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You are too fire with smoke on a boat Still back to see it, still carrying home Hands full of stuff, hot full of bow They tried those breakups, we got a bowl Now what you like what you do on the hook to the active dungeon.
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Welcome back to SDK Wednesdays with your girl Ash.
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We have a guest today, so let's get into SDK story time.
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Yeah.
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It's Ash on the track.
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SDK sisters, yeah, we back.
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Pull up a seat.
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It's story time now.
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Real talk, real laughs.
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Let me show you how.
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SDK sisters story time with Ash.
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Little life blessings in the flash.
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From the cold to the chaos, we clash.
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SDK sisters story time with Ash.
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Ash and today we have Miss Laura.
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Welcome to the show.
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Hi.
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I'm happy to be here.
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And you haven't been on a podcast in a long time.
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I was not allowed to go on podcasts anymore when I was with him.
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Oh wow.
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Can't be more successful than right.
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Um everybody's more successful than him.
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That's that's fine.
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Um but yeah.
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So yeah, you could go that's very interesting.
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But you can go ahead and tell your story.
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Oh god, okay.
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So I guess we've got to start from the beginning then.
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Um I I don't know what to call him, but I guess I'll just say my ex because I mean he he got convicted, so none of this is alleged, just so everybody knows that.
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Um, I I met him, I think it was my 29th birthday.
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Uh me and my friend went out to karaoke.
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We still go out to karaoke, it's like my favorite thing.
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Um and he approached us and he was like, keep in mind we go to this bar all the time, so I knew he was bullshitting.
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And also keep in mind, I was in another relationship at the time, and the guy was deployed, and so I was not looking at him at all in any kind of way.
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But he came up to me, my friend, and he was like, Oh, you want to go sit in the VIP area?
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There's no VIP area at this bar.
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Okay.
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Um, we were like, let's just see where he's going with this.
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So we basically just sat there and talked to them for a while and then like moved on.
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I was excited for my boyfriend at the time to come home from deployment, and so I wasn't even really that I even like stepped out when he woke up.
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So texted.
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And so, like, fast forward, I guess, like five months, and ex-boyfriend comes home from deployment, that blows up.
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Um, not a bad guy at all.
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Um, but I was absolutely heartbroken, and I do think that this relationship with my abuser would never have happened if I was not so heartbroken.
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My best friend lived with me at the time, and she can tell everybody that I was just not my soul.
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I was deeply depressed.
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I was so depressed that I had to start ketamine treatments.
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Um this bravado thing.
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So he starts texting me, like, Oh, do you guys want to go to the show?
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Do you guys want to come here?
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And so we're like, Yeah, let's just get me out of the house.
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Um, he actually starts this by trying to hook me up with his best friend, which was a weird way to play this.
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I knew that he had an ex-wife, um, but that he didn't really want to talk to her.
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At least that's what he said.
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I heard her on the phone with him a couple of times.
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I now know what was happening, but at the time it sounded like he was definitely the victim in the relationship because of the way he would put the phone on speaker phone around his friends at certain points in time.
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Um, so he starts for like a couple months trying to hook me up with his best friend, and it's just not working.
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Which again, weirdest play ever.
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And then one day he calls me and he's like, Hey, can you pick me up from New Jersey?
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And my car had been out of commission for months because a guy hit me in a Walmart parking lot.
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And I was like, sure, okay, I just got my rental car, I want to drive somewhere.
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You said you'll give me money, that's fine.
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I don't know how this happened to this day.
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I still wake up and I go, How the hell did this happen?
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But we all went to the pool, we got really drunk, he hopped in my bed, and from that point on he never left my house.
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Again, I think it was just how depressed I was and how upset I was.
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I think I just didn't care at that point in time.
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I also am and have always been a person who, if somebody says they need help, I'm gonna try and help them.
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Um, he made it seem like he didn't really have anywhere to go.
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Okay, let's try this.
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But the other was that he told me that he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and he only had a couple months to live.
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I don't know why I believe that.
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At the time, I just feel like that's something that's like so crazy to lie about.
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And I was like, oh well, like you you can stay here.
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I know you probably have like doctor's appointments, like all that stuff.
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And I guess I just I felt so bad kicking him out.
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I now know that if a stranger says that to you, then they're probably lying.
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Um, it became very clear very quickly that he was a hardcore alcoholic.
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Um, he was drinking about a fifth of vodka a day.
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Um, and his job was actually that he travels around the country selling furniture.
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So he had to New Jersey and he took me with him.
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So we just had like a fun summer by the beach.
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But about a couple months in, I was like, this doesn't, or maybe even like a month in, I started to say, like, this doesn't make sense.
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Didn't he say that he was really sick?
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And so I asked him one day, and he said, Oh, I went to a doctor and got a second opinion.
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That was a false diagnosis.
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And by this time, this guy was already living with me.
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My best friend had really needed somebody to cover the other part of the rent.
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So I just kind of went with it.
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Um, thinking that he was gonna be traveling all over the place all the time, and that I would go home, and you know, he would eventually just be away all the time.
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Again, there was at no point in this relationship that I was really like, oh my god, I'm so in love with this person.
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I can't live without this person, even from the very beginning, which is different than most domestic violence relationships.
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Um so then around October, up until this point, we had not had a fight.
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Really, I kind of was just looking at it as like a fun fling, so I wasn't really, you know, I didn't care that much about all the stuff that he was doing.
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He actually got sober and it was sober for about a month at this point.
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So I thought everything was going in the correct direction.
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Um and then one day he just got up, went and bought a bottle of gray goose and drank the whole thing.
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Um and my mom called me to check on me, and I was talking to her, and he was yelling at me to shut the fuck up.
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Why can't I just stop talking?
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And this caught me so off guard because this was the first time he'd ever spoken to me like this.
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Um he ends up calling me his ex-wife's name, punching me in the face to the point where there's I try to be like, What the fuck?
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Why did you just punch me in the face?
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And he said, Oh, because you falsely sent me to jail, like all the stuff that he used to say that he she did to him.
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Yeah, I was like, Is this dude having a PTSD attack?
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So I called emergency services because at that point I thought that he was having a mental breakdown.
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But then he looked at the dog and I was like, I'm gonna strangle your dog.
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So I take the dog, I throw it in his coworker's hotel room, and I come back.
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And as I'm opening the hotel door to go in and talk to him, he punches me in the stomach, he punches me in twice again, and then he takes me and pins me down on the bed, and then wraps my head and just squeezes until I can't breathe.
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And the whole time I'm trying to tell him, like, I can't breathe, I can't breathe.
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So when the cops got there, they arrested him, and I would think he called me from the jail, he said, You're just like my ex-wife, stay away from me.
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You did this on purpose.
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And I was in so much shock because I didn't even know what led up to all of that happening.
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I was literally just making dinner and not really talking to him.
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We hadn't been arguing that day, nothing weird was going on.
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I just was like, okay, well, I guess I'm I guess I'm done with that.
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So his friends and my best friend helped me get all this stuff out.
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He's calling me from jail later that night, he's calling me from jail for the next three days, and then it comes up to his hearing.
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So he asked me to go down to the jail and ask for them to let him out on bail.
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So I did in the middle of my work day.
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I took off, said I'm feeling sick, I and then went down to the jailhouse.
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He ended up being put on um home detention at his best friend's house.
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And he wasn't supposed to see me, but I was he still wanted me to go there.
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Um, and I don't know why I did.
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He started saying things like, You're just like my ex-wife, you just want me to go to jail.
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Um, he was denying that anything even happened, and after he said that that many times, um, he was talking to his friends and telling them that I'm in psychosis, and then I had a bunch of people telling me that I am in psychosis and that my memory is not correct, and maybe I should go check myself in somewhere.
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Um, and I asked my best friend who works in mental health care, and she said, if you were in psychosis, I would have already driven you to the local psychiatric hospital.
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Um so then after all that's cleared up, he ends up getting me to quit therapy because he said therapists just are making me worse.
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The more I work with my therapist, the worse that I'm getting.
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Um, he made me quit my ketamine treatments, uh, he said, which were overseen by a psychiatrist.
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Um, he said that it made me smell really awful like chemicals, and that nobody wants to tell me but that he's telling me that because he loves me.
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Um and then about for the past month around that time, my alarms stopped going off in the morning.
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So I was constantly late logging into work.
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I ended up losing my job over that, and I could not for the life of me figure out why my phone alarms weren't going off or why my alarm clock wasn't going off because I have both.
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And so he was started telling people I'm just a fat, lazy fuck.
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I had about 30 pounds in weight at this point in time after I lost 110 three years prior.
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Um, I started eating really bad.
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I started drinking a lot to keep up with him.
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Between his arrest and his court date, he punched me in the face.
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Uh I would say about 15 more times, and I didn't tell anybody because I felt so guilty about putting him in jail because he always told me, you know, he would just bring up like nobody likes a snitch, like I wouldn't even put my worst enemy in jail, nobody deserves to go to jail.
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Um, and on top of that, he stopped allowing me to go to church.
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So he basically threw a fit or outright would physically abuse me if I tried to do anything that he was not directly supervising me.
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It got to the point where I didn't see my best friend for six months.
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Um, I kind of disappeared off the face of the earth.
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I was allowed to go to karaoke.
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Hold on one second.
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I'm I'm on a podcast recording right now.
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Um sorry, can you cut that out?
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Um so yeah, after that, my best friend didn't see me for six months.
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I was so isolated.
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And it was my best friend already moved out of the apartment.
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It was just me and him.
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I was facing eviction every month because he had me go work with him and he just stopped working once I worked at his place of work.
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It was like he was just relying on me.
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Um, he would get so drunk that he couldn't wake up for work anymore.
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And eventually when the lease ended, I got out of that without an eviction on my record.
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Eventually, when the lease did, we didn't have anywhere to go.
