Swing Thoughts 274 for December 2, 2024

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Yeah, it's been a while.
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It's been a minute and since we've all gathered together
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on the first team of another episode of Swing Thoughts.
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Of course, I'm golf Spiritual Leader. Over there is the man,
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the author, the racon tour, the storyteller, the sagacious one,
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author of Getting Unstuck, Perfect for the holiday season. It's
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Timberley O'Connor Jr. And it's good to be with you
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as always, my friends.
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Yeah, good morning. Is sagacious anywhere loquacious?
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If you had to guess the root word of sagacious
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being sage, yeah, it means wise one.
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Who's the word guy? Now? Who's the word guy?
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Know?
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Well, I mean you could if you ask in that way,
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I'd have to I'd have to guess it was me.
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Who's I mean? Locacious? I thinkacious, loquaciousious, loquacious. Uh sounds
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like a Roman senator, but in fact means somebody that
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is what uh loquacious, ability to tell stories, prone to
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talking a lot, uh, tending to talk a great deal, talkative.
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You know.
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Part of what are the things that we do on
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this podcast is expand people's horizons, make their you know, expand.
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Their their vocabulary.
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Absolute word what is it vocabulary sagacious, having or showing keen,
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mental discernment and good judgment shrewd mm hmm. That is
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quite the compliment I pay you, and I pay you
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that compliment unabashadorly. I just throw it out there. I
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don't I'm not holding back any of my feelings for you.
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This program baked fresh for you whenever we do it.
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It's been a few while. This is probably our longest break.
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Has it been at least three weeks? Maybe a month?
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At least three, perhaps four? Yes, as you said, And
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are people wondering what's going on? I know I am.
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Have we broken up?
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Did Tim and Howard have a tet a tet? No,
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we just had things to other things to do and
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have desired a bit of a break. I think that
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would that's close to the mark there.
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I think that, yeah, we needed a break, and there
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really hasn't been much golf going on, certainly in my life.
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And I'll share what I've been doing with you and
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the listeners at a moment as far as there is
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a break, and we're going to be doing our show,
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you know, as we do in the off season every
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few weeks to every three weeks. Tim's busy. I'm I've
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become I'm trying to get down to a single digit
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in yoga. It'll come in a minute. I'm going to
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tell you how many classes I did last week. It
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will it come as no surprise to you that I've
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replaced golf with yoga and Spanish lessons. And you, my friend,
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you're well. I read on your blog this morning that
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you are. I've just done some more Mankind stuff that's
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been keeping you busy.
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Yeah, yeah, I just came back, yeah, from staffing my
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twenty eighth New Warrior Training Adventure weekend, and it was
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really cool. It was different for me because I've been
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for most of my time in the Mankind Prize that
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I've been on what they call the leader track, heading
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towards certification and all that stuff, and I jumped off
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that about four years ago. And so this weekend I
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was invited to play the role of an elder, which
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at sixty seven years old, comes quite naturally.
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But I've especially given how sagacious you are.
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Exactly exactly and yeah, never mind.
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So I've actually been resisting this for a long time, thinking, oh,
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you know, I'm one of those guys out there work
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in and do running these processes.
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So it was quite a different thing, and I really
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enjoyed it.
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It was a completely different energy, more sort of of, oh,
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it's going to sound squishy to some people, sort of
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blessing energy and seeing people of being of a service
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in a different way. So I really really enjoyed it.
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Well, I'm glad to hear it, and I know that
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we've been talking about it for most of the nine
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years that we've been together doing this show about how
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you've been part of that the Mankind project. We probably
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explained it enough by now that regular listeners will know
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that it's the It's not about making men into warriors.
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It's about remaking men, helping them get to some of
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the spots, the shadows and the dark areas of our
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psyches that we don't like to investigate, but once once exhumed,
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can lead to some breakthroughs.
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Yeah, So bringing those parts of ourselves that are in
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our blind spots, that are kind of in the dark,
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and bringing those you know, into light into consciousness and
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now we can work on them. But it's not about
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you know, worshiping wounds.
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Oh my god, the world's going.
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To hell in a handbasket and all that kind of stuff.
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It's more about how can I show up in my
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world in a more positive way, you know, as a
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as a father, as a partner, as a community member,
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as a world citizen. Basically the slogan if you will.
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And I hate this kind of stuff, but I think
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it's Mankind Project is dedicated to making the world better,
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one man at a time. And what I like about
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it it's not preachy, it's secular. It's like, however you
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want to show up, great, everyone's welcome, and it's nonprofit,
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so there's no.
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Selling you stuff.
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It's you'll come to a weekend, have the experience, and
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men generally leave those things really excited at seeing new
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possibilities for themselves and seeing how capable they are, and yeah,
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about making a positive difference in the world.
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Which is never a bad thing. Are you saying that
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there's no Mankind Project tote bags? You can buy a
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little uh like some Mankind Project T shirts and total No.
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Yes, you could buy Mankind Project T shirts and hoodies
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and this kind of stuff. But what I'm saying is
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that when you do a Mankind weekend, there's no upsell.
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Oh you did the bronze package.
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Now we're going to sell you the silver package, and
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if you're really invested in the platinum, there's none of
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none of that stuff. And so anyways, it's yeah, I
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don't know, I get really, I don't know. My spidy
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senses always go up when these a lot of organizations
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bring you in and get you all excited and.
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Then they want to sell you stuff.
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Yeah.
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Of course, that's my own sense of cynicism that I
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have to work on because I think that, you know,
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Mankind Project isn't the only game in town in terms
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of this kind of stuff. There's lots of great organizations
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that are doing amazing work. But it's just I think
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that's part of my own bullshit that you know, I
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get a little bit, yeah, wondering what's this about? Is
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this really about helping out or making some money or
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maybe doing both?
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Isn't such a bad thing? Well, very good.
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I'm glad you enjoyed the experience, and as I said,
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a lot of listeners are familiar with the work you do.
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As I mentioned in my opening remarks, I haven't golf.
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This is the longest not only the break from doing
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the show with you, because how's of the way my
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schedule has worked out the last three years, where for instance,
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a year ago, right this moment, I was already in
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Mexico and had been there for the better part of
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November of twenty hundred and twenty three. And I haven't
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really had a break from golf for quite some time,
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not just the last year, but the last couple of years.
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And you know, it used to.
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Be before the proliferation of indoor golf, which has just
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gone crazy. I had lunch with our buddy Casey a
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couple of weeks ago, and the kind of plans that
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they're having there at Burlington Indoor Golf just amazing. And
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the fact that Sean stuck with it anyway, prior to
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the how you can go hit balls indoors on every
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other block. Now, I remember there was a time, and
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during the time that we've known each other, there were
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winters where I would take at least a month or
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two away from full on making full golf swings. But
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it's been a few years, and I think that and
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I didn't realize the toll it was taking on my
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body until I stopped doing it, Like I haven't really.
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I played golf on the seventh of November. That was
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the last time I played a full round of golf.
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And it's now the twenty seventh of November, since we've
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been taking our break, and so on the day we're
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recording this, it's been fully all those.
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Days since three weeks, if the math is if.
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Math serves me correctly, Yeah, it's been three weeks since
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I've I made a full golf swing, and just it's
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been great. And I you know, I've always done yoga.
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Usually during the golf season, I'll do yoga once a week,
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maybe twice. But this will come as no surprise to
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you that last week I did six classes.
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So I did six classes in eight days, sixth of them.
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See, there's the Howard that I profiled this year, in
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which pretty well every person I.
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Interviewed about you used the word intense.
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Oh yeah, I'm intense about my mindfulness people. But it's
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been good. I mean, I mean, and I've been doing
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like I worked up to it. The first couple of weeks,
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I did maybe three or four classes, and then last
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week just the way it worked out, and I thought, okay,
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that's that I found my point where that's too much.
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It really is.
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It's a lot of sweats a balance, He's a balance.
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But I will say this that not making full golf
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swings for those three weeks has been good in that
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I say, I've I've sort of given my some of
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the parts of me that have been inflamed. My my
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I have like some arthritis and my left thumb that
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has really been bugging me, and it really bugs me
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when I swing a golf club. And so it's gotten
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a little bit better things like that. And I again
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trying to balance the my love and my intense love
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of golf with giving it a bit of a break.
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And I just wonder if maybe some of our listeners
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if that's in uh instructor for them as well, to
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give it a bit of a rest in the off season.
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Oh, I think absolutely.
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You look at any athlete and elite athlete, they always
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building rest and this action and recovery, right, and it's
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so so important. And golfers, in their zeal and their
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compulsion say to get better or to fix the problem
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that they have that's driving them nuts, will overdo it.
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I know that a lot of golfers, I mean.
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We're talking like deep golf nerds, you know, people that
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are obsessive.
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Level people that are listening to this show exactly.
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So you play a game and let's say you're just
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not driving the ball well, you're pushing out in the woods,
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and so maybe going for one one little celebratory beverage
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with your group. But then you go on the range
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and you start looking for the cure to what the
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problem was. And here's the other problem. You've already played.
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You've already played eighteen holes of golf. You're tired mentally
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and physically, and there you are in this in this
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depleted state, trying to find some answer to your golf swing.
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And not only do you go further down the mental
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rabbit hole, but because you're not physically adept at that moment,
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you're not going to play well. So what tends to
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happen is you don't swing very well and you leave
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exhausted and more frustrated than when you got there. Not always,
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but that's really common.
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Yeah, oh absolutely, I mean, if that's not your jam,
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I mean I very often. You know, the guys I
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play with on Saturday make fun of me because if
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I'm one of the first groups out and we finish
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and I'm an hour and twenty minutes to wait while
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most of those guys go in and they just you know,
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sit around drinking beer.
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Which I do not do. So I will go out
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and hit balls.
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No, but I mean I'm going out there not so
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much to find, you know my generally, I'm not going
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there to find something. I'm going there to work on
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something that I've already been working on. It's not like
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but I'm again taking nothing away from your point that
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that's a frustrating thing to do. But back to the
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idea of taking a longer break in the winter than
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I have, I can't imagine it's not going to like
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I'm not.
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Part of me was a.
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Little bit worried, like, well, what about what will I
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lose anything? And I don't think I will, you know,
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I don't think now if I don't like, I'm not
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planning now to really go.
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It's November.
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I'm not really planning to golf anywhere until February. Now January,
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I'll probably start to make some swing so that when
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I do go golfing, I'll have some you know, sense
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of what I'm doing. But I'm definitely taking a couple
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of months away from it.
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Great.
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Great, but your body and brain don't forget how to
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swing a golf club. You've got I mean, you've however
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many years I've known you, now it's upwards of twelve
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or so. You've made some changes to your golf swing.
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But when I play golf with you, it looks like
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the same golf swing.
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Yeah, I know, crazy, huh, for all of us.
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You know. One of the greatest stories I heard was,
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so there's a legendary instructor in Wisconsin, a named Manuel Delatory,
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and just like saying his name, and he's.
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Really highly regarded.
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And so Moe Norman went and spent some time with
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Manuel Delatory, and he came back and he told him, Chanse,
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my swing changed my swing completely what everyone looked and
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it's the same old most swing, you know, And it's
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the same for all of us. That you look at
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your swing and you you know, haven't seen you know,
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Gern Blanston for five years. You look over three fairways
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and you go, I think that's Green Blanston.
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That is g And if anybody knows somebody named Gern,
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please write us.
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No good point, Steve Martin, No, I.
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Know, I know, and I know that name. It's a
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very good point that I've you know, I'm always working
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on something and then I'll film it and it's like,
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oh yeah, it looks pretty much. I Mean, where I
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think you can have an effect in the off season
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is things that are like not so hard in your body,
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Like you can work on your setup, you can work
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on your you can work on the ball position, you
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can work on I mean, I just don't want to
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go through the another entire winter where I'm making nothing.
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But you know, golf swing after golf swing is that
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was the thing that's helping me and I think mentally
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I need a break.
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So that's one thing.
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We were talking just before we hit record about some
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podcasts and I couldn't remember if we had recorded since
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you were on Carl The Carl Morris. But if anyone again,
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if sorry for our lack of memory, but if you
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haven't heard Tim on with Carl Morris, go check out
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the Mind Factor podcast. Is that what he's calling it?
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It's uh no, it's Mine Caddy, Mine Caddy. Yeah, so
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the Mind Caddy Podcast with Carl. I'm on it as
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well if you want to if you haven't heard that episode.
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And because of my appearance on that podcast, I recently
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recorded with a guy from Northern California named Kelvin Kelly
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Kelvin Kelly as a podcast, I would be really good
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if I knew the name of it, But go check
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him out. He's on Spotify and it was a very
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interesting conversation. He heard me talking about sobriety and so
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that's kind of well we talked about It's called the
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Kelvin Kelly Golf podcast, is what it is.
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Hmm, that's that's really interesting.
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What I'm really curious what were what was the core
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thing that you guys discussed.
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As perhaps released to golf. Well, we talked about how
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drinking had a physiological impact on me, but mentally that
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that physical like just my whole point to Kelvin and
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I've met I mentioned it on the show before too,
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that when I stopped there was a change in me,
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in me physiologically that affected me psychologically. That's kind of
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what we talked about, you know, better able to handle
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the the vagaries of the game, uh sober at least
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for me, it was a big difference. So that's kind
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of what we talked about.
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Yeah, that's that's really interesting because I've I've recently had
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some discussions with clients and some friends about alcohol. And
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one of the things that has come up from a
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couple of friends is they say that alcohol is a
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way in essence of avoiding yourself of the real things
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that are going on.
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And so, you know.
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A couple glasses of wine, a beer or two or
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whatever and maybe just kind of numbs out the stuff
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that's been bugging you or the things that you think.
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You know, I got to get around to that. And
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what I mean to that It could be having an
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awkward conversation dealing with the behavior that you don't like,
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that you want to change, but the alcohol is a
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way to kind of make it temporarily go away. Is
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that anywhere close to your experience?
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I would say that, you know, I drank to excess
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obviously to get away from yourself, you know, get away
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from myself. But what is that old thing? You know,
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wherever you go, there you are. But as far as
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how alcohol affects golfers, I mean, I think there's I
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play with a few guys that drink a lot on
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the golf course. I never did, you know, part of
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my competitive obsessiveness. I just didn't want to be drunk
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while I was playing, and didn't even drink that much,
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you know, with the boys. After a round, I drank
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a couple of beers, but that wasn't you know, for me.
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The serious drinking began when I got you know, and
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I got home. But for a lot of golfers, I
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think that, you know, especially the ones that drink during
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a round of golf, like Saturday morning, I play with
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some guys that are drinking beer pretty early in the day.
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Oh yeah, like weirdly so.
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And I mean that's I mean, that's the thing about
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golf as it kind of allows you to say. I mean,
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it's playing golf, I can have a few beers. It's
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nine to thirty, you know, it's ten o'clock in the morning. Yeah.
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No, it's the same.
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At the uh my coach at the golf house in
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golf and the uh so a lot of the scene.
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You go in there on a Tuesday at nine am,
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and some of the guys got like the uh you
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got the birded juice going seriously, yeah exactly. I know,
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it's kind of surprising, and I it's kind of like
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those guys, I don't know.
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He juice makes me laugh, I know, I know, go ahead,
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I'm sorry.
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Well that is actually a brand name to be honest. Really,
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yeah it is. Yeah, it's funny, lubricating fluid, whatever you
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want to call it.
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But it often makes me think.
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I mean, so you have two three four drinks, you
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drive home not so good, and then how do you
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show up with your partner just like you know, what
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do you do? Collapse on the couch, wake up and
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say what's for dinner? That wouldn't get it.
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In my house. I'll tell you that.
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No, I know, I've I've met I've met your boss.
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You're not gonna stand for that ship.
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Yeah, but it also makes me wonder.
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So also about those those guys married, most of them
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who like every Men's Night, they're there every Saturday, every Sunday, yeah,
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every holiday, they're there, Friday night they're there. I don't
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know how that union stays together. It's a it's a
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duct taper.
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I don't know.
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Well, that's a whole other conversation that I know. Sorry, no,
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that's fine, I'll just tell you. Back to Kelvin Kelly's
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golf podcast. You can go hear me on it as
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well as guests included Michael Hebron, Carl Morris. He's had
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some good names on there, Brad Lamb, not the one
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from the the Kondo Association, Jim Waldron Association. Who else
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has he had on?
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Anyway?
