WEBVTT
00:00:26.750 --> 00:00:28.990
All right, and welcome back to the Second Mile Leadership Podcast.
00:00:29.070 --> 00:00:31.150
We are your hosts, Jason and Isaiah.
00:00:31.310 --> 00:00:35.390
And this is episode three of the influence series.
00:00:35.550 --> 00:00:40.829
And going back just slightly in the previous episodes, please go back and listen to those if you have not already.
00:00:40.990 --> 00:00:44.590
But in those episodes, we discussed the importance of building relationships.
00:00:44.750 --> 00:00:46.670
I introduced like a three-legged stool for influence.
00:00:46.750 --> 00:00:54.990
And the first two legs were building relationships, trust, having a servant heart, you know, showing care, actually having genuine love and care for your team.
00:00:55.070 --> 00:01:01.550
We talked about investing in them, helping them reach their goals, making sure your mission and your vision attach to their goals as well.
00:01:01.630 --> 00:01:03.710
So they're accomplishing what they want to accomplish.
00:01:03.870 --> 00:01:07.469
And these are the beginning makings of having influence, right?
00:01:07.629 --> 00:01:11.390
So, you know, you're not making leadership and influence all about you.
00:01:11.550 --> 00:01:13.469
You're making it about everyone around you.
00:01:13.629 --> 00:01:24.030
But there's a third leg of the stool we need to discuss today because, you know, it I can build a great relationship with you, I can have trust with you, I can show care for you, I can invest in you, I can try to grow you.
00:01:24.189 --> 00:01:29.390
But if I don't have this one other thing, we're going to be in trouble when it comes to influence.
00:01:29.469 --> 00:01:31.070
And I'll get to that in just a second.
00:01:31.310 --> 00:01:37.469
But before we we break down that third leg, Isaiah, uh, what are your initial thoughts uh uh about this topic?
00:01:37.790 --> 00:01:53.549
Yeah, as I was uh as I was researching this, I came across kind of like a it's funny, it's leadership funny, so it's not like hilarious, but the saying goes, if you are uh leading down a path and you don't have any followers, you were simply going on a walk.
00:01:53.710 --> 00:01:56.430
And essentially, yeah, I mean it's kind of funny actually.
00:01:56.670 --> 00:01:56.909
Yeah.
00:01:57.070 --> 00:01:57.790
It's kind of funny.
00:01:57.870 --> 00:01:58.430
It's kind of funny.
00:01:58.670 --> 00:01:59.549
We'll throw it out there.
00:02:00.109 --> 00:02:06.350
But it you know, it kind of centers around influence because leadership is influence, as we've gone over.
00:02:06.510 --> 00:02:13.230
But also so my prep led me into um, as we know, the the great John Maxwell.
00:02:13.389 --> 00:02:24.110
Um he has this kind of core framework for um levels of leadership, and it just goes through one through five.
00:02:24.350 --> 00:02:26.909
Um I'll talk about that for just a second.
00:02:27.069 --> 00:02:37.470
But like when I was reading back through this, and then I'm I'm thinking to today, I'm like, yeah, I remember reading this back in the day, but I don't I don't put it in the forefront of my mind every day.
00:02:37.709 --> 00:02:40.030
Um so it's called the five P's.
00:02:40.269 --> 00:02:48.670
Um and a little bit we'll go through the four C's, we'll we'll go through every single letter of the alphabet at some point, um, and just put a random number in front of it.
00:02:48.829 --> 00:02:50.910
But uh That's how that's how we coach leadership.
00:02:50.990 --> 00:02:53.310
We just choose from alphabetical letters, yeah.
00:02:53.550 --> 00:02:53.790
Yep.
00:02:54.189 --> 00:02:55.949
And then make something up on the fly.
00:02:56.350 --> 00:02:59.550
The one A, the two Bs, um three C's, yep.
00:03:00.110 --> 00:03:01.790
Yep, it works really well.
00:03:02.990 --> 00:03:05.870
We just can't count, so that's why I went to four C's.
00:03:06.030 --> 00:03:10.110
Um but the five P's, so level one is gonna be position.
00:03:10.589 --> 00:03:15.709
Um that is basically people are just following you because they have to.
00:03:15.870 --> 00:03:21.550
Um you were put in a position of authority, they're just following you because they have to.
00:03:21.790 --> 00:03:24.269
Um level two is gonna be permission.
00:03:24.509 --> 00:03:28.829
Um, so it's people following you because they truly want to follow you.
00:03:29.069 --> 00:03:40.350
Um there's not an exact statistic, uh, but through what a couple of things John Maxwell has said, around 80% of quote unquote leaders um get stuck in level one.