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Um so we ended up staying at a red roof in um in a rural part of Maryland, and uh I was basically door dashing for money every day, and I had a job interview and it went really well.
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It's my current job now.
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I just had some time to wait before I could start because of the background checks and everything.
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So he goes and he gets a job as a bartender, and I'm like, okay, this will work.
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Um, so he works two days and he's doing fine, and one day they're like, Oh, we don't want you to come back anymore.
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And they say something like, apparently he had an interview, but he wasn't hired, and they had hired somebody else, and I was just racking my mind, like, how the hell did this happen?
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You went outside to the car to get the call that you got the job, and like told me all this stuff was going on, and I've seen the text messages from them telling you that you can come in and work.
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This doesn't make any sense.
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And what I later found out was that he did not get the job.
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Um, but he tried to gasolate himself, uh, gaslate this bar into thinking that they had hired him because the hiring manager was out for a week and he had thought that if he just started working that nobody would notice.
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Um, so he never really had a job.
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He was saving his own number in his phone as a number for the general manager at that bar and faking these text messages.
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So I would think he had a legitimate job.
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I don't know how any of this helped, but he kept saying that he did it for us and everything.
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And I told him, I said, you literally have an MBA from Johns Hopkins that you always talk about.
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Why don't you just go get a job with that MBA?
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Why do you keep having to bartend or sell furniture?
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This doesn't make any sense.
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Come to find out after his trial, um, he never even graduated high school, never went back to get his GED.
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So he has a 10th grade education and lies to people and says he has an MBA from Johns Hopkins University.
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Um, he, if you ask him, he played with all these bands and he had a really successful band and all this stuff back in the day.
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And I, after deep diving and hours and hours of research after he was locked up for the final time, um found out that all of that is false, and I have proof that all of that is false.
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But anyway, um, so we were basically door dashing for money again, and one night we're door dashing a lot, and I pull over, and at the and we had been fighting and fighting because I was really, really mad at him about lying about the job thing, and it just seemed I don't know why that bothered me more than any of the other stuff, but I think it might have been the straw that broke the camel's back.
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I just was so angry about that, and I had known that he had prior had a relationship with a woman who is essentially a sugar mama, um, and I shouldn't have thrown it back in his face.
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Uh, but she's a 56-year-old woman, and he was like 28 at the time, that's gross.
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Um, and I said, Well, at least I wasn't a hooker, and so he punched me in the face in the pan express parking lot, got arrested again.
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Um, it was at that time that I decided to call his ex-wife because I had his phone in the hotel room.
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And me and her talk for like five hours.
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Um, he said that she he called the cops and she set him up with false charges and that she was the one who wouldn't let him have any time alone.
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And you know, basically that she's this evil, abusive psychopath who ruined his life.
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Um, and that he just didn't press any charges on her because he can't stand to put anybody away with his benevolent heart.
00:20:58.400 --> 00:20:59.599
That is not what happened.
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Um, apparently they he proposed to her very quickly um after she came to work for him, being um his employee.
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He told everybody that he married her as a business transaction so she can get the green card.
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Um, he's not even her sponsor.
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She has asylum.
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She never even needed him for a green card.
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He apparently, when they did try to change her visa, provided her with fake tax returns and got her immigration status flagged.
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Because he's saying he makes all this money and that he's gonna take care of everybody.
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And they were married for four months um before he ended up going to jail for a minute, and uh she ended up going back to live with her sister.
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And here's the part that I didn't know is that for the next year he was telling her that they were gonna get back together up until the day he posted a picture of me.
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So all of her stuff that seemed crazy was actually just how any wife who thought that her husband was cheating on her would.
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Um, on top of that, he was like getting fake text messages and logging in to our accounts and sending messages back and forth and deleting them on the other side.
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So he was making it look like we were messaging each other crazy shit.
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We never did that, and we were able to like get that together.
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I am now helping her with her VAWA immigration case and all that.
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She has everything from my cases, but um he ends up calling me the next day because they let him out on recognizance, which I wish they didn't do, but um he ends up calling me the next day and I feel bad for him.
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And I'm like, okay, we're broken up, like we're not together, but you can stay here for the night until you figure out, you know, what you want to do.
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And from that point on, we really didn't have any kind of romantic relationship.
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I just felt bad, you know, putting him out on the street, which I shouldn't have, but I did.
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Um and so then eventually things happened.
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He actually had me sectioned, told the police that I was suicidal.
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Um I was taken to the hospital.
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The nurses quickly figured out that I was being abused, not suicidal.
00:23:22.079 --> 00:23:26.319
Um, and while I was out, he totaled my car.
00:23:27.039 --> 00:23:30.559
So I lost my only income and I was starting this new job in a week.
00:23:30.640 --> 00:23:33.680
And my aunt had been telling me, like, you can come stay with me.
00:23:33.839 --> 00:23:35.119
That's where I'm living now.
00:23:35.200 --> 00:23:40.559
Um, you can come stay with me back on your feet with this new job and eventually get an apartment.
00:23:40.640 --> 00:23:41.599
And so I was like, cool.
00:23:41.680 --> 00:23:44.400
So I sat him down and I said, like, listen, like this isn't gonna work.
00:23:44.559 --> 00:23:46.960
Like the hotel room's paid through Saturday.
00:23:47.039 --> 00:23:49.920
You can stay here until then, but we are separating.
00:23:50.160 --> 00:23:51.599
I don't want this anymore.
00:23:51.680 --> 00:23:52.640
I don't love you.
00:23:52.880 --> 00:23:54.319
I need to get my life together.
00:23:54.400 --> 00:23:59.759
And every time that it looks like I'm getting my life together, something you do destroys it.
00:23:59.920 --> 00:24:05.440
I was not yelling at him, very calm, pretty much said it just like I said that to you.
00:24:05.519 --> 00:24:12.880
Because a normal person who is not a narcissist or doesn't have that abusive mentality would be able to sit there and go, you know what, my life is fucked up.
00:24:12.960 --> 00:24:14.240
Maybe I do need to go get some help.
00:24:14.400 --> 00:24:18.640
And I told him, I said, You have Medicaid, you can go to a rehab.
00:24:19.119 --> 00:24:38.559
Um and so he decided that that wasn't good enough, and that I left him homeless without a job, because what I forgot to mention is he had gotten another sales job and then got fired two days prior for drinking on the job.
00:24:38.799 --> 00:24:56.160
So I looked at him and I said, if you your hourly paid daily, you could have Ubered yourself back and forth to work, you could have paid for the hotel, you could have done all that together, but instead you wanted to get caught drinking on the sales floor.
00:24:57.279 --> 00:24:58.240
That's not my fault.
00:24:58.400 --> 00:25:05.119
And I think it was the first time that I ever that he ever tried to blame me for anything that I just looked at him and said, That's not my fault.
00:25:05.359 --> 00:25:07.039
And it felt really good.
00:25:08.640 --> 00:25:25.359
But he grabbed my sweater, tried to rip it off of me, twisted it so that he was choking me, took my arm behind me and tried to break it, um, punched me in the face.
00:25:25.680 --> 00:25:32.079
Uh, but what he didn't know was that I had my phone in my pocket and I used the Siri function to call the police.
00:25:32.319 --> 00:25:41.359
So the police operator got that entire interaction on the 911 call, and by the time he realized what was going on, they were already outside.
00:25:41.680 --> 00:25:48.319
And this time I didn't feel bad, I didn't scream, I didn't cry, I didn't beg them not to take him to jail.
00:25:50.000 --> 00:25:50.640
Sorry.
00:25:51.599 --> 00:25:55.599
I just did it.
00:25:56.400 --> 00:26:08.160
And so he caught me for about four days, and then I found out there was a no-contact order, and so I turned him into the police, and he ended up being charged with 102 counts of domestic violence total.
00:26:09.359 --> 00:26:20.480
Um about the next day after that happened, I went to my aunt's house and I spent the next week heavily doing research on this man.
00:26:20.880 --> 00:26:28.799
Um when you go on his Maryland case search, Maryland makes everybody's court cases um visible.
00:26:29.119 --> 00:26:43.920
But when you go on his case search, the stuff with his ex-wife is not there because he was actually able to paint a seal it because of the way that Maryland um handles domestic violence situations, their misdemeanors, not felonies.
00:26:44.640 --> 00:26:49.680
And so um when I looked him up, that stuff wasn't there.
00:26:49.920 --> 00:27:00.160
But if that stuff had been there, like all the charges, because he was able to explain away the temporary restraining order, as that's kind of easy to get, and she never got a final.
00:27:01.839 --> 00:27:28.720
But if that hadn't been able to be erased, I would have never been in this relationship in the first place, and so that's why I'm partnering with a Maryland state rep to try and pass the DV registry in Maryland, uh, where on your when you have multiple domestic violence convictions, you go in a registry like the sex offenders registry.
00:27:28.960 --> 00:27:38.160
Um that's really what I've been putting a lot of my time into because I'm a workaholic and I deal with trauma by doing it.
00:27:38.640 --> 00:27:46.559
Um I think a lot of the pushback is people are talking about like oh, like victims, false charges, that kind of stuff.
00:27:46.720 --> 00:27:55.279
But I mean, the way that I see it is if you're convicted three times of domestic violence in three separate instances, you're probably not the victim anymore.
00:27:55.680 --> 00:28:02.880
Um, but yeah, I mean, yes, I found out that he Wikipedia page for himself.
00:28:03.119 --> 00:28:16.319
I found out from other people that he was lying about being adopted from South Africa, but I knew his siblings in high school tell me that lie, but I was just very confused when people were like, Is he really from South Africa?
00:28:16.559 --> 00:28:24.160
Um he never got a GED, went to community college for a little bit, and then failed out of undergrad.
