Caring for Aging Parents in Denial: Caregiving Tips for Adult Children and When to Step In

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Welcome to Senior Prime Time, where real people and real conversations come together.
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Hi, I'm Bonnie Keith, Creative Visual Director, Industry Veteran, and your host of Senior Prime Time.
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This podcast is brought to you by the Foundation for Senior Services, and I'm joined today by its co-founder and CEO, Joyce Robertson.
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Senior Prime Time brings you conversations with certified specialists and trusted partners of the Foundation, focused on the topics that matter most to senior families and characterists.
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Today, in episode six, we are talking of Monica Smith, a certified senior advisor and angelic adopter at Gerrit College for a conversation on navigating exchanges, challenges, and key decisions family space with supporting 18 parents.
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But before we begin, we want to extend a special thank you to today's episode sponsor, Joe Chitcock, Senior Mortgage Advisor and Reverse Mortgage Lending Specialist with Lower Mortgage.
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And with that, let's get started.
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Welcome, Monica, Angelica, and Joyce.
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Monica, Angelica, I'd love for you to share maybe in 30 seconds a little bio just so that our listeners and viewers can get a sense of who you are, what your passions are, and why you are here able to discuss this very, very important subject.
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Angelica, let's start with you.
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Yes.
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Well, thank you so much, Bonnie, for having me.
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My background is in deontology.
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So in 2017, I graduated with my master's from USC.
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I studied aging for my graduate degree.
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And really it's my passion to work with the population.
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At that time, we were talking about this growth that we're now starting to see within that population and how that demographic shift is affecting us.
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So to me, it was very interesting on a macro level.
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But right now I work on an individual level with families in non-medical home care.
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And I have been doing that for the past five years.
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Fantastic.
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Thank you.
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And thank you for being here.
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And uh Monica.
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Hi, yes.
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Thanks, Bonnie, again for having us as well.
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I started my career as a nurse many years ago, about 30 years ago.
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And I worked in the hospital environment.
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I worked in the healthcare industry for about 35 years.
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And then a few years ago, I had always managed my parents' care from afar.
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They had some medical challenges.
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And about four years ago, my dad started experiencing falls.
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And so I ended up having to become much more involved in their care.
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And they ended up moving into an assisted living, which was a wonderful experience for our family.
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Our family just grew as they moved into this environment.
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And as a result of that experience, I decided to open my own business and help families who are struggling to care for seniors at home and help them find the best place for them to be in the best environment.
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So I do care management and also provide placement services.
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So I'm so happy to be here talking with everybody today.
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Wonderful.
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And we are happy to have you.
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So with that, what we are talking about today is when that moment comes when an adult child realizes something's changed with usually their parent, but this can happen to any family member.
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So I don't want to really limit it only to parents, but that will be the focus today.
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They may be forgetting their medication, struggling with everyday tasks, becoming isolated, or insisting that everything's fine.
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So how do you know when it's time to step in?
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How do you help without taking over?
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And what happens when your parent literally just refuses help?
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We're going to start with Monica.
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What are the early warning signs that should be obvious, but a lot of times they're not, or families overlook them.
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So what should people be looking for?
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Yeah.
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So, Bonnie, this is really, really challenging for families.
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It's a huge transition.
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Um, and we all go through it.
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Uh, most of us go through it at one point or another.
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And sometimes the signs aren't that subtle.
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Sometimes the family's in denial, oftentimes the senior may be in denial.
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And it's just very, very challenging to have these conversations.
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But I talk to families all the time.
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I, my own personal family, we went through this.
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Things like, you know, my dad was great at going through and paying the bills, but he started having problems paying the bills and needed help and the checkbook wasn't balanced.
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Or maybe someone's mother is immaculate in grooming and appearance, but all of a sudden she's showing up and she's not had a haircut and she's a little bit disheveled.
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That could be something.
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Falls if someone's having some falls, or if you see bruises or something like that, and they're not telling you that they've had falls, or they come to visit and you see little dings on the car or scratches on the car, you know, and you say, Hey, what happened there?
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Some other driver, you know, was it it's someone else's fault.
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So I think just being really aware and noticing the subtle signs and then just kind of letting those add up.
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And then you can have a conversation about it, but the conversation has to be super objective and without emotion and fact-driven.
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So there's lots of things to look out for.
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Anything that's really out of the normal from what you're used to with right.
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So, Angelica, how how do families distinguish between normal aging from a pattern that requires attention?
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Because again, I've had personal experience with this with a spouse, not a parent.
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And people say that that's just because they're getting older.
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But is that always the case?
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Yeah, in my experience, it's not.
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I always empower caregivers, especially family caregivers.
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I let them know they are the expert.
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So, much like Monica said, you're observing something and something is not sitting right with you.
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So you need to advocate and go and share that information.
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Oftentimes, especially with dementia, that's what I let caregivers know.
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You can get so caught up in the day-to-day that subtle changes can be hard to track because you're you're just in it every day.
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So documenting the day, documenting the behaviors, understanding more of what's going on before and after to then present that to the doctor to say, look, this is exactly what's going on.
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Because oftentimes um they may present really well at the appointment, right?
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So it's it's important, like Monica said, to arm ourselves with what do we see objectively?
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What are the things that are concerning us?
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And then open up that conversation and advocating with the providers that are on the team.
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Now, if it's a new diagnosis, you're having to start from scratch, right?
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Um, I encourage families, like I mentioned, to document, to really consult with the primary care physician.
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Hopefully they're having the yearly physical done and they are doing some sort of screening, even if it's very uh basic, on cognitive.
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So utilizing that year over year or asking for another evaluation, a lot of times um I think it's approaching it in an empathetic way.
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Even on the other end, the individual may also have some awareness.
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And we we often see that, and and they don't want to say the truth or they don't want to acknowledge that.
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So I think it's a very difficult part of the journey of aging if there's some cognitive challenges, if you're having to navigate that alone.
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But oftentimes what I let my caregivers know and empower them, they are the experts.
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Yes, the doctor understands medicine, but you understand your loved one.
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You are there every day.
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You can advocate for them and share what you know, but you're living with them.
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What you know, what is their reality?
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And then the provider should be able to help you.
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Now, if they're not helping you, then it's always important to look for other opinions, to join support groups, to ask others who's helping them navigate this time and having that support is very important.
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So I encourage families to to talk to others, to do their research, um, and then to arm themselves to advocate when their day-to-day changes, basically.
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But utilizing a lot of empathy is what I also encourage families and and giving themselves grace.
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I actually was at an assessment yesterday for a couple's care, and it's it's a step parent.
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I walked in, and sometimes somebody wants to share everything about you, and sometimes they don't, and they just want to focus on what the needs are and how I can help them meet their goals.
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And so you have to show up where that individual's at.
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You know, where are they at in that moment?
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How can we make that roadmap?
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And then really good professionals will be able to help the family.