00:03:40.509 --> 00:03:41.790
So made it to level two.
00:03:42.030 --> 00:03:42.910
Congratulations.
00:03:43.069 --> 00:03:45.629
You're you're ahead of a lot a lot of people.
00:03:45.949 --> 00:03:48.670
Um level three is gonna be production.
00:03:48.910 --> 00:03:52.430
So people follow you because the results that you get.
00:03:52.750 --> 00:03:57.149
Um, and that's with obviously level two and level one already being met.
00:03:57.230 --> 00:04:00.829
So you're producing results, you're growing the business, all that good stuff.
00:04:00.990 --> 00:04:05.629
Um, level four is gonna be people follow you because of what you've done for them.
00:04:05.709 --> 00:04:07.709
So that's gonna be people development.
00:04:07.790 --> 00:04:12.350
Um, but you are growing the next generation of leaders for your organization.
00:04:12.589 --> 00:04:19.949
You're not just, hey, I made a huge change in this business, and then one day when I leave, um, the business just falls to crap.
00:04:20.030 --> 00:04:24.750
It's like, hey, I am I'm setting this business up for future success.
00:04:25.069 --> 00:04:28.589
Um and then level five is what he calls pinnacle.
00:04:28.670 --> 00:04:32.269
Um, so people follow you because of who you are.
00:04:32.589 --> 00:04:36.829
Um, so it's just kind of a summation of the first four levels.
00:04:36.990 --> 00:04:42.430
Um that is very, very, very rare um in the leadership world.
00:04:42.509 --> 00:04:57.150
That that's that is John Maxwell, that is um Lynn Sioni, that is all of the leadership greats kind of reach that amazing, super, super high level where you have a very, very long-lasting legacy.
00:04:57.470 --> 00:05:01.470
Yeah, I think you could have some athletes in there too, like the Michael Jordans and Tom Brady's.
00:05:01.629 --> 00:05:07.629
Uh that that doesn't mean you know they that's all they brought to the table, but people follow Tom Brady because of who he was.
00:05:07.710 --> 00:05:09.310
You know, he developed into that guy.
00:05:09.470 --> 00:05:13.470
Um people follow Michael Jordan because Michael Jordan was not the greatest teammate in a lot of ways.
00:05:13.629 --> 00:05:15.870
If you watch The Last Dance, you'll see he was tough.
00:05:16.110 --> 00:05:19.069
But people followed him because of who he was and what he represented.
00:05:19.150 --> 00:05:22.509
And that's that's something we're all shooting to to aim for.
00:05:22.670 --> 00:05:32.110
And so you know, the more you listen to leadership, everyone's got their way of explaining similar things because at the end of the day, leadership is basically human skills.
00:05:32.189 --> 00:05:43.710
And your ability to develop uh a skill set around interacting with humans in a way that gets people moving in the same direction towards the mission that you're trying to accomplish, you know, that that's very human skill driven.
00:05:43.870 --> 00:05:47.150
And so everyone packages packages it slightly differently.
00:05:47.310 --> 00:05:50.750
Um the way that we package it i is the four C's.
00:05:50.910 --> 00:05:53.949
And and it's interesting that you came across that John Maxwell stuff.
00:05:54.030 --> 00:06:01.069
I read that, I think that he wrote a book about that years and years ago, and I remember reading it, but I had not thought about that for a very long time until you brought it up today.
00:06:01.870 --> 00:06:04.030
Young John Maxwell with colored hair.
00:06:04.430 --> 00:06:05.150
Yeah, yeah.
00:06:05.390 --> 00:06:06.590
I know it's it's old.
00:06:06.750 --> 00:06:13.870
Uh but I forgot that existed, and that that's really cool to hear because there's a lot of correlation between our four C's and and that model.
00:06:14.110 --> 00:06:21.069
Um and if you listen to leadership coaching, you'll you'll hear similar things because humans are very similar, right?
00:06:21.150 --> 00:06:25.550
That we are complex but similar, and and we respond well to certain things.
00:06:25.710 --> 00:06:29.470
You know, most people respond well to people they have a relationship with.
00:06:29.629 --> 00:06:39.629
You know, I saw uh I don't know if you know uh if Isaiah, you saw this, that that female basketball coach who laid into her player on the sideline or on the Did you see that in the news?
00:06:40.030 --> 00:06:41.310
This is Agra, I did not see it.
00:06:41.550 --> 00:06:42.270
Uh that's okay.
