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This is Study Sessions brought to you by Sex Ed Debunked.
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In these mini-sodes we'll discuss a myth suggested to us by listeners.
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The study group is in session.
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Hi, this is Study Sessions, a bi-weekly Minnesota from Sex Ed Debunked, where we talk about topics brought to us by you, our listeners On this week's episode.
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we're talking about the age-old question does size matter?
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Which, admittedly, might not be the question on your mind, shannon, but it's often discussed by people here to let you know that people of all orientations have to consider the size of things that are interacting with their bodies.
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True.
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True, it's discussed by people who have in play with penises, so not generally a discussion concerned with female parts specifically.
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Understood.
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So two probably points of discussion when it comes to the size-mattering question.
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One, biologically does it matter?
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Sure Like, does it actually affect pleasure in your ability to enjoy and to horizontal?
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And two, the psychological impact, because the question to size matter is probably asked and considered and worried about more than it actually mattering in practice.
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Very true, very true, and that's part of the reason we're doing this Study Session.
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So the answer to both questions is yes, but not in the way you might think.
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Yes, size does matter.
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It does matter.
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Let me grab my popcorn.
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Let's go.
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Well, first of all, biological size can mean length or girth.
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A lot of times people just talk about length and medical research has found on the plus size.
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Penis size does not affect desirability, function or health.
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So in that sense it doesn't matter at all.
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But to some extent length or girth can affect what parts of a female vulva and vaginal canal are stimulated during penetration.
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So it might matter in terms of fit but not matter in terms of measurement.
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Although the orgasm gap.
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A big part of that is that female bodies don't necessarily reach orgasm through penetration anyway, right?
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You are correct, bingo, but some women nevertheless enjoy the feeling of feeling full or feeling connected, regardless of whether or not it leads to an orgasm.
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So often, research tells us that translates to a certain girth, not length, which should be comforting to some.
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But what, yeah, so comforting?
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Well, because I think people with penises, when they get fixated and they get anxious about things like size, they're usually thinking about how long is it compared to others?
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And the research studies that are out there show that female bodies rate penis girth as more important than penis length.
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In fact, some women report experiencing pain when the length of the penis is longer than average, because thrusting can hit the cervix, which can be painful.
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So, in other words, bigger isn't always better in this circumstance.
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Well, also it's not a simple question of does size matter?
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There is more.
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There is more that goes into that.
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Exactly Because all body parts, all body parts come in different sizes and different flexibility, and for some female bodies they can accommodate more than others.
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So it's not about looking at one size fits all literally.
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It's about what, what bodies like, what types of girth, what types of length, but keeping in mind that it doesn't affect function, it doesn't affect health, it doesn't affect satisfaction, it's just a question of preference.
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I think it's also worth pausing.
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And you know, I think a submith here is like well you know, if a giant kind of accommodate anything because they can have a woman push out babies, it's like that's.
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That is true.
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That doesn't mean it's comfortable, it doesn't mean that every size is going to work Well.
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And also, pushing out babies is a process.
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You don't just like wake up and push out a baby.
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You know you're going into labor for a while, your body gets accommodated, your vaginal canal stretches, your cervix stretches all of these things happen during that process and not necessarily all of those things are happening during sexual activity in that in that long, extended way Well and I think when we asked the or when the question is asked of, does size matter, people often think about too small.
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But there's also the flip side of like quote unquote too big.
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And the question here is what, when, when the fixation on size is like too small, too big, you got to keep in mind what what the real, true science says about the averages.
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Yeah, remember when we did the episode last year with Miss Bloom and we talked about?
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We were talking about pornography in the adult film industry, but we were talking also about the exaggerations nationwide of size.
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And what was it Alabama that absolutely insisted they were all niners.
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It's true and that's where this obsession comes from is so much, there's so much porn available and so much which leads to that social comparison.
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But when we talk about the real numbers, the real numbers say the average penis size when not aroused is three and a half inches and when aroused is between Not nine, alabama, no, it's between five and five and a half.
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So you're talking about the outliers are being people who are over, like six, six and a half.
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It's like they say 5%.
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So Alabama, unless you're in the top 5%, well, it would be the one category, alabama's the top 5%.
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But on the other side, for those people with penises who are anxious about it, even for even for is like if you're for, you're really kind of at the end of average anyway.
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Okay, so it's not, it's not like that unusual.
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And we talked about this again.
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We have covered this subject, you know, tangentially in other episodes, but most men think that the average size is six inches, which it isn't, and most women actually believe that the penises that they've interacted with are larger, so that's good news for male listeners.
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Women are very poor judges of size, as it turns out.
