Why Do Some Communities Feel Like Home and Others Don’t?

WEBVTT
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Welcome back to The Shared Diary.
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This is the space where the private
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becomes public and the stories that we
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usually keep to ourselves finally find a
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home.
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I'm Lori.
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I'm Debbie.
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And I'm Nicole.
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We are three women with no secrets,
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just life.
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Because life is always better when the
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diary is open.
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So grab a seat, lean in,
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and let's get into today's entry.
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Hello everyone.
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We are so glad you're here.
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Welcome to the Shared Diary.
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This is a space, a shared space.
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It's a podcast,
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but it's also a conversation.
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So we are talking today about community
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and why some communities feel like home
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and others don't.
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We've all been there, right?
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You're in a networking group or you're in
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a Facebook group or you're in some
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in-person group and it just doesn't feel
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like you fit in.
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And so Debbie and I both run communities
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and I'm so excited to talk about this
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because as you know, Debbie,
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this is a hard thing to do.
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It's not easy to get people to come
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in and stay
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So I am super excited about just talking
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about this because I think what's going to
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happen is we're going to realize,
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maybe we'll realize that this community is
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pretty cool.
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This shared diary community is pretty
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cool.
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And I think it is already.
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But yeah,
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so we're talking about why some
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communities feel like come and others
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don't.
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So I'm just going to read a diary
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entry on this topic.
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I think it's important for us to kind
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of get it in a headspace of,
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you know, these are our thoughts.
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These are our conversations,
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but you're a part of it.
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So I want everyone to just focus and
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listen to this and pretend like this is
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you writing in your own diary.
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So here we go.
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dear diary i've been putting myself out
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there joining communities attending
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networking events meeting new people and
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i'm proud of myself for doing something
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that isn't always easy but i've noticed
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how differently communities can make us
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feel some welcome us in others leave us
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feeling like we don't belong one gathering
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made me self-conscious another introduced
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me around
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included me in the conversations and made
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me eager to return.
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It reminded me that we never know what
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it took for someone to walk into a
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room alone.
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A simple come sit with us can change
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everything.
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Maybe finding our people isn't only about
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asking where we belong.
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Maybe it's about asking how others feel
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when they're around us.
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So why do I feel this way?
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How can I find a community that feels
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like home?
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So, Debbie,
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what are your thoughts after hearing that
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diary entry?
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Yeah, well, so many.
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Honestly,
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I could journal multiple pages on just
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what you asked there and what came up
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for me.
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One of the things that felt that it
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was important for me to speak out loud
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is I always say to people,
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do you know what it feels like to
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walk into a dinner party or an event
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that you might be the only stranger?
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Don't you love and appreciate a host or
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hostess that literally invites you in and
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says, come on,
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let me introduce you to our people versus
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somebody that just kind of waves at you
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at the corner and you're sitting there all
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night wondering if you should really be
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there.
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And so that to me is the feeling
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because I'm always about what's the
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feeling that I want them to come,
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like recognize where they are,
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recognize that nervousness,
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recognize those thoughts that are going
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through their mind,
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put myself in that spot.
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And then how do I change that so
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that I do make sure they feel like
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they belong and that I want to learn
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about them?
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I don't just want to say, hey,
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look at me.
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I want to learn about them.
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Exactly.
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I love that.
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That is so, so, so true.
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And I think that when we get into
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those communities that do make us feel
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welcome and do say, hey,
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come sit with us,
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we find that we are comfortable.
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And I remember a point in this diary
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entry where it said,
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I didn't feel welcome.
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I was self-conscious.
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And
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and and just like naturally if you're
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watching on youtube or facebook or
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linkedin the video portion of this
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naturally i just kind of closed up like
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this and i do remember several times where
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i felt like an outsider and i think
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it's so important for us to excuse me
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include people so i love that i love
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that and um have you ever like i
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said have you ever walked into a room
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and and thought these are my people and
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you can relax and so there's a difference
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there right um so debbie i would love
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for you just to talk maybe just a
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little bit about your community and how
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you make it feel like home
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Yeah,
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and I think this is really such a
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great example.
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When I was thinking of it,
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and Nicole can't be with us today,
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which I'm shouting out Nicole and that
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she's just such a beautiful part of this.
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This is her very first time missing.
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But it also opened up for us to
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talk about community.
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She would have added a lot to it
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too,
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because she started to build community and
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then realized it was way too much work
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and took focus off of the things she
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was wanting to do in business.
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Me and you run communities quite
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different, and yet there is an overlap.
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And I think we'll come up with that
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today.
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But I wanted to build a community that
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wasn't about numbers,
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that it was very much about a curated
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group of people that really was just like,
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you know, you have your ideal audience,
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those people that you would love to serve.
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Those were the ones invited into the
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community because it kept this culture and
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this safe space for everybody inside the
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community to know that
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that I was protecting the space,
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protecting the culture, protecting them,
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not from outside evil,
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because we're all capable of cleaning our
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own energy and making sure that we do
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that,
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but outside people that didn't build
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community in the way that I did.
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And I'm talking,
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and I'll speak it out loud because it
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happens in communities.
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There's people that purchase products
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And come to retreats and go to networking
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and come into your community only to steal
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your people and take them away.
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And I never wanted my people to feel
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like they were fish in a pond.
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I never wanted them to feel like that.
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I love that.
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That's so true.
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And it's sad that we have to look
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out for that kind of thing when we're
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trying to create a space.
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And that's why there's rules, right?
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Even in-person networking events,
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maybe you've been to one of these where
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you go around and share.
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Well,
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you have a certain amount of time to
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share and you're not supposed to be salesy
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and all of that fun stuff.
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And we've all been around people who it's
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just like, oh my gosh,
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I can't wait for the two minutes to
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be over.
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I don't want to be that kind of
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person.
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And let's call it out.
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Usually those two people,
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those two minutes stretch way beyond their
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two minutes because they need to have the
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mic.
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They need to have the spotlight.
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And so I love providing the spotlight to
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the people that are truly showing up in
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the culture versus they have to come in
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and think they have to like grind to
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get the spotlight.
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It's a different feel.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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And I would love to just ask the
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question for those of you who are tuning
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in right now or watching the replay.
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I would love to know what makes you
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feel like you belong somewhere.
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What kind of room do you walk in
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and it feels like home?
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Is it.
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someone greeting you is it being
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remembered remembering names is it is it
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feeling accepted and included is it having
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something in common i would love for you
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to comment what makes you feel like you
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belong somewhere because as network owners
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and founders and community builders debbie
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and i both have communities that we want
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to make people feel welcome and to your
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point debbie about
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you wanting to curate those members and
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make sure they feel safe and it's a
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private community so they know if they
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comment or share something,
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it's not going to be blasted out to
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the world.
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I had a decision to make with the
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Be Awesome Network.
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Am I going to go public or am
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I going to keep it private?
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And, you know,
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it did grow so fast and it is
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a large audience.
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And then I came across the
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challenge of you know I interview and
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highlight people in my group and the
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challenge of it being a private group is
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that they can't share it because you have
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to be in the group to see it
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so there's pros and cons to both and
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I think for me for my community I
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welcome everyone in and I want to
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broadcast everything out so
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it, there's a difference there.
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And, you know,
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I also have little tight knit private
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communities within the group to,
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to curate those people who are interested
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in this or that, you know,
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just like the be awesome book that I'm
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launching.
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We have a private Facebook group where we
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can talk and share our, you know,
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our chapters and things like that.
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So anyway, I love this question.
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If you are watching or listening right
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now,
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we want you to join into the conversation.
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Where do you feel like home?
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And then Debbie,
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where have you felt the greatest sense of
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belonging in your own life?
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Can you think of some places or groups
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where you walked in and immediately you're
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like, oh, this is it.
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well yours for one and i'm going to
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say that out so i think that it
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starts with intention so your intention of
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how you were building your group and why
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you were building it was very clear from
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the outside me looking in but as you
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invited me in you stated it i was
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very clear like your rules were there this
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is what we do this is why we're
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here this is if you want an interview
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So I felt very like much of that
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I belonged and that I was beautifully
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welcomed in and invited.
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So, you know, a little bit of that,
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this is special.
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You know, I'm not just,
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she's not just going out there looking for
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twenty seven thousand people.
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She really does care who comes into her
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room and then that highlighting and that
00:10:36.884 --> 00:10:37.604
celebration.
00:10:38.043 --> 00:10:39.985
So I definitely felt that with you.
00:10:40.804 --> 00:10:42.225
One of the things that I would say
00:10:42.245 --> 00:10:44.586
that I think you do differently than a
00:10:44.626 --> 00:10:45.466
lot of other people,
00:10:45.486 --> 00:10:46.868
and I've said it to you before,
00:10:47.567 --> 00:10:50.289
is that you make everybody feel like
00:10:50.389 --> 00:10:52.831
they're meeting you personally and that
00:10:52.871 --> 00:10:54.993
you truly do care about their story,
00:10:55.513 --> 00:10:56.774
their mission, their purpose.
00:10:57.033 --> 00:10:58.595
And it doesn't matter if they're man,
00:10:58.674 --> 00:11:00.616
woman, business or not business.
00:11:01.197 --> 00:11:02.577
Everybody is awesome.
00:11:02.957 --> 00:11:05.240
And that I think if I look at
00:11:05.500 --> 00:11:07.860
other communities that might say that,
00:11:07.941 --> 00:11:10.562
but then they don't actually do.
00:11:11.542 --> 00:11:12.883
help you feel that way,
00:11:13.384 --> 00:11:15.004
is there's just an incongruency.
00:11:15.504 --> 00:11:17.025
So when I know your story,
00:11:17.066 --> 00:11:18.326
and anybody that's been watching the
00:11:18.366 --> 00:11:19.827
podcast for a long time, you know,
00:11:19.869 --> 00:11:22.029
Lori's story is that she just wanted
00:11:22.049 --> 00:11:23.571
everybody to know how awesome they were.
00:11:24.032 --> 00:11:26.313
And she's led that intention and built it
00:11:26.354 --> 00:11:27.073
out perfectly.
00:11:27.453 --> 00:11:29.436
Which again, when you're congruent,
00:11:30.015 --> 00:11:32.717
magnetism helps you do whatever you have
00:11:32.738 --> 00:11:33.859
your intentions set on.
00:11:34.059 --> 00:11:35.780
And so yeah, true alignment there.
00:11:36.988 --> 00:11:37.268
Wow.
00:11:37.307 --> 00:11:38.129
Well, thank you.
00:11:38.308 --> 00:11:40.451
I really appreciate that coming from you
00:11:40.471 --> 00:11:43.094
because you're a master at curating
00:11:43.134 --> 00:11:44.936
communities and making people feel
00:11:44.995 --> 00:11:45.657
welcome.
00:11:45.716 --> 00:11:47.378
And and, you know,
00:11:47.558 --> 00:11:53.644
also just having people in your in your.
00:11:54.466 --> 00:11:56.248
atmosphere i would say i think that you're
00:11:56.268 --> 00:11:58.149
really good at that and i really
00:11:58.169 --> 00:12:01.312
appreciate that so thank you um and i
00:12:01.332 --> 00:12:02.914
i to your to your point i do
00:12:03.034 --> 00:12:06.197
love highlighting people and i do want
00:12:06.278 --> 00:12:08.019
them to feel welcome and i think everyone
00:12:08.039 --> 00:12:11.663
deserves to feel welcome to feel heard and
00:12:11.844 --> 00:12:14.767
to you know be a change maker and
00:12:14.807 --> 00:12:17.168
so i want to encourage people you're
00:12:17.249 --> 00:12:17.649
awesome
00:12:18.149 --> 00:12:19.892
please step up and do the thing you
00:12:19.912 --> 00:12:20.731
want to do, right?
00:12:20.851 --> 00:12:23.794
And that's really just what I love to
00:12:23.835 --> 00:12:24.115
do.
00:12:24.195 --> 00:12:26.557
And so I'm so glad that you said
00:12:26.596 --> 00:12:28.177
that because I didn't study how to do
00:12:28.238 --> 00:12:28.658
it, right?
00:12:28.678 --> 00:12:30.740
And I think that is so,
00:12:31.400 --> 00:12:35.744
so key there when you just have a
00:12:35.823 --> 00:12:38.826
natural welcoming presence,
00:12:38.927 --> 00:12:40.628
I think people are attracted to you.
00:12:41.107 --> 00:12:41.668
And I think
00:12:42.158 --> 00:12:43.041
Maybe this is true.
00:12:43.081 --> 00:12:43.903
Maybe it's not.
00:12:44.183 --> 00:12:46.328
But I think it's like when you when
00:12:46.349 --> 00:12:49.355
you actually do recognize your value,
00:12:49.596 --> 00:12:51.299
that's when you can show up like that.
00:12:51.985 --> 00:12:52.527
I agree.
00:12:52.606 --> 00:12:54.048
And I and this is perfect,
00:12:54.067 --> 00:12:56.190
because I wanted to circle back to why
00:12:56.250 --> 00:12:58.812
my community is not only curated,
00:12:58.852 --> 00:13:00.073
but it is still closed.
00:13:00.134 --> 00:13:02.015
Because I know I remember having the
00:13:02.076 --> 00:13:03.898
conversation with you made it public.
00:13:04.438 --> 00:13:06.860
And I really thought about it to
00:13:06.941 --> 00:13:10.485
strategically from branding, marketing,
00:13:10.885 --> 00:13:11.907
it made sense.
00:13:12.386 --> 00:13:12.967
Guess what?
00:13:13.388 --> 00:13:15.509
the promise that i made to my people
00:13:15.568 --> 00:13:18.590
it didn't make sense they the the sharing
00:13:18.610 --> 00:13:20.591
that they were doing they didn't
00:13:20.630 --> 00:13:23.211
necessarily want the public to see it or
00:13:23.251 --> 00:13:26.113
hear it and so your promise what you
00:13:26.153 --> 00:13:29.313
put in your description is so important
00:13:29.413 --> 00:13:31.715
that you stay with that promise even
00:13:31.754 --> 00:13:33.076
though and i mean there's going to be
00:13:33.115 --> 00:13:34.777
people here that have not don't really
00:13:34.817 --> 00:13:36.756
know the nuances of building a community
00:13:36.817 --> 00:13:39.597
and all that even though any interview
00:13:39.618 --> 00:13:40.239
that was done
00:13:40.938 --> 00:13:43.221
would not be public if I turned it
00:13:43.261 --> 00:13:43.682
public.
00:13:44.082 --> 00:13:45.985
So all private conversations were still
00:13:46.005 --> 00:13:47.128
going to be private.
