1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,000
ST_Ep34_FINAL
2
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,000
Fri, Jun 14, 2024 1:30PM • 41:22
3
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,000
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
4
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,000
feel, people, work, creative, life, pivot, broadway, mel, conversations, creativity, production, barcelona, stay, living, burnt, bit, point, touring, incredible, years
5
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:05,000
SPEAKERS
6
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:06,000
Melanie Czaykowsky, Simone Keelah
7
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Simone Keelah 00:09
8
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:08,000
Welcome to Sol Talk: From Corporate to Creative, the podcast to help you transform your five to nine interests and passions into your nine to five reality. Join us as we delve into the stories, strategies and insights that will support you on your path from corporate to creative fulfillment. And I'm your host, Simone Keelah.
9
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:09,000
Simone Keelah 00:32
10
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:10,000
Today's guest is Mel Czaykowsky, a Broadway performer turned HR professional. Like Mel, some of you have already brought your dreams to life. And now you may be at a different kind of inflection point. Instead of wondering how or when you'll get your creative projects off the ground, you're wondering, okay, but for how long am I going to be doing this thing? Or rather, how do I know when it's time to step away from my passion and figure out another path to career fulfillment?
11
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:11,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 01:00
12
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,000
I thought here I did the thing, right? Do I need to do the thing forever?
13
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Simone Keelah 01:06
14
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:14,000
Mel's and my path crossed when we were both doing work for an agency, her in HR and me in content. Having learned about her performing background, I was so excited to bring her in for one of the first conversations I recorded this season. So we dove into pivots, when to know when you should go, how to deal with the response you may get from your community. And what going back to Creative work After a stint in corporate America can look and feel like so let's get into it. But first, here's Mel, in her own words.
15
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 01:39
16
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:16,000
A little bit of my background, I was a Broadway musical touring performer. So I toured the US with Broadway musicals, then I went into production to get on the production side of things and company management side of things. And then I took that and pivoted again, into HR into tech, which was definitely a turn. And now I'm going back yet again rebirthing. Myself, putting all the things together that I've picked up along the way and rebirthing that towards a more creative life again, and rediscovering what that is, where that is and what that means for me.
17
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:17,000
Simone Keelah 02:18
18
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,000
Let's go back a little bit before we kind of go until the big pivots that we're seeing of Broadway. Because this is a lot of people's dream. You're performing on Broadway, you're touring, you would you say you're in the first tour group that was going around the country? So you had the same folks that were on Broadway? Talk to me about that? Yeah.
19
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:19,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 02:38
20
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:20,000
So the difference, I guess between like Broadway that you see in New York, Broadway on the road, what happens is show opens on Broadway in New York, and then they take the Broadway tour out on the road. So the first national tour is what I did for three different productions. So they basically take the show from New York and they put it on the road, same director, choreographer, or producers, all of that stuff. So it's it's a very, like, high stakes, high pressure kind of environment. And I did that for a little bit. And I basically was in that career for about 13 years, and then made the pivot into kind of doing things behind the scenes I learned, like production management and company management for live shows. And started working as a production manager and a company manager and then COVID hit, which was fun and interesting for that industry. Everything's
21
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,000
Simone Keelah 03:36
22
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,000
all my industries. Yeah. Oh, especially that Yeah, yeah.
23
00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:23,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 03:40
24
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:24,000
No, in person anything. So like, most panic people, I was like, Where can I pivot? Yeah, where can I use these skills? I've only been in the entertainment industry. I'm not sure if that translates anywhere else. And then I went on a journey when we had plenty of time inside and doors to figure out what that was. And
25
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,000
Simone Keelah 04:06
26
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:26,000
that's kind of like where we met was the company that Mel went to that I was that Mel on the HR side, me on the content side. But something tells me right like if you obviously COVID was like the kind of like forcing functions to kind of stop and do something else. But were you already thinking about what could be next for you? It was there any inkling of I don't want to do this forever. Or like what was that situation? Yeah,
27
00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:27,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 04:34
28
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:28,000
funny enough, because I know the job of like Broadway, Broadway touring and all that stuff is a it's a very, it's a lot of people's dream. Yeah. And it was definitely my dream. I thought I would be in it forever. It wasn't my initial dream from when I was little. I actually got into it pretty late in life late, according to people,
29
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:29,000
Simone Keelah 04:53
30
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:30,000
but 19 Instead of like 12 Yes, exactly.
31
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 04:57
32
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,000
That's exactly it. I'm
33
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:33,000
Simone Keelah 05:01
34
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,000
excuse me, this is my this is my psychicness coming through right now.
35
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:35,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 05:08
36
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,000
You are like you're which I she is she's the real deal. I had a teacher actually tell me at 19 that it was too late. Yeah, yeah. But then I booked these doors that there was like, okay, it's fine. It's not to my face
37
00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:37,000
Simone Keelah 05:25
38
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:38,000
teacher. Yeah,
39
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:39,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 05:26
40
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:40,000
it worked out it worked out. But I on my first production, funnily enough. My first major production was Motown, the musical, which was incredible. It was produced by Barry Gordy, the owner and creator of Motown, we've met so many people from Motown like Stevie Wonder and Smokey Robinson. And it Claude at Robinson and her whole family, it was phenomenal production. But when you're doing a show, the same show six days a week, eight shows a week after a while. And I think a lot of creatives can kind of sink in with this. It's like after a while you reach this really great milestone and this incredible go goal, you're like, Yes, I got there. And then it starts to wane a little bit, the longer that you're in it, you kind of get used to it, there's a little bit of a plateau. And it's that whole thing of like, Oh, if I get this, everything will click into place, and I will be immediately happy and the rest of my life will be amazing. It's that first discovery of like, getting something that you've worked so hard for, and realizing like that's not enough. And then trying to see, okay, well, do I need to do another show? Is it a different show? Is it a different? What is it, it's that kind of initial shock, threw me for a loop a little bit. And I started asking myself these questions, and started talking to older cast members in the group who had been in the industry for like, over 20 years, we had a lot of people in their 40s, as well. And that show, which was incredible, we had an age range of about, I think 21 to 40. So it was really great to have that access to creatives who have just started out all the way to people who are like, really deciding whether they want to finish their careers or siphon out. So I had a lot of conversations with people about what it meant to stay in the cog wheel that long. People who had stepped in and out people who had stayed the entire time, what it had done to them what they sacrificed by being and staying in that kind of wheelhouse. So that started to open my mind to the question of I bought here, I did the thing, right? Do I need to do the thing forever? Because there are many things that I want to do. And we have such a short amount of time. And without feeling that I need to do everything everything. What if I do want to take a break? What does that look like? People always tell you, if you leave like ooh, that's really dangerous, you can never come back. Like it's very, there's a lot of like fear mongering around that kind of stuff, or is Yeah, so that was just, that was definitely the start. And so while I continued on the next, like 10 years or so, I started just keeping my eyes open for other opportunities. I started hanging backstage with the company managers and the producers and started learning things from the back end, and kind of feeding that hunger for Okay, what else is out there. Also, as a performer, you do have to consider that you might get injured and not be able to perform again, that is a very, very real thing. As as wonderful and glamorous as it can seem like there are a lot of injuries. And I've seen some pretty unfortunate things happen to people and they either work really horribly through the pain, or they have to step out they have to find something else that they're good at and not being prepared for that. I just saw how that really affected their lives.
