Andy: Hello everyone, I'm Andy and
Mark: And I'm Mark.
Andy: here we are speaking shite.
Mark: is that what it is today? So I should have prepared something, you mean?
Andy: God, it's working with amateurs. When, when, will I be discovered?
Mark: I mean, you know, what was funny in the news this week actually, I don't know if you remember, about a month ago or so I was talking about a woman who was standing in the background at in the Oval Office behind Trump
Andy: yes.
Mark: who looked and I d as I said at the time, I don't normally comment on how people look, but she looked like she was an alien.
Andy: I know who you mean now because she went viral.
Mark: Yeah, exactly. She went viral. So I was at least two weeks ahead of the news cycle. Yes,
Andy: married to the head of Dell computers.
Mark: married to the hell of Del Dell Computers. But what is so bizarre with all of these people that surround Trump, she used to be y she was a pretty normal looking person. I mean she was a pretty woman. What the hell has she done to herself?
Andy: Yeah, they sculpt them. I don't think she's done it to herself. I think she's been sculpted. I think these fucking billionaires have got nothing better to do than just try and use their in-built... I mean, look at Donald Trump. He probably thinks he could redesign the perfect woman because he knows how to do everything. And I think this is what they're doing. They're taking these perfectly good women and they're ruining...
Mark: It can't literally
Andy: I mean, she looks like a man in drag.
Mark: She looks like she's been standing two metres from a nuclear blast and just wha It's like, what happened
Andy: Yeah, it's awful.
Mark: to her? I couldn't believe it when I found out she was the the wife of Dell Computers.
Andy: It's terrible.
Mark: Anyway, you know, as I say, I don't I don't like to comment on on what people look like, but to be honest with the Trump administration, all my normal morals and just get thrown out the window.
Andy: Well, I mean, you've seen he's got a new press secretary from Fox News, another one. And she looks
Mark: Yes, yes.
Andy: exactly the same as the last one, with the blonde hair and the makeup and the Barbie doll, because...
Mark: Wha why? Why are they willing to do it? Is it literally their fifteen minutes of fame?
Andy: They are prostitutes. They are literally prostitutes. They're looking for, they know, they must know that he's the most hated man on the planet. They must be offered so much money and they just must look at it as some kind of early retirement plan. Or
Mark: Clearly.
Andy: they actually think that sucking on the presidential teat, no matter who is the president, is a good thing.
Mark: I I don't know, as I said as I said last week or whenever it was, I I feel that they're they're real cracks appearing now. with the Republican Party itself and their relationship to Trump. They have to see that he is not an asset to the Republican Party. Well,
Andy: Well, he is an asset, but he's a Russian asset.
Mark: yes. I mean, you know, it was three weeks ago that Trump was saying, anybody who trades oil with Russia, we will impose sanctions.
Andy: Yeah.
Mark: Three weeks later, he's buying oil from Russia.
Andy: I've done a great deal. I've done a fantastic, the best deal ever. And I mean, it's not a great deal. Apparently in the space of a month, you'll get enough diesel to run the country for about 12 hours.
Mark: literally I think it's a quarter of a per cent of their diesel consumption. Through with yeah. Yes, exactly. You have to
Andy: And that's if Putin even comes through, because Putin's probably sitting there going, guess what I did today?
Mark: Exactly. You have to pay up front, Mr Trump. You pay up front, we will deliver the oil. Exactly.
Andy: Yeah, where is the cash? First is where is the cash?
Mark: But you know, he Well, the administration Trump must be so desperate for some good news. But he's willing to do anything 'cause it's only four weeks away now, these midterm elections.
Andy: I know and I mean we can look at this as a kind of countdown now because something is going to happen. He's got to try and get these midterms stopped because there's not a chance in hell that he's going to win.
Mark: I think he's already started deploying National Guard to various because I think they can start voting now. I d I don't think you it's like it in Sweden. I think it's a few weeks in advance you can start voting.
Andy: Yeah maybe, I don't know, but you will get the diehards who want to turn up on the day. Especially the ones who want to make a point.
Mark: I was I mean, you know, his his poll figures are are obviously very low. I think he's down to thirty percent or maybe maybe even less thirty less than thirty percent approval. But what is absolutely staggering is that a third, effectively, of people approve what he's doing. Good man. What
Andy: Yeah, but there's probably a third of people who just watch Fox News and don't actually know what's happening in the real world.
Mark: Well, clearly. Well it is that's it's a very good point. It's just indicative of how removed from reality so many of the population are, it seems.
Andy: Yeah, mean, whenever he pops up a lot on my feed as I'm doom scrolling,
Mark: Yeah.
Andy: you know, with his latest wisdom words that
Mark: Yeah.
Andy: he typed, do you know what? He's still going on about the Nobel Peace Prize and he's mad as hell that America, with me as the president, was not presented with the Nobel Peace Prize and he spells it noble. He can't even
Mark: does it?
Andy: spell the Nobel Peace Prize that he
Mark: Yeah.
Andy: insists he is not only deserving of, he should win every year.
Mark: It was a shame that they they chose a very diplomatic candidate or winner in that it was some lady who worked for the UN for several years. I'm sure she's very deserving of it. But I I
Andy: I'm sorry, it shouldn't have gone anywhere near Sam. I have a friend in South Africa who's a businessman.
Mark: Is she i is she South African?
Andy: I have a friend in South Africa who's a businessman I speak to quite regularly. And he was saying that last week some...
Mark: There was something happened last week in South Africa. Riots or something.
Andy: Well, it happened actually in Washington because they put up 3000 white crosses on the lawn outside the White House. And that was one
Mark: yes.
Andy: to represent each farmer who's been murdered in South Africa and their lands have been stolen off them.
Mark: yeah, but that that was based on the falsehood of the original Three Thousand White Crosses that in fact was a memorial in South Africa which didn't relate to white farmers at all. It was everybody that had been killed.
Andy: No, this is specifically about white farmers. He was telling me he's terrified because apparently the government now can just say you don't live there anymore. It's not your house anymore. This is not your business anymore. He's terrified of losing his business. And I said to him, why don't you just get out? He said, it's not that easy. I can't just leave. He said, I've got a business.
Mark: What is what is really stupid is that they need successful agricultural businesses in South Africa and unfortunately generally speaking when these things are repossessed or not repossessed
Andy: they're not run properly.
Mark: they're not run properly and that's that that is the real you know One can argue the merits or injustices relating to who controls the farming land in South Africa, but they need to produce food.
Andy: Well, generally the people who are farmers should be controlling the farming land.
Mark: Mm.
Andy: Not the people who are farm workers, because they just don't understand the intricacies of running a farm. I mean, look at Clarkson's farm. Without his little ginger sidekick, there
Mark: Caleb.
Andy: would be nothing growing there. know, Clarkson is not a farmer.
Mark: I didn't see it but there was actually a farmer commenting on Clarkson as a farmer, and in fact I think it was generally positive only to the extent that Clarkson had brought a lot of issues to head using his celebrity status.
Andy: Yeah, yeah, sure. He's made awareness. He's given awareness.
Mark: But I I can't I I don't know if it's true, but it's certainly speculated that Clarkson was one of the people that bought a farm specifically to avoid income tax not income tax, inheritance tax.
Andy: Possibly.
Mark: I mean, you know, it's the sort of thing he would do.
Andy: yeah.
Mark: And he bought a farm.
Andy: Tax avoidance is tax avoidance. doesn't matter where it comes from.
Mark: I never remember tax avoidance is legal, tax evasion is illegal.
Andy: Yes.
Mark: Because there was something about Abramovich. You know the Chelsea man?
Andy: Yeah, he was an evader. The avoidance is when you sidestep the taxman. The evasion is when you jump out of way.
Mark: well yes, when you lie about it. But wasn't it funny, were you living in London when when he was in London? Because I
Andy: Yes, I think so.
Mark: was living in London when when he was around. I think I was there when he bought Chelsea, I can't remember when it was. And for some bizarre reason, I just assumed But he was one of the good guys because, you know, why would they allow
Andy: There's no such thing.
Mark: any criminal to buy a Chelsea football club or own
Andy: One of the qualifications to become an oligarch is to have murdered all your competition.
Mark: Well no, but this is why I th I can't believe well, you c you can. I can't believe why I was so naive in this respect. He was a Russian oligarch, full stop, he was a criminal, and that was all there was to it. But I saw him as well if he's living and operating in London in plain sight of everybody, he must be one of the good guys. And in fact he wasn't. He was just like all the rest.
Andy: Yes, they say crime doesn't pay, but it actually does.
Mark: Well a Russian crime certainly does.
Andy: Well, British crime as well.
Mark: yeah, I suppose so. I mean d d do they still have big crime families in England? Are they still are they still a thing?
Andy: Yes, they do. Yes, they do. And yes, they are.
Mark: Really?
Andy: We speak about them sometimes on the murdery bits, me and Richard.
Mark: what the actual f families or
Andy: Yeah.
Mark: in general are really.
Andy: Yeah, individual families have come up.
Mark: Really? That's a bit risky. What about if they don't like the publicity of appearing on a podcast?
Andy: With our audience on Murdery Bits, I'm not sure you could call it publicity.
Mark: There's too much to worry about. No, but isn't it funny how you can just be completely oblivious to what is blatantly obvious? So in a way it's what I'm describing a situation of myself and in fact it probably applies to what we were talking about before Trump supporters in America. They're just oblivious to what is patently obvious.
Andy: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they could stand in front of Trump and they wouldn't smell the coffee or the shit in his pants.
Mark: No.
Andy: They would just listen to the honeyed nonsense coming out of his mouth about how great and wonderful and best of everything everything is. And they just
Mark: Yeah. Yeah.
Andy: go, we're winning. We're winning.
Mark: Yes, and believe it. Anyway, we don't need to dwell on crime families. What what other so I picked on that news story that went viral that I was two weeks ahead of with that poor woman who looks completely shocking or shocked actually. She looks shocked the whole time. what else is going on in the world? We've touched on
Andy: Whoa.
Mark: the Trump oil thing, the reversal within three weeks. What else?
Andy: Well, his son is being investigated now for insider trading. Trump's. Yeah, because apparently
Mark: Whose son? What Baron? The illegal immigrant?
Andy: he made 150 million fucking dollars. whoever it is, Securities Commission, whatever, they're going, we're
Mark: Yeah. S E C yeah.
Andy: not having this. So apparently he's being investigated. So it'll be interesting to see what happens with that.
Mark: Nothing. It's it will t Trump will turn into it's a witch hunt. They failed to
Andy: Also...
Mark: go after me, they're going after my children.
Andy: also in America. The woman who they executed twice has been released and sent back
Mark: yes, it's back in prison. Yeah.
Andy: to prison, which I find astounding, to be honest. I find it astounding. They need to let her go.
Mark: Wasn't it? Is is is this an urban myth? Or is it true that if you if the execution fails three times, then you're free to go? It used to be part of the electric chair. If the if the electric chair fused or blew a fuse three times, then that was it. You were able to go home.
Andy: I don't think there was ever any set rules, but certainly in the days of the Wild West, if you were hung...
Mark: W how can you survive a hanging? They just wait there until you die.
Andy: No, when you hang and your neck's to break, when you do a drop,
Mark: All right.
Andy: if you survive that, basically the sentence has been carried out.
Mark: 'cause you have been No, no, no, no, no, no. I remember in the f what what films I've seen, the judge always says, You shall be hanged until you are dead
Andy: no, that's only a movie thing I believe.
Mark: Really? Hmm.
Andy: But I don't know. I mean, I never saw her hanging. Talking of which, we can't leave Trump madness until we got on about this live streaming execution nonsense that they're talking about bringing out.
Mark: Yes, and I made a mistake actually. I can't I think I was talking to you about it and I said he was a spy. He wasn't a spy. He actually went on a shooting rampage. Yeah, exactly.
Andy: No, no, no, he was a shooter.
Mark: You don't think it's got
Andy: Yeah.
Mark: anything to do with his surname being Hassan that they want to live stream the ex
Andy: It's got a lot to do with that. It's got a lot to do with that. I think that... What they're doing is basically advertising the US as the new caliphate. Because if
Mark: Christian caliphate.
Andy: you're willing to live stream executions, are you not the Taliban?
Mark: No, but this is this someone made this point, d do you remember it was absolutely vile, but do you remember when the Taliban was I don't know if it was live streaming, but it was actually they they released videos of them behe beheading beheading
Andy: They were putting up beheading videos.
Mark: it happened to be an English soldier, as I recall, Bigley or something his name was.
Andy: They did a few of them.
Mark: Did they did a few of them. And we were all th
Andy: Mmm.