00:28:24.400 --> 00:28:26.880
So he was lying about his education.
00:28:27.119 --> 00:28:30.000
Um, his entire employment history was false.
00:28:30.079 --> 00:28:35.119
He hasn't really held a job for more than a couple months in the last 10 years.
00:28:35.440 --> 00:28:49.359
Um, but if you talk to him, he's this big-time metal promoter and the best interior designer ever, and he's one Baltimore's best bartender, and like towards the end, he was actually kind of talking to people who weren't there.
00:28:49.599 --> 00:28:52.400
And so I know there's narcissism involved.
00:28:52.559 --> 00:28:56.640
I just don't know if there's anything else involved.
00:28:56.799 --> 00:29:05.039
He seems so delusional that I'm not sure that he lives on the same planet as us.
00:29:05.200 --> 00:29:08.720
But I mean, I did end up getting a kind of happy ending.
00:29:08.960 --> 00:29:17.920
Um, he ended up pleading, taking a plea deal and pleading guilty and got a 10-year sentence, all but six months suspended.
00:29:18.400 --> 00:29:30.720
Um, probably gets cut in December, but he also has a bunch of orders to go straight to rehab and to not talk to me for 10 years, and or he goes back to prison for 10 years.
00:29:30.960 --> 00:29:38.240
And so I think I'm glad I stuck with it, and I'm glad something woke me up.
00:29:39.359 --> 00:30:09.039
Um and I would say to any woman in that situation that getting a conviction has immensely helped me and immensely opened the door to healing and moving on from this relationship, even so much as having a conviction allowed me to get with the credit bureaus and clear some of the stuff that was bad because of him, because of the abuse, because I had proof.
00:30:09.200 --> 00:30:11.279
I was able to get a longer restraining order.
00:30:11.440 --> 00:30:20.400
I think a lot of times victims don't want to go through court, but I think it's made it a lot easier.
00:30:20.559 --> 00:30:23.599
He can't lie about me like he lied about his ex-wife.
00:30:23.680 --> 00:30:24.799
He pled guilty.
00:30:25.039 --> 00:30:28.079
He looked at a judge and said, I did this.
00:30:30.559 --> 00:30:35.920
So, yeah, I mean, any questions?
00:30:37.359 --> 00:30:40.960
So I want to say first off, thank you for telling your story.
00:30:41.119 --> 00:30:44.319
And I it was a little, it's a wild one, isn't it?
00:30:44.640 --> 00:30:45.839
It's a little crazy.
00:30:46.079 --> 00:30:50.480
And I was trying to come, I I try and mute myself whenever um you're talking.
00:30:50.559 --> 00:30:53.279
I was trying to come off mute, but I press the wrong button.
00:30:53.440 --> 00:30:56.319
So this is um, I heard you say, can you edit that out?
00:30:56.400 --> 00:30:59.119
This is just like a raw, real, whatever podcast.
00:30:59.279 --> 00:31:00.559
So you know life happens.
00:31:01.200 --> 00:31:02.480
You can go back and see that.
00:31:02.559 --> 00:31:05.039
Yeah, life happens just to cut that part again.
00:31:05.359 --> 00:31:07.359
But uh, you said he got how many years?
00:31:07.440 --> 00:31:08.960
Did you say 10 years?
00:31:09.440 --> 00:31:10.079
Yeah.
00:31:10.559 --> 00:31:18.480
Um, so the thing about America, you have this one county and it's Hartford County, and they are hard asses on domestic violence.
00:31:19.680 --> 00:31:25.440
That I think really helped was the other counties that we were in whenever he got arrested, sent me a summons.
00:31:25.519 --> 00:31:32.799
In Maryland, that means that I they go, we want you in court, but like we can't really do anything if you don't show up.
00:31:33.119 --> 00:31:35.119
So he was able to talk me out of showing up.
00:31:35.279 --> 00:31:42.400
Hartford County subpoenaed me, meaning that if I don't show up there, I'm getting drugged back there in handcuffs.
00:31:42.640 --> 00:31:43.279
Oh, yeah.
00:31:43.440 --> 00:31:44.960
They they are serious.
00:31:45.279 --> 00:31:52.240
So they're serious, and they actually I have seen them, saw them do a prosecution where the victim was refusing to speak.
00:31:52.480 --> 00:31:53.119
Hmm.
00:31:54.319 --> 00:31:58.880
So they're like serious about it up there, but also the police officers were better.
00:31:58.960 --> 00:32:04.559
They understood coordinative control and they understood that this was not an isolated incident.
00:32:04.720 --> 00:32:12.000
And it was mostly male police officers, um, which I know don't have a great reputation, but they seemed trained up there.
00:32:12.319 --> 00:32:16.000
But they were also working with like Chris Hansen and stuff to do like stings up there.
00:32:16.079 --> 00:32:23.119
So I don't know if that if like they just have a better system, they have a DV judge.
00:32:23.519 --> 00:32:30.880
So all day on Tuesdays, they just do DV cases, and that judge only oversees DV cases.
00:32:31.279 --> 00:32:33.119
No, the same two prosecutors.
00:32:33.279 --> 00:32:38.720
So I think that they just have a really dedicated DA's office on trying to stop this.
00:32:38.960 --> 00:32:42.640
It's also a really safe county, so that's really their only crime.
00:32:43.359 --> 00:32:43.680
Oh.
00:32:44.160 --> 00:32:48.319
If you like, yeah, I'm not from Baltimore, so that's a lot different.
00:32:48.400 --> 00:32:50.000
The Baltimore DA don't got time for that.
00:32:50.079 --> 00:32:51.039
Yeah, you know what I mean?
00:32:51.359 --> 00:32:52.480
Yeah, that's crazy.
00:32:52.799 --> 00:32:54.880
Um but that's good though.
00:32:55.839 --> 00:32:58.880
Like, we gotta ask them and like see what they're doing different.
00:32:59.920 --> 00:33:02.000
Why are they able to get so many convictions?
00:33:02.079 --> 00:33:05.920
I didn't see one abuser walk out there unless the woman used spousal privilege.
00:33:06.079 --> 00:33:06.559
Hmm.
00:33:07.759 --> 00:33:11.039
I didn't see one one person walk out of there scot-free.
00:33:11.839 --> 00:33:19.039
Yeah, that's that's definitely I guess that I just got a really good judge, but his wife does work for like children's advocacy and stuff.
00:33:19.119 --> 00:33:22.799
So I'm thinking maybe his wife has been educating him at home.
00:33:23.440 --> 00:33:31.039
But um, the fact that I got a male judge and like actually I think that sometimes male judges are harder on them than female judges are.
00:33:32.160 --> 00:33:47.920
Because I can tell you, like, my guy friends who are healthy, when I tell them what he did, they look at me like I got two, like they believe me, but they seem even more flabbergasted than the women do because they can't ever imagine themselves doing that.
00:33:48.559 --> 00:33:49.440
You know what I mean?
00:33:49.680 --> 00:33:51.680
Yeah, like so.
00:33:51.839 --> 00:34:05.680
I think maybe that happened, but I mean he still stood there at sentencing and lied to the judge and said that he had an MBA from Johns Hopkins, and basically that he's not a homeless man.
00:34:05.920 --> 00:34:11.360
I mean, his own brother wrote a letter in support of putting him in jail for me.
00:34:12.960 --> 00:34:19.760
So the judge literally looked at him and said, basically, I wish I could lock you up for life because you're a monster.
00:34:20.159 --> 00:34:20.880
Oh, wow.
00:34:21.119 --> 00:34:26.000
I think of any of any of the men in there, and it was all men who were being charged.
00:34:26.079 --> 00:34:28.480
I want to make that very clear for the listeners also.
00:34:29.519 --> 00:34:35.440
When they try to pull out the lesbian statistic, that's over your lifetime, not in the relationship that you're in.
00:34:35.599 --> 00:34:37.199
This is a man problem.
00:34:38.000 --> 00:34:47.519
Um, I mean, male victims do exist, but if you look at DV courts, I have them in my comments all day, every day.
00:34:47.840 --> 00:34:57.360
But out of all the men in there, he looked at him like, you are gonna kill somebody one day if I don't put you away.
00:34:57.599 --> 00:35:10.079
So he got the most jail time, he got the highest sentence, but really the other guys like made threats, or it was like their first time, or and they were like willing to work with the judge and like wanted to do the classes.
00:35:10.239 --> 00:35:12.719
He got up there, he didn't even apologize to me.
00:35:12.880 --> 00:35:19.760
He tried to say we had a mutually toxic relationship and that it's all the alcohol, just all alcohol.
00:35:20.960 --> 00:35:29.280
Oh so does he have you I heard you say six months suspended, so he has to do like nine and a half years?
00:35:29.440 --> 00:35:30.400
Is that what that means?
00:35:30.719 --> 00:35:34.639
No, he's doing six months and then all but six months suspended.
00:35:34.719 --> 00:35:38.800
Oh so he's doing six months, but he has a total abstinence order.
00:35:38.960 --> 00:35:42.719
If he so much as has a sip of beer, he's going back to jail for ten years.
00:35:43.039 --> 00:35:43.360
Oh.
00:35:44.719 --> 00:35:55.920
And the and the way it seems like he drinks, if you're drinking on the job like that, I don't think he's gonna make I mean he's probably sober right now because he's in jail, but like, I don't know, they be making toilet water.
00:35:57.039 --> 00:35:58.239
So I don't I don't know.
00:36:01.119 --> 00:36:05.360
They had him on that vacation for alcoholics in there.
00:36:05.519 --> 00:36:05.840
Uh-huh.
00:36:06.159 --> 00:36:23.280
So I think that might be keeping him okay, but like I I said this, like, he's not gonna be able to get a job, like a regular job, like he's not gonna be able to go back and work at these places that he was working before if they run his criminal office.