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So that's another thing too.
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If somebody shows up at your door and they are providing a service and you don't feel like they're listening to you, look for another recommendation, do your research as well.
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You also have the right to find the right fit and provider.
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So I encourage families to be open, to ask questions, to really engage in that advocacy.
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That's so true.
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And what you said about be with them where they're at as a family member of someone going through this, that's very difficult.
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So you really do need to have a professional who isn't as invested yet emotionally in that person and has the professional expertise to be able to have their own viewpoint.
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So, what warning signs would you say no longer require let's just keep watching?
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And now's the time.
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Yeah.
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So it's interesting.
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I am a volunteer community educator for the Alzheimer's Association.
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And I do lots of different presentations and talks in the communities about being aware and you know, improving brain health and that sort of thing.
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And everybody is terrified of do I have Alzheimer's?
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And there's some cognitive changes that naturally come along with aging.
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And so oftentimes I'm trying to convince people that no, I think, I think you're okay.
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You know, you're not that simple.
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So uh I had a presentation yesterday at a Denny's with a retirement group, and the lady walked out with me and followed me all the way to my car, and she's like this and this.
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And I said, Look, I said cognitive challenges uh sometimes come along with aging.
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But when you're finding word search, I have problems with word search, you know, you'll see it on the today.
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But word search issues are common.
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But walking into a room and forgetting, why am I in this room?
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That's not unusual.
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And that doesn't mean that you have dementia or Alzheimer's.
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But if you drive to the store and you don't know how to get home, that's a big deal, you know.
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So I think also it's really determining is this something or is this not something?
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And Delica mentioned this.
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If you start having some cognitive decline, which some cognitive decline is it comes along with aging, right?
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It's important to go to your doctor and get a baseline.
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And so once you have a baseline over the years, it's not going to improve probably, but is this getting worse or is this once you have issues that interfere with your daily life, like I said earlier, if you for some reason forget how to start paying your how to pay your bills, if you forget how to get home from the store that you've driven to every, you know, once a week for 15 years, like things like that, um, that should be very common for you.
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If you start having those types of challenges, it's super important to go to the doctor.
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And like Angela said, if you'd gone already and gotten a baseline, you're gonna be able to better determine.
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But there's something called mild cognitive impairment, which isn't dementia.
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It's not Alzheimer's.
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It may be a precursor, but it's not an uncommon diagnosis.
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So anytime you have some of these challenges, go get checked out for PC and put a plan in place.
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That is great, great advice.
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Just like anything else, get your baseline.
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You do it for your cardiologist and you do it for your internist and you get your lab work, get your brain tested, and then you'll have that as a baseline.
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At least go to the doctor, yeah.
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Yes, Angelica.
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Yeah, I would say for us, we look at safety.
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So is that individual safe in their environment?
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And can we maintain that the least restrictive?
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Oftentimes, because it's a progressive disease, families may call us when they they're monitoring from afar.
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Oftentimes I see families use GPS.
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If somebody has dementia and they want to give them independence, they're like, I'm watching them, but they're also watching them quite extensively.
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And it's a lot of oversight being provided, but it's I think it's a delicate balance.
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Oftentimes I see this with younger individuals that are very independent and active.
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Restricting them and putting them in a confined environment is it's not what's appropriate.
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It's not therapeutic.
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So I think families navigate that, you know, delicately with tracking monitors.
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They also utilize the extended community, like the neighbors, and they tell them, hey, my loved one is going through this.
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This is, you know, what we're doing.
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I often also recommend what is your emergency plan?
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Everything has gone as we predicted, right?
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But when there's emergency, what will we do and what does that look like?
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Again, giving families tools to utilize to navigate the journey.
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But I would say we look at safety.
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Are they exiting the home and unable to return?
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Have they driven somewhere and not come back?
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Nobody's heard from them.
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So once that individual is no longer safe in their typical environment, then we're definitely looking at bringing a caregiver in or what are their options to maintain their safety?
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So that's what we look at at the top of the list: their safety, but also the individual's environment.
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And what could we maintain that's least restrictive to promote their independence and help them thrive?
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Are they because they're a concern?
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Or is the family or the system burning out and we need to come and provide respite as well?
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So I think there's a lot of different things that families have on their plate when they're looking at their loved one.
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But we always focus on safety and then we go from any medical needs.
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Like, do they need medication reminders?
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Do they need meal preparation?
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Like, so we come in and look at those other things to ensure um that their overall well-being is met.
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Meds are really important if they start messing up their meds, you know, and they're taking high blood pressure meds or something.
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So that's a really great point.
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Forgetting to turn off the gas, not remembering to turn off the water, not to flush the toilet.
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Like there's so many things that you don't even think about.
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They're so common and easy for people until they are.
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I would say also I noticed in one of my clients um misplacing things like putting the purse in the oven or putting something in the freezer.
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And so we would often check, you know, those areas.
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And so those could be signs as well.
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And ultimately, also I let caregivers know we may not be able to change that.
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You know, that might be their new normal, but we just have to make sure that they're safe and they're not, you know, turning on the oven if they put paper in there.
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So a lot of times it's also um the families kind of understanding, you know, that that's kind of what their loved one is going through.
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And we we may not be able to change that.
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So, Angelica, you missed something.
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I heard the word tools.
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You give them tools to use.
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Can you expand on on that a little bit?
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With uh family caregivers, we we look at how are they navigating that journey?
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So some of the tools might just be resources like call this doctor, connect with the support group, come to this presentation, explore the senior center, but it may be also like encouraging them to do journaling.
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Like I've had one-on-ones with daughters just to say, this is what's going on, these are the next steps.
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And they're still the one managing the care, but I'm just checking in with them.
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So finding your support, everybody's tools or coping skills will be different.
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But there are avenues out there for families to get that support.
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Because I would say, in my experience, uh, most of society doesn't really understand that journey yet.
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They haven't yet, it hasn't yet touched everybody.
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So when you're in a group of individuals that understand what you're going through, you can get much more support.
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And really, we look at what does that individual need?
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You know, what can they do to improve?
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Oftentimes it's a lot of reassurance, letting them know, like you said, Bonnie, like that's normal.
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Like frustration at the situation, totally normal.
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What can we do?
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You know, and and how are you coping with that?
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And who do you talk to?
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And and I also let them know they're doing a great job, genuinely letting them know.
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I think a lot of times, like family caregivers, they might not hear that very often.
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And and it's a it's something that they are doing for their loved one.
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So we reassure them of that.
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So I think just having a team that you can talk to and then identifying, okay, what are what are those tools and how can we support them best?
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But a lot of the tools will be uh resources, conversations, and then we may recommend interventions for their loved one, whether it's like a massage or just looking at the care plan and how can we improve?
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Those are great, great ideas.
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I I know.
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And I did join a support group when it was me against the world and everybody saying, oh no, he's fine, he's fine.
