Why Do I Keep Talking Myself Out of the Life I Want?

WEBVTT
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Welcome back to The Shared Diary.
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This is the space where the private
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becomes public and the stories we usually
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keep to ourselves finally find a home.
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I'm Lori.
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I'm Debbie.
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And I'm Nicole.
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We are three women with no secrets,
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just life.
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Because life is always better when the
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diary is open.
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So grab a seat, lean in,
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and let's get into today's entry.
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Well, hello everyone.
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Hello.
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It's Nicole and I this week.
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One more time as Debbie is spending time
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with her family and we're so happy for
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her.
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She's at the lake.
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She's just enjoying everything that she
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can.
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So this is the shared diary.
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We are on episode seven and we're going
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to talk today about why do I keep
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talking myself out of the life I want?
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I don't know about you, Nicole,
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but I've totally been there.
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A hundred percent, a hundred percent.
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I, you know,
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there's so many things that pass through
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your mind over time as you change and
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as you evolve and all of those things.
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And you can get,
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or at least I can get very excited
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about certain things and,
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and have this like, ah,
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I can't wait to do it.
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And within minutes I can hear myself
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saying, are you crazy?
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Like, how is that ever going to work?
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You know, all of those things.
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So how about you, Lori,
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when that topic came up for you,
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what did you think?
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Well,
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it's interesting because I'm kind of in
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the middle of that process right now.
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Like,
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I've made some pretty bold choices and
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decisions, and I'm, like,
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getting into that,
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I guess –
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the logistics of it all.
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Cause you like, you,
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you make this plan and you dream this
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dream and then you actually go and try
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to do it and you're talking yourself out
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of it.
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So there's like a wave of emotions that
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goes along with this.
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And so that's why I thought this topic
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was perfect for today.
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So yeah,
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Thank you guys for joining us.
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If you're joining us on YouTube or
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LinkedIn or Facebook,
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please drop a comment below.
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Tell us where you're joining us from.
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And we want to hear your thoughts on
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this topic.
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The topic is why do I keep talking
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myself out of the life I want?
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So Nicole,
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our content master has come up with the
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questions for this week.
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But I'm going to read a little diary
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entry.
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I thought this was really, really timely.
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So it says, Dear Diary,
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today I almost said yes.
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I wanted to.
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Everything in me wanted to.
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For a few minutes,
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I could actually picture myself doing it.
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I got excited.
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I thought, maybe this is it.
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Then almost as quickly,
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I started talking myself out of it.
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Can I really afford it?
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What if it doesn't work?
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What if I'm just wasting my money?
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What if everyone realizes I'm not as
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capable as they think I am?
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So I said no again.
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And now I'm sitting here wondering,
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am I ever actually going to do the
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things I dream about?
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Or is my life always going to look
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like this?
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So with that,
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I just thought that is so, so timely.
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And this is a shared diary.
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This is a conversation we're welcoming you
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into with us.
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We're sharing our diaries and we would
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love for you to share our share yours.
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It's time to get real.
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It's time to get vulnerable and it's time
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to get into the discussion.
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So this is the shared diary because life
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is better when the diary is open.
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All right.
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So with that, the first question, Nicole,
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have you ever wanted something so badly
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and then found yourself listening,
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listing every reason you shouldn't do it?
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Oh, yes.
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Yeah.
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So many times.
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I think it really, really showed up.
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Actually, it started showing up even,
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I think, during my marriage even.
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I would be thinking of things I wanted
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to do.
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And then I kept thinking, oh,
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that would mean this person wouldn't be
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able to do this.
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That would mean that I'd be taken away
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from somebody else.
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Can I invest that in myself?
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Um,
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there was so many questions and I think
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that started that for sure.
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I don't think I started doing a lot
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of that until I was in that place
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when I was married, but I remember it.
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I remember having these like inspirations
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coming to me of things I would love
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to do.
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And, um,
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and then I would talk myself right out
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of it.
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Um,
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my stories became so much stronger than,
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than the dream.
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And, um,
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One thing I remember was I used to
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dance really competitively and I remember
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thinking I wanted to go further in it.
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And I'd gone down to Los Angeles to
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dance for a little while at some point.
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And I kept thinking about what would it
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be like to go to the auditions that
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I wanted to go to and do the
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things I would like to do.
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And then I got so scared, so scared.
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Like I just was like, I can't,
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I can't even,
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Like, I kept thinking about, sorry,
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there's noise in my background.
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I don't know if you can hear the
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noise.
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You can't.
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Because I'm like, I can.
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It's distracting me.
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But I kept thinking of, like,
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am I capable enough to do this?
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How much is it going to take for
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me to do this?
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Is it, you know...
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Do I have the skills for it?
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Will I burn myself out trying to do
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this?
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All the scenarios in my head.
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And so I remember saying to myself, no,
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like that was it's it was a dream.
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And then it's like, come on, Nicole.
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And the one word I think comes up
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with me and lots of with my clients
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is the word logical.
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be logical about this and i don't know
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about you and that word but for me
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oh my gosh that word i hear that
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word a lot be logical but a lot
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of times behind the logical is fear
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a fear of doing things the exact same
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way we've always done it, right?
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Just do it the same way.
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You know it already.
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Don't even go any further than that.
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So that was something I remember being
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like,
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I don't want to do that to myself
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again.
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I remember doing it and never knowing what
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was possible for me.
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And I kept thinking this time when I
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do something this time,
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I don't want to talk myself out of
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it.
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I want to see what is possible because
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when I talked myself out of it,
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it didn't feel good inside.
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It felt like I will never know.
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I will never know.
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And I didn't love that feeling.
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How about for you, Lori?
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How does that showed up for you?
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And has there been a time that you
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remember talking yourself out of what you
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would love?
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absolutely i love that you brought up
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logic because that's what we do we we
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definitely kind of think about we
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overthink right and sometimes we put it
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into the category of logic or um you
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know being reasonable right and so dreams
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and reason don't really go hand in hand
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it's like oil and water
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So I've been kind of doing this basically
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for a year and a half, honestly.
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I remember last January thinking,
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I want to make a bold move,
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but will it work?
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And so I'm living this.
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Like I said at the beginning,
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I feel like I'm living this now.
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result of waiting and waiting and waiting,
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and then finally kind of taking the leap.
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And it feels really good, but it's scary.
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Like you said, what stops us is fear.
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And that's just the facts, right?
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So I love this question.
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I love the fact that we're talking about
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this.
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I love the fact that we've already got
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some comments.
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So hello, Craig.
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Hello, Lonnie.
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Hello, Debbie.
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We miss you.
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It's so great to have you all and
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everyone else who hasn't commented.
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So it's super fun to have you.
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Go ahead and drop in the comments where
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you're coming from.
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Are you coming from LinkedIn or YouTube or
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Facebook?
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I think it's amazing that we can do
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this, right?
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Technology is wonderful.
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And this is a podcast,
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but it's also a conversation.
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So we're inviting you into this
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conversation.
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So if we're asking questions,
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go ahead and put your thoughts in the
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comments.
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We love that.
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We've actually had some really key,
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wonderful,
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kind of epic times where we hear something
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from you and it sparks something in us.
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So we welcome that for sure.
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So I think the anchor quote for today
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is pretty cool.
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It's sometimes the biggest thing standing
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between us
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and the life we want is the conversation
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happening inside our own head and that's
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exactly what we just talked about nicole
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and the conversations that you were having
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with yourself conversations i was having
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myself so it's it's uh it's a big
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issue and it's a big topic so let's
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just keep diving in um i'm wondering what
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are some of the most common stories we
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tell ourselves so
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Nicole,
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I know you just talked about stories.
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One of the most common story I think
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I tell myself is that it won't work.
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And so like,
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I'm already setting myself up for failure.
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What about you?
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What are some of the most common stories
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you tell yourself?
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well for sure that one too like for
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sure you know it won't work but also
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like how how can i make this work
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i say how to myself all the time
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it's like i need to know the how
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before i even take a chance in something
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i need to know like the path i'm
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going to take and who's going to be
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part of it and and and i kind
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of want to you know almost have that
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fortune teller telling me that the end is
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going to be a hundred percent great and
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everything's going to be okay
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And so the story,
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that's like one is the how.
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And then also, you know, it comes even,
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it goes even deeper than that.
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Lots of times it comes down to behind
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the how or it won't work is that,
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Do I believe that what I want to
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do means enough to people out there if
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it's something I'm wanting to put out
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there?
00:10:35.648 --> 00:10:38.470
Or will people understand me or will they
00:10:38.529 --> 00:10:39.269
judge me?
00:10:39.510 --> 00:10:40.270
Or, you know,
00:10:40.870 --> 00:10:44.232
wonder if I fail and I've invested my
00:10:44.312 --> 00:10:45.774
time and my money.
00:10:46.754 --> 00:10:48.456
And then it comes down a lot of
00:10:48.475 --> 00:10:49.635
times even like my children.
00:10:49.655 --> 00:10:50.476
I think about them,
00:10:50.517 --> 00:10:52.197
like what is the example I'm setting for
00:10:52.238 --> 00:10:52.477
them?
00:10:53.057 --> 00:10:54.900
there's so many stories and once you start
00:10:54.961 --> 00:10:57.426
on one it often just finds so many
00:10:57.466 --> 00:10:59.889
of them um so that is something that
00:10:59.929 --> 00:11:01.852
has happened and i believe the chatter in
00:11:01.893 --> 00:11:03.956
our head is the thing that stops us
00:11:03.996 --> 00:11:05.779
the most because lots of things we tell
00:11:05.879 --> 00:11:06.400
ourselves
00:11:07.462 --> 00:11:09.485
aren't necessarily true, you know,
00:11:09.705 --> 00:11:11.466
many times they're not true yet.
00:11:11.648 --> 00:11:13.769
We, you know, say,
00:11:13.789 --> 00:11:16.011
say them as almost our truth.
00:11:16.712 --> 00:11:17.833
And if we say them enough,
00:11:17.894 --> 00:11:20.135
we can talk ourselves right out of it
00:11:20.356 --> 00:11:23.519
and safety becomes more important than the
00:11:23.559 --> 00:11:24.221
creation.
00:11:24.561 --> 00:11:26.003
And, um, and for me,
00:11:26.722 --> 00:11:28.183
I've been learning to walk through that,
00:11:28.224 --> 00:11:29.164
what that looks like.
00:11:29.445 --> 00:11:30.806
So how about for you, Lori?
00:11:30.826 --> 00:11:31.785
Are there more stories?
00:11:31.806 --> 00:11:33.126
As I was sharing them, I'm like, oh,
00:11:33.206 --> 00:11:34.008
there's so many.
00:11:34.347 --> 00:11:34.548
Actually,
00:11:34.567 --> 00:11:35.489
I just want to say like at the
00:11:35.509 --> 00:11:37.269
beginning when you were doing that diary
00:11:37.409 --> 00:11:40.011
entry and you were saying the diary entry,
00:11:40.611 --> 00:11:42.993
I can picture a woman or a man
00:11:43.113 --> 00:11:44.855
in their head going to bed at night
00:11:45.815 --> 00:11:48.176
and it's so much heavier right it's not
00:11:48.255 --> 00:11:50.035
just what they want to do it's more
00:11:50.076 --> 00:11:52.716
about like who they are and can i
00:11:52.797 --> 00:11:55.177
live greater than what i have been telling
00:11:55.238 --> 00:11:57.477
myself and will i only ever live like
00:11:57.498 --> 00:11:59.259
this and will i only ever do this
00:11:59.739 --> 00:12:03.179
it's so heavy and um so i i
00:12:03.240 --> 00:12:04.480
i really resonated with when you were
00:12:04.519 --> 00:12:06.100
talking about that because at night those
00:12:06.140 --> 00:12:08.520
are often the times where we we think
00:12:08.541 --> 00:12:11.922
about those things and and so yes and
00:12:11.961 --> 00:12:13.202
for how about for you lori any more
00:12:13.243 --> 00:12:13.982
stories for you
00:12:15.136 --> 00:12:15.496
Yeah, well,
00:12:15.618 --> 00:12:19.022
when you were talking about fear and the
00:12:19.062 --> 00:12:22.144
things that we think of most often don't
00:12:22.205 --> 00:12:22.586
happen,
00:12:22.686 --> 00:12:24.408
I think there's a percentage that goes
00:12:24.427 --> 00:12:24.849
with that.
00:12:24.908 --> 00:12:26.571
Like we come up with all of these
00:12:27.010 --> 00:12:28.552
fears about how we're going to fail or
00:12:28.572 --> 00:12:29.453
what's going to happen.
00:12:29.793 --> 00:12:31.275
And I think it's like ninety nine percent
00:12:31.296 --> 00:12:33.238
of the things that we actually dream up
00:12:33.278 --> 00:12:34.960
and think about and resonate with and
00:12:34.980 --> 00:12:35.181
like.
00:12:35.480 --> 00:12:37.121
keep playing in our heads, the stories,
00:12:37.461 --> 00:12:38.182
they don't happen.
00:12:38.542 --> 00:12:42.144
So I think I've learned over time to
00:12:42.183 --> 00:12:46.664
kind of shut those stories down and try
00:12:46.784 --> 00:12:48.586
to move forward.
00:12:48.625 --> 00:12:51.187
And movement for me has always been a
00:12:51.226 --> 00:12:52.668
way out of the stories,
00:12:52.707 --> 00:12:53.248
whether it's
00:12:53.947 --> 00:12:56.090
you know sitting in a place and i
00:12:56.110 --> 00:12:58.211
need to get up and walk around or
00:12:58.230 --> 00:13:01.373
uh you know actually going and exercising
00:13:01.413 --> 00:13:03.855
doing my yoga things like that those those
00:13:03.955 --> 00:13:07.116
stories of fear that say because you do
00:13:07.157 --> 00:13:08.817
you kind of create a story that says
00:13:08.857 --> 00:13:10.418
well this is going to happen then this
00:13:10.479 --> 00:13:11.659
is going to happen then this is going
00:13:11.679 --> 00:13:14.162
to happen and it's like a downward spiral
00:13:14.802 --> 00:13:18.284
And I always like to change those downward
00:13:18.424 --> 00:13:21.927
spirals into upward spirals and start to
00:13:21.967 --> 00:13:22.908
say the opposite.
00:13:23.028 --> 00:13:24.090
No, it will work.
00:13:24.129 --> 00:13:25.370
What if it does work out?
00:13:25.410 --> 00:13:26.611
What if it does?
00:13:26.772 --> 00:13:28.253
What if it is the right step for
00:13:28.293 --> 00:13:28.533
me?
00:13:29.153 --> 00:13:31.676
And I think the biggest story in my
00:13:31.735 --> 00:13:34.899
past has been security.
00:13:35.198 --> 00:13:37.480
So whatever it is that I'm clinging on
00:13:37.541 --> 00:13:37.801
to,
00:13:37.860 --> 00:13:38.322
like the
00:13:38.981 --> 00:13:43.225
the norm or the secure job or the
00:13:43.265 --> 00:13:44.486
secure relationship,
00:13:44.586 --> 00:13:46.308
even if it's not a good one,
00:13:47.110 --> 00:13:48.150
change is hard.
00:13:48.490 --> 00:13:49.351
So for me,
00:13:49.432 --> 00:13:52.695
I think the security part of it was
00:13:52.875 --> 00:13:54.777
really what was holding me back.
