When Is Enough Enough? Why We Never Let Ourselves Arrive

WEBVTT
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Welcome back to The Shared Diary.
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This is the space where the private
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becomes public and the stories we usually
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keep to ourselves finally find a home.
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I'm Lori.
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I'm Debbie.
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And I'm Nicole.
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We are three women with no secrets,
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just life.
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Because life is always better when the
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diary is open.
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So grab a seat, lean in,
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and let's get into today's entry.
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Well, welcome everyone.
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We've got our friend Debbie back with us
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today.
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Debbie, we're so, so glad you're here.
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And you know,
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we were joking before because we have this
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little nickname for ourselves,
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two blondes and a brownie.
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And I'm like, Debbie, you're a blonde now.
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We can't say that anymore.
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Three blondes.
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I know, and it wasn't planned at all.
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Sometimes we have matching shirts.
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Today we just have matching hair.
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I love it.
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I love it.
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Well, we're so happy you're back, Debbie.
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And we're going to get into today's topic,
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which is so near and dear to my
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heart.
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And I can identify with this so well.
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It's when is enough enough.
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And, you know,
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we've all been there where we get to
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a place in life where we
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We say we want more, you know,
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and we're not acknowledging where we've
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been and how far we've come.
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So welcome everyone, by the way,
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to the shared diary podcast, three women,
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no secrets, just life.
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This is going to be a fun conversation.
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It might challenge you a little bit
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though.
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So get ready.
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But we think that life is better when
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the diary is open.
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So we're opening up our hearts,
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our diaries.
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We're talking about things that are
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important in life.
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We are inviting you to come along on
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this journey with us.
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And we want you to use your comments
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to communicate with us.
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We're going to be asking questions.
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We want you to answer them too.
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And so please chime in.
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If you're on Facebook, you can comment.
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YouTube, also LinkedIn,
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all three places we're live at the same
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time, love technology,
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but we really want you to chime in.
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So I'm just going to kick us off
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today with a diary entry.
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I love this.
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Nicole, thank you, by the way,
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for having this idea because last week
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when I was reading it, I was like,
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oh my gosh,
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this could be like me writing in my
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diary.
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So here we go.
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Dear diary,
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someone said something to me lately that
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I've been able to stop thinking about.
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They looked at me and said,
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do you even realize how far you've come?
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And honestly,
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I didn't know what to say because my
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first thought wasn't,
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yeah i really have my first thought was
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but i'm still not where i want to
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be i've worked hard i've sacrificed i've
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kept showing up kept learning kept trying
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and somehow i still doesn't feel like
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enough why do i always forget everything
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i've already accomplished why do i always
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see what's left instead of how far i've
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come so today i'm asking myself when is
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enough actually enough
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So welcome with that.
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And I see Lonnie is here.
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So glad to have Lonnie.
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And also Therese.
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Lonnie is driving to her massage.
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Well, okay.
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Thanks for the invite, Lonnie.
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And hello, Therese.
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Hello, everyone.
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Thank you for joining us.
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So what do you think?
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I'm going to start with you, Debbie.
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What about this topic really hits you in
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the heart?
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All of it.
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Nicole, you're really,
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really good at not only sharing what
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you've gone through,
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because it's that lived experience.
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I know these people,
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but also tapping into your ideal audience.
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And you nailed it.
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Like how many times do we have a
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fleeing success?
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Oh my God, that was amazing.
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And then just move on and never quite
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feel like you've done it.
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And I've spent a lot of time in
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July reflecting.
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So I know I'm guilty of this and
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it hurts.
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I think it hurts even more as a
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coach because we teach this.
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We teach it and we still do it.
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And I believe that's why we need to
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be in community with each other so that
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we can catch each other when we do
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this.
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Absolutely.
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Nicole, what do you think?
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Well, yeah, Debbie,
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when you just said what hurts so much
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is I'm a coach and I still do
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these things.
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I can feel that in my heart.
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I'm like, yes.
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And it wasn't even that long ago I
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was having a conversation with my mom and
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it was a
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It wasn't a great day.
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I was having a really challenging day and
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some things were going not the way I
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would love it.
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And, you know,
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it's funny when things start to go down
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a bit of a rabbit hole,
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you can start going into that evidence
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bank of all the things that aren't right
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and all the things I haven't done and
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all that.
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And she had to stop me and she's
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like, cool.
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you're forgetting like all the things that
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you've got,
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like has gone you to this point or
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whatever it was at that time.
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And I, and I was like, thank you.
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Thank you for the reminder because
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sometimes we just can't see it.
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And the more that we go down those
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rabbit holes,
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we build this evidence of all that we
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don't have.
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Like we go into all the things that
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we do not have and we forget all
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the things that we've done.
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And so, yes, Debbie, I agree.
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It is sometimes like,
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It's like, why,
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why do I continue to do this?
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You know?
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And so I think this is going to
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be a good discussion today.
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And how about for you, Lori,
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how has that showed up for you when
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like the top of being,
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when is enough enough?
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What is,
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where has it showed up for you in
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your life?
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feel like it shows up for me every
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single day.
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But honestly,
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I think where it stemmed from for me
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was being a competitive athlete.
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So I was a gymnast.
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So I was told, you know,
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unless you made a perfect ten,
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it was never enough.
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And, you know,
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now that we don't have that scoring
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system, if you guys know,
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it's not ten anymore.
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It's like, I don't know, seventeen.
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But I
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Just having that ingrained in my life,
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four hours a day,
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every single day of the week for so
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long, it's really hard to deprogram that.
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I didn't realize it,
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but I carried a lot of that into
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my life.
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Some of it serves me well because it
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propels me forward and it helps me make
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decisions
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choices to kind of go for it,
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if you could say that,
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do things that make that matter and kind
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of make a splash.
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But honestly,
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unless you get that dopamine hit of the
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success,
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it's kind of frustrating and you feel like
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you're just never, never making it right.
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So I it's really,
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really close to my heart.
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And I had to go through a time
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in my life where I had to deconstruct
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that belief.
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And I hope that I'm doing better.
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I think I am.
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But it's it's it's always it's always
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work, right?
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We're always working on it.
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So what do you guys think when you're
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listening?
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What do you think of when you hear,
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when is enough enough?
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Has there ever been a time in your
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life where you have thought,
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I'm just not doing as well as I
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really want to, right?
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So share in the comments.
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We would love to hear from you as
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well.
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The theme for today,
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we're kind of exploring why so many of
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us keep moving the finish line.
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I like that thought that we're...
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We're on this marathon, right?
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And then we cross the finish line,
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but then we've already set the next one.
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And so it doesn't allow us time to,
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like Debbie, like you mentioned,
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to reflect, to look back, to celebrate.
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We should be celebrating so much in our
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lives, and we just don't.
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I would love I would love to know
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your thoughts on this question.
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Our anchor quote for today is maybe
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success isn't the problem.
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Maybe it's that we never let ourselves
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arrive.
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So I love that so much.
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But my next question really kind of stings
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or to think about this is is interesting
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to me because I can think of several
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times in my life when this has happened.
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But has someone ever pointed out how far
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you've come before you could even see it
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yourself?
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I would love to know the answer to
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that question, Debbie.
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yeah and i think that i'm hard on
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myself by who complicate compliments me
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right so interesting enough i was an
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award-winning photographer and if one of
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my friends told me it was great i
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would be like yeah but you don't know
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like your standards aren't high enough
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right like that that was the thoughts
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going through my brain not that i didn't
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love my friends and appreciate their
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comments it just didn't add
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to my so you can see the pattern
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of the judgment and comparison yeah
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compared to what right so interesting
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enough I might have fellow people like you
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that will say something and I'll be like
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oh
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Maybe I am like validation.
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Oh, maybe.
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Or I could have a student or somebody
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that's paying me that says how great I
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am.
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And I'd be like, yeah,
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but I have to be right.
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A different answer,
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a different mindset or a different thing.
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but it's when my family or friend group
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actually say something to me because they
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aren't my ideal client.
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They aren't paying me.
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And they say something about what I'm
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seeing, Debbie.
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And then I wait, oh,
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maybe I am making a difference.
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So again,
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I go back to the judgment and comparison,
00:10:15.453 --> 00:10:19.096
the conditions we put on success and go,
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what's the narrative saying to me?
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What's that self-talk?
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yeah um so yeah i'd love to hear
00:10:25.361 --> 00:10:28.926
from you nicole because i know you think
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this way as well i i
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Oh, yeah.
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Conversations.
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You know,
00:10:36.178 --> 00:10:38.360
it's so interesting because who have
00:10:38.399 --> 00:10:40.179
called me out quite often have been my
00:10:40.220 --> 00:10:40.639
kids.
00:10:40.919 --> 00:10:42.179
And I you know,
00:10:42.200 --> 00:10:44.740
when I'm like not showing up the way
00:10:45.201 --> 00:10:47.562
I have professed that I should be or
00:10:47.601 --> 00:10:48.361
whatever it is.
00:10:48.402 --> 00:10:48.601
Right.
00:10:49.302 --> 00:10:51.402
And and it's interesting because they will
00:10:51.422 --> 00:10:53.322
reflect back to me that.
00:10:54.062 --> 00:10:57.125
what I would love them to believe and
00:10:57.225 --> 00:10:58.585
they will say it to me and I'm
00:10:58.644 --> 00:11:01.086
like oh my gosh why am I like
00:11:01.125 --> 00:11:03.327
they're like they're like saying to me all
00:11:03.368 --> 00:11:05.509
the things that I often say to them
00:11:05.528 --> 00:11:07.590
and they're like why are you not believing
00:11:07.649 --> 00:11:10.171
it like why do you sometimes not believe
00:11:10.211 --> 00:11:12.511
it or why do you not see it
00:11:12.711 --> 00:11:14.192
and what I what happens to me a
00:11:14.212 --> 00:11:15.692
lot of times on those kind of
00:11:15.712 --> 00:11:16.333
conversations
00:11:17.398 --> 00:11:18.278
is I can go into a lot of
00:11:18.399 --> 00:11:20.899
judgment of myself for feeling the way I
00:11:20.940 --> 00:11:21.179
did,
00:11:21.200 --> 00:11:23.481
like for going down that rabbit hole or
00:11:23.922 --> 00:11:27.403
feeling that I haven't set the best
00:11:27.423 --> 00:11:28.124
example.
00:11:29.825 --> 00:11:32.125
And then I've been realizing lately,
00:11:32.166 --> 00:11:32.626
you know what?
00:11:32.667 --> 00:11:33.826
There are gonna be moments that are gonna
00:11:33.846 --> 00:11:34.107
be tough.
00:11:34.227 --> 00:11:35.648
There are gonna be moments that I will
00:11:36.009 --> 00:11:36.568
have these,
00:11:37.318 --> 00:11:40.504
down times and conversations that I don't
00:11:40.563 --> 00:11:41.065
always like,
00:11:41.085 --> 00:11:44.850
but I love that I have surround myself
00:11:44.870 --> 00:11:46.972
with people that continue to like,
00:11:46.993 --> 00:11:48.375
just say, come on,
00:11:48.394 --> 00:11:49.677
get back on the horse.
00:11:49.736 --> 00:11:50.979
Come on, you can do this again.
00:11:50.999 --> 00:11:52.600
Like, I love that.
00:11:53.381 --> 00:11:53.643
And I,
00:11:54.062 --> 00:11:54.884
So yeah, I think I,
00:11:55.183 --> 00:11:56.644
but my kids have pointed it out to
00:11:56.664 --> 00:11:57.125
me and I,
00:11:57.306 --> 00:11:58.605
and those are the times where I'm like,
00:11:59.246 --> 00:12:01.248
I have a real check-in on myself.
00:12:01.288 --> 00:12:02.489
Like what is my narrative?
00:12:02.509 --> 00:12:04.250
What am I saying to myself over and
00:12:04.370 --> 00:12:07.091
over again that they are actually hearing
00:12:07.712 --> 00:12:09.714
or by my actions or whatever it is.
00:12:10.274 --> 00:12:11.696
And I don't want that.
00:12:11.716 --> 00:12:12.676
So it's a good check.
00:12:12.716 --> 00:12:14.298
Like it's always like a check,
00:12:14.477 --> 00:12:15.418
check myself right now.
00:12:15.457 --> 00:12:15.698
Right.
00:12:15.719 --> 00:12:17.960
It's I I'm, I'm grateful for that.
00:12:18.100 --> 00:12:20.581
So how about for you, Lori?
00:12:20.601 --> 00:12:23.344
Has that, have people been like,
00:12:23.679 --> 00:12:25.660
Lori, you were amazing to all the things.
00:12:25.721 --> 00:12:27.562
And then you're like, I didn't see that.
00:12:27.581 --> 00:12:27.841
Yeah.
00:12:27.981 --> 00:12:29.822
I mean,
00:12:30.303 --> 00:12:32.524
I definitely resonate with this concept
00:12:32.565 --> 00:12:35.346
and I love that your kids remind you.
00:12:35.586 --> 00:12:36.606
They're obviously,
00:12:36.667 --> 00:12:39.328
you're obviously involving them in your
00:12:39.369 --> 00:12:39.908
life,
00:12:40.068 --> 00:12:43.571
which is so cool because they can relate
00:12:43.591 --> 00:12:45.831
to what you're teaching and how you're
00:12:45.873 --> 00:12:46.513
coaching.
00:12:46.673 --> 00:12:49.014
And then they remind you, you know,
00:12:49.114 --> 00:12:50.154
Nicole, mom.
00:12:50.174 --> 00:12:50.254
Yeah.
00:12:52.275 --> 00:12:54.216
You teach this all the time, you know,
00:12:54.298 --> 00:12:56.879
and so I love how kids can just
00:12:56.958 --> 00:12:57.559
do that for us.
00:12:57.919 --> 00:12:59.000
I always used to say, like,
00:12:59.400 --> 00:13:01.522
my children were raising me as I was
00:13:01.562 --> 00:13:02.143
raising them.
00:13:02.163 --> 00:13:04.024
And it's so true.
00:13:04.043 --> 00:13:05.345
It's so true.
00:13:05.384 --> 00:13:05.784
But yeah,
00:13:05.884 --> 00:13:08.826
I can remember when I first launched the
00:13:08.866 --> 00:13:11.609
Be Awesome Network and I was in a
00:13:11.649 --> 00:13:13.250
program that was teaching me kind of how
00:13:13.270 --> 00:13:14.350
to run a Facebook group,
00:13:14.390 --> 00:13:15.172
how to grow it.
00:13:15.912 --> 00:13:18.234
And I was I was making all of
00:13:18.254 --> 00:13:20.855
these strides and in and beating all of
00:13:20.894 --> 00:13:23.096
these records of the other students who
00:13:23.136 --> 00:13:23.976
were going through it,
00:13:24.017 --> 00:13:25.999
like catching up to the class above me
00:13:26.058 --> 00:13:26.739
and all the things.
00:13:27.259 --> 00:13:28.720
And I'm not saying that because I think
00:13:28.760 --> 00:13:29.160
I'm great.
00:13:29.221 --> 00:13:30.581
I'm saying that because that's what I was
00:13:30.621 --> 00:13:32.903
trained to do my whole life is just
00:13:32.962 --> 00:13:33.563
go, go, go.
00:13:34.464 --> 00:13:37.726
And they would compliment me and be like,
00:13:37.826 --> 00:13:38.868
oh, my gosh, that's amazing.
00:13:38.888 --> 00:13:39.668
That's incredible.