Mark: why you'd want to watch it God only knows, but it was just absolutely repulsive. And what's the difference? Well no I wouldn't watch.
Andy: I never watched one. I never watched one. And I won't watch anything live streamed by Trump TV.
Mark: No. I wonder right, put a number.
Andy: And it's, if they do it, a number.
Mark: Put a number on the number of people that are I don't think it's gonna happen. If it does happen, how many people in America do you think would watch a live stream of a man being executed?
Andy: millions. But I wonder, and the guy's in a wheelchair, he's a paraplegic, so
Mark: Is it?
Andy: yeah, so the chances are...
Mark: because of his injuries when they sh finally caught him?
Andy: Yeah, when they finally shot him in the... Yeah. But the thing is, being American soldiers, no offence, but you're going to miss some of you. Even though he's sitting in a wheelchair and unable to get out of the way, I know that there'll be bullets in the wall behind him. Now, what if he survives
Mark: well in fact
Andy: this shooting? Now, the soldiers themselves... if they've got any self-respect, will refuse to take part in a televised event where they're seen shooting someone to death.
Mark: Well, in fact th that's interesting you say that because that was the latest update I read that any number of soldiers I can't remember the exact number, but there's a lot of soldiers are refusing to be part of a televised firing squad and they were saying, Do I want my child at some stage in the future watching dad shoot someone dead?
Andy: shoot a man in a wheelchair.
Mark: Exactly. So luckily I think
Andy: How are you any better?
Mark: Yeah. Yeah.
Andy: It's just fucking ridiculous.
Mark: well that's Heg Seth for you.
Andy: That also, also, this is proof for me, with that that I didn't need, that the Americans never ever laid eyes on Osama bin Laden because if they're willing to televise a live execution of a guy who shot some soldiers, why the hell would they not televise how they shot bin Laden?
Mark: Sorry, what? You think Bin Laden's still alive? yeah, sorry, I know this
Andy: You know this. We've had this discussion.
Mark: i th th your conspiracy theory is that he never died.
Andy: Yes, they never found him. Allegedly they found him, they killed him and they got rid of the body at sea before because it's in the Muslim tradition that they must be buried as soon as possible. So they wanted to respect that. And they never showed any photos, any videos, never happened. Why? It's a lie. That's why it never happened.
Mark: So where is he?
Andy: It is on an island with Elvis and Hitler. And Jeffrey. No, listen,
Mark: Exactly. Exactly.
Andy: it's quite easy for an Arab to disappear, I would imagine. Just put a different coloured sheet on and move to another part of Arabia.
Mark: what about Saddam Hussein? Do you think he's still alive? They found him in a hole somewhere.
Andy: Probably not, I think he actually got caught. And there was video of him being basically ripped apart by his own soldiers, I think.
Mark: No, no, no, no, no. He was caught in a hole by American soldiers. He'd literally crawled into a hole somewhere.
Andy: But yeah, I never bought this, no, we're not going to show that, we're not going to show, it's disrespectful. Fuck off. Are you telling me that someone who allegedly killed 3,000 odd Americans live on TV, you're not going to show a picture of his dead body? I don't believe that for a second.
Mark: What was the conclusion with nine eleven? Was it an inside job? What's your feeling on that? Well 'cause I don't wanna say it, but
Andy: They're never going to say that, are they? But mean, yes, it was an inside job. Of course it was an inside job. I mean, it was proved beyond any doubt that if a plane had actually crashed into the Pentagon, as claimed, it would have had to be skimming six feet off the ground and hit it head on. then, yeah,
Mark: But it didn't hit the Pentagon.
Andy: yeah, because there was three planes that actually connected allegedly. And yes.
Mark: Well no, I thought they crashed before they got there.
Andy: No, no, no. And like there was not one piece of debris left. Not one piece of aeroplane debris left because of the intense heat of the explosions, etc. But luckily they found a passport.
Mark: Passport of what? The pilot?
Andy: One of the terrorists, Mohammed Al Hussein Hababi, luckily his passport survived, whereas everything else was incinerated and turned to dust. That was very fortuitous. They brought
Mark: Twenty five years ago.
Andy: out the passport business in the debris at the World Trade Center as well. we found passports. Terrorist passports. Fuck off. How stupid do they think people are?
Mark: Mm, I don't know. I'm not
Andy: Well, actually that's a stupid question because just look at what's happening now. People are obviously pretty stupid.
Mark: Yeah, well what is really sad is clearly that's the intention to keep people stupid.
Andy: Well, yeah, I mean, that goes beyond anything that the government's doing directly. That goes down into education and lack of education and what's happening with our schools.
Mark: If you wanted to improve the educational standards of most children in your country, would you appoint a World Wrestling Federation person to take over the schools?
Andy: Do you know Sweden have actually done something that I will applaud. Yes. Sweden
Mark: Applaud. good. Something positive. Well done, Andy. Let's hear. Da da da da da
Andy: have decided now Sweden in 2004 or by 2004 had introduced laptops to all their students. They're going back to pen and paper. Well done Sweden.
Mark: yes. I b I know this. That's right, I know. I think I don't think this is new news. But you're absolutely right. I think it was Finland who started the trend. and in fact it wasn't just laptops, they were given iPads.
Andy: iPads as well.
Mark: Yeah, exactly. And now rightly so they're reverting back to pen and paper.
Andy: Yeah, because if you type something on a screen, you don't take it in, you don't think about it, you just type it in. But if you're writing something, you're looking at it the whole time. And you can think about it, you make adjustments, you change something. When you're typing, it's just so cold and clinical. And you don't learn anything, I don't think.
Mark: well I was going to say the simple act of your brain writing something on a piece of paper is another method, it's another prompt for your memory.
Andy: Yeah.
Mark: So you I think you're absolutely right. You definitely learn more if you are forced to take notes in a with a pen and paper rather than just because these days, I'm sure, a lot of the kids d don't they just sort of record the lecture and they get given a
Andy: They get given a Cripshee at the end.
Mark: not a crib sheet, when you get all of the words that are spoken. What's that? Script. No, it's
Andy: transcript.
Mark: transcript, thank you, transcript. And so they d literally
Andy: It's awful.
Mark: didn't have to do anything. They could be watching YouTube at the lecture.
Andy: It's awful because I mean, you can see when you look in through anything online and you go into the comments section and you come to the grammar of these are fully grown up people who can't spell simple words. And you think Jesus, you should never have been allowed a screen because Until you've written for years using a pen and paper, your grammar will be awful. And it needs to be pointed out and corrected. And you can't do that with a screen.
Mark: people don't care. they have this crazy idea that as long as you're understood, what's the problem?
Andy: Whoever decided that the phonetic way of learning was a good idea should be hung.
Mark: How well did you do in school?
Andy: Very well. In English, definitely.
Mark: No, but generally how worked did you get to A levels a degree? I can't you didn't go to univers
Andy: I didn't know I did my O levels and then I went, I think seven,
Mark: How many did you get? All right.
Andy: and I went back to do a degree in computer programming a couple of years later after an access course because I didn't have A levels. I
Mark: And and
Andy: did very well until I got my grant money one time and took a holiday in Greece and didn't come back.
Mark: Is that what you did? You literally you were one of those scammers.
Andy: Yeah. Yes. You
Mark: Nice. Is that literally what you did, Andy? You got your three thousand three hundred cheque or whatever it was a year. A grant. Literally they gave you the money and you disappeared
Andy: Yeah, yes, they gave it to me.
Mark: off to Greece and never came back. No no no, but I mean
Andy: Well, I did come back, but I didn't go back to school. Which was
Mark: What were you thinking?
Andy: it was the best way to use that money because when I was doing my programming it was all COBOL and Pascal and BASIC, they were all dead languages. Yeah.
Mark: Now. Yeah, but if if you had learnt the basics you might have been more a you might have been a successful you would have been a good gamer programmer developer sort of person.
Andy: My heart wasn't in it. Once I had hit the beaches in Greece I realised that my calling lay in the middle of Europe.
Mark: Mm. No, 'cause I did disastrously at school.
Andy: I didn't enjoy school.
Mark: no no I didn't really enjoy school.
Andy: I think now I would. I think there's an argument that we should start our kids working as early as possible and send them to school when they're 25.
Mark: You know you know when people always and it may just be my circumstances because I always I'm doing practical things all the time. But you know when they say in maths you learn at school you never use it in the rest of your life? Well it's not, I use my maths all the time. I was using
Andy: D
Mark: trigonometry yesterday in
Andy: Really?
Mark: the garage.
Andy: To do what?
Mark: Well when I was just measuring up for dimensions and such like, I use I don't use algebra much. And I certainly don't use calculus or anything that sophisticated, but just the basic stuff that everyone should know. I use it all the time.
Andy: Well, I mean, I did use algebra quite a lot in the 90s. I'd phone someone go, I need a bag of X and I'll meet you at Y, Z and we'll sort out the equation with the paperwork at the other end.
Mark: Yeah, exactly, exactly. No, but I mean I I did very badly at school you know, in defence in my defence, it became obvious in later life that I was absolutely dyslexic. But I remember I might have mentioned it before, I remember just before the O levels you were supposed to choose what you were going to do for your A levels. It was assumed you'd go
Andy: Yes.
Mark: on to sixth form. And I remember speaking to my physics teacher and I said, his name wasn't Baker, he was my biology teacher. I can't remember the name of my physics teacher. I said, Mr. Butler, I'm I'm thinking of doing physics
Andy: I love you, Butler.
Mark: doing physics A level and he literally laughed.
Andy: You
Mark: He literally laughed. He thought I was so stupid that it was ridiculous to consider doing physics A le A level.
Andy: I miss those days when teachers would openly mock children.
Mark: Yes, yeah, yeah. And then I got I got I I got a B in my O level. I got an A in maths, I've got a B in physics. I only got four O levels. I never passed English.
Andy: English was my strong subject.
Mark: Have you ever written anything?
Andy: I did a bit of kiting in the time.
Mark: No, but have you done your memoirs, Andy?
Andy: I've forgotten most of it. Most of it
Mark: Yeah, exactly.
Andy: was disappeared by the next morning to be honest. I hear stories about myself but I don't remember doing it.
Mark: No, because my daughter asked me the other day I should start writing down some of these old family stories 'cause I've got quite a interesting family history and of course it will all be lost within a couple of generations or and when I die, Izzy and Alex won't know anything about you know
Andy: precious.
Mark: no, exact you know, things like that, you know because as I say, my grandparents actually had quite interesting lives. And it's nice to have some sort of grounding in where you came from. Anyway, I don't know what got us on to education subject. yes, it was me. World World World Wrestling Emporium
Andy: Yeah.
Mark: or whatever she was is
Andy: Well, let's go on to sort of recent news.
Mark: And that is
Andy: Man in Yorkshire who jumped into the Tigering.
Mark: These sad stories.
Andy: I mean...
Mark: I mean what why would you why would you choose to make such a spectacle of wanting to kill yourself?
Andy: I don't think the idea was that he was going to die because apparently, depending on where you read, while he was being, and I quote this from
Mark: Mould
Andy: a radio presenter, while he was grappling with the tiger, he was heard to say no five times. Like, I think he got into play with them.
Mark: we don't know the details, but one
Andy: I know, but, you know, and I'm sure that the words mental health will come into this story at some point.
Mark: Well, quite rightly. I mean anybody who jumps into a bloody lion's I mean, what is that's the definition of mental health issues. If you jump into a lion's den
Andy: But one of the zookeepers said that the lion's intention wasn't to kill him because if he wanted to kill him he would have been dead in the first five seconds.
Mark: Yeah.
Andy: The lion was actually being playful.
Mark: Uh-huh. Hm. Anyway. I went to it was it a tiger? Hmm.
Andy: And not rely on the tiger. Of course. Yeah.
Mark: I must admit, w I don't know what your feeling is on on on captive animals full stop, it's all a bit
Andy: You know, there are more tigers in captivity than there are in the wild. And that is
Mark: Mm. S
Andy: a depressing thought.
Mark: What I was gonna say, is that an argument for conservation or is it an argument what the hell are we doing, sort of thing?
Andy: Well, and the worst of that is that when I say in private ownership, I don't necessarily mean zoos and safari parks. We're talking about private ownership as well.
Mark: I wouldn't be surprised if Kim Kardashian has a tiger somewhere.
Andy: Well, Mike Tyson used to have a white tiger, Siberian tiger. Yeah.
Mark: Did he?
Andy: And he's not the only one. There was, it was a thing in Hollywood at one time in LA to walk around with your Siberian on a leash.
Mark: What in public?
Andy: Yeah.
Mark: Ye no that's an urban myth.
