Escaping The Identity Trap with Angelica Ventrice

WEBVTT
00:00:00.239 --> 00:00:04.639
We latch on to an identity that's not even ours when we're younger, right?
00:00:04.719 --> 00:00:06.240
It's what I talked about in my TEDx.
00:00:06.480 --> 00:00:10.400
I had the father who was like pushing me and money doesn't grow on trees.
00:00:10.560 --> 00:00:11.439
You've got to work hard.
00:00:11.599 --> 00:00:12.720
You don't need to like what you do.
00:00:12.800 --> 00:00:13.919
Just work, work, work.
00:00:14.160 --> 00:00:16.079
And then I was like, okay, I just need to be a hard worker.
00:00:16.160 --> 00:00:17.120
I need to get straight A's.
00:00:17.199 --> 00:00:22.480
And when I was working hard and when I was getting the good grades and getting the accolades in my career, I was receiving love.
00:00:22.559 --> 00:00:24.960
And those things we become attached to our ego.
00:00:25.039 --> 00:00:28.399
It keeps us safe, secure, and validated and successful.
00:00:28.480 --> 00:00:33.439
And we get really attached to this identity that we never consciously chose.
00:00:43.359 --> 00:00:45.840
When gift happened, it is our choice.
00:00:46.240 --> 00:00:49.439
We let gift happen, we make gift happen.
00:01:01.920 --> 00:01:05.920
I'm super excited to welcome you uh onto the show, Angelica.
00:01:06.000 --> 00:01:13.840
Um, and for everybody listening, you know, Angelica's new to the group, new to the new to the show, and Angelica's an executive and leadership coach.
00:01:14.000 --> 00:01:28.799
And what I love, and when I met Angelica a couple um months ago, or sorry, a couple weeks ago, was you know, not only is she an executive leadership coach, she's a pattern breaker, she comes from the fitness industry, she comes from the pharmaceutical sales industry, she's a high performer.
00:01:28.959 --> 00:01:32.159
But this is what's so critical, and this is the conversation we're going to get into.
00:01:32.400 --> 00:01:37.439
She is so focused on helping people break the identity trap.
00:01:37.840 --> 00:01:44.079
And for those of you who know my story, and I've certainly, I'm sure we'll you know have this conversation here, that is so powerful.
00:01:44.239 --> 00:01:51.760
It is so powerful for limiting performance, um, going down the wrong road, not feeling connection to your joy, purpose, and passion.
00:01:51.920 --> 00:01:57.680
And it certainly, as it did with me when you know things changed in my life, because right, shift happens.
00:01:57.840 --> 00:02:02.079
And all of a sudden, when then identity breaks, then all of a sudden, who am I?
00:02:02.319 --> 00:02:03.200
Who are we?
00:02:03.439 --> 00:02:04.400
And it's so important.
00:02:04.560 --> 00:02:06.000
So we're gonna get into this conversation.
00:02:06.159 --> 00:02:11.039
I want to welcome Angelica Ventries, TEDx speaker, leadership coach, badass.
00:02:11.199 --> 00:02:12.960
Welcome to the show, Angelica.
00:02:13.280 --> 00:02:14.000
Thank you so much.
00:02:14.080 --> 00:02:14.479
It's crazy.
00:02:14.560 --> 00:02:17.120
We met a few weeks ago, feel like we have known each other longer.
00:02:17.199 --> 00:02:20.000
We bonded over the paint color in your office for 20 minutes.
00:02:20.879 --> 00:02:22.639
For everybody watching, what did I say it was?
00:02:22.960 --> 00:02:26.400
It's uh uh Magnolia's the best paint color.
00:02:26.719 --> 00:02:28.639
Magnolia coffee nook, if I remember.
00:02:28.960 --> 00:02:32.080
And if anyone has ever remodeled a home, you know paint colors.
00:02:32.159 --> 00:02:36.560
So it's like a bluish, greenish, grayish, dark, it's on point.
00:02:36.639 --> 00:02:37.840
Yeah, white feet is good.
00:02:39.360 --> 00:02:40.400
Let's be very clear.
00:02:40.560 --> 00:02:41.680
I had nothing to do this year.
00:02:42.080 --> 00:02:43.039
I knew you didn't pick it.
00:02:43.120 --> 00:02:45.199
I was like, your wife did your office, right?
00:02:45.599 --> 00:02:46.400
100%.
00:02:47.199 --> 00:02:47.599
100%.
00:02:48.639 --> 00:02:49.520
Come on.
00:02:49.759 --> 00:02:51.120
So um well, good.
00:02:51.199 --> 00:03:11.759
Let's let's kind of jump in here because I the identity trap, I think, is just such a poignant um conversation, especially, you know, and I'll say that just our world is shifting, our society is shifting, the headlines, the noise, you know, I serve in the mortgage and and housing industry, and there's certainly a lot of headwinds in there.
00:03:12.000 --> 00:03:14.639
But there's just a lot of shift.
00:03:14.960 --> 00:03:18.240
And I think it's challenging, and it could get us stuck.
00:03:18.319 --> 00:03:26.639
And I think there's the identity trap is is in there and it can certainly challenge that, but maybe sort of help out like what is the identity trap?
00:03:26.879 --> 00:03:27.280
What is it?
00:03:27.360 --> 00:03:28.479
How do we even get into it?
00:03:28.719 --> 00:03:40.639
My feeling of it, my perspective after coaching for 15 years and going through it myself and seeing so many people go through it like you had, is we latch on to an identity that's not even ours when we're younger, right?
00:03:40.719 --> 00:03:42.240
It's what I talked about in my TEDx.
00:03:42.479 --> 00:03:48.639
I had the father who was like pushing me and money doesn't grow on trees, which I'm sure everyone who's listening has heard this.
00:03:48.719 --> 00:03:49.759
You know, you gotta work hard.
00:03:49.919 --> 00:03:52.319
You don't need to like what you do, just work, work, work.
00:03:52.479 --> 00:03:54.400
And then I was like, okay, I just need to be a hard worker.
00:03:54.479 --> 00:03:55.439
I need to get straight A's.
00:03:55.520 --> 00:04:01.439
And when I was working hard and when I was getting the good grades and getting the apple AIDS in my career, I was receiving love, right?
00:04:01.599 --> 00:04:07.680
And those things we we become attached to, our ego, it keeps us safe, secure, and validated and successful.
00:04:07.840 --> 00:04:12.560
And we get really attached to this identity that we never consciously chose.
00:04:12.879 --> 00:04:15.919
So for me, as I got older, I got into pharmaceutical sales.
00:04:16.000 --> 00:04:16.959
I was like, oh, this is great.
00:04:17.040 --> 00:04:22.399
This is what my dad said I was supposed to do, be this successful, you know, person in sales making money.
00:04:22.480 --> 00:04:23.439
And then I started to hate it.
00:04:23.519 --> 00:04:25.920
And I'm like, wait, and there's a then's there, tug, right?
00:04:26.000 --> 00:04:29.759
Well, I I think I thought my identity was this, but this doesn't feel like me anymore.
00:04:29.839 --> 00:04:31.839
And there's that push and pull back and forth.
00:04:31.920 --> 00:04:34.879
And then that happened to me in entrepreneurship, and we can get into that.
00:04:35.040 --> 00:04:44.319
But I really feel like it stems from things that teachers said, parents said, society says, and we it happens usually from the ages, you know, zero to 12, really, very young.
00:04:44.800 --> 00:04:46.000
Well, that the impressionable ages.
00:04:46.160 --> 00:04:48.480
And here's the other thing that I'm picking up, you know, right here.
00:04:48.800 --> 00:04:49.600
Tradition.
00:04:50.399 --> 00:04:51.680
This is the tradition.
00:04:51.920 --> 00:04:53.040
This is the road.
00:04:53.199 --> 00:04:55.839
You go to school, you go to college, you get a job.
00:04:56.000 --> 00:05:01.839
You know, it used to be with our parents who try to get a job and you're in that job for 25 years and you get a pension, all this other shit.
00:05:02.319 --> 00:05:04.480
Well, that doesn't exist anymore, right?
00:05:04.800 --> 00:05:05.120
Yeah.
00:05:05.360 --> 00:05:12.319
But in this shift, tradition, it's not tr it's not tradition anymore.
00:05:12.639 --> 00:05:14.079
People are breaking it.
00:05:14.240 --> 00:05:21.120
Now, compliments of social media, compliments of all the things going on, AI and all this stuff.
00:05:21.199 --> 00:05:28.639
And I don't want to go down that path per se, but the point is maybe tradition is not the right answer.
00:05:29.040 --> 00:05:29.839
Definitely not.
00:05:30.399 --> 00:05:39.759
And our identity being, especially when we have lineage, we have family, we have mothers and fathers, and you know, everyone, this is how you're supposed to do it.
00:05:39.839 --> 00:05:44.480
But maybe, maybe how you're supposed to do it is not what you're supposed to do.
00:05:44.720 --> 00:05:45.199
I agree.
00:05:45.279 --> 00:05:55.519
And I really believe people like you and me, and so many of the people we coach are here to break those generational curses that have been really they've been carried through by our parents and their parents.
00:05:55.600 --> 00:05:57.519
It's like now we're here to take a different stance.
00:05:57.680 --> 00:05:59.519
We create the life we really want to create.
00:05:59.600 --> 00:06:03.439
There's nothing wrong with people who aren't, you know, who aren't in the entrepreneurial world.
00:06:03.600 --> 00:06:06.000
That's fine, but that just wasn't for us.
00:06:06.079 --> 00:06:08.639
And we created a shift for our lives in a different way.
00:06:09.040 --> 00:06:15.279
And I think also parents these days are realizing, like, oh, I don't really need to force my kids to go to college and spend all that money.
00:06:15.360 --> 00:06:16.480
What about entrepreneurship?
00:06:16.560 --> 00:06:17.360
What about a trade school?
00:06:17.439 --> 00:06:18.319
What about different things?