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Go check it out. Oh look at here episode two,
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Nick Price, and I see you get Nick Price. He's
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got led better on. I gotta call the guy and say, hey,
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can you give us your contact for Nick Price?
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Ohtually, I think I have a I might have a number.
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First, let's get Nick on the show. He's had Raymond
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Pryor on Foley Who does he think he is? Rubinstein?
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These are all our people. Oh, Bradley Hughes too. Anyway,
396
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we had them first, So we had them first. Somebody
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we had on our show. Here's I'm going to segue now,
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somebody we had on our show, somebody that I sort
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of stumbled upon. And a couple of people we used
400
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to refer to as my girlfriend. But Kathy Hart would
401
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oh yes, and.
402
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She was great.
403
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She has her own podcast called under par What is
404
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her podcast called over par? Something on whatever you're looking for?
405
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That her think about brothers. What it's called. Her brother
406
00:22:32.039 --> 00:22:32.799
played on the tour.
407
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That's right, Dudley Hart was her brother, Dudley Heart. Yeah,
408
00:22:36.720 --> 00:22:40.920
and so I picked this out because you and I,
409
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You and I and Kent, Kent and I, You and Kent.
410
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All variations of those three human beings have talked about
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this on our show, away from our show, with one another,
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in group discussions and individually. See that's loquacious, my friends,
413
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is loquacious. Manifest borders on that for both exactly. Oh yeah,
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I'm just I just I could keep going anyway. Kathy Heartwood,
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I get her newsletter or whatever, and it came in
416
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this morning. I thought, Oh, that's something that Tim and
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I could talk about, and that is gratitude. You and I, Ken,
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We've all been talking about gratitude as an integral component
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in the enjoyment of this game, not not getting better,
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but enjoying it. So Kathy's latest podcast, because it's American Thanksgiving,
421
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that's right, is her whole thing is about gratitude. And
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I like what she says here. It's gonna it's not
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going to be new to our listeners, but it is
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an interesting perspective talking about things you're grateful for around Thanksgiving.
425
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She said, But what if this Thanksgiving you started a
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new habit, one that not only improves your game, but
427
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also transforms how you handle challenges. Both on and off
428
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the court, and that is via gratitude. She says, it's
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not just for thanksgiving. It's a powerful tool that when
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practice daily, rewires your brain for resilience, calm and focus.
431
00:24:13.799 --> 00:24:16.119
One last sentence from her, and then we can talk
432
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about how this relates to what we do. Science shows
433
00:24:19.200 --> 00:24:23.359
it can improve gratitude, can improve your mood, reduce anxiety,
434
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and as a result, boosts your performance on the course.
435
00:24:28.519 --> 00:24:30.559
So if you're a fan of hers as I am,
436
00:24:30.599 --> 00:24:35.839
it's her latest podcast, Think Above of Par, Think Above Par.
437
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She talks a lot about this, and I was sorry
438
00:24:39.279 --> 00:24:40.759
to throw it back on you because I know that
439
00:24:40.799 --> 00:24:43.319
gratitude is an integral part of getting unstuck.
440
00:24:44.319 --> 00:24:44.480
Yeah.
441
00:24:44.559 --> 00:24:49.680
Yeah, there is the sixth practice among the seven transformational
442
00:24:49.720 --> 00:24:55.960
practices for golf nerds. Gratitude is a big piece and
443
00:24:56.039 --> 00:24:59.799
I think where golfers can make a direct connection to
444
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their game is that I look, gratitude is this way,
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Everything is just as it should be right now. I
446
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feel thankful for this moment. I feel thankful for my
447
00:25:12.440 --> 00:25:15.079
ability to play golf. I have the means to play golf.
448
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I have a healthy body, and when we're in that place,
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to me, the bonus of that is that we're in
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the present moment. There's no wanting, craving, ruminating, regretting. We're
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just in a really good place. And I think to
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play good golf, to enjoy the game, to experience, you know,
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the sun on your back, joking with your pals, your friends, family,
454
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that gratitude piece just it's like an anchor to being
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in a really good place, which is to me always
456
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generally in the present moment.
457
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Yeah, you know, I'm not saying that we started it
458
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or Canton, you and I whatever, but we've been talking
459
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about that for some time, about being in the present moment.
460
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What is the what are the pathways neural and otherwise
461
00:26:07.720 --> 00:26:10.519
to get you into that spot, whether it's the zone
462
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or whether it's a feeling of equanimity. But it's sort
463
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of interesting to me that she's been doing her podcast
464
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for some time, but on this, for my it seems
465
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to me the first time I've seen or mentioned this.
466
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But isn't it interesting that it's becoming that becomes it's
467
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going to become adopted by so many people that teach
468
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what we talk about.
469
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Yeah.
470
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Absolutely, And I think one of the things is that
471
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it's that I think people coming to realize is that
472
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when we talk about, say, you know, a practice, it's
473
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not yet another thing to do that takes time and effort.
474
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It's more of just a slight mind shift of aware
475
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and being aware. So when I'm when I'm in a
476
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place of say, gratitude, it's there's it's an experience more
477
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than anything else. It's not a trying to be it's
478
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not a reframing. It's like, oh, I should be grateful
479
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right now because oh my gosh, things could be so
480
00:27:08.839 --> 00:27:13.480
much worse. It's it's right, you know, It's nothing like that.
481
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It's just like, okay, right now, this is good. And
482
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gratitude often comes to us in like little little moments,
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you know, where it's like, you know, walking down a
484
00:27:20.920 --> 00:27:24.799
fairway and the clouds apart and the sun goes on
485
00:27:24.839 --> 00:27:25.400
your back.
486
00:27:25.359 --> 00:27:28.559
Like, oh man, that feels good. Yeah, that's a moment
487
00:27:28.559 --> 00:27:29.200
of gratitude.
488
00:27:29.240 --> 00:27:33.359
I think it brings us into our body and tends
489
00:27:33.400 --> 00:27:36.640
to press pause on you know, the goofy thoughts we
490
00:27:36.680 --> 00:27:39.200
have about oh, how come I pushing my driver out
491
00:27:39.200 --> 00:27:39.559
to the right.
492
00:27:39.640 --> 00:27:42.000
All the time I was.
493
00:27:44.799 --> 00:27:48.200
Reading some Kent Osborne stuff. And by the way, speaking
494
00:27:48.240 --> 00:27:50.759
of Kent, there's a special announcement at the end of
495
00:27:50.799 --> 00:27:53.759
this podcast. Remember we talked about this, I'm going to
496
00:27:53.880 --> 00:27:57.359
tack that thing on. Okay, you do you remember it?
497
00:27:57.400 --> 00:27:58.000
Don't remember?
498
00:27:58.240 --> 00:27:59.799
No, I don't remember. I'm an old person.
499
00:28:00.119 --> 00:28:03.279
Okay, Well you know what it'll be. It'll be a
500
00:28:03.279 --> 00:28:04.960
surprise for everybody in a few minutes.
501
00:28:06.240 --> 00:28:06.400
You know.
502
00:28:06.480 --> 00:28:08.920
One of the things I where I I don't nothing.
503
00:28:08.960 --> 00:28:13.839
I disagree with him. But to Kent, there is the
504
00:28:13.880 --> 00:28:17.519
physical game the mental game, meaning in his mind, he
505
00:28:17.599 --> 00:28:21.759
separates the mental part of the game with you know,
506
00:28:22.200 --> 00:28:25.880
the techniques of breathing and you know, anything that's a
507
00:28:25.920 --> 00:28:30.880
technique like a preshot routine or strategy or having a
508
00:28:31.599 --> 00:28:34.039
you know, having your eyes up and your body physically
509
00:28:34.079 --> 00:28:36.799
in a in a positive manner. He thinks that's a
510
00:28:36.839 --> 00:28:41.640
separate category. And and he puts gratitude and the and
511
00:28:42.400 --> 00:28:45.680
the idea of golf should be fun as a separate entity.
512
00:28:45.720 --> 00:28:47.960
And I kind of I see it, and I don't
513
00:28:48.000 --> 00:28:50.319
see like I don't I think your whole mental strategy
514
00:28:50.400 --> 00:28:51.559
includes gratitude.
515
00:28:54.000 --> 00:28:54.839
And what do you think of that?
516
00:28:55.599 --> 00:28:59.200
Because there are mental techniques that you can you don't
517
00:28:59.240 --> 00:29:01.839
have to be grateful to have a good pre show routine.
518
00:29:02.039 --> 00:29:03.759
You don't have to be grateful to take your turn
519
00:29:03.799 --> 00:29:05.119
when it's your turn, et cetera.
520
00:29:05.240 --> 00:29:07.640
What do you think, Well, I think that.
521
00:29:09.119 --> 00:29:14.079
Anytime that we're in essence trying to do something, we're
522
00:29:14.759 --> 00:29:18.640
we're using our intellect, we're thinking. It's like I'm walking
523
00:29:18.680 --> 00:29:21.759
down a fair way and I'm thinking about, Oh, if
524
00:29:21.759 --> 00:29:24.319
I party and I'm going to shoot my best score
525
00:29:24.359 --> 00:29:29.119
this year, what could I do to stop thinking about that? Oh,
526
00:29:29.160 --> 00:29:31.680
I know, I'll do the eyes up, hits up thing
527
00:29:32.680 --> 00:29:35.559
from Paul, And I'll do that, And so I'm I'm
528
00:29:35.720 --> 00:29:40.680
thinking about that and and or any other technique. I'm
529
00:29:40.720 --> 00:29:42.960
going to feel my body in that kind of thing
530
00:29:44.359 --> 00:29:48.920
or whatever. There's so many of these mental techniques. To me,
531
00:29:49.079 --> 00:29:53.960
gratitude is more sort of of of a mindset that
532
00:29:54.319 --> 00:29:56.880
I'm just going to be in this, in this experience,
533
00:29:57.000 --> 00:30:01.920
whatever happens. They man, there's certainly interconnected, and I don't
534
00:30:01.920 --> 00:30:06.599
think that there is a dividing line between them. But
535
00:30:07.720 --> 00:30:12.240
when I think it's the difference between trying and accepting allowing,
536
00:30:12.319 --> 00:30:15.680
and I think that that's the ladder accepting allowing or
537
00:30:15.680 --> 00:30:18.119
more in the gratitude space of just I'm allowing this
538
00:30:18.200 --> 00:30:19.000
moment to happen.
539
00:30:19.599 --> 00:30:23.440
It's almost like when you see a gorgeous.
540
00:30:22.960 --> 00:30:28.519
Sunset's say, you're you know, down in Mexico or someplace,
541
00:30:28.519 --> 00:30:30.920
and there's people on the beach and I'll have their
542
00:30:30.960 --> 00:30:34.640
phones out. Yeah, they're trying to capture the moment so
543
00:30:34.680 --> 00:30:38.039
they can relish it later. To me, more in the
544
00:30:38.079 --> 00:30:42.480
gratitude space is I'm just going to allow myself to
545
00:30:42.599 --> 00:30:48.920
be witness and observe and experience this amazing thing. And
546
00:30:48.960 --> 00:30:51.039
I'm not even really thinking at all.
547
00:30:51.160 --> 00:30:53.680
It's just I just just watching.
548
00:30:53.400 --> 00:30:56.960
The sun go down and it's just amazing. So I
549
00:30:57.000 --> 00:30:58.480
think that's part of the gratitude as well.
550
00:30:58.519 --> 00:31:00.400
I don't know, I would agree that there is no
551
00:31:00.440 --> 00:31:02.400
I get I get the the the all the things
552
00:31:02.400 --> 00:31:04.319
that we've talked about over the years here about the
553
00:31:04.400 --> 00:31:09.400
techniques around the mental game, whether it's faucets strategy or
554
00:31:10.160 --> 00:31:15.319
you know, Ed Coughlan's coglin Coglin. I'd never get it right,
555
00:31:15.480 --> 00:31:16.440
Ed Coughlin.
556
00:31:17.519 --> 00:31:21.839
Ed Collins spelt Coglin. It's only been eight.
557
00:31:21.759 --> 00:31:25.559
Years I've been saying it's Ed Collins, you know, putting
558
00:31:25.599 --> 00:31:30.720
yourself in you know, uh, in game situations. But gratitude,
559
00:31:30.759 --> 00:31:34.119
as I think it's more of a philosophical construct uh
560
00:31:34.440 --> 00:31:38.720
an idea where you know, bringing something different to your
561
00:31:38.759 --> 00:31:43.519
golf game, and you know, I, you know, I think
562
00:31:43.559 --> 00:31:46.720
I have a fairly good amount of it. I think
563
00:31:46.799 --> 00:31:51.960
I have. I'm constantly struck by those moments of you know,
564
00:31:52.079 --> 00:31:54.559
you you close your eyes and the breeze hits you
565
00:31:54.599 --> 00:31:56.720
in a certain way that has nothing to do with
566
00:31:56.720 --> 00:31:58.759
whether you've got a seven iron into the green or not.
567
00:31:59.799 --> 00:32:03.960
And I think sometimes because of the type of golf
568
00:32:04.000 --> 00:32:06.160
I player, and type of golf a lot of people play,
569
00:32:06.720 --> 00:32:10.720
it gets pretty intense where you don't always take a
570
00:32:10.759 --> 00:32:15.440
moment or two and savor those you know, those those
571
00:32:15.519 --> 00:32:17.920
rounds where you know, it doesn't really matter what you're shooting,
572
00:32:17.920 --> 00:32:20.440
if the fact is you're just playing and having fun.
573
00:32:21.200 --> 00:32:23.799
And I think, for me, like I'd like to have
574
00:32:23.880 --> 00:32:26.279
more of those rounds, more of those moments. I can
575
00:32:26.319 --> 00:32:29.160
tell you my last round of the year, on the
576
00:32:29.160 --> 00:32:31.839
seventh of November was played at the National and I
577
00:32:31.880 --> 00:32:34.519
was there as part of a we have a Champion's
578
00:32:34.559 --> 00:32:35.920
Day there and I can't remember if we did a
579
00:32:35.960 --> 00:32:38.359
podcast after that. I don't know if we did. Did
580
00:32:38.400 --> 00:32:40.200
we you can't remember?
581
00:32:40.279 --> 00:32:42.200
Yeah we did? Yeah we did. Yeah, but I had
582
00:32:42.200 --> 00:32:43.440
a lot of gratitude that day.
583
00:32:44.759 --> 00:32:47.000
I had a lot of It was the last day,
584
00:32:47.039 --> 00:32:50.160
and it was a beautiful, perfect fall day, no win,
585
00:32:50.400 --> 00:32:54.519
fourteen degrees, and so that day was less about what
586
00:32:54.640 --> 00:32:56.960
am I going to shoot here at this ridiculous golf
587
00:32:57.000 --> 00:33:01.400
course and more about, like, I just soak it all in.
588
00:33:01.559 --> 00:33:03.640
And many many times that day I just stood and
589
00:33:03.720 --> 00:33:06.240
looked back at where we had been or where we
590
00:33:06.279 --> 00:33:10.119
were going, and fantastic. And it does do what it
591
00:33:10.200 --> 00:33:12.720
does do what Kathy Hart says, it does keep you
592
00:33:12.960 --> 00:33:19.039
calm centered. You know, you go from a mindset of
593
00:33:19.839 --> 00:33:23.200
mild frustration, which is golf. You know, it's kind of mildly.
594
00:33:23.319 --> 00:33:26.359
Even if you're evolved, you're always a little mildly.
595
00:33:26.640 --> 00:33:29.920
It's there, you know, but you had one sideways. You're
596
00:33:29.960 --> 00:33:30.839
not gonna be half about it.
597
00:33:30.880 --> 00:33:34.960
Well, yeah, it's but golf. It gives us that, but
598
00:33:35.039 --> 00:33:37.319
it also gives us the opportunity to find a way
599
00:33:37.359 --> 00:33:40.880
to work through that. I was gonna say work around it,
600
00:33:40.920 --> 00:33:42.039
but to work through it.