41
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:41,000
Simone Keelah 09:24
42
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:42,000
I am like just actually really impressed by like how thoughtful you were about all this. This was like I just know that there's more to just like it being COVID because I think sometimes like people were picking things up during COVID that they you know, it was something in their minds beforehand, right before COVID hit. And the fact that like you were having these conversations with other performers who had more experience in the fact that you like you were aware of the fact that your body might not be able to whether it's injury or just with time, be able to do all of the things that it was currently doing. I just that really stands out to me because I think so Sometimes people, they're really thrown if something happens, and they haven't had all these, like thoughtful conversations and like, they haven't prepared in any real way. So the fact that you were doing that, I think is like, like hats off to you for like even thinking in that way. But obviously, it still probably was crashing, when things shut down, regardless of the conversations and prep work that you were having as far as like, how can I make this? How can I have longevity to my career? I feel like it probably still was a little bit kind of disconcerting when that moment hit, right? Oh, yeah,
43
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 10:37
44
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,000
of course. Because when I, when I left, or started to siphon out and go into production and company management, it didn't feel like a big pivot, because I was still part of that world. I was still involved with like musicals and live production shows and play it. So I was still in the same environment. So when everything shut down, it was like, Ooh, okay, well, I'm glad I took these steps a little bit outside of what I knew that I had actually planned to go back. I was just trying to stretch myself and gain other skills. And I always thought I would go back to
45
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,000
Simone Keelah 11:25
46
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,000
Broadway, for a lot of folks is the dream. So for you, how did you feel moving away from it? And like, what were other people? Did other people have anything to say, as they kind of saw you make this pivot like, now what's what's going on girl like, I should do this, like, Oh,
47
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:47,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 11:45
48
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:48,000
so much of that. The funny thing is, I was definitely like one of those like, write or die. I'm doing this until the end. So it shocked a lot of people when I left. And because of the way I left, I wanted to leave on a high note. So I left after I got like, I made the decision to leave while I was on my last tour. I knew I was going into production, I thought I would maybe come back. That was the intention. But that was like the first time I left was okay, I'm gonna go do this. And so, in the beginning, people were like, Okay, well, that's interesting. She's still in the business with production, and company management. So I didn't get too much flack moving into that. But then after the pandemic, when I switched into HR, there was a huge reaction from my peers. And I understand there were a lot of mixed feelings, because I was still, like, I was still getting Broadway auditions. I was still getting TV auditions. It wasn't that the work wasn't there. There was still a career and a trajectory for me. And I think that's what confused people the most, like, why are you leaving, if you're still getting these opportunities to move forward? So I had, you know, even close friends of mine, or peers, just say just what you did, like, what's going on? Are you okay? Like, what's happening? Why are you leaving, you're still getting this audition, I can't even get that audition. Like, what's, what's happening. And I had to explain to a few people, you know, like, kind of just not to get too deep into my background. But I, a lot of the people I knew who were able to stay and sustain this kind of life had a lot of support, they either had financial support, or really, really heavy like family support. And I did not have that to fall back on. So I had to make these very intense decisions. And I had to think about these things, talking with people and on tour who had done this for, you know, many, many years, I had to consider the fact of okay, I have to take take care of myself, I don't have financial support, I don't have somewhere else I can go. If this falls through, and I'm starting to get into my 30s Do I really want to continue putting all of this in, because it is a very demanding job, and I didn't mind that. But to get the kind of return that you get from it. It's like, you know, unless you're paying my bills. For me, I had to do what I had to do. So my whole idea was then to step out, create some sort of like stability for myself, because it's a very unstable situation to be in, you're on a tour, you come off, you don't have a job, maybe for a year, you know, and you have to support yourself somehow, right? So it's not necessarily for everyone. and that they get to go gig to gig to gig. Or if they do, some of those gigs pay really well. And then some of them do not pay enough to sustain yourself. So rounding all that out to say, I just had to have conversations with people that were really close to me and let them know like, hey, just a reminder, like, you get to split rent with your husband or wife. I don't, I'm paying that on my own. Or if something happens to you, your family has your childhood home, ready for you. Like they'll take you and you know what I mean? So once I started to explain that to people they understood, but I think the sentiment was still that they were sad. They felt like I had, I think, given up. And for me, I wasn't sad about it. For me, it was the right choice. But you do get affected by seeing other people sad for you. When you're like, No, it's okay, I've made this choice. And like, I think I'm actually ready to move on. And if I did something creative, I think I want to do it in a different way anyway, like, I'm not married, to just doing Broadway shows, and a lot of people in that industry are. And that is totally okay. Because it is a it's a beautiful career. And the shows are amazing. But I always wanted to do many different things, not just that you
49
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:49,000
Simone Keelah 16:28
50
00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:50,000
already felt a level of peace with the decision, and people hadn't reached that place. I think you bring up this really Oh, this really interesting topic, or like just facet of a creative life, which is around like privilege. And things that we don't talk about where it's like a support system, in its own specific way is a privilege a person can have money is a very obvious privilege. But when it's up against this dream like that, so many people have, I think that they don't necessarily leave all of the room for that. I know, for me, like in LA and writing, when I realized when I made the pivot of like, just like going into writing, and then learning more and more about like, the TV industry. And the salaries that newbie writers make. I was like, oh, like, I couldn't have done that when I was 23. Like, there's just, there's no way I could be making that and living in LA, like I just, you know, a lot of people that don't necessarily come from any sort of wealth. It's just doesn't make sense. I mean, I'm sure you could do it if you're willing to sleep in your car, for instance, but like, how, like, how, I don't want to say how hard of a life do you want to live to make your dreams come true. But at some point, there are real things to consider. And I think that in the face of it being this pinnacle, this like North Star for people, it's not always easy to consider the privilege another person may not have, as they move toward this, like the star or maybe choose to move away from it. I mean, like, I don't even always think about my family. Like, we're just like, because I don't come from money. But like, there is privilege in the fact that I have a support system. Like I know, like, if push comes to shove, and I'm down on my luck, might be the case at times, like, I'm like, I could always go home, I could always go home. And there's something in that I think and like just recognizing your points of privilege may be a little bit different than another person's. So thank you for bringing that up. Yeah,
51
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:51,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 18:31
52
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,000
and I, I do want to reiterate, because I'm sure whoever is listening might be in different different stage of life. When I was in my 20s. And just starting out, if I would have heard me say this, I would have been like, Oh, she gave up or ah, like, you just have to push through it. You know, the show must go on. Yes, but to what detriment. And when you get older, and you get closer and closer to different points in your life, things really do change. It's one of those things where again, like I made peace with like, I'm okay, stepping out for a little bit. And I know it's there for me, if I wanted to come back, I could come back. There are ways to do that. It's not impossible. But it was it was just, it was really interesting to see how much that bothered people a choice that I made. For my life.
53
00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:53,000
Simone Keelah 19:28
54
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:54,000
It's kind of a trigger for people, right? It's like, it's almost like, are you by you leaving almost as like raises a question in people's minds of like, is this thing not sustainable? Is Is there no, like clear path to wealth? If this person's giving up, like, should I be giving up like it just makes people I think just oftentimes, like the decisions that we're making, make people confront, they have to be confronted with like, what their future and what their life looks like. And that could be kind of uncomfortable at times. Yeah.
