WEBVTT
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Hey, you are listening to Taking Back Monday.
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My name is Alyssa Nolte And my name is Mireia Mujika.
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And we are gonna get right into it.
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So tell us what is your origin story?
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So, well, I think the origin of story is, uh, when I, I had my first child and that was back in 2000.
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17 and I went back to after six months of maternity leave, I actually went back to to work and I couldn't handle it.
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I just couldn't, uh, for me it was extremely hard to leave my little one that was only six months old with a complete stranger in my house and me going to work.
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But I was not like saving lives or doing something extremely necessary for the world, right?
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So I, I, I couldn't really handle it.
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But then I said like, you know, maybe I'm being too extreme.
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Like, why don't I give, I'm a little bit of time to myself.
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Maybe I have to change career or I have to change jobs.
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And that's what I did.
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I changed, I changed jobs.
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And as soon as I went, I, I was three months in, in the other job, then suddenly I felt like, nah, this is not right.
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I just want to go home.
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I want I, I want to do this in a very different way.
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And at that time I was thinking about my maternity, not so much about my work, right?
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But then.
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Before quitting my job, I, someone told me, oh, you know, there is this course starting on Monday.
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That was Saturday.
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And she was like, starting on Monday, there is this course.
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Why don't you join?
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I think you are gonna love it.
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It was a coaching course.
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I was like, um, whatever.
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I'm gonna just join in, you know, uh, why not?
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So I went.
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In, and then, I mean, this were like, uh, a weekend, then another weekend.
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And on the third weekend I actually said like, okay, yeah, I'm, I'm for sure within my job and I think I know what I'm gonna be doing the rest of my life.
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And that's how I started, uh, coaching, my coaching journey.
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I started as a life coach.
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Uh, and then I've been, um, going into leadership coaching.
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I think that that is such a. A common challenge that we face as women, right?
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Because, so I have always been an entrepreneur.
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I have always been my own boss in a way.
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And when I went back after my first, um, I had him in 2015 and he was a very difficult baby.
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So like screaming, crying all the time.
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So I'm not gonna lie to you, I was pretty ready to go back to work because, um, you know, it was, it was hard.
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He was hard.
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And I will say that to, he's 10 now, and I tell him that all the time.
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I'm like, you were a hard baby.
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Um, I love you now, but you were real tough back then.
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And so for me, with that first one, it was really, really easy for me to go back because I wanted to be back at work because that's where I felt like myself again, my pre-baby self.
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Now, maybe if he would've been easier, that might've been a different story, but we have these.
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Dichotomies as women of, you know, if you are at work, you can't be a mom.
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And if you're a mom, you can't be at work.
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And these cultural identities that whether we give it to ourselves or our society gives it to us, it can be really hard.
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And, and for a lot of people, motherhood becomes a catalyst to help you see what you really want.
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So tell us more about coaching.
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What was it about coaching specifically that made you say.
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Yes.
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This is the happy in between for me.
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Well for me it was, you know, that reconnection with myself, right?
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I, I like for me, I. Like the day that my born, my, my, my, my first child was born.
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I, I was reborn as well.
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Like, it was such a change for me.
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It was such a, I really like, I, I really see it as, as me being born again because it was a, I was a different person completely and suddenly I didn't know myself.
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Right?
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So from one day to the other, it's like something really changed inside me and I didn't know who I was anymore.
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And what did I like or like all the things that were changing inside me.
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So coaching gave me that, right, like that reconnection with myself, and it didn't, I didn't need to go back to who I was.
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I actually wanted to go forward.
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I, I, for me, who I was before my babies was not gonna come back.
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Like, that's it.
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That, that was closed for me.
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I didn't want to go back that door.
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I wanted to go forward.
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I wanted to see like, okay, so now that I have.
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This baby in my life and I know that everything in me has changed.
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So who do I want to be?
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And coaching gave me that.
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Coaching, gave me like look like that feeling of like no judgment as well.
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Right.
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And going into that.
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A scene where you can say, and you can decide like, okay, you know this, these are my new values now this is what I want to do and I think this is who I want to be.
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And also it was giving me a way to say like, wow, and I don't even need to do the work that I used to do.
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I can actually completely change careers and do something else that probably is more fulfilling.
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Don't get me wrong, I used to love what I used to do before I used to do the product management.
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I used to love it, love it.
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But suddenly I went back and ah, I was a different person.
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Couldn't get so interested anymore.
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So yeah, coaching gave me that, that new perspective in myself.
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I think it's really important too, and this is something that we see in a lot of people, whether you have a life transforming moment like becoming a mother, or you just look up and look around and realize that the life you are living is not the one you.
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Really wanted it to be right.
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And I think we have to give ourselves permission to, to mourn the person we never became and to mourn the person that we used to be.
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But if you just sit there and say, well, this is the way the world is for me, then you are really just allowing that world to happen to you.
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I, I made a joke before we started recording that I'm either, I'm either surviving or I'm thriving and there is no in-between.
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And most of the time I am thriving like I am.
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I'm genuinely happy in what I do.
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It's because I have truly looked around and said, these are the things that I want for myself.
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These are the opportunities that I would like to pursue, and it is really hard to say the thing that I thought I wanted, I don't want anymore, and that's okay.
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And to give it up and to move on and to try something new.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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But I think that is extremely hard.
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Right?
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And, and as you say, sometimes we fall into life.
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Like we, we, we don't design it for ourselves.
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We don't do that also with relationships.
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We don't design our relationships.
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We should be designing our relationship.
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We should be designing our lives.
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Right.
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But we don't do that.
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We, we pass on, we, we live up to expectations of others.
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Right.
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And also I think, uh.
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My generation, I think you are a little bit younger than me.
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Younger than me, I dunno.
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Uh, but my generation, we were told that a, as a woman, you know, you can have a career, you can have uh, you can have children, you can have family, you can do everything that is in You can have it.
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All You have all, the phrase.
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that was it, right?
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And then for me it was like, what?
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Who's told me that that was such a life for me in that moment, right?
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And I, at that moment, I didn't want to work.
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And for me it was difficult to explain to people like, Hey, no, I actually want to go back home and I want to stay home and I want to quit and I don't want to be working for like a year at least.
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Right.
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But people would not.
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I mean, I remember people telling me, I, you won't be able to, like in three months we'll be sitting back to work.
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And I was like, nah, no, no.
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Making this decision.
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I don't want to.
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And then like all the judgment that we have, right?
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So if you go back to work immediately after, oh my God, you're a bad man.
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If you go to, if you stay at home, you are a bad mom as well.
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So everything that we do is always can be seen as we are bad mom, any, anything that we do, right?
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So it's difficult, I think to, to say and decide like, you know what, uh, I don't care about the expectations that you guys have of me.
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I'm just gonna do what I feel right now.
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It's difficult to do that.
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It's.
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It's really hard.
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Yeah.
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It, it, it's so hard and I think it's important that we all recognize that having it all is whatever you define as.
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All right.
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I had someone say this to me recently.
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Um, we were talking about the idea of like what it takes to be the best in the world at something, and we were talking about like, oh, you have to do this and this and this, and they're like, well, I'll never be, you know, the best.
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Football player in the world.
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And I'm like, yeah, but your world is really what you define it as.
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You could be, your world might be in your community, your world might be your state, your world might be your city, your world.
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The word world doesn't literally mean of all people on the planet.
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It could just mean whatever your world is.
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And I think all has that same kind of connotation here.
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Like you can have it all, but you get to define what all is and it is really hard.