00:06:42.430 --> 00:06:57.150
It's uh it she's like it it's in the ACAA tournament, the the women's NCAA tournament, and the coach, I guess the players, her star player came off the uh the court and it was having a really bad game, and the the coach perceived that she wasn't focused.
00:06:57.310 --> 00:07:02.750
And the coach got in her face, forehead to forehead, literally, and was just reaming her.
00:07:02.830 --> 00:07:04.590
It seemed reaming her.
00:07:04.830 --> 00:07:09.790
And I guess they have professional lip readers, because you can't hear what she's saying, who lip lip read.
00:07:09.870 --> 00:07:13.150
And actually, what she's saying is, you know, you're not yourself today.
00:07:13.310 --> 00:07:14.990
I believe in you, you're better than this.
00:07:15.230 --> 00:07:21.150
What she was saying was pretty encouraging, but she was saying it in a very demonstrative way, so it looked like she was laying into the girl.
00:07:21.310 --> 00:07:28.110
Well, if you watch the the coach's press conference after that interaction, the coach said, you know, just what I said, hey, I believe in her.
00:07:28.189 --> 00:07:33.069
She was not having her best game, she was not focused, and um, and I needed her to dial in.
00:07:33.150 --> 00:07:33.949
This is a big game.
00:07:34.030 --> 00:07:35.150
I needed her to show up.
00:07:35.230 --> 00:07:36.910
And she said, so that's what I was telling her.
00:07:36.990 --> 00:07:39.470
And I was saying it in a very aggressive way.
00:07:39.629 --> 00:07:41.949
And she said, the next, and this is the part that's important.
00:07:42.030 --> 00:07:45.230
She said, but you can only do that when you have a relationship with somebody.
00:07:45.390 --> 00:07:48.030
Like you cannot do what I did tonight with no relationship.
00:07:48.189 --> 00:07:52.910
And far too many leaders and coaches try to do those same things with no relationship, and it never lands.
00:07:53.069 --> 00:07:56.590
And I use that story as an example because that's pretty universal.
00:07:56.670 --> 00:07:58.189
You know, humans need relationships.
00:07:58.350 --> 00:08:00.030
Another thing that's universal is trust.
00:08:00.189 --> 00:08:04.270
Another thing that's universal is wanting to feel like people care about you.
00:08:04.430 --> 00:08:10.430
You know, another thing that's universal is the reciprocity of being served and and and having a leader who serves.
00:08:11.069 --> 00:08:15.150
As much as we are complex creatures, there's a lot of common threads person to person.
00:08:15.310 --> 00:08:17.390
And, you know, we have to learn those skills.
00:08:17.550 --> 00:08:22.189
We have to learn how to do those things if we want to lead at a high level because it resonates with almost everybody.
00:08:22.350 --> 00:08:26.910
So you'll you'll see models like this, and you can pick and choose the one that resonates with you the most.
00:08:26.990 --> 00:08:29.069
But today we're gonna talk about our four C's.
00:08:29.310 --> 00:08:39.069
And and and it's the third leg of our influence model, which, like we already said, is love, care, service, investment, development, helping them reach their goals.
00:08:39.230 --> 00:08:40.990
But I can do all that at a high level.
00:08:41.149 --> 00:08:44.590
But if I don't have these four C's in place, none of that's gonna matter.
00:08:44.669 --> 00:08:48.429
I may have a good relationship with you, but you're not gonna allow me to lead you.
00:08:48.669 --> 00:08:50.830
And we'll break those four C's down now.
00:08:50.990 --> 00:08:54.110
And and the the first one is is credibility.
00:08:54.350 --> 00:09:09.149
So I can have the great relationship with you, I can uh do all the things I just listed, but if I don't have credibility with you, you don't respect me, or maybe I'm not good at my job, or maybe you don't think I'm a good leader, then you're not gonna allow me to lead you.
00:09:09.309 --> 00:09:10.750
And I ask this question to people a lot.
00:09:10.829 --> 00:09:13.229
Do you know people in your life who, man, you love hanging out with them?
00:09:13.309 --> 00:09:19.229
They're a good person, they're fun, you have a good relationship, you trust them, but you're not going to them for advice, right?
00:09:19.389 --> 00:09:25.870
That's the same principle is they don't have the credibility to lead you, but you have the relationship to at least want to hang out with them.
00:09:25.949 --> 00:09:27.789
But as a leader, I need all of that.
00:09:28.110 --> 00:09:31.709
So credibility is it, there's a lot of elements to that.
00:09:31.789 --> 00:09:36.990
And and actually the the the next three C's are the things we do to build credibility.