00:13:47.807 --> 00:13:49.311
But when I, you know,
00:13:49.350 --> 00:13:52.053
my shine framework is helping people
00:13:52.114 --> 00:13:54.758
shine, but it's through self-awareness,
00:13:54.817 --> 00:13:56.059
healing, intuition,
00:13:56.580 --> 00:13:57.360
nourishing your mind,
00:13:57.380 --> 00:13:58.782
body and soul so that you can make
00:13:58.822 --> 00:14:00.883
those decisions and then watching you grow
00:14:00.923 --> 00:14:01.543
and evolve.
00:14:02.144 --> 00:14:04.544
So it would be hypocritical to me to
00:14:04.625 --> 00:14:07.147
say to somebody that isn't quite ready to
00:14:07.206 --> 00:14:09.748
tell their story that they must tell it
00:14:10.107 --> 00:14:12.470
on a global audience instead of, you know,
00:14:12.490 --> 00:14:14.831
we're eleven hundred people and it's still
00:14:14.890 --> 00:14:15.491
a stretch.
00:14:16.131 --> 00:14:18.374
But it's not going out to maybe your
00:14:18.413 --> 00:14:20.955
sister or maybe your, you know,
00:14:21.014 --> 00:14:22.836
the person that maybe traumatized you.
00:14:23.897 --> 00:14:25.018
Not that your sister is the one that
00:14:25.057 --> 00:14:25.398
did that.
00:14:25.418 --> 00:14:26.719
So that is not what I'm saying.
00:14:27.318 --> 00:14:28.740
But it was just, again,
00:14:28.779 --> 00:14:30.841
it goes back to the intention of why
00:14:30.881 --> 00:14:31.841
you want community,
00:14:32.121 --> 00:14:33.423
which I think we're going to get deeper
00:14:33.503 --> 00:14:35.203
into before because a lot of people think
00:14:35.224 --> 00:14:36.946
they're building communities just so they
00:14:36.966 --> 00:14:37.706
can sell to them.
00:14:37.966 --> 00:14:38.787
And I'm going to tell you,
00:14:39.206 --> 00:14:40.587
that kind of community doesn't work.
00:14:41.899 --> 00:14:42.780
No, it does not.
00:14:42.900 --> 00:14:43.600
You're so right.
00:14:43.660 --> 00:14:44.381
You're so right.
00:14:44.642 --> 00:14:47.423
And and I love I love what you
00:14:47.443 --> 00:14:49.325
just said that, you know,
00:14:49.485 --> 00:14:52.847
when you make people feel welcome,
00:14:52.868 --> 00:14:55.028
when you give them the boundaries,
00:14:55.048 --> 00:14:58.010
when you establish the rules and they know
00:14:58.091 --> 00:14:58.772
why they're there.
00:14:59.601 --> 00:15:02.264
then it's so much easier to feel like
00:15:02.304 --> 00:15:04.206
you're in a good place, right?
00:15:04.245 --> 00:15:07.889
So we've got a comment coming in,
00:15:08.149 --> 00:15:08.910
Angels Connect.
00:15:08.931 --> 00:15:10.091
I know this is Tara.
00:15:10.192 --> 00:15:10.913
Hello, Tara.
00:15:11.373 --> 00:15:13.394
She says, when I feel genuine, thank you,
00:15:13.414 --> 00:15:14.897
by the way, Tara, for participating.
00:15:14.937 --> 00:15:15.496
We love that.
00:15:15.797 --> 00:15:17.879
When I feel genuine care,
00:15:17.979 --> 00:15:19.760
then welcome comes easy.
00:15:19.860 --> 00:15:21.081
Also, I notice my energy.
00:15:21.162 --> 00:15:22.644
If I'm filled up and smiling,
00:15:22.683 --> 00:15:23.625
then I return again.
00:15:24.065 --> 00:15:27.706
so yeah definitely i think that's so true
00:15:27.746 --> 00:15:31.009
when we feel filled up and it doesn't
00:15:31.068 --> 00:15:35.230
drain our energy then we return right and
00:15:35.250 --> 00:15:37.011
gosh i've i've learned this lesson the
00:15:37.052 --> 00:15:39.932
hard way you know sometimes you have to
00:15:39.952 --> 00:15:41.913
sometimes i don't give up on people very
00:15:41.974 --> 00:15:44.355
easily or you know situations and so
00:15:44.375 --> 00:15:46.677
sometimes i just try too hard and i
00:15:46.697 --> 00:15:49.038
just remember sometimes just trying over
00:15:49.817 --> 00:15:52.058
And over and over and like almost like
00:15:52.178 --> 00:15:53.879
forcing it and you can't force it.
00:15:54.000 --> 00:15:55.100
And and honestly,
00:15:55.140 --> 00:15:57.581
your body tells you when you're forcing
00:15:57.621 --> 00:15:57.761
it.
00:15:57.822 --> 00:15:59.702
So I've learned that the hard way for
00:15:59.763 --> 00:15:59.962
sure.
00:16:00.003 --> 00:16:00.943
So thank you, Tara.
00:16:01.313 --> 00:16:02.595
I love how she says,
00:16:03.075 --> 00:16:05.116
if I'm filled up and smiling,
00:16:05.417 --> 00:16:06.638
then I return again.
00:16:06.677 --> 00:16:07.958
And I think that's important.
00:16:08.099 --> 00:16:10.821
Smiling is definitely important.
00:16:11.282 --> 00:16:13.102
What do you think about that?
00:16:13.123 --> 00:16:14.043
Well, Laurie, and too,
00:16:14.104 --> 00:16:15.345
it goes back to you.
00:16:15.384 --> 00:16:17.505
Are you actually paying attention?
00:16:18.006 --> 00:16:20.028
Are you being present enough to notice
00:16:20.067 --> 00:16:22.250
when you feel like you're being filled up
00:16:22.610 --> 00:16:24.451
versus you feel like everybody's stealing
00:16:24.471 --> 00:16:26.232
your energy and you're so depleted?
00:16:26.773 --> 00:16:29.953
after an in-person event or even a podcast
00:16:30.215 --> 00:16:31.335
or a virtual event.
00:16:32.495 --> 00:16:34.937
Pay attention to that and do more about
00:16:34.976 --> 00:16:36.157
what fills you up.
00:16:36.297 --> 00:16:37.697
I always say, follow the light.
00:16:37.998 --> 00:16:39.798
The path will lead you to the right
00:16:39.818 --> 00:16:40.278
place.
00:16:41.038 --> 00:16:44.399
And that is you sharing your light,
00:16:44.520 --> 00:16:46.380
but it is also where is that light
00:16:46.421 --> 00:16:47.701
reflected back at you?
00:16:47.782 --> 00:16:49.283
So you're not just giving,
00:16:49.582 --> 00:16:51.462
but somebody stands up and says,
00:16:51.523 --> 00:16:52.823
I see this in you too.
00:16:53.083 --> 00:16:54.465
I get chills as I say that.
00:16:55.304 --> 00:16:57.908
That is how we build communities that
00:16:57.948 --> 00:17:00.953
continue to grow because it's not one
00:17:01.014 --> 00:17:03.517
person nourishing everybody else's light.
00:17:03.918 --> 00:17:05.619
I'm not the supplier of your light.
00:17:05.701 --> 00:17:07.103
I'm here to amplify it.
00:17:08.816 --> 00:17:09.978
Wow, I like that.
00:17:10.018 --> 00:17:13.340
That needs to be like a quote from
00:17:13.401 --> 00:17:14.522
this time together.
00:17:15.103 --> 00:17:16.243
I love that.
00:17:16.324 --> 00:17:18.185
We need to amplify each other.
00:17:18.346 --> 00:17:20.509
And so that leads me to the next
00:17:20.528 --> 00:17:21.529
question, which is,
00:17:21.910 --> 00:17:24.252
do you think belonging comes from being
00:17:24.292 --> 00:17:25.954
around people who are like us?
00:17:26.593 --> 00:17:28.834
or being around people who allow us to
00:17:28.874 --> 00:17:31.255
be ourselves, even when we're different.
00:17:31.355 --> 00:17:32.654
What do you think, Debbie?
00:17:32.674 --> 00:17:33.214
Totally.
00:17:33.375 --> 00:17:34.655
Allow you to be yourself.
00:17:35.096 --> 00:17:36.636
All light is welcome.
00:17:37.217 --> 00:17:37.737
You know what?
00:17:38.057 --> 00:17:40.798
Even the wounded, maybe darker,
00:17:41.018 --> 00:17:41.999
maybe negative.
00:17:42.239 --> 00:17:42.419
I mean,
00:17:42.459 --> 00:17:43.419
I'm not going to let you sit in
00:17:43.459 --> 00:17:45.039
that because that's just not my energy,
00:17:45.420 --> 00:17:45.960
but bring it.
00:17:46.279 --> 00:17:47.560
Bring it and let me show you how
00:17:47.601 --> 00:17:48.162
great you are.
00:17:48.321 --> 00:17:50.263
Bring it and let me show you the
00:17:50.304 --> 00:17:52.246
greatness inside of you that gets
00:17:52.286 --> 00:17:54.147
whispered in my ear every time I meet
00:17:54.167 --> 00:17:54.627
somebody.
00:17:55.189 --> 00:17:57.750
I have a gift to recognize the light
00:17:57.791 --> 00:17:58.251
in others.
00:17:58.352 --> 00:17:59.794
I did it when I was a photographer.
00:17:59.913 --> 00:18:01.275
I do it now in coaching.
00:18:01.694 --> 00:18:03.017
I see the light in you.
00:18:03.416 --> 00:18:04.979
Let me show you that light.
00:18:06.604 --> 00:18:07.105
Wow.
00:18:07.224 --> 00:18:07.765
I love that.
00:18:08.365 --> 00:18:08.945
I agree.
00:18:09.146 --> 00:18:10.288
I think, you know,
00:18:10.807 --> 00:18:12.170
especially in my community,
00:18:12.670 --> 00:18:14.771
I was learning so much just by meeting
00:18:14.811 --> 00:18:16.594
people and highlighting them.
00:18:17.134 --> 00:18:19.557
And I started to make friends all over
00:18:19.596 --> 00:18:20.278
the world.
00:18:20.458 --> 00:18:22.319
I started to meet people who thought
00:18:22.619 --> 00:18:23.820
differently than I did,
00:18:24.121 --> 00:18:26.103
who believed differently than I did,
00:18:26.163 --> 00:18:28.266
who were raised in families that were
00:18:28.306 --> 00:18:28.685
different.
00:18:29.317 --> 00:18:31.820
And I start my eyes started to open
00:18:32.020 --> 00:18:35.644
and I started to realize how narrow minded
00:18:35.743 --> 00:18:37.085
I had been in the past.
00:18:37.625 --> 00:18:40.208
And so welcoming everyone is so,
00:18:40.548 --> 00:18:41.630
so very important.
00:18:41.809 --> 00:18:43.090
And you don't have to agree.
00:18:43.270 --> 00:18:43.571
Right.
00:18:43.672 --> 00:18:46.314
You don't have to agree.
00:18:46.334 --> 00:18:47.015
You know, Laurie,
00:18:47.055 --> 00:18:48.816
isn't that one of the beautiful things
00:18:48.856 --> 00:18:49.998
about interviewing people?
00:18:51.077 --> 00:18:54.060
we aren't there to place judgment.
00:18:54.141 --> 00:18:56.222
We're there to help tell their story.
00:18:56.823 --> 00:18:58.444
And so you get to see it more
00:18:58.484 --> 00:19:01.267
as the observer versus the person maybe
00:19:01.327 --> 00:19:03.028
going, is this right or is this wrong?
00:19:03.148 --> 00:19:04.349
I don't know if I agree with this.
00:19:04.770 --> 00:19:05.852
It's got nothing to do with that.
00:19:05.872 --> 00:19:06.752
You're the interviewer,
00:19:06.772 --> 00:19:07.653
you're the observer.
00:19:07.854 --> 00:19:10.955
And I think that's a powerful remembrance
00:19:11.016 --> 00:19:13.838
of why both of us feel so fulfilled
00:19:13.878 --> 00:19:15.339
when we get to share somebody else's
00:19:15.380 --> 00:19:15.721
story.
00:19:17.054 --> 00:19:17.794
Absolutely.
00:19:18.875 --> 00:19:22.776
I just remember some days that I might
00:19:22.796 --> 00:19:25.156
have been low energy and then I had
00:19:25.478 --> 00:19:26.958
an appointment coming up where I was going
00:19:26.978 --> 00:19:28.878
to highlight someone live and I'm like,
00:19:29.874 --> 00:19:31.115
Oh, I'm so tired.
00:19:31.134 --> 00:19:32.856
And then I get on Zoom and I'm
00:19:32.876 --> 00:19:34.577
like, hi.
00:19:35.298 --> 00:19:37.780
And it just lights me up.
00:19:37.840 --> 00:19:40.722
And meeting people, encouraging people,
00:19:40.863 --> 00:19:42.364
giving them a chance to share,
00:19:42.704 --> 00:19:44.766
giving them an opportunity to maybe meet
00:19:44.826 --> 00:19:47.769
someone in the network that they can align
00:19:47.808 --> 00:19:51.250
with who needs their help and who really
00:19:51.291 --> 00:19:52.873
connects with them emotionally.
00:19:53.292 --> 00:19:54.413
And I try.
00:19:54.713 --> 00:19:56.496
I don't think I ever have not connected
00:19:56.516 --> 00:19:57.936
emotionally with a guest.
00:19:58.553 --> 00:20:01.013
But there are definitely some that you
00:20:01.054 --> 00:20:02.255
just go right away.
00:20:02.275 --> 00:20:04.434
You feel like best friends.
00:20:05.536 --> 00:20:07.297
And so that's what I want people to
00:20:07.317 --> 00:20:10.258
feel when they come into the awesome
00:20:10.298 --> 00:20:10.617
network.
00:20:11.357 --> 00:20:13.019
I want them to feel like they are
00:20:13.179 --> 00:20:14.859
in a place where they can find their
00:20:14.880 --> 00:20:15.359
friends.
00:20:16.000 --> 00:20:18.320
and be supported and be inspired,
00:20:18.740 --> 00:20:20.201
and then inspire others too.
00:20:20.301 --> 00:20:22.343
So yeah, we have very,
00:20:22.363 --> 00:20:23.583
very different communities,
00:20:23.623 --> 00:20:25.943
but I think our hearts are in the
00:20:25.983 --> 00:20:26.545
same place.
00:20:27.664 --> 00:20:29.365
I really want to say that because the
00:20:29.526 --> 00:20:31.246
essence of our community is very much the
00:20:31.286 --> 00:20:32.846
same way the intentions of our
00:20:32.886 --> 00:20:35.028
communities, how we protect our community,
00:20:35.208 --> 00:20:37.368
you have you have really good boundaries,
00:20:37.429 --> 00:20:39.670
like your clear description of what
00:20:40.069 --> 00:20:42.672
what we're here for is so beautifully,
00:20:42.711 --> 00:20:44.272
what a beautiful example of what that
00:20:44.313 --> 00:20:47.055
looks like to be kind and to be
00:20:47.095 --> 00:20:48.256
assertive at the same time.