00:13:39.808 --> 00:13:43.413
And I would minimize what they were saying
00:13:43.653 --> 00:13:45.774
and give excuses as to, oh, well,
00:13:45.875 --> 00:13:47.657
I'm just, you know, I just, you know,
00:13:47.736 --> 00:13:49.697
I don't have a husband.
00:13:49.778 --> 00:13:51.320
I don't have kids to take care of.
00:13:51.539 --> 00:13:52.721
And I would like give all of the
00:13:52.740 --> 00:13:54.743
reasons why I would have time to do
00:13:55.023 --> 00:13:55.982
what I was doing,
00:13:56.203 --> 00:13:58.465
but not actually receive the compliment.
00:13:58.524 --> 00:14:01.246
So I think that that was a key
00:14:01.287 --> 00:14:02.067
lesson for me.
00:14:02.187 --> 00:14:03.668
And when someone said,
00:14:03.729 --> 00:14:07.152
when someone compliments you, just say,
00:14:07.371 --> 00:14:07.991
thank you.
00:14:08.153 --> 00:14:10.173
Don't say thank you, but, or don't say,
00:14:10.453 --> 00:14:12.475
oh, thanks, but, you know, so there's no,
00:14:12.576 --> 00:14:14.236
but it's just, thank you.
00:14:14.277 --> 00:14:15.457
Yeah.
00:14:15.677 --> 00:14:19.041
no buts no buts no no buts so
00:14:19.160 --> 00:14:22.224
yeah i definitely resonate with that
00:14:22.303 --> 00:14:25.567
concept and and thank you guys for being
00:14:25.628 --> 00:14:28.509
here and contributing i i want to go
00:14:28.529 --> 00:14:32.793
back to teresa's uh therese her comp her
00:14:32.854 --> 00:14:34.995
comment that you know yeah but you just
00:14:35.076 --> 00:14:36.457
love me and that's why you say that
00:14:36.618 --> 00:14:38.019
so a lot of times that's what we
00:14:38.038 --> 00:14:39.461
do like debbie what you were saying about
00:14:39.520 --> 00:14:40.260
photography
00:14:41.042 --> 00:14:41.322
You know,
00:14:41.363 --> 00:14:44.086
if my mom compliments me and this drives
00:14:44.105 --> 00:14:45.427
me crazy, too, with my kids,
00:14:45.447 --> 00:14:46.668
because if I compliment them,
00:14:46.708 --> 00:14:48.150
they feel like, you know, well, your mom,
00:14:48.191 --> 00:14:49.032
you have to say that.
00:14:50.754 --> 00:14:51.774
So true, right?
00:14:51.914 --> 00:14:54.336
So I think it's a great lesson to
00:14:54.376 --> 00:14:57.578
just engage in this thought and take it
00:14:57.619 --> 00:14:59.259
to the next level and just say,
00:14:59.700 --> 00:15:01.322
whatever comes my way,
00:15:01.841 --> 00:15:03.783
whatever it is that comes my way,
00:15:04.024 --> 00:15:04.683
receive it.
00:15:04.864 --> 00:15:07.225
Because that's, yeah, exactly right,
00:15:07.265 --> 00:15:07.566
Debbie.
00:15:08.067 --> 00:15:11.308
So that kind of leads me to the
00:15:11.328 --> 00:15:13.610
next question, which is,
00:15:16.011 --> 00:15:19.153
can someone be ambitious and still be
00:15:20.054 --> 00:15:21.336
deeply content.
00:15:22.496 --> 00:15:26.280
I think that it's a struggle when you're
00:15:26.321 --> 00:15:28.361
ambitious to be content.
00:15:28.623 --> 00:15:30.865
And what do you think, Debbie?
00:15:30.904 --> 00:15:32.086
Well, that's a great question.
00:15:32.725 --> 00:15:33.506
I guess, again,
00:15:33.547 --> 00:15:35.649
it goes by what's your definition of those
00:15:35.688 --> 00:15:36.448
two things?
00:15:36.909 --> 00:15:40.232
Ambitious, striving, high achiever,
00:15:40.993 --> 00:15:43.174
wants the best, knows there's more,
00:15:44.203 --> 00:15:47.327
and content, satisfied, fulfilled.
00:15:47.607 --> 00:15:49.309
I think it easily can happen.
00:15:49.370 --> 00:15:51.072
That's that truth and alignment.
00:15:51.653 --> 00:15:54.917
You can always be looking for what could
00:15:54.996 --> 00:15:55.658
I do better?
00:15:55.697 --> 00:15:56.458
How can I grow?
00:15:56.499 --> 00:15:57.379
How can I evolve?
00:15:57.500 --> 00:16:00.302
And still be completely satisfied with
00:16:00.342 --> 00:16:01.924
where you are and the growth that you're
00:16:01.965 --> 00:16:02.926
having at the time.
00:16:03.726 --> 00:16:07.509
And you can switch really easily when you
00:16:07.548 --> 00:16:08.749
get out of alignment.
00:16:08.828 --> 00:16:11.129
And I really feel like it's that simple.
00:16:11.710 --> 00:16:14.191
It's like when we are in alignment,
00:16:14.291 --> 00:16:16.892
everything is working for us, through us.
00:16:17.392 --> 00:16:18.493
We're hearing everything.
00:16:19.181 --> 00:16:22.245
intuition we're taking aligned action and
00:16:22.265 --> 00:16:24.308
then all of a sudden fear or some
00:16:24.349 --> 00:16:28.475
bs story or an old habit comes in
00:16:28.554 --> 00:16:31.418
sneaks in throws us off kilter and all
00:16:31.458 --> 00:16:34.102
of a sudden we can go down a
00:16:35.725 --> 00:16:37.566
I'm not good enough.
00:16:37.746 --> 00:16:38.966
I need to learn more.
00:16:39.047 --> 00:16:40.607
What was I even thinking?
00:16:41.389 --> 00:16:42.369
And again,
00:16:43.009 --> 00:16:45.171
I'll admit I can do it too.
00:16:45.291 --> 00:16:47.152
I don't do it very often anymore,
00:16:47.472 --> 00:16:49.254
but if I didn't have a coach or
00:16:49.293 --> 00:16:50.794
if I wasn't surrounding myself with
00:16:50.835 --> 00:16:51.235
people,
00:16:51.674 --> 00:16:53.416
I would be right where I was ten
00:16:53.436 --> 00:16:57.278
years ago where that was my narrative or
00:16:57.318 --> 00:16:58.980
fifteen years ago, whatever it was.
00:16:59.519 --> 00:17:01.321
We have to check in on what is
00:17:01.400 --> 00:17:01.961
our narrative?
00:17:02.022 --> 00:17:03.522
What is our self-trust?
00:17:04.623 --> 00:17:07.084
Nicole, you always often,
00:17:07.104 --> 00:17:09.065
I'll say it this way, you often say,
00:17:09.105 --> 00:17:10.645
Debbie, but you're so courageous.
00:17:11.786 --> 00:17:13.326
And again, I will say,
00:17:13.946 --> 00:17:15.548
I will do more for others than I
00:17:15.567 --> 00:17:16.708
will do for myself.
00:17:16.887 --> 00:17:19.430
If I was doing this strictly for me,
00:17:19.809 --> 00:17:21.150
I wouldn't have done any of it or
00:17:21.269 --> 00:17:22.191
very little of it.
00:17:23.136 --> 00:17:24.897
But when I see a need out there
00:17:24.958 --> 00:17:25.919
in the industry,
00:17:26.038 --> 00:17:28.799
or we're having a conversation in a room
00:17:28.819 --> 00:17:29.441
like this,
00:17:29.500 --> 00:17:31.662
and I see that I have a solution
00:17:31.682 --> 00:17:33.903
to somebody else's problem, I just do it.
00:17:34.423 --> 00:17:36.183
And I don't know if that's courageous,
00:17:36.243 --> 00:17:38.105
but that is definitely aligned action.
00:17:38.224 --> 00:17:40.346
I'm listening, I'm hearing,
00:17:40.467 --> 00:17:42.468
and I'm knowing that I have a solution.
00:17:45.329 --> 00:17:46.109
I love that, Debbie.
00:17:46.130 --> 00:17:47.310
And I, yes,
00:17:47.411 --> 00:17:49.290
I have said that to you many times,
00:17:49.451 --> 00:17:50.171
how courageous.
00:17:50.191 --> 00:17:51.031
But I think, you know,
00:17:52.991 --> 00:17:54.613
what I love when I see you do
00:17:54.653 --> 00:17:56.932
that is I really see you take the
00:17:57.113 --> 00:17:59.294
ego out of it and be like,
00:17:59.413 --> 00:18:00.513
I'm just here to help.
00:18:00.594 --> 00:18:01.974
Like, I'm here to help you.
00:18:02.035 --> 00:18:02.154
So
00:18:02.974 --> 00:18:04.415
it doesn't necessarily matter what other
00:18:04.435 --> 00:18:05.997
people are going to judge me or whatever
00:18:06.057 --> 00:18:06.537
it is.
00:18:06.696 --> 00:18:08.377
I know that I can help somebody.
00:18:08.498 --> 00:18:09.858
And I, I love that.
00:18:10.019 --> 00:18:10.659
I, and I,
00:18:10.680 --> 00:18:12.721
that's what I always admire about it
00:18:12.740 --> 00:18:14.682
because it comes from a very pure place.
00:18:14.882 --> 00:18:15.001
And,
00:18:15.582 --> 00:18:17.482
and so I thank you for always sharing
00:18:17.844 --> 00:18:18.064
your,
00:18:18.203 --> 00:18:21.526
or being an example of that for me
00:18:21.806 --> 00:18:22.226
always.
00:18:22.846 --> 00:18:24.748
Um, and this is a good question.
00:18:24.768 --> 00:18:26.048
They like content,
00:18:26.067 --> 00:18:27.489
being content and ambitious.
00:18:27.509 --> 00:18:31.030
And I, you know, for me, I think,
00:18:32.011 --> 00:18:32.132
um,
00:18:32.938 --> 00:18:34.440
Ambition is my contentment.
00:18:34.480 --> 00:18:36.801
Sometimes it's like what makes me happy is
00:18:36.862 --> 00:18:39.184
to actually go and try to do things
00:18:39.204 --> 00:18:41.166
like I, I love growing.
00:18:41.386 --> 00:18:42.868
And so for me,
00:18:43.328 --> 00:18:45.291
if I wasn't doing that,
00:18:45.751 --> 00:18:47.374
I don't think I would be as content.
00:18:47.433 --> 00:18:48.134
So for me,
00:18:48.295 --> 00:18:49.936
it's like part of it for me, it's,
00:18:50.497 --> 00:18:51.077
it's like,
00:18:51.298 --> 00:18:51.518
it's
00:18:52.439 --> 00:18:54.961
it's that permission to grow and expand.
00:18:55.221 --> 00:18:55.441
And,
00:18:56.521 --> 00:18:58.983
and for me that if I was not
00:18:59.144 --> 00:18:59.544
doing that,
00:18:59.644 --> 00:19:01.105
I think I'd be quite discontent.
00:19:01.204 --> 00:19:03.286
I would have a lot of discontent because
00:19:03.326 --> 00:19:03.807
it is,
00:19:03.886 --> 00:19:06.608
it's something that just lights me up.
00:19:06.648 --> 00:19:08.349
Can I get to the other side sometimes
00:19:08.369 --> 00:19:11.271
where I'm going too hard and like working
00:19:11.311 --> 00:19:14.173
my buns off and not saying necessarily the
00:19:14.193 --> 00:19:16.095
good things to myself and then not being
00:19:16.134 --> 00:19:16.494
content.
00:19:16.515 --> 00:19:17.276
Yeah, for sure.
00:19:17.296 --> 00:19:17.375
Yeah.
00:19:17.895 --> 00:19:19.136
And so I have to balance it.
00:19:19.176 --> 00:19:21.880
I have to balance the like the desire
00:19:21.900 --> 00:19:24.082
to grow and all the things and then
00:19:24.221 --> 00:19:27.064
be like still happy with the pace it's
00:19:27.104 --> 00:19:28.525
going at and where I'm at.
00:19:29.566 --> 00:19:31.468
I have to really watch all of those
00:19:31.528 --> 00:19:32.509
things while I'm in it.
00:19:32.909 --> 00:19:34.750
But I know with my personality,
00:19:36.352 --> 00:19:37.553
I don't think I'd be content if I
00:19:37.573 --> 00:19:38.114
wasn't growing.
00:19:38.394 --> 00:19:39.977
So it's one of those things.
00:19:40.017 --> 00:19:40.257
Yeah.
00:19:40.396 --> 00:19:41.638
It's just one of those things, right?
00:19:41.659 --> 00:19:43.201
I, I, it,
00:19:43.582 --> 00:19:46.165
it makes me feel like I'm living on
00:19:46.246 --> 00:19:48.809
purpose and I'm doing the thing that I'm
00:19:48.849 --> 00:19:49.371
meant to do.
00:19:49.791 --> 00:19:51.114
So what about for you, Lori?
00:19:51.960 --> 00:19:53.182
I think that's such a great point.
00:19:53.241 --> 00:19:57.106
I was thinking similar thoughts when you
00:19:57.126 --> 00:19:58.949
were talking and when Debbie was asking
00:19:58.969 --> 00:20:02.512
you, because I think you can,
00:20:02.553 --> 00:20:04.816
I think it's possible to be content and
00:20:04.955 --> 00:20:05.676
ambitious.
00:20:06.137 --> 00:20:09.201
I think it matters how you're living and
00:20:09.281 --> 00:20:10.462
how you're thinking.
00:20:11.564 --> 00:20:12.986
in order to have that balance.
00:20:13.546 --> 00:20:14.267
For me,
00:20:14.767 --> 00:20:16.808
I know I for sure lived a lot
00:20:16.848 --> 00:20:19.471
of my life not being content,
00:20:19.671 --> 00:20:21.011
but being ambitious.
00:20:21.511 --> 00:20:24.875
And it's hard because the ambition drives
00:20:24.894 --> 00:20:25.736
you forward,
00:20:26.276 --> 00:20:30.579
but contentment is not laziness, right?
00:20:30.640 --> 00:20:33.182
I think I was equaling those two that
00:20:33.481 --> 00:20:36.864
Just being content and resting isn't
00:20:37.124 --> 00:20:37.864
laziness.
00:20:37.983 --> 00:20:40.125
So I think I was just programmed for
00:20:40.184 --> 00:20:43.465
so long to go, go, go, and do,
00:20:43.506 --> 00:20:44.186
do, do,
00:20:44.727 --> 00:20:48.949
that contentment was not necessarily
00:20:48.969 --> 00:20:49.068
there.
00:20:49.669 --> 00:20:50.788
natural thing for me.
00:20:51.249 --> 00:20:53.109
So I love the saying,
00:20:54.250 --> 00:20:57.549
we are human beings, not human doings.
00:20:57.750 --> 00:20:59.691
I just always try to remember that to
00:20:59.891 --> 00:21:01.490
be is enough, right?
00:21:01.790 --> 00:21:03.151
Just to be is enough.
00:21:03.191 --> 00:21:04.592
And I want to say, hello, mom.
00:21:04.852 --> 00:21:06.332
My mom is tuning in.
00:21:07.031 --> 00:21:09.313
Nicole, Diane, hello.
00:21:10.113 --> 00:21:11.712
Nicole's mom tunes in too.
00:21:11.752 --> 00:21:13.873
So this is the thing, right?
00:21:15.453 --> 00:21:16.453
She's going to tell me, oh,
00:21:16.473 --> 00:21:17.294
that was so great.