55
00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:55,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 19:58
56
00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:56,000
And I want to be Be very careful with the giving up term. Because for me, I had already reached a point where I didn't even know that I could get that far, like I came from Woodstock, Georgia, which is like, maybe some, somebody listening will know where that is now, because like Gainesville, it's come up. But when I lived there, it was like, we had like a gas station and a Walmart, you know. So this was a very huge thing for me to even get to that point. And I, me personally, for my journey, I was very satisfied for getting there. Because you have the stream and you never really know, you're like, oh, I want to get this done. And then get there. So yeah, I reached what I wanted to reach. And I wanted to do other things. And yes, it was difficult to leave, I'm not gonna say it was easy. There was definitely some confusion for myself around me leaving, taking in other people's kind of emotions about it, and then second guessing myself. But at the end, I know for sure, it is not a place where I wanted to stay. And I'm glad I didn't stay. And I see something for myself now, creatively that I can own. That is an edited that isn't sold. That is just mine. And for me, artistically, that feels so much better for me. But it's one of those things I know, it's touchy because I think it makes people then question their own journey. I'm not telling you to leave your journey at all. I'm just saying this is right for me. So let me go do what I need to do.
57
00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:57,000
Simone Keelah 21:59
58
00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:58,000
Is where you are right now. It's like you've had this great career in HR over the past almost four years, right? Since COVID. And you moved to Barcelona with your husband. And so it's almost like this, this new chapter, though, right? You stepped away from a lot of like the, you know, the, I'm sure your creative, right. So there are creative things that you were doing in your life over the past four years, but you stepped away from like, the more kind of traditional stuff. And then now you've told me a little bit of finding your way back to it in different ways that look very different. You started to allude to it just then that feels like ownable. So where are you now? I love X pet story in Barcelona is literally one of my favorite cities in the world, Barcelona. So where are you now with? Like, where you're living? And like, how is it contributing to this chapter of your creative life?
59
00:00:58,000 --> 00:00:59,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 22:53
60
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:00,000
Oh, so many things. I think the biggest thing was getting out of New York, it was really, really helpful to break myself off from who I was, or how I labeled myself, like as a performer, and to start to investigate a new way of living and a new life. And that took the whole four years while I was in this, it was a lot of work to kind of get used to okay, I do this. Now. What does that mean? I don't want to shut off my creativity. But it was shut off for a while. And I was like, How do I put the spark back in it? Because I honestly got to a burnt out place, you still get burnt out during Broadway touring to a place where I was like, I do not want to do a show. You couldn't pay me enough money to do a show eight times a week, and only get one day off. And then that one day, I have to travel on a plane. So I actually get no day off. No, I was like, just I was so burnt out from it. So this new way of living. I was like, Oh, I have weekends. I'm not the entertainment. So I have a whole weekend. This is amazing. Like, what is this? So it was a lot of peaks and valleys of this is amazing to Who am I now that I've stripped myself of this identity. So when we made our way to Barcelona, Barcelona is such an incredibly creative and artistic city in of itself. And what I love about this city that I feel New York doesn't have any more than it used to have, as its has still maintained its rawness, in terms of creativity, like New York still has that. But you know, there's still the pressure of you need to maintain the level that you're at. And it needs to be a very high level because you're in New York City, right? So if you can feel kind of stunted as an artist, they're of like, Oh, if I don't do this perfectly, what if a certain person comes to my show and sees it and then they've seen this one awful show and then they think XYZ you know Whereas here, like everybody's super, super open to all sorts of different avenues, combining art and music and theatrics, and just really trying things, people here are not afraid to try things. So it kind of reinvigorated my confidence again. And then they're very just not I don't want to say like, forgiving, but like, they're very open to people like, hey, that didn't work, whatever we'll move on. You know, they don't, they don't go and they're like, Oh, I'll not go to your next show. Because you messed up that one line, or you did this or whatever, or go talk about you behind your back, right. So it's, it's a very like, here, it feels safe to be creative here, and to explore your creativity, to talk about your creativity. And people are very excited for you, as opposed to more of a competitive environment. There's room for everyone here. That's the feeling. It's yeah. So coming in here, I took very, very little baby steps because I hadn't performed in such a long time. And I started going to these like open jam nights, jazz jams and Soul, Funk Jams. And I got up and that the first time I went to one, it was like a match was struck. And I was like, Oh, this is that feeling that I got the first time I came in to New York and was performing like, I haven't felt this kind of thing in such a long time. And a lot of that is because I was able to say what I want, how I wanted dressed how I wanted as myself, expressing what I felt like I wanted to express at that time. I think a lot of people maybe don't understand that when you take creativity, and you definitely understand this, as well as a writer and what you've you've done and how you work. When you take your creativity and turn it into your main job, you have to be very mindful, and very careful that you're still maintaining another creative outlet that's not owned by like, corporate America, basically. You know, I mean, we can go into that. But yeah, your creativity then starts to get edited, you get told what certain things you can and cannot do, and you just feel like little bits of you start to kind of chip away a little bit. And when you're in it for many years, like I was find that that kind of wall here on there, where it can be very tough to maintain. And, you know, a lot of my friends like that have had, you know, pretty serious issues with mental health, with depression and anxiety. At that level, yes, on Broadway, it runs very, very deep, because you're working at such a high level, and there's such high pressure and you can hit that mundane, or you can hit that wall where somebody has just, you know, told you every inch, like where every inch of you needs to be, you know, I mean, for example, like I would get a note of like, holding my finger up, and it has to be like, an inch to the right. You know, like something that small? Wow, yeah, yeah, are being told, because I'm mixed, because y'all can't see me a mix. But, but I can and I've been told like different levels to stay out of the sun, stay out of the sun so you can get as light as possible. So you can play this role, or you need to be in the sun every day, get as dark as you can. So you could pass and pass for black but you can pass for black black, because the casting office said you're not black enough. You know, like these are the things that I you know, people don't know that you deal with every day. And after a while it can it can kind of hit you. But anyway, long story short, Barcelona is great. Going to these gyms and meeting these people who were so just warm and inviting, set off this new venture for me to then go back into being a vocalist in some shape or form, probably through jazz, that's what I'm leaning into. But I want to be so be careful and mindful that I'm doing it for me. And I'm not necessarily editing myself for somebody else. You know, I want to make sure that I'm enjoying it. So I don't know that it would be like an everyday thing but maybe gigs here and there or like half of the year like in and out because what I don't want to do is end up where I was, which was getting to a place where I was so burnt out and I got I was happy with where I had gotten to. But again, I hit this wall of, I need to do something else.