00:13:55.057 --> 00:13:57.519
And so now I'm just kind of trying
00:13:57.578 --> 00:13:57.820
to
00:13:58.639 --> 00:14:00.801
live in a new way since I started
00:14:00.821 --> 00:14:03.101
the Be Awesome Network and make some bold
00:14:03.142 --> 00:14:03.761
choices,
00:14:03.802 --> 00:14:07.322
some bold decisions and follow that path.
00:14:07.663 --> 00:14:09.163
And then when you follow that path,
00:14:09.224 --> 00:14:10.384
more doors open.
00:14:11.105 --> 00:14:13.105
It's like you only see so much of
00:14:13.144 --> 00:14:13.785
the path,
00:14:14.186 --> 00:14:18.586
but then you push a branch out from
00:14:18.746 --> 00:14:21.388
your view and here comes a wide open
00:14:21.427 --> 00:14:23.708
field or something beautiful, right?
00:14:23.788 --> 00:14:25.710
I'd like to think of it in terms
00:14:25.769 --> 00:14:26.190
of that.
00:14:26.610 --> 00:14:29.191
so that I can actually visualize and walk
00:14:29.230 --> 00:14:31.671
in that direction without fear,
00:14:31.691 --> 00:14:35.572
because what's actually in the future for
00:14:35.611 --> 00:14:36.972
me is beauty, right?
00:14:37.352 --> 00:14:39.913
So I thank you for that.
00:14:40.014 --> 00:14:41.533
I think that, you know,
00:14:41.734 --> 00:14:44.335
we're both at the stage in our life
00:14:44.375 --> 00:14:47.054
right now where we're pushing through
00:14:47.095 --> 00:14:49.196
those boundaries and
00:14:49.755 --> 00:14:52.197
branching out in ways that we haven't done
00:14:52.576 --> 00:14:53.277
in the past.
00:14:53.476 --> 00:14:54.918
And to me, it's exciting.
00:14:54.957 --> 00:14:57.519
And I love what Craig said,
00:14:57.658 --> 00:14:59.639
I think a few minutes ago,
00:15:00.139 --> 00:15:02.740
like running track in the starter gate,
00:15:02.760 --> 00:15:05.360
you're nervous until the gun goes off.
00:15:05.520 --> 00:15:07.822
And then it's excitement that energizes
00:15:07.861 --> 00:15:08.142
you.
00:15:08.241 --> 00:15:08.863
I love that.
00:15:09.003 --> 00:15:10.643
Yeah, I totally agree.
00:15:11.683 --> 00:15:13.443
And so hello, Haley.
00:15:13.803 --> 00:15:14.465
Hello, Craig.
00:15:14.504 --> 00:15:15.625
Thank you for doing that.
00:15:15.644 --> 00:15:15.725
He
00:15:18.745 --> 00:15:19.125
I love it.
00:15:19.546 --> 00:15:21.246
Oh, goodness.
00:15:21.307 --> 00:15:21.606
Well,
00:15:21.726 --> 00:15:24.288
and so to continue this conversation,
00:15:24.567 --> 00:15:29.210
I think I think it's important to look
00:15:29.269 --> 00:15:30.831
back, but also look forward.
00:15:31.071 --> 00:15:35.113
So when you looked back, you know,
00:15:35.133 --> 00:15:36.413
you talked about some of the things that
00:15:36.432 --> 00:15:37.354
you might have been afraid of.
00:15:37.793 --> 00:15:39.514
Have you ever looked back and realized the
00:15:39.553 --> 00:15:42.134
thing that you were afraid of never
00:15:42.255 --> 00:15:43.096
actually happened?
00:15:45.936 --> 00:15:49.451
Yeah, like many times, many times.
00:15:51.013 --> 00:15:53.514
And I think that happens all the time.
00:15:55.375 --> 00:15:57.336
There's been so many times where I've been
00:15:57.416 --> 00:15:59.956
nervous about my next steps in this
00:15:59.996 --> 00:16:02.219
business and what I was going to do
00:16:02.538 --> 00:16:07.841
and the things that I had feared never
00:16:07.921 --> 00:16:09.282
necessarily, in fact,
00:16:09.302 --> 00:16:11.903
they pretty much have never fully
00:16:12.003 --> 00:16:13.884
materialized the way I put it in my
00:16:13.943 --> 00:16:15.605
head, like what would happen to me.
00:16:17.105 --> 00:16:19.106
And what I realized too is that
00:16:19.866 --> 00:16:22.207
I think it's the first step,
00:16:22.248 --> 00:16:23.888
like taking that first step is the
00:16:23.927 --> 00:16:24.808
courageous step.
00:16:24.849 --> 00:16:26.448
Like you need that courage, right?
00:16:26.469 --> 00:16:29.049
I feel it's like that courage to take
00:16:29.110 --> 00:16:30.049
that first step.
00:16:30.090 --> 00:16:32.110
But what that first step does for me
00:16:32.211 --> 00:16:35.152
every time is it creates evidence of what
00:16:35.192 --> 00:16:35.971
is possible.
00:16:36.172 --> 00:16:38.452
And what I notice is that when I
00:16:38.493 --> 00:16:40.933
take that first step, my potential moves.
00:16:41.494 --> 00:16:42.615
And then it moves again.
00:16:42.815 --> 00:16:44.195
And every single time I take a step,
00:16:44.215 --> 00:16:45.456
I'm like, Oh, I can do this.
00:16:45.495 --> 00:16:46.576
And now I can do this.
00:16:46.775 --> 00:16:46.916
And,
00:16:47.496 --> 00:16:49.937
and so I don't think that we get
00:16:49.998 --> 00:16:51.738
confidence just from, you know,
00:16:51.898 --> 00:16:54.259
saying I'm confident or talking about
00:16:54.318 --> 00:16:55.840
being confident, it's the,
00:16:55.919 --> 00:16:57.240
it's taking the action,
00:16:57.441 --> 00:16:59.741
and then actually looking at the evidence
00:16:59.761 --> 00:17:00.442
you're building.
00:17:00.522 --> 00:17:02.702
And every time you have this evidence,
00:17:03.102 --> 00:17:04.903
it's like a bank that you're building up
00:17:04.963 --> 00:17:07.365
of what you can do.
00:17:07.565 --> 00:17:07.964
And so
00:17:08.885 --> 00:17:10.106
I, yes, you know,
00:17:10.326 --> 00:17:11.887
I think about these stories and whether
00:17:11.907 --> 00:17:12.548
they've come true.
00:17:12.709 --> 00:17:13.549
Most of the time, no,
00:17:14.150 --> 00:17:16.612
most of the time they have not yet.
00:17:16.791 --> 00:17:18.854
They've scared me a lot,
00:17:18.894 --> 00:17:20.476
but I've had to learn just like you
00:17:21.336 --> 00:17:24.159
is to be more excited about the vision
00:17:24.818 --> 00:17:25.500
than my fears.
00:17:25.519 --> 00:17:27.422
Like get really excited about my vision,
00:17:27.821 --> 00:17:30.064
get really excited about like my why,
00:17:30.104 --> 00:17:32.465
like getting really dialed into why I am
00:17:32.546 --> 00:17:33.426
doing this and
00:17:33.880 --> 00:17:34.460
I actually like,
00:17:34.500 --> 00:17:35.862
I have my why right beside,
00:17:35.882 --> 00:17:36.862
you can't see it right now,
00:17:36.882 --> 00:17:38.182
but it's right beside my computer.
00:17:38.423 --> 00:17:40.724
And it's a picture of the kids and
00:17:40.845 --> 00:17:40.944
I,
00:17:41.085 --> 00:17:42.646
and I look at it all the time
00:17:42.666 --> 00:17:44.548
before I'm about to do something that I
00:17:44.567 --> 00:17:45.689
have never done before,
00:17:45.729 --> 00:17:48.151
because I know what my body's doing.
00:17:48.211 --> 00:17:49.791
I know the fear that I'm feeling.
00:17:49.912 --> 00:17:51.153
And then I look at them and I'm
00:17:51.192 --> 00:17:51.393
like,
00:17:52.676 --> 00:17:53.017
Do it.
00:17:53.336 --> 00:17:54.198
Just do it.
00:17:54.397 --> 00:17:54.718
Right.
00:17:54.858 --> 00:17:57.140
And because I I really don't want to
00:17:57.180 --> 00:17:57.980
live with regrets.
00:17:58.260 --> 00:17:59.241
I really don't.
00:17:59.481 --> 00:18:02.483
And some things I need people to talk
00:18:02.544 --> 00:18:03.785
me into it to help me.
00:18:04.164 --> 00:18:06.266
I do need I do need that support
00:18:06.287 --> 00:18:07.426
system around me.
00:18:08.607 --> 00:18:11.529
But I really believe that every step we
00:18:11.569 --> 00:18:13.811
take, we learn every single step.
00:18:14.291 --> 00:18:15.492
we take, we learn.
00:18:15.792 --> 00:18:18.193
So, oh, and I wanted to thank like,
00:18:18.374 --> 00:18:18.815
oh my gosh,
00:18:18.835 --> 00:18:20.174
we're getting so many great comments
00:18:20.194 --> 00:18:20.935
coming in here.
00:18:20.976 --> 00:18:21.496
It's so great.
00:18:21.855 --> 00:18:23.136
Lonnie, Lonnie said,
00:18:23.436 --> 00:18:25.458
even before I knew how your conversation
00:18:25.518 --> 00:18:26.479
was going to go today,
00:18:26.898 --> 00:18:28.740
this was the topic of my morning
00:18:28.759 --> 00:18:30.760
meditation, the next step.
00:18:30.861 --> 00:18:33.202
Sometimes when we can't see the, we,
00:18:33.262 --> 00:18:34.963
we don't take the first step, right?
00:18:35.003 --> 00:18:35.183
You're,
00:18:35.903 --> 00:18:37.484
You get so nervous.
00:18:37.944 --> 00:18:39.286
You can't see the end or you can't
00:18:39.306 --> 00:18:40.007
see the vision.
00:18:40.047 --> 00:18:41.307
You don't take the next step.
00:18:41.587 --> 00:18:43.008
But if you don't take the next step,
00:18:43.048 --> 00:18:44.689
you never get to that vision, right?
00:18:44.709 --> 00:18:46.691
The vision is there calling you and you
00:18:46.730 --> 00:18:47.471
never get there.
00:18:48.571 --> 00:18:49.872
And so I love that, Lonnie.
00:18:49.932 --> 00:18:51.093
And hello, Jenny.
00:18:51.653 --> 00:18:54.115
And oh, and Lonnie put courage, action,
00:18:54.315 --> 00:18:55.756
evidence, confidence.
00:18:55.996 --> 00:18:56.635
I love that.
00:18:56.655 --> 00:18:57.977
Thank you for putting that into a
00:18:58.096 --> 00:18:59.817
framework for us.
00:18:59.978 --> 00:19:02.519
Courage, action, evidence, and confidence.
00:19:02.680 --> 00:19:03.920
And isn't that great though?
00:19:03.980 --> 00:19:05.621
You know, I, I love that.
00:19:05.661 --> 00:19:06.481
Thank you, Lonnie.
00:19:06.682 --> 00:19:08.482
And Jenny is here as well.
00:19:09.002 --> 00:19:10.864
Action definitely gets you clarity.
00:19:11.325 --> 00:19:11.865
Beautiful.
00:19:12.424 --> 00:19:13.185
Jenny is the, the,
00:19:14.506 --> 00:19:16.467
amazing at helping you find clarity.
00:19:16.507 --> 00:19:18.147
And she said that definitely helps you
00:19:18.167 --> 00:19:19.909
bring clarity and clarity leads to
00:19:19.949 --> 00:19:20.429
confidence.
00:19:20.489 --> 00:19:21.048
Absolutely.
00:19:21.930 --> 00:19:22.690
So beautiful.
00:19:22.730 --> 00:19:24.631
Thank you so much for everybody who is
00:19:24.730 --> 00:19:26.332
chiming in, who is chiming in.
00:19:26.352 --> 00:19:26.711
Thank you.
00:19:26.751 --> 00:19:28.432
We appreciate you being here with us.
00:19:28.472 --> 00:19:29.993
It's so fun to have you here.
00:19:30.013 --> 00:19:31.673
So thank you, Lori.
00:19:31.854 --> 00:19:32.714
How about you?
00:19:33.234 --> 00:19:34.855
What are your thoughts on this?
00:19:36.296 --> 00:19:37.717
I was just reading the comments as you
00:19:37.737 --> 00:19:38.856
were talking too.
00:19:39.017 --> 00:19:41.117
And so I love the fact that,
00:19:41.817 --> 00:19:42.137
you know,
00:19:42.778 --> 00:19:45.699
let's just take the Shared Diary podcast
00:19:45.939 --> 00:19:46.999
as an example.
00:19:47.798 --> 00:19:51.160
You and I and Debbie were deciding to
00:19:51.220 --> 00:19:51.881
have, you know,
00:19:52.060 --> 00:19:54.520
kind of candid conversations in our
00:19:54.560 --> 00:19:55.241
networks.
00:19:55.801 --> 00:19:57.761
And we decided on Friday and we started
00:19:57.781 --> 00:19:59.383
having these conversations.
00:19:59.563 --> 00:20:02.624
And as we were live broadcasting into our
00:20:02.663 --> 00:20:03.963
Facebook networks,
00:20:04.044 --> 00:20:04.084
we
00:20:05.018 --> 00:20:07.280
something started to bubble up and I don't
00:20:07.300 --> 00:20:09.584
even know whose idea it was first.
00:20:12.087 --> 00:20:12.288
Yeah.
00:20:12.387 --> 00:20:15.732
I remember we were live and you know,
00:20:16.113 --> 00:20:16.393
I said,
00:20:16.432 --> 00:20:18.076
we're thinking about turning this into a
00:20:18.115 --> 00:20:18.615
podcast.
00:20:18.676 --> 00:20:19.938
What do you guys think we should name
00:20:19.978 --> 00:20:20.077
it?
00:20:20.159 --> 00:20:20.479
You know?
00:20:20.519 --> 00:20:21.019
And we were like,
00:20:21.220 --> 00:20:23.122
kind of workshopping it live.
00:20:23.221 --> 00:20:24.682
And it was just so fun because there
00:20:24.702 --> 00:20:26.204
was live comments coming in.
00:20:26.744 --> 00:20:28.086
And to my knowledge,
00:20:28.146 --> 00:20:29.887
this is not something that happens
00:20:30.028 --> 00:20:32.089
anywhere else on a podcast that we
00:20:32.230 --> 00:20:34.373
actually get live comments and get to
00:20:34.432 --> 00:20:35.753
interact with our audience.
00:20:36.153 --> 00:20:37.276
So I just think that's really,
00:20:37.296 --> 00:20:37.955
really cool.
00:20:38.477 --> 00:20:40.939
And we've encouraged you guys every single
00:20:40.959 --> 00:20:43.201
week to come back to PM Eastern on
00:20:43.221 --> 00:20:44.402
Friday and
00:20:45.123 --> 00:20:46.324
Put your thoughts in the comments.
00:20:46.344 --> 00:20:48.003
So this is exactly what we want to
00:20:48.064 --> 00:20:49.424
happen and it's happening.
00:20:49.484 --> 00:20:50.744
So thank you guys.
00:20:50.765 --> 00:20:52.306
And I want to highlight Haley.
00:20:52.885 --> 00:20:53.547
She says,
00:20:53.727 --> 00:20:56.407
what if it isn't fear holding us back?