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And I knew he wasn't, but nobody else, it was invaluable because I was with that group through the entire process.
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Monica, do you have any tools uh aside from what Angelica had mentioned?
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Angelica talks about maybe family from afar and having local boots on the ground is super important.
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It's known in the industry that after the holidays, anybody who's in the senior care industry, their business increases.
00:17:02.399 --> 00:17:09.200
That's because family goes home and they see, oh wow, like mom and dad are so much worse than I thought they were.
00:17:09.680 --> 00:17:11.519
And then there are all these plans.
00:17:11.680 --> 00:17:18.799
So I would say the best thing families can do is to start early, have a plan, put a plan in place.
00:17:18.960 --> 00:17:20.160
What does that look like?
00:17:20.319 --> 00:17:35.440
And it could mean if family is afar, it could mean bringing in a care manager who's local and who can work with that family and be the boots on the ground and be that surrogate daughter to come in and see what mom's environment looks like.
00:17:35.599 --> 00:17:41.039
It's so much better to have a plan and make a decision when you're not in crisis mode.
00:17:41.200 --> 00:17:46.000
Often I talk to families and they're like, Oh my gosh, we don't know what to do.
00:17:46.160 --> 00:17:47.359
I live in Texas.
00:17:47.599 --> 00:17:50.400
Mom fell, she's in the hospital, she's home.
00:17:50.480 --> 00:17:51.359
What do we do?
00:17:51.599 --> 00:17:56.559
And so I often work with families and putting that plan in place when there isn't a crisis.
00:17:56.640 --> 00:18:00.160
I say it's much easier to make a decision when you don't have a gun to your head.
00:18:00.319 --> 00:18:03.920
Be very deliberate and figure out what the best solution for them is going to be.
00:18:04.079 --> 00:18:09.119
Like if they're gonna go home, let's make sure that we have home care to come in and take care of them.
00:18:09.359 --> 00:18:17.599
If that's not financially feasible or doesn't make sense, or maybe someone needs more social interaction, well, let's pick out a community.
00:18:17.759 --> 00:18:21.359
And so many families go, oh, I promised my mom I'd never put her in a home.
00:18:21.440 --> 00:18:23.519
I'm like, look, we're not talking about a home here.
00:18:23.680 --> 00:18:24.799
These places are amazing.
00:18:24.960 --> 00:18:27.200
I mean, they've got a golf simulator, you know.
00:18:27.440 --> 00:18:31.039
So these they have happy hour every day, you know.
00:18:31.279 --> 00:18:39.359
Oftentimes it's not best to keep them at home alone, isolated with very few people coming in.
00:18:39.599 --> 00:18:41.519
So it's really having that discussion.
00:18:41.680 --> 00:18:44.880
What would be best if you have a really, really social person?
00:18:45.119 --> 00:18:46.799
What's the best place for that person?
00:18:46.880 --> 00:18:54.319
You know, I would just say start early, put a plan in place as part of the tools, understand what tools are available, and then go with those.
00:18:54.480 --> 00:18:56.160
Caregivers, you talked about caregivers.
00:18:56.480 --> 00:18:58.880
Bonnie, you know how difficult it is to be a caregiver.
00:18:59.039 --> 00:19:05.519
My dad was a caregiver, and it's it is crushing to see what happens to caregivers.
00:19:05.839 --> 00:19:14.640
Oftentimes, caregivers have huge health issues and sometimes they pass before the person they're caring for.
00:19:14.799 --> 00:19:16.160
I see it all the time.
00:19:16.480 --> 00:19:20.160
Mom had a stroke, she's exhausted for taking care of dad.
00:19:20.480 --> 00:19:28.880
And so I think just making sure that you're nurturing the caregivers, and there's so many resources, caregiver support groups and and all of that.
00:19:29.039 --> 00:19:33.680
So making sure that you're taking care of not necessarily just the physical, but the mental.
00:19:33.920 --> 00:19:39.599
The mental is is brutal because it goes from a spouse to a caregiver, and that's a huge transition.
00:19:39.680 --> 00:19:42.559
And and so nurturing them along the way is super important.
00:19:42.880 --> 00:19:53.519
The hardest part for me, and I'm I'm thinking some other people, you see the signs, you know that it's time, but again, the parent or the spouse or whoever is saying, no, I'm fine.
00:19:53.680 --> 00:19:55.599
I I got leave me alone.
00:19:55.920 --> 00:19:58.640
So what do you do?
00:19:58.960 --> 00:19:59.759
Angelica?
00:20:00.079 --> 00:20:05.119
Yeah, I think what Monica mentioned is is important as far as proactive.
00:20:05.359 --> 00:20:11.279
But as we're thinking about our aging loved ones in our lives, how can we start that conversation early?
00:20:11.519 --> 00:20:17.680
Like my recommendation would be if they live at home by themselves, what's their emergency plan in case of a disaster?
00:20:18.000 --> 00:20:34.079
So kind of having that conversation openly, and like Monica said, before the crisis, I encourage all families to do that with their loved ones and just kind of understand what their thought process is before a diagnosis, before aging changes the way that they're gonna live.
00:20:34.240 --> 00:20:39.519
I think families, I encourage them to have that conversation, explore the tools, like know what's out there.
00:20:39.680 --> 00:20:58.480
But if you haven't had that and you're now faced with these changes, you're doing it head on, I think, including potentially the doctor, who's their trusted, who is trusted individual that we can bring in to say, hey, this is what we're observing and we think you need help or we could do this.
00:20:58.640 --> 00:21:16.960
A lot of times, like we discussed earlier, if there's safety concerns, if there's other things that we can sort of put on our priority that we want to address, if they're frequently going to the hospital or if we're noticing, you know, their nutrition or they're losing weight, like those are things that we can present and say, hey, how do you feel about this?
00:21:17.119 --> 00:21:19.599
What are your thoughts around this?
00:21:19.839 --> 00:21:23.599
Now, if um I often always ask, is there a POA?
00:21:23.839 --> 00:21:31.440
Because depending how far along they are, then we can start kind of utilizing that support and saying, okay, we've tried to have the conversation.
00:21:31.680 --> 00:21:47.839
We, you know, have let it go this far, but we're feeling concerns and bringing so bringing in professionals, trusted professionals that either your loved one already knows, like a doctor, could be somebody religious, really anybody in that circle that could help kind of bring that conversation forward.
00:21:47.920 --> 00:21:51.440
Um, but it will really take a team, in my experience.
00:21:51.680 --> 00:21:56.559
And also if sometimes the family members already know, like they don't want a caregiver.
00:21:56.640 --> 00:21:59.200
So they tell us we're gonna come in as an assistant.
00:21:59.440 --> 00:22:04.240
So we We may have to get very creative in how we're gonna present the support to their loved one.
00:22:04.400 --> 00:22:06.960
Not a caregiver, I'm your assistant, I'm here to help you.