00:21:19.126 --> 00:21:19.828
And I'm going to go,
00:21:20.451 --> 00:21:21.713
I'm going to have to say thank you.
00:21:23.963 --> 00:21:25.345
And you're going to receive that
00:21:25.384 --> 00:21:26.005
compliment.
00:21:26.045 --> 00:21:28.246
And what a beautiful example of what that
00:21:28.286 --> 00:21:28.786
looked like.
00:21:29.705 --> 00:21:30.386
You know, Lori,
00:21:30.467 --> 00:21:32.688
would you mind if I expanded on a
00:21:32.768 --> 00:21:34.327
conversation a couple times?
00:21:34.367 --> 00:21:36.909
And even in podcasts that I haven't been
00:21:36.969 --> 00:21:37.670
with you on,
00:21:37.789 --> 00:21:40.570
I've heard you say multiple times this
00:21:40.651 --> 00:21:42.692
thing about being an athlete and having
00:21:42.731 --> 00:21:44.511
that training in your brain.
00:21:45.673 --> 00:21:47.673
And now that you have children and
00:21:47.713 --> 00:21:48.453
grandchildren,
00:21:49.193 --> 00:21:53.076
do you wonder if these competitive sports,
00:21:54.335 --> 00:21:56.976
like there's so much benefit to an athlete
00:21:57.016 --> 00:21:58.736
and the skill sets that you get.
00:21:58.776 --> 00:22:00.317
And, you know,
00:22:00.436 --> 00:22:02.176
both of you guys have competitive.
00:22:03.037 --> 00:22:04.377
And it makes me wonder,
00:22:05.298 --> 00:22:09.118
are we learning from what maybe we felt
00:22:09.179 --> 00:22:10.179
was a hindrance?
00:22:10.219 --> 00:22:11.239
And it's no right or wrong.
00:22:11.278 --> 00:22:12.240
And definitely, mom,
00:22:12.539 --> 00:22:14.240
we're not blaming you at all.
00:22:14.599 --> 00:22:17.800
But how can we do better by not
00:22:19.260 --> 00:22:21.325
programming somebody to think they're only
00:22:21.384 --> 00:22:23.789
successful if they achieve a certain thing
00:22:23.851 --> 00:22:26.154
or an award or get told they're pretty?
00:22:26.536 --> 00:22:28.721
What about when it comes from inside and
00:22:28.760 --> 00:22:30.564
it's truly aligned to your soul?
00:22:32.226 --> 00:22:32.306
Lori,
00:22:32.326 --> 00:22:34.428
would you take us down that road a
00:22:34.448 --> 00:22:34.808
little bit?
00:22:34.888 --> 00:22:36.911
Such a great question because, and I know,
00:22:36.951 --> 00:22:39.712
Nicole, you probably identify this too,
00:22:40.134 --> 00:22:42.516
but as a dancer, Nicole,
00:22:42.796 --> 00:22:44.176
everything was so focused.
00:22:44.457 --> 00:22:46.098
I know this because I was in gymnastics
00:22:46.138 --> 00:22:47.819
and ice skating is also the same way.
00:22:48.141 --> 00:22:50.762
Everything is so focused on your body and
00:22:50.823 --> 00:22:54.445
how you look and not necessarily how you
00:22:54.486 --> 00:22:54.866
perform.
00:22:55.366 --> 00:22:57.729
I even heard my coach, I mean...
00:22:58.710 --> 00:22:59.811
I'm not going to say his name,
00:23:00.231 --> 00:23:02.615
but my coach would have a fat group.
00:23:02.755 --> 00:23:05.398
And so if you were, we did weigh-ins.
00:23:05.439 --> 00:23:08.102
If you were over your ideal weight,
00:23:08.442 --> 00:23:10.744
you got put in the whales.
00:23:10.884 --> 00:23:12.847
But if you were the right- No.
00:23:13.929 --> 00:23:14.169
Yeah.
00:23:14.189 --> 00:23:15.269
You got put in the minnows.
00:23:15.369 --> 00:23:16.809
You were a minnow or a whale.
00:23:17.250 --> 00:23:19.172
And so like that pressure.
00:23:19.551 --> 00:23:21.532
So I think a lot of it has
00:23:21.553 --> 00:23:23.894
to do with the coaching because I started
00:23:23.913 --> 00:23:25.375
gymnastics because I was flipping around
00:23:25.394 --> 00:23:27.215
the house on furniture and my parents were
00:23:27.236 --> 00:23:29.557
like, she obviously wants to be flipping.
00:23:29.656 --> 00:23:30.997
So why don't you get into this?
00:23:31.037 --> 00:23:32.377
You know, and I loved it, loved it,
00:23:32.417 --> 00:23:34.898
loved it from four to twenty two.
00:23:34.959 --> 00:23:36.779
Like I took one year off in that
00:23:36.900 --> 00:23:38.121
whole time span.
00:23:38.621 --> 00:23:40.622
So it did come from my heart and
00:23:40.662 --> 00:23:43.163
it was an expression of who I was
00:23:43.604 --> 00:23:45.184
because I loved the activity.
00:23:45.325 --> 00:23:46.744
I loved the team.
00:23:47.185 --> 00:23:48.286
I loved the coaching.
00:23:48.405 --> 00:23:49.666
I like, like you, Nicole,
00:23:49.727 --> 00:23:51.948
I love to go and achieve and do
00:23:52.067 --> 00:23:54.769
and grow and to learn a new trick
00:23:54.809 --> 00:23:57.852
was like a celebration in and of itself,
00:23:58.412 --> 00:23:59.432
uh, to come to,
00:23:59.712 --> 00:24:01.894
to go get over the fears of going
00:24:01.913 --> 00:24:03.855
backwards and not seeing the floor until
00:24:03.875 --> 00:24:04.015
you're
00:24:05.095 --> 00:24:05.355
Right.
00:24:06.096 --> 00:24:07.155
You know, all of those things.
00:24:07.195 --> 00:24:08.537
It was so wonderful.
00:24:09.017 --> 00:24:11.958
But I think there's a good way to
00:24:11.998 --> 00:24:15.119
be coached and not necessarily a helpful
00:24:15.259 --> 00:24:15.559
way.
00:24:15.619 --> 00:24:18.560
So there's there's two different trains of
00:24:18.621 --> 00:24:19.340
thought there.
00:24:19.760 --> 00:24:22.021
I do know and I do know that
00:24:22.061 --> 00:24:23.083
it's gotten a lot better.
00:24:23.462 --> 00:24:24.903
So over the years, you know,
00:24:24.943 --> 00:24:26.963
coaches aren't allowed to do those sort of
00:24:27.044 --> 00:24:28.664
things like parents will speak up.
00:24:28.724 --> 00:24:30.645
Kids will be taught that they should tell
00:24:30.685 --> 00:24:32.626
their parents when something inappropriate
00:24:32.646 --> 00:24:33.007
happens.
00:24:33.646 --> 00:24:37.407
We know this from the national case of
00:24:37.468 --> 00:24:39.388
Larry Nassar, who was abusing,
00:24:39.429 --> 00:24:42.650
sexually abusing the Olympic athletes.
00:24:43.170 --> 00:24:44.911
And so a lot of those athletes came
00:24:44.971 --> 00:24:45.270
forward.
00:24:45.310 --> 00:24:47.372
Then when Simone Biles came forward and
00:24:47.432 --> 00:24:48.932
pulled out of the Olympics,
00:24:48.971 --> 00:24:50.172
like she was going to win it.
00:24:50.472 --> 00:24:52.373
She pulled out because she got lost in
00:24:52.413 --> 00:24:54.473
the air and she had mental issues.
00:24:55.134 --> 00:24:57.796
things that she needed to deal with before
00:24:58.016 --> 00:24:59.057
she wasn't going to be safe.
00:24:59.136 --> 00:25:01.358
And so I think it's gotten a lot
00:25:01.538 --> 00:25:02.058
better.
00:25:02.138 --> 00:25:03.900
But what do you think, Nicole?
00:25:04.141 --> 00:25:05.280
I would love to hear your thoughts on
00:25:05.320 --> 00:25:05.582
this.
00:25:05.602 --> 00:25:08.103
Oh, boy, this is a big topic.
00:25:08.223 --> 00:25:10.424
But so as I danced,
00:25:10.585 --> 00:25:12.205
I had I was in a company.
00:25:13.387 --> 00:25:15.790
And they used to weigh us in front
00:25:15.830 --> 00:25:16.251
of everybody.
00:25:16.432 --> 00:25:17.794
We'd have a long line and they would
00:25:17.814 --> 00:25:19.355
weigh us and they would tell us,
00:25:20.416 --> 00:25:20.817
you know,
00:25:20.896 --> 00:25:24.000
whether you were fit enough to be there.
00:25:24.020 --> 00:25:25.682
And I remember I was told to lose,
00:25:25.702 --> 00:25:26.084
I think,
00:25:26.124 --> 00:25:28.926
ten pounds and in a small frame and
00:25:28.946 --> 00:25:30.528
everything that was kind of like, oh,
00:25:30.588 --> 00:25:31.049
my gosh.
00:25:31.069 --> 00:25:32.411
Plus was in front of a lot of
00:25:32.451 --> 00:25:32.692
people.
00:25:33.872 --> 00:25:37.095
And so those are things you don't forget,
00:25:37.555 --> 00:25:39.057
like as we were talking about this.
00:25:39.297 --> 00:25:43.099
And yes, so those experiences,
00:25:43.200 --> 00:25:45.221
what I think is always so fascinating to
00:25:45.261 --> 00:25:47.644
me is everybody will take those
00:25:47.683 --> 00:25:49.445
experiences and make them mean whatever
00:25:49.486 --> 00:25:50.886
they want to make them mean at that
00:25:50.926 --> 00:25:51.307
time, right?
00:25:51.346 --> 00:25:52.688
So this is what's super fascinating
00:25:52.728 --> 00:25:54.250
because everybody will have a different
00:25:54.289 --> 00:25:55.230
meaning from it.
00:25:55.951 --> 00:25:57.833
Um, but whatever the meaning is,
00:25:57.933 --> 00:25:59.736
if it's like for your benefit, awesome.
00:26:00.096 --> 00:26:02.137
But if it is not right,
00:26:02.178 --> 00:26:03.960
like it could be like, I, you know,
00:26:04.000 --> 00:26:05.642
now I have to like starve myself or
00:26:05.721 --> 00:26:06.722
I'm never going to be on this team
00:26:06.762 --> 00:26:07.884
or I have to work harder or,
00:26:08.325 --> 00:26:08.565
you know,
00:26:08.585 --> 00:26:11.689
whatever it is you decide it means, um,
00:26:11.808 --> 00:26:15.250
can be very detrimental or it can be
00:26:15.290 --> 00:26:17.113
very good depending on the way you see
00:26:17.153 --> 00:26:17.553
it, right?
00:26:17.732 --> 00:26:18.153
You could be,
00:26:18.354 --> 00:26:19.734
I could have been in that situation and
00:26:19.755 --> 00:26:21.715
been like, yeah, that's ridiculous.
00:26:21.796 --> 00:26:23.136
Like, I don't need to lose that.
00:26:23.237 --> 00:26:24.397
Like, oh my gosh.
00:26:24.478 --> 00:26:26.618
But at that age, I wasn't there.
00:26:27.000 --> 00:26:27.859
I wasn't there, right?
00:26:27.900 --> 00:26:29.060
I was, I was only,
00:26:29.161 --> 00:26:29.701
I think I was,
00:26:30.102 --> 00:26:30.923
I don't even know how old I was,
00:26:31.202 --> 00:26:32.443
eighteen or nineteen at the time.
00:26:33.443 --> 00:26:35.846
And so I was still like forming that
00:26:36.105 --> 00:26:37.906
image of who I am and what it
00:26:37.968 --> 00:26:38.107
is.
00:26:38.587 --> 00:26:39.729
But I believe like,
00:26:39.808 --> 00:26:41.309
and then I started teaching dancing
00:26:42.573 --> 00:26:44.034
for, for many years.
00:26:44.233 --> 00:26:48.395
And I really wanted them just to feel
00:26:48.655 --> 00:26:49.796
powerful and strong.
00:26:49.875 --> 00:26:50.656
Like that was the thing.
00:26:50.696 --> 00:26:53.117
Let's just get you feeling like, you know,
00:26:53.137 --> 00:26:55.638
like your bodies are your instrument and
00:26:55.699 --> 00:26:56.419
just use it,
00:26:56.558 --> 00:26:57.880
use it to do what you need to
00:26:57.900 --> 00:26:58.400
do now.
00:26:59.695 --> 00:27:01.477
everybody again will take it the way they
00:27:01.497 --> 00:27:01.938
want to take it.
00:27:01.978 --> 00:27:02.218
But I,
00:27:02.637 --> 00:27:05.039
I really felt that like I wanted everybody
00:27:05.079 --> 00:27:06.881
to be in acceptance because you're in
00:27:06.901 --> 00:27:10.323
front of a mirror all hours and hours
00:27:10.423 --> 00:27:11.223
looking in dance.
00:27:11.263 --> 00:27:12.284
You're in front of a mirror,
00:27:12.724 --> 00:27:14.026
probably more than gymnastics, I guess,
00:27:14.066 --> 00:27:15.446
Lori, like we were in mirrors,
00:27:15.487 --> 00:27:18.248
like that was how we watch each other.
00:27:18.288 --> 00:27:19.788
And that's how we do everything we do.
00:27:19.869 --> 00:27:20.089
Right.
00:27:20.150 --> 00:27:23.051
And so I know that it has been
00:27:23.092 --> 00:27:25.472
detrimental for other students when I was
00:27:25.492 --> 00:27:26.094
teaching that too.
00:27:26.114 --> 00:27:26.574
And I think,
00:27:27.034 --> 00:27:28.595
I think this is coming a long way.
00:27:28.714 --> 00:27:29.395
I think we're seeing,
00:27:29.895 --> 00:27:32.058
strength come back to be something that
00:27:32.118 --> 00:27:34.121
people are like, you're strong.
00:27:34.240 --> 00:27:34.621
Wow.
00:27:34.882 --> 00:27:35.803
Look at those muscles.
00:27:35.823 --> 00:27:36.182
Wow.
00:27:36.242 --> 00:27:36.482
You know,
00:27:36.502 --> 00:27:38.424
like not from a place of that.
00:27:38.486 --> 00:27:40.166
You have to waste away from a place
00:27:40.207 --> 00:27:41.548
of like, let's be the healthiest,
00:27:41.568 --> 00:27:43.069
strongest version of ourselves because
00:27:43.111 --> 00:27:44.972
these jumps they're doing now and the
00:27:45.012 --> 00:27:45.732
things are flying.
00:27:45.792 --> 00:27:46.875
You need strength.
00:27:46.894 --> 00:27:48.215
You need nutrition.
00:27:48.276 --> 00:27:49.396
You need, you know,
00:27:49.436 --> 00:27:51.098
you need people telling you that you're
00:27:51.179 --> 00:27:51.358
like,
00:27:52.079 --> 00:27:52.799
on fire.
00:27:52.819 --> 00:27:54.621
Like you need people encouraging,
00:27:54.681 --> 00:27:55.882
nourishing your mind as well.
00:27:55.942 --> 00:27:57.241
So it's a full,
00:27:58.682 --> 00:27:59.683
it's a lot different than when I was
00:27:59.723 --> 00:28:00.084
younger.
