ABOUT THIS EPISODE
There are numerous Prophetic teachings (ahadith) that emphasize the duty of spouses to fulfill each other’s intimate needs. When taken together, what the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught us about this matter is sensitive, comprehensive, and extremely helpful in preserving the sanctity of marriage and the feeling of tender care (mawadda and rahma (Q 30:21)) that is so important in a marital relationship.
The Prophet ﷺ has taught us, taking care of this need of the spouse is a very critical part of one’s religious practice.
Hadith 1: The Prophet ﷺ established a bond between Salman and Abu al-Darda'. Salman paid a visit to Abu al-Darda and found Um al-Darda' dressed in shabby clothes and asked her why she was in that state. She replied, "Your brother Abu al-Darda is not interested in the luxuries of this world." In the meantime, Abu al-Darda came and prepared a meal for Salman, and said to him, "Eat for I am fasting." Salman said, "I am not going to eat, unless you eat." So Abu al-Darda' ate. When it was night, Abu al-Darda' got up night/tahajjud prayer. Salman said , "Sleep," and he slept. Again Abu al-Darda' got up for the prayer, and Salman said , "Sleep." When it was the last part of the night, Salman said to him, "Get up now (for the prayer)." So both of them offered their prayers and Salman said to Abu al-Darda', "Your Lord has a right over you; and your soul has a right over you; and your family has a right over you; so you should give the rights of all those who have a right over you.” Later Abu al-Darda' visited the Prophet ﷺ and mentioned [what had transpired] to him. The Prophet ﷺ said, "Salman has spoken the truth." (Bukhari 6139)
Hadith 2: In a hadith reported by Abu Dharr, the Messenger ﷺ said: “In man's sexual intercourse (with his wife), there is a Sadaqa.” They (the Companions) said: “Messenger of Allah, is there reward for him who satisfies his sexual passion among us?” He said: “Tell me, if he were to devote it to something forbidden, would it not be a sin on his part? Similarly, if he were to devote it to something lawful, he should have a reward.” (Muslim)
Hadith 3: Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “If a man calls his wife to bed and she refuses and he spends the night angry with her, the angels will curse her until the morning.” (Bukhari and Muslim)
Hadith 4: Jabir reported that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) saw a woman, and so he came to his wife, Zainab, as she was tanning a leather and had sexual intercourse with her. He then went to his Companions and told them: “The woman advances and retires in the shape of a devil, so when one of you sees a woman, he should come to his wife, for that will repel what he feels in his heart.” (Muslim)
TEXT IN FOCUS:
The Prophet ﷺ established a bond of brotherhood between Salman and Abu al-Darda'. Salman paid a visit to Abu al-Darda and found Um al-Darda' dressed in shabby clothes and asked her why she was in that state. She replied, "Your brother Abu al-Darda is not interested in the luxuries of this world." In the meantime, Abu al-Darda came and prepared a meal for him (Salman), and said to him, "(Please) eat for I am fasting." Salman said, "I am not going to eat, unless you eat." So Abu al-Darda' ate. When it was night, Abu al-Darda' got up (for the night/tahajjud prayer). Salman said (to him), "Sleep," and he slept. Again Abu al-Darda' got up (for the prayer), and Salman said (to him), "Sleep." When it was the last part of the night, Salman said to him, "Get up now (for the prayer)." So both of them offered their prayers and Salman said to Abu al-Darda', "Your Lord has a right over you; and your soul has a right over you; and your family has a right over you; so you should give the rights of all those who have a right over you.” Later Abu al-Darda' visited the Prophet ﷺ and mentioned [what had transpired]. The Prophet ﷺ said, "Salman has spoken the truth." (Bukhari 6139)
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