00:20:48.476 --> 00:20:49.596
Like we can all learn from,
00:20:49.817 --> 00:20:51.258
from that in itself.
00:20:51.758 --> 00:20:53.318
But the other thing is the heart of
00:20:53.398 --> 00:20:55.840
it, that true, why Debbie,
00:20:55.861 --> 00:20:57.461
do you love telling people's stories?
00:20:58.041 --> 00:21:00.304
Lori, why, why is this important to you?
00:21:00.663 --> 00:21:02.224
That's at the heart of everything that we
00:21:02.265 --> 00:21:04.026
do is we want to also tell those
00:21:04.046 --> 00:21:06.407
stories of why these people that we're
00:21:06.468 --> 00:21:08.068
interviewing do what they do.
00:21:08.568 --> 00:21:09.569
And that's really,
00:21:10.170 --> 00:21:12.351
where we can learn from lived wisdom,
00:21:12.391 --> 00:21:15.053
which is so important for me.
00:21:15.752 --> 00:21:17.574
Book wisdom is one thing,
00:21:17.614 --> 00:21:20.115
but lived wisdom is a whole other
00:21:20.194 --> 00:21:20.796
ballpark.
00:21:21.915 --> 00:21:22.675
Absolutely.
00:21:22.836 --> 00:21:23.497
Absolutely.
00:21:23.616 --> 00:21:25.917
And I can't tell you how many self-help
00:21:25.938 --> 00:21:27.739
books I've read and circled and
00:21:27.778 --> 00:21:30.019
highlighted and learned so much from,
00:21:30.039 --> 00:21:33.142
but then I just don't usually return to
00:21:33.182 --> 00:21:33.942
those notes.
00:21:33.981 --> 00:21:35.303
But having that
00:21:36.407 --> 00:21:39.169
In-person connection and learning and
00:21:39.269 --> 00:21:43.630
asking questions and helping understand
00:21:43.809 --> 00:21:45.289
what they do and how they show up
00:21:45.309 --> 00:21:46.810
in this world and why they show up
00:21:46.830 --> 00:21:49.290
in this world is something that I never
00:21:49.431 --> 00:21:51.231
even thought I would enjoy.
00:21:51.352 --> 00:21:54.593
So I think pushing ourselves to create
00:21:54.613 --> 00:21:58.374
spaces for people is another thing that's
00:21:58.453 --> 00:21:59.013
important,
00:21:59.433 --> 00:22:02.474
not just staying closed and waiting for
00:22:02.515 --> 00:22:04.095
someone to come to us, right?
00:22:05.307 --> 00:22:05.606
Yeah,
00:22:06.008 --> 00:22:08.930
and I think it continues to evolve into
00:22:08.950 --> 00:22:10.691
that trust that we talked about at the
00:22:10.711 --> 00:22:11.111
beginning.
00:22:11.592 --> 00:22:12.051
It's like,
00:22:12.291 --> 00:22:14.614
I want people to feel safe and to
00:22:14.653 --> 00:22:15.174
trust.
00:22:15.694 --> 00:22:16.435
But you know what?
00:22:17.016 --> 00:22:18.656
I bet you've had this happen.
00:22:19.077 --> 00:22:19.817
People are like,
00:22:20.357 --> 00:22:22.339
she can't possibly be that nice that she
00:22:22.359 --> 00:22:23.941
wants to hear my story and this is
00:22:24.020 --> 00:22:24.342
free.
00:22:24.842 --> 00:22:26.823
So what is in it for her?
00:22:26.903 --> 00:22:29.645
So it might take somebody on a total
00:22:29.705 --> 00:22:30.665
business mindset,
00:22:30.726 --> 00:22:33.448
not really connected to their core essence
00:22:33.468 --> 00:22:34.088
and their truth,
00:22:34.608 --> 00:22:36.550
but are thinking strategy and going,
00:22:36.570 --> 00:22:37.531
what's her strategy?
00:22:37.811 --> 00:22:38.973
Why is she just connecting?
00:22:39.013 --> 00:22:40.115
Why is she just sharing?
00:22:40.634 --> 00:22:42.497
And so with you, Laurie,
00:22:42.517 --> 00:22:44.398
with a huge community,
00:22:44.838 --> 00:22:46.500
and you're not only interviewing them,
00:22:46.601 --> 00:22:48.482
but you also are highlighting them as
00:22:48.522 --> 00:22:49.604
like, so what's your offer?
00:22:49.903 --> 00:22:51.364
and you're allowing them to share in your
00:22:51.384 --> 00:22:52.805
community what their offer is.
00:22:53.325 --> 00:22:54.125
First, people are like,
00:22:54.144 --> 00:22:55.184
what's in it for her?
00:22:55.765 --> 00:22:57.625
And what you said earlier is that you
00:22:57.665 --> 00:22:59.625
want these people to meet these people,
00:22:59.665 --> 00:23:02.126
because there has to be a connection that
00:23:02.446 --> 00:23:04.586
for both for the win win for both
00:23:05.106 --> 00:23:06.907
audiences, the seeker and the giver.
00:23:08.208 --> 00:23:09.807
Absolutely, absolutely.
00:23:09.948 --> 00:23:12.028
And it brings me so much joy when
00:23:12.068 --> 00:23:13.949
we actually have a live event.
00:23:14.028 --> 00:23:14.169
And
00:23:14.650 --> 00:23:16.752
and I'm highlighting the person and I'm
00:23:16.792 --> 00:23:18.996
seeing the comments coming in and they're
00:23:19.036 --> 00:23:20.817
either asking questions or saying, wow,
00:23:20.857 --> 00:23:21.818
this is amazing.
00:23:22.420 --> 00:23:25.805
So it does give me joy to watch
00:23:25.964 --> 00:23:26.506
other people
00:23:27.224 --> 00:23:27.826
succeed.
00:23:27.885 --> 00:23:29.928
And I think that's maybe always been a
00:23:30.008 --> 00:23:30.669
part of me.
00:23:30.808 --> 00:23:32.471
Is that always been a part of you
00:23:32.651 --> 00:23:32.931
too?
00:23:32.991 --> 00:23:34.393
Definitely, definitely.
00:23:34.532 --> 00:23:35.875
I can say that I fight for the
00:23:35.934 --> 00:23:37.336
underdog every time.
00:23:37.997 --> 00:23:38.237
Now,
00:23:38.817 --> 00:23:40.460
some of that has gotten me into trouble
00:23:40.519 --> 00:23:43.242
where I have felt responsible for the
00:23:43.303 --> 00:23:45.766
success of that underdog that maybe wasn't
00:23:45.786 --> 00:23:47.607
willing to hire me or take
00:23:48.008 --> 00:23:49.388
strategic advice from me.
00:23:49.569 --> 00:23:52.011
And so there's there's an energy that has
00:23:52.071 --> 00:23:53.252
to like, kind of like,
00:23:53.333 --> 00:23:54.473
I can only help you so far,
00:23:54.513 --> 00:23:55.914
you actually have to help yourself.
00:23:56.736 --> 00:24:00.979
And there is definitely that I never want
00:24:01.039 --> 00:24:02.760
anybody to be the best kept secret,
00:24:03.541 --> 00:24:04.241
as well,
00:24:04.482 --> 00:24:05.824
because I know what it's like to be
00:24:05.864 --> 00:24:07.325
on the other side praying for somebody
00:24:07.365 --> 00:24:09.046
that has the resources I'm looking for.
00:24:09.921 --> 00:24:10.801
So yeah,
00:24:10.862 --> 00:24:12.522
you can go to Amazon and you can
00:24:12.563 --> 00:24:14.364
Google all the books and you might think
00:24:14.403 --> 00:24:16.085
you see the resource and you might even
00:24:16.105 --> 00:24:17.905
go deeper and you might say, well,
00:24:17.945 --> 00:24:19.366
if she has that book,
00:24:19.767 --> 00:24:21.307
then I wonder if she has a course
00:24:21.348 --> 00:24:23.069
and you might start being the investigator
00:24:23.109 --> 00:24:24.089
going down the path.
00:24:25.590 --> 00:24:27.992
And I've done those and I'm not saying
00:24:28.032 --> 00:24:28.952
that they're wrong because they're
00:24:28.992 --> 00:24:29.574
beautiful.
00:24:30.394 --> 00:24:32.336
But what about that true connection to
00:24:32.415 --> 00:24:34.156
somebody that is actually beautiful?
00:24:34.917 --> 00:24:36.878
read the book, taken the course,
00:24:37.118 --> 00:24:39.460
been through the experiences and now can
00:24:39.519 --> 00:24:41.040
customize something for you.
00:24:41.441 --> 00:24:42.761
That's the type of people we're
00:24:42.821 --> 00:24:43.422
interviewing,
00:24:43.662 --> 00:24:46.603
that level that's right next connected and
00:24:46.643 --> 00:24:48.463
haven't forgotten what it feels like to be
00:24:48.483 --> 00:24:50.884
where you are right now.
00:24:51.065 --> 00:24:52.566
Exactly, exactly.
00:24:52.945 --> 00:24:54.646
And I think that's what's so beautiful
00:24:54.787 --> 00:24:56.667
about having a community.
00:24:56.708 --> 00:24:58.469
And I haven't found another
00:24:59.605 --> 00:25:02.593
social media outlet besides facebook that
00:25:02.633 --> 00:25:04.897
does that well you know and and maybe
00:25:04.999 --> 00:25:05.881
i just haven't looked
00:25:07.179 --> 00:25:08.680
far enough or wide enough,
00:25:08.720 --> 00:25:12.541
but I love the way that a large
00:25:12.582 --> 00:25:14.682
group on Facebook can bring people
00:25:14.722 --> 00:25:16.364
together from all over the world.
00:25:16.384 --> 00:25:18.365
And we can actually have conversations in
00:25:18.404 --> 00:25:21.166
there, not just comments, but you know,
00:25:21.346 --> 00:25:22.928
actual conversations, you know,
00:25:22.968 --> 00:25:24.568
kind of like what we're doing right now.
00:25:24.969 --> 00:25:26.910
I love what Craig says.
00:25:26.970 --> 00:25:30.632
He says sometimes the, we are not,
00:25:30.731 --> 00:25:33.013
we are the messenger and not necessarily
00:25:33.054 --> 00:25:33.693
the message.
00:25:33.993 --> 00:25:36.055
So funny that you say that Craig,
00:25:36.095 --> 00:25:37.016
because sometimes,
00:25:37.713 --> 00:25:39.695
When I started the Be Awesome Network,
00:25:39.776 --> 00:25:41.196
I kind of thought it was about,
00:25:41.416 --> 00:25:42.917
I have a story to share and I
00:25:42.938 --> 00:25:45.579
wanted to kind of share my story and
00:25:45.680 --> 00:25:48.481
I wanted to give insight and wisdom and
00:25:48.501 --> 00:25:50.384
put quotes in there all the time.
00:25:50.423 --> 00:25:51.203
And, you know,
00:25:51.284 --> 00:25:54.747
and what ended up happening is that I
00:25:54.807 --> 00:25:57.949
realized that I was really just the
00:25:58.009 --> 00:25:58.670
microphone.
00:25:58.750 --> 00:26:00.711
I was really just the stage for people
00:26:00.750 --> 00:26:01.612
to stand on and
00:26:02.056 --> 00:26:04.576
And not that I don't have valuable things
00:26:04.616 --> 00:26:05.057
to share,
00:26:05.076 --> 00:26:06.857
but I didn't want it to be about
00:26:06.897 --> 00:26:07.157
me.
00:26:07.617 --> 00:26:10.298
And now I feel very responsible for the
00:26:10.338 --> 00:26:12.319
group that I've collected and very
00:26:12.359 --> 00:26:15.422
protective of people that are in there.
00:26:15.801 --> 00:26:17.201
And so that's why, Debbie,
00:26:17.221 --> 00:26:18.682
to your point of
00:26:19.230 --> 00:26:20.872
why there are rules and why there are
00:26:20.912 --> 00:26:23.713
boundaries you know that's why that only
00:26:23.753 --> 00:26:26.556
people who are in my inner circle like
00:26:26.675 --> 00:26:29.858
you who i trust can post because i
00:26:29.878 --> 00:26:31.299
know what your share is going to be
00:26:31.339 --> 00:26:33.923
valuable and you you're inviting them into
00:26:34.042 --> 00:26:36.484
events that are happening and and things
00:26:36.505 --> 00:26:39.928
that can actually change their life so uh
00:26:39.948 --> 00:26:43.049
but there's also that deeper commitment so
00:26:44.183 --> 00:26:45.204
I don't know if we wanted to go
00:26:45.244 --> 00:26:48.207
down this, so feel free to redirect me.
00:26:48.646 --> 00:26:50.929
But the trusted relationships that happen
00:26:50.949 --> 00:26:53.049
in communities, if you build them right,
00:26:53.529 --> 00:26:55.632
there is collaborations, there is trust,
00:26:55.672 --> 00:26:57.173
there is a trust transfer,
00:26:57.532 --> 00:26:59.334
there is a stamp of approval saying,
00:26:59.513 --> 00:27:01.395
I know this person and I trust her.
00:27:01.435 --> 00:27:02.717
She's not going to lead you down a
00:27:02.836 --> 00:27:04.798
pathway that I don't believe in.
00:27:05.218 --> 00:27:07.380
Maybe even that I've taken her courses,
00:27:07.420 --> 00:27:08.560
I've been part of her world,
00:27:08.661 --> 00:27:09.701
I understand this.
00:27:10.162 --> 00:27:11.982
And that's really what I'm building out
00:27:12.063 --> 00:27:13.503
inside of my community is
00:27:13.845 --> 00:27:15.949
is that I always say the cream rises
00:27:15.989 --> 00:27:16.549
to the top.
00:27:17.151 --> 00:27:18.755
And it's a thing in our farming world
00:27:18.775 --> 00:27:19.936
that it's just natural.
00:27:20.637 --> 00:27:23.544
If you allow people the space to shine,
00:27:24.960 --> 00:27:25.480
They will.
00:27:25.840 --> 00:27:26.901
The cream will rise.
00:27:27.122 --> 00:27:29.123
The ones that feel, I mean,
00:27:29.163 --> 00:27:30.584
you can have a different modality.
00:27:30.624 --> 00:27:32.325
You can have a different everything else.
00:27:32.345 --> 00:27:34.866
But if your heart and your purpose is
00:27:34.987 --> 00:27:37.669
rooted in people,
00:27:37.689 --> 00:27:39.289
then I want to work with you.
00:27:39.390 --> 00:27:42.413
And I want to give you extra inside
00:27:42.452 --> 00:27:43.272
of my community.