00:22:07.119 --> 00:22:08.319
They're not gonna wear scrubs.
00:22:08.400 --> 00:22:10.640
We're not even gonna bring up the word care.
00:22:10.960 --> 00:22:13.039
We're just gonna say they're a personal assistant.
00:22:13.119 --> 00:22:22.319
So oftentimes it's how we package it to the individual, but that really takes understanding what that looks like and then putting a plan in place to be successful.
00:22:22.480 --> 00:22:25.440
So it is a lot of work when there is that.
00:22:25.599 --> 00:22:29.359
But there's a way to overcome that with different sorts of strategies.
00:22:29.440 --> 00:22:32.319
Like I mentioned, could could I bring in a personal assistant?
00:22:32.480 --> 00:22:34.000
Could we bring in a care manager?
00:22:34.160 --> 00:22:41.599
I actually work with a client like that that had early stages, but she wouldn't work with the caregiver, but she would work with me as her care manager.
00:22:41.680 --> 00:22:51.680
So I would take her to her appointments, I would drop her off, I would do what I could to keep her at home and report back to her daughter who was in Colorado and would come visit her.
00:22:51.839 --> 00:22:56.640
I usually encourage families to start small and then we can always taper up.
00:22:56.799 --> 00:23:03.519
So it's it's really just kind of putting the pieces together, but there is no one size fits all on how to overcome that.
00:23:03.680 --> 00:23:06.960
It's looking at it and then coming up with a plan with professionals.
00:23:07.359 --> 00:23:09.839
Monica, do you have anything you want to uh add to that?
00:23:10.079 --> 00:23:13.920
Yeah, I often get calls from families when they're just trying to figure out what to do.
00:23:14.079 --> 00:23:15.599
Let's let's put a plan in place.
00:23:15.759 --> 00:23:18.319
Again, maybe they're in crisis mode, maybe they're planning ahead.
00:23:18.480 --> 00:23:25.599
And oftentimes you can say, you know what, home care, it makes sense to bring in someone from a home care agency to help out.
00:23:25.759 --> 00:23:36.960
And oftentimes when I'm talking with the families, if there's a way that you can really highlight that, look, our goal is to ensure that you are safe.
00:23:37.519 --> 00:23:40.720
Our goal is to ensure that mom is safe.
00:23:41.039 --> 00:23:46.319
Mom's health is declining because of everything that she needs to do.
00:23:46.480 --> 00:24:05.839
So I think a lot of times, if you can help that person realize the effect on all of the other people that they love, and if that's affecting them negatively, that sometimes helps them realize because most people don't want to be a burden.
00:24:05.920 --> 00:24:15.200
And I'm not saying that they are a burden, but if mom's on the brink of having a stroke due to taking care of dad, dad probably would care about that, you know?
00:24:15.440 --> 00:24:25.279
Um, or if like with with my parents, and I I always bring up my personal experiences because it was, it was it was like this, you know, I don't want anybody in our house.
00:24:25.359 --> 00:24:26.720
But we're like, oh, you know what?
00:24:27.039 --> 00:24:29.680
They can do some meal prep or they can tidy up.
00:24:29.839 --> 00:24:31.279
Mom, I know you don't like to cook.
00:24:31.440 --> 00:24:33.279
So, you know, they can make some meals.
00:24:33.519 --> 00:24:36.480
And the first time it's like, oh, okay, well, they weren't that bad.
00:24:36.640 --> 00:24:38.160
I'm like, well, yeah, they're not bad.
00:24:38.240 --> 00:24:40.079
They're only there to help.
00:24:40.240 --> 00:24:47.039
And then if it gets to a point where they need to move, which it was with my parents, my dad would fall at two o'clock in the morning.
00:24:47.200 --> 00:24:48.559
And my mom couldn't pick him up.
00:24:48.640 --> 00:24:52.160
And so my brother would have to go over at two o'clock in the morning.
00:24:52.400 --> 00:24:59.039
And so my brothers and I were like, look, this isn't fair to Mark, my brother, who has to come over at two o'clock in the morning.
00:24:59.200 --> 00:25:06.000
You need to be in a place that if you fall, and I tell people, it's not like people stop falling if they move into assisted living.
00:25:06.319 --> 00:25:07.680
That's not how it works.
00:25:08.000 --> 00:25:14.960
But if they fall, there's somebody who can come right in and help them and help them go to the hospital if they need to, or something like that.
00:25:15.039 --> 00:25:22.319
So if you can preface it or frame it that it's all about keeping you safe and all of your loved ones around you safe.
00:25:22.559 --> 00:25:23.759
Nobody wants to be a burden.
00:25:23.839 --> 00:25:25.839
So let's pick figure out the best environment.
00:25:26.000 --> 00:25:31.039
So for my parents, I said, look, you are not going to this assisted living to wither up and die.
00:25:31.519 --> 00:25:35.680
You're going there to live because you are a prisoner to this house.
00:25:36.000 --> 00:25:37.759
You've got three steps at the front.
00:25:37.839 --> 00:25:40.160
You can't leave the house due to three steps.
00:25:40.480 --> 00:25:43.599
So you were a prisoner, you know, and your life isn't over.
00:25:43.759 --> 00:25:49.680
So go and experience more of life and look at it as a gift because you can do this.
00:25:49.759 --> 00:25:56.640
And so it's all about trying to frame the conversation that really is meaningful for that person.
00:25:56.799 --> 00:25:58.240
And it's it's always different.
00:25:58.559 --> 00:26:03.279
What are some creative ways when you know those keys have to be taken away?
00:26:03.599 --> 00:26:06.960
We had that experience, and it was a struggle.
00:26:07.119 --> 00:26:10.640
Uh it took figuring out how do you talk with them.
00:26:10.799 --> 00:26:16.160
Dad, you can't have the keys anymore, but that's his life, that's his freedom.
00:26:16.319 --> 00:26:20.799
So, what are some tools for how you approach just a simple situation?
00:26:20.880 --> 00:26:22.400
Like we've got to get the keys away.
00:26:22.480 --> 00:26:23.839
The driving has to stop.
00:26:24.000 --> 00:26:24.559
What do you do?
00:26:24.799 --> 00:26:27.759
Okay, Joyce, you just said that was a simple situation.
00:26:27.920 --> 00:26:30.559
That is the furthest thing from a simple situation.
00:26:30.720 --> 00:26:34.720
That is one of the biggest challenges of adult children.
00:26:34.880 --> 00:26:37.039
It feels like all of this role reversal.
00:26:37.200 --> 00:26:40.880
I used to do a lot with driving and helping families.
00:26:41.440 --> 00:26:46.640
But the best thing you could do, and Angelica mentioned this earlier, it takes a village.
00:26:47.200 --> 00:27:00.880
You bring in everybody, you bring in the doctor, you bring in the kids, you bring in the neighbors, you bring in everything, but you make it very objective and fact-driven, and you remove all emotion.