601
00:33:42.640 --> 00:33:46.559
Mm hmm. Well, okay, speaking of things that we've said
602
00:33:46.599 --> 00:33:49.920
on this show before, what you said on this program,
603
00:33:50.599 --> 00:33:55.680
So you know, way back when when I first met you,
604
00:33:55.720 --> 00:33:59.200
and you asked me to coach you, and you were
605
00:33:59.240 --> 00:34:01.839
really struggling with your game. I don't think you've broken
606
00:34:02.039 --> 00:34:04.079
you know, for someone who's a two or three handicap,
607
00:34:04.119 --> 00:34:06.559
you hadn't broken eighty in a couple of weeks. And
608
00:34:06.599 --> 00:34:09.320
you came this close to banging your driver on one
609
00:34:09.320 --> 00:34:13.000
of those stone tea markers at glen Cairn. Hey, we all,
610
00:34:13.320 --> 00:34:16.880
every golf nerd knows the we're on that knife edge
611
00:34:16.880 --> 00:34:20.440
of violence. Anyways, And I remember saying to you, you know,
612
00:34:21.239 --> 00:34:23.119
once you have an intention, it could be you'll be
613
00:34:23.159 --> 00:34:26.199
the best partner you've ever been, or gratitude. And you
614
00:34:26.280 --> 00:34:30.239
pick being the best partner. And so I remember you
615
00:34:30.400 --> 00:34:31.559
phone me back a couple of days.
616
00:34:31.599 --> 00:34:32.159
I said, how to go.
617
00:34:32.239 --> 00:34:34.800
It's a great I met these new guys, their new pals,
618
00:34:34.800 --> 00:34:35.920
that had such a good time.
619
00:34:36.119 --> 00:34:39.239
Oh and by the way, I shot seventy four. It
620
00:34:39.280 --> 00:34:41.960
sets us Upah, it sets us up.
621
00:34:41.840 --> 00:34:44.119
In a way in which we're sort of more, to
622
00:34:44.239 --> 00:34:47.559
use a Judgson Brewer word, we're more expansive.
623
00:34:47.760 --> 00:34:49.239
We're outside of ourselves.
624
00:34:49.280 --> 00:34:52.599
It's less of shining a very tight spotlight on myself,
625
00:34:52.639 --> 00:34:56.840
like how am I doing today? And that to me
626
00:34:57.119 --> 00:34:59.840
is in that place where And also another thing I'll
627
00:34:59.880 --> 00:35:01.440
just pridle on a little bit more. I remember doing
628
00:35:01.480 --> 00:35:05.760
a workshop at Mississauga and a guy who deep golf
629
00:35:05.800 --> 00:35:08.920
nerd always wanted to break eighty. He takes his dad
630
00:35:08.960 --> 00:35:11.400
out to play Mississauga. He's so proud to show his
631
00:35:11.480 --> 00:35:14.639
dad this amazing golf course. So it's all about his
632
00:35:14.760 --> 00:35:17.039
dad looking for his golf. Well, make sure his dad.
633
00:35:17.079 --> 00:35:18.760
You know, his dad's an older guy, having a good
634
00:35:18.840 --> 00:35:22.239
time all this And when the guy had up his scorecard,
635
00:35:22.760 --> 00:35:27.280
he he had shot seventy six, his best score by
636
00:35:27.440 --> 00:35:30.199
about six or seven stroke in a couple of years
637
00:35:30.880 --> 00:35:33.840
because he was in that more expansive state.
638
00:35:34.599 --> 00:35:38.159
Yeah, I'm snow surprise, you know, as in a game
639
00:35:38.159 --> 00:35:43.159
where we're so inwardly focused, even without even knowing how
640
00:35:43.280 --> 00:35:46.519
in internal there's this internal dialogue that we all have
641
00:35:46.599 --> 00:35:50.480
in our lives, but it's exacerbated in the game of golf.
642
00:35:50.559 --> 00:35:55.119
That just that little switch of other focused, whether it's
643
00:35:55.159 --> 00:36:00.280
somebody else or the environment, it's strangely enough, does lead
644
00:36:00.320 --> 00:36:01.199
to better outcomes.
645
00:36:02.199 --> 00:36:04.320
And I think that's where we feel gratitude too. I mean,
646
00:36:04.360 --> 00:36:05.559
I don't know how many times have been on the
647
00:36:05.559 --> 00:36:09.039
golf course and went, man, this is amazing. I have
648
00:36:09.199 --> 00:36:12.760
such a great time with my buddies or even with Howard.
649
00:36:13.800 --> 00:36:16.719
What do you mean my buddies or even with Howard?
650
00:36:17.039 --> 00:36:17.840
What does that mean?
651
00:36:17.880 --> 00:36:20.679
Just want if you're listening, I'm listening.
652
00:36:22.280 --> 00:36:24.360
I want to yes, and that yes, how I did?
653
00:36:24.400 --> 00:36:25.880
I was like, what the fuck is that all about?
654
00:36:26.119 --> 00:36:30.039
That was yes? Ending Listen, fella. We got to be uh,
655
00:36:30.480 --> 00:36:35.559
completely transparent with our audience, I believe, and also from
656
00:36:35.599 --> 00:36:39.679
the Swing Thoughts sales department, just to throw it out there,
657
00:36:39.760 --> 00:36:42.280
we we've been very lucky for a long time. Taylor
658
00:36:42.320 --> 00:36:46.360
Made was our title sponsor. Over the years, We've had
659
00:36:46.519 --> 00:36:50.400
Oscar Bravo, and at one point we had Tailor Made Adidas,
660
00:36:51.079 --> 00:36:56.440
and another point we had clothing supplied by I can't
661
00:36:56.480 --> 00:36:57.719
remember his name either.
662
00:36:57.519 --> 00:37:02.079
Way, and Jonathan Wall right. Great, We're in Green Neuropeak
663
00:37:02.119 --> 00:37:03.679
pro right.
664
00:37:03.719 --> 00:37:06.400
And so here we find ourselves in the fall of
665
00:37:06.719 --> 00:37:10.639
twenty twenty four, and we've got some feelers out. But
666
00:37:10.719 --> 00:37:13.039
I would just say, if there's anyone in the golf business,
667
00:37:13.079 --> 00:37:15.440
or golf adjacent business, or anyone with any kind of
668
00:37:15.440 --> 00:37:19.559
business that would like to be part of this program
669
00:37:19.599 --> 00:37:23.119
going into twenty twenty five, that you can get a
670
00:37:23.159 --> 00:37:24.599
hold of us. So I'm easy to get a hold
671
00:37:24.599 --> 00:37:31.159
of Humblehoward at gmail dot com. And mister O'Connor, what
672
00:37:31.159 --> 00:37:33.760
would you what would what email? Would you be okay
673
00:37:34.079 --> 00:37:35.320
giving out on this program?
674
00:37:36.199 --> 00:37:40.840
Tim at O'Connor Goolf dot Ca, No apostrophe and it's
675
00:37:40.840 --> 00:37:41.760
O'Connor o R.
676
00:37:42.280 --> 00:37:46.559
Yeah. So yeah, we're just looking to make some new partnerships.
677
00:37:46.559 --> 00:37:49.239
We have been very, very lucky with Taylor Made for
678
00:37:49.280 --> 00:37:52.440
a long time and there are a good bunch of
679
00:37:52.440 --> 00:37:55.320
guys there and they've been very supportive of us, and
680
00:37:55.320 --> 00:37:58.960
they've just decided to you know, go in a different direction,
681
00:37:59.039 --> 00:38:01.039
as they say, and that's fine. I mean we've you know,
682
00:38:01.079 --> 00:38:02.920
I've been in this radio business a long time and
683
00:38:03.119 --> 00:38:04.519
sponsorship comes and goes.
684
00:38:05.119 --> 00:38:06.960
Absolutely Yeah, So I just saw it.
685
00:38:07.079 --> 00:38:11.119
Throw it out there to anyone that's interested in, you know,
686
00:38:11.239 --> 00:38:13.280
and maybe being part of this show.
687
00:38:14.480 --> 00:38:14.760
Yeah.
688
00:38:14.800 --> 00:38:17.320
So speaking of gratitude, yeah, I really we're both really
689
00:38:17.320 --> 00:38:22.800
grateful to being affiliated with Nick and Jamie and the
690
00:38:22.840 --> 00:38:23.920
guys that Taylor Made.
691
00:38:23.920 --> 00:38:25.199
I mean, a wonderful group.
692
00:38:25.239 --> 00:38:29.000
But yeah, everything evolves, you know, nothing, As a Buddhists say,
693
00:38:29.039 --> 00:38:33.400
everything's impermanent, So things move along. And one thing I
694
00:38:33.480 --> 00:38:36.079
know that's really what I really enjoy about doing this
695
00:38:36.119 --> 00:38:40.039
podcast is interacting with our sponsors and having fun with
696
00:38:40.079 --> 00:38:43.280
them and talking about their gear, their or their clothing.
697
00:38:43.480 --> 00:38:44.320
It really is fun.
698
00:38:44.360 --> 00:38:46.000
So there's a bit of a there's a bit of
699
00:38:46.000 --> 00:38:49.280
a sales pitch folks for getting involved with our podcast.
700
00:38:49.360 --> 00:38:53.840
It's a lot of fun, a lot and we reach
701
00:38:54.000 --> 00:38:54.880
deep golf nerds.
702
00:38:54.960 --> 00:38:57.000
Yeah, if you're looking for there's a certain kind of
703
00:38:57.039 --> 00:38:59.360
audience that we have that we think we can deliver,
704
00:38:59.400 --> 00:39:02.199
and if you're looking for it, we'd be happy to
705
00:39:02.320 --> 00:39:05.119
chat with you. I don't have a whole lot more,
706
00:39:06.239 --> 00:39:08.119
but I do have to. I want to. I do
707
00:39:08.159 --> 00:39:13.000
want to remind you that, and we don't have to
708
00:39:13.000 --> 00:39:14.559
stop now, but I'm going to let you know that
709
00:39:15.880 --> 00:39:19.000
speaking of Ken Osborne, a few weeks ago, Ken was
710
00:39:19.039 --> 00:39:22.079
over here in the studio, and you know, just like
711
00:39:22.119 --> 00:39:24.400
you and him, you and I when we aren't recording,
712
00:39:24.440 --> 00:39:28.559
we have all kinds of conversations. Now you remember, now.
713
00:39:28.760 --> 00:39:31.840
Man, Okay, all right, now I remember? Yeah, So.
714
00:39:33.400 --> 00:39:35.880
You know, basically, when you and I record an episode,
715
00:39:35.920 --> 00:39:38.559
it's kind of like what you and I would talk
716
00:39:38.599 --> 00:39:41.000
about even if we weren't recording it. And that's very
717
00:39:41.079 --> 00:39:42.639
much like you know. Kent and I went on a
718
00:39:42.719 --> 00:39:44.480
road trip with the guy. We were in the car
719
00:39:45.519 --> 00:39:49.880
on the way there. We spent fourteen hours driving over
720
00:39:49.960 --> 00:39:54.199
two days and almost never listened to a podcast, the radio,
721
00:39:54.679 --> 00:39:59.199
or the news. We just found ourselves babbling for fourteen
722
00:39:59.239 --> 00:40:02.719
hours about off, about life, about religion. So when Ken
723
00:40:02.840 --> 00:40:05.519
was over hanging out here, I said, you know, why
724
00:40:05.519 --> 00:40:08.199
don't you sit down, Why don't we record one of
725
00:40:08.199 --> 00:40:11.800
these conversations and I'll throw it onto the next episode
726
00:40:11.840 --> 00:40:15.320
of us Swing Thoughts. So when we say goodbye in
727
00:40:15.360 --> 00:40:19.079
a couple of minutes here, Tim and I, you're going
728
00:40:19.159 --> 00:40:22.760
to hear the Sultons of Swing and that will fade out,
729
00:40:22.840 --> 00:40:26.239
and then I'll just bring up a conversation with Ken
730
00:40:26.280 --> 00:40:30.440
Osborne and myself about the world of golf and other stuff,
731
00:40:30.440 --> 00:40:32.639
and you may or may not like it, but you know,
732
00:40:32.639 --> 00:40:33.960
you can always fast forward through it.
733
00:40:34.760 --> 00:40:37.599
Oh no, I think people love it. Ken is such
734
00:40:37.639 --> 00:40:41.559
a cool guy. I'm so speaking of gratitude again, Gratitude
735
00:40:41.559 --> 00:40:44.920
part nine here, I'm so grateful that I got to
736
00:40:44.960 --> 00:40:48.559
meet Kent through you, and, as with a lot of
737
00:40:48.599 --> 00:40:54.159
other people, just a really interesting guy, amazing background, he
738
00:40:54.920 --> 00:41:00.239
coached Fortune five hundred executives, did that kind of kind
739
00:41:00.239 --> 00:41:03.559
of work. And also for a number of years he was,
740
00:41:04.199 --> 00:41:07.000
in essence, the performance coach for the Detroit Red Wings.
741
00:41:07.559 --> 00:41:11.079
So the guy's got a real good grounding in the
742
00:41:11.119 --> 00:41:15.119
whole area of sports psychology and and that kind of thing.
743
00:41:15.679 --> 00:41:18.800
Fascinating guy and very funny too.
744
00:41:19.639 --> 00:41:22.639
So I'll hope you enjoy that. That'll be coming up
745
00:41:22.639 --> 00:41:26.039
here in a couple of moments when we say goodbye.
746
00:41:27.800 --> 00:41:30.039
Anything else that you'd like to air out here before
747
00:41:30.039 --> 00:41:31.000
we shut it down.
748
00:41:33.840 --> 00:41:37.000
Yeah, take a look folks at at my blog, the
749
00:41:37.039 --> 00:41:40.360
recent one. It's an excerpt excerpt from from my new book,
750
00:41:40.400 --> 00:41:44.679
Getting Unstuck. It's uh, it's it's a story about one
751
00:41:44.719 --> 00:41:48.000
of my meltdowns that we've recounted on this show before.
752
00:41:48.400 --> 00:41:49.079
I think.
753
00:41:50.880 --> 00:41:54.119
Deep Golfner will resonate with I get as I mentioned earlier,
754
00:41:54.119 --> 00:41:57.920
that knife edge we uh, we are perched upon to
755
00:41:58.039 --> 00:42:01.599
play golf between bliss and abject violence.
756
00:42:02.400 --> 00:42:05.119
It's a great story and what we can learn from
757
00:42:05.119 --> 00:42:05.719
those things.
758
00:42:05.960 --> 00:42:08.280
You know, I reread it today and I was like, man,
759
00:42:08.679 --> 00:42:12.079
I can relate, you know, I you know, I played
760
00:42:12.119 --> 00:42:17.320
a lot of golf with my father and as I
761
00:42:17.360 --> 00:42:19.800
got older, you know, you talk about, you know, wanting
762
00:42:19.840 --> 00:42:21.239
to show your dad a good time. You know, I
763
00:42:21.280 --> 00:42:23.880
remember he would come to Toronto and play golf with me,
764
00:42:24.480 --> 00:42:26.119
and you know, growing up on the golf course we
765
00:42:26.199 --> 00:42:28.639
did a moose Jaw where you know, it wasn't the
766
00:42:28.639 --> 00:42:30.760
most fancy it was. It was the moose Jow Golf
767
00:42:30.760 --> 00:42:33.559
and Curling Club, so it wasn't super fancy. And then
768
00:42:34.199 --> 00:42:36.840
sort of the dichotomy or is that the word, like
769
00:42:36.840 --> 00:42:41.159
the the contrast, the contrast of you know, bringing my
770
00:42:41.280 --> 00:42:44.000
dad to the National. You know, I've got some great
771
00:42:44.000 --> 00:42:46.800
pictures of him and I on some holes and it's
772
00:42:46.840 --> 00:42:48.280
pretty you know, it was pretty cool for me to
773
00:42:48.880 --> 00:42:51.760
bring him out there. But I can tell you I
774
00:42:51.760 --> 00:42:54.280
I had my lowest round ever at that golf course
775
00:42:54.360 --> 00:42:58.400
with my father. And you want to talk about grateful,
776
00:42:58.559 --> 00:43:01.239
you know, I have it. I have. I did it
777
00:43:01.239 --> 00:43:03.119
a couple of times. At the first time I shot
778
00:43:03.559 --> 00:43:07.280
in the sixties at the National one of three times
779
00:43:07.320 --> 00:43:09.280
I did it. But the first time I did it,
780
00:43:09.280 --> 00:43:12.440
it was so unusual and it was my father and
781
00:43:12.480 --> 00:43:17.920
two members and I shot sixty eight and.
782
00:43:17.119 --> 00:43:18.760
The pro at the time.
