Thom Guerrero, Surviving Death and Crushing Life: Part 2

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I'm I'm a survivor.
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Like I survived.
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I'm surviving any way that I have the ability to, but I'm not going to be limited by whatever the situation is.
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Ironically, you know, I I have that realization.
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I'm like, yeah, I'm in it.
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They they knock me out and they put me in the ambulance and I flatlined on the way to the hospital.
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So as soon as I say I'm not gonna die, then I die.
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So so technically uh it was a death-death experience, briefly.
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Metaphor in here, right?
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And beyond like, you know, here you are holding on, but as soon as like they go, okay, we're good.
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That's when things can almost like I didn't die in the cars, I'm bleeding out.
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Right in the camera, all of a sudden, you know, in the controlled environment where they're supposed to save you, I'm dying.
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Shift happened often.
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So when shift happened, it's our choice.
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Either we let shift happen or make shift happen.
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Yeah, so so I so go touching on identity shift and going back to this I idea.
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So like let me give you an example.
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Okay, so like an example of that would be okay, so previous to the accident, okay, uh, so so BA before accident for me, that Tom would have never have seen a Craig speaking somewhere and said, Oh my gosh, I want to talk to that guy.
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Reached out to him and said, Let's just talk.
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Yeah, right.
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Before accident Tom never would have done that.
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Before accident Tom always had a reason to look, no matter what I did or accomplished or all that stuff, I always had a reason to say I'm not ready for whatever that was.
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My identity was tied to that mindset of one day I'll be good enough for this, that, or the other, right?
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Yeah, and then imposter syndrome is rampant.
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Like I think every people, more people than one admit, have that.
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Even people from high, you know, authority positions, right?
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I mean, you've you've seen the top of the tree, like it's not that much different.
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Yeah.
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So, so from from that perspective, I think that we we can be in this place where once again, we think that we have infinite moves, we think that we're gonna reach this false goal goalpost one day, and we will have a false arrival moment that never comes.
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Totally, right?
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So when I reach this metric, and that's that goes back to the zeros paradox and it kind of ties in because part of what fuels this paradox of chasing these zeros and metrics is the reality is that you're chasing an identity.
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You're trying to grasp an identity, and that's why you know we were kind of talking about that idea of success.
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Like success initially, any high producer taking out of context the industry, success initially starts with very admirable reasons, right?
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Um, I was not raised in a well-off household, this, that, you know, it's it's usually adversity or something.
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There's something that's noble about the pursuit of success initially, until you reach a point of success where the only thing that feels good is more success.
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So, I mean, not to say that it is a drug, but I do think in a lot of ways it shares very similar characteristics to drug use.
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Sure.
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Because it's an addiction.
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Yeah, it's an addiction.
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Any anything can be addictive, you know, at some point.
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And so, you know, that's but success is not the enemy, like at all.
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And that's not, and that's where, you know, we were kind of talking at one point.
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I told you I restarted my book.
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I started writing a book, I got about a third of the way through, and I was like, this doesn't feel right.
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And I had to shelve and kind of restart on something.
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But part of the issue that I was dealing with is like I didn't have this paradox really worked out at that point.
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I knew that there was a couple pieces that I was trying to reconcile, and I'm like, how do they interact with each other?
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How do I measure this?
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And and that's why this paradox started to form because I was like, initially, like, this seems very it doesn't seem like it should align, but it very much does interact with one another's, right?
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This idea of well, I'm not anti-success, but I am I am definitely I value impact now.
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Well, I what I'm also hearing too.
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Yes.
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And and and it's not also it's not also linear to just metrics that in in a certain segment, right?
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That's just one facet of that.
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And I think going back to this idea of the crawl and going through that, you know, one of the things that the crawl highlighted, and we we kind of touched on this from the meeting that we had earlier.
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So we had a meeting earlier, and somebody was sharing, you know, that their mission was tied to uh their family, right?
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My um it's tied to my children and all that.
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And I think that's the easy answer, right?
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Everybody and that's why, you know, some like if you like Hermosy, for example, Layla and they've Layla and Alex, they've talked about how having children is selfish, right?
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Which as a parent does not feel selfish, but I see the fact that first thing the children are the selfish.
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Yeah, no, they are.
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They are.
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Uh but uh but in the context of how they've explained it, there's some merit too because they explain it as well, children are a very easy mission to get behind, right?
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Like I have to do something for these people, and you sort of get off the hook from like doing something can become like almost a coat of arms.
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It does, yeah, yeah.
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And it's and it's a really simple, like, oh yeah, and that's why people people have a hard time letting go of being a parent because you're only parent for a short time, right?
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You're just saying like it fully, and then you're starting to reconcile now, my kid's gonna be out of my house.
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What the fuck did I spend the last like 18 years doing with my life?
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Like I was I thought I was this person, and then one day you're not, you're one day you're somebody's father, you're not somebody's dad, you know, sitting in the house with them every day, right?
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And so you know, all that is to say that if you look at this, this, these warring ideas and and starting to grasp and put it in a more of a formula, which is what I'm attempting to do with the zero paradox, they all interact.
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And going back to the definition of success, where I was kind of going with that is the biggest thing that the crawl probably highlighted to me that I would never have said out loud before is that there's a purpose to my life that's bigger than the easy answers that I would give anyone.
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Uh-huh.
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So my easy answer would have been like, I want to be a good dad, uh-huh.
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Right?
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Okay, well, newsflash, if you're a dad, you should be a fucking good dad.
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That's part of the job.
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Like you said, mistakes, right?
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Yeah, right.
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Yeah.
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So, like, so saying that my life's purpose was to be a good dad, like most people are great parents.
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They're flawed.
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We're all flawed, but most people are great parents because you've you're gonna progress your family a little bit further than you got most of the time, right?
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So, but when that's your identity and you tie it to that, you're sort of letting yourself off the hook of like what happens when they move out.
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Yes, because you weren't, you don't become a a dad or a father, like that's is your role to a certain extent, and that some people depend on you and then they don't, they shouldn't.
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No one's saying don't be a great dad, but I mean, where I'm hearing this go, because we did talk a lot about identity.
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When your identity is tied externally, that can be taken away, and then what happens?
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So why we want to connect it internally.
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So we were kind of talking about vision at one point in one of our chats, right?
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And so what I the part that I didn't feel like I was prepared to say out loud, but what was very apparent to me is that I having my focus on such a small target was a little bit self-serving.
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Yeah.
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So it was a little self-serving, and then it was also me playing small, yeah, too.
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Because it's great.
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Like I it I I do aspire to be a great father, and I tried my hardest to do that, right?
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But to say that that's gonna be the biggest impact that my life is gonna have, yeah, right, that's kind of looking at it in a very small framework.
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And and I think this is where you're about to go, and I'll maybe say it for you.
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It's selfish.
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It's selfish of you to play small.
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Yes.
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Because you have and and I think if I may say, you said a word that I think is defining what success is for you is impact.
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Yes.
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And you you have the ability to impact the world, and it's selfish for you to not do that.
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So you have a big give to get.
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So you you made a so I so I don't want to interrupt you earlier, but you were you were when you were talking in front of uh our group, you made a really good point when you were talking telling people like, what is your mission?
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What is your mission, right?
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And it's actually funny as uh so that going back to the business side, because it's easier for me to deal with that sometimes, but going back to the business world.
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So when I started out as an originator, I was one of the only people that was in my office that made my own business cards.
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And I made my my business cards and I put my I my identity on there, which was changing the community through home ownership.
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Sure.
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That was my yeah, that was my tagline for what it was, right?
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So I was that's what I was doing.
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And that to me was that was the thing that charged me up, was like, oh, I'm gonna make an impact, right, on my community.
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I'm just doing it through helping people buy homes, right?
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So that's the way that I saw my identity that helped me push and do the things that I needed to do and stay on my goals and all that other fun stuff, right?