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They are, though, interestingly, the research says that men who have sex with men, people with penises, who have sex with people with penises, are actually better judges of actual size.
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Well, of course they are.
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They have a better reference point.
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But for those of you in the heterosexual community, you can know that your women think you're bigger than you are anyway, which is interesting, which is really helpful.
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So why?
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Why, the obsession it's like?
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Let's get to the part two, where there is the psychological impact of it.
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Well, psychologically, we have.
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We have.
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We have porn there's, it's really available.
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We have this idea that is promulgated through media that bigger is better and it's and it does.
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It does permeate both sides.
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You know, female bodies, male bodies, all of it seems to think that bigger is better and it's.
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It's kind of a cultural thing that's really completely misplaced.
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When there was so, there was an interesting research study done where women were asked about looking at actually 3D, like printers of penises to evaluate which ones they liked and which ones they didn't.
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And really the women pointed out like six inches.
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So it wasn't like they were pointing out seven, eight, nine, and most women were just yeah, so most women were still looking at the average as being what they wanted, even though society says I want a big.
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You know BBC, whatever.
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You know those things.
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In reality, the actual preference is leaning towards the average.
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The average is perfectly great and perfectly what's expected.
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There is another study that was looking at appearance and suggests that heterosexual women looking for a one-night stand might prefer a slightly larger, probably just for the cachet.
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Yeah right to be able to be like.
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Well, look what I did last night.
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Pretty much, but in long-term relationships, in long-term relationships, you want something that's more, you know, comfortable and suits your activity over the long-term, so to speak.
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So you know, okay, great Women, volvo-owning people who enjoy interacting with penises are like average, is great, awesome.
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But the truth is, too, that people that own penises have a lot of dissatisfaction with the appearance of their genitals because of that cultural, you know, stigma.
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Well, and that's across female bodies and male bodies.
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The research will show that, you know, a high percentage, like a third of people this one study of 3,500 Swedish men and women, almost a full third had dissatisfaction with their genitalia.
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And that's just a cultural problem that we just we're so constantly comparing ourselves to other people and we don't realize that.
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You know, we're all different, we're all beautiful, it all works just fine, and that's just a cultural thing we have to break around from.
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And unfortunately, what that's led to is many male bodies with penises wanting to have enlargements and surgeries and things like that, rather than simply accepting who they are and realizing that what they got is perfectly fine.
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That's a job done.
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But it really does talk about like stress and diet, depression and that leads to actually not willing to be in relationships and feeling like I'm not good enough, and part of the reason for this study session is to say yes, you are.
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Yes, you are.
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And as a reminder, there are a lot of other ways to get to orgasm than penetration.
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And you know, sometimes if you have less to work with, you have more to work with in terms of creativity.
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But that's once again, it's you're talking about the body that you're having engaging in sexual activity with.
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Have some communication, just figure out what works for you.
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And it's not about, you know, the size.
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The size is just one teeny tiny element well, hopefully not teeny tiny, but one element of one element of the sexual interaction that you're engaged in.
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And so studies that have looked at women and there's actually a fair amount of studies, of course you know, heterosexual women, primarily because a lot of the anxiety is in the syshet world of male bodies but say that only about 50% say it's somewhat important.
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Yeah, now, that's somewhat.
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It's just kind of like meh, it's one of the things I think about A lot of wiggle room in that somewhat, and in a lot of those studies they're only giving the option of very important, somewhat important, not important at all.
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So you have half that say somewhat important, but that means like there's a quarter that say I don't care at all.
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So you think about that.
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That breakdown is like there's a very, you know, like maybe 10, 15% who really care at all.
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And even within that somewhat important or very important it's, they're answering that question based on just sort of in general, is this something that matters?
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But again, once you're with a partner, you're going to figure out different things that you like and don't like and you're going to establish different comfort with each other and you're going to experiment and like.
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All of those things are going to contribute to a healthy, pleasurable sex life and they're not going to revolve around the most basic question of does size?
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matter, right?
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So the basic answer here is size does not matter for physical function, for sexual satisfaction, for being desirable, it absolutely does not matter.
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It does matter if you think it does.
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So I guess it would be fair to say get out of your head, Get, get out of your head.
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That's a good way of putting it, that's a good reminder, you know, but that's it.
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It only matters if you think it matters.
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And so let's just kind of like, take this study session and realize that that what's actually going on in the real world of science and in the real world of relationships, it's not that big of a deal to be that big of a deal.
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Yep, all right.
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Well, that's a wrap on this week's study session.
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Thank you for that.
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As usual, we love hearing what topics you'd like us to cover every week.