783
00:43:19.199 --> 00:43:21.840
You want to talk about screwing up your handicap because
784
00:43:22.000 --> 00:43:26.039
sixty eight was like the course rating was seventy five
785
00:43:26.119 --> 00:43:26.840
points something.
786
00:43:27.199 --> 00:43:28.199
Oh my gosh.
787
00:43:28.440 --> 00:43:31.880
So yeah, it definitely dropped me down a bit. But
788
00:43:31.920 --> 00:43:35.360
my father was there and they took my scorecard and
789
00:43:35.400 --> 00:43:41.480
bronzed it like a baby shoes, Like I have a
790
00:43:41.519 --> 00:43:47.480
bronze scorecard with my father's signature on it. And the
791
00:43:48.119 --> 00:43:51.239
day we shot that, you know, like it was pretty
792
00:43:51.239 --> 00:43:53.679
cool for me to do that, especially again to bring
793
00:43:53.760 --> 00:43:56.000
him there and also to have that round of golf.
794
00:43:56.000 --> 00:43:58.079
And I've told a story where he and the other
795
00:43:58.119 --> 00:44:00.920
two guys in my group didn't talk to me from
796
00:44:00.920 --> 00:44:04.440
the fifteenth hole until the faraway at eighteen. No one
797
00:44:04.480 --> 00:44:07.480
spoke a word, and I was like, and it wasn't
798
00:44:07.559 --> 00:44:09.480
until I got the ball and play on eighteen that
799
00:44:09.519 --> 00:44:11.599
they were kind of like, Okay, everything's all right, and
800
00:44:11.639 --> 00:44:13.599
I'm like, where the fuck have you guys been? They
801
00:44:13.599 --> 00:44:15.480
were like, we don't want to say anything, And I
802
00:44:15.559 --> 00:44:18.559
get it's right, you don't want to watching a no hitter.
803
00:44:19.119 --> 00:44:21.719
Or yeah, your goalie's got to shut out going. But
804
00:44:21.800 --> 00:44:25.000
you know, isn't that I mean, that's this amazing game.
805
00:44:25.599 --> 00:44:28.719
I mean, we talked earlier about you know, I love
806
00:44:28.760 --> 00:44:31.599
the phrase that you used from times about the vagaries
807
00:44:31.639 --> 00:44:34.639
of the game. Love that, you know, one part of
808
00:44:34.639 --> 00:44:37.480
it playing the game and we're done, and we punched
809
00:44:37.559 --> 00:44:39.719
the inside of our car, break our windshields.
810
00:44:40.960 --> 00:44:43.159
And the other one is say our I love it,
811
00:44:43.199 --> 00:44:44.320
you say we we we do.
812
00:44:44.639 --> 00:44:47.280
Only one of us has punched the inside my.
813
00:44:48.360 --> 00:44:51.800
Yeah, but my blog today is about me decappitating my driver,
814
00:44:52.159 --> 00:44:55.719
my six hundred dollars driver, you know, by whacking my
815
00:44:55.880 --> 00:44:57.599
wedge against my standbag.
816
00:44:57.679 --> 00:44:58.960
What an idiot.
817
00:44:59.119 --> 00:45:01.679
But there and then and then in between, and we
818
00:45:01.760 --> 00:45:04.719
have this lovely moment with our parents. I mean, just
819
00:45:05.079 --> 00:45:09.280
I was talking to a client yesterday, working with this guy,
820
00:45:09.880 --> 00:45:12.159
and so he's been playing really well, but the last
821
00:45:12.159 --> 00:45:15.119
four games not so great. He talked to me about
822
00:45:15.360 --> 00:45:20.440
driving home from the golf course after yet another route.
823
00:45:20.519 --> 00:45:24.199
He's screaming at himself. He's screaming.
824
00:45:24.400 --> 00:45:27.480
He said, if anyone saw me in my car, they
825
00:45:27.480 --> 00:45:30.760
would have thought I was just having an episode, a psychotic,
826
00:45:31.559 --> 00:45:37.119
absolute fucking meltdown. And it's just, oh, my goodness, what
827
00:45:37.280 --> 00:45:39.880
a game and what we do to ourselves when we
828
00:45:39.920 --> 00:45:40.239
play it.
829
00:45:40.360 --> 00:45:43.000
Yeah, I know, it's it really is something. And I
830
00:45:43.199 --> 00:45:46.280
again reading your blog about you smashing your driver. At
831
00:45:46.360 --> 00:45:49.039
least it was within the confines of the game. I
832
00:45:49.079 --> 00:45:52.400
got into my car and punched my windshield like one
833
00:45:52.440 --> 00:45:56.079
of us needs help anyway. So, once again, to reiterate
834
00:45:56.400 --> 00:46:00.719
Tim's blog, his substack is available at O'Conner golf dot
835
00:46:00.760 --> 00:46:04.400
Ca and the book Getting Unstuck perfect for in time
836
00:46:04.440 --> 00:46:10.280
for the holidays. I'm imagining we'll do another show for Chrismass,
837
00:46:10.880 --> 00:46:15.360
which is now less than a month away. So you
838
00:46:15.400 --> 00:46:17.239
know I won't I won't, you know, I won't wish
839
00:46:17.239 --> 00:46:19.360
you well now, although I do wish you well anyway,
840
00:46:19.599 --> 00:46:22.039
just blanketly, you know, yeah, just.
841
00:46:22.000 --> 00:46:24.880
You know, it's just a generatoricy, just because.
842
00:46:24.639 --> 00:46:26.960
It's nice to say, it's right, just common cremation.
843
00:46:27.480 --> 00:46:30.360
We wish well, but we're like, okay, I hope between
844
00:46:30.360 --> 00:46:32.519
now and next time we have the podcast, you've fall
845
00:46:32.559 --> 00:46:33.159
and break your leg.
846
00:46:33.239 --> 00:46:40.679
Yeah, or say like I wish everyone well, even Tim Okay, Jay, Yes,
847
00:46:40.719 --> 00:46:44.079
and so h here's the deal. We're not h so
848
00:46:44.199 --> 00:46:46.719
we have Yeah. Well, we'll thank Taylor Made for all
849
00:46:46.760 --> 00:46:50.199
the years of support. We certainly appreciate it, and h
850
00:46:50.360 --> 00:46:54.679
Oscar Bravo amazing thanks to them, and hopefully in twenty
851
00:46:54.719 --> 00:46:58.480
twenty five, we'll have some new people to thank h
852
00:46:58.639 --> 00:47:01.159
In the meantime, I thank you mister so and so,
853
00:47:01.320 --> 00:47:02.760
mister O'Connor.
854
00:47:03.159 --> 00:47:04.000
Niks back at Yes.
855
00:47:04.599 --> 00:47:07.159
This program Thank You was produced by the Humble and
856
00:47:07.159 --> 00:47:12.760
Fred Show. All rights uh and uh whatever are reserved.
857
00:47:14.480 --> 00:47:19.159
And as I like business love yeah, and you can
858
00:47:19.320 --> 00:47:22.239
find out more at Humble and Fred Radios. Okay, And
859
00:47:22.280 --> 00:47:24.559
as I said, you're gonna hear the music fade out
860
00:47:24.599 --> 00:47:28.519
in a second, and then a conversation with scratch Attitude
861
00:47:28.920 --> 00:47:31.079
Kent Osborne until next time.
862
00:47:37.079 --> 00:47:43.079
I step inside. But you don't see too many things.
863
00:47:44.039 --> 00:47:49.119
All right, A rare opportunity to have the uh Kent
864
00:47:49.280 --> 00:47:56.679
men in the studio, Ken Osborne scratch Attitude. How long
865
00:47:56.679 --> 00:47:57.400
have you known each other?
866
00:47:57.440 --> 00:47:57.639
Now?
867
00:47:59.480 --> 00:48:01.719
This has been five years, something like that, three or
868
00:48:01.719 --> 00:48:04.480
four or five years something, you know, it doesn't matter.
869
00:48:04.519 --> 00:48:07.599
We're old. It could have been last week, I've it
870
00:48:07.639 --> 00:48:10.000
could have been nineteen sixty great. I have no idea.
871
00:48:12.239 --> 00:48:14.840
I've mentioned on the show many times that we became
872
00:48:15.239 --> 00:48:19.920
my friends. But it started off as I I reached
873
00:48:19.920 --> 00:48:23.719
out to you when I found you on Twitter? And
874
00:48:24.920 --> 00:48:26.159
what what got you started on?
875
00:48:26.280 --> 00:48:26.480
Well?
876
00:48:26.599 --> 00:48:29.119
What brought you to Twitter as a way to spread
877
00:48:29.119 --> 00:48:31.079
the message and gospel of KO.
878
00:48:33.280 --> 00:48:38.800
Well, it's actually my uh my buddy John Alpa he uh.
879
00:48:39.679 --> 00:48:42.599
I would share with him my perspective on golf. He's
880
00:48:42.599 --> 00:48:46.480
a he's a guy's been into golf all his life.
881
00:48:46.519 --> 00:48:49.519
He's a golf digest course raider, He's been involved in
882
00:48:49.760 --> 00:48:52.960
building and managing courses, works in the golf industry, knows
883
00:48:53.000 --> 00:48:56.880
a lot about it. Yeah, great guy, great player. And
884
00:48:58.119 --> 00:49:00.679
I would talk to him about my perspective on the
885
00:49:00.719 --> 00:49:03.360
game because I started late. I started when I was
886
00:49:03.400 --> 00:49:11.559
fifty and came to the game basically with a Beer
887
00:49:11.639 --> 00:49:15.199
League Softball mentality in the sense that I'm here for
888
00:49:15.280 --> 00:49:19.159
recreation period in a story. And one of the first
889
00:49:19.159 --> 00:49:23.599
things I noticed when I get into golf as a
890
00:49:23.920 --> 00:49:28.719
quote unquote serious hobby was that the better you were,
891
00:49:29.519 --> 00:49:32.559
the less likely you were to have fun actually playing
892
00:49:32.559 --> 00:49:32.920
the game.
893
00:49:34.079 --> 00:49:37.599
So you observed that pretty quickly as you got into golf.
894
00:49:37.639 --> 00:49:40.480
Now you say, like, I know a question the origin story.
895
00:49:40.519 --> 00:49:42.920
But when you say you got into golf at fifty,
896
00:49:44.480 --> 00:49:46.400
and you were a pretty good athlete as a kid,
897
00:49:46.400 --> 00:49:49.679
you played hockey, baseball, but did you ever play any
898
00:49:49.719 --> 00:49:50.559
golf as a kid?
899
00:49:50.800 --> 00:49:54.800
I would say I probably played. I think I think
900
00:49:54.840 --> 00:49:57.159
I played around of golf for the first time ever
901
00:49:57.199 --> 00:50:01.519
when I was maybe twenty three or something like.
902
00:50:01.480 --> 00:50:02.960
That, So you weren't like a lot of people that
903
00:50:03.119 --> 00:50:05.639
had sort of done it in their teens, like I
904
00:50:05.679 --> 00:50:07.519
played a lot as a kid from like age eleven
905
00:50:07.599 --> 00:50:10.639
un till seventeen or eighteen. Then I stopped for about
906
00:50:10.679 --> 00:50:12.880
fifteen years or twelve years, because I, you know, I
907
00:50:12.920 --> 00:50:14.119
was in my twenties, I.
908
00:50:14.119 --> 00:50:15.599
Was traveling around.
909
00:50:15.679 --> 00:50:18.320
And my point is, when you came back at fifty,
910
00:50:18.360 --> 00:50:20.800
you really hadn't played a lot of golf as a kid.
911
00:50:20.519 --> 00:50:25.599
I drove into the I can remember, I didn't, you know.
912
00:50:25.679 --> 00:50:28.960
I'd read the sign bag drop like what's that? Or
913
00:50:29.320 --> 00:50:31.800
ball washing? Of course, a ball washing, like what the
914
00:50:31.840 --> 00:50:32.119
hell's that?
915
00:50:32.280 --> 00:50:35.559
At our age now bag drop means a completely different Yeah.
916
00:50:35.320 --> 00:50:40.000
That's true. So anyway, John, I'd be talking to John
917
00:50:40.039 --> 00:50:43.199
about my perspective, right and he would say, shit, man,
918
00:50:43.239 --> 00:50:45.280
you know, you you should get on Twitter. You should
919
00:50:45.280 --> 00:50:48.159
share these ideas with people they you know, did probably
920
00:50:48.199 --> 00:50:51.960
some value in them. And so I just went on
921
00:50:52.000 --> 00:50:55.679
Twitter and kind of started tweeting stuff, which.
922
00:50:55.559 --> 00:50:57.199
Is where I found you. And that was prior. I
923
00:50:57.239 --> 00:51:01.719
don't think you'd written your first book, which is it's
924
00:51:01.800 --> 00:51:05.800
changed names. Was it originally called uh? I think I
925
00:51:05.840 --> 00:51:08.599
originally called it play like Ray, Play leg Ray. That's right,
926
00:51:08.639 --> 00:51:11.280
I read now I call it scratch attitude. I mean
927
00:51:11.320 --> 00:51:13.159
it's yeah.
928
00:51:13.480 --> 00:51:16.519
So you came back. You came to golf in your fifties.
929
00:51:16.760 --> 00:51:18.679
By the time I met you, you were mid sixties,
930
00:51:18.719 --> 00:51:22.199
you'd won club championship, you were a high level player.
931
00:51:22.239 --> 00:51:25.199
You turned yourself into a you know, scratch or scratch
932
00:51:25.199 --> 00:51:28.840
adjacent golfer, very low hand Jason.
933
00:51:29.320 --> 00:51:29.800
That's right.
934
00:51:30.119 --> 00:51:32.079
I like to use that term. As people say to me,
935
00:51:32.159 --> 00:51:34.679
are you are you scratched? I go, well, I'm depends
936
00:51:34.719 --> 00:51:38.679
on the month, but I'm a scratch adjacent So what
937
00:51:38.760 --> 00:51:42.360
was it about golfers that you noticed right away that
938
00:51:42.440 --> 00:51:47.880
we were maybe not not as filled with joy as
939
00:51:47.880 --> 00:51:49.679
we might be. That must have been a surprise that
940
00:51:50.000 --> 00:51:52.440
we spend all this time doing this stuff and we're
941
00:51:52.480 --> 00:51:53.519
not having very much fun.
942
00:51:54.079 --> 00:51:59.840
I get into it just serendipitously, because I'm playing recreational
943
00:52:00.079 --> 00:52:04.760
off ball on a team that arguably would be one
944
00:52:04.800 --> 00:52:07.599
of the worst in North America. We were, we were
945
00:52:07.440 --> 00:52:11.880
we were horrible, but we we had fun and uh,
946
00:52:12.280 --> 00:52:16.440
you know, well, after every game we'd get together, we'd
947
00:52:16.440 --> 00:52:19.159
have a beer around this guy's truck and we'd hand
948
00:52:19.199 --> 00:52:21.440
out a trophy for the worst player of the night.
949
00:52:21.480 --> 00:52:23.840
And the trophy was an artificial leg with a baseball
950
00:52:23.840 --> 00:52:26.199
clayton the bottom of it. And trust me, there was
951
00:52:26.280 --> 00:52:29.519
no problem with deciding who was going to get. The
952
00:52:29.559 --> 00:52:32.960
issue was which of the five bumbles was a give
953
00:52:33.000 --> 00:52:37.639
it to. But anyway, I started playing golf with some
954
00:52:37.719 --> 00:52:40.679
of the same guys on that team, and and it
955
00:52:40.719 --> 00:52:43.000
was there was a stark contrast between how they would
956
00:52:43.000 --> 00:52:47.079
be on the playing ball and you know, they wanted
957
00:52:47.119 --> 00:52:48.840
to win, and they wanted to make you know, hit
958
00:52:48.880 --> 00:52:50.360
the ball and catch the ball and all that kind
959
00:52:50.400 --> 00:52:54.480
of stuff. But the the stress and the and the
960
00:52:54.519 --> 00:52:57.400
negative reaction just didn't seem seem to be there. So,
961
00:52:57.480 --> 00:53:01.719
as I said earlier, the if it seemed to me
962
00:53:01.920 --> 00:53:04.119
like if you were if you had four guys in
963
00:53:04.159 --> 00:53:06.880
a foursome and one of them was one of them
964
00:53:06.920 --> 00:53:08.840
was scratched, one of them was five, one of them
965
00:53:08.960 --> 00:53:12.119
was ten, and one of them was twenty, and if
966
00:53:12.159 --> 00:53:13.639
you said, okay, one of these guys is going to
967
00:53:13.679 --> 00:53:16.760
be pissed off of how he plays today, chances.