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To not sit there and take the judgment from other women people that you work with, your own family to say like, well, you don't have the all that I want, so therefore it's the wrong all.
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Yeah, yeah.
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The wrong, all the defensive.
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So if someone is hearing this and, and they're in a state of transition, or they're just hearing this and saying, okay, this is a wake up call for me, and they're looking to, to make a change or to do something different, or just explore the possibility of.
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Finding their all, what is the first thing that you would have them do?
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Oh, that's a nice question.
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Well, I don't know if I would start with values.
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Values has to be there for sure.
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That's an exercise that we have to do, right?
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So what are the values that you have in your life?
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What is your another star?
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What is what you know, no matter what you're gonna follow through.
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That's one exercise for sure that I would do.
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Uh, another will be just to start exploring, right?
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What do you really want?
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Like get about everyone and everything that you have around you, right?
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Just strip you out of everything that is surrounding you, and then what do you really, really, really want?
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That's a question that we have to ask, right?
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Those are all, both really hard questions though, in my opinion because I'm, I'm sitting here thinking like, okay, I have only ever been an entrepreneur.
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I have heard people talk about values forever and ever, and I've been doing this for 15 years and I think that I have the values that I think I should have, right?
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The ones that everyone's like, these are the values you should have, but those aren't values unless they're your real values.
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And over these 15 years, I've really only come up with like.
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Two core values that are core to me and inform my decisions, and it taken me 15 years to uncover them.
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Um, but I think your, your comment about like, what do you really want?
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Strip it back.
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Like, not what do you think you should want?
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What, what does, what would you be proud to tell your mom that you want?
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Right?
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What do you really, truly want in your heart of hearts?
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And sometimes it's not as simple as like, I wanna work in graphic design.
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It could be I wanna wake up every morning and have freedom to create.
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Yeah, that it can be that.
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And sometimes it's simple.
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Simple.
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Like I remember, uh, one person told me that, look, I don't know what I want to do with my life, but I want to wake up in the morning and I don't want to rush.
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Yeah, I don't want to have the stress of taking my kids to school, blah, blah, blah, blah.
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And then I want to, whatever work I, whatever job I have, I just want to be calmly going there.
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If I have to drive, you know, I don't, I don't, I don't want to rush, right?
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So whatever she wanted at the end of the day was not to rush.
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She was like, and I want to come back from work and I want to go in the car just driving smoothly, you know?
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And then I arrive home and I don't have the stress to have to have dinner and stuff.
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No, I just want to have everything calming down.
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So then it's like, okay, so if this is where you want, how can we decide that?
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So what job do you have to have in order to have that in your life, if this is extremely so important for you?
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So sometimes it's not about like the, you know, because most of the times when we are thinking about, oh, what do I want?
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We start thinking about our job because at the end of the day, it's eight hours of our lives.
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Eight or 10 or 12 sometimes, right?
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So we start with those things, but a maybe sometimes a little bit more simple than that.
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Like what do you, what are you lacking right now in your life?
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What is annoying you in your life?
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What is barking in your life right now?
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So sometimes those type of type of questions are more important than defining the big, big, like, wow, I want to have, like, I want to do this, uh, as a job and I want to have a, a partner, or I want to.
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Have kids, right?
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Sometimes it's like, no, I just want to have a calm life, or I just want to live in a place where there's no noise or there's no publicity and, and, um, branding everything coming in in my face.
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Right.
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Hmm.
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Interesting.
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Okay, so if that is so important for you, let, let's try to decide everything else around that.
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I think that that's really important too because everything you just talked about has nothing to do with your skills or your talents or what you're good at, because honestly, there's probably like your skills and your talents, you will have something that somebody needs somewhere.
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If.
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We can just position it.
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Right.
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But the other thing that I like that you aren't talking about here, and, and so many people who deliver similar coaching services will talk about your passion, the thing that you're passionate about, the thing that you love.
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And I, I love that you're saying, I we're not gonna talk about the thing that you love to do.
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'cause that can change.
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You can transform.
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We loved our work and then we had kids and our lives changed and like things changed.
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So, you know, not focusing on passion, but focusing on what you.
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Truly, deeply want and need in order to be a fulfilled human being.
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I think that that is such a smart way to think about it rather than what are you good at and what do you love to do?
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Yeah.
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And I can be very good at, I'm very good at cycling.
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I am, I have always been very good at cycling.
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I want that to be part of my life.
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Do you even want to do it?
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No.
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You know, cycling takes me an hour and a half if I actually want to do some exercise, do I?
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No, I don't wanna do that.
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You know it.
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You can be very good at certain things that then you don't want to actually do them Yeah, I mean, you're good at cycling.
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Does, does that mean yet you wanna be a Peloton instructor who leads classes across the world?
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Like actually.
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maybe, but not necessarily.
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Right, right.
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I mean, it's, it's good like to check out the Iki guy, right?
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Like, okay, what are you passionate about?
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Blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:15:41.419 --> 00:15:51.259
So that, that little niche, maybe it's, it is, maybe it helps you into reaching out to that conclusion of, okay, maybe, maybe this is what I want to do in life.
00:15:51.529 --> 00:15:53.869
But then the other things sometimes are more important.
00:15:54.049 --> 00:16:00.083
If you told me that you love nature, then if you love nature, maybe a job in Dubai is not your thing.
00:16:01.225 --> 00:16:01.495
Yeah.
00:16:01.578 --> 00:16:02.448
For example, right?
00:16:02.929 --> 00:16:10.969
Uh, it, so there are certain things that some people told me like, oh, I couldn't live in a place where it's raining all the time.
00:16:11.629 --> 00:16:14.448
Okay, so let's design your life.
00:16:14.779 --> 00:16:16.279
Taking that into account.
00:16:17.448 --> 00:16:23.538
Or I couldn't live in a place where there is, uh, too much consumerism.
00:16:24.109 --> 00:16:25.729
Okay, good to know that.
00:16:26.028 --> 00:16:33.769
So sometimes there are deeper things than just what I want to do or what I love doing, or what I am at.
00:16:35.559 --> 00:16:42.160
And I think the, the next step of that conversation is what are you willing to sacrifice to have those things that you want?
00:16:42.160 --> 00:16:42.370
Right?
00:16:42.370 --> 00:16:43.450
So I live in Iowa.
00:16:43.480 --> 00:16:45.039
We get really wicked winners here.
00:16:45.100 --> 00:16:47.830
Like I, I can't do the Celsius conversion, but very cold.
00:16:48.160 --> 00:16:51.400
Like to the point where if you're outside for 10 minutes, your eyeballs will freeze.
00:16:52.145 --> 00:16:53.254
Because it's so cold.
00:16:53.525 --> 00:16:55.745
And I joke every year with my husband, I'm like, why do we live here?
00:16:55.745 --> 00:16:57.605
We have to like, we need to find somewhere else to live.
00:16:57.605 --> 00:16:59.015
I need to live somewhere warm.
00:16:59.405 --> 00:17:01.924
But I don't really do that 'cause we've been here for 35 years.
00:17:01.924 --> 00:17:04.205
So clearly I don't really need that.
00:17:04.385 --> 00:17:06.934
I'm not willing to trade off being close to my family.
00:17:07.174 --> 00:17:11.375
I'm not willing to trade off being close to, you know, living in the house that we live in.
00:17:11.766 --> 00:17:19.236
And so, stripping away what is a, what is a need and, and something that you are willing to give up other things in order to have.
00:17:19.534 --> 00:17:19.804
Yeah.
00:17:20.223 --> 00:17:20.463
Yeah.