00:06:18.480 --> 00:06:22.240
Whereas when we were growing up, it was like, do this, do this, do this, follow this path.
00:06:22.399 --> 00:06:26.399
I mean, yeah, my dad would say crazy things to me, like, well, you should be a cop because he was a New York City cop.
00:06:26.480 --> 00:06:27.759
You should be a cop, they get a great pension.
00:06:27.839 --> 00:06:29.279
I'm like, I don't want to be a cop.
00:06:29.519 --> 00:06:32.480
I don't force me to be a cop just because I get a great pension.
00:06:32.560 --> 00:06:35.839
So it was very revolved around for me the push to make more money.
00:06:35.920 --> 00:06:37.759
And that, you know, it's my dad's own trauma.
00:06:37.839 --> 00:06:39.600
He grew up very poor on the streets of Brooklyn.
00:06:39.680 --> 00:06:40.879
So he didn't want that for me.
00:06:41.040 --> 00:06:42.240
But then I took that on.
00:06:42.319 --> 00:06:48.160
And then I carried it with me into my 20s, into my 30s, that even still in my 40s, it's something I deal with, which I know a lot of people.
00:06:48.720 --> 00:06:49.199
Yeah.
00:06:49.519 --> 00:06:51.199
Well, and and I know that very well.
00:06:51.360 --> 00:06:56.560
I mean, you know, I mean, I often talk about, you know, one of my biggest fears in life was always, you know, losing my job, right?
00:06:56.639 --> 00:06:58.480
And I mean, because you've been so connected to that.
00:06:58.639 --> 00:07:04.000
And through the career, you know, in a in a great, wonderful career, uh, something I'm so proud of that fulfilled me.
00:07:04.079 --> 00:07:09.759
I mean, you know, obviously you have your ups and downs because you're in the mortgage business, but it can always be taken away.
00:07:10.000 --> 00:07:12.639
And my fear was always that it could be taken away.
00:07:12.800 --> 00:07:21.759
And I my identity became latched to who that was that external, you know, attachment into that identity.
00:07:22.000 --> 00:07:23.279
And then what happened one day?
00:07:23.439 --> 00:07:24.399
It was taken away.
00:07:24.560 --> 00:07:26.079
And then you're like, who am I?
00:07:26.319 --> 00:07:27.920
And that's exactly what happened.
00:07:28.160 --> 00:07:28.560
Who am I?
00:07:28.720 --> 00:07:32.720
And then there's the identity death because when that happened, so my story is a little similar but different.
00:07:32.800 --> 00:07:36.000
It was like when I decided to you said I was in the fitness industry, I was.
00:07:36.160 --> 00:07:38.079
And I built a really successful business there.
00:07:38.240 --> 00:07:40.160
And then I realized this isn't who I am.
00:07:40.319 --> 00:07:44.160
And when you realize, so yours got taken away, mine, I actually burned to the ground.
00:07:44.240 --> 00:07:45.600
I was like, this isn't who I am.
00:07:45.759 --> 00:07:47.120
Then we have a grieving period.
00:07:47.199 --> 00:07:49.759
And I don't believe that that grieving period is talked about enough.
00:07:50.000 --> 00:07:51.360
We grieve the loss of our pets.
00:07:51.439 --> 00:07:53.199
We grieve the loss of friends and loved ones.
00:07:53.279 --> 00:07:55.839
But what about the old version of ourselves?
00:07:55.920 --> 00:07:58.160
And when you lost that, that was taken away from you.
00:07:58.319 --> 00:08:00.079
You had no idea who you were.
00:08:00.319 --> 00:08:04.720
You probably didn't think, well, I need to grieve this before I even step into the new me, right?
00:08:04.879 --> 00:08:07.920
We try to rush into the next thing because we're high achievers, high producers.
00:08:08.000 --> 00:08:09.839
Oh, whatever, next, next, next.
00:08:09.920 --> 00:08:11.680
And then we get really lost.
00:08:12.399 --> 00:08:13.120
Well, exactly.
00:08:13.279 --> 00:08:15.600
And then I and and and I look back when this happened.
00:08:15.680 --> 00:08:18.319
It was four about four years ago, almost four years ago.
00:08:18.560 --> 00:08:25.839
And I actually look back and be like, my God, like if I was coaching myself and I wish I, I mean, I wish I had a coach like me.
00:08:25.920 --> 00:08:30.000
And that's how I try to present myself as a coach is someone I wish I had when I was in the chair.
00:08:30.079 --> 00:08:31.040
But you've been through it.
00:08:31.279 --> 00:08:33.120
I wish I took time to grieve.
00:08:33.279 --> 00:08:34.720
I went into panic.
00:08:34.960 --> 00:08:35.200
Panic.
00:08:35.519 --> 00:08:37.679
And then of course that put me into a bad place.
00:08:37.840 --> 00:08:37.919
Yeah.
00:08:38.240 --> 00:08:42.080
But talk talk about that a little bit because I think that really, really is important.
00:08:42.240 --> 00:08:48.720
And it doesn't have to be this huge monumental job law, whatever, but like things change, shift, happen.
00:08:49.279 --> 00:08:51.039
It could be getting out of a relationship.
00:08:51.120 --> 00:08:52.879
It can be changing jobs.
00:08:52.960 --> 00:08:55.440
It can be letting go of maybe one part of your identity.
00:08:55.519 --> 00:09:01.120
Like I have a lot of clients who are people pleasers, like letting go of that, like, yeah, like grieving this old version of you.
00:09:01.200 --> 00:09:06.320
And it's like this piece of you or that job you did, it took you to a certain level, right?
00:09:06.399 --> 00:09:10.960
Like God or source, whatever you believe in, put it into your world for a reason, right?
00:09:11.600 --> 00:09:14.559
And instead of, and this is what I did, I shamed myself.
00:09:14.720 --> 00:09:16.559
Instead of like shaming, that's what a lot of people do.
00:09:16.639 --> 00:09:17.279
I can't believe that happened.
00:09:17.360 --> 00:09:18.080
I can't believe I did that.
00:09:18.240 --> 00:09:19.120
How did I do for so long?
00:09:19.200 --> 00:09:20.080
I'm so mad at myself.
00:09:20.240 --> 00:09:24.080
Instead of shaming ourselves, let's step back and say, you know what?
00:09:24.240 --> 00:09:25.039
That served me.
00:09:25.200 --> 00:09:26.559
It got me to where I am.
00:09:26.799 --> 00:09:27.919
Thank you so much.
00:09:28.159 --> 00:09:29.039
Make peace with it.
00:09:29.200 --> 00:09:34.159
I actually wrote this version of me a letter, like put the letter, the little thing into the ocean.
00:09:34.240 --> 00:09:34.960
I was like, thank you.
00:09:35.120 --> 00:09:35.519
You know what?
00:09:35.679 --> 00:09:37.759
Like, thank you for getting me to where I am.
00:09:37.919 --> 00:09:41.200
But that took some time to get there because at first I was like angry, I was mad at myself.
00:09:41.279 --> 00:09:45.759
I was like, you stayed in this industry so long, now you hate it, now you're miserable, now your business is falling apart.
00:09:46.000 --> 00:09:55.840
A lot of things happened there, but just actually saying thank you, making peace with them, that version of you, with those pieces of you, or the old job that you got out of, and saying, you know what, thank you for getting me here.
00:09:56.080 --> 00:09:58.399
For more of a place of gratitude instead of shame.
00:09:59.120 --> 00:09:59.919
I love that.
00:10:00.080 --> 00:10:03.919
It is so powerful because that identity trap, that identity break.
00:10:04.000 --> 00:10:07.440
And you're right, because you you have a relationship with that.
00:10:07.600 --> 00:10:14.240
That's you know, even like if you think about victims and people with chronic stress, and sometimes they can't let go of being a victim.
00:10:14.320 --> 00:10:17.440
They can't let go of the stress because they haven't developed a relationship with it.
00:10:18.000 --> 00:10:19.200
Their nervous system likes it.
00:10:19.440 --> 00:10:19.759
Yeah.
00:10:19.919 --> 00:10:26.480
Their nervous system is actually accustomed to that fight or flight, and that's what happens when you live in, you know, I do a lot of nervous system stuff with my clients.
00:10:26.639 --> 00:10:30.320
When your body is used to the fight or flight, the go, this toxic relationship.
00:10:30.399 --> 00:10:35.360
When you try to get out of it, it feels so uncomfortable because they're so feels like not improductive.
00:10:35.519 --> 00:10:36.080
Exactly.
00:10:36.399 --> 00:10:41.039
I remember that when when I first launched my coaching, I was like, How come I don't have a thousand emails today?
00:10:41.120 --> 00:10:42.639
Like, is something wrong?
00:10:42.960 --> 00:10:43.759
Oh, it's wrong.
00:10:44.080 --> 00:10:44.480
Yeah, right.
00:10:44.799 --> 00:10:45.759
Am I not doing my job?
00:10:45.919 --> 00:10:48.399
I'm like, wait, no, wait, we can be very effective this way.
00:10:48.639 --> 00:10:48.799
Right.
00:10:48.960 --> 00:10:56.879
Typical high achiever nervous system, like the they're used to operating a fight or flight that when they take a second to step back, to rest, to think, to breathe, they're like, something's wrong.
00:10:56.960 --> 00:10:57.840
My emails aren't going off.
00:10:57.919 --> 00:10:58.320
Oh my gosh.
00:10:58.399 --> 00:11:00.000
It's like it's okay, it's gonna be okay.
00:11:00.159 --> 00:11:02.240
And especially in business when I'd recognize that.
00:11:02.559 --> 00:11:12.000
Maybe not even, I'm sure with me, too, of course, with me, I'm who am I saying, but with others, then you start noticing you start asserting yourself in other people's business to try to feel busy again.
00:11:12.879 --> 00:11:12.960
Right.
00:11:13.120 --> 00:11:14.399
And that then again, there's a whole thing.