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Even the most simple basic subjects.
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We love to tackle them in the study sessions.
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But if you have any ideas for full length episodes and myths you'd like us to debunk whatever you've got, set it over to us at sexeddebunkedgmailcom or on any of the socials at sexeddebunked.
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Take care everyone.
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See you next time.
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Sexed Debunked is produced by Trailblaze Media in Providence, rhode Island, for sound producers Ezra Winters, with production assistance from Shay Weintraub.
00:00:03.626 --> 00:00:05.871
This is Study Sessions brought to you by Sex Ed Debunked.
00:00:06.660 --> 00:00:10.329
In these mini-sodes we'll discuss a myth suggested to us by listeners.
00:00:10.329 --> 00:00:11.961
Like you, Like what?
00:00:11.980 --> 00:00:12.884
you hear, want to hear more?
00:00:12.884 --> 00:00:16.809
Follow us on Instagram, facebook and Twitter at Sex Ed Debunked to suggest new myths.
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Provide your own show notes and give us ideas for what to talk about next.
00:00:20.248 --> 00:00:21.111
Now take some notes.
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The study group is in session.
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Hi, this is Study Sessions, a bi-weekly Minnesota from Sex Ed Debunked, where we talk about topics brought to us by you, our listeners On this week's episode.
00:00:37.781 --> 00:00:40.750
we're talking about the age-old question does size matter?
00:00:40.750 --> 00:00:53.463
Which, admittedly, might not be the question on your mind, shannon, but it's often discussed by people here to let you know that people of all orientations have to consider the size of things that are interacting with their bodies.
00:00:54.005 --> 00:00:54.286
True.
00:00:54.286 --> 00:01:03.140
True, it's discussed by people who have in play with penises, so not generally a discussion concerned with female parts specifically.
00:01:03.914 --> 00:01:04.180
Understood.
00:01:04.180 --> 00:01:11.114
So two probably points of discussion when it comes to the size-mattering question.
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One, biologically does it matter?
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Sure Like, does it actually affect pleasure in your ability to enjoy and to horizontal?
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And two, the psychological impact, because the question to size matter is probably asked and considered and worried about more than it actually mattering in practice.
00:01:26.927 --> 00:01:30.939
Very true, very true, and that's part of the reason we're doing this Study Session.
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So the answer to both questions is yes, but not in the way you might think.
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Yes, size does matter.
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It does matter.
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Let me grab my popcorn.
00:01:39.712 --> 00:01:39.993
Let's go.
00:01:41.019 --> 00:01:45.531
Well, first of all, biological size can mean length or girth.
00:01:45.531 --> 00:01:51.483
A lot of times people just talk about length and medical research has found on the plus size.
00:01:51.483 --> 00:01:58.965
Penis size does not affect desirability, function or health.
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So in that sense it doesn't matter at all.
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But to some extent length or girth can affect what parts of a female vulva and vaginal canal are stimulated during penetration.
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So it might matter in terms of fit but not matter in terms of measurement.
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Although the orgasm gap.
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A big part of that is that female bodies don't necessarily reach orgasm through penetration anyway, right?
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You are correct, bingo, but some women nevertheless enjoy the feeling of feeling full or feeling connected, regardless of whether or not it leads to an orgasm.
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So often, research tells us that translates to a certain girth, not length, which should be comforting to some.
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But what, yeah, so comforting?
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Well, because I think people with penises, when they get fixated and they get anxious about things like size, they're usually thinking about how long is it compared to others?
00:03:04.752 --> 00:03:11.145
And the research studies that are out there show that female bodies rate penis girth as more important than penis length.
00:03:11.145 --> 00:03:21.770
In fact, some women report experiencing pain when the length of the penis is longer than average, because thrusting can hit the cervix, which can be painful.
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So, in other words, bigger isn't always better in this circumstance.
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Well, also it's not a simple question of does size matter?
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There is more.
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There is more that goes into that.
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Exactly Because all body parts, all body parts come in different sizes and different flexibility, and for some female bodies they can accommodate more than others.
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So it's not about looking at one size fits all literally.
00:03:46.150 --> 00:04:03.471
It's about what, what bodies like, what types of girth, what types of length, but keeping in mind that it doesn't affect function, it doesn't affect health, it doesn't affect satisfaction, it's just a question of preference.
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I think it's also worth pausing.
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And you know, I think a submith here is like well you know, if a giant kind of accommodate anything because they can have a woman push out babies, it's like that's.
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That is true.
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That doesn't mean it's comfortable, it doesn't mean that every size is going to work Well.
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And also, pushing out babies is a process.