968
00:53:16.400 --> 00:53:18.440
Are what would be, you know, the lower handicap, the
969
00:53:18.440 --> 00:53:20.440
lower guys. But back to the idea that you were
970
00:53:20.480 --> 00:53:23.760
playing baseball or softball with guys that had no trouble
971
00:53:23.880 --> 00:53:27.639
being horrible at it and having fun. Yeah, in start
972
00:53:27.719 --> 00:53:32.840
contrast to people that supposedly like the lower handicap, people
973
00:53:32.840 --> 00:53:35.960
that were actually pretty good at the sport. But it
974
00:53:36.039 --> 00:53:38.920
was almost inverse. They weren't having the same amount of fun. Yeah.
975
00:53:38.920 --> 00:53:41.960
Well, if I had, if I had been sitting around
976
00:53:42.000 --> 00:53:43.800
with the boys after a game and I had said,
977
00:53:43.840 --> 00:53:46.960
you know what, guys, I don't know, but I think
978
00:53:47.760 --> 00:53:49.800
I think I'm a little my hands are moving a
979
00:53:49.800 --> 00:53:52.840
little too far inside out and my batting average has
980
00:53:52.920 --> 00:53:56.039
gone down, you know, I think twenty points in the
981
00:53:56.079 --> 00:53:59.719
last three three weeks. And I found a professional. I
982
00:53:59.719 --> 00:54:01.519
found the coach. I found a guy used to be
983
00:54:01.880 --> 00:54:03.559
a hitting coach for the Blue Jays, and I'm going
984
00:54:03.639 --> 00:54:06.039
to go spend an hour with him, and you know,
985
00:54:06.119 --> 00:54:07.719
for one hundred and fifty bucks, he's going to hit
986
00:54:07.800 --> 00:54:11.960
balls indoors. They'd look at me like like, are you
987
00:54:12.199 --> 00:54:16.119
just have you lost your mind? Yeah? So whatever it
988
00:54:16.199 --> 00:54:19.840
is about golf, it's it's a very, very different animal.
989
00:54:20.360 --> 00:54:21.639
So you notice that right away.
990
00:54:21.800 --> 00:54:27.159
Yeah, again, coming from this idea of Beer League Softball
991
00:54:27.239 --> 00:54:29.880
having fun, giving out a funny little thing at the
992
00:54:29.960 --> 00:54:32.239
end of the game, no one feels shame and embarrassed.
993
00:54:32.280 --> 00:54:36.480
And as you just said, nobody's signing up for batting
994
00:54:36.559 --> 00:54:38.519
lessons with an ext blue jay hitting coach.
995
00:54:39.440 --> 00:54:40.079
How quickly?
996
00:54:41.199 --> 00:54:43.960
How soon should I say, when you got into golf,
997
00:54:43.960 --> 00:54:46.840
did you start to realize, well, maybe there's a better way,
998
00:54:46.920 --> 00:54:49.920
or a different way, or maybe there's another avenue that
999
00:54:49.960 --> 00:54:50.519
I could take.
1000
00:54:51.840 --> 00:54:56.000
Well, it was probably I think it was I don't know,
1001
00:54:56.159 --> 00:54:59.760
maybe five six years in and I started to get
1002
00:54:59.800 --> 00:55:01.760
to the point where I could shoot in the eighties
1003
00:55:01.760 --> 00:55:04.920
on a regular basis, and I was as crazy as
1004
00:55:04.920 --> 00:55:08.519
anybody else. You know, I would get pissed off if
1005
00:55:08.559 --> 00:55:12.000
I didn't, you know, shoot my eighty four instead of
1006
00:55:12.159 --> 00:55:14.199
you know, if I went out and shot ninety two
1007
00:55:14.360 --> 00:55:19.599
that day, right And I just thought, man, I'm I'm
1008
00:55:19.639 --> 00:55:21.519
falling into the same traps that I saw these other
1009
00:55:21.599 --> 00:55:23.119
guys fall into, and I don't want to do that.
1010
00:55:23.159 --> 00:55:27.239
So thankfully I have a background as a mental health
1011
00:55:27.239 --> 00:55:31.199
counselor and executive coach, and I was able to look
1012
00:55:31.239 --> 00:55:33.360
at some of the things I've learned along the way there,
1013
00:55:34.079 --> 00:55:38.840
specifically this whole field of emotional intelligence, and I was
1014
00:55:38.880 --> 00:55:42.159
able to go, Okay, how do I want to approach
1015
00:55:42.199 --> 00:55:46.559
this thing? And that's where the whole scratch attitude. That's
1016
00:55:46.639 --> 00:55:48.679
the genesis of the whole scratch attitude idea.
1017
00:55:49.719 --> 00:55:52.199
You know, it's interesting that a lot of golf, I mean,
1018
00:55:52.199 --> 00:55:54.400
it's been you know, obviously the basis of my little
1019
00:55:54.400 --> 00:55:56.880
swing thoughts. You know, I don't know why somebody little
1020
00:55:57.239 --> 00:56:00.000
the show's swing thoughts. We've talked about the mental side
1021
00:56:00.159 --> 00:56:02.039
of the game, but you and I have talked about this,
1022
00:56:02.119 --> 00:56:03.880
you and O'Connor and I have talked about.
1023
00:56:04.000 --> 00:56:05.440
That that I don't know that.
1024
00:56:06.920 --> 00:56:10.400
The mental side of golf really sums up what you're
1025
00:56:10.440 --> 00:56:13.760
talking about, because most people think about you know, mental
1026
00:56:13.760 --> 00:56:18.559
strategy as a strategy as a way of being so
1027
00:56:18.639 --> 00:56:22.480
that you can, you know, push away those demons that
1028
00:56:22.480 --> 00:56:24.159
we all have. But I think you think of it
1029
00:56:24.360 --> 00:56:25.199
in a different way.
1030
00:56:25.960 --> 00:56:30.000
Yeah, I look at to me, I look at it.
1031
00:56:30.000 --> 00:56:34.119
There's four quadrants that go into this, you know, the
1032
00:56:34.199 --> 00:56:37.039
alchemy of your of your golf. One of them is
1033
00:56:37.039 --> 00:56:40.119
physical fitness or golf fitness. One of them is your
1034
00:56:40.119 --> 00:56:43.239
golf technique or your your ability with the fourteen clubs.
1035
00:56:44.079 --> 00:56:47.079
Another one is your mental game, and the and the
1036
00:56:47.119 --> 00:56:50.079
fourth one is your emotional skill. Right, I would draw
1037
00:56:50.079 --> 00:56:53.480
a distinction between your mental game and your emotional skill.
1038
00:56:53.559 --> 00:56:54.960
You know, That's what I was getting. I think you
1039
00:56:55.000 --> 00:56:59.440
think about emotional intelligence as it relates to golf differently.
1040
00:57:00.119 --> 00:57:02.400
Been a lot of the gurus of the mental side.
1041
00:57:02.440 --> 00:57:04.320
Yeah, it's not for me. It's not a subset of
1042
00:57:04.360 --> 00:57:07.639
the mental game. It's its own thing. And in the
1043
00:57:07.679 --> 00:57:10.760
same way that in the same way that if you
1044
00:57:10.960 --> 00:57:14.519
were to if we were to go play golf, say
1045
00:57:14.519 --> 00:57:18.280
in the spring, and you know I normally hit it
1046
00:57:19.159 --> 00:57:22.599
xum out off the tee and we play around in
1047
00:57:22.679 --> 00:57:26.760
the spring and I go, holy shit, like I'm twenty
1048
00:57:26.800 --> 00:57:31.800
thirty yards, I'm twenty thirty yards shorter than where I
1049
00:57:31.920 --> 00:57:35.079
was last year. Well, there's there's nothing I can do
1050
00:57:35.159 --> 00:57:38.960
about my golf fitness during that round. If I want to,
1051
00:57:39.039 --> 00:57:42.760
if I want to do something about it, I'm going
1052
00:57:42.840 --> 00:57:45.000
to need to go to the gym or starrt yoga, whatever,
1053
00:57:45.000 --> 00:57:47.360
whatever the heck, and hopefully a month or two months
1054
00:57:47.440 --> 00:57:50.559
or three months down the road, I'll have that swing
1055
00:57:50.559 --> 00:57:54.320
speedback on the emotional The emotional side of the game
1056
00:57:54.400 --> 00:57:57.480
is the same if you're if you're on the golf
1057
00:57:57.519 --> 00:58:02.559
course and you're finding yourself habitually stressed, habitually anxious, or
1058
00:58:02.960 --> 00:58:07.360
habitually frustrated and angry. From my perspective, there's no Jedi
1059
00:58:07.480 --> 00:58:11.360
mind trick. It's going to get you out of that state. Yes,
1060
00:58:11.480 --> 00:58:13.960
you can do some breathing, or you can, you know,
1061
00:58:14.000 --> 00:58:16.880
say something positive to yourself and you might drop yourself
1062
00:58:16.920 --> 00:58:20.159
down from a nine level anxiety to a seven or six,
1063
00:58:20.719 --> 00:58:23.039
or you might drop yourself from a nine frustration to
1064
00:58:23.079 --> 00:58:25.599
a seven or six, but you're not going to fundamentally
1065
00:58:25.639 --> 00:58:28.599
alter that state. So my perspective is you need to
1066
00:58:28.760 --> 00:58:33.519
cultivate positive emotions off the golf course in the same
1067
00:58:33.559 --> 00:58:36.480
way that you cultivate your fitness off the golf. It's
1068
00:58:36.480 --> 00:58:40.320
a practice like any other aspect of it. Yeah. Yeah,
1069
00:58:40.360 --> 00:58:43.400
And as a recreational player, as a beer league golfer,
1070
00:58:45.000 --> 00:58:46.679
that doesn't mean that I'm going to approach it in
1071
00:58:46.719 --> 00:58:49.679
the same way that you know someone a pro might,
1072
00:58:50.559 --> 00:58:51.920
But it does mean that I'm going to take a
1073
00:58:51.960 --> 00:58:54.960
few minutes on a regular basis just to do some
1074
00:58:55.119 --> 00:58:58.440
things that will help me be on the golf course
1075
00:58:58.480 --> 00:59:02.400
in with more of a sense of gratitude and acceptance
1076
00:59:02.480 --> 00:59:05.880
and joy and less of a sense of you know,
1077
00:59:06.119 --> 00:59:07.599
expectation and frustration.
1078
00:59:08.320 --> 00:59:10.440
And I think like we don't differ on this. I
1079
00:59:10.440 --> 00:59:14.199
think we've we've discussed this before that either either or
1080
00:59:14.679 --> 00:59:18.000
whether you're working on your breathing or you're trying to
1081
00:59:18.039 --> 00:59:20.440
be more present during a round of golf, or you're
1082
00:59:20.480 --> 00:59:24.000
trying not to be as frustrated, it's it's it's a
1083
00:59:24.199 --> 00:59:26.920
it's as it's as much a practice as you know,
1084
00:59:27.119 --> 00:59:30.480
journaling off the course and looking back at your rounds
1085
00:59:30.480 --> 00:59:33.920
with gratitude and all of those things. Like get they're
1086
00:59:33.960 --> 00:59:36.719
either I think they're either or, but they're they're both
1087
00:59:36.719 --> 00:59:40.440
a technique and a practice. You know, like you you
1088
00:59:40.480 --> 00:59:43.800
can say of the golfer's frustrated on day one, you
1089
00:59:43.840 --> 00:59:47.800
can practice you know, breathing whatever it is, being more present,
1090
00:59:47.840 --> 00:59:51.199
and ninety days later, hopefully you've you've made some changes.
1091
00:59:52.440 --> 00:59:55.679
And as far as your emotional you know, equanimity, it's
1092
00:59:55.719 --> 00:59:59.519
again it's not something you can do on only one day.
1093
00:59:59.519 --> 01:00:01.639
It's a some you want to sort of adopt on
1094
01:00:01.719 --> 01:00:02.280
many days.
1095
01:00:03.480 --> 01:00:08.000
Yeah, I mean I like to I like to do something.
1096
01:00:08.079 --> 01:00:10.280
The journaling is a big thing for me, but I
1097
01:00:10.360 --> 01:00:13.000
like to do things off the golf course. Spend five
1098
01:00:13.079 --> 01:00:20.800
or ten minutes after a round and focus on. To me,
1099
01:00:20.920 --> 01:00:23.159
your emotions are like a muscle, and the more you
1100
01:00:23.280 --> 01:00:27.159
use it, the more you're inclined that way. So the
1101
01:00:27.159 --> 01:00:31.159
more I consciously connect with something, with things that I'm
1102
01:00:31.199 --> 01:00:34.840
grateful for, the more I'm going to be inclined to
1103
01:00:34.880 --> 01:00:39.000
be grateful down the road. And to me, gratitude is
1104
01:00:39.039 --> 01:00:44.280
the key emotion. I mean, yeah, confidence is nice and yeah,
1105
01:00:44.280 --> 01:00:48.320
et cetera. But if I've got gratitude, I'm going to
1106
01:00:48.360 --> 01:00:53.760
be able to my goal if I'm playing in a
1107
01:00:54.679 --> 01:00:58.119
golf tournament is I want to be able to let
1108
01:00:58.159 --> 01:01:03.480
golf be golf, and which means that if I'm letting
1109
01:01:03.519 --> 01:01:06.159
golf be golf, which I'm going to play, I'm going
1110
01:01:06.199 --> 01:01:10.079
to have some great rounds. I'm going to have some okay,
1111
01:01:10.119 --> 01:01:16.360
some good rounds, some okay rounds. I think it's all
1112
01:01:16.400 --> 01:01:17.760
your phone. But that's another thing.
1113
01:01:18.880 --> 01:01:20.360
I knew what we were going to get to Oshuwa
1114
01:01:20.440 --> 01:01:21.719
at some point in that list.
1115
01:01:21.920 --> 01:01:24.039
But if I'm not able to let golf be golf,
1116
01:01:24.559 --> 01:01:28.760
if I'm sabotaging. If my emotions are sabotaging me, I
1117
01:01:28.840 --> 01:01:32.239
can't I can't access those great rounds that will never happen.
1118
01:01:32.280 --> 01:01:33.639
What do you think of this? I think.
1119
01:01:36.119 --> 01:01:40.760
Gratitude is like the icebreaker ship. Yeah, you know if
1120
01:01:40.800 --> 01:01:46.039
you if you have gratitude, it really can take care
1121
01:01:46.079 --> 01:01:49.119
of all the other emotions behind it because it's breaking
1122
01:01:49.159 --> 01:01:53.039
the ice of perspective. That's what I wanted to say.
1123
01:01:53.079 --> 01:01:56.960
Do you think that gratitude, yes, gives you perspective. Yes,
1124
01:01:57.360 --> 01:01:59.960
it's it's the key that unlocks it. It's the icebreaker,
1125
01:02:00.039 --> 01:02:01.480
whatever you want to call it.
1126
01:02:01.480 --> 01:02:03.800
It's the one thing. If someone was to say to me, hey,
1127
01:02:04.719 --> 01:02:09.199
you know what my emotions are, you know, sabotaging my
1128
01:02:09.239 --> 01:02:12.440
efforts on the golf course, what can I do? I
1129
01:02:12.480 --> 01:02:16.880
would say, get into a habit of gratitude and down
1130
01:02:16.880 --> 01:02:20.639
the road it will change things for you. I would agree.
1131
01:02:21.800 --> 01:02:26.159
In almost every round of golf, including playing yesterday, which
1132
01:02:26.239 --> 01:02:29.599
might be my last round of the year, I took
1133
01:02:29.840 --> 01:02:32.760
many breaks during that round to look around, to do
1134
01:02:32.840 --> 01:02:37.199
a three sixty of where I was and trying to
1135
01:02:37.639 --> 01:02:40.880
mentally soak it in to have that as a real
1136
01:02:41.159 --> 01:02:44.880
anchored sense, which is why I throw it back to you, like,
1137
01:02:46.440 --> 01:02:52.920
cultivating an attitude of gratitude really does buffer all the
1138
01:02:52.960 --> 01:02:54.920
other vagaries of the game.