00:11:14.480 --> 00:11:17.120
Okay, so I'm gonna come back to, you know, we're in this identity trap.
00:11:17.360 --> 00:11:19.759
Identity has shifted for whatever reason.
00:11:19.840 --> 00:11:23.440
And again, it doesn't have to be big, small matters.
00:11:23.679 --> 00:11:28.960
It's very so the first thing that you're talking about in this identity trap is we have to grieve.
00:11:29.039 --> 00:11:31.360
We have to let ourselves grieve, we have to heal.
00:11:31.519 --> 00:11:34.399
Approach it with gratitude, not shame.
00:11:34.639 --> 00:11:35.440
Yeah, yes.
00:11:35.840 --> 00:11:38.080
Yeah, and I've yeah, so powerful.
00:11:38.159 --> 00:11:40.399
And and I teach four phases of identity.
00:11:40.480 --> 00:11:44.639
So it's awareness, radical acceptance, embodiment, and mastery.
00:11:44.799 --> 00:11:49.919
So do know for your listeners that true identity change, research shows, can take two to five years.
00:11:50.159 --> 00:12:00.240
So if you're going through something, if you left a job, if you left a relationship, if you're getting rid of your people-pleasing tendencies or whatever it may be, give yourself the grace, the space, and the time.
00:12:01.759 --> 00:12:06.080
That is a big thing that I always used to talk about too, coming from the holistic health and fitness industry.
00:12:06.799 --> 00:12:08.799
People want to change their bodies in a few short months.
00:12:08.879 --> 00:12:11.600
It didn't take you a few short months to build these habits, right?
00:12:11.759 --> 00:12:13.039
It's the same thing with identity.
00:12:13.120 --> 00:12:19.039
You've been living in certain behaviors and patterns and stories and thought processes about yourself since you are young.
00:12:19.200 --> 00:12:22.000
And now you're in your 30s or 40s or 50s and you want to shift.
00:12:22.080 --> 00:12:26.159
It's gonna take time to deprogram and then reprogram.
00:12:26.639 --> 00:12:29.200
Okay, so two to four, two to five years, you said.
00:12:29.679 --> 00:12:30.000
Okay.
00:12:30.240 --> 00:12:31.679
Um, I'm in, right?
00:12:31.759 --> 00:12:33.600
I I'm hey, like I said, I'm four years in.
00:12:33.679 --> 00:12:35.200
All right, I'm I'm your case study here.
00:12:35.360 --> 00:12:36.320
Big shift.
00:12:36.559 --> 00:12:41.440
Um how do we continue going through that two to five year period?
00:12:41.519 --> 00:12:46.240
Because obviously we have to, we have to address this sometimes on a daily basis.
00:12:46.480 --> 00:12:49.919
And that goes from daily to maybe weekly and or beyond.
00:12:50.080 --> 00:12:57.840
But like, how do you keep the mindset right through this process of this identity shift that doesn't happen overnight?
00:12:58.080 --> 00:13:03.840
Yeah, I look at it almost like going to the gym, you know, the nervous system work, the mindset work, the identity work.
00:13:04.000 --> 00:13:08.639
You go to the gym, what, four to five times, you know, or three to five times a week, depending on on who you are.
00:13:08.799 --> 00:13:12.559
And it's something you're gonna do, you're gonna exercise for the rest of your life to keep yourself healthy.
00:13:12.720 --> 00:13:17.519
I believe identity work, mindset work, nervous system work is something you do day in and day out.
00:13:17.679 --> 00:13:24.559
Maybe there's some days where you're deeper in it, you're in a deep meditation, you're doing some type of, you know, inner child work and it goes really deep.
00:13:24.639 --> 00:13:27.519
And maybe other days it's just a few journaling prompts or a little bit of gratitude.
00:13:27.600 --> 00:13:29.120
It really varies per day.
00:13:29.279 --> 00:13:32.399
I, you know, I still work with a coach, my clients work with me through it.
00:13:32.559 --> 00:13:37.519
So having people guide you through, depending where you are, because there's gonna be certain points where it's really uncomfortable.
00:13:37.679 --> 00:13:44.000
And your ego is always going to want to pull you back to what's safe, secure, keeps you validated and familiar.
00:13:44.159 --> 00:13:52.639
And what our nervous system does when we sense, when we feel uncertainty, we think it's danger and we want to run, or uncertainty is where the growth happens.
00:13:52.799 --> 00:13:58.720
So I would say as you're going through that identity shifts, you're gonna feel moment of moments of uncertainty and just lean into it.
00:13:58.799 --> 00:13:59.600
You're gonna feel fear.
00:13:59.679 --> 00:14:02.639
We, you and I, we had fear through throughout our whole entire journey.
00:14:02.879 --> 00:14:06.080
We're not, of course, but we just leaned in and brought it with us.
00:14:06.159 --> 00:14:11.679
So know that those things are gonna come up and that, you know, some days you may feel great and other days maybe not, but that's part of growth.
00:14:11.759 --> 00:14:13.919
It's a roller coaster like entrepreneurship.
00:14:14.240 --> 00:14:14.480
Yeah.
00:14:14.639 --> 00:14:18.720
Well, and I want to energize a couple of things you're saying because again, like you're speaking my language here, right?
00:14:18.799 --> 00:14:21.200
And you know, I always joke around like I'm Jewish.
00:14:21.279 --> 00:14:26.000
Man, I got fear, worry, and anxiety in my DNA for five years, I got 5,000 years of that in my DNS.
00:14:26.080 --> 00:14:26.240
Yes.
00:14:26.879 --> 00:14:28.720
So I face that, you know, every day.
00:14:28.799 --> 00:14:29.919
And I coach this stuff, right?
00:14:30.000 --> 00:14:31.360
So it might always kind of joke.
00:14:31.440 --> 00:14:33.759
Like, I'm not only the president, I'm also a member.
00:14:34.000 --> 00:14:36.159
But here's what I want to energize in what you're just saying.
00:14:36.240 --> 00:14:42.399
So not only do we have to create a conscious awareness to get our mindset triggered that, okay, I'm gonna approach this identity shift.
00:14:42.559 --> 00:14:43.279
Something happened.
00:14:43.440 --> 00:14:44.480
Now something's changing.
00:14:44.559 --> 00:14:55.919
So this is really also about change, with gratitude, not shame, with abundance, not scarcity, with with a go forward approach, not a lost something approach.
00:14:56.240 --> 00:14:58.000
Now we don't have being open.
00:14:58.799 --> 00:14:59.279
Say it again.
00:14:59.600 --> 00:15:06.879
Being open to the change, you know, not like like letting it go and being open to what's next instead of like holding on tightly to those pieces of you.
00:15:07.039 --> 00:15:07.279
Yeah.
00:15:07.519 --> 00:15:07.840
Exactly.
00:15:08.000 --> 00:15:08.799
Being open to change.
00:15:08.960 --> 00:15:12.159
Now I talk about something I call thriving the gap.
00:15:12.240 --> 00:15:17.519
Because what happens sometimes when we this shift happens, again, big or small, we find ourselves in a gap.
00:15:17.679 --> 00:15:20.559
And what I say is, you know, number one, just acknowledge you're in a gap.
00:15:20.639 --> 00:15:21.039
That's it.
00:15:21.200 --> 00:15:22.159
Just acknowledge it.
00:15:22.240 --> 00:15:22.960
It's okay.
00:15:23.120 --> 00:15:23.440
Yeah.
00:15:23.679 --> 00:15:26.559
Number two, and this is the most important thing.
00:15:27.039 --> 00:15:31.360
Give yourself permission that you don't know all the answers.
00:15:32.000 --> 00:15:38.639
And that permission releases our brain to allow new information to come in, which is then step three.
00:15:38.720 --> 00:15:40.000
Now go seek information.
00:15:40.320 --> 00:15:41.440
Be curious.
00:15:42.240 --> 00:15:42.559
Yeah.
00:15:42.799 --> 00:15:46.480
And this isn't a roadmap like you arrive at you arrive.
00:15:46.559 --> 00:15:48.159
This is a journey to your point.
00:15:48.639 --> 00:15:48.960
Yeah.
00:15:49.200 --> 00:16:02.000
So the other thing that you were saying that I really want to validate and energize is when these triggers happen, when our brain, and by the way, I always talk about our brain as a third person, because our brain is not always working on our behalf.
00:16:02.080 --> 00:16:07.600
Our brain wants to be safe and warm by the fire, but I can't go feed my family if I'm safe and warm by the fire.
00:16:07.679 --> 00:16:08.480
I gotta go out and hunt.
00:16:08.559 --> 00:16:13.279
We got saved to tigers out there, which is our stress, waiting to kill us, i.e., our goal.
00:16:13.679 --> 00:16:20.399
But when we recognize these fears or these anxieties or our brain saying, hey, don't go be an entrepreneur, get back into that W 2 job, right?
00:16:20.480 --> 00:16:22.320
Which is things that I face sometimes.
00:16:23.120 --> 00:16:26.559
That's a trigger to say, no, no, no, that's that's where's that coming from?
00:16:26.720 --> 00:16:27.200
To teach it.
00:16:27.360 --> 00:16:30.399
And that's a trigger to say, lean, keep leaning in, keep going forward.
00:16:30.879 --> 00:16:31.679
Get curious.
00:16:31.840 --> 00:16:33.279
Like you said, get curious.
00:16:33.519 --> 00:16:37.919
Another thing you said release, and that reminded me of, you know, the gap, the book, The Gap of the Gain is so good.
00:16:38.000 --> 00:16:38.320
I talk about.
00:16:38.399 --> 00:16:39.360
I'll I'll call my clients out.
00:16:39.440 --> 00:16:48.879
I'm like, you're living in the gap, you're not looking at what you gained, because so often, you know, high achievers, high performers, I want to look at, well, I haven't achieved this, and I'm not here, and I should have made more by now, and I should be at the top of the mountain.