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And as you were talking, and it's funny because you were asking people for their definition, right?
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And I I've actually made that point to them a couple different times, but I I still know, you know, I have a copy of that, you know, 10-year-old business card still somewhere.
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But and it's funny because I now look at my life and what I'm going to accomplish.
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And I do see it on a global level.
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And I never would have at all had the goal to say that's what I'm I'm gonna be on a I'm gonna have a platform like that.
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I'm gonna hit that.
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And and even now, I I I haven't like openly, openly shared this or talk about this a lot.
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But one of the things I struggled with the most from my accident was actually uh survivor's guilt.
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I had I had this PTSD wave of surviving, it was one comment.
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It was one comment on an Instagram post that I did where I did a couple posts as I was going through kind of the recovery process.
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Not a lot, but I just sprinkled like I probably did like maybe five or six.
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Sure.
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One of them kind of like went a little crazy, had like, you know, the high amount of views and stuff like that.
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People were sharing it.
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And I was like, okay, this is cool.
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Like most people are super positive, and like this is kind of, you know, I I I'm not really about being all out there, but I'm like, what else am I gonna do with my time?
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I I was I I love to market, so I'm like, I might as well play around with, you know, mark you throwing some stuff out there.
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And this one post that I did was after I had returned home, but I was still in a wheelchair, and it was this post about me like I I couldn't make it out of my bed for months, and then I couldn't make it to the couch, and then I couldn't make it outside, but now I can make it to the end of my driveway.
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It was like something I put a bunch of clips of me, you know, and I'm in a wheelchair, you know, just w reeling myself out there.
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And this lady posted it was innocent, but she she commented on my post and she said, My son and my husband were killed by a drunk driver five years ago, and I would do anything to see them make the progress that you're making right now.
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And immediately that old identity of who am I?
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Why am I so special?
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Imposter syndrome came flooding back.
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And my honest thought was, why I'm I'm not special enough to be here and those people are not.
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Yeah.
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Like how what why?
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Yeah, you know, that hard reconciling of like, you know, and it goes into all these different facets of like, you know, your your faith and this and that, but you start tugging on all these strings, and immediately I felt guilty for having survived and for pushing myself and all those other things.
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And I was like, oh my gosh, you know, I'm this poor lady, I'm probably giving her, you know, she's reminiscing about, you know, what could have been the people that aren't here anymore.
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So I just it would it was this really dark inward place that I was in for probably like a a month or two.
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I still at times would like it would trigger me here or there, but I was just like, I don't want to be out there too much with my story and things like that, because I don't want to, and and I and not to go down this lane, but you know, that's one of the things people it's like a huge struggle bus when somebody's like, you know, well, I know God saved my life, and people, the immediate question is like, well, why did God save you there, but not so and so there, right?
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It's that whole it's yeah, it's it's definitely not, but what I can say is I don't know why.
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I still don't know why I can't reconcile that part.
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But what I the part that I can reconcile is this, and this goes back, it goes back to ties this whole thing together, which is all I know is if if I'm here, that I'm now responsible.
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And if I were to survive if I did survive the things that I have already, I'm responsible for even more.
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For what reason?
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I don't know.
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And I do get that, like I had a friend that messaged me, um, she just broke her ankle, completely shattered, all this other stuff, right?
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So she's really not in a great place.
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And she's telling me that she's going to the hospital, and the one thing through her head is she's thinking about me.
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And she's like, I can deal with this if Tom can deal with whatever he deals with.
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Yeah.
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And I hear those little comments all the time.
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And so it it has, like I said, I can't answer that question, and nor I'm not I'm not gonna attempt to either.
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And it's not a competition, too.
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But I do know that I feel the responsibility of having an impact for whatever reason.
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I know if if for I don't know why, but I do know because of that, that's what I need to do.
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And I think most people, we all have sad stories to some extent.
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We all have some diversity we've faced in our lives.
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And if you have it yet, trust me, it's coming.
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Spoiler alert, it should have been yeah, we're gonna get cancer, we're gonna we're gonna deal with these really traumatic things, right?
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So it's not, it's not an if, it's a when.
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Yeah, it happens.
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But at the end of the day, all that stuff aside, there's there's uh uh a saying, I might butcher this, but there's a scripture saying that says, you know, the the rain falls on all, both just and unjust, the rain falls on all, right?
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I don't know why it rains, I just know we're all gonna get hit at some point.
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It's not really a metric of who you are as a person, it's just the fact that rain falls.
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Rain falls and we get wet.
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And I remember when I was going through, you know, when I originally got diagnosed, you know, with cancer, and we had a company event, and so of course I couldn't be there because I literally my first day of chemo was at our company sales, but nobody really knew.
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I only told a few people.
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And I shot this video because of course I'm supposed to be on stage speaking, and and I played this video, and I remember saying, you know, and again, I didn't prepare anything per se, and you know, I just said, look, I got this.
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This one's mine, this one isn't yours.
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But you all are dealing with whatever you're dealing with.
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So while I got this, you take care of that.
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Yeah.
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And we'll see each other, you know, as we get through this.
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And that was cathartic for me, you know, and like you're saying earlier, sort of like I had to step outside myself in a way, and of course, I just put my leadership hat on, like, okay, I gotta manage myself, you know, you know, getting through this.
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Of course, it's not that simple, but I can reflect and say that.
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And but it was cathartic for me to go through and battle stage three cancer, to go through the chemo and the radiation and all the glory that comes with that, that I can do this.
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And if I can do this, that might help other people do it as well.
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Yeah.
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Of course, I'm, you know, I'm not that, you know, noble.
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Say this in the, you know, but like, but it was.
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It was sort of like, I got this, you know.
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It's that ownership mentality, like you said, that survivor ownership.
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I'm not gonna be a victim of this.
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And uh and that actually helped me fight the hard days.
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Yeah.
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Um when you don't want to, you know, you don't want to keep going.
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You don't want to get out of bed, you know, you don't want to like and one more person sticks a needle in me, type of thing.
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Yeah, right?
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No, yeah, absolutely, absolutely.
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But to your, I mean, to your credit and to give you um some kudos too, because you know, that was one of the things that was so inspiring for me.
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And and yeah, we could we could judge situations and say that was worse or that was whatever.
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But at the end of the day, here here's a couple of things that I observed from you just immediately, right?
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And kind of going tying into this point is, you know, you you went through this, what a lot of people can can use as a crutch and this, and I know it's traumatic, and I know you probably reconciled a whole lot, not knowing what all the all it was gonna entail, right?
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But anybody that I know that's gone through a cancer, whether it was the smallest little cancer, the C word is a big word, right?
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No matter what stage it is, yours was a little bit more on the extreme side.
00:16:04.879 --> 00:16:19.440
But, you know, when you were talking in that point of, you know, it and at you know, going through the cancer situation and then you lost your job and how that impacted you, and that was tied to your identity to you saying, you know what, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go charge this hill.
00:16:19.519 --> 00:16:24.799
Like you could have just been in a situation where you could have, you could have kept your status quo.
00:16:24.879 --> 00:16:28.480
And I know we talked about this at lunch actually today, but I knew it without you even saying it.
00:16:28.559 --> 00:16:30.720
Like, it's not like you there was a lack of opportunity.
00:16:30.799 --> 00:16:33.759
It's not like you couldn't have gone and done blah, blah, blah thing.
00:16:33.919 --> 00:16:40.720
You held a title and a position and a thing that on a resume could have played in, you know, in a myriad of different ways, right?
00:16:40.960 --> 00:16:54.399
But at that point, you decided to go chase something and to go take on a battle that I mean, not the same extent, but still your your emphasis was on like, I'm gonna live something on my terms, right?
00:16:54.559 --> 00:16:57.120
Not to paraphrase, but you know, to a little bit.