00:17:20.463 --> 00:17:25.773
And that's very important also because right now, you know, we are telling young people you can be whatever you want to be.
00:17:26.644 --> 00:17:26.855
Yeah.
00:17:26.855 --> 00:17:27.328
There's a caveat.
00:17:27.596 --> 00:17:33.184
There's a whole bunch of parentheses behind that says If, if, if, if, if, Exactly.
00:17:33.214 --> 00:17:35.585
So if you are willing to sacrifice a lot, right?
00:17:36.244 --> 00:17:38.105
I want to be an Olympian swimmer.
00:17:38.164 --> 00:17:40.984
Okay, you can do that now.
00:17:40.984 --> 00:17:46.414
Know that you will have to work hard, very hard and, and sacrifice lots of things.
00:17:46.564 --> 00:17:52.534
And there were many things that you cannot do that young people your age are gonna be able to do.
00:17:53.523 --> 00:17:53.734
Yeah.
00:17:53.734 --> 00:17:58.085
So depending on, yeah, what are we willing to let go?
00:17:58.174 --> 00:17:59.734
What are we willing to sacrifice?
00:18:00.400 --> 00:18:00.760
Right.
00:18:00.910 --> 00:18:03.250
Tell us a little bit more about your coaching company.
00:18:03.250 --> 00:18:06.820
It's called Bear and Brave, so tell us more about that.
00:18:06.820 --> 00:18:12.640
What, what inspired you to start the company and what do you really feel like is the difference that you make in people's lives?
00:18:13.834 --> 00:18:14.375
be brave.
00:18:14.615 --> 00:18:15.125
Came in.
00:18:15.365 --> 00:18:18.740
Uh, this is so something funny because I'm being a Spanish speaker.
00:18:18.819 --> 00:18:21.378
I cannot properly pronounce my.
00:18:23.320 --> 00:18:24.490
That makes it more endearing.
00:18:24.490 --> 00:18:24.941
I love it.
00:18:26.284 --> 00:18:27.154
Oh, that's so funny.
00:18:27.154 --> 00:18:30.034
I remember the first time I said it and it was in English, man.
00:18:30.125 --> 00:18:32.855
And he was like, bird like, like a bird?
00:18:32.855 --> 00:18:34.444
Like, and like, no, not that one.
00:18:34.444 --> 00:18:35.134
Not that one.
00:18:35.326 --> 00:18:35.830
No, no, no.
00:18:35.830 --> 00:18:36.641
Like the naked one.
00:18:36.814 --> 00:18:37.263
Yeah.
00:18:37.263 --> 00:18:38.164
The naked one.
00:18:38.164 --> 00:18:38.523
Yeah.
00:18:39.064 --> 00:18:40.834
So bird rabies come in, uh.
00:18:42.003 --> 00:18:49.474
If I, like, I was thinking of like, how do I, how do I put courageous authenticity in a brand, right?
00:18:49.534 --> 00:18:53.134
That was for me, like, okay, um, I, I cannot say courageous authenticity.
00:18:53.134 --> 00:18:59.134
I don't want to call my, my company courageous authenticity, but I would something that will symbolize that, right?
00:18:59.134 --> 00:19:01.984
So that's why I said Bird and brave.
00:19:02.013 --> 00:19:07.144
I don't, and I like the B and b. Um, so that's where it's coming from, I think.
00:19:07.204 --> 00:19:07.923
Uh.
00:19:08.794 --> 00:19:14.314
I think if you're courageous enough to be authentic, then your life is so much easier.
00:19:15.484 --> 00:19:17.464
Your leadership is gonna be so much better.
00:19:18.544 --> 00:19:26.944
So, but, but it takes a lot to actually be bold, enough to be completely authentic.
00:19:28.444 --> 00:19:30.335
So that's where, where it's coming from.
00:19:30.394 --> 00:19:37.115
Um, what, uh, is the difference that, uh, we make, uh, with Burn Brave?
00:19:37.144 --> 00:19:37.835
So.
00:19:39.095 --> 00:19:41.794
Well, I think we go into leadership looking always.
00:19:41.794 --> 00:19:45.003
I mean, we don't look so much at the skills that you have, right?
00:19:45.003 --> 00:19:47.434
It's about who you want to be as a leader.
00:19:47.615 --> 00:19:49.503
What is gonna define your leadership?
00:19:49.894 --> 00:19:52.474
How do you want to do this?
00:19:52.984 --> 00:19:57.214
Uh, what is gonna, what are gonna be the values that are gonna define your leadership?
00:19:57.214 --> 00:19:58.460
So we go always.
00:19:59.359 --> 00:20:02.240
Looking in within to then come out.
00:20:02.569 --> 00:20:09.019
And that's, uh, that's the approach we take in everything we do, whether it is leadership training, leadership coaching, or team coaching.
00:20:09.439 --> 00:20:09.589
Right.
00:20:09.648 --> 00:20:13.094
We always look inside to then come out.
00:20:14.855 --> 00:20:14.974
I.
00:20:16.080 --> 00:20:23.881
Thinking about, you know, all of the incredible people that you, you know, or that you aspire to know, who else should we be listening to?
00:20:23.881 --> 00:20:25.026
Who else should we be paying attention to?
00:20:26.526 --> 00:20:29.586
That's a different, you know, who, like, who comes to me?
00:20:29.586 --> 00:20:34.895
Like the first, uh, the first thing is Stephen Barlett, I guess you, you know him.
00:20:35.465 --> 00:20:42.155
Uh, I think every, every person that he has in his show is so.
00:20:42.711 --> 00:20:44.661
It was so inspiring to me.
00:20:45.111 --> 00:20:48.740
You know, uh, it's, I mean, he's inspiring himself, right?
00:20:48.800 --> 00:20:52.580
Like, uh, all his story and everything is quite beautiful.
00:20:53.121 --> 00:21:03.201
Uh, but then it's about the interest or how he, who he brings into his show is talking about something.
00:21:04.175 --> 00:21:09.096
Particular something niche, something that is extremely important for all humans.
00:21:09.336 --> 00:21:12.125
So that's something that I, I really like about him.
00:21:12.605 --> 00:21:19.326
Uh, he can be talking today about nutrition and tomorrow about finance, and then about how to invest money in whatever, right?
00:21:19.685 --> 00:21:29.016
So that's, that, those, that's something that I really like, the diversity of topics that, uh, we can find, uh, thanks to him.
00:21:29.645 --> 00:21:31.925
That's, uh, something I, I really enjoy.
00:21:33.351 --> 00:21:35.451
Um, who else?
00:21:35.901 --> 00:21:38.540
Oh, there's someone that I really, really love.
00:21:38.540 --> 00:21:39.800
She's Spanish as well.
00:21:40.036 --> 00:21:45.986
Uh, uh, she, she looks at.
00:21:47.596 --> 00:21:49.691
Uh, lemme tell you the story.
00:21:49.691 --> 00:21:52.901
So, when I had my second child, it was also a very difficult child.
00:21:52.961 --> 00:21:56.381
Uh, a very, very difficult baby, uh, always crying.
00:21:56.385 --> 00:22:00.580
I, I didn't know what to do anymore, and I was getting myself like, very tense, right?
00:22:00.580 --> 00:22:03.221
Because I was like, oh my God, am I doing something wrong?
00:22:03.941 --> 00:22:07.090
So, uh, friend called me and she told me like, okay, go see.
00:22:07.945 --> 00:22:16.556
There is a, a physio and a osteopath and someone that is trained very well in, in many arts, I would say.
00:22:17.786 --> 00:22:24.326
And I went to her and I, as I sat down suddenly I felt like a lot of.