Andy: That.
Mark: Mike Tyson used to walk around Hollywood with a white tiger on his on a leash.
Andy: I wouldn't... Who's gonna stop him?
Mark: Right.
Andy: He's Mike Tyson and he's got a fucking tiger. Who the hell is gonna say no?
Mark: Yeah, yeah. Which one which one would you shoot first? Y you don't know which is more dangerous. No, but I was at we went to it wasn't really it was actually gardens, but they had animals when I was in France and it was just so sad to see these animals in they weren't cages, they were sort of, you know, in an a mini natural
Andy: Little enclosure.
Mark: environment, enclosure, but it was still so sad.
Andy: Yeah, but you know, that's still thousands of times smaller than that natural environment.
Mark: Yeah, yeah.
Andy: It's like you having to live in a bedsit.
Mark: Yeah. Well, lots of people do obviously, but no no, I I don't know. We used to go
Andy: Yeah, but you're used to something larger.
Mark: to when the children were young and I was living in England, we used to go to the Cotswold Wildlife Park, if you've ever been there. Very close to Jeremy Clarkson. And you know, they were quite vast areas, but the monkeys were in what was sort of like an aviary actually. It was a you know, it was a big old structure, but nevertheless they're still captive.
Andy: I mean...
Mark: For us to look at eating sandwiches and ice cream, looking at monkeys in a cage.
Andy: If you ever took a canal boat via the Regents Canal in London, passed
Mark: yes, through London Zoo, the Avery.
Andy: under the Monkey Cage in London Zoo, which is also like a massive aviary.
Mark: Yeah. But I dunno, you know, London Zoo when I s I remember the they had polar bears in concrete enclosures and shit. It's just no
Andy: Yeah, it's not the right place.
Mark: no, no. You have to feel a bit sad for them.
Andy: Bear in mind that London Zoo was founded in the late 1700s, I think.
Mark: Yeah.
Andy: So in those days, I mean...
Mark: It can't make any money. I don't know why people continue. I mean it must cost money.
Andy: I think it's heavily, heavily sponsored by Camden Count.
Mark: Camden, is it what? London's oo? Regents Park, that's not Bloody Camden.
Andy: Yeah, it's London Borough of Camden.
Mark: Regents Park?
Andy: Yes.
Mark: Regent, mate, it's the King, it's the Royal Park. It's got nothing to do with Bloody Camden.
Andy: You know, it's a 10 minute walk from Camden Town Tube station. Regents Park.
Mark: Is it really? Alright, I have to get my bearings in London again then. Camden. It's got nothing royal about it other than the pearly what's the pearly king and queen? Is that what they
Andy: early kings.
Mark: pearly king? Showing you royalty you have in Camden
Andy: Camden, my royal bar of Camden. I'll tell you what's royal there now
Mark: No, but that was a very s
Andy: is the prices of houses.
Mark: Camden, it's a popular place, is it?
Andy: My God, since the Camden market is the biggest street market in Europe now, and
Mark: Yeah.
Andy: real estate prices there are ridiculous.
Mark: Well, I mean, real estate in central London, anywhere in central London is ridiculous. I mean even
Andy: Yeah, but Camden is one of the top.
Mark: Is it?
Andy: Yeah, it's probably in the top five.
Mark: Next to Kensington, Belgravia, Highgate, Mayfair, Knightsbridge.
Andy: Cameron's Air.
Mark: no, but it was a very sad story. And yet as I say, I mean for the p for the families that were there at that zoo Wildlife Park.
Andy: Yeah.
Mark: I mean for God
Andy: Well good news
Mark: Anyway.
Andy: is that Tiger is not going to be punished for doing what comes naturally.
Mark: I should bloody hope so. that was that wasn't exactly a light hearted That wasn't exactly a lighthearted
Andy: because obviously you're going to get the people who say, well, that needs to be put down. Now, I didn't say we were doing lighthearted. I didn't say we were doing lighthearted. That was last episode.
Mark: Well, have you got a light hearted story? I I'll tell you what w is gonna wind you up.
Andy: Well, mean, apart from apart from Trump's speeches.
Mark: No, here's a here's a story that's going to wind you up. You're going to be
Andy: Go on.
Mark: able to have a good rant about this one. Andrew Windsor.
Andy: What about him? he's been knocked in the second place by Meghan Markle as the most disliked royal? Is
Mark: No.
Andy: that it?
Mark: He got I think he got one and a half million out of Charles.
Andy: for
Mark: Refurbishment work that he did on the cottage that he got kicked out of.
Andy: Well he's always been good at getting a couple of quid. There's Andrew. Do remember Fergie used to pimp him out?
Mark: Yeah, but he's normal Pimp him out. I was gonna say he normally relied on Fergie to pimp him out to various Middle Eastern
Andy: Yes, Andrew would love to have a meeting with you £50,000.
Mark: fifty, it was two hundred and fifty. When she got when she got s
Andy: Was it court of a mill to sit down with that fuck-
Mark: stung by the was it a Sun reporter? I think it was a Sun reporter.
Andy: It was probably a sun. Some report are usually dressed as an Arab sheikh.
Mark: No, it was literally something that stupid.
Andy: Yeah, no, because that's what they used to do. They used to dress up a completely white reporter as an Arab Sheikh.
Mark: Hehehehe dear. Talking of white
Andy: genius.
Mark: there are a lot of Asian people that travel these days, a lot of Chinese as there were in France, and they are very, very pale people. I I didn't realize I think it must be some fashion thing that they're they're white. It's like Victorian England.
Andy: That's always been a thing in most cultures that they have a cast system.
Mark: Not in actually in China, you might be right.
Andy: Yeah, they do. And especially in India and Pakistan.
Mark: Yeah, but they don't white themselves up like they do these people that I lots of people that I saw.
Andy: Even in Thailand, you know. Yes, I worked with a Thai girl in Mora, Mora Amateur. And she refused. One day we were doing some overtime on a Saturday and a few of us decided, because it was summertime, we were going to be finished by sort of midday one o'clock. So we'd go to the beach. can't remember the name of the place where they've got the lake. that was quite, yes,
Mark: Ting's notes. K Ting's notes.
Andy: no, not there, but it was, it doesn't matter. But we were going to go there for a couple of hours and just hang around the beach and just catch some rays. She wouldn't come because she did not under any circumstances need a suntan. Thank you very much.
Mark: Is that right? Is that literally what she said? As compared
Andy: Yep.
Mark: to most Swedish people who even in twenty twenty six go to suntanning salons.
Andy: Yes, no, she was from Thailand. She wasn't just a Swedish Thai, she was from Thailand.
Mark: Well not obviously different cultures, but it's just look, they were such they were so obvious because they were walking around the south of France where everybody's sort of olive skinned and looking, in my mind, healthy, and you had these Asian people who literally were white. Like Queen Victoria white. I don't know what got us onto that anyway. Right. What was the subject you were talking about? You did bring up no, it was me, Prince Andrew.
Andy: Yes.
Mark: Yeah. well that was a remarkably light rant. I was thinking you were gonna say he shouldn't be entitled to anything, he's a paedophile, should be thrown in jail.
Andy: Well, I mean, that goes without saying, we can't just keep harping on the same things.
Mark: Well we do. What you mean?
Andy: I know, that's... You try avoiding Trump at the moment. You can't. You can't. Because as soon
Mark: It's impossible. It's literally impossible.
Andy: as you think, haven't heard anything from Trump today, he goes on a midnight rant on his bloody ex, on his truth
Mark: Yes.
Andy: social.
Mark: here's someone who we don't talk about, which I I find almost refreshing, bearing in mind how Keir Starmer used to trigger you. and admittedly he's only been there three weeks, but you never talk about Andy Burnham.
Andy: He's a flash in the pan. know, with what's going on at the moment, everyone in England is saying, we need a snap election. We need a snap election because nobody voted for him and he's going to be ineffectual. like that, he's talking about, there's going to be something big in the budget. And now he's turned around and said, well, actually, won't be anything big. There won't be anything big until after he's doing a Trump after the next election. Then we'll do the big stuff because I'm so fed up with people who come into power saying they're going to do something big. They're going to do something big. And then they say, at the moment we are going to have to suffer and we're going to have to tighten our belts. But the good stuff will come. Give us the good stuff. We've been waiting 30 years for someone to go, you know what? You've suffered enough. Here's the good stuff. They all say the same shit time after time. no matter which party it is, it's always the same. yeah, we wanted to give you the good stuff, but we're going to have to wait just a little bit longer. Now here's a little tax increase for
Mark: Do you think they're going to increase attacks on billionaires?
Andy: No, of course not. Of course they're not. They're going to increase the tax on the working man.
Mark: I hope not.
Andy: It's the same old gameplay. I've told you this so many times, doesn't matter who's in power, they work to the same plan. It's just bullshit. That's why it's pointless voting for anyone.
Mark: No, I disagree. I hope that I hope that the new leadership causes some sort of I don't know, it's got to be some sort of move in the right direction.
Andy: Not much in the way of leadership
Mark: We'll see.
Andy: when he's been linked with the Man City financial scam.
Mark: yes. Now sorry, do you know what this sca 'cause it's big news, but I don't know anything about it. What is this Manchester City?
Andy: Okay, basically each club has got a set amount of money they're allowed to spend on players every year. And
Mark: Yes.
Andy: for at least the last 10 years, Man City have had secret offshore accounts swimming in cash that they've been using to subsidise their transfer fees. So basically what they've been doing is
Mark: I see s yeah.
Andy: fielding teams with players that essentially are not allowed to play in the premiership and they've been winning titles, more importantly, stopping other teams from progressing in the title race. So there is a big, I mean, it is a big deal. And Andy Burnham was the mayor of Liverpool or Manchester, wherever it was,
Mark: Just
Andy: when they were basically given free rein to build a football stadium on council land by the mayor.
Mark: Not too shocking.
Andy: Depends on how deeply you delve into it. What was in it for him, you have to ask.
Mark: you think he's on the take?
Andy: Definitely. 100%.
Mark: You think our current Prime Minister in the UK was on the take?
Andy: I know it's unthinkable of any politician, but yes, 100 % he got greased.
Mark: Or all right. So that was the that is the scandal that they had offshore slush funds that they were using to purchase players above and beyond their budget limit. Hm.
Andy: Yes. And also, the fact that Andy Burnham came out vocally in support of Man City when these charges were first levied is pretty damning indictment as well. Now he's...
Mark: Unless he was fooled.
Andy: he wasn't fooled. You don't have a couple of Sun reporter lookalike Arab sheikhs coming up to you with suitcases of cash and think This is legit.
Mark: How will you recognise the politician that is actually going to make change because you are so biased in your attitude towards all politicians, if Jesus landed on the planet tomorrow, you would probably start criticizing him.
Andy: First of all, name Jesus.
Mark: Exactly. That's what I mean.
Andy: You
Mark: So how would you recognize
Andy: That's a Sun reporter dressed up as a carpenter from 2000 years ago.
Mark: Whoa! God, I nearly tipped my laptop over. Got so excited. No. dear. Did you watch the Grand Prix yesterday?
Andy: I'm getting ridiculous.
Mark: Well, no, the only reason I mention it is I know you're not interested in in Formula One Racing, but who was there?
Andy: Kim Kardashian?
Mark: Yes. Kim Kardashian. Yeah I I mean I I know
Andy: lovely. Why does it, I mean, why is it important? Why does she make the news when the Formula One is on the back page?
Mark: No, it is w it w Formula One wasn't on the back page. It was it wasn't a particularly exciting race. It was alright. But I just as I say, I've said it before, I'll say it again. Unfortunately, my opinion of Lewis Hamilton has suffered as a result of his association with Kim Kardashian.
Andy: Yeah, and that's because of your perceived opinion of Kim Kardashian through her social media interactions over the last, 20 years?
Mark: No, you're right, absolutely. I mean I'm not a social media person, but anybody
Andy: But you can't avoid that.
Mark: No no no, you can't, you're right. And and certain things, one can't you're you're right, you literally can't avoid it. So of course I formed an opinion of the whole of the Kardashian brigade. i i if you were measuring people's success based on money, obviously they're very, very successful. But on what other metrics could you use other than money?
Andy: There is none. They're not family of
Mark: I mean huh.
Andy: talented actresses or singers.
Mark: The th the thing was, the thing that got me was that so she's she's walking around the pit lane, she's in the garage, and she's his girlfriend, so of course she's going to be. But it was like she was made up to the stars in some really clingy dress.
Andy: Which, to be honest...
Mark: It was sort of like look at me I mean of course it's look at me. I mean again me being ridiculously naive, of course it's look at me.
