Full Transcript for Episode 348 Mark Bailey, Mike Miller

--> 00:03:12.800 I'll give you the guy. Are you f fifteen minutes? 79 00:03:12.840 --> 00:03:15.319 That was not ten minutes? Yeah, I'll give you the 80 00:03:15.319 --> 00:03:18.360 the guy from Lebanon who can't take criticism, who wants 81 00:03:18.360 --> 00:03:20.919 to be on a podcast so to promote his porn business, 82 00:03:22.800 --> 00:03:26.080 who flames me eighteen times a day. Oh yeah, I'll 83 00:03:26.080 --> 00:03:27.520 give you him. I'll give you the guy who saw 84 00:03:27.560 --> 00:03:29.599 him after you well, I blocked him. I'll give you 85 00:03:29.639 --> 00:03:33.039 the guy who assaulted me on stage. Yeah, just strangle me. Yeah, 86 00:03:33.120 --> 00:03:35.199 give you the guy who chose to fight with another 87 00:03:35.240 --> 00:03:37.479 guy with a long period. Yeah. You got five guys 88 00:03:37.560 --> 00:03:40.520 right there. Yeah, you take them if you want. He said, 89 00:03:40.560 --> 00:03:43.800 please don't throw me into the briar patch. Please please 90 00:03:43.840 --> 00:03:47.240 don't come to Nagloia and try to hire people. Oh 91 00:03:47.280 --> 00:03:49.240 I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Yeah, and 92 00:03:49.280 --> 00:03:51.800 you kind of arm my worst enemy enough. So I 93 00:03:51.840 --> 00:03:54.159 thought that we should probably. 94 00:03:53.800 --> 00:03:55.719 We have a rogues gallery. We should put a poster up, 95 00:03:55.759 --> 00:03:56.759 you know, if you see these. 96 00:03:56.719 --> 00:04:00.759 People, so that, like you, you've said for you've predicted 97 00:04:00.800 --> 00:04:03.319 that novelty is going to wear off. Yea, because nicoy 98 00:04:03.360 --> 00:04:05.719 audience is don't pay twenty five hundred yen for long. 99 00:04:05.960 --> 00:04:08.000 Well, I think I think there's a limited number of 100 00:04:08.039 --> 00:04:11.479 people for every month. I think it's a little limited number. 101 00:04:11.280 --> 00:04:14.120 About our audience. Our audience is one thousand yen. Yeah, 102 00:04:14.159 --> 00:04:16.240 and they complain about five hundred gen beer. 103 00:04:16.319 --> 00:04:18.000 Yeah. But I think one thing we do, we do 104 00:04:18.079 --> 00:04:19.680 need to We should take it as inspiration and we 105 00:04:19.680 --> 00:04:21.600 should also like be promoting more and we should also 106 00:04:21.639 --> 00:04:25.160 be doing more online stuff. But the thing is, we're teachers, 107 00:04:25.360 --> 00:04:27.560 so there's a limit. There's kind of a limit to 108 00:04:27.600 --> 00:04:29.839 what we can do. You know, we have day jobs 109 00:04:29.879 --> 00:04:31.600 that we have to worry about, so we can't get 110 00:04:31.639 --> 00:04:34.600 too spicy in our online videos. And a lot of 111 00:04:34.600 --> 00:04:37.680 these people they get attention, they get attention from from 112 00:04:37.680 --> 00:04:41.680 doing kind of spicy videos on TikTok and Instagram stuff 113 00:04:41.720 --> 00:04:45.000 like that. And you know, I don't. I prefer the 114 00:04:45.000 --> 00:04:47.639 podcast because we can talk freely and nobody sees our faces, 115 00:04:47.680 --> 00:04:49.399 so we have a little bit of anonymity, Like if 116 00:04:49.439 --> 00:04:50.839 people want to know who we are, of course they 117 00:04:50.879 --> 00:04:54.000 can find out who we are, but it's not it's 118 00:04:54.000 --> 00:04:57.439 not like we're we're we're blasting our faces out to everywhere. 