speaker-0: I remember praying to like the baby gods. There has to be a toy out there that that can give me that.
speaker-1: Borrowing the lands from us, right? And reset the environment for them to further explore on their own.
speaker-0: Is it true then that we can buy toys that encourage these different developmental stages? Welcome to Straight Talking. I'm Kathy Rugier, and Worth It is the series from Straight Talking with Pregnant and Popped, where we ask whether popular motherhood and parenthood products are really worth your time, money, and mental load. And helping us decide whether it's really worth it today is Christine, who is an early learning and play expert and founder of Sunshine Pumpkin. Before we get started, If you're a parent trying to work out what's genuinely worth it and what's just clever marketing, make sure you subscribe so you don't miss future episodes of Worth It. And remember to check out Pregnant and Popped on Instagram, where we give away some of the best products we review, share exclusive discount codes for products that we genuinely think are worth it, and you'll find the links in the show notes below. Let's get Into it. Christine, before we start, you have absolutely no idea what is in that box, that bag. Yeah. No? Right, perfect. Let's keep it that way for a few more seconds. Based on your expertise, what is one product category that parents consistently spend too much money on?
speaker-1: Yes. What Hmm. I think I see a lot of parents buying cute things. They spend a lot of money on plushies. Especially in the ⁓ the first few months. Sometimes it's really mainly for the parent themselves. And they spend a lot of money on plushies, battery operated toys. There's toys that, you know, this I mean I'm not saying that it's completely low, but b because there's too many of it and there's Battery operator means it does not really have the back and forth communication amongst the parent, the adult and the child. Because mainly the product itself is doing the singing or talking and the child is the audience, just looking and listening. So there's no back and forth. And early language starts from right from birth. Even when the mum when the mom is pregnant, you know, when the mom's talking to the child, the child the baby is listening. So that's how language actually starts.
speaker-0: So the two way backwards and forwards is most important. Yes. Okay. So interesting. Well, let's see whether today's product falls into any of those categories. Okay. Okay, so open the box. Open the bag. Let's see what you think.
speaker-1: ⁓ I think this is exactly what I just mentioned! ⁓ well, let's sing. Literally put the battery in and start. And it starts to sing. Yeah. Well and he says he has three plus age, but I guess a lot of parents would like to buy for the younger one. Below three.
speaker-0: Yeah. Really interesting point. I'm so pleased that you said that. Now, before we go on, for the listeners, not the watchers, I want to explain what we've what you've got in front of you. And then I really want to go back to what you just said because it was it was a massive observation of mine as well when I bought it. So today's product is the music twisted worm. It's like a caterpillar on a moving base, and you put batteries into it, it plays a tune. Now I purchased it online from a company based in Singapore called Lion Tots. And at the time of purchase, it was reduced from $35.80 to $17.90. Okay, so it's it was on offer. Now, looking at the box, like you say, what can we see at the moment of other box? So we've got light features, we've got music features, what else have we got going on on there?
speaker-1: I'm not sure whether it spins or it moves. ⁓ lights. Different lights. I guess you can parents might use it for as a night light before bedtime thing.
speaker-0: Different lines. Judging by the video, and this is what I wanted to go back to, judging by the video, it's like probably a bit too crazy for before bed. So I thought exactly the same as you when I saw the 3 Plus, because the marketing, the website, and everything, if you go onto the website, it's got crawling babies. And it's being marketed as a product to encourage babies to crawl, like chase after it, that sort of thing. So That really threw me because like the website was definitely suggesting it's for babies, whereas when I got it out of the box it said three plus. Now we do know so many toys seem to say three plus, almost like a covering themselves type of ankle.
speaker-1: Yeah. And that's this is exactly what I actually teach in my toy selection masterclass because the three plus age usually is what the they like you say to cover themselves up. As you can see the batteries here, although it's like s for them to screw on, but sometimes the screw got get loose and the battery small parts and all things like that. So that's why they say to be safe, give it to a children who is three plus. But it's confusing because when we P as parents, we go online and we there's toy catalogs everywhere showing these kind of toys exactly for the infants. And we get confused and we think that, ⁓ this is it, because it keeps them entertained. It does keep them entertained because children this young they are very attracted to lights. Shiny bright things. Catch that catch their attention. Yeah. Just like our our home, our light, when we switch it on, you will see immediately they will be so amazed. So that's why these kind of toys keep them engaged, but parents miss out on point that engaging should have back and forth. Just how when we change n nappy, we talk to them, we go on a walk in the park, we talk to them, there's back and forth. Although the back is to the parents is not in words, but it's their response. They are actually just listening and absorbing.
speaker-0: And I guess learning vocabulary when we're talking backwards and forwards. So probably on a product or there's a lot of products out there that we know or we guess that they put their three plus ages on from almost like a liability perspective. They just want to make sure that they cover themselves and say, But there's a lot of really well thought out toys that still have ages on them. You know, you'll see naught to six plus, you know, three to t to twelve months, that sort of thing. Yeah. Like How much can we take that those recommendations, even from products that you might say are really good products, how much do we need to listen to the age recommendations?
speaker-1: I would still look at the age recommendation and judging at my child's my child's interests. So say for example, a block, a wooden block. It's open-ended, right? So usually parents will say, ⁓ no, my my baby can't play with for sure. I am at least three years old. But what as parents we perceive as play is different, right? Play in s comes in stages. So I would actually I give my eight-month-old wooden block because as parents what I can show him is if I stack it, what happens? And if I push it, what happens? And he's watching. And actually, there's one time he attempted to stack one block on top of another. And I feel as long as the item is safe, there's no small parts, it's not so heavy, there are wooden blocks who are very heavy that it might you know hurt the child who's under four. So we try wooden blocks that are it you can get it from IKEA, those usual wooden blocks that's not much of a shape for them to really even the shape one is fine actually. To let them feel the texture of it. A triangle is is formed this way, a square is formed this way. So children actually learn things gradually. So what I'm trying to say is that parents they tend to have the possession of how place should be. like when they purchase something. So when they purchase, say a plushie, okay, it's for my daughter because ⁓ it's for her pretemplate. She she treats it as her her baby, you know. For my son I should buy cars because he's into cars now.