00:16:49.039 --> 00:16:50.879
Like, but look at all the things you've accomplished.
00:16:51.120 --> 00:16:58.399
The other thing I remind my clients when they're going through these identity shifts, because it can be really hard, is let's look at some stacked evidence of all the things you've accomplished.
00:16:58.480 --> 00:17:06.240
Because they can start to get down on themselves, especially if you're like what I was going through, or you like shifting careers where you were so successful one, then you're almost really starting over.
00:17:06.480 --> 00:17:13.119
So I'm like, you created a lot of success in so many areas of your life, whether it's personal, professional, like let's stack the evidence.
00:17:13.200 --> 00:17:18.319
And stacking the evidence really allows them and us to say, okay, wow, I have done a lot.
00:17:18.480 --> 00:17:19.599
I am really great at this.
00:17:19.759 --> 00:17:29.519
I'm shifting, but like just a reminder that you're still with all these accolades, you're still really an amazing person and you've done a lot of things because we can forget when we're in that identity.
00:17:30.319 --> 00:17:30.400
Yeah.
00:17:30.640 --> 00:17:33.759
Well, and stacking the evidence you said stacking the evidence.
00:17:34.160 --> 00:17:34.319
Yeah.
00:17:34.559 --> 00:17:36.720
I mean, and celebrate your little wins every day.
00:17:36.880 --> 00:17:43.279
I mean, you know, as along this road, I mean, that's what I, you know, coach toward because you're rewarding that habit loop in your brain.
00:17:43.359 --> 00:17:45.680
Your brain's gonna want to keep seeking that reward.
00:17:45.839 --> 00:17:51.440
And if you acknowledge that you you did this, you did this, measure backwards to your point, gap in the game.
00:17:51.599 --> 00:17:54.400
We all highly, highly, highly, highly recommend that book.
00:17:54.480 --> 00:17:55.119
Yeah.
00:17:55.440 --> 00:17:57.519
But you're creating an abundant mindset that way.
00:17:57.599 --> 00:17:58.799
And that's one of those triggers.
00:17:58.880 --> 00:18:08.559
If you're stacking the evidence, stacking the wins, creating that abundant mindset, that's the fire extinguisher to that little guy on your shoulder saying, no, no, we've got to go play it safe.
00:18:08.720 --> 00:18:09.119
Yeah, yeah.
00:18:09.440 --> 00:18:10.880
You're MG Danger, yeah.
00:18:10.960 --> 00:18:14.880
That's why stacking those wins helps with the, you know, combat that little little ego.
00:18:15.119 --> 00:18:15.359
Yeah.
00:18:15.440 --> 00:18:18.079
And that it because again, our brains are not always working on our behalf.
00:18:18.160 --> 00:18:19.359
Now, I heard a um quote.
00:18:19.440 --> 00:18:23.680
So I was just at the uh forward mastermind group, or sorry, the the the forward event in Las Vegas.
00:18:25.200 --> 00:18:25.759
It looks amazing.
00:18:25.920 --> 00:18:26.480
You have to go.
00:18:26.559 --> 00:18:28.799
And big shout out to Neil Dingra forward event.
00:18:28.880 --> 00:18:30.480
I just joined their mastermind group myself.
00:18:30.640 --> 00:18:32.319
Like I'm really, really excited about all this.
00:18:32.480 --> 00:18:32.880
Yeah.
00:18:33.119 --> 00:18:36.160
And, you know, and I'm doing it to help break my glass to you, right?
00:18:36.240 --> 00:18:38.319
I mean, again, I'm not really present I'm also a member.
00:18:38.400 --> 00:18:56.640
And so, you know, seeking this out and um and leaning into this identity of who I am, not this external thing, but for me to further connect what I'm passionate about, which is helping people make shift happen, i.e., the podcast talk and shift, these conversations.
00:18:56.799 --> 00:19:01.839
So that's why I love this identity because I think it does not get enough attention.
00:19:02.079 --> 00:19:02.559
Yeah.
00:19:02.799 --> 00:19:04.880
And we don't really understand it fully.
00:19:04.960 --> 00:19:05.119
Yeah.
00:19:05.279 --> 00:19:07.759
Until they've heard like they need to listen to something like this.
00:19:07.920 --> 00:19:12.720
Because if I if I just post like about identity shift, it doesn't always land.
00:19:12.799 --> 00:19:13.599
You have to go deeper.
00:19:13.680 --> 00:19:15.119
It's a deeper topic for sure.
00:19:15.359 --> 00:19:16.160
It's a deeper topic.
00:19:16.240 --> 00:19:20.000
It connects into shift, it connects into change, but also it doesn't have to come out something negative.
00:19:20.079 --> 00:19:27.200
It can also, I mean, and it should, hey, I want, not need, but want to make a change in my life.
00:19:27.359 --> 00:19:27.599
Totally.
00:19:27.839 --> 00:19:29.839
And I'll use identity as great.
00:19:30.000 --> 00:19:31.440
Let's start there.
00:19:31.759 --> 00:19:39.440
Because I believe in time travel, and part of time travel being we can step into our ideal future, but it starts with shifting our identity.
00:19:39.680 --> 00:19:40.720
I am, you know.
00:19:41.039 --> 00:19:41.680
I am, right?
00:19:41.759 --> 00:19:47.839
So, and it's the same, I also view it the same thing with people who come to me who are really dysregulated in their nervous system.
00:19:48.640 --> 00:19:57.200
We can't, I just can't slap on meditation and breath work without really taking a look at their identity and who they believe they are and why they're acting a certain way.
00:19:57.359 --> 00:19:58.880
Then we could add in the tools, right?
00:19:58.960 --> 00:20:00.000
Because it's the I am.
00:20:00.160 --> 00:20:01.440
Why are you doing what you're doing?
00:20:01.599 --> 00:20:03.359
Why are you behaving this way in the first place?
00:20:03.599 --> 00:20:05.359
So let's go back to what you're talking about earlier.
00:20:05.440 --> 00:20:08.400
So share us up, share with us more about your journey, right?
00:20:08.480 --> 00:20:10.960
I mean, I under before me getting it back to you.
00:20:11.119 --> 00:20:13.279
Give us a little bit more of your backstory and how we got here.
00:20:14.079 --> 00:20:14.480
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:20:15.200 --> 00:20:15.759
Long Island.
00:20:17.039 --> 00:20:19.200
Long Island, New York is where I'm originally from.
00:20:19.440 --> 00:20:32.559
Like I said, graduated college, pharmaceutical sales, was great until it wasn't, gained 40 pounds, became very miserable and unfulfilled doing it, and really out of alignment in the pharmaceutical industry as well, because I'm very holistic in the way I approached health, but I was making great money.
00:20:32.720 --> 00:20:33.680
So why would I leave?
00:20:33.759 --> 00:20:33.920
Right.
00:20:34.079 --> 00:20:36.960
I was, you know, in my upper 20s making high six figures.
00:20:37.039 --> 00:20:37.759
I was like, this is great.
00:20:37.920 --> 00:20:43.200
Until one day after the weight gain and look at myself in the mirror, feeling unfulfilled, I was like, this is not for me anymore.
00:20:43.359 --> 00:20:45.119
I got a coach to help me lose the weight.
00:20:45.279 --> 00:20:47.200
I became really passionate about health and fitness.
00:20:47.279 --> 00:20:52.799
And I was like, I'm moving to California, F New York, Hurricane Sandy had just destroyed the town I lived in.
00:20:52.880 --> 00:20:55.039
I was like, and I hate the cold because I'm tan.
00:20:55.119 --> 00:20:56.640
I like I live in Maui, Hawaii now.
00:20:56.720 --> 00:20:56.799
Okay.
00:20:57.039 --> 00:20:58.240
So I'm like, I love the warm weather.
00:20:58.480 --> 00:21:00.240
Moved to California, no job lined up.
00:21:00.319 --> 00:21:01.359
So talk about fear.
00:21:01.519 --> 00:21:03.279
My my parents saying I was crazy.
00:21:03.359 --> 00:21:04.559
My friends, like, what are you doing?
00:21:04.640 --> 00:21:06.160
How could you leave this great job?
00:21:06.400 --> 00:21:09.440
When to go work at Equinox Gym to make$14 an hour.
00:21:09.599 --> 00:21:14.079
So from multiple six figures to$14 an hour because I was passionate and I just believed.
00:21:14.160 --> 00:21:20.640
So the most important thing, and and really all these conversations and talking about manifestation and abundance and identity is a belief in yourself.
00:21:20.799 --> 00:21:29.039
And so I have the word tenacity tattooed on me because I just have this strong, strong belief that whatever I put my energy towards, if I'm passionate about it, I'm gonna become successful.
00:21:29.200 --> 00:21:35.119
So I was willing to take that pay cut, worked my way up in the gym, and then I was like, okay, there's more to me than just like telling people how to work out.
00:21:35.200 --> 00:21:41.279
I knew I had something in me to coach people, but back then, like coaching wasn't really a thing, like the way we're doing it.
00:21:41.359 --> 00:21:42.400
I didn't even know what it was called.
00:21:42.480 --> 00:21:46.480
I was like, I'm like helping people with their life and their businesses while I'm personally training them.
00:21:46.559 --> 00:21:47.200
What's going on here?
00:21:47.279 --> 00:21:48.160
Should I be a therapist?
00:21:48.319 --> 00:21:50.240
Like, I didn't kind of know what to do.
00:21:50.480 --> 00:21:53.680
Shifted the business online, stuck with holistic health coaching.
00:21:53.759 --> 00:21:59.519
And then really in the last two years, I was like, I don't really um have the desire to help people with their weight loss anymore.
00:21:59.599 --> 00:22:01.440
I've Believe the body is a conduit.
00:22:01.599 --> 00:22:08.799
I believe wellness is very important, especially as entrepreneurs, business owners, founders, because a burnt out body equals a burnt out business.