119 00:04:57.600 --> 00:05:01.480 And we've got the podcast. The former the autistic guy, 120 00:05:02.000 --> 00:05:03.639 he said he was going to start a podcast up 121 00:05:03.680 --> 00:05:06.800 there and took, yeah, that's the reason I started. I'm like, well, 122 00:05:06.800 --> 00:05:09.720 they're not gonna get anything on us. They've never done anything. Yeah, 123 00:05:09.879 --> 00:05:11.639 they have a couple of guys. They're nice enough guys, 124 00:05:12.240 --> 00:05:14.639 but they don't get the listeners that we get and 125 00:05:14.680 --> 00:05:15.600 a lot of comics. 126 00:05:16.399 --> 00:05:18.800 And we've just been making money handle or fist off 127 00:05:18.800 --> 00:05:19.519 this podcast. 128 00:05:19.639 --> 00:05:22.480 So, oh, you ruined the illusion. I was telling itybody, 129 00:05:22.480 --> 00:05:25.639 we don't make money. Wait, we get more money from that, Like, 130 00:05:25.720 --> 00:05:28.319 let's help these guys out. The Lebanese guy one of 131 00:05:28.360 --> 00:05:30.360 the reasons he got pissed off. He wanted to be 132 00:05:30.399 --> 00:05:32.279 on the podcast and I said fine, and he goes, 133 00:05:32.319 --> 00:05:36.959 but you pay my transportation. I said, we're not making Yeah, 134 00:05:37.160 --> 00:05:38.160 we're not making money for that. 135 00:05:38.279 --> 00:05:40.240 I think that who was in his kind of young 136 00:05:40.279 --> 00:05:43.879 prima donna face. Now he's moving into more. Oh, recently 137 00:05:43.920 --> 00:05:46.879 he asked you that porn business and all that. I mean, 138 00:05:47.079 --> 00:05:49.800 it's just it's gonna blow up at some point. You 139 00:05:49.839 --> 00:05:52.720 can't be doing that and doing the other job. You 140 00:05:52.759 --> 00:05:55.360 know that, he does. I think it's the two worlds. 141 00:05:55.360 --> 00:05:57.839 When those two worlds touch each other, there's going to 142 00:05:57.879 --> 00:05:59.839 be an explosion and bad things are gonna happen. You 143 00:06:00.040 --> 00:06:01.959 know what I mean, Like, you can't you can't work 144 00:06:02.000 --> 00:06:04.279 in those two different worlds and not have blowback. 145 00:06:04.720 --> 00:06:07.360 But yeah, he was flaming me, and I said, look, 146 00:06:07.519 --> 00:06:09.480 I'm not arguing with you. I'm just explaining. And I 147 00:06:09.920 --> 00:06:12.879 sent kind of a LinkedIn explanation. We have listeners, but 148 00:06:13.199 --> 00:06:15.600 we're like Spotify is getting money from us, We're not 149 00:06:15.600 -->

00:06:18.439 getting money. Yeah, and uh, and he said I didn't 150 00:06:18.439 --> 00:06:20.920 need like a new Tora. He was getting a little antisemitic. 151 00:06:21.360 --> 00:06:23.600 And then and he said, but also, you can't say 152 00:06:23.639 --> 00:06:25.279 that Jews don't control the media. 153 00:06:25.319 --> 00:06:26.920 Did he tore you a new asshole? 154 00:06:28.519 --> 00:06:30.519 He said, you can't say that Jews don't control the media. 155 00:06:30.560 --> 00:06:34.079 You control the podcasts. Yeah, okay, I also control the weather. 156 00:06:34.120 --> 00:06:35.720 I can control the podcasts. 157 00:06:35.839 --> 00:06:38.399 I control the weather. It's like saying it's not even 158 00:06:38.439 --> 00:06:43.759 a very profitable thing. Is the Jews control dice manufacturing? 159 00:06:45.120 --> 00:06:48.399 The Jews control value cleaner chords. 160 00:06:51.040 --> 00:06:53.079 No, I think he's the printer ink cartridges. 161 00:06:53.399 --> 00:06:54.920 Yeah, that makes sense. 162 00:06:56.360 --> 00:06:59.319 For forget the movie The Media printer in cartridges. 163 00:06:59.439 --> 00:07:02.720 Her family happens with you is that's Carly Simon's empire. Really, 164 00:07:04.079 --> 00:07:08.480 it was Wesen and Kodak, Kodek Kodak. They do print, 165 00:07:08.560 --> 00:07:08.839 they do. 166 00:07:09.279 --> 00:07:10.399 That's a real racket ink. 167 00:07:11.680 --> 00:07:13.519 There used to be a place of racket. I think 168 00:07:13.519 --> 00:07:15.399 it was Yamatadink right around the corner. 