00:22:24.776 --> 00:22:25.465
Peace.
00:22:25.496 --> 00:22:28.586
I was like, oh my God, what is, what is this?
00:22:29.185 --> 00:22:31.526
And she works with energy, right?
00:22:31.615 --> 00:22:36.145
Uh, she doesn't even, like, she's a physio, but she doesn't even touch you.
00:22:36.145 --> 00:22:43.526
And suddenly just in her presence, you become so calm and she.
00:22:44.846 --> 00:22:48.476
Uh, she does this job, this is her job, so you can go to her clinic.
00:22:48.476 --> 00:22:56.185
And, but she also talks a lot about what she does, and it's, uh, it's, I think, quite magical, if you allow me the word.
00:22:56.875 --> 00:22:58.076
Uh, yeah.
00:22:58.076 --> 00:23:00.385
It's, I think something extremely special.
00:23:00.445 --> 00:23:05.395
Something that I haven't seen many times in my life.
00:23:06.205 --> 00:23:06.625
Yeah.
00:23:07.366 --> 00:23:07.997
Very cool.
00:23:08.326 --> 00:23:16.852
And if someone is hearing this and they are really connecting with you, they are ready to be courageous and authentic and they want to learn more, where can they find you online?
00:23:17.395 --> 00:23:19.945
They can find me bur I brave.
00:23:20.096 --> 00:23:23.965
Uh, bur as naked bur brave com.
00:23:23.996 --> 00:23:30.355
Uh, also on LinkedIn as mi ika, M-U-J-I-K-A.
00:23:30.355 --> 00:23:32.036
An pronunciation, actually it's mos.
00:23:33.536 --> 00:23:35.365
When I'm speaking English, I just say moca.
00:23:35.965 --> 00:23:43.465
Anyway, uh, yeah, I think those are the two easiest ways, um, on YouTube also, we have some presence but not so much.
00:23:43.675 --> 00:23:45.925
Trying to increase that a little bit.
00:23:47.291 --> 00:23:49.731
Well, thank you so much for coming on, taking back Monday.
00:23:49.731 --> 00:23:54.382
This was a really important conversation and I hope everybody got as much out of it as I did.
00:23:54.655 --> 00:23:56.066
Thank you Elissa, for having me here.
00:23:56.070 --> 00:24:00.355
It was a pleasure to be hear and having a conversation, deep conversation with you.
00:00:01.205 --> 00:00:04.535
Hey, you are listening to Taking Back Monday.
00:00:04.716 --> 00:00:08.945
My name is Alyssa Nolte And my name is Mireia Mujika.
00:00:09.816 --> 00:00:11.406
And we are gonna get right into it.
00:00:11.406 --> 00:00:13.986
So tell us what is your origin story?
00:00:14.939 --> 00:00:25.710
So, well, I think the origin of story is, uh, when I, I had my first child and that was back in 2000.
00:00:26.864 --> 00:00:37.695
17 and I went back to after six months of maternity leave, I actually went back to to work and I couldn't handle it.
00:00:38.115 --> 00:00:51.975
I just couldn't, uh, for me it was extremely hard to leave my little one that was only six months old with a complete stranger in my house and me going to work.
00:00:52.304 --> 00:01:00.045
But I was not like saving lives or doing something extremely necessary for the world, right?
00:01:00.104 --> 00:01:03.104
So I, I, I couldn't really handle it.
00:01:03.494 --> 00:01:06.704
But then I said like, you know, maybe I'm being too extreme.
00:01:06.704 --> 00:01:09.405
Like, why don't I give, I'm a little bit of time to myself.
00:01:09.405 --> 00:01:12.674
Maybe I have to change career or I have to change jobs.
00:01:13.004 --> 00:01:13.814
And that's what I did.
00:01:13.814 --> 00:01:15.164
I changed, I changed jobs.
00:01:15.909 --> 00:01:23.978
And as soon as I went, I, I was three months in, in the other job, then suddenly I felt like, nah, this is not right.
00:01:24.069 --> 00:01:25.509
I just want to go home.
00:01:25.509 --> 00:01:28.840
I want I, I want to do this in a very different way.
00:01:29.620 --> 00:01:34.569
And at that time I was thinking about my maternity, not so much about my work, right?
00:01:34.569 --> 00:01:35.259
But then.
00:01:35.543 --> 00:01:41.694
Before quitting my job, I, someone told me, oh, you know, there is this course starting on Monday.
00:01:41.694 --> 00:01:42.444
That was Saturday.
00:01:42.894 --> 00:01:45.203
And she was like, starting on Monday, there is this course.
00:01:45.203 --> 00:01:46.043
Why don't you join?
00:01:46.043 --> 00:01:47.304
I think you are gonna love it.
00:01:47.814 --> 00:01:48.894
It was a coaching course.
00:01:48.894 --> 00:01:51.174
I was like, um, whatever.
00:01:51.174 --> 00:01:54.983
I'm gonna just join in, you know, uh, why not?
00:01:56.334 --> 00:01:57.743
So I went.
00:01:58.483 --> 00:02:03.733
In, and then, I mean, this were like, uh, a weekend, then another weekend.
00:02:03.733 --> 00:02:12.164
And on the third weekend I actually said like, okay, yeah, I'm, I'm for sure within my job and I think I know what I'm gonna be doing the rest of my life.
00:02:12.914 --> 00:02:16.155
And that's how I started, uh, coaching, my coaching journey.
00:02:16.155 --> 00:02:18.044
I started as a life coach.
00:02:18.104 --> 00:02:22.185
Uh, and then I've been, um, going into leadership coaching.
00:02:23.685 --> 00:02:30.409
I think that that is such a. A common challenge that we face as women, right?
00:02:30.409 --> 00:02:32.868
Because, so I have always been an entrepreneur.
00:02:32.929 --> 00:02:34.908
I have always been my own boss in a way.
00:02:34.939 --> 00:02:43.049
And when I went back after my first, um, I had him in 2015 and he was a very difficult baby.
00:02:43.669 --> 00:02:45.530
So like screaming, crying all the time.
00:02:45.530 --> 00:02:50.569
So I'm not gonna lie to you, I was pretty ready to go back to work because, um, you know, it was, it was hard.
00:02:50.569 --> 00:02:51.020
He was hard.
00:02:51.020 --> 00:02:53.330
And I will say that to, he's 10 now, and I tell him that all the time.
00:02:53.330 --> 00:02:54.560
I'm like, you were a hard baby.
00:02:54.800 --> 00:02:57.139
Um, I love you now, but you were real tough back then.
00:02:57.889 --> 00:03:08.419
And so for me, with that first one, it was really, really easy for me to go back because I wanted to be back at work because that's where I felt like myself again, my pre-baby self.
00:03:08.449 --> 00:03:12.919
Now, maybe if he would've been easier, that might've been a different story, but we have these.
00:03:14.134 --> 00:03:19.234
Dichotomies as women of, you know, if you are at work, you can't be a mom.
00:03:19.444 --> 00:03:21.484
And if you're a mom, you can't be at work.
00:03:21.843 --> 00:03:29.554
And these cultural identities that whether we give it to ourselves or our society gives it to us, it can be really hard.
00:03:29.554 --> 00:03:35.375
And, and for a lot of people, motherhood becomes a catalyst to help you see what you really want.
00:03:36.274 --> 00:03:37.683
So tell us more about coaching.
00:03:37.683 --> 00:03:41.314
What was it about coaching specifically that made you say.
00:03:41.675 --> 00:03:42.155
Yes.
