WEBVTT
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Hey there, sometimes when I lead groups, I start with an exercise I created called Vent and Victory.
00:00:32.701 --> 00:00:35.347
I thought we might play around with it a little bit today.
00:00:35.347 --> 00:00:51.364
The idea is that we all share something that happened that we feel the need to blow off some steam about, or vent, you know, to let it out and then also to share something that we're celebrating or that we're feeling victorious about.
00:00:51.364 --> 00:01:27.171
It could be a big thing or a little thing, it could be something that you overcame, and what people realize when they do this, especially in a group environment, is that when they share something that made them angry or frustrated and say it out loud, it actually kind of takes some power away from it and in fact, in addition to releasing the energy that you've been holding on to about it, it almost allows you to diminish the importance of it, almost to be able to remove yourself from it and laugh at it.
00:01:27.171 --> 00:01:31.150
It just doesn't sound so big when you say it out loud.
00:01:31.150 --> 00:01:37.433
This works differently than when people are venting about the same thing and they're compiling.
00:01:37.433 --> 00:01:44.093
What I mean by that is, in my exercise it's in a coaching space.
00:01:44.093 --> 00:01:48.811
It's in a space where we all listen and hold space, like a coach does for a client.
00:01:48.811 --> 00:01:59.769
But when people vent and vent to each other and comment on the venting and compile it, well, I call that water coolering.
00:01:59.769 --> 00:02:44.389
And it's funny I say water cooler because I'm imagining, I don't know, you know, some kind of gathering at an office when people step away from their desk and, well, need to blow off, steam adds on and you start to just circulate it and it grows, doing quite the opposite to my exercise and really giving it more power, to be honest, right, stirring it up, making it more vital and present, whereas the venting in my coaching circles we hold each other as we vent.
00:02:44.389 --> 00:02:48.574
We don't jump into the ring and say me too, and that's the difference.
00:02:48.574 --> 00:02:58.155
So once we've all shared our vent without anyone commenting, we share victory.
00:02:59.441 --> 00:03:17.246
We draw our awareness around something that we would consider a victory that day or that week, something we've overcome, or since we've seen each other, things that come up here are the things that well, things we might not have considered before, that we might have taken for granted.
00:03:17.246 --> 00:03:26.009
But when we draw our awareness around, focusing on these prompts that we might otherwise overlook, we make them more significant.
00:03:26.009 --> 00:03:45.830
We make our strengths more significant, because a highlight is usually something that has something to do with you overcoming something, or getting through or finishing or accomplishing or generating something right and well and well.
00:03:45.830 --> 00:03:47.292
This is where we honor ourselves.
00:03:47.292 --> 00:03:50.655
I feel good about dot dot dot.
00:03:50.655 --> 00:03:59.139
I'm celebrating dot dot dot.
00:03:59.139 --> 00:04:04.883
My victory is that I made it through the week and I took good care of myself, for instance.
00:04:04.924 --> 00:04:38.394
So it's really interesting because, whereas with the vent, with no one commenting on it, we disempower it, we reduce its significance, but with the victory something that you might have previously overlooked when we bring that to the forefront, when we bring our wins to the forefront, we are much more able to give that importance and to shift our energy.
00:04:38.394 --> 00:04:39.355
It's huge.
00:04:39.355 --> 00:04:55.471
It's well known in science that we are hardwired to see the negative, but when we start to focus more and draw our awareness around the positive, around the wins, well, it's a kind of clearing process.
00:04:55.471 --> 00:05:06.523
It's a space creator and it's a wonderful thing to do before you step in to a meeting or a rehearsal or a dinner with your partner, whatever it might be.
00:05:06.523 --> 00:05:10.288
Let's give it a try right here, right now.
00:05:10.288 --> 00:05:15.100
If you have a piece of paper, go ahead and write it down.
00:05:15.100 --> 00:05:17.557
If not, just give it some thought.
00:05:19.750 --> 00:05:28.761
I want you just to consider something that you might consider a vent, something you'd like to vent about and why, and go ahead and write it down.
00:05:28.761 --> 00:05:50.161
And, if you're able, I want you to read it back or say it back to yourself without judgment, and notice what the process of bringing it to the forefront does when you write about it or think about it again or say it out loud Doesn't seem as important, does it as when it was stewing inside of you.
00:05:50.161 --> 00:06:00.620
And now I want you to consider something that you consider a victory, something that was a win for you recently.
00:06:00.620 --> 00:06:03.119
Go ahead and close your eyes in this case.