00:28:00.223 --> 00:28:01.003
And I think people,
00:28:01.144 --> 00:28:02.525
I think they're realizing that there's so
00:28:02.565 --> 00:28:03.664
much to this.
00:28:04.645 --> 00:28:06.547
But thank you for bringing that up,
00:28:06.567 --> 00:28:06.846
Debbie,
00:28:06.866 --> 00:28:08.988
because I do see
00:28:10.252 --> 00:28:13.173
Competitive sports does give you a lot of
00:28:13.213 --> 00:28:13.835
discipline.
00:28:14.015 --> 00:28:15.434
It gives you a lot of commitment.
00:28:15.694 --> 00:28:17.256
It gives you some incredible people in
00:28:17.276 --> 00:28:17.695
your life.
00:28:18.155 --> 00:28:19.076
It gives you goals.
00:28:19.217 --> 00:28:20.196
I used to have to do my homework
00:28:20.237 --> 00:28:21.817
in a very short period of time all
00:28:21.837 --> 00:28:23.337
the time in order to be able to
00:28:23.719 --> 00:28:24.439
go do the thing.
00:28:24.719 --> 00:28:27.700
But it can get you on that hamster
00:28:27.720 --> 00:28:28.881
wheel of I've got to do better,
00:28:28.901 --> 00:28:29.540
it's never enough.
00:28:29.621 --> 00:28:30.821
I've got to do better, it's never enough.
00:28:30.862 --> 00:28:33.682
And my son the other day finished a
00:28:33.722 --> 00:28:35.123
tournament and he wasn't super,
00:28:35.242 --> 00:28:36.003
it was a golf tournament.
00:28:36.923 --> 00:28:38.365
And he wasn't super happy at the time
00:28:38.484 --> 00:28:40.586
of like his, he did amazing, but he,
00:28:40.747 --> 00:28:42.087
you know, his own thing.
00:28:42.208 --> 00:28:43.209
And right away,
00:28:43.229 --> 00:28:44.849
he went right to the driving range after
00:28:44.910 --> 00:28:46.751
being golfing the whole day to start
00:28:46.791 --> 00:28:47.432
practicing again.
00:28:47.491 --> 00:28:48.212
And I, you know,
00:28:48.272 --> 00:28:49.854
I keep watching his mindset too,
00:28:49.913 --> 00:28:51.115
as he goes through this, like,
00:28:51.474 --> 00:28:52.375
when is enough enough?
00:28:52.435 --> 00:28:53.876
When can I just celebrate how far I've
00:28:53.916 --> 00:28:54.176
come?
00:28:54.616 --> 00:28:54.958
You know?
00:28:55.117 --> 00:28:56.239
And he, he,
00:28:56.259 --> 00:28:57.419
but he did say to me, he's like,
00:28:57.559 --> 00:28:58.000
but you know,
00:28:58.019 --> 00:28:59.221
I don't want you to take that away
00:28:59.280 --> 00:28:59.560
from me.
00:28:59.601 --> 00:28:59.881
He said,
00:28:59.961 --> 00:29:01.301
I have this drive right now that I
00:29:01.362 --> 00:29:01.682
love.
00:29:02.123 --> 00:29:03.263
Like I, I want to.
00:29:03.304 --> 00:29:04.525
So it's really interesting.
00:29:04.565 --> 00:29:05.546
Like he was telling me and I'm like,
00:29:06.346 --> 00:29:07.467
it is your point of view.
00:29:07.626 --> 00:29:09.107
And, and he's like, don't take,
00:29:09.127 --> 00:29:10.169
please don't minimize the,
00:29:10.368 --> 00:29:11.711
like the drive I have right now.
00:29:11.730 --> 00:29:13.192
So it's so interesting, right?
00:29:13.251 --> 00:29:13.711
It's just,
00:29:14.232 --> 00:29:16.454
it's very interesting all the ways that
00:29:17.715 --> 00:29:19.737
psychologically we go through as we are
00:29:19.777 --> 00:29:20.258
growing.
00:29:20.397 --> 00:29:22.138
And then as we have our own businesses
00:29:22.239 --> 00:29:23.621
and as it's all like a,
00:29:24.260 --> 00:29:26.502
a journey that we go on of self-discovery
00:29:26.742 --> 00:29:27.604
through all of this.
00:29:29.172 --> 00:29:29.432
Well,
00:29:29.471 --> 00:29:31.571
and another thing that I think that we
00:29:31.592 --> 00:29:33.553
can point out today is that it's across
00:29:33.593 --> 00:29:34.393
generations.
00:29:35.133 --> 00:29:36.452
So we've talked about our kids.
00:29:36.492 --> 00:29:37.752
We've talked about us as kids.
00:29:37.772 --> 00:29:40.114
We've talked about us when an adult spoke
00:29:40.153 --> 00:29:40.713
to us.
00:29:40.733 --> 00:29:43.273
We've talked about receiving from our
00:29:43.314 --> 00:29:44.454
parents with wisdom.
00:29:45.035 --> 00:29:47.474
And so it is interesting,
00:29:47.714 --> 00:29:51.316
but I also think that what it's helping
00:29:51.395 --> 00:29:54.375
us realize is that it's important to have
00:29:54.415 --> 00:29:57.457
open conversations across all generations,
00:29:57.517 --> 00:29:57.797
right?
00:29:58.769 --> 00:29:58.969
right?
00:29:59.409 --> 00:30:01.570
What if your parent came to you and
00:30:01.631 --> 00:30:03.270
said what you just said, Nicole,
00:30:03.330 --> 00:30:04.791
you had a conversation with your mom this
00:30:04.832 --> 00:30:05.071
week.
00:30:05.112 --> 00:30:06.593
You had a conversation with your son this
00:30:06.633 --> 00:30:07.953
week.
00:30:08.054 --> 00:30:09.894
Your kids have had conversations with you.
00:30:10.454 --> 00:30:12.916
If we don't open these conversations up,
00:30:13.497 --> 00:30:16.798
we're really missing a big opportunity to
00:30:16.838 --> 00:30:17.138
grow,
00:30:17.318 --> 00:30:19.599
all of us to grow and really hear
00:30:19.680 --> 00:30:22.301
our own thoughts, good, bad,
00:30:22.321 --> 00:30:23.342
and otherwise, right?
00:30:23.782 --> 00:30:25.864
We're not here to judge our thoughts.
00:30:25.903 --> 00:30:26.423
We're here to
00:30:26.763 --> 00:30:28.585
be aware of them so that we can
00:30:28.664 --> 00:30:31.207
shift them if there is something that's
00:30:31.267 --> 00:30:33.469
holding us back.
00:30:33.528 --> 00:30:33.888
Yeah.
00:30:33.989 --> 00:30:34.989
And I think, you know,
00:30:35.069 --> 00:30:36.230
when you were just talking about this,
00:30:36.349 --> 00:30:37.530
I love that you were just saying it's
00:30:37.550 --> 00:30:38.692
across all generations.
00:30:38.731 --> 00:30:40.553
So we're starting to have these
00:30:40.593 --> 00:30:42.114
conversations and I think we were not
00:30:42.233 --> 00:30:43.734
having these conversations before.
00:30:43.875 --> 00:30:45.896
And so now I think we're starting to
00:30:45.936 --> 00:30:49.219
be like, what is my definition of success?
00:30:50.143 --> 00:30:50.682
what is it?
00:30:51.044 --> 00:30:51.963
What is it now?
00:30:52.003 --> 00:30:52.184
Like,
00:30:52.605 --> 00:30:54.746
is it like what my parents thought was
00:30:54.766 --> 00:30:55.287
success?
00:30:55.366 --> 00:30:57.087
Or is it what society thinks is success?
00:30:57.147 --> 00:31:00.790
Or what is my definition of success?
00:31:00.951 --> 00:31:02.231
And if we start to question it,
00:31:02.271 --> 00:31:03.952
that's when we start to like,
00:31:04.393 --> 00:31:06.334
find the holes in some of the things
00:31:06.354 --> 00:31:08.195
that we've been believing for a long time.
00:31:08.236 --> 00:31:09.215
Because, you know,
00:31:09.717 --> 00:31:13.019
if we go on a traditional path of
00:31:13.038 --> 00:31:16.741
what success is, for a lot of us,
00:31:17.932 --> 00:31:19.854
it'll be external, right?
00:31:19.913 --> 00:31:22.256
It's this external thing,
00:31:22.276 --> 00:31:24.017
that goal that we're always after.
00:31:24.057 --> 00:31:25.778
But what about starting to like,
00:31:25.818 --> 00:31:27.140
what would we like to feel?
00:31:28.401 --> 00:31:29.281
How, you know,
00:31:29.721 --> 00:31:31.042
the relationships that we have,
00:31:31.063 --> 00:31:32.403
how like those kinds of things,
00:31:32.443 --> 00:31:33.826
the deep relationships,
00:31:34.526 --> 00:31:36.446
The courage that it took to walk through
00:31:36.467 --> 00:31:37.846
this thing, isn't that a success?
00:31:37.886 --> 00:31:39.907
You know, what is our definition now?
00:31:40.448 --> 00:31:43.107
And how can we help us or how
00:31:43.147 --> 00:31:45.528
can we think a little differently so that
00:31:45.548 --> 00:31:46.429
we can have more joy,
00:31:46.990 --> 00:31:49.349
more happiness and contentness and peace,
00:31:50.109 --> 00:31:50.589
right?
00:31:52.050 --> 00:31:53.431
Because there's a lot of things we miss,
00:31:53.490 --> 00:31:53.750
I think,
00:31:53.790 --> 00:31:55.731
when it's the external that becomes our
00:31:55.771 --> 00:31:56.852
definition of success.
00:31:56.892 --> 00:31:58.472
Absolutely.
00:31:58.653 --> 00:31:59.452
Absolutely.
00:32:01.121 --> 00:32:03.865
okay lori back to you back to you
00:32:03.885 --> 00:32:06.029
for a minute it just kept whispering in
00:32:06.069 --> 00:32:07.231
my ear there's more here
00:32:07.862 --> 00:32:09.762
Well, that's what this is all about.
00:32:09.803 --> 00:32:10.963
It's a conversation.
00:32:11.163 --> 00:32:14.666
So I love the dynamic here.
00:32:14.707 --> 00:32:15.508
And by the way,
00:32:15.548 --> 00:32:17.308
if you're joining us and you haven't
00:32:18.148 --> 00:32:18.529
heard,
00:32:18.549 --> 00:32:21.031
we're talking about when is enough is
00:32:21.051 --> 00:32:21.432
enough.
00:32:22.553 --> 00:32:24.534
And how do we define success?
00:32:24.753 --> 00:32:27.496
And what does success mean to you?
00:32:27.635 --> 00:32:30.018
I love all of these comments that are
00:32:30.178 --> 00:32:31.019
coming in.
00:32:31.838 --> 00:32:34.060
um and i will i do want to
00:32:34.161 --> 00:32:37.963
recognize jason jason is on facebook and
00:32:38.064 --> 00:32:39.945
he says you can always be completely
00:32:39.986 --> 00:32:42.827
driven and still feel as you are missing
00:32:42.847 --> 00:32:46.290
the mark it pays to have a strong
00:32:46.770 --> 00:32:49.573
circle i love that that's on my personal
00:32:49.593 --> 00:32:51.355
facebook so it's not showing up right here
00:32:51.394 --> 00:32:53.076
on the screen but jason thank you so
00:32:53.096 --> 00:32:54.217
much for joining us and
00:32:55.136 --> 00:32:58.460
He says that this episode came very timely
00:32:58.500 --> 00:32:59.140
for him,
00:32:59.621 --> 00:33:02.803
that he's cranking it up in his office
00:33:02.863 --> 00:33:05.964
and that he's like purpose, purpose,
00:33:06.005 --> 00:33:06.326
purpose.
00:33:06.346 --> 00:33:09.347
So thank you, Jason, for joining us.
00:33:09.407 --> 00:33:12.789
And I love the fact that we can
00:33:12.930 --> 00:33:13.790
just be ourselves,
00:33:13.871 --> 00:33:16.333
express ourselves and invite you guys to
00:33:16.373 --> 00:33:18.894
come in and express yourself as well.
00:33:19.295 --> 00:33:20.236
I say this a lot,
00:33:20.496 --> 00:33:22.076
but I don't have a podcast out there
00:33:22.096 --> 00:33:24.097
that invites the people who are listening
00:33:24.117 --> 00:33:26.319
and watching to actually be a part of
00:33:26.400 --> 00:33:27.619
the actual podcast.
00:33:27.660 --> 00:33:30.122
So when you guys put your comments in,
00:33:30.182 --> 00:33:30.942
it matters.
00:33:31.022 --> 00:33:33.483
It matters because we're opening our diary
00:33:33.564 --> 00:33:35.444
and you're opening yours and we're sharing
00:33:35.486 --> 00:33:36.125
it together.
00:33:36.185 --> 00:33:37.406
So I love it so much.
00:33:38.367 --> 00:33:40.548
I want to switch gears and go into
00:33:40.589 --> 00:33:42.310
the quickfire questions.
00:33:43.092 --> 00:33:45.153
This is a this or that kind of
00:33:45.713 --> 00:33:48.836
time where we talk about really quickly
00:33:49.096 --> 00:33:52.039
what comes to mind when you hear a
00:33:52.079 --> 00:33:52.720
question.
00:33:53.141 --> 00:33:56.403
So I want to know which steals more
00:33:56.564 --> 00:34:01.407
joy for UW, comparison or perfectionism?
00:34:02.269 --> 00:34:02.869
Comparison.
00:34:03.790 --> 00:34:05.313
Yeah, isn't that interesting?
00:34:05.913 --> 00:34:08.838
There was no, oh, maybe this, maybe that.
00:34:08.898 --> 00:34:09.619
It's comparison.
00:34:11.242 --> 00:34:13.967
When I recognized that my narrative was...
00:34:14.653 --> 00:34:16.815
always telling me what i was doing wrong
00:34:16.894 --> 00:34:20.076
versus what i was doing right i recognized
00:34:20.115 --> 00:34:23.077
that judgment not judgment of others
00:34:23.577 --> 00:34:26.358
judgment of myself was really driving the
00:34:26.398 --> 00:34:28.998
bus and i was like no that's got
00:34:29.018 --> 00:34:32.259
to change i gotta go down this who
00:34:32.318 --> 00:34:34.719
am i really and then what does bring
00:34:34.760 --> 00:34:38.280
me joy so follow the joy bus instead
00:34:38.340 --> 00:34:41.842
of the what am i doing wrong i
00:34:42.521 --> 00:34:44.163
love that what about you for you nicole
00:34:45.922 --> 00:34:48.402
So it's between perfectionism and
00:34:48.422 --> 00:34:49.443
comparison, correct?
00:34:49.463 --> 00:34:50.463
I just want to make sure I had
00:34:50.483 --> 00:34:52.963
that right.
00:34:53.003 --> 00:34:55.744
For me, I mean, it's definitely been both.
00:34:56.985 --> 00:34:59.505
But I would say one thing that
00:34:59.525 --> 00:35:02.286
perfectionism does to me is it slows me
00:35:02.326 --> 00:35:05.646
down so much that I feel so it
00:35:05.666 --> 00:35:06.347
makes me stuck.
00:35:06.748 --> 00:35:07.588
And it really does.
00:35:07.728 --> 00:35:10.809
It really perfectionism trying to get it
00:35:10.949 --> 00:35:11.349
right.
00:35:12.269 --> 00:35:14.231
can take me completely out.
