WEBVTT
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Okay.
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I don't know what I'm doing, so we're just gonna start.
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Hey, what's going on?
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It's it's been a minute.
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Um I I don't even know why I'm here, but I'm here.
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Um I didn't think I'd end up back on any kind of podcast.
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I didn't think I'd end up sitting here recording again, but I guess God had different plans.
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Um let's just let's just back up a minute.
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Let's just take a breath.
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Hey, I've missed you guys.
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It's been a really long time.
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If you're new here and you're thinking, okay, what's our problem?
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What is going on?
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It it it's been a long road.
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It's been a long, it's been a long road to get to where we are.
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Um little backstory here.
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So my husband and I used to be true crime podcasters, and that feels like an absolute lifetime ago, let me just say.
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But we were a part of a podcast called Booked, Bagged, and Tagged, and we did that for two years, and it it would it did really well, I will say, and I'm very proud of what we did with it, but it got to be a lot, um, where everybody was getting, you know, the two episodes a week and a bonus episode, and that was only like three hours for you know, two to three hours a week for everybody else.
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I was like sitting in that darkness researching constantly, and it really started to take a toll on me.
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And God decided that it was it was time to be done with that.
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That was scary, that was a very scary leap because while my husband was the breadwinner, of course, all of the money that I got from the podcast and TikTok and different things, that was like our extra money, our fun money, and we had gotten very used to that extra fun money.
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So I listened, I obeyed, and I stopped, booked, bagged, and tagged.
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In the meantime, we started something sweeter podcast because I was like, obviously, God wanted me to stop booked, bagged, and tagged to start a Christian podcast because that just makes so much sense.
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While I don't think that was a bad idea, I do not think that I was ready for that.
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I I just don't.
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I don't think that I was bold enough or wise enough or even strong enough in my faith to do what I was doing.
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And I'm very thankful for everybody who followed us over from our old face or our old podcast to the new podcast.
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It was a drastic difference, I will say, but I'm very happy to have those of you who have followed along.
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And I want to explain kind of where I've been for the last two years, which is crazy to say.
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Um, I, when I was pregnant with my youngest, I had started an early childhood degree and never finished.
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And after we finished the podcast, I was like we had paused something sweeter.
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I was gonna pull my kids and homeschool them.
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And we ended up not doing that.
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So I ended up going into the school system with the kids instead.
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And and it was it was interesting, I will say.
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I learned a lot, but while I went into the school with the kids, I went back to school as well.
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So I decided to finish out my degree, and I had every intention on you know, having my own classroom, doing my own thing, teaching, because I I love kids, I do, and I did that for two years.
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I subbed, I paired, I finished my degree, I was doing youth leader stuff.
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Like I was so busy, and I think I was just grasping at straws at anything that I could to give me some kind of sense of worthiness because I went from being like up on top of the mountain, which what I thought was a top of a mountain with booked bagged and tagged and it being so successful, to canceling that show, starting another one that didn't get as much traction, and then canceling or pausing that one.
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And I think I was struggling with feeling like I was somebody to feeling like I was a nobody.
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And I know that is so superficial in the grand scheme of things, and you know, oh poor Bridget, you know, she didn't feel famous.
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No, that's not what it was, but like I had people messaging me, talking to me constantly when we did the other podcast to it, just went like radio static, quiet, like it nobody cared, and not that they should, I understand that, but it was just very jarring for me.
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And so I'm finishing my degree and I'm doing all these things, and last fall I had the crazy idea, like, what if I started podcasting again?
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Podcasting again, there we go.
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And it was just a thought that I played with for a really long time, but I never ended up going anywhere with it.
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But in the same sense, at that time, God was like, Hey, what about homeschool?
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And I'm like, bro, what?
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Like I'm finishing, like I'm graduating with my degree.
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What do you mean?
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What about homeschool?
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And I'm like, okay, well, you know, if it's your idea, if it's your plan, you know, water it.
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You know, I'll just do whatever you tell me to do.
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Long story short, a job that I absolutely loved started feeling like it was taking everything I had.
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It was like I came home and there was nothing left to pour out of my cup.
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There was nothing left in my cup for my family.
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And I just I couldn't do it anymore.
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And I don't, it was literally one of those things where I said, God, if it's not for me, take it.
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And boy, did he give me whiplash when he took it because I remember sitting here talking to Andy one day and I'm like, I don't, I don't want to do this.
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He's like, why?
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Like, I don't know.
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Like, I love kids, I love doing what I do, but also I don't want to do it.
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So I was like, okay, whatever.
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So I started praying about homeschool.
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Well, we ended up doing that this year.
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We pulled our kids out at the end of the year, and we started homeschool.
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Now, hear me when I say I loved my job because I worked with my sister and occasionally my brother.
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And for us three to be in the same building together, that was fun.
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That was a lot of fun.
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And I love the kids.
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There's still so many of these babies that I see, and I just want to like squeeze them.
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I love them so, so much.
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It wasn't that the kids or anything like that, and it wasn't even the people that I worked with, it was just the atmosphere of what was going on.
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I couldn't do it anymore.
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So, like I said, I ended up pulling out the boys, and we started homeschooled this August, and it has been the biggest blessing.
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Like, I have enjoyed this so much.
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I get to spend every day with my boys.
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We're, you know, starting out the day in our little devotional, and we're praying, and I feel like I'm pouring into my kids more than I ever have, and to see them grow in what they're learning because of me, like because I'm giving them this, it is so fulfilling.
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And I've been praying and praying, and oh my God, I know that, you know, first and foremost, my first calling on this earth is to be a mother, and it always has been.
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Like I knew before I had babies of my own that I was called to be a mom, and I struggled with that because I didn't think that that was gonna happen for me.
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But God, you know, his timing is everything, and so I knew this was what I was meant to do, but I also knew that, and y'all have heard me say it if you've listened to um something sweeter before in the old podcast episodes, which I'm gonna try to upload.
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Um, I've also been called in other ways.
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And my God confirmed one of my or my calling is to use my voice.
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And I have no idea what that means.
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So I'm like praying and I'm asking God, like, okay, what do you mean?
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Use my voice.
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And I feel like I've tried every avenue in that, like to figure out which one clicks.
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Like my sister, y'all know, she is the singer, and she can sing like no other.
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And I'm like, okay, well, I used to sing all the time with my mom when she was, um, her and my dad were still together and we were in church.
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And literally the last time I sang at church for the longest was the night the last night my mom was in that church.
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And so I felt like it was an obstacle that I had to overcome.
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So I started singing with my sister again about a year ago, and it helped me so much because it helped me gain the confidence that I needed to be able to stand on the stage, and then it was like God said, All right, cool, you got your confidence.
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Also, hey babe, this ain't for you.
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And I'm like, Thank you so much.
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And it's not that I could sing with what she was doing, but I that is not my calling.
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To sing is not my calling, the musical side of it.
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And I love my brother-in-law because my sister, I think she had tunnel vision with it, and she's like, Bridget, we're gonna sing this song, and this is what I need you to hit.
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This, and this is how you're gonna harmonize, and this, that, and the other.
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And I'm like, babe, I'm giving you all I have.
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And while I don't sound like I'm a cat dying, no, I also am giving you all I have.
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And my sweet brother-in-law had to finally look at her and be like, She's doing everything she can, but she's just not, this isn't her.
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And he like was nicely telling her, like, you're asking too much of Bridget.
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And I appreciate that for him or from him.
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So I was like, okay, I'm gonna step back from the music, and if you need me, I'll help you, of course, if anybody's out or sick, whatever.
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But I think God just used that to help me build the confidence to speak, to be able to stand on stage and speak, because that's what I've done a little bit more of.
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And I feel so good when I do that.
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Like I've gotten to speak at our ladies' thing, um, our ladies' banquet two years in a row.
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And the first time I did it, I've never felt anything like that.
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Like I felt like I could have stood on that stage and screamed.
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I was so filled with God.
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Like I don't know how to explain it.
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I didn't, but you know what I mean.
