WEBVTT
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It's time for the adventures of Stumpy and Grumpy.
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Oh, social media. How are you on social media?
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I'm bloody fantastic. In fact, I'm pretty good
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too. Join us as we celebrate their odd friendship
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and their love of all things Australian. Did
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you know that the platypus and the echidna are
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the only two animals that make their own custard?
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This podcast is intended for adults, so wowsers
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can go fuck themselves. You know I've got something
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that a billionaire hasn't got? What's that? A
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Twitter account. Oh. Hey, was that a Trump joke?
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Who's he? He's irrelevant now, isn't he? Have
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you ever been banned from social media? I've
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been cautioned a few times. Have you? A bit of
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a social warrior. I was a keyboard warrior. How
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would you feel, though, if the whole network
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just went, no, we're not taking any more of your
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tweets, for instance? I'd feel like a twit. Well,
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I'm sick and tired of wasting time playing on
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the net. I've got a thousand friends on Facebook,
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most I've never met. And it really gets my Twitter
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when the laptop's up the creek and looking at
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me in the mirror is a social network freak. With
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a smartphone at my side and earphones on me head,
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I'm tapping, telling all the world what Uncle
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Nev just said. Now me pet parrot got away and
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flew off up the street. He let me know where
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he was at by sending me a tweet. Now I'm staring
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at the screen of this iPad once again and I'm
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wondering how the hell on earth my eyes can stand
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the strain. And I know it's a no -brainer, but
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it gets me through the week. So it's morning
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all, one and all, from a social network freak.
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I like hers and she likes his and all that other
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bull. I'm texting to me brother, we're both sitting
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round the pool. I could just as easily open up
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my mouth and speak to him. But I'm not much for
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talking and I'm just a little dim. So I'm staring
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at the screen of this iPad once again and I'm
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wondering how the hell on earth my eyes can stand
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the strain. And I know it's a no -brainer, but
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it gets me through the week. So it's morning
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all, yes, one and all from a social network freak.
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Well, I'll just keep on tapping and you just
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keep on crapping on about the instant coffee
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that you spilt in Grandma's shoes. And I'm still
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staring at the screen of this iPad once again.
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And I don't know how much longer these eyes will
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stare in the strain. Well, I know it's a no -brainer,
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but it gets me through the week. So it's morning
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all, one and all. A lovely day in a chat with
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Paul. Some new message from Tammy Hall. It's
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night, night all, one and all, you social network
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freaks. Oh, how many words is that? Talk about
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11 to 8. Talk about social network freak. That
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was Steve Sparrow. You know that he's orally
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enhanced? For those people out there who are,
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like, cerebrally disadvantaged. Compromised.
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Compromised. That was blind. He's blind. Not
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drunk, just blind. He can't see nothing. He's
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got good hearing, in other words. Yeah, I move
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the furniture around all the time on him. You
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know, Pix, I might have asked you this before,
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but where did you get your first big start in
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the industry? Mate, it was the Storm Dome Tunnel
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in West Tamworth. Oh, no. Sorry, what was the
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question again? Where did you get your big start?
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Oh, me big start. Where did I get my big start?
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Look, apart from going on the road with Barty
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Williams in 79, I mean, you know, I was lucky
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to get into the club scene in Sydney. So I went
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to one of the biggest club shows in Australia's
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history back in the early 80s. That was real
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luck. I struck out there real, you know. A lot
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of people were seeing me every week. And then
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with Digger Revell as well as Lester V. Coombs,
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moved back to Tamworth to hide hands. And then
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the fateful phone call one day. Stuart Watson
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had left Boolamacanka and the number one country
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band in the land was looking for another fiddle
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player. That's why we played that, because you're
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doing a little project on Henry Lawson, which
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is going to be absolutely wonderful. You've been
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working on that for a long time. I've been working
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on it for a little while, and it'll be due for
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release hopefully the end of this year. Yes,
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so stay tuned to the podcast for information
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about that and check the comments below, because
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we'll tell you about all that as the months progress.
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You mentioned Stewie Watson earlier. You know,
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I bumped into him just last year. Out at Monogorilby.
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Oh, Monogorilby. What a place, eh? What a name.
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What a name. I've been around the world a couple
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of times or maybe more. I'm fitter than you,
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mate. I'm fitter. No, you've got breasts. If
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you move too fast, you'll knock yourself out.
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Listen, how good is that? Everybody in Australia,
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if we all did the actions of that song in the
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same time, the whole world's financial system
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would turn towards us. You know, I mentioned
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before about Mon and Gorilby. It's one of those
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funny names, isn't it? It's one of those funny
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names. It's a great name. They're all over the
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place in Australia. It's just amazing. All right,
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all right. What? You reckon they're good? Tell
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me where these ones are. It's going to be a challenge.
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Son of a bitch spur. Are you having a go? Oh,
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no, that's the name. Yes, that's right. No? Okay,
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I've got no idea. It wouldn't be in Queensland,
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though. No, you're right there. Where is it?
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New South Wales. Okay. Mount Hump. Definitely
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not Queensland. That would have to be New South
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Wales or Victoria. New South Wales. Is it? There
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you go. Shag Swamp. That is definitely either
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northern Victoria or New South Wales. New South
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Wales. Another one. Round Woman's Hole. Victoria.
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New South Wales. Right next to Windy Gap. Yeah,
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it wouldn't be Queensland. No, no, that'd have
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to be Victoria or New South Wales. Yeah, New
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South Wales as well. Curly Dick Road. Definitely
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New South Wales. You're right, mate. There you
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go. Bastard point. That's Western Australia.
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No, New South Wales again. Oh, shit. Titty bong.
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Listen, listen. Queensland would not, absolutely
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never have a name in it like that. It's the quintessential
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Victorian name. I think it's absolutely Victorian.
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It could never be in Queensland. Where's that?
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Queensland. Shit. You've all read the beautiful
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story Of the countries far over the sea From
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whence came our ancestors To establish this land
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of the free There are some folks who still like
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to travel To see what they have over there But
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when they go look, it's not like the book And
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they find there is none to compare Beautiful,
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beautiful Queensland Up where the wildflowers
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grow We're proud of our beautiful climate where
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we never see ice or snow. You can live on the
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plains or the mountains or down where the sea
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breezes blow. And you're still in beautiful Queensland,
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the most wonderful state that I know. You can
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travel on beautiful highways. By the city, the
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village and farm Or sail up above on the skyway
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And the beauty below you will charm White cotton,
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green forest, blue river Sugar cane fields and
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fruit trees at bear You can look the world over
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and then you will say That Queensland has beauty
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to spare Oh beautiful, beautiful Queensland Up
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where the wildflowers grow. We're proud of our
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beautiful climate. Where we never see ice or
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snow. You can live on the plains or the mountains.
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Or down where the sea breezes blow. And you're
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still in beautiful Queensland. The most wonderful
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state that I know. Oh, don't you gotta love Chad.
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That's the one and only Chad Morgenstein. Yeah,
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I thought I'd play a straight song of Chad's
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because I just think he's got an iconic voice.
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He certainly does. One that's lasted. Love you,
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Chad. The Adventures of Manny and Pix. You know
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how we were talking about Australian place names
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before? When you were looking it up, did you
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see Manny for South Australia at all? No, not
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Manny at all. It's sort of a lovely state. I
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loved South Australia when I was touring down
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there because it's quite clean and everything.
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But they're strange in South Australia. They're
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very strange. because they've got some strange
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laws that are still on the books. Really? For
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instance, apparently from 1890 or something,
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there's this law that says if you see a horse
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and cart coming the other way, you have to pull
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over and dismantle your car so the horse isn't
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spooked. Right? In South Australia, if there's
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an abandoned house, you can't leave it, you've
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actually got to take the roof off it. So squatters
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can't live in there. I mean, I didn't think there
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was many, you know, many queer things about South
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Australia. Don Dunstan? You went there. You went
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there. You went there. For fuck's sake. Adelaide,
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my sweet Adelaide. It's been a long, long time
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since I've been round your way. Adelaide, my
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sweet Adelaide. And I still love you, my sweet
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Adelaide. I was just a boy of 14 years. The Greyhound
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bus for Adelaide was bound. She said, I think
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your seat is over here. Her eyes were green,
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she smiled, so I sat down. We crept on through
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the night She slept on my shoulder It felt right
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Laughing with the girl Who was so sweet Rolling
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down along King William Street In Adelaide My
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sweet Adelaide It's been a long, long time Since
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I've been round your way Adelaide, my sweet Adelaide
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And I still love you, my sweet Adelaide She was
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like a silver star that shines Heading to the
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west from Melbourne town One day I was hers and
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she was mine Holding hands and wandering around.
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Watched the sunset on the Esplanade. Then the
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soft rain started falling hard. She gave me her
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address, I wrote it down. Well, I just wonder
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what she's doing. It's been a long, long time
00:17:54.730 --> 00:18:00.950
since I've been round your way. Adelaide, my
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sweet Adelaide. And I still love you, my sweet
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Adelaide. Yeah, I still love you, my sweet Adelaide.