61
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:01,000
Simone Keelah 30:08
62
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:02,000
Yeah, oh, so many good things that you've said, One, I'm really happy that you have found this in Barcelona. And like just being in this environment has reinvigorated you in different ways. Again, if you guys haven't been Barcelona is like the best city ever. And then it's a point that I'm hearing where you get burnt out. And so it's like, it's not like sometimes I feel and I realized this because I was super burnt out late last year, where I wasn't necessarily overriding. But I was like, I was writing both, as you talked about for a paycheck. So corporate America writing in stuff where it was never my name on the byline, it was, it was a combination of like, you know, written words from all of the various stakeholders, right? All the things that go into, like, you know, what might be a speech or Brennan continent, insert, insert, and then going off and like having my thing, yes, but then, like, not having all of the time or energy because it's like, still, like you only have but so much capacity. And then you just you get to a point where, without you realizing it's a slow creep, you kind of just are like, Oh man, like I am, I don't want to do this, I feel completely unmotivated. And it kind of it's like a heartbreaking thing, sometimes for a creative to not want to create their thing. And you're gonna like, for me, it was like I was, I gotta create, because I gotta get this paycheck over here. So there's a forced creation, but there's something that's hanging over my head a little bit, you know, but then for you like the thing that you love, like, you're also forced, you were forced when you're, like, you know, touring and a part of Broadway, to be doing that, and not having an outlet. And so I really, it makes so much sense where that you are, where you are, where you're like, I want to be mindful of how it feels, you're now you know, reached a place where it's like, you know, the role that you want your creative endeavors to play in your life. And I love the fact that you're like, but I refuse for to not feel good. That's what I'm here like, this has to be fun. And so do you think that you'll ever go back to making it any sort of like full time, this is how I'm getting paid? Or at this point, are you thinking that it's always going to be an element of like, it's this thing that I'm doing somewhat on the side. So it keeps its lightness
63
00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:03,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 32:34
64
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,000
I, the latter of the first one, actually. It's been a struggle for me not to just now that I've chosen to go back into this not to put my production hat on and just go Go, go go go and build a show like that. i It's such a crazy thing that just flicks back on. So I think at some point, it probably would lean more full time. But the wonderful thing about like, touring over here in Europe, and that kind of side of things like in jazz clubs and cabarets is that you can piece it together in a way where even if it's your main thing, you can just work for a few months, and take a month off and re invigorate yourself, maybe change the structure of the set. So you're not doing the same songs all the time, there's definitely a lot more freedom to building that. Over here, there's a lot more fluidity and you can change and more things. So I think it would go probably in that direction, because I can't help. Yeah, I'd be like, Okay, I'm like, I'll build like a small little 20 minute set. And then I'm like, Oh, but I know how to do this 45 minute set, and then this, you know, it just gets bigger and bigger and bigger. Like I can't help it. But I'm much more excited about it. Because the biggest difference if it does turn full time is that I own it. I can take out a song that I don't want to sing anymore. I can keep my hair pink, if I want to. I can tan or stay out of the sun girl as much as I want. Yeah. You know what I mean? So I think the biggest part of that is like the ownership of your artistry because like you were saying, and I've read some of your stuff, because, you know, we've worked together and it's incredible, and I have the same thought of like, it's really hard to give over your work. And also like not get credit for it for something you've created. That is a really, really hard thing, like something you've come up with. And it's the same in the show like the way you set a line or the way you decided to do your like make an expression Shen or sing this note. And then like, the director gets credit for it, and you're like, can you give me his paycheck? But you know what? Like, it's yeah, it's these things where that's what I was trying to say earlier where I think people think creative jobs are just so creative and fun. And you get to play in all these things. But it actually is, it's still very closely related to like corporate America, it's still the same structure. Like it's a, you know, you're putting on a show people are paying to go see the show, you know, there's production behind it, there's strategy behind it. So it's just really interesting to actually see how closely related they are.
65
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:05,000
Simone Keelah 35:48
66
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,000
I have two questions, two final questions. But before I asked them, and I don't know if you want to share this, but can the people find you anywhere?
67
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 35:56
68
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,000
Oh, yes, you can find me on Instagram. I might have to spell it. Because it's a combination of Mel and my last name, so it's at Mel CZ ay, just know that it is a private account, but I'll let you in. But also, I'm taking an Instagram break for the next three months while I develop this Jas set that I'm working on. Yeah, so I will get back to any requests that are there. So don't think I'm like ignoring anybody. But yeah, that's where you can find me. And then I'll be probably posting some jazz things up there as well, in the late spring, early summer.
69
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,000
Simone Keelah 36:42
70
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,000
Love it. Mel. This has been such a good conversation. I'm feel like we could do a part two, because there's other things that I want to dive into. But I've done so many things.
71
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:11,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 36:51
72
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:12,000
And we're still figuring it out. People we're still figuring out. So that's a big point.
73
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:13,000
Simone Keelah 36:55
74
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,000
That's a big point. Yeah, it's a work in progress. Alright, so last two questions. Anything that has inspired your creativity recently, anything you've seen, you've watch you conversation, you had
75
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:15,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 37:07
76
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:16,000
the most recent inspiration. But creativity, which I don't know if you've seen this, but I had a night with an amazing friend that I just made here who is also a musician, and she's also transitioning out of tech. She's a social media manager, but she does like video and sings as well. And we had like this music night where we just sat and shared YouTube videos of like our favorite artists. And we watched like from beginning to end. And we just talked about music. And it was so amazing. And it was so inspiring. And she's Colombian so she's like interested in learning like more about American music. And I looked up this video of I don't know if you've ever seen this, Lucretia Campbell, one of the most incredible voices I've ever, ever heard in my life. This woman is ranged from bottom to top, and there is a video of her doing a song called lonely old woman. Go look it up immediately after this and then you'll you'll understand.
77
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:17,000
Simone Keelah 38:17
78
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,000
Okay, I will drop that in the show notes. Lucretia
79
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:19,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 38:21
80
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,000
Campbell, lonely old woman, everybody take a look at this video. It was a video that I was like, oh, I should show her some like American culture. Let me show her what are these like? It's like one of those church musicals almost or something like that. And she's an incredible vocalist. And I just sat there in awe, and then realized my friend was completely silent next to me just watching this incredible video. And it was just so inspiring. And then she started crying and that I started crying. And I was like, This is what music does. Yeah, this is what it does. These are those moments that I have missed. I don't miss the industry I was in. I don't have a desire to go back to that form. But this part, this is the part that I've been looking for. This is the part that I've been trying to get back in touch with. It's moving someone just moving someone making somebody feel something, period, period.
81
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:21,000
Simone Keelah 39:26
82
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:22,000
I love that we often look that up. And the last question, one thing your soul wants to tell listeners about living a creative life
83
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 39:39
84
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,000
one thing that my soul wants to tell people about living a creative life. Oh, there's a new sentence that I have written to myself that I look at every day. It's on my desk right here actually, on a post it note because I still use post its I won't tell you how old I am but I still If I do a post its are still okay great. Um, and it just says, have the audacity to try because living a creative life there are so many things so many emotions, so many up so many downs so many roads and pathways, but at the end of the day, What's hard is if you stop, people are gonna either like what you do or they're not gonna like what you do and I've struggled with that a lot. So, going back into this trying to like regain my confidence and work through this new vulnerability of heading into a new space. I just want to remind myself to have the audacity to try
85
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,000
Simone Keelah 40:53
86
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:26,000
that wraps up this session is soul talk. If you want to stay connected throughout the week, make sure you join the community on substack. There you receive weekly musings that hit on the intersection of mindfulness and creativity. Until next time, keep chatting friends
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,000
ST_Ep34_FINAL
2
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,000
Fri, Jun 14, 2024 1:30PM • 41:22
3
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,000
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
4
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,000
feel, people, work, creative, life, pivot, broadway, mel, conversations, creativity, production, barcelona, stay, living, burnt, bit, point, touring, incredible, years
5
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:05,000
SPEAKERS
6
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:06,000
Melanie Czaykowsky, Simone Keelah
7
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Simone Keelah 00:09
8
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:08,000
Welcome to Sol Talk: From Corporate to Creative, the podcast to help you transform your five to nine interests and passions into your nine to five reality. Join us as we delve into the stories, strategies and insights that will support you on your path from corporate to creative fulfillment. And I'm your host, Simone Keelah.