00:27:43.333 --> 00:27:44.273
So in my community,
00:27:44.314 --> 00:27:46.816
we have moderators and experts that have
00:27:46.895 --> 00:27:49.096
special permissions that other people
00:27:49.136 --> 00:27:51.138
don't because there's people that have
00:27:51.338 --> 00:27:53.681
never, ever introduced themselves.
00:27:54.381 --> 00:27:55.201
We don't know them.
00:27:55.402 --> 00:27:56.242
They don't know me.
00:27:56.603 --> 00:27:58.284
They come in and they want to post.
00:27:58.624 --> 00:27:59.325
Not happening.
00:28:00.086 --> 00:28:02.146
If you can't take the time to introduce
00:28:02.166 --> 00:28:03.768
yourself and let us know who you are
00:28:03.807 --> 00:28:05.769
and maybe even comment interviews so that
00:28:05.789 --> 00:28:06.651
we can interview you,
00:28:07.391 --> 00:28:09.073
that's like coming into my dinner party
00:28:09.133 --> 00:28:11.334
and coming in and saying, hey, guys,
00:28:11.374 --> 00:28:11.914
look at me.
00:28:11.934 --> 00:28:13.336
There's a great party next door.
00:28:13.355 --> 00:28:14.176
Why don't you join me?
00:28:14.376 --> 00:28:16.498
And everybody leaves my party and goes to
00:28:16.518 --> 00:28:17.038
their party.
00:28:17.098 --> 00:28:18.319
That would be horrible.
00:28:18.759 --> 00:28:19.480
It's rude.
00:28:19.820 --> 00:28:21.122
It's not how we do business.
00:28:21.162 --> 00:28:22.262
It's not how we do life.
00:28:23.375 --> 00:28:25.797
Yeah, yeah, I totally agree.
00:28:25.836 --> 00:28:28.798
And I think that's such a great point
00:28:29.097 --> 00:28:30.499
as to, you know,
00:28:30.759 --> 00:28:33.420
when we create these spaces and everyone
00:28:33.480 --> 00:28:35.480
is understanding why they're there and
00:28:35.520 --> 00:28:37.781
what they're going to experience,
00:28:38.261 --> 00:28:40.063
then we don't want those people that are
00:28:40.103 --> 00:28:43.104
just fishing for people to come join them
00:28:43.624 --> 00:28:44.765
to be a part.
00:28:44.845 --> 00:28:46.746
And so there have been a very rare
00:28:46.786 --> 00:28:48.685
cases that I've actually had to like kick
00:28:48.705 --> 00:28:49.747
someone out of the group.
00:28:49.767 --> 00:28:50.326
Yeah.
00:28:51.174 --> 00:28:52.717
But when I did,
00:28:53.196 --> 00:28:54.679
it was having to do with that.
00:28:54.719 --> 00:28:57.541
They just would not stop pushing those
00:28:57.622 --> 00:28:59.765
limits and making it about them.
00:29:00.164 --> 00:29:01.626
And there's nothing wrong with making it
00:29:01.666 --> 00:29:03.528
about them as long as there's like an
00:29:03.588 --> 00:29:05.290
exchange and a value in that,
00:29:05.310 --> 00:29:07.413
because here I am saying it's all about
00:29:07.472 --> 00:29:07.794
them.
00:29:07.854 --> 00:29:09.515
But you know how that you know how
00:29:09.555 --> 00:29:11.076
that goes when someone shows up,
00:29:11.136 --> 00:29:12.659
like you said, and just is doing this.
00:29:13.083 --> 00:29:14.806
tap dance and saying, look at me,
00:29:14.846 --> 00:29:15.366
look at me.
00:29:15.487 --> 00:29:16.648
So I love that.
00:29:16.689 --> 00:29:18.271
Well, I have another question.
00:29:18.813 --> 00:29:20.236
And this question is,
00:29:20.316 --> 00:29:23.141
do you think people are craving community
00:29:23.181 --> 00:29:25.064
more today than they used to?
00:29:25.505 --> 00:29:26.307
What do you think, Debbie?
00:29:26.758 --> 00:29:29.500
Yeah, and specific communities for sure.
00:29:30.280 --> 00:29:31.761
I've told this story before,
00:29:32.382 --> 00:29:34.963
but it's worth saying right now is that,
00:29:35.464 --> 00:29:35.724
you know,
00:29:35.825 --> 00:29:39.448
I've been part of a community for nine
00:29:39.488 --> 00:29:40.108
years now,
00:29:40.548 --> 00:29:42.130
and we do live events where there's
00:29:42.250 --> 00:29:44.031
thousands of people in each Zoom room,
00:29:44.071 --> 00:29:45.712
and then there's thousands of Zoom rooms.
00:29:45.752 --> 00:29:47.714
So we're talking a million people online
00:29:47.734 --> 00:29:49.256
at the same time at these events.
00:29:50.224 --> 00:29:52.885
there is people that will not leave the
00:29:52.945 --> 00:29:54.446
event after it closes.
00:29:55.188 --> 00:29:56.788
So we play a song and we play
00:29:56.807 --> 00:29:57.769
a song and we're like,
00:29:57.868 --> 00:29:59.150
one more song and we're closing.
00:29:59.269 --> 00:30:01.431
And our motto is we don't want to
00:30:01.490 --> 00:30:03.192
leave them if they're not ready to leave.
00:30:03.672 --> 00:30:04.852
And people don't want to leave.
00:30:06.032 --> 00:30:07.673
They just sat there like they had a
00:30:07.733 --> 00:30:10.095
lifeline and they want connection and
00:30:10.115 --> 00:30:11.175
they're still in the chat.
00:30:11.296 --> 00:30:11.516
Now,
00:30:11.875 --> 00:30:13.057
there is the people that are in the
00:30:13.096 --> 00:30:14.196
chat because they're trying to do
00:30:14.237 --> 00:30:15.617
business, which is a no-go.
00:30:15.877 --> 00:30:17.318
And then there's the people that are just
00:30:17.378 --> 00:30:17.499
so
00:30:17.858 --> 00:30:19.798
thrilled that somebody actually heard
00:30:19.838 --> 00:30:21.079
them, even though they never spoke,
00:30:21.359 --> 00:30:22.660
even though it was all in the chat,
00:30:23.480 --> 00:30:24.680
somebody heard them.
00:30:24.700 --> 00:30:25.500
Yeah.
00:30:25.540 --> 00:30:27.421
That's why I believe connection is so
00:30:27.480 --> 00:30:29.641
important right now is that we have a
00:30:29.740 --> 00:30:32.442
world that we were talking about.
00:30:32.521 --> 00:30:34.241
I'm from a small community and we used
00:30:34.261 --> 00:30:35.762
to just on Sundays get together.
00:30:35.903 --> 00:30:36.823
That's just what you did.
00:30:37.343 --> 00:30:38.863
And now more and more people are staying
00:30:38.883 --> 00:30:40.703
at home watching TV or being on the
00:30:40.723 --> 00:30:41.203
internet.
00:30:41.584 --> 00:30:42.463
We're not playing cards.
00:30:42.483 --> 00:30:43.763
We're not having a picnic.
00:30:43.804 --> 00:30:44.604
We're not visiting.
00:30:45.144 --> 00:30:46.845
We need that connection.
00:30:48.707 --> 00:30:49.890
I totally agree.
00:30:50.171 --> 00:30:53.640
I think when the world shut down for
00:30:53.759 --> 00:30:55.825
that year in
00:30:57.150 --> 00:31:00.131
everyone started to create new habits of
00:31:00.310 --> 00:31:03.712
being online and finding communities and
00:31:04.212 --> 00:31:05.374
even gaming.
00:31:05.413 --> 00:31:06.334
And like you said,
00:31:06.433 --> 00:31:09.895
movies and being introverts.
00:31:11.215 --> 00:31:12.656
It was driving me crazy.
00:31:12.797 --> 00:31:16.679
I was like, I need people.
00:31:16.759 --> 00:31:19.759
And so we get into those habits of
00:31:20.259 --> 00:31:22.040
staying separate.
00:31:22.260 --> 00:31:23.902
And I think it was someone I heard
00:31:23.981 --> 00:31:24.321
a talk
00:31:25.584 --> 00:31:28.528
not too long ago, where people,
00:31:28.567 --> 00:31:30.411
like you said, used to gather.
00:31:30.431 --> 00:31:31.231
They used to
00:31:32.090 --> 00:31:34.291
do you know church on sundays and have
00:31:34.352 --> 00:31:37.573
potlucks afterwards and they used to and
00:31:37.613 --> 00:31:41.714
it was like the invention of garages that
00:31:41.734 --> 00:31:44.075
are attached to your house and air
00:31:44.115 --> 00:31:46.096
conditioning because they used to sit out
00:31:46.115 --> 00:31:48.076
on their porches because they needed air
00:31:48.156 --> 00:31:50.357
right yeah because it was so stale and
00:31:50.718 --> 00:31:53.098
hot inside so i was like oh wow
00:31:53.138 --> 00:31:56.000
so sometimes those conveniences that we
00:31:56.619 --> 00:31:59.020
are enjoying in our lives actually
00:31:59.540 --> 00:32:03.462
inconvenience us and tear us apart instead
00:32:03.502 --> 00:32:04.743
of bringing us together.
00:32:05.203 --> 00:32:07.484
And I remember having a neighbor for a
00:32:07.505 --> 00:32:08.385
good couple of years.
00:32:08.586 --> 00:32:10.227
I never even saw them because they just
00:32:10.307 --> 00:32:13.607
drive in, shut the garage, go inside,
00:32:13.808 --> 00:32:15.689
get in the car, open the garage,
00:32:15.849 --> 00:32:16.490
drive out.
00:32:17.250 --> 00:32:20.132
So I think that's kind of a sad
00:32:20.172 --> 00:32:23.673
gesture of where we've ended up.
00:32:24.294 --> 00:32:26.214
And I would love to return to the
00:32:26.555 --> 00:32:28.096
getting together for potlucks.
00:32:28.685 --> 00:32:30.866
Yeah, so, so super cool.
00:32:30.967 --> 00:32:33.067
So every winter we go to Mexico for
00:32:33.107 --> 00:32:33.728
three months.
00:32:33.827 --> 00:32:35.328
And one of the things that you said
00:32:35.388 --> 00:32:37.069
is everybody's out on their porch at
00:32:37.109 --> 00:32:37.369
night.
00:32:37.710 --> 00:32:38.931
When you walk down the street,
00:32:39.010 --> 00:32:40.411
you're waving, you're talking,
00:32:40.431 --> 00:32:41.231
you're chattering.
00:32:41.271 --> 00:32:43.011
You might even be gathering about at the
00:32:43.092 --> 00:32:44.373
ice cream shop visiting.
00:32:44.853 --> 00:32:45.794
And I love that.
00:32:45.953 --> 00:32:47.653
I kind of feel like I'm going back
00:32:47.733 --> 00:32:48.555
into that world.
00:32:49.234 --> 00:32:50.915
But the other thing that I wanted to
00:32:50.976 --> 00:32:53.737
mention is that no matter what type of
00:32:53.797 --> 00:32:56.478
community you think you want to be a
00:32:56.538 --> 00:32:57.018
part of,
00:32:57.459 --> 00:32:59.499
there's a two way energy exchange that
00:32:59.538 --> 00:33:00.099
happens.
00:33:00.180 --> 00:33:03.260
You have to show up and be seen
00:33:03.421 --> 00:33:05.041
like you have to don't put your wall
00:33:05.122 --> 00:33:06.001
up and go like this.
00:33:06.241 --> 00:33:07.522
I really want somebody to see me,
00:33:07.563 --> 00:33:08.643
but I'm not allowing it.
00:33:08.663 --> 00:33:09.943
I'm not allowing their energy in.
00:33:10.624 --> 00:33:12.545
And it also has to be an inviting
00:33:12.586 --> 00:33:15.186
place because there's nothing worse than
00:33:15.446 --> 00:33:18.108
going to anything, a community, an event,
00:33:18.249 --> 00:33:18.730
anything,
00:33:19.150 --> 00:33:21.070
and feeling like you don't belong,
00:33:21.171 --> 00:33:23.913
feeling more lonely in community than you
00:33:23.972 --> 00:33:25.374
were in your own house,
00:33:25.433 --> 00:33:26.315
in your own basement.
00:33:26.934 --> 00:33:29.196
So even though we're craving it,
00:33:30.382 --> 00:33:32.422
Let's make sure we're being intentional
00:33:32.481 --> 00:33:33.722
about from both sides,
00:33:34.303 --> 00:33:36.482
the side of the giver and the side
00:33:36.522 --> 00:33:37.324
of the receiver,
00:33:37.443 --> 00:33:39.463
so that we're making sure that our energy
00:33:39.503 --> 00:33:42.484
and intentions are clear.
00:33:42.644 --> 00:33:43.204
I love that.
00:33:43.325 --> 00:33:43.865
I love that.
00:33:43.984 --> 00:33:46.244
And thank you, Tara, for your comment.
00:33:46.746 --> 00:33:47.766
Wow, that's so true.
00:33:47.806 --> 00:33:50.405
People are connection starved and craving
00:33:50.445 --> 00:33:51.707
deep heart to hearts.
00:33:51.846 --> 00:33:52.366
I love that.
00:33:52.767 --> 00:33:55.508
Tara is actually in one of my smaller
00:33:55.528 --> 00:33:57.607
communities within the Be Awesome Network.
00:33:58.403 --> 00:34:00.266
And I, I,
00:34:00.425 --> 00:34:02.449
I shared this week that it really means
00:34:02.489 --> 00:34:04.511
a lot to me to get together with
00:34:04.531 --> 00:34:05.693
these people because.
00:34:06.368 --> 00:34:08.510
I start to really connect and love them
00:34:08.971 --> 00:34:10.552
and want to support them and help them
00:34:10.612 --> 00:34:11.753
in any way I can.
00:34:12.193 --> 00:34:14.775
Not that I don't feel that for everyone
00:34:14.835 --> 00:34:16.735
or not that I wouldn't extend that to
00:34:16.876 --> 00:34:19.137
anyone who wanted to be a part of
00:34:19.177 --> 00:34:19.418
that.
00:34:19.458 --> 00:34:20.378
But, you know,
00:34:20.398 --> 00:34:23.260
you just you just start to really connect
00:34:23.340 --> 00:34:26.702
when someone when you are in that small,
00:34:27.003 --> 00:34:28.824
smaller group within the group.
00:34:29.023 --> 00:34:30.744
And yes,
00:34:30.784 --> 00:34:32.907
people are starved to and they're craving
00:34:33.146 --> 00:34:34.527
deep heart to hearts and
00:34:34.780 --> 00:34:38.244
So that kind of leads me to our
00:34:38.485 --> 00:34:40.766
round where we go quick fire,
00:34:42.047 --> 00:34:44.010
the community edition.