00:03:42.155 --> 00:03:44.134
This is the happy in between for me.
00:03:45.437 --> 00:03:51.223
Well for me it was, you know, that reconnection with myself, right?
00:03:51.223 --> 00:03:59.592
I, I like for me, I. Like the day that my born, my, my, my, my first child was born.
00:03:59.848 --> 00:04:01.393
I, I was reborn as well.
00:04:01.423 --> 00:04:03.372
Like, it was such a change for me.
00:04:03.372 --> 00:04:16.062
It was such a, I really like, I, I really see it as, as me being born again because it was a, I was a different person completely and suddenly I didn't know myself.
00:04:16.122 --> 00:04:16.454
Right?
00:04:16.512 --> 00:04:22.807
So from one day to the other, it's like something really changed inside me and I didn't know who I was anymore.
00:04:23.473 --> 00:04:28.213
And what did I like or like all the things that were changing inside me.
00:04:28.632 --> 00:04:36.103
So coaching gave me that, right, like that reconnection with myself, and it didn't, I didn't need to go back to who I was.
00:04:36.403 --> 00:04:38.202
I actually wanted to go forward.
00:04:38.473 --> 00:04:43.363
I, I, for me, who I was before my babies was not gonna come back.
00:04:43.692 --> 00:04:44.322
Like, that's it.
00:04:44.382 --> 00:04:46.093
That, that was closed for me.
00:04:46.303 --> 00:04:48.103
I didn't want to go back that door.
00:04:48.223 --> 00:04:49.153
I wanted to go forward.
00:04:49.153 --> 00:04:51.372
I wanted to see like, okay, so now that I have.
00:04:51.869 --> 00:04:57.298
This baby in my life and I know that everything in me has changed.
00:04:57.538 --> 00:04:59.038
So who do I want to be?
00:04:59.577 --> 00:05:01.228
And coaching gave me that.
00:05:01.497 --> 00:05:05.608
Coaching, gave me like look like that feeling of like no judgment as well.
00:05:05.608 --> 00:05:05.937
Right.
00:05:06.208 --> 00:05:07.767
And going into that.
00:05:08.803 --> 00:05:18.793
A scene where you can say, and you can decide like, okay, you know this, these are my new values now this is what I want to do and I think this is who I want to be.
00:05:19.122 --> 00:05:25.903
And also it was giving me a way to say like, wow, and I don't even need to do the work that I used to do.
00:05:25.932 --> 00:05:31.153
I can actually completely change careers and do something else that probably is more fulfilling.
00:05:31.887 --> 00:05:36.178
Don't get me wrong, I used to love what I used to do before I used to do the product management.
00:05:36.178 --> 00:05:38.158
I used to love it, love it.
00:05:38.369 --> 00:05:41.997
But suddenly I went back and ah, I was a different person.
00:05:42.447 --> 00:05:45.208
Couldn't get so interested anymore.
00:05:45.718 --> 00:05:51.627
So yeah, coaching gave me that, that new perspective in myself.
00:05:52.519 --> 00:06:07.519
I think it's really important too, and this is something that we see in a lot of people, whether you have a life transforming moment like becoming a mother, or you just look up and look around and realize that the life you are living is not the one you.
00:06:07.879 --> 00:06:09.228
Really wanted it to be right.
00:06:09.228 --> 00:06:16.459
And I think we have to give ourselves permission to, to mourn the person we never became and to mourn the person that we used to be.
00:06:16.459 --> 00:06:25.339
But if you just sit there and say, well, this is the way the world is for me, then you are really just allowing that world to happen to you.
00:06:25.339 --> 00:06:32.329
I, I made a joke before we started recording that I'm either, I'm either surviving or I'm thriving and there is no in-between.
00:06:32.689 --> 00:06:35.238
And most of the time I am thriving like I am.
00:06:35.238 --> 00:06:37.459
I'm genuinely happy in what I do.
00:06:37.999 --> 00:06:43.189
It's because I have truly looked around and said, these are the things that I want for myself.
00:06:43.218 --> 00:06:53.779
These are the opportunities that I would like to pursue, and it is really hard to say the thing that I thought I wanted, I don't want anymore, and that's okay.
00:06:53.928 --> 00:06:56.418
And to give it up and to move on and to try something new.
00:06:56.713 --> 00:06:57.043
Yeah.
00:06:57.642 --> 00:06:58.033
Yeah.
00:06:58.033 --> 00:07:00.072
But I think that is extremely hard.
00:07:00.072 --> 00:07:00.312
Right?
00:07:00.317 --> 00:07:03.403
And, and as you say, sometimes we fall into life.
00:07:03.463 --> 00:07:05.952
Like we, we, we don't design it for ourselves.
00:07:06.603 --> 00:07:09.843
We don't do that also with relationships.
00:07:09.843 --> 00:07:11.403
We don't design our relationships.
00:07:11.403 --> 00:07:13.202
We should be designing our relationship.
00:07:13.202 --> 00:07:15.093
We should be designing our lives.
00:07:15.093 --> 00:07:15.452
Right.
00:07:15.723 --> 00:07:16.713
But we don't do that.
00:07:16.744 --> 00:07:21.963
We, we pass on, we, we live up to expectations of others.
00:07:22.023 --> 00:07:22.353
Right.
00:07:22.892 --> 00:07:24.273
And also I think, uh.
00:07:25.812 --> 00:07:28.007
My generation, I think you are a little bit younger than me.
00:07:28.557 --> 00:07:29.713
Younger than me, I dunno.
00:07:30.553 --> 00:07:41.358
Uh, but my generation, we were told that a, as a woman, you know, you can have a career, you can have uh, you can have children, you can have family, you can do everything that is in You can have it.
00:07:41.358 --> 00:07:43.064
All You have all, the phrase.
00:07:43.663 --> 00:07:44.562
that was it, right?
00:07:45.012 --> 00:07:47.562
And then for me it was like, what?
00:07:48.583 --> 00:07:52.632
Who's told me that that was such a life for me in that moment, right?
00:07:54.192 --> 00:07:56.502
And I, at that moment, I didn't want to work.
00:07:57.312 --> 00:08:08.952
And for me it was difficult to explain to people like, Hey, no, I actually want to go back home and I want to stay home and I want to quit and I don't want to be working for like a year at least.
00:08:09.163 --> 00:08:09.432
Right.
00:08:09.642 --> 00:08:10.632
But people would not.
00:08:11.908 --> 00:08:17.098
I mean, I remember people telling me, I, you won't be able to, like in three months we'll be sitting back to work.
00:08:17.098 --> 00:08:18.838
And I was like, nah, no, no.
00:08:19.408 --> 00:08:20.788
Making this decision.
00:08:20.997 --> 00:08:21.718
I don't want to.
00:08:22.108 --> 00:08:24.627
And then like all the judgment that we have, right?
00:08:24.807 --> 00:08:28.767
So if you go back to work immediately after, oh my God, you're a bad man.
00:08:28.947 --> 00:08:32.634
If you go to, if you stay at home, you are a bad mom as well.
00:08:32.958 --> 00:08:39.107
So everything that we do is always can be seen as we are bad mom, any, anything that we do, right?
00:08:39.739 --> 00:08:50.509
So it's difficult, I think to, to say and decide like, you know what, uh, I don't care about the expectations that you guys have of me.
00:08:50.868 --> 00:08:52.847
I'm just gonna do what I feel right now.
00:08:52.908 --> 00:08:54.198
It's difficult to do that.
00:08:54.198 --> 00:08:54.288
It's.