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You don't just like wake up and push out a baby.
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You know you're going into labor for a while, your body gets accommodated, your vaginal canal stretches, your cervix stretches all of these things happen during that process and not necessarily all of those things are happening during sexual activity in that in that long, extended way Well and I think when we asked the or when the question is asked of, does size matter, people often think about too small.
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But there's also the flip side of like quote unquote too big.
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And the question here is what, when, when the fixation on size is like too small, too big, you got to keep in mind what what the real, true science says about the averages.
00:05:03.509 --> 00:05:12.139
Yeah, remember when we did the episode last year with Miss Bloom and we talked about?
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We were talking about pornography in the adult film industry, but we were talking also about the exaggerations nationwide of size.
00:05:19.307 --> 00:05:25.043
And what was it Alabama that absolutely insisted they were all niners.
00:05:27.002 --> 00:05:35.009
It's true and that's where this obsession comes from is so much, there's so much porn available and so much which leads to that social comparison.
00:05:35.009 --> 00:05:47.947
But when we talk about the real numbers, the real numbers say the average penis size when not aroused is three and a half inches and when aroused is between Not nine, alabama, no, it's between five and five and a half.
00:05:47.947 --> 00:05:54.012
So you're talking about the outliers are being people who are over, like six, six and a half.
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It's like they say 5%.
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So Alabama, unless you're in the top 5%, well, it would be the one category, alabama's the top 5%.
00:06:04.245 --> 00:06:16.951
But on the other side, for those people with penises who are anxious about it, even for even for is like if you're for, you're really kind of at the end of average anyway.
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Okay, so it's not, it's not like that unusual.
00:06:22.523 --> 00:06:24.149
And we talked about this again.
00:06:24.149 --> 00:06:39.788
We have covered this subject, you know, tangentially in other episodes, but most men think that the average size is six inches, which it isn't, and most women actually believe that the penises that they've interacted with are larger, so that's good news for male listeners.
00:06:39.788 --> 00:06:44.029
Women are very poor judges of size, as it turns out.
00:06:44.069 --> 00:06:53.526
They are, though, interestingly, the research says that men who have sex with men, people with penises, who have sex with people with penises, are actually better judges of actual size.
00:06:53.547 --> 00:06:54.189
Well, of course they are.
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They have a better reference point.
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But for those of you in the heterosexual community, you can know that your women think you're bigger than you are anyway, which is interesting, which is really helpful.
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So why?
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Why, the obsession it's like?
00:07:07.821 --> 00:07:11.571
Let's get to the part two, where there is the psychological impact of it.
00:07:12.180 --> 00:07:13.663
Well, psychologically, we have.
00:07:13.663 --> 00:07:14.185
We have.
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We have porn there's, it's really available.
00:07:16.630 --> 00:07:23.721
We have this idea that is promulgated through media that bigger is better and it's and it does.
00:07:23.721 --> 00:07:26.288
It does permeate both sides.
00:07:26.288 --> 00:07:30.860
You know, female bodies, male bodies, all of it seems to think that bigger is better and it's.
00:07:30.860 --> 00:07:34.728
It's kind of a cultural thing that's really completely misplaced.
00:07:34.728 --> 00:07:47.762
When there was so, there was an interesting research study done where women were asked about looking at actually 3D, like printers of penises to evaluate which ones they liked and which ones they didn't.
00:07:47.762 --> 00:07:51.970
And really the women pointed out like six inches.
00:07:51.970 --> 00:08:05.742
So it wasn't like they were pointing out seven, eight, nine, and most women were just yeah, so most women were still looking at the average as being what they wanted, even though society says I want a big.
00:08:05.742 --> 00:08:07.487
You know BBC, whatever.
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You know those things.
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In reality, the actual preference is leaning towards the average.
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The average is perfectly great and perfectly what's expected.
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There is another study that was looking at appearance and suggests that heterosexual women looking for a one-night stand might prefer a slightly larger, probably just for the cachet.
00:08:33.471 --> 00:08:34.754
Yeah right to be able to be like.
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Well, look what I did last night.
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Pretty much, but in long-term relationships, in long-term relationships, you want something that's more, you know, comfortable and suits your activity over the long-term, so to speak.
00:08:48.570 --> 00:08:56.481
So you know, okay, great Women, volvo-owning people who enjoy interacting with penises are like average, is great, awesome.
00:08:56.481 --> 00:09:05.541
But the truth is, too, that people that own penises have a lot of dissatisfaction with the appearance of their genitals because of that cultural, you know, stigma.
00:09:06.592 --> 00:09:09.059
Well, and that's across female bodies and male bodies.