169 00:07:15.439 --> 00:07:16.439 He used to be able to be used to have 170 00:07:16.439 --> 00:07:18.920 to buy cheap stuff from China and refill them yourselves. 171 00:07:19.000 --> 00:07:21.040 And then they then they banned that and they suited 172 00:07:21.079 --> 00:07:21.920 all those companies. 173 00:07:22.000 --> 00:07:24.759 There was Yamada Dunkey, yeah, and you could just they 174 00:07:24.759 --> 00:07:28.079 had printers for five thousand yen. Yeah, and then you 175 00:07:28.279 --> 00:07:32.199 just throw it away and you never changed. The cartridges 176 00:07:32.199 --> 00:07:34.240 are nine thousand yen. Yeah. 177 00:07:34.600 --> 00:07:37.519 I saw a printer on Amazon dot Com recently four thousand, 178 00:07:37.600 --> 00:07:40.079 five hundred and then I was like oh, and then 179 00:07:40.079 --> 00:07:41.600 I was like how much are the cartridges? And I 180 00:07:41.639 --> 00:07:43.759 was like, eh, so you only that's why you get 181 00:07:43.759 --> 00:07:46.879 a laser printer. Don't get thee in chets are ridiculous. 182 00:07:46.720 --> 00:07:49.240 To use the cartridges and when they buy. 183 00:07:49.240 --> 00:07:51.160 My parents have a laser printer and they've got a 184 00:07:51.160 --> 00:07:54.480 big there's a big cartridge of ink and you have 185 00:07:54.519 --> 00:07:56.560 to change it like what every six months or every year. 186 00:07:56.600 --> 00:07:59.600 They don't print a lot. They last forever. They last forever. 187 00:08:00.279 --> 00:08:02.079 So I thought it'd be a good chance for us 188 00:08:02.120 --> 00:08:04.800 to talk about how the Gooy Comedy is unique. 189 00:08:04.879 --> 00:08:07.120 So I'll kind of say a bit about the feedback 190 00:08:07.120 --> 00:08:08.800 that we had when we've had guests come down here. 191 00:08:08.839 --> 00:08:11.279 We've had times where we've had guests come down and 192 00:08:11.319 --> 00:08:13.480 we've done our bits and they go, you can say that, 193 00:08:14.240 --> 00:08:16.839 you can talk about that, and I was like, yeah, 194 00:08:16.879 --> 00:08:19.040 we do. We talk about everything. We're not We're not limited. 195 00:08:19.120 --> 00:08:20.879 And then we had that weirdo come to us after 196 00:08:20.879 --> 00:08:22.519 the show and go, so, what is it you guys 197 00:08:22.600 --> 00:08:27.000 really want? Like, like, I know what you want us 198 00:08:27.040 --> 00:08:30.360 to say, but it's not something I not something I I. 199 00:08:30.680 --> 00:08:32.480 It's not that I'm hiding it. No, I just don't 200 00:08:32.480 --> 00:08:34.200 want to say that because it's there's no reason to 201 00:08:34.240 --> 00:08:34.960 say that stuff. 202 00:08:35.279 --> 00:08:40.720 I've had John Gotti in Tokyo insinuate to us. He 203 00:08:40.799 --> 00:08:44.279 thinks the way the Goya Comedy does comedy, it's not 204 00:08:44.840 --> 00:08:47.159 in alignment with him that the way he wants to 205 00:08:47.159 --> 00:08:49.039 do it. So me, you know how I'm talking about? 206 00:08:49.240 --> 00:08:51.399 Yeah, got so metaphorical John Gotti. 207 00:08:51.799 --> 00:08:52.679 He's sly, like. 208 00:08:52.559 --> 00:08:57.159 A like a yes, a wolf, Yeah, a wolf. 209 00:08:57.240 --> 00:09:03.159 Yeah. So I said, yeah, the thing is, yeah, paying 210 00:09:03.200 --> 00:09:06.600 people what I get paid, get a communist, paying people 211 00:09:06.639 --> 00:09:10.399 what I get paid, Recommending heavily new sets every month, 212 00:09:10.759 --> 00:09:16.279 fresh new comedy every month, recommending that comics right monthly. Yeah, okay, Boomer, 213 00:09:16.360 --> 00:09:19.679 you know, okay, Yeah, I guess that's not in alignment 214 00:09:19.720 --> 00:09:21.720 with what you want to do. I will just say 215 00:09:21.759 --> 00:09:23.759 this and that and that and that, but I just 216 00:09:23.799 --> 00:09:26.840 say this. I was gonna say's a running dangerfield in 217 00:09:26.840 --> 00:09:29.600 the eighties. Jerry Seinfeld, Jaylen. 