00:08:54.964 --> 00:08:55.923
It's really hard.
00:08:55.923 --> 00:08:56.374
Yeah.
00:08:56.379 --> 00:09:03.844
It, it, it's so hard and I think it's important that we all recognize that having it all is whatever you define as.
00:09:04.114 --> 00:09:05.163
All right.
00:09:05.163 --> 00:09:07.203
I had someone say this to me recently.
00:09:07.264 --> 00:09:16.203
Um, we were talking about the idea of like what it takes to be the best in the world at something, and we were talking about like, oh, you have to do this and this and this, and they're like, well, I'll never be, you know, the best.
00:09:16.609 --> 00:09:17.629
Football player in the world.
00:09:17.629 --> 00:09:19.999
And I'm like, yeah, but your world is really what you define it as.
00:09:19.999 --> 00:09:27.619
You could be, your world might be in your community, your world might be your state, your world might be your city, your world.
00:09:27.619 --> 00:09:31.879
The word world doesn't literally mean of all people on the planet.
00:09:31.908 --> 00:09:34.129
It could just mean whatever your world is.
00:09:34.158 --> 00:09:36.619
And I think all has that same kind of connotation here.
00:09:36.619 --> 00:09:42.349
Like you can have it all, but you get to define what all is and it is really hard.
00:09:42.724 --> 00:09:53.163
To not sit there and take the judgment from other women people that you work with, your own family to say like, well, you don't have the all that I want, so therefore it's the wrong all.
00:09:53.263 --> 00:09:54.388
Yeah, yeah.
00:09:54.448 --> 00:09:56.908
The wrong, all the defensive.
00:09:57.754 --> 00:10:12.094
So if someone is hearing this and, and they're in a state of transition, or they're just hearing this and saying, okay, this is a wake up call for me, and they're looking to, to make a change or to do something different, or just explore the possibility of.
00:10:12.514 --> 00:10:16.879
Finding their all, what is the first thing that you would have them do?
00:10:18.379 --> 00:10:19.789
Oh, that's a nice question.
00:10:20.269 --> 00:10:22.309
Well, I don't know if I would start with values.
00:10:22.309 --> 00:10:23.688
Values has to be there for sure.
00:10:23.688 --> 00:10:25.818
That's an exercise that we have to do, right?
00:10:26.149 --> 00:10:29.179
So what are the values that you have in your life?
00:10:29.479 --> 00:10:30.979
What is your another star?
00:10:30.979 --> 00:10:33.964
What is what you know, no matter what you're gonna follow through.
00:10:34.789 --> 00:10:37.099
That's one exercise for sure that I would do.
00:10:37.818 --> 00:10:40.759
Uh, another will be just to start exploring, right?
00:10:40.908 --> 00:10:42.649
What do you really want?
00:10:42.918 --> 00:10:47.719
Like get about everyone and everything that you have around you, right?
00:10:47.749 --> 00:10:55.129
Just strip you out of everything that is surrounding you, and then what do you really, really, really want?
00:10:55.399 --> 00:10:56.923
That's a question that we have to ask, right?
00:10:57.985 --> 00:11:04.884
Those are all, both really hard questions though, in my opinion because I'm, I'm sitting here thinking like, okay, I have only ever been an entrepreneur.
00:11:05.065 --> 00:11:13.434
I have heard people talk about values forever and ever, and I've been doing this for 15 years and I think that I have the values that I think I should have, right?
00:11:13.434 --> 00:11:19.014
The ones that everyone's like, these are the values you should have, but those aren't values unless they're your real values.
00:11:19.014 --> 00:11:21.205
And over these 15 years, I've really only come up with like.
00:11:21.774 --> 00:11:27.325
Two core values that are core to me and inform my decisions, and it taken me 15 years to uncover them.
00:11:27.774 --> 00:11:31.195
Um, but I think your, your comment about like, what do you really want?
00:11:32.440 --> 00:11:33.250
Strip it back.
00:11:33.250 --> 00:11:35.440
Like, not what do you think you should want?
00:11:35.830 --> 00:11:40.059
What, what does, what would you be proud to tell your mom that you want?
00:11:40.120 --> 00:11:40.360
Right?
00:11:40.360 --> 00:11:43.389
What do you really, truly want in your heart of hearts?
00:11:43.419 --> 00:11:47.830
And sometimes it's not as simple as like, I wanna work in graphic design.
00:11:48.220 --> 00:11:51.965
It could be I wanna wake up every morning and have freedom to create.
00:11:53.673 --> 00:11:56.254
Yeah, that it can be that.
00:11:56.464 --> 00:11:57.663
And sometimes it's simple.
00:11:57.663 --> 00:11:58.053
Simple.
00:11:58.293 --> 00:12:07.594
Like I remember, uh, one person told me that, look, I don't know what I want to do with my life, but I want to wake up in the morning and I don't want to rush.
00:12:08.073 --> 00:12:12.484
Yeah, I don't want to have the stress of taking my kids to school, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:12:12.994 --> 00:12:19.413
And then I want to, whatever work I, whatever job I have, I just want to be calmly going there.
00:12:19.413 --> 00:12:23.104
If I have to drive, you know, I don't, I don't, I don't want to rush, right?
00:12:23.313 --> 00:12:27.783
So whatever she wanted at the end of the day was not to rush.
00:12:28.744 --> 00:12:35.583
She was like, and I want to come back from work and I want to go in the car just driving smoothly, you know?
00:12:35.583 --> 00:12:39.244
And then I arrive home and I don't have the stress to have to have dinner and stuff.
00:12:39.424 --> 00:12:42.514
No, I just want to have everything calming down.
00:12:42.754 --> 00:12:46.563
So then it's like, okay, so if this is where you want, how can we decide that?
00:12:46.984 --> 00:12:53.224
So what job do you have to have in order to have that in your life, if this is extremely so important for you?
00:12:54.408 --> 00:13:00.288
So sometimes it's not about like the, you know, because most of the times when we are thinking about, oh, what do I want?
00:13:00.288 --> 00:13:04.698
We start thinking about our job because at the end of the day, it's eight hours of our lives.
00:13:04.729 --> 00:13:07.099
Eight or 10 or 12 sometimes, right?
00:13:07.788 --> 00:13:14.629
So we start with those things, but a maybe sometimes a little bit more simple than that.
00:13:14.688 --> 00:13:18.798
Like what do you, what are you lacking right now in your life?
00:13:20.299 --> 00:13:22.549
What is annoying you in your life?
00:13:22.609 --> 00:13:24.919
What is barking in your life right now?
00:13:25.429 --> 00:13:41.563
So sometimes those type of type of questions are more important than defining the big, big, like, wow, I want to have, like, I want to do this, uh, as a job and I want to have a, a partner, or I want to.
00:13:42.364 --> 00:13:43.504
Have kids, right?
00:13:43.504 --> 00:13:57.184
Sometimes it's like, no, I just want to have a calm life, or I just want to live in a place where there's no noise or there's no publicity and, and, um, branding everything coming in in my face.
00:13:57.184 --> 00:13:57.453
Right.
00:13:57.964 --> 00:13:58.323
Hmm.
00:13:58.744 --> 00:13:59.524
Interesting.
00:13:59.674 --> 00:14:05.469
Okay, so if that is so important for you, let, let's try to decide everything else around that.
00:14:07.450 --> 00:14:21.294
I think that that's really important too because everything you just talked about has nothing to do with your skills or your talents or what you're good at, because honestly, there's probably like your skills and your talents, you will have something that somebody needs somewhere.
00:14:21.294 --> 00:14:21.455
If.