00:36:25.280 --> 00:36:28.320
They're gonna say you're convicted of domestic violence.
00:36:29.360 --> 00:36:37.119
Um so I mean, the one bad thing about this is after the 10 years is up, he can get it expunged.
00:36:37.440 --> 00:36:41.920
Because Maryland charges it as a misdemeanor, other states charge it as a felony.
00:36:42.239 --> 00:36:51.199
I love Maryland case search because you can look on there and like see people's like record, like uh, but if they can get this stuff expunged, then what good does it do?
00:36:51.440 --> 00:36:51.840
Yeah.
00:36:52.079 --> 00:36:55.280
I'm not worried about me, I'm worried about the next girl.
00:36:55.599 --> 00:36:56.239
Right.
00:36:56.559 --> 00:37:00.079
Cause I hope and I pray that I'm the last, you know?
00:37:00.400 --> 00:37:00.719
Right.
00:37:00.800 --> 00:37:01.440
I understand that.
00:37:01.679 --> 00:37:04.000
I know a lot of people are like, I hope they meet someone else.
00:37:04.079 --> 00:37:04.480
I don't.
00:37:04.639 --> 00:37:09.039
I hope he just disappears forever into the abyss.
00:37:16.159 --> 00:37:18.719
It was something he was praying on it.
00:37:19.119 --> 00:37:20.400
I'm sorry, go ahead.
00:37:21.199 --> 00:37:24.719
I think he was preying on older women before me because he wants a mommy.
00:37:25.840 --> 00:37:28.239
He doesn't want to have to work, you know.
00:37:29.599 --> 00:37:31.440
Yeah, I have heard of sugar bombers.
00:37:31.679 --> 00:37:34.960
I mean, I guess the same like sugar daddies.
00:37:35.199 --> 00:37:38.400
Um some people just don't like working.
00:37:38.639 --> 00:37:41.360
Uh so all the lies he's he told you.
00:37:41.519 --> 00:37:50.079
Um that the I think it was the school, and then you said he was texting himself as his employer.
00:37:52.000 --> 00:37:57.599
His employment, he he said he was like a guitar player and toward with all these famous bands.
00:37:57.679 --> 00:38:07.599
He said he almost went to the 2008 Olympics, like all this stuff, and like I was a hardcore athlete when I was younger, so like the stuff that he was saying just didn't make any sense to me.
00:38:08.400 --> 00:38:17.920
It's kind of like that Dejaon Love guy, like where like real football players are like, you didn't know this, like yeah, he he had a a lot going on with these lies.
00:38:18.079 --> 00:38:23.599
Um he just is I felt like I was on one of those documentaries on Netflix.
00:38:24.000 --> 00:38:25.920
It might be one day.
00:38:26.880 --> 00:38:36.880
Um okay, so is there any last advice that you would like to give a lady that's maybe in a situation kind of similar?
00:38:38.079 --> 00:38:42.559
Find any way possible to keep in touch with your friends.
00:38:43.119 --> 00:38:48.400
See, my best friend knew the situation I was in, so she was never asking about our relationship.
00:38:49.599 --> 00:38:56.400
She always made sure to keep contact so that the day I was ready to go, she was ready to go.
00:38:56.639 --> 00:39:00.320
I there's this big leave him or leave me out of it debate.
00:39:00.559 --> 00:39:09.199
And I really just want to hammer home that, like, even if you're in a situation, if your friend is in the situation, do whatever you can to sticker.
00:39:09.519 --> 00:39:20.159
I mean, don't put yourself in physical harm's way, but keep that line of communication open because without my friends and about my family, I don't think they would have gotten out.
00:39:20.239 --> 00:39:22.880
I think I would have left that relationship in a body bag.
00:39:23.679 --> 00:39:33.519
And that's been the hardest part, I think, learning about the signs of like spousal murder and all that stuff, and that he hit every single sign.
00:39:33.679 --> 00:39:37.679
And so I don't think he intended for me to leave the hotel room at life that night.
00:39:37.920 --> 00:39:39.599
Oh I can't prove it.
00:39:39.760 --> 00:39:45.119
That's not what he was convicted of, but I do not think I was supposed to get out of there.
00:39:46.320 --> 00:39:47.760
But you're here now.
00:39:48.159 --> 00:39:49.199
That's all that matters.
00:39:49.519 --> 00:39:51.519
But I'm here now, and he's in jail.
00:39:53.440 --> 00:39:59.519
I hate that I'm so happy about that, but you know, it gave me a good six months to get back to myself.
00:39:59.840 --> 00:40:06.159
I also think that's why it's been so much easier for me to bounce back because he's not on the outside.
00:40:06.239 --> 00:40:07.599
I'm not looking over my shoulder.
00:40:07.679 --> 00:40:08.880
I know exactly where he is.
00:40:09.119 --> 00:40:09.280
Right.
00:40:09.599 --> 00:40:12.719
You know, we can like chill out for a minute.
00:40:13.039 --> 00:40:17.920
Um, and then also to women, just don't be afraid to press charges.
00:40:18.400 --> 00:40:25.440
Because I heard all the horror stories of like they're not gonna do anything, they're not, they're not he's never gonna go to jail.
00:40:26.400 --> 00:40:27.679
He's in jail.
00:40:27.920 --> 00:40:28.400
Right.
00:40:28.639 --> 00:40:32.880
So I just kind of want my story to be like kind of that happy ending.
00:40:33.440 --> 00:40:36.559
That because I feel like we hear so many bad stories.
00:40:37.760 --> 00:40:39.280
Do not be afraid to call the police.
00:40:39.360 --> 00:40:43.039
This is the one time, the one situation where yes, you should be snitching.
00:40:43.280 --> 00:40:47.440
Okay, it saved my life to be a snitch.
00:40:48.719 --> 00:40:50.559
That's funny the way you said it.
00:40:50.719 --> 00:40:55.599
But um because he would always be like, he would always say, Oh, don't be snitched, never like a snitch.
00:40:55.760 --> 00:40:57.039
Like, you're trying to kill me, bro.
00:40:57.119 --> 00:40:58.079
Like, what are you talking about?
00:41:00.800 --> 00:41:03.440
I'm already getting stitches, so like what's gonna happen?
00:41:03.599 --> 00:41:05.280
What's the worst thing that can happen?
00:41:05.519 --> 00:41:13.519
Like, so um, and if someone wants to reach out to you, how can they reach out to you?
00:41:14.320 --> 00:41:18.159
Um, on TikTok is where I'm the most responsive.
00:41:18.239 --> 00:41:19.840
That is bad fitches.
00:41:20.480 --> 00:41:25.679
B-A-D-F-I-T-C-H-E-S, like bad bitches with an F.
00:41:26.239 --> 00:41:32.639
Um, and then my Instagram is badfitches1, and that's really the only two social medias that I look at.
00:41:34.239 --> 00:41:39.440
Um so yeah, I would say TikTok or Instagram is probably the best.
00:41:39.599 --> 00:41:44.400
Um, there is a Google form on my TikTok that I want to plug.
00:41:44.559 --> 00:41:57.840
I need women if you happen to be in Maryland or the greater Maryland area and you're listening to this, I need women to send me their stories and to come help me fight for this bill because it's gonna make all of us safer.
00:41:59.199 --> 00:42:03.760
And I will link all of that um in the description.
00:42:04.079 --> 00:42:07.599
And I want to say thank you again for coming on the show.
00:42:07.760 --> 00:42:15.519
Um, and you didn't hesitate like when I asked you, we did have to work out the scheduling, but we finally got here, we made it.
00:42:15.760 --> 00:42:17.840
Yeah, I'm a busy bee.
00:42:17.920 --> 00:42:34.000
Uh but yeah, um, thank you for letting me come on here and talk about my story and then also being able to plug this bill because I think it's something that everybody can agree on, no matter your political party, that abusers suck.
00:42:34.400 --> 00:42:36.239
Absolutely 100%.
00:42:37.920 --> 00:42:44.320
And with that, um I'm gonna get out of here and SDK family.
00:42:44.480 --> 00:42:46.880
I'll see you guys next Wednesday.
00:42:55.039 --> 00:42:59.280
Yo, it's Ash on the mic, we out.
00:42:59.360 --> 00:42:59.920
That's the end.
00:43:00.239 --> 00:43:02.000
If you felt this one, hit share.
00:43:02.159 --> 00:43:02.639
Tell a friend.
00:43:02.880 --> 00:43:03.840
Thanks for riding with me.
00:43:04.159 --> 00:43:05.440
Every take every chance.
00:43:05.840 --> 00:43:08.239
See you next Wednesday, SDK Fan.
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See you next Wednesday.
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Thank you for the day with you next Wednesday, SDK Family.
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You are too fire with smoke on a boat Still back to see it, still carrying home Hands full of stuff, hot full of bow They tried those breakups, we got a bowl Now what you like what you do on the hook to the active dungeon.
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Welcome back to SDK Wednesdays with your girl Ash.
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We have a guest today, so let's get into SDK story time.
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Yeah.
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It's Ash on the track.
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SDK sisters, yeah, we back.
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Pull up a seat.
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It's story time now.
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Real talk, real laughs.
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Let me show you how.
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SDK sisters story time with Ash.
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Little life blessings in the flash.
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From the cold to the chaos, we clash.
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SDK sisters story time with Ash.
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Ash and today we have Miss Laura.
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Welcome to the show.
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Hi.
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I'm happy to be here.
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And you haven't been on a podcast in a long time.
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I was not allowed to go on podcasts anymore when I was with him.
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Oh wow.
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Can't be more successful than right.
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Um everybody's more successful than him.
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That's that's fine.
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Um but yeah.
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So yeah, you could go that's very interesting.
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But you can go ahead and tell your story.
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Oh god, okay.