speaker-0: Okay, so we put our preconceptions onto what play should look like a lot of the time. Yes.
speaker-1: Because oftentimes as adults we forgot how play looks like when we were a child. And we see a lot of play now as an adult, maybe based on what we see online or when we go for workshops, there's pictures. So pictures give the perception that okay, this is how play should be. Even I always tell my clients that, you know, play play looks like anything your child is doing. Even when they're sticking a wooden spoon, banging onto the table, they are learning. So play is learning. To them. Yeah. Yeah. It's not an answer to pain when.
speaker-0: I still remember playing as a young kid. So not baby age, like a bit older. And this is going to well, I am old, but this is gonna make me sound really old. But I remember my dad having a big plastic drum that he used to like get from work, like a big water butt. And he s cut like a circle out of it. So essentially he made like a hoop, like a ring out of it, and he sanded down the edges. So it wasn't, you know, it was smooth and like nice for me to hold. And he cut a branch off of our apple tree and he kind of whittled it down a little bit. No word of black. I know I literally sound like something out of the 1930s now, but this was the this is the 1980s, not the 1930s. And he showed me how to run down the street with the branch, like whipping the hoop to make the hoop.
speaker-1: What
speaker-0: Well. Wow. And it's one of the only play things that I can remember. Like d I I mean, don't get me wrong, I remember like my first bike and things like that as well. But like it really stuck in my head how this plastic hoop and this branch off the apple tree was was playing. Yeah. Like and it's such a simple concept. It's like you say with the bricks like you know, stacking them. Yeah. And I guess it's open ended.
speaker-1: Okay.
speaker-0: play when you play like that. It could be it could lead to anything. They can build anything.
speaker-1: Yeah, yeah, and exactly like you say because I I mean I believe that this this memory stuck in you because it's a very fond memory that you spent with your father and it's the connection that was built along play. Yeah.
speaker-0: Yeah, yeah, like I sat and watched him. I watched him make that. Yeah. Yeah. And it and it was like the thing it did it didn't come from like because we couldn't afford toys or anything like that. It was just an idea he had. he had the skills to be able to do it. Yeah. ⁓ so yeah, like 'cause you think now we buy so much stuff. And so. I mean I'm I'm a hundred percent guilty of it. ⁓ I like I'm I'm very guilty of buying the plushies as well. ⁓ So ⁓ but you're right in the sense you can s you can see and feel the difference with the little one. When it's like not necessarily one to one, but when they're getting human reaction and in interaction, I guess that's right.
speaker-1: Yes. Stefana. Yeah. Yes. And I must say, given in this day and age where technology is not I wouldn't say taking over, but it's really the main part of our life right now where interactions has already been like minimized. I really think that, you know, from a young age where parents can put their device away. I'm not saying the whole day, right? Our our baby can't stay a awake for too long, even though they're awake for three hours, but three hours constantly some Changing IP, feeding, you know, maybe they after you change the nape you have to change again. So maybe the real sit down, talking, playing is about half an hour. So that moment really treasure it and show them that we are living we are a living thing, you know. So try not to give too much of the things that keep them entertained and there's no back and forth. Like for example, battery operated. Yeah.
speaker-0: Yes. So thinking of that, because there's gonna be people, you know, watching and listening that either have this toy or have similar toys. Like we've all we've all got them, you know, we've all been given them. We've all opened boxes on birthdays and and got electronic toys that light up and sing and dance and do all the other. So let's assume we've got them at home. What can parents do with those toys? Like is there a way that you can still make them useful, that you can still create those meaningful moments?
speaker-1: Yes. So even like you say, given to me as ⁓ my my son was given by ⁓ Miss Clashy that has that sings to him. And he likes it from the beginning, but I only use it on s at certain time, at certain place in the house. So I'm very I talk about zones in the play area, right? So this belongs to where he drinks his meal. Because it you know it's something that he can pet. He can look at it, it lights up and it sings to him. So until today he's eight months old. He hardly goes to it because he has other toys, but he will remember that particular toy when it's mealtime.
speaker-0: Interesting. Yes. So linking it to to certain things. Yes.
speaker-1: So right he's at the age right now where he can grab and he will insist on certain certain things. So I'm very strict on like there's no toys in the in the in the bedroom because for sleeping but if I see certain toys that keeps him calm and you know at the right mood to go into the slumber for example that toy that sings to him I will let him bring in bring it in
speaker-0: And do you interact with him with that toy as well?
speaker-1: Yes. So I will say, ⁓ look at it you know, I will use the the plushie's hand and pat him and say he's singing to you and then I will sing alongside Plush. Yeah.
speaker-0: So really created that engagement, that interaction.
speaker-1: So it's still engaging with the child. But I I do s I must say that because of this this thing that instilled right at the beginning, at four months old people were telling me, ⁓ no, you know, your child can't can't be at the play area, they won't be playing. But because I know playing looks differently, I've been putting him in the play area since he's four months old. Now there are times that I could stand away for a good half twenty minutes to do things on my own when he's engaged playing by himself. And the area.
speaker-0: So is it a question of giving the time in advance, like spending the early weeks and months doing the one to one interaction and then you might be able to benefit from toys like this in the sense of you've already put those foundations in, or is it something different?
speaker-1: So like I say, everything that's given to us, of course, we wouldn't want to throw it away. There are things that's quite expensive when it's even though battery operated, right? So the foundation there like is is the parents are still there showing them the toy. So it's not just put there in the crib here self-entertained, right? And because when the child feels safe enough, they they will feel confident that okay, if I don't see you, I'm still safe.
speaker-0: Okay. Yes. Okay. And I mean
speaker-1: There are days, right? There are days that my son will no 10 minutes, no, come back, come back. 20 minutes, sometimes 45 minutes, he will be fine by himself. So I always say, respond to your child. So even though you can say that, yeah, my child can play by himself, but it's even ourselves, we have our moods, right? So we can can't expect our child to be, wow, every day, 30 minutes, leave me alone while I go, you know, get a coffee and get my breakfast. So there are days.