00:09:37.149 --> 00:09:41.229
But before we get into that, Isaiah, your initial thoughts on on credibility.
00:09:41.389 --> 00:09:49.469
What is your your methodology or your way of building credibility, or how do you see credibility in the arena of of building leadership and influence?
00:09:49.709 --> 00:09:56.189
Yeah, um, I would I would put it into to modern day language, it's just like keeping it 100 or being real.
00:09:56.349 --> 00:10:03.870
Um but like being your actual true authentic self, not faking anything, builds so much credibility.
00:10:04.110 --> 00:10:13.870
Um I I think oftentimes people get so caught up in trying to make everything perfect and optimized, and there's a in some regard that that's a healthy pursuit.
00:10:14.029 --> 00:10:21.069
Um in some regard though, it can make you come across very inauthentic, um, which then just destroys your credibility.
00:10:21.229 --> 00:10:25.229
And then just like literally just standing like on your word.
00:10:25.709 --> 00:10:40.269
Um it's a it's a huge thing and and people really, really don't practice it day to day, but um being a man or woman of your word um changes everything.
00:10:40.429 --> 00:10:45.149
Like people can actually kind of relate to that and they can they can trust you.
00:10:45.309 --> 00:10:47.309
Um and it's it's huge, dude.
00:10:47.389 --> 00:10:47.870
It's huge.
00:10:48.029 --> 00:10:50.189
I I can't can't harp on credibility enough.
00:10:50.429 --> 00:10:58.509
Yeah, and authenticity is a big part of that, like you said, and as I think you and I are a good example of that in a lot of ways because we're we have very different styles.
00:10:58.750 --> 00:11:02.269
And I hear a lot of people say really nice things about Isaiah's approach.
00:11:02.349 --> 00:11:04.349
He is calm, he is cool, he is collected.
00:11:04.589 --> 00:11:08.429
The Isaiah you hear on this podcast is the Isaiah you get off the podcast.
00:11:08.509 --> 00:11:12.669
So he doesn't change, um, he doesn't try to do it any differently.
00:11:12.829 --> 00:11:15.389
I, on the other hand, I speak with a lot of inflection.
00:11:15.469 --> 00:11:16.269
I have a lot of passion.
00:11:16.429 --> 00:11:18.509
If I get going on something, man, I'll get passionate.
00:11:18.589 --> 00:11:25.309
I get my voice ticks up and I get here, and I could very easily think, well, man, people really respond, well to Isaiah.
00:11:25.389 --> 00:11:27.949
Maybe I need to be cool, calm, and collected, but that wouldn't be me anymore.
00:11:28.110 --> 00:11:32.429
And he could look at me and go, man, maybe I should be super passionate when I talk, but that wouldn't be him anymore.
00:11:32.589 --> 00:11:36.349
And and we will lose all credibility because we're trying to be somebody we're not.
00:11:36.429 --> 00:11:58.990
When the reality is when we just keep it 100, which for all the old people, um means that we're keeping it forthright and upfront and and on the level, uh uh, you know, it, you know, you know, people respect that no matter what delivery you have, or no matter what um and and there's a there's a time for me to be calmer and more collect, there's a time for him to have more inflection and passion.
00:11:59.069 --> 00:12:02.669
There's a place for that, but it's still got to be within the authenticity of the person.
00:12:02.829 --> 00:12:06.509
Um I think another way we build credibility is taking ownership.
00:12:06.589 --> 00:12:10.110
You know, that's a big catchphrase in the world of leadership is is ownership.
00:12:10.269 --> 00:12:17.229
Um, you know, that Jocko Willing did not create that, but he really coined it and made it uh more mainstream in the world of leadership.
00:12:17.389 --> 00:12:23.309
But but taking ownership, and that is, you know, being a leader who doesn't look to blame other people.
00:12:23.469 --> 00:12:30.669
You know, I heard it said a long time ago that you a leader should look in the mirror when something goes wrong and look out the window when something goes right.
00:12:30.909 --> 00:12:33.709
And when something goes well in the business, let's give credit.
00:12:33.789 --> 00:12:36.909
And when something goes wrong, let's take ownership of it ourselves.
00:12:37.069 --> 00:12:44.509
And uh, I think a leader that can do that really builds a lot of trust and really builds a lot of credibility with their team because the team feels protected.
00:12:44.669 --> 00:12:49.229
And that that's another thing a leader is tasked with doing is protecting their team.
00:12:49.549 --> 00:12:53.309
So a a a leader must take that very seriously.
00:12:53.389 --> 00:12:55.069
And and and it's hard, man.