9
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:09,000
Simone Keelah 00:32
10
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:10,000
Today's guest is Mel Czaykowsky, a Broadway performer turned HR professional. Like Mel, some of you have already brought your dreams to life. And now you may be at a different kind of inflection point. Instead of wondering how or when you'll get your creative projects off the ground, you're wondering, okay, but for how long am I going to be doing this thing? Or rather, how do I know when it's time to step away from my passion and figure out another path to career fulfillment?
11
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:11,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 01:00
12
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,000
I thought here I did the thing, right? Do I need to do the thing forever?
13
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Simone Keelah 01:06
14
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:14,000
Mel's and my path crossed when we were both doing work for an agency, her in HR and me in content. Having learned about her performing background, I was so excited to bring her in for one of the first conversations I recorded this season. So we dove into pivots, when to know when you should go, how to deal with the response you may get from your community. And what going back to Creative work After a stint in corporate America can look and feel like so let's get into it. But first, here's Mel, in her own words.
15
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 01:39
16
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:16,000
A little bit of my background, I was a Broadway musical touring performer. So I toured the US with Broadway musicals, then I went into production to get on the production side of things and company management side of things. And then I took that and pivoted again, into HR into tech, which was definitely a turn. And now I'm going back yet again rebirthing. Myself, putting all the things together that I've picked up along the way and rebirthing that towards a more creative life again, and rediscovering what that is, where that is and what that means for me.
17
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:17,000
Simone Keelah 02:18
18
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,000
Let's go back a little bit before we kind of go until the big pivots that we're seeing of Broadway. Because this is a lot of people's dream. You're performing on Broadway, you're touring, you would you say you're in the first tour group that was going around the country? So you had the same folks that were on Broadway? Talk to me about that? Yeah.
19
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:19,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 02:38
20
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:20,000
So the difference, I guess between like Broadway that you see in New York, Broadway on the road, what happens is show opens on Broadway in New York, and then they take the Broadway tour out on the road. So the first national tour is what I did for three different productions. So they basically take the show from New York and they put it on the road, same director, choreographer, or producers, all of that stuff. So it's it's a very, like, high stakes, high pressure kind of environment. And I did that for a little bit. And I basically was in that career for about 13 years, and then made the pivot into kind of doing things behind the scenes I learned, like production management and company management for live shows. And started working as a production manager and a company manager and then COVID hit, which was fun and interesting for that industry. Everything's
21
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,000
Simone Keelah 03:36
22
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,000
all my industries. Yeah. Oh, especially that Yeah, yeah.
23
00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:23,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 03:40
24
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:24,000
No, in person anything. So like, most panic people, I was like, Where can I pivot? Yeah, where can I use these skills? I've only been in the entertainment industry. I'm not sure if that translates anywhere else. And then I went on a journey when we had plenty of time inside and doors to figure out what that was. And
25
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,000
Simone Keelah 04:06
26
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:26,000
that's kind of like where we met was the company that Mel went to that I was that Mel on the HR side, me on the content side. But something tells me right like if you obviously COVID was like the kind of like forcing functions to kind of stop and do something else. But were you already thinking about what could be next for you? It was there any inkling of I don't want to do this forever. Or like what was that situation? Yeah,
27
00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:27,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 04:34
28
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:28,000
funny enough, because I know the job of like Broadway, Broadway touring and all that stuff is a it's a very, it's a lot of people's dream. Yeah. And it was definitely my dream. I thought I would be in it forever. It wasn't my initial dream from when I was little. I actually got into it pretty late in life late, according to people,
29
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:29,000
Simone Keelah 04:53
30
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:30,000
but 19 Instead of like 12 Yes, exactly.
31
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 04:57
32
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,000
That's exactly it. I'm
33
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:33,000
Simone Keelah 05:01
34
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,000
excuse me, this is my this is my psychicness coming through right now.
35
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:35,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 05:08
36
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,000
You are like you're which I she is she's the real deal. I had a teacher actually tell me at 19 that it was too late. Yeah, yeah. But then I booked these doors that there was like, okay, it's fine. It's not to my face
37
00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:37,000
Simone Keelah 05:25
38
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:38,000
teacher. Yeah,
39
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:39,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 05:26
40
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:40,000
it worked out it worked out. But I on my first production, funnily enough. My first major production was Motown, the musical, which was incredible. It was produced by Barry Gordy, the owner and creator of Motown, we've met so many people from Motown like Stevie Wonder and Smokey Robinson. And it Claude at Robinson and her whole family, it was phenomenal production. But when you're doing a show, the same show six days a week, eight shows a week after a while. And I think a lot of creatives can kind of sink in with this. It's like after a while you reach this really great milestone and this incredible go goal, you're like, Yes, I got there. And then it starts to wane a little bit, the longer that you're in it, you kind of get used to it, there's a little bit of a plateau. And it's that whole thing of like, Oh, if I get this, everything will click into place, and I will be immediately happy and the rest of my life will be amazing. It's that first discovery of like, getting something that you've worked so hard for, and realizing like that's not enough. And then trying to see, okay, well, do I need to do another show? Is it a different show? Is it a different? What is it, it's that kind of initial shock, threw me for a loop a little bit. And I started asking myself these questions, and started talking to older cast members in the group who had been in the industry for like, over 20 years, we had a lot of people in their 40s, as well. And that show, which was incredible, we had an age range of about, I think 21 to 40. So it was really great to have that access to creatives who have just started out all the way to people who are like, really deciding whether they want to finish their careers or siphon out. So I had a lot of conversations with people about what it meant to stay in the cog wheel that long. People who had stepped in and out people who had stayed the entire time, what it had done to them what they sacrificed by being and staying in that kind of wheelhouse. So that started to open my mind to the question of I bought here, I did the thing, right? Do I need to do the thing forever? Because there are many things that I want to do. And we have such a short amount of time. And without feeling that I need to do everything everything. What if I do want to take a break? What does that look like? People always tell you, if you leave like ooh, that's really dangerous, you can never come back. Like it's very, there's a lot of like fear mongering around that kind of stuff, or is Yeah, so that was just, that was definitely the start. And so while I continued on the next, like 10 years or so, I started just keeping my eyes open for other opportunities. I started hanging backstage with the company managers and the producers and started learning things from the back end, and kind of feeding that hunger for Okay, what else is out there. Also, as a performer, you do have to consider that you might get injured and not be able to perform again, that is a very, very real thing. As as wonderful and glamorous as it can seem like there are a lot of injuries. And I've seen some pretty unfortunate things happen to people and they either work really horribly through the pain, or they have to step out they have to find something else that they're good at and not being prepared for that. I just saw how that really affected their lives.