speaker-0: praying for that though. I remember praying to like the baby gods. There has to be a toy out there that that can give me that. But yeah, the the baby gods never quite delivered on that one.
speaker-1: it really depends on temperament. Sometimes some child some children they really do need more one to one to a certain age. I've seen one one or two that they will be just clinging on to the mom up to one, one and a half. But because of the foundation that has been set, the trust that the child's been given, she flourished. She she's doing very well in school. This one of my my students. That's so cool. Yeah, so the The I mean the first one year the mom is the only one, you know, she can't pass it to the father because the child will be screaming. So, you know, it's the it's really the mom or the parent, you know, maybe it's the dad. Real the work of the parents. So toys are there to supplement to our parenting, but it's really us. Some children actually just need us to be there and fully there. ⁓ we don't need to entertain them all the time. Sometimes my entertainment with my son is just sitting down. We are looking at the trees outside. Quiet time. Just that. And him feeling my presence, just touching him. And sometimes I say one or two words like, Yes, look, the trees are s the trees are swaying because there's wind. That's it. We don't have to go into like, ⁓ because the wind. We go into the whole scientific explanation of it. Yeah. Sometimes yeah, just teach them the The the essence of just being, right? Which is something that with this past pace life we have already lost it.
speaker-0: ⁓ I've totally lost that skill. Totally lost that skill. I was trying really hard. I was having a manicure yesterday. And I was trying so hard to relax. Like because I could feel like she was telling me off because my hands were tense. You know, like how you don't give your hands to like you don't relax and she can't move things. And I was like, ⁓ yeah, sorry. I'd like trying to relax and then I'd then I'd
speaker-1: Ha ha.
speaker-0: Desperately I'd close my eyes and like think of nothing and then like work or something to do with my daughter would come into my brain and I'd I'd start flicking on my phone and then she'd be like, You're tense again I was like, sorry, sorry. 'Cause I I literally we can't stop still anymore. Like we don't we don't have that skill. Or a lot of us don't have that skill.
speaker-1: Yeah.
speaker-0: I guess something I've always found with like the noisy toys, the flashy toys, all of that, like as an adult that is already overwhelmed. So we've already layered up like quite a lot of stimulation. Yeah. ⁓ and not just on a daily basis. I mean like we wake up feeling stimulated from the day before and the day before and the year before and the year before and the year before. Like it's you it's like it's all built up in our nervous system. And I absolutely suffer from the the overstimulation of toys. So as a parent, for me. Like trying to even interact with them. Trying to do all the right things. Be right, we've got this toy. There's and I know that there's lots of things I can do with it. I know I can talk about the colours. I can talk about the shapes on it. I th I I know that there's lots of interactive ways I can use that toy, but just when I hit that button, ⁓ I would I would like How long do I have to have this going? Like I really like I personally found it quite overstimulating to have noisy toys. But I'm not everyone. And you know, a lot of a lot of people are big kids at heart. Yeah, there's lot of adults that will literally laugh and chuckle at the twisted music worm like dancing around and they'll really enjoy it. And I guess maybe they would have a different relationship with their child around that stuff. It's one of the sort of parents that enjoy Disney World more than me. Do you know what I mean? I can't even do Disney World without like I think I probably need to bear one of those headphones. You know, like how you you see kids going around that get overstimulated really easily and they they have their their the pods on. I I probably need some of those myself. So it was $18. Well just under $18. It was on sale. If I gave you $18 right now.
speaker-1: Right.
speaker-0: What would what would you go out and get? So if a parent hasn't already got this and I gave you $18, what would you get with the $18?
speaker-1: Say before below 1 euro. Yeah 1 euro 18 dollars I will go to Ikea and get the wooden block. And I think it should, if I'm not mistaken, it could have some change left. I will buy some paints. Okay. Messy paint. Okay. Yeah.
speaker-0: Nice. Okay. So paints paints and wooden blocks below one year old. So really stuff for like open ended, creative. Yes. That's what parents should be looking for at that stage.
speaker-1: That this is something given that it's we have limited space in where we live in right now, I would not buy too many. Because already, you know, it's a tradition. I mean, especially the Asian culture, right? When there's ⁓ we have the hundred-day celebration, we have the one-month celebration, we have all this celebration. People are giving toys. So I would as a parent, I wouldn't buy, say If I know that these are toys that parents people would usually give me, I would not buy it. I will buy toys that last. So, like I say, there's different stages of play. So we have to remove the perception that okay, it's a wooden block, you have to build it. It's a triangle, you have to feel the edges. Yeah. This is a ball, you have to throw it to me. So to me,
speaker-0: No.
speaker-1: If you ask me as a parent, I would say these are the toys that you can buy. And there are brands out there who sell really high quality wooden blocks that is ⁓ say, you know, they have they have their own way of marketing it, how do how how it's being used. If you have more budget, you can use it. Or if not just get a very simple wooden block from Ikea. And again
speaker-0: Because a lot of the ⁓ like the price difference between things like wooden rocks tends to be leaning towards the sustainability aspect. You know, where the woods come from. You know, if it's been mined by special pixies from a special forest, you know, that eternally is gonna like be sustainable, then it costs more and it's been dyed by special non toxic. Bluebells from a special wood or something, you know what I mean? Like yeah, then it's it costs more. But then you've got like your standard ones, which normally sit like this there's safety regulations that like all of the good brands should be following. So in terms of like the toxicity and all of that, you look on the label, but you obviously can get like levels of you know these wonderfully thought out, sustainable.
speaker-1: Yeah. Thanks. But I something came in mind. I believe our listeners may think then what about those toys that it's meant for, you know, to train the pincer grid, to train the certain muscles and things like that. Does that mean that since I say open-ended is something that I would buy, should I not buy the rest? Yeah. I always tell parents when I set up the play area for them, there is routines in the day, schedule in the day. So we allow just like in a school, right? We allow free play time. And we allow structured playtime. So during struct free playtime, they are also learning. They're learning pencil grid when they they can't hold this ball. Okay, I must use two hands. They are learning concepts of their own. But when it's structured one-to-one, then that's when you give certain toys this, you know, to train the pencil grid, to to teach about object permanence and and things like that. So they are toys there's different functions and it's just how we plan the day. and how we introduce it to our child.