00:22:08.960 --> 00:22:17.359
However, I found myself doing things deeper, like this whole conversation you and I have talked about, the identity trap, identity, mindset, nervous system, meditation.
00:22:17.440 --> 00:22:23.200
And I'm like, okay, this is the direction, which is really it's a combination of like high performance, leadership, executive coaching.
00:22:23.359 --> 00:22:25.039
And that's how that's where I am today.
00:22:25.200 --> 00:22:27.039
And people are like, how'd you get to Maui?
00:22:27.279 --> 00:22:31.119
My husband and I visited many times from California, and we said, why not live here?
00:22:31.279 --> 00:22:35.279
Once your business is online, as you know, you can kind of live anywhere in the world, so why not Maui?
00:22:36.079 --> 00:22:36.880
Well, I love it.
00:22:36.960 --> 00:22:39.359
And I mean, well, and why not?
00:22:40.559 --> 00:22:41.119
Why not?
00:22:41.279 --> 00:22:46.240
I I love the way I keep telling my wife, just just just let me know and we'll sell everything to Portugal.
00:22:46.319 --> 00:22:47.440
You know, that's why not.
00:22:47.599 --> 00:22:48.079
Like, why not?
00:22:48.240 --> 00:22:48.480
Literally.
00:22:48.559 --> 00:22:52.559
I would live in Italy if the time difference wasn't so crazy with our clients, but like, why not?
00:22:52.720 --> 00:22:52.880
Right.
00:22:53.119 --> 00:22:54.000
Yeah, exactly.
00:22:54.240 --> 00:22:58.559
Okay, so you've been taking a promotive approach into your identity shift.
00:22:58.799 --> 00:23:04.079
And that is something that I mean, I like I always wanted to be an entrepreneur.
00:23:04.240 --> 00:23:09.680
I think a lot of people, when you have a W-2 job, you know, a lot of people also like, I would love to be an entrepreneur one day, you know.
00:23:09.839 --> 00:23:15.359
And but I never would have, well, where I was, I never would have resigned from my job.
00:23:15.519 --> 00:23:16.720
I wanted to do this.
00:23:16.880 --> 00:23:21.920
I always wanted executive coaching, you know, podcasts, being an author, all these different things.
00:23:22.160 --> 00:23:26.960
I always believed this was a life after mortgage plan for me.
00:23:27.119 --> 00:23:29.359
Yeah, I just thought that'd be later in life, not now.
00:23:29.519 --> 00:23:29.680
Right?
00:23:29.759 --> 00:23:31.839
That decision was made for me, not soon.
00:23:32.720 --> 00:23:32.960
Yeah.
00:23:33.200 --> 00:23:34.799
I didn't even know I wanted to be an entrepreneur.
00:23:34.880 --> 00:23:36.640
I truly didn't even know what an entrepreneur was.
00:23:36.720 --> 00:23:39.519
One of my personal training clients, she's like, I think you should be an entrepreneur.
00:23:39.599 --> 00:23:40.559
I'm like, a what?
00:23:41.599 --> 00:23:42.240
A what?
00:23:42.400 --> 00:23:42.960
I had no idea.
00:23:43.119 --> 00:23:45.519
She's like, let alone do it.
00:23:45.680 --> 00:23:46.000
Literally.
00:23:46.079 --> 00:23:48.000
And then she told me to go to a Tony Robbins event.
00:23:48.079 --> 00:23:51.200
I went to a Tony Robbins event, walked on the fire, and I was like, that's it.
00:23:51.359 --> 00:23:52.079
Leave in the gym.
00:23:52.160 --> 00:23:52.640
Here we go.
00:23:52.720 --> 00:23:53.519
Here we go.
00:23:53.839 --> 00:23:54.720
Burning the boats.
00:23:55.519 --> 00:23:56.160
But tell me about that.
00:23:56.240 --> 00:23:58.160
Because again, you you did this in a promotive way.
00:23:58.240 --> 00:23:59.440
You took this risk.
00:23:59.599 --> 00:24:01.119
Where is that coming from?
00:24:01.359 --> 00:24:02.720
I mean, how did you get yourself?
00:24:02.960 --> 00:24:07.119
I mean, is it literally do you just have that fire and you're able to snap and make that decision?
00:24:07.359 --> 00:24:12.000
Tell me a little bit about what gave you the strength to take that risk and make those decisions.
00:24:12.240 --> 00:24:13.920
I'm an Aries and I'm a generator.
00:24:14.079 --> 00:24:15.200
So that is part of the qualities.
00:24:15.519 --> 00:24:20.079
Aries have a lot of fire, a lot of passion, and they do make impulsive moves very quickly.
00:24:20.240 --> 00:24:22.480
Uh, which obviously impulsive means very quickly.
00:24:22.559 --> 00:24:23.680
So impulsive moves.
00:24:23.839 --> 00:24:28.000
And then the generator is like I like to work, I like to move, I like to produce.
00:24:28.160 --> 00:24:32.079
And then with the taking the risk, you know, growing up, I was overweight.
00:24:32.160 --> 00:24:32.960
I had acne.
00:24:33.039 --> 00:24:33.759
I was suicidal.
00:24:33.839 --> 00:24:34.640
I hated myself.
00:24:34.799 --> 00:24:40.400
And then once I went through that weight loss journey, I believe I proved something to myself.
00:24:40.559 --> 00:24:42.720
Like, wow, you can do anything you want to do.
00:24:42.880 --> 00:24:44.480
So start, it did start with my body.
00:24:44.559 --> 00:24:45.519
And I give credit to that.
00:24:45.680 --> 00:24:50.880
My first fitness coach, George, who installed in my head, like I was like struggling to lift three pound weights.
00:24:50.960 --> 00:24:51.839
That's how weak I was.
00:24:51.920 --> 00:24:52.880
And I was very overweight.
00:24:52.960 --> 00:24:54.960
And he was like, come on, you can do this, you can do this.
00:24:55.039 --> 00:24:58.799
And just over time, I was like, well, if I could do that, I can do other things.
00:24:58.960 --> 00:25:05.680
If I could lose the 40 pounds, which I thought I'd never be able to do as someone who's basically overweight their whole life, I was like, oh, I can do this.
00:25:05.759 --> 00:25:11.440
And then I just when I lock in on something and I'm really passionate about it, I just go for it.
00:25:11.599 --> 00:25:16.960
And I I'm a bit of a risk taker, which some of the risks have paid off and some have not.
00:25:19.200 --> 00:25:20.400
Well, and what's so impressive too.
00:25:20.480 --> 00:25:22.400
And again, I want everyone to really pick up on this.
00:25:22.640 --> 00:25:28.480
When you went through your waste loss, your weight loss journey, you had that success and you had that win, and you realized, you know what, I did it.
00:25:28.640 --> 00:25:30.160
This is something that's really, really important.
00:25:30.240 --> 00:25:36.240
Again, and I'll I'll reference back to the gap in the game because we want to always measure backwards, not measure towards, you know, the horizon.
00:25:36.319 --> 00:25:37.839
We're always chasing a horizon otherwise.
00:25:38.480 --> 00:25:39.440
But here's my point.
00:25:39.599 --> 00:25:49.200
No matter what the change is, whether it happens for you or whether you're making the decision, big or small, I'm just trying to pre-qualify fear, anxiety, worry, all the things.
00:25:49.359 --> 00:25:50.240
It's all there.
00:25:50.400 --> 00:25:51.759
Nothing is being compared.
00:25:51.839 --> 00:25:54.240
But here's my point: you've been there before.
00:25:54.480 --> 00:26:00.400
Maybe you haven't gone down this specific road, but you have accomplished a goal before.
00:26:00.640 --> 00:26:02.559
You have made a change before.
00:26:02.799 --> 00:26:06.400
You have done that, you've been here before.
00:26:06.640 --> 00:26:14.880
So when I talk about fear versus confidence, you know, confidence, and what I always say is confidence is not in the future.
00:26:15.039 --> 00:26:16.480
Confidence comes from your past.
00:26:16.559 --> 00:26:17.519
You've been here before.
00:26:17.680 --> 00:26:21.519
Your brain says, I can generally predict an outcome.
00:26:21.599 --> 00:26:22.559
So therefore, I feel safe.
00:26:22.640 --> 00:26:24.400
Therefore, I'm going to give you a little bit of confidence.
00:26:24.640 --> 00:26:31.279
When your brain is coming from a position of uncertainty, I don't know what down that trail could be a saber-tooth tiger.
00:26:31.440 --> 00:26:35.599
I better give you fear because I'm trying to keep you safe and warm by the fire.
00:26:36.000 --> 00:26:41.279
So when we, and you're not losing confidence, you may have just misplaced it.
00:26:41.759 --> 00:26:41.920
Yeah.
00:26:42.240 --> 00:26:48.640
When my when I lost my job because the company shut down, I lost all my confidence.
00:26:48.720 --> 00:26:52.720
I remember sitting on this couch right here going, What the fuck am I doing with my life?
00:26:52.880 --> 00:26:54.319
What is my value?
00:26:54.480 --> 00:26:55.680
What do I do?
00:26:56.720 --> 00:27:00.559
And anybody looking in going, like, dude, you just had you had an amazing career.
00:27:00.720 --> 00:27:02.079
You can continue doing that.
00:27:02.240 --> 00:27:04.799
Like, what how could you be questioning your value?
00:27:05.039 --> 00:27:06.720
It was completely lost.
00:27:07.039 --> 00:27:08.480
But I had to pull back on that.
00:27:08.640 --> 00:27:12.720
I had to go back and realize I love being a leader.
00:27:12.960 --> 00:27:16.160
I am passionate at helping people succeed.
00:27:16.240 --> 00:27:21.519
That has what has always been my success is being able to help other people succeed.
00:27:22.079 --> 00:27:23.440
That's what got me up.
00:27:24.000 --> 00:27:25.039
Just finding that again.
00:27:25.119 --> 00:27:27.039
And then my confidence came back with it.