00:34:44.050 --> 00:34:45.672
We're going to ask a question.
00:34:45.692 --> 00:34:47.233
There's going to be this or that.
00:34:48.213 --> 00:34:49.715
So here's a good question.
00:34:49.795 --> 00:34:50.336
I like this.
00:34:50.677 --> 00:34:51.637
Which matters more,
00:34:51.777 --> 00:34:54.661
being welcomed or being remembered?
00:34:55.021 --> 00:34:55.641
What do you think, Debbie?
00:34:56.478 --> 00:34:57.659
Probably the remembered.
00:34:58.440 --> 00:35:01.663
I think welcome could be just an automatic
00:35:01.702 --> 00:35:02.204
response.
00:35:02.244 --> 00:35:04.286
It's like, how are you doing today?
00:35:04.405 --> 00:35:06.487
And then not listening for the response.
00:35:06.987 --> 00:35:09.110
So I think the remembered feels better to
00:35:09.150 --> 00:35:10.771
me.
00:35:10.891 --> 00:35:11.811
I totally agree.
00:35:11.972 --> 00:35:14.094
And I'm one of those people who I
00:35:14.114 --> 00:35:16.295
have to hear your name like probably three
00:35:16.315 --> 00:35:18.157
or four times before I remember it.
00:35:18.197 --> 00:35:20.798
So I always tell people, I'm so sorry.
00:35:21.619 --> 00:35:22.820
I don't remember your name.
00:35:24.398 --> 00:35:26.659
So that's something I need to improve on.
00:35:26.719 --> 00:35:27.099
Right.
00:35:27.179 --> 00:35:29.862
And it's like being remembered.
00:35:29.902 --> 00:35:31.804
But I will remember things about them
00:35:31.864 --> 00:35:35.226
like, oh, your your dog, your dog is,
00:35:35.306 --> 00:35:35.726
you know,
00:35:36.788 --> 00:35:38.630
a crazy lab or something like that.
00:35:38.690 --> 00:35:40.231
Like we've we've shared stories,
00:35:40.251 --> 00:35:41.251
we've shared memories.
00:35:41.831 --> 00:35:44.875
And so I love that being remembered is
00:35:45.094 --> 00:35:46.115
so important.
00:35:46.376 --> 00:35:48.338
And so what give us some tips on
00:35:48.398 --> 00:35:50.278
how you remember people, Debbie,
00:35:50.318 --> 00:35:51.260
because you do a lot.
00:35:51.699 --> 00:35:53.260
I think it's the same thing as you.
00:35:53.340 --> 00:35:54.882
I remember a piece of their story.
00:35:55.742 --> 00:35:58.083
I definitely their mission, their purpose,
00:35:58.163 --> 00:36:00.143
something that stood out that we actually
00:36:00.184 --> 00:36:01.545
connected at a deeper level.
00:36:01.985 --> 00:36:02.284
Right.
00:36:02.405 --> 00:36:05.126
It's I really will remember and connect to
00:36:05.146 --> 00:36:06.927
you if I know that you're embodying what
00:36:06.947 --> 00:36:07.527
you're saying.
00:36:07.608 --> 00:36:09.829
Like there's just a like zing to me
00:36:10.148 --> 00:36:12.030
where it's like zone in on this person.
00:36:12.250 --> 00:36:12.951
They are gold.
00:36:13.650 --> 00:36:15.492
And, um,
00:36:15.632 --> 00:36:17.454
one of the biggest fears I have is
00:36:17.494 --> 00:36:19.275
being put into a room where I will
00:36:19.315 --> 00:36:22.458
forget somebody's name or I won't, uh,
00:36:22.559 --> 00:36:23.960
remember somebody at all.
00:36:24.460 --> 00:36:26.481
And so that still terrifies me and just
00:36:26.521 --> 00:36:28.063
makes me feel sick to my heart,
00:36:28.483 --> 00:36:29.704
but I can guarantee you,
00:36:29.824 --> 00:36:30.885
I remember their energy.
00:36:32.440 --> 00:36:35.943
absolutely absolutely there was a season
00:36:36.123 --> 00:36:38.583
um speaking to tara who's listening there
00:36:38.603 --> 00:36:40.125
was a season where i was calling her
00:36:40.204 --> 00:36:44.367
tara and i have another person in my
00:36:44.748 --> 00:36:47.648
tighter community named savannah not
00:36:47.728 --> 00:36:52.331
savannah savannah and so those moments
00:36:52.371 --> 00:36:53.952
when you get it wrong it's like a
00:36:54.012 --> 00:36:56.313
cringe a cringe and i saw your face
00:36:56.373 --> 00:36:58.255
cringe when i say i i have a
00:36:58.295 --> 00:37:00.215
hard time remembering people's names
00:37:01.166 --> 00:37:01.327
Well,
00:37:01.407 --> 00:37:02.927
and I cringe because I didn't believe it
00:37:02.947 --> 00:37:03.489
to be true.
00:37:03.909 --> 00:37:05.070
Like you are,
00:37:05.269 --> 00:37:07.590
you just have an exceptional memory of
00:37:07.630 --> 00:37:09.211
like the people you've interviewed.
00:37:09.251 --> 00:37:12.173
It's been amazing to witness.
00:37:12.273 --> 00:37:12.494
Yeah.
00:37:12.695 --> 00:37:12.914
Yeah.
00:37:12.994 --> 00:37:13.594
Well, thank you.
00:37:13.655 --> 00:37:14.076
Thank you.
00:37:14.115 --> 00:37:14.235
Well,
00:37:14.295 --> 00:37:15.737
and that's probably one of the things that
00:37:15.757 --> 00:37:17.217
I'm really hard on myself if I,
00:37:17.318 --> 00:37:18.458
if I can't remember.
00:37:18.518 --> 00:37:18.878
Right.
00:37:18.978 --> 00:37:21.099
And, um, but yeah, but what,
00:37:21.300 --> 00:37:23.202
what's at the core of that I think
00:37:23.222 --> 00:37:26.523
is important because I care, you know,
00:37:26.976 --> 00:37:29.860
It's because I care that it really bothers
00:37:29.900 --> 00:37:31.663
me when I can't remember or pronounce
00:37:31.682 --> 00:37:32.965
someone's name right, right?
00:37:33.525 --> 00:37:34.887
So I love that.
00:37:34.927 --> 00:37:35.449
Well, thank you.
00:37:35.469 --> 00:37:36.750
I have an example of it.
00:37:36.809 --> 00:37:38.532
And I think it's like, yeah.
00:37:39.114 --> 00:37:40.996
So there's a person that's been in my
00:37:41.036 --> 00:37:41.617
world for,
00:37:42.518 --> 00:37:45.880
at least seven years i know her but
00:37:45.940 --> 00:37:49.563
her name is spelt differently so eileen
00:37:49.722 --> 00:37:52.585
and irene are almost identical instead of
00:37:52.605 --> 00:37:55.106
there's an l instead of the r and
00:37:55.206 --> 00:37:58.409
so i'm doing this conference this business
00:37:58.429 --> 00:38:00.230
conference and she raises her hand and i
00:38:00.269 --> 00:38:01.630
bring her to the front of the stage
00:38:01.670 --> 00:38:03.072
and called her by the wrong name
00:38:03.751 --> 00:38:06.052
And she got up and she whispered, Debbie,
00:38:06.092 --> 00:38:06.873
it's Eileen.
00:38:07.132 --> 00:38:08.474
And I said, I know,
00:38:08.693 --> 00:38:10.855
but my cousin's name is Eileen and it's
00:38:10.914 --> 00:38:11.835
spelled differently.
00:38:11.875 --> 00:38:13.835
And I just can't make myself say it
00:38:13.876 --> 00:38:14.396
properly.
00:38:14.856 --> 00:38:16.396
But I still just get that gut,
00:38:16.436 --> 00:38:18.257
that kick in the gut feeling that I
00:38:18.297 --> 00:38:20.438
dishonored her by saying the wrong name.
00:38:20.458 --> 00:38:23.378
And she was so genuine and so good
00:38:23.418 --> 00:38:23.759
about it.
00:38:23.798 --> 00:38:25.300
But yeah, I'm hard on myself.
00:38:25.320 --> 00:38:26.820
I won't forgive myself for doing that in
00:38:26.860 --> 00:38:27.260
public.
00:38:28.041 --> 00:38:29.360
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:38:29.760 --> 00:38:31.882
Well, I can imagine how
00:38:32.474 --> 00:38:33.735
how that felt, right?
00:38:33.775 --> 00:38:35.896
Because I've been in situations like that
00:38:35.976 --> 00:38:36.057
too.
00:38:36.117 --> 00:38:37.197
And I think we all have.
00:38:37.858 --> 00:38:39.960
But again, it's the caring.
00:38:40.960 --> 00:38:43.742
It's because you care is why it bothers
00:38:43.762 --> 00:38:44.463
you so much.
00:38:44.664 --> 00:38:46.324
So I love that.
00:38:46.344 --> 00:38:47.925
Thank you for sharing that.
00:38:48.005 --> 00:38:49.507
It makes me feel a little bit better.
00:38:51.764 --> 00:38:52.103
OK,
00:38:52.123 --> 00:38:54.925
we're going to go on to another question
00:38:54.965 --> 00:38:55.565
of this or that,
00:38:55.644 --> 00:38:58.166
which creates more connection,
00:38:58.686 --> 00:39:02.007
laughing together or being vulnerable
00:39:02.047 --> 00:39:02.387
together?
00:39:02.427 --> 00:39:05.447
This one's a hard one for me.
00:39:05.487 --> 00:39:05.967
Yeah,
00:39:06.007 --> 00:39:08.188
and I almost I wanted you to say
00:39:08.248 --> 00:39:11.108
crying together because being vulnerable
00:39:11.148 --> 00:39:13.849
together doesn't actually mean that you
00:39:13.889 --> 00:39:14.510
went deep.
00:39:14.949 --> 00:39:16.771
It means you spilled something.
00:39:17.967 --> 00:39:20.009
So that doesn't always create a
00:39:20.048 --> 00:39:20.628
connection.
00:39:21.550 --> 00:39:23.670
But when you actually get to the point
00:39:23.710 --> 00:39:25.231
that you not only said it,
00:39:25.291 --> 00:39:27.094
but heard the other person,
00:39:27.994 --> 00:39:29.655
now there is maybe tears.
00:39:29.795 --> 00:39:32.016
And that feels like another level
00:39:32.097 --> 00:39:32.717
altogether.
00:39:32.878 --> 00:39:33.798
So that's my answer.
00:39:34.599 --> 00:39:35.039
Oh, wow.
00:39:35.179 --> 00:39:35.800
I love that.
00:39:36.860 --> 00:39:37.922
You know, Debbie,
00:39:38.001 --> 00:39:39.523
you and I are in a smaller group.
00:39:39.603 --> 00:39:40.664
I'm just going to put my hair up
00:39:40.704 --> 00:39:41.103
real quick.
00:39:41.123 --> 00:39:41.925
It's driving me crazy.
00:39:43.981 --> 00:39:44.802
You and I are,
00:39:44.822 --> 00:39:46.023
this is me being vulnerable,
00:39:46.083 --> 00:39:46.963
just me being me.
00:39:47.605 --> 00:39:48.065
Um,
00:39:48.105 --> 00:39:50.065
you and I are in a smaller group
00:39:50.347 --> 00:39:53.188
and, uh, we're doing, we're doing ignite,
00:39:53.349 --> 00:39:55.090
which is what we've talked about a couple
00:39:55.110 --> 00:39:57.452
of times before in previous episodes,
00:39:57.492 --> 00:39:59.172
and there will be spots opening up in
00:39:59.213 --> 00:39:59.773
the future.
00:40:00.293 --> 00:40:03.295
We're in this small group and, and, um,
00:40:03.315 --> 00:40:04.376
I did not expect this,
00:40:04.456 --> 00:40:07.539
but there's an opportunity at the end of
00:40:07.778 --> 00:40:10.179
our time together to share well all
00:40:10.199 --> 00:40:10.860
throughout, but.
00:40:12.007 --> 00:40:16.588
both weeks I've cried and I'm like,
00:40:16.688 --> 00:40:17.989
I guess it's just going to be my
00:40:18.028 --> 00:40:19.289
thing that I cry every week.
00:40:20.730 --> 00:40:23.329
But I think that's such an important point
00:40:23.371 --> 00:40:25.090
because yes, being vulnerable.
00:40:25.110 --> 00:40:26.251
And I don't think I've ever heard it
00:40:26.931 --> 00:40:27.710
said that way.
00:40:28.090 --> 00:40:30.931
You can spill your guts in an ingenuine
00:40:30.952 --> 00:40:32.851
way and just to get it out there,
00:40:32.871 --> 00:40:35.313
get it off your chest or, or, or,
00:40:35.512 --> 00:40:37.853
you know, tell a story in some way,
00:40:37.914 --> 00:40:38.773
shape or form.
00:40:39.813 --> 00:40:40.014
But
00:40:40.485 --> 00:40:42.353
to cry, to be vulnerable,
00:40:42.432 --> 00:40:44.539
to admit when you're wrong,
00:40:44.581 --> 00:40:46.788
to admit when you are struggling.
00:40:47.802 --> 00:40:49.603
It's a whole nother level.
00:40:49.762 --> 00:40:51.103
So I think I'm going to have to
00:40:51.163 --> 00:40:51.822
agree with you.
00:40:51.842 --> 00:40:53.164
Yeah, I mean,
00:40:53.244 --> 00:40:54.804
it goes back to what we said about
00:40:54.844 --> 00:40:56.224
community in the first place.
00:40:56.744 --> 00:40:58.704
Both of us care so deeply about creating
00:40:58.724 --> 00:41:01.385
that safe space for people to feel that.
00:41:01.905 --> 00:41:03.947
And there's compassion because both of us
00:41:03.967 --> 00:41:06.188
have been in communities or places in our
00:41:06.208 --> 00:41:08.807
life we didn't feel seen or heard or
00:41:08.827 --> 00:41:09.869
valued or respected.
00:41:09.929 --> 00:41:11.588
And so this is such a core value
00:41:11.608 --> 00:41:12.389
to both of us.
00:41:12.909 --> 00:41:14.489
And then the Ignite call,
00:41:14.889 --> 00:41:16.550
absolutely even more so,
00:41:17.110 --> 00:41:19.213
is the magic we're calling in as we
00:41:19.253 --> 00:41:21.896
create this intentional space for people
00:41:21.936 --> 00:41:23.579
to actually get out of their own way.