00:20:56.548 --> 00:20:58.969
What if we know our why and vision,
00:20:59.368 --> 00:21:01.670
but we're waiting for divine direction
00:21:01.849 --> 00:21:03.671
when it looks like fear?
00:21:04.590 --> 00:21:09.212
That's a great point because sometimes you
00:21:09.272 --> 00:21:11.534
do feel the fear, but you're waiting.
00:21:11.594 --> 00:21:14.476
So it's like the timing issue, right?
00:21:14.556 --> 00:21:15.895
I think when we were starting this
00:21:15.935 --> 00:21:16.457
podcast,
00:21:16.517 --> 00:21:18.337
it was three or four weeks before we
00:21:18.397 --> 00:21:20.578
even decided to just jump in and start
00:21:20.638 --> 00:21:20.739
it.
00:21:21.278 --> 00:21:22.398
And before that,
00:21:22.459 --> 00:21:24.299
it had been almost a year or a
00:21:24.339 --> 00:21:26.221
year and a half before when we had
00:21:26.260 --> 00:21:28.061
first met and started doing things
00:21:28.082 --> 00:21:28.501
together.
00:21:28.541 --> 00:21:31.263
So it was like a progress, a process.
00:21:31.304 --> 00:21:31.884
And there was just...
00:21:32.443 --> 00:21:34.164
little steps along the way.
00:21:34.224 --> 00:21:36.106
So that's a really great point, Haley,
00:21:36.186 --> 00:21:37.548
about waiting.
00:21:37.688 --> 00:21:39.528
You have to decide that for yourself,
00:21:39.669 --> 00:21:39.970
right?
00:21:40.150 --> 00:21:43.311
Am I acting out of fear or am
00:21:43.652 --> 00:21:46.314
I being smart about my next move?
00:21:46.354 --> 00:21:47.694
Because you don't want to just jump off
00:21:47.714 --> 00:21:48.135
a cliff.
00:21:49.237 --> 00:21:53.880
just because with no safety net but for
00:21:54.019 --> 00:21:56.642
me in my experience in the last two
00:21:56.662 --> 00:21:59.163
years it's it's been it's been something
00:21:59.183 --> 00:22:00.744
that I've been doing waiting waiting
00:22:00.785 --> 00:22:03.626
waiting so Haley thank you and now it's
00:22:03.646 --> 00:22:06.127
finally time and it just feels so good
00:22:06.169 --> 00:22:06.328
so
00:22:07.048 --> 00:22:07.249
All right.
00:22:07.269 --> 00:22:09.250
We're going to shift gears into our
00:22:09.430 --> 00:22:11.090
quickfire questions.
00:22:11.671 --> 00:22:14.031
Taking myself out of it.
00:22:14.412 --> 00:22:14.992
All right.
00:22:15.053 --> 00:22:17.173
So the first question,
00:22:17.354 --> 00:22:18.413
this is this or that.
00:22:18.733 --> 00:22:19.494
What's harder,
00:22:20.035 --> 00:22:22.556
starting or sticking with it?
00:22:22.615 --> 00:22:23.115
Wow.
00:22:23.276 --> 00:22:24.136
What do you think, Nicole?
00:22:25.054 --> 00:22:25.714
Oh my gosh.
00:22:25.875 --> 00:22:26.795
I think both are hard.
00:22:26.895 --> 00:22:27.256
Actually.
00:22:27.375 --> 00:22:28.336
I think, you know,
00:22:28.537 --> 00:22:30.117
I think starting is one of the hardest.
00:22:30.157 --> 00:22:31.519
I think I don't even know what there's
00:22:31.538 --> 00:22:33.861
a stat out there about just how hard
00:22:33.901 --> 00:22:35.402
it is for most people to start.
00:22:35.803 --> 00:22:35.982
Like,
00:22:36.022 --> 00:22:38.023
because the start is putting yourself out
00:22:38.064 --> 00:22:38.365
there.
00:22:38.484 --> 00:22:41.166
It is actually getting the things
00:22:41.307 --> 00:22:42.928
organized and being vulnerable.
00:22:42.948 --> 00:22:44.328
It's like your chest is wide open and
00:22:44.348 --> 00:22:46.030
you're like, here I go, here I go.
00:22:46.171 --> 00:22:47.531
I don't know how it's going to go.
00:22:47.652 --> 00:22:49.594
And that is a very vulnerable place to
00:22:49.653 --> 00:22:51.515
be from be at in,
00:22:51.894 --> 00:22:53.596
in your life is that place of,
00:22:53.936 --> 00:22:54.797
deep vulnerability.
00:22:54.836 --> 00:22:55.657
Like I'm trying,
00:22:55.758 --> 00:22:56.917
I'm putting myself out there.
00:22:56.958 --> 00:22:59.858
So I think starting for most people is
00:22:59.979 --> 00:23:01.519
one of the most challenging things because
00:23:01.638 --> 00:23:04.380
once you start, like you said earlier,
00:23:04.619 --> 00:23:07.080
Lori, once you start, you often go,
00:23:07.161 --> 00:23:08.182
that wasn't that bad.
00:23:08.442 --> 00:23:09.362
I thought it was going to be like
00:23:09.602 --> 00:23:10.561
so much worse.
00:23:10.622 --> 00:23:11.001
Right.
00:23:11.182 --> 00:23:11.303
And,
00:23:11.903 --> 00:23:13.942
and so I think the start can be
00:23:14.202 --> 00:23:15.364
one of the hardest things,
00:23:15.403 --> 00:23:17.625
but then the staying with it.
00:23:17.904 --> 00:23:19.765
And that's where I think we have to
00:23:19.904 --> 00:23:21.826
really watch what our limiting beliefs
00:23:21.885 --> 00:23:21.986
are.
00:23:22.921 --> 00:23:24.121
Because we will start things,
00:23:24.560 --> 00:23:26.622
and I've done it too, for sure,
00:23:26.701 --> 00:23:27.301
many times.
00:23:27.402 --> 00:23:28.221
As you start something,
00:23:28.241 --> 00:23:29.403
you're excited about it.
00:23:29.883 --> 00:23:32.002
You get some momentum going.
00:23:32.462 --> 00:23:35.284
And then you start hearing your chatter up
00:23:35.324 --> 00:23:37.404
in here again saying, oh,
00:23:37.444 --> 00:23:38.664
you can't keep up with this.
00:23:38.724 --> 00:23:40.404
Look at what they're doing out there.
00:23:40.605 --> 00:23:41.365
Oh, my gosh.
00:23:41.945 --> 00:23:43.306
You know, you may get a comment.
00:23:43.925 --> 00:23:46.468
on social media that just like takes you
00:23:46.528 --> 00:23:48.108
back and you're like, I can't do this.
00:23:48.189 --> 00:23:48.608
In fact,
00:23:48.749 --> 00:23:51.310
I remember when I was doing a brand
00:23:51.351 --> 00:23:52.092
new business, I was,
00:23:52.352 --> 00:23:54.012
I was in direct marketing.
00:23:54.032 --> 00:23:56.213
This was back in two thousand fifteen.
00:23:57.115 --> 00:24:00.336
And that was right after my separation and
00:24:00.416 --> 00:24:01.857
I was trying to build a business.
00:24:01.917 --> 00:24:03.979
And so my self-esteem was really small.
00:24:04.038 --> 00:24:06.020
Like I really didn't know anything.
00:24:06.861 --> 00:24:07.922
I was going to do what I needed
00:24:07.942 --> 00:24:08.201
to do.
00:24:08.242 --> 00:24:09.864
And I wasn't feeling super confident.
00:24:09.923 --> 00:24:11.945
And I really didn't have a lot of
00:24:11.965 --> 00:24:13.528
belief in myself at the time.
00:24:13.708 --> 00:24:15.509
And I remember I had to reach out
00:24:15.549 --> 00:24:16.130
to people, right?
00:24:16.150 --> 00:24:17.592
You had to actually reach out to people
00:24:17.632 --> 00:24:19.693
and say, this is what I'm doing now.
00:24:19.733 --> 00:24:20.634
This is what I'm selling.
00:24:20.654 --> 00:24:22.336
And would you love to, you know,
00:24:23.116 --> 00:24:25.098
purchase this product that I had?
00:24:25.259 --> 00:24:25.378
And
00:24:26.400 --> 00:24:27.859
And I remember I got a comment from
00:24:27.960 --> 00:24:31.101
somebody and it was really not a very
00:24:31.161 --> 00:24:34.761
nice comment and it hit me so hard.
00:24:34.902 --> 00:24:36.823
They sent an email that was very,
00:24:37.383 --> 00:24:40.702
very direct and it hit my heart like
00:24:40.742 --> 00:24:41.364
you wouldn't believe.
00:24:42.284 --> 00:24:44.044
It basically almost made me quit.
00:24:45.125 --> 00:24:46.105
And the thing is,
00:24:46.684 --> 00:24:49.105
I remember having support around me.
00:24:49.165 --> 00:24:50.605
So I did have people saying, oh,
00:24:50.645 --> 00:24:52.605
my gosh, that isn't true.
00:24:52.665 --> 00:24:53.626
Are you believing that?
00:24:53.846 --> 00:24:55.027
Are you actually taking that in?
00:24:55.446 --> 00:24:56.749
But if you're in a really kind of
00:24:56.868 --> 00:24:59.291
low place, those words can be like knives,
00:24:59.451 --> 00:24:59.692
right?
00:24:59.772 --> 00:25:00.393
Knives to you.
00:25:01.114 --> 00:25:03.897
But I think that's where the, you know,
00:25:03.938 --> 00:25:05.200
we're scared at the beginning to start,
00:25:05.220 --> 00:25:06.361
but then once you're in,
00:25:06.421 --> 00:25:08.423
you really have to work on the chatter.
00:25:08.463 --> 00:25:10.566
Like no matter what's coming at you,
00:25:11.564 --> 00:25:14.066
Can I keep telling myself the things I
00:25:14.205 --> 00:25:16.387
need in order to stay on that vision?
00:25:16.428 --> 00:25:17.648
Can I show up consistently?
00:25:18.589 --> 00:25:20.510
Can I believe in myself when somebody else
00:25:20.550 --> 00:25:21.432
doesn't believe in me?
00:25:22.032 --> 00:25:23.574
And that is a lot of work in
00:25:23.614 --> 00:25:24.114
there, right?
00:25:24.134 --> 00:25:26.336
But it's such important work because you
00:25:26.395 --> 00:25:27.376
are on your path.
00:25:27.576 --> 00:25:28.258
You have started.
00:25:28.357 --> 00:25:30.098
This is like, it's beautiful.
00:25:30.318 --> 00:25:32.161
It's a beautiful part of it.
00:25:32.221 --> 00:25:33.221
How about for you, Lori?
00:25:34.082 --> 00:25:35.923
Totally, totally agree.
00:25:36.042 --> 00:25:36.624
In fact,
00:25:37.263 --> 00:25:39.164
Craig says it's not the early bird that
00:25:39.204 --> 00:25:39.905
gets the worm.
00:25:39.965 --> 00:25:41.247
It's the persistent one.
00:25:41.767 --> 00:25:46.269
I also love your use of emojis, Craig.
00:25:46.309 --> 00:25:47.250
I'm a big emoji girl.
00:25:48.758 --> 00:25:50.198
And hello to Gina.
00:25:50.238 --> 00:25:51.739
Thank you for joining us.
00:25:51.838 --> 00:25:53.499
So glad you're here.
00:25:53.979 --> 00:25:54.398
So yeah,
00:25:54.459 --> 00:25:57.660
we are talking about a big topic today.
00:25:58.660 --> 00:26:02.300
And what's really landing with me is
00:26:02.922 --> 00:26:03.521
what's harder,
00:26:03.602 --> 00:26:05.261
starting or sticking with it?
00:26:05.402 --> 00:26:08.343
And the theme of today's episode is,
00:26:08.363 --> 00:26:09.242
if you're just joining us,
00:26:09.603 --> 00:26:11.384
why do I keep talking myself out of
00:26:11.423 --> 00:26:12.344
the life I want?
00:26:12.884 --> 00:26:15.384
This is a big one because we all
00:26:15.464 --> 00:26:18.125
live our lives and we all have dreams.
00:26:18.346 --> 00:26:20.807
And sometimes we just squash those dreams
00:26:20.866 --> 00:26:23.448
down or we put them off and procrastinate
00:26:23.468 --> 00:26:24.307
and procrastinate.
00:26:24.907 --> 00:26:27.288
And when we end up doing that,
00:26:27.388 --> 00:26:28.630
I feel like we kind of,
00:26:28.670 --> 00:26:29.509
or at least I do,
00:26:29.670 --> 00:26:32.951
guilt myself and kind of tell myself,
00:26:33.431 --> 00:26:36.872
you know, I wouldn't say loser, but,
00:26:36.932 --> 00:26:37.853
you know, you're just...
00:26:38.992 --> 00:26:40.433
Again, you're putting it off, Lori.
00:26:40.453 --> 00:26:41.315
Why are you putting it off?
00:26:41.335 --> 00:26:41.555
You know,
00:26:41.575 --> 00:26:44.517
this chatter that you said is inside our
00:26:44.537 --> 00:26:44.836
minds.
00:26:44.876 --> 00:26:45.936
And it's so true.
00:26:46.557 --> 00:26:49.499
So I think for me,
00:26:50.460 --> 00:26:53.241
I think what's harder is probably starting
00:26:53.602 --> 00:26:55.643
because I'm the type of person that when
00:26:55.682 --> 00:26:56.323
I start something,
00:26:56.423 --> 00:26:59.684
I go full in and I don't give
00:26:59.765 --> 00:26:59.904
up.
00:27:00.365 --> 00:27:02.287
And so if I come across,
00:27:02.326 --> 00:27:04.268
there's always those times where you're
00:27:04.288 --> 00:27:05.909
going to have discouragement, right?
00:27:05.929 --> 00:27:07.369
So if you start something new and you
00:27:07.410 --> 00:27:07.630
start...
00:27:08.049 --> 00:27:10.212
reaching out to people like you or Nicole,
00:27:10.633 --> 00:27:12.855
and just letting them know what you're
00:27:12.894 --> 00:27:13.336
doing.
00:27:13.855 --> 00:27:16.078
And someone might say, Oh, thanks,
00:27:16.098 --> 00:27:17.000
that's not for me.
00:27:17.079 --> 00:27:18.060
And it could be rude,
00:27:18.080 --> 00:27:18.922
it could be not rude,
00:27:18.942 --> 00:27:21.263
but the discouragement is going to be
00:27:21.324 --> 00:27:21.625
there.
00:27:21.924 --> 00:27:25.769
And so that's why the persistence and the
00:27:26.769 --> 00:27:28.971
you know, fortitude is so important.
00:27:29.090 --> 00:27:30.852
There's a book called Grit,
00:27:31.092 --> 00:27:33.314
like you have to have grit.
00:27:33.913 --> 00:27:36.055
And I think that's by Angela Duckworth.
00:27:36.075 --> 00:27:37.576
And it's so true.
00:27:37.935 --> 00:27:41.018
The people who succeed in life are not
00:27:41.117 --> 00:27:44.359
necessarily the most gifted people or the
00:27:44.400 --> 00:27:45.200
smartest.
00:27:45.840 --> 00:27:47.461
It's the ones who don't give up.
00:27:47.781 --> 00:27:49.603
And so that's who I want to be.
00:27:49.762 --> 00:27:51.083
I want to be someone who doesn't give
00:27:51.163 --> 00:27:51.304
up.
