subscription. I want to get my money's worth that. So that's fair enough. You're economical, you know, money saving dude. And he's like, yeah, yeah, I really had a good day. And I said, were you working? He goes, no, I had yesterday off. I said, that's good to know. It's good to know because I was working from home WFH otherwise known as wanking from home for Richard. And by the way, I've come up with a perfect fake name for Richard.
00:09:33
Speaker 2: They're big, big dick, big dick winking from home.
00:09:36
Speaker 1: And then the next day I was in there, right, I get like a fucking chicken snitzel panini, and who's making my.
00:09:49
Speaker 2: Sandwich with no gloves? It's Richard. It's Richard.
00:09:56
Speaker 1: And I could not stop thinking about him waking eight times in a day. Just two days earlier, two days earlier, he had eight wainks in a day, and now he's making me a panini with no gloves. It was not a nice panini. I did not enjoy it. I did not.
00:10:18
Speaker 2: I was not in the moment. I was.
00:10:22
Speaker 1: I just had this montage Richard and what Richie got up to.
00:10:27
Speaker 2: And he's not like.
00:10:30
Speaker 1: God, I was going to say he's not an attractive man, but he is in his own way. Let's just say he's a big boy. He'd be one hundred and twenty kilos, I reckon.
00:10:41
Speaker 2: So here's a.
00:10:41
Speaker 1: Whole lot of man. Yeah, and I don't know. It's yeah, I don't know. I actually appreciate how forthcoming he was part of the pump with his wanking. Like I don't know. The guy just tells me he winks eight times in a day. It's just it's too much Richard. Now look, speaking of winking, I have had an inquiry. By the way, if you want to hear the inquiry, you want to hear the longer version of this episode, please go to patreon dot com forward slash ash Williams Show and you can hear this inquiry. This email that I got, which is rather salacious and I'm gonna, you know me, I'm gonna fucking take it all the way to the bank. I'm gonna I'm gonna fucking drive to the to the board here, drive to the hoop. I don't have all the answers. And that's the podcast, my friends. For anything extra, it's Patreon dot com forward slash ash william show my email. That's why I'm giving out my email now because you never know who wants to do a deal. Ash Williams Comedy at gmail dot com.
00:11:51
Speaker 2: You know we're open for business. Hm hmmm, yes, ma'am.
00:11:58
Speaker 1: And I'll be getting back to that foot dude with a quote and I love quoting that. Yeah, if you want to quote, I'll send you through a quote. And that's the podcast. I hope you have a wonderful, wonderful Sunday. Thanks to everyone who is supporting the show on Patreon. And this time next week we'll know who the new President of the United States is. Holy shit, it's better to be a big week.
00:12:30
Speaker 2: I will talk to you next week.
00:12:31
Speaker 1: Take care, I love you, Bye Ba.
Speaker 1: Yes, and welcome back to the Ash william Show. My name is Ash Williams and I'm toasty. Yes, i am toasty. The weather is certainly warm. Me up in Melbourne and I'm in a T shirt and I'm about to take it off, which is something I say often. Look, if you're not topless, you're not doing it right.
00:00:46
Speaker 2: Who's with me?
00:00:48
Speaker 1: I'm talking to the ladies. Of course, I'm gonna say. I do enjoy a dude who looks good topless. I was driving down Swan Street yesterday and you know when you do something and you kind of catch yourself doing it and you're like, fuck, what am I doing? I saw this dude running in a pair of three inch shorts and he was running at a you know, a decent trot, and he was topless and he was tanned, and I rub a nectar. I rub and necked it in my car. If you don't know what a rubber neck is, it's when you're crying your neck or you look quickly at usually a girl if you're a straight guy. But on this occasion, I rub a nectar at a dude and I actually said WHOA.
00:01:42
Speaker 2: I was like, what the fuck? And I was like like, I.
00:01:48
Speaker 1: Agreed with my reaction because it was a bit of a hoof dinners on kind of thing.
00:01:54
Speaker 2: I was like, whuf Jesus cross.
00:01:58
Speaker 1: He was seriously in shape, and the way his muscle tone.