1139
01:02:55.519 --> 01:03:01.880
Yeah, fair enough, because I mean I'm going to Perhaps
1140
01:03:01.960 --> 01:03:04.639
the pros are in the same boat. I don't know.
1141
01:03:04.679 --> 01:03:07.400
I've never been close to that level of golf, but
1142
01:03:07.960 --> 01:03:09.719
there's no doubt that I am going to go up,
1143
01:03:10.239 --> 01:03:13.119
go out and screw up. I'm going to hit bad shots,
1144
01:03:13.400 --> 01:03:16.800
I'm going to make bad decisions. I'm going to miss putts,
1145
01:03:16.840 --> 01:03:17.679
even in my best friend.
1146
01:03:17.760 --> 01:03:20.800
Yeah, I was there as I saw it.
1147
01:03:20.920 --> 01:03:25.599
You saw it. So gratitude is the thing that allows
1148
01:03:25.599 --> 01:03:28.079
you to just you know, take a breath and move
1149
01:03:28.119 --> 01:03:30.119
through this. Now, there's no doubt about it. I have
1150
01:03:30.159 --> 01:03:32.519
more fun when I'm playing my best than I do
1151
01:03:32.559 --> 01:03:36.400
when I'm playing my worst. This is not about you know, singing,
1152
01:03:36.519 --> 01:03:40.880
you know, be happy kind of thing when when you're
1153
01:03:40.920 --> 01:03:47.320
on the bogie train. But gratitude's key man. Yeah, were
1154
01:03:47.400 --> 01:03:50.320
you or I actually grateful for anything after Ashawar?
1155
01:03:50.719 --> 01:03:53.199
For people who don't, Yeah, we Kent and I were
1156
01:03:53.800 --> 01:04:00.159
partners in a Ontario Senior Am qualifier where neither of
1157
01:04:00.159 --> 01:04:02.960
our games showed up at the same time, and you
1158
01:04:03.000 --> 01:04:05.840
know we were It was it was pretty grim. It
1159
01:04:05.880 --> 01:04:08.360
was uh, it was pretty grim while it was going on.
1160
01:04:08.440 --> 01:04:12.679
But we we went to five guys burgers after and
1161
01:04:12.719 --> 01:04:15.719
we drowned our sorrows and burgers and gravy and fries
1162
01:04:15.800 --> 01:04:23.159
and uh, milkshakes to milkshakes. That's right. Being competitive, which
1163
01:04:23.199 --> 01:04:27.280
I know you are, how do you align your natural
1164
01:04:27.360 --> 01:04:30.639
And this might be for somebody listening, like we all
1165
01:04:30.639 --> 01:04:32.239
want to do better, as you say, it's more fun
1166
01:04:32.239 --> 01:04:35.360
than you're playing well. So how does being competitive align
1167
01:04:35.840 --> 01:04:38.760
with your tenant or of your anchoring gratitude in what
1168
01:04:38.840 --> 01:04:40.239
you do well?
1169
01:04:41.760 --> 01:04:44.679
To me, there's kind of two. The way I think
1170
01:04:44.719 --> 01:04:47.159
of it as like I think it was Bobby Jones
1171
01:04:47.159 --> 01:04:49.239
who said there's golf and then there's tournament golf. H
1172
01:04:49.960 --> 01:04:53.239
So what I like to do is I think about
1173
01:04:53.639 --> 01:04:57.280
Yin and Yang. You never hear it said yang In.
1174
01:04:58.519 --> 01:05:01.480
It's always said Yin Yang, right mm hmm. So to me,
1175
01:05:01.719 --> 01:05:05.039
it's put first things first. So the first thing for
1176
01:05:05.079 --> 01:05:08.079
me is you get your heart in the right place.
1177
01:05:08.880 --> 01:05:12.840
You you you understand. I know why I'm there. I'm
1178
01:05:12.880 --> 01:05:15.239
a paid every tournament I go in, I'm paying to
1179
01:05:15.239 --> 01:05:20.079
be there. I'm there for I'm there for recreational enjoyment.
1180
01:05:20.719 --> 01:05:23.239
I get, you know, I get anchored into these into
1181
01:05:23.280 --> 01:05:27.639
a into a positive state that hopefully allows me to
1182
01:05:27.719 --> 01:05:33.400
let golf be golf. And then on the yank side, UH,
1183
01:05:33.800 --> 01:05:36.480
to be honest, I I do some things around the
1184
01:05:36.719 --> 01:05:41.320
self belief as well, because I I'm My perspective is
1185
01:05:41.360 --> 01:05:46.280
that you cannot do anything that's outside of your belief system.
1186
01:05:46.679 --> 01:05:53.519
So if you and beliefs, one way to think of
1187
01:05:53.559 --> 01:05:55.880
it is that you've got this little five six year
1188
01:05:55.880 --> 01:06:01.159
old somewhere in your subconscious. Beliefs operate fairly. They're simple,
1189
01:06:01.199 --> 01:06:06.239
but they're very powerful. So if you believe that you're
1190
01:06:06.280 --> 01:06:12.559
worthy enough to achieve something, then chances are you will
1191
01:06:12.599 --> 01:06:15.599
perform in a way that you know, all things considered
1192
01:06:15.639 --> 01:06:17.800
that will enable you to do that. But if at
1193
01:06:17.800 --> 01:06:21.599
a deep level, let's say, if my game is not
1194
01:06:21.679 --> 01:06:23.599
at this level, as you know, but let's say that
1195
01:06:23.679 --> 01:06:27.880
I was, you know, attempting to qualify for the PGA Tour,
1196
01:06:29.079 --> 01:06:32.559
and if I don't believe that I'm worthy to be there,
1197
01:06:33.840 --> 01:06:35.920
it doesn't matter how well I can strike it, it
1198
01:06:35.920 --> 01:06:38.639
doesn't matter how well I can course management. It doesn't
1199
01:06:38.639 --> 01:06:41.679
matter who my gaddy is, it doesn't matter you will
1200
01:06:41.719 --> 01:06:45.239
not exceed your core beliefs. At least that's my perspective.
1201
01:06:45.760 --> 01:06:48.159
Do you think that most people are held back by
1202
01:06:48.199 --> 01:06:49.639
that in their games?
1203
01:06:51.039 --> 01:06:52.880
That's somewhere that they.
1204
01:06:52.639 --> 01:06:56.039
Can say that I was, I can say that I
1205
01:06:56.039 --> 01:06:59.079
can't because that's not something most people will whatever thing
1206
01:06:59.199 --> 01:07:01.480
to address, or if they did thing to address, it
1207
01:07:01.559 --> 01:07:05.079
wouldn't be it'd be reticent to address that because I said,
1208
01:07:05.079 --> 01:07:08.000
as you say, you can have all the good conditioning
1209
01:07:08.119 --> 01:07:10.079
and clubs, and you've got a good swing and you're
1210
01:07:10.079 --> 01:07:13.760
pretty good player. But if somewhere down deep you don't
1211
01:07:13.800 --> 01:07:17.000
believe that you belong in that group, I think that
1212
01:07:17.039 --> 01:07:17.679
holds you back.
1213
01:07:18.000 --> 01:07:24.320
Yes, without I'm I'm convinced that that's true in every
1214
01:07:24.360 --> 01:07:27.880
aspect of our lives. It's pretty hard to overcome that, yes,
1215
01:07:28.679 --> 01:07:32.000
and it can be. It can be overcome. It can be.
1216
01:07:33.320 --> 01:07:37.760
I mean, this last season was arguably the despite Oshawa,
1217
01:07:37.960 --> 01:07:41.280
was the best, the best competitive season that I've had.
1218
01:07:42.039 --> 01:07:45.639
And you know, I started the season by consciously deciding
1219
01:07:45.639 --> 01:07:48.280
to do some to do some work on me. I mean,
1220
01:07:48.360 --> 01:07:52.360
it's easy as a coach to, you know, to help
1221
01:07:52.400 --> 01:07:54.880
everybody else on the planet do work on themselves, but
1222
01:07:55.159 --> 01:07:59.199
sometimes you need to look in the mirror, and so
1223
01:07:59.280 --> 01:08:02.119
I felt that my I needed some work on my belief.
1224
01:08:03.599 --> 01:08:08.000
So what did you change? Well, I would, you know,
1225
01:08:09.920 --> 01:08:16.399
I would on a daily basis, every morning, I would
1226
01:08:16.439 --> 01:08:22.399
sit down and write down I am statements, and I
1227
01:08:22.439 --> 01:08:26.560
would write down what I felt was the golf of
1228
01:08:26.600 --> 01:08:30.680
my dreams. And I would then write down what I
1229
01:08:30.760 --> 01:08:36.039
call convincers that would would align with that. Because the
1230
01:08:36.039 --> 01:08:38.319
way the sub way your belief system works is that
1231
01:08:40.000 --> 01:08:43.119
I could say to myself, Okay, I want to be
1232
01:08:43.720 --> 01:08:46.439
I was a pretty good goalie when I was a kid.
1233
01:08:48.119 --> 01:08:49.800
I want to be the starting goalie for the Leafs
1234
01:08:49.840 --> 01:08:53.920
next year. And I could create a mental image of that,
1235
01:08:54.079 --> 01:08:55.600
and I could do all that kind of stuff, But
1236
01:08:55.680 --> 01:08:59.359
at some level, my subconscious would go, wait a minute, pal,
1237
01:08:59.479 --> 01:09:01.720
you weren't that good to start with. Even when you're
1238
01:09:01.760 --> 01:09:04.319
back when you're eighteen years old, you're certainly not that
1239
01:09:04.359 --> 01:09:07.319
good as sixty nine. So let's just you know it
1240
01:09:07.359 --> 01:09:12.960
ain't going to happen. So what I wanted to do was.
1241
01:09:14.760 --> 01:09:20.159
Basically convince myself that almost reconfigure your belief hard drive
1242
01:09:20.159 --> 01:09:20.800
a little. Yeah.
1243
01:09:20.840 --> 01:09:25.239
Like I would start, I'll tell you what I started with.
1244
01:09:25.880 --> 01:09:28.079
I would start with an im statement, and my IM
1245
01:09:28.199 --> 01:09:35.439
statement was I'm born to be an athlete. I easily
1246
01:09:35.479 --> 01:09:40.319
and naturally enter flow state every time I have an
1247
01:09:40.359 --> 01:09:47.520
opportunity to hit a golf ball, and that to me
1248
01:09:48.159 --> 01:09:56.039
was that to me was convincing me that on a
1249
01:09:56.039 --> 01:09:59.920
couple levels, one that I don't need to do anything.
1250
01:10:00.520 --> 01:10:02.560
I don't need to learn anything. I don't need to
1251
01:10:03.560 --> 01:10:05.960
I don't need to get better, I don't need to
1252
01:10:06.000 --> 01:10:10.000
do anything whatsoever. Then then connect with the truth that
1253
01:10:10.359 --> 01:10:13.039
I'm born to be an athlete. Now, obviously I wasn't
1254
01:10:13.079 --> 01:10:14.840
born to be Wayne Gretzky. I wasn't born to be
1255
01:10:14.840 --> 01:10:17.359
on the PGA Tour. I'm not trying to suggest that
1256
01:10:17.399 --> 01:10:21.560
I'm you know, but but the the litmus test of
1257
01:10:21.720 --> 01:10:23.479
what you're born to do is flow.
1258
01:10:24.119 --> 01:10:28.880
Yeah. And if I may interject, so, so you prior
1259
01:10:28.920 --> 01:10:32.960
to that, you think that you didn't you that part
1260
01:10:32.960 --> 01:10:35.680
of you suspected you weren't an athlete, or that you
1261
01:10:35.720 --> 01:10:36.479
weren't good enough.
1262
01:10:39.479 --> 01:10:44.720
I would think that because of my uh between you
1263
01:10:44.800 --> 01:10:47.800
and I and anybody who listens, because of my family background,
1264
01:10:48.800 --> 01:10:52.199
I would come out as a I. I developed a
1265
01:10:52.239 --> 01:10:54.479
core belief as a kid that I that I wasn't
1266
01:10:54.520 --> 01:10:58.800
quite worthy, that I wasn't good enough, and I've had
1267
01:10:58.840 --> 01:11:01.319
to do some things in my personal life, my business
1268
01:11:01.359 --> 01:11:04.000
life to overcome that, and so I decided to apply
1269
01:11:04.159 --> 01:11:08.000
that to golf, and so I would do I would
1270
01:11:08.039 --> 01:11:10.880
start with that, so some I AM statements, some I
1271
01:11:10.920 --> 01:11:13.359
AM statements, and and then I would write down for
1272
01:11:13.479 --> 01:11:16.319
me what I would what represented for me the golf
1273
01:11:16.319 --> 01:11:19.600
of my dreams, which is being able to be in
1274
01:11:19.640 --> 01:11:26.079
a senior tournament and being able to let golf be
1275
01:11:26.159 --> 01:11:31.479
golf and shoot par or under par in a tournament round.
1276
01:11:33.600 --> 01:11:36.960
And you were there for Oshawa, but you were you
1277
01:11:37.000 --> 01:11:39.079
were also there at the the on the final day
1278
01:11:39.079 --> 01:11:40.039
of the club Link shoot Out.
1279
01:11:40.840 --> 01:11:44.920
Oh yeah, well yeah, further record, we had we had
1280
01:11:44.920 --> 01:11:48.439
the which was you know, as low as it god
1281
01:11:48.520 --> 01:11:52.279
for us competitively this summer. But we also had a
1282
01:11:52.319 --> 01:11:55.840
two day tournament that we won together, both of us
1283
01:11:55.920 --> 01:11:58.760
playing on the second day probably as good as either
1284
01:11:59.319 --> 01:12:01.520
It's the best both of us have played at the
1285
01:12:01.560 --> 01:12:05.560
same time. I've talked about it on the show. I
1286
01:12:05.600 --> 01:12:09.159
think between you and I we made nine birdies that day. Yeah,
1287
01:12:09.439 --> 01:12:13.319
and you know, it was pretty cool to be part
1288
01:12:13.359 --> 01:12:15.399
of it. I mean both because because usually you know,
1289
01:12:15.439 --> 01:12:17.960
they talk about guys in these tournaments hammon egging it,
1290
01:12:18.640 --> 01:12:20.880
but we weren't really doing that. We were kind of
1291
01:12:20.920 --> 01:12:25.399
both playing very very good concurrently. In fact, that's why
1292
01:12:25.439 --> 01:12:27.199
you know, we would have been even further. I think
1293
01:12:27.199 --> 01:12:30.479
we were five under or six under something like that
1294
01:12:31.159 --> 01:12:34.920
as a team. Yeah, it might have even been six hunder.
1295
01:12:36.640 --> 01:12:38.439
Well, whatever it was, it was pretty good. It was
1296
01:12:38.479 --> 01:12:41.720
fun to be part of. And I don't think that
1297
01:12:41.720 --> 01:12:45.520
that uh, I don't think that would have been possible
1298
01:12:45.520 --> 01:12:47.920
for me. I mean I was, Yeah, there was a
1299
01:12:47.920 --> 01:12:50.399
couple other things this summer that happened that I don't
1300
01:12:50.399 --> 01:12:52.920
think would have been it would have been possible for
1301
01:12:53.000 --> 01:12:55.600
And we're talking a subtle difference, Yeah, And the big,
1302
01:12:56.000 --> 01:12:59.960
the big difference for me was was being able to
1303
01:13:00.800 --> 01:13:05.000
come off of those rounds and look in the mirror
1304
01:13:05.039 --> 01:13:08.720
and say, you know what, I let golf be golf today.
1305
01:13:08.960 --> 01:13:13.359
I just I was in the moment. I enjoyed it.
1306
01:13:13.359 --> 01:13:15.399
It was what it was. I didn't get in my
1307
01:13:15.479 --> 01:13:18.279
own way, And for me, that's major.
1308
01:13:19.319 --> 01:13:22.439
Do you find it harder or easier to do that
1309
01:13:25.039 --> 01:13:28.079
in a tournament round or in a non tournament round.