speaker-0: Okay, so I guess actually coming back to this then, because whilst it's not necessarily on the on this image, certainly on the website, this was absolutely marketed as encouraging crawling.
speaker-1: So I guess it moves.
speaker-0: It does. It does. It moves across the floor and it like sings its little tune and it wiggles as it goes. At least that's what it said on the website. ⁓ and I'll ⁓ I'll make sure there's a link for people to to see to see what it does. And you could see babies, you know, actively being I wanna get the caterpillar ⁓ and trying to crawl to follow it. So it is it true then that we can buy toys that encourage these different developmental stages?
speaker-1: Definitely. Definitely. If if you ask me, I would use other things to encourage crawling. Putting things just a little bit further. Because you know, babies they just they will be attracted by certain things. Like for my son, he's particularly attracted to my husband's spec spectacles. So we use it. ⁓
speaker-0: As a spectacle wearer, I know exactly what he's talking about. Strangers babies get attracted to my spectacles.
speaker-1: No, he's always grabbing the husband's spectacle. So we use it to introduce crawling and encourage him to crawl. But if let's say this is something that's given to you and if you can give him give the child a space, so it's really how we introduce it to our child. A big space, just this, without other distraction. Yeah, for sure. Because I I know some babies who just refuse to crawl. And although it some some parents I know when they compare with other babies they get worried. But I always say no, don't don't worry because every child although there's a milestone there, it's a guideline. It's not something that you have to achieve by this time. Some babies are earlier, some babies are later. So you want to introduce crawling or encourage crawling, especially for babies who really just have not much intention to crawl, although during that window they are supposed to be crawling. You can try something like this, but make sure that round eight there's no other distractions. No other worms or you know car that's moving, that's also trying to fight for his attention. Yeah. Like you say, some everyone will only react differently to stimulus, right? Maybe there's too many flashy likes. Okay, I shut up. I don't wanna do any.
speaker-0: Yeah. Yeah, I know, but then then they might end up like me, totally overstipulated by noisy toys. ⁓
speaker-1: this is though, but if it's too noisy, I would not recommend. Really.
speaker-0: No, I guess it I mean I guess it it attracts their attention. But like you say, putting a light on attracts their attention. Yeah. Christine, before I ask my final question, there will be parents listening who think, I need more help with this. So for the parents out there that are thinking, so much of that, you know, made sense and I want more help from Christine, how can they get help from you on this?
speaker-1: Okay, this year we have launched workshops that teach parents exactly how to select the toys. And the ⁓ the thing that I'm doing actively right now is a play consultation where I would go to your house, observe your child, s and see your child's interests, your play environment, your family's needs. So I really look into parents' needs as well to build a system that works for you and your child. So your child can engage longer, or if you understand what's independent play. I hope to remove or minimize, I always say reminimize your guilt and knowing that okay, I know I'm doing something right. And I have to go back to the mantra that what is learning at this age? Learning is really they are they are at this age, they are really borrowing the lens from us, right? We how they see the world is through us. and reset their environment for them to further explore on their own. So this is something that I provide, a consultation where I go to you, help you to build a system for you and your child.
speaker-0: Wow, so useful for parents. Yeah. Especially when we're so busy and we don't you know, we haven't got time to Google all the answers and work it all out ourselves.
speaker-1: Yes, and I always say because there's a lot, like you say, a lot of information out there. And when we see a properly set up ⁓ mm no a Montessori inspired space, but we forgot that probably this person has a very big space that's dedicated just for the child. In Singapore we may not have the space, but does that mean that we cannot teach independence? That's not true. Yeah. We can use everyday things around whether you have the A lot of budget for your child space or no budget, just one whatever you have at home. I can do that too. ⁓
speaker-0: ⁓ I love it. I love it. So, Christine, my final question that I ask every guest on Straight Talking. Imagine I gave you access to every parent in Singapore for one WhatsApp message. What message would you send them?
speaker-1: I would say that what your child, so as parents, we always always want to give them the best, which is perfectly fine. But what your child really, really wants is really just you. Your presence and your undivided attention to them that worth more than a million dollars. More than any toys. When they are fascinated by a toy, they want That toy because they they they think of the possible things that they can do with you. And that is a bond that we want to instill and strengthen right from the beginning. Because as they grow older, we have teenagers, you know, they're where they have they go through another phase of you know confused and finding themselves. We want them to always know to come back to us because we are their safe space and we can always support them.
speaker-0: I want to cry now. I want to go grab my daughter, pull her out of school, and give her a big hug. thank you so much. Thank you for having me. ⁓ you've been an absolute wonderfully, wonderfully insightful guest, and thank you for helping us decide whether we think the ⁓ the twisted worm was worth it. ⁓ I think we've got a question mark on there. We've got it if you if it's at home and you can you've got it, use it, but make sure you're engaging with it, with your little one. And maybe if you're wondering what to spend $18 on instead of this, then there's more creative things out there that you can try. So thank you so much. That's it for this episode of Worth It.
speaker-1: for having me.
speaker-0: If you've enjoyed this episode, please subscribe wherever you're listening or watching. It really helps us reach more parents who are trying to navigate pregnancy, postpartum, and early parenthood with confidence. And if you're looking for trusted support, you can join the Pregnant and Popped community completely free at pregnantandpops.com. Or if you know a product that you think deserves to be put to the test, or you have the expertise that could help mums and families, I'd love to hear from you. Send me a one-minute voice note telling me who you are, what you do, and why you'd be a great fit for the show. You can email me at Kathy at pregnantandpop.com or send a voice note to plus six five nine two nine five one zero three five. Straight Talking is produced by ⁓ Power, the team behind Pregnant and Popped. This episode was produced and edited by Kathy Rougier. Recording took place at the LFG Pod. I'm Kathy Rugier. This has been straight talking because you shouldn't have to Google motherhood.