00:18:14.490 --> 00:18:20.910
Sweet Adelaide. It's been a long, long time since
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I've been round your way. Yeah, Adelaide, my
00:18:26.049 --> 00:18:31.329
sweet Adelaide And I still love you, my sweet
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Adelaide Yeah, I still love you, my sweet Adelaide
00:18:38.829 --> 00:18:52.549
I still love you, my sweet Adelaide ever been
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written about that town. I'm telling you, there
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isn't many. There should be more. The City of
00:18:56.349 --> 00:18:59.589
Parks, the City of Churches. Gorgeous. Could
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I hear a bit of you fiddling in there? You know
00:19:02.450 --> 00:19:05.769
what? I was thinking halfway through, I'm thinking
00:19:05.769 --> 00:19:08.410
halfway through, that sounds like me on the fiddle
00:19:08.410 --> 00:19:11.150
and I couldn't remember doing the session. I'm
00:19:11.150 --> 00:19:13.950
thinking... Oh, Doug, please ignore my idiot,
00:19:14.089 --> 00:19:16.549
mate. He hasn't got a clue. I haven't got a clue
00:19:16.549 --> 00:19:18.769
and I'm sorry, Doug, but if that was me, that
00:19:18.769 --> 00:19:25.099
was pretty good. Tell us about Tamworth. Pix,
00:19:25.259 --> 00:19:29.420
what was it like for you growing up? You know,
00:19:29.480 --> 00:19:34.980
I'll say this. Growing up gay, for me, was a
00:19:34.980 --> 00:19:38.000
piece of piss. Sure, I got bullied and sure,
00:19:38.039 --> 00:19:40.519
I got picked on, but for some reason, I looked
00:19:40.519 --> 00:19:42.960
at those kids being disadvantaged, not me, even
00:19:42.960 --> 00:19:46.500
though I was seriously disadvantaged. We were
00:19:46.500 --> 00:19:48.680
a very poor family. My mother was a cripple.
00:19:48.700 --> 00:19:51.619
My dad had no jobs. He was itinerant in that
00:19:51.619 --> 00:19:55.619
way. And we never had car, telephone or power.
00:19:56.000 --> 00:19:59.059
We went days and days and days without food sometimes.
00:19:59.220 --> 00:20:02.140
It was a very, very strange childhood. And I
00:20:02.140 --> 00:20:05.339
went out and picked bird's eggs and trapped rabbits.
00:20:05.460 --> 00:20:08.660
I was a child of the bush, so for me... It didn't
00:20:08.660 --> 00:20:11.000
occur to me that it was so terrible. It certainly
00:20:11.000 --> 00:20:13.480
gave you a determination. I mean, look at the
00:20:13.480 --> 00:20:15.460
stuff that you've done and look at who you've
00:20:15.460 --> 00:20:19.480
been with. Some kids pop out, don't we? Some
00:20:19.480 --> 00:20:21.920
kids. But some kids actually, you know, get crushed
00:20:21.920 --> 00:20:25.140
by it. You know, another kid, another kid. Yeah.
00:20:25.420 --> 00:20:26.819
You know who we're talking about, don't you?
00:20:26.859 --> 00:20:31.619
I do indeed. Libby. Sweet Libby. Look, Becky
00:20:31.619 --> 00:20:34.400
Cole, of course, and her love of her life, Libby.
00:20:35.180 --> 00:20:38.279
Libby wrote this gorgeous song, and every time
00:20:38.279 --> 00:20:41.380
I hear it, I just burst into tears. So go outside.
00:20:41.460 --> 00:20:45.180
Piss off outside while I play the song. Coloured
00:20:45.180 --> 00:20:49.359
windows, Sundays And a green two -dollar bill
00:20:49.359 --> 00:20:58.190
Sing the hymns past the playground I thought
00:20:58.190 --> 00:21:03.589
baby Jesus was the one who broke the hill The
00:21:03.589 --> 00:21:07.470
painted blue up there and red down on the ground
00:21:07.470 --> 00:21:15.529
It was 1980 something I was learning to be me
00:21:15.529 --> 00:21:24.170
Little tomboy girls had all the fun Kindness
00:21:24.170 --> 00:21:32.549
didn't cost a thing Sunday lunch meant food for
00:21:32.549 --> 00:21:38.349
everyone. I'm the outback preacher's daughter.
00:21:38.589 --> 00:25:04.609
I'm the little mouse that roared. to break Stompster
00:25:04.609 --> 00:28:15.650
and Grompster! to remind me of good times and
00:28:15.650 --> 00:29:03.190
friends till I'm back. Kimberly Frontier. Kimberly
00:29:03.190 --> 00:29:05.089
Frontier. Oh, gorgeous song. Absolutely gorgeous
00:29:05.089 --> 00:29:07.430
song. Great Tucker up there and all. Great Tucker
00:29:07.430 --> 00:29:09.970
up there? Yeah. Look, if I heard that wrong,
00:29:10.089 --> 00:29:13.230
I was thinking, that's Tucker up there. You're
00:29:13.230 --> 00:29:15.730
disgusting. That's what it sounded like. Oh,
00:29:15.730 --> 00:29:18.829
Tucker up there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. There's
00:29:18.829 --> 00:29:21.210
a lot of strange phrases like that in Australia,
00:29:21.329 --> 00:29:22.869
isn't there? I mean, if somebody was learning
00:29:22.869 --> 00:29:25.930
English from overseas and they came to Australia
00:29:25.930 --> 00:29:28.269
to learn English, they'd have a bit of a problem.
00:29:28.329 --> 00:29:31.509
They'd be stuffed. Absolutely stuffed. There's
00:29:31.509 --> 00:29:34.609
a phrase. Yeah. Yeah, there it is. And they wouldn't
00:29:34.609 --> 00:29:36.470
know, what do you mean by strine? Well, that's
00:29:36.470 --> 00:29:38.369
a stupid voice I was putting on there. But if
00:29:38.369 --> 00:29:41.890
you come to Australia, you'd have to learn strine,
00:29:41.890 --> 00:29:44.069
as they used to say. Yeah, let's talk strine.
00:29:44.109 --> 00:29:45.970
Let's talk strine. And you'd need these words
00:29:45.970 --> 00:29:48.369
for important Australian social occasions, like
00:29:48.369 --> 00:29:51.109
meeting a new family. Oh, new girlfriends. New
00:29:51.109 --> 00:29:54.190
girlfriends. Yeah. Impressing. He's going to
00:29:54.190 --> 00:29:56.369
try and impress his girlfriend. Oh, let's listen.
00:29:56.569 --> 00:29:58.730
Oh, this is Errol Gray. He's such a dick. He
00:29:58.730 --> 00:30:04.400
won't do it. I got a new girlfriend Took her
00:30:04.400 --> 00:30:09.960
to dinner to try and impress I even threw on
00:30:09.960 --> 00:30:14.079
the old school tie She wore her bridesmaid's
00:30:14.079 --> 00:30:19.880
dress We went to this trendy restaurant Yugo's
00:30:19.880 --> 00:30:25.559
Modern Australian Cuisine I started reading the
00:30:25.559 --> 00:30:30.700
menu It didn't look Australian to me What the
00:30:30.700 --> 00:30:35.839
hell's this? Pate foie de gloire. Cream brulee
00:30:35.839 --> 00:30:42.440
and consommé. Venison loin on blue vein spatzle.
00:30:42.519 --> 00:30:47.660
What? Served with bomb puree. Baked fig with
00:30:47.660 --> 00:30:54.660
goat curd salad. Confits and fricassees. Bucket
00:30:54.660 --> 00:30:58.920
if I know what it all means. They may as well
00:30:58.920 --> 00:31:06.140
be feeding me. Ducks guts on toast, mashed potatoes
00:31:06.140 --> 00:31:10.339
and a pitney little steak. Sprinkle with some
00:31:10.339 --> 00:31:14.740
fancy tomato sauce in the middle of a great big
00:31:14.740 --> 00:31:23.220
plate. I looked at the wine list, all cabs, abs
00:31:23.220 --> 00:31:28.250
and chardonnays. hey darl what the hell's a murlot
00:31:28.250 --> 00:31:34.309
i'm buggered i can't afford it anyway so i ordered
00:31:34.309 --> 00:31:39.210
a bottle of the goat now the cheapest on the
00:31:39.210 --> 00:31:46.390
list i kept topping her glass up hoping she might
00:31:46.390 --> 00:31:50.750
get drunk i wasn't gonna say pissed was i we're
00:31:50.750 --> 00:31:55.769
on to the second bottle The love dust was starting
00:31:55.769 --> 00:32:01.329
to fall. And when she put her hand on me leg,
00:32:01.349 --> 00:32:05.910
I thought, well, I was in for sure. Then this
00:32:05.910 --> 00:32:10.950
punty little waiter interrupted our romantic
00:32:10.950 --> 00:32:16.589
bliss. He plonked two plates on the table. I
00:32:16.589 --> 00:32:20.049
said, hey, mate, what do you call this? It looks
00:32:20.049 --> 00:32:25.109
like duck's guts on toast. Mashed potato and
00:32:25.109 --> 00:32:29.509
a piddly little steak. Sprinkled with some fancy
00:32:29.509 --> 00:32:33.750
tomato sauce in the middle of a great big plate.
00:32:37.009 --> 00:32:39.410
It took me about two minutes to eat me dinner.
00:32:40.750 --> 00:32:45.130
And I suppose it didn't taste that bad. But I
00:32:45.130 --> 00:32:48.509
was still feeling bloody hungry. So I asked the
00:32:48.509 --> 00:32:53.029
waiter what dessert they had. But I suddenly
00:32:53.029 --> 00:32:57.490
lost my appetite. I couldn't believe what I just
00:32:57.490 --> 00:33:02.970
heard. The only dessert they had that night was
00:33:02.970 --> 00:33:06.930
caramel cigars and lemon curd. I'd rather have
00:33:06.930 --> 00:33:12.329
ducks guts on toast, mashed potato and a piddly
00:33:12.329 --> 00:33:16.529
little steak. Sprinkle with some fancy tomato
00:33:16.529 --> 00:33:22.440
sauce in the middle of a great big plate. Come
00:33:22.440 --> 00:33:24.539
on, darling, we're not eating caramel cigars.