00:41:24.039 --> 00:41:25.880
And so there's one thing you have to
00:41:25.960 --> 00:41:29.204
feel completely safe for you to even see
00:41:29.284 --> 00:41:31.387
or hear the things that are blocking you,
00:41:31.768 --> 00:41:32.048
right?
00:41:32.548 --> 00:41:33.530
if we put our wall up,
00:41:33.570 --> 00:41:35.452
we can't even see we got blinders on,
00:41:35.492 --> 00:41:36.632
we can't see the problem.
00:41:37.213 --> 00:41:41.056
So I love it when I witness somebody
00:41:41.137 --> 00:41:42.438
have tears, because number one,
00:41:42.478 --> 00:41:43.458
it means it matters.
00:41:43.498 --> 00:41:44.199
And number two,
00:41:44.239 --> 00:41:46.041
it means we've created that space that
00:41:46.061 --> 00:41:47.442
allowed them to go deeper than they've
00:41:47.481 --> 00:41:48.342
ever gone before.
00:41:48.802 --> 00:41:50.985
And that really is what matters to me
00:41:51.005 --> 00:41:52.867
is the transformation we can take people
00:41:52.887 --> 00:41:53.146
through.
00:41:54.487 --> 00:41:55.648
Yes, absolutely.
00:41:56.309 --> 00:41:56.530
And
00:41:56.985 --> 00:41:59.427
you're right, feeling safe in a space,
00:41:59.487 --> 00:42:02.367
safe enough to cry and to show that
00:42:02.427 --> 00:42:06.750
side of you is magic in and of
00:42:06.829 --> 00:42:07.670
itself, right?
00:42:08.050 --> 00:42:11.851
It's this bond that you feel as a
00:42:11.911 --> 00:42:13.353
person who's participating,
00:42:14.253 --> 00:42:15.974
that you feel safe with those people and
00:42:15.994 --> 00:42:18.855
that you know those are my people, right?
00:42:18.954 --> 00:42:20.456
And when you meet people that you're like,
00:42:20.876 --> 00:42:23.097
oh, you're my person, you're my people.
00:42:23.456 --> 00:42:23.617
Yeah.
00:42:24.597 --> 00:42:26.099
Exactly.
00:42:26.280 --> 00:42:26.619
Okay.
00:42:26.659 --> 00:42:27.920
Well, we're going to, we're going to, I,
00:42:27.940 --> 00:42:29.402
this is a tough question too.
00:42:29.523 --> 00:42:34.206
This is the last spitfire or whatever you
00:42:34.226 --> 00:42:35.068
want to call it round.
00:42:35.108 --> 00:42:37.250
But this is interesting to me.
00:42:38.710 --> 00:42:39.672
Community builders,
00:42:39.692 --> 00:42:41.432
speaking about community builders,
00:42:42.353 --> 00:42:43.936
which do you feel is,
00:42:44.235 --> 00:42:48.400
is better great speaker or great listener
00:42:48.539 --> 00:42:49.780
as of community people?
00:42:51.643 --> 00:42:53.184
I would probably say listener.
00:42:53.844 --> 00:42:55.005
I think that again,
00:42:55.085 --> 00:42:56.885
if we open up a space to be
00:42:56.965 --> 00:42:58.405
seen and heard and valued,
00:42:58.965 --> 00:43:00.686
it has to be that we listen and
00:43:00.726 --> 00:43:01.385
we see them.
00:43:01.885 --> 00:43:03.427
And if we're so busy talking,
00:43:04.306 --> 00:43:06.626
that's probably not the role that you're
00:43:06.646 --> 00:43:08.927
there to do.
00:43:09.047 --> 00:43:09.788
Absolutely.
00:43:10.268 --> 00:43:12.768
I remember learning this and catching
00:43:12.829 --> 00:43:14.869
myself doing this very thing and
00:43:15.208 --> 00:43:17.849
It was some sort of a study or
00:43:17.889 --> 00:43:19.030
a book or something.
00:43:19.070 --> 00:43:21.731
But I remember reading this and learning
00:43:21.771 --> 00:43:25.353
this and it was all about being a
00:43:25.393 --> 00:43:26.213
great listener.
00:43:26.813 --> 00:43:29.715
So when someone is talking,
00:43:29.974 --> 00:43:31.655
do you think about the thing that you're
00:43:31.695 --> 00:43:34.657
going to say or do you actually listen
00:43:34.737 --> 00:43:35.677
to what they're saying?
00:43:36.579 --> 00:43:40.161
That was really convicting to me because
00:43:40.701 --> 00:43:43.501
there were times I remember times when I'm
00:43:43.581 --> 00:43:44.963
in a conversation and I just
00:43:45.342 --> 00:43:46.547
can't wait to say something.
00:43:47.009 --> 00:43:48.594
And so instead of listening to that
00:43:48.655 --> 00:43:49.077
person,
00:43:49.588 --> 00:43:51.188
I'm thinking about what I'm going to say.
00:43:51.268 --> 00:43:55.192
So that really helped me become a better
00:43:55.251 --> 00:43:55.731
listener.
00:43:56.072 --> 00:43:59.514
And now I get to interview people and
00:43:59.574 --> 00:44:01.576
I actually listen to what they're saying.
00:44:01.596 --> 00:44:02.916
And I come up with a question that
00:44:02.936 --> 00:44:04.157
dives a little deeper.
00:44:04.998 --> 00:44:06.018
And a lot of times when we get
00:44:06.159 --> 00:44:08.219
off of the live interview and we're
00:44:08.400 --> 00:44:10.880
talking afterwards, they're like,
00:44:11.061 --> 00:44:14.623
oh my gosh, you asked such good questions.
00:44:14.764 --> 00:44:15.583
And I'm like, really?
00:44:15.603 --> 00:44:16.405
Yeah.
00:44:17.159 --> 00:44:18.219
I was, thank you for that.
00:44:18.259 --> 00:44:19.539
Cause I was going to say the exact
00:44:19.579 --> 00:44:20.079
same thing.
00:44:20.139 --> 00:44:21.481
It's that the best,
00:44:21.960 --> 00:44:25.041
the best praise that I can get feedback
00:44:25.121 --> 00:44:26.242
I can get is that you're such a
00:44:26.282 --> 00:44:26.882
great listener.
00:44:26.961 --> 00:44:27.422
You,
00:44:27.443 --> 00:44:28.882
you heard things that I said and you
00:44:28.902 --> 00:44:29.702
picked up on them.
00:44:30.463 --> 00:44:32.804
And that feels to me is that,
00:44:32.963 --> 00:44:34.844
that core value of mine of really
00:44:34.905 --> 00:44:36.085
listening with my whole body,
00:44:36.146 --> 00:44:37.985
because I actually will feel in their
00:44:38.025 --> 00:44:38.266
body.
00:44:38.306 --> 00:44:39.706
If they're having a resistance,
00:44:39.786 --> 00:44:41.907
I will hear a whisper asks,
00:44:42.047 --> 00:44:43.128
ask something deeper and,
00:44:43.387 --> 00:44:44.949
And I've noticed that in you too.
00:44:44.989 --> 00:44:47.751
You're very in tune to theirs.
00:44:48.273 --> 00:44:49.893
But let's talk about the other side of
00:44:49.914 --> 00:44:50.235
that,
00:44:50.295 --> 00:44:52.157
because both of us were probably in that
00:44:52.177 --> 00:44:54.458
place that you said where you're like, oh,
00:44:54.478 --> 00:44:54.918
my God,
00:44:55.119 --> 00:44:56.641
I have to think about something to
00:44:56.681 --> 00:44:57.262
respond.
00:44:57.661 --> 00:44:58.463
Is it going to be right?
00:44:58.483 --> 00:44:59.664
Am I going to say the wrong thing?
00:44:59.704 --> 00:45:01.045
Am I going to ask the wrong questions?
00:45:01.065 --> 00:45:03.487
Like small talk conversation for me is
00:45:03.527 --> 00:45:04.608
harder than going deep.
00:45:05.228 --> 00:45:07.231
So it's like my mind wants to go
00:45:07.291 --> 00:45:07.650
deep,
00:45:07.990 --> 00:45:10.273
but then everybody in that specific group
00:45:10.652 --> 00:45:12.974
or coffee chat wants to say surface level.
00:45:13.074 --> 00:45:14.737
And I just feel like I don't have
00:45:14.777 --> 00:45:15.536
anything to say.
00:45:16.137 --> 00:45:18.358
And so I worry about tripping up.
00:45:18.498 --> 00:45:20.800
I worry that's when I'm not listening.
00:45:21.021 --> 00:45:23.182
I'm zoning out because it's thinking I
00:45:23.202 --> 00:45:23.884
don't fit here.
00:45:24.083 --> 00:45:24.824
I don't, I don't,
00:45:24.844 --> 00:45:26.905
this conversation doesn't matter to me.
00:45:26.945 --> 00:45:28.806
Why can't we just go deep and trust
00:45:28.847 --> 00:45:29.248
each other?
00:45:30.690 --> 00:45:33.672
I love that because what you said is
00:45:33.753 --> 00:45:34.532
so key.
00:45:34.652 --> 00:45:35.032
You know,
00:45:35.512 --> 00:45:39.594
when you feel like you're safe and you
00:45:39.735 --> 00:45:42.157
are a part, then you listen well.
00:45:42.317 --> 00:45:44.097
But if you're feeling a little bit like
00:45:44.217 --> 00:45:45.057
I don't belong here,
00:45:45.077 --> 00:45:46.298
then you're thinking about what am I going
00:45:46.318 --> 00:45:47.438
to say, what I'm going to do.
00:45:48.039 --> 00:45:49.500
And thank you, by the way, Tara.
00:45:49.539 --> 00:45:51.581
She says it's so inspiring that you both
00:45:51.621 --> 00:45:53.782
care and lead with your hearts to nurture
00:45:53.882 --> 00:45:54.722
your communities.
00:45:54.762 --> 00:45:55.402
So thank you.
00:45:55.503 --> 00:45:55.864
Thank you.
00:45:55.884 --> 00:45:56.284
Thank you.
00:45:56.864 --> 00:45:58.445
and speaking of that we want to nurture
00:45:58.505 --> 00:46:01.226
this community so thank you those of you
00:46:01.266 --> 00:46:02.949
who are watching and contributing to the
00:46:02.969 --> 00:46:05.911
conversation you know i say this a lot
00:46:06.351 --> 00:46:09.032
i've looked and followed podcasts for a
00:46:09.072 --> 00:46:11.655
while and and we just i feel like
00:46:11.675 --> 00:46:13.076
debbie you can correct me if i'm wrong
00:46:13.096 --> 00:46:14.277
but i feel like we just kind of
00:46:14.297 --> 00:46:16.418
stumbled upon this but i think we're the
00:46:16.599 --> 00:46:19.960
only podcast is actually live and
00:46:20.061 --> 00:46:22.702
interactive right and we're taking the
00:46:22.742 --> 00:46:23.864
comments and we're actually
00:46:24.204 --> 00:46:25.751
changing maybe what we were going to talk
00:46:25.771 --> 00:46:27.320
about because of something that someone
00:46:27.360 --> 00:46:27.621
said.
00:46:28.137 --> 00:46:29.998
You know, and so thank you, Tara.
00:46:30.059 --> 00:46:30.898
Thank you, Craig.
00:46:30.938 --> 00:46:31.199
Thank you.
00:46:31.260 --> 00:46:33.021
Everyone else who's been listening,
00:46:33.061 --> 00:46:34.222
watching and commenting.
00:46:34.322 --> 00:46:37.023
We value what you have to say and
00:46:37.043 --> 00:46:38.865
we're listening.
00:46:38.925 --> 00:46:39.686
We're listening.
00:46:39.706 --> 00:46:41.728
All right.
00:46:41.768 --> 00:46:42.929
Well, um,
00:46:42.969 --> 00:46:44.911
I want to go into a little bit
00:46:45.050 --> 00:46:47.672
of a deeper dive into behind the
00:46:47.713 --> 00:46:50.956
communities that you and I have built
00:46:51.076 --> 00:46:51.536
Debbie.
00:46:51.815 --> 00:46:52.257
Um,
00:46:52.436 --> 00:46:54.938
I want to know why did you originally
00:46:54.998 --> 00:46:56.199
create your community?
00:46:57.574 --> 00:46:58.954
Yeah, well, I have two communities.
00:46:58.994 --> 00:47:01.257
And the first one was created seven years
00:47:01.297 --> 00:47:01.597
ago.
00:47:02.277 --> 00:47:05.280
And it was connecting heart-centered
00:47:05.340 --> 00:47:07.842
entrepreneurs, people with a true mission,
00:47:07.942 --> 00:47:08.541
a message,
00:47:09.222 --> 00:47:10.864
a lived experience that they went through.
00:47:10.983 --> 00:47:13.246
And the reason I created that one is
00:47:13.286 --> 00:47:15.487
because I was in this bigger world.
00:47:15.547 --> 00:47:17.027
I talked to you guys earlier about the
00:47:17.047 --> 00:47:18.690
millions of people coming into rooms.
00:47:19.110 --> 00:47:20.690
And the people that I've seen struggling
00:47:20.710 --> 00:47:22.592
the most were the people that were being
00:47:22.652 --> 00:47:23.032
told,
00:47:23.432 --> 00:47:26.114
do these five things and you'll have
00:47:26.175 --> 00:47:26.536
success.
00:47:27.295 --> 00:47:29.876
And true heart-centered entrepreneurs that
00:47:29.916 --> 00:47:33.056
are connected to their core divine
00:47:33.257 --> 00:47:35.717
calling, they can't do it that way.
00:47:36.137 --> 00:47:38.338
They have to connect back and feel aligned
00:47:38.378 --> 00:47:40.478
in their truth so they can create from
00:47:40.559 --> 00:47:41.358
that space.
00:47:41.780 --> 00:47:43.460
And so I created that one first,
00:47:43.739 --> 00:47:44.780
and it's men and women.
00:47:45.219 --> 00:47:46.860
And the reason they're there,
00:47:46.900 --> 00:47:48.900
they're heart-centered, purpose-driven.
00:47:49.181 --> 00:47:50.862
They aren't just somebody that wants to
00:47:50.942 --> 00:47:53.141
hustle and do the things that other people
00:47:53.161 --> 00:47:54.061
are telling them to do.
00:47:54.463 --> 00:47:55.943
They're there for a reason.
00:47:56.463 --> 00:47:57.864
And then the newest community,
00:47:57.884 --> 00:48:00.264
which I think is coming up two years,
00:48:00.905 --> 00:48:03.166
is Be Extraordinary Women's Network.
00:48:03.565 --> 00:48:06.166
And that is a really interesting story
00:48:06.527 --> 00:48:08.568
because I already had this other community
00:48:08.887 --> 00:48:12.409
and I kept being called to share women's
00:48:12.449 --> 00:48:14.190
stories that may or may not be an
00:48:14.271 --> 00:48:14.831
entrepreneur.