speaker-1: Borrowing the lands from us, right? And reset the environment for them to further explore on their own.
speaker-0: Is it true then that we can buy toys that encourage these different developmental stages? Welcome to Straight Talking. I'm Kathy Rugier, and Worth It is the series from Straight Talking with Pregnant and Popped, where we ask whether popular motherhood and parenthood products are really worth your time, money, and mental load. And helping us decide whether it's really worth it today is Christine, who is an early learning and play expert and founder of Sunshine Pumpkin. Before we get started, If you're a parent trying to work out what's genuinely worth it and what's just clever marketing, make sure you subscribe so you don't miss future episodes of Worth It. And remember to check out Pregnant and Popped on Instagram, where we give away some of the best products we review, share exclusive discount codes for products that we genuinely think are worth it, and you'll find the links in the show notes below. Let's get Into it. Christine, before we start, you have absolutely no idea what is in that box, that bag. Yeah. No? Right, perfect. Let's keep it that way for a few more seconds. Based on your expertise, what is one product category that parents consistently spend too much money on?
speaker-1: Yes. What Hmm. I think I see a lot of parents buying cute things. They spend a lot of money on plushies. Especially in the ⁓ the first few months. Sometimes it's really mainly for the parent themselves. And they spend a lot of money on plushies, battery operated toys. There's toys that, you know, this I mean I'm not saying that it's completely low, but b because there's too many of it and there's Battery operator means it does not really have the back and forth communication amongst the parent, the adult and the child. Because mainly the product itself is doing the singing or talking and the child is the audience, just looking and listening. So there's no back and forth. And early language starts from right from birth. Even when the mum when the mom is pregnant, you know, when the mom's talking to the child, the child the baby is listening. So that's how language actually starts.
speaker-0: So the two way backwards and forwards is most important. Yes. Okay. So interesting. Well, let's see whether today's product falls into any of those categories. Okay. Okay, so open the box. Open the bag. Let's see what you think.
speaker-1: ⁓ I think this is exactly what I just mentioned! ⁓ well, let's sing. Literally put the battery in and start. And it starts to sing. Yeah. Well and he says he has three plus age, but I guess a lot of parents would like to buy for the younger one. Below three.
speaker-0: Yeah. Really interesting point. I'm so pleased that you said that. Now, before we go on, for the listeners, not the watchers, I want to explain what we've what you've got in front of you. And then I really want to go back to what you just said because it was it was a massive observation of mine as well when I bought it. So today's product is the music twisted worm. It's like a caterpillar on a moving base, and you put batteries into it, it plays a tune. Now I purchased it online from a company based in Singapore called Lion Tots. And at the time of purchase, it was reduced from $35.80 to $17.90. Okay, so it's it was on offer. Now, looking at the box, like you say, what can we see at the moment of other box? So we've got light features, we've got music features, what else have we got going on on there?
speaker-1: I'm not sure whether it spins or it moves. ⁓ lights. Different lights. I guess you can parents might use it for as a night light before bedtime thing.
speaker-0: Different lines. Judging by the video, and this is what I wanted to go back to, judging by the video, it's like probably a bit too crazy for before bed. So I thought exactly the same as you when I saw the 3 Plus, because the marketing, the website, and everything, if you go onto the website, it's got crawling babies. And it's being marketed as a product to encourage babies to crawl, like chase after it, that sort of thing. So That really threw me because like the website was definitely suggesting it's for babies, whereas when I got it out of the box it said three plus. Now we do know so many toys seem to say three plus, almost like a covering themselves type of ankle.
speaker-1: Yeah. And that's this is exactly what I actually teach in my toy selection masterclass because the three plus age usually is what the they like you say to cover themselves up. As you can see the batteries here, although it's like s for them to screw on, but sometimes the screw got get loose and the battery small parts and all things like that. So that's why they say to be safe, give it to a children who is three plus. But it's confusing because when we P as parents, we go online and we there's toy catalogs everywhere showing these kind of toys exactly for the infants. And we get confused and we think that, ⁓ this is it, because it keeps them entertained. It does keep them entertained because children this young they are very attracted to lights. Shiny bright things. Catch that catch their attention. Yeah. Just like our our home, our light, when we switch it on, you will see immediately they will be so amazed. So that's why these kind of toys keep them engaged, but parents miss out on point that engaging should have back and forth. Just how when we change n nappy, we talk to them, we go on a walk in the park, we talk to them, there's back and forth. Although the back is to the parents is not in words, but it's their response. They are actually just listening and absorbing.
speaker-0: And I guess learning vocabulary when we're talking backwards and forwards. So probably on a product or there's a lot of products out there that we know or we guess that they put their three plus ages on from almost like a liability perspective. They just want to make sure that they cover themselves and say, But there's a lot of really well thought out toys that still have ages on them. You know, you'll see naught to six plus, you know, three to t to twelve months, that sort of thing. Yeah. Like How much can we take that those recommendations, even from products that you might say are really good products, how much do we need to listen to the age recommendations?
speaker-1: I would still look at the age recommendation and judging at my child's my child's interests. So say for example, a block, a wooden block. It's open-ended, right? So usually parents will say, ⁓ no, my my baby can't play with for sure. I am at least three years old. But what as parents we perceive as play is different, right? Play in s comes in stages. So I would actually I give my eight-month-old wooden block because as parents what I can show him is if I stack it, what happens? And if I push it, what happens? And he's watching. And actually, there's one time he attempted to stack one block on top of another. And I feel as long as the item is safe, there's no small parts, it's not so heavy, there are wooden blocks who are very heavy that it might you know hurt the child who's under four. So we try wooden blocks that are it you can get it from IKEA, those usual wooden blocks that's not much of a shape for them to really even the shape one is fine actually. To let them feel the texture of it. A triangle is is formed this way, a square is formed this way. So children actually learn things gradually. So what I'm trying to say is that parents they tend to have the possession of how place should be. like when they purchase something. So when they purchase, say a plushie, okay, it's for my daughter because ⁓ it's for her pretemplate. She she treats it as her her baby, you know. For my son I should buy cars because he's into cars now.