Andy: She's got one of those inflated butt holes that... It's more of a freak show than anything attractive or sexy. It's just horrible
Mark: No, but th that that's that
Andy: to look at.
Mark: doesn't she have a normal mode? She was there to support Lewis. Not to be the star of the show. No no
Andy: She wasn't, she was there to get her picture in the papers.
Mark: no exactly, but at what point is she making breakfast in the morning looking like that?
Andy: Don't be ridiculous. No, she's never made breakfast in her life. She wouldn't even know how to boil an egg. If their
Mark: You might
Andy: staff died, she would die of starvation. It would take a while
Mark: That's it.
Andy: because there's a bit of meat on them bones, but she would eventually die of starvation.
Mark: No anyway, so you know, it's just it's I just I dunno. I mean obviously there there must I mean Lewis Hamilton's had some pretty damn good girlfriends in the past. There must be something. I think he thinks that she's a good influence on him in terms of decision making and such like. I I saw
Andy: Based on what?
Mark: no but I saw a video of him saying and I just assumed it was AI, but now I'm not so sure. When she was recommending not to accept an offer from Red Bull, and to accept a lower cash amount from Ferrari. And I thought, Well what it's just but No. No, well it it wasn't. It
Andy: What the hell would she know about motor racing? That'd be like him coming phoning me up and going, all right, and I've had this offer from Red Bull. I just wanted to chew it out with you and see what your opinion is.
Mark: No, but it wasn't it wasn't a motor racing issue, it was a business, it was a financial issue. And she
Andy: like she's ever made a financial decision herself in her life.
Mark: Well you she might be quite an astute business person, that's for sure.
Andy: No, her mother is the astute one. She's the one who pimped
Mark: Which is her mother.
Andy: out all the children.
Mark: What's the mother's name?
Andy: I can't remember her name.
Mark: What's the father's name?
Andy: Caitlyn.
Mark: So the father is the now trans not now but
Andy: no, hang on, her father was actually the lawyer fellow who defended OJ Simpson. He died.
Mark: Right. Who's the who's the transgender one?
Andy: Caitlin was the second husband. He's the stepfather.
Mark: The stepfather is the one that's now a woman.
Andy: Yeah.
Mark: And he was an athlete.
Andy: Yeah, Bruce Jenner. I think he was a triathlete. Now he's had a piece taken off, he's just a biathlete, I guess. You
Mark: God's sake. No, but you know, it's I s as I say, I I'm just you know, I mean it's sixty five year old white male heterosexual, what do you expect of me, really? But I just don't get it. I don't understand it.
Andy: I'm glad I don't understand it. I don't want to understand it. There is one story in the current bun that caught my eye and I can't read the whole story because it's behind a paywall and I refuse. But the headline was brilliant and it's a picture of this guy doing sad face. And it's the headline is I had piles then gangrene set in and my scrotum swelled to the size of a melon.
Mark: my God.
Andy: I've never been tempted to buy the sun before but hopefully
Mark: Now you are.
Andy: there'll be photos, I don't know.
Mark: Have you ever I don't think we need to discuss but have you ever had piles? They're bloody painful. You've never had piles in all your life.
Andy: No, I haven't, no. No. No.
Mark: Really? Well you're lucky. Most people do at some stage.
Andy: I know I remember my mate Scouse Mick talking about it when we were 30. And I was like, I thought Pals
Mark: Yeah, you can get you get
Andy: was like an older.
Mark: No. Pregnant women get piles. All sorts of things. but my scrotum swelled up to the size of a melon. So when it got I was gonna
Andy: I mean, I'd like to know if it was a honey melon or a watermelon.
Mark: say, so when it got to the size of an apple, no, can't be bothered to do anything. And then it got to the size of a grapefruit, no, we'll leave it a little bit longer.
Andy: Yeah, I'll wait until it gets to a million. Then I'll see if I can flog me nuts to the sun.
Mark: I mean, you know, I I I can sort of understand that people are embarrassed to go to the doctor, but when your balls are the size of a grapefruit, I think that is a signal that you need some medical attention.
Andy: Well I mean, when you have to get into an Uber just to go to the shops, the corner shop to pick up the current bun, then you definitely need to go and see a doctor. I mean, the size of a melon.
Mark: that that that reminds me of a Louis Thoreau program where they were in America and this woman lived in LA and she used to drive to her her letterbox which was tw thirty meters down the drive.
Andy: What? right, okay, down the end of the drive.
Mark: She used to drive to the end of the drive to pick up her mail. And it was literally thirty me it wasn't like half a kilometre or something,
Andy: Mm.
Mark: it was a short drive. dear. So I thought you did pay for the current bun.
Andy: No. No.
Mark: So you get to see the headline but you can't get into the story behind.
Andy: I mean, there are some stories, like the headline stories are generally not behind the paywall. It's usually the fashion stuff and the music stuff and there'll be the odd story. Gossip is always behind the paywall. Now they've put, of
Mark: So
Andy: course, now they've put the problem page behind the paywall, which really pisses me off.
Mark: Deirdre.
Andy: Yeah, dear Deirdre, now it costs money. But
Mark: that worked.
Andy: they throw you a teaser a couple of times a week. They do read today for free, so.
Mark: well can you can you can you People's problems must have been solved multiple times with dear dear Dre.
Andy: Dear Deirdre is not Dear Deirdre anymore. She's been replaced so many times.
Mark: She's died. huh.
Andy: But today's one was quite amusing that I could read.
Mark: you can actually see it.
Andy: Yeah, sex with my wife has become so frustrating because I finish fast and I feel pain.
Mark: I've finished force and it's painful.
Andy: Yeah.
Mark: And what was the response? What was the advice?
Andy: Well, didn't read the advice. I just want to make sure that someone else's life
Mark: Of course.
Andy: is shittier than mine. That's all I'm interested in.
Mark: That's literally Did you did you did you send in a response how fast, mate, and how painful?
Andy: Well, I can tell you it's like two seconds and it's painful because he says that he can't pull his foreskin back over his knob end anymore. And this, yeah,
Mark: Anymore.
Andy: he to, used to, didn't have a problem until that second child was born. So I
Mark: Wha why did that affect his Willie?
Andy: think it's psychosomatic. I mean, I could do deodeidry. It's obviously that The stress of waking up with two young children all through the night has given him performance anxiety and he knows he needs to finish quickly because any minute now the baby monitor can go off.
Mark: yes, good well done, Andy. That's right.
Andy: So he's talked his body into going, thank you very much. Pump two, three, four, done. Was that good for you, baby?
Mark: That's what we should do, Andy. We should we should start doing a p a pr problem page.
Andy: Not really. Yeah, no.
Mark: Not really.
Andy: Ow, ow, ow, ooh, before skin. Ow.
Mark: Dear Andy More problems.
Andy: I used to have a, I used to have a mate, another Andy, who used to come round me house quite often. And he used to love the Deer Deer Dree. So he would read the problems out and I would give the solution and we would laugh for hours.
Mark: I mean it's just I mean I I don't know, why would you write Well I suppose if you haven't got yeah if you haven't got people you can conv No exactly.
Andy: You're not going to ask your mates, you, in the pub? Yeah, by the way lads, I'll get me nuts off in about two and a half seconds. Wouldn't that be the end of the sentence and the end of the conversation? Because the others would be laughing so hard on the floor, texting on their phones and
Mark: You're right.
Andy: telling their wives about your lack of performance.
Mark: Two seconds.
Andy: you
Mark: Nobody can only last two seconds. I suppose you can actually.
Andy: I will click on this and double check. I'm 32, my wife is 33, we've been together five years and have a little girl who's three and a son who's just turned one. Blah de blah de blah de blah. My wife tries to reassure me, saying it doesn't matter but it's on my mind every single day. Blah de blah de blah. Come on, have I missed it? It's become frustrating because I finish so fast. I'm starting to wonder if there's any point to it. Now he doesn't say two seconds, but you know.
Mark: You're reading two seconds into it.
Andy: Between the lines, I'm saying it's pretty damn quick. I mean, we're talking Grand Prix.
Mark: That's two hours.
Andy: I'm talking Grand Prix speeds.
Mark: right. dear. I've never I I have never Well in fact actually that that's a p indictment of my generation our generation. I don't think I've ever asked advice of anybody.
Andy: No, you wouldn't.
Mark: I literally I don't think I've ever asked advice of anybody. I talk, obviously.
Andy: No, this is another symptom of the technical age that we live in where your whole life has to be on Facebook. Because unless you're contributing to the nonsense that's out there, you're invisible. So people feel the need to share everything.
Mark: Well as I say, even that website Brits in Sweden, you know, where English people living abroad, it is incredible what people ask advice about on a public forum.
Andy: Yeah. Yeah, I mean, there are certain websites, especially people who are into like alternative medicines and things, and they have these forums and
Mark: Yeah.
Andy: some of the dangerous advice that they're given is incredible. There's one woman said, my baby is got severe colic and I'm wondering how many drops of arsenic I can give her. It's like... It's literally stuff like that. you think, what? Where are you getting your medical advice from? And it's obviously from the local witches.
Mark: talking about arsenic very quickly, did I mention I started watching the new production of East of Eden on Netflix?
Andy: Yes. Yes.
Mark: Just telling our listeners, that is the most depressing series I've sat th admittedly I sat through all of them, but like what were they thinking? There was no there was not a single episode that had anything happy happening it.
Andy: Well you know what I've been
Mark: What?
Andy: trying to watch, because I never did in the 90s, because I was out. And that's the X-Files. They've released a whole lot on Amazon Prime.
Mark: with with Anderson.
Andy: Yeah, and Mulder, Duchovny, David Duchovny. They've released
Mark: Dukovnik. Yeah.
Andy: a whole lot on Amazon Prime. So I started series one, episode one, and I have to say the special effects are dire. And the acting. It's awful. Yes,
Mark: no.
Andy: honestly, it's terrible.
Mark: Anderson, she's an absolute star actress.
Andy: She's not, she's got one facial expression.
Mark: No.
Andy: She looks like she invented Botox. She literally doesn't move her face. Never seen her smile.
Mark: Do you know I can't I can't remember I can't remember much about the X-Files, but I do remember one scene that has stuck in my mind, and they were they were they had problems with a drainage system or something, and they were underground, and there was a part of the tube, this big drainage tube that was made of glass, so you could see all the shit going through it. And at one stage, if you can imagine. a male mermaid but obvious
Andy: Yeah. It's like a fish with a dick.
Mark: you didn't see the dig and it was the express as this tube this this sort of male mermaid was sucked through this tube and the expression of sort of shock and horror that was obviously permanently on this f face as he was being circulated around this drainage system. And that I mean if you come across the episode, tell me which one it is, and then I'll re watch it to try and get it out of my system by watching it again. It was very good viewing. Come on, y
Andy: I I thought, I thought bearing in mind that we do a podcast on strange, weird and wonderful stuff that I should really have that as part of my background information. But
Mark: You should do.
Andy: I'm finding it kind of tough going because it is quite tough to watch. But it has inspired me for our Thursday episode, which is going to be kind of weird and strange and a bit disturbing.
Mark: Sorry, what is her name? It's not a Kate Anderson, is it?
Andy: Gillian.
Mark: Jillian Anderson. She's done some really good stuff. Sex education, all of the Yeah. Is she really? Alright.
Andy: Gillian with a G. She's English, you know. Yeah.
Mark: Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Alright, my watch is telling me it's time to stand up, Andy.
Andy: Er, okay, I think we've covered enough nonsense this week for speaking shite.
Mark: I think we've had quite a good a quite a good range of subjects from the dire state of American politics with Trump to Gillian Anderson. That's a good way to finish.
Andy: and being half eaten by a tiger in the middle.
Mark: Yeah, that's not so nice. Yeah. Alright.
Andy: Yeah well anyway that brings us to the end of this episode. I think we're on episode 8 of this speaking shite now.
Mark: Yep. All right. Good, excellent.
Andy: So we've been going a couple of months. Haven't had any complaints so we'll keep going.
Mark: Which is positive. Is that the measure? If we don't have any complaints.
Andy: Yeah, well, you know, I've yeah, technically that is it. So thanks for listening. Hope you found
Mark: Yeah. Yeah. Yep.
Andy: that entertaining and we'll see you. Well, today will be Wednesday when you listen to this, hopefully. So we'll see you on Sunday with the next episode of Strange Stuff podcast. In the meantime, have yourself
Mark: Excellent.
Andy: a week. Go out and make some news, make it funny so we can talk about it. or make it serious so we can talk about it. It doesn't really matter. Either way,
Mark: Very good.
Andy: we'll see you next time. Bye for now.