00:48:15.150 --> 00:48:16.952
They may be a volunteer their whole life.
00:48:17.692 --> 00:48:18.773
They were my aunts,
00:48:19.052 --> 00:48:20.532
those people that have made such a
00:48:20.572 --> 00:48:22.954
difference to my life and to so many
00:48:22.994 --> 00:48:23.795
people's lives.
00:48:24.355 --> 00:48:25.675
They were community builders.
00:48:25.735 --> 00:48:27.277
They were people that had done and
00:48:27.297 --> 00:48:29.280
volunteered and created in their own
00:48:29.320 --> 00:48:29.940
communities.
00:48:30.420 --> 00:48:30.920
And yet,
00:48:31.440 --> 00:48:32.862
if I'm only over here talking about
00:48:32.922 --> 00:48:34.143
entrepreneurs and people that want to
00:48:34.164 --> 00:48:34.844
build a business,
00:48:34.885 --> 00:48:37.166
I'm missing out on a whole bunch of
00:48:37.246 --> 00:48:37.686
gold.
00:48:38.146 --> 00:48:40.710
And so I created this to really curate
00:48:40.789 --> 00:48:42.891
and celebrate women from all over the
00:48:42.931 --> 00:48:44.733
world, no matter what age,
00:48:44.813 --> 00:48:47.396
to come and not only see hope and
00:48:47.436 --> 00:48:49.418
possibility in someone else's story,
00:48:49.978 --> 00:48:51.978
but to be able to see themselves and
00:48:52.018 --> 00:48:54.201
go, wow, I'm extraordinary too.
00:48:54.240 --> 00:48:55.601
I love that.
00:48:55.822 --> 00:48:57.101
I love that.
00:48:57.202 --> 00:48:58.882
And I remember when I first met you
00:48:58.943 --> 00:49:02.666
and you said you had the Be Extraordinary
00:49:02.746 --> 00:49:03.346
Women's Network.
00:49:03.405 --> 00:49:05.847
I was like, we have similar communities,
00:49:05.947 --> 00:49:06.307
right?
00:49:06.387 --> 00:49:08.528
Because you wanted to shine the
00:49:08.588 --> 00:49:11.951
extraordinary qualities of these women and
00:49:12.472 --> 00:49:14.353
And I wanted to highlight people's
00:49:14.454 --> 00:49:15.514
awesomeness, you know.
00:49:15.894 --> 00:49:17.016
So, I mean,
00:49:17.056 --> 00:49:19.056
we were just like in tune from the
00:49:19.097 --> 00:49:19.898
very beginning.
00:49:20.038 --> 00:49:21.498
And I love that so much.
00:49:22.500 --> 00:49:22.940
Yeah.
00:49:23.179 --> 00:49:25.282
So let's talk about your community.
00:49:25.362 --> 00:49:27.623
Why did you want to grow your community?
00:49:27.643 --> 00:49:29.485
Why did you even decide to do this
00:49:29.525 --> 00:49:30.226
in the first place?
00:49:31.221 --> 00:49:31.521
Yeah.
00:49:31.882 --> 00:49:33.603
I talked just a tiny bit about this
00:49:33.623 --> 00:49:34.905
at the beginning, but you know,
00:49:35.106 --> 00:49:37.489
I thought my ideas was that I,
00:49:38.471 --> 00:49:41.695
I overcame a lot and I started to
00:49:41.715 --> 00:49:42.476
feel awesome.
00:49:42.956 --> 00:49:44.938
So the original name for my community was
00:49:44.998 --> 00:49:46.521
be awesome at any age.
00:49:46.541 --> 00:49:47.882
And I had like in my head that
00:49:47.943 --> 00:49:48.503
we were going to,
00:49:48.853 --> 00:49:50.436
you know, talk about, you know,
00:49:50.715 --> 00:49:53.338
you can still live a good life in
00:49:53.358 --> 00:49:55.001
your fifties and your sixties and your
00:49:55.041 --> 00:49:55.561
seventies.
00:49:55.621 --> 00:49:56.963
And I, you know, so my,
00:49:57.244 --> 00:49:59.085
my mind shifted though,
00:49:59.246 --> 00:50:00.907
when I realized that, you know,
00:50:00.987 --> 00:50:01.688
I don't want to,
00:50:01.789 --> 00:50:03.251
I don't want to leave anyone out.
00:50:03.391 --> 00:50:05.793
I want everyone to feel and know that
00:50:05.813 --> 00:50:06.454
they're awesome.
00:50:07.175 --> 00:50:08.617
And so, yeah,
00:50:09.137 --> 00:50:10.880
I felt like I had something to give.
00:50:11.121 --> 00:50:12.842
And also,
00:50:13.324 --> 00:50:15.806
I had always supported other people's
00:50:15.867 --> 00:50:17.548
missions, other people's visions.
00:50:17.588 --> 00:50:19.331
I'd never really sat down and said,
00:50:19.371 --> 00:50:20.373
what do I want to do?
00:50:21.253 --> 00:50:22.335
What do I want to start?
00:50:22.856 --> 00:50:23.175
You know,
00:50:23.617 --> 00:50:26.360
so I was that supporter of other people
00:50:26.679 --> 00:50:28.201
and I was really good at it,
00:50:28.260 --> 00:50:29.001
but then I was like, well,
00:50:29.021 --> 00:50:31.784
it's time to support myself and do
00:50:31.804 --> 00:50:32.686
something fun.
00:50:32.786 --> 00:50:33.146
Right.
00:50:33.465 --> 00:50:34.447
And so that's really, I mean,
00:50:34.628 --> 00:50:36.750
it was born out of just a desire
00:50:36.829 --> 00:50:38.851
to show up and bring people together.
00:50:39.711 --> 00:50:41.552
And I knew that I wanted to have
00:50:41.572 --> 00:50:43.152
a little bit more freedom in my life.
00:50:43.713 --> 00:50:46.393
And I wanted to be on on the
00:50:46.414 --> 00:50:48.215
computer and take my business with me
00:50:48.255 --> 00:50:49.775
wherever I go around the world.
00:50:49.795 --> 00:50:51.076
That was my my thought.
00:50:51.715 --> 00:50:52.695
And then, you know,
00:50:52.715 --> 00:50:54.657
to meet all of these incredible people
00:50:54.697 --> 00:50:55.516
from all over the world.
00:50:55.536 --> 00:50:56.797
Now I want to go visit them all.
00:50:59.065 --> 00:51:00.485
So, yes, our hearts are the same.
00:51:00.525 --> 00:51:01.465
Be extraordinary.
00:51:01.567 --> 00:51:02.367
Be awesome.
00:51:02.547 --> 00:51:03.827
And, you know,
00:51:04.527 --> 00:51:06.949
why I wanted why I want to build
00:51:06.989 --> 00:51:08.731
a community and keep building it is
00:51:08.771 --> 00:51:11.753
because people need to hear that people
00:51:11.793 --> 00:51:13.253
need to know that they're awesome.
00:51:13.914 --> 00:51:16.715
And to have a focused group to somewhere
00:51:16.735 --> 00:51:19.077
to go every single day to hear that
00:51:19.097 --> 00:51:19.737
you're awesome,
00:51:20.016 --> 00:51:23.480
I think is a super important element to
00:51:23.539 --> 00:51:25.780
why I created the Be Awesome Network.
00:51:25.800 --> 00:51:25.900
So.
00:51:27.054 --> 00:51:28.038
Yeah, and I mean,
00:51:28.077 --> 00:51:30.847
when we talk about aligned and congruent,
00:51:31.590 --> 00:51:34.393
um pure intentions that's exactly you're
00:51:34.434 --> 00:51:36.394
such a beautiful living example of that
00:51:36.775 --> 00:51:38.496
you might have created it for you but
00:51:38.536 --> 00:51:40.719
then you fueled that fire by watching
00:51:40.778 --> 00:51:44.902
other people have uh be fulfilled inside
00:51:44.942 --> 00:51:46.844
of your community which has led you to
00:51:46.903 --> 00:51:48.824
create different offers which has led you
00:51:48.864 --> 00:51:51.487
to create your more coaching opportunities
00:51:51.527 --> 00:51:53.329
and now your book deal that you're doing
00:51:53.889 --> 00:51:56.512
this all happened because you fulfilled
00:51:56.811 --> 00:51:59.054
something that was being whispered in your
00:51:59.153 --> 00:52:00.135
ear that it was needed
00:52:00.534 --> 00:52:01.896
And then maybe whether you do it for
00:52:01.936 --> 00:52:03.295
yourself or you do it for others,
00:52:03.635 --> 00:52:05.117
you kept going with it.
00:52:05.577 --> 00:52:06.777
And so, yeah, again,
00:52:06.876 --> 00:52:08.617
I applaud you for everything that you've
00:52:08.657 --> 00:52:10.137
created.
00:52:10.177 --> 00:52:10.938
Well, thank you.
00:52:10.998 --> 00:52:12.259
And I think we both agree.
00:52:12.338 --> 00:52:13.340
It's both.
00:52:13.760 --> 00:52:14.719
It fills me up.
00:52:14.880 --> 00:52:16.701
Like what Tara was mentioning earlier,
00:52:16.740 --> 00:52:17.760
it fills me up.
00:52:17.880 --> 00:52:18.922
It makes me happy.
00:52:19.001 --> 00:52:20.382
It makes me feel fulfilled.
00:52:20.702 --> 00:52:22.422
Like I'm doing something important that
00:52:22.463 --> 00:52:22.983
matters.
00:52:23.893 --> 00:52:27.117
But it also fills other people up.
00:52:27.438 --> 00:52:28.280
And like I said,
00:52:28.340 --> 00:52:30.463
I started it maybe a little selfishly,
00:52:30.503 --> 00:52:32.065
just thinking I want this to be my
00:52:32.125 --> 00:52:32.605
thing.
00:52:33.286 --> 00:52:35.489
But as it was growing and as I
00:52:35.509 --> 00:52:39.514
was listening and and learning so much
00:52:39.534 --> 00:52:40.956
from other people, like I said,
00:52:40.976 --> 00:52:42.297
my my mind just.
00:52:42.873 --> 00:52:45.833
opened up and I realized that, you know,
00:52:45.934 --> 00:52:47.634
in order to build a good community,
00:52:47.673 --> 00:52:50.454
you have to include everyone and it can't
00:52:50.494 --> 00:52:52.596
be about one person, you know,
00:52:52.956 --> 00:52:54.076
and I don't want it to be about
00:52:54.135 --> 00:52:55.376
me, but I do want to help.
00:52:55.476 --> 00:52:57.597
And that's where the programs came from.
00:52:57.657 --> 00:52:58.577
Like seeing the need,
00:52:58.617 --> 00:53:00.117
talking to almost four hundred
00:53:00.197 --> 00:53:00.797
entrepreneurs,
00:53:00.838 --> 00:53:03.958
seeing the need for them with technology
00:53:04.119 --> 00:53:05.619
or them with, you know,
00:53:05.639 --> 00:53:07.780
building their business and showing up and
00:53:07.840 --> 00:53:09.239
being present online.
00:53:09.675 --> 00:53:11.556
And all the tricks and tips that go
00:53:11.577 --> 00:53:12.338
along with that.
00:53:12.398 --> 00:53:13.257
It's very tricky.
00:53:13.878 --> 00:53:14.478
You know this.
00:53:14.980 --> 00:53:17.240
And, you know, yeah, it's being visible,
00:53:17.300 --> 00:53:17.561
right?
00:53:17.601 --> 00:53:18.161
Being visible,
00:53:18.202 --> 00:53:19.762
getting your message out there to other
00:53:19.782 --> 00:53:20.043
people,
00:53:20.063 --> 00:53:21.244
to other awesome people who are just
00:53:21.264 --> 00:53:23.005
sitting there waiting to hear what you
00:53:23.025 --> 00:53:23.545
have to say.
00:53:23.684 --> 00:53:25.025
So, so fun.
00:53:25.065 --> 00:53:26.246
Well, and it's, Lori,
00:53:26.286 --> 00:53:28.288
it's such a good example of listening.
00:53:29.048 --> 00:53:31.250
You listen to the need in front of
00:53:31.289 --> 00:53:31.530
you.
00:53:31.891 --> 00:53:33.592
And then you went, I can help them.
00:53:34.052 --> 00:53:35.293
And then you created that help.
00:53:36.077 --> 00:53:37.798
That's so much better than somebody
00:53:37.838 --> 00:53:38.139
saying,
00:53:38.480 --> 00:53:40.101
I watched these guys tell me I could
00:53:40.121 --> 00:53:40.681
do this thing.
00:53:40.722 --> 00:53:42.242
If I do these three steps and I
00:53:42.282 --> 00:53:42.922
do this thing,
00:53:43.284 --> 00:53:44.485
there isn't even any heart in it.
00:53:44.505 --> 00:53:46.085
They don't know why they're doing it.
00:53:46.246 --> 00:53:48.086
You already started with your why.
00:53:48.128 --> 00:53:49.548
So creating from that point,
00:53:49.909 --> 00:53:51.889
just continue to flourish.
00:53:52.411 --> 00:53:53.371
This is, again,
00:53:53.572 --> 00:53:55.532
you're such a living example of somebody
00:53:55.552 --> 00:53:57.135
that takes their mission and their message
00:53:57.394 --> 00:53:58.576
and turns it into a business.
00:53:59.559 --> 00:53:59.900
Yeah.
00:53:59.960 --> 00:54:00.621
Well, thank you.
00:54:00.780 --> 00:54:01.141
Thank you.
00:54:01.181 --> 00:54:02.302
And I want that for everyone.
00:54:02.521 --> 00:54:04.322
I want everyone to wake up every morning
00:54:04.382 --> 00:54:06.023
and enjoy what they do, you know?
00:54:07.164 --> 00:54:08.326
Well, the next question,
00:54:08.686 --> 00:54:10.027
there are so many good questions here.
00:54:10.047 --> 00:54:11.568
We could talk for a whole nother hour,
00:54:11.648 --> 00:54:13.650
but we're not going to, don't worry.
00:54:14.510 --> 00:54:15.831
Our final question is this,
00:54:15.871 --> 00:54:17.751
and I think this is just the heart
00:54:18.393 --> 00:54:19.853
of all of what we've talked about.
00:54:20.353 --> 00:54:22.235
Has someone you met through your
00:54:22.275 --> 00:54:23.175
community, Debbie,
00:54:23.275 --> 00:54:25.478
become an important person in your actual
00:54:25.518 --> 00:54:25.858
life?
00:54:27.403 --> 00:54:30.744
Yes, many, many, many, many people.
00:54:31.324 --> 00:54:32.565
I call them deep friends.
00:54:32.726 --> 00:54:34.766
I visit different places in the world.