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So I guess we've got to start from the beginning then.
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Um I I don't know what to call him, but I guess I'll just say my ex because I mean he he got convicted, so none of this is alleged, just so everybody knows that.
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Um, I I met him, I think it was my 29th birthday.
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Uh me and my friend went out to karaoke.
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We still go out to karaoke, it's like my favorite thing.
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Um and he approached us and he was like, keep in mind we go to this bar all the time, so I knew he was bullshitting.
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And also keep in mind, I was in another relationship at the time, and the guy was deployed, and so I was not looking at him at all in any kind of way.
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But he came up to me, my friend, and he was like, Oh, you want to go sit in the VIP area?
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There's no VIP area at this bar.
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Okay.
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Um, we were like, let's just see where he's going with this.
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So we basically just sat there and talked to them for a while and then like moved on.
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I was excited for my boyfriend at the time to come home from deployment, and so I wasn't even really that I even like stepped out when he woke up.
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So texted.
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And so, like, fast forward, I guess, like five months, and ex-boyfriend comes home from deployment, that blows up.
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Um, not a bad guy at all.
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Um, but I was absolutely heartbroken, and I do think that this relationship with my abuser would never have happened if I was not so heartbroken.
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My best friend lived with me at the time, and she can tell everybody that I was just not my soul.
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I was deeply depressed.
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I was so depressed that I had to start ketamine treatments.
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Um this bravado thing.
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So he starts texting me, like, Oh, do you guys want to go to the show?
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Do you guys want to come here?
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And so we're like, Yeah, let's just get me out of the house.
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Um, he actually starts this by trying to hook me up with his best friend, which was a weird way to play this.
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I knew that he had an ex-wife, um, but that he didn't really want to talk to her.
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At least that's what he said.
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I heard her on the phone with him a couple of times.
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I now know what was happening, but at the time it sounded like he was definitely the victim in the relationship because of the way he would put the phone on speaker phone around his friends at certain points in time.
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Um, so he starts for like a couple months trying to hook me up with his best friend, and it's just not working.
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Which again, weirdest play ever.
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And then one day he calls me and he's like, Hey, can you pick me up from New Jersey?
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And my car had been out of commission for months because a guy hit me in a Walmart parking lot.
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And I was like, sure, okay, I just got my rental car, I want to drive somewhere.
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You said you'll give me money, that's fine.
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I don't know how this happened to this day.
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I still wake up and I go, How the hell did this happen?
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But we all went to the pool, we got really drunk, he hopped in my bed, and from that point on he never left my house.
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Again, I think it was just how depressed I was and how upset I was.
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I think I just didn't care at that point in time.
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I also am and have always been a person who, if somebody says they need help, I'm gonna try and help them.
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Um, he made it seem like he didn't really have anywhere to go.
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Okay, let's try this.
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But the other was that he told me that he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and he only had a couple months to live.
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I don't know why I believe that.
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At the time, I just feel like that's something that's like so crazy to lie about.
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And I was like, oh well, like you you can stay here.
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I know you probably have like doctor's appointments, like all that stuff.
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And I guess I just I felt so bad kicking him out.
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I now know that if a stranger says that to you, then they're probably lying.
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Um, it became very clear very quickly that he was a hardcore alcoholic.
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Um, he was drinking about a fifth of vodka a day.
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Um, and his job was actually that he travels around the country selling furniture.
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So he had to New Jersey and he took me with him.
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So we just had like a fun summer by the beach.
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But about a couple months in, I was like, this doesn't, or maybe even like a month in, I started to say, like, this doesn't make sense.
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Didn't he say that he was really sick?
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And so I asked him one day, and he said, Oh, I went to a doctor and got a second opinion.
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That was a false diagnosis.
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And by this time, this guy was already living with me.
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My best friend had really needed somebody to cover the other part of the rent.
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So I just kind of went with it.
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Um, thinking that he was gonna be traveling all over the place all the time, and that I would go home, and you know, he would eventually just be away all the time.
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Again, there was at no point in this relationship that I was really like, oh my god, I'm so in love with this person.
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I can't live without this person, even from the very beginning, which is different than most domestic violence relationships.
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Um so then around October, up until this point, we had not had a fight.
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Really, I kind of was just looking at it as like a fun fling, so I wasn't really, you know, I didn't care that much about all the stuff that he was doing.
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He actually got sober and it was sober for about a month at this point.
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So I thought everything was going in the correct direction.
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Um and then one day he just got up, went and bought a bottle of gray goose and drank the whole thing.
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Um and my mom called me to check on me, and I was talking to her, and he was yelling at me to shut the fuck up.
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Why can't I just stop talking?
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And this caught me so off guard because this was the first time he'd ever spoken to me like this.
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Um he ends up calling me his ex-wife's name, punching me in the face to the point where there's I try to be like, What the fuck?
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Why did you just punch me in the face?
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And he said, Oh, because you falsely sent me to jail, like all the stuff that he used to say that he she did to him.
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Yeah, I was like, Is this dude having a PTSD attack?
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So I called emergency services because at that point I thought that he was having a mental breakdown.
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But then he looked at the dog and I was like, I'm gonna strangle your dog.
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So I take the dog, I throw it in his coworker's hotel room, and I come back.
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And as I'm opening the hotel door to go in and talk to him, he punches me in the stomach, he punches me in twice again, and then he takes me and pins me down on the bed, and then wraps my head and just squeezes until I can't breathe.
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And the whole time I'm trying to tell him, like, I can't breathe, I can't breathe.
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So when the cops got there, they arrested him, and I would think he called me from the jail, he said, You're just like my ex-wife, stay away from me.
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You did this on purpose.
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And I was in so much shock because I didn't even know what led up to all of that happening.
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I was literally just making dinner and not really talking to him.
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We hadn't been arguing that day, nothing weird was going on.
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I just was like, okay, well, I guess I'm I guess I'm done with that.
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So his friends and my best friend helped me get all this stuff out.
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He's calling me from jail later that night, he's calling me from jail for the next three days, and then it comes up to his hearing.
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So he asked me to go down to the jail and ask for them to let him out on bail.
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So I did in the middle of my work day.
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I took off, said I'm feeling sick, I and then went down to the jailhouse.
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He ended up being put on um home detention at his best friend's house.
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And he wasn't supposed to see me, but I was he still wanted me to go there.
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Um, and I don't know why I did.
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He started saying things like, You're just like my ex-wife, you just want me to go to jail.
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Um, he was denying that anything even happened, and after he said that that many times, um, he was talking to his friends and telling them that I'm in psychosis, and then I had a bunch of people telling me that I am in psychosis and that my memory is not correct, and maybe I should go check myself in somewhere.
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Um, and I asked my best friend who works in mental health care, and she said, if you were in psychosis, I would have already driven you to the local psychiatric hospital.
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Um so then after all that's cleared up, he ends up getting me to quit therapy because he said therapists just are making me worse.
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The more I work with my therapist, the worse that I'm getting.
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Um, he made me quit my ketamine treatments, uh, he said, which were overseen by a psychiatrist.
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Um, he said that it made me smell really awful like chemicals, and that nobody wants to tell me but that he's telling me that because he loves me.
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Um and then about for the past month around that time, my alarms stopped going off in the morning.
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So I was constantly late logging into work.
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I ended up losing my job over that, and I could not for the life of me figure out why my phone alarms weren't going off or why my alarm clock wasn't going off because I have both.
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And so he was started telling people I'm just a fat, lazy fuck.
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I had about 30 pounds in weight at this point in time after I lost 110 three years prior.
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Um, I started eating really bad.
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I started drinking a lot to keep up with him.
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Between his arrest and his court date, he punched me in the face.
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Uh I would say about 15 more times, and I didn't tell anybody because I felt so guilty about putting him in jail because he always told me, you know, he would just bring up like nobody likes a snitch, like I wouldn't even put my worst enemy in jail, nobody deserves to go to jail.
00:15:09.679 --> 00:15:14.799
Um, and on top of that, he stopped allowing me to go to church.
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So he basically threw a fit or outright would physically abuse me if I tried to do anything that he was not directly supervising me.
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It got to the point where I didn't see my best friend for six months.
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Um, I kind of disappeared off the face of the earth.
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I was allowed to go to karaoke.
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Hold on one second.
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I'm I'm on a podcast recording right now.
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Um sorry, can you cut that out?
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Um so yeah, after that, my best friend didn't see me for six months.
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I was so isolated.
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And it was my best friend already moved out of the apartment.
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It was just me and him.
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I was facing eviction every month because he had me go work with him and he just stopped working once I worked at his place of work.
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It was like he was just relying on me.
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Um, he would get so drunk that he couldn't wake up for work anymore.
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And eventually when the lease ended, I got out of that without an eviction on my record.
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Eventually, when the lease did, we didn't have anywhere to go.
00:16:39.519 --> 00:16:56.240
Um so we ended up staying at a red roof in um in a rural part of Maryland, and uh I was basically door dashing for money every day, and I had a job interview and it went really well.
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It's my current job now.
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I just had some time to wait before I could start because of the background checks and everything.
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So he goes and he gets a job as a bartender, and I'm like, okay, this will work.
00:17:09.039 --> 00:17:16.720
Um, so he works two days and he's doing fine, and one day they're like, Oh, we don't want you to come back anymore.
00:17:16.799 --> 00:17:30.799
And they say something like, apparently he had an interview, but he wasn't hired, and they had hired somebody else, and I was just racking my mind, like, how the hell did this happen?
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You went outside to the car to get the call that you got the job, and like told me all this stuff was going on, and I've seen the text messages from them telling you that you can come in and work.
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This doesn't make any sense.
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And what I later found out was that he did not get the job.
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Um, but he tried to gasolate himself, uh, gaslate this bar into thinking that they had hired him because the hiring manager was out for a week and he had thought that if he just started working that nobody would notice.