00:02:05
Speaker 2: Looked really suited his body.
00:02:08
Speaker 1: Like if I was you know how you have like interior designers for houses and stuff, if I was a physique designer and I'm looking at what I've got to work with his height, his complexion, they nailed this. Whoever's doing their work on this guy, or whoever's working on this guy, hm, hm, you're good, really fine work. And whoever that gentleman was, keep running down Swan Street with your top off because you are causing accidents. I almost went into the back of a truck. But I like to drive slow so that I can rub a necket. You know, you know those drivers who are always one inch away from a fucking accident because they're what they tell gating or whatever, and that they've got to break They've got to be on it the whole time.
00:03:05
Speaker 2: I don't like to drive like that. I like to drive slow.
00:03:07
Speaker 1: And give myself enough time to rub a neck it and then realize if I'm going to crash, hit the brakes.
00:03:14
Speaker 2: There's no need to Is it tailgating.
00:03:18
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure it's tailgating, But there's no need to be up someone's ass unless it's a Saturday night and you're on the pingers and she says that's what she likes or he says that's what he likes. I mean, there's not many options if.
00:03:40
Speaker 2: You're a dude. But you know, I don't know, I don't know.
00:03:49
Speaker 1: It's a really big we're going We're really just transitioning from thought to thought here. This is just a stream of consciousness. But if you're a dude who's gay, it is a big decision whether you want to just, you know, pump ass or get your ass pumped. I can see the appeal both. I really can't you know, your meet guy or you're a dessert guy. I don't know which ones which, but I would say that dessert is actually they're both dessert. I think, all right, what else have I got for you? Look that the podcast is a little bit late. I usually do it on Saturday, sometimes Sunday, but yesterday I was playing in the Pro Pickaball League. The NPL, not to be confused with the NBL, and I won both my singles yesterday rather convincingly.
00:04:52
Speaker 2: I've got dms filling.
00:04:56
Speaker 1: Up with pickaball offers, so I can't wait to to show you and tell you what they're going to be. I actually played one of the judges on The Block. Channel nine's The Block. Marty Fox has been messaging me absolute smack for I reckon a month. I don't know the guy, I do not know him, and he just fills my box with I'm gonna smash you. I'll beat you eleven zero, you know, And I'm like, all right, well let's play. You know, put your money. We'll not even put your money where your mouth. You's to put your mouth where you where your mouth is. I come and meet me at a pickable court and we'll play. So he meets me, and on the first point, literally the first point, he did his hamstring tore it, third grade tear. I think, I don't even know if that's bad, but sounds bad, and yeah, I mean that's what happens sometimes. It was annoying for me. I wanted to fucking pump him eleven love, eleven love, but I'll take a hamstring off the bone, you know.
00:06:07
Speaker 2: But he's a nice guy, Marty.
00:06:08
Speaker 1: I look forward to the rematch that videos on my social media if you want to watch it. Hey, speaking of social media, guess who's back back again? It's Raygun. Yeah, Rachel Gunn as she calls herself or Rega. She's done an ad for Finder. It's on social media, and I think they're offering ten thousand dollars to anyone who thinks they can dance better than Raygun.
00:06:34
Speaker 2: It's not a bad premise. It's not a bad premise.
00:06:37
Speaker 1: But the problem again is that Raygun doesn't have the ability to laugh at herself. If you watch the ad, she takes herself so seriously and she still thinks she's awesome. She's like, watch these moves, and she's completely unaware that we're all laughing at her. She is completely unaware that this advertising campaign is a piss take.
00:07:00
Speaker 2: Everyone thinks they can laugh at her.
00:07:02
Speaker 1: Yeah, everyone thinks they can laugh at her, and everyone thinks that they can dance better than her. And I don't know if Finder dot com that I you are aware. So yeah, Reagan's back. He speaking of mouthfuls, I was getting a sandwich the other day and I got my sandwich and one of the baristers said, you have you met and new sandwich maker, and I go, no, I haven't. It's come over, And this guy was. He'd finished making sandwiches for the day. He's sitting at a table and one of the brist knows, I like.
00:07:44
Speaker 2: Ladies. Let's just say I like ladies. I do.