Mark: Cheerio.
Mark: And I'm Mark.
Andy: here we are speaking shite.
Mark: is that what it is today? So I should have prepared something, you mean?
Andy: God, it's working with amateurs. When, when, will I be discovered?
Mark: I mean, you know, what was funny in the news this week actually, I don't know if you remember, about a month ago or so I was talking about a woman who was standing in the background at in the Oval Office behind Trump
Andy: yes.
Mark: who looked and I d as I said at the time, I don't normally comment on how people look, but she looked like she was an alien.
Andy: I know who you mean now because she went viral.
Mark: Yeah, exactly. She went viral. So I was at least two weeks ahead of the news cycle. Yes,
Andy: married to the head of Dell computers.
Mark: married to the hell of Del Dell Computers. But what is so bizarre with all of these people that surround Trump, she used to be y she was a pretty normal looking person. I mean she was a pretty woman. What the hell has she done to herself?
Andy: Yeah, they sculpt them. I don't think she's done it to herself. I think she's been sculpted. I think these fucking billionaires have got nothing better to do than just try and use their in-built... I mean, look at Donald Trump. He probably thinks he could redesign the perfect woman because he knows how to do everything. And I think this is what they're doing. They're taking these perfectly good women and they're ruining...
Mark: It can't literally
Andy: I mean, she looks like a man in drag.
Mark: She looks like she's been standing two metres from a nuclear blast and just wha It's like, what happened
Andy: Yeah, it's awful.
Mark: to her? I couldn't believe it when I found out she was the the wife of Dell Computers.
Andy: It's terrible.
Mark: Anyway, you know, as I say, I don't I don't like to comment on on what people look like, but to be honest with the Trump administration, all my normal morals and just get thrown out the window.
Andy: Well, I mean, you've seen he's got a new press secretary from Fox News, another one. And she looks
Mark: Yes, yes.
Andy: exactly the same as the last one, with the blonde hair and the makeup and the Barbie doll, because...
Mark: Wha why? Why are they willing to do it? Is it literally their fifteen minutes of fame?
Andy: They are prostitutes. They are literally prostitutes. They're looking for, they know, they must know that he's the most hated man on the planet. They must be offered so much money and they just must look at it as some kind of early retirement plan. Or
Mark: Clearly.
Andy: they actually think that sucking on the presidential teat, no matter who is the president, is a good thing.
Mark: I I don't know, as I said as I said last week or whenever it was, I I feel that they're they're real cracks appearing now. with the Republican Party itself and their relationship to Trump. They have to see that he is not an asset to the Republican Party. Well,
Andy: Well, he is an asset, but he's a Russian asset.
Mark: yes. I mean, you know, it was three weeks ago that Trump was saying, anybody who trades oil with Russia, we will impose sanctions.
Andy: Yeah.
Mark: Three weeks later, he's buying oil from Russia.
Andy: I've done a great deal. I've done a fantastic, the best deal ever. And I mean, it's not a great deal. Apparently in the space of a month, you'll get enough diesel to run the country for about 12 hours.
Mark: literally I think it's a quarter of a per cent of their diesel consumption. Through with yeah. Yes, exactly. You have to
Andy: And that's if Putin even comes through, because Putin's probably sitting there going, guess what I did today?
Mark: Exactly. You have to pay up front, Mr Trump. You pay up front, we will deliver the oil. Exactly.
Andy: Yeah, where is the cash? First is where is the cash?
Mark: But you know, he Well, the administration Trump must be so desperate for some good news. But he's willing to do anything 'cause it's only four weeks away now, these midterm elections.
Andy: I know and I mean we can look at this as a kind of countdown now because something is going to happen. He's got to try and get these midterms stopped because there's not a chance in hell that he's going to win.
Mark: I think he's already started deploying National Guard to various because I think they can start voting now. I d I don't think you it's like it in Sweden. I think it's a few weeks in advance you can start voting.
Andy: Yeah maybe, I don't know, but you will get the diehards who want to turn up on the day. Especially the ones who want to make a point.
Mark: I was I mean, you know, his his poll figures are are obviously very low. I think he's down to thirty percent or maybe maybe even less thirty less than thirty percent approval. But what is absolutely staggering is that a third, effectively, of people approve what he's doing. Good man. What
Andy: Yeah, but there's probably a third of people who just watch Fox News and don't actually know what's happening in the real world.
Mark: Well, clearly. Well it is that's it's a very good point. It's just indicative of how removed from reality so many of the population are, it seems.
Andy: Yeah, mean, whenever he pops up a lot on my feed as I'm doom scrolling,
Mark: Yeah.
Andy: you know, with his latest wisdom words that
Mark: Yeah.
Andy: he typed, do you know what? He's still going on about the Nobel Peace Prize and he's mad as hell that America, with me as the president, was not presented with the Nobel Peace Prize and he spells it noble. He can't even
Mark: does it?
Andy: spell the Nobel Peace Prize that he
Mark: Yeah.
Andy: insists he is not only deserving of, he should win every year.
Mark: It was a shame that they they chose a very diplomatic candidate or winner in that it was some lady who worked for the UN for several years. I'm sure she's very deserving of it. But I I
Andy: I'm sorry, it shouldn't have gone anywhere near Sam. I have a friend in South Africa who's a businessman.
Mark: Is she i is she South African?
Andy: I have a friend in South Africa who's a businessman I speak to quite regularly. And he was saying that last week some...
Mark: There was something happened last week in South Africa. Riots or something.
Andy: Well, it happened actually in Washington because they put up 3000 white crosses on the lawn outside the White House. And that was one
Mark: yes.
Andy: to represent each farmer who's been murdered in South Africa and their lands have been stolen off them.
Mark: yeah, but that that was based on the falsehood of the original Three Thousand White Crosses that in fact was a memorial in South Africa which didn't relate to white farmers at all. It was everybody that had been killed.
Andy: No, this is specifically about white farmers. He was telling me he's terrified because apparently the government now can just say you don't live there anymore. It's not your house anymore. This is not your business anymore. He's terrified of losing his business. And I said to him, why don't you just get out? He said, it's not that easy. I can't just leave. He said, I've got a business.
Mark: What is what is really stupid is that they need successful agricultural businesses in South Africa and unfortunately generally speaking when these things are repossessed or not repossessed
Andy: they're not run properly.
Mark: they're not run properly and that's that that is the real you know One can argue the merits or injustices relating to who controls the farming land in South Africa, but they need to produce food.
Andy: Well, generally the people who are farmers should be controlling the farming land.
Mark: Mm.
Andy: Not the people who are farm workers, because they just don't understand the intricacies of running a farm. I mean, look at Clarkson's farm. Without his little ginger sidekick, there
Mark: Caleb.
Andy: would be nothing growing there. know, Clarkson is not a farmer.
Mark: I didn't see it but there was actually a farmer commenting on Clarkson as a farmer, and in fact I think it was generally positive only to the extent that Clarkson had brought a lot of issues to head using his celebrity status.
Andy: Yeah, yeah, sure. He's made awareness. He's given awareness.
Mark: But I I can't I I don't know if it's true, but it's certainly speculated that Clarkson was one of the people that bought a farm specifically to avoid income tax not income tax, inheritance tax.
Andy: Possibly.
Mark: I mean, you know, it's the sort of thing he would do.
Andy: yeah.
Mark: And he bought a farm.
Andy: Tax avoidance is tax avoidance. doesn't matter where it comes from.
Mark: I never remember tax avoidance is legal, tax evasion is illegal.
Andy: Yes.
Mark: Because there was something about Abramovich. You know the Chelsea man?
Andy: Yeah, he was an evader. The avoidance is when you sidestep the taxman. The evasion is when you jump out of way.
Mark: well yes, when you lie about it. But wasn't it funny, were you living in London when when he was in London? Because I
Andy: Yes, I think so.
Mark: was living in London when when he was around. I think I was there when he bought Chelsea, I can't remember when it was. And for some bizarre reason, I just assumed But he was one of the good guys because, you know, why would they allow
Andy: There's no such thing.
Mark: any criminal to buy a Chelsea football club or own
Andy: One of the qualifications to become an oligarch is to have murdered all your competition.
Mark: Well no, but this is why I th I can't believe well, you c you can. I can't believe why I was so naive in this respect. He was a Russian oligarch, full stop, he was a criminal, and that was all there was to it. But I saw him as well if he's living and operating in London in plain sight of everybody, he must be one of the good guys. And in fact he wasn't. He was just like all the rest.
Andy: Yes, they say crime doesn't pay, but it actually does.
Mark: Well a Russian crime certainly does.
Andy: Well, British crime as well.
Mark: yeah, I suppose so. I mean d d do they still have big crime families in England? Are they still are they still a thing?
Andy: Yes, they do. Yes, they do. And yes, they are.
Mark: Really?
Andy: We speak about them sometimes on the murdery bits, me and Richard.
Mark: what the actual f families or
Andy: Yeah.
Mark: in general are really.
Andy: Yeah, individual families have come up.
Mark: Really? That's a bit risky. What about if they don't like the publicity of appearing on a podcast?
Andy: With our audience on Murdery Bits, I'm not sure you could call it publicity.
Mark: There's too much to worry about. No, but isn't it funny how you can just be completely oblivious to what is blatantly obvious? So in a way it's what I'm describing a situation of myself and in fact it probably applies to what we were talking about before Trump supporters in America. They're just oblivious to what is patently obvious.
Andy: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they could stand in front of Trump and they wouldn't smell the coffee or the shit in his pants.
Mark: No.
Andy: They would just listen to the honeyed nonsense coming out of his mouth about how great and wonderful and best of everything everything is. And they just
Mark: Yeah. Yeah.
Andy: go, we're winning. We're winning.
Mark: Yes, and believe it. Anyway, we don't need to dwell on crime families. What what other so I picked on that news story that went viral that I was two weeks ahead of with that poor woman who looks completely shocking or shocked actually. She looks shocked the whole time. what else is going on in the world? We've touched on
Andy: Whoa.
Mark: the Trump oil thing, the reversal within three weeks. What else?
Andy: Well, his son is being investigated now for insider trading. Trump's. Yeah, because apparently
Mark: Whose son? What Baron? The illegal immigrant?
Andy: he made 150 million fucking dollars. whoever it is, Securities Commission, whatever, they're going, we're
Mark: Yeah. S E C yeah.
Andy: not having this. So apparently he's being investigated. So it'll be interesting to see what happens with that.
Mark: Nothing. It's it will t Trump will turn into it's a witch hunt. They failed to
Andy: Also...
Mark: go after me, they're going after my children.
Andy: also in America. The woman who they executed twice has been released and sent back
Mark: yes, it's back in prison. Yeah.
Andy: to prison, which I find astounding, to be honest. I find it astounding. They need to let her go.
Mark: Wasn't it? Is is is this an urban myth? Or is it true that if you if the execution fails three times, then you're free to go? It used to be part of the electric chair. If the if the electric chair fused or blew a fuse three times, then that was it. You were able to go home.
Andy: I don't think there was ever any set rules, but certainly in the days of the Wild West, if you were hung...
Mark: W how can you survive a hanging? They just wait there until you die.
Andy: No, when you hang and your neck's to break, when you do a drop,
Mark: All right.
Andy: if you survive that, basically the sentence has been carried out.
Mark: 'cause you have been No, no, no, no, no, no. I remember in the f what what films I've seen, the judge always says, You shall be hanged until you are dead
Andy: no, that's only a movie thing I believe.
Mark: Really? Hmm.
Andy: But I don't know. I mean, I never saw her hanging. Talking of which, we can't leave Trump madness until we got on about this live streaming execution nonsense that they're talking about bringing out.
Mark: Yes, and I made a mistake actually. I can't I think I was talking to you about it and I said he was a spy. He wasn't a spy. He actually went on a shooting rampage. Yeah, exactly.
Andy: No, no, no, he was a shooter.
Mark: You don't think it's got
Andy: Yeah.
Mark: anything to do with his surname being Hassan that they want to live stream the ex
Andy: It's got a lot to do with that. It's got a lot to do with that. I think that... What they're doing is basically advertising the US as the new caliphate. Because if
Mark: Christian caliphate.
Andy: you're willing to live stream executions, are you not the Taliban?
Mark: No, but this is this someone made this point, d do you remember it was absolutely vile, but do you remember when the Taliban was I don't know if it was live streaming, but it was actually they they released videos of them behe beheading beheading
Andy: They were putting up beheading videos.
Mark: it happened to be an English soldier, as I recall, Bigley or something his name was.
Andy: They did a few of them.
Mark: Did they did a few of them. And we were all th
Andy: Mmm.