00:35:14.630 --> 00:35:17.273
And I think it comes from that place
00:35:17.313 --> 00:35:18.193
of trying to get it right.
00:35:18.213 --> 00:35:19.313
Like, what is right?
00:35:19.373 --> 00:35:20.273
Like, what is enough?
00:35:20.994 --> 00:35:23.556
When is enough enough, right?
00:35:23.815 --> 00:35:26.356
Because I know, Laurie,
00:35:26.376 --> 00:35:27.737
you and I have had this conversation, too,
00:35:27.757 --> 00:35:28.677
where I've just had to, like,
00:35:28.717 --> 00:35:30.179
surrender and just say, come on,
00:35:30.199 --> 00:35:31.539
just put it out, do your thing,
00:35:31.760 --> 00:35:32.599
you know,
00:35:32.699 --> 00:35:34.061
and just put it out there and do
00:35:34.121 --> 00:35:34.240
it.
00:35:34.981 --> 00:35:37.141
But I know behind that perfectionism a lot
00:35:37.161 --> 00:35:39.844
of times is the fear of, like,
00:35:40.585 --> 00:35:42.367
either, you know, saying the wrong thing,
00:35:42.427 --> 00:35:43.847
being judged, you know,
00:35:43.927 --> 00:35:47.630
whatever it is that you're, you know,
00:35:47.690 --> 00:35:49.331
whatever it is that your narrative is
00:35:49.371 --> 00:35:49.831
inside,
00:35:49.851 --> 00:35:51.692
but it's that perfectionism is the thing
00:35:51.731 --> 00:35:54.494
for me that I continue to work on
00:35:54.554 --> 00:35:56.635
because I, again,
00:35:56.695 --> 00:35:58.456
maybe it comes from like some of my
00:35:58.516 --> 00:36:00.416
extracurricular things in life too,
00:36:00.538 --> 00:36:01.157
of just, you know,
00:36:01.217 --> 00:36:03.518
trying to do well at things.
00:36:03.818 --> 00:36:04.420
I don't know.
00:36:04.800 --> 00:36:06.521
I don't know, but I do know that,
00:36:06.860 --> 00:36:09.362
that the underlying is usually fear.
00:36:09.702 --> 00:36:13.422
And when I can let go of that
00:36:13.503 --> 00:36:15.583
and just be so in like what I
00:36:15.623 --> 00:36:17.943
believe and what I would love and just
00:36:18.003 --> 00:36:19.443
be like sure within,
00:36:19.965 --> 00:36:22.045
perfectionism kind of takes a step to the
00:36:22.105 --> 00:36:22.764
side, right?
00:36:23.226 --> 00:36:24.686
And that's what I continue to work on.
00:36:27.425 --> 00:36:27.846
I love that.
00:36:27.865 --> 00:36:29.206
I totally agree.
00:36:29.407 --> 00:36:32.110
I'm the perfectionist option as well.
00:36:32.570 --> 00:36:35.875
I think I got over the struggle of
00:36:35.934 --> 00:36:37.777
comparison somehow.
00:36:38.998 --> 00:36:42.081
I had really good parents and they really
00:36:42.121 --> 00:36:43.063
fed into me.
00:36:43.123 --> 00:36:44.885
Thank you, mom, for listening.
00:36:46.226 --> 00:36:48.807
But they fed into my self-esteem.
00:36:48.947 --> 00:36:52.307
And so comparison wasn't always part of
00:36:52.347 --> 00:36:53.208
the equation.
00:36:53.509 --> 00:36:54.768
It was in some ways,
00:36:54.809 --> 00:36:57.168
but I think I grew out of that.
00:36:57.509 --> 00:36:59.550
But I never really grew out of perfection
00:36:59.570 --> 00:37:00.070
and thing.
00:37:00.570 --> 00:37:02.851
And I struggle with that too as well,
00:37:02.971 --> 00:37:03.391
Nicole.
00:37:03.431 --> 00:37:05.911
So when we were having this conversation
00:37:05.951 --> 00:37:07.411
and I was encouraging you to say,
00:37:07.552 --> 00:37:08.931
just do it, just do it,
00:37:08.952 --> 00:37:10.032
just do it and move on.
00:37:11.791 --> 00:37:12.893
I'm talking to myself too.
00:37:12.913 --> 00:37:12.992
Yeah.
00:37:15.552 --> 00:37:17.833
And I do want to acknowledge my mom.
00:37:17.893 --> 00:37:19.974
She made a nice comment.
00:37:20.835 --> 00:37:22.375
This is due to my coach.
00:37:22.655 --> 00:37:22.994
She says,
00:37:23.034 --> 00:37:24.456
but I just remember Lori saying
00:37:24.496 --> 00:37:25.695
respectfully to her coach,
00:37:26.036 --> 00:37:27.496
I'm giving you my a hundred percent.
00:37:27.717 --> 00:37:28.956
And just because you yell at me,
00:37:28.976 --> 00:37:30.677
doesn't motivate me or make me do it
00:37:30.717 --> 00:37:31.038
better.
00:37:31.637 --> 00:37:32.338
And she says,
00:37:32.438 --> 00:37:35.838
I think my coach acknowledged that he had
00:37:35.898 --> 00:37:38.360
heard me and coaching boys is different
00:37:38.380 --> 00:37:38.880
than girls.
00:37:39.199 --> 00:37:39.800
Excuse.
00:37:42.260 --> 00:37:43.483
That's what I was thinking, too.
00:37:43.503 --> 00:37:46.327
Yeah, but he but he did acknowledge it.
00:37:46.407 --> 00:37:49.351
And he said he needed to hear that.
00:37:49.452 --> 00:37:51.153
And so I think, you know,
00:37:51.233 --> 00:37:52.655
and the reason I was able to do
00:37:52.695 --> 00:37:53.597
that is, number one,
00:37:53.657 --> 00:37:54.800
I was a senior in high school.
00:37:54.860 --> 00:37:56.442
By then I learned how to use my
00:37:56.501 --> 00:37:56.922
voice.
00:37:58.824 --> 00:38:00.666
But also, like I said,
00:38:00.706 --> 00:38:03.528
my parents had fed into me and given
00:38:03.568 --> 00:38:06.070
me that confidence to know who I was
00:38:06.590 --> 00:38:07.532
and to know.
00:38:07.931 --> 00:38:09.793
And even when I didn't have my voice,
00:38:09.974 --> 00:38:11.835
I remember even as a younger gymnast,
00:38:12.536 --> 00:38:14.597
if I didn't make the podium,
00:38:14.637 --> 00:38:17.420
if I didn't get one through six place,
00:38:18.139 --> 00:38:19.742
didn't get an award, didn't get a medal,
00:38:20.302 --> 00:38:22.423
I was still okay because I knew I
00:38:22.503 --> 00:38:23.824
had given my hundred percent.
00:38:23.885 --> 00:38:24.085
I mean,
00:38:24.105 --> 00:38:26.967
there were very rare times that we do
00:38:27.007 --> 00:38:28.228
give our hundred percent, right?
00:38:28.530 --> 00:38:28.710
I mean,
00:38:29.050 --> 00:38:31.132
I don't think I know anyone who wants
00:38:31.172 --> 00:38:32.833
to succeed who doesn't give their hundred
00:38:32.873 --> 00:38:33.233
percent.
00:38:33.293 --> 00:38:36.097
So just the fact that you give your
00:38:36.157 --> 00:38:39.501
hundred percent should and can be enough,
00:38:39.721 --> 00:38:40.041
right?
00:38:40.862 --> 00:38:41.202
Yeah.
00:38:41.242 --> 00:38:41.563
So-
00:38:42.463 --> 00:38:43.224
Thank you, mom,
00:38:43.983 --> 00:38:45.746
for opening that conversation.
00:38:46.606 --> 00:38:48.788
I think it's very important to remember
00:38:48.827 --> 00:38:49.007
that.
00:38:49.088 --> 00:38:50.268
Just give your a hundred percent.
00:38:50.389 --> 00:38:51.590
That's all you need, right?
00:38:51.809 --> 00:38:51.989
Well,
00:38:52.030 --> 00:38:54.130
and I think you can circle this back
00:38:54.190 --> 00:38:56.193
to my conversation earlier about Nicole
00:38:56.233 --> 00:38:57.373
saying you're so courageous.
00:38:57.873 --> 00:38:58.835
I'm just going to give my a hundred
00:38:58.855 --> 00:38:59.255
percent.
00:38:59.394 --> 00:39:00.976
It's not always going to be right.
00:39:01.295 --> 00:39:02.717
And I have to just know that I
00:39:02.777 --> 00:39:02.876
am,
00:39:03.257 --> 00:39:04.659
my heart is in the right place and
00:39:04.798 --> 00:39:06.800
I am listening to my intuition and I
00:39:06.820 --> 00:39:08.380
am taking aligned action.
00:39:09.001 --> 00:39:10.842
And so whether it's a hundred percent in,
00:39:11.322 --> 00:39:12.184
in sports.
00:39:12.603 --> 00:39:13.864
But again, guys,
00:39:13.905 --> 00:39:16.786
I'm going back to listening to yourself,
00:39:17.047 --> 00:39:19.048
how you spoke to yourself as a young
00:39:19.088 --> 00:39:19.648
child,
00:39:20.429 --> 00:39:22.411
when you started learning your voice,
00:39:22.550 --> 00:39:24.932
and you learned how to use respect in
00:39:24.972 --> 00:39:26.514
the middle of that conversation,
00:39:26.653 --> 00:39:27.835
and an adult said,
00:39:28.014 --> 00:39:29.036
I needed to hear that.
00:39:29.056 --> 00:39:29.436
Yeah.
00:39:29.715 --> 00:39:33.539
we learn all along the way we learn
00:39:33.579 --> 00:39:35.239
when we have a little hissy fit when
00:39:35.260 --> 00:39:37.001
we didn't win a game when we're little
00:39:37.362 --> 00:39:40.463
we learned as an adult so when you
00:39:40.503 --> 00:39:43.306
take all of this and you're evaluating it
00:39:43.365 --> 00:39:45.447
observing it and then have people that
00:39:45.487 --> 00:39:47.909
reflect it back to you you can see
00:39:47.969 --> 00:39:51.612
where old habits and patterns kept you in
00:39:51.652 --> 00:39:54.215
that loop of ego telling you this
00:39:55.108 --> 00:39:57.371
um and and i often just think of
00:39:57.411 --> 00:40:00.135
nicole with all of her her training on
00:40:00.195 --> 00:40:02.898
the mindset of like when does something
00:40:02.938 --> 00:40:05.079
get so lodged in there that we're just
00:40:05.280 --> 00:40:08.583
it's we're just unaware so unaware that
00:40:08.684 --> 00:40:12.047
that is constantly taking us back to that
00:40:12.106 --> 00:40:14.068
thing right so me
00:40:14.889 --> 00:40:17.512
I've done a lot of work on this
00:40:17.572 --> 00:40:19.114
whole conversation.
00:40:19.735 --> 00:40:21.217
And I can say that what's going to
00:40:21.277 --> 00:40:23.900
pull me out of that loop of goodness,
00:40:23.960 --> 00:40:25.402
of growth, of evolving,
00:40:25.503 --> 00:40:27.425
and take me right down and spiral me
00:40:27.505 --> 00:40:29.047
as if I'm in that little kid being
00:40:29.086 --> 00:40:30.648
told I didn't do something right.
00:40:31.349 --> 00:40:31.949
It is...
00:40:32.811 --> 00:40:35.032
the fear that someone's gonna leave me
00:40:35.311 --> 00:40:38.974
like i hate you just that clunch is
00:40:39.014 --> 00:40:41.114
like little girl talk that says i hate
00:40:41.135 --> 00:40:43.576
you it's like oh don't do that it's
00:40:43.695 --> 00:40:46.797
horrible it makes people believe that
00:40:46.836 --> 00:40:50.978
they're only lovable if they do certain
00:40:51.039 --> 00:40:53.018
things and that comes back to the doing
00:40:53.039 --> 00:40:53.900
versus being
00:40:54.480 --> 00:40:56.840
what about if you're just kind and you're
00:40:56.880 --> 00:41:00.202
just a beautiful respectful person then
00:41:00.262 --> 00:41:04.405
your opinion should be heard not just like
00:41:05.346 --> 00:41:09.827
go away right so yeah I think that
00:41:09.867 --> 00:41:12.789
a lot of things run our narrative and
00:41:12.849 --> 00:41:15.150
it's up to us to understand what is
00:41:15.231 --> 00:41:17.492
running our narrative and our actions from
00:41:17.532 --> 00:41:18.213
that narrative
00:41:19.806 --> 00:41:20.507
Absolutely.
00:41:21.027 --> 00:41:22.407
No, yeah, I love that.
00:41:22.487 --> 00:41:25.648
I love because it does matter what we're
00:41:25.688 --> 00:41:26.789
saying to ourselves.
00:41:26.949 --> 00:41:30.168
And the perspective always comes from you,
00:41:30.469 --> 00:41:30.809
right?
00:41:30.869 --> 00:41:31.329
So it does.
00:41:31.389 --> 00:41:32.809
That's like when someone says you did
00:41:32.829 --> 00:41:34.369
amazing, and you don't believe it, well,
00:41:34.389 --> 00:41:34.769
you're gonna,
00:41:35.090 --> 00:41:36.650
you're gonna give every reason why it
00:41:36.670 --> 00:41:37.610
wasn't amazing.
00:41:38.590 --> 00:41:40.972
You know, but if you have that, that,
00:41:41.711 --> 00:41:45.492
that real confidence within yourself,
00:41:45.592 --> 00:41:46.333
and someone says,
00:41:46.873 --> 00:41:48.014
you did an amazing job,
00:41:48.094 --> 00:41:49.516
then you can actually receive it.
00:41:49.635 --> 00:41:51.757
So I want to address a question that
00:41:51.797 --> 00:41:52.298
came up.
00:41:54.760 --> 00:41:56.503
Jason, again,
00:41:56.543 --> 00:41:57.384
you're not going to see this on the
00:41:57.423 --> 00:41:58.945
screen, but Jason's on Facebook.
00:41:59.005 --> 00:41:59.485
He says,
00:41:59.826 --> 00:42:02.469
how do you guys deal with the fight
00:42:02.688 --> 00:42:04.550
of imposter syndrome?
00:42:04.990 --> 00:42:07.052
I think this is a very important issue.
00:42:08.094 --> 00:42:09.054
Debbie's raising her hand.
00:42:09.755 --> 00:42:10.777
If you're listening to this,
00:42:10.797 --> 00:42:12.239
you're not seeing it on the screen.
00:42:13.460 --> 00:42:15.163
Yeah, imposter syndrome,
00:42:15.222 --> 00:42:16.704
that that's a huge one.
00:42:17.025 --> 00:42:17.846
That's a huge one.
00:42:17.947 --> 00:42:19.447
It goes back to comparison.
00:42:19.809 --> 00:42:21.431
But it's a little different, I think,
00:42:21.471 --> 00:42:24.054
because imposter syndrome is,
00:42:24.514 --> 00:42:26.197
am I good enough?