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The research will show that, you know, a high percentage, like a third of people this one study of 3,500 Swedish men and women, almost a full third had dissatisfaction with their genitalia.
00:09:21.972 --> 00:09:29.394
And that's just a cultural problem that we just we're so constantly comparing ourselves to other people and we don't realize that.
00:09:29.394 --> 00:09:36.399
You know, we're all different, we're all beautiful, it all works just fine, and that's just a cultural thing we have to break around from.
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And unfortunately, what that's led to is many male bodies with penises wanting to have enlargements and surgeries and things like that, rather than simply accepting who they are and realizing that what they got is perfectly fine.
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That's a job done.
00:09:54.730 --> 00:10:06.158
But it really does talk about like stress and diet, depression and that leads to actually not willing to be in relationships and feeling like I'm not good enough, and part of the reason for this study session is to say yes, you are.
00:10:06.158 --> 00:10:07.160
Yes, you are.
00:10:07.490 --> 00:10:11.239
And as a reminder, there are a lot of other ways to get to orgasm than penetration.
00:10:12.590 --> 00:10:16.279
And you know, sometimes if you have less to work with, you have more to work with in terms of creativity.
00:10:16.279 --> 00:10:23.855
But that's once again, it's you're talking about the body that you're having engaging in sexual activity with.
00:10:23.855 --> 00:10:27.698
Have some communication, just figure out what works for you.
00:10:27.698 --> 00:10:31.519
And it's not about, you know, the size.
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The size is just one teeny tiny element well, hopefully not teeny tiny, but one element of one element of the sexual interaction that you're engaged in.
00:10:42.690 --> 00:11:00.702
And so studies that have looked at women and there's actually a fair amount of studies, of course you know, heterosexual women, primarily because a lot of the anxiety is in the syshet world of male bodies but say that only about 50% say it's somewhat important.
00:11:00.702 --> 00:11:02.552
Yeah, now, that's somewhat.
00:11:02.552 --> 00:11:12.895
It's just kind of like meh, it's one of the things I think about A lot of wiggle room in that somewhat, and in a lot of those studies they're only giving the option of very important, somewhat important, not important at all.
00:11:12.895 --> 00:11:19.495
So you have half that say somewhat important, but that means like there's a quarter that say I don't care at all.
00:11:19.495 --> 00:11:21.451
So you think about that.
00:11:21.451 --> 00:11:28.657
That breakdown is like there's a very, you know, like maybe 10, 15% who really care at all.
00:11:29.029 --> 00:11:37.902
And even within that somewhat important or very important it's, they're answering that question based on just sort of in general, is this something that matters?
00:11:37.902 --> 00:11:46.631
But again, once you're with a partner, you're going to figure out different things that you like and don't like and you're going to establish different comfort with each other and you're going to experiment and like.
00:11:46.631 --> 00:11:53.918
All of those things are going to contribute to a healthy, pleasurable sex life and they're not going to revolve around the most basic question of does size?
00:11:53.938 --> 00:11:54.681
matter, right?
00:11:54.681 --> 00:12:07.235
So the basic answer here is size does not matter for physical function, for sexual satisfaction, for being desirable, it absolutely does not matter.
00:12:07.235 --> 00:12:09.777
It does matter if you think it does.
00:12:10.730 --> 00:12:15.469
So I guess it would be fair to say get out of your head, Get, get out of your head.
00:12:16.352 --> 00:12:20.438
That's a good way of putting it, that's a good reminder, you know, but that's it.
00:12:20.438 --> 00:12:22.176
It only matters if you think it matters.
00:12:22.176 --> 00:12:37.457
And so let's just kind of like, take this study session and realize that that what's actually going on in the real world of science and in the real world of relationships, it's not that big of a deal to be that big of a deal.
00:12:38.259 --> 00:12:39.101
Yep, all right.
00:12:39.101 --> 00:12:41.075
Well, that's a wrap on this week's study session.
00:12:41.075 --> 00:12:42.033
Thank you for that.
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As usual, we love hearing what topics you'd like us to cover every week.
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Even the most simple basic subjects.
00:12:48.416 --> 00:12:49.879
We love to tackle them in the study sessions.
00:12:49.879 --> 00:13:00.318
But if you have any ideas for full length episodes and myths you'd like us to debunk whatever you've got, set it over to us at sexeddebunkedgmailcom or on any of the socials at sexeddebunked.
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Take care everyone.
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See you next time.
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Sexed Debunked is produced by Trailblaze Media in Providence, rhode Island, for sound producers Ezra Winters, with production assistance from Shay Weintraub.