00:06:03.119 --> 00:06:05.978
Close your eyes and embody it, if you want.
00:06:05.978 --> 00:06:17.720
I want you to really think about it, something that happened, and ask yourself what was it about me that helped make that happen?
00:06:17.720 --> 00:06:19.302
And then own it.
00:06:21.190 --> 00:06:29.416
Guys, vent and victory is a great exercise if you are working with a team, but it's also great if you're working with yourself.
00:06:29.416 --> 00:06:31.997
I just wanted to share it with you.
00:06:31.997 --> 00:06:45.139
So, again, the key takeaway from this is to think about something that you've been holding on to or bitching about quite honestly, and stop doing that.
00:06:45.139 --> 00:06:54.459
Say it out loud, with no one jumping on board, and ask yourself was it really that bad?
00:06:54.459 --> 00:07:11.446
Do you really want to give it that much significance and then use that energy, use that space to feel and remember and select a victory.
00:07:11.446 --> 00:07:18.081
Start to really recognize the things that are going well for you, because they're there, you guys.
00:07:18.081 --> 00:07:21.319
So no more hanging around the water cooler.
00:07:21.319 --> 00:07:27.389
All right, try the vent in victory and let me know how it's going.
00:07:29.413 --> 00:07:30.935
Thanks so much for listening, you guys.
00:07:30.935 --> 00:07:33.079
And again, the book is out.
00:07:33.079 --> 00:07:35.625
The link is in the bio.
00:07:35.625 --> 00:07:37.028
I am super excited.
00:07:37.028 --> 00:07:40.600
I've had such incredible responses already from you guys that are reading it.
00:07:40.600 --> 00:07:42.105
Please, please, please.
00:07:42.105 --> 00:07:45.654
If you've not picked up the places where there are spaces, go for it.
00:07:45.654 --> 00:07:47.600
It's going to help you.
00:07:47.600 --> 00:07:51.535
There's exercises in there and I just want to share it with you.
00:07:51.535 --> 00:07:55.163
So lots of love and thanks so much for listening.
00:07:55.163 --> 00:07:56.392
I am Lisa Hopkins.
00:07:56.392 --> 00:08:00.074
Stay safe and healthy and remember to live in the moment.
00:00:23.940 --> 00:00:32.701
Hey there, sometimes when I lead groups, I start with an exercise I created called Vent and Victory.
00:00:32.701 --> 00:00:35.347
I thought we might play around with it a little bit today.
00:00:35.347 --> 00:00:51.364
The idea is that we all share something that happened that we feel the need to blow off some steam about, or vent, you know, to let it out and then also to share something that we're celebrating or that we're feeling victorious about.
00:00:51.364 --> 00:01:27.171
It could be a big thing or a little thing, it could be something that you overcame, and what people realize when they do this, especially in a group environment, is that when they share something that made them angry or frustrated and say it out loud, it actually kind of takes some power away from it and in fact, in addition to releasing the energy that you've been holding on to about it, it almost allows you to diminish the importance of it, almost to be able to remove yourself from it and laugh at it.
00:01:27.171 --> 00:01:31.150
It just doesn't sound so big when you say it out loud.
00:01:31.150 --> 00:01:37.433
This works differently than when people are venting about the same thing and they're compiling.
00:01:37.433 --> 00:01:44.093
What I mean by that is, in my exercise it's in a coaching space.
00:01:44.093 --> 00:01:48.811
It's in a space where we all listen and hold space, like a coach does for a client.
00:01:48.811 --> 00:01:59.769
But when people vent and vent to each other and comment on the venting and compile it, well, I call that water coolering.
00:01:59.769 --> 00:02:44.389
And it's funny I say water cooler because I'm imagining, I don't know, you know, some kind of gathering at an office when people step away from their desk and, well, need to blow off, steam adds on and you start to just circulate it and it grows, doing quite the opposite to my exercise and really giving it more power, to be honest, right, stirring it up, making it more vital and present, whereas the venting in my coaching circles we hold each other as we vent.
00:02:44.389 --> 00:02:48.574
We don't jump into the ring and say me too, and that's the difference.
00:02:48.574 --> 00:02:58.155
So once we've all shared our vent without anyone commenting, we share victory.
00:02:59.441 --> 00:03:17.246
We draw our awareness around something that we would consider a victory that day or that week, something we've overcome, or since we've seen each other, things that come up here are the things that well, things we might not have considered before, that we might have taken for granted.