00:33:25.539 --> 00:33:27.819
You can eat them any time you go for a surf at
00:33:27.819 --> 00:33:30.359
Bondi. Oh, that's just awful. Come on, let's
00:33:30.359 --> 00:33:32.740
go back to my place, honey. Swim undeterred.
00:33:32.839 --> 00:33:37.740
He says fuck. He might have said Mr. Weppy earlier
00:33:37.740 --> 00:33:41.119
on. Thanks, Errol. I'm fucking hungry now. Duck's
00:33:41.119 --> 00:33:45.099
guts on toast. Errol Gray special. Have you heard
00:33:45.099 --> 00:33:47.240
him do the John Williamson take -off song? Yeah,
00:33:47.240 --> 00:33:51.000
that's it. Like to sing a song about Australia.
00:33:51.000 --> 00:33:54.680
About Australia. Where he got his inspiration
00:33:54.680 --> 00:33:56.500
from, not many people know this, but Errol Gray,
00:33:56.619 --> 00:34:01.019
fantastic wordsmith that he is, sold... He was
00:34:01.019 --> 00:34:03.960
the John Williamson shop bitch for about four
00:34:03.960 --> 00:34:06.240
or five years. Yeah, he used to sell John Williamson.
00:34:06.240 --> 00:34:09.000
He was quite at the front of the show. Wow. Yeah,
00:34:09.059 --> 00:34:11.340
there you go. Bit of country music history that
00:34:11.340 --> 00:34:13.920
he didn't want people to know. Now, look, I've
00:34:13.920 --> 00:34:16.199
got some favoured Aboriginal artists, of course,
00:34:16.239 --> 00:34:19.699
in my time. Seriously, Aboriginal artists, of
00:34:19.699 --> 00:34:22.239
course, but also the Tiwis across the top. There's
00:34:22.239 --> 00:34:24.469
some great talent in Australia. as we all know.
00:34:24.909 --> 00:34:27.710
They're very comedic. They are funny. Oh, and
00:34:27.710 --> 00:34:30.190
funny. Their humour is amazing. Just beautiful
00:34:30.190 --> 00:34:33.110
stuff. And I tell you what, when you go to Thursday
00:34:33.110 --> 00:34:36.630
Island, make sure you get a taxi trip up to the
00:34:36.630 --> 00:34:40.929
pub by this guy, the TI Taxi Driver. This guy's
00:34:40.929 --> 00:34:44.090
84 -year -old. Have a listen to this. TI Taxi
00:34:44.090 --> 00:34:47.630
Driver going round and round A giant traffic
00:34:47.630 --> 00:35:39.440
circle in a tiny town We'll be right back. morning
00:35:39.440 --> 00:38:00.139
in the taxi by Fantastic. T .I. Taxi Driver there
00:38:00.139 --> 00:38:03.659
from one of my favourite Tiwi artists there,
00:38:03.699 --> 00:38:05.940
Seaman Dan. You're going to be childish, aren't
00:38:05.940 --> 00:38:07.820
you? You're going to be really stupid. No, Seaman.
00:38:07.920 --> 00:38:10.980
You still listening to this crap? Oh, man, it's
00:38:10.980 --> 00:38:13.579
almost time for us to go. Another podcast, eh?
00:38:13.920 --> 00:38:16.840
Number two. It's number two. Wow, and it's only
00:38:16.840 --> 00:38:19.280
taken us 16 months. I know, it's fantastic, isn't
00:38:19.280 --> 00:38:21.320
it? Listen, we've got one more thing, and it's
00:38:21.320 --> 00:38:24.099
going to be, I reckon, I want to play... The
00:38:24.099 --> 00:38:29.539
track that made Murray Harton who he is today,
00:38:29.699 --> 00:38:33.420
strangely enough, is still Murray Harton. It's
00:38:33.420 --> 00:38:36.059
Turbulence. And this has got a bit of a story
00:38:36.059 --> 00:38:38.880
behind it. Well, yeah. The thing is that this
00:38:38.880 --> 00:38:42.119
is the poem that really kicked off or put a good...
00:38:42.400 --> 00:38:46.619
boot into the Australian bush poetry scene, if
00:38:46.619 --> 00:38:47.940
you want to put it that way. It was flogged by
00:38:47.940 --> 00:38:50.840
lousy, wasn't it? It certainly was, but it did
00:38:50.840 --> 00:38:53.780
a good bloody job and it's a great piece. Turbulence,
00:38:53.780 --> 00:38:56.599
it's called, and it's about a very iconic Australian.
00:38:57.000 --> 00:39:00.349
Billy Hayes. Who passed away not too long ago.
00:39:00.690 --> 00:39:03.989
And he was a bit of a legend as well. He certainly
00:39:03.989 --> 00:39:05.829
was. Big funeral out there at Alice Springs for
00:39:05.829 --> 00:39:07.989
him. Here's a tale of Billy Hayes from out near
00:39:07.989 --> 00:39:11.010
Alice Springs. A wild young ringer in his day
00:39:11.010 --> 00:39:13.670
who'd done some crazy things. He'd jumped bulls
00:39:13.670 --> 00:39:17.150
over fences, raced a colt up Ayres Rock, so his
00:39:17.150 --> 00:39:19.369
legs weren't built for walking, they were made
00:39:19.369 --> 00:39:22.530
for riding stock. A legend round the rodeos from
00:39:22.530 --> 00:39:25.750
Ayler on to Broome, an untried horse at 6am was
00:39:25.750 --> 00:39:29.059
saddle -broke by noon. No form of equine foolery
00:39:29.059 --> 00:39:31.760
Bill wasn't going to try. Only one thing ever
00:39:31.760 --> 00:39:36.500
spooked him. He was way too scared to fly. If
00:39:36.500 --> 00:39:38.360
I was meant to do it, I'd have feathers and a
00:39:38.360 --> 00:39:41.880
beak. You take the plane there in a day, I'll
00:39:41.880 --> 00:39:44.679
drive and waste a week. I've been told they're
00:39:44.679 --> 00:39:46.780
safe as houses and mechanically they're sound.
00:39:47.739 --> 00:39:49.900
I don't see no rope or bridle, so I'm sticking
00:39:49.900 --> 00:39:52.539
on the ground. But one day Billy got a phone
00:39:52.539 --> 00:39:54.739
call from his mate in Adelaide. He'd got his
00:39:54.739 --> 00:39:56.699
girl in trouble, so the wedding cards were played.
00:39:57.460 --> 00:39:59.840
Oh, Bill, I don't care how you do it. You can
00:39:59.840 --> 00:40:02.360
beg or steal or borrow. But, mate, you've got
00:40:02.360 --> 00:40:04.420
to take the plane because the big day's on tomorrow.
00:40:05.260 --> 00:40:07.719
Well, Billy cursed and spat it, said, that dopey
00:40:07.719 --> 00:40:10.539
bloody coot. He knows I'd jump on anything that's
00:40:10.539 --> 00:40:13.500
coming out of shoot. I've caught stallions that'll
00:40:13.500 --> 00:40:14.719
kill you. I've caught bulls that'll get off their
00:40:14.719 --> 00:40:17.360
brain. Never thought they'd come today. I'd have
00:40:17.360 --> 00:40:20.039
to catch a plane. He led you to the airport.
00:40:20.099 --> 00:40:22.500
He thought, well, this is it. The lady at the
00:40:22.500 --> 00:40:27.079
counter asked, where would you like to sit? He
00:40:27.079 --> 00:40:30.380
said, you know that black box thing they always
00:40:30.380 --> 00:40:37.019
seem to find? You can stick me right inside it
00:40:37.019 --> 00:40:41.019
if you wouldn't bloody mind. The lady smiled
00:40:41.019 --> 00:40:42.739
politely and said, sir, I'll just take your bag.
00:40:43.039 --> 00:40:45.539
He said, I don't bloody think so. And by the
00:40:45.539 --> 00:40:48.360
way, it's called a swag. Well, Bill was sweating
00:40:48.360 --> 00:40:50.219
buckets when they finally cleared the strip.
00:40:50.519 --> 00:40:52.800
He had his seatbelt on that tight he was bleeding
00:40:52.800 --> 00:40:56.130
from the hip. But when they leveled out, he stopped
00:40:56.130 --> 00:40:57.929
shaking at the knees. He looked around relaxed
00:40:57.929 --> 00:41:00.730
and thought, this flying game's a breeze. He
00:41:00.730 --> 00:41:03.230
clipped his belt undone, stretched out in his
00:41:03.230 --> 00:41:06.170
seat. Well, he couldn't stretch that far because
00:41:06.170 --> 00:41:09.469
his swag was at his feet. Then the captain crackled
00:41:09.469 --> 00:41:11.309
something. Bill asked the hostess what was said.
00:41:12.550 --> 00:41:14.550
Sir, you'd better buckle up. There's some turbulence
00:41:14.550 --> 00:41:19.869
ahead. Turbulence? What's that? Sir, it's pockets
00:41:19.869 --> 00:41:22.610
caused by heat. And when it gets severe, it can
00:41:22.610 --> 00:41:27.380
throw you from your seat. Throw me, I'll be buggered.