speaker-0: Okay, so we put our preconceptions onto what play should look like a lot of the time. Yes.
speaker-1: Because oftentimes as adults we forgot how play looks like when we were a child. And we see a lot of play now as an adult, maybe based on what we see online or when we go for workshops, there's pictures. So pictures give the perception that okay, this is how play should be. Even I always tell my clients that, you know, play play looks like anything your child is doing. Even when they're sticking a wooden spoon, banging onto the table, they are learning. So play is learning. To them. Yeah. Yeah. It's not an answer to pain when.
speaker-0: I still remember playing as a young kid. So not baby age, like a bit older. And this is going to well, I am old, but this is gonna make me sound really old. But I remember my dad having a big plastic drum that he used to like get from work, like a big water butt. And he s cut like a circle out of it. So essentially he made like a hoop, like a ring out of it, and he sanded down the edges. So it wasn't, you know, it was smooth and like nice for me to hold. And he cut a branch off of our apple tree and he kind of whittled it down a little bit. No word of black. I know I literally sound like something out of the 1930s now, but this was the this is the 1980s, not the 1930s. And he showed me how to run down the street with the branch, like whipping the hoop to make the hoop.
speaker-1: What
speaker-0: Well. Wow. And it's one of the only play things that I can remember. Like d I I mean, don't get me wrong, I remember like my first bike and things like that as well. But like it really stuck in my head how this plastic hoop and this branch off the apple tree was was playing. Yeah. Like and it's such a simple concept. It's like you say with the bricks like you know, stacking them. Yeah. And I guess it's open ended.
speaker-1: Okay.
speaker-0: play when you play like that. It could be it could lead to anything. They can build anything.
speaker-1: Yeah, yeah, and exactly like you say because I I mean I believe that this this memory stuck in you because it's a very fond memory that you spent with your father and it's the connection that was built along play. Yeah.
speaker-0: Yeah, yeah, like I sat and watched him. I watched him make that. Yeah. Yeah. And it and it was like the thing it did it didn't come from like because we couldn't afford toys or anything like that. It was just an idea he had. he had the skills to be able to do it. Yeah. ⁓ so yeah, like 'cause you think now we buy so much stuff. And so. I mean I'm I'm a hundred percent guilty of it. ⁓ I like I'm I'm very guilty of buying the plushies as well. ⁓ So ⁓ but you're right in the sense you can s you can see and feel the difference with the little one. When it's like not necessarily one to one, but when they're getting human reaction and in interaction, I guess that's right.
speaker-1: Yes. Stefana. Yeah. Yes. And I must say, given in this day and age where technology is not I wouldn't say taking over, but it's really the main part of our life right now where interactions has already been like minimized. I really think that, you know, from a young age where parents can put their device away. I'm not saying the whole day, right? Our our baby can't stay a awake for too long, even though they're awake for three hours, but three hours constantly some Changing IP, feeding, you know, maybe they after you change the nape you have to change again. So maybe the real sit down, talking, playing is about half an hour. So that moment really treasure it and show them that we are living we are a living thing, you know. So try not to give too much of the things that keep them entertained and there's no back and forth. Like for example, battery operated. Yeah.
speaker-0: Yes. So thinking of that, because there's gonna be people, you know, watching and listening that either have this toy or have similar toys. Like we've all we've all got them, you know, we've all been given them. We've all opened boxes on birthdays and and got electronic toys that light up and sing and dance and do all the other. So let's assume we've got them at home. What can parents do with those toys? Like is there a way that you can still make them useful, that you can still create those meaningful moments?
speaker-1: Yes. So even like you say, given to me as ⁓ my my son was given by ⁓ Miss Clashy that has that sings to him. And he likes it from the beginning, but I only use it on s at certain time, at certain place in the house. So I'm very I talk about zones in the play area, right? So this belongs to where he drinks his meal. Because it you know it's something that he can pet. He can look at it, it lights up and it sings to him. So until today he's eight months old. He hardly goes to it because he has other toys, but he will remember that particular toy when it's mealtime.
speaker-0: Interesting. Yes. So linking it to to certain things. Yes.
speaker-1: So right he's at the age right now where he can grab and he will insist on certain certain things. So I'm very strict on like there's no toys in the in the in the bedroom because for sleeping but if I see certain toys that keeps him calm and you know at the right mood to go into the slumber for example that toy that sings to him I will let him bring in bring it in
speaker-0: And do you interact with him with that toy as well?
speaker-1: Yes. So I will say, ⁓ look at it you know, I will use the the plushie's hand and pat him and say he's singing to you and then I will sing alongside Plush. Yeah.
speaker-0: So really created that engagement, that interaction.
speaker-1: So it's still engaging with the child. But I I do s I must say that because of this this thing that instilled right at the beginning, at four months old people were telling me, ⁓ no, you know, your child can't can't be at the play area, they won't be playing. But because I know playing looks differently, I've been putting him in the play area since he's four months old. Now there are times that I could stand away for a good half twenty minutes to do things on my own when he's engaged playing by himself. And the area.
speaker-0: So is it a question of giving the time in advance, like spending the early weeks and months doing the one to one interaction and then you might be able to benefit from toys like this in the sense of you've already put those foundations in, or is it something different?
speaker-1: So like I say, everything that's given to us, of course, we wouldn't want to throw it away. There are things that's quite expensive when it's even though battery operated, right? So the foundation there like is is the parents are still there showing them the toy. So it's not just put there in the crib here self-entertained, right? And because when the child feels safe enough, they they will feel confident that okay, if I don't see you, I'm still safe.
speaker-0: Okay. Yes. Okay. And I mean
speaker-1: There are days, right? There are days that my son will no 10 minutes, no, come back, come back. 20 minutes, sometimes 45 minutes, he will be fine by himself. So I always say, respond to your child. So even though you can say that, yeah, my child can play by himself, but it's even ourselves, we have our moods, right? So we can can't expect our child to be, wow, every day, 30 minutes, leave me alone while I go, you know, get a coffee and get my breakfast. So there are days.