00:27:51.384 --> 00:27:52.564
And I'm not going to give up on
00:27:52.743 --> 00:27:53.444
myself.
00:27:54.224 --> 00:27:56.645
um i've i've done that for years and
00:27:56.665 --> 00:28:00.607
years and years previously and so this is
00:28:00.728 --> 00:28:02.127
a season in my life where i'm ready
00:28:02.188 --> 00:28:04.588
to just go just go go go and
00:28:04.608 --> 00:28:07.849
don't give up in a way that's not
00:28:07.890 --> 00:28:10.151
gonna run my body to the ground because
00:28:10.191 --> 00:28:12.071
we've all done we've all done that been
00:28:12.092 --> 00:28:15.053
there done that and so it's it's a
00:28:15.093 --> 00:28:17.233
balance just like everything else it's a
00:28:17.273 --> 00:28:20.755
balance right so we're gonna jump into the
00:28:20.875 --> 00:28:21.415
next
00:28:22.155 --> 00:28:25.579
question which is have you ever talked
00:28:26.099 --> 00:28:29.163
yourself out of something and later
00:28:29.242 --> 00:28:31.484
regretted it yes or no and then which
00:28:31.545 --> 00:28:34.127
is louder for you excitement or fear i
00:28:34.147 --> 00:28:35.869
think let's go to that one which is
00:28:36.009 --> 00:28:39.673
louder for you excitement or fear i think
00:28:39.713 --> 00:28:41.315
it depends for me what do you think
00:28:41.355 --> 00:28:41.655
nicole
00:28:42.836 --> 00:28:44.076
It for sure depends.
00:28:44.576 --> 00:28:46.136
I think, you know, when I get ideas,
00:28:46.237 --> 00:28:47.577
I'm always excited first.
00:28:47.617 --> 00:28:49.858
Like I get like I am because the
00:28:49.919 --> 00:28:53.660
idea came and I'm excited about the idea.
00:28:53.779 --> 00:28:55.780
And then often the fear will kick in.
00:28:56.221 --> 00:28:58.261
And I think the fear kicks in higher
00:28:58.301 --> 00:28:59.382
when the stakes are higher.
00:29:00.557 --> 00:29:02.480
So the more I'm going to have to
00:29:02.519 --> 00:29:03.520
invest in myself,
00:29:03.580 --> 00:29:07.022
the more that it may tax me financially,
00:29:07.063 --> 00:29:09.005
the more that it may take more of
00:29:09.045 --> 00:29:12.748
my time, the fear can be louder.
00:29:13.989 --> 00:29:16.671
And so I think it depends sometimes.
00:29:16.730 --> 00:29:19.693
But I know excitement for me usually...
00:29:21.549 --> 00:29:23.651
like even when I was thinking about what
00:29:23.691 --> 00:29:26.071
Haley was talking about before, you know,
00:29:26.172 --> 00:29:28.634
the divine timing and the,
00:29:29.693 --> 00:29:31.494
whether it's fear or not fear,
00:29:31.674 --> 00:29:33.375
I think what I use a lot for
00:29:33.415 --> 00:29:34.016
myself is,
00:29:34.036 --> 00:29:35.676
does it feel good in my heart?
00:29:36.157 --> 00:29:38.278
Like, is this something that I like,
00:29:39.150 --> 00:29:40.470
I would love if there,
00:29:40.490 --> 00:29:41.951
this is actually a good question for
00:29:41.971 --> 00:29:42.330
myself.
00:29:42.371 --> 00:29:44.471
Last time says if there was no fear,
00:29:44.892 --> 00:29:46.172
like if fear wasn't holding me back,
00:29:46.192 --> 00:29:47.593
would I be like, yes,
00:29:47.813 --> 00:29:48.512
I'm going to do this.
00:29:48.732 --> 00:29:49.153
Yes.
00:29:49.673 --> 00:29:50.313
I love this.
00:29:50.333 --> 00:29:52.913
Like if there was nothing there saying no
00:29:52.953 --> 00:29:53.374
to me,
00:29:53.773 --> 00:29:56.494
would I be like so excited about it?
00:29:56.634 --> 00:29:56.755
And,
00:29:57.195 --> 00:29:58.976
and that is a huge one for me
00:29:58.996 --> 00:30:01.317
because then the fears usually have
00:30:01.436 --> 00:30:02.136
stories in them.
00:30:02.196 --> 00:30:03.757
There's things that I'm telling myself
00:30:03.798 --> 00:30:04.897
that may not be,
00:30:05.498 --> 00:30:08.623
be in alignment with what I know I'm
00:30:08.682 --> 00:30:09.825
capable of.
00:30:10.747 --> 00:30:13.090
And so, so, you know,
00:30:13.290 --> 00:30:15.795
I fear and excitement go hand in hand
00:30:15.815 --> 00:30:16.036
too.
00:30:16.135 --> 00:30:17.218
I think they do like,
00:30:18.339 --> 00:30:19.740
because anything you're doing that you've
00:30:19.921 --> 00:30:21.080
never done before,
00:30:21.461 --> 00:30:23.742
you're going to have fear no matter what,
00:30:23.883 --> 00:30:25.603
because you've never done it before your
00:30:25.643 --> 00:30:26.003
body.
00:30:26.044 --> 00:30:28.325
Like the mind is like beautiful,
00:30:28.365 --> 00:30:28.904
but it is,
00:30:29.144 --> 00:30:30.746
it's designed to keep us safe.
00:30:31.286 --> 00:30:32.906
And so when you go to be like,
00:30:33.086 --> 00:30:34.086
I can't wait to do this.
00:30:34.126 --> 00:30:35.268
Mine's going to be like, no, no, no,
00:30:35.288 --> 00:30:35.468
no, no.
00:30:35.847 --> 00:30:37.128
We've never done that before.
00:30:37.229 --> 00:30:38.148
Let's not do that.
00:30:38.229 --> 00:30:39.230
That's so scary.
00:30:39.289 --> 00:30:40.670
Why would you ever put yourself in that
00:30:40.730 --> 00:30:41.151
position?
00:30:41.211 --> 00:30:42.471
It's like that little, like,
00:30:42.490 --> 00:30:43.852
I feel like it's like one of those
00:30:43.932 --> 00:30:45.393
animation characters that's right there.
00:30:45.432 --> 00:30:46.673
Like, no, no, no, no,
00:30:46.732 --> 00:30:48.213
we can't do this.
00:30:48.473 --> 00:30:50.055
And, but, but the thing is,
00:30:51.077 --> 00:30:52.700
we will always have some fear when we
00:30:52.740 --> 00:30:55.463
want to go do something amazing and that
00:30:55.565 --> 00:30:57.267
I don't think will ever disappear because
00:30:57.307 --> 00:30:58.848
if it's something we've never done,
00:30:59.630 --> 00:31:00.991
we will have to have a little bit,
00:31:01.092 --> 00:31:01.313
right?
00:31:01.373 --> 00:31:02.815
It's that, that challenge.
00:31:02.875 --> 00:31:04.857
So what about you fear or,
00:31:05.077 --> 00:31:06.000
or excitement for you?
00:31:07.445 --> 00:31:09.647
I think they are similar,
00:31:09.688 --> 00:31:11.368
but so very different.
00:31:11.628 --> 00:31:13.911
So for me,
00:31:14.111 --> 00:31:16.633
what really gets me going when I'm excited
00:31:16.673 --> 00:31:20.996
about something is the actual momentum
00:31:21.195 --> 00:31:23.758
that is created from starting.
00:31:23.958 --> 00:31:26.920
So just take this podcast, for example.
00:31:28.980 --> 00:31:31.063
You and I and Debbie decided we were
00:31:31.083 --> 00:31:31.742
going to start it.
00:31:31.803 --> 00:31:33.683
And I think I spent hours and hours
00:31:33.703 --> 00:31:34.305
and hours on it.
00:31:34.625 --> 00:31:35.926
how to figure out how to get it
00:31:35.946 --> 00:31:38.189
on apple podcasts and you know what's the
00:31:38.209 --> 00:31:40.632
best way what's the best website to to
00:31:40.832 --> 00:31:42.814
use for that and so like i i
00:31:42.834 --> 00:31:44.855
just went down this rabbit hole and it
00:31:44.875 --> 00:31:46.097
was like i looked up and it was
00:31:46.117 --> 00:31:46.858
like midnight
00:31:48.964 --> 00:31:51.346
And so getting excited about something
00:31:51.487 --> 00:31:54.569
actually gets me going and I lose track
00:31:54.710 --> 00:31:55.170
of time.
00:31:55.710 --> 00:31:58.333
And that's the part of being an
00:31:58.353 --> 00:32:00.034
entrepreneur and doing new things and
00:32:00.074 --> 00:32:02.536
trying new things that really excites me
00:32:02.895 --> 00:32:05.377
because I know at the end of the
00:32:05.417 --> 00:32:05.738
road,
00:32:05.798 --> 00:32:07.900
I'm going to have learned something new
00:32:08.300 --> 00:32:10.362
that I can maybe share with other people.
00:32:10.863 --> 00:32:13.845
And I've conquered a giant that I couldn't
00:32:14.005 --> 00:32:15.865
I decided I would just, you know,
00:32:15.945 --> 00:32:16.967
go ahead and slay.
00:32:17.186 --> 00:32:19.167
So I think that for me,
00:32:20.048 --> 00:32:21.349
they're both there.
00:32:21.650 --> 00:32:24.211
So fear always kind of gets in the
00:32:24.251 --> 00:32:25.732
way as logic,
00:32:25.792 --> 00:32:27.032
like we talked about at the very
00:32:27.074 --> 00:32:28.855
beginning, that excitement,
00:32:28.994 --> 00:32:30.596
once you can get over that hump of
00:32:30.635 --> 00:32:33.377
fear and start doing the things that
00:32:33.417 --> 00:32:35.519
you're talking about or wanting to do,
00:32:36.019 --> 00:32:37.339
that excitement takes over.
00:32:37.539 --> 00:32:39.141
And I feel like you kind of get
00:32:39.181 --> 00:32:39.761
into this,
00:32:39.961 --> 00:32:41.762
this momentum and this flow and,
00:32:42.103 --> 00:32:44.325
And so for me, it's, it's an,
00:32:44.525 --> 00:32:45.486
and I don't, I don't,
00:32:45.665 --> 00:32:47.027
I don't know if I can pick which
00:32:47.166 --> 00:32:48.106
one is louder.
00:32:48.468 --> 00:32:48.667
I mean,
00:32:48.728 --> 00:32:50.269
I always want excitement to be louder.
00:32:50.308 --> 00:32:52.851
Of course everyone does, but yeah,
00:32:52.871 --> 00:32:54.132
but so that's,
00:32:54.271 --> 00:32:55.692
that's one of the things I think,
00:32:56.173 --> 00:32:57.634
I think with the fear,
00:32:57.794 --> 00:32:59.516
a lot of people face it and a
00:32:59.576 --> 00:33:02.217
lot of it has to do with your,
00:33:02.357 --> 00:33:04.138
your history, your background,
00:33:04.278 --> 00:33:07.201
your upbringing, your, your origin,
00:33:07.300 --> 00:33:09.201
your family of origin and that kind of
00:33:09.241 --> 00:33:09.502
thing.
00:33:09.563 --> 00:33:10.022
So it's,
00:33:10.443 --> 00:33:11.505
I know you do a lot of work
00:33:11.525 --> 00:33:14.429
with people on mindset and getting past
00:33:14.469 --> 00:33:15.710
those fears, Nicole.
00:33:15.789 --> 00:33:17.352
And I know I've done in my own
00:33:17.392 --> 00:33:19.074
life a lot of work on that.
00:33:19.134 --> 00:33:21.156
And so I think it takes practice.
00:33:21.277 --> 00:33:23.660
It takes practice of being afraid and just
00:33:24.300 --> 00:33:26.324
going to the next step.
00:33:26.544 --> 00:33:28.807
i uh it was a couple years ago
00:33:29.048 --> 00:33:32.894
i was a part of a leadership summit
00:33:33.054 --> 00:33:34.636
and there was a speaker on the stage
00:33:34.777 --> 00:33:38.542
and she did a challenge and she was
00:33:38.742 --> 00:33:40.605
wanting to get one hundred
00:33:42.434 --> 00:33:43.076
questions.
00:33:43.096 --> 00:33:44.636
And it doesn't matter.
00:33:44.737 --> 00:33:46.479
She was asking for one hundred things.
00:33:46.499 --> 00:33:48.260
So every single day she asked for
00:33:48.320 --> 00:33:48.800
something.
00:33:49.141 --> 00:33:50.923
So she would challenge herself to ask.
00:33:50.962 --> 00:33:52.744
So it was like she wanted one hundred
00:33:52.785 --> 00:33:53.265
yeses.
00:33:53.505 --> 00:33:54.465
But if it was a no,
00:33:54.506 --> 00:33:55.667
that was OK, too.
00:33:55.948 --> 00:33:58.390
And she ended up going on this journey
00:33:58.490 --> 00:34:00.711
of like she ended up skydiving and doing
00:34:00.791 --> 00:34:02.354
all of these great things that she never
00:34:02.374 --> 00:34:04.536
would have done if she hadn't have just
00:34:04.615 --> 00:34:05.557
taken that risk.
00:34:06.146 --> 00:34:09.349
and ask the question and taking that step.
00:34:09.389 --> 00:34:12.190
So I think it's a great example that
00:34:12.230 --> 00:34:14.451
we should challenge ourselves in those
00:34:14.672 --> 00:34:16.251
areas that we're really wanting to move
00:34:16.291 --> 00:34:17.052
forward in.
00:34:17.552 --> 00:34:19.134
So I have another question,
00:34:19.153 --> 00:34:21.795
but I want to make sure that we've
00:34:22.074 --> 00:34:25.117
covered all of our comments here.
00:34:25.416 --> 00:34:25.996
Debbie says,
00:34:26.056 --> 00:34:29.278
perhaps distraction is the way fear shows
00:34:29.438 --> 00:34:31.320
up in your life and it becomes a
00:34:31.400 --> 00:34:32.681
habit or a pattern.
00:34:33.141 --> 00:34:35.262
I love that we can really get stuck
00:34:35.422 --> 00:34:38.043
into distractions in the daily grind.
00:34:38.445 --> 00:34:39.545
And, you know, I can do that.
00:34:39.605 --> 00:34:41.085
I can be like I can put my
00:34:41.146 --> 00:34:43.128
business aside or the scary thing that I
00:34:43.168 --> 00:34:43.887
wanted to do,
00:34:43.987 --> 00:34:46.650
like go live and talk about some program
00:34:46.670 --> 00:34:49.271
that I have or some some social media
00:34:49.291 --> 00:34:51.672
posts or something and just be like, well,
00:34:51.733 --> 00:34:53.074
no, I need to do the laundry.
00:34:53.114 --> 00:34:53.213
Right.
00:34:55.528 --> 00:34:56.449
Those kind of things.
00:34:56.548 --> 00:34:58.329
I mean, it just, you know,
00:34:58.469 --> 00:34:59.710
it's just life, right?
00:35:00.271 --> 00:35:01.090
Yeah.
00:35:01.231 --> 00:35:01.550
I know.
00:35:02.010 --> 00:35:02.552
Sorry, Lori.
00:35:02.572 --> 00:35:03.512
I was going to say that too.
00:35:03.552 --> 00:35:04.152
It's so funny.