00:07:46
Speaker 1: Like I think whoever you're attracted to in this world makes the world go round.
00:07:51
Speaker 2: Well, I think it's a lot of the reason why.
00:07:54
Speaker 1: Obviously there's friends and family and career and stuff, but a lot of it is driven by sexual wants and desires at the end of the day. And so the brewster goes, oh, you should mate. I didn't get his name. It was like fucking Richard or something. He should meet Richard. Richard loves chicks. And I'm like, oh, hey Richard, no wait man, nice sandwiches by the way.
00:08:16
Speaker 2: He goes, oh, cool man. And then the.
00:08:21
Speaker 1: Brewister says, hey, Richard, tell ash how many wains you had yesterday?
00:08:25
Speaker 2: And I'm like, well, Jesus in.
00:08:27
Speaker 1: My hand, I'm thinking we've really just jumped in the deep end here myself and Richard. And Richard goes without without even really thinking, he just goes eight and I go what, thinking like, did I mis hear something?
00:08:44
Speaker 2: I go what?
00:08:46
Speaker 1: He goes eight, said Richard, come on mate, you did not. I don't think I've ever had eight waanks in it. Like that's an that's that's more than an eighteen year old would have, right, And he goes, no, no, no, I found a really good website. I've paid for the subscription. I want to get my money's worth that. So that's fair enough. You're economical, you know, money saving dude. And he's like, yeah, yeah, I really had a good day. And I said, were you working? He goes, no, I had yesterday off. I said, that's good to know. It's good to know because I was working from home WFH otherwise known as wanking from home for Richard. And by the way, I've come up with a perfect fake name for Richard.
00:09:33
Speaker 2: They're big, big dick, big dick winking from home.
00:09:36
Speaker 1: And then the next day I was in there, right, I get like a fucking chicken snitzel panini, and who's making my.
00:09:49
Speaker 2: Sandwich with no gloves? It's Richard. It's Richard.
00:09:56
Speaker 1: And I could not stop thinking about him waking eight times in a day. Just two days earlier, two days earlier, he had eight wainks in a day, and now he's making me a panini with no gloves. It was not a nice panini. I did not enjoy it. I did not.
00:10:18
Speaker 2: I was not in the moment. I was.
00:10:22
Speaker 1: I just had this montage Richard and what Richie got up to.
00:10:27
Speaker 2: And he's not like.
00:10:30
Speaker 1: God, I was going to say he's not an attractive man, but he is in his own way. Let's just say he's a big boy. He'd be one hundred and twenty kilos, I reckon.
00:10:41
Speaker 2: So here's a.
00:10:41
Speaker 1: Whole lot of man. Yeah, and I don't know. It's yeah, I don't know. I actually appreciate how forthcoming he was part of the pump with his wanking. Like I don't know. The guy just tells me he winks eight times in a day. It's just it's too much Richard. Now look, speaking of winking, I have had an inquiry. By the way, if you want to hear the inquiry, you want to hear the longer version of this episode, please go to patreon dot com forward slash ash Williams Show and you can hear this inquiry. This email that I got, which is rather salacious and I'm gonna, you know me, I'm gonna fucking take it all the way to the bank. I'm gonna I'm gonna fucking drive to the to the board here, drive to the hoop. I don't have all the answers. And that's the podcast, my friends. For anything extra, it's Patreon dot com forward slash ash william show my email. That's why I'm giving out my email now because you never know who wants to do a deal. Ash Williams Comedy at gmail dot com.
00:11:51
Speaker 2: You know we're open for business. Hm hmmm, yes, ma'am.
00:11:58
Speaker 1: And I'll be getting back to that foot dude with a quote and I love quoting that. Yeah, if you want to quote, I'll send you through a quote. And that's the podcast. I hope you have a wonderful, wonderful Sunday. Thanks to everyone who is supporting the show on Patreon. And this time next week we'll know who the new President of the United States is. Holy shit, it's better to be a big week.
00:12:30
Speaker 2: I will talk to you next week.
00:12:31
Speaker 1: Take care, I love you, Bye Ba.