00:12:55.149 --> 00:12:56.909
Our egos really don't want to do that.
00:12:57.309 --> 00:13:05.789
I I bet anyone listening, Isaiah yourself included, have been in that situation where you really do not want to take ownership because it means you got to admit something that you don't want to have to admit.
00:13:06.029 --> 00:13:10.669
And it it's a it's a you there's a lot of brutal inner dialogue that goes in your head in those moments.
00:13:10.750 --> 00:13:13.229
You're like, oh, I've got to take ownership of this, I don't want to.
00:13:13.389 --> 00:13:22.189
You know, Bill Smith actually is the one who and you want to have all these excuses and all these uh uh you do, you want to reach out and blame, and that that's an instinct, right?
00:13:22.269 --> 00:13:27.389
Because our egos can't handle the blame of the ownership unless we develop that skill.
00:13:27.629 --> 00:13:30.189
Leaders who can do that build a ton of credibility with their team.
00:13:30.509 --> 00:13:36.829
Zay, you mentioned f you know, being a person of your word, and and the way I I coin that is is is follow through.
00:13:36.990 --> 00:13:42.750
So I think another way we build credibility, and and again, credibility and trust are very close cousins.
00:13:43.069 --> 00:13:48.750
And you know, the if I'm gonna build trust and credibility, I have to follow through on the things I say I'm gonna do.
00:13:48.909 --> 00:13:50.750
So what has been your experience with that?
00:13:51.149 --> 00:13:57.309
Yeah, um, my mind first, and I I hope this answers your question, but I was just thinking about it as you were talking.
00:13:57.469 --> 00:14:08.990
Um, there's so many times in like either home life or work life where someone will exaggerate something, and then it makes me question if that thing is actually at that level or if it's not.
00:14:09.149 --> 00:14:10.589
Like, Isaiah, we need help with this.
00:14:10.669 --> 00:14:20.429
We need we need we need help, or or this is going wrong, and it's like you're yelling, but we're at like we literally just like spilled a little bit of milk on the ground and we're like freaking out.
00:14:20.509 --> 00:14:23.870
Like, is is that the is that the correct response to that?
00:14:24.029 --> 00:14:27.870
Um so then my mind goes back to EQ, which we've talked about before.
00:14:28.029 --> 00:14:32.990
Um, but that's why it's so important to have it, because then that can build credibility on on the back end.
00:14:33.229 --> 00:14:42.029
If you continually make things a big deal when it's not actually a big deal, um, it can destroy your credibility extremely, extremely quickly.
00:14:42.269 --> 00:14:49.229
Um I think that that applies to um like spouses.
00:14:49.309 --> 00:14:53.149
Um, it's very, very helpful for me to know where my wife is on something.
00:14:53.309 --> 00:14:58.189
Like if it's hey, we're in a dire urgent need and we like Nimi, feel free to call me.
00:14:58.269 --> 00:15:01.069
Like I'll I will be there as soon as I can.
00:15:01.229 --> 00:15:09.789
Now, if we like just have a question about where I place the last bottle, um, probably not a need to call me in a in a panic.
00:15:10.029 --> 00:15:11.069
She has not done that.
00:15:11.389 --> 00:15:23.469
But there like so many times in in the workplace, someone will will make something feel like it is the end of the world and it can just destroy their credibility um if it's not actually the end of the world.
00:15:23.629 --> 00:15:28.349
So one of the things that I struggle with was is what you were talking about, is I'm super calm.
00:15:28.589 --> 00:15:46.110
So some sometimes my um calm demeanor can make people in a stressful situation feel calm, which is good, but then also it doesn't necessarily alert them to what's actually going on, um, which on the other side can also destroy a little bit of credibility.
00:15:46.429 --> 00:15:58.429
Yeah, and and I'm glad you brought up emotional intelligence because I think, and I want to live here for just a minute, then we'll go on to the thr other three C's, but I don't know of anything that can kill credibility.
00:15:58.589 --> 00:16:02.909
I mean, other than that, I guess one of the C's we'll talk about could kill it quicker, and I'll get to that in a second.
00:16:03.069 --> 00:16:12.909
But this is one of the top two or three things that can kill your credibility is lack of emotional intelligence, the inability to manage your emotions, to be an unpredictable leader, meaning I don't know who I'm gonna get that day.
00:16:12.990 --> 00:16:15.789
I don't know who I'm gonna get when the you know what hits the fan.
00:16:16.029 --> 00:16:23.149
Um emotional intelligence, uh I battle in my head what's the most important leadership skill, is it humility or emotional intelligence?
00:16:23.309 --> 00:16:25.870
Because they are uh one A and one B.