00:41:30.000 --> 00:41:33.059
He pushed his seat right back, wrapped his legs
00:41:33.059 --> 00:41:35.039
around his swag and stuck his left hand through
00:41:35.039 --> 00:41:39.260
the strap. He jammed down his Acubra. He was
00:41:39.260 --> 00:41:42.500
ready now to ride. Then things got pretty bumpy
00:41:42.500 --> 00:41:46.719
and Billy yelled, Outside! While the plane she
00:41:46.719 --> 00:41:48.940
dropped a thousand feet rose up five hundred
00:41:48.940 --> 00:41:51.159
more. When his head near hit the ceiling he gave
00:41:51.159 --> 00:41:53.980
a mighty roar. I've rolled all through the territory
00:41:53.980 --> 00:41:56.829
and never come unstuck. So give me all you got,
00:41:56.909 --> 00:42:02.710
big bird, and buck you bastard buck. And while
00:42:02.710 --> 00:42:04.949
the passengers were screaming in fear of certain
00:42:04.949 --> 00:42:07.050
death, Billy whooped and hollered till he near
00:42:07.050 --> 00:42:09.030
ran out of breath. You would have thought that
00:42:09.030 --> 00:42:13.409
canvas swag was welded to his ass. And before
00:42:13.409 --> 00:42:15.389
the ringer knew it, he'd backed up the business
00:42:15.389 --> 00:42:22.869
class. There seemed no way to tame this creature
00:42:22.869 --> 00:42:25.190
that had ten gears in reverse. Didn't worry Billy,
00:42:25.230 --> 00:42:27.849
he just bucked on through to first. He'd done
00:42:27.849 --> 00:42:30.150
somersaults with twists on this mongrel mount
00:42:30.150 --> 00:42:33.150
from hell. He yelled out to the pilot, for Christ's
00:42:33.150 --> 00:42:41.329
sake, ring the bell. Oh, Bill was bleeding from
00:42:41.329 --> 00:42:45.449
the bugle. He had cuts above both eyes. If you
00:42:45.449 --> 00:42:46.690
weren't there on the spot, you'd probably think
00:42:46.690 --> 00:42:49.469
I'm telling lies. He'd been upside down, inside
00:42:49.469 --> 00:42:52.309
out, done flips and triple spins. You might have
00:42:52.309 --> 00:42:54.719
seen some great rides in your time. But hands
00:42:54.719 --> 00:42:57.559
down, Billy wins. With the flight returned to
00:42:57.559 --> 00:43:01.260
normal, Bill was flat out on the deck. Still
00:43:01.260 --> 00:43:03.320
stuck to his swag, but he looked a bloody wreck.
00:43:03.780 --> 00:43:05.679
He pulled himself together, stood up and raised
00:43:05.679 --> 00:43:08.840
his hat. Said, I've had some tough trips in me
00:43:08.840 --> 00:43:12.179
time, but never one like that. An eight -second
00:43:12.179 --> 00:43:14.260
spin analysis proves you're made of sturdy stuff.
00:43:15.079 --> 00:43:17.079
I was on there near a minute, and I reckon that's
00:43:17.079 --> 00:43:20.440
enough. Well, the first -class folk were dumbstruck
00:43:20.440 --> 00:43:23.469
at this crazy ringer's feet. But Bill just grabbed
00:43:23.469 --> 00:43:26.070
a crownie and he walked back to his seat. Now
00:43:26.070 --> 00:43:27.989
years have passed, Bill's long give the bucking
00:43:27.989 --> 00:43:31.050
game away. Too many breaks and dusty miles for
00:43:31.050 --> 00:43:33.929
far too little pay. Now planes are not a problem.
00:43:34.130 --> 00:43:36.909
In fact, you'd rather fly than ride. And when
00:43:36.909 --> 00:43:39.289
you talk about his maiden voyage, his chest puffs
00:43:39.289 --> 00:43:43.329
out with pride. You can talk about your rocky
00:43:43.329 --> 00:43:47.050
neds and that old chainsaw bloke. I'd ride them
00:43:47.050 --> 00:43:48.949
both without a rope and roll a bloody smoke.
00:43:50.380 --> 00:43:52.519
There's cowboys around who think they're hot.
00:43:53.280 --> 00:43:56.219
Well, they ain't tasted heat. They've ridden
00:43:56.219 --> 00:43:59.599
time on turbulence at 30 ,000 feet. Turbulence.
00:43:59.739 --> 00:44:01.659
Thanks, mate. I think he's drunk. Thank you.
00:44:01.800 --> 00:44:09.019
He's pretty good. He's drunk. He's pretty good.
00:44:09.099 --> 00:44:12.800
Give us another. Talk about drunk. At only two
00:44:12.800 --> 00:44:15.119
bucks an episode, what have you got to lose?
00:44:15.300 --> 00:44:27.030
Two bucks, I guess. like it who cares if you
00:44:27.030 --> 00:44:30.289
do we'll be back next week with another episode
00:44:30.289 --> 00:44:32.090
of stumpy and grumpy
00:00:01.169 --> 00:00:04.429
It's time for the adventures of Stumpy and Grumpy.
00:00:06.410 --> 00:00:08.949
Oh, social media. How are you on social media?
00:00:09.169 --> 00:00:11.369
I'm bloody fantastic. In fact, I'm pretty good
00:00:11.369 --> 00:00:15.130
too. Join us as we celebrate their odd friendship
00:00:15.130 --> 00:00:18.949
and their love of all things Australian. Did
00:00:18.949 --> 00:00:21.030
you know that the platypus and the echidna are
00:00:21.030 --> 00:00:23.649
the only two animals that make their own custard?
00:00:24.309 --> 00:00:26.589
This podcast is intended for adults, so wowsers
00:00:26.589 --> 00:00:30.000
can go fuck themselves. You know I've got something
00:00:30.000 --> 00:00:32.179
that a billionaire hasn't got? What's that? A
00:00:32.179 --> 00:00:36.020
Twitter account. Oh. Hey, was that a Trump joke?
00:00:36.799 --> 00:00:40.179
Who's he? He's irrelevant now, isn't he? Have
00:00:40.179 --> 00:00:43.060
you ever been banned from social media? I've
00:00:43.060 --> 00:00:46.299
been cautioned a few times. Have you? A bit of
00:00:46.299 --> 00:00:49.380
a social warrior. I was a keyboard warrior. How
00:00:49.380 --> 00:00:52.000
would you feel, though, if the whole network
00:00:52.000 --> 00:00:54.520
just went, no, we're not taking any more of your
00:00:54.520 --> 00:01:01.100
tweets, for instance? I'd feel like a twit. Well,
00:01:01.100 --> 00:01:03.859
I'm sick and tired of wasting time playing on
00:01:03.859 --> 00:01:06.719
the net. I've got a thousand friends on Facebook,
00:01:06.920 --> 00:01:10.519
most I've never met. And it really gets my Twitter
00:01:10.519 --> 00:01:13.219
when the laptop's up the creek and looking at
00:01:13.219 --> 00:01:19.989
me in the mirror is a social network freak. With
00:01:19.989 --> 00:01:23.370
a smartphone at my side and earphones on me head,
00:01:23.510 --> 00:01:26.450
I'm tapping, telling all the world what Uncle
00:01:26.450 --> 00:01:30.069
Nev just said. Now me pet parrot got away and
00:01:30.069 --> 00:01:32.989
flew off up the street. He let me know where
00:01:32.989 --> 00:01:37.489
he was at by sending me a tweet. Now I'm staring
00:01:37.489 --> 00:01:41.209
at the screen of this iPad once again and I'm
00:01:41.209 --> 00:01:44.069
wondering how the hell on earth my eyes can stand
00:01:44.069 --> 00:01:48.780
the strain. And I know it's a no -brainer, but
00:01:48.780 --> 00:01:51.480
it gets me through the week. So it's morning
00:01:51.480 --> 00:01:54.260
all, one and all, from a social network freak.
00:01:57.599 --> 00:02:00.799
I like hers and she likes his and all that other
00:02:00.799 --> 00:02:04.379
bull. I'm texting to me brother, we're both sitting
00:02:04.379 --> 00:02:07.819
round the pool. I could just as easily open up
00:02:07.819 --> 00:02:11.000
my mouth and speak to him. But I'm not much for
00:02:11.000 --> 00:02:15.449
talking and I'm just a little dim. So I'm staring
00:02:15.449 --> 00:02:19.150
at the screen of this iPad once again and I'm
00:02:19.150 --> 00:02:21.990
wondering how the hell on earth my eyes can stand
00:02:21.990 --> 00:02:26.710
the strain. And I know it's a no -brainer, but
00:02:26.710 --> 00:02:29.250
it gets me through the week. So it's morning
00:02:29.250 --> 00:02:32.090
all, yes, one and all from a social network freak.
00:02:33.270 --> 00:02:36.469
Well, I'll just keep on tapping and you just
00:02:36.469 --> 00:02:39.669
keep on crapping on about the instant coffee
00:02:39.669 --> 00:02:45.180
that you spilt in Grandma's shoes. And I'm still
00:02:45.180 --> 00:02:48.560
staring at the screen of this iPad once again.