00:16:57.360 --> 00:17:09.680
So to me, like that's inspiring to me because I'm like, okay, this person, this person got up from one battle to pick up another sword and say, yeah, let's do when you get down with one battle, another one should get you around.
00:17:09.839 --> 00:17:10.000
Right.
00:17:10.079 --> 00:17:32.559
And that's but that's you know, seeing people like that, and I think and and it's good for me too, because even going to talking about what you know, that whole uh survivor's guilt thing and and all that, you know, I think a lot of times, once again, like when we're in the middle, it's so difficult to to prioritize what we're doing or to put an emphasis on the importance that we have.
00:17:32.720 --> 00:17:32.960
Yeah.
00:17:33.119 --> 00:17:36.559
And I think like that's a really important point right there, the importance that we have.
00:17:36.720 --> 00:17:38.799
Cause I think we lose sight of that when we get stuck in the middle.
00:17:39.119 --> 00:17:39.359
Yeah.
00:17:39.519 --> 00:17:44.400
You know, when when we're in your meeting and you put up the word for your for for the company here, offense.
00:17:44.559 --> 00:17:44.640
Yeah.
00:17:44.799 --> 00:17:51.920
And it made me think about something I used to um kind of present on a little bit a while ago, which is you know, it's it's like your athletic stance, right?
00:17:52.079 --> 00:17:57.920
And you're either on your toes, right, playing offense, or you're on your heels playing defense.
00:17:58.160 --> 00:18:02.000
But what's worse than being on your heels playing defense is being flat footed.
00:18:02.079 --> 00:18:07.920
And that's comp that could be complacency, that can be I'm stuck, that could be I don't know, that could be I lost my sort of way.
00:18:08.160 --> 00:18:20.400
And I think about that even like in the middle, you know, parallel of what you're talking about, where in fact, I would even say that it's worse to be flat footed than on defense, because at least if you're on defense and you're getting knocked back, you're in motion.
00:18:20.559 --> 00:18:22.400
Now let's figure out how we get back on our toe.
00:18:22.640 --> 00:18:23.119
So great.
00:18:23.200 --> 00:18:25.039
Okay, so let's go back to the chess thing a little bit.
00:18:25.200 --> 00:18:27.599
So, and then we're gonna play some games together at some point.
00:18:27.759 --> 00:18:34.240
But okay, so when you look at your pieces on uh in your lineup, okay, so you have all your pawns.
00:18:34.319 --> 00:18:37.440
Yeah, those another term for that would be like those are your small pieces.
00:18:37.839 --> 00:18:38.079
Okay.
00:18:38.400 --> 00:18:42.720
And then you have all of your larger pieces in the back, those are your heavy pieces, right?
00:18:42.880 --> 00:18:48.720
Those are your rooks, those are your knights, those are all those are the pieces that are multifaceted and can make all these moves, right?
00:18:49.119 --> 00:18:59.200
So to your point of being flat footed, that's just you moving your pawns around with the idea that activity equals impact.
00:18:59.359 --> 00:18:59.759
Yes.
00:19:00.000 --> 00:19:00.319
Okay.
00:19:00.559 --> 00:19:01.920
So, oh, I made a move.
00:19:02.079 --> 00:19:02.240
Yeah.
00:19:03.440 --> 00:19:04.640
Yeah, I'm busy, right?
00:19:04.799 --> 00:19:08.160
And that's that's the middle that I was stuck in a lot.
00:19:08.240 --> 00:19:08.960
And I still do.
00:19:09.119 --> 00:19:11.359
I still do get stuck in it, and I have to yank myself up.
00:19:11.519 --> 00:19:11.759
Of course.
00:19:11.920 --> 00:19:14.240
We were just talking and I was like, hey, I'm trying to reconcile.
00:19:14.319 --> 00:19:20.480
Like, I know some people would love to be in this position, so I I do hold it with high regard, but it's not worth my time.
00:19:20.880 --> 00:19:25.119
Like, is it really worth my time with for what it is and what my goal is and what I'm trying to do?
00:19:25.279 --> 00:19:25.519
Right.
00:19:25.680 --> 00:19:32.720
I have to reconcile that because in some ways it sounds arrogant because you're like, hey, I value my time too much to do this thing, right?
00:19:33.039 --> 00:19:37.359
But all you're doing is saying that, hey, when I make a move, that's one of my moves.
00:19:37.519 --> 00:19:40.160
It's it's not infinite, it's finite, right?
00:19:40.480 --> 00:19:42.960
So, but I I'm the one that's picking up the piece.
00:19:43.119 --> 00:19:55.759
And there is, and this kind of goes back to what we're talking about with like launching stuff and just to go on a quick tangent, but when you're in when you're in business, there there is these times where you play with smaller pieces, right?
00:19:55.920 --> 00:19:59.759
But the idea should be to get that piece across the board, right?
00:19:59.920 --> 00:20:18.480
And we were kind of talking, and I was telling you, like af I've lived a little life and I've observed a handful of people, and there are people that I've met where I know whatever they do will be successful, not because the thing, but because they will drive that pawn down the board and they will make sure it hits at the end, right?
00:20:18.640 --> 00:20:22.720
And some people don't have that or they haven't developed it yet, they're still working on it.
00:20:22.799 --> 00:20:34.079
But there is people where it's like, and and I think that's the hardest place to be in because you have so many moves you can make at that point because you're like, it does the move is the widget, like the widget is the is the piece.
00:20:34.319 --> 00:20:35.119
Moves matter, right?
00:20:35.200 --> 00:20:35.440
Yeah.
00:20:35.519 --> 00:20:54.880
So we're so, but I I do know that there's and you're one of those people where we I told you at lunch, I was like, dude, it's gonna be successful because I know you, you know, like I can tell you will do it at where where I have to reconcile sometimes anybody that's in that high performer bucket, so to speak, is like, what move is worth my time?
00:20:54.960 --> 00:20:58.240
And am I if am I pushing a piece down the board?
00:20:58.319 --> 00:21:00.000
Yeah, will it be something that'll be successful?
00:21:00.079 --> 00:21:00.400
Yes.
00:21:00.559 --> 00:21:03.279
But but do I already have pieces on my board that are already big?
00:21:03.359 --> 00:21:08.559
Yeah, these heavy pieces that I could move instead of being distracted trying to get these other ones across the board.
00:21:08.640 --> 00:21:08.880
Yeah.
00:21:09.039 --> 00:21:09.279
Right.
00:21:09.440 --> 00:21:17.200
And that's that's the most difficult part of what I went through was it it's not, oh my gosh, I need to be successful.
00:21:17.359 --> 00:21:22.079
That part was already like been there, bought the t-shirt, all that other fun stuff by a lot of definitions, right?
00:21:22.319 --> 00:21:22.559
Right.
00:21:22.960 --> 00:21:29.200
But impact and success, different lanes, parallel in some ways, but but very, very different lanes.
00:21:29.279 --> 00:21:34.640
And I can see the definition of impact for you rising and having that meaning.
00:21:34.799 --> 00:21:43.440
And and I and the with the chessboard too, because moves matter, and we're trying to validate our moves, and we can get very stuck into like I'm busy, but am I productive?
00:21:43.599 --> 00:21:46.559
You know, my I'm busy, but is it good, busy, or bad, busy?
00:21:46.799 --> 00:21:55.680
And you know, from a from from a leadership perspective, you know, coach, leader, you know, that's why I focus on you know, you have vision, you have strategy, and you have execution.
00:21:55.839 --> 00:21:59.599
And I'll parallel this to what we did today in you know in the meeting, you have vision.
00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:02.799
You have mission, which is your purpose, and you have values.
00:22:03.279 --> 00:22:06.000
Well, I actually don't focus as much on the vision.
00:22:06.160 --> 00:22:08.720
I focus on the strategy and your purpose.
00:22:09.039 --> 00:22:09.920
And there's a parallel there.