41
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:41,000
Simone Keelah 09:24
42
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:42,000
I am like just actually really impressed by like how thoughtful you were about all this. This was like I just know that there's more to just like it being COVID because I think sometimes like people were picking things up during COVID that they you know, it was something in their minds beforehand, right before COVID hit. And the fact that like you were having these conversations with other performers who had more experience in the fact that you like you were aware of the fact that your body might not be able to whether it's injury or just with time, be able to do all of the things that it was currently doing. I just that really stands out to me because I think so Sometimes people, they're really thrown if something happens, and they haven't had all these, like thoughtful conversations and like, they haven't prepared in any real way. So the fact that you were doing that, I think is like, like hats off to you for like even thinking in that way. But obviously, it still probably was crashing, when things shut down, regardless of the conversations and prep work that you were having as far as like, how can I make this? How can I have longevity to my career? I feel like it probably still was a little bit kind of disconcerting when that moment hit, right? Oh, yeah,
43
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 10:37
44
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,000
of course. Because when I, when I left, or started to siphon out and go into production and company management, it didn't feel like a big pivot, because I was still part of that world. I was still involved with like musicals and live production shows and play it. So I was still in the same environment. So when everything shut down, it was like, Ooh, okay, well, I'm glad I took these steps a little bit outside of what I knew that I had actually planned to go back. I was just trying to stretch myself and gain other skills. And I always thought I would go back to
45
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,000
Simone Keelah 11:25
46
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,000
Broadway, for a lot of folks is the dream. So for you, how did you feel moving away from it? And like, what were other people? Did other people have anything to say, as they kind of saw you make this pivot like, now what's what's going on girl like, I should do this, like, Oh,
47
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:47,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 11:45
48
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:48,000
so much of that. The funny thing is, I was definitely like one of those like, write or die. I'm doing this until the end. So it shocked a lot of people when I left. And because of the way I left, I wanted to leave on a high note. So I left after I got like, I made the decision to leave while I was on my last tour. I knew I was going into production, I thought I would maybe come back. That was the intention. But that was like the first time I left was okay, I'm gonna go do this. And so, in the beginning, people were like, Okay, well, that's interesting. She's still in the business with production, and company management. So I didn't get too much flack moving into that. But then after the pandemic, when I switched into HR, there was a huge reaction from my peers. And I understand there were a lot of mixed feelings, because I was still, like, I was still getting Broadway auditions. I was still getting TV auditions. It wasn't that the work wasn't there. There was still a career and a trajectory for me. And I think that's what confused people the most, like, why are you leaving, if you're still getting these opportunities to move forward? So I had, you know, even close friends of mine, or peers, just say just what you did, like, what's going on? Are you okay? Like, what's happening? Why are you leaving, you're still getting this audition, I can't even get that audition. Like, what's, what's happening. And I had to explain to a few people, you know, like, kind of just not to get too deep into my background. But I, a lot of the people I knew who were able to stay and sustain this kind of life had a lot of support, they either had financial support, or really, really heavy like family support. And I did not have that to fall back on. So I had to make these very intense decisions. And I had to think about these things, talking with people and on tour who had done this for, you know, many, many years, I had to consider the fact of okay, I have to take take care of myself, I don't have financial support, I don't have somewhere else I can go. If this falls through, and I'm starting to get into my 30s Do I really want to continue putting all of this in, because it is a very demanding job, and I didn't mind that. But to get the kind of return that you get from it. It's like, you know, unless you're paying my bills. For me, I had to do what I had to do. So my whole idea was then to step out, create some sort of like stability for myself, because it's a very unstable situation to be in, you're on a tour, you come off, you don't have a job, maybe for a year, you know, and you have to support yourself somehow, right? So it's not necessarily for everyone. and that they get to go gig to gig to gig. Or if they do, some of those gigs pay really well. And then some of them do not pay enough to sustain yourself. So rounding all that out to say, I just had to have conversations with people that were really close to me and let them know like, hey, just a reminder, like, you get to split rent with your husband or wife. I don't, I'm paying that on my own. Or if something happens to you, your family has your childhood home, ready for you. Like they'll take you and you know what I mean? So once I started to explain that to people they understood, but I think the sentiment was still that they were sad. They felt like I had, I think, given up. And for me, I wasn't sad about it. For me, it was the right choice. But you do get affected by seeing other people sad for you. When you're like, No, it's okay, I've made this choice. And like, I think I'm actually ready to move on. And if I did something creative, I think I want to do it in a different way anyway, like, I'm not married, to just doing Broadway shows, and a lot of people in that industry are. And that is totally okay. Because it is a it's a beautiful career. And the shows are amazing. But I always wanted to do many different things, not just that you
49
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:49,000
Simone Keelah 16:28
50
00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:50,000
already felt a level of peace with the decision, and people hadn't reached that place. I think you bring up this really Oh, this really interesting topic, or like just facet of a creative life, which is around like privilege. And things that we don't talk about where it's like a support system, in its own specific way is a privilege a person can have money is a very obvious privilege. But when it's up against this dream like that, so many people have, I think that they don't necessarily leave all of the room for that. I know, for me, like in LA and writing, when I realized when I made the pivot of like, just like going into writing, and then learning more and more about like, the TV industry. And the salaries that newbie writers make. I was like, oh, like, I couldn't have done that when I was 23. Like, there's just, there's no way I could be making that and living in LA, like I just, you know, a lot of people that don't necessarily come from any sort of wealth. It's just doesn't make sense. I mean, I'm sure you could do it if you're willing to sleep in your car, for instance, but like, how, like, how, I don't want to say how hard of a life do you want to live to make your dreams come true. But at some point, there are real things to consider. And I think that in the face of it being this pinnacle, this like North Star for people, it's not always easy to consider the privilege another person may not have, as they move toward this, like the star or maybe choose to move away from it. I mean, like, I don't even always think about my family. Like, we're just like, because I don't come from money. But like, there is privilege in the fact that I have a support system. Like I know, like, if push comes to shove, and I'm down on my luck, might be the case at times, like, I'm like, I could always go home, I could always go home. And there's something in that I think and like just recognizing your points of privilege may be a little bit different than another person's. So thank you for bringing that up. Yeah,
51
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:51,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 18:31
52
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,000
and I, I do want to reiterate, because I'm sure whoever is listening might be in different different stage of life. When I was in my 20s. And just starting out, if I would have heard me say this, I would have been like, Oh, she gave up or ah, like, you just have to push through it. You know, the show must go on. Yes, but to what detriment. And when you get older, and you get closer and closer to different points in your life, things really do change. It's one of those things where again, like I made peace with like, I'm okay, stepping out for a little bit. And I know it's there for me, if I wanted to come back, I could come back. There are ways to do that. It's not impossible. But it was it was just, it was really interesting to see how much that bothered people a choice that I made. For my life.
53
00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:53,000
Simone Keelah 19:28
54
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:54,000
It's kind of a trigger for people, right? It's like, it's almost like, are you by you leaving almost as like raises a question in people's minds of like, is this thing not sustainable? Is Is there no, like clear path to wealth? If this person's giving up, like, should I be giving up like it just makes people I think just oftentimes, like the decisions that we're making, make people confront, they have to be confronted with like, what their future and what their life looks like. And that could be kind of uncomfortable at times. Yeah.