00:03:17.246 --> 00:03:26.009
But when we draw our awareness around, focusing on these prompts that we might otherwise overlook, we make them more significant.
00:03:26.009 --> 00:03:45.830
We make our strengths more significant, because a highlight is usually something that has something to do with you overcoming something, or getting through or finishing or accomplishing or generating something right and well and well.
00:03:45.830 --> 00:03:47.292
This is where we honor ourselves.
00:03:47.292 --> 00:03:50.655
I feel good about dot dot dot.
00:03:50.655 --> 00:03:59.139
I'm celebrating dot dot dot.
00:03:59.139 --> 00:04:04.883
My victory is that I made it through the week and I took good care of myself, for instance.
00:04:04.924 --> 00:04:38.394
So it's really interesting because, whereas with the vent, with no one commenting on it, we disempower it, we reduce its significance, but with the victory something that you might have previously overlooked when we bring that to the forefront, when we bring our wins to the forefront, we are much more able to give that importance and to shift our energy.
00:04:38.394 --> 00:04:39.355
It's huge.
00:04:39.355 --> 00:04:55.471
It's well known in science that we are hardwired to see the negative, but when we start to focus more and draw our awareness around the positive, around the wins, well, it's a kind of clearing process.
00:04:55.471 --> 00:05:06.523
It's a space creator and it's a wonderful thing to do before you step in to a meeting or a rehearsal or a dinner with your partner, whatever it might be.
00:05:06.523 --> 00:05:10.288
Let's give it a try right here, right now.
00:05:10.288 --> 00:05:15.100
If you have a piece of paper, go ahead and write it down.
00:05:15.100 --> 00:05:17.557
If not, just give it some thought.
00:05:19.750 --> 00:05:28.761
I want you just to consider something that you might consider a vent, something you'd like to vent about and why, and go ahead and write it down.
00:05:28.761 --> 00:05:50.161
And, if you're able, I want you to read it back or say it back to yourself without judgment, and notice what the process of bringing it to the forefront does when you write about it or think about it again or say it out loud Doesn't seem as important, does it as when it was stewing inside of you.
00:05:50.161 --> 00:06:00.620
And now I want you to consider something that you consider a victory, something that was a win for you recently.
00:06:00.620 --> 00:06:03.119
Go ahead and close your eyes in this case.
00:06:03.119 --> 00:06:05.978
Close your eyes and embody it, if you want.
00:06:05.978 --> 00:06:17.720
I want you to really think about it, something that happened, and ask yourself what was it about me that helped make that happen?
00:06:17.720 --> 00:06:19.302
And then own it.
00:06:21.190 --> 00:06:29.416
Guys, vent and victory is a great exercise if you are working with a team, but it's also great if you're working with yourself.
00:06:29.416 --> 00:06:31.997
I just wanted to share it with you.
00:06:31.997 --> 00:06:45.139
So, again, the key takeaway from this is to think about something that you've been holding on to or bitching about quite honestly, and stop doing that.
00:06:45.139 --> 00:06:54.459
Say it out loud, with no one jumping on board, and ask yourself was it really that bad?
00:06:54.459 --> 00:07:11.446
Do you really want to give it that much significance and then use that energy, use that space to feel and remember and select a victory.
00:07:11.446 --> 00:07:18.081
Start to really recognize the things that are going well for you, because they're there, you guys.
00:07:18.081 --> 00:07:21.319
So no more hanging around the water cooler.
00:07:21.319 --> 00:07:27.389
All right, try the vent in victory and let me know how it's going.
00:07:29.413 --> 00:07:30.935
Thanks so much for listening, you guys.
00:07:30.935 --> 00:07:33.079
And again, the book is out.
00:07:33.079 --> 00:07:35.625
The link is in the bio.
00:07:35.625 --> 00:07:37.028
I am super excited.
00:07:37.028 --> 00:07:40.600
I've had such incredible responses already from you guys that are reading it.
00:07:40.600 --> 00:07:42.105
Please, please, please.
00:07:42.105 --> 00:07:45.654
If you've not picked up the places where there are spaces, go for it.
00:07:45.654 --> 00:07:47.600
It's going to help you.
00:07:47.600 --> 00:07:51.535
There's exercises in there and I just want to share it with you.
00:07:51.535 --> 00:07:55.163
So lots of love and thanks so much for listening.
00:07:55.163 --> 00:07:56.392
I am Lisa Hopkins.
00:07:56.392 --> 00:08:00.074
Stay safe and healthy and remember to live in the moment.