00:22:10.160 --> 00:22:14.000
So even going back to the multiple pieces on the chessboard and what piece are you moving?
00:22:14.400 --> 00:22:14.880
Strategy.
00:22:15.359 --> 00:22:18.559
Because strategy and purpose will put any vision to work, right?
00:22:18.880 --> 00:22:19.119
Exactly.
00:22:19.359 --> 00:22:19.440
Okay.
00:22:19.599 --> 00:22:21.200
Strategy is going to execute the vision.
00:22:21.440 --> 00:22:25.599
And strategy is the elasticity between vision and execution.
00:22:25.839 --> 00:22:26.079
Right.
00:22:26.319 --> 00:22:30.000
So strategy, and that's why chess is the ultimate game of strategy.
00:22:30.160 --> 00:22:35.839
You might be making small moves now to tee up the big move later, you know, however you play that.
00:22:36.000 --> 00:22:38.960
And strategy is also what keeps us aligned.
00:22:39.119 --> 00:22:39.519
Why?
00:22:39.759 --> 00:22:45.119
Because drift happens, shift happens, you know, and strategy pulls us back in line.
00:22:45.519 --> 00:22:49.440
So even though this is being recorded, I'm gonna think out loud right now, but I want your take on this.
00:22:49.599 --> 00:22:56.720
So, okay, so you probably are helping me define something then because tying tying this all in together, okay.
00:22:56.960 --> 00:23:04.400
So so this idea of the paradox and the weight of it and planning your moves out and all of that.
00:23:04.559 --> 00:23:09.279
So going back to this this the board analogy, so you're right.
00:23:09.359 --> 00:23:10.640
I I can totally see that.
00:23:10.799 --> 00:23:12.720
I can see how, and that goes back to what I was saying.
00:23:12.799 --> 00:23:16.559
I could see how if you put that behind any piece, it'll make it.
00:23:16.880 --> 00:23:27.759
The question really now, so this other variable is now what piece is the most impactful, and it's gotta be impactful, and you have to weigh that impact on a number of levels, right?
00:23:28.160 --> 00:23:34.319
So impact I do feel like I feel like impact success will full closely follow impact.
00:23:34.400 --> 00:23:35.759
I think that the two are somewhat tied.
00:23:36.160 --> 00:23:37.279
Well, and I would say it's a result.
00:23:37.839 --> 00:23:39.759
Yeah, and I but I don't think it works the other way.
00:23:39.920 --> 00:23:40.880
I don't think success.
00:23:41.200 --> 00:23:41.519
I agree.
00:23:41.680 --> 00:23:42.079
Okay, perfect.
00:23:42.319 --> 00:23:47.200
I think I think for and especially for where you're going, impact, the result of impact will be success.
00:23:47.839 --> 00:23:49.200
Yes, yes, a hundred percent.
00:23:49.279 --> 00:23:49.599
Okay.
00:23:49.920 --> 00:24:01.839
But this way to weigh out vision now, and this is what I've had to reconcile, and I and this is part of me getting this on paper and structuring a book around these ideas and thoughts, right?
00:24:01.920 --> 00:24:05.839
It's nothing earth shattering and it's nothing new, it's just perspective, right?
00:24:05.920 --> 00:24:11.279
There's er, you know, there's so many great great thinkers and minds and wordsmiths and all that other stuff.
00:24:11.519 --> 00:24:17.680
But the the crux of of this now and this reconciling is what vision are you gonna back?
00:24:17.839 --> 00:24:21.039
And that's the this is the crossroads that I constantly find myself in.
00:24:21.200 --> 00:24:28.799
And it kind of goes back to what we were talking about at lunch, which is I'm now at the point in life where I truly do believe I could pick up anything and run it, right?
00:24:28.960 --> 00:24:29.680
I know I can.
00:24:29.920 --> 00:24:32.160
Not to sound arrogant, that's not that's not the deal.
00:24:32.319 --> 00:24:37.359
But it's just saying because I do know the principles work and I've seen them work time and time again, and anyone, not just me.
00:24:37.440 --> 00:24:38.079
I've seen them work.
00:24:38.240 --> 00:24:52.559
But the question now is the vision that you're attaching those to and the impact, and that is where I've had visions before where they were pawns, and the vision was I'm gonna get this pawn across the board and now it's gonna be a bigger piece, and yeah, that's a thing.
00:24:52.720 --> 00:25:10.319
But I have also been scared of picking up bigger pieces using my heavy pieces on my board because I felt like it's easier to direct a pawn because that's a smaller vision and move that than to say, wow, this is a really big one, but I'm gonna use this piece right now.
00:25:10.559 --> 00:25:21.200
And I think that's the the skill that I am trying to learn now because I have I have a very high threshold for what I expect out of my life now.
00:25:21.440 --> 00:25:26.640
Once again, going back to it, it's not because of who I am, or it's not because I think very highly about myself.
00:25:26.880 --> 00:25:30.000
It's it's because I do feel an inherent responsibility now.
00:25:30.160 --> 00:25:33.920
I don't know why, but I know that if I'm here I'm responsible, right?
00:25:34.640 --> 00:25:38.079
Listening more now than maybe you were before too.
00:25:38.640 --> 00:25:48.559
Uh listen listening to why I need to make this impact or why there's a greater impact or why why am I being called this direction?
00:25:49.200 --> 00:25:56.480
I I th oh I thought you were gonna ask if I was listening to my wife, because she would say no, but most of the time exactly.
00:25:57.680 --> 00:26:01.279
I uh I I'm taking in more data points is the best way that I can.
00:26:03.279 --> 00:26:12.160
You know, so where it's I'm and and I and I do I do this on a weekly basis where I stop and I sit back and I'm like, okay, I can do this activity.
00:26:12.319 --> 00:26:14.480
I can follow this vision, right, so to speak.
00:26:14.640 --> 00:26:19.119
I can follow this, but and that will get me here, but that's playing on a smaller level.
00:26:19.200 --> 00:26:20.799
What's a what's a big let me zoom out?
00:26:20.880 --> 00:26:23.440
What's a bigger move that I can make right now, right?
00:26:23.599 --> 00:26:26.799
Like I could have, I could have jet, it was the same typing.
00:26:26.960 --> 00:26:30.799
I could have just typed on one of your Instagram posts and been like, hey man, it was a great speech.
00:26:31.279 --> 00:26:35.920
That same me typing instead was a direct message asking you to talk to me, right?
00:26:36.079 --> 00:26:40.079
And I've done that on a multitude of levels now because once again it's impact.
00:26:40.160 --> 00:26:42.160
Your world and my world are now colliding.
00:26:42.319 --> 00:26:46.480
I don't know what this is gonna create, but I know there's a lot of great stuff that are gonna come out of both sides, right?
00:26:47.279 --> 00:26:48.319
Right, 100%, right?
00:26:48.400 --> 00:26:57.680
So it's one of those things where it's just magnifying, but I do think that that takes the guts to attach those tools to that bigger vision.
00:26:57.920 --> 00:27:02.880
And I don't think most people it okay, we talked about this uh a little earlier.
00:27:03.039 --> 00:27:10.160
So we talked about we were looking at somebody and we were looking at what they produce, and we were both and you were kind of saying, Oh my gosh, that there's so much potential there.
00:27:10.240 --> 00:27:14.400
And I was like, I know there's so much potential, I think the potential's here, and you're like, I think the potential's here, right?
00:27:14.559 --> 00:27:17.599
So we're talking about this person and the amount of potential that they have, right?
00:27:17.759 --> 00:27:19.200
All of the pieces are there.
00:27:19.440 --> 00:27:28.240
Like you know, and I know you as a coach, you probably you're probably there and you're like, it's like a you walk into a kitchen to cook and you're like, I got eggs, I got this, right?