55
00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:55,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 19:58
56
00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:56,000
And I want to be Be very careful with the giving up term. Because for me, I had already reached a point where I didn't even know that I could get that far, like I came from Woodstock, Georgia, which is like, maybe some, somebody listening will know where that is now, because like Gainesville, it's come up. But when I lived there, it was like, we had like a gas station and a Walmart, you know. So this was a very huge thing for me to even get to that point. And I, me personally, for my journey, I was very satisfied for getting there. Because you have the stream and you never really know, you're like, oh, I want to get this done. And then get there. So yeah, I reached what I wanted to reach. And I wanted to do other things. And yes, it was difficult to leave, I'm not gonna say it was easy. There was definitely some confusion for myself around me leaving, taking in other people's kind of emotions about it, and then second guessing myself. But at the end, I know for sure, it is not a place where I wanted to stay. And I'm glad I didn't stay. And I see something for myself now, creatively that I can own. That is an edited that isn't sold. That is just mine. And for me, artistically, that feels so much better for me. But it's one of those things I know, it's touchy because I think it makes people then question their own journey. I'm not telling you to leave your journey at all. I'm just saying this is right for me. So let me go do what I need to do.
57
00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:57,000
Simone Keelah 21:59
58
00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:58,000
Is where you are right now. It's like you've had this great career in HR over the past almost four years, right? Since COVID. And you moved to Barcelona with your husband. And so it's almost like this, this new chapter, though, right? You stepped away from a lot of like the, you know, the, I'm sure your creative, right. So there are creative things that you were doing in your life over the past four years, but you stepped away from like, the more kind of traditional stuff. And then now you've told me a little bit of finding your way back to it in different ways that look very different. You started to allude to it just then that feels like ownable. So where are you now? I love X pet story in Barcelona is literally one of my favorite cities in the world, Barcelona. So where are you now with? Like, where you're living? And like, how is it contributing to this chapter of your creative life?
59
00:00:58,000 --> 00:00:59,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 22:53
60
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:00,000
Oh, so many things. I think the biggest thing was getting out of New York, it was really, really helpful to break myself off from who I was, or how I labeled myself, like as a performer, and to start to investigate a new way of living and a new life. And that took the whole four years while I was in this, it was a lot of work to kind of get used to okay, I do this. Now. What does that mean? I don't want to shut off my creativity. But it was shut off for a while. And I was like, How do I put the spark back in it? Because I honestly got to a burnt out place, you still get burnt out during Broadway touring to a place where I was like, I do not want to do a show. You couldn't pay me enough money to do a show eight times a week, and only get one day off. And then that one day, I have to travel on a plane. So I actually get no day off. No, I was like, just I was so burnt out from it. So this new way of living. I was like, Oh, I have weekends. I'm not the entertainment. So I have a whole weekend. This is amazing. Like, what is this? So it was a lot of peaks and valleys of this is amazing to Who am I now that I've stripped myself of this identity. So when we made our way to Barcelona, Barcelona is such an incredibly creative and artistic city in of itself. And what I love about this city that I feel New York doesn't have any more than it used to have, as its has still maintained its rawness, in terms of creativity, like New York still has that. But you know, there's still the pressure of you need to maintain the level that you're at. And it needs to be a very high level because you're in New York City, right? So if you can feel kind of stunted as an artist, they're of like, Oh, if I don't do this perfectly, what if a certain person comes to my show and sees it and then they've seen this one awful show and then they think XYZ you know Whereas here, like everybody's super, super open to all sorts of different avenues, combining art and music and theatrics, and just really trying things, people here are not afraid to try things. So it kind of reinvigorated my confidence again. And then they're very just not I don't want to say like, forgiving, but like, they're very open to people like, hey, that didn't work, whatever we'll move on. You know, they don't, they don't go and they're like, Oh, I'll not go to your next show. Because you messed up that one line, or you did this or whatever, or go talk about you behind your back, right. So it's, it's a very like, here, it feels safe to be creative here, and to explore your creativity, to talk about your creativity. And people are very excited for you, as opposed to more of a competitive environment. There's room for everyone here. That's the feeling. It's yeah. So coming in here, I took very, very little baby steps because I hadn't performed in such a long time. And I started going to these like open jam nights, jazz jams and Soul, Funk Jams. And I got up and that the first time I went to one, it was like a match was struck. And I was like, Oh, this is that feeling that I got the first time I came in to New York and was performing like, I haven't felt this kind of thing in such a long time. And a lot of that is because I was able to say what I want, how I wanted dressed how I wanted as myself, expressing what I felt like I wanted to express at that time. I think a lot of people maybe don't understand that when you take creativity, and you definitely understand this, as well as a writer and what you've you've done and how you work. When you take your creativity and turn it into your main job, you have to be very mindful, and very careful that you're still maintaining another creative outlet that's not owned by like, corporate America, basically. You know, I mean, we can go into that. But yeah, your creativity then starts to get edited, you get told what certain things you can and cannot do, and you just feel like little bits of you start to kind of chip away a little bit. And when you're in it for many years, like I was find that that kind of wall here on there, where it can be very tough to maintain. And, you know, a lot of my friends like that have had, you know, pretty serious issues with mental health, with depression and anxiety. At that level, yes, on Broadway, it runs very, very deep, because you're working at such a high level, and there's such high pressure and you can hit that mundane, or you can hit that wall where somebody has just, you know, told you every inch, like where every inch of you needs to be, you know, I mean, for example, like I would get a note of like, holding my finger up, and it has to be like, an inch to the right. You know, like something that small? Wow, yeah, yeah, are being told, because I'm mixed, because y'all can't see me a mix. But, but I can and I've been told like different levels to stay out of the sun, stay out of the sun so you can get as light as possible. So you can play this role, or you need to be in the sun every day, get as dark as you can. So you could pass and pass for black but you can pass for black black, because the casting office said you're not black enough. You know, like these are the things that I you know, people don't know that you deal with every day. And after a while it can it can kind of hit you. But anyway, long story short, Barcelona is great. Going to these gyms and meeting these people who were so just warm and inviting, set off this new venture for me to then go back into being a vocalist in some shape or form, probably through jazz, that's what I'm leaning into. But I want to be so be careful and mindful that I'm doing it for me. And I'm not necessarily editing myself for somebody else. You know, I want to make sure that I'm enjoying it. So I don't know that it would be like an everyday thing but maybe gigs here and there or like half of the year like in and out because what I don't want to do is end up where I was, which was getting to a place where I was so burnt out and I got I was happy with where I had gotten to. But again, I hit this wall of, I need to do something else.