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And it's just like, okay, more and more I'm like, you know, I know God has called me to preach and use my voice, but what does that mean?
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Because I'm someone who this may be controversial, I don't necessarily believe in a woman being a head pastor because I think that men and women are hardwired different and we're much more emotional, and a man is much more logical, and I think that that does better in that sense.
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But because I think that a woman shouldn't be a head pastor does not mean that I don't think a woman can preach.
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I do think a woman can preach, and there's a lot of women preachers that I I think so much of, and I'm like, okay, but I'm not gonna be some like how do I do that to honor God if I'm only getting to talk once a year or maybe twice a year here and there.
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I'm like, how do I, how does this fit in?
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And you know, over the last couple of weeks, I'm like, this podcast has just kept coming up, and I'm like, God, I don't want to go through that again.
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I don't, I felt like I just didn't know what I was doing, and I felt stupid for lack of better words.
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And one thing that will shut me down quicker than anything is the thought of being embarrassed or being embarrassing.
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Like, that is something I am so self-conscious of.
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I never want to embarrass myself and I never want to embarrass my family.
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And I felt like I, I'm like, what if I do, you know?
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And I've prayed about it and I've prayed about it.
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And our podcast email, like our Gmail account, for whatever reason, it got locked.
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Like we were locked out of it um for almost a year, and it was gonna get deleted this October.
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And I was like, okay, hell Mary, let me see if I can figure out, you know, what's going on.
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Well, I ended up actually getting into it, which is insane that I got into it.
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And I'm like, oh, okay, is this something you want?
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And then it got locked again.
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And I was like, God, like, is it is this not what you want me to do?
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Well, I finally I got back into it, which is also crazy.
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It was like the devil was fighting me there.
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So I got back into it and I ended up being able to finally find all of our old podcast episodes.
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They were on our Patreon, and I uploaded, like, I went through and I found like the very first one, Iron Sharpens Iron.
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And I uploaded it to our bus sprout just to see, like I was playing.
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I was like, okay, you know, like what if I did this?
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Like, do I even remember how?
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Will it upload to everything?
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And it did.
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And that was last night that I uploaded it.
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This so this is last night was September 9th, it's December or September 10th today, and I uploaded it like late last night or like last night, whatever, you know what I'm trying to say.
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And I checked it this morning and I did not post that I uploaded it, I did not tell anybody, I didn't even tell Andy that I uploaded it.
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And I got on there this morning and there was like 20-something people who had listened to the episode, which is not a lot of people, but for this to be a two-year-old episode that nobody knew that the show was even still available for 21 people to find it was like that's weird, you know?
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And then all morning I've sat here and I'm like, okay, well, what if I did?
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What if what if I did record another episode?
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And I even wrote it out, like I wrote it out a week ago, and I'm like, I just don't know.
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And one of the big things for me is like, well, where does Andy fit into this?
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Because y'all know with Booked Bagged and Tagged, like we were like this dynamic duo, like, because Andy is so goofy and he's so funny, but I'm like, I know he struggled with something sweeter, and not because he doesn't love God, not because he's not saved or anything like that.
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It's just it's a much different layout from where on booked bagged and tagged, he could say whatever he wanted to say, but on this, he's like, I get a little nervous because I don't want to say something that would throw off, you know, anything.
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Like, I just I don't want to clash with the Holy Spirit and what I'm saying.
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Not that he was talking bad, but y'all know, y'all know Andy.
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And I'm like, okay, well then I kept praying and I was even talking to my brother about it, and I was like, Andy, would you be upset if I did this podcast but you didn't do it with me?
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And I think I think a part of him was like, you're not hurting my feelings.
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But then there was another part where he was like, Oh, that was like our thing.
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And I'm like, I I won't do it if you don't want me to, and I won't do it if you don't feel comfortable doing it.
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And he's like, No, baby, like if that's what you think you need to do, if God's telling you to do it, he's like, I'm not gonna be the one to stand and hold you back, stand in front of it.
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And I'm like, okay, well, I'm just playing.
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I'm just like, I'm not gonna do it, right?
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Like, I'm just like sitting here thinking about it.
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Well, one day I do want to get him on here and tell y'all what happened to him.
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It wasn't this summer, but it was last summer.
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Um, this guy, we went to a revival and this guy prophesied over him.
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And it was like I was buckets and buckets of tears.
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It was so cool.
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But that's where I was at.
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It's like I'm stuck between not wanting to do this without Andy to what if I do it and it doesn't do good.
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And then last night at church, my dad preached on blessings.
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And every time I've been to church lately, I'm like, God, let this be for me, let this be for me.
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And it just hasn't.
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And then and then tonight I'm like, he starts talking about blessings, and I'm like, uh, this isn't what I need, this isn't for me.
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But then it was.
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And he started talking about how it was in Deuteronomy 28, and it's like the whole chapter is like of blessings and cursings.
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And it's going through and saying, like, if you follow my word, if you follow these commandments that I've given you, and if you do the things that I've told you to do, everything you touch will be blessed.
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Everything in your basket and in your store in the store will be touched, which means the basket is like, you know, you go to your garden, you get your fruit right then, or you put it in the storehouse and you save it for later.
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And it's like everything now and everything later will be blessed.
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It's not only will you be blessed, your children will be blessed.
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Not, you know, it's not only your children, your animals will be blessed.
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And I'm like, praise God, you know, help Toby and Maggie, our two dogs, right?
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But I'm like, God, you know, like what does that mean?
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Like, it does this mean that this is something that you'll you'll bless, like you'll go for?
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And I remember back when we were doing our true crime podcast, I would pray all the time.
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I'm like, God bless this podcast, help us bring more money and help us do this.
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God, just send it like into the stratosphere, like just like blow it up, like bless us, God bless us.
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And I'm like, why am I sitting here praying for God to bless a true crime podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with him, to glorify him?
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That's silly.
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That's just silly.
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And now, you know, one thing dad said is like, God knows that we each have our own hobbies, and as long as it doesn't get in the way of what you're supposed to be doing, God will honor that.
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Like he'll, you know, it's like a parent.
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You make sure that you do your kids are doing what they're supposed to be doing, but they each have their own interest, and you're like, yeah, of course.
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Like if that makes you happy, go do that.
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If you like to sew, go sew.
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If you like to color or draw, go draw, like do these things.
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And as long as you know everything aligns with the word of God.
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And that's you know, as parents, you have to like kind of guide your kids in that.
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And I feel like God does that too.
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And I'm like, well, why wouldn't God bless a podcast that's talking about him or you know, preaching his word and doing all that?
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And if it's something that I like to do, I love to talk and use my voice for him and you know, interact with people.
00:18:07.200 --> 00:18:08.480
I'm such a people person.
00:18:09.039 --> 00:18:10.400
Why wouldn't he bless that?
00:18:10.559 --> 00:18:12.240
Like, what's really holding me back?
00:18:12.400 --> 00:18:21.359
And it's, you know, like I said, it was the thought of failing, and because I don't want to be that person like Bridget tries something all the time.
00:18:21.440 --> 00:18:24.000
She's always trying something, but she never follows through.
00:18:24.240 --> 00:18:26.319
And I never have, other than the podcast.
00:18:26.400 --> 00:18:28.640
Like that was that was a big hit for me.
00:18:28.960 --> 00:18:35.839
And I'm like, well, that's not fair for myself because it's not that I failed, it's not that I haven't followed through.
00:18:36.079 --> 00:18:47.599
I've grown in time, you know, you get older and you realize you have different wants and needs and interests, and it's not that I have failed in anything I've done, it's that I grew out of it.
00:18:47.920 --> 00:18:51.440
And then, like y'all look, I'm a millennial, okay?
00:18:51.599 --> 00:18:57.680
Like I did that the Cinderella story is like don't let the fear striking out keep you from playing the game.
00:18:57.920 --> 00:18:59.519
Also, I know how cheesy that is.
00:18:59.599 --> 00:19:00.880
Please don't make fun of me.
00:19:01.200 --> 00:19:04.640
But it that's the first thought that came to mind.