00:14:21.730 --> 00:14:22.600
We can just position it.
00:14:22.600 --> 00:14:22.929
Right.
00:14:23.320 --> 00:14:34.990
But the other thing that I like that you aren't talking about here, and, and so many people who deliver similar coaching services will talk about your passion, the thing that you're passionate about, the thing that you love.
00:14:35.049 --> 00:14:38.710
And I, I love that you're saying, I we're not gonna talk about the thing that you love to do.
00:14:38.740 --> 00:14:39.639
'cause that can change.
00:14:39.789 --> 00:14:40.600
You can transform.
00:14:40.600 --> 00:14:44.620
We loved our work and then we had kids and our lives changed and like things changed.
00:14:44.980 --> 00:14:48.220
So, you know, not focusing on passion, but focusing on what you.
00:14:48.820 --> 00:14:52.509
Truly, deeply want and need in order to be a fulfilled human being.
00:14:52.509 --> 00:14:57.970
I think that that is such a smart way to think about it rather than what are you good at and what do you love to do?
00:14:58.519 --> 00:14:58.849
Yeah.
00:14:59.809 --> 00:15:04.068
And I can be very good at, I'm very good at cycling.
00:15:04.489 --> 00:15:06.739
I am, I have always been very good at cycling.
00:15:07.099 --> 00:15:09.259
I want that to be part of my life.
00:15:09.438 --> 00:15:10.489
Do you even want to do it?
00:15:10.549 --> 00:15:10.999
No.
00:15:10.999 --> 00:15:15.529
You know, cycling takes me an hour and a half if I actually want to do some exercise, do I?
00:15:15.889 --> 00:15:17.899
No, I don't wanna do that.
00:15:18.259 --> 00:15:19.284
You know it.
00:15:20.974 --> 00:15:27.325
You can be very good at certain things that then you don't want to actually do them Yeah, I mean, you're good at cycling.
00:15:27.325 --> 00:15:31.254
Does, does that mean yet you wanna be a Peloton instructor who leads classes across the world?
00:15:31.254 --> 00:15:31.839
Like actually.
00:15:32.035 --> 00:15:34.345
maybe, but not necessarily.
00:15:34.375 --> 00:15:36.205
Right, right.
00:15:36.769 --> 00:15:39.349
I mean, it's, it's good like to check out the Iki guy, right?
00:15:39.409 --> 00:15:40.789
Like, okay, what are you passionate about?
00:15:40.789 --> 00:15:41.364
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:15:41.419 --> 00:15:51.259
So that, that little niche, maybe it's, it is, maybe it helps you into reaching out to that conclusion of, okay, maybe, maybe this is what I want to do in life.
00:15:51.529 --> 00:15:53.869
But then the other things sometimes are more important.
00:15:54.049 --> 00:16:00.083
If you told me that you love nature, then if you love nature, maybe a job in Dubai is not your thing.
00:16:01.225 --> 00:16:01.495
Yeah.
00:16:01.578 --> 00:16:02.448
For example, right?
00:16:02.929 --> 00:16:10.969
Uh, it, so there are certain things that some people told me like, oh, I couldn't live in a place where it's raining all the time.
00:16:11.629 --> 00:16:14.448
Okay, so let's design your life.
00:16:14.779 --> 00:16:16.279
Taking that into account.
00:16:17.448 --> 00:16:23.538
Or I couldn't live in a place where there is, uh, too much consumerism.
00:16:24.109 --> 00:16:25.729
Okay, good to know that.
00:16:26.028 --> 00:16:33.769
So sometimes there are deeper things than just what I want to do or what I love doing, or what I am at.
00:16:35.559 --> 00:16:42.160
And I think the, the next step of that conversation is what are you willing to sacrifice to have those things that you want?
00:16:42.160 --> 00:16:42.370
Right?
00:16:42.370 --> 00:16:43.450
So I live in Iowa.
00:16:43.480 --> 00:16:45.039
We get really wicked winners here.
00:16:45.100 --> 00:16:47.830
Like I, I can't do the Celsius conversion, but very cold.
00:16:48.160 --> 00:16:51.400
Like to the point where if you're outside for 10 minutes, your eyeballs will freeze.
00:16:52.145 --> 00:16:53.254
Because it's so cold.
00:16:53.525 --> 00:16:55.745
And I joke every year with my husband, I'm like, why do we live here?
00:16:55.745 --> 00:16:57.605
We have to like, we need to find somewhere else to live.
00:16:57.605 --> 00:16:59.015
I need to live somewhere warm.
00:16:59.405 --> 00:17:01.924
But I don't really do that 'cause we've been here for 35 years.
00:17:01.924 --> 00:17:04.205
So clearly I don't really need that.
00:17:04.385 --> 00:17:06.934
I'm not willing to trade off being close to my family.
00:17:07.174 --> 00:17:11.375
I'm not willing to trade off being close to, you know, living in the house that we live in.
00:17:11.766 --> 00:17:19.236
And so, stripping away what is a, what is a need and, and something that you are willing to give up other things in order to have.
00:17:19.534 --> 00:17:19.804
Yeah.
00:17:20.223 --> 00:17:20.463
Yeah.
00:17:20.463 --> 00:17:25.773
And that's very important also because right now, you know, we are telling young people you can be whatever you want to be.
00:17:26.644 --> 00:17:26.855
Yeah.
00:17:26.855 --> 00:17:27.328
There's a caveat.
00:17:27.596 --> 00:17:33.184
There's a whole bunch of parentheses behind that says If, if, if, if, if, Exactly.
00:17:33.214 --> 00:17:35.585
So if you are willing to sacrifice a lot, right?
00:17:36.244 --> 00:17:38.105
I want to be an Olympian swimmer.
00:17:38.164 --> 00:17:40.984
Okay, you can do that now.
00:17:40.984 --> 00:17:46.414
Know that you will have to work hard, very hard and, and sacrifice lots of things.
00:17:46.564 --> 00:17:52.534
And there were many things that you cannot do that young people your age are gonna be able to do.
00:17:53.523 --> 00:17:53.734
Yeah.
00:17:53.734 --> 00:17:58.085
So depending on, yeah, what are we willing to let go?
00:17:58.174 --> 00:17:59.734
What are we willing to sacrifice?
00:18:00.400 --> 00:18:00.760
Right.
00:18:00.910 --> 00:18:03.250
Tell us a little bit more about your coaching company.
00:18:03.250 --> 00:18:06.820
It's called Bear and Brave, so tell us more about that.
00:18:06.820 --> 00:18:12.640
What, what inspired you to start the company and what do you really feel like is the difference that you make in people's lives?
00:18:13.834 --> 00:18:14.375
be brave.
00:18:14.615 --> 00:18:15.125
Came in.
00:18:15.365 --> 00:18:18.740
Uh, this is so something funny because I'm being a Spanish speaker.
00:18:18.819 --> 00:18:21.378
I cannot properly pronounce my.
00:18:23.320 --> 00:18:24.490
That makes it more endearing.
00:18:24.490 --> 00:18:24.941
I love it.
00:18:26.284 --> 00:18:27.154
Oh, that's so funny.
00:18:27.154 --> 00:18:30.034
I remember the first time I said it and it was in English, man.
00:18:30.125 --> 00:18:32.855
And he was like, bird like, like a bird?
00:18:32.855 --> 00:18:34.444
Like, and like, no, not that one.
00:18:34.444 --> 00:18:35.134
Not that one.
00:18:35.326 --> 00:18:35.830
No, no, no.
00:18:35.830 --> 00:18:36.641
Like the naked one.