00:02:48.819 --> 00:02:51.979
And I don't know how much longer these eyes will
00:02:51.979 --> 00:02:56.219
stare in the strain. Well, I know it's a no -brainer,
00:02:56.219 --> 00:02:59.219
but it gets me through the week. So it's morning
00:02:59.219 --> 00:03:02.159
all, one and all. A lovely day in a chat with
00:03:02.159 --> 00:03:04.620
Paul. Some new message from Tammy Hall. It's
00:03:04.620 --> 00:03:07.159
night, night all, one and all, you social network
00:03:07.159 --> 00:03:10.860
freaks. Oh, how many words is that? Talk about
00:03:10.860 --> 00:03:13.620
11 to 8. Talk about social network freak. That
00:03:13.620 --> 00:03:17.020
was Steve Sparrow. You know that he's orally
00:03:17.020 --> 00:03:20.219
enhanced? For those people out there who are,
00:03:20.219 --> 00:03:23.879
like, cerebrally disadvantaged. Compromised.
00:03:23.939 --> 00:03:26.810
Compromised. That was blind. He's blind. Not
00:03:26.810 --> 00:03:28.490
drunk, just blind. He can't see nothing. He's
00:03:28.490 --> 00:03:29.770
got good hearing, in other words. Yeah, I move
00:03:29.770 --> 00:03:35.009
the furniture around all the time on him. You
00:03:35.009 --> 00:03:36.789
know, Pix, I might have asked you this before,
00:03:36.849 --> 00:03:39.469
but where did you get your first big start in
00:03:39.469 --> 00:03:42.610
the industry? Mate, it was the Storm Dome Tunnel
00:03:42.610 --> 00:03:44.509
in West Tamworth. Oh, no. Sorry, what was the
00:03:44.509 --> 00:03:47.629
question again? Where did you get your big start?
00:03:48.150 --> 00:03:51.189
Oh, me big start. Where did I get my big start?
00:03:51.949 --> 00:03:56.050
Look, apart from going on the road with Barty
00:03:56.050 --> 00:03:58.870
Williams in 79, I mean, you know, I was lucky
00:03:58.870 --> 00:04:00.789
to get into the club scene in Sydney. So I went
00:04:00.789 --> 00:04:03.150
to one of the biggest club shows in Australia's
00:04:03.150 --> 00:04:05.270
history back in the early 80s. That was real
00:04:05.270 --> 00:04:08.909
luck. I struck out there real, you know. A lot
00:04:08.909 --> 00:04:10.889
of people were seeing me every week. And then
00:04:10.889 --> 00:04:15.129
with Digger Revell as well as Lester V. Coombs,
00:04:15.189 --> 00:04:17.230
moved back to Tamworth to hide hands. And then
00:04:17.230 --> 00:04:20.379
the fateful phone call one day. Stuart Watson
00:04:20.379 --> 00:04:23.240
had left Boolamacanka and the number one country
00:04:23.240 --> 00:04:25.879
band in the land was looking for another fiddle
00:04:25.879 --> 00:07:24.089
player. That's why we played that, because you're
00:07:24.089 --> 00:07:28.149
doing a little project on Henry Lawson, which
00:07:28.149 --> 00:07:29.709
is going to be absolutely wonderful. You've been
00:07:29.709 --> 00:07:31.649
working on that for a long time. I've been working
00:07:31.649 --> 00:07:34.389
on it for a little while, and it'll be due for
00:07:34.389 --> 00:07:36.410
release hopefully the end of this year. Yes,
00:07:36.410 --> 00:07:38.490
so stay tuned to the podcast for information
00:07:38.490 --> 00:07:40.730
about that and check the comments below, because
00:07:40.730 --> 00:07:43.629
we'll tell you about all that as the months progress.
00:07:44.149 --> 00:07:47.649
You mentioned Stewie Watson earlier. You know,
00:07:47.730 --> 00:07:51.829
I bumped into him just last year. Out at Monogorilby.
00:07:51.949 --> 00:07:56.009
Oh, Monogorilby. What a place, eh? What a name.
00:07:56.110 --> 00:07:59.209
What a name. I've been around the world a couple
00:07:59.209 --> 00:10:41.110
of times or maybe more. I'm fitter than you,
00:10:41.169 --> 00:10:42.850
mate. I'm fitter. No, you've got breasts. If
00:10:42.850 --> 00:10:45.129
you move too fast, you'll knock yourself out.
00:10:45.269 --> 00:10:48.870
Listen, how good is that? Everybody in Australia,
00:10:48.889 --> 00:10:50.929
if we all did the actions of that song in the
00:10:50.929 --> 00:10:55.250
same time, the whole world's financial system
00:10:55.250 --> 00:11:01.809
would turn towards us. You know, I mentioned
00:11:01.809 --> 00:11:03.389
before about Mon and Gorilby. It's one of those
00:11:03.389 --> 00:11:05.750
funny names, isn't it? It's one of those funny
00:11:05.750 --> 00:11:07.590
names. It's a great name. They're all over the
00:11:07.590 --> 00:11:09.830
place in Australia. It's just amazing. All right,
00:11:10.169 --> 00:11:12.029
all right. What? You reckon they're good? Tell
00:11:12.029 --> 00:11:13.690
me where these ones are. It's going to be a challenge.
00:11:14.029 --> 00:11:16.529
Son of a bitch spur. Are you having a go? Oh,
00:11:16.529 --> 00:11:19.350
no, that's the name. Yes, that's right. No? Okay,
00:11:19.690 --> 00:11:21.090
I've got no idea. It wouldn't be in Queensland,
00:11:21.269 --> 00:11:23.549
though. No, you're right there. Where is it?
00:11:24.049 --> 00:11:28.929
New South Wales. Okay. Mount Hump. Definitely
00:11:28.929 --> 00:11:30.730
not Queensland. That would have to be New South
00:11:30.730 --> 00:11:32.789
Wales or Victoria. New South Wales. Is it? There
00:11:32.789 --> 00:11:36.250
you go. Shag Swamp. That is definitely either
00:11:36.250 --> 00:11:38.830
northern Victoria or New South Wales. New South
00:11:38.830 --> 00:11:43.309
Wales. Another one. Round Woman's Hole. Victoria.
00:11:44.129 --> 00:11:48.730
New South Wales. Right next to Windy Gap. Yeah,
00:11:48.769 --> 00:11:50.769
it wouldn't be Queensland. No, no, that'd have
00:11:50.769 --> 00:11:53.129
to be Victoria or New South Wales. Yeah, New
00:11:53.129 --> 00:11:57.090
South Wales as well. Curly Dick Road. Definitely
00:11:57.090 --> 00:11:59.529
New South Wales. You're right, mate. There you
00:11:59.529 --> 00:12:03.990
go. Bastard point. That's Western Australia.
00:12:04.289 --> 00:12:08.690
No, New South Wales again. Oh, shit. Titty bong.
00:12:09.389 --> 00:12:13.289
Listen, listen. Queensland would not, absolutely
00:12:13.289 --> 00:12:16.570
never have a name in it like that. It's the quintessential
00:12:16.570 --> 00:12:19.809
Victorian name. I think it's absolutely Victorian.
00:12:19.830 --> 00:12:21.450
It could never be in Queensland. Where's that?
00:12:21.549 --> 00:12:24.929
Queensland. Shit. You've all read the beautiful
00:12:24.929 --> 00:12:31.149
story Of the countries far over the sea From
00:12:31.149 --> 00:12:36.460
whence came our ancestors To establish this land
00:12:36.460 --> 00:12:40.740
of the free There are some folks who still like
00:12:40.740 --> 00:12:46.700
to travel To see what they have over there But
00:12:46.700 --> 00:12:50.139
when they go look, it's not like the book And
00:12:50.139 --> 00:12:54.980
they find there is none to compare Beautiful,
00:12:55.059 --> 00:13:00.159
beautiful Queensland Up where the wildflowers
00:13:00.159 --> 00:13:05.740
grow We're proud of our beautiful climate where
00:13:05.740 --> 00:13:10.500
we never see ice or snow. You can live on the
00:13:10.500 --> 00:13:14.600
plains or the mountains or down where the sea
00:13:14.600 --> 00:13:19.679
breezes blow. And you're still in beautiful Queensland,
00:13:19.899 --> 00:13:24.820
the most wonderful state that I know. You can
00:13:24.820 --> 00:13:29.370
travel on beautiful highways. By the city, the
00:13:29.370 --> 00:13:34.629
village and farm Or sail up above on the skyway
00:13:34.629 --> 00:13:40.070
And the beauty below you will charm White cotton,
00:13:40.250 --> 00:13:44.309
green forest, blue river Sugar cane fields and
00:13:44.309 --> 00:13:48.529
fruit trees at bear You can look the world over
00:13:48.529 --> 00:13:52.029
and then you will say That Queensland has beauty
00:13:52.029 --> 00:13:58.429
to spare Oh beautiful, beautiful Queensland Up
00:13:58.429 --> 00:14:02.730
where the wildflowers grow. We're proud of our
00:14:02.730 --> 00:14:07.389
beautiful climate. Where we never see ice or
00:14:07.389 --> 00:14:11.570
snow. You can live on the plains or the mountains.
00:14:12.070 --> 00:14:16.970
Or down where the sea breezes blow. And you're
00:14:16.970 --> 00:14:20.870
still in beautiful Queensland. The most wonderful
00:14:20.870 --> 00:14:26.269
state that I know. Oh, don't you gotta love Chad.
00:14:26.759 --> 00:14:28.960
That's the one and only Chad Morgenstein. Yeah,
00:14:28.960 --> 00:14:31.980
I thought I'd play a straight song of Chad's
00:14:31.980 --> 00:14:33.940
because I just think he's got an iconic voice.