00:27:01.039 --> 00:27:03.440
You don't say, Oh my gosh, mom, you're a horrible driver.
00:27:03.519 --> 00:27:04.640
I can't drive with you anymore.
00:27:04.720 --> 00:27:06.079
You don't need to be driving.
00:27:06.319 --> 00:27:08.960
And a lot of people call me and they're like, oh, you know what?
00:27:09.119 --> 00:27:10.240
My dad's 85.
00:27:10.400 --> 00:27:11.200
He shouldn't be driving.
00:27:11.279 --> 00:27:13.920
And I'm like, but does he have any physical limitations?
00:27:14.160 --> 00:27:14.960
Has he fallen?
00:27:15.200 --> 00:27:16.240
Do you see any dings?
00:27:16.480 --> 00:27:17.599
No, he's just 85.
00:27:17.759 --> 00:27:22.480
I'm like, look, age does not dictate whether or not someone should be able to drive or not.
00:27:22.640 --> 00:27:26.400
If you have a fall within six months, that is indicative.
00:27:26.559 --> 00:27:31.039
There is a study that shows that could lead to accidents, car accidents.
00:27:31.200 --> 00:27:33.839
So it's just like being aware of range of motion.
00:27:33.920 --> 00:27:39.680
But Joyce, like you're saying, if if you go and you say, look, dad, I'm a little bit concerned.
00:27:40.319 --> 00:27:44.000
There are multiple scratches on your usually immaculate car.
00:27:44.480 --> 00:27:46.880
The mailbox has been run over.
00:27:47.200 --> 00:27:50.880
There's a fact, I was driving with you yesterday.
00:27:51.119 --> 00:27:58.400
We made that left-hand turn at the intersection and I was alarmed because there were cars coming.
00:27:58.640 --> 00:28:02.799
Have you considered potentially looking at alternatives?
00:28:03.039 --> 00:28:09.119
And I think what's really important about that conversation, Joyce, is having those alternatives available.
00:28:09.279 --> 00:28:14.640
So for example, I think it's$9,500 a year to maintain a car.
00:28:14.720 --> 00:28:16.559
That's car insurance, gas, and things.
00:28:16.720 --> 00:28:18.319
That's a lot of Uber rides.
00:28:18.799 --> 00:28:20.240
That's a lot of Lyft rides.
00:28:20.319 --> 00:28:22.319
They have Uber for seniors now.
00:28:22.480 --> 00:28:24.480
They have all kinds of options.
00:28:24.559 --> 00:28:28.240
So if you're going to have this discussion, have alternatives.
00:28:28.559 --> 00:28:31.519
Your friend Bonnie, she goes to Mahjong every Tuesday.
00:28:31.680 --> 00:28:32.880
Can't you ride with her?
00:28:33.200 --> 00:28:37.359
Going with a suggestion what alternatives could be.
00:28:37.519 --> 00:28:39.599
And then also information.
00:28:39.839 --> 00:28:44.880
There are articles that show family who had left their kids' house.
00:28:45.039 --> 00:28:49.359
The kids had their GPS, had the locator, but their phone died.
00:28:49.599 --> 00:28:58.160
They got lost driving home from their kids' house, ended up in this farm in Indiana, and froze to death because they couldn't find their way home.
00:28:58.400 --> 00:29:08.960
It's worth having that conversation, even though that conversation is incredibly difficult and one of the most polarizing conversations you may have outside of like an assisted living.
00:29:09.039 --> 00:29:10.400
But they go hand in hand.
00:29:10.559 --> 00:29:13.200
Driving is such a personal thing.
00:29:13.359 --> 00:29:16.240
When I start conversations, I say, remember your first car?
00:29:16.480 --> 00:29:18.400
Everybody has a visceral reaction.
00:29:18.559 --> 00:29:20.720
Oh yes, I named her Betty, you know?
00:29:20.960 --> 00:29:24.640
So it's a very personal thing and meaningful.
00:29:24.880 --> 00:29:27.839
But have the conversation and go with alternatives.
00:29:28.079 --> 00:29:28.319
Wow.
00:29:28.799 --> 00:29:30.720
Angelica, anything to add to that?
00:29:30.960 --> 00:29:43.359
Um, yeah, when you can't have the conversation because the person lacks the insight or just cannot comprehend what, you know, that approach, you know, sometimes we say, like, unplug the battery because hey, you can have the keys.
00:29:43.440 --> 00:29:45.680
You can have the keys, the car doesn't drive, right?
00:29:45.759 --> 00:29:49.680
And so kind of removing friction if possible.
00:29:50.000 --> 00:29:54.960
If the car needs to be worked on, could it be sent away and not come back?
00:29:55.119 --> 00:29:56.640
Uh, could it be moved?
00:29:56.799 --> 00:30:01.759
Uh so we kind of start looking at where is that individual and what do they understand?
00:30:01.920 --> 00:30:06.079
I recently was meeting with a doctor and he said he will send the letter to the DMV.
00:30:06.160 --> 00:30:10.559
So ultimately, you know, there's a very uh exact way to get it done.
00:30:10.799 --> 00:30:18.640
But I think looking at it from where's that individual at and and how can we address this in the least confrontational way if we have to?
00:30:18.799 --> 00:30:29.279
Like I once was at an assessment and the family was gonna go on a trip and the dad was gonna stay home and he had some cognitive changes, and they were like, How will he get the newspaper every day?
00:30:29.359 --> 00:30:32.880
And I was like, Well, can you leave a stack of the old ones?
00:30:33.119 --> 00:30:35.119
Like he won't even know, right?
00:30:35.279 --> 00:30:42.720
And so you eliminate sort of that and you just still offer, like Monica said, what is gonna what do they need?
00:30:42.799 --> 00:30:45.039
Because underlying all that, there's a need.
00:30:45.119 --> 00:30:48.400
All of us have needs, even when our cognitive changes.
00:30:48.559 --> 00:30:53.920
So meeting that need on a creative way, I think, is is oftentimes what we also uh recommend families to do.
00:30:54.319 --> 00:30:59.920
Delica, what she said too, that's really excellent for clients that have dementia or Alzheimer's.
00:31:00.079 --> 00:31:04.400
There are a lot of little the battery and all that, those are those are great tools.
00:31:04.720 --> 00:31:16.400
For people who don't have that and still have some challenges, the conversation, if they're not willing to give up their keys, because it's going to create all kinds of issues if the kids like, we're like, I'm just taking them.
00:31:16.559 --> 00:31:20.319
Maybe say, okay, at what point will you give up your keys?
00:31:20.480 --> 00:31:22.960
You almost like draw a line in the sand, okay.
00:31:23.039 --> 00:31:27.599
At what point are you willing to look at alternatives?
00:31:27.839 --> 00:31:33.119
Because it's not just about you getting hurt, but it's about anybody else.