00:42:26.860 --> 00:42:30.141
am i enough it's not like is what
00:42:30.282 --> 00:42:34.182
i'm doing enough it's am i enough and
00:42:34.342 --> 00:42:36.523
i think i battle this some when i
00:42:37.684 --> 00:42:38.923
step out on a limb and do things
00:42:38.963 --> 00:42:41.264
like this like the podcast like we're
00:42:41.664 --> 00:42:43.865
we're doing a weekly podcast now and it's
00:42:43.985 --> 00:42:47.027
live and there's no like editing at all
00:42:47.086 --> 00:42:48.887
like it goes and that's what it is
00:42:48.967 --> 00:42:52.248
right uh and we have we have bloopers
00:42:52.268 --> 00:42:54.128
and mistakes and all those kind of things
00:42:54.188 --> 00:42:54.329
but
00:42:55.588 --> 00:42:58.751
The imposter syndrome for me,
00:42:58.871 --> 00:43:01.532
it comes up and it feels like it's
00:43:01.813 --> 00:43:04.775
the runners who jump over whatever those
00:43:04.815 --> 00:43:05.496
are, the hurdles.
00:43:06.197 --> 00:43:08.097
It comes up as a hurdle and a
00:43:08.137 --> 00:43:11.139
lot of times just because I feel like
00:43:11.159 --> 00:43:12.440
I've learned how to be brave,
00:43:12.501 --> 00:43:13.981
I just jump over it anyway.
00:43:14.041 --> 00:43:15.322
I just knock that thing down.
00:43:16.163 --> 00:43:18.123
But I know it's a real struggle for
00:43:18.143 --> 00:43:18.784
a lot of people.
00:43:19.043 --> 00:43:20.003
What about you, Debbie?
00:43:20.184 --> 00:43:20.684
What does that mean?
00:43:20.824 --> 00:43:22.465
Yeah, no, it's exactly that.
00:43:22.605 --> 00:43:25.184
And it's why me and Nicole have created
00:43:25.224 --> 00:43:26.365
this Ignite program.
00:43:26.925 --> 00:43:27.686
Because it is.
00:43:27.786 --> 00:43:28.726
It's aligned action.
00:43:29.967 --> 00:43:31.246
You have to take action.
00:43:31.286 --> 00:43:32.606
You have to jump the hurdle.
00:43:32.646 --> 00:43:35.487
There is no sitting and stewing over it.
00:43:36.088 --> 00:43:37.248
Because when you do that,
00:43:37.307 --> 00:43:39.509
your mind will stop you every time.
00:43:40.413 --> 00:43:40.632
Now,
00:43:40.833 --> 00:43:42.914
there's a lot of work on helping your
00:43:42.954 --> 00:43:44.255
mind work with you.
00:43:44.376 --> 00:43:45.255
And there's like,
00:43:45.275 --> 00:43:47.157
that's why we've created this program.
00:43:47.797 --> 00:43:50.199
But if I could say to anybody over
00:43:50.239 --> 00:43:52.621
the thousands and thousands of people I
00:43:52.641 --> 00:43:54.882
have witnessed in the last seven years,
00:43:56.067 --> 00:44:00.291
It has been that fear told them, stop,
00:44:01.253 --> 00:44:04.476
no, jump the hurdle, keep going,
00:44:04.576 --> 00:44:06.458
take the action, reevaluate.
00:44:06.478 --> 00:44:08.320
You get nowhere if you don't take action.
00:44:08.699 --> 00:44:09.641
You can't go, oh,
00:44:10.342 --> 00:44:11.362
I need to correct that.
00:44:11.402 --> 00:44:12.965
You can't correct something you haven't
00:44:13.005 --> 00:44:13.565
even done.
00:44:14.425 --> 00:44:16.246
Do it, then look at it,
00:44:16.286 --> 00:44:17.407
tweak it and change.
00:44:17.726 --> 00:44:19.168
And that's going to continue.
00:44:19.927 --> 00:44:21.367
Nicole talked about it earlier,
00:44:21.407 --> 00:44:22.329
the evidence bank.
00:44:22.509 --> 00:44:23.849
Now you're going to have that proof.
00:44:24.429 --> 00:44:25.208
But again,
00:44:25.710 --> 00:44:27.889
it's staying in community so other people
00:44:27.929 --> 00:44:29.251
can reflect back to you.
00:44:29.710 --> 00:44:31.090
They can hold the mirror up and they
00:44:31.110 --> 00:44:31.972
can support you,
00:44:32.032 --> 00:44:34.351
not just in you can do it,
00:44:34.652 --> 00:44:36.413
but look what you have done.
00:44:38.130 --> 00:44:38.771
Perfect.
00:44:38.871 --> 00:44:40.072
I love that.
00:44:40.152 --> 00:44:40.432
Yeah.
00:44:40.472 --> 00:44:41.333
And I was going to say on this
00:44:41.373 --> 00:44:42.673
imposter syndrome, I mean,
00:44:43.034 --> 00:44:46.876
I know that so intimately because I really
00:44:46.916 --> 00:44:48.858
took like, you know,
00:44:48.978 --> 00:44:50.858
I feel like I was a certification queen
00:44:50.918 --> 00:44:51.320
for a while.
00:44:51.340 --> 00:44:52.940
Like I just had to do one after
00:44:52.960 --> 00:44:53.961
the other, after the other,
00:44:54.001 --> 00:44:55.402
because I kept thinking, well,
00:44:55.483 --> 00:44:56.523
I have to know more and I have
00:44:56.563 --> 00:44:57.864
to know more before I go out there
00:44:57.903 --> 00:44:59.144
and I start helping people.
00:44:59.164 --> 00:45:00.425
Because what if I say the wrong thing
00:45:00.485 --> 00:45:01.806
or what if I lead the wrong way?
00:45:01.867 --> 00:45:02.047
And I
00:45:02.306 --> 00:45:04.047
I was always in that like worried about
00:45:04.128 --> 00:45:04.467
harm.
00:45:05.389 --> 00:45:07.329
And I still feel that's valid in some
00:45:07.369 --> 00:45:08.231
of it, right?
00:45:08.411 --> 00:45:10.992
Having your education and being able to
00:45:11.032 --> 00:45:13.114
help people from a place of like learning.
00:45:13.574 --> 00:45:15.155
And I do believe that.
00:45:15.215 --> 00:45:17.556
I really do because I believe people's
00:45:17.597 --> 00:45:18.938
hearts matter so much.
00:45:18.998 --> 00:45:19.818
And when they come to you,
00:45:20.257 --> 00:45:24.021
it's very important to have some insight
00:45:24.280 --> 00:45:26.742
as to what you're sharing with somebody.
00:45:27.503 --> 00:45:29.403
What was interesting for me is I used
00:45:29.443 --> 00:45:30.045
to think, well,
00:45:30.085 --> 00:45:33.387
like every program or every coach at the
00:45:33.427 --> 00:45:33.907
time, I was like,
00:45:34.047 --> 00:45:35.228
that's going to be the thing that's going
00:45:35.248 --> 00:45:36.849
to get me successful.
00:45:36.889 --> 00:45:38.110
Like that's the thing that's going to
00:45:38.250 --> 00:45:39.871
actually get me to the next level.
00:45:39.931 --> 00:45:43.353
So I kept investing in programs and
00:45:43.414 --> 00:45:43.733
things,
00:45:43.773 --> 00:45:45.635
but I hadn't invested in what I was
00:45:45.775 --> 00:45:47.936
thinking and what my mind was doing.
00:45:47.976 --> 00:45:48.157
Right.
00:45:48.257 --> 00:45:49.057
I didn't know.
00:45:49.277 --> 00:45:50.739
I actually didn't know anything.
00:45:50.918 --> 00:45:52.079
That, you know, like I'd be like,
00:45:52.119 --> 00:45:52.840
why didn't that work?
00:45:52.880 --> 00:45:53.860
And why didn't this work?
00:45:54.541 --> 00:45:56.061
And so then I kept looking for somebody
00:45:56.121 --> 00:45:57.402
else to say, hey, you're really good.
00:45:57.501 --> 00:45:58.061
You can do it.
00:45:58.121 --> 00:45:58.882
I know you can do it.
00:45:58.943 --> 00:45:59.083
Right.
00:45:59.123 --> 00:46:01.844
I kept looking for other people because I
00:46:01.864 --> 00:46:02.525
didn't believe it.
00:46:02.784 --> 00:46:04.385
And there was a reason I didn't believe
00:46:04.425 --> 00:46:04.505
it.
00:46:04.565 --> 00:46:06.166
And so until I started to break down
00:46:06.525 --> 00:46:07.666
what I've been saying myself,
00:46:07.746 --> 00:46:09.748
the stories I've been telling and them not
00:46:09.788 --> 00:46:12.329
being necessarily true and then taking
00:46:12.708 --> 00:46:15.391
like actually seeing like the dream I want
00:46:15.411 --> 00:46:15.851
to have.
00:46:16.570 --> 00:46:18.452
And the person I need to be in
00:46:18.592 --> 00:46:19.735
order to have that, like,
00:46:19.775 --> 00:46:20.856
who do I need to be?
00:46:21.737 --> 00:46:23.057
Until I could break it down into all
00:46:23.097 --> 00:46:23.838
these parts,
00:46:24.039 --> 00:46:26.501
it was really challenging for me because I
00:46:26.521 --> 00:46:29.144
was just trying to leap without being the
00:46:29.184 --> 00:46:30.186
person who could leap.
00:46:30.606 --> 00:46:31.847
I couldn't be that person.
00:46:32.802 --> 00:46:34.663
And so I think about this all the
00:46:34.702 --> 00:46:35.563
time that, you know,
00:46:35.643 --> 00:46:38.083
we can have and the strategies are
00:46:38.123 --> 00:46:38.483
important,
00:46:38.523 --> 00:46:39.543
but you have to be the type of
00:46:39.563 --> 00:46:40.483
person to take the stress,
00:46:40.503 --> 00:46:41.923
like to be able to go out and
00:46:41.983 --> 00:46:42.824
do the strategy.
00:46:43.364 --> 00:46:44.664
Like you have to believe in yourself that
00:46:44.684 --> 00:46:46.365
you can actually do the strategy that's
00:46:46.405 --> 00:46:47.146
right in front of you.
00:46:47.565 --> 00:46:48.846
And you have to get, you know,
00:46:49.306 --> 00:46:50.746
kind of clear some of the stories that
00:46:50.766 --> 00:46:51.146
you don't have.
00:46:51.166 --> 00:46:54.367
And I think it's also important to talk
00:46:54.387 --> 00:46:55.288
about our nervous system.
00:46:56.047 --> 00:46:58.652
Our nervous system doesn't love massive
00:46:58.692 --> 00:47:01.195
leaps, but it loves a leap that's like,
00:47:01.454 --> 00:47:02.315
I shouldn't say it loves.
00:47:03.378 --> 00:47:05.481
It can work with a leap that feels
00:47:05.581 --> 00:47:07.603
aligned, feels safe,
00:47:08.023 --> 00:47:09.746
feels like makes sense.
00:47:09.766 --> 00:47:11.489
Like in our mind, it makes sense.
00:47:11.989 --> 00:47:12.570
And then you go.
00:47:12.710 --> 00:47:14.210
And then the next time, once you go,
00:47:14.710 --> 00:47:15.652
now you're like, oh,
00:47:16.213 --> 00:47:17.733
now my world is opened up even a
00:47:17.773 --> 00:47:19.255
little bit more because I can see more
00:47:19.295 --> 00:47:19.996
from this leap.
00:47:20.456 --> 00:47:22.478
And then you take another incremental
00:47:22.518 --> 00:47:22.777
step.
00:47:22.858 --> 00:47:23.119
Right.
00:47:23.518 --> 00:47:26.101
And each one builds on each other.
00:47:26.300 --> 00:47:28.242
And then eventually you're like, wow,
00:47:28.282 --> 00:47:29.503
this is just me.
00:47:30.003 --> 00:47:32.286
It is just me because I've done each
00:47:32.326 --> 00:47:32.646
step.
00:47:33.086 --> 00:47:35.648
And I think this is like so important
00:47:35.708 --> 00:47:37.971
when we're talking about transformation
00:47:37.990 --> 00:47:39.391
and we're talking about long lasting
00:47:39.411 --> 00:47:39.932
transformation.
00:47:40.492 --> 00:47:42.715
transformation not just like an instant
00:47:42.755 --> 00:47:45.416
like adrenaline hit and I did this thing
00:47:45.677 --> 00:47:46.677
I want to be able to go back
00:47:46.717 --> 00:47:48.878
and do it again and again and again
00:47:49.059 --> 00:47:50.920
and there's a and and that is what
00:47:50.960 --> 00:47:53.621
builds us so I did not know that
00:47:53.661 --> 00:47:57.103
so imposter syndrome for me was like huge
00:47:57.143 --> 00:47:59.125
like I'd watch everybody out there doing
00:47:59.164 --> 00:48:00.786
their thing and I was like in my
00:48:00.826 --> 00:48:02.106
heart I was like Nicole you know you
00:48:02.126 --> 00:48:04.588
can do this you know you can but
00:48:04.768 --> 00:48:06.789
I would talk myself out because I there
00:48:06.809 --> 00:48:09.090
was stories that were still so strong of
00:48:09.112 --> 00:48:09.652
why I couldn't
00:48:11.041 --> 00:48:13.244
Wow.
00:48:13.764 --> 00:48:15.447
That really helps, I think.
00:48:15.507 --> 00:48:18.110
And this is what you guys are
00:48:18.150 --> 00:48:18.952
experiencing,
00:48:19.112 --> 00:48:23.318
the wisdom that will come to you when
00:48:23.338 --> 00:48:25.862
you work with Nicole and Debbie.
00:48:26.802 --> 00:48:28.342
And this Ignite program that Debbie
00:48:28.382 --> 00:48:28.884
mentioned,
00:48:29.023 --> 00:48:32.184
it's something that I am so proud of.
00:48:32.384 --> 00:48:34.704
I actually got to be a part of
00:48:34.764 --> 00:48:36.525
a session, an Ignite session,
00:48:37.206 --> 00:48:40.005
and it really, really, really helped.
00:48:40.045 --> 00:48:43.347
It helped me clear my mind and take
00:48:43.407 --> 00:48:44.447
the next step,
00:48:44.487 --> 00:48:48.788
like just get over that roadblock, right?
00:48:48.847 --> 00:48:50.989
And I think it's important for us to
00:48:51.068 --> 00:48:52.889
be in circles like Debbie mentioned,
00:48:52.909 --> 00:48:53.628
to be in,
00:48:54.070 --> 00:48:55.530
I think it was Jason that even said,
00:48:56.590 --> 00:49:00.213
your circle is important because who you
00:49:00.293 --> 00:49:03.036
surround yourself is who you become.
00:49:03.516 --> 00:49:05.577
So I love that.
00:49:05.958 --> 00:49:08.860
I think imposter syndrome is such a common
00:49:09.260 --> 00:49:11.041
roadblock for a lot of people.
00:49:11.141 --> 00:49:13.784
So thank you, Jason, for bringing that up.
00:49:14.063 --> 00:49:15.204
Wasn't part of the plan,
00:49:15.585 --> 00:49:17.067
but it's such a great point.
00:49:17.106 --> 00:49:19.748
And I think when you think of imposter
00:49:19.809 --> 00:49:20.409
syndrome,
00:49:20.449 --> 00:49:23.150
do you think you're kind of in the
00:49:23.190 --> 00:49:24.172
comparison mode?
00:49:24.231 --> 00:49:24.391
So
00:49:26.273 --> 00:49:28.153
You're kind of thinking, oh,
00:49:28.193 --> 00:49:31.114
I'm pretending to be someone else,
00:49:31.153 --> 00:49:31.494
you know,
00:49:31.793 --> 00:49:35.474
but really who you're being is the best
00:49:35.775 --> 00:49:36.195
you.