00:19:04.880 --> 00:19:06.000
So that's what I'm doing.
00:19:06.160 --> 00:19:12.240
I'm not gonna let the fear of failure keep me from doing something that I think God's calling me to.
00:19:12.400 --> 00:19:13.359
What does that mean?
00:19:13.519 --> 00:19:16.559
I have no idea because I'm gonna be very transparent with you guys.
00:19:16.799 --> 00:19:20.000
It cost money to do a podcast and to do one well.
00:19:20.319 --> 00:19:35.680
And the platform that we use, like so, we use this one platform that disperses our podcast into every different directory, meaning like app one place puts our podcast on Apple, Spotify, you know, all of those things.
00:19:36.000 --> 00:19:43.359
And while there is a free version, it only keeps your episodes for 90 days and you can only upload two hours a month.
00:19:43.680 --> 00:19:50.400
Well, then you have your different tiers, and it goes anywhere from$15 a month to$35 a month.
00:19:50.720 --> 00:19:56.960
And we, I'm just like, okay, well, God, if you want this to work, I'm on need your help, brother.
00:19:57.119 --> 00:20:02.079
Like, like I can't finance this podcast like I did in the past.
00:20:02.240 --> 00:20:10.960
Like, I'm trying to make sure that we're, you know, we're budgeting well and all of the things, like while like we're fine, we're not like starving or anything like that.
00:20:11.039 --> 00:20:13.039
It's just I'm trying to budget well.
00:20:13.119 --> 00:20:19.680
And when you have three kids, like an extra$35 a month or whatever, it adds up after a while.
00:20:19.920 --> 00:20:22.799
And I'm like, okay, I don't I don't know what to do.
00:20:22.880 --> 00:20:24.000
I don't know how you want me to do it.
00:20:24.079 --> 00:20:26.880
If you want me to do it, you're gonna have to send me the money to be able to do it.
00:20:27.119 --> 00:20:29.119
And that's where that's where I'm sitting right now.
00:20:29.279 --> 00:20:34.799
Like I'm sitting on the free program of this to where we're at two dollars or two hours a month.
00:20:35.039 --> 00:20:41.200
One of those hours have already been taken up by using the I posted the iron sharpened iron.
00:20:41.519 --> 00:20:47.680
So I only have one hour left until uh that I can post until like October something.
00:20:48.000 --> 00:20:49.599
So that's where I'm at.
00:20:49.839 --> 00:21:01.839
And this is like my not a test of God, I don't mean it that way, but this is where I'm like, all right, God, I'll do this, and I just need you to come through on the other side.
00:21:02.000 --> 00:21:02.720
What does that mean?
00:21:02.880 --> 00:21:14.400
I have absolutely no idea, but I also know that I serve a God that can move mountains, I serve a God that can raise the dead, so I can definitely serve a God that'll give me$30 something dollars a month to post his word.
00:21:14.720 --> 00:21:16.640
So that's what we're doing.
00:21:16.799 --> 00:21:17.759
That I don't even know.
00:21:17.920 --> 00:21:23.440
I don't even know what this is, and I know this episode sounds like so insane, and it's not even an episode, is it?
00:21:23.519 --> 00:21:24.240
I don't know.
00:21:24.480 --> 00:21:33.039
I'm just literally when I tell you I woke up this morning with absolutely zero plans to sit in front of my computer and record a podcast again.
00:21:34.319 --> 00:21:37.759
There was zero chance if that I thought that's this was gonna happen.
00:21:38.079 --> 00:21:44.079
But I was in the shower and I'm like, God was just like, hey, you know where that microphone is.
00:21:44.240 --> 00:21:44.880
Guess what?
00:21:45.039 --> 00:21:47.359
That microphone, I have no idea where the cord is.
00:21:47.599 --> 00:21:52.319
I am actually using a mic that I bought for our media team for the church.
00:21:52.480 --> 00:21:54.079
That's what I'm using right now.
00:21:54.400 --> 00:21:59.359
And I was telling my brother the other day if I do this podcast again, like I need help, like I can't.
00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:03.279
Do this all by myself again because it's so much to do by myself.
00:22:03.440 --> 00:22:12.480
Like I can study and do the episode and I can record, but I need somebody's help to figure out the mics and the equipment and all of that.
00:22:12.559 --> 00:22:15.359
And I want this to be better than it could have ever been.
00:22:15.519 --> 00:22:18.799
I want to do a video version of this to be able to post.
00:22:19.119 --> 00:22:26.000
And while we have an awesome room upstairs at the church that I can record this in, I have no idea how to set up the video.
00:22:26.240 --> 00:22:30.960
I have no idea how to set up that system because we tried with Booked Bagged Intact and it never worked.
00:22:31.119 --> 00:22:32.960
And also, that's a lot of money.
00:22:33.119 --> 00:22:39.759
That's a lot of money to just buy the mic that hooks up to the this what is the thing called?
00:22:40.000 --> 00:22:43.119
That the channel thing that funnels everything through it.
00:22:43.359 --> 00:22:45.440
Like all of this is a lot of money.
00:22:45.519 --> 00:22:48.319
And I'm not sitting here asking, like, somebody send me a Venmo.
00:22:48.400 --> 00:22:51.680
I'm just literally talking to you guys like you're my best friends.
00:22:51.920 --> 00:22:58.799
But I'm like, okay, like I don't know what I'm doing, nor do I know the plan that God has that God has for this.
00:22:59.039 --> 00:23:09.680
But I do know that sitting in my living room wondering if it's what God wants, or wondering if I'm doing the right thing is not going to get me anywhere, that I have to actually step out on faith and do this.
00:23:10.000 --> 00:23:15.039
Because if Noah hadn't started building the boat before the rain came, he would have been in trouble.
00:23:15.279 --> 00:23:24.000
If like if God or if David hadn't had trusted God and, you know, went in it without fear, he would have never slain that giant.
00:23:24.240 --> 00:23:25.200
So that's what I'm doing.
00:23:25.279 --> 00:23:36.160
And I'm acting like I'm going up against Goliath himself, and I know I'm not, but I also know that God has put a lot in me to say, and I have no way to say it other than this.
00:23:36.240 --> 00:23:40.079
And I feel like maybe maybe this is what I'm supposed to do.
00:23:40.240 --> 00:23:41.200
I don't know what this looks like.
00:23:41.359 --> 00:23:43.039
I don't know how this is gonna play out.
00:23:43.200 --> 00:23:44.160
I I don't know.
00:23:44.319 --> 00:23:52.960
I I really don't, but I do know that I want to honor God and I want to do anything that I can to get closer to him.
00:23:53.519 --> 00:23:55.599
So that that's what I'm gonna do.
00:23:55.759 --> 00:23:56.640
That's what I'm gonna do.
00:23:56.720 --> 00:24:00.559
And I know I've said the same thing 15 times because I don't know what else to say.
00:24:01.759 --> 00:24:21.440
I also um was told, and Andy said that when I started thinking about this, um, the first thing he said, he's like, well, if you do it, you better tell him that we love each other and we're not divorced because I had posted like an episode without him one time and everybody, or no, it was when we quit doing booked, bagged, and tagged.
00:24:21.599 --> 00:24:26.319
Everyone thought that we stopped the show because we got a divorce and didn't want to record the show together anymore.
00:24:26.480 --> 00:24:32.559
So I'm here to tell you that I am still very, very, very happily married to Andy Baker, and I love him very much.
00:24:32.880 --> 00:24:34.640
I'm not forced to be saying that.
00:24:34.799 --> 00:24:35.359
I do.
00:24:35.599 --> 00:24:41.839
Um, that man is he is the absolute man of my dreams, and God could not have given me a better person.
00:24:42.000 --> 00:25:12.400
He could not have given me a better like helpmate, some like a man to raise my children with, and he is amazing and he supports me in everything that I do, and I know that God has a lot, a lot in store for him, and that he's walking his own, you know, path with God and he is figuring out his own things, and I'm excited to see where God takes him because I think that if y'all know Andy or you know, personally, or even just listening to the show, y'all know that he is a very strong-willed person.