00:31:33.359 --> 00:31:41.119
You could hit a kid who's running after a ball because you know, your instincts aren't as quick or your motor skills aren't as quick.
00:31:41.279 --> 00:31:47.680
So it's not about you and your independence, but it's also about keeping everyone else safe.
00:31:48.000 --> 00:31:50.079
You wouldn't drive drunk down the road.
00:31:50.240 --> 00:31:51.839
So you have some challenges.
00:31:52.000 --> 00:31:56.640
So it's it's almost like making sure that people understand what could happen.
00:31:56.799 --> 00:32:00.240
And there's lots of different stories about what has happened.
00:32:00.319 --> 00:32:05.440
So it's really amazing what we're talking about and and how we're having to kind of play these little tricks.
00:32:05.599 --> 00:32:13.519
So we've got all this stuff going on, and we know that there's a problem, and we've got plans in place, but then we have siblings.
00:32:13.680 --> 00:32:19.920
What happens when siblings or other family members disagree about whether help is needed or not?
00:32:20.079 --> 00:32:21.920
Take it away, Angelica.
00:32:22.480 --> 00:32:24.640
Yeah, I would say family dynamics.
00:32:24.720 --> 00:32:27.519
Um, they present themselves in aging, good and bad.
00:32:27.680 --> 00:32:31.039
Oftentimes our C is to be the objective person.
00:32:31.200 --> 00:32:35.200
So we try to focus on our client who is the adult.
00:32:35.359 --> 00:32:39.359
And then with the family members, we may try different approaches with each of them.
00:32:39.440 --> 00:32:44.799
So if you know, siblings don't talk amongst each other, we will be the mediator, we'll be the in-between.
00:32:44.960 --> 00:32:49.039
We will work with the family to come up with a cohesive plan.
00:32:49.200 --> 00:32:52.240
And then we will dictate, okay, do we need to check in every week?
00:32:52.400 --> 00:32:56.400
Some family members need constant communication, some just want email.
00:32:56.559 --> 00:32:58.640
So we ask them what their preferences are.
00:32:58.880 --> 00:33:01.680
We really start gathering the information of the team.
00:33:01.759 --> 00:33:04.880
And then if we need to make any professional recommendations, we do.
00:33:04.960 --> 00:33:11.200
So we try to work within that dynamic as best as we can to motivate everybody towards the same goal of the individual.
00:33:11.359 --> 00:33:14.880
And if there's siblings that don't want to talk to each other, we can communicate with them.
00:33:15.039 --> 00:33:24.799
We often also ask the individual who we are allowed to share information with because there is HIPAA, and depending on if the client is their own decision maker, we have to respect that.
00:33:24.960 --> 00:33:34.000
So even with family dynamics, we do have to look at the HIPAA protection and then who is the decision maker if it's not um the individual.
00:33:34.160 --> 00:33:44.720
If the oldest daughter is, she has she's been deemed the decision maker, we will, you know, work with her more closely, but we still work with the rest of the family and try to come up with a plan.
00:33:45.119 --> 00:33:47.599
But it doesn't always uh work out accordingly.
00:33:47.759 --> 00:33:54.400
So we we really try to help the family understand that if they can communicate more effectively, that will benefit their loved one.
00:33:54.559 --> 00:33:58.000
If in this situation, in this setting, we can just, you know, have these rules.
00:33:58.079 --> 00:34:04.319
So set up ground rules, set up what the expectations are very early on of the communication from the care team.
00:34:04.400 --> 00:34:05.920
I think that helps family members.
00:34:06.079 --> 00:34:08.800
A lot of them may have their, you know, own insight.
00:34:08.960 --> 00:34:14.639
And so then we just have that conversation, what we can and cannot do and try to include everybody as best as possible.
00:34:14.800 --> 00:34:21.360
But we have also had instances where we come in and there's very there's a list of people who cannot visit.
00:34:21.519 --> 00:34:24.800
So we we hold up whatever those boundaries are that the client has.
00:34:25.039 --> 00:34:25.199
Great.
00:34:25.519 --> 00:34:27.360
Monica, anything to add to that one?
00:34:27.840 --> 00:34:33.280
Yeah, this is a really tough one because family dynamics obviously vary.
00:34:33.599 --> 00:34:44.159
And I think it's very helpful to bring in a third-party objective if it's really, really challenging, if people just can't agree.
00:34:44.239 --> 00:34:47.599
Um, bring in somebody who doesn't have a horse in the race.
00:34:47.840 --> 00:34:50.239
A lot of the time can be spent too on education.
00:34:50.480 --> 00:34:56.480
There people think they know a lot more than what reality dictates.
00:34:56.639 --> 00:35:07.280
In some of these situations, you know, I may be working with a family and they're like, parents need assisted living, but my brother absolutely thinks dad needs to move into memory care.
00:35:07.360 --> 00:35:09.519
And I'm like, I know your dad.
00:35:09.599 --> 00:35:12.480
I've met him, and this is what memory care is.
00:35:12.639 --> 00:35:20.320
It's so it's educating a lot along the way, being very objective, bringing in a third party.
00:35:20.480 --> 00:35:22.000
And I see this all the time.
00:35:22.239 --> 00:35:28.400
A lot of times people forget about the seniors themselves, and they come in and they just take over.
00:35:28.559 --> 00:35:31.679
And I can see like that's not what they want at all.
00:35:32.000 --> 00:35:34.480
I don't care if you're a power of attorney.
00:35:34.639 --> 00:35:40.159
This person's completely capable and has capacity, include what they want in the mix.
00:35:40.400 --> 00:35:44.639
And so that creates so much strife in the family.
00:35:44.800 --> 00:35:50.320
It's almost like, do you remember when you were a teenager and your parents are like, no, you are not doing this?
00:35:50.559 --> 00:35:51.760
How you felt about that?
00:35:51.920 --> 00:36:02.000
Now imagine having that conversation as a grown adult being on this earth for 85 years, all of a sudden, you can't make your own decisions.
00:36:02.239 --> 00:36:12.960
So it's very important to also keep reminding the family to include the senior in the conversations and the decisions along the way.
00:36:13.760 --> 00:36:23.920
So, with that, when do you get to the point of realizing that that senior is no longer capable of making good decisions on their own behalf?
00:36:24.159 --> 00:36:24.400
Yeah.
00:36:24.559 --> 00:36:29.039
I have been brought into cases like that where there is no diagnosis.
00:36:29.199 --> 00:36:30.400
An individual lives on their own.
00:36:30.480 --> 00:36:35.920
It was actually the sister who called me and she was up north, and he's down here in Southern California.
00:36:36.159 --> 00:36:42.079
Um, and she wanted him to connect with resources because he wasn't working and just kind of establish a life.
00:36:42.239 --> 00:36:45.679
He was living on a property and there wasn't running water.