00:27:27.200 --> 00:27:30.240
It wasn't lost, it was just misplaced.
00:27:30.559 --> 00:27:31.039
Misplaced.
00:27:31.200 --> 00:27:31.440
Yep.
00:27:31.599 --> 00:27:31.759
Yeah.
00:27:32.079 --> 00:27:37.039
You also probably realized in those moments, too, how much you were attached to the W-2.
00:27:37.359 --> 00:27:39.920
That piece of your identity that was like clinging to the W-2.
00:27:40.160 --> 00:27:43.200
And then you realize, okay, that does not need to be part of who I am.
00:27:43.279 --> 00:27:44.799
I am who I am outside of that.
00:27:44.960 --> 00:27:45.680
I am a leader.
00:27:45.759 --> 00:27:46.400
I'm a coach.
00:27:46.480 --> 00:27:47.680
I'm I'm great at these things.
00:27:47.759 --> 00:27:48.880
And you had to separate yourself.
00:27:48.960 --> 00:27:51.680
But that takes some time when you've been doing something for so long.
00:27:51.920 --> 00:27:54.240
It really becomes ingrained in you.
00:27:54.480 --> 00:27:54.880
100%.
00:27:55.519 --> 00:27:56.799
Brain relationship.
00:27:56.960 --> 00:27:57.440
This is new.
00:27:57.599 --> 00:27:58.319
New is scary.
00:27:58.400 --> 00:28:03.200
But when I when you pull on, I've been here before, we might just need to label it differently.
00:28:03.519 --> 00:28:04.079
Right, exactly.
00:28:04.319 --> 00:28:05.519
And yeah, and then complicated.
00:28:06.480 --> 00:28:07.440
Stacking evidence.
00:28:07.519 --> 00:28:08.640
Yeah, exactly.
00:28:08.880 --> 00:28:10.160
I stacking the evidence.
00:28:10.240 --> 00:28:12.160
And so it's just such an important subject.
00:28:12.240 --> 00:28:18.480
So again, everybody listening, your identity, coming back to your identity, don't make it a trap, don't make it a gap.
00:28:18.640 --> 00:28:20.160
Make it purposeful, right?
00:28:20.319 --> 00:28:20.880
Make it purposeful.
00:28:21.039 --> 00:28:21.599
Don't make it a trap.
00:28:21.680 --> 00:28:22.240
Don't make it a gap.
00:28:22.400 --> 00:28:22.880
Love that.
00:28:24.000 --> 00:28:42.240
Okay, so um, so you burn the boats, you left, you left pharmaceutical sales, nice W-2 job, you start um coaching, um, you start realizing, you know, your body's here, but it's really starts, you know, also up in here, and you know, I'm pointing to, you know, the mindset, the brain, that sort of thing for those of you listening.
00:28:42.559 --> 00:28:47.200
Um and then all of a sudden you you walk on some fire and realize, all right, fuck it.
00:28:47.279 --> 00:28:49.839
I'm going, I'm gonna be an entrepreneur and I'm gonna start my own thing.
00:28:50.000 --> 00:28:50.319
Yeah.
00:28:50.720 --> 00:28:52.240
How do you shift your identity from there?
00:28:52.480 --> 00:28:56.240
I also read the book You Are a Badass, which is very powerful.
00:28:56.319 --> 00:28:59.839
And she just it like, first of all, Jen Sincero is freaking hilarious.
00:29:00.000 --> 00:29:06.799
And just the way she writes that book, kind of just like calling you to rise up, get off your ass, do what you want to do, stop being a victim.
00:29:06.880 --> 00:29:09.200
I was like, yeah, I don't have to be stuck in the gym.
00:29:09.359 --> 00:29:10.000
Like, what is this?
00:29:10.160 --> 00:29:14.319
And I just realized, like, and then I think I saw an ad for like being online coach.
00:29:14.400 --> 00:29:15.200
I was like, what's this?
00:29:15.359 --> 00:29:19.839
Clicked in, hired a coach because I had no idea how to build an online business.
00:29:20.000 --> 00:29:28.640
And I just, I went all in and, you know, had a 5k month, a 10k month, a 20k month, 50, 60, 80, and beyond, and just kept building, building, building.
00:29:28.880 --> 00:29:42.319
Really became well known in like the fitness, nutrition, perimenopause, you know, because that's my age uh industry, did really well, and then burned down the boats again because I felt unfulfilled and misaligned.
00:29:42.400 --> 00:29:50.640
And that one was much harder for many reasons than leaving the pharmaceutical sales because I'm older, it's more ingrained in my identity.
00:29:50.799 --> 00:29:51.599
I've been doing it longer.
00:29:51.759 --> 00:29:56.400
I've been doing like I had been doing health and nutrition since I was 27 and I'm in my 40s.
00:29:56.559 --> 00:29:58.160
So there was a deep attachment.
00:29:58.319 --> 00:30:05.680
There was also external validation that I was receiving from someone who used to be fat and then got in really good shape.
00:30:05.839 --> 00:30:08.319
I realized as I was going through it why it was so hard for me.
00:30:08.400 --> 00:30:10.480
I was like, oh, I got so much external validation.
00:30:10.559 --> 00:30:12.000
Like I had to admit that to myself.
00:30:12.160 --> 00:30:16.640
So all that external validation that just poof, yeah, I don't post pictures I used to post anymore.
00:30:16.720 --> 00:30:18.720
I don't post videos of me eating and working out.
00:30:18.880 --> 00:30:20.960
Like, that's not how I get clients anymore.
00:30:21.039 --> 00:30:22.079
So that was a big shift for me.
00:30:22.160 --> 00:30:23.920
And it was really, really hard.
00:30:24.079 --> 00:30:24.799
Really hard.
00:30:25.039 --> 00:30:26.640
And people still box me in.
00:30:26.799 --> 00:30:30.079
They like still, my audience is still like my big audience on Instagram.
00:30:30.160 --> 00:30:32.079
It's from my fitness nutrition days.
00:30:32.160 --> 00:30:38.480
So that's hard too, because they're not really not all of them, but not everyone's resonating with the identity and the nervous system and the business talk.
00:30:38.559 --> 00:30:40.160
And I just I have to be okay with it.
00:30:40.240 --> 00:30:41.279
It's gonna take some time.
00:30:41.599 --> 00:30:42.799
Well, that and that's a really good point.
00:30:42.880 --> 00:30:44.000
People box you in, right?
00:30:44.160 --> 00:30:49.920
And and again, it's it's like you know, if you want to quit smoking, you have to probably quit your friends who also smoke.
00:30:50.319 --> 00:30:50.720
Exactly.
00:30:51.359 --> 00:30:51.839
Drinking, right?
00:30:52.240 --> 00:30:54.559
Drinking, you're not gonna hang out with that friend group, right?
00:30:54.799 --> 00:30:55.359
Yeah.
00:30:55.599 --> 00:30:56.240
Yep.
00:30:56.640 --> 00:31:01.680
So when when making a change, shifting your identity, right?
00:31:01.839 --> 00:31:11.920
Being very explicit about this, that, you know, because it can be difficult because again, safety, and I hate to say misery loves company, and I obviously tell my team, you know, things are going hard.
00:31:12.000 --> 00:31:13.119
Yeah, misery loves company.
00:31:13.200 --> 00:31:13.759
Fuck that.
00:31:13.920 --> 00:31:15.599
That's not our company, right?
00:31:16.079 --> 00:31:20.079
And if you do feel because it can be hard to say, hey, I'm gonna make this change.
00:31:20.240 --> 00:31:24.880
I mean, I would be now, I was excited to say, hey, I am now an executive coach.
00:31:25.039 --> 00:31:29.839
As of today, I declare, I'm planting my flag, I am now a coach.
00:31:30.000 --> 00:31:32.799
And of course, you know, I I had a lot of people going, oh my God, that's awesome.
00:31:32.880 --> 00:31:33.759
That's what you're supposed to be.
00:31:33.839 --> 00:31:35.279
I'd love to hear that.
00:31:35.759 --> 00:31:38.160
But again, part of the decision was made for me.
00:31:38.240 --> 00:31:43.440
If I was, hey guys, I'm gonna quit my job and become a coach, people like, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a second.
00:31:43.680 --> 00:31:44.079
What are you doing?
00:31:44.319 --> 00:31:44.400
Right.
00:31:44.559 --> 00:31:46.000
Let's pump the fruits here for a second, right?
00:31:46.079 --> 00:31:47.759
That sounds a little that sounds very risky.
00:31:47.920 --> 00:31:49.680
You know, yeah, it's how it's risky.
00:31:50.319 --> 00:31:54.480
Yeah, I mean, so talk a little bit about you know how to, you know, make that approach.
00:31:54.559 --> 00:31:57.119
If you are making a change, how to avoid being boxed in.
00:31:57.200 --> 00:32:06.640
Or when you do have friends and family who mean well, but not everybody wants to take risks, and then it makes them stressed out that you're taking a risk, you know.
00:32:07.359 --> 00:32:14.079
So the other the very important thing is don't take on, first of all, don't ever take advice opinions from people who have not done what you've done.
00:32:14.240 --> 00:32:20.640
A lot of the people who are gonna say this to you, like my mom, for example, like, how could you switch when you were doing so well?
00:32:20.720 --> 00:32:22.799
How could you leave pharmaceutical sales to do this?
00:32:22.880 --> 00:32:26.000
How could you go from fitness coaching to this when you're making so much money?
00:32:26.319 --> 00:32:30.640
They've never done that, they've never had the shift, so they've never done what you've wanted to do.
00:32:30.799 --> 00:32:32.319
You don't listen to them.
00:32:32.880 --> 00:32:34.400
Like, first and foremost.
00:32:34.640 --> 00:32:39.440
And the second thing is this is why the the inner work is so important, the knowing who you are.
00:32:39.599 --> 00:32:49.519
That's why the meditation, the journaling, the sitting with myself in silence, or whether it's a beach walk and just remembering like who I am, what I want, what I'm what my mission is, and what I'm put in this earth to do.