00:25:12.640 --> 00:25:24.720
And I think that when you funnel that through the spirit of God, the man could be unstoppable, and he just has to kind of figure out what his calling is and what that looks like for him, and I'm excited for that.
00:25:24.960 --> 00:25:28.720
Um, but I I just wanted to hop on.
00:25:28.799 --> 00:25:32.960
I wanted to say, hey, it's hi, how you doing, Mistya?
00:25:33.680 --> 00:25:35.519
What have y'all been up to?
00:25:35.920 --> 00:25:49.279
And if I can ask, I don't, you know, not to beat a dead horse when I say this, but can you guys just w whoever you are, wherever you are listening to this, can you pray for me?
00:25:49.839 --> 00:25:53.920
And I am not someone who usually often sends out my prayer request.
00:25:54.160 --> 00:25:58.079
We have an app for our church and every now and then I will send out a prayer request.
00:25:58.319 --> 00:26:01.920
Um, but but I'm not usually one to do this.
00:26:02.000 --> 00:26:10.960
Uh but I'm asking, can you guys, anyone who listens to this episode, if you made it to the end, will you please just add me to your prayer list?
00:26:11.759 --> 00:26:16.640
Because I I want to know what God wants me to do and if this is the right thing.
00:26:16.960 --> 00:26:22.720
And if it is, I need his help and I need his guidance and I need his support in this.
00:26:22.799 --> 00:26:28.079
And I know that if it's in his will, it'll happen and there's nothing in the world that can stop it.
00:26:28.400 --> 00:26:34.319
And this is literally just me putting my faith out there and saying, God help me.
00:26:34.559 --> 00:26:45.119
So if you guys could, can you please just say a prayer and that God shows me what to do and he supplies the means to do this if this is what he wants.
00:26:45.759 --> 00:26:51.519
But before I go, I do want to say a quick little prayer for everybody that has listened to this whole thing.
00:26:51.759 --> 00:26:54.319
So, wherever you are, unless you're driving, bow your head.
00:26:54.400 --> 00:26:57.680
If you're driving, yeah, I know you're there, okay?
00:26:58.559 --> 00:26:59.680
God, thank you.
00:26:59.920 --> 00:27:05.279
Thank you for the opportunity to be able to sit here and record this little mini episode.
00:27:05.599 --> 00:27:19.599
And I pray that whoever has listened to this, God, that they they know that you're there, that you know, where two or more are gathered, you are there in the midst, and God, I will be that second person for anybody while they are praying.
00:27:19.759 --> 00:27:27.920
I pray that if someone needs something from you, Lord, that you send them a sign, that you send them something letting them know that they are not alone.
00:27:28.160 --> 00:27:33.279
And God, I'm just gonna ask you flat out, like, is this what you want me to do?
00:27:33.440 --> 00:27:36.240
If it is, help me, lead me, guide me.
00:27:36.400 --> 00:27:46.160
And God, I pray that my life is like a lighthouse to the lost, that I shine as bright as I can possibly shine for your glory to be able to bring people to you, God.
00:27:46.240 --> 00:27:48.319
And if that's what this podcast is, that's what it is.
00:27:48.480 --> 00:27:52.000
I will honor you and I will do whatever it is that you are asking me to do.
00:27:52.240 --> 00:27:59.279
But God, watch over these listeners, guide them in their daily life, protect their families, place a hedge of protection around them, Lord.
00:27:59.440 --> 00:28:02.319
Show them that you are there, that you are listening to them, God.
00:28:02.480 --> 00:28:04.720
You know, show yourself to them in dreams.
00:28:04.960 --> 00:28:13.680
Make it so abundantly clear that our God in heaven is here and he is listening to our every cry, our every word, our every breath, God.
00:28:13.920 --> 00:28:18.160
Let us know and that you are with us and that we are not alone, God.
00:28:18.400 --> 00:28:24.799
I thank you for your mercy, Lord, and I thank you for your grace, and I thank you for the forgiveness that you give to us, God.
00:28:25.279 --> 00:28:26.079
I love you.
00:28:26.240 --> 00:28:32.640
I thank you for everything that you are doing in my life and that you will do for this show and the different people who are listening, God.
00:28:32.799 --> 00:28:35.359
In your holy and almighty name I pray.
00:28:35.599 --> 00:28:36.240
Amen.
00:00:09.839 --> 00:00:10.160
Okay.
00:00:11.519 --> 00:00:14.640
I don't know what I'm doing, so we're just gonna start.
00:00:14.880 --> 00:00:16.239
Hey, what's going on?
00:00:16.399 --> 00:00:18.320
It's it's been a minute.
00:00:18.640 --> 00:00:24.480
Um I I don't even know why I'm here, but I'm here.
00:00:24.800 --> 00:00:29.359
Um I didn't think I'd end up back on any kind of podcast.
00:00:29.440 --> 00:00:35.920
I didn't think I'd end up sitting here recording again, but I guess God had different plans.
00:00:36.240 --> 00:00:38.399
Um let's just let's just back up a minute.
00:00:38.560 --> 00:00:39.840
Let's just take a breath.
00:00:40.159 --> 00:00:42.560
Hey, I've missed you guys.
00:00:42.719 --> 00:00:44.479
It's been a really long time.
00:00:44.640 --> 00:00:47.679
If you're new here and you're thinking, okay, what's our problem?
00:00:47.759 --> 00:00:49.200
What is going on?
00:00:49.520 --> 00:00:50.960
It it it's been a long road.
00:00:51.039 --> 00:00:54.320
It's been a long, it's been a long road to get to where we are.
00:00:54.479 --> 00:00:56.960
Um little backstory here.
00:00:57.359 --> 00:01:07.359
So my husband and I used to be true crime podcasters, and that feels like an absolute lifetime ago, let me just say.
00:01:07.760 --> 00:01:33.439
But we were a part of a podcast called Booked, Bagged, and Tagged, and we did that for two years, and it it would it did really well, I will say, and I'm very proud of what we did with it, but it got to be a lot, um, where everybody was getting, you know, the two episodes a week and a bonus episode, and that was only like three hours for you know, two to three hours a week for everybody else.
00:01:33.760 --> 00:01:41.280
I was like sitting in that darkness researching constantly, and it really started to take a toll on me.
00:01:41.599 --> 00:01:46.319
And God decided that it was it was time to be done with that.
00:01:47.359 --> 00:02:03.200
That was scary, that was a very scary leap because while my husband was the breadwinner, of course, all of the money that I got from the podcast and TikTok and different things, that was like our extra money, our fun money, and we had gotten very used to that extra fun money.
00:02:03.439 --> 00:02:07.280
So I listened, I obeyed, and I stopped, booked, bagged, and tagged.
00:02:07.439 --> 00:02:20.400
In the meantime, we started something sweeter podcast because I was like, obviously, God wanted me to stop booked, bagged, and tagged to start a Christian podcast because that just makes so much sense.
00:02:20.639 --> 00:02:25.360
While I don't think that was a bad idea, I do not think that I was ready for that.
00:02:25.599 --> 00:02:27.120
I I just don't.
00:02:27.360 --> 00:02:38.080
I don't think that I was bold enough or wise enough or even strong enough in my faith to do what I was doing.
00:02:38.319 --> 00:02:45.039
And I'm very thankful for everybody who followed us over from our old face or our old podcast to the new podcast.
00:02:45.120 --> 00:02:50.639
It was a drastic difference, I will say, but I'm very happy to have those of you who have followed along.
00:02:50.960 --> 00:02:56.719
And I want to explain kind of where I've been for the last two years, which is crazy to say.
00:02:57.360 --> 00:03:05.280
Um, I, when I was pregnant with my youngest, I had started an early childhood degree and never finished.
00:03:05.520 --> 00:03:10.719
And after we finished the podcast, I was like we had paused something sweeter.
00:03:10.879 --> 00:03:13.039
I was gonna pull my kids and homeschool them.
00:03:13.360 --> 00:03:15.039
And we ended up not doing that.