00:14:34.480 --> 00:14:36.860
He certainly does. One that's lasted. Love you,
00:14:36.879 --> 00:14:40.259
Chad. The Adventures of Manny and Pix. You know
00:14:40.259 --> 00:14:42.100
how we were talking about Australian place names
00:14:42.100 --> 00:14:44.279
before? When you were looking it up, did you
00:14:44.279 --> 00:14:46.220
see Manny for South Australia at all? No, not
00:14:46.220 --> 00:14:48.139
Manny at all. It's sort of a lovely state. I
00:14:48.139 --> 00:14:50.159
loved South Australia when I was touring down
00:14:50.159 --> 00:14:51.679
there because it's quite clean and everything.
00:14:52.159 --> 00:14:54.860
But they're strange in South Australia. They're
00:14:54.860 --> 00:14:57.820
very strange. because they've got some strange
00:14:57.820 --> 00:15:01.220
laws that are still on the books. Really? For
00:15:01.220 --> 00:15:03.460
instance, apparently from 1890 or something,
00:15:03.539 --> 00:15:06.000
there's this law that says if you see a horse
00:15:06.000 --> 00:15:07.720
and cart coming the other way, you have to pull
00:15:07.720 --> 00:15:10.580
over and dismantle your car so the horse isn't
00:15:10.580 --> 00:15:14.700
spooked. Right? In South Australia, if there's
00:15:14.700 --> 00:15:18.360
an abandoned house, you can't leave it, you've
00:15:18.360 --> 00:15:21.159
actually got to take the roof off it. So squatters
00:15:21.159 --> 00:15:24.200
can't live in there. I mean, I didn't think there
00:15:24.200 --> 00:15:27.340
was many, you know, many queer things about South
00:15:27.340 --> 00:15:31.120
Australia. Don Dunstan? You went there. You went
00:15:31.120 --> 00:15:34.460
there. You went there. For fuck's sake. Adelaide,
00:15:34.480 --> 00:15:40.659
my sweet Adelaide. It's been a long, long time
00:15:40.659 --> 00:15:46.820
since I've been round your way. Adelaide, my
00:15:46.820 --> 00:15:52.049
sweet Adelaide. And I still love you, my sweet
00:15:52.049 --> 00:16:01.909
Adelaide. I was just a boy of 14 years. The Greyhound
00:16:01.909 --> 00:16:07.830
bus for Adelaide was bound. She said, I think
00:16:07.830 --> 00:16:13.370
your seat is over here. Her eyes were green,
00:16:13.509 --> 00:16:20.360
she smiled, so I sat down. We crept on through
00:16:20.360 --> 00:16:26.980
the night She slept on my shoulder It felt right
00:16:26.980 --> 00:16:35.200
Laughing with the girl Who was so sweet Rolling
00:16:35.200 --> 00:16:42.659
down along King William Street In Adelaide My
00:16:42.659 --> 00:16:48.740
sweet Adelaide It's been a long, long time Since
00:16:48.740 --> 00:16:55.559
I've been round your way Adelaide, my sweet Adelaide
00:16:55.559 --> 00:17:03.299
And I still love you, my sweet Adelaide She was
00:17:03.299 --> 00:17:09.720
like a silver star that shines Heading to the
00:17:09.720 --> 00:17:15.880
west from Melbourne town One day I was hers and
00:17:15.880 --> 00:17:22.789
she was mine Holding hands and wandering around.
00:17:24.710 --> 00:17:31.250
Watched the sunset on the Esplanade. Then the
00:17:31.250 --> 00:17:37.230
soft rain started falling hard. She gave me her
00:17:37.230 --> 00:17:42.930
address, I wrote it down. Well, I just wonder
00:17:42.930 --> 00:17:54.730
what she's doing. It's been a long, long time
00:17:54.730 --> 00:18:00.950
since I've been round your way. Adelaide, my
00:18:00.950 --> 00:18:06.190
sweet Adelaide. And I still love you, my sweet
00:18:06.190 --> 00:18:13.609
Adelaide. Yeah, I still love you, my sweet Adelaide.
00:18:14.490 --> 00:18:20.910
Sweet Adelaide. It's been a long, long time since
00:18:20.910 --> 00:18:26.049
I've been round your way. Yeah, Adelaide, my
00:18:26.049 --> 00:18:31.329
sweet Adelaide And I still love you, my sweet
00:18:31.329 --> 00:18:38.829
Adelaide Yeah, I still love you, my sweet Adelaide
00:18:38.829 --> 00:18:52.549
I still love you, my sweet Adelaide ever been
00:18:52.549 --> 00:18:54.230
written about that town. I'm telling you, there
00:18:54.230 --> 00:18:56.349
isn't many. There should be more. The City of
00:18:56.349 --> 00:18:59.589
Parks, the City of Churches. Gorgeous. Could
00:18:59.589 --> 00:19:02.450
I hear a bit of you fiddling in there? You know
00:19:02.450 --> 00:19:05.769
what? I was thinking halfway through, I'm thinking
00:19:05.769 --> 00:19:08.410
halfway through, that sounds like me on the fiddle
00:19:08.410 --> 00:19:11.150
and I couldn't remember doing the session. I'm
00:19:11.150 --> 00:19:13.950
thinking... Oh, Doug, please ignore my idiot,
00:19:14.089 --> 00:19:16.549
mate. He hasn't got a clue. I haven't got a clue
00:19:16.549 --> 00:19:18.769
and I'm sorry, Doug, but if that was me, that
00:19:18.769 --> 00:19:25.099
was pretty good. Tell us about Tamworth. Pix,
00:19:25.259 --> 00:19:29.420
what was it like for you growing up? You know,
00:19:29.480 --> 00:19:34.980
I'll say this. Growing up gay, for me, was a
00:19:34.980 --> 00:19:38.000
piece of piss. Sure, I got bullied and sure,
00:19:38.039 --> 00:19:40.519
I got picked on, but for some reason, I looked
00:19:40.519 --> 00:19:42.960
at those kids being disadvantaged, not me, even
00:19:42.960 --> 00:19:46.500
though I was seriously disadvantaged. We were
00:19:46.500 --> 00:19:48.680
a very poor family. My mother was a cripple.
00:19:48.700 --> 00:19:51.619
My dad had no jobs. He was itinerant in that
00:19:51.619 --> 00:19:55.619
way. And we never had car, telephone or power.
00:19:56.000 --> 00:19:59.059
We went days and days and days without food sometimes.
00:19:59.220 --> 00:20:02.140
It was a very, very strange childhood. And I
00:20:02.140 --> 00:20:05.339
went out and picked bird's eggs and trapped rabbits.
00:20:05.460 --> 00:20:08.660
I was a child of the bush, so for me... It didn't
00:20:08.660 --> 00:20:11.000
occur to me that it was so terrible. It certainly
00:20:11.000 --> 00:20:13.480
gave you a determination. I mean, look at the
00:20:13.480 --> 00:20:15.460
stuff that you've done and look at who you've
00:20:15.460 --> 00:20:19.480
been with. Some kids pop out, don't we? Some
00:20:19.480 --> 00:20:21.920
kids. But some kids actually, you know, get crushed
00:20:21.920 --> 00:20:25.140
by it. You know, another kid, another kid. Yeah.
00:20:25.420 --> 00:20:26.819
You know who we're talking about, don't you?
00:20:26.859 --> 00:20:31.619
I do indeed. Libby. Sweet Libby. Look, Becky
00:20:31.619 --> 00:20:34.400
Cole, of course, and her love of her life, Libby.
00:20:35.180 --> 00:20:38.279
Libby wrote this gorgeous song, and every time
00:20:38.279 --> 00:20:41.380
I hear it, I just burst into tears. So go outside.
00:20:41.460 --> 00:20:45.180
Piss off outside while I play the song. Coloured
00:20:45.180 --> 00:20:49.359
windows, Sundays And a green two -dollar bill
00:20:49.359 --> 00:20:58.190
Sing the hymns past the playground I thought
00:20:58.190 --> 00:21:03.589
baby Jesus was the one who broke the hill The
00:21:03.589 --> 00:21:07.470
painted blue up there and red down on the ground
00:21:07.470 --> 00:21:15.529
It was 1980 something I was learning to be me
00:21:15.529 --> 00:21:24.170
Little tomboy girls had all the fun Kindness
00:21:24.170 --> 00:21:32.549
didn't cost a thing Sunday lunch meant food for
00:21:32.549 --> 00:21:38.349
everyone. I'm the outback preacher's daughter.
00:21:38.589 --> 00:25:04.609
I'm the little mouse that roared. to break Stompster
00:25:04.609 --> 00:28:15.650
and Grompster! to remind me of good times and
00:28:15.650 --> 00:29:03.190
friends till I'm back. Kimberly Frontier. Kimberly
00:29:03.190 --> 00:29:05.089
Frontier. Oh, gorgeous song. Absolutely gorgeous
00:29:05.089 --> 00:29:07.430
song. Great Tucker up there and all. Great Tucker
00:29:07.430 --> 00:29:09.970
up there? Yeah. Look, if I heard that wrong,
00:29:10.089 --> 00:29:13.230
I was thinking, that's Tucker up there. You're
00:29:13.230 --> 00:29:15.730
disgusting. That's what it sounded like. Oh,
00:29:15.730 --> 00:29:18.829
Tucker up there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. There's
00:29:18.829 --> 00:29:21.210
a lot of strange phrases like that in Australia,
00:29:21.329 --> 00:29:22.869
isn't there? I mean, if somebody was learning
00:29:22.869 --> 00:29:25.930
English from overseas and they came to Australia
00:29:25.930 --> 00:29:28.269
to learn English, they'd have a bit of a problem.