00:16:26.029 --> 00:16:31.949
And if you're a leader out there who can't manage your emotions, can't manage your stress, who blows up on your team.
00:16:32.110 --> 00:16:44.189
Um was talking to one of my my uh private clients the other day, and he was telling me a story about his boss who is, you know, by all accounts, things he's told me in the past is a decent leader and you know he does some things right.
00:16:44.269 --> 00:16:47.949
Uh, but every time he gets stressed, it all goes out the window.
00:16:48.110 --> 00:16:52.509
And this is a guy that who has access to a lot of leadership tools, by the way.
00:16:52.669 --> 00:16:55.709
He has private coaches that the company provides for him.
00:16:55.789 --> 00:16:57.469
He has they have leadership classes.
00:16:57.629 --> 00:17:01.629
He's learned a lot of leadership skills and tactics and and things like that.
00:17:01.870 --> 00:17:13.710
But the minute the stress hits, it all goes out the window because he has not taken the adequate time to build the emotional intelligence to utilize those skills because he gets caught up in the emotional brain and and and he responds accordingly.
00:17:13.870 --> 00:17:17.710
He attacks, he interrogates, he makes people feel stupid and all those things.
00:17:17.870 --> 00:17:19.230
That kills your credibility.
00:17:19.390 --> 00:17:25.870
And I my client who works for this person, you know, isn't is is is thinking about moving on because of it.
00:17:26.110 --> 00:17:34.350
So, you know, it's it's you know, that that goes back to the old ad is people don't leave uh companies, they they leave bad leaders, you know, and this is a great example of that.
00:17:34.509 --> 00:17:37.950
So emotional intelligence is massive if you want credibility.
00:17:38.110 --> 00:17:43.470
So just a you know, quick recap before we go to the other C's, you know, start to build out this avatar in your head.
00:17:43.710 --> 00:17:49.710
Process, don't just hear these bullet points and and not put them all together into one avatar of a leader.
00:17:49.870 --> 00:18:13.470
Because if you think about this, you walk in, you got somebody who who cares about you, who shows up with a servant heart, who builds trust with you, who is trying to help you accomplish your goals, who invested you, and that person has credibility with you because they, they, they, you know, they they have high emotional intelligence, they take ownership, they don't blame, they protect you, they follow through on what they're gonna say, they do all these things.
00:18:13.630 --> 00:18:16.590
You're starting to see how this person might be a good leader.
00:18:16.750 --> 00:18:19.070
And you also might hear that and think, well, that's a pipe dream.
00:18:19.230 --> 00:18:19.950
Those people don't exist.
00:18:20.110 --> 00:18:20.910
Well, yes, they do.
00:18:21.070 --> 00:18:22.269
Is there enough of them in the world?
00:18:22.430 --> 00:18:22.910
There's not.
00:18:23.070 --> 00:18:26.350
And that's what Isaiah and I's mission is to create more people like that.
00:18:26.509 --> 00:18:30.350
But anyone can do these things if they have the desire deep enough to do them.
00:18:30.509 --> 00:18:33.150
So we're gonna add the next piece of the avatar now.
00:18:33.230 --> 00:18:35.390
And and Isaiah, I'm gonna let you talk about this first.
00:18:35.550 --> 00:18:38.670
The next thing is competence because I can do everything I just said.
00:18:38.750 --> 00:18:41.230
But if we're we're talking about in the workplace right now, okay?
00:18:41.390 --> 00:18:46.509
I can do everything I just said, but if I'm crap at my job, no one's gonna want to follow me.
00:18:46.670 --> 00:18:52.190
They may like me, they may want to be around me, they may like working with me, but they're not gonna listen when I need them to listen.
00:18:52.269 --> 00:18:55.950
They're not gonna let me leave when I need to leave, they're not gonna follow when I need them to follow.
00:18:56.190 --> 00:18:57.710
So competence, Isaiah.
00:18:57.950 --> 00:18:58.430
Thoughts on that?
00:18:58.910 --> 00:19:04.750
No one very, very in the in the most loving kind way.
00:19:05.150 --> 00:19:10.509
Um, if you do not obtain this skill, nobody will follow you.
00:19:10.830 --> 00:19:15.870
Um now they may learn how to make a grilled cheese from you.
00:19:16.029 --> 00:19:21.230
Um if you do not have the competence to be able to, yeah.
00:19:21.630 --> 00:19:26.190
There's a there's a it's it's probably a joke more so at my age.
00:19:26.509 --> 00:19:30.750
Um, but you you can teach someone how to do that.