00:49:36.514 --> 00:49:38.295
And I think that's so important to
00:49:38.335 --> 00:49:38.856
remember.
00:49:39.275 --> 00:49:41.755
We're always comparing ourselves to the
00:49:41.795 --> 00:49:44.336
person that we're emulating, right?
00:49:44.376 --> 00:49:46.177
I always say I love Mel Robbins and
00:49:46.197 --> 00:49:47.097
I love what she does.
00:49:47.137 --> 00:49:50.737
And so I actually do visualize myself as
00:49:50.898 --> 00:49:51.818
Mel Robbins.
00:49:51.858 --> 00:49:52.759
And I say, you know what?
00:49:52.858 --> 00:49:53.938
I'm going to do a TED talk.
00:49:54.684 --> 00:49:55.864
I'm going to have a podcast.
00:49:56.284 --> 00:49:57.105
I'm going to write a book.
00:49:58.186 --> 00:49:58.905
And you know what?
00:49:58.925 --> 00:50:00.306
Those things are happening.
00:50:00.407 --> 00:50:03.608
And because I'm looking towards a goal,
00:50:03.889 --> 00:50:05.250
not comparing myself,
00:50:05.650 --> 00:50:07.831
not wanting to be just like this person,
00:50:07.871 --> 00:50:09.592
but wanting to, you know,
00:50:09.851 --> 00:50:12.554
take that same track because what matters
00:50:12.574 --> 00:50:15.474
to me is changing lives and helping people
00:50:15.554 --> 00:50:18.257
along the way and helping them not feel
00:50:18.336 --> 00:50:18.697
alone.
00:50:19.117 --> 00:50:21.139
and encouraging them that they are
00:50:21.259 --> 00:50:22.079
awesome.
00:50:22.139 --> 00:50:23.300
Mel says, I love you.
00:50:23.440 --> 00:50:24.862
I always say, you're awesome.
00:50:25.043 --> 00:50:26.664
And I really, really mean it.
00:50:27.125 --> 00:50:31.768
So such a great sidebar there.
00:50:31.849 --> 00:50:33.831
Thank you for that, Jason.
00:50:34.010 --> 00:50:39.096
And every time we go live and we
00:50:39.115 --> 00:50:40.056
get into this room,
00:50:41.016 --> 00:50:43.057
I just feel so grateful.
00:50:43.538 --> 00:50:45.978
I feel grateful for the connections that
00:50:46.119 --> 00:50:47.639
I've made with Nicole and Debbie.
00:50:48.219 --> 00:50:49.699
And I know they feel the same.
00:50:49.860 --> 00:50:52.420
I think some things just happen.
00:50:52.581 --> 00:50:54.960
This just happened and it just felt
00:50:55.001 --> 00:50:55.561
natural.
00:50:55.802 --> 00:50:58.922
And this is one example of, you know,
00:50:59.123 --> 00:51:01.302
not having everything perfect before you
00:51:01.342 --> 00:51:02.003
take the leap.
00:51:02.304 --> 00:51:03.043
Like we were like,
00:51:03.364 --> 00:51:04.563
we went live in the Facebook,
00:51:04.623 --> 00:51:05.625
in my Facebook group,
00:51:05.644 --> 00:51:08.105
the Be Awesome Network and in Debbie's as
00:51:08.164 --> 00:51:08.505
well.
00:51:08.985 --> 00:51:09.706
And, um,
00:51:10.626 --> 00:51:11.905
we were like well we should do this
00:51:11.945 --> 00:51:14.806
in a podcast you know not just not
00:51:14.867 --> 00:51:18.128
just a live facebook and then we're ask
00:51:18.168 --> 00:51:19.909
our audience what should we name this you
00:51:19.929 --> 00:51:22.688
know we're like we're workshopping as we
00:51:22.728 --> 00:51:25.150
go and we literally did we jumped off
00:51:25.210 --> 00:51:27.630
with uh you know some wings and we
00:51:27.670 --> 00:51:29.610
flapped them really hard and now it's
00:51:29.690 --> 00:51:31.512
taking off i just love it i love
00:51:31.552 --> 00:51:34.313
this so thank you nicole and debbie for
00:51:34.413 --> 00:51:36.253
taking the risk with me we should be
00:51:36.333 --> 00:51:38.373
proud and celebrate this right
00:51:39.172 --> 00:51:42.313
yeah no i agree um there's so many
00:51:42.373 --> 00:51:44.934
lessons in just us doing it you know
00:51:44.994 --> 00:51:47.974
it's collaborative leadership it's not
00:51:48.195 --> 00:51:50.815
it's not that oh nicole knows so much
00:51:50.876 --> 00:51:52.936
more than me how could i ever you
00:51:52.956 --> 00:51:54.617
know if i if i help her shine
00:51:54.637 --> 00:51:57.038
then i'm gonna you know shrink back like
00:51:57.097 --> 00:52:00.418
there's so much competitiveness in the
00:52:00.458 --> 00:52:01.278
world right now
00:52:02.119 --> 00:52:03.480
But really, honestly,
00:52:03.539 --> 00:52:05.300
if you look out what you said earlier
00:52:05.340 --> 00:52:06.340
about Mel Robbins,
00:52:06.800 --> 00:52:08.561
it's like she's a mentor to you,
00:52:08.702 --> 00:52:11.023
whether she whether you're paying her one
00:52:11.083 --> 00:52:12.003
on one to be a mentor,
00:52:12.063 --> 00:52:13.164
you look up to her.
00:52:13.505 --> 00:52:15.365
There has been people we've looked up to
00:52:15.405 --> 00:52:16.266
through life,
00:52:16.346 --> 00:52:18.648
through through hundreds of years.
00:52:18.688 --> 00:52:21.068
You know, I was I Nicole,
00:52:21.548 --> 00:52:23.550
we had the opportunity of being in part
00:52:23.590 --> 00:52:26.612
of the inaugural women's journal.
00:52:28.177 --> 00:52:30.697
and that was all of the powerful women.
00:52:30.998 --> 00:52:33.177
We were in that magazine that said,
00:52:33.577 --> 00:52:34.699
you know, we're one of them.
00:52:35.378 --> 00:52:39.280
That's a gift and a privilege to mentor
00:52:39.380 --> 00:52:42.079
other people and to show them that they
00:52:42.099 --> 00:52:42.940
can do it too.
00:52:43.501 --> 00:52:45.800
You said something earlier and it really
00:52:45.860 --> 00:52:47.782
reminded me of why you do the be
00:52:47.842 --> 00:52:48.282
awesome.
00:52:48.322 --> 00:52:49.942
And I do the extraordinary be
00:52:50.001 --> 00:52:52.422
extraordinary exchange or it's,
00:52:53.447 --> 00:52:57.409
that we want to spotlight and celebrate.
00:52:57.630 --> 00:52:59.831
We get gifts back from that.
00:52:59.931 --> 00:53:03.193
We get energy by seeing somebody light up
00:53:03.293 --> 00:53:04.534
and say, wow,
00:53:05.014 --> 00:53:06.996
I did do something extraordinary.
00:53:07.197 --> 00:53:08.237
I am awesome.
00:53:08.757 --> 00:53:10.918
And then we also see the ripple effect
00:53:10.958 --> 00:53:11.960
of other people go,
00:53:12.519 --> 00:53:14.061
I love hearing their story.
00:53:14.362 --> 00:53:15.882
Maybe my story matters.
00:53:16.242 --> 00:53:17.264
Maybe I matter.
00:53:17.963 --> 00:53:19.744
That's really all we're doing here.
00:53:19.764 --> 00:53:20.804
And it's that simple.
00:53:21.244 --> 00:53:23.405
And then this podcast is just a beautiful
00:53:23.445 --> 00:53:25.387
example of three women that come together
00:53:25.427 --> 00:53:25.887
and said,
00:53:26.166 --> 00:53:28.467
we're having these conversations anyway.
00:53:29.108 --> 00:53:31.188
Let's learn a little bit more about some
00:53:31.248 --> 00:53:34.670
tech opportunities and skill sets and just
00:53:34.871 --> 00:53:36.530
do it and learn as we go.
00:53:36.751 --> 00:53:39.751
And so there's bravery, there's courage,
00:53:39.771 --> 00:53:40.952
there's aligned action,
00:53:41.333 --> 00:53:43.233
and there's some skill set growth.
00:53:44.554 --> 00:53:46.976
One of the biggest things that I'm proud
00:53:47.056 --> 00:53:52.460
of, not my goal or my achievement,
00:53:53.322 --> 00:53:54.503
but Lori,
00:53:54.603 --> 00:53:57.105
who has done these beautiful intros and
00:53:57.284 --> 00:53:59.166
outros for our thing.
00:53:59.206 --> 00:54:01.889
She has taken little clips and sayings and
00:54:01.949 --> 00:54:04.190
different things and made it feel like we
00:54:04.210 --> 00:54:06.331
were in a studio together producing this
00:54:06.391 --> 00:54:09.375
podcast so that you could have a better
00:54:09.434 --> 00:54:09.994
experience.
00:54:10.034 --> 00:54:12.016
So you could feel like you're part of
00:54:12.056 --> 00:54:13.137
our studio with us.
00:54:13.697 --> 00:54:15.079
That matters to us.
00:54:15.378 --> 00:54:16.860
That's the aligned action.
00:54:17.320 --> 00:54:20.961
So I'll get off my talking and hand
00:54:20.981 --> 00:54:22.023
it back to you guys.
00:54:22.103 --> 00:54:24.643
But this is just a beautiful example.
00:54:26.056 --> 00:54:26.677
Well,
00:54:26.737 --> 00:54:28.097
I love that because as Lonnie mentioned,
00:54:28.137 --> 00:54:30.059
and because she's echoing what you said,
00:54:30.099 --> 00:54:31.561
collaborative leadership,
00:54:31.880 --> 00:54:34.402
we didn't necessarily have it all charted
00:54:34.463 --> 00:54:34.563
out.
00:54:34.583 --> 00:54:36.483
We didn't have a project in any kind
00:54:36.523 --> 00:54:37.905
of project management system.
00:54:37.925 --> 00:54:39.485
We didn't have dates or deadlines.
00:54:39.847 --> 00:54:42.447
We just started going and we saw a
00:54:42.467 --> 00:54:44.090
need and I saw a need for an
00:54:44.190 --> 00:54:44.710
intro.
00:54:44.750 --> 00:54:45.530
And then we said, well,
00:54:45.550 --> 00:54:46.891
we should have an outro too.
00:54:46.931 --> 00:54:48.612
And it was so fun.
00:54:48.733 --> 00:54:50.074
And Nicole and Debbie are like, oh,
00:54:50.514 --> 00:54:51.655
You guys, you're doing so much.
00:54:51.675 --> 00:54:52.815
You're working so hard.
00:54:52.835 --> 00:54:54.016
I'm like, it's not work.
00:54:54.096 --> 00:54:54.976
It's fun.
00:54:55.217 --> 00:54:58.639
So that's what it should feel like when
00:54:58.659 --> 00:55:00.280
you're doing something that's aligned,
00:55:00.320 --> 00:55:02.940
when you're taking a risk that matters,
00:55:02.960 --> 00:55:06.043
when you're going after that heart of
00:55:06.083 --> 00:55:08.224
yours that you know you've got more,
00:55:08.364 --> 00:55:09.344
you've got purpose.
00:55:10.045 --> 00:55:11.387
you want to move forward.
00:55:11.467 --> 00:55:14.148
And I think that's why I'm so impressed
00:55:14.248 --> 00:55:16.550
with Ignite and Debbie and Nicole,
00:55:16.650 --> 00:55:20.032
you coming up with this way for people
00:55:20.092 --> 00:55:20.873
to actually,
00:55:21.394 --> 00:55:24.317
people who have a need and a want,
00:55:24.476 --> 00:55:26.798
and it doesn't have to necessarily be even
00:55:26.838 --> 00:55:27.458
a business,
00:55:27.498 --> 00:55:29.320
but something that they want to do,
00:55:29.621 --> 00:55:30.302
that they're stuck.
00:55:30.981 --> 00:55:33.664
and so there's a there's a qr code
00:55:33.923 --> 00:55:36.326
and on the screen if you're with us
00:55:36.485 --> 00:55:39.128
watching and we'll be sure to drop the
00:55:39.168 --> 00:55:42.130
link also in the comments but um you
00:55:42.150 --> 00:55:44.090
know this we were talking about this
00:55:44.570 --> 00:55:46.192
before we went live and it was like
00:55:46.231 --> 00:55:48.614
you know what we should mention ignite so
00:55:49.313 --> 00:55:51.476
the reason we want to do this is
00:55:51.516 --> 00:55:54.297
because you know we're talking about
00:55:54.418 --> 00:55:56.838
enough is enough we have to acknowledge
00:55:56.858 --> 00:55:58.900
that so many of us feel that way
00:55:58.940 --> 00:56:00.722
about our own progress we have the
00:56:01.061 --> 00:56:02.402
certifications like Nicole.
00:56:02.422 --> 00:56:04.085
We've got the notebooks full of ideas.
00:56:04.344 --> 00:56:05.706
We have the heart for what we want
00:56:05.726 --> 00:56:06.106
to do,
00:56:06.146 --> 00:56:08.088
but we're stuck in a loop of overthinking
00:56:08.128 --> 00:56:09.009
and preparing.
00:56:09.568 --> 00:56:11.291
And then we talked about the circle and
00:56:11.550 --> 00:56:12.952
who are you surrounding yourself?
00:56:12.992 --> 00:56:13.192
Well,
00:56:13.592 --> 00:56:16.775
this is the very tight circle and I'm
00:56:16.795 --> 00:56:19.297
going to get to participate as a bonus
00:56:19.356 --> 00:56:20.978
week, but it's, it's,
00:56:21.679 --> 00:56:24.842
only ten people can be invited to be
00:56:24.882 --> 00:56:27.505
a part of ignite so it's it's not
00:56:27.525 --> 00:56:30.106
just a course it's actually a meeting it's
00:56:30.226 --> 00:56:32.509
it's a person to person it's a a
00:56:32.570 --> 00:56:36.532
group you know uh experience so it's four
00:56:36.572 --> 00:56:39.215
weeks and it's designed for entrepreneurs
00:56:39.235 --> 00:56:41.717
or coaches and leaders who are done with
00:56:41.797 --> 00:56:43.280
learning and ready for doing
00:56:43.760 --> 00:56:45.762
so i just wanted to mention that uh
00:56:45.822 --> 00:56:47.844
it's starting wednesday august nineteenth
00:56:47.864 --> 00:56:50.847
so it's coming up and we're creating a
00:56:50.907 --> 00:56:53.028
structured supportive environment where
00:56:53.128 --> 00:56:55.492
the goal isn't more knowledge like i said
00:56:55.592 --> 00:56:59.155
it's momentum so i i did when i
00:56:59.195 --> 00:57:01.318
mentioned that we decided we just throw it
00:57:01.398 --> 00:57:03.619
out there because you guys are are are
00:57:03.659 --> 00:57:05.461
Tribe, you are with us.
00:57:05.561 --> 00:57:07.382
You love us every single week.
00:57:08.623 --> 00:57:09.125
Thank you.
00:57:09.505 --> 00:57:12.527
It's ignite.debbyprediger.com.
00:57:12.547 --> 00:57:13.829
You can go to that website.
00:57:14.389 --> 00:57:14.989
But like I said,
00:57:15.050 --> 00:57:17.411
we'll drop the link in the comments as
00:57:17.492 --> 00:57:17.791
well.