00:03:15.120 --> 00:03:19.840
So I ended up going into the school system with the kids instead.
00:03:20.159 --> 00:03:22.800
And and it was it was interesting, I will say.
00:03:22.879 --> 00:03:28.159
I learned a lot, but while I went into the school with the kids, I went back to school as well.
00:03:28.319 --> 00:03:39.840
So I decided to finish out my degree, and I had every intention on you know, having my own classroom, doing my own thing, teaching, because I I love kids, I do, and I did that for two years.
00:03:40.000 --> 00:03:46.719
I subbed, I paired, I finished my degree, I was doing youth leader stuff.
00:03:46.879 --> 00:04:14.479
Like I was so busy, and I think I was just grasping at straws at anything that I could to give me some kind of sense of worthiness because I went from being like up on top of the mountain, which what I thought was a top of a mountain with booked bagged and tagged and it being so successful, to canceling that show, starting another one that didn't get as much traction, and then canceling or pausing that one.
00:04:14.639 --> 00:04:19.120
And I think I was struggling with feeling like I was somebody to feeling like I was a nobody.
00:04:19.199 --> 00:04:26.319
And I know that is so superficial in the grand scheme of things, and you know, oh poor Bridget, you know, she didn't feel famous.
00:04:26.480 --> 00:04:45.439
No, that's not what it was, but like I had people messaging me, talking to me constantly when we did the other podcast to it, just went like radio static, quiet, like it nobody cared, and not that they should, I understand that, but it was just very jarring for me.
00:04:45.759 --> 00:04:54.959
And so I'm finishing my degree and I'm doing all these things, and last fall I had the crazy idea, like, what if I started podcasting again?
00:04:55.199 --> 00:04:56.800
Podcasting again, there we go.
00:04:57.040 --> 00:05:03.040
And it was just a thought that I played with for a really long time, but I never ended up going anywhere with it.
00:05:03.199 --> 00:05:07.680
But in the same sense, at that time, God was like, Hey, what about homeschool?
00:05:07.920 --> 00:05:09.759
And I'm like, bro, what?
00:05:09.920 --> 00:05:12.879
Like I'm finishing, like I'm graduating with my degree.
00:05:13.120 --> 00:05:13.839
What do you mean?
00:05:14.000 --> 00:05:15.360
What about homeschool?
00:05:15.759 --> 00:05:21.120
And I'm like, okay, well, you know, if it's your idea, if it's your plan, you know, water it.
00:05:21.279 --> 00:05:23.279
You know, I'll just do whatever you tell me to do.
00:05:23.600 --> 00:05:31.839
Long story short, a job that I absolutely loved started feeling like it was taking everything I had.
00:05:32.079 --> 00:05:36.720
It was like I came home and there was nothing left to pour out of my cup.
00:05:36.879 --> 00:05:39.360
There was nothing left in my cup for my family.
00:05:39.680 --> 00:05:42.560
And I just I couldn't do it anymore.
00:05:42.639 --> 00:05:46.639
And I don't, it was literally one of those things where I said, God, if it's not for me, take it.
00:05:46.720 --> 00:05:54.000
And boy, did he give me whiplash when he took it because I remember sitting here talking to Andy one day and I'm like, I don't, I don't want to do this.
00:05:54.240 --> 00:05:55.199
He's like, why?
00:05:55.439 --> 00:05:56.720
Like, I don't know.
00:05:56.879 --> 00:06:01.360
Like, I love kids, I love doing what I do, but also I don't want to do it.
00:06:01.600 --> 00:06:02.879
So I was like, okay, whatever.
00:06:03.040 --> 00:06:04.959
So I started praying about homeschool.
00:06:05.279 --> 00:06:08.000
Well, we ended up doing that this year.
00:06:08.079 --> 00:06:13.199
We pulled our kids out at the end of the year, and we started homeschool.
00:06:14.240 --> 00:06:20.079
Now, hear me when I say I loved my job because I worked with my sister and occasionally my brother.
00:06:20.160 --> 00:06:23.439
And for us three to be in the same building together, that was fun.
00:06:23.600 --> 00:06:24.560
That was a lot of fun.
00:06:24.639 --> 00:06:25.600
And I love the kids.
00:06:25.680 --> 00:06:28.959
There's still so many of these babies that I see, and I just want to like squeeze them.
00:06:29.040 --> 00:06:30.399
I love them so, so much.
00:06:30.639 --> 00:06:37.920
It wasn't that the kids or anything like that, and it wasn't even the people that I worked with, it was just the atmosphere of what was going on.
00:06:38.240 --> 00:06:40.160
I couldn't do it anymore.
00:06:40.480 --> 00:06:49.199
So, like I said, I ended up pulling out the boys, and we started homeschooled this August, and it has been the biggest blessing.
00:06:49.360 --> 00:06:53.360
Like, I have enjoyed this so much.
00:06:53.680 --> 00:06:55.680
I get to spend every day with my boys.
00:06:55.920 --> 00:07:12.160
We're, you know, starting out the day in our little devotional, and we're praying, and I feel like I'm pouring into my kids more than I ever have, and to see them grow in what they're learning because of me, like because I'm giving them this, it is so fulfilling.
00:07:12.480 --> 00:07:20.959
And I've been praying and praying, and oh my God, I know that, you know, first and foremost, my first calling on this earth is to be a mother, and it always has been.
00:07:21.040 --> 00:07:28.879
Like I knew before I had babies of my own that I was called to be a mom, and I struggled with that because I didn't think that that was gonna happen for me.
00:07:29.040 --> 00:07:45.120
But God, you know, his timing is everything, and so I knew this was what I was meant to do, but I also knew that, and y'all have heard me say it if you've listened to um something sweeter before in the old podcast episodes, which I'm gonna try to upload.
00:07:45.439 --> 00:07:49.199
Um, I've also been called in other ways.
00:07:49.519 --> 00:07:56.639
And my God confirmed one of my or my calling is to use my voice.
00:07:56.879 --> 00:07:58.560
And I have no idea what that means.
00:07:58.879 --> 00:08:03.439
So I'm like praying and I'm asking God, like, okay, what do you mean?
00:08:03.600 --> 00:08:04.160
Use my voice.
00:08:04.319 --> 00:08:10.079
And I feel like I've tried every avenue in that, like to figure out which one clicks.
00:08:10.319 --> 00:08:15.600
Like my sister, y'all know, she is the singer, and she can sing like no other.
00:08:15.839 --> 00:08:22.879
And I'm like, okay, well, I used to sing all the time with my mom when she was, um, her and my dad were still together and we were in church.
00:08:23.199 --> 00:08:30.160
And literally the last time I sang at church for the longest was the night the last night my mom was in that church.
00:08:30.480 --> 00:08:33.840
And so I felt like it was an obstacle that I had to overcome.
00:08:34.000 --> 00:08:46.159
So I started singing with my sister again about a year ago, and it helped me so much because it helped me gain the confidence that I needed to be able to stand on the stage, and then it was like God said, All right, cool, you got your confidence.
00:08:46.320 --> 00:08:48.159
Also, hey babe, this ain't for you.
00:08:48.240 --> 00:08:50.000
And I'm like, Thank you so much.
00:08:50.320 --> 00:08:57.200
And it's not that I could sing with what she was doing, but I that is not my calling.
00:08:57.519 --> 00:09:00.720
To sing is not my calling, the musical side of it.
00:09:00.799 --> 00:09:09.440
And I love my brother-in-law because my sister, I think she had tunnel vision with it, and she's like, Bridget, we're gonna sing this song, and this is what I need you to hit.
00:09:09.519 --> 00:09:12.240
This, and this is how you're gonna harmonize, and this, that, and the other.
00:09:12.320 --> 00:09:15.519
And I'm like, babe, I'm giving you all I have.
00:09:15.759 --> 00:09:22.080
And while I don't sound like I'm a cat dying, no, I also am giving you all I have.
00:09:22.240 --> 00:09:33.440
And my sweet brother-in-law had to finally look at her and be like, She's doing everything she can, but she's just not, this isn't her.