Mark: why you'd want to watch it God only knows, but it was just absolutely repulsive. And what's the difference? Well no I wouldn't watch.
Andy: I never watched one. I never watched one. And I won't watch anything live streamed by Trump TV.
Mark: No. I wonder right, put a number.
Andy: And it's, if they do it, a number.
Mark: Put a number on the number of people that are I don't think it's gonna happen. If it does happen, how many people in America do you think would watch a live stream of a man being executed?
Andy: millions. But I wonder, and the guy's in a wheelchair, he's a paraplegic, so
Mark: Is it?
Andy: yeah, so the chances are...
Mark: because of his injuries when they sh finally caught him?
Andy: Yeah, when they finally shot him in the... Yeah. But the thing is, being American soldiers, no offence, but you're going to miss some of you. Even though he's sitting in a wheelchair and unable to get out of the way, I know that there'll be bullets in the wall behind him. Now, what if he survives
Mark: well in fact
Andy: this shooting? Now, the soldiers themselves... if they've got any self-respect, will refuse to take part in a televised event where they're seen shooting someone to death.
Mark: Well, in fact th that's interesting you say that because that was the latest update I read that any number of soldiers I can't remember the exact number, but there's a lot of soldiers are refusing to be part of a televised firing squad and they were saying, Do I want my child at some stage in the future watching dad shoot someone dead?
Andy: shoot a man in a wheelchair.
Mark: Exactly. So luckily I think
Andy: How are you any better?
Mark: Yeah. Yeah.
Andy: It's just fucking ridiculous.
Mark: well that's Heg Seth for you.
Andy: That also, also, this is proof for me, with that that I didn't need, that the Americans never ever laid eyes on Osama bin Laden because if they're willing to televise a live execution of a guy who shot some soldiers, why the hell would they not televise how they shot bin Laden?
Mark: Sorry, what? You think Bin Laden's still alive? yeah, sorry, I know this
Andy: You know this. We've had this discussion.
Mark: i th th your conspiracy theory is that he never died.
Andy: Yes, they never found him. Allegedly they found him, they killed him and they got rid of the body at sea before because it's in the Muslim tradition that they must be buried as soon as possible. So they wanted to respect that. And they never showed any photos, any videos, never happened. Why? It's a lie. That's why it never happened.
Mark: So where is he?
Andy: It is on an island with Elvis and Hitler. And Jeffrey. No, listen,
Mark: Exactly. Exactly.
Andy: it's quite easy for an Arab to disappear, I would imagine. Just put a different coloured sheet on and move to another part of Arabia.
Mark: what about Saddam Hussein? Do you think he's still alive? They found him in a hole somewhere.
Andy: Probably not, I think he actually got caught. And there was video of him being basically ripped apart by his own soldiers, I think.
Mark: No, no, no, no, no. He was caught in a hole by American soldiers. He'd literally crawled into a hole somewhere.
Andy: But yeah, I never bought this, no, we're not going to show that, we're not going to show, it's disrespectful. Fuck off. Are you telling me that someone who allegedly killed 3,000 odd Americans live on TV, you're not going to show a picture of his dead body? I don't believe that for a second.
Mark: What was the conclusion with nine eleven? Was it an inside job? What's your feeling on that? Well 'cause I don't wanna say it, but
Andy: They're never going to say that, are they? But mean, yes, it was an inside job. Of course it was an inside job. I mean, it was proved beyond any doubt that if a plane had actually crashed into the Pentagon, as claimed, it would have had to be skimming six feet off the ground and hit it head on. then, yeah,
Mark: But it didn't hit the Pentagon.
Andy: yeah, because there was three planes that actually connected allegedly. And yes.
Mark: Well no, I thought they crashed before they got there.
Andy: No, no, no. And like there was not one piece of debris left. Not one piece of aeroplane debris left because of the intense heat of the explosions, etc. But luckily they found a passport.
Mark: Passport of what? The pilot?
Andy: One of the terrorists, Mohammed Al Hussein Hababi, luckily his passport survived, whereas everything else was incinerated and turned to dust. That was very fortuitous. They brought
Mark: Twenty five years ago.
Andy: out the passport business in the debris at the World Trade Center as well. we found passports. Terrorist passports. Fuck off. How stupid do they think people are?
Mark: Mm, I don't know. I'm not
Andy: Well, actually that's a stupid question because just look at what's happening now. People are obviously pretty stupid.
Mark: Yeah, well what is really sad is clearly that's the intention to keep people stupid.
Andy: Well, yeah, I mean, that goes beyond anything that the government's doing directly. That goes down into education and lack of education and what's happening with our schools.
Mark: If you wanted to improve the educational standards of most children in your country, would you appoint a World Wrestling Federation person to take over the schools?
Andy: Do you know Sweden have actually done something that I will applaud. Yes. Sweden
Mark: Applaud. good. Something positive. Well done, Andy. Let's hear. Da da da da da
Andy: have decided now Sweden in 2004 or by 2004 had introduced laptops to all their students. They're going back to pen and paper. Well done Sweden.
Mark: yes. I b I know this. That's right, I know. I think I don't think this is new news. But you're absolutely right. I think it was Finland who started the trend. and in fact it wasn't just laptops, they were given iPads.
Andy: iPads as well.
Mark: Yeah, exactly. And now rightly so they're reverting back to pen and paper.
Andy: Yeah, because if you type something on a screen, you don't take it in, you don't think about it, you just type it in. But if you're writing something, you're looking at it the whole time. And you can think about it, you make adjustments, you change something. When you're typing, it's just so cold and clinical. And you don't learn anything, I don't think.
Mark: well I was going to say the simple act of your brain writing something on a piece of paper is another method, it's another prompt for your memory.
Andy: Yeah.
Mark: So you I think you're absolutely right. You definitely learn more if you are forced to take notes in a with a pen and paper rather than just because these days, I'm sure, a lot of the kids d don't they just sort of record the lecture and they get given a
Andy: They get given a Cripshee at the end.
Mark: not a crib sheet, when you get all of the words that are spoken. What's that? Script. No, it's
Andy: transcript.
Mark: transcript, thank you, transcript. And so they d literally
Andy: It's awful.
Mark: didn't have to do anything. They could be watching YouTube at the lecture.
Andy: It's awful because I mean, you can see when you look in through anything online and you go into the comments section and you come to the grammar of these are fully grown up people who can't spell simple words. And you think Jesus, you should never have been allowed a screen because Until you've written for years using a pen and paper, your grammar will be awful. And it needs to be pointed out and corrected. And you can't do that with a screen.
Mark: people don't care. they have this crazy idea that as long as you're understood, what's the problem?
Andy: Whoever decided that the phonetic way of learning was a good idea should be hung.
Mark: How well did you do in school?
Andy: Very well. In English, definitely.
Mark: No, but generally how worked did you get to A levels a degree? I can't you didn't go to univers
Andy: I didn't know I did my O levels and then I went, I think seven,
Mark: How many did you get? All right.
Andy: and I went back to do a degree in computer programming a couple of years later after an access course because I didn't have A levels. I
Mark: And and
Andy: did very well until I got my grant money one time and took a holiday in Greece and didn't come back.
Mark: Is that what you did? You literally you were one of those scammers.
Andy: Yeah. Yes. You
Mark: Nice. Is that literally what you did, Andy? You got your three thousand three hundred cheque or whatever it was a year. A grant. Literally they gave you the money and you disappeared
Andy: Yeah, yes, they gave it to me.
Mark: off to Greece and never came back. No no no, but I mean
Andy: Well, I did come back, but I didn't go back to school. Which was
Mark: What were you thinking?
Andy: it was the best way to use that money because when I was doing my programming it was all COBOL and Pascal and BASIC, they were all dead languages. Yeah.
Mark: Now. Yeah, but if if you had learnt the basics you might have been more a you might have been a successful you would have been a good gamer programmer developer sort of person.
Andy: My heart wasn't in it. Once I had hit the beaches in Greece I realised that my calling lay in the middle of Europe.
Mark: Mm. No, 'cause I did disastrously at school.
Andy: I didn't enjoy school.
Mark: no no I didn't really enjoy school.
Andy: I think now I would. I think there's an argument that we should start our kids working as early as possible and send them to school when they're 25.
Mark: You know you know when people always and it may just be my circumstances because I always I'm doing practical things all the time. But you know when they say in maths you learn at school you never use it in the rest of your life? Well it's not, I use my maths all the time. I was using
Andy: D
Mark: trigonometry yesterday in
Andy: Really?
Mark: the garage.
Andy: To do what?
Mark: Well when I was just measuring up for dimensions and such like, I use I don't use algebra much. And I certainly don't use calculus or anything that sophisticated, but just the basic stuff that everyone should know. I use it all the time.
Andy: Well, I mean, I did use algebra quite a lot in the 90s. I'd phone someone go, I need a bag of X and I'll meet you at Y, Z and we'll sort out the equation with the paperwork at the other end.
Mark: Yeah, exactly, exactly. No, but I mean I I did very badly at school you know, in defence in my defence, it became obvious in later life that I was absolutely dyslexic. But I remember I might have mentioned it before, I remember just before the O levels you were supposed to choose what you were going to do for your A levels. It was assumed you'd go
Andy: Yes.
Mark: on to sixth form. And I remember speaking to my physics teacher and I said, his name wasn't Baker, he was my biology teacher. I can't remember the name of my physics teacher. I said, Mr. Butler, I'm I'm thinking of doing physics
Andy: I love you, Butler.
Mark: doing physics A level and he literally laughed.
Andy: You
Mark: He literally laughed. He thought I was so stupid that it was ridiculous to consider doing physics A le A level.
Andy: I miss those days when teachers would openly mock children.
Mark: Yes, yeah, yeah. And then I got I got I I got a B in my O level. I got an A in maths, I've got a B in physics. I only got four O levels. I never passed English.
Andy: English was my strong subject.
Mark: Have you ever written anything?
Andy: I did a bit of kiting in the time.
Mark: No, but have you done your memoirs, Andy?
Andy: I've forgotten most of it. Most of it
Mark: Yeah, exactly.
Andy: was disappeared by the next morning to be honest. I hear stories about myself but I don't remember doing it.
Mark: No, because my daughter asked me the other day I should start writing down some of these old family stories 'cause I've got quite a interesting family history and of course it will all be lost within a couple of generations or and when I die, Izzy and Alex won't know anything about you know
Andy: precious.
Mark: no, exact you know, things like that, you know because as I say, my grandparents actually had quite interesting lives. And it's nice to have some sort of grounding in where you came from. Anyway, I don't know what got us on to education subject. yes, it was me. World World World Wrestling Emporium
Andy: Yeah.
Mark: or whatever she was is
Andy: Well, let's go on to sort of recent news.
Mark: And that is
Andy: Man in Yorkshire who jumped into the Tigering.
Mark: These sad stories.
Andy: I mean...
Mark: I mean what why would you why would you choose to make such a spectacle of wanting to kill yourself?
Andy: I don't think the idea was that he was going to die because apparently, depending on where you read, while he was being, and I quote this from
Mark: Mould
Andy: a radio presenter, while he was grappling with the tiger, he was heard to say no five times. Like, I think he got into play with them.
Mark: we don't know the details, but one
Andy: I know, but, you know, and I'm sure that the words mental health will come into this story at some point.
Mark: Well, quite rightly. I mean anybody who jumps into a bloody lion's I mean, what is that's the definition of mental health issues. If you jump into a lion's den
Andy: But one of the zookeepers said that the lion's intention wasn't to kill him because if he wanted to kill him he would have been dead in the first five seconds.
Mark: Yeah.
Andy: The lion was actually being playful.
Mark: Uh-huh. Hm. Anyway. I went to it was it a tiger? Hmm.
Andy: And not rely on the tiger. Of course. Yeah.
Mark: I must admit, w I don't know what your feeling is on on on captive animals full stop, it's all a bit
Andy: You know, there are more tigers in captivity than there are in the wild. And that is
Mark: Mm. S
Andy: a depressing thought.
Mark: What I was gonna say, is that an argument for conservation or is it an argument what the hell are we doing, sort of thing?
Andy: Well, and the worst of that is that when I say in private ownership, I don't necessarily mean zoos and safari parks. We're talking about private ownership as well.
Mark: I wouldn't be surprised if Kim Kardashian has a tiger somewhere.
Andy: Well, Mike Tyson used to have a white tiger, Siberian tiger. Yeah.
Mark: Did he?
Andy: And he's not the only one. There was, it was a thing in Hollywood at one time in LA to walk around with your Siberian on a leash.
Mark: What in public?
Andy: Yeah.
Mark: Ye no that's an urban myth.
Andy: That.