00:57:17.851 --> 00:57:19.594
And you can always scan that QR code.
00:57:19.634 --> 00:57:24.398
But so today, when is enough enough?
00:57:25.438 --> 00:57:26.358
I love this topic.
00:57:26.440 --> 00:57:28.161
And I think we could talk about this
00:57:28.240 --> 00:57:30.143
for one whole more hour.
00:57:30.163 --> 00:57:30.402
Yeah.
00:57:32.452 --> 00:57:33.932
But I did want to mention we have
00:57:34.072 --> 00:57:36.675
an amazing resource every single week.
00:57:36.755 --> 00:57:37.936
There's a reflection guide.
00:57:37.956 --> 00:57:39.096
It's on our website.
00:57:39.516 --> 00:57:42.077
You can go to shareddiarypodcast.com slash
00:57:42.177 --> 00:57:44.099
guide and get it.
00:57:44.139 --> 00:57:46.581
So episode nine is already up on the
00:57:46.621 --> 00:57:47.302
website.
00:57:47.581 --> 00:57:50.684
And there are some deep dive questions for
00:57:50.724 --> 00:57:51.264
you there.
00:57:51.744 --> 00:57:55.527
There's some lines on the paper that you
00:57:55.547 --> 00:57:56.347
can write on.
00:57:56.568 --> 00:57:59.369
You can also just have another diary by
00:57:59.510 --> 00:58:02.012
your side and free flow the writing.
00:58:02.753 --> 00:58:06.023
I was going to even just go through
00:58:06.043 --> 00:58:08.070
some of this content because it's so good,
00:58:08.110 --> 00:58:08.954
but we've run out of time.
00:58:10.938 --> 00:58:12.599
So it's great.
00:58:12.619 --> 00:58:14.800
It has so many more questions and
00:58:15.099 --> 00:58:15.659
thoughts.
00:58:15.940 --> 00:58:18.621
And I'll just give you one little thing.
00:58:18.661 --> 00:58:20.342
This is the shared diary challenge.
00:58:20.362 --> 00:58:20.961
This week,
00:58:21.443 --> 00:58:23.202
write down three things that your younger
00:58:23.262 --> 00:58:24.844
self would be incredibly proud of.
00:58:25.344 --> 00:58:26.585
When you accomplish something,
00:58:26.625 --> 00:58:28.045
don't rush to the next goal.
00:58:28.105 --> 00:58:30.266
Pause, celebrate it, and receive it.
00:58:30.786 --> 00:58:32.527
Notice how often your inner voice says,
00:58:32.606 --> 00:58:35.789
yes, but, and try replacing it with, yes,
00:58:36.188 --> 00:58:36.409
and.
00:58:37.128 --> 00:58:38.630
I'm proud of how far I've come.
00:58:38.969 --> 00:58:41.451
So write down three things that your
00:58:41.471 --> 00:58:43.311
younger self, you know,
00:58:43.592 --> 00:58:45.331
she would be proud she or he would
00:58:45.351 --> 00:58:45.931
be proud of.
00:58:46.112 --> 00:58:49.393
So that's just a one little snippet of,
00:58:49.773 --> 00:58:50.114
you know,
00:58:50.313 --> 00:58:52.954
what you can expect for this guide.
00:58:53.014 --> 00:58:54.815
So be sure and go to that and
00:58:54.835 --> 00:58:58.396
go to sharedirepodcast.com and click and
00:58:58.416 --> 00:59:00.358
sign up for weekly emails that you'll
00:59:00.398 --> 00:59:01.697
receive this guide every week.
00:59:02.159 --> 00:59:03.378
So yeah,
00:59:03.739 --> 00:59:04.480
We love you guys.
00:59:04.780 --> 00:59:06.942
And I just want to say, thank you.
00:59:07.101 --> 00:59:08.543
Thank you for being here.
00:59:08.563 --> 00:59:10.505
Thank you for being a part of a
00:59:10.545 --> 00:59:11.324
conversation.
00:59:11.364 --> 00:59:14.108
Thank you for pouring out your heart and
00:59:14.248 --> 00:59:16.610
your thoughts and your questions.
00:59:16.869 --> 00:59:17.010
We,
00:59:17.250 --> 00:59:19.052
a lot of times during these conversations,
00:59:19.072 --> 00:59:21.253
we'll have someone make a comment that
00:59:21.454 --> 00:59:22.474
says, you know,
00:59:22.835 --> 00:59:25.257
during my battle with cancer or when I
00:59:25.297 --> 00:59:26.677
lost my mom or whatever,
00:59:27.297 --> 00:59:30.278
These are meaningful transitional type
00:59:30.619 --> 00:59:32.539
topics every single week,
00:59:32.739 --> 00:59:34.760
and you can expect to have a meaningful
00:59:34.800 --> 00:59:35.519
conversation.
00:59:35.579 --> 00:59:38.621
So we hope you continue to join us
00:59:38.780 --> 00:59:39.420
every week,
00:59:39.440 --> 00:59:42.400
two PM Eastern Friday on Facebook,
00:59:42.780 --> 00:59:45.181
YouTube, and LinkedIn.
00:59:45.422 --> 00:59:47.621
So again, Debbie mentioned the technology.
00:59:47.641 --> 00:59:48.963
We just dove in and figured out how
00:59:49.003 --> 00:59:49.402
to do it.
00:59:49.463 --> 00:59:50.123
And here we are.
00:59:51.255 --> 00:59:54.135
but i would like to hear from debbie
00:59:54.195 --> 00:59:56.516
and nicole again i just would love to
00:59:56.556 --> 01:00:00.516
hear your final thoughts we always say if
01:00:00.536 --> 01:00:02.378
you wrote down one sentence at the bottom
01:00:02.418 --> 01:00:05.157
of today's diary what would it say uh
01:00:06.059 --> 01:00:10.059
what would you say debbie well i was
01:00:10.099 --> 01:00:13.420
thinking of like wow i have accomplished a
01:00:13.480 --> 01:00:17.800
lot i have done some things and what
01:00:17.820 --> 01:00:20.422
would i say if i was coaching me
01:00:21.829 --> 01:00:23.389
My diary entry would be,
01:00:23.650 --> 01:00:29.391
I am proud of you, period.
01:00:29.490 --> 01:00:30.092
I love that.
01:00:30.112 --> 01:00:30.532
There you go.
01:00:33.132 --> 01:00:34.293
I love that so much.
01:00:34.313 --> 01:00:38.253
I, you know, as we were doing this,
01:00:38.273 --> 01:00:39.954
I think what I would write at the
01:00:39.974 --> 01:00:42.456
bottom is just slow down and smell the
01:00:42.496 --> 01:00:45.356
roses, like slow down, slow down,
01:00:46.117 --> 01:00:47.836
just be here right now.
01:00:48.036 --> 01:00:49.137
I think, um,
01:00:50.179 --> 01:00:53.880
That would be the biggest thing for me
01:00:54.320 --> 01:00:56.902
as I keep getting messages from podcasts
01:00:56.981 --> 01:00:58.422
and from books and everything.
01:00:58.463 --> 01:01:01.324
It's like really one of the biggest
01:01:01.623 --> 01:01:03.585
successful things in our lives is to
01:01:03.724 --> 01:01:06.306
actually be present and to be here.
01:01:06.726 --> 01:01:08.887
And so I want to keep slowing down
01:01:08.947 --> 01:01:11.268
so I don't miss the moments.
01:01:11.289 --> 01:01:12.829
While I'm striving to do other things,
01:01:12.889 --> 01:01:14.369
I want to miss the moments that are
01:01:14.389 --> 01:01:17.192
already here that are so amazing.
01:01:17.311 --> 01:01:17.391
Wow.
01:01:18.530 --> 01:01:18.769
Wow.
01:01:18.789 --> 01:01:19.610
I love that.
01:01:19.650 --> 01:01:22.711
Well, my sentence is you are enough.
01:01:23.731 --> 01:01:27.313
And that's just something that I need to
01:01:27.414 --> 01:01:30.635
sit with and believe and know so that
01:01:30.715 --> 01:01:34.577
when I believe that the things I do
01:01:34.657 --> 01:01:36.036
come stem from that.
01:01:36.336 --> 01:01:38.737
And I really do believe that when you
01:01:38.818 --> 01:01:41.179
tap into your inner awesomeness and you
01:01:41.219 --> 01:01:42.500
believe that you're awesome and
01:01:43.400 --> 01:01:46.280
and you follow that heart that intuition
01:01:46.320 --> 01:01:49.402
that voice inside your head saying you
01:01:49.442 --> 01:01:51.242
should do this or what if you did
01:01:51.302 --> 01:01:56.103
this that your life starts to change and
01:01:56.322 --> 01:01:58.603
the path you take starts to open up
01:01:59.304 --> 01:02:00.543
you may be standing in front of a
01:02:00.605 --> 01:02:02.965
field of like high grass and you don't
01:02:03.005 --> 01:02:05.286
know where to go but once you start
01:02:05.306 --> 01:02:08.427
to take that machete and tear down that
01:02:08.447 --> 01:02:10.086
path and chart that path
01:02:10.726 --> 01:02:14.827
You might come into a field of wildflowers
01:02:15.068 --> 01:02:16.668
and a beautiful sunset.
01:02:16.849 --> 01:02:19.048
And that's where I feel like where my
01:02:19.088 --> 01:02:19.929
life is headed.
01:02:20.048 --> 01:02:22.130
And I want you to visualize that for
01:02:22.150 --> 01:02:22.730
yourself.
01:02:23.309 --> 01:02:25.550
I want you to know that it's possible.
01:02:26.190 --> 01:02:28.271
And it doesn't mean there won't be bug
01:02:28.291 --> 01:02:30.351
bites or, you know,
01:02:30.851 --> 01:02:33.192
think scratches from the limbs that you're
01:02:33.231 --> 01:02:35.112
going through the tree limbs.
01:02:35.753 --> 01:02:38.635
But it does mean that you can and
01:02:38.675 --> 01:02:39.836
you are enough.
01:02:39.976 --> 01:02:41.378
So that's mine.
01:02:41.557 --> 01:02:44.320
That's mine.
01:02:44.340 --> 01:02:44.501
Well,
01:02:44.521 --> 01:02:47.123
any last and final thoughts before we call
01:02:47.222 --> 01:02:48.184
it a day?
01:02:49.585 --> 01:02:51.266
Grateful, grateful.
01:02:51.427 --> 01:02:53.228
It's just a beautiful conversation.
01:02:53.349 --> 01:02:54.510
And wow,
01:02:55.670 --> 01:02:57.411
there's people in the world that need
01:02:57.452 --> 01:02:57.731
this.
01:02:57.771 --> 01:02:58.992
So if you can share it,
01:02:59.052 --> 01:03:00.315
we'd sure appreciate it.
01:03:01.094 --> 01:03:01.916
Yeah, thank you.
01:03:03.280 --> 01:03:04.041
Absolutely.
01:03:04.201 --> 01:03:04.681
Yes.
01:03:04.740 --> 01:03:07.342
Please like and follow and share,
01:03:07.782 --> 01:03:09.083
subscribe on YouTube.
01:03:09.143 --> 01:03:10.425
So you get the little bell when we
01:03:10.465 --> 01:03:13.106
go live and we have events on LinkedIn
01:03:13.427 --> 01:03:14.706
and Facebook.
01:03:14.788 --> 01:03:16.248
You can join those as well and be
01:03:16.288 --> 01:03:19.369
reminded, but just want to say thanks.
01:03:19.471 --> 01:03:22.992
Thanks for being a part and thanks for
01:03:23.152 --> 01:03:24.054
being here.
01:03:24.454 --> 01:03:26.054
And if you're watching the replay or
01:03:26.114 --> 01:03:27.376
listening to the replay,
01:03:27.456 --> 01:03:28.757
we care about you as well.
01:03:28.797 --> 01:03:30.978
You can go to the shared diary.com.
01:03:32.099 --> 01:03:35.782
the shared diary podcast.com and connect
01:03:35.822 --> 01:03:37.063
with us there as well.
01:03:37.182 --> 01:03:39.344
So thanks for being here.
01:03:39.425 --> 01:03:40.766
It's been a pleasure,
01:03:40.846 --> 01:03:43.367
a joy and so much fun.
01:03:43.568 --> 01:03:47.331
So we love you and we look forward
01:03:47.351 --> 01:03:48.713
to this every single week.
01:03:48.753 --> 01:03:50.994
So thanks for being a part of the
01:03:51.014 --> 01:03:54.398
shared diary where life is better when the
01:03:54.458 --> 01:03:55.518
diary is open.
01:04:00.099 --> 01:04:02.300
Before we close today's diary,
01:04:02.621 --> 01:04:03.702
we just want to say thank you.
01:04:04.202 --> 01:04:05.804
Thank you for spending your time with us,
01:04:06.103 --> 01:04:07.625
for listening, for reflecting,
01:04:07.724 --> 01:04:09.485
and for being willing to open your heart
01:04:09.545 --> 01:04:10.326
along with ours.
01:04:10.746 --> 01:04:12.467
It truly means more than you know.
01:04:12.967 --> 01:04:14.909
The shared diary isn't just our story,
01:04:14.949 --> 01:04:15.710
it's yours too.
01:04:16.110 --> 01:04:17.871
If today's conversation encouraged you,
01:04:17.951 --> 01:04:18.590
challenged you,
01:04:18.791 --> 01:04:20.393
or reminded you that you're not alone,
01:04:20.753 --> 01:04:22.253
we'd love for you to stay connected.
01:04:22.813 --> 01:04:25.737
You can find us at shareddiarypodcast.com
01:04:25.777 --> 01:04:27.619
where you'll discover episode archives,
01:04:27.679 --> 01:04:28.420
resources,
01:04:28.481 --> 01:04:30.123
and ways to connect with our community.
01:04:30.704 --> 01:04:32.226
If you'd like to reach out to Lori,
01:04:32.266 --> 01:04:33.327
Debbie, or Nicole,
01:04:33.728 --> 01:04:35.369
you'll find all of our information there
01:04:35.409 --> 01:04:35.791
as well.
01:04:36.291 --> 01:04:37.632
We'd love to hear your story.
01:04:38.231 --> 01:04:40.253
If you're watching on YouTube, Facebook,
01:04:40.454 --> 01:04:41.253
or LinkedIn,
01:04:41.315 --> 01:04:43.197
don't forget to like this episode,
01:04:43.277 --> 01:04:45.179
leave us a comment and subscribe so you
01:04:45.259 --> 01:04:46.500
never miss a conversation.
01:04:47.081 --> 01:04:48.802
And if you're listening on Apple podcasts,
01:04:48.822 --> 01:04:51.105
Spotify, or wherever you enjoy podcasts,
01:04:51.144 --> 01:04:52.286
be sure to follow the show,
01:04:52.606 --> 01:04:54.268
leave a rating and share it with someone
01:04:54.309 --> 01:04:56.030
who might need to hear today's message.
01:04:56.731 --> 01:04:58.193
Most importantly, keep showing up,
01:04:58.534 --> 01:04:59.155
keep growing,
01:04:59.416 --> 01:05:01.639
keep sharing your story because life is
01:05:01.699 --> 01:05:03.141
better when the diary is open.
01:05:03.601 --> 01:05:04.402
We're here for you.
01:05:04.663 --> 01:05:05.384
You're not alone.
01:05:05.704 --> 01:05:08.068
We'll see you next time on the shared
01:05:08.088 --> 01:05:08.429
diary.