00:09:33.600 --> 00:09:36.720
And he like was nicely telling her, like, you're asking too much of Bridget.
00:09:36.799 --> 00:09:39.440
And I appreciate that for him or from him.
00:09:39.840 --> 00:09:47.519
So I was like, okay, I'm gonna step back from the music, and if you need me, I'll help you, of course, if anybody's out or sick, whatever.
00:09:47.840 --> 00:09:57.840
But I think God just used that to help me build the confidence to speak, to be able to stand on stage and speak, because that's what I've done a little bit more of.
00:09:58.000 --> 00:10:02.639
And I feel so good when I do that.
00:10:02.720 --> 00:10:07.600
Like I've gotten to speak at our ladies' thing, um, our ladies' banquet two years in a row.
00:10:07.679 --> 00:10:11.919
And the first time I did it, I've never felt anything like that.
00:10:12.080 --> 00:10:15.759
Like I felt like I could have stood on that stage and screamed.
00:10:15.840 --> 00:10:17.679
I was so filled with God.
00:10:17.759 --> 00:10:19.360
Like I don't know how to explain it.
00:10:19.519 --> 00:10:22.080
I didn't, but you know what I mean.
00:10:22.399 --> 00:10:30.559
And it's just like, okay, more and more I'm like, you know, I know God has called me to preach and use my voice, but what does that mean?
00:10:30.799 --> 00:10:53.279
Because I'm someone who this may be controversial, I don't necessarily believe in a woman being a head pastor because I think that men and women are hardwired different and we're much more emotional, and a man is much more logical, and I think that that does better in that sense.
00:10:53.519 --> 00:10:58.720
But because I think that a woman shouldn't be a head pastor does not mean that I don't think a woman can preach.
00:10:58.960 --> 00:11:16.000
I do think a woman can preach, and there's a lot of women preachers that I I think so much of, and I'm like, okay, but I'm not gonna be some like how do I do that to honor God if I'm only getting to talk once a year or maybe twice a year here and there.
00:11:16.159 --> 00:11:18.799
I'm like, how do I, how does this fit in?
00:11:19.200 --> 00:11:26.879
And you know, over the last couple of weeks, I'm like, this podcast has just kept coming up, and I'm like, God, I don't want to go through that again.
00:11:26.960 --> 00:11:33.919
I don't, I felt like I just didn't know what I was doing, and I felt stupid for lack of better words.
00:11:34.240 --> 00:11:41.120
And one thing that will shut me down quicker than anything is the thought of being embarrassed or being embarrassing.
00:11:41.279 --> 00:11:44.559
Like, that is something I am so self-conscious of.
00:11:44.720 --> 00:11:48.720
I never want to embarrass myself and I never want to embarrass my family.
00:11:48.960 --> 00:11:52.320
And I felt like I, I'm like, what if I do, you know?
00:11:52.559 --> 00:11:54.799
And I've prayed about it and I've prayed about it.
00:11:55.039 --> 00:12:00.320
And our podcast email, like our Gmail account, for whatever reason, it got locked.
00:12:00.480 --> 00:12:05.919
Like we were locked out of it um for almost a year, and it was gonna get deleted this October.
00:12:06.159 --> 00:12:11.279
And I was like, okay, hell Mary, let me see if I can figure out, you know, what's going on.
00:12:11.600 --> 00:12:15.919
Well, I ended up actually getting into it, which is insane that I got into it.
00:12:16.159 --> 00:12:20.080
And I'm like, oh, okay, is this something you want?
00:12:20.240 --> 00:12:22.000
And then it got locked again.
00:12:22.159 --> 00:12:26.960
And I was like, God, like, is it is this not what you want me to do?
00:12:27.120 --> 00:12:29.679
Well, I finally I got back into it, which is also crazy.
00:12:29.759 --> 00:12:31.360
It was like the devil was fighting me there.
00:12:31.519 --> 00:12:36.639
So I got back into it and I ended up being able to finally find all of our old podcast episodes.
00:12:36.720 --> 00:12:42.720
They were on our Patreon, and I uploaded, like, I went through and I found like the very first one, Iron Sharpens Iron.
00:12:42.879 --> 00:12:46.960
And I uploaded it to our bus sprout just to see, like I was playing.
00:12:47.120 --> 00:12:48.720
I was like, okay, you know, like what if I did this?
00:12:48.799 --> 00:12:50.320
Like, do I even remember how?
00:12:50.639 --> 00:12:52.559
Will it upload to everything?
00:12:52.720 --> 00:12:53.679
And it did.
00:12:54.080 --> 00:12:57.519
And that was last night that I uploaded it.
00:12:57.600 --> 00:13:07.919
This so this is last night was September 9th, it's December or September 10th today, and I uploaded it like late last night or like last night, whatever, you know what I'm trying to say.
00:13:08.159 --> 00:13:15.600
And I checked it this morning and I did not post that I uploaded it, I did not tell anybody, I didn't even tell Andy that I uploaded it.
00:13:15.759 --> 00:13:31.679
And I got on there this morning and there was like 20-something people who had listened to the episode, which is not a lot of people, but for this to be a two-year-old episode that nobody knew that the show was even still available for 21 people to find it was like that's weird, you know?
00:13:31.919 --> 00:13:37.200
And then all morning I've sat here and I'm like, okay, well, what if I did?
00:13:37.360 --> 00:13:39.759
What if what if I did record another episode?
00:13:39.840 --> 00:13:45.200
And I even wrote it out, like I wrote it out a week ago, and I'm like, I just don't know.
00:13:45.440 --> 00:13:48.879
And one of the big things for me is like, well, where does Andy fit into this?
00:13:49.039 --> 00:14:04.320
Because y'all know with Booked Bagged and Tagged, like we were like this dynamic duo, like, because Andy is so goofy and he's so funny, but I'm like, I know he struggled with something sweeter, and not because he doesn't love God, not because he's not saved or anything like that.
00:14:04.399 --> 00:14:21.279
It's just it's a much different layout from where on booked bagged and tagged, he could say whatever he wanted to say, but on this, he's like, I get a little nervous because I don't want to say something that would throw off, you know, anything.
00:14:21.440 --> 00:14:24.240
Like, I just I don't want to clash with the Holy Spirit and what I'm saying.
00:14:24.320 --> 00:14:27.039
Not that he was talking bad, but y'all know, y'all know Andy.
00:14:27.679 --> 00:14:40.639
And I'm like, okay, well then I kept praying and I was even talking to my brother about it, and I was like, Andy, would you be upset if I did this podcast but you didn't do it with me?
00:14:40.799 --> 00:14:44.960
And I think I think a part of him was like, you're not hurting my feelings.
00:14:45.120 --> 00:14:48.639
But then there was another part where he was like, Oh, that was like our thing.
00:14:48.879 --> 00:14:55.759
And I'm like, I I won't do it if you don't want me to, and I won't do it if you don't feel comfortable doing it.
00:14:55.919 --> 00:15:04.559
And he's like, No, baby, like if that's what you think you need to do, if God's telling you to do it, he's like, I'm not gonna be the one to stand and hold you back, stand in front of it.
00:15:04.639 --> 00:15:06.399
And I'm like, okay, well, I'm just playing.
00:15:06.480 --> 00:15:08.879
I'm just like, I'm not gonna do it, right?
00:15:08.960 --> 00:15:11.120
Like, I'm just like sitting here thinking about it.
00:15:11.360 --> 00:15:15.600
Well, one day I do want to get him on here and tell y'all what happened to him.
00:15:15.759 --> 00:15:17.759
It wasn't this summer, but it was last summer.
00:15:17.919 --> 00:15:22.559
Um, this guy, we went to a revival and this guy prophesied over him.
00:15:22.799 --> 00:15:25.360
And it was like I was buckets and buckets of tears.
00:15:25.440 --> 00:15:26.639
It was so cool.
00:15:26.960 --> 00:15:28.559
But that's where I was at.
00:15:28.639 --> 00:15:36.080
It's like I'm stuck between not wanting to do this without Andy to what if I do it and it doesn't do good.