00:32:49.599 --> 00:32:54.319
And no one around me is gonna be able to dictate that except for myself.
00:32:54.640 --> 00:32:57.920
You know, we that's the sovereignty we have to choose our own path.
00:32:58.079 --> 00:32:59.200
It's reminding ourselves of that.
00:32:59.279 --> 00:33:00.000
Is it gonna be hard?
00:33:00.079 --> 00:33:01.279
Are you gonna have people make comments?
00:33:01.359 --> 00:33:02.960
Are you gonna have people misunderstand you?
00:33:03.039 --> 00:33:03.359
Yep.
00:33:03.599 --> 00:33:05.599
But also welcome to entrepreneurship.
00:33:05.839 --> 00:33:06.240
Yeah.
00:33:06.559 --> 00:33:06.799
Yeah.
00:33:06.880 --> 00:33:08.799
Well, and that's why I love the I am statements.
00:33:08.880 --> 00:33:13.920
And I'll go to, you know, establish your I am statement, which helps you then establish your identity.
00:33:14.000 --> 00:33:16.720
And again, this is internal, not external.
00:33:17.039 --> 00:33:18.799
Now, how do you apply that?
00:33:18.960 --> 00:33:22.960
Hey, it could be an entrepreneurship, it could be another job, it could be another thing.
00:33:23.200 --> 00:33:26.400
And that m that gives you portability, gives you mobility.
00:33:26.799 --> 00:33:31.200
It allows you to be like you and I when we first came on this podcast, we were both kind of doing this.
00:33:31.279 --> 00:33:33.279
We're kind of being agile, right?
00:33:33.759 --> 00:33:34.240
Yeah, exactly.
00:33:34.480 --> 00:33:37.279
And agility is a very, I mean, that's one of my core values.
00:33:37.519 --> 00:33:38.480
Be agile.
00:33:39.039 --> 00:33:46.240
And I made that one of my core values because I think when I look back again on the shift I made, that was very difficult.
00:33:46.400 --> 00:33:53.920
And but again, I'm just gonna say shift happens, success is an opportunity, you know, success is is your decision, opportunities change.
00:33:54.160 --> 00:33:54.400
Yep.
00:33:54.559 --> 00:33:56.480
So we have to be agile to that.
00:33:56.640 --> 00:33:57.039
Yeah.
00:33:57.279 --> 00:33:57.839
Fuck it.
00:33:58.000 --> 00:34:03.039
Agile to the market, agile to the, you know, our referral partners, agile to the business that serves them.
00:34:04.000 --> 00:34:05.039
And, you know.
00:34:06.000 --> 00:34:08.719
So tell me a little bit more about your I am statement.
00:34:08.800 --> 00:34:12.639
What is your identity that has helped you um with your portability?
00:34:13.440 --> 00:34:13.920
Hmm.
00:34:14.159 --> 00:34:15.679
Have you thought about that?
00:34:16.480 --> 00:34:17.760
Am I putting you on the spot?
00:34:18.000 --> 00:34:19.840
No, well, I mean, I'm thinking about the tattoo.
00:34:19.920 --> 00:34:29.119
Like that's one of the reasons why I got the tattoo tenacity, and then I have a tattoo abundance, and then I have a tattoo love, and then I have a tattoo on the back of my neck that says only the strong.
00:34:29.440 --> 00:34:34.400
So all these words like love, abundance, strength, tenacity, perseverance.
00:34:34.480 --> 00:34:38.800
When I think of my journey through, you know, from being younger, getting bullied.
00:34:38.880 --> 00:34:43.119
I mean, I have I still kind of have the big nose, but I had a bigger nose, and I got called gonzo.
00:34:43.199 --> 00:34:46.800
And you know, when you're a young girl, those things leave an imprint on you, you know?
00:34:47.039 --> 00:34:50.800
And then the acne, which started when I was very young, and kids being like, What's on your face?
00:34:50.960 --> 00:34:51.679
What's wrong with you?
00:34:51.840 --> 00:34:53.840
Like, you know, and that sticks with you.
00:34:54.079 --> 00:34:58.239
So all the challenges that I've had, and I know everyone has their own story.
00:34:58.320 --> 00:35:01.840
Mine's not maybe as traumatic as other people, but for me, that's what I lived through, right?
00:35:01.920 --> 00:35:04.559
And then I have my grandmother committed suicide when I was younger.
00:35:04.719 --> 00:35:07.679
So everything that I've lived through has made me who I am.
00:35:07.760 --> 00:35:17.599
And I remember like these challenges help you become who you've become and help you serve so many people because of what you've learned.
00:35:17.840 --> 00:35:23.280
So the tenacity, the perseverance, those are things that I just think from everything I've been through, I've I've taken off.
00:35:23.519 --> 00:35:24.159
I'm part of that.
00:35:24.400 --> 00:35:25.280
So it fills your bucket.
00:35:25.760 --> 00:35:29.920
Again, you're able to measure backwards and realize these things can give you strength if you choose.
00:35:30.480 --> 00:35:32.079
Yeah, if you choose, for sure.
00:35:32.239 --> 00:35:32.400
Yeah.
00:35:32.559 --> 00:35:32.880
Yeah.
00:35:33.119 --> 00:35:33.519
Yeah.
00:35:33.760 --> 00:35:39.519
Um, so and and and I love that again, because that, you know, I think I was talking to a client about this recently.
00:35:39.599 --> 00:35:45.519
I can't remember if it was a client or friend, but regardless, there's sort of like it's, you know, it's like, yeah, this gives you control.
00:35:45.599 --> 00:35:48.800
And I said, you know, is it control or is it ownership?
00:35:49.039 --> 00:35:56.480
And you know, maybe there's a blurred line there, but when I own it, because if it's control, I I can't always control everything.
00:35:56.559 --> 00:35:57.679
And now I can feel out of control.
00:35:58.000 --> 00:35:58.719
Yeah, I would agree with that.
00:35:58.800 --> 00:36:00.719
And and words have power to them.
00:36:00.880 --> 00:36:07.119
So being conscious of the words you're using, so I the word control to me doesn't feel good in my nervous system, right?
00:36:07.199 --> 00:36:10.719
It's like when I talk to clients about like, they're like, well, I feel obligated to do this.
00:36:10.800 --> 00:36:13.039
I'm like, is it an obligation or is it an opportunity?
00:36:13.280 --> 00:36:16.480
And that reframe totally shifts the way they're looking at something, right?
00:36:16.559 --> 00:36:20.239
So yeah, I feel like ownership, sovereignty, not so much control, right?
00:36:20.639 --> 00:36:41.760
Yeah, and that's why I bring that up because as you're saying those words, I mean, those words coming from a a deep place in you, that a belief system, you know, you're valued or however you want to label that and whatnot, but that gives you ownership of yourself, your identity, which then allows you, you know, again, it helps, I think, add fuel to whatever the changes or or however you're, you know, going through life.
00:36:42.000 --> 00:36:43.599
And as you know, we're not perfect.
00:36:43.679 --> 00:36:50.239
We all go through seasons, like just like we have seasons in the weather, we have seasons in our life and in our business, winter, summer, spring, fall.
00:36:50.400 --> 00:36:56.000
There have definitely been seasons where I've fell sick and I'm like a victim, and I'm like, why is this happening to me?
00:36:56.079 --> 00:36:59.119
And then, you know, I go back to all the things I've learned, all the coaching I've done.
00:36:59.199 --> 00:36:59.840
It's like, okay.
00:37:00.000 --> 00:37:03.199
But sometimes you, you know, you have to sit in your ship for a little bit.
00:37:03.519 --> 00:37:04.480
How do you do that?
00:37:04.719 --> 00:37:05.840
Yeah, it happens.
00:37:06.480 --> 00:37:07.280
We we all do that.
00:37:07.360 --> 00:37:09.280
So, I mean, what are some of your techniques when you do that?
00:37:09.360 --> 00:37:10.000
Is it a mindset?
00:37:10.159 --> 00:37:10.800
Is it a meditation?
00:37:10.880 --> 00:37:11.679
Is it just self-talking?
00:37:11.920 --> 00:37:12.719
Getting into nature.
00:37:12.880 --> 00:37:22.880
Like when I find myself ruminating, it's getting into nature, and this is one of the reasons why I did choose to live in Hawaii because the beach is right there, the far, you know, 30-minute drive to go to hike.
00:37:23.119 --> 00:37:27.519
Um, yeah, getting underneath the ocean, like salt water is very healing for me.
00:37:27.599 --> 00:37:34.079
So when I'm having those, the when I feel like I'm sitting in my shit, going underwater and screaming is very helpful.
00:37:34.239 --> 00:37:35.119
No one can hear you.
00:37:35.440 --> 00:37:36.960
It's kind of like sacred rage.
00:37:37.039 --> 00:37:38.880
Um, that really helps me brain dumping.
00:37:38.960 --> 00:37:43.519
So just like taking a piece of paper and just writing out all the shit and then burning it, very cathartic.
00:37:43.599 --> 00:37:45.039
So those are the things that help me.
00:37:45.119 --> 00:37:46.719
And then as a coach, I always have a coach.
00:37:46.800 --> 00:37:51.599
So I I don't ever find myself deeply pigeonholed because I can talk to someone.
00:37:51.920 --> 00:37:53.440
Yeah, and and I love that, right?
00:37:53.519 --> 00:37:59.679
I mean, pro professional athletes have coaches, coaches have coaches, high time, you know, high caliber CEOs and executives have coaches.
00:37:59.760 --> 00:38:01.199
I mean, so exactly.
00:38:01.360 --> 00:38:01.519
Yeah.
00:38:01.840 --> 00:38:04.480
Seek a coach, seek Angelica as your coach.
00:38:04.639 --> 00:38:08.960
I mean, it is so powerful because now you don't have to carry the burden yourself.
00:38:09.199 --> 00:38:11.360
Yeah, and you can only see what you can see, right?