1310
01:13:28.640 --> 01:13:33.640
For me, in a tournament round, for sure. That's I'm
1311
01:13:33.640 --> 01:13:39.199
not even sure I asked the question correctly. In terms
1312
01:13:39.199 --> 01:13:41.319
of like getting into a flow state. For me, I
1313
01:13:41.439 --> 01:13:46.560
find there's a real distinction in my acuity when it
1314
01:13:46.600 --> 01:13:49.880
comes to non tournament rounds and tournament rounds. Not that
1315
01:13:49.920 --> 01:13:52.960
I don't love playing golf for fun. You know, when
1316
01:13:52.960 --> 01:13:54.199
you and I played a couple of weeks ago at
1317
01:13:54.199 --> 01:13:56.560
Glenn Abbey, we had a great time. Yeah, you know,
1318
01:13:58.199 --> 01:14:00.840
enjoyed the day. But I, I just know I bring
1319
01:14:00.880 --> 01:14:03.319
a different focus. What about you?
1320
01:14:05.119 --> 01:14:09.039
I would say that that's absolutely true. I would say
1321
01:14:09.079 --> 01:14:16.439
that one of the one of the challenges for me
1322
01:14:17.079 --> 01:14:23.560
is when I play casual golf, especially casual golf at
1323
01:14:23.600 --> 01:14:28.479
my club, I can get into a trance where I'm
1324
01:14:28.600 --> 01:14:33.760
just okay, I'm on number two, it's a par three,
1325
01:14:34.319 --> 01:14:37.319
I'm on this tea box, it's a seven iron. I'm
1326
01:14:37.359 --> 01:14:39.560
not thinking about it. The target, I'm not thinking about it.
1327
01:14:39.680 --> 01:14:41.840
I just get up, peg it, grab the club out
1328
01:14:41.840 --> 01:14:45.720
of the bag, bash it. And when I'm in a tournament,
1329
01:14:46.960 --> 01:14:51.640
it's then I don't want to function that way, and
1330
01:14:51.680 --> 01:14:56.000
it's sometimes harder if you're into that mode, a casual mode.
1331
01:14:56.479 --> 01:14:59.239
Mostly that's why a lot of the guys that we
1332
01:14:59.279 --> 01:15:05.760
play against at that you consistently really well. A they're
1333
01:15:05.920 --> 01:15:09.560
you know, they're likely better players than me anyway, but
1334
01:15:10.079 --> 01:15:14.680
by they play a lot of tournament golf. That's what
1335
01:15:14.720 --> 01:15:17.479
they do, and so they don't have to, you know,
1336
01:15:17.760 --> 01:15:21.960
switch this modality of thought. So for me anyway, that's.
1337
01:15:22.279 --> 01:15:25.520
Yeah, I mean, you know, yeah, I think part of
1338
01:15:25.560 --> 01:15:28.520
it is, you know, playing a lot more tournaments, which
1339
01:15:28.920 --> 01:15:32.159
again I played twenty five ish events this year. It's
1340
01:15:32.199 --> 01:15:35.319
a lot of tournaments, and you were probably similar. I
1341
01:15:35.399 --> 01:15:40.479
just find that I can get into that. That's a
1342
01:15:40.479 --> 01:15:42.800
great way of describing it. Where you go to a
1343
01:15:42.840 --> 01:15:45.920
whole to part three, you don't even really laser it
1344
01:15:45.960 --> 01:15:48.279
because you know, with that pain, it's like you're seven
1345
01:15:48.359 --> 01:15:52.319
iron and that pins an eight iron. But I don't
1346
01:15:52.359 --> 01:15:56.359
know that that's the best practice for playing tournament golf.
1347
01:15:57.399 --> 01:16:02.119
But I also don't think grinding every is productive. I
1348
01:16:02.159 --> 01:16:03.920
think there's got to be some time, and I would
1349
01:16:03.920 --> 01:16:06.840
say the last tournament I played was October seventh, the
1350
01:16:06.920 --> 01:16:10.560
last time I was in tournament guy mode, and the
1351
01:16:10.640 --> 01:16:12.720
last month of playing golf, I've been in kind of
1352
01:16:12.760 --> 01:16:17.760
like a pleasant dopeytrance, you know, where I I've had
1353
01:16:17.800 --> 01:16:20.640
some decent rounds. I've hit the ball okay, but I
1354
01:16:20.680 --> 01:16:25.399
haven't really I haven't really paid the same mental attention,
1355
01:16:26.000 --> 01:16:28.239
nor do I bring the same acuity to it.
1356
01:16:28.479 --> 01:16:32.560
Yeah. So for me, what I've what I've decided just
1357
01:16:32.600 --> 01:16:36.119
the other day was for next year. What I want
1358
01:16:36.159 --> 01:16:39.760
to do is decide before I tee it up, how
1359
01:16:39.840 --> 01:16:43.039
I'm going to approach the town. Am i Am I
1360
01:16:43.119 --> 01:16:46.760
here for a few laughs? Totally? Or am I here
1361
01:16:46.840 --> 01:16:49.439
for a few laughs? And I'm trying to use this
1362
01:16:49.520 --> 01:16:51.640
as a as a tournament prep.
1363
01:16:51.760 --> 01:16:54.560
I had my coach for a long time used to
1364
01:16:54.560 --> 01:16:56.319
say this to me when I'd be on my way
1365
01:16:56.359 --> 01:16:58.079
to Men's nineteen, say are you going to play today?
1366
01:16:58.119 --> 01:17:00.760
You're going to practice? And say what I used to say?
1367
01:17:00.800 --> 01:17:02.439
What do you mean? So, well, you're going to use
1368
01:17:02.439 --> 01:17:05.199
this as around to practice some of the stuff you're
1369
01:17:05.199 --> 01:17:07.600
working on, or you're going to play because you got
1370
01:17:07.600 --> 01:17:08.319
to make a decision.
1371
01:17:08.439 --> 01:17:09.359
Yeah, because if you're going to.
1372
01:17:09.399 --> 01:17:13.199
Play, you can't spend the day trying to fuck around
1373
01:17:13.199 --> 01:17:14.960
with your golf swing. You've got to play golf.
1374
01:17:15.039 --> 01:17:20.079
Yeah, brilliant, that's yeah. What about the average player?
1375
01:17:21.720 --> 01:17:24.560
As we wrap up this exclusive one on one with
1376
01:17:25.680 --> 01:17:31.119
that Scratch Attitude on X Twitter and so the book
1377
01:17:31.239 --> 01:17:35.199
is was originally called a play like Ray Yeah, and
1378
01:17:35.239 --> 01:17:37.520
now it's Scratch Attitude. And you're also working on another
1379
01:17:37.520 --> 01:17:39.920
book that yeah, I am two of them to be
1380
01:17:39.960 --> 01:17:43.600
out at the same time. You really, yeah, Yeah, I'm
1381
01:17:43.640 --> 01:17:50.720
trying to. I've been trying to find maybe you'd call
1382
01:17:50.800 --> 01:17:53.399
it an authentic voice or whatever. But I want to.
1383
01:17:56.159 --> 01:17:59.560
I don't want to just put something out there that's
1384
01:18:00.119 --> 01:18:03.199
a regurgitation of what you can get wherever. So if
1385
01:18:03.199 --> 01:18:06.319
I don't have something different to say, why why do it?
1386
01:18:06.840 --> 01:18:11.600
But to me, I've got there's there's two I like
1387
01:18:11.680 --> 01:18:17.279
to share notes to myself, my my golf self and
1388
01:18:17.319 --> 01:18:22.279
my tournament golf self. And there there there's a distinction there.
1389
01:18:23.560 --> 01:18:26.720
So that's what I'm working on. And it's fun. We'll
1390
01:18:26.720 --> 01:18:29.119
see if it's well, we'll see if I can actually
1391
01:18:29.159 --> 01:18:32.239
finish it. Well. We talked a lot about your book.
1392
01:18:32.399 --> 01:18:36.960
We did a road trip together last April and uh,
1393
01:18:37.000 --> 01:18:39.479
and we was thinking the book would come out this year.
1394
01:18:39.520 --> 01:18:42.119
But you know what, Hey, Rome wasn't built in the day. No,
1395
01:18:42.680 --> 01:18:43.640
you know, there's no.
1396
01:18:43.680 --> 01:18:46.439
Herb already got one lease seller out there. You know,
1397
01:18:46.520 --> 01:18:48.359
I don't want to rush to get my second one.
1398
01:18:48.479 --> 01:18:50.920
So as we wrap up our one on one exclusive
1399
01:18:51.039 --> 01:18:55.479
with Ken Osborne, there's lots of good stuff that we
1400
01:18:55.520 --> 01:19:00.399
talked about. I mean, the emotional quadrant of your your
1401
01:19:00.960 --> 01:19:03.640
the cornerstones of your philosophy. I think the emotional one
1402
01:19:03.680 --> 01:19:09.760
is is something that doesn't get discussed enough. Emotional there's
1403
01:19:09.800 --> 01:19:14.359
a pop psychology term is it's your EQ, your emotional intelligence.
1404
01:19:14.399 --> 01:19:16.319
And what about the.
1405
01:19:16.199 --> 01:19:19.960
Average player and their journey. Maybe they don't want to
1406
01:19:20.000 --> 01:19:22.000
be like us, they don't want to play tournaments, but
1407
01:19:22.079 --> 01:19:24.840
they know deep in their heart that they're not having
1408
01:19:25.920 --> 01:19:28.319
as there's not they're not having the the kind of
1409
01:19:28.359 --> 01:19:31.520
fun that you described when we began, the kind of
1410
01:19:31.520 --> 01:19:35.000
fun that you were having playing Beer League softball and
1411
01:19:35.039 --> 01:19:38.840
giving out an artificial leg is a prize at the
1412
01:19:38.880 --> 01:19:42.560
end of each game. Like, that's a completely different kind
1413
01:19:42.560 --> 01:19:46.600
of vibe. Then most golfers go around in Yeah, there's
1414
01:19:46.640 --> 01:19:49.239
a you know, Tim talks a lot about this sort
1415
01:19:49.279 --> 01:19:54.199
of shroud of shame and self hatred my words that
1416
01:19:54.199 --> 01:19:57.319
that follow a lot of golfers. So what do you
1417
01:19:57.359 --> 01:19:59.880
think to the average player, as we say, what would
1418
01:19:59.880 --> 01:20:00.600
you say to them?
1419
01:20:01.079 --> 01:20:07.520
Okay, I would say, frankly, you'd get some value out
1420
01:20:07.560 --> 01:20:12.840
of reading my book. But I would say this, the
1421
01:20:12.880 --> 01:20:16.520
one thing that you've got to do, you absolutely have
1422
01:20:16.640 --> 01:20:20.680
to do, is you have to stop shitting what I
1423
01:20:20.680 --> 01:20:24.520
call shooting on yourself. You have to stop it. You
1424
01:20:24.920 --> 01:20:29.840
have to stop saying things like you you fucking idiot,
1425
01:20:30.359 --> 01:20:32.840
and you know, how did I miss out? I hit
1426
01:20:32.880 --> 01:20:35.119
it fat, I hit it thin? I did? You got
1427
01:20:35.159 --> 01:20:38.800
to stop that because when you put words to an emotion,
1428
01:20:38.920 --> 01:20:40.760
we all get them. You know, you and I hit
1429
01:20:40.760 --> 01:20:43.760
a bad shot. There's going to be a little subtle
1430
01:20:43.800 --> 01:20:47.079
wave of disappointment or frustrating, and that's normal. But when
1431
01:20:47.119 --> 01:20:49.960
you speak to that, when you put words to that,
1432
01:20:51.239 --> 01:20:53.960
you anchor that in your subcomperous So what you're doing
1433
01:20:54.039 --> 01:20:56.560
is you're anchoring a vibe and then you're going to
1434
01:20:56.600 --> 01:20:59.600
try to read a book to or whatever to get
1435
01:20:59.640 --> 01:21:01.520
you out of that vibe. Meanwhile, you go back to
1436
01:21:01.560 --> 01:21:04.079
the golf course again, you're anchored again. So you gotta
1437
01:21:04.399 --> 01:21:10.199
stop that. And that includes all complaining the course, the pins,
1438
01:21:10.319 --> 01:21:15.159
the slow play, the blah blah blah. That includes all explaining, oh,
1439
01:21:15.199 --> 01:21:16.520
you know, if I had done this, if I had
1440
01:21:16.600 --> 01:21:17.840
done if I had to move this way, I had
1441
01:21:17.840 --> 01:21:19.960
to move. Well, I don't know how that left. I
1442
01:21:20.000 --> 01:21:23.000
was standing over the ball, my this and the and
1443
01:21:23.119 --> 01:21:25.079
the other thing that you have to stop doing, in
1444
01:21:25.119 --> 01:21:27.960
my opinion, happened to me yesterday. I was playing with
1445
01:21:28.000 --> 01:21:31.239
a guy and I said, oh, Man, great putt. He goes, yeah,
1446
01:21:31.279 --> 01:21:34.640
you know, every now and then a blind squirrel, Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1447
01:21:34.720 --> 01:21:40.680
Can you fucking imagine Mohammad Ali standing over over George
1448
01:21:40.720 --> 01:21:43.239
Farman and going, yeah, you know what, every now and
1449
01:21:43.279 --> 01:21:46.319
again a blind boxer plans a lucky time. I love that.
1450
01:21:46.520 --> 01:21:47.479
The the the.
1451
01:21:47.720 --> 01:21:55.199
Complaining and explaining suddenly and overtly is what it's destroying
1452
01:21:55.960 --> 01:21:58.960
the golfer's confidence a little tiny bits of a time.
1453
01:21:59.079 --> 01:22:01.279
Yeah, and it's keeping you in that see. I just
1454
01:22:01.319 --> 01:22:04.359
think about it from a from a from an emotional
1455
01:22:04.439 --> 01:22:05.760
or spiritual point of view.
1456
01:22:05.840 --> 01:22:08.600
It keeps you in that vibe that locks you into
1457
01:22:08.600 --> 01:22:09.359
negative vibes.
1458
01:22:09.399 --> 01:22:11.840
And there's a part of you or part of our
1459
01:22:11.840 --> 01:22:16.079
brains that just wants to keep things habitual. It doesn't
1460
01:22:16.119 --> 01:22:19.079
care what the habit is. They just so if you're
1461
01:22:19.119 --> 01:22:23.079
doing that, you're just you're you're making it harder and
1462
01:22:23.119 --> 01:22:26.960
harder and harder to ever enjoy your golf. So that's
1463
01:22:27.119 --> 01:22:29.319
one thing I would say, well and got I love
1464
01:22:29.359 --> 01:22:29.720
all of that.
1465
01:22:29.760 --> 01:22:33.079
I mean, one of the things that I've quoted you
1466
01:22:33.079 --> 01:22:35.680
many many times on the show and in talking to
1467
01:22:35.680 --> 01:22:39.399
other people is that. And again, it's a practice. It's
1468
01:22:39.560 --> 01:22:43.600
habit building. It's learning to react to golf shots in
1469
01:22:43.680 --> 01:22:47.840
only one of a couple of ways, either neutral or positive.
1470
01:22:48.960 --> 01:22:53.399
I mean, it's so simple, but it takes practice. You know,
1471
01:22:53.439 --> 01:22:55.600
when I hit a bad shot, which I do on
1472
01:22:55.680 --> 01:22:59.000
every round of golf, I'm not explaining what happened the wind.
1473
01:22:59.239 --> 01:23:03.159
I mean, unless thing completely out of the ordinary or
1474
01:23:03.199 --> 01:23:05.720
the way I look at it. I hit a shot yesterday,
1475
01:23:06.760 --> 01:23:08.199
hit the ball as soon as I left my club.
1476
01:23:08.199 --> 01:23:11.920
I thought it was great, and it like for half
1477
01:23:12.159 --> 01:23:14.199
for the sake of half a yard in the air,
1478
01:23:14.800 --> 01:23:19.520
it hits this bunker and Barry's under I mean, bar
1479
01:23:20.520 --> 01:23:22.439
all I could do is hit it and it stayed
1480
01:23:22.439 --> 01:23:26.640
in the bunker. But what my reaction was, My first
1481
01:23:26.640 --> 01:23:29.960
reaction was wow, I really hit that really well. And
1482
01:23:30.039 --> 01:23:31.720
then when I got up to the green, I'm like, well,
1483
01:23:32.840 --> 01:23:34.880
all I said was a little bit of bad luck.
1484
01:23:34.960 --> 01:23:37.640
That's a shame, And I gave it about that much emotion.