00:36:45.760 --> 00:36:47.519
And so she was concerned about his well-being, right?
00:36:47.679 --> 00:36:48.400
Older sister.
00:36:48.559 --> 00:36:50.159
So I came out and I met with him.
00:36:50.320 --> 00:36:52.239
He was open because he was needing wound care.
00:36:52.400 --> 00:36:54.159
He's like, Yes, get my wound care set up.
00:36:54.320 --> 00:36:56.639
He was a driver, he wanted to go back to work.
00:36:56.800 --> 00:36:59.119
Um, he was still making decisions for himself.
00:36:59.440 --> 00:37:04.239
Ultimately, I came to find out that he was a victim of a romance scam.
00:37:04.400 --> 00:37:08.480
So he would go online and he was sending Apple cards and all these things.
00:37:08.559 --> 00:37:13.119
And he thought Goldie Hahn was gonna come and pick him up and send him all this money.
00:37:13.280 --> 00:37:15.039
And he truly believed this.
00:37:15.519 --> 00:37:16.880
And I try to talk to him about it.
00:37:16.960 --> 00:37:23.440
I try to have him uh get off of social media, explain that, you know, every because every single time, you know, he would be let down, right?
00:37:23.599 --> 00:37:24.480
This is the scam, right?
00:37:24.559 --> 00:37:25.519
Oh, they're gonna come see me.
00:37:25.920 --> 00:37:28.400
And he believed it because they were offering him money.
00:37:28.480 --> 00:37:32.159
And he's like, if I give them this much, I'll get this much because they're celebrity.
00:37:32.320 --> 00:37:35.599
So he he was really had a lot of buy-in, unfortunately.
00:37:35.679 --> 00:37:38.159
So what I tried to do was have a discussion with him.
00:37:38.320 --> 00:37:39.840
He continued the behavior.
00:37:40.079 --> 00:37:42.960
I did have to call Adult Protective Services.
00:37:43.119 --> 00:37:48.079
However, he is an adult and he can make these decisions about his money.
00:37:48.159 --> 00:37:50.079
He can have poor judgment.
00:37:50.320 --> 00:37:53.519
And so I don't think that APS really went anywhere.
00:37:53.679 --> 00:37:57.119
I think they did call him and they assess and they said, okay, he's an adult.
00:37:57.280 --> 00:38:01.840
Because ultimately, APS isn't just going to pull an adult out of their life.
00:38:02.000 --> 00:38:03.280
That's that's not what they do.
00:38:03.440 --> 00:38:08.079
So, in in that instance, you know, it was really, we did everything we could, right?
00:38:08.480 --> 00:38:11.119
The family tried to support him, we had the conversation.
00:38:11.360 --> 00:38:16.320
So at times, you know, individuals do fall into these vulnerable moments.
00:38:16.559 --> 00:38:24.320
And because there isn't a decision maker, a potential was conservatorship, but the sister was already caring for another brother who had a special need.
00:38:24.480 --> 00:38:25.760
So she had two brothers.
00:38:25.920 --> 00:38:28.480
So she had a lot on her plate and she could not.
00:38:28.719 --> 00:38:35.760
So if there is a family member, oftentimes we're looking at do they already have documentation in place to advocate for their loved one?
00:38:35.920 --> 00:38:38.079
And then if not, usually it's the spouse.
00:38:38.239 --> 00:38:52.400
It's kind of de facto because if that person hasn't done the documents and they already have enough of a cognitive impairment that it's no longer appropriate for them to do that, then the family has to step in that way and you know, whoever that primary caregiver is.
00:38:52.480 --> 00:39:03.039
So in my experience, we try to help the individual, but if there's no sort of, you know, actual authority to make decisions on somebody's behalf, it's very difficult.
00:39:03.360 --> 00:39:03.599
Yes.
00:39:03.760 --> 00:39:05.039
Monica, anything to add on that?
00:39:05.280 --> 00:39:11.199
Yeah, one thing I'll add to that, and we've mentioned it a couple of times today, is be prepared and have a plan in place.
00:39:11.440 --> 00:39:15.599
If someone has a dementia or Alzheimer's, it's a progressive disease.
00:39:15.760 --> 00:39:21.599
People need to understand that early on and realize that it's not going to get better, it's only going to get worse.
00:39:21.840 --> 00:39:29.760
So at the beginning is when someone is completely capable, has capacitive capacity, have those conversations.
00:39:29.920 --> 00:39:32.239
Like, what do you want going forward?
00:39:32.480 --> 00:39:37.840
Give them the option of having what they want when they're capable of making the decision of what they want.
00:39:38.159 --> 00:39:47.360
Because if it gets to the point where they have been declared incapacitated, which is a nightmare, there's conservatorship and all, it's a nightmare situation.
00:39:47.760 --> 00:39:50.400
So you can prevent that and do it.
00:39:50.800 --> 00:39:55.119
Have your plan, have the discussions when someone's capable of having those discussions.
00:39:55.280 --> 00:39:58.400
And then that way you know what exactly what they want.
00:39:58.639 --> 00:40:00.719
So I think with everything, have a plan.
00:40:01.440 --> 00:40:02.480
Always have a plan.
00:40:02.639 --> 00:40:12.960
So for the adult child or spouse who feels frightened, guilty, completely overwhelmed, like I was, what do you want them to hear from you today?
00:40:13.760 --> 00:40:20.320
This is such a challenging time in your life, if not one of the most challenging times in your life.
00:40:20.480 --> 00:40:26.400
The sandwich generation trying to raise your kids and keep your parents safe.
00:40:26.719 --> 00:40:32.239
You're constantly pulled and you're constantly struggling, but you are absolutely not alone.
00:40:32.400 --> 00:40:35.440
There's so many people out there going through the same thing.
00:40:35.679 --> 00:40:40.880
There are support groups available for people, and there are resources.
00:40:41.039 --> 00:40:42.559
You just may not know about them.
00:40:42.639 --> 00:40:48.800
So reach out to someone like me or Angelica or Bonnie or Joyce and we can point you.
00:40:49.039 --> 00:40:54.320
Yeah, my goal is anybody who calls me, my goal is to help them in some way.
00:40:54.480 --> 00:41:00.719
I may not be able to help them personally, but I can say, you know what, you need to call Angelica, you need to call Bonnie, here's their number.
00:41:00.960 --> 00:41:06.159
So there are people out there who are who want to and are willing to help.
00:41:06.320 --> 00:41:12.159
So ask for help because there are lots of resources because it's such it's such a challenging time.
00:41:12.320 --> 00:41:13.519
It's such a challenging time.
00:41:13.599 --> 00:41:16.639
I was trying to take care of my parents who've lived in West Virginia.
00:41:16.800 --> 00:41:18.000
I'm in California.
00:41:18.159 --> 00:41:22.000
I had, you know, kids in school, and it's so tough.