00:27:28.400 --> 00:27:30.079
And and owning a restaurant, right?
00:27:30.160 --> 00:27:39.440
So like I've owned a restaurant for years, and I've had a less qualified chef walk into a rut, you know, walk in there and make something that was good, right?
00:27:39.599 --> 00:27:41.039
A sandwich or something like that.
00:27:41.279 --> 00:27:50.880
And I've had somebody, same, same ingredients, but I've had somebody that is a highly rated chef come in and make something remarkable where you're like, I've never had anything like this in my life.
00:27:51.039 --> 00:27:56.000
Same ingredients, same tools, yeah, same fire, same alt, same pan, yeah, all that stuff, right?
00:27:56.079 --> 00:28:00.240
It's just the execution and the skill set that's different, right?
00:28:00.480 --> 00:28:03.039
And I think that that's I see that in most people.
00:28:03.200 --> 00:28:05.680
Like most people, it's not that they don't have the talent, yeah.
00:28:05.839 --> 00:28:11.279
And it's not that they don't have the the mission in them either.
00:28:11.440 --> 00:28:18.640
It's that they don't, they're not, they're they're attaching themselves to a vision that's a much smaller vision that they're comfortable with, right?
00:28:18.880 --> 00:28:20.480
Their vision becomes their identity.
00:28:20.559 --> 00:28:22.319
We were talking about that identity piece, right?
00:28:22.559 --> 00:28:26.640
Your identity is a is expanded and all of a sudden you're making different moves.
00:28:26.720 --> 00:28:28.079
And that's what I was saying today.
00:28:28.160 --> 00:28:33.039
Like you could run your business, you could run your business, your job, anything like a CEO.
00:28:33.119 --> 00:28:37.359
The title of CEO does not make you any different, right?
00:28:37.599 --> 00:28:43.200
It means you're looking at things, it means you're overcoming problems, it means you're you're judging market trends, it means you're forecasting.
00:28:43.359 --> 00:28:51.119
But anyone in any line of the chain could do that and make their life better and and they could climb ranks anywhere, right?
00:28:51.200 --> 00:28:53.680
Like it's it's but it's all the same things.
00:28:53.759 --> 00:28:58.400
And and so that that that actually brings a lot of clarity to me too.
00:28:58.480 --> 00:29:04.640
It's it's definitely that it's attaching that vision piece because the vision doesn't, the vision isn't necessarily what drives anything.
00:29:05.279 --> 00:29:07.599
It's just the it's just the vehicle, right?
00:29:08.079 --> 00:29:11.839
Vision creates clarity, it can create focus, but vision is not execution.
00:29:12.000 --> 00:29:14.640
And that's where a lot of people can get stuck in good intentions.
00:29:14.799 --> 00:29:15.119
Yeah.
00:29:15.279 --> 00:29:15.440
Right?
00:29:15.599 --> 00:29:16.720
We got a lot of good ideas.
00:29:16.880 --> 00:29:18.480
Maybe we're chasing squirrels, right?
00:29:18.640 --> 00:29:24.559
But without a solid strategy, I'll go back to strategy, that's when drift happens, or that's when non-execution happens, and so on.
00:29:24.720 --> 00:29:24.880
Yeah.
00:29:25.119 --> 00:29:27.680
And something else you said too, to maybe connect a couple dots.
00:29:27.759 --> 00:29:30.240
Like you there's two words, and I'm just gonna call them out.
00:29:30.480 --> 00:29:33.279
At one point you said fear, and another point you said guts.
00:29:33.359 --> 00:29:33.599
Yeah.
00:29:33.839 --> 00:29:37.599
And I think that because I mean, obviously, fear is a factor in all of us, right?
00:29:37.839 --> 00:29:39.759
Fear lives in our future, it lives in uncertainty, yeah.
00:29:39.920 --> 00:29:41.200
Fear can create limiting beliefs.
00:29:41.279 --> 00:29:42.000
I mean, all the things.
00:29:42.240 --> 00:29:43.599
Fear factor created Joe Rogan.
00:29:43.759 --> 00:29:45.279
Fear factor created Joe Rogan, by the way.
00:29:45.519 --> 00:29:49.440
We come out of it's when fear can define and how we come out of uh come out of that.
00:29:49.599 --> 00:30:00.799
But to have the guts or courage, or sometimes, you know, and this is kind of funny because I would start a joke sometimes, like, you know, like one of my superpowers, and maybe I said this to you before, like one of my superpowers is ignorance.
00:30:01.599 --> 00:30:01.839
Yeah.
00:30:02.079 --> 00:30:06.960
That is one of my uh throughout my career, the evolution of my career and how I've grown.
00:30:07.119 --> 00:30:12.799
Okay, I'm gonna take on this new role, I'm gonna take on this new project, I'm gonna uproot my family and take on this whole new job.
00:30:12.960 --> 00:30:13.759
And you know what?
00:30:13.839 --> 00:30:16.640
I'm gonna be okay not knowing all the answers.
00:30:16.799 --> 00:30:17.359
Yeah.
00:30:17.680 --> 00:30:22.720
That was one of the biggest catalysts to get over what otherwise be like, I don't know the plan.
00:30:22.799 --> 00:30:23.680
I don't know all the answers.
00:30:23.759 --> 00:30:24.640
What if this goes bad?
00:30:24.799 --> 00:30:25.759
What if this goes bad?
00:30:25.920 --> 00:30:31.359
All the fear can grow roots, and then all of a sudden now we're we're sort of stuck where we're always, you know, been.
00:30:31.519 --> 00:30:31.680
Yeah.
00:30:31.759 --> 00:30:38.640
But to all of a sudden, it's like, how do some people, and you being one of them, accident aside, I don't know BA version of Tom.
00:30:38.799 --> 00:30:42.079
I only know this version of Tom, but I can't imagine there was a version before this.
00:30:42.240 --> 00:30:44.559
I see nothing but large impact in your life.
00:30:44.640 --> 00:30:55.200
I see nothing but great worldwide impact in what you do, and that ability to just go forward, have the guts to move forward, right?
00:30:55.359 --> 00:30:58.400
And bravery and courage and guts and all these things we're talking about.
00:30:58.480 --> 00:31:02.079
Sometimes it's just a matter of like, I'm just gonna take that one step forward.
00:31:02.240 --> 00:31:13.119
Even if it's I'm just gonna move the rook or the pawn, you know, whatever that piece is, I'm gonna move it forward, but it's gonna be in line with where I want to go, even if I don't know the exact answer.
00:31:13.279 --> 00:31:13.519
Right.
00:31:13.680 --> 00:31:14.960
I'm gonna be okay with that.
00:31:15.039 --> 00:31:15.200
Yeah.
00:31:15.359 --> 00:31:20.160
And that forward motion, that's also what helps kind of unlock that stuckness, right?
00:31:20.240 --> 00:31:21.119
The great unstuck.
00:31:21.440 --> 00:31:21.519
Right.
00:31:21.839 --> 00:31:22.319
Well, 100%.
00:31:22.559 --> 00:31:29.839
And like that's you know, something, and I'm sure as coach, same thing too, where it's like, I if somebody's got inertia, it's really easy to direct them.
00:31:29.920 --> 00:31:30.160
Yeah.
00:31:30.319 --> 00:31:32.799
The hardest person to direct is a person that's standing still.
00:31:32.880 --> 00:31:33.039
Yeah.
00:31:33.200 --> 00:31:33.359
Right.
00:31:33.920 --> 00:31:38.240
If you're if you're already moving, yeah, hey, I'm gonna let you go that way.
00:31:38.319 --> 00:31:39.200
Yeah, you're already walking.
00:31:39.440 --> 00:31:41.200
It's like when you go bowling and you put the rails up, yeah.
00:31:42.000 --> 00:31:42.240
100%.
00:31:42.559 --> 00:31:43.519
No, a hundred percent.