00:19:30.910 --> 00:19:38.910
If if that's all just about all that your capacity is, um nobody can really gain anything from you.
00:19:39.070 --> 00:19:42.029
Um so therefore, why are they going to follow you?
00:19:42.190 --> 00:19:46.110
One of the things that we talk about is growing your leaders.
00:19:46.269 --> 00:19:51.950
Um, if you do not have anything to give your leaders to grow them, it makes it very, very hard to do that.
00:19:52.110 --> 00:20:00.910
Um, and that goes on the little IQ side of things to the also EQ, to the also specific skills that you have in your job.
00:20:01.070 --> 00:20:06.590
Um, if you work in the legal department and you do not know law, that's not gonna work out well for you.
00:20:06.750 --> 00:20:17.950
Um if you work in the chicken industry and you cannot perform the job correctly to meet all this all the specific standards, even that the Chick-fil-A has, it's not gonna go well for you.
00:20:18.190 --> 00:20:24.830
Um you you have to know all those things and then you also have to model them every single day.
00:20:24.990 --> 00:20:30.110
Um so I mean competence, it's it most people just put it as a checkbox.
00:20:30.269 --> 00:20:34.910
Um, but it's it's it's something that you truly have to check.
00:20:35.070 --> 00:20:36.750
Um you can't do it without it.
00:20:36.990 --> 00:20:42.350
Yeah, when you don't have competence too, people know that you can't help them reach their goals.
00:20:42.430 --> 00:20:47.390
You talked about helping get better at the job, absolutely, but you also can't help them reach their goals.
00:20:47.470 --> 00:20:50.190
And and like it or not, people do think selfishly like that.
00:20:50.350 --> 00:20:56.269
You know, there's very few altruistic people out there that are just working because they care about everyone but themselves.
00:20:56.430 --> 00:21:01.310
And and being competent, people see when you're not and they know, hey, this person can't help me.
00:21:01.390 --> 00:21:03.390
And it affects your ability to build influence.
00:21:03.550 --> 00:21:10.190
And I look at competency from two perspectives, like in the Chick-fil-A world, I and let's talk about this for a second.
00:21:10.269 --> 00:21:25.070
So in the Chick-fil-A world or any business world, the way people typically get promoted is they get hired for a technical skill, they get really good at that technical skill, and so someone in management thinks that they should go now lead the people who do that technical skill.
00:21:25.230 --> 00:21:30.350
So if you think about somebody maybe who sells insurance, they're a really good salesperson, they have the highest close rate.
00:21:30.509 --> 00:21:32.190
Okay, let's promote them a sales manager.
00:21:32.350 --> 00:21:35.710
Well, now they're leading the sales team, but then no one taught them how to lead.
00:21:35.789 --> 00:21:38.350
It's a different skill set than selling insurance on the phone.
00:21:38.509 --> 00:21:47.150
You know, so your competency can be technical and operational, but as you come higher in the organization, the competency also has to be as a leader.
00:21:47.310 --> 00:21:54.990
And, you know, a lot of that's what we talk about in this podcast and all our episodes, but even more specifically, the last three is how to build that competency.
00:21:55.150 --> 00:21:56.190
So you need it on both.
00:21:56.350 --> 00:22:04.269
And Isaiah, you know, you know as well as I do, there's an individual that we work with that has very high operational competency and very low leadership competency.
00:22:04.430 --> 00:22:11.310
And I would ask you, I mean, right or wrong, unbelievably high operational competency, unbelievably low leadership competency.
00:22:11.470 --> 00:22:13.630
How much infl how much influence does that person have?
00:22:13.950 --> 00:22:14.509
Zero.
00:22:15.310 --> 00:22:17.310
Yeah, that it and that's just facts.
00:22:17.550 --> 00:22:22.190
So um, so making sure that you're competent on both sides of that equation.
00:22:22.430 --> 00:22:22.830
All right.
00:22:23.070 --> 00:22:26.509
So the the third C that is, and this is the one I was alluding to.
00:22:26.830 --> 00:22:35.710
To earlier that could probably kill your credibility and your influence quicker than anything, is even above emotional intelligence, is character.
00:22:36.190 --> 00:22:39.310
Being a piece of crap person is not going to cut it.
00:22:39.390 --> 00:22:40.990
And I wish I didn't have to use this C.
00:22:41.230 --> 00:22:44.269
The reality is there's a lot of people like that out there, unfortunately.
00:22:44.350 --> 00:22:48.750
Um, people who don't care about others, people who have low integrity, people who cut corners.