00:54:35.445 --> 00:54:37.166
It's amazing that, you know,
00:54:37.206 --> 00:54:39.128
we've been together for six years and then
00:54:39.188 --> 00:54:40.867
I finally get to hug them in person.
00:54:41.307 --> 00:54:43.849
I know them better than I know my
00:54:43.929 --> 00:54:44.568
neighbors.
00:54:45.208 --> 00:54:46.530
Yes, many, many,
00:54:46.730 --> 00:54:48.849
many operations like that.
00:54:48.929 --> 00:54:51.471
I've been part of projects all over the
00:54:51.510 --> 00:54:52.771
globe.
00:54:52.891 --> 00:54:53.952
I am so blessed.
00:54:55.442 --> 00:54:55.902
I love that.
00:54:55.922 --> 00:54:56.302
I love that for you.
00:54:56.322 --> 00:54:58.184
And I, I, I will say the same,
00:54:58.643 --> 00:54:58.804
you know,
00:54:58.824 --> 00:55:00.365
it's been two and a half years.
00:55:01.527 --> 00:55:04.148
One gal in particular couldn't be here
00:55:04.168 --> 00:55:04.769
with us live.
00:55:04.789 --> 00:55:05.951
She messaged me and said,
00:55:05.990 --> 00:55:07.152
I can't be live today.
00:55:09.353 --> 00:55:10.954
But yeah, I mean, we,
00:55:10.974 --> 00:55:14.137
we've just formed this connection and like
00:55:14.197 --> 00:55:14.577
you,
00:55:14.717 --> 00:55:16.179
I would love to go visit some of
00:55:16.239 --> 00:55:18.481
these, some of these wonderful souls,
00:55:18.681 --> 00:55:19.902
men and women and,
00:55:20.043 --> 00:55:23.206
uh one in particular i'm helping her with
00:55:23.246 --> 00:55:24.947
her business and she just got i don't
00:55:24.987 --> 00:55:26.969
know she has five clients now i think
00:55:27.369 --> 00:55:29.152
and she just launched a few weeks ago
00:55:29.672 --> 00:55:31.893
and it's just so fun and but we
00:55:31.914 --> 00:55:33.856
also laugh and send each other funny
00:55:33.876 --> 00:55:35.858
videos of our dogs and you know like
00:55:35.898 --> 00:55:39.440
you said we connect and i will always
00:55:39.481 --> 00:55:42.764
call her an amazing wonderful friend and
00:55:42.824 --> 00:55:43.025
so
00:55:43.637 --> 00:55:46.280
I think that's that's just I hope that
00:55:46.320 --> 00:55:48.461
encourages people who are out there who
00:55:48.543 --> 00:55:51.945
maybe don't have a community yet or want
00:55:51.965 --> 00:55:52.967
to start a community.
00:55:53.047 --> 00:55:53.987
I would say start it.
00:55:54.268 --> 00:55:54.827
Go ahead.
00:55:54.967 --> 00:55:55.389
You know,
00:55:55.469 --> 00:56:00.713
because we there's enough for everyone.
00:56:00.813 --> 00:56:01.114
Yeah.
00:56:01.574 --> 00:56:04.356
And it's OK if that feels hard and
00:56:04.416 --> 00:56:04.938
heavy and.
00:56:05.798 --> 00:56:07.139
Because people like us,
00:56:07.559 --> 00:56:09.621
we invite you into our community so you
00:56:09.661 --> 00:56:11.081
can invite your people in too.
00:56:11.442 --> 00:56:12.442
It's not just you.
00:56:12.481 --> 00:56:13.963
You bring your friends too.
00:56:14.463 --> 00:56:15.943
I know community building isn't for
00:56:16.003 --> 00:56:16.563
everybody.
00:56:17.224 --> 00:56:18.525
And honestly,
00:56:19.025 --> 00:56:21.527
people can feel that if it's just too
00:56:21.706 --> 00:56:22.146
much.
00:56:22.387 --> 00:56:23.467
It's not right or wrong.
00:56:23.507 --> 00:56:24.387
You didn't fail.
00:56:24.688 --> 00:56:26.728
It's just not what you're meant to do.
00:56:27.108 --> 00:56:28.909
Sometimes nourishing people inside of
00:56:28.949 --> 00:56:30.731
somebody else's community is the role that
00:56:30.751 --> 00:56:32.112
you might be wanting to take on.
00:56:33.481 --> 00:56:34.081
Absolutely.
00:56:34.342 --> 00:56:35.103
Absolutely.
00:56:35.143 --> 00:56:36.402
Such a great point.
00:56:36.463 --> 00:56:36.702
Wow.
00:56:37.422 --> 00:56:39.143
Well, we're going to end our time.
00:56:40.063 --> 00:56:40.583
Like I said,
00:56:40.623 --> 00:56:42.144
we could talk for a whole nother hour,
00:56:42.164 --> 00:56:45.445
Debbie.
00:56:45.465 --> 00:56:47.626
But I do want to remind everyone who's
00:56:47.666 --> 00:56:48.407
listening or watching,
00:56:48.427 --> 00:56:49.708
whether you're watching live or you're
00:56:49.728 --> 00:56:52.289
watching the replay, wherever you are,
00:56:52.608 --> 00:56:54.429
YouTube, Facebook, LinkedIn,
00:56:54.608 --> 00:56:57.150
or any of the Apple, Spotify,
00:56:57.250 --> 00:56:58.650
any of where you listen,
00:56:59.550 --> 00:57:01.052
I want to remind you that you're a
00:57:01.092 --> 00:57:02.192
part of our community.
00:57:02.744 --> 00:57:04.367
And we want to hear from you.
00:57:04.547 --> 00:57:06.969
So please comment below if you're,
00:57:07.150 --> 00:57:08.711
if you missed the live conversation,
00:57:08.731 --> 00:57:09.873
but you have some thoughts.
00:57:10.289 --> 00:57:13.211
We would love to hear from you because
00:57:13.271 --> 00:57:14.193
it is a shared diary.
00:57:14.213 --> 00:57:16.414
We're opening up our diary and we would
00:57:16.434 --> 00:57:17.775
love for you to open up yours as
00:57:17.815 --> 00:57:18.195
well.
00:57:18.835 --> 00:57:21.757
And I also want to mention that we
00:57:21.797 --> 00:57:24.179
do have some resources on
00:57:24.500 --> 00:57:26.481
shareddiarypodcast.com.
00:57:26.842 --> 00:57:30.224
There is an episode guide for every single
00:57:30.284 --> 00:57:31.125
episode we've done.
00:57:31.244 --> 00:57:32.626
This is episode number thirteen,
00:57:32.646 --> 00:57:35.608
which is really hard to think about.
00:57:36.447 --> 00:57:38.389
And we'll be launching season two soon.
00:57:38.550 --> 00:57:40.010
So stay tuned for that.
00:57:40.291 --> 00:57:41.536
But you can go there and you can
00:57:41.576 --> 00:57:43.320
get that episode guide,
00:57:43.340 --> 00:57:44.945
that reflection guide somewhere where you
00:57:44.965 --> 00:57:46.992
can add your thoughts to yourself.
00:57:47.552 --> 00:57:49.413
answer questions and dig a little deeper
00:57:49.492 --> 00:57:50.873
on the topic we're talking about.
00:57:51.454 --> 00:57:54.795
I've seen these episode guides and they
00:57:54.855 --> 00:57:56.376
are really hitting home for me.
00:57:56.436 --> 00:57:57.695
It's like, oh, wow.
00:57:57.836 --> 00:57:59.016
OK, I need to think about that.
00:57:59.456 --> 00:58:02.277
So definitely dive into the website and
00:58:02.298 --> 00:58:03.418
get connected that way.
00:58:04.298 --> 00:58:05.780
And then, of course, if you're on YouTube,
00:58:05.800 --> 00:58:07.561
we would love a like and follow and
00:58:07.581 --> 00:58:09.581
subscribe and all of that just because
00:58:09.621 --> 00:58:11.722
we're building our community here.
00:58:12.202 --> 00:58:13.422
And we'd love for you to be a
00:58:13.463 --> 00:58:15.423
part and get those notifications so you
00:58:15.443 --> 00:58:16.585
don't miss a conversation.
00:58:17.565 --> 00:58:20.166
But we have every week we have a
00:58:20.186 --> 00:58:21.686
couple of questions that we ask.
00:58:21.885 --> 00:58:23.945
And this is something where you can grab
00:58:23.985 --> 00:58:26.487
your diary and you can answer these
00:58:26.586 --> 00:58:27.186
questions.
00:58:27.266 --> 00:58:29.527
They're really great to reflect on.
00:58:29.967 --> 00:58:32.307
And that is what's bringing you joy right
00:58:32.347 --> 00:58:32.608
now?
00:58:33.367 --> 00:58:35.208
What's challenging you right now?
00:58:35.809 --> 00:58:37.728
What's inspiring you right now?
00:58:38.248 --> 00:58:40.409
And then what's one thing you're grateful
00:58:40.469 --> 00:58:41.530
for this week?
00:58:41.971 --> 00:58:44.291
And the bonus question for the week is
00:58:44.391 --> 00:58:46.313
who is someone you've met through
00:58:46.353 --> 00:58:48.594
community that you're really grateful came
00:58:48.614 --> 00:58:49.295
into your life.
00:58:49.315 --> 00:58:50.175
So think about that.
00:58:50.215 --> 00:58:50.856
Be grateful.
00:58:50.996 --> 00:58:54.358
And and so, Debbie, I would love it.
00:58:54.458 --> 00:58:55.960
We always have this final question where
00:58:55.980 --> 00:58:57.701
we say, you know,
00:58:57.900 --> 00:59:01.402
what's your diary entry for this week?
00:59:01.463 --> 00:59:04.025
So what is your diary entry for this
00:59:04.045 --> 00:59:04.224
week?
00:59:04.244 --> 00:59:06.246
If you wrote one sentence at the bottom
00:59:06.286 --> 00:59:07.786
of today's diary, what would it say?
00:59:08.882 --> 00:59:11.264
I am so grateful that I said yes
00:59:11.304 --> 00:59:12.364
to building community.
00:59:12.844 --> 00:59:15.664
I'm so grateful that this is something
00:59:15.704 --> 00:59:18.065
that fills my cup up and that I
00:59:18.824 --> 00:59:22.065
can really find pride in.
00:59:22.206 --> 00:59:22.865
I love that.
00:59:23.226 --> 00:59:23.686
I love that.
00:59:23.806 --> 00:59:27.927
I think I will mirror that in some
00:59:27.947 --> 00:59:29.047
ways and say,
00:59:30.367 --> 00:59:34.248
I am so grateful that I did the
00:59:34.288 --> 00:59:35.628
thing that I was scared of.
00:59:35.648 --> 00:59:35.728
Wow.
00:59:37.253 --> 00:59:40.353
And that was being visible and putting
00:59:40.373 --> 00:59:41.153
yourself out there.
00:59:41.173 --> 00:59:43.675
It's a risk, but it's so worth it.
00:59:43.775 --> 00:59:45.375
And now I look back in my life.
00:59:47.016 --> 00:59:47.856
I've said this before.
00:59:47.896 --> 00:59:49.717
The Be Awesome Network is one of those
00:59:50.197 --> 00:59:52.317
key points in my life where I can
00:59:52.376 --> 00:59:55.297
say a before and an after.
00:59:56.097 --> 00:59:57.199
Who is Lori before?
00:59:57.559 --> 00:59:58.338
Who is Lori now?
00:59:59.018 --> 01:00:00.440
And I'm so grateful for that.
01:00:00.460 --> 01:00:02.021
I'm grateful for all of the Be Awesome
01:00:02.041 --> 01:00:04.742
Network community and family and Debbie,
01:00:04.842 --> 01:00:06.063
your community as well,
01:00:06.083 --> 01:00:08.065
because this this will be showing at in
01:00:08.105 --> 01:00:09.146
both of our communities.
01:00:09.806 --> 01:00:11.666
And we're thankful for you listening and
01:00:11.706 --> 01:00:13.327
watching and being a part.
01:00:13.387 --> 01:00:16.510
So please come back next week at two
01:00:16.530 --> 01:00:16.811
p.m.
01:00:16.891 --> 01:00:20.012
Eastern and join us because we all know
01:00:20.072 --> 01:00:22.494
that the life life is better when the
01:00:22.534 --> 01:00:23.454
diary is open.
01:00:24.590 --> 01:00:26.791
Before we close today's diary,
01:00:27.112 --> 01:00:28.192
we just want to say thank you.
01:00:28.692 --> 01:00:30.293
Thank you for spending your time with us,
01:00:30.592 --> 01:00:32.114
for listening, for reflecting,
01:00:32.213 --> 01:00:33.974
and for being willing to open your heart
01:00:34.034 --> 01:00:34.815
along with ours.
01:00:35.235 --> 01:00:36.954
It truly means more than you know.
01:00:37.436 --> 01:00:39.396
The shared diary isn't just our story,
01:00:39.436 --> 01:00:40.197
it's yours too.
01:00:40.597 --> 01:00:42.356
If today's conversation encouraged you,
01:00:42.436 --> 01:00:43.077
challenged you,
01:00:43.277 --> 01:00:44.858
or reminded you that you're not alone,
01:00:45.237 --> 01:00:46.739
we'd love for you to stay connected.
01:00:47.298 --> 01:00:50.221
You can find us at shareddiarypodcast.com
01:00:50.260 --> 01:00:52.101
where you'll discover episode archives,
01:00:52.161 --> 01:00:52.902
resources,
01:00:52.961 --> 01:00:54.603
and ways to connect with our community.
01:00:55.182 --> 01:00:56.724
If you'd like to reach out to Lori,
01:00:56.744 --> 01:00:57.824
Debbie, or Nicole,
01:00:58.204 --> 01:00:59.865
you'll find all of our information there
01:00:59.885 --> 01:01:00.266
as well.
01:01:00.766 --> 01:01:02.086
We'd love to hear your story.
01:01:02.717 --> 01:01:04.739
If you're watching on YouTube, Facebook,
01:01:04.938 --> 01:01:05.759
or LinkedIn,
01:01:05.818 --> 01:01:07.681
don't forget to like this episode,
01:01:07.760 --> 01:01:09.661
leave us a comment and subscribe so you
01:01:09.742 --> 01:01:11.003
never miss a conversation.
01:01:11.563 --> 01:01:13.284
And if you're listening on Apple Podcasts,
01:01:13.304 --> 01:01:15.585
Spotify, or wherever you enjoy podcasts,
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be sure to follow the show,
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leave a rating and share it with someone
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who might need to hear today's message.
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Most importantly, keep showing up,
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keep growing,
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keep sharing your story because life is
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better when the diary is open.
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We're here for you.
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You're not alone.
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We'll see you next time on The Share
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Diary.