00:31:43.680 --> 00:31:43.920
Yeah.
00:31:44.000 --> 00:31:50.640
So it's uh guts, courage, all those other things, uh ignorance, uh, I'm in my case, I'll use the word stupidity at times, right?
00:31:50.799 --> 00:32:01.279
Uh, but I think, you know, from my perspective, my going back to another saying from my family, but you know, my grandfather used to have a saying, and I think about all the all the time.
00:32:01.440 --> 00:32:06.240
And um, you know, one of the sayings that he always had is if a man can build it, a man can fix it.
00:32:06.799 --> 00:32:21.279
And um, there's he's got some legendary stories from his time, I never got to witness, but where you know, he the family car broke down on the side of the road and God knows where, and he used he took his belt off and he fixed an engine component with his leather belt.
00:32:21.440 --> 00:32:21.599
Of course.
00:32:22.000 --> 00:32:24.720
And the car got them to wherever they needed to go.
00:32:24.799 --> 00:32:27.200
And so, like, that was always a saying that I heard growing up.
00:32:27.359 --> 00:32:29.680
If a man built it, a man can fix it.
00:32:29.759 --> 00:32:32.160
When right before my dad passed away, you know, my dad used to say that.
00:32:32.319 --> 00:32:36.160
I was like, Daddy, those robots and all that builds on this shit, like we can't exactly fix everything.
00:32:36.319 --> 00:32:38.799
Now, but anyways, but the thought was was really, really good.
00:32:38.880 --> 00:32:56.880
And so I think that to your point, uh, I I I think that the the the whole idea of stuck, and I and I and I don't think that you can just flip a switch and get out of a place, but I think that you can gain perspective and practice at any given time.
00:32:56.960 --> 00:32:58.000
And I have to do that too.
00:32:58.079 --> 00:33:01.039
And that's that goes back to the idea of this book.
00:33:01.200 --> 00:33:11.279
You know, one of the things that uh after I wrote, I didn't I didn't have any input on the book as I was writing it up until I got the third, you know, the third of it done.
00:33:11.440 --> 00:33:17.359
And then when I got to the point where I got a third of it done, I created a a writing coach, an AI writing coach.
00:33:17.440 --> 00:33:20.319
And so I created the personality, I put all the pieces that I want.
00:33:20.400 --> 00:33:22.480
And I was like, now I'm gonna just dump it in there, you know.
00:33:22.559 --> 00:33:30.160
So I'm I was like here, and it'd be easier for me to listen to a robot than a person or have I had a couple friends that were like, shoot it over, let me read it.
00:33:30.240 --> 00:33:32.720
And I was like, I don't want you to read this like at all.
00:33:32.880 --> 00:33:41.599
Um, but in the dialogue that I had, my wife was uh she thought I was writing, and actually I spent a whole weekend going back and forth with this AI Yeah, you know, it's a it's a rabbit hole.
00:33:41.759 --> 00:33:43.839
We were yeah, it would it took me on a rabbit hole.
00:33:44.000 --> 00:33:49.759
Um so TARS, TARS is my my chat GPT personality that it goes through and helps and it was helping me edit.
00:33:49.839 --> 00:33:58.799
But one of the questions that the AI uh bot asked me that literally shook me was the question was, do you feel like you've arrived?
00:33:58.960 --> 00:34:07.119
Like reading through this, like, do you truly, truly feel like now, you know, post accident, you're in this place where you've arrived.
00:34:07.279 --> 00:34:10.239
And I had to stop and I really thought about that.
00:34:10.400 --> 00:34:14.480
And I was like, just you know, give me some clarity on like why you're asking this.
00:34:14.639 --> 00:34:16.159
I was like, because the easy answer is no.
00:34:16.320 --> 00:34:22.079
And they're like, okay, well, but the way that you wrote this, it makes it sound like you've arrived somewhere.
00:34:22.320 --> 00:34:23.519
So do you truly feel like that?
00:34:23.679 --> 00:34:25.280
Like, is that how you operate right now?
00:34:25.440 --> 00:34:32.719
And to be honest with you, and going back to this idea of like being stuck, like, no, I feel like I'm at war with myself more now than I've ever been.
00:34:32.880 --> 00:34:35.360
It's not, it's it's not a peaceful place.
00:34:35.440 --> 00:34:37.440
I'm at peace in a lot of different ways.
00:34:37.599 --> 00:34:43.360
And I'm Kai, if you're watching this, I'm tracking my sleep and doing all these things to be in a better place.
00:34:43.840 --> 00:34:51.119
But so, so it's not that part, but the the constant struggle of I need to push myself.
00:34:51.440 --> 00:34:53.119
Am I getting too comfortable?
00:34:53.280 --> 00:34:56.800
Am I using a smaller, am I am I bringing myself back down?
00:34:56.960 --> 00:34:58.800
Yeah, am I am I hiding?
00:34:59.039 --> 00:35:11.519
There's a lot of there's a and it happens on sometimes a daily, but for sure a weekly basis where I catch myself and I have to go back and I have to reconcile decisions I'm making and moves that I'm making, and I have to course correct myself.
00:35:11.679 --> 00:35:20.480
Like, hey, if you could make if you're gonna make five phone calls this week, what's one of those phone calls that's gonna set you on a path to this bigger thing that you're trying to accomplish?
00:35:20.559 --> 00:35:22.639
And I make one of those phone calls, right?
00:35:22.880 --> 00:35:26.960
It's not something that's easy, but it is a strategy to your point.
00:35:27.039 --> 00:35:34.320
Like those strategies are if you hang on to them, they're gonna pull you through whatever that situation is.
00:35:34.480 --> 00:35:38.639
And you know, we haven't really talked about this, but just to ask you, it puts you in the seat a little bit.
00:35:39.199 --> 00:35:44.960
But, you know, as you were going through that situation with health, I mean, what did you c cling on to?
00:35:45.039 --> 00:35:46.400
I'm just curious, like your take on it.
00:35:46.719 --> 00:35:47.280
Endurance.
00:35:47.440 --> 00:35:47.760
Okay.
00:35:47.920 --> 00:35:58.639
Uh so you know, when I when I was going through that, and the reason why endurance comes up is because early on, when I put my sort of like, okay, I had to put my management hat on, okay.
00:35:58.719 --> 00:36:00.320
How am I gonna manage myself through treatment?
00:36:00.400 --> 00:36:00.559
Right.
00:36:00.719 --> 00:36:02.400
And so that became my one word, right?
00:36:02.559 --> 00:36:04.079
Our theme, our one word, you know.
00:36:04.480 --> 00:36:08.079
And that for me is like, okay, it's not that I have cancer, it's there is cancer.
00:36:08.159 --> 00:36:10.639
So therefore, I just have to endure treatment.
00:36:10.800 --> 00:36:11.119
Right.
00:36:11.280 --> 00:36:15.119
Therefore, every single day I wake up and I look through the lens of endurance.
00:36:15.199 --> 00:36:16.000
I am strong, right?
00:36:16.079 --> 00:36:18.079
And I would joke, like, people would say, Hey, how you doing?
00:36:18.159 --> 00:36:23.519
I would just send like a strong like bull type of thing, you know, an arm and a and a bull and you know, strong like bull.
00:36:23.679 --> 00:36:33.360
But that's why it was so important for to in order to not get pushed back or to be stuck in just the woes of all the bullshit of you know, treatment, I will endure every day.
00:36:33.440 --> 00:36:37.119
I walk in, you know, if I go to the hospital, I'm getting my chemo treatment, like, all right, stick me, doc.
00:36:37.360 --> 00:36:39.119
You know, like I will endure.
00:36:39.280 --> 00:36:40.000
I will endure.
00:36:40.159 --> 00:36:43.199
And and enough days will go by and I'll get on the other side of this.
00:36:43.280 --> 00:36:44.960
And so that was my theme, you know.