00:18:36.814 --> 00:18:37.263
Yeah.
00:18:37.263 --> 00:18:38.164
The naked one.
00:18:38.164 --> 00:18:38.523
Yeah.
00:18:39.064 --> 00:18:40.834
So bird rabies come in, uh.
00:18:42.003 --> 00:18:49.474
If I, like, I was thinking of like, how do I, how do I put courageous authenticity in a brand, right?
00:18:49.534 --> 00:18:53.134
That was for me, like, okay, um, I, I cannot say courageous authenticity.
00:18:53.134 --> 00:18:59.134
I don't want to call my, my company courageous authenticity, but I would something that will symbolize that, right?
00:18:59.134 --> 00:19:01.984
So that's why I said Bird and brave.
00:19:02.013 --> 00:19:07.144
I don't, and I like the B and b. Um, so that's where it's coming from, I think.
00:19:07.204 --> 00:19:07.923
Uh.
00:19:08.794 --> 00:19:14.314
I think if you're courageous enough to be authentic, then your life is so much easier.
00:19:15.484 --> 00:19:17.464
Your leadership is gonna be so much better.
00:19:18.544 --> 00:19:26.944
So, but, but it takes a lot to actually be bold, enough to be completely authentic.
00:19:28.444 --> 00:19:30.335
So that's where, where it's coming from.
00:19:30.394 --> 00:19:37.115
Um, what, uh, is the difference that, uh, we make, uh, with Burn Brave?
00:19:37.144 --> 00:19:37.835
So.
00:19:39.095 --> 00:19:41.794
Well, I think we go into leadership looking always.
00:19:41.794 --> 00:19:45.003
I mean, we don't look so much at the skills that you have, right?
00:19:45.003 --> 00:19:47.434
It's about who you want to be as a leader.
00:19:47.615 --> 00:19:49.503
What is gonna define your leadership?
00:19:49.894 --> 00:19:52.474
How do you want to do this?
00:19:52.984 --> 00:19:57.214
Uh, what is gonna, what are gonna be the values that are gonna define your leadership?
00:19:57.214 --> 00:19:58.460
So we go always.
00:19:59.359 --> 00:20:02.240
Looking in within to then come out.
00:20:02.569 --> 00:20:09.019
And that's, uh, that's the approach we take in everything we do, whether it is leadership training, leadership coaching, or team coaching.
00:20:09.439 --> 00:20:09.589
Right.
00:20:09.648 --> 00:20:13.094
We always look inside to then come out.
00:20:14.855 --> 00:20:14.974
I.
00:20:16.080 --> 00:20:23.881
Thinking about, you know, all of the incredible people that you, you know, or that you aspire to know, who else should we be listening to?
00:20:23.881 --> 00:20:25.026
Who else should we be paying attention to?
00:20:26.526 --> 00:20:29.586
That's a different, you know, who, like, who comes to me?
00:20:29.586 --> 00:20:34.895
Like the first, uh, the first thing is Stephen Barlett, I guess you, you know him.
00:20:35.465 --> 00:20:42.155
Uh, I think every, every person that he has in his show is so.
00:20:42.711 --> 00:20:44.661
It was so inspiring to me.
00:20:45.111 --> 00:20:48.740
You know, uh, it's, I mean, he's inspiring himself, right?
00:20:48.800 --> 00:20:52.580
Like, uh, all his story and everything is quite beautiful.
00:20:53.121 --> 00:21:03.201
Uh, but then it's about the interest or how he, who he brings into his show is talking about something.
00:21:04.175 --> 00:21:09.096
Particular something niche, something that is extremely important for all humans.
00:21:09.336 --> 00:21:12.125
So that's something that I, I really like about him.
00:21:12.605 --> 00:21:19.326
Uh, he can be talking today about nutrition and tomorrow about finance, and then about how to invest money in whatever, right?
00:21:19.685 --> 00:21:29.016
So that's, that, those, that's something that I really like, the diversity of topics that, uh, we can find, uh, thanks to him.
00:21:29.645 --> 00:21:31.925
That's, uh, something I, I really enjoy.
00:21:33.351 --> 00:21:35.451
Um, who else?
00:21:35.901 --> 00:21:38.540
Oh, there's someone that I really, really love.
00:21:38.540 --> 00:21:39.800
She's Spanish as well.
00:21:40.036 --> 00:21:45.986
Uh, uh, she, she looks at.
00:21:47.596 --> 00:21:49.691
Uh, lemme tell you the story.
00:21:49.691 --> 00:21:52.901
So, when I had my second child, it was also a very difficult child.
00:21:52.961 --> 00:21:56.381
Uh, a very, very difficult baby, uh, always crying.
00:21:56.385 --> 00:22:00.580
I, I didn't know what to do anymore, and I was getting myself like, very tense, right?
00:22:00.580 --> 00:22:03.221
Because I was like, oh my God, am I doing something wrong?
00:22:03.941 --> 00:22:07.090
So, uh, friend called me and she told me like, okay, go see.
00:22:07.945 --> 00:22:16.556
There is a, a physio and a osteopath and someone that is trained very well in, in many arts, I would say.
00:22:17.786 --> 00:22:24.326
And I went to her and I, as I sat down suddenly I felt like a lot of.
00:22:24.776 --> 00:22:25.465
Peace.
00:22:25.496 --> 00:22:28.586
I was like, oh my God, what is, what is this?
00:22:29.185 --> 00:22:31.526
And she works with energy, right?
00:22:31.615 --> 00:22:36.145
Uh, she doesn't even, like, she's a physio, but she doesn't even touch you.
00:22:36.145 --> 00:22:43.526
And suddenly just in her presence, you become so calm and she.
00:22:44.846 --> 00:22:48.476
Uh, she does this job, this is her job, so you can go to her clinic.
00:22:48.476 --> 00:22:56.185
And, but she also talks a lot about what she does, and it's, uh, it's, I think, quite magical, if you allow me the word.
00:22:56.875 --> 00:22:58.076
Uh, yeah.
00:22:58.076 --> 00:23:00.385
It's, I think something extremely special.
00:23:00.445 --> 00:23:05.395
Something that I haven't seen many times in my life.
00:23:06.205 --> 00:23:06.625
Yeah.
00:23:07.366 --> 00:23:07.997
Very cool.
00:23:08.326 --> 00:23:16.852
And if someone is hearing this and they are really connecting with you, they are ready to be courageous and authentic and they want to learn more, where can they find you online?
00:23:17.395 --> 00:23:19.945
They can find me bur I brave.
00:23:20.096 --> 00:23:23.965
Uh, bur as naked bur brave com.
00:23:23.996 --> 00:23:30.355
Uh, also on LinkedIn as mi ika, M-U-J-I-K-A.
00:23:30.355 --> 00:23:32.036
An pronunciation, actually it's mos.
00:23:33.536 --> 00:23:35.365
When I'm speaking English, I just say moca.
00:23:35.965 --> 00:23:43.465
Anyway, uh, yeah, I think those are the two easiest ways, um, on YouTube also, we have some presence but not so much.
00:23:43.675 --> 00:23:45.925
Trying to increase that a little bit.
00:23:47.291 --> 00:23:49.731
Well, thank you so much for coming on, taking back Monday.
00:23:49.731 --> 00:23:54.382
This was a really important conversation and I hope everybody got as much out of it as I did.
00:23:54.655 --> 00:23:56.066
Thank you Elissa, for having me here.
00:23:56.070 --> 00:24:00.355
It was a pleasure to be hear and having a conversation, deep conversation with you.