218 00:09:29.440 --> 00:09:31.279 Did you see the package? Was he in a robe? 219 00:09:32.600 --> 00:09:36.679 Let me for this? Jay LENO. I got advice from 220 00:09:36.840 --> 00:09:38.840 Rita Rudnue gave me advice too. I got advice from 221 00:09:38.879 --> 00:09:44.039 Bob Saget, Gilbert Gutfried. You were two a little bit 222 00:09:44.039 --> 00:09:46.679 of respect for yourself. I mean, I would never treat 223 00:09:47.080 -->

00:09:50.240 well Lucy kay is actually my age. I would never 224 00:09:50.320 --> 00:09:53.039 treat not that I'm George Carlin, what would be. I 225 00:09:53.039 --> 00:09:57.039 would never treat Larry Miller the way John Gotti is 226 00:09:57.080 --> 00:10:00.000 treating us. I would never do that out of respect 227 00:10:00.919 --> 00:10:04.799 for SEMPI, for people that were there before me. Maybe 228 00:10:04.840 --> 00:10:07.000 we did it differently then. You don't know you were 229 00:10:07.039 --> 00:10:10.600 two guys at forty four to forty six. We're two, 230 00:10:11.480 --> 00:10:14.200 so I don't need advice from you. And now now 231 00:10:14.240 --> 00:10:18.799 you're coming for us, go ahead, knock yourself up. You're 232 00:10:18.840 --> 00:10:20.840 gonna you're gonna shoot yourself on the head after two 233 00:10:20.879 --> 00:10:22.279 years of working in the get. 234 00:10:22.720 --> 00:10:24.440 Well, we're gonna. I think we'll just keep on deal 235 00:10:24.480 --> 00:10:26.559 what we do and we will find a new audience 236 00:10:26.639 --> 00:10:29.039 and expand an audience and. 237 00:10:28.519 --> 00:10:31.399 Keeping our same audience because our audience doesn't pay twenty 238 00:10:31.399 --> 00:10:31.919 five hundred. 239 00:10:32.159 --> 00:10:35.480 No, but you see, we don't have to charge twenty 240 00:10:35.480 --> 00:10:38.240 five hundred because we don't travel, don't we don't like 241 00:10:38.320 --> 00:10:40.480 we're just here. We're already here in the city. We 242 00:10:40.480 --> 00:10:43.200 don't have to spend nieman en each on the shinkansen 243 00:10:43.240 --> 00:10:45.360 to come down here and go back. That's the thing 244 00:10:45.360 --> 00:10:48.600 that people don't understand the economics of comedy. You're not 245 00:10:48.639 --> 00:10:52.159 gonna be making that much money because it's just the shinkansen, 246 00:10:52.559 --> 00:10:54.399 the bullet train come down. I guess if you take 247 00:10:54.399 --> 00:10:56.799 the bus. But the bus to Tokyo that's a long 248 00:10:57.120 --> 00:10:59.279 that's a whole day, let's say five hours if you 249 00:10:59.320 --> 00:11:00.000 want to take the bus. 250 00:11:00.200 --> 00:11:02.240 Well, there's a point we reached it as well. There's 251 00:11:02.279 --> 00:11:04.080 a point where it's like, hey, we're doing comedy, let's 252 00:11:04.080 --> 00:11:06.159 do different cities. Let's do a tour, because yeah, it 253 00:11:06.240 --> 00:11:08.039 sounds cool to say you do a tour. We were 254 00:11:08.039 --> 00:11:10.519 doing Okazaki and we're doing you know, doing Gifu, and 255 00:11:10.559 --> 00:11:12.559 it's like we're kind of on a tour, right, we've 256 00:11:12.600 --> 00:11:15.639 made it. And there's a point, like the Stages of 257 00:11:15.720 --> 00:11:18.440 Drinking by Larry Miller, there's a point where you go, 258 00:11:18.879 --> 00:11:22.320 you know, Kazaki and Nagoya, why don't we just do 259 00:11:22.360 --> 00:11:24.559