00:36:45.039 --> 00:36:52.800
And then certainly coming out of that, and then, you know, when the company shut down, I find myself, you know, losing my job six weeks after treatment finished, like, what the fuck is going on in my life?
00:36:53.119 --> 00:36:54.079
I'm like, endure some more.
00:36:54.480 --> 00:36:57.360
Yeah, but but endurance was like, it wasn't that at that point.
00:36:57.599 --> 00:36:58.800
Now it was shift.
00:36:58.880 --> 00:36:59.199
Right.
00:36:59.360 --> 00:37:00.800
I need to shift, you know.
00:37:00.960 --> 00:37:01.199
Yeah.
00:37:01.360 --> 00:37:07.199
And of course I can, I can, I can say this in reflection, you know, certainly it wasn't always that easy.
00:37:07.280 --> 00:37:17.119
But once I, once I made that decision, once I declared that this is who I am now, I move forward with nothing but faith plus grit.
00:37:17.599 --> 00:37:18.960
And that's how I, you know, move forward.
00:37:19.039 --> 00:37:26.400
And it doesn't mean I don't fight fear and limiting beliefs, and like you said, yeah, yeah, this, that, or the other, or battling, you know, because it's like called the beguette principle, right?
00:37:26.559 --> 00:37:29.519
Like good begets good, hunger begets hunger.
00:37:29.599 --> 00:37:29.760
Yeah.
00:37:30.000 --> 00:37:33.119
And so the more that you keep striving and building, you're like, okay.
00:37:33.280 --> 00:37:40.880
So I can understand like Chat GPT and and writing almost as if there's this arrival, but like we never feel like we've arrived.
00:37:40.960 --> 00:37:41.199
Yeah.
00:37:41.360 --> 00:37:44.400
So there's this, and it reminds me of, I don't know if you've seen this.
00:37:44.480 --> 00:37:46.239
Okay, so one of my favorite shows is The Office.
00:37:46.400 --> 00:37:55.039
Yes, I don't know if it's there's a great quote from Andy Bernard, Ed Helms, and you might know it's on Instagram, and it's it's one of the most beautiful quotes ever.
00:37:55.119 --> 00:37:57.599
And I've heard him quote it now today as a as a human.
00:37:57.840 --> 00:38:01.440
I wish I knew that these were the best of times during those times.
00:38:01.599 --> 00:38:01.760
Yeah.
00:38:01.920 --> 00:38:05.280
And I'm sure I'm not saying it correctly, but to that you know, flavor.
00:38:05.519 --> 00:38:07.360
And that makes me think about what Chatterer is.
00:38:08.159 --> 00:38:08.639
I think you've seen it.
00:38:08.960 --> 00:38:09.280
That is it.
00:38:09.360 --> 00:38:11.119
I wish we knew we're in the good old days during that.
00:38:11.440 --> 00:38:13.679
And that makes me stop and sort of reflect.
00:38:13.760 --> 00:38:15.920
And I think as we've talked about, time moves fast.
00:38:16.000 --> 00:38:17.039
How do we slow down?
00:38:17.199 --> 00:38:18.639
Okay, this is good.
00:38:18.800 --> 00:38:21.039
You know, let's this is a really good moment.
00:38:21.199 --> 00:38:25.199
We happen to have the cameras on, we're in a podcast, but I actually forgot that we had the cameras on.
00:38:25.280 --> 00:38:26.880
I thought we were just having a conversation again.
00:38:27.119 --> 00:38:28.400
Yeah, at least we're in person this time.
00:38:28.480 --> 00:38:29.119
Yeah, because it's over.
00:38:30.000 --> 00:38:31.760
And this is the first time we've met in person.
00:38:33.920 --> 00:38:37.360
So I, you know, look, brother, I I love where you're going, man.
00:38:37.519 --> 00:38:39.599
And you have such an incredible story.
00:38:39.760 --> 00:38:48.800
I mean, look, unfortunately or fortunately, the accident has put you on a path, and maybe it's brought clarity and a higher meaning and an impact into your life.
00:38:48.960 --> 00:38:52.960
I think you're destined for success and for large impact, regardless.
00:38:53.119 --> 00:39:04.960
But just like for me, going through, you know, mild stuff or going through what, you know, the job loss, which impacted me more than cancer, but it put me on this path that I have never felt more purposeful in what I do.
00:39:05.119 --> 00:39:05.440
Yeah.
00:39:05.679 --> 00:39:12.559
And and I know for you, for me, for us, you know, um, wherever we go forward with this, I know we're gonna be going forward.
00:39:12.960 --> 00:39:13.599
Yeah, absolutely.
00:39:13.840 --> 00:39:15.760
And and I think that, you know, we're on our toes.
00:39:15.920 --> 00:39:17.760
Even when you get knocked down, we're back on our toes.
00:39:17.920 --> 00:39:18.719
Right now, right.
00:39:19.199 --> 00:39:20.960
So all right, last la last question.
00:39:21.119 --> 00:39:31.039
If there was one word that you want the audience to remember from this conversation, if there's one word that stands out to you right now, if there's one word that's meaningful to you right now, what's your one word?
00:39:31.280 --> 00:39:32.000
Who you know what?
00:39:32.079 --> 00:39:33.440
Uh it's gonna be a couple words.
00:39:33.679 --> 00:39:34.000
That's okay.
00:39:34.239 --> 00:39:43.440
But I'm I'm gonna give you uh and it's funny because I every time I share this, so we I as you were talking about, because I was really curious your process because we hadn't talked about that going through that.
00:39:43.599 --> 00:39:50.480
So one of the things that my dad, going back to his lessons, one of the things he taught me was go to work, no matter what is going on.
00:39:50.639 --> 00:39:53.039
And I use that in a bad way a lot of times.
00:39:53.199 --> 00:40:02.480
But we're let's go back to the concept of being stuck or you know, making shift happen and and to go to the context of like a lot of what you're trying to do is push people, right?
00:40:02.719 --> 00:40:17.039
And and I think that's the the strategy piece when I was going through my issues and and going through recovery and and there was a lot of navigating that I needed to to do because am I losing this leg?
00:40:17.119 --> 00:40:18.159
Is that gonna keep?
00:40:18.320 --> 00:40:19.679
Am I do I have to do this?
00:40:19.840 --> 00:40:24.639
I I was in the hospital for a month before they found out that my my knee was injured.
00:40:24.880 --> 00:40:26.079
And I was like, I just can't move.
00:40:26.159 --> 00:40:28.239
Like I know this is, but like what about this part?
00:40:28.320 --> 00:40:30.320
And they're like, Oh yeah, your patella snapped.
00:40:30.400 --> 00:40:30.800
We missed that.
00:40:31.679 --> 00:40:32.320
Uh yeah.
00:40:32.559 --> 00:40:40.320
So so anyway, so there's a lot of navigate, but you know, the one the thing, and I and I think uh going back to preface it, like it can be used in a bad way too.
00:40:40.400 --> 00:40:46.559
But you know, my my parents, my my dad taught me that, and he was like, no matter what happens, you just go to work.
00:40:46.719 --> 00:40:58.000
And when that happened, and I woke up in the hospital and and you know, I was uh I had the tube down my throat and all this stuff, like my immediate thought was like, I just gotta outwork this situation.
00:40:58.159 --> 00:40:59.039
Yours was endurance.
00:40:59.119 --> 00:41:02.800
Mine was like, I gotta just whatever, I don't care if I can move a finger.
00:41:02.960 --> 00:41:06.719
I'm gonna move that finger a thousand times a day to get wherever I need to go.
00:41:06.880 --> 00:41:15.119
And and I that was my attitude with my doctors, and that even to this day, like that is my attitude now in any situation that I'm facing.
00:41:15.199 --> 00:41:17.920
And so I I do just want to throw that thought out there.