00:18:04.400 --> 00:18:06.400
Um, so he never really had a job.
00:18:06.720 --> 00:18:15.279
He was saving his own number in his phone as a number for the general manager at that bar and faking these text messages.
00:18:15.359 --> 00:18:17.200
So I would think he had a legitimate job.
00:18:17.359 --> 00:18:23.200
I don't know how any of this helped, but he kept saying that he did it for us and everything.
00:18:23.279 --> 00:18:29.839
And I told him, I said, you literally have an MBA from Johns Hopkins that you always talk about.
00:18:30.000 --> 00:18:34.559
Why don't you just go get a job with that MBA?
00:18:34.799 --> 00:18:37.839
Why do you keep having to bartend or sell furniture?
00:18:37.920 --> 00:18:39.759
This doesn't make any sense.
00:18:40.480 --> 00:18:49.200
Come to find out after his trial, um, he never even graduated high school, never went back to get his GED.
00:18:49.279 --> 00:18:57.759
So he has a 10th grade education and lies to people and says he has an MBA from Johns Hopkins University.
00:18:58.559 --> 00:19:08.400
Um, he, if you ask him, he played with all these bands and he had a really successful band and all this stuff back in the day.
00:19:08.480 --> 00:19:21.839
And I, after deep diving and hours and hours of research after he was locked up for the final time, um found out that all of that is false, and I have proof that all of that is false.
00:19:23.039 --> 00:19:50.079
But anyway, um, so we were basically door dashing for money again, and one night we're door dashing a lot, and I pull over, and at the and we had been fighting and fighting because I was really, really mad at him about lying about the job thing, and it just seemed I don't know why that bothered me more than any of the other stuff, but I think it might have been the straw that broke the camel's back.
00:19:50.319 --> 00:20:04.480
I just was so angry about that, and I had known that he had prior had a relationship with a woman who is essentially a sugar mama, um, and I shouldn't have thrown it back in his face.
00:20:04.640 --> 00:20:11.039
Uh, but she's a 56-year-old woman, and he was like 28 at the time, that's gross.
00:20:11.200 --> 00:20:18.640
Um, and I said, Well, at least I wasn't a hooker, and so he punched me in the face in the pan express parking lot, got arrested again.
00:20:19.359 --> 00:20:32.480
Um, it was at that time that I decided to call his ex-wife because I had his phone in the hotel room.
00:20:33.039 --> 00:20:35.279
And me and her talk for like five hours.
00:20:35.519 --> 00:20:43.920
Um, he said that she he called the cops and she set him up with false charges and that she was the one who wouldn't let him have any time alone.
00:20:44.079 --> 00:20:51.279
And you know, basically that she's this evil, abusive psychopath who ruined his life.
00:20:51.599 --> 00:20:58.240
Um, and that he just didn't press any charges on her because he can't stand to put anybody away with his benevolent heart.
00:20:58.400 --> 00:20:59.599
That is not what happened.
00:20:59.759 --> 00:21:08.960
Um, apparently they he proposed to her very quickly um after she came to work for him, being um his employee.
00:21:09.119 --> 00:21:13.119
He told everybody that he married her as a business transaction so she can get the green card.
00:21:13.200 --> 00:21:14.720
Um, he's not even her sponsor.
00:21:14.880 --> 00:21:15.759
She has asylum.
00:21:15.839 --> 00:21:19.599
She never even needed him for a green card.
00:21:19.759 --> 00:21:26.000
He apparently, when they did try to change her visa, provided her with fake tax returns and got her immigration status flagged.
00:21:26.160 --> 00:21:30.799
Because he's saying he makes all this money and that he's gonna take care of everybody.
00:21:31.039 --> 00:21:42.559
And they were married for four months um before he ended up going to jail for a minute, and uh she ended up going back to live with her sister.
00:21:42.799 --> 00:21:50.880
And here's the part that I didn't know is that for the next year he was telling her that they were gonna get back together up until the day he posted a picture of me.
00:21:51.119 --> 00:21:59.680
So all of her stuff that seemed crazy was actually just how any wife who thought that her husband was cheating on her would.
00:22:01.440 --> 00:22:14.000
Um, on top of that, he was like getting fake text messages and logging in to our accounts and sending messages back and forth and deleting them on the other side.
00:22:14.160 --> 00:22:17.599
So he was making it look like we were messaging each other crazy shit.
00:22:18.240 --> 00:22:21.680
We never did that, and we were able to like get that together.
00:22:21.839 --> 00:22:26.240
I am now helping her with her VAWA immigration case and all that.
00:22:26.400 --> 00:22:42.880
She has everything from my cases, but um he ends up calling me the next day because they let him out on recognizance, which I wish they didn't do, but um he ends up calling me the next day and I feel bad for him.
00:22:42.960 --> 00:22:53.359
And I'm like, okay, we're broken up, like we're not together, but you can stay here for the night until you figure out, you know, what you want to do.
00:22:53.519 --> 00:22:57.279
And from that point on, we really didn't have any kind of romantic relationship.
00:22:57.440 --> 00:23:03.359
I just felt bad, you know, putting him out on the street, which I shouldn't have, but I did.
00:23:03.759 --> 00:23:10.240
Um and so then eventually things happened.
00:23:10.319 --> 00:23:14.480
He actually had me sectioned, told the police that I was suicidal.
00:23:14.799 --> 00:23:16.160
Um I was taken to the hospital.
00:23:16.319 --> 00:23:21.359
The nurses quickly figured out that I was being abused, not suicidal.
00:23:22.079 --> 00:23:26.319
Um, and while I was out, he totaled my car.
00:23:27.039 --> 00:23:30.559
So I lost my only income and I was starting this new job in a week.
00:23:30.640 --> 00:23:33.680
And my aunt had been telling me, like, you can come stay with me.
00:23:33.839 --> 00:23:35.119
That's where I'm living now.
00:23:35.200 --> 00:23:40.559
Um, you can come stay with me back on your feet with this new job and eventually get an apartment.
00:23:40.640 --> 00:23:41.599
And so I was like, cool.
00:23:41.680 --> 00:23:44.400
So I sat him down and I said, like, listen, like this isn't gonna work.
00:23:44.559 --> 00:23:46.960
Like the hotel room's paid through Saturday.
00:23:47.039 --> 00:23:49.920
You can stay here until then, but we are separating.
00:23:50.160 --> 00:23:51.599
I don't want this anymore.
00:23:51.680 --> 00:23:52.640
I don't love you.
00:23:52.880 --> 00:23:54.319
I need to get my life together.
00:23:54.400 --> 00:23:59.759
And every time that it looks like I'm getting my life together, something you do destroys it.
00:23:59.920 --> 00:24:05.440
I was not yelling at him, very calm, pretty much said it just like I said that to you.
00:24:05.519 --> 00:24:12.880
Because a normal person who is not a narcissist or doesn't have that abusive mentality would be able to sit there and go, you know what, my life is fucked up.
00:24:12.960 --> 00:24:14.240
Maybe I do need to go get some help.
00:24:14.400 --> 00:24:18.640
And I told him, I said, You have Medicaid, you can go to a rehab.
00:24:19.119 --> 00:24:38.559
Um and so he decided that that wasn't good enough, and that I left him homeless without a job, because what I forgot to mention is he had gotten another sales job and then got fired two days prior for drinking on the job.
00:24:38.799 --> 00:24:56.160
So I looked at him and I said, if you your hourly paid daily, you could have Ubered yourself back and forth to work, you could have paid for the hotel, you could have done all that together, but instead you wanted to get caught drinking on the sales floor.
00:24:57.279 --> 00:24:58.240
That's not my fault.
00:24:58.400 --> 00:25:05.119
And I think it was the first time that I ever that he ever tried to blame me for anything that I just looked at him and said, That's not my fault.
00:25:05.359 --> 00:25:07.039
And it felt really good.
00:25:08.640 --> 00:25:25.359
But he grabbed my sweater, tried to rip it off of me, twisted it so that he was choking me, took my arm behind me and tried to break it, um, punched me in the face.
00:25:25.680 --> 00:25:32.079
Uh, but what he didn't know was that I had my phone in my pocket and I used the Siri function to call the police.
00:25:32.319 --> 00:25:41.359
So the police operator got that entire interaction on the 911 call, and by the time he realized what was going on, they were already outside.
00:25:41.680 --> 00:25:48.319
And this time I didn't feel bad, I didn't scream, I didn't cry, I didn't beg them not to take him to jail.
00:25:50.000 --> 00:25:50.640
Sorry.
00:25:51.599 --> 00:25:55.599
I just did it.
00:25:56.400 --> 00:26:08.160
And so he caught me for about four days, and then I found out there was a no-contact order, and so I turned him into the police, and he ended up being charged with 102 counts of domestic violence total.
00:26:09.359 --> 00:26:20.480
Um about the next day after that happened, I went to my aunt's house and I spent the next week heavily doing research on this man.
00:26:20.880 --> 00:26:28.799
Um when you go on his Maryland case search, Maryland makes everybody's court cases um visible.
00:26:29.119 --> 00:26:43.920
But when you go on his case search, the stuff with his ex-wife is not there because he was actually able to paint a seal it because of the way that Maryland um handles domestic violence situations, their misdemeanors, not felonies.
00:26:44.640 --> 00:26:49.680
And so um when I looked him up, that stuff wasn't there.
00:26:49.920 --> 00:27:00.160
But if that stuff had been there, like all the charges, because he was able to explain away the temporary restraining order, as that's kind of easy to get, and she never got a final.
00:27:01.839 --> 00:27:28.720
But if that hadn't been able to be erased, I would have never been in this relationship in the first place, and so that's why I'm partnering with a Maryland state rep to try and pass the DV registry in Maryland, uh, where on your when you have multiple domestic violence convictions, you go in a registry like the sex offenders registry.