00:15:36.320 --> 00:15:41.759
And then last night at church, my dad preached on blessings.
00:15:42.159 --> 00:15:46.159
And every time I've been to church lately, I'm like, God, let this be for me, let this be for me.
00:15:46.240 --> 00:15:47.200
And it just hasn't.
00:15:47.440 --> 00:15:54.480
And then and then tonight I'm like, he starts talking about blessings, and I'm like, uh, this isn't what I need, this isn't for me.
00:15:54.720 --> 00:15:55.919
But then it was.
00:15:56.399 --> 00:16:03.759
And he started talking about how it was in Deuteronomy 28, and it's like the whole chapter is like of blessings and cursings.
00:16:03.919 --> 00:16:15.519
And it's going through and saying, like, if you follow my word, if you follow these commandments that I've given you, and if you do the things that I've told you to do, everything you touch will be blessed.
00:16:15.759 --> 00:16:27.120
Everything in your basket and in your store in the store will be touched, which means the basket is like, you know, you go to your garden, you get your fruit right then, or you put it in the storehouse and you save it for later.
00:16:27.279 --> 00:16:31.120
And it's like everything now and everything later will be blessed.
00:16:31.360 --> 00:16:34.879
It's not only will you be blessed, your children will be blessed.
00:16:35.039 --> 00:16:38.799
Not, you know, it's not only your children, your animals will be blessed.
00:16:38.879 --> 00:16:42.399
And I'm like, praise God, you know, help Toby and Maggie, our two dogs, right?
00:16:42.639 --> 00:16:47.039
But I'm like, God, you know, like what does that mean?
00:16:47.279 --> 00:16:53.279
Like, it does this mean that this is something that you'll you'll bless, like you'll go for?
00:16:53.679 --> 00:16:58.159
And I remember back when we were doing our true crime podcast, I would pray all the time.
00:16:58.240 --> 00:17:01.919
I'm like, God bless this podcast, help us bring more money and help us do this.
00:17:02.000 --> 00:17:06.880
God, just send it like into the stratosphere, like just like blow it up, like bless us, God bless us.
00:17:06.960 --> 00:17:13.440
And I'm like, why am I sitting here praying for God to bless a true crime podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with him, to glorify him?
00:17:13.839 --> 00:17:14.640
That's silly.
00:17:14.720 --> 00:17:15.759
That's just silly.
00:17:16.079 --> 00:17:25.839
And now, you know, one thing dad said is like, God knows that we each have our own hobbies, and as long as it doesn't get in the way of what you're supposed to be doing, God will honor that.
00:17:25.920 --> 00:17:27.680
Like he'll, you know, it's like a parent.
00:17:27.920 --> 00:17:35.200
You make sure that you do your kids are doing what they're supposed to be doing, but they each have their own interest, and you're like, yeah, of course.
00:17:35.359 --> 00:17:37.039
Like if that makes you happy, go do that.
00:17:37.119 --> 00:17:39.200
If you like to sew, go sew.
00:17:39.359 --> 00:17:43.039
If you like to color or draw, go draw, like do these things.
00:17:43.359 --> 00:17:46.400
And as long as you know everything aligns with the word of God.
00:17:46.559 --> 00:17:50.480
And that's you know, as parents, you have to like kind of guide your kids in that.
00:17:50.640 --> 00:17:52.880
And I feel like God does that too.
00:17:52.960 --> 00:18:00.319
And I'm like, well, why wouldn't God bless a podcast that's talking about him or you know, preaching his word and doing all that?
00:18:00.400 --> 00:18:07.039
And if it's something that I like to do, I love to talk and use my voice for him and you know, interact with people.
00:18:07.200 --> 00:18:08.480
I'm such a people person.
00:18:09.039 --> 00:18:10.400
Why wouldn't he bless that?
00:18:10.559 --> 00:18:12.240
Like, what's really holding me back?
00:18:12.400 --> 00:18:21.359
And it's, you know, like I said, it was the thought of failing, and because I don't want to be that person like Bridget tries something all the time.
00:18:21.440 --> 00:18:24.000
She's always trying something, but she never follows through.
00:18:24.240 --> 00:18:26.319
And I never have, other than the podcast.
00:18:26.400 --> 00:18:28.640
Like that was that was a big hit for me.
00:18:28.960 --> 00:18:35.839
And I'm like, well, that's not fair for myself because it's not that I failed, it's not that I haven't followed through.
00:18:36.079 --> 00:18:47.599
I've grown in time, you know, you get older and you realize you have different wants and needs and interests, and it's not that I have failed in anything I've done, it's that I grew out of it.
00:18:47.920 --> 00:18:51.440
And then, like y'all look, I'm a millennial, okay?
00:18:51.599 --> 00:18:57.680
Like I did that the Cinderella story is like don't let the fear striking out keep you from playing the game.
00:18:57.920 --> 00:18:59.519
Also, I know how cheesy that is.
00:18:59.599 --> 00:19:00.880
Please don't make fun of me.
00:19:01.200 --> 00:19:04.640
But it that's the first thought that came to mind.
00:19:04.880 --> 00:19:06.000
So that's what I'm doing.
00:19:06.160 --> 00:19:12.240
I'm not gonna let the fear of failure keep me from doing something that I think God's calling me to.
00:19:12.400 --> 00:19:13.359
What does that mean?
00:19:13.519 --> 00:19:16.559
I have no idea because I'm gonna be very transparent with you guys.
00:19:16.799 --> 00:19:20.000
It cost money to do a podcast and to do one well.
00:19:20.319 --> 00:19:35.680
And the platform that we use, like so, we use this one platform that disperses our podcast into every different directory, meaning like app one place puts our podcast on Apple, Spotify, you know, all of those things.
00:19:36.000 --> 00:19:43.359
And while there is a free version, it only keeps your episodes for 90 days and you can only upload two hours a month.
00:19:43.680 --> 00:19:50.400
Well, then you have your different tiers, and it goes anywhere from$15 a month to$35 a month.
00:19:50.720 --> 00:19:56.960
And we, I'm just like, okay, well, God, if you want this to work, I'm on need your help, brother.
00:19:57.119 --> 00:20:02.079
Like, like I can't finance this podcast like I did in the past.
00:20:02.240 --> 00:20:10.960
Like, I'm trying to make sure that we're, you know, we're budgeting well and all of the things, like while like we're fine, we're not like starving or anything like that.
00:20:11.039 --> 00:20:13.039
It's just I'm trying to budget well.
00:20:13.119 --> 00:20:19.680
And when you have three kids, like an extra$35 a month or whatever, it adds up after a while.
00:20:19.920 --> 00:20:22.799
And I'm like, okay, I don't I don't know what to do.
00:20:22.880 --> 00:20:24.000
I don't know how you want me to do it.
00:20:24.079 --> 00:20:26.880
If you want me to do it, you're gonna have to send me the money to be able to do it.
00:20:27.119 --> 00:20:29.119
And that's where that's where I'm sitting right now.
00:20:29.279 --> 00:20:34.799
Like I'm sitting on the free program of this to where we're at two dollars or two hours a month.
00:20:35.039 --> 00:20:41.200
One of those hours have already been taken up by using the I posted the iron sharpened iron.
00:20:41.519 --> 00:20:47.680
So I only have one hour left until uh that I can post until like October something.
00:20:48.000 --> 00:20:49.599
So that's where I'm at.
00:20:49.839 --> 00:21:01.839
And this is like my not a test of God, I don't mean it that way, but this is where I'm like, all right, God, I'll do this, and I just need you to come through on the other side.
00:21:02.000 --> 00:21:02.720
What does that mean?
00:21:02.880 --> 00:21:14.400
I have absolutely no idea, but I also know that I serve a God that can move mountains, I serve a God that can raise the dead, so I can definitely serve a God that'll give me$30 something dollars a month to post his word.
00:21:14.720 --> 00:21:16.640
So that's what we're doing.
00:21:16.799 --> 00:21:17.759
That I don't even know.