00:41:18.079 --> 00:41:27.280
You know, my my parents on their on their tombstone, and I share this, people kind of look at it a little bit weird, but it literally says like their names, and it says, like the quote is go to work.
00:41:27.360 --> 00:41:34.880
And and I knew that my dad would have been happy about that because the last thing he would have wanted is for me to sit there and stare at that stone.
00:41:34.960 --> 00:41:40.000
Yeah, he would have wanted me to move on and go do something productive, right?
00:41:40.159 --> 00:41:42.239
Or take care of the family and all that other stuff.
00:41:42.400 --> 00:41:45.039
I did there was a trauma traumatic swing, and I get all that.
00:41:45.119 --> 00:41:47.039
Well, that's another podcast episode.
00:41:47.199 --> 00:41:57.679
But the the point is though, I I just want to encourage anyone, no matter what you're facing right now, you know, that's the part that I think that that mental gymnastics that you could play to say, like, no, no, no, no, no.
00:41:57.760 --> 00:41:58.239
That's all good.
00:41:58.320 --> 00:42:01.440
I'm just gonna navigate this, I'm gonna outwork this, I'm gonna endure this.
00:42:01.679 --> 00:42:03.519
I think those are all really good mindsets.
00:42:03.599 --> 00:42:07.679
And I think those are the people that I am I gravitate towards the most.
00:42:07.760 --> 00:42:12.239
Like it's really difficult for me to get around people that haven't faced trauma now.
00:42:12.480 --> 00:42:13.280
I don't know, I don't know.
00:42:13.360 --> 00:42:15.039
I think I kind of asked you that one time a little bit.
00:42:15.119 --> 00:42:16.079
Yeah, but I was like, it's real.
00:42:16.320 --> 00:42:20.639
But I have somebody they're like, oh yeah, my life is great, and I'm like, yeah, like I I mean you're cool.
00:42:20.960 --> 00:42:29.199
But for some reason, just having those people around me that have gone through adversity, you know, in an extreme way.
00:42:29.360 --> 00:42:30.719
Like, I love those people.
00:42:30.800 --> 00:42:39.039
Like, I like other people don't get me wrong, but those are the people where I'm like, oh my gosh, you know, it it it's it's an energy exchange where I'm just like, yes.
00:42:39.360 --> 00:42:50.320
You know, I've I've said to people too, you know, like like you know, r you know, a friend of mine, you know, was diagnosed with cancer not too long ago, and I texted him, I said, Hey, welcome to the club you never wanted to join.
00:42:51.119 --> 00:42:54.880
You know, and and it's a it's you know, yeah, but it's time to go to work.
00:42:55.039 --> 00:42:56.559
Yeah, yep, no, absolutely.
00:42:56.639 --> 00:43:04.400
So I I hope that that helps people no matter where you're at on your journey, you know, and I'm so happy to be here and you know thank you for everything and the time, yeah.
00:43:04.719 --> 00:43:07.119
No, I appreciate it, brother, and and I love their time together.
00:43:07.199 --> 00:43:12.480
And it's been such a good conversation and just and there's such a to be continued from this conversation.
00:43:12.639 --> 00:43:12.800
Yeah.
00:43:13.039 --> 00:43:18.639
So I feel like that's all of our conversations, but I I'm always amped up after we talk and and all that stuff.
00:43:18.880 --> 00:43:24.639
And just to throw it on there too, uh, this is a social thing, but you definitely follow me on on Instagram.
00:43:24.719 --> 00:43:27.440
And there's gonna be uh I'll be putting some information out there.
00:43:27.519 --> 00:43:32.320
I'm hoping to have this book project wrapped by the end of the year at this point, if not a little bit sooner.
00:43:32.480 --> 00:43:35.199
So I'd love uh for you guys to tell people where they can follow you on Instagram.
00:43:35.360 --> 00:43:36.559
So you can follow me on Instagram.
00:43:36.639 --> 00:43:38.719
Uh my uh it's actually on my band here.
00:43:38.800 --> 00:43:40.719
So these so about to show your tattoo.
00:43:40.880 --> 00:43:40.960
Yeah.
00:43:41.199 --> 00:43:48.880
So when I was in the hospital, I got these pictures and my media rebranding, which people were like, oh wow, Tom must be doing okay.
00:43:48.960 --> 00:43:55.920
Cause like within the first 48 hours of waking up, I don't think I could talk, but I changed my Instagram name and I changed my yeah.
00:43:56.000 --> 00:43:58.800
So I rebranded myself as like rebuilding the doctor.
00:43:58.880 --> 00:44:01.440
That was my that was my name on there and all that stuff.
00:44:01.679 --> 00:44:09.360
And then so Hashim, when I, you know, Hashem and when I was meeting our June, yeah, Hashim's like, hey bro, I just to be honest with you, your Instagram name's stupid.
00:44:09.519 --> 00:44:11.039
I was like, Okay, thanks, dude.
00:44:11.199 --> 00:44:12.880
That meant a lot to me, but why are you?
00:44:15.519 --> 00:44:16.719
Okay, it wasn't the hospital.
00:44:16.880 --> 00:44:20.639
But uh but I got a bunch of photos, and so I kind of wear it wear this as a reminder.
00:44:20.719 --> 00:44:24.480
But a bunch of uh one of my friends made a bunch of these little wristbands and said Dr.
00:44:24.559 --> 00:44:25.519
Tom Strong.
00:44:25.679 --> 00:44:32.400
And so they would be out, you know, wherever they were out at, they would send me photos of it because I was trapped in a hospital.
00:44:32.480 --> 00:44:34.800
Uh so you can follow my Instagram, it's Dr.
00:44:34.880 --> 00:44:35.360
Tom Strong.
00:44:35.679 --> 00:44:40.639
A lot of people think I was like in into weightlifting, but I'm very much disabled, but I still do do some stuff.
00:44:40.880 --> 00:44:43.360
But you can follow me on there and I'll put some more information out there.
00:44:43.440 --> 00:44:50.400
But uh and I'll have all the information in the show links and you know, and and you guys are gonna seeing you're gonna be seeing a lot more of the mortgage doctor here.
00:44:50.480 --> 00:44:52.320
You're gonna be seeing a lot more of Tom here.
00:44:52.480 --> 00:44:54.400
And uh I can hardly wait for your book to come out.
00:44:54.480 --> 00:44:56.639
You're gonna see more, you're gonna see Tom on stages more.
00:44:56.719 --> 00:45:03.599
You're just gonna see the impact that you know Tom is gonna leave on this world and keep, you know, and and keep you know doing the work and moving forward.
00:45:03.679 --> 00:45:11.840
And by no means is this gonna be, you know, our our only conversation on this podcast, and I'm sure many more, and I've got lots of introductions to make for you as well.
00:45:12.000 --> 00:45:14.559
So I appreciate you uh talking shift with me.
00:45:14.719 --> 00:45:18.400
I think everybody in the audience, you know, please reach out if you have any questions.
00:45:18.480 --> 00:45:19.920
I'd love to help make the connection to Tom.
00:45:20.000 --> 00:45:20.880
But I appreciate it, brother.
00:45:21.119 --> 00:45:21.360
Absolutely.
00:45:21.440 --> 00:45:21.840
Thanks, man.
00:45:21.920 --> 00:45:22.559
Yeah, definitely.
00:45:22.800 --> 00:45:23.519
All right, everyone.
00:45:23.679 --> 00:45:24.800
Appreciate you joining us.
00:45:24.880 --> 00:45:29.360
Welcome uh back to the Talk and Shift Show, and we'll see you next time.
00:45:29.679 --> 00:45:32.159
Hey, thanks for joining me today on Talk and Shift.
00:45:32.239 --> 00:45:33.039
I hope you enjoyed it.
00:45:33.199 --> 00:45:35.679
I'm looking forward to seeing you on our next episode.