00:35:04.172 --> 00:35:04.452
You know,
00:35:04.492 --> 00:35:06.552
like many other women I talk to,
00:35:06.592 --> 00:35:07.353
they're like, you know,
00:35:07.652 --> 00:35:08.873
when they're thinking of something they
00:35:08.893 --> 00:35:10.014
want to do there, they,
00:35:10.655 --> 00:35:11.574
they say to me,
00:35:11.695 --> 00:35:13.436
like my pantry has never been more
00:35:13.576 --> 00:35:14.576
organized before.
00:35:14.615 --> 00:35:17.056
They're like,
00:35:17.077 --> 00:35:18.657
every time they wanna go do something,
00:35:18.677 --> 00:35:20.059
they go to the thing that they know
00:35:20.099 --> 00:35:21.119
they can do, right?
00:35:21.139 --> 00:35:23.840
That takes them away from what they need
00:35:23.880 --> 00:35:24.240
to do.
00:35:25.342 --> 00:35:28.063
And they still feel like it's productive.
00:35:28.202 --> 00:35:29.884
They're still like, oh, look at my pantry.
00:35:30.244 --> 00:35:31.085
It looks amazing.
00:35:31.565 --> 00:35:34.226
But it's those distractions that you know
00:35:34.326 --> 00:35:37.327
that you are doing almost on purpose
00:35:37.347 --> 00:35:38.869
because it becomes too much.
00:35:38.909 --> 00:35:40.389
But lots of times the distractions come
00:35:40.429 --> 00:35:41.269
from the stories.
00:35:42.590 --> 00:35:45.373
If the story is a really challenging story
00:35:46.295 --> 00:35:49.639
that I can't learn fast enough or I
00:35:49.679 --> 00:35:53.043
never speak clearly,
00:35:53.965 --> 00:35:55.146
I'm not a great writer,
00:35:55.186 --> 00:35:56.507
like when you're trying to do a post,
00:35:56.887 --> 00:35:58.309
if those stories are behind there,
00:35:58.429 --> 00:35:59.411
a distraction happens.
00:35:59.670 --> 00:36:02.472
becomes a place of relief, right?
00:36:02.693 --> 00:36:05.313
And we do that quite often to help
00:36:05.353 --> 00:36:07.315
protect us in a situation.
00:36:08.594 --> 00:36:11.496
But if we have awareness of that
00:36:11.536 --> 00:36:12.197
distraction,
00:36:12.317 --> 00:36:14.197
that's really important because we could
00:36:14.217 --> 00:36:14.557
be like,
00:36:14.677 --> 00:36:18.179
why do I keep doing this thing?
00:36:18.420 --> 00:36:20.340
What is the reason I keep doing this
00:36:20.380 --> 00:36:21.822
thing when I'm supposed to be doing the
00:36:21.862 --> 00:36:23.483
thing that I would really love?
00:36:24.083 --> 00:36:26.063
And just asking ourselves why is
00:36:26.664 --> 00:36:28.704
can be a really honest conversation with
00:36:28.764 --> 00:36:29.864
ourselves, right?
00:36:31.505 --> 00:36:33.786
And then from that place being like,
00:36:33.806 --> 00:36:35.206
is that a hundred percent true?
00:36:35.726 --> 00:36:36.806
What I'm saying to myself,
00:36:36.927 --> 00:36:38.168
is it a hundred percent true?
00:36:38.288 --> 00:36:39.847
And again, what would I love?
00:36:39.887 --> 00:36:41.128
Is this getting me closer to what I
00:36:41.148 --> 00:36:44.449
would love or taking me further away from
00:36:44.489 --> 00:36:45.070
what I would love?
00:36:46.074 --> 00:36:46.534
Yeah,
00:36:46.554 --> 00:36:48.356
I think the key word there is
00:36:48.436 --> 00:36:49.317
distractions.
00:36:49.376 --> 00:36:51.717
And that's just something that we do,
00:36:51.777 --> 00:36:54.579
like you said, to stay safe,
00:36:54.659 --> 00:36:55.599
to play it safe,
00:36:55.940 --> 00:36:57.260
to do something comfortable.
00:36:57.300 --> 00:36:57.501
Like,
00:36:57.820 --> 00:37:00.181
I think sometimes when I've challenged
00:37:00.202 --> 00:37:01.762
myself to do something that's
00:37:01.822 --> 00:37:02.543
uncomfortable,
00:37:03.123 --> 00:37:05.344
I'll gravitate towards doing those
00:37:05.385 --> 00:37:07.425
distracting things that I know, like,
00:37:07.465 --> 00:37:08.226
I mean,
00:37:08.246 --> 00:37:10.007
I know I can fold the laundry well.
00:37:12.644 --> 00:37:14.905
So it's like I'm creating these little
00:37:14.985 --> 00:37:15.925
tiny wins.
00:37:16.447 --> 00:37:18.507
And I don't know what it is about
00:37:18.606 --> 00:37:19.887
our minds that do that.
00:37:19.967 --> 00:37:22.028
But I think it's very important,
00:37:22.048 --> 00:37:22.588
like you said,
00:37:22.628 --> 00:37:25.050
to just kind of wake yourself up if
00:37:25.070 --> 00:37:26.030
you're in the middle of it.
00:37:26.050 --> 00:37:26.871
It's okay.
00:37:27.090 --> 00:37:29.411
It's okay to do things that you need
00:37:29.452 --> 00:37:29.831
to do.
00:37:29.931 --> 00:37:31.952
But just asking yourself,
00:37:32.112 --> 00:37:33.893
am I avoiding things?
00:37:34.733 --> 00:37:36.474
Or am I preparing?
00:37:36.614 --> 00:37:39.635
Because you could be preparing your
00:37:39.675 --> 00:37:42.275
thoughts and how you're going to do it
00:37:42.315 --> 00:37:43.155
and what you're going to do.
00:37:43.175 --> 00:37:45.335
You could be doing that as you're doing
00:37:45.376 --> 00:37:46.635
the thing that you need to do.
00:37:47.635 --> 00:37:50.876
So yeah, it's such a conundrum, isn't it?
00:37:51.476 --> 00:37:53.356
Okay, well, I want to know too,
00:37:53.436 --> 00:37:55.117
what is scarier,
00:37:55.177 --> 00:37:57.978
trying and failing or never knowing what
00:37:58.097 --> 00:37:59.338
could have happened?
00:38:00.318 --> 00:38:02.619
So I have a quick little story about
00:38:02.659 --> 00:38:03.298
this because...
00:38:04.719 --> 00:38:06.420
I wonder, what is failure?
00:38:06.480 --> 00:38:08.340
Failure is different for each of us.
00:38:08.400 --> 00:38:11.041
We sometimes think of something that we
00:38:11.081 --> 00:38:11.780
want to do.
00:38:11.981 --> 00:38:14.342
And what does it mean when we fail?
00:38:14.422 --> 00:38:17.742
So have you ever failed and it wasn't
00:38:17.822 --> 00:38:19.563
as scary as you thought?
00:38:19.963 --> 00:38:23.847
so i know for me i i wanted
00:38:23.887 --> 00:38:26.849
to host a retreat in mexico and i
00:38:26.909 --> 00:38:29.771
started this last year summer about this
00:38:29.811 --> 00:38:32.474
time i didn't give myself enough time and
00:38:32.534 --> 00:38:33.835
i knew it i was putting it off
00:38:33.875 --> 00:38:35.976
putting it off putting off starting right
00:38:36.016 --> 00:38:37.998
so once when i finally did start i
00:38:38.038 --> 00:38:40.460
only had three months to to fill all
00:38:40.480 --> 00:38:41.101
of the spots
00:38:41.701 --> 00:38:45.282
But it was that battle between do I
00:38:45.501 --> 00:38:47.583
do it and go all out and maybe
00:38:47.643 --> 00:38:50.324
fail or do I not do it and
00:38:50.364 --> 00:38:53.565
then wonder what could have been, right?
00:38:53.965 --> 00:38:55.105
So for me,
00:38:55.324 --> 00:38:57.865
I actually did fail according to my
00:38:58.226 --> 00:38:59.106
standards, right?
00:38:59.166 --> 00:39:00.387
I didn't host the retreat,
00:39:00.947 --> 00:39:03.208
but I learned so much.
00:39:03.367 --> 00:39:06.568
So I wonder if you're listening out there
00:39:06.628 --> 00:39:07.048
and you're
00:39:07.548 --> 00:39:10.092
thinking about starting something and
00:39:10.251 --> 00:39:11.994
you're scared of failure,
00:39:12.054 --> 00:39:15.117
which is scarier trying and failing or
00:39:15.298 --> 00:39:17.201
never knowing what could have happened.
00:39:17.340 --> 00:39:18.682
So what about you, Nicole?
00:39:19.664 --> 00:39:21.847
Well, yeah, you know, for me, um,
00:39:24.072 --> 00:39:25.094
They're both like, you know,
00:39:25.233 --> 00:39:27.115
I think the one that I resonate the
00:39:27.197 --> 00:39:28.797
most is never trying,
00:39:29.079 --> 00:39:31.400
like not putting myself out there to see.
00:39:33.422 --> 00:39:34.405
Because I just,
00:39:34.764 --> 00:39:36.827
I don't want that to be something that
00:39:36.867 --> 00:39:37.347
I regret.
00:39:37.387 --> 00:39:38.349
And I always talked about that at the
00:39:38.389 --> 00:39:38.768
beginning,
00:39:38.809 --> 00:39:40.931
but I really don't want to have
00:39:43.652 --> 00:39:46.576
And so I think trying is so important.
00:39:46.695 --> 00:39:48.157
And exactly what you just said,
00:39:48.177 --> 00:39:49.440
and I loved what you said, Laurie,
00:39:49.539 --> 00:39:54.485
about failure, your definition of that.
00:39:55.186 --> 00:39:57.208
And like you said, on paper,
00:39:57.248 --> 00:39:58.451
maybe it looked like I failed,
00:39:58.630 --> 00:40:00.112
I didn't get the people in there.
00:40:00.572 --> 00:40:01.434
that I wanted to,
00:40:01.494 --> 00:40:04.596
but I learned so much along the way
00:40:04.655 --> 00:40:06.076
so that when I do go and do
00:40:06.115 --> 00:40:08.557
it again, I have all this information.
00:40:09.157 --> 00:40:10.059
And I,
00:40:10.378 --> 00:40:13.581
I love the reframe on that because we
00:40:13.601 --> 00:40:15.342
could really beat ourselves up and say,
00:40:15.362 --> 00:40:16.442
I didn't get anybody in and I will
00:40:16.483 --> 00:40:17.282
never do that again.
00:40:17.543 --> 00:40:19.764
I will never try that again.
00:40:20.025 --> 00:40:22.726
Like I won't, or like you did.
00:40:23.246 --> 00:40:23.987
It's like, Oh,
00:40:24.530 --> 00:40:27.693
I learned so much next time I'm going
00:40:27.733 --> 00:40:28.353
to do this.
00:40:29.012 --> 00:40:30.954
And isn't that beautiful that you did
00:40:30.974 --> 00:40:31.074
that?
00:40:31.474 --> 00:40:33.775
I think that's so beautiful because,
00:40:34.516 --> 00:40:35.617
you know, again,
00:40:35.637 --> 00:40:38.038
that comes back to like persistence and
00:40:38.217 --> 00:40:38.679
and, you know,
00:40:38.759 --> 00:40:39.898
I'm not giving up on myself.
00:40:39.938 --> 00:40:41.599
And maybe that avenue didn't work that
00:40:41.639 --> 00:40:43.701
time or maybe I need a longer runway
00:40:43.842 --> 00:40:44.782
or, you know,
00:40:44.961 --> 00:40:46.902
I need to partner with somebody in this
00:40:46.963 --> 00:40:48.103
or whatever it is.
00:40:48.664 --> 00:40:51.684
but I love that yours was not that
00:40:51.784 --> 00:40:52.485
that was a failure.
00:40:52.525 --> 00:40:52.824
In fact,
00:40:53.125 --> 00:40:54.764
I think that was a huge success to
00:40:54.844 --> 00:40:55.125
me,
00:40:56.045 --> 00:40:57.626
you putting yourself out there and being
00:40:57.726 --> 00:40:58.306
so courageous.
00:40:58.346 --> 00:40:59.766
And Lori is like one of the most
00:40:59.826 --> 00:41:01.047
courageous people I know.
00:41:01.507 --> 00:41:02.427
I say that all the time,
00:41:02.447 --> 00:41:04.067
because if you watch Lori,
00:41:04.086 --> 00:41:05.628
she loves with her whole heart.
00:41:05.648 --> 00:41:07.068
She shows up with her whole heart.
00:41:07.108 --> 00:41:07.387
She,
00:41:07.887 --> 00:41:11.909
she is so excited to see others live
00:41:12.349 --> 00:41:13.369
so beautifully.
00:41:13.548 --> 00:41:15.750
And she always makes sure that people
00:41:15.789 --> 00:41:16.150
shine.
00:41:16.329 --> 00:41:16.429
And,
00:41:17.391 --> 00:41:19.134
And so I, you know,
00:41:19.173 --> 00:41:21.315
no matter what circumstance Lori comes up
00:41:21.376 --> 00:41:21.615
against,
00:41:21.657 --> 00:41:24.059
she always sees like the good in it
00:41:24.159 --> 00:41:25.621
or like the lesson through it.
00:41:25.721 --> 00:41:26.001
And I,
00:41:26.481 --> 00:41:28.583
and it's always been so inspirational for
00:41:28.623 --> 00:41:30.306
me because I watch her on things that
00:41:30.326 --> 00:41:30.846
are challenging.
00:41:30.945 --> 00:41:32.307
And then she's like, well, here we go.
00:41:32.327 --> 00:41:33.248
Look what I learned here.
00:41:33.268 --> 00:41:33.429
And then,
00:41:33.608 --> 00:41:34.909
That's what we can do.
00:41:35.688 --> 00:41:36.489
So I,
00:41:36.809 --> 00:41:39.150
I love that because so many of us
00:41:39.190 --> 00:41:40.429
can see it as a failure.
00:41:40.530 --> 00:41:43.771
And then that dream we had never ever
00:41:43.891 --> 00:41:44.251
comes.
00:41:44.431 --> 00:41:46.572
And somebody, somebody needed that.
00:41:46.692 --> 00:41:50.331
People needed you to keep going, right?
00:41:50.773 --> 00:41:52.313
Maybe it's timing maybe.
00:41:52.452 --> 00:41:53.773
And I believe in that timing too.
00:41:53.813 --> 00:41:54.853
Again, back to Haley saying,
00:41:54.932 --> 00:41:56.934
I believe there's timing that everything's
00:41:57.293 --> 00:41:59.173
unfolding at the right time.
00:41:59.293 --> 00:42:01.795
And it just wasn't the right time yet.
00:42:01.835 --> 00:42:02.735
Just not yet.
00:42:05.253 --> 00:42:05.333
Yeah.
00:42:05.353 --> 00:42:06.054
I love that.
00:42:06.074 --> 00:42:07.994
Well, thank you, by the way, Nicole,
00:42:08.655 --> 00:42:10.516
for those kind words.
00:42:12.556 --> 00:42:19.300
Gina says, Lori's a bold badass.
00:42:19.400 --> 00:42:19.840
I love it.
00:42:19.880 --> 00:42:20.181
I love it.
00:42:20.201 --> 00:42:22.862
True, true, true.
00:42:22.902 --> 00:42:23.822
Well, you know,
00:42:23.842 --> 00:42:25.503
sometimes ignorance is bliss.
