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Hi again.
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Welcome to Shamelessly Ambitious.
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I'm really hoping that you listened to last week's episode because it gives a lot of context that I think is necessary for this episode.
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So if you haven't, go back and listen, episode 208, or just fucking free ball it with me and we'll go down this path of I don't know what I'm doing, and I feel really confused in my life right now.
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Confused and partially sometimes inspired and other times dreadfully exhausted and just kind of all over the place.
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And I can no longer blame my hormones because for the past several years, I have tested myself every quarter.
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I supplement based on my body.
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I do all the right things.
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I've I have explored my ADHD at a more psychiatric level as opposed to self-managing it for years.
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I've done a lot of things to like, is this why?
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Is this why?
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Is this why?
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And ultimately, I declared in the last episode that I am going to spend the next 90 days starting October 1st just fucking figuring it out.
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Because I can't, I can't accurately just accurately, oh my God.
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It is so hard to talk when you're so excited to get something out of your mouth.
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I cannot accurately decide whether I'm done with entrepreneurship while I'm only half fucking participating in it.
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That's the truth of it.
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And I'm gonna push into it before deciding whether or not I walk away.
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Here's the thing.
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I have been feeling very in and out of my business and my profession and my mission.
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I I said this last time, but I'll say it again.
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Like, so in love with the client work that I do.
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You can't take that away from me.
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I love it so much.
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But there's been a lot of other things that I'm like, eh, I'm just not as dedicated to it as I once was.
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And it's kind of been longer than I'd love to admit.
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I'm not getting the dopamine or the excitement or the feeling that I used to get.
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And I think that's very fundamental to sustainability.
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And so I want to get those things back, but only if I'm meant to.
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I think we live in this weird world of is this discomfort a sign that I shouldn't be doing it, or is it discomfort I should push into?
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And essentially I'm gonna push into the discomfort for the next 90 days so that I can ultimately decide: am I done?
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Has this chapter closed?
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Is it time for me to move on to something else?
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Or have I been playing really small and sort of created this problem myself?
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And so I figured I needed to do a follow-up episode and talk to you about some of the rules that I have created for myself and what you might see.
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And maybe you want to do it with me, which would be so cool too, but I'm doing it either way, so it doesn't matter.
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But also, I think it's really I personally love to hear when people are going all in on themselves and what they're doing to do that.
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So I also personally, I need observable behaviors, right?
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I need something that's not just another vague intention, but also not another vast, like it's so big, it's gonna take year.
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I mean, the truth of the matter is losing weight, getting in shape, changing your eating habits, changing your mindset, these are ongoing forever kinds of things.
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So I'm not gonna not work on these, but I needed very actionable micro commitments that I could take throughout these 90 days just to show up.
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Now, that being said, one of the more macro commitments is that I am gonna show up on social media for 90 days.
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Part of that is just the accountability of it.
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Part of it is because obviously going all in on business means maximizing visibility.
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And while I still am doing a lot of the things I've been doing while off of social media, I just feel like this is an opportunity and I'm gonna take it and I'm going to publish something every single day.
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And I'm not gonna overthink it.
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I'm not gonna overcomplicate it.
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I'm just gonna show up.
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And I think there's also some added benefit for me personally, maybe for you as well, but an added benefit of figuring out who the hell I am on that path because I have something I'm showing up for and something I'm speaking about.
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Again, I think we can we can heal ourselves.
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I said this in the last episode, but I think that we can overheal ourselves into a demise.
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And I'm not trying to heal anything, I'm trying to answer a question.
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And the only way to answer it is through evidence.
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So I am gonna show up.
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That's a bigger macro, macro goal.
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But the other thing I'm gonna be actively doing is practicing discomfort.
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So taking very uncomfortable business action every single week, whether that's I have a billion different ideas for how I'm gonna do this, but literally seeking out some no's and some rejection, following up on certain things that maybe feels a little uncomfortable for me.
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Part of the social media thing will be uncomfortable, of course, as well.
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But I'm going to practice discomfort and I'm going to track the practice of discomfort.
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Okay.
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I'm also really going to protect my attention.
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And that's one of the big reasons why I love social media, but also something that I feel like has been an issue for me is again, things like creating before I consume, uh, really, really honing in and coming back to the same thing that I've taught for years.
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And I'm decent at it, but we can all use a little refresh of very focused task, like working on something, 10 minute start, let's go, getting it done, not procrastinating, not overthinking, really working on these behaviors that I feel like are holding me back.
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I'm also really going to prioritize opportunities.
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So think about this through the lens of money making.
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We love it.
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We love to hate it, the idea of income-producing activities, okay, which is IPAs, if you want to get all fancy.
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I have not taken those seriously in a really long time.
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And I think somewhat because success, like when you push so hard, I did create a lot of sustainable but also like reoccurring success for myself, which is a really, really great thing.
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But it also allowed me to get really comfortable.
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And it's been a little while since I again more discomfort.
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And no, I'm not trying to be perfect here.
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I'm not trying to track every single thing, but I am trying to check in with questions around like, what happens when I fully participate in this again?
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Does my excitement return?
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Does my momentum return?
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Do I want to keep going?
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You know, like what is the information?
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What's the data?
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I'm really just collecting data.
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It's ultimately 90 days to figure out is this where I stay or is this when I say goodbye?
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And I'm just gonna tag you along, whether you want to be there or not.
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Actually, obviously you could choose not to be there, but I'll talk a little bit about it on the podcast, of course, and within my email if you're already on the email list.
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But I am officially back on social media, at least through the end of the year, to really bring you along on this beginning October 1st.
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So that's that.
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Wanted to give you a little behind the scenes of what my plans are and they will likely shift and change, but also invite you to radically take control of your life.
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And I wish that somebody along the way would have grabbed me by my shoulders and shook me a little bit and said, You're letting it slip.
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And that's a really vulnerable thing for me to say because I didn't feel it.
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I didn't know it.
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This is hindsight.
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But also I wish that somebody would have seen that so much of who I've always been was just sort of disappearing and has been for years, just minutely, little bits at a time.
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And I have been actively trying to find her again, as opposed to what this next 90 days is, is not trying to find an older version of me, but reigniting a new version of me.
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That edge, that excitement, that momentum that exists in the 39-year-old body with three children that are much older.
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And I can't even wrap my head around the fact that they're basically like adults.
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They're not, but they feel like they are in some ways.
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And in this new life that I've built with all this wisdom and all these understandings that didn't exist before.
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And ultimately, really, really, really leaning into a little bit more risk and a little bit more discomfort.
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And I hope you will come along.
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As I dive into the deep end, my friend.