Mark: Mike Tyson used to walk around Hollywood with a white tiger on his on a leash.
Andy: I wouldn't... Who's gonna stop him?
Mark: Right.
Andy: He's Mike Tyson and he's got a fucking tiger. Who the hell is gonna say no?
Mark: Yeah, yeah. Which one which one would you shoot first? Y you don't know which is more dangerous. No, but I was at we went to it wasn't really it was actually gardens, but they had animals when I was in France and it was just so sad to see these animals in they weren't cages, they were sort of, you know, in an a mini natural
Andy: Little enclosure.
Mark: environment, enclosure, but it was still so sad.
Andy: Yeah, but you know, that's still thousands of times smaller than that natural environment.
Mark: Yeah, yeah.
Andy: It's like you having to live in a bedsit.
Mark: Yeah. Well, lots of people do obviously, but no no, I I don't know. We used to go
Andy: Yeah, but you're used to something larger.
Mark: to when the children were young and I was living in England, we used to go to the Cotswold Wildlife Park, if you've ever been there. Very close to Jeremy Clarkson. And you know, they were quite vast areas, but the monkeys were in what was sort of like an aviary actually. It was a you know, it was a big old structure, but nevertheless they're still captive.
Andy: I mean...
Mark: For us to look at eating sandwiches and ice cream, looking at monkeys in a cage.
Andy: If you ever took a canal boat via the Regents Canal in London, passed
Mark: yes, through London Zoo, the Avery.
Andy: under the Monkey Cage in London Zoo, which is also like a massive aviary.
Mark: Yeah. But I dunno, you know, London Zoo when I s I remember the they had polar bears in concrete enclosures and shit. It's just no
Andy: Yeah, it's not the right place.
Mark: no, no. You have to feel a bit sad for them.
Andy: Bear in mind that London Zoo was founded in the late 1700s, I think.
Mark: Yeah.
Andy: So in those days, I mean...
Mark: It can't make any money. I don't know why people continue. I mean it must cost money.
Andy: I think it's heavily, heavily sponsored by Camden Count.
Mark: Camden, is it what? London's oo? Regents Park, that's not Bloody Camden.
Andy: Yeah, it's London Borough of Camden.
Mark: Regents Park?
Andy: Yes.
Mark: Regent, mate, it's the King, it's the Royal Park. It's got nothing to do with Bloody Camden.
Andy: You know, it's a 10 minute walk from Camden Town Tube station. Regents Park.
Mark: Is it really? Alright, I have to get my bearings in London again then. Camden. It's got nothing royal about it other than the pearly what's the pearly king and queen? Is that what they
Andy: early kings.
Mark: pearly king? Showing you royalty you have in Camden
Andy: Camden, my royal bar of Camden. I'll tell you what's royal there now
Mark: No, but that was a very s
Andy: is the prices of houses.
Mark: Camden, it's a popular place, is it?
Andy: My God, since the Camden market is the biggest street market in Europe now, and
Mark: Yeah.
Andy: real estate prices there are ridiculous.
Mark: Well, I mean, real estate in central London, anywhere in central London is ridiculous. I mean even
Andy: Yeah, but Camden is one of the top.
Mark: Is it?
Andy: Yeah, it's probably in the top five.
Mark: Next to Kensington, Belgravia, Highgate, Mayfair, Knightsbridge.
Andy: Cameron's Air.
Mark: no, but it was a very sad story. And yet as I say, I mean for the p for the families that were there at that zoo Wildlife Park.
Andy: Yeah.
Mark: I mean for God
Andy: Well good news
Mark: Anyway.
Andy: is that Tiger is not going to be punished for doing what comes naturally.
Mark: I should bloody hope so. that was that wasn't exactly a light hearted That wasn't exactly a lighthearted
Andy: because obviously you're going to get the people who say, well, that needs to be put down. Now, I didn't say we were doing lighthearted. I didn't say we were doing lighthearted. That was last episode.
Mark: Well, have you got a light hearted story? I I'll tell you what w is gonna wind you up.
Andy: Well, mean, apart from apart from Trump's speeches.
Mark: No, here's a here's a story that's going to wind you up. You're going to be
Andy: Go on.
Mark: able to have a good rant about this one. Andrew Windsor.
Andy: What about him? he's been knocked in the second place by Meghan Markle as the most disliked royal? Is
Mark: No.
Andy: that it?
Mark: He got I think he got one and a half million out of Charles.
Andy: for
Mark: Refurbishment work that he did on the cottage that he got kicked out of.
Andy: Well he's always been good at getting a couple of quid. There's Andrew. Do remember Fergie used to pimp him out?
Mark: Yeah, but he's normal Pimp him out. I was gonna say he normally relied on Fergie to pimp him out to various Middle Eastern
Andy: Yes, Andrew would love to have a meeting with you £50,000.
Mark: fifty, it was two hundred and fifty. When she got when she got s
Andy: Was it court of a mill to sit down with that fuck-
Mark: stung by the was it a Sun reporter? I think it was a Sun reporter.
Andy: It was probably a sun. Some report are usually dressed as an Arab sheikh.
Mark: No, it was literally something that stupid.
Andy: Yeah, no, because that's what they used to do. They used to dress up a completely white reporter as an Arab Sheikh.
Mark: Hehehehe dear. Talking of white
Andy: genius.
Mark: there are a lot of Asian people that travel these days, a lot of Chinese as there were in France, and they are very, very pale people. I I didn't realize I think it must be some fashion thing that they're they're white. It's like Victorian England.
Andy: That's always been a thing in most cultures that they have a cast system.
Mark: Not in actually in China, you might be right.
Andy: Yeah, they do. And especially in India and Pakistan.
Mark: Yeah, but they don't white themselves up like they do these people that I lots of people that I saw.
Andy: Even in Thailand, you know. Yes, I worked with a Thai girl in Mora, Mora Amateur. And she refused. One day we were doing some overtime on a Saturday and a few of us decided, because it was summertime, we were going to be finished by sort of midday one o'clock. So we'd go to the beach. can't remember the name of the place where they've got the lake. that was quite, yes,
Mark: Ting's notes. K Ting's notes.
Andy: no, not there, but it was, it doesn't matter. But we were going to go there for a couple of hours and just hang around the beach and just catch some rays. She wouldn't come because she did not under any circumstances need a suntan. Thank you very much.
Mark: Is that right? Is that literally what she said? As compared
Andy: Yep.
Mark: to most Swedish people who even in twenty twenty six go to suntanning salons.
Andy: Yes, no, she was from Thailand. She wasn't just a Swedish Thai, she was from Thailand.
Mark: Well not obviously different cultures, but it's just look, they were such they were so obvious because they were walking around the south of France where everybody's sort of olive skinned and looking, in my mind, healthy, and you had these Asian people who literally were white. Like Queen Victoria white. I don't know what got us onto that anyway. Right. What was the subject you were talking about? You did bring up no, it was me, Prince Andrew.
Andy: Yes.
Mark: Yeah. well that was a remarkably light rant. I was thinking you were gonna say he shouldn't be entitled to anything, he's a paedophile, should be thrown in jail.
Andy: Well, I mean, that goes without saying, we can't just keep harping on the same things.
Mark: Well we do. What you mean?
Andy: I know, that's... You try avoiding Trump at the moment. You can't. You can't. Because as soon
Mark: It's impossible. It's literally impossible.
Andy: as you think, haven't heard anything from Trump today, he goes on a midnight rant on his bloody ex, on his truth
Mark: Yes.
Andy: social.
Mark: here's someone who we don't talk about, which I I find almost refreshing, bearing in mind how Keir Starmer used to trigger you. and admittedly he's only been there three weeks, but you never talk about Andy Burnham.
Andy: He's a flash in the pan. know, with what's going on at the moment, everyone in England is saying, we need a snap election. We need a snap election because nobody voted for him and he's going to be ineffectual. like that, he's talking about, there's going to be something big in the budget. And now he's turned around and said, well, actually, won't be anything big. There won't be anything big until after he's doing a Trump after the next election. Then we'll do the big stuff because I'm so fed up with people who come into power saying they're going to do something big. They're going to do something big. And then they say, at the moment we are going to have to suffer and we're going to have to tighten our belts. But the good stuff will come. Give us the good stuff. We've been waiting 30 years for someone to go, you know what? You've suffered enough. Here's the good stuff. They all say the same shit time after time. no matter which party it is, it's always the same. yeah, we wanted to give you the good stuff, but we're going to have to wait just a little bit longer. Now here's a little tax increase for
Mark: Do you think they're going to increase attacks on billionaires?
Andy: No, of course not. Of course they're not. They're going to increase the tax on the working man.
Mark: I hope not.
Andy: It's the same old gameplay. I've told you this so many times, doesn't matter who's in power, they work to the same plan. It's just bullshit. That's why it's pointless voting for anyone.
Mark: No, I disagree. I hope that I hope that the new leadership causes some sort of I don't know, it's got to be some sort of move in the right direction.
Andy: Not much in the way of leadership
Mark: We'll see.
Andy: when he's been linked with the Man City financial scam.
Mark: yes. Now sorry, do you know what this sca 'cause it's big news, but I don't know anything about it. What is this Manchester City?
Andy: Okay, basically each club has got a set amount of money they're allowed to spend on players every year. And
Mark: Yes.
Andy: for at least the last 10 years, Man City have had secret offshore accounts swimming in cash that they've been using to subsidise their transfer fees. So basically what they've been doing is
Mark: I see s yeah.
Andy: fielding teams with players that essentially are not allowed to play in the premiership and they've been winning titles, more importantly, stopping other teams from progressing in the title race. So there is a big, I mean, it is a big deal. And Andy Burnham was the mayor of Liverpool or Manchester, wherever it was,
Mark: Just
Andy: when they were basically given free rein to build a football stadium on council land by the mayor.
Mark: Not too shocking.
Andy: Depends on how deeply you delve into it. What was in it for him, you have to ask.
Mark: you think he's on the take?
Andy: Definitely. 100%.
Mark: You think our current Prime Minister in the UK was on the take?
Andy: I know it's unthinkable of any politician, but yes, 100 % he got greased.
Mark: Or all right. So that was the that is the scandal that they had offshore slush funds that they were using to purchase players above and beyond their budget limit. Hm.
Andy: Yes. And also, the fact that Andy Burnham came out vocally in support of Man City when these charges were first levied is pretty damning indictment as well. Now he's...
Mark: Unless he was fooled.
Andy: he wasn't fooled. You don't have a couple of Sun reporter lookalike Arab sheikhs coming up to you with suitcases of cash and think This is legit.
Mark: How will you recognise the politician that is actually going to make change because you are so biased in your attitude towards all politicians, if Jesus landed on the planet tomorrow, you would probably start criticizing him.
Andy: First of all, name Jesus.
Mark: Exactly. That's what I mean.
Andy: You
Mark: So how would you recognize
Andy: That's a Sun reporter dressed up as a carpenter from 2000 years ago.
Mark: Whoa! God, I nearly tipped my laptop over. Got so excited. No. dear. Did you watch the Grand Prix yesterday?
Andy: I'm getting ridiculous.
Mark: Well, no, the only reason I mention it is I know you're not interested in in Formula One Racing, but who was there?
Andy: Kim Kardashian?
Mark: Yes. Kim Kardashian. Yeah I I mean I I know
Andy: lovely. Why does it, I mean, why is it important? Why does she make the news when the Formula One is on the back page?
Mark: No, it is w it w Formula One wasn't on the back page. It was it wasn't a particularly exciting race. It was alright. But I just as I say, I've said it before, I'll say it again. Unfortunately, my opinion of Lewis Hamilton has suffered as a result of his association with Kim Kardashian.
Andy: Yeah, and that's because of your perceived opinion of Kim Kardashian through her social media interactions over the last, 20 years?
Mark: No, you're right, absolutely. I mean I'm not a social media person, but anybody
Andy: But you can't avoid that.
Mark: No no no, you can't, you're right. And and certain things, one can't you're you're right, you literally can't avoid it. So of course I formed an opinion of the whole of the Kardashian brigade. i i if you were measuring people's success based on money, obviously they're very, very successful. But on what other metrics could you use other than money?
Andy: There is none. They're not family of
Mark: I mean huh.
Andy: talented actresses or singers.
Mark: The th the thing was, the thing that got me was that so she's she's walking around the pit lane, she's in the garage, and she's his girlfriend, so of course she's going to be. But it was like she was made up to the stars in some really clingy dress.
Andy: Which, to be honest...
Mark: It was sort of like look at me I mean of course it's look at me. I mean again me being ridiculously naive, of course it's look at me.