61
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:01,000
Simone Keelah 30:08
62
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:02,000
Yeah, oh, so many good things that you've said, One, I'm really happy that you have found this in Barcelona. And like just being in this environment has reinvigorated you in different ways. Again, if you guys haven't been Barcelona is like the best city ever. And then it's a point that I'm hearing where you get burnt out. And so it's like, it's not like sometimes I feel and I realized this because I was super burnt out late last year, where I wasn't necessarily overriding. But I was like, I was writing both, as you talked about for a paycheck. So corporate America writing in stuff where it was never my name on the byline, it was, it was a combination of like, you know, written words from all of the various stakeholders, right? All the things that go into, like, you know, what might be a speech or Brennan continent, insert, insert, and then going off and like having my thing, yes, but then, like, not having all of the time or energy because it's like, still, like you only have but so much capacity. And then you just you get to a point where, without you realizing it's a slow creep, you kind of just are like, Oh man, like I am, I don't want to do this, I feel completely unmotivated. And it kind of it's like a heartbreaking thing, sometimes for a creative to not want to create their thing. And you're gonna like, for me, it was like I was, I gotta create, because I gotta get this paycheck over here. So there's a forced creation, but there's something that's hanging over my head a little bit, you know, but then for you like the thing that you love, like, you're also forced, you were forced when you're, like, you know, touring and a part of Broadway, to be doing that, and not having an outlet. And so I really, it makes so much sense where that you are, where you are, where you're like, I want to be mindful of how it feels, you're now you know, reached a place where it's like, you know, the role that you want your creative endeavors to play in your life. And I love the fact that you're like, but I refuse for to not feel good. That's what I'm here like, this has to be fun. And so do you think that you'll ever go back to making it any sort of like full time, this is how I'm getting paid? Or at this point, are you thinking that it's always going to be an element of like, it's this thing that I'm doing somewhat on the side. So it keeps its lightness
63
00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:03,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 32:34
64
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,000
I, the latter of the first one, actually. It's been a struggle for me not to just now that I've chosen to go back into this not to put my production hat on and just go Go, go go go and build a show like that. i It's such a crazy thing that just flicks back on. So I think at some point, it probably would lean more full time. But the wonderful thing about like, touring over here in Europe, and that kind of side of things like in jazz clubs and cabarets is that you can piece it together in a way where even if it's your main thing, you can just work for a few months, and take a month off and re invigorate yourself, maybe change the structure of the set. So you're not doing the same songs all the time, there's definitely a lot more freedom to building that. Over here, there's a lot more fluidity and you can change and more things. So I think it would go probably in that direction, because I can't help. Yeah, I'd be like, Okay, I'm like, I'll build like a small little 20 minute set. And then I'm like, Oh, but I know how to do this 45 minute set, and then this, you know, it just gets bigger and bigger and bigger. Like I can't help it. But I'm much more excited about it. Because the biggest difference if it does turn full time is that I own it. I can take out a song that I don't want to sing anymore. I can keep my hair pink, if I want to. I can tan or stay out of the sun girl as much as I want. Yeah. You know what I mean? So I think the biggest part of that is like the ownership of your artistry because like you were saying, and I've read some of your stuff, because, you know, we've worked together and it's incredible, and I have the same thought of like, it's really hard to give over your work. And also like not get credit for it for something you've created. That is a really, really hard thing, like something you've come up with. And it's the same in the show like the way you set a line or the way you decided to do your like make an expression Shen or sing this note. And then like, the director gets credit for it, and you're like, can you give me his paycheck? But you know what? Like, it's yeah, it's these things where that's what I was trying to say earlier where I think people think creative jobs are just so creative and fun. And you get to play in all these things. But it actually is, it's still very closely related to like corporate America, it's still the same structure. Like it's a, you know, you're putting on a show people are paying to go see the show, you know, there's production behind it, there's strategy behind it. So it's just really interesting to actually see how closely related they are.
65
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:05,000
Simone Keelah 35:48
66
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,000
I have two questions, two final questions. But before I asked them, and I don't know if you want to share this, but can the people find you anywhere?
67
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 35:56
68
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,000
Oh, yes, you can find me on Instagram. I might have to spell it. Because it's a combination of Mel and my last name, so it's at Mel CZ ay, just know that it is a private account, but I'll let you in. But also, I'm taking an Instagram break for the next three months while I develop this Jas set that I'm working on. Yeah, so I will get back to any requests that are there. So don't think I'm like ignoring anybody. But yeah, that's where you can find me. And then I'll be probably posting some jazz things up there as well, in the late spring, early summer.
69
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,000
Simone Keelah 36:42
70
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,000
Love it. Mel. This has been such a good conversation. I'm feel like we could do a part two, because there's other things that I want to dive into. But I've done so many things.
71
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:11,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 36:51
72
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:12,000
And we're still figuring it out. People we're still figuring out. So that's a big point.
73
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:13,000
Simone Keelah 36:55
74
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,000
That's a big point. Yeah, it's a work in progress. Alright, so last two questions. Anything that has inspired your creativity recently, anything you've seen, you've watch you conversation, you had
75
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:15,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 37:07
76
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:16,000
the most recent inspiration. But creativity, which I don't know if you've seen this, but I had a night with an amazing friend that I just made here who is also a musician, and she's also transitioning out of tech. She's a social media manager, but she does like video and sings as well. And we had like this music night where we just sat and shared YouTube videos of like our favorite artists. And we watched like from beginning to end. And we just talked about music. And it was so amazing. And it was so inspiring. And she's Colombian so she's like interested in learning like more about American music. And I looked up this video of I don't know if you've ever seen this, Lucretia Campbell, one of the most incredible voices I've ever, ever heard in my life. This woman is ranged from bottom to top, and there is a video of her doing a song called lonely old woman. Go look it up immediately after this and then you'll you'll understand.
77
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:17,000
Simone Keelah 38:17
78
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,000
Okay, I will drop that in the show notes. Lucretia
79
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:19,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 38:21
80
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,000
Campbell, lonely old woman, everybody take a look at this video. It was a video that I was like, oh, I should show her some like American culture. Let me show her what are these like? It's like one of those church musicals almost or something like that. And she's an incredible vocalist. And I just sat there in awe, and then realized my friend was completely silent next to me just watching this incredible video. And it was just so inspiring. And then she started crying and that I started crying. And I was like, This is what music does. Yeah, this is what it does. These are those moments that I have missed. I don't miss the industry I was in. I don't have a desire to go back to that form. But this part, this is the part that I've been looking for. This is the part that I've been trying to get back in touch with. It's moving someone just moving someone making somebody feel something, period, period.
81
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:21,000
Simone Keelah 39:26
82
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:22,000
I love that we often look that up. And the last question, one thing your soul wants to tell listeners about living a creative life
83
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,000
Melanie Czaykowsky 39:39
84
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,000
one thing that my soul wants to tell people about living a creative life. Oh, there's a new sentence that I have written to myself that I look at every day. It's on my desk right here actually, on a post it note because I still use post its I won't tell you how old I am but I still If I do a post its are still okay great. Um, and it just says, have the audacity to try because living a creative life there are so many things so many emotions, so many up so many downs so many roads and pathways, but at the end of the day, What's hard is if you stop, people are gonna either like what you do or they're not gonna like what you do and I've struggled with that a lot. So, going back into this trying to like regain my confidence and work through this new vulnerability of heading into a new space. I just want to remind myself to have the audacity to try
85
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,000
Simone Keelah 40:53
86
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:26,000
that wraps up this session is soul talk. If you want to stay connected throughout the week, make sure you join the community on substack. There you receive weekly musings that hit on the intersection of mindfulness and creativity. Until next time, keep chatting friends