00:42:27.202 --> 00:42:28.282
You don't know what you don't know.
00:42:28.322 --> 00:42:29.043
You don't know what you're getting
00:42:29.163 --> 00:42:30.884
yourself into, and you just go.
00:42:30.903 --> 00:42:34.505
And I think we were speaking about that
00:42:34.704 --> 00:42:37.405
earlier in this season of at least my
00:42:37.445 --> 00:42:39.067
life, and I know your life, Nicole.
00:42:39.806 --> 00:42:42.208
It's time to go in some ways, right?
00:42:42.327 --> 00:42:45.789
It's time to not shy away from those
00:42:45.829 --> 00:42:48.331
challenges, and it's time to...
00:42:49.550 --> 00:42:52.871
kind of redefine who we are and get
00:42:52.931 --> 00:42:55.512
ourselves out there because, you know,
00:42:55.833 --> 00:42:56.913
I know you're still in the middle of
00:42:56.972 --> 00:42:57.773
raising children,
00:42:57.793 --> 00:42:59.253
but when I was raising children,
00:42:59.273 --> 00:43:00.474
it was all about the children.
00:43:00.554 --> 00:43:02.795
And so I just commend you, Nicole, for,
00:43:03.094 --> 00:43:05.315
for being able to be a single mom
00:43:05.835 --> 00:43:07.876
and have a business of your own and
00:43:07.896 --> 00:43:11.597
support those kids by yourself and you're
00:43:11.617 --> 00:43:12.038
doing it.
00:43:12.177 --> 00:43:14.878
And so I just want to give you
00:43:14.918 --> 00:43:16.699
those accolades because you,
00:43:16.900 --> 00:43:19.603
It's a great example for those of you
00:43:19.722 --> 00:43:23.226
out there who are single moms or single
00:43:23.246 --> 00:43:23.927
preneurs,
00:43:23.987 --> 00:43:26.269
those kinds of things that it's possible
00:43:26.570 --> 00:43:27.751
and you can do it.
00:43:28.271 --> 00:43:29.112
If Nicole can do it,
00:43:29.152 --> 00:43:29.713
you can do it.
00:43:29.813 --> 00:43:29.972
So.
00:43:32.144 --> 00:43:33.846
Thank you so much, Lori.
00:43:33.925 --> 00:43:36.947
And believe me, if I can, you can,
00:43:36.967 --> 00:43:37.626
for sure.
00:43:38.987 --> 00:43:39.869
Is it always easy?
00:43:39.989 --> 00:43:41.329
No, for sure, no.
00:43:41.628 --> 00:43:42.369
For sure, no.
00:43:42.809 --> 00:43:46.251
But we are on these journeys,
00:43:46.532 --> 00:43:49.452
and I would way rather people try.
00:43:49.813 --> 00:43:51.574
I would way rather people try.
00:43:52.353 --> 00:43:54.835
um, than not way, way rather.
00:43:54.896 --> 00:43:55.135
Cause I,
00:43:55.456 --> 00:43:58.137
I know that that trying alone helps you
00:43:58.157 --> 00:44:01.219
believe in yourself more than anything
00:44:01.320 --> 00:44:01.601
else.
00:44:01.860 --> 00:44:02.760
It really does.
00:44:02.900 --> 00:44:04.181
Cause every time you try,
00:44:04.762 --> 00:44:07.764
you start to see that you have
00:44:07.824 --> 00:44:09.126
capabilities that you,
00:44:09.146 --> 00:44:11.427
that you are stronger than you thought you
00:44:11.447 --> 00:44:11.686
were.
00:44:11.788 --> 00:44:14.289
You are more than you have been giving
00:44:14.309 --> 00:44:15.289
yourself credit for.
00:44:16.050 --> 00:44:16.791
And, um,
00:44:16.931 --> 00:44:18.132
and then I also want to say on
00:44:18.172 --> 00:44:19.713
this whole thing that,
00:44:19.893 --> 00:44:22.833
you know surround yourself with people who
00:44:22.893 --> 00:44:25.474
see it surround yourself with people who
00:44:25.974 --> 00:44:28.335
will help you get out of those stories
00:44:28.375 --> 00:44:30.534
out of your head help you take that
00:44:30.574 --> 00:44:33.856
next step help you um you know believe
00:44:33.876 --> 00:44:35.596
that there's more possible because
00:44:35.795 --> 00:44:37.815
whatever you're surrounding yourself with
00:44:38.235 --> 00:44:40.456
is in the mind in the heart in
00:44:40.496 --> 00:44:43.237
the cells all those things and i i
00:44:43.317 --> 00:44:46.338
i really believe that that is a huge
00:44:46.378 --> 00:44:47.077
part of the formula
00:44:47.998 --> 00:44:49.458
We're on this journey,
00:44:49.577 --> 00:44:51.099
but if you're surrounding yourself with
00:44:51.119 --> 00:44:54.458
people who keep reminding you how awesome,
00:44:54.539 --> 00:44:57.019
like Gina just said, Lori is a badass,
00:44:57.039 --> 00:44:58.980
a bold badass.
00:44:59.521 --> 00:45:03.041
I love it because she is reminding Lori
00:45:03.061 --> 00:45:05.282
right now of all she is too, right?
00:45:05.442 --> 00:45:07.101
And we continue to surround ourselves with
00:45:07.121 --> 00:45:07.342
that.
00:45:07.681 --> 00:45:10.382
It helps us move through all of these
00:45:10.402 --> 00:45:12.943
things and helps us not talk ourselves out
00:45:13.123 --> 00:45:14.563
of the things that we would love.
00:45:15.686 --> 00:45:16.286
I love that.
00:45:16.467 --> 00:45:18.748
And I think that's kind of the point
00:45:18.807 --> 00:45:21.070
of this podcast and why we started is
00:45:21.110 --> 00:45:23.070
because we wanted to share our lives and
00:45:23.150 --> 00:45:26.213
our diaries with everyone who's tuning in
00:45:26.833 --> 00:45:29.155
and give them a chance to share with
00:45:29.335 --> 00:45:29.496
us.
00:45:29.615 --> 00:45:32.297
And it really is about encouraging each
00:45:32.398 --> 00:45:34.440
other about this life that we're
00:45:37.942 --> 00:45:38.842
Thank you, Nicole,
00:45:38.882 --> 00:45:41.204
for just giving all of those nuggets to
00:45:41.264 --> 00:45:42.724
everyone and the encouragement.
00:45:42.744 --> 00:45:44.646
I want to encourage you guys, too.
00:45:45.166 --> 00:45:48.528
We had a listener tell us that she
00:45:48.628 --> 00:45:50.791
listened to seven minutes of our podcast.
00:45:50.851 --> 00:45:51.751
The first seven minutes,
00:45:51.791 --> 00:45:52.831
it's been a few weeks now.
00:45:53.373 --> 00:45:56.675
And she started that thing that she wanted
00:45:56.715 --> 00:45:57.094
to start.
00:45:57.155 --> 00:45:58.275
And I was like, oh, my gosh,
00:45:58.315 --> 00:46:00.197
that brings tears to my eyes because
00:46:00.217 --> 00:46:01.097
that's really wonderful.
00:46:01.297 --> 00:46:04.242
why we're here is to encourage you guys
00:46:04.543 --> 00:46:07.005
to put something out there that's positive
00:46:07.206 --> 00:46:10.210
and also to motivate you and to tell
00:46:10.251 --> 00:46:12.193
you, you know, go ahead,
00:46:12.414 --> 00:46:14.637
do the thing and then come back next
00:46:14.657 --> 00:46:15.918
week and tell us all about it.
00:46:17.677 --> 00:46:19.139
So I want to go back and just
00:46:19.378 --> 00:46:21.199
revisit Lonnie's comment.
00:46:21.219 --> 00:46:21.920
She says, Lori,
00:46:21.980 --> 00:46:23.621
I just went through that same experience
00:46:23.661 --> 00:46:24.942
and almost canceled it,
00:46:25.342 --> 00:46:26.943
but held the retreat in spite of the
00:46:26.983 --> 00:46:28.764
fact that it wasn't financially
00:46:28.824 --> 00:46:29.583
successful.
00:46:30.045 --> 00:46:32.865
Then she says the value of the experience
00:46:32.905 --> 00:46:34.987
was so much more important for those who
00:46:35.007 --> 00:46:37.487
attended and for me.
00:46:37.809 --> 00:46:39.750
Well, congratulations, Lonnie,
00:46:39.849 --> 00:46:42.490
on holding that retreat and going through
00:46:42.510 --> 00:46:43.110
with the plan,
00:46:43.251 --> 00:46:45.152
even though you maybe didn't have all of
00:46:45.192 --> 00:46:46.193
the spaces filled.
00:46:46.733 --> 00:46:49.394
So I just commend you for that.
00:46:49.534 --> 00:46:51.235
And maybe we should partner up on the
00:46:51.255 --> 00:46:51.735
next surgery.
00:46:55.039 --> 00:46:55.498
But I mean,
00:46:55.579 --> 00:46:58.380
it's so valuable to learn those lessons
00:46:58.621 --> 00:47:01.043
and actually get yourself out there
00:47:01.083 --> 00:47:04.605
because failure is exactly what you define
00:47:04.644 --> 00:47:05.204
it as.
00:47:05.686 --> 00:47:07.427
You can say it's failure or you can
00:47:07.487 --> 00:47:09.288
say it's a lesson learned.
00:47:09.447 --> 00:47:10.708
And so for me,
00:47:10.869 --> 00:47:12.489
it was a lesson learned and it sounds
00:47:12.510 --> 00:47:13.871
like it was a lesson learned.
00:47:14.331 --> 00:47:17.333
from you as well Lonnie so thank you
00:47:17.373 --> 00:47:19.954
for sharing and so we're going to shift
00:47:20.135 --> 00:47:24.677
into the next part of our podcast which
00:47:24.916 --> 00:47:29.179
is always so fun because we like to
00:47:29.318 --> 00:47:30.599
give you guys some
00:47:31.340 --> 00:47:33.501
some ways that you can kind of take
00:47:33.760 --> 00:47:36.902
these lessons home with you and write in
00:47:36.943 --> 00:47:38.543
your own diaries.
00:47:38.623 --> 00:47:41.806
And so we also have a reflection guide.
00:47:41.846 --> 00:47:43.246
So we have one of these every single
00:47:43.286 --> 00:47:43.606
week.
00:47:43.646 --> 00:47:46.208
So if you want the reflection guide,
00:47:46.509 --> 00:47:48.829
just comment diary in the comments.
00:47:49.170 --> 00:47:51.532
You can also go to our website,
00:47:51.552 --> 00:47:53.733
which might be a little bit easier so
00:47:53.753 --> 00:47:55.594
that we don't forget to get back with
00:47:55.634 --> 00:47:59.916
you, but it's shared diary podcast.com.
00:48:00.277 --> 00:48:02.177
And then you just scroll down and there's
00:48:02.197 --> 00:48:04.137
a button you can click that says,
00:48:04.918 --> 00:48:06.018
send me the weekly guide.
00:48:06.179 --> 00:48:07.639
So you can sign up for these and
00:48:07.659 --> 00:48:09.219
get these every single week.
00:48:09.260 --> 00:48:10.699
And this is another thing that we're
00:48:10.760 --> 00:48:11.780
learning as we go,
00:48:11.820 --> 00:48:14.161
that this should be a part of what
00:48:14.201 --> 00:48:16.722
we do and provide for you is something
00:48:16.762 --> 00:48:17.481
to take home.
00:48:17.842 --> 00:48:21.023
something to you know cherish and you can
00:48:21.043 --> 00:48:23.005
print these out and you can fill them
00:48:23.106 --> 00:48:25.188
in and you can keep a notebook every
00:48:25.208 --> 00:48:27.728
week and we would love that so some
00:48:27.949 --> 00:48:31.271
actionable practices that we can do
00:48:31.311 --> 00:48:34.554
together this week is notice one moment
00:48:34.574 --> 00:48:37.235
when you're about to say no to yourself
00:48:37.416 --> 00:48:40.378
then pause before making the decision ask
00:48:40.418 --> 00:48:42.780
yourself is this really what i want or
00:48:42.920 --> 00:48:45.021
is this what fear wants so
00:48:45.262 --> 00:48:48.346
So ask yourself, which way do I go?
00:48:48.385 --> 00:48:50.489
Do I go with fear or do I
00:48:50.528 --> 00:48:51.929
go with myself?
00:48:52.451 --> 00:48:54.634
And then notice one opportunity where your
00:48:54.693 --> 00:48:56.715
first instinct is to list all the reasons
00:48:56.755 --> 00:48:59.438
you can't and instead ask,
00:49:00.340 --> 00:49:02.342
if I trust myself just five percent more,
00:49:02.523 --> 00:49:03.523
what would I choose?
00:49:04.065 --> 00:49:05.646
So at the end of each day,
00:49:05.706 --> 00:49:07.367
you can actually write down one moment
00:49:07.407 --> 00:49:10.289
when you chose courage over comfort,
00:49:10.668 --> 00:49:12.630
even if it was something small, right?
00:49:12.710 --> 00:49:14.351
Even if it was just to call that
00:49:14.411 --> 00:49:16.572
friend that you're scared of having maybe
00:49:16.632 --> 00:49:19.235
a difficult conversation with, or,
00:49:19.355 --> 00:49:19.876
you know,
00:49:20.135 --> 00:49:22.237
asking a new friend out for coffee,
00:49:22.277 --> 00:49:23.297
whatever it is,
00:49:23.677 --> 00:49:26.599
I think it's important to actually write
00:49:26.619 --> 00:49:29.161
those things down and tell yourself when
00:49:29.342 --> 00:49:32.304
you've won and when you maybe need to
00:49:32.344 --> 00:49:33.324
push yourself some more.
00:49:34.505 --> 00:49:35.786
Part three,
00:49:35.945 --> 00:49:38.126
I want to make sure we cover what
00:49:38.186 --> 00:49:39.887
has life taught you about fear.
00:49:39.927 --> 00:49:41.108
This is a big one.
00:49:42.190 --> 00:49:43.851
But I would love, Nicole,
00:49:43.871 --> 00:49:45.010
for you to just give us some of
00:49:45.030 --> 00:49:47.413
your thoughts on what has life taught you
00:49:47.432 --> 00:49:48.032
about fear?
00:49:50.715 --> 00:49:51.394
Well, you know,
00:49:51.454 --> 00:49:52.536
I think what it's taught me.
00:49:52.715 --> 00:49:56.998
Oh, my gosh, that is a big question.
00:49:57.057 --> 00:49:58.079
I think it's taught me.
00:49:59.226 --> 00:50:00.867
that fear will probably always show up,
00:50:01.266 --> 00:50:03.148
that it's always going to be there when
00:50:03.188 --> 00:50:04.288
I want to do something new,
00:50:05.429 --> 00:50:07.309
that I can't just say I'm, like,
00:50:07.369 --> 00:50:09.811
I know there's the term fearless,
00:50:10.490 --> 00:50:11.791
but I don't know if it a hundred
00:50:11.811 --> 00:50:12.992
percent exists,
00:50:13.213 --> 00:50:15.333
that you're a hundred percent fearless.
00:50:16.135 --> 00:50:17.715
I feel like there's, you know,
00:50:17.916 --> 00:50:21.436
and if you are a hundred percent fearless,
00:50:21.496 --> 00:50:21.817
you're amazing.
00:50:21.836 --> 00:50:24.657
But like for me,
00:50:24.838 --> 00:50:27.338
I don't think I will ever be fearless.