00:29:28.329 --> 00:29:31.509
They'd be stuffed. Absolutely stuffed. There's
00:29:31.509 --> 00:29:34.609
a phrase. Yeah. Yeah, there it is. And they wouldn't
00:29:34.609 --> 00:29:36.470
know, what do you mean by strine? Well, that's
00:29:36.470 --> 00:29:38.369
a stupid voice I was putting on there. But if
00:29:38.369 --> 00:29:41.890
you come to Australia, you'd have to learn strine,
00:29:41.890 --> 00:29:44.069
as they used to say. Yeah, let's talk strine.
00:29:44.109 --> 00:29:45.970
Let's talk strine. And you'd need these words
00:29:45.970 --> 00:29:48.369
for important Australian social occasions, like
00:29:48.369 --> 00:29:51.109
meeting a new family. Oh, new girlfriends. New
00:29:51.109 --> 00:29:54.190
girlfriends. Yeah. Impressing. He's going to
00:29:54.190 --> 00:29:56.369
try and impress his girlfriend. Oh, let's listen.
00:29:56.569 --> 00:29:58.730
Oh, this is Errol Gray. He's such a dick. He
00:29:58.730 --> 00:30:04.400
won't do it. I got a new girlfriend Took her
00:30:04.400 --> 00:30:09.960
to dinner to try and impress I even threw on
00:30:09.960 --> 00:30:14.079
the old school tie She wore her bridesmaid's
00:30:14.079 --> 00:30:19.880
dress We went to this trendy restaurant Yugo's
00:30:19.880 --> 00:30:25.559
Modern Australian Cuisine I started reading the
00:30:25.559 --> 00:30:30.700
menu It didn't look Australian to me What the
00:30:30.700 --> 00:30:35.839
hell's this? Pate foie de gloire. Cream brulee
00:30:35.839 --> 00:30:42.440
and consommé. Venison loin on blue vein spatzle.
00:30:42.519 --> 00:30:47.660
What? Served with bomb puree. Baked fig with
00:30:47.660 --> 00:30:54.660
goat curd salad. Confits and fricassees. Bucket
00:30:54.660 --> 00:30:58.920
if I know what it all means. They may as well
00:30:58.920 --> 00:31:06.140
be feeding me. Ducks guts on toast, mashed potatoes
00:31:06.140 --> 00:31:10.339
and a pitney little steak. Sprinkle with some
00:31:10.339 --> 00:31:14.740
fancy tomato sauce in the middle of a great big
00:31:14.740 --> 00:31:23.220
plate. I looked at the wine list, all cabs, abs
00:31:23.220 --> 00:31:28.250
and chardonnays. hey darl what the hell's a murlot
00:31:28.250 --> 00:31:34.309
i'm buggered i can't afford it anyway so i ordered
00:31:34.309 --> 00:31:39.210
a bottle of the goat now the cheapest on the
00:31:39.210 --> 00:31:46.390
list i kept topping her glass up hoping she might
00:31:46.390 --> 00:31:50.750
get drunk i wasn't gonna say pissed was i we're
00:31:50.750 --> 00:31:55.769
on to the second bottle The love dust was starting
00:31:55.769 --> 00:32:01.329
to fall. And when she put her hand on me leg,
00:32:01.349 --> 00:32:05.910
I thought, well, I was in for sure. Then this
00:32:05.910 --> 00:32:10.950
punty little waiter interrupted our romantic
00:32:10.950 --> 00:32:16.589
bliss. He plonked two plates on the table. I
00:32:16.589 --> 00:32:20.049
said, hey, mate, what do you call this? It looks
00:32:20.049 --> 00:32:25.109
like duck's guts on toast. Mashed potato and
00:32:25.109 --> 00:32:29.509
a piddly little steak. Sprinkled with some fancy
00:32:29.509 --> 00:32:33.750
tomato sauce in the middle of a great big plate.
00:32:37.009 --> 00:32:39.410
It took me about two minutes to eat me dinner.
00:32:40.750 --> 00:32:45.130
And I suppose it didn't taste that bad. But I
00:32:45.130 --> 00:32:48.509
was still feeling bloody hungry. So I asked the
00:32:48.509 --> 00:32:53.029
waiter what dessert they had. But I suddenly
00:32:53.029 --> 00:32:57.490
lost my appetite. I couldn't believe what I just
00:32:57.490 --> 00:33:02.970
heard. The only dessert they had that night was
00:33:02.970 --> 00:33:06.930
caramel cigars and lemon curd. I'd rather have
00:33:06.930 --> 00:33:12.329
ducks guts on toast, mashed potato and a piddly
00:33:12.329 --> 00:33:16.529
little steak. Sprinkle with some fancy tomato
00:33:16.529 --> 00:33:22.440
sauce in the middle of a great big plate. Come
00:33:22.440 --> 00:33:24.539
on, darling, we're not eating caramel cigars.
00:33:25.539 --> 00:33:27.819
You can eat them any time you go for a surf at
00:33:27.819 --> 00:33:30.359
Bondi. Oh, that's just awful. Come on, let's
00:33:30.359 --> 00:33:32.740
go back to my place, honey. Swim undeterred.
00:33:32.839 --> 00:33:37.740
He says fuck. He might have said Mr. Weppy earlier
00:33:37.740 --> 00:33:41.119
on. Thanks, Errol. I'm fucking hungry now. Duck's
00:33:41.119 --> 00:33:45.099
guts on toast. Errol Gray special. Have you heard
00:33:45.099 --> 00:33:47.240
him do the John Williamson take -off song? Yeah,
00:33:47.240 --> 00:33:51.000
that's it. Like to sing a song about Australia.
00:33:51.000 --> 00:33:54.680
About Australia. Where he got his inspiration
00:33:54.680 --> 00:33:56.500
from, not many people know this, but Errol Gray,
00:33:56.619 --> 00:34:01.019
fantastic wordsmith that he is, sold... He was
00:34:01.019 --> 00:34:03.960
the John Williamson shop bitch for about four
00:34:03.960 --> 00:34:06.240
or five years. Yeah, he used to sell John Williamson.
00:34:06.240 --> 00:34:09.000
He was quite at the front of the show. Wow. Yeah,
00:34:09.059 --> 00:34:11.340
there you go. Bit of country music history that
00:34:11.340 --> 00:34:13.920
he didn't want people to know. Now, look, I've
00:34:13.920 --> 00:34:16.199
got some favoured Aboriginal artists, of course,
00:34:16.239 --> 00:34:19.699
in my time. Seriously, Aboriginal artists, of
00:34:19.699 --> 00:34:22.239
course, but also the Tiwis across the top. There's
00:34:22.239 --> 00:34:24.469
some great talent in Australia. as we all know.
00:34:24.909 --> 00:34:27.710
They're very comedic. They are funny. Oh, and
00:34:27.710 --> 00:34:30.190
funny. Their humour is amazing. Just beautiful
00:34:30.190 --> 00:34:33.110
stuff. And I tell you what, when you go to Thursday
00:34:33.110 --> 00:34:36.630
Island, make sure you get a taxi trip up to the
00:34:36.630 --> 00:34:40.929
pub by this guy, the TI Taxi Driver. This guy's
00:34:40.929 --> 00:34:44.090
84 -year -old. Have a listen to this. TI Taxi
00:34:44.090 --> 00:34:47.630
Driver going round and round A giant traffic
00:34:47.630 --> 00:35:39.440
circle in a tiny town We'll be right back. morning
00:35:39.440 --> 00:38:00.139
in the taxi by Fantastic. T .I. Taxi Driver there
00:38:00.139 --> 00:38:03.659
from one of my favourite Tiwi artists there,
00:38:03.699 --> 00:38:05.940
Seaman Dan. You're going to be childish, aren't
00:38:05.940 --> 00:38:07.820
you? You're going to be really stupid. No, Seaman.
00:38:07.920 --> 00:38:10.980
You still listening to this crap? Oh, man, it's
00:38:10.980 --> 00:38:13.579
almost time for us to go. Another podcast, eh?
00:38:13.920 --> 00:38:16.840
Number two. It's number two. Wow, and it's only
00:38:16.840 --> 00:38:19.280
taken us 16 months. I know, it's fantastic, isn't
00:38:19.280 --> 00:38:21.320
it? Listen, we've got one more thing, and it's
00:38:21.320 --> 00:38:24.099
going to be, I reckon, I want to play... The
00:38:24.099 --> 00:38:29.539
track that made Murray Harton who he is today,
00:38:29.699 --> 00:38:33.420
strangely enough, is still Murray Harton. It's
00:38:33.420 --> 00:38:36.059
Turbulence. And this has got a bit of a story
00:38:36.059 --> 00:38:38.880
behind it. Well, yeah. The thing is that this
00:38:38.880 --> 00:38:42.119
is the poem that really kicked off or put a good...
00:38:42.400 --> 00:38:46.619
boot into the Australian bush poetry scene, if
00:38:46.619 --> 00:38:47.940
you want to put it that way. It was flogged by
00:38:47.940 --> 00:38:50.840
lousy, wasn't it? It certainly was, but it did
00:38:50.840 --> 00:38:53.780
a good bloody job and it's a great piece. Turbulence,
00:38:53.780 --> 00:38:56.599
it's called, and it's about a very iconic Australian.
00:38:57.000 --> 00:39:00.349
Billy Hayes. Who passed away not too long ago.