00:27:28.960 --> 00:27:38.160
Um that's really what I've been putting a lot of my time into because I'm a workaholic and I deal with trauma by doing it.
00:27:38.640 --> 00:27:46.559
Um I think a lot of the pushback is people are talking about like oh, like victims, false charges, that kind of stuff.
00:27:46.720 --> 00:27:55.279
But I mean, the way that I see it is if you're convicted three times of domestic violence in three separate instances, you're probably not the victim anymore.
00:27:55.680 --> 00:28:02.880
Um, but yeah, I mean, yes, I found out that he Wikipedia page for himself.
00:28:03.119 --> 00:28:16.319
I found out from other people that he was lying about being adopted from South Africa, but I knew his siblings in high school tell me that lie, but I was just very confused when people were like, Is he really from South Africa?
00:28:16.559 --> 00:28:24.160
Um he never got a GED, went to community college for a little bit, and then failed out of undergrad.
00:28:24.400 --> 00:28:26.880
So he was lying about his education.
00:28:27.119 --> 00:28:30.000
Um, his entire employment history was false.
00:28:30.079 --> 00:28:35.119
He hasn't really held a job for more than a couple months in the last 10 years.
00:28:35.440 --> 00:28:49.359
Um, but if you talk to him, he's this big-time metal promoter and the best interior designer ever, and he's one Baltimore's best bartender, and like towards the end, he was actually kind of talking to people who weren't there.
00:28:49.599 --> 00:28:52.400
And so I know there's narcissism involved.
00:28:52.559 --> 00:28:56.640
I just don't know if there's anything else involved.
00:28:56.799 --> 00:29:05.039
He seems so delusional that I'm not sure that he lives on the same planet as us.
00:29:05.200 --> 00:29:08.720
But I mean, I did end up getting a kind of happy ending.
00:29:08.960 --> 00:29:17.920
Um, he ended up pleading, taking a plea deal and pleading guilty and got a 10-year sentence, all but six months suspended.
00:29:18.400 --> 00:29:30.720
Um, probably gets cut in December, but he also has a bunch of orders to go straight to rehab and to not talk to me for 10 years, and or he goes back to prison for 10 years.
00:29:30.960 --> 00:29:38.240
And so I think I'm glad I stuck with it, and I'm glad something woke me up.
00:29:39.359 --> 00:30:09.039
Um and I would say to any woman in that situation that getting a conviction has immensely helped me and immensely opened the door to healing and moving on from this relationship, even so much as having a conviction allowed me to get with the credit bureaus and clear some of the stuff that was bad because of him, because of the abuse, because I had proof.
00:30:09.200 --> 00:30:11.279
I was able to get a longer restraining order.
00:30:11.440 --> 00:30:20.400
I think a lot of times victims don't want to go through court, but I think it's made it a lot easier.
00:30:20.559 --> 00:30:23.599
He can't lie about me like he lied about his ex-wife.
00:30:23.680 --> 00:30:24.799
He pled guilty.
00:30:25.039 --> 00:30:28.079
He looked at a judge and said, I did this.
00:30:30.559 --> 00:30:35.920
So, yeah, I mean, any questions?
00:30:37.359 --> 00:30:40.960
So I want to say first off, thank you for telling your story.
00:30:41.119 --> 00:30:44.319
And I it was a little, it's a wild one, isn't it?
00:30:44.640 --> 00:30:45.839
It's a little crazy.
00:30:46.079 --> 00:30:50.480
And I was trying to come, I I try and mute myself whenever um you're talking.
00:30:50.559 --> 00:30:53.279
I was trying to come off mute, but I press the wrong button.
00:30:53.440 --> 00:30:56.319
So this is um, I heard you say, can you edit that out?
00:30:56.400 --> 00:30:59.119
This is just like a raw, real, whatever podcast.
00:30:59.279 --> 00:31:00.559
So you know life happens.
00:31:01.200 --> 00:31:02.480
You can go back and see that.
00:31:02.559 --> 00:31:05.039
Yeah, life happens just to cut that part again.
00:31:05.359 --> 00:31:07.359
But uh, you said he got how many years?
00:31:07.440 --> 00:31:08.960
Did you say 10 years?
00:31:09.440 --> 00:31:10.079
Yeah.
00:31:10.559 --> 00:31:18.480
Um, so the thing about America, you have this one county and it's Hartford County, and they are hard asses on domestic violence.
00:31:19.680 --> 00:31:25.440
That I think really helped was the other counties that we were in whenever he got arrested, sent me a summons.
00:31:25.519 --> 00:31:32.799
In Maryland, that means that I they go, we want you in court, but like we can't really do anything if you don't show up.
00:31:33.119 --> 00:31:35.119
So he was able to talk me out of showing up.
00:31:35.279 --> 00:31:42.400
Hartford County subpoenaed me, meaning that if I don't show up there, I'm getting drugged back there in handcuffs.
00:31:42.640 --> 00:31:43.279
Oh, yeah.
00:31:43.440 --> 00:31:44.960
They they are serious.
00:31:45.279 --> 00:31:52.240
So they're serious, and they actually I have seen them, saw them do a prosecution where the victim was refusing to speak.
00:31:52.480 --> 00:31:53.119
Hmm.
00:31:54.319 --> 00:31:58.880
So they're like serious about it up there, but also the police officers were better.
00:31:58.960 --> 00:32:04.559
They understood coordinative control and they understood that this was not an isolated incident.
00:32:04.720 --> 00:32:12.000
And it was mostly male police officers, um, which I know don't have a great reputation, but they seemed trained up there.
00:32:12.319 --> 00:32:16.000
But they were also working with like Chris Hansen and stuff to do like stings up there.
00:32:16.079 --> 00:32:23.119
So I don't know if that if like they just have a better system, they have a DV judge.
00:32:23.519 --> 00:32:30.880
So all day on Tuesdays, they just do DV cases, and that judge only oversees DV cases.
00:32:31.279 --> 00:32:33.119
No, the same two prosecutors.
00:32:33.279 --> 00:32:38.720
So I think that they just have a really dedicated DA's office on trying to stop this.
00:32:38.960 --> 00:32:42.640
It's also a really safe county, so that's really their only crime.
00:32:43.359 --> 00:32:43.680
Oh.
00:32:44.160 --> 00:32:48.319
If you like, yeah, I'm not from Baltimore, so that's a lot different.
00:32:48.400 --> 00:32:50.000
The Baltimore DA don't got time for that.
00:32:50.079 --> 00:32:51.039
Yeah, you know what I mean?
00:32:51.359 --> 00:32:52.480
Yeah, that's crazy.
00:32:52.799 --> 00:32:54.880
Um but that's good though.
00:32:55.839 --> 00:32:58.880
Like, we gotta ask them and like see what they're doing different.
00:32:59.920 --> 00:33:02.000
Why are they able to get so many convictions?
00:33:02.079 --> 00:33:05.920
I didn't see one abuser walk out there unless the woman used spousal privilege.
00:33:06.079 --> 00:33:06.559
Hmm.
00:33:07.759 --> 00:33:11.039
I didn't see one one person walk out of there scot-free.
00:33:11.839 --> 00:33:19.039
Yeah, that's that's definitely I guess that I just got a really good judge, but his wife does work for like children's advocacy and stuff.
00:33:19.119 --> 00:33:22.799
So I'm thinking maybe his wife has been educating him at home.
00:33:23.440 --> 00:33:31.039
But um, the fact that I got a male judge and like actually I think that sometimes male judges are harder on them than female judges are.
00:33:32.160 --> 00:33:47.920
Because I can tell you, like, my guy friends who are healthy, when I tell them what he did, they look at me like I got two, like they believe me, but they seem even more flabbergasted than the women do because they can't ever imagine themselves doing that.
00:33:48.559 --> 00:33:49.440
You know what I mean?
00:33:49.680 --> 00:33:51.680
Yeah, like so.
00:33:51.839 --> 00:34:05.680
I think maybe that happened, but I mean he still stood there at sentencing and lied to the judge and said that he had an MBA from Johns Hopkins, and basically that he's not a homeless man.
00:34:05.920 --> 00:34:11.360
I mean, his own brother wrote a letter in support of putting him in jail for me.
00:34:12.960 --> 00:34:19.760
So the judge literally looked at him and said, basically, I wish I could lock you up for life because you're a monster.
00:34:20.159 --> 00:34:20.880
Oh, wow.
00:34:21.119 --> 00:34:26.000
I think of any of any of the men in there, and it was all men who were being charged.
00:34:26.079 --> 00:34:28.480
I want to make that very clear for the listeners also.
00:34:29.519 --> 00:34:35.440
When they try to pull out the lesbian statistic, that's over your lifetime, not in the relationship that you're in.
00:34:35.599 --> 00:34:37.199
This is a man problem.
00:34:38.000 --> 00:34:47.519
Um, I mean, male victims do exist, but if you look at DV courts, I have them in my comments all day, every day.
00:34:47.840 --> 00:34:57.360
But out of all the men in there, he looked at him like, you are gonna kill somebody one day if I don't put you away.
00:34:57.599 --> 00:35:10.079
So he got the most jail time, he got the highest sentence, but really the other guys like made threats, or it was like their first time, or and they were like willing to work with the judge and like wanted to do the classes.
00:35:10.239 --> 00:35:12.719
He got up there, he didn't even apologize to me.
00:35:12.880 --> 00:35:19.760
He tried to say we had a mutually toxic relationship and that it's all the alcohol, just all alcohol.
00:35:20.960 --> 00:35:29.280
Oh so does he have you I heard you say six months suspended, so he has to do like nine and a half years?
00:35:29.440 --> 00:35:30.400
Is that what that means?