speaker-0: praying for that though. I remember praying to like the baby gods. There has to be a toy out there that that can give me that. But yeah, the the baby gods never quite delivered on that one.
speaker-1: it really depends on temperament. Sometimes some child some children they really do need more one to one to a certain age. I've seen one one or two that they will be just clinging on to the mom up to one, one and a half. But because of the foundation that has been set, the trust that the child's been given, she flourished. She she's doing very well in school. This one of my my students. That's so cool. Yeah, so the The I mean the first one year the mom is the only one, you know, she can't pass it to the father because the child will be screaming. So, you know, it's the it's really the mom or the parent, you know, maybe it's the dad. Real the work of the parents. So toys are there to supplement to our parenting, but it's really us. Some children actually just need us to be there and fully there. ⁓ we don't need to entertain them all the time. Sometimes my entertainment with my son is just sitting down. We are looking at the trees outside. Quiet time. Just that. And him feeling my presence, just touching him. And sometimes I say one or two words like, Yes, look, the trees are s the trees are swaying because there's wind. That's it. We don't have to go into like, ⁓ because the wind. We go into the whole scientific explanation of it. Yeah. Sometimes yeah, just teach them the The the essence of just being, right? Which is something that with this past pace life we have already lost it.
speaker-0: ⁓ I've totally lost that skill. Totally lost that skill. I was trying really hard. I was having a manicure yesterday. And I was trying so hard to relax. Like because I could feel like she was telling me off because my hands were tense. You know, like how you don't give your hands to like you don't relax and she can't move things. And I was like, ⁓ yeah, sorry. I'd like trying to relax and then I'd then I'd
speaker-1: Ha ha.
speaker-0: Desperately I'd close my eyes and like think of nothing and then like work or something to do with my daughter would come into my brain and I'd I'd start flicking on my phone and then she'd be like, You're tense again I was like, sorry, sorry. 'Cause I I literally we can't stop still anymore. Like we don't we don't have that skill. Or a lot of us don't have that skill.
speaker-1: Yeah.
speaker-0: I guess something I've always found with like the noisy toys, the flashy toys, all of that, like as an adult that is already overwhelmed. So we've already layered up like quite a lot of stimulation. Yeah. ⁓ and not just on a daily basis. I mean like we wake up feeling stimulated from the day before and the day before and the year before and the year before and the year before. Like it's you it's like it's all built up in our nervous system. And I absolutely suffer from the the overstimulation of toys. So as a parent, for me. Like trying to even interact with them. Trying to do all the right things. Be right, we've got this toy. There's and I know that there's lots of things I can do with it. I know I can talk about the colours. I can talk about the shapes on it. I th I I know that there's lots of interactive ways I can use that toy, but just when I hit that button, ⁓ I would I would like How long do I have to have this going? Like I really like I personally found it quite overstimulating to have noisy toys. But I'm not everyone. And you know, a lot of a lot of people are big kids at heart. Yeah, there's lot of adults that will literally laugh and chuckle at the twisted music worm like dancing around and they'll really enjoy it. And I guess maybe they would have a different relationship with their child around that stuff. It's one of the sort of parents that enjoy Disney World more than me. Do you know what I mean? I can't even do Disney World without like I think I probably need to bear one of those headphones. You know, like how you you see kids going around that get overstimulated really easily and they they have their their the pods on. I I probably need some of those myself. So it was $18. Well just under $18. It was on sale. If I gave you $18 right now.
speaker-1: Right.
speaker-0: What would what would you go out and get? So if a parent hasn't already got this and I gave you $18, what would you get with the $18?
speaker-1: Say before below 1 euro. Yeah 1 euro 18 dollars I will go to Ikea and get the wooden block. And I think it should, if I'm not mistaken, it could have some change left. I will buy some paints. Okay. Messy paint. Okay. Yeah.
speaker-0: Nice. Okay. So paints paints and wooden blocks below one year old. So really stuff for like open ended, creative. Yes. That's what parents should be looking for at that stage.
speaker-1: That this is something given that it's we have limited space in where we live in right now, I would not buy too many. Because already, you know, it's a tradition. I mean, especially the Asian culture, right? When there's ⁓ we have the hundred-day celebration, we have the one-month celebration, we have all this celebration. People are giving toys. So I would as a parent, I wouldn't buy, say If I know that these are toys that parents people would usually give me, I would not buy it. I will buy toys that last. So, like I say, there's different stages of play. So we have to remove the perception that okay, it's a wooden block, you have to build it. It's a triangle, you have to feel the edges. Yeah. This is a ball, you have to throw it to me. So to me,
speaker-0: No.
speaker-1: If you ask me as a parent, I would say these are the toys that you can buy. And there are brands out there who sell really high quality wooden blocks that is ⁓ say, you know, they have they have their own way of marketing it, how do how how it's being used. If you have more budget, you can use it. Or if not just get a very simple wooden block from Ikea. And again
speaker-0: Because a lot of the ⁓ like the price difference between things like wooden rocks tends to be leaning towards the sustainability aspect. You know, where the woods come from. You know, if it's been mined by special pixies from a special forest, you know, that eternally is gonna like be sustainable, then it costs more and it's been dyed by special non toxic. Bluebells from a special wood or something, you know what I mean? Like yeah, then it's it costs more. But then you've got like your standard ones, which normally sit like this there's safety regulations that like all of the good brands should be following. So in terms of like the toxicity and all of that, you look on the label, but you obviously can get like levels of you know these wonderfully thought out, sustainable.
speaker-1: Yeah. Thanks. But I something came in mind. I believe our listeners may think then what about those toys that it's meant for, you know, to train the pincer grid, to train the certain muscles and things like that. Does that mean that since I say open-ended is something that I would buy, should I not buy the rest? Yeah. I always tell parents when I set up the play area for them, there is routines in the day, schedule in the day. So we allow just like in a school, right? We allow free play time. And we allow structured playtime. So during struct free playtime, they are also learning. They're learning pencil grid when they they can't hold this ball. Okay, I must use two hands. They are learning concepts of their own. But when it's structured one-to-one, then that's when you give certain toys this, you know, to train the pencil grid, to to teach about object permanence and and things like that. So they are toys there's different functions and it's just how we plan the day. and how we introduce it to our child.