00:50:27.458 --> 00:50:29.599
And if I have no fear,
00:50:30.601 --> 00:50:32.161
I think I sometimes question myself.
00:50:32.240 --> 00:50:33.981
Am I doing the things that like,
00:50:34.021 --> 00:50:35.021
am I expanding?
00:50:35.181 --> 00:50:36.262
Am I even growing?
00:50:36.342 --> 00:50:38.583
Am I, am I doing things that,
00:50:38.724 --> 00:50:39.244
you know,
00:50:39.643 --> 00:50:41.664
are going to change my life a bit?
00:50:41.704 --> 00:50:43.846
Because if I'm just in that comfort zone
00:50:44.005 --> 00:50:44.646
all the time,
00:50:45.945 --> 00:50:47.266
Am I actually growing?
00:50:47.447 --> 00:50:50.251
Am I actually doing things that are going
00:50:50.291 --> 00:50:52.893
to push me past where I am?
00:50:53.695 --> 00:50:55.016
So I think fear has taught me that
00:50:55.056 --> 00:50:57.599
it's never not going to be part of
00:50:57.619 --> 00:50:58.101
my life.
00:50:58.481 --> 00:51:01.204
But it is also taught me that lots
00:51:01.244 --> 00:51:03.186
of times what I fear is not true.
00:51:04.088 --> 00:51:05.809
And that I need to really question it.
00:51:06.028 --> 00:51:08.150
I need to sit in and even write
00:51:08.271 --> 00:51:11.452
out what is it that I am fearing?
00:51:11.612 --> 00:51:12.353
What is it?
00:51:12.474 --> 00:51:13.835
And look at it from my eyes and
00:51:13.855 --> 00:51:16.235
be like, is that a hundred percent true?
00:51:16.976 --> 00:51:18.157
Is that really true?
00:51:18.317 --> 00:51:18.978
And if yes,
00:51:19.402 --> 00:51:21.623
like when I write it down, you know,
00:51:22.125 --> 00:51:25.407
would everybody in my life agree that what
00:51:25.567 --> 00:51:27.168
I'm saying is a hundred percent true?
00:51:27.188 --> 00:51:28.869
If I had more people around,
00:51:29.289 --> 00:51:31.050
would they all believe that too?
00:51:31.951 --> 00:51:32.670
And, you know,
00:51:32.911 --> 00:51:34.871
most of the time we are the hardest
00:51:34.911 --> 00:51:36.632
critics on ourselves, right?
00:51:36.753 --> 00:51:36.873
And,
00:51:37.233 --> 00:51:38.253
and we're just trying to protect
00:51:38.273 --> 00:51:38.715
ourselves.
00:51:38.815 --> 00:51:40.856
We really are, you know, we,
00:51:40.996 --> 00:51:42.677
we don't want to get hurt.
00:51:42.737 --> 00:51:43.918
We do not want to fail.
00:51:43.978 --> 00:51:45.278
We do not want to,
00:51:46.539 --> 00:51:47.219
be judged.
00:51:47.380 --> 00:51:51.362
We don't want these things.
00:51:51.402 --> 00:51:53.583
But if we know that those things are
00:51:53.643 --> 00:51:55.085
all going to be part of life at
00:51:55.184 --> 00:51:56.846
some point, we all are going to,
00:51:56.885 --> 00:51:58.166
you know, we will be judged.
00:51:58.226 --> 00:51:59.907
We will fail at things.
00:51:59.967 --> 00:52:01.608
We will have things go wrong.
00:52:02.688 --> 00:52:03.849
Wouldn't it be worth it
00:52:04.400 --> 00:52:06.021
to still give it a try and still
00:52:06.061 --> 00:52:09.945
put yourself out there because so many of
00:52:10.025 --> 00:52:12.168
the most amazing things that we enjoy
00:52:12.208 --> 00:52:15.572
today were because people said,
00:52:15.911 --> 00:52:16.833
I know I'm going to be judged.
00:52:16.994 --> 00:52:17.813
I know there's fear.
00:52:17.954 --> 00:52:19.356
I don't know what the other side is,
00:52:19.396 --> 00:52:20.757
but I'm going for it anyways.
00:52:21.822 --> 00:52:23.003
Like I think about, you know,
00:52:24.144 --> 00:52:25.726
I remember when I was studying with Bob
00:52:25.766 --> 00:52:26.447
Proctor years ago,
00:52:26.467 --> 00:52:27.867
and he talks about the story of the
00:52:27.987 --> 00:52:28.489
airplane.
00:52:29.329 --> 00:52:29.809
And like,
00:52:29.869 --> 00:52:32.351
who would have ever thought metal like
00:52:32.371 --> 00:52:33.833
that would ever get off the ground?
00:52:33.893 --> 00:52:37.155
Like birds fly, but like humans don't.
00:52:37.376 --> 00:52:37.856
And, you know,
00:52:38.257 --> 00:52:40.798
and especially within a big metal box,
00:52:40.878 --> 00:52:41.219
right?
00:52:41.239 --> 00:52:41.320
Yeah.
00:52:42.092 --> 00:52:44.994
But yet people thought about the idea.
00:52:45.054 --> 00:52:46.715
They worked on it.
00:52:46.735 --> 00:52:48.596
They put the effort into it because they
00:52:48.635 --> 00:52:50.277
believed it was possible.
00:52:50.836 --> 00:52:52.677
They didn't sit in the logic of what
00:52:52.717 --> 00:52:53.597
they knew today.
00:52:54.079 --> 00:52:56.840
They thought about what would be possible.
00:52:57.639 --> 00:53:00.360
And I think we wouldn't have so much
00:53:00.521 --> 00:53:03.123
of what we love and that we experienced
00:53:03.143 --> 00:53:03.362
today
00:53:03.786 --> 00:53:05.847
without people dreaming bigger and
00:53:05.927 --> 00:53:08.030
stepping into their fear.
00:53:08.710 --> 00:53:10.472
And so I'm so grateful for all the
00:53:10.512 --> 00:53:13.936
people that continue to step into fear and
00:53:13.976 --> 00:53:17.260
continue to do the things that one day
00:53:17.760 --> 00:53:19.202
we will thank them for.
00:53:19.590 --> 00:53:20.891
We will really thank them for it.
00:53:21.072 --> 00:53:23.614
And that's why even when I'm on social
00:53:23.634 --> 00:53:25.135
media and I see, you know,
00:53:25.175 --> 00:53:28.297
people doing their lives or, you know,
00:53:28.317 --> 00:53:30.458
doing their live videos or they're
00:53:30.478 --> 00:53:31.978
promoting their products or whatever
00:53:31.998 --> 00:53:32.739
they're trying to do,
00:53:33.219 --> 00:53:35.920
I love to try to celebrate all these
00:53:35.960 --> 00:53:38.262
people because that takes courage to put
00:53:38.282 --> 00:53:39.304
yourself out there.
00:53:39.884 --> 00:53:42.846
And one person or one, you know,
00:53:44.179 --> 00:53:48.161
Lots of people can be living better just
00:53:48.181 --> 00:53:50.822
because you had the courage to step up.
00:53:51.041 --> 00:53:52.001
You had the courage.
00:53:52.481 --> 00:53:55.202
So I keep saying, go for it.
00:53:55.503 --> 00:53:56.143
Go for it.
00:53:56.184 --> 00:53:56.943
We need you.
00:53:57.023 --> 00:53:58.164
We need you.
00:53:58.264 --> 00:53:59.744
And I don't want you living with regrets.
00:53:59.885 --> 00:54:02.865
I want you to live as fully expanded
00:54:03.045 --> 00:54:04.806
as you were meant to live while you
00:54:04.827 --> 00:54:05.186
were here.
00:54:08.097 --> 00:54:08.358
I love that.
00:54:08.378 --> 00:54:12.523
I love the example of the airplane,
00:54:12.802 --> 00:54:15.686
because if you think about how many times,
00:54:16.027 --> 00:54:18.228
how many failures it took for them to
00:54:18.329 --> 00:54:20.452
actually get off the ground, you know,
00:54:20.992 --> 00:54:21.793
I don't know how many,
00:54:21.873 --> 00:54:24.295
I don't know the details of that story,
00:54:24.315 --> 00:54:26.358
but the Wright brothers are, you know,
00:54:26.418 --> 00:54:27.219
the inventors.
00:54:27.780 --> 00:54:28.420
And, you know,
00:54:28.440 --> 00:54:30.623
they must have gone through so many
00:54:30.664 --> 00:54:31.804
different iterations.
00:54:31.925 --> 00:54:33.045
And, you know,
00:54:33.306 --> 00:54:35.588
I think that's just amazing to think
00:54:35.628 --> 00:54:35.949
about.
00:54:36.110 --> 00:54:38.793
Yes, now with full confidence,
00:54:39.273 --> 00:54:42.257
we every single day get on airplanes.
00:54:42.856 --> 00:54:43.958
you know, sit down,
00:54:43.998 --> 00:54:45.340
put our luggage under like,
00:54:45.860 --> 00:54:47.722
and we take off and we're just reading
00:54:47.742 --> 00:54:49.884
a book and but we're flying through the
00:54:50.043 --> 00:54:52.385
air at hundreds of miles an hour and
00:54:52.947 --> 00:54:54.969
thousands of feet above the earth.
00:54:55.409 --> 00:54:58.351
So I think that's so such a good
00:54:58.391 --> 00:55:02.635
point about how fear should not keep us
00:55:02.795 --> 00:55:03.476
from trying.
00:55:04.217 --> 00:55:06.398
And it's a beautiful example and
00:55:06.438 --> 00:55:08.440
illustration and a visualization.
00:55:09.001 --> 00:55:11.603
I think for me, life has taught,
00:55:11.623 --> 00:55:13.605
what has life taught me about fear?
00:55:14.585 --> 00:55:19.670
I think number one, that it's the phrase,
00:55:19.690 --> 00:55:21.211
feel the fear and do it anyway,
00:55:21.972 --> 00:55:22.213
is fear.
00:55:23.414 --> 00:55:26.876
We're fearful creatures because we are
00:55:26.976 --> 00:55:28.896
protective of our own lives.
00:55:28.936 --> 00:55:31.737
And that's like a natural thing, right?
00:55:32.157 --> 00:55:33.137
And hello, Joe.
00:55:33.237 --> 00:55:34.336
Thank you for joining us.
00:55:35.237 --> 00:55:37.998
It's a natural thing to feel the fear.
00:55:38.338 --> 00:55:41.259
But to know whether is it a bear
00:55:41.318 --> 00:55:42.119
chasing me?
00:55:42.259 --> 00:55:44.559
Am I going to die if I do
00:55:44.599 --> 00:55:44.858
this?
00:55:44.998 --> 00:55:46.099
No, probably not.
00:55:46.440 --> 00:55:49.400
So feeling the fear and then using that
00:55:49.480 --> 00:55:51.840
energy to propel you forward, I think,
00:55:51.960 --> 00:55:52.300
is so
00:55:52.541 --> 00:55:54.882
a skill that we could all learn to
00:55:54.922 --> 00:55:57.043
do a little bit better and for me
00:55:57.242 --> 00:56:00.164
what helps me when i'm thinking about
00:56:00.224 --> 00:56:02.945
something and i haven't done it yet is
00:56:03.085 --> 00:56:06.166
you know what's the worst case scenario so
00:56:06.226 --> 00:56:08.206
i'll actually sometimes take myself down
00:56:08.246 --> 00:56:11.947
that train like okay well maybe i will
00:56:12.047 --> 00:56:15.048
not have any money next month or maybe
00:56:15.429 --> 00:56:17.190
i will lose this
00:56:18.210 --> 00:56:21.012
job or this comfort or this relationship.
00:56:21.052 --> 00:56:23.175
But if I take myself all the way
00:56:23.255 --> 00:56:25.197
to the end of that train,
00:56:25.657 --> 00:56:29.101
it's typically not that bad, you know,
00:56:29.121 --> 00:56:30.704
because it's our, our,
00:56:30.784 --> 00:56:33.085
our bodies and our emotions and our
00:56:33.146 --> 00:56:36.429
thoughts and our brain in the back of
00:56:36.489 --> 00:56:37.391
our head is the
00:56:38.311 --> 00:56:38.610
What is it?
00:56:38.650 --> 00:56:40.271
The amygdala, right?
00:56:40.612 --> 00:56:43.032
That says, no, no, no, stop, stop, stop.
00:56:43.773 --> 00:56:45.795
If we follow those cues,
00:56:45.994 --> 00:56:48.596
then we're kind of robbing ourselves of a
00:56:48.635 --> 00:56:51.137
great experience of actually feeling that
00:56:51.177 --> 00:56:53.117
fear and doing it anyway.
00:56:53.777 --> 00:56:57.483
So thank you, Catherine, for watching.
00:56:57.583 --> 00:56:59.244
Enjoyed all topics today.
00:56:59.525 --> 00:57:01.507
And it's been great, guys.
00:57:01.768 --> 00:57:04.592
Thank you for putting your thoughts out
00:57:04.632 --> 00:57:04.992
there.
00:57:05.112 --> 00:57:07.076
I wanted to address Lonnie's comment.
00:57:07.135 --> 00:57:09.259
Our brain is built to protect us.
00:57:09.699 --> 00:57:11.918
So fear can be a constant resident trying
00:57:11.958 --> 00:57:12.880
to keep us safe.
00:57:13.199 --> 00:57:14.079
And we've talked about that,
00:57:14.820 --> 00:57:17.260
how fear kind of keeps us safe.
00:57:17.561 --> 00:57:19.360
But how we get past it is to
00:57:19.440 --> 00:57:20.501
check in with our heart,
00:57:20.521 --> 00:57:22.762
which I thought was really good to think
00:57:22.782 --> 00:57:23.081
about.
00:57:23.121 --> 00:57:25.742
Like if we can move out of the
00:57:25.842 --> 00:57:27.742
fear and check in with our heart,
00:57:28.202 --> 00:57:28.722
your why.
00:57:28.762 --> 00:57:32.704
Going back to your answer earlier, Nicole,
00:57:33.384 --> 00:57:34.563
remembering your why.
00:57:35.103 --> 00:57:36.543
Checking in with your heart and saying,
00:57:36.684 --> 00:57:38.164
why do I want to do this in
00:57:38.184 --> 00:57:38.905
the first place?
00:57:39.585 --> 00:57:42.608
Is it for a good reason?
00:57:42.789 --> 00:57:45.012
Is it because I feel like I should?
00:57:45.572 --> 00:57:47.695
Or is it because I know if I
00:57:47.735 --> 00:57:48.336
do this,
00:57:48.677 --> 00:57:50.380
it's going to make a big difference in
00:57:50.420 --> 00:57:51.440
not only my life,
00:57:51.460 --> 00:57:52.722
but other people's lives.
00:57:53.143 --> 00:57:55.246
So knowing your purpose, knowing your why,
00:57:55.425 --> 00:57:56.927
super, super important.
00:57:57.588 --> 00:57:59.989
So I can't believe it's already time to
00:58:00.110 --> 00:58:01.851
end our time together.
00:58:01.971 --> 00:58:03.891
It's just always flies by.
00:58:03.971 --> 00:58:07.512
But I did want to mention that we
00:58:07.753 --> 00:58:10.112
always have these last questions that we
00:58:10.152 --> 00:58:11.454
want to challenge you with.