00:38:11.440 --> 00:38:17.840
So I could uh even with all the work I've done, my coach will still be like, Well, you're still doing this behavior pattern, right?
00:38:17.920 --> 00:38:19.840
And I'm like, uh, right, I'm reverting back to that.
00:38:20.000 --> 00:38:22.719
A coach is gonna poke holes because they're outside, you're inside.
00:38:22.880 --> 00:38:23.199
That's right.
00:38:23.280 --> 00:38:23.599
That's right.
00:38:23.679 --> 00:38:28.000
I say one of my jobs as a coach is I'm I'm always down road a little bit trying to peek around the corners for you, right?
00:38:28.079 --> 00:38:29.360
Again, save it to Tigers.
00:38:29.440 --> 00:38:32.079
I'm I'm there to help kind of you know protect you from the saver tooth.
00:38:32.559 --> 00:38:32.880
Exactly.
00:38:32.960 --> 00:38:40.159
That's why I say, like on my I think as a pattern breaker, because I'm like poking holes, breaking the patterns that they've been holding on to for so long that they can't always see.
00:38:40.480 --> 00:38:41.519
Nah, I dig that.
00:38:41.679 --> 00:38:41.840
Yeah.
00:38:41.920 --> 00:38:47.840
Well, and and actually, I mean, pattern breaking is a really big deal because it's again, our brains love patterns.
00:38:47.920 --> 00:38:49.119
That's why we have habits.
00:38:49.440 --> 00:38:52.159
We can't just operate in this world ad hoc.
00:38:52.239 --> 00:38:56.000
So our brains want to create patterns out of everything, and that's create safety.
00:38:56.159 --> 00:39:03.840
And again, that's that's what becomes very easy to get locked in, boxed in, identity, pattern, routine.
00:39:04.079 --> 00:39:06.320
Next thing you know, drift.
00:39:06.800 --> 00:39:09.440
Shift happens, drift happens.
00:39:09.760 --> 00:39:10.159
Exactly.
00:39:10.800 --> 00:39:13.360
We do have to kind of we gotta we gotta break some shit.
00:39:13.519 --> 00:39:16.079
We gotta break those patterns and you know, and everything.
00:39:16.960 --> 00:39:20.239
I was gonna say, you know, I was gonna say it's and it's sometimes it's gonna be really painful.
00:39:20.480 --> 00:39:23.920
You probably have heard the expression, you have to have a a breakdown, have a breakthrough.
00:39:24.079 --> 00:39:37.519
And I've experienced that many times on spiritual journeys, um, on coaching journeys, on coaching calls, an ayahuasca journey, an emotional journey, like all these times, like I really had to get to, I had to get to a really low point for me to leave my fitness and nutrition business.
00:39:37.920 --> 00:39:42.800
Like I kept trying, trying, trying, and it wasn't until I hit the low of the low, very sick as well.
00:39:42.960 --> 00:39:44.559
And I was like, okay, this is a side.
00:39:44.719 --> 00:39:46.800
Universe is like, you need to be done with this.
00:39:46.960 --> 00:39:52.079
So yeah, so we may have to talk about the ayahuasca journey, but that might be another positive.
00:39:52.480 --> 00:39:54.079
We did a whole nother call on that, yeah.
00:39:55.599 --> 00:40:02.239
Well, and and I love that you said, you know, uh, I can't remember what you said, uh, but you know, when you scream underneath the water, you know, in the salt water.
00:40:02.639 --> 00:40:03.760
Yeah, sacred rage.
00:40:03.840 --> 00:40:04.079
Yeah.
00:40:04.320 --> 00:40:05.199
Sacred rage.
00:40:05.519 --> 00:40:05.840
He said that.
00:40:05.920 --> 00:40:07.360
I'm like, oh, that's such a great idea.
00:40:07.760 --> 00:40:10.480
You can keep it in a shower too, but just warn your family if you're gonna do it.
00:40:10.639 --> 00:40:13.039
Also, it's screaming into a pillow.
00:40:13.199 --> 00:40:13.760
I did it the other day.
00:40:14.079 --> 00:40:17.679
My husband might not do a little tip, and I was like, annoying me is screaming to the pillow.
00:40:18.880 --> 00:40:21.840
I scream into the pillow and apparently it like amused my dog.
00:40:21.920 --> 00:40:22.880
I thought he was gonna get scared.
00:40:22.960 --> 00:40:25.360
He like bounced on the bed and was like ready to play.
00:40:25.440 --> 00:40:28.559
I was like, oh, the weirdest, you know, the weirdest things anyway.
00:40:28.719 --> 00:40:29.840
Yeah, yeah, totally.
00:40:30.400 --> 00:40:31.599
Um, okay.
00:40:31.920 --> 00:40:37.199
So we're taking a risk, we're shifting our identity, we're owning it.
00:40:37.440 --> 00:40:45.280
We have our I am statements, we have our core values, our beliefs, our magnets to our compass, our words that matter.
00:40:45.840 --> 00:40:56.480
For everybody listening right now, everybody in this audience that's listening to you right now, what's the one word, what's the one thing you want them to remember and keep from this conversation?
00:40:56.800 --> 00:40:58.559
Reinvention is the price of alignment.
00:40:58.800 --> 00:40:59.760
Say that one more time.
00:41:00.239 --> 00:41:03.360
Reinvention is the price of alignment.
00:41:03.599 --> 00:41:05.199
Reinvention is the price.
00:41:06.079 --> 00:41:14.960
If you want to align, be more aligned in your life, whether that's in your career or your relationship or your body, you're gonna have to reinvent something, which means you're probably gonna need to have an identity shift.
00:41:15.199 --> 00:41:16.000
What we talked about, right?
00:41:16.239 --> 00:41:20.159
So whether it's reinventing this part of yourself, reinventing this in your career, right?
00:41:20.239 --> 00:41:23.360
Like you had to reinvent yourself to become a coach, to be happening.
00:41:24.320 --> 00:41:30.320
I had to reinvent myself several times from the farmer rep to the fitness coach to the leadership coach I am now.
00:41:30.400 --> 00:41:34.880
So, and I was doing that because I wanted to be more aligned and fulfilled in my life.
00:41:35.760 --> 00:41:37.119
Well, and here's what I love.
00:41:37.199 --> 00:41:40.159
And and honestly, I was not expecting you to say that.
00:41:41.679 --> 00:41:45.199
But but this is what I love because we do need to reinvent.
00:41:45.360 --> 00:41:47.920
It happens, and and we want to.
00:41:48.320 --> 00:41:50.719
Um, and so then it becomes okay, how?
00:41:50.960 --> 00:41:57.039
And again, going right back to the first step is let's get our identity aligned to our reinvention.
00:41:57.280 --> 00:41:57.599
Right.
00:41:58.000 --> 00:41:58.719
Let's get our identity.
00:42:00.239 --> 00:42:00.880
Awesome.
00:42:01.199 --> 00:42:02.000
Um, I love it.
00:42:02.079 --> 00:42:04.079
Uh Angelica, how can people find you?
00:42:04.159 --> 00:42:04.960
How can they reach you?
00:42:05.039 --> 00:42:06.000
How can they connect with you?
00:42:06.239 --> 00:42:07.760
Yeah, Instagram is the best place.
00:42:07.920 --> 00:42:09.760
That's me and my DMs, not a bot.
00:42:09.840 --> 00:42:11.119
So come on and say hi.
00:42:11.280 --> 00:42:15.039
I also have a free high performance burnout assessment.
00:42:15.119 --> 00:42:22.559
It's an audit, it takes one minute, and then it's gonna give you there's four different um identity archetypes that you'll find yourself in.
00:42:22.719 --> 00:42:24.800
It's 20 questions, it's very revealing.
00:42:24.960 --> 00:42:30.239
So that's something that you can grab, and it comes with two other bonuses, and then my website's also attached to my Instagram.
00:42:30.320 --> 00:42:32.000
So if you want to learn more, you can go there.
00:42:32.239 --> 00:42:32.719
Awesome.
00:42:32.880 --> 00:42:36.000
Well, I'm definitely gonna take that assessment because I'm super curious curious.
00:42:36.559 --> 00:42:40.719
Um, and then you can you have to just tell me where I land on this whole like crazy mat.
00:42:41.199 --> 00:42:43.199
Um we off the charts probably.
00:42:43.599 --> 00:42:48.960
I'll have all these links in our show notes too for everybody who's listening, and and definitely reach out, check out Angelica.
00:42:49.280 --> 00:42:51.679
Um, it you mean obviously from this conversation.
00:42:51.840 --> 00:42:56.800
I mean, I think this is one of the better conversations of again, how do you reinvent yourself?
00:42:56.880 --> 00:42:57.920
How do we move forward?
00:42:58.000 --> 00:42:58.960
How do we face change?
00:42:59.039 --> 00:43:07.039
And I love that you get right underneath it and you've represented where I can make big change and by your decision not being a decision being made for you.
00:43:07.199 --> 00:43:09.280
And you know, but we all face both sides of that.
00:43:09.360 --> 00:43:10.880
So yeah, for sure.
00:43:11.119 --> 00:43:11.599
Thank you.
00:43:12.159 --> 00:43:12.719
My pleasure.
00:43:12.880 --> 00:43:14.159
Well, thanks for joining the show.
00:43:14.400 --> 00:43:15.119
Thank you.
00:43:15.280 --> 00:43:17.760
All right, we'll talk shift next time, everybody.
00:43:18.000 --> 00:43:22.639
Um, enjoy the conversation, check out Angelica, and uh, we'll see you on the next show.
00:43:22.960 --> 00:43:23.840
Bye, guys.
00:43:24.079 --> 00:43:26.719
Hey, thanks for joining me today on Talking Shift.
00:43:26.800 --> 00:43:27.599
I hope you enjoyed it.
00:43:27.760 --> 00:43:30.480
I'm looking forward to seeing you on our next episode.