00:41:22.320 --> 00:41:23.920
But there are resources out to help.
00:41:24.159 --> 00:41:28.000
Angelica, and then we'll have Joyce with the Foundation for Senior Services.
00:41:28.239 --> 00:41:30.239
Yes, like Monica mentioned, reach out.
00:41:30.320 --> 00:41:36.639
If you have a question, if you have a need, as a professional, we are here to answer and provide our recommendations.
00:41:37.199 --> 00:41:39.599
Then you can take and build on and work on.
00:41:39.760 --> 00:41:45.760
So if you're planning and you don't even know where to start, reach out to somebody that you can just ask a few questions.
00:41:45.920 --> 00:41:48.880
I think the sooner that you reach out for help, the better.
00:41:49.039 --> 00:41:57.679
We often, even in our professional setting, remind everybody just like in the airplane, you have to put on your mask first before you go help someone out.
00:41:57.840 --> 00:42:03.280
So really, we know the realities of caregiving and we have to equip ourselves to face those.
00:42:03.360 --> 00:42:05.920
Um, but really getting a team, asking questions.
00:42:06.079 --> 00:42:10.559
There's a lot of, I think, vulnerability in being a caregiver yourself, right?
00:42:10.639 --> 00:42:12.320
Because you're navigating all these things.
00:42:12.480 --> 00:42:15.920
So I also want to say give yourself a lot of grace.
00:42:16.079 --> 00:42:17.760
And you're more resilient than you think.
00:42:17.920 --> 00:42:25.119
I I have a front seat and seeing families navigate the aging journey, just giving the caregivers that feedback is really helpful to them.
00:42:25.199 --> 00:42:26.960
And I think they really value that.
00:42:27.199 --> 00:42:30.000
Joyce, the Foundation for Senior Services.
00:42:30.320 --> 00:42:42.000
Well, I'm just so honored that we have Angelica and Monica representing the kind of expertise that our foundation can bring to the community at every level of specialty and senior need.
00:42:42.159 --> 00:42:50.480
And it's just uh so empowering to listen to the fact that we do have a village with our specialists with so many support people out there.
00:42:50.639 --> 00:42:58.320
It does take a village, and we can't forget our caregivers because our caregivers need support, just as our seniors need that support.
00:42:58.480 --> 00:43:01.360
And I know, I think, Angela, you mentioned respite care.
00:43:01.599 --> 00:43:08.159
Don't forget about that respite care and taking a break, and most importantly, give yourself grace.
00:43:08.320 --> 00:43:11.840
You're doing a great job, and together we can get through that.
00:43:11.920 --> 00:43:16.480
And the journey of aging can be as pleasant as we can possibly make it.
00:43:16.639 --> 00:43:20.239
I remember my dad would always say, getting older is not for sissies.
00:43:20.559 --> 00:43:23.599
And we begin to learn that as we all age.
00:43:23.840 --> 00:43:25.920
So, in closing, thank you, Joyce.
00:43:26.079 --> 00:43:30.320
And yes, everybody, reach out to the foundation, uh, their wonderful organization.
00:43:30.559 --> 00:43:35.280
Any last words that any one of you just want to share with our listeners?
00:43:35.440 --> 00:43:35.920
Monica?
00:43:36.159 --> 00:43:40.159
First off, thank you so much for inviting me to participate today.
00:43:40.320 --> 00:43:41.599
This was a great experience.
00:43:41.840 --> 00:43:45.199
I hope it's really valuable to families out there.
00:43:45.360 --> 00:43:48.800
I hope now they realize that they're not alone.
00:43:49.039 --> 00:43:54.719
There are people, there are resources that care about their well-being and their loved ones' well-being.
00:43:54.880 --> 00:44:00.159
And so the foundation is a wonderful first stop for people who are looking for help and support.
00:44:00.320 --> 00:44:02.400
So thanks, Bonnie Angeles.
00:44:02.719 --> 00:44:05.360
Thank you, Monica, for being here and Angelica as well.
00:44:05.519 --> 00:44:13.280
Angelica, any any uh Yeah, my last words would be that in the home home care or senior industry, we are 24-7.
00:44:13.760 --> 00:44:24.480
So please, if something happens on the weekend, it happens at night, we have people that are here answering the phones because we know that things don't happen between the hours at 8 to 5, Monday through Friday.
00:44:24.639 --> 00:44:27.519
So again, if families need support, reach out.
00:44:27.760 --> 00:44:30.320
The services are there, the resources are there.
00:44:30.480 --> 00:44:42.159
There's also a lot of books on Amazon, really great books that you can for your individual caregiving journey that offer you toolbooks on how to care for somebody, on how to create your home care plan.
00:44:42.320 --> 00:44:47.360
So there's a lot of things that you as a family caregiver can also look into and equip yourself online.
00:44:47.760 --> 00:44:48.320
Fantastic.
00:44:48.559 --> 00:44:50.639
And Joyce, any last words from you?
00:44:50.960 --> 00:44:52.559
Well, I think we've heard them all.
00:44:52.719 --> 00:44:58.880
Just uh in there, guys, and we're all there to support you, like uh Angelica just said, 24-7.
00:44:59.199 --> 00:45:01.039
Pick up the phone and reach out.
00:45:01.360 --> 00:45:04.239
Well, thank you, Monica and uh Angelica.
00:45:04.480 --> 00:45:11.440
It's been a pleasure having your guidance and expertise today and having this fabulous conversation.
00:45:11.599 --> 00:45:19.679
And for our viewers and listeners, thank you for being part of this conversation on Senior Primetime, and we'll see you next time.
00:45:24.880 --> 00:45:28.719
Thank you so much for being part of this important conversation.
00:45:28.960 --> 00:45:32.719
We hope today's discussion was meaningful and helpful to you.
00:45:33.119 --> 00:45:40.559
Special thank you once again to our guests, Monica Smith, and Angelica Lopez sharing their guidance and expertise.
00:45:41.039 --> 00:45:45.840
All of their contact information is available in the episode description and show notes.
00:45:46.239 --> 00:45:52.079
Also, thank you to Joe at Cost at Lower Mortgage for sponsoring this episode of Senior Primetime.
00:45:52.320 --> 00:45:58.800
Joe helps homeowners and retirees use their home equity, benefit their financial security and for.
00:46:00.320 --> 00:46:03.039
You'll also find Joe's contact below.
00:46:03.519 --> 00:46:07.280
Senior Primetime is brought to you by the Foundation Twitch Service.
00:46:07.599 --> 00:46:12.239
I'm Bonnie, along with Joe Troperts, and thank you for the time.
00:46:12.719 --> 00:46:15.920
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00:46:16.079 --> 00:46:20.159
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00:46:20.559 --> 00:46:28.800
Remember, these years can be your true prime time when you have the right information, support, and confidence to plan ahead.
00:46:29.039 --> 00:46:36.559
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