it in Gooya? It's just a pain. And to go 260 00:11:24.600 --> 00:11:28.120 to other cities. We love Okazaki, we love Okazaki, but 261 00:11:28.159 --> 00:11:29.279 it's just a pain to travel. 262 00:11:29.639 --> 00:11:31.960 Remember we used to go to Gifu. Yeah, it's so 263 00:11:32.000 --> 00:11:34.559 many adventures up there. But that's not not far. 264 00:11:34.919 --> 00:11:36.480 I think you reach a point. They reached a point 265 00:11:36.519 --> 00:11:38.759 where they're like, let's tour and and and Steve and I. 266 00:11:38.799 --> 00:11:41.679 We're touring Fukuoka. Yeah we didn't do that again. 267 00:11:41.840 --> 00:11:42.720 That was weird. 268 00:11:42.919 --> 00:11:44.960 It's like you got a little kid. And when I 269 00:11:45.000 --> 00:11:48.320 was a kid and my parents were old school boomers. 270 00:11:48.360 --> 00:11:52.720 So you had a lamp at my grandpa's house with 271 00:11:52.840 --> 00:11:55.360 no light bulb in it, and it's hooked into the hall, 272 00:11:56.039 --> 00:11:58.399 and can I put having like four or five? Can 273 00:11:58.440 --> 00:12:01.399 I put my finger in here? I goes, well you can, 274 00:12:03.519 --> 00:12:07.039 technically's technically He goes, why would you want to do that? 275 00:12:07.720 --> 00:12:09.360 But I want to see what it's like. And he goes, 276 00:12:09.799 --> 00:12:14.440 you're only gonna do it one. But he was right. 277 00:12:14.519 --> 00:12:16.879 I never did it again. Wow, you're going to tour 278 00:12:17.200 --> 00:12:19.440 and then you're gonna realize, man, this is like a 279 00:12:19.600 --> 00:12:23.679 waste of time. Yeah, and we're not making much money. Yeah, 280 00:12:23.720 --> 00:12:26.519 you won't do it for long? Go ahead, it's right 281 00:12:26.519 --> 00:12:33.000 down there, Sean JG. But no, I worked for eleven years. 282 00:12:33.000 --> 00:12:35.639 You want eleven years to wrestle this from aple cash 283 00:12:35.679 --> 00:12:38.159 who didn't pay us? I know, just for the radical 284 00:12:38.200 --> 00:12:40.840 idea that we write new stuff and we pay when 285 00:12:40.879 --> 00:12:44.399 I get paid. This guy doesn't pay what he gets paid. 286 00:12:45.039 --> 00:12:45.679 He gets more. 287 00:12:45.799 --> 00:12:47.559 But who knows. We'll just keep doing what we're doing 288 00:12:47.559 --> 00:12:49.919 and they'll do what they do, and that's that's that. 289 00:12:50.080 --> 00:12:51.480 But they're nice to me when I go up there. 290 00:12:51.519 --> 00:12:52.960 I think I could go up there again and they'll 291 00:12:52.960 --> 00:12:54.600 still be nice to me. I think there's like three 292 00:12:54.639 --> 00:12:56.320 minute open mic stuff and they're like, you could do 293 00:12:56.360 --> 00:12:59.240 six to eight. It was just courtesy, yeah, for you know, 294 00:12:59.480 --> 00:13:00.200 because we're I. 295 00:13:00.159 --> 00:13:02.679 Just think we need a little bit more diversity in 296 00:13:02.720 --> 00:13:06.000 the comedy thing seen in general, I think we need 297 00:13:06.000 --> 00:13:08.600 more diversity in the comedy scene, like different different groups 298 00:13:08.639 --> 00:13:11.919 in different cities doing different stuff. Like Kansai Comedy. I 299 00:13:11.960 --> 00:13:13.399 went down there and did a show with them. They're 300 00:13:13.440 --> 00:13:16.039 really good. They're nice people, and they're also kind of 301 00:13:16.080 --> 00:13:19.639 outsiders because the old time guys, the Osaka comedy people 302 00:13:20.000 --> 00:13:22.039 been doing that for years, so they're kind of upstarts. 303 00:13:22.080 --> 00:13:25.879 Well, the thing is with Nagoya, it's a very finite audience. Yeah, 304 00:13:25.919 --> 00:13:29.919 it's very rare. Mark Bailey Mike Miller on Talk Funny