00:58:11.514 --> 00:58:13.974
So if you have a pen and a
00:58:14.034 --> 00:58:14.614
paper,
00:58:14.974 --> 00:58:17.356
then you can grab it and jot these
00:58:17.456 --> 00:58:17.896
down.
00:58:18.115 --> 00:58:20.077
What's bringing you joy right now?
00:58:20.396 --> 00:58:22.097
This is a good exercise and we can
00:58:22.117 --> 00:58:23.358
do this weekly together.
00:58:23.677 --> 00:58:25.099
What's bringing you joy right now?
00:58:25.958 --> 00:58:27.679
what's challenging you right now,
00:58:28.161 --> 00:58:30.202
what's inspiring you right now,
00:58:30.782 --> 00:58:33.405
and what's one thing that you're grateful
00:58:33.445 --> 00:58:34.184
for this week.
00:58:34.284 --> 00:58:36.907
So thinking about those good positive
00:58:36.927 --> 00:58:38.728
things and actually writing them down
00:58:39.369 --> 00:58:41.791
triggers to your brain that you're okay,
00:58:41.831 --> 00:58:42.711
that you are safe,
00:58:42.731 --> 00:58:44.152
that you can move forward.
00:58:44.572 --> 00:58:46.574
And then the bonus question is what's one
00:58:46.594 --> 00:58:48.076
thing you're going to stop talking
00:58:48.416 --> 00:58:49.936
yourself out of this weeks?
00:58:49.976 --> 00:58:50.637
So yay,
00:58:50.717 --> 00:58:52.398
I can't wait to hear next week.
00:58:52.539 --> 00:58:55.681
What is the one thing you stopped talking
00:58:55.722 --> 00:58:58.304
yourself out of and started talking
00:58:58.344 --> 00:58:59.545
yourself into?
00:58:59.945 --> 00:59:01.626
And I can't wait to hear the updates
00:59:01.927 --> 00:59:04.349
of what's happened as a result.
00:59:04.528 --> 00:59:07.231
So our last question is always this.
00:59:07.391 --> 00:59:08.192
It is,
00:59:08.713 --> 00:59:10.393
if you wrote one sentence at the bottom
00:59:10.434 --> 00:59:12.876
of today's diary entry, what would it say?
00:59:13.757 --> 00:59:14.958
maybe it's this week.
00:59:15.079 --> 00:59:17.981
I'm going to give myself permission to,
00:59:18.202 --> 00:59:21.425
or I'm going to stop talking myself out
00:59:21.746 --> 00:59:23.467
of this week.
00:59:23.907 --> 00:59:26.331
I'm going to, well, I'll let you go,
00:59:26.451 --> 00:59:26.791
Nicole.
00:59:26.871 --> 00:59:28.152
I need to think about this a little.
00:59:28.572 --> 00:59:28.914
Yeah.
00:59:29.094 --> 00:59:29.173
Well,
00:59:29.193 --> 00:59:30.275
I was trying to think about it too.
00:59:30.414 --> 00:59:31.697
I, you know, um,
00:59:33.309 --> 00:59:34.010
I, for me,
00:59:34.650 --> 00:59:37.956
I think it is be your best friend,
00:59:37.976 --> 00:59:39.577
be your best friend.
00:59:39.858 --> 00:59:42.201
What would your best friend say?
00:59:42.280 --> 00:59:43.963
You know, I think lots of times we.
00:59:45.411 --> 00:59:47.512
I'm just going to briefly share something.
00:59:48.371 --> 00:59:50.172
I'm listening to a book right now by
00:59:50.233 --> 00:59:52.293
Peter Sage.
00:59:52.313 --> 00:59:54.014
And it's a really interesting book.
00:59:54.594 --> 00:59:56.235
But he has a term in there called
00:59:56.335 --> 00:59:56.735
goop.
00:59:57.135 --> 00:59:59.235
And it's good opinions of other people.
00:59:59.936 --> 01:00:02.416
And how often we, you know...
01:00:04.597 --> 01:00:07.577
like defer to others for our dreams.
01:00:07.597 --> 01:00:08.739
Like we'll have this dream and then we
01:00:08.778 --> 01:00:10.400
talk to so-and-so and we talk to so-and-so
01:00:10.420 --> 01:00:11.519
and they talk us out of it.
01:00:12.139 --> 01:00:13.681
And I wanted to bring this up on
01:00:13.740 --> 01:00:15.001
here is that he's like,
01:00:15.041 --> 01:00:17.262
that's what I call goop because he said
01:00:17.302 --> 01:00:18.302
it often stops you.
01:00:18.322 --> 01:00:19.204
Are you in the goop?
01:00:20.123 --> 01:00:21.824
And so and I remember,
01:00:22.204 --> 01:00:23.525
I'm remembering this all the time,
01:00:23.565 --> 01:00:25.565
because is it my opinion that I'm
01:00:25.605 --> 01:00:26.804
listening to my heart,
01:00:27.144 --> 01:00:28.485
what I would really love?
01:00:28.965 --> 01:00:30.346
Or is it somebody else's?
01:00:30.545 --> 01:00:32.005
And so I want to be my best
01:00:32.025 --> 01:00:32.666
friend this week,
01:00:32.706 --> 01:00:34.126
be my best friend of what would be
01:00:34.786 --> 01:00:36.027
so beautiful, right?
01:00:36.327 --> 01:00:38.507
Listen to me, instead of the goop.
01:00:39.027 --> 01:00:39.768
Get out of the goop.
01:00:40.407 --> 01:00:41.188
How about for you, Lori?
01:00:41.208 --> 01:00:42.949
I love that.
01:00:43.088 --> 01:00:45.329
I love catchy things like that,
01:00:45.349 --> 01:00:46.509
that we can remember.
01:00:46.628 --> 01:00:48.050
So I'm going to try to remember that
01:00:48.090 --> 01:00:49.429
this week to get out of the goop.
01:00:51.365 --> 01:00:52.847
And Joe says, I like that.
01:00:52.947 --> 01:00:53.809
Be your best friend.
01:00:53.969 --> 01:00:54.710
So powerful.
01:00:55.010 --> 01:00:55.670
So powerful.
01:00:55.731 --> 01:00:56.030
Yes.
01:00:57.052 --> 01:00:58.052
I think for me,
01:00:59.494 --> 01:01:03.079
my last thought about today and the topic,
01:01:03.239 --> 01:01:05.161
if I wrote one sentence at the bottom
01:01:05.320 --> 01:01:07.603
of my diary, it would be,
01:01:08.003 --> 01:01:11.708
I'm going to give myself permission to
01:01:11.827 --> 01:01:12.268
fail.
01:01:13.510 --> 01:01:16.713
because i'm always going to learn from my
01:01:16.753 --> 01:01:20.056
failures and if i know it's the right
01:01:20.076 --> 01:01:24.019
direction and i go in that direction and
01:01:24.099 --> 01:01:27.402
i actually fail whatever i'm defining
01:01:27.443 --> 01:01:28.143
failure as
01:01:28.784 --> 01:01:30.246
I will learn something.
01:01:30.545 --> 01:01:33.809
So I think that's what my sentence will
01:01:33.829 --> 01:01:34.028
be.
01:01:34.108 --> 01:01:37.411
So thank you guys so much for joining
01:01:37.652 --> 01:01:37.853
us.
01:01:38.092 --> 01:01:39.193
And if you have time,
01:01:39.213 --> 01:01:42.016
you can go ahead and jot down any
01:01:42.077 --> 01:01:44.599
kind of last thought that you have.
01:01:44.798 --> 01:01:46.041
I love that.
01:01:46.081 --> 01:01:46.820
Joe says, bam.
01:01:47.561 --> 01:01:48.623
Lonnie says, goop.
01:01:48.902 --> 01:01:50.422
Good opinions of other people.
01:01:50.623 --> 01:01:50.963
Yes.
01:01:51.103 --> 01:01:52.224
Please remember that.
01:01:52.364 --> 01:01:53.963
So, all right, guys.
01:01:54.023 --> 01:01:55.204
Well, this has been wonderful.
01:01:55.804 --> 01:01:58.204
I really want to thank you for being
01:01:58.244 --> 01:01:59.324
here with us live.
01:01:59.824 --> 01:02:02.626
And if you want to join us next
01:02:02.706 --> 01:02:04.545
week, you can find us on LinkedIn,
01:02:04.666 --> 01:02:06.286
YouTube, and Facebook.
01:02:06.306 --> 01:02:09.067
We actually create events every single
01:02:09.106 --> 01:02:11.907
week in Facebook and in LinkedIn.
01:02:12.047 --> 01:02:13.367
So you can go to our profiles,
01:02:13.447 --> 01:02:14.329
look at our events.
01:02:14.449 --> 01:02:16.028
You can search for the events there.
01:02:16.429 --> 01:02:19.251
that is the shared diary pad podcast.
01:02:19.291 --> 01:02:21.253
So thank you guys for joining us.
01:02:21.452 --> 01:02:22.032
And Nicole,
01:02:22.052 --> 01:02:23.833
do you have any last thoughts before we
01:02:23.914 --> 01:02:25.355
end our time?
01:02:25.474 --> 01:02:26.416
No, you know what, I just,
01:02:27.257 --> 01:02:28.898
I wanted to share that I thought my
01:02:28.938 --> 01:02:29.858
mom was on today.
01:02:30.059 --> 01:02:33.001
And, and I really believe, you know,
01:02:33.300 --> 01:02:34.221
my mom is,
01:02:34.240 --> 01:02:37.222
I hope she doesn't mind me saying that
01:02:37.262 --> 01:02:39.284
she's in her early, early eighties.
01:02:41.590 --> 01:02:42.829
She is amazing to me.
01:02:42.909 --> 01:02:45.831
And I like getting on here and making
01:02:45.851 --> 01:02:46.572
the comments.
01:02:46.771 --> 01:02:47.851
And, you know,
01:02:48.172 --> 01:02:50.012
she's trying all new things with
01:02:50.072 --> 01:02:50.813
technology.
01:02:50.893 --> 01:02:53.393
She's going out with new friends these
01:02:53.414 --> 01:02:55.574
days and all of these things because it's
01:02:55.635 --> 01:02:57.414
expanding her life so much.
01:02:57.896 --> 01:03:00.175
And so I just wanted to shout her
01:03:00.275 --> 01:03:03.498
out today because she has also been in
01:03:03.538 --> 01:03:05.277
my ear telling me not to give up
01:03:05.338 --> 01:03:05.737
on things.
01:03:05.757 --> 01:03:06.838
She's been there, you know,
01:03:06.918 --> 01:03:07.719
sharing stories.
01:03:07.858 --> 01:03:10.039
with me to keep going.
01:03:10.340 --> 01:03:13.041
And so I wanted to say hello to
01:03:13.081 --> 01:03:14.141
my sweet mama today.
01:03:14.280 --> 01:03:16.661
And I'm so inspired by you and what
01:03:16.681 --> 01:03:17.501
you continue to do.
01:03:17.541 --> 01:03:19.003
So thank you for being in my life.
01:03:19.902 --> 01:03:20.202
Love you.
01:03:20.963 --> 01:03:22.184
And so, yes.
01:03:24.246 --> 01:03:24.847
I love it.
01:03:24.867 --> 01:03:26.750
That's the perfect way to end today.
01:03:26.949 --> 01:03:29.873
And shout out to Catherine, Nicole's mom.
01:03:29.992 --> 01:03:30.773
We love you.
01:03:30.793 --> 01:03:32.615
We love that you come here every single
01:03:32.655 --> 01:03:32.896
week.
01:03:32.956 --> 01:03:34.918
And we love that you engage with your
01:03:34.958 --> 01:03:35.498
comments.
01:03:35.778 --> 01:03:38.121
And thank you for being such a cheerleader
01:03:38.202 --> 01:03:39.123
in Nicole's life.
01:03:39.422 --> 01:03:40.244
I'm sure if I knew you,
01:03:40.304 --> 01:03:40.965
I would love you too.
01:03:44.556 --> 01:03:45.556
Yeah, exactly.
01:03:46.056 --> 01:03:46.617
Exactly.
01:03:46.677 --> 01:03:48.378
Well, thanks guys for being with us.
01:03:48.418 --> 01:03:49.217
Thanks for commenting.
01:03:49.237 --> 01:03:50.318
Thanks for joining in.
01:03:50.557 --> 01:03:52.378
If you loved this today,
01:03:52.418 --> 01:03:55.380
please share it with a friend and invite
01:03:55.420 --> 01:03:58.300
them into the conversation next week
01:03:58.340 --> 01:04:01.402
because life is better when the diary is
01:04:01.501 --> 01:04:01.722
open.
01:04:04.400 --> 01:04:06.601
Before we close today's diary,
01:04:06.922 --> 01:04:08.001
we just want to say thank you.
01:04:08.503 --> 01:04:10.103
Thank you for spending your time with us,
01:04:10.403 --> 01:04:11.925
for listening, for reflecting,
01:04:12.025 --> 01:04:13.786
and for being willing to open your heart
01:04:13.846 --> 01:04:14.626
along with ours.
01:04:15.067 --> 01:04:16.788
It truly means more than you know.
01:04:17.268 --> 01:04:19.208
The shared diary isn't just our story,
01:04:19.248 --> 01:04:20.030
it's yours too.
01:04:20.409 --> 01:04:22.170
If today's conversation encouraged you,
01:04:22.251 --> 01:04:22.891
challenged you,
01:04:23.092 --> 01:04:24.693
or reminded you that you're not alone,
01:04:25.052 --> 01:04:26.554
we'd love for you to stay connected.
01:04:27.114 --> 01:04:30.057
You can find us at shareddiarypodcast.com
01:04:30.077 --> 01:04:31.920
where you'll discover episode archives,
01:04:31.980 --> 01:04:32.721
resources,
01:04:32.780 --> 01:04:34.422
and ways to connect with our community.
01:04:35.003 --> 01:04:36.545
If you'd like to reach out to Lori,
01:04:36.565 --> 01:04:37.646
Debbie, or Nicole,
01:04:38.027 --> 01:04:39.690
you'll find all of our information there
01:04:39.710 --> 01:04:40.090
as well.
01:04:40.590 --> 01:04:41.913
We'd love to hear your story.
01:04:42.548 --> 01:04:44.570
If you're watching on YouTube, Facebook,
01:04:44.750 --> 01:04:45.570
or LinkedIn,
01:04:45.630 --> 01:04:47.492
don't forget to like this episode,
01:04:47.572 --> 01:04:49.472
leave us a comment and subscribe so you
01:04:49.572 --> 01:04:50.793
never miss a conversation.
01:04:51.373 --> 01:04:53.114
And if you're listening on Apple Podcasts,
01:04:53.135 --> 01:04:55.396
Spotify, or wherever you enjoy podcasts,
01:04:55.436 --> 01:04:56.577
be sure to follow the show,
01:04:56.898 --> 01:04:58.559
leave a rating and share it with someone
01:04:58.599 --> 01:05:00.320
who might need to hear today's message.
01:05:01.039 --> 01:05:02.481
Most importantly, keep showing up,
01:05:02.820 --> 01:05:03.460
keep growing,
01:05:03.722 --> 01:05:05.943
keep sharing your story because life is
01:05:05.983 --> 01:05:07.443
better when the diary is open.
01:05:07.884 --> 01:05:08.704
We're here for you.
01:05:08.963 --> 01:05:09.664
You're not alone.
01:05:10.005 --> 01:05:12.365
We'll see you next time on the share
01:05:12.385 --> 01:05:12.726
diary.