00:21:17.920 --> 00:21:23.440
I don't even know what this is, and I know this episode sounds like so insane, and it's not even an episode, is it?
00:21:23.519 --> 00:21:24.240
I don't know.
00:21:24.480 --> 00:21:33.039
I'm just literally when I tell you I woke up this morning with absolutely zero plans to sit in front of my computer and record a podcast again.
00:21:34.319 --> 00:21:37.759
There was zero chance if that I thought that's this was gonna happen.
00:21:38.079 --> 00:21:44.079
But I was in the shower and I'm like, God was just like, hey, you know where that microphone is.
00:21:44.240 --> 00:21:44.880
Guess what?
00:21:45.039 --> 00:21:47.359
That microphone, I have no idea where the cord is.
00:21:47.599 --> 00:21:52.319
I am actually using a mic that I bought for our media team for the church.
00:21:52.480 --> 00:21:54.079
That's what I'm using right now.
00:21:54.400 --> 00:21:59.359
And I was telling my brother the other day if I do this podcast again, like I need help, like I can't.
00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:03.279
Do this all by myself again because it's so much to do by myself.
00:22:03.440 --> 00:22:12.480
Like I can study and do the episode and I can record, but I need somebody's help to figure out the mics and the equipment and all of that.
00:22:12.559 --> 00:22:15.359
And I want this to be better than it could have ever been.
00:22:15.519 --> 00:22:18.799
I want to do a video version of this to be able to post.
00:22:19.119 --> 00:22:26.000
And while we have an awesome room upstairs at the church that I can record this in, I have no idea how to set up the video.
00:22:26.240 --> 00:22:30.960
I have no idea how to set up that system because we tried with Booked Bagged Intact and it never worked.
00:22:31.119 --> 00:22:32.960
And also, that's a lot of money.
00:22:33.119 --> 00:22:39.759
That's a lot of money to just buy the mic that hooks up to the this what is the thing called?
00:22:40.000 --> 00:22:43.119
That the channel thing that funnels everything through it.
00:22:43.359 --> 00:22:45.440
Like all of this is a lot of money.
00:22:45.519 --> 00:22:48.319
And I'm not sitting here asking, like, somebody send me a Venmo.
00:22:48.400 --> 00:22:51.680
I'm just literally talking to you guys like you're my best friends.
00:22:51.920 --> 00:22:58.799
But I'm like, okay, like I don't know what I'm doing, nor do I know the plan that God has that God has for this.
00:22:59.039 --> 00:23:09.680
But I do know that sitting in my living room wondering if it's what God wants, or wondering if I'm doing the right thing is not going to get me anywhere, that I have to actually step out on faith and do this.
00:23:10.000 --> 00:23:15.039
Because if Noah hadn't started building the boat before the rain came, he would have been in trouble.
00:23:15.279 --> 00:23:24.000
If like if God or if David hadn't had trusted God and, you know, went in it without fear, he would have never slain that giant.
00:23:24.240 --> 00:23:25.200
So that's what I'm doing.
00:23:25.279 --> 00:23:36.160
And I'm acting like I'm going up against Goliath himself, and I know I'm not, but I also know that God has put a lot in me to say, and I have no way to say it other than this.
00:23:36.240 --> 00:23:40.079
And I feel like maybe maybe this is what I'm supposed to do.
00:23:40.240 --> 00:23:41.200
I don't know what this looks like.
00:23:41.359 --> 00:23:43.039
I don't know how this is gonna play out.
00:23:43.200 --> 00:23:44.160
I I don't know.
00:23:44.319 --> 00:23:52.960
I I really don't, but I do know that I want to honor God and I want to do anything that I can to get closer to him.
00:23:53.519 --> 00:23:55.599
So that that's what I'm gonna do.
00:23:55.759 --> 00:23:56.640
That's what I'm gonna do.
00:23:56.720 --> 00:24:00.559
And I know I've said the same thing 15 times because I don't know what else to say.
00:24:01.759 --> 00:24:21.440
I also um was told, and Andy said that when I started thinking about this, um, the first thing he said, he's like, well, if you do it, you better tell him that we love each other and we're not divorced because I had posted like an episode without him one time and everybody, or no, it was when we quit doing booked, bagged, and tagged.
00:24:21.599 --> 00:24:26.319
Everyone thought that we stopped the show because we got a divorce and didn't want to record the show together anymore.
00:24:26.480 --> 00:24:32.559
So I'm here to tell you that I am still very, very, very happily married to Andy Baker, and I love him very much.
00:24:32.880 --> 00:24:34.640
I'm not forced to be saying that.
00:24:34.799 --> 00:24:35.359
I do.
00:24:35.599 --> 00:24:41.839
Um, that man is he is the absolute man of my dreams, and God could not have given me a better person.
00:24:42.000 --> 00:25:12.400
He could not have given me a better like helpmate, some like a man to raise my children with, and he is amazing and he supports me in everything that I do, and I know that God has a lot, a lot in store for him, and that he's walking his own, you know, path with God and he is figuring out his own things, and I'm excited to see where God takes him because I think that if y'all know Andy or you know, personally, or even just listening to the show, y'all know that he is a very strong-willed person.
00:25:12.640 --> 00:25:24.720
And I think that when you funnel that through the spirit of God, the man could be unstoppable, and he just has to kind of figure out what his calling is and what that looks like for him, and I'm excited for that.
00:25:24.960 --> 00:25:28.720
Um, but I I just wanted to hop on.
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I wanted to say, hey, it's hi, how you doing, Mistya?
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What have y'all been up to?
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And if I can ask, I don't, you know, not to beat a dead horse when I say this, but can you guys just w whoever you are, wherever you are listening to this, can you pray for me?
00:25:49.839 --> 00:25:53.920
And I am not someone who usually often sends out my prayer request.
00:25:54.160 --> 00:25:58.079
We have an app for our church and every now and then I will send out a prayer request.
00:25:58.319 --> 00:26:01.920
Um, but but I'm not usually one to do this.
00:26:02.000 --> 00:26:10.960
Uh but I'm asking, can you guys, anyone who listens to this episode, if you made it to the end, will you please just add me to your prayer list?
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Because I I want to know what God wants me to do and if this is the right thing.
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And if it is, I need his help and I need his guidance and I need his support in this.
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And I know that if it's in his will, it'll happen and there's nothing in the world that can stop it.
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And this is literally just me putting my faith out there and saying, God help me.
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So if you guys could, can you please just say a prayer and that God shows me what to do and he supplies the means to do this if this is what he wants.
00:26:45.759 --> 00:26:51.519
But before I go, I do want to say a quick little prayer for everybody that has listened to this whole thing.
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So, wherever you are, unless you're driving, bow your head.
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If you're driving, yeah, I know you're there, okay?
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God, thank you.
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Thank you for the opportunity to be able to sit here and record this little mini episode.
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And I pray that whoever has listened to this, God, that they they know that you're there, that you know, where two or more are gathered, you are there in the midst, and God, I will be that second person for anybody while they are praying.
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I pray that if someone needs something from you, Lord, that you send them a sign, that you send them something letting them know that they are not alone.
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And God, I'm just gonna ask you flat out, like, is this what you want me to do?
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If it is, help me, lead me, guide me.
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And God, I pray that my life is like a lighthouse to the lost, that I shine as bright as I can possibly shine for your glory to be able to bring people to you, God.
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And if that's what this podcast is, that's what it is.
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I will honor you and I will do whatever it is that you are asking me to do.
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But God, watch over these listeners, guide them in their daily life, protect their families, place a hedge of protection around them, Lord.
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Show them that you are there, that you are listening to them, God.
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You know, show yourself to them in dreams.
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Make it so abundantly clear that our God in heaven is here and he is listening to our every cry, our every word, our every breath, God.
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Let us know and that you are with us and that we are not alone, God.
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I thank you for your mercy, Lord, and I thank you for your grace, and I thank you for the forgiveness that you give to us, God.
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I love you.
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I thank you for everything that you are doing in my life and that you will do for this show and the different people who are listening, God.
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In your holy and almighty name I pray.
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Amen.