speaker-0: Okay, so I guess actually coming back to this then, because whilst it's not necessarily on the on this image, certainly on the website, this was absolutely marketed as encouraging crawling.
speaker-1: So I guess it moves.
speaker-0: It does. It does. It moves across the floor and it like sings its little tune and it wiggles as it goes. At least that's what it said on the website. ⁓ and I'll ⁓ I'll make sure there's a link for people to to see to see what it does. And you could see babies, you know, actively being I wanna get the caterpillar ⁓ and trying to crawl to follow it. So it is it true then that we can buy toys that encourage these different developmental stages?
speaker-1: Definitely. Definitely. If if you ask me, I would use other things to encourage crawling. Putting things just a little bit further. Because you know, babies they just they will be attracted by certain things. Like for my son, he's particularly attracted to my husband's spec spectacles. So we use it. ⁓
speaker-0: As a spectacle wearer, I know exactly what he's talking about. Strangers babies get attracted to my spectacles.
speaker-1: No, he's always grabbing the husband's spectacle. So we use it to introduce crawling and encourage him to crawl. But if let's say this is something that's given to you and if you can give him give the child a space, so it's really how we introduce it to our child. A big space, just this, without other distraction. Yeah, for sure. Because I I know some babies who just refuse to crawl. And although it some some parents I know when they compare with other babies they get worried. But I always say no, don't don't worry because every child although there's a milestone there, it's a guideline. It's not something that you have to achieve by this time. Some babies are earlier, some babies are later. So you want to introduce crawling or encourage crawling, especially for babies who really just have not much intention to crawl, although during that window they are supposed to be crawling. You can try something like this, but make sure that round eight there's no other distractions. No other worms or you know car that's moving, that's also trying to fight for his attention. Yeah. Like you say, some everyone will only react differently to stimulus, right? Maybe there's too many flashy likes. Okay, I shut up. I don't wanna do any.
speaker-0: Yeah. Yeah, I know, but then then they might end up like me, totally overstipulated by noisy toys. ⁓
speaker-1: this is though, but if it's too noisy, I would not recommend. Really.
speaker-0: No, I guess it I mean I guess it it attracts their attention. But like you say, putting a light on attracts their attention. Yeah. Christine, before I ask my final question, there will be parents listening who think, I need more help with this. So for the parents out there that are thinking, so much of that, you know, made sense and I want more help from Christine, how can they get help from you on this?
speaker-1: Okay, this year we have launched workshops that teach parents exactly how to select the toys. And the ⁓ the thing that I'm doing actively right now is a play consultation where I would go to your house, observe your child, s and see your child's interests, your play environment, your family's needs. So I really look into parents' needs as well to build a system that works for you and your child. So your child can engage longer, or if you understand what's independent play. I hope to remove or minimize, I always say reminimize your guilt and knowing that okay, I know I'm doing something right. And I have to go back to the mantra that what is learning at this age? Learning is really they are they are at this age, they are really borrowing the lens from us, right? We how they see the world is through us. and reset their environment for them to further explore on their own. So this is something that I provide, a consultation where I go to you, help you to build a system for you and your child.
speaker-0: Wow, so useful for parents. Yeah. Especially when we're so busy and we don't you know, we haven't got time to Google all the answers and work it all out ourselves.
speaker-1: Yes, and I always say because there's a lot, like you say, a lot of information out there. And when we see a properly set up ⁓ mm no a Montessori inspired space, but we forgot that probably this person has a very big space that's dedicated just for the child. In Singapore we may not have the space, but does that mean that we cannot teach independence? That's not true. Yeah. We can use everyday things around whether you have the A lot of budget for your child space or no budget, just one whatever you have at home. I can do that too. ⁓
speaker-0: ⁓ I love it. I love it. So, Christine, my final question that I ask every guest on Straight Talking. Imagine I gave you access to every parent in Singapore for one WhatsApp message. What message would you send them?
speaker-1: I would say that what your child, so as parents, we always always want to give them the best, which is perfectly fine. But what your child really, really wants is really just you. Your presence and your undivided attention to them that worth more than a million dollars. More than any toys. When they are fascinated by a toy, they want That toy because they they they think of the possible things that they can do with you. And that is a bond that we want to instill and strengthen right from the beginning. Because as they grow older, we have teenagers, you know, they're where they have they go through another phase of you know confused and finding themselves. We want them to always know to come back to us because we are their safe space and we can always support them.
speaker-0: I want to cry now. I want to go grab my daughter, pull her out of school, and give her a big hug. thank you so much. Thank you for having me. ⁓ you've been an absolute wonderfully, wonderfully insightful guest, and thank you for helping us decide whether we think the ⁓ the twisted worm was worth it. ⁓ I think we've got a question mark on there. We've got it if you if it's at home and you can you've got it, use it, but make sure you're engaging with it, with your little one. And maybe if you're wondering what to spend $18 on instead of this, then there's more creative things out there that you can try. So thank you so much. That's it for this episode of Worth It.
speaker-1: for having me.
speaker-0: If you've enjoyed this episode, please subscribe wherever you're listening or watching. It really helps us reach more parents who are trying to navigate pregnancy, postpartum, and early parenthood with confidence. And if you're looking for trusted support, you can join the Pregnant and Popped community completely free at pregnantandpops.com. Or if you know a product that you think deserves to be put to the test, or you have the expertise that could help mums and families, I'd love to hear from you. Send me a one-minute voice note telling me who you are, what you do, and why you'd be a great fit for the show. You can email me at Kathy at pregnantandpop.com or send a voice note to plus six five nine two nine five one zero three five. Straight Talking is produced by ⁓ Power, the team behind Pregnant and Popped. This episode was produced and edited by Kathy Rougier. Recording took place at the LFG Pod. I'm Kathy Rugier. This has been straight talking because you shouldn't have to Google motherhood.