00:35:30.719 --> 00:35:34.639
No, he's doing six months and then all but six months suspended.
00:35:34.719 --> 00:35:38.800
Oh so he's doing six months, but he has a total abstinence order.
00:35:38.960 --> 00:35:42.719
If he so much as has a sip of beer, he's going back to jail for ten years.
00:35:43.039 --> 00:35:43.360
Oh.
00:35:44.719 --> 00:35:55.920
And the and the way it seems like he drinks, if you're drinking on the job like that, I don't think he's gonna make I mean he's probably sober right now because he's in jail, but like, I don't know, they be making toilet water.
00:35:57.039 --> 00:35:58.239
So I don't I don't know.
00:36:01.119 --> 00:36:05.360
They had him on that vacation for alcoholics in there.
00:36:05.519 --> 00:36:05.840
Uh-huh.
00:36:06.159 --> 00:36:23.280
So I think that might be keeping him okay, but like I I said this, like, he's not gonna be able to get a job, like a regular job, like he's not gonna be able to go back and work at these places that he was working before if they run his criminal office.
00:36:25.280 --> 00:36:28.320
They're gonna say you're convicted of domestic violence.
00:36:29.360 --> 00:36:37.119
Um so I mean, the one bad thing about this is after the 10 years is up, he can get it expunged.
00:36:37.440 --> 00:36:41.920
Because Maryland charges it as a misdemeanor, other states charge it as a felony.
00:36:42.239 --> 00:36:51.199
I love Maryland case search because you can look on there and like see people's like record, like uh, but if they can get this stuff expunged, then what good does it do?
00:36:51.440 --> 00:36:51.840
Yeah.
00:36:52.079 --> 00:36:55.280
I'm not worried about me, I'm worried about the next girl.
00:36:55.599 --> 00:36:56.239
Right.
00:36:56.559 --> 00:37:00.079
Cause I hope and I pray that I'm the last, you know?
00:37:00.400 --> 00:37:00.719
Right.
00:37:00.800 --> 00:37:01.440
I understand that.
00:37:01.679 --> 00:37:04.000
I know a lot of people are like, I hope they meet someone else.
00:37:04.079 --> 00:37:04.480
I don't.
00:37:04.639 --> 00:37:09.039
I hope he just disappears forever into the abyss.
00:37:16.159 --> 00:37:18.719
It was something he was praying on it.
00:37:19.119 --> 00:37:20.400
I'm sorry, go ahead.
00:37:21.199 --> 00:37:24.719
I think he was preying on older women before me because he wants a mommy.
00:37:25.840 --> 00:37:28.239
He doesn't want to have to work, you know.
00:37:29.599 --> 00:37:31.440
Yeah, I have heard of sugar bombers.
00:37:31.679 --> 00:37:34.960
I mean, I guess the same like sugar daddies.
00:37:35.199 --> 00:37:38.400
Um some people just don't like working.
00:37:38.639 --> 00:37:41.360
Uh so all the lies he's he told you.
00:37:41.519 --> 00:37:50.079
Um that the I think it was the school, and then you said he was texting himself as his employer.
00:37:52.000 --> 00:37:57.599
His employment, he he said he was like a guitar player and toward with all these famous bands.
00:37:57.679 --> 00:38:07.599
He said he almost went to the 2008 Olympics, like all this stuff, and like I was a hardcore athlete when I was younger, so like the stuff that he was saying just didn't make any sense to me.
00:38:08.400 --> 00:38:17.920
It's kind of like that Dejaon Love guy, like where like real football players are like, you didn't know this, like yeah, he he had a a lot going on with these lies.
00:38:18.079 --> 00:38:23.599
Um he just is I felt like I was on one of those documentaries on Netflix.
00:38:24.000 --> 00:38:25.920
It might be one day.
00:38:26.880 --> 00:38:36.880
Um okay, so is there any last advice that you would like to give a lady that's maybe in a situation kind of similar?
00:38:38.079 --> 00:38:42.559
Find any way possible to keep in touch with your friends.
00:38:43.119 --> 00:38:48.400
See, my best friend knew the situation I was in, so she was never asking about our relationship.
00:38:49.599 --> 00:38:56.400
She always made sure to keep contact so that the day I was ready to go, she was ready to go.
00:38:56.639 --> 00:39:00.320
I there's this big leave him or leave me out of it debate.
00:39:00.559 --> 00:39:09.199
And I really just want to hammer home that, like, even if you're in a situation, if your friend is in the situation, do whatever you can to sticker.
00:39:09.519 --> 00:39:20.159
I mean, don't put yourself in physical harm's way, but keep that line of communication open because without my friends and about my family, I don't think they would have gotten out.
00:39:20.239 --> 00:39:22.880
I think I would have left that relationship in a body bag.
00:39:23.679 --> 00:39:33.519
And that's been the hardest part, I think, learning about the signs of like spousal murder and all that stuff, and that he hit every single sign.
00:39:33.679 --> 00:39:37.679
And so I don't think he intended for me to leave the hotel room at life that night.
00:39:37.920 --> 00:39:39.599
Oh I can't prove it.
00:39:39.760 --> 00:39:45.119
That's not what he was convicted of, but I do not think I was supposed to get out of there.
00:39:46.320 --> 00:39:47.760
But you're here now.
00:39:48.159 --> 00:39:49.199
That's all that matters.
00:39:49.519 --> 00:39:51.519
But I'm here now, and he's in jail.
00:39:53.440 --> 00:39:59.519
I hate that I'm so happy about that, but you know, it gave me a good six months to get back to myself.
00:39:59.840 --> 00:40:06.159
I also think that's why it's been so much easier for me to bounce back because he's not on the outside.
00:40:06.239 --> 00:40:07.599
I'm not looking over my shoulder.
00:40:07.679 --> 00:40:08.880
I know exactly where he is.
00:40:09.119 --> 00:40:09.280
Right.
00:40:09.599 --> 00:40:12.719
You know, we can like chill out for a minute.
00:40:13.039 --> 00:40:17.920
Um, and then also to women, just don't be afraid to press charges.
00:40:18.400 --> 00:40:25.440
Because I heard all the horror stories of like they're not gonna do anything, they're not, they're not he's never gonna go to jail.
00:40:26.400 --> 00:40:27.679
He's in jail.
00:40:27.920 --> 00:40:28.400
Right.
00:40:28.639 --> 00:40:32.880
So I just kind of want my story to be like kind of that happy ending.
00:40:33.440 --> 00:40:36.559
That because I feel like we hear so many bad stories.
00:40:37.760 --> 00:40:39.280
Do not be afraid to call the police.
00:40:39.360 --> 00:40:43.039
This is the one time, the one situation where yes, you should be snitching.
00:40:43.280 --> 00:40:47.440
Okay, it saved my life to be a snitch.
00:40:48.719 --> 00:40:50.559
That's funny the way you said it.
00:40:50.719 --> 00:40:55.599
But um because he would always be like, he would always say, Oh, don't be snitched, never like a snitch.
00:40:55.760 --> 00:40:57.039
Like, you're trying to kill me, bro.
00:40:57.119 --> 00:40:58.079
Like, what are you talking about?
00:41:00.800 --> 00:41:03.440
I'm already getting stitches, so like what's gonna happen?
00:41:03.599 --> 00:41:05.280
What's the worst thing that can happen?
00:41:05.519 --> 00:41:13.519
Like, so um, and if someone wants to reach out to you, how can they reach out to you?
00:41:14.320 --> 00:41:18.159
Um, on TikTok is where I'm the most responsive.
00:41:18.239 --> 00:41:19.840
That is bad fitches.
00:41:20.480 --> 00:41:25.679
B-A-D-F-I-T-C-H-E-S, like bad bitches with an F.
00:41:26.239 --> 00:41:32.639
Um, and then my Instagram is badfitches1, and that's really the only two social medias that I look at.
00:41:34.239 --> 00:41:39.440
Um so yeah, I would say TikTok or Instagram is probably the best.
00:41:39.599 --> 00:41:44.400
Um, there is a Google form on my TikTok that I want to plug.
00:41:44.559 --> 00:41:57.840
I need women if you happen to be in Maryland or the greater Maryland area and you're listening to this, I need women to send me their stories and to come help me fight for this bill because it's gonna make all of us safer.
00:41:59.199 --> 00:42:03.760
And I will link all of that um in the description.
00:42:04.079 --> 00:42:07.599
And I want to say thank you again for coming on the show.
00:42:07.760 --> 00:42:15.519
Um, and you didn't hesitate like when I asked you, we did have to work out the scheduling, but we finally got here, we made it.
00:42:15.760 --> 00:42:17.840
Yeah, I'm a busy bee.
00:42:17.920 --> 00:42:34.000
Uh but yeah, um, thank you for letting me come on here and talk about my story and then also being able to plug this bill because I think it's something that everybody can agree on, no matter your political party, that abusers suck.
00:42:34.400 --> 00:42:36.239
Absolutely 100%.
00:42:37.920 --> 00:42:44.320
And with that, um I'm gonna get out of here and SDK family.
00:42:44.480 --> 00:42:46.880
I'll see you guys next Wednesday.
00:42:55.039 --> 00:42:59.280
Yo, it's Ash on the mic, we out.
00:42:59.360 --> 00:42:59.920
That's the end.
00:43:00.239 --> 00:43:02.000
If you felt this one, hit share.
00:43:02.159 --> 00:43:02.639
Tell a friend.
00:43:02.880 --> 00:43:03.840
Thanks for riding with me.
00:43:04.159 --> 00:43:05.440
Every take every chance.
00:43:05.840 --> 00:43:08.239
See you next Wednesday, SDK Fan.
00:43:08.639 --> 00:43:09.679
See you next Wednesday.
00:43:14.400 --> 00:43:19.760
Thank you for the day with you next Wednesday, SDK Family.