1485
01:23:38.479 --> 01:23:39.880
But I know there was a time and a lot
1486
01:23:39.920 --> 01:23:43.039
of golfers listening can relate to it where you first
1487
01:23:43.079 --> 01:23:44.760
of all, you get pissed off when you see what's
1488
01:23:44.840 --> 01:23:48.239
happened to you, but also now you're complaining and explaining
1489
01:23:48.279 --> 01:23:52.600
that for minutes after. Whereas I got into the bunker
1490
01:23:52.600 --> 01:23:54.439
and I went, Okay, I know I can't get it.
1491
01:23:54.479 --> 01:23:56.600
Was in a situation where I knew I couldn't get
1492
01:23:56.640 --> 01:23:59.079
it out, but I still had a third shot to
1493
01:23:59.159 --> 01:24:01.960
hit from that bunker, and I made my just made
1494
01:24:01.960 --> 01:24:04.479
myself aware of that, Okay, now I need to hit
1495
01:24:04.479 --> 01:24:08.199
this shot. That's a drag. I acknowledged it, but it
1496
01:24:08.239 --> 01:24:12.199
was a very neutral reaction as opposed to the preponderance
1497
01:24:12.239 --> 01:24:13.199
of aggravation.
1498
01:24:13.479 --> 01:24:16.439
Most of us give those shots. That's that's big time.
1499
01:24:16.960 --> 01:24:19.199
And you know, I was going to say, if you're
1500
01:24:19.199 --> 01:24:22.680
a member in Oshawa, you got no reaction from me.
1501
01:24:22.760 --> 01:24:24.560
And the fact that I ran over that squirrel on
1502
01:24:24.600 --> 01:24:26.359
the way and it was the plate accident.
1503
01:24:26.479 --> 01:24:28.520
Yeah, the fact that we you know what we should
1504
01:24:28.600 --> 01:24:31.079
we should tell everyone about the the two hundred and
1505
01:24:31.159 --> 01:24:33.880
ninety yard part four that in a in a better
1506
01:24:33.960 --> 01:24:38.279
ball tournament, better ball meaning what one of us could
1507
01:24:38.279 --> 01:24:41.520
have a low lower score both of us double bogie
1508
01:24:42.039 --> 01:24:43.960
a two hundred and ninety yard part four.
1509
01:24:44.159 --> 01:24:46.640
Yeah, that swing, thought of you've hit it over that
1510
01:24:46.720 --> 01:24:47.119
great can.
1511
01:24:50.039 --> 01:24:51.800
And you know the other thing too that I think
1512
01:24:52.720 --> 01:24:54.960
I've taken from you and I use it all the
1513
01:24:55.000 --> 01:25:00.439
time is the So there's there's either a neutral reaction
1514
01:25:01.520 --> 01:25:02.720
or a positive reaction.
1515
01:25:02.760 --> 01:25:07.720
What's the third one? Well, neutral, positive or negative? So right,
1516
01:25:07.880 --> 01:25:11.199
so right, And what guys tend to do typically, what
1517
01:25:11.239 --> 01:25:13.279
guys tend to do is they they.
1518
01:25:13.159 --> 01:25:16.479
Overreact to the negative, right right, Yeah, so they anchor
1519
01:25:16.520 --> 01:25:19.760
and then so this that I know that's not completely yours.
1520
01:25:19.760 --> 01:25:21.359
But I've talked about this a lot for a while
1521
01:25:21.359 --> 01:25:25.520
on the show that the more Men, in particular, Tim
1522
01:25:25.520 --> 01:25:27.960
and I have talked about this. Where we're very comfortable
1523
01:25:28.279 --> 01:25:32.680
getting very angry. We're okay showing that emotion. We're not
1524
01:25:32.800 --> 01:25:37.720
as okay showing a positive emotion. My point is when
1525
01:25:37.800 --> 01:25:40.319
you and I play, or when when when I'm playing
1526
01:25:40.319 --> 01:25:43.119
with somebody, if I make a putt, you know, I
1527
01:25:43.159 --> 01:25:49.000
don't always say boomla, but I fist pump and yesterday
1528
01:25:49.840 --> 01:25:52.239
a hole after I hit it this and buried it
1529
01:25:52.279 --> 01:25:54.359
in the lip of a bunker, I made my first
1530
01:25:54.359 --> 01:25:57.960
birdy of the day yesterday and my only one, but
1531
01:25:58.000 --> 01:26:00.720
the putt went in and I was like, yeah, ah,
1532
01:26:00.760 --> 01:26:03.119
and it shocked the guys I was playing with, and
1533
01:26:03.199 --> 01:26:04.800
they kind of mocked me a little bit, like, oh,
1534
01:26:04.840 --> 01:26:07.079
I didn't realize this was a you know, a big event.
1535
01:26:07.119 --> 01:26:09.479
I go, hey, that might be and that was true.
1536
01:26:09.680 --> 01:26:12.239
That might be the only birdie I make today. Yeah,
1537
01:26:13.319 --> 01:26:16.279
why is it that that's why you're paying to be there? Exactly?
1538
01:26:16.960 --> 01:26:21.680
Why is it? Why do you think men especially are
1539
01:26:21.720 --> 01:26:26.319
more comfortable and almost embarrassed if they get too excited
1540
01:26:26.359 --> 01:26:28.039
over a good shot, but they're fine if it's a
1541
01:26:28.079 --> 01:26:30.399
bad shot and they complain and whine about it.
1542
01:26:30.640 --> 01:26:33.399
Yeah, I don't know Howard. I mean, what comes to
1543
01:26:33.439 --> 01:26:38.119
mind for me is that you know, we're we're conditioned
1544
01:26:38.760 --> 01:26:41.199
by watching the PGA Tour. I mean, the only time
1545
01:26:41.279 --> 01:26:45.760
those guys ever express any emotion typically unless they're pissed
1546
01:26:45.800 --> 01:26:49.359
off about a shot, is if they win a tournament, right,
1547
01:26:49.880 --> 01:26:53.720
or they do something in the Ryder Cup. But normally
1548
01:26:53.760 --> 01:26:56.399
they'll make these shots that you and I would die
1549
01:26:56.479 --> 01:26:59.159
to hit one of them. Ever, and it's like like, oh,
1550
01:26:59.239 --> 01:27:04.079
hum was different. Tiger would do the whole Yes, Yeah,
1551
01:27:04.279 --> 01:27:08.479
Tiger also went Tiger's dad and you know this, but
1552
01:27:08.560 --> 01:27:12.359
from the time Tiger was about twelve to fourteen, he
1553
01:27:12.760 --> 01:27:18.279
visited an army psychotherapist on a regular basis and was hypnotized.
1554
01:27:18.920 --> 01:27:23.079
And so there's a book I think like Tiger. Yeah,
1555
01:27:23.560 --> 01:27:27.119
and there's no doubt in my mind that Tiger was
1556
01:27:27.159 --> 01:27:30.640
able to anchor those moments into his subconscious.
1557
01:27:31.119 --> 01:27:35.640
Your journaling of the I AM prompts and that kind
1558
01:27:35.680 --> 01:27:38.680
of thing, it coccouraging to me when you were saying
1559
01:27:38.720 --> 01:27:41.119
it that that's a form of self hypnosis.
1560
01:27:43.479 --> 01:27:49.479
You create belief in one or two ways. You have
1561
01:27:49.960 --> 01:27:58.479
an incident that's highly emotionalized or repetition, and so you know,
1562
01:27:58.720 --> 01:28:02.000
if you can repeat the same messaging, if that messaging
1563
01:28:02.039 --> 01:28:06.239
has some kind of connection to reality, then in time
1564
01:28:06.279 --> 01:28:09.680
you'll believe it. I mean a simple example of that is,
1565
01:28:10.359 --> 01:28:14.119
you know a parent telling a kid you'll never be
1566
01:28:14.199 --> 01:28:17.359
good enough, and another parent telling a kid that, you
1567
01:28:17.399 --> 01:28:21.399
know what, keep at this, you can make it. Somebody's
1568
01:28:21.439 --> 01:28:23.640
gonna make it to the PG eight tour someday, why
1569
01:28:23.680 --> 01:28:26.159
not you? And you get that for ten to fifty
1570
01:28:26.439 --> 01:28:28.359
either one of those, for ten or fifteen years, that's
1571
01:28:28.399 --> 01:28:30.920
going to absolutely shape who you are. So what I
1572
01:28:30.960 --> 01:28:34.119
was doing with this exercise on a daily basis was
1573
01:28:34.279 --> 01:28:39.560
repeating to my mind, yeah, you know, like I do
1574
01:28:39.600 --> 01:28:41.720
want this, I can do this. I am this.
1575
01:28:43.520 --> 01:28:47.000
And that's different than ego, isn't it. It's different than
1576
01:28:47.039 --> 01:28:47.520
just thinking.
1577
01:28:47.760 --> 01:28:50.319
Well, that's where it has to be anchored into reality.
1578
01:28:50.399 --> 01:28:53.439
When I'm listing, when I'm writing down, you know, this
1579
01:28:53.479 --> 01:28:55.800
is the gulf of my dreams. And on the other side,
1580
01:28:55.840 --> 01:28:59.720
I'm writing my convincers. I'm able to write moments where
1581
01:28:59.840 --> 01:29:01.720
I can say, yeah.
1582
01:29:01.560 --> 01:29:03.439
What are things that will give me an example of
1583
01:29:03.479 --> 01:29:04.159
a convincer.
1584
01:29:04.640 --> 01:29:07.880
Convincer for me would have been one of the things
1585
01:29:07.880 --> 01:29:12.159
I write down is making making. Now I write down
1586
01:29:12.359 --> 01:29:16.239
our last day at Graystone in the two day tournament, right,
1587
01:29:17.159 --> 01:29:22.039
five birdies, yeah, and you made I think six? No,
1588
01:29:22.159 --> 01:29:23.720
we made you made five? I made four.
1589
01:29:24.000 --> 01:29:25.920
Yeah, But the problem is we birdied I think a
1590
01:29:25.960 --> 01:29:27.880
couple of the same holes, which was weird.
1591
01:29:28.079 --> 01:29:31.119
So I'll write that down as one of your convincings.
1592
01:29:31.399 --> 01:29:33.399
So I get it. So, yeah, I am this. I
1593
01:29:33.439 --> 01:29:35.600
want to be that. But here's something that gives me
1594
01:29:35.680 --> 01:29:38.359
evidence And why I brought up ego is it? What
1595
01:29:38.399 --> 01:29:40.600
you're talking about is different than ego, just thinking you
1596
01:29:40.640 --> 01:29:44.319
can because your ego says, well you're great with no
1597
01:29:44.439 --> 01:29:48.239
real evidence, no real convincing. Yeah, so it's and belief.
1598
01:29:49.119 --> 01:29:51.159
I love that word that you used. That the It
1599
01:29:51.199 --> 01:29:55.399
seems to me that belief is different than ego. Yeah,
1600
01:29:55.520 --> 01:29:58.199
I think belief is tethered to me. It's tethered to
1601
01:29:58.279 --> 01:30:03.520
some kind of reality base, right, because the subconscious loves that.
1602
01:30:03.560 --> 01:30:08.560
The subconscious wants to see evidence as opposed to you know,
1603
01:30:08.960 --> 01:30:11.479
I woke up this morning and decided that I'm going
1604
01:30:11.520 --> 01:30:12.399
to be an opera singer.
1605
01:30:12.960 --> 01:30:17.520
I mean, I'm a terrible singer, so you know that's
1606
01:30:17.560 --> 01:30:21.119
gonna my subconscious is going to reject that as silly.
1607
01:30:22.399 --> 01:30:25.000
Well, mister Osborne, I knew this would be a good
1608
01:30:25.039 --> 01:30:28.600
time to put this on on tape or do we
1609
01:30:28.640 --> 01:30:32.800
even some digital record of the kind of conversations that
1610
01:30:32.840 --> 01:30:35.520
we have from time to time, And I hope everyone
1611
01:30:35.560 --> 01:30:39.319
will enjoy it. Kent's book is called A Scratch Attitude,
1612
01:30:39.920 --> 01:30:42.199
and his new books are called whatever the hell he
1613
01:30:42.239 --> 01:30:42.920
wants to call him.
1614
01:30:43.000 --> 01:30:46.840
I think I think it's the first one is going
1615
01:30:46.880 --> 01:30:50.279
to be Notes to my golf self. I like it.
1616
01:30:51.760 --> 01:30:54.880
Well, hopefully this will be a window or an opening
1617
01:30:54.960 --> 01:31:00.000
or a doorway or some kind of vessel to help
1618
01:31:00.119 --> 01:31:03.479
you if you're listening to start to rethink how you
1619
01:31:04.319 --> 01:31:06.279
especially if you're not enjoying this. You know, one of
1620
01:31:06.359 --> 01:31:07.880
the things that you say about, you know, being a
1621
01:31:07.920 --> 01:31:14.439
pay to play, being a pay to play player, Yeah,
1622
01:31:14.560 --> 01:31:16.880
I mean there's no tournament there. All those tournaments we
1623
01:31:17.319 --> 01:31:20.760
talk about, I mean we paid to get into them. Yeah, yeah,
1624
01:31:20.760 --> 01:31:22.920
you know, yeah, we've you know, we did. I think
1625
01:31:23.000 --> 01:31:26.119
both of us did pretty well in the the club
1626
01:31:26.159 --> 01:31:28.720
Link cash, but it certainly didn't pay for all the
1627
01:31:28.760 --> 01:31:32.079
golf we played. And as you've said, and we've said
1628
01:31:32.079 --> 01:31:34.880
here on the show, like if you're not if you're
1629
01:31:34.880 --> 01:31:37.640
not enjoying this, then what are you doing it for?
1630
01:31:37.960 --> 01:31:42.439
Yeah? And if I just just to finish, it's it's
1631
01:31:42.520 --> 01:31:46.960
not about enjoying being with your buddies and enjoying being outdoors.
1632
01:31:47.039 --> 01:31:50.880
It's about enjoying yourself where it really matters, which is
1633
01:31:50.880 --> 01:31:53.920
when it's your turn to play. That's the key to
1634
01:31:53.960 --> 01:31:57.880
the whole thing. And a lot of guys don't make that.
1635
01:31:58.279 --> 01:31:59.119
Are they separate that?
1636
01:31:59.319 --> 01:31:59.479
Well?
1637
01:31:59.600 --> 01:32:01.399
You know, I love being outdoors, I love hanging with
1638
01:32:01.479 --> 01:32:03.920
my pals, so of course I love golf, But do
1639
01:32:04.000 --> 01:32:07.840
you actually love your game? Yeah, that's that's what it's
1640
01:32:07.880 --> 01:32:08.239
all about.
1641
01:32:08.239 --> 01:32:10.520
Five. I think it's brilliant. And I think a lot
1642
01:32:10.520 --> 01:32:13.640
of I say men because I think women have a
1643
01:32:13.680 --> 01:32:16.439
different Not all women, but I think a lot for
1644
01:32:16.920 --> 01:32:20.239
a large portion of women, they have found a way
1645
01:32:20.279 --> 01:32:24.439
to separate self from you know, their their their their
1646
01:32:24.479 --> 01:32:28.479
mastery of this silly game. Raymond Pryor talks about that,
1647
01:32:28.520 --> 01:32:32.800
you know, separating self from uh this your your ability,
1648
01:32:32.920 --> 01:32:35.680
And I think men don't. I think men are miserable
1649
01:32:35.680 --> 01:32:39.479
when they play a lot of men are miserable playing golf. Okay,
1650
01:32:39.720 --> 01:32:42.640
all right, hopefully not us, buddy. Well other than that
1651
01:32:42.720 --> 01:32:43.840
one day.
1652
01:32:44.039 --> 01:32:46.840
Yeah, like I said that running over that squirrel was
1653
01:32:46.880 --> 01:32:51.720
a complete accident. Fucking that's all. That's just so all
1654
01:32:51.760 --> 01:32:52.119
you all know.
1655
01:32:52.199 --> 01:32:55.439
Every time Ken and I talk, somehow Oshawa comes up
1656
01:32:55.880 --> 01:32:59.800
and it's like, uh, the way I've me telling you,
1657
01:33:00.359 --> 01:33:02.319
the way we say Oshawa now is like whar in?
1658
01:33:02.359 --> 01:33:03.520
Seinfeld said, Newman.
1659
01:33:03.920 --> 01:33:08.760
Yeah, thank you Ken, Okay, thanks hard