Andy: She's got one of those inflated butt holes that... It's more of a freak show than anything attractive or sexy. It's just horrible
Mark: No, but th that that's that
Andy: to look at.
Mark: doesn't she have a normal mode? She was there to support Lewis. Not to be the star of the show. No no
Andy: She wasn't, she was there to get her picture in the papers.
Mark: no exactly, but at what point is she making breakfast in the morning looking like that?
Andy: Don't be ridiculous. No, she's never made breakfast in her life. She wouldn't even know how to boil an egg. If their
Mark: You might
Andy: staff died, she would die of starvation. It would take a while
Mark: That's it.
Andy: because there's a bit of meat on them bones, but she would eventually die of starvation.
Mark: No anyway, so you know, it's just it's I just I dunno. I mean obviously there there must I mean Lewis Hamilton's had some pretty damn good girlfriends in the past. There must be something. I think he thinks that she's a good influence on him in terms of decision making and such like. I I saw
Andy: Based on what?
Mark: no but I saw a video of him saying and I just assumed it was AI, but now I'm not so sure. When she was recommending not to accept an offer from Red Bull, and to accept a lower cash amount from Ferrari. And I thought, Well what it's just but No. No, well it it wasn't. It
Andy: What the hell would she know about motor racing? That'd be like him coming phoning me up and going, all right, and I've had this offer from Red Bull. I just wanted to chew it out with you and see what your opinion is.
Mark: No, but it wasn't it wasn't a motor racing issue, it was a business, it was a financial issue. And she
Andy: like she's ever made a financial decision herself in her life.
Mark: Well you she might be quite an astute business person, that's for sure.
Andy: No, her mother is the astute one. She's the one who pimped
Mark: Which is her mother.
Andy: out all the children.
Mark: What's the mother's name?
Andy: I can't remember her name.
Mark: What's the father's name?
Andy: Caitlyn.
Mark: So the father is the now trans not now but
Andy: no, hang on, her father was actually the lawyer fellow who defended OJ Simpson. He died.
Mark: Right. Who's the who's the transgender one?
Andy: Caitlin was the second husband. He's the stepfather.
Mark: The stepfather is the one that's now a woman.
Andy: Yeah.
Mark: And he was an athlete.
Andy: Yeah, Bruce Jenner. I think he was a triathlete. Now he's had a piece taken off, he's just a biathlete, I guess. You
Mark: God's sake. No, but you know, it's I s as I say, I I'm just you know, I mean it's sixty five year old white male heterosexual, what do you expect of me, really? But I just don't get it. I don't understand it.
Andy: I'm glad I don't understand it. I don't want to understand it. There is one story in the current bun that caught my eye and I can't read the whole story because it's behind a paywall and I refuse. But the headline was brilliant and it's a picture of this guy doing sad face. And it's the headline is I had piles then gangrene set in and my scrotum swelled to the size of a melon.
Mark: my God.
Andy: I've never been tempted to buy the sun before but hopefully
Mark: Now you are.
Andy: there'll be photos, I don't know.
Mark: Have you ever I don't think we need to discuss but have you ever had piles? They're bloody painful. You've never had piles in all your life.
Andy: No, I haven't, no. No. No.
Mark: Really? Well you're lucky. Most people do at some stage.
Andy: I know I remember my mate Scouse Mick talking about it when we were 30. And I was like, I thought Pals
Mark: Yeah, you can get you get
Andy: was like an older.
Mark: No. Pregnant women get piles. All sorts of things. but my scrotum swelled up to the size of a melon. So when it got I was gonna
Andy: I mean, I'd like to know if it was a honey melon or a watermelon.
Mark: say, so when it got to the size of an apple, no, can't be bothered to do anything. And then it got to the size of a grapefruit, no, we'll leave it a little bit longer.
Andy: Yeah, I'll wait until it gets to a million. Then I'll see if I can flog me nuts to the sun.
Mark: I mean, you know, I I I can sort of understand that people are embarrassed to go to the doctor, but when your balls are the size of a grapefruit, I think that is a signal that you need some medical attention.
Andy: Well I mean, when you have to get into an Uber just to go to the shops, the corner shop to pick up the current bun, then you definitely need to go and see a doctor. I mean, the size of a melon.
Mark: that that that reminds me of a Louis Thoreau program where they were in America and this woman lived in LA and she used to drive to her her letterbox which was tw thirty meters down the drive.
Andy: What? right, okay, down the end of the drive.
Mark: She used to drive to the end of the drive to pick up her mail. And it was literally thirty me it wasn't like half a kilometre or something,
Andy: Mm.
Mark: it was a short drive. dear. So I thought you did pay for the current bun.
Andy: No. No.
Mark: So you get to see the headline but you can't get into the story behind.
Andy: I mean, there are some stories, like the headline stories are generally not behind the paywall. It's usually the fashion stuff and the music stuff and there'll be the odd story. Gossip is always behind the paywall. Now they've put, of
Mark: So
Andy: course, now they've put the problem page behind the paywall, which really pisses me off.
Mark: Deirdre.
Andy: Yeah, dear Deirdre, now it costs money. But
Mark: that worked.
Andy: they throw you a teaser a couple of times a week. They do read today for free, so.
Mark: well can you can you can you People's problems must have been solved multiple times with dear dear Dre.
Andy: Dear Deirdre is not Dear Deirdre anymore. She's been replaced so many times.
Mark: She's died. huh.
Andy: But today's one was quite amusing that I could read.
Mark: you can actually see it.
Andy: Yeah, sex with my wife has become so frustrating because I finish fast and I feel pain.
Mark: I've finished force and it's painful.
Andy: Yeah.
Mark: And what was the response? What was the advice?
Andy: Well, didn't read the advice. I just want to make sure that someone else's life
Mark: Of course.
Andy: is shittier than mine. That's all I'm interested in.
Mark: That's literally Did you did you did you send in a response how fast, mate, and how painful?
Andy: Well, I can tell you it's like two seconds and it's painful because he says that he can't pull his foreskin back over his knob end anymore. And this, yeah,
Mark: Anymore.
Andy: he to, used to, didn't have a problem until that second child was born. So I
Mark: Wha why did that affect his Willie?
Andy: think it's psychosomatic. I mean, I could do deodeidry. It's obviously that The stress of waking up with two young children all through the night has given him performance anxiety and he knows he needs to finish quickly because any minute now the baby monitor can go off.
Mark: yes, good well done, Andy. That's right.
Andy: So he's talked his body into going, thank you very much. Pump two, three, four, done. Was that good for you, baby?
Mark: That's what we should do, Andy. We should we should start doing a p a pr problem page.
Andy: Not really. Yeah, no.
Mark: Not really.
Andy: Ow, ow, ow, ooh, before skin. Ow.
Mark: Dear Andy More problems.
Andy: I used to have a, I used to have a mate, another Andy, who used to come round me house quite often. And he used to love the Deer Deer Dree. So he would read the problems out and I would give the solution and we would laugh for hours.
Mark: I mean it's just I mean I I don't know, why would you write Well I suppose if you haven't got yeah if you haven't got people you can conv No exactly.
Andy: You're not going to ask your mates, you, in the pub? Yeah, by the way lads, I'll get me nuts off in about two and a half seconds. Wouldn't that be the end of the sentence and the end of the conversation? Because the others would be laughing so hard on the floor, texting on their phones and
Mark: You're right.
Andy: telling their wives about your lack of performance.
Mark: Two seconds.
Andy: you
Mark: Nobody can only last two seconds. I suppose you can actually.
Andy: I will click on this and double check. I'm 32, my wife is 33, we've been together five years and have a little girl who's three and a son who's just turned one. Blah de blah de blah de blah. My wife tries to reassure me, saying it doesn't matter but it's on my mind every single day. Blah de blah de blah. Come on, have I missed it? It's become frustrating because I finish so fast. I'm starting to wonder if there's any point to it. Now he doesn't say two seconds, but you know.
Mark: You're reading two seconds into it.
Andy: Between the lines, I'm saying it's pretty damn quick. I mean, we're talking Grand Prix.
Mark: That's two hours.
Andy: I'm talking Grand Prix speeds.
Mark: right. dear. I've never I I have never Well in fact actually that that's a p indictment of my generation our generation. I don't think I've ever asked advice of anybody.
Andy: No, you wouldn't.
Mark: I literally I don't think I've ever asked advice of anybody. I talk, obviously.
Andy: No, this is another symptom of the technical age that we live in where your whole life has to be on Facebook. Because unless you're contributing to the nonsense that's out there, you're invisible. So people feel the need to share everything.
Mark: Well as I say, even that website Brits in Sweden, you know, where English people living abroad, it is incredible what people ask advice about on a public forum.
Andy: Yeah. Yeah, I mean, there are certain websites, especially people who are into like alternative medicines and things, and they have these forums and
Mark: Yeah.
Andy: some of the dangerous advice that they're given is incredible. There's one woman said, my baby is got severe colic and I'm wondering how many drops of arsenic I can give her. It's like... It's literally stuff like that. you think, what? Where are you getting your medical advice from? And it's obviously from the local witches.
Mark: talking about arsenic very quickly, did I mention I started watching the new production of East of Eden on Netflix?
Andy: Yes. Yes.
Mark: Just telling our listeners, that is the most depressing series I've sat th admittedly I sat through all of them, but like what were they thinking? There was no there was not a single episode that had anything happy happening it.
Andy: Well you know what I've been
Mark: What?
Andy: trying to watch, because I never did in the 90s, because I was out. And that's the X-Files. They've released a whole lot on Amazon Prime.
Mark: with with Anderson.
Andy: Yeah, and Mulder, Duchovny, David Duchovny. They've released
Mark: Dukovnik. Yeah.
Andy: a whole lot on Amazon Prime. So I started series one, episode one, and I have to say the special effects are dire. And the acting. It's awful. Yes,
Mark: no.
Andy: honestly, it's terrible.
Mark: Anderson, she's an absolute star actress.
Andy: She's not, she's got one facial expression.
Mark: No.
Andy: She looks like she invented Botox. She literally doesn't move her face. Never seen her smile.
Mark: Do you know I can't I can't remember I can't remember much about the X-Files, but I do remember one scene that has stuck in my mind, and they were they were they had problems with a drainage system or something, and they were underground, and there was a part of the tube, this big drainage tube that was made of glass, so you could see all the shit going through it. And at one stage, if you can imagine. a male mermaid but obvious
Andy: Yeah. It's like a fish with a dick.
Mark: you didn't see the dig and it was the express as this tube this this sort of male mermaid was sucked through this tube and the expression of sort of shock and horror that was obviously permanently on this f face as he was being circulated around this drainage system. And that I mean if you come across the episode, tell me which one it is, and then I'll re watch it to try and get it out of my system by watching it again. It was very good viewing. Come on, y
Andy: I I thought, I thought bearing in mind that we do a podcast on strange, weird and wonderful stuff that I should really have that as part of my background information. But
Mark: You should do.
Andy: I'm finding it kind of tough going because it is quite tough to watch. But it has inspired me for our Thursday episode, which is going to be kind of weird and strange and a bit disturbing.
Mark: Sorry, what is her name? It's not a Kate Anderson, is it?
Andy: Gillian.
Mark: Jillian Anderson. She's done some really good stuff. Sex education, all of the Yeah. Is she really? Alright.
Andy: Gillian with a G. She's English, you know. Yeah.
Mark: Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Alright, my watch is telling me it's time to stand up, Andy.
Andy: Er, okay, I think we've covered enough nonsense this week for speaking shite.
Mark: I think we've had quite a good a quite a good range of subjects from the dire state of American politics with Trump to Gillian Anderson. That's a good way to finish.
Andy: and being half eaten by a tiger in the middle.
Mark: Yeah, that's not so nice. Yeah. Alright.
Andy: Yeah well anyway that brings us to the end of this episode. I think we're on episode 8 of this speaking shite now.
Mark: Yep. All right. Good, excellent.
Andy: So we've been going a couple of months. Haven't had any complaints so we'll keep going.
Mark: Which is positive. Is that the measure? If we don't have any complaints.
Andy: Yeah, well, you know, I've yeah, technically that is it. So thanks for listening. Hope you found
Mark: Yeah. Yeah. Yep.
Andy: that entertaining and we'll see you. Well, today will be Wednesday when you listen to this, hopefully. So we'll see you on Sunday with the next episode of Strange Stuff podcast. In the meantime, have yourself
Mark: Excellent.
Andy: a week. Go out and make some news, make it funny so we can talk about it. or make it serious so we can talk about it. It doesn't really matter. Either way,
Mark: Very good.
Andy: we'll see you next time. Bye for now.
Mark: Cheerio.