00:39:00.690 --> 00:39:03.989
And he was a bit of a legend as well. He certainly
00:39:03.989 --> 00:39:05.829
was. Big funeral out there at Alice Springs for
00:39:05.829 --> 00:39:07.989
him. Here's a tale of Billy Hayes from out near
00:39:07.989 --> 00:39:11.010
Alice Springs. A wild young ringer in his day
00:39:11.010 --> 00:39:13.670
who'd done some crazy things. He'd jumped bulls
00:39:13.670 --> 00:39:17.150
over fences, raced a colt up Ayres Rock, so his
00:39:17.150 --> 00:39:19.369
legs weren't built for walking, they were made
00:39:19.369 --> 00:39:22.530
for riding stock. A legend round the rodeos from
00:39:22.530 --> 00:39:25.750
Ayler on to Broome, an untried horse at 6am was
00:39:25.750 --> 00:39:29.059
saddle -broke by noon. No form of equine foolery
00:39:29.059 --> 00:39:31.760
Bill wasn't going to try. Only one thing ever
00:39:31.760 --> 00:39:36.500
spooked him. He was way too scared to fly. If
00:39:36.500 --> 00:39:38.360
I was meant to do it, I'd have feathers and a
00:39:38.360 --> 00:39:41.880
beak. You take the plane there in a day, I'll
00:39:41.880 --> 00:39:44.679
drive and waste a week. I've been told they're
00:39:44.679 --> 00:39:46.780
safe as houses and mechanically they're sound.
00:39:47.739 --> 00:39:49.900
I don't see no rope or bridle, so I'm sticking
00:39:49.900 --> 00:39:52.539
on the ground. But one day Billy got a phone
00:39:52.539 --> 00:39:54.739
call from his mate in Adelaide. He'd got his
00:39:54.739 --> 00:39:56.699
girl in trouble, so the wedding cards were played.
00:39:57.460 --> 00:39:59.840
Oh, Bill, I don't care how you do it. You can
00:39:59.840 --> 00:40:02.360
beg or steal or borrow. But, mate, you've got
00:40:02.360 --> 00:40:04.420
to take the plane because the big day's on tomorrow.
00:40:05.260 --> 00:40:07.719
Well, Billy cursed and spat it, said, that dopey
00:40:07.719 --> 00:40:10.539
bloody coot. He knows I'd jump on anything that's
00:40:10.539 --> 00:40:13.500
coming out of shoot. I've caught stallions that'll
00:40:13.500 --> 00:40:14.719
kill you. I've caught bulls that'll get off their
00:40:14.719 --> 00:40:17.360
brain. Never thought they'd come today. I'd have
00:40:17.360 --> 00:40:20.039
to catch a plane. He led you to the airport.
00:40:20.099 --> 00:40:22.500
He thought, well, this is it. The lady at the
00:40:22.500 --> 00:40:27.079
counter asked, where would you like to sit? He
00:40:27.079 --> 00:40:30.380
said, you know that black box thing they always
00:40:30.380 --> 00:40:37.019
seem to find? You can stick me right inside it
00:40:37.019 --> 00:40:41.019
if you wouldn't bloody mind. The lady smiled
00:40:41.019 --> 00:40:42.739
politely and said, sir, I'll just take your bag.
00:40:43.039 --> 00:40:45.539
He said, I don't bloody think so. And by the
00:40:45.539 --> 00:40:48.360
way, it's called a swag. Well, Bill was sweating
00:40:48.360 --> 00:40:50.219
buckets when they finally cleared the strip.
00:40:50.519 --> 00:40:52.800
He had his seatbelt on that tight he was bleeding
00:40:52.800 --> 00:40:56.130
from the hip. But when they leveled out, he stopped
00:40:56.130 --> 00:40:57.929
shaking at the knees. He looked around relaxed
00:40:57.929 --> 00:41:00.730
and thought, this flying game's a breeze. He
00:41:00.730 --> 00:41:03.230
clipped his belt undone, stretched out in his
00:41:03.230 --> 00:41:06.170
seat. Well, he couldn't stretch that far because
00:41:06.170 --> 00:41:09.469
his swag was at his feet. Then the captain crackled
00:41:09.469 --> 00:41:11.309
something. Bill asked the hostess what was said.
00:41:12.550 --> 00:41:14.550
Sir, you'd better buckle up. There's some turbulence
00:41:14.550 --> 00:41:19.869
ahead. Turbulence? What's that? Sir, it's pockets
00:41:19.869 --> 00:41:22.610
caused by heat. And when it gets severe, it can
00:41:22.610 --> 00:41:27.380
throw you from your seat. Throw me, I'll be buggered.
00:41:30.000 --> 00:41:33.059
He pushed his seat right back, wrapped his legs
00:41:33.059 --> 00:41:35.039
around his swag and stuck his left hand through
00:41:35.039 --> 00:41:39.260
the strap. He jammed down his Acubra. He was
00:41:39.260 --> 00:41:42.500
ready now to ride. Then things got pretty bumpy
00:41:42.500 --> 00:41:46.719
and Billy yelled, Outside! While the plane she
00:41:46.719 --> 00:41:48.940
dropped a thousand feet rose up five hundred
00:41:48.940 --> 00:41:51.159
more. When his head near hit the ceiling he gave
00:41:51.159 --> 00:41:53.980
a mighty roar. I've rolled all through the territory
00:41:53.980 --> 00:41:56.829
and never come unstuck. So give me all you got,
00:41:56.909 --> 00:42:02.710
big bird, and buck you bastard buck. And while
00:42:02.710 --> 00:42:04.949
the passengers were screaming in fear of certain
00:42:04.949 --> 00:42:07.050
death, Billy whooped and hollered till he near
00:42:07.050 --> 00:42:09.030
ran out of breath. You would have thought that
00:42:09.030 --> 00:42:13.409
canvas swag was welded to his ass. And before
00:42:13.409 --> 00:42:15.389
the ringer knew it, he'd backed up the business
00:42:15.389 --> 00:42:22.869
class. There seemed no way to tame this creature
00:42:22.869 --> 00:42:25.190
that had ten gears in reverse. Didn't worry Billy,
00:42:25.230 --> 00:42:27.849
he just bucked on through to first. He'd done
00:42:27.849 --> 00:42:30.150
somersaults with twists on this mongrel mount
00:42:30.150 --> 00:42:33.150
from hell. He yelled out to the pilot, for Christ's
00:42:33.150 --> 00:42:41.329
sake, ring the bell. Oh, Bill was bleeding from
00:42:41.329 --> 00:42:45.449
the bugle. He had cuts above both eyes. If you
00:42:45.449 --> 00:42:46.690
weren't there on the spot, you'd probably think
00:42:46.690 --> 00:42:49.469
I'm telling lies. He'd been upside down, inside
00:42:49.469 --> 00:42:52.309
out, done flips and triple spins. You might have
00:42:52.309 --> 00:42:54.719
seen some great rides in your time. But hands
00:42:54.719 --> 00:42:57.559
down, Billy wins. With the flight returned to
00:42:57.559 --> 00:43:01.260
normal, Bill was flat out on the deck. Still
00:43:01.260 --> 00:43:03.320
stuck to his swag, but he looked a bloody wreck.
00:43:03.780 --> 00:43:05.679
He pulled himself together, stood up and raised
00:43:05.679 --> 00:43:08.840
his hat. Said, I've had some tough trips in me
00:43:08.840 --> 00:43:12.179
time, but never one like that. An eight -second
00:43:12.179 --> 00:43:14.260
spin analysis proves you're made of sturdy stuff.
00:43:15.079 --> 00:43:17.079
I was on there near a minute, and I reckon that's
00:43:17.079 --> 00:43:20.440
enough. Well, the first -class folk were dumbstruck
00:43:20.440 --> 00:43:23.469
at this crazy ringer's feet. But Bill just grabbed
00:43:23.469 --> 00:43:26.070
a crownie and he walked back to his seat. Now
00:43:26.070 --> 00:43:27.989
years have passed, Bill's long give the bucking
00:43:27.989 --> 00:43:31.050
game away. Too many breaks and dusty miles for
00:43:31.050 --> 00:43:33.929
far too little pay. Now planes are not a problem.
00:43:34.130 --> 00:43:36.909
In fact, you'd rather fly than ride. And when
00:43:36.909 --> 00:43:39.289
you talk about his maiden voyage, his chest puffs
00:43:39.289 --> 00:43:43.329
out with pride. You can talk about your rocky
00:43:43.329 --> 00:43:47.050
neds and that old chainsaw bloke. I'd ride them
00:43:47.050 --> 00:43:48.949
both without a rope and roll a bloody smoke.
00:43:50.380 --> 00:43:52.519
There's cowboys around who think they're hot.
00:43:53.280 --> 00:43:56.219
Well, they ain't tasted heat. They've ridden
00:43:56.219 --> 00:43:59.599
time on turbulence at 30 ,000 feet. Turbulence.
00:43:59.739 --> 00:44:01.659
Thanks, mate. I think he's drunk. Thank you.
00:44:01.800 --> 00:44:09.019
He's pretty good. He's drunk. He's pretty good.
00:44:09.099 --> 00:44:12.800
Give us another. Talk about drunk. At only two
00:44:12.800 --> 00:44:15.119
bucks an episode, what have you got to lose?
00:44:15.300 --> 00:44:27.030
Two bucks, I guess. like it who cares if you
00:44:27.030 --> 00:44:30.289
do we'll be back next week with another episode
00:44:30.289 --> 00:44:32.090
of stumpy and grumpy