00:22:48.910 --> 00:22:53.150
You know, you've seen that all the way up to like even the Enron thing, you know, a decade or so ago.
00:22:53.310 --> 00:22:54.670
I can't remember how long ago that was now.
00:22:54.910 --> 00:22:57.070
Isaiah, you were probably in diapers when that happened.
00:22:57.150 --> 00:23:03.310
But but you know, when those executives you and Kenley share diapers.
00:23:03.470 --> 00:23:15.870
Um these are very smart, accomplished people who were cutting corners to make money, and they ended up in prison and all kinds of you know things uh downward spiral from that.
00:23:16.190 --> 00:23:33.550
So being somebody of high character and high integrity is an absolute must if you want credibility, because even if you show care, you know, you you invest, you help them accomplish their goals, you're you have credibility and competency on the job, but they know you're not a good person, and this is whether you're talking about inside the job or outside the job.
00:23:33.870 --> 00:23:54.110
You come in the job and fake like you're a good person, but they if they know you're a piece of crap at home, uh and and all the ways that that can happen, whether you're a raging alcoholic, whether you're you use drugs, whether you're abusive to your spouse, whether you s you commit crimes, whether, you know, all those things outside of work, uh maybe just mistreat people in general, you're gonna lose all of your influence.
00:23:54.269 --> 00:23:58.190
Um and of course, if you do anything inappropriate in work, the same thing's gonna happen.
00:23:58.350 --> 00:24:04.190
So some, you know, I Isaiah, you're somebody I view as very, very high character is one of my favorite things about you.
00:24:04.350 --> 00:24:08.350
So how do you find that character plays a role in your ability to build influence?
00:24:08.430 --> 00:24:10.269
And listen, I don't know if you've ever thought about this.
00:24:10.350 --> 00:24:26.509
I'm about to put you on the spot, but I believe, because you know, he and I work with all the same people, and I believe your character and your integrity probably bring you more cachet than just about anything else you do, because people know what a stand-up guy you are.
00:24:26.670 --> 00:24:27.870
Have you ever thought about that?
00:24:27.950 --> 00:24:30.509
And if so, you know, what are your thoughts around that?
00:24:30.590 --> 00:24:33.470
How do you see that play a role in your ability to lead?
00:24:33.710 --> 00:24:34.590
Yeah, I appreciate that.
00:24:34.670 --> 00:24:35.710
It's very kind of you.
00:24:35.950 --> 00:24:40.269
Um I I view it as like a prerequisite.
00:24:40.430 --> 00:24:48.269
So I I I honestly I I don't think about it a ton, and I I mean that from the the the least egotistical spot possible.
00:24:48.430 --> 00:24:52.430
Um, but I don't think about it a ton because it's like it's just what you should do.
00:24:52.590 --> 00:24:54.590
That's that's how you should lead.
00:24:54.750 --> 00:25:01.550
Um you should not be a fake person at work and then you know, like come home and be a completely different version of yourself.
00:25:01.630 --> 00:25:03.870
That that's that's never how it should go.
00:25:04.110 --> 00:25:12.590
Um this past weekend I was talking with a guy that um kind of like manages NIL for um Clemson, um, which is like insane.
00:25:12.750 --> 00:25:15.789
He's just I mean there's there's a ton of people that that have to do that.
00:25:15.950 --> 00:25:19.789
Um but I was talking and uh I'm a huge Georgia football fan.
00:25:19.950 --> 00:25:27.870
Um and unfortunately, you know, uh I I saw this thing the other day about you know Tiger Woods got his most recent DUI.
00:25:28.430 --> 00:25:30.670
Um I don't I think that's number two.
00:25:30.830 --> 00:25:33.070
And number two also wears car rolled over.
00:25:33.230 --> 00:25:39.470
Um but yeah guys that wear red and black just don't know how to drive um drink properly.
00:25:40.029 --> 00:25:44.590
Um but and I heard that most I heard that most Georgia people are illiterate too.
00:25:44.670 --> 00:25:45.789
I don't know if that's true, but that's what I mean.
00:25:46.110 --> 00:25:46.990
I don't know if they said that.
00:25:47.070 --> 00:25:47.230
Yeah.
00:25:47.550 --> 00:25:48.590
I re I read that, yeah.
00:25:48.990 --> 00:25:50.190
Okay, where'd you read that?
00:25:50.590 --> 00:25:50.990
In a book.
00:25:51.789 --> 00:25:51.950
Okay.
00:25:52.110 --> 00:25:53.630
What what book specifically?
00:25:54.190 --> 00:25:56.269
The We All Hate Georgia fans book.
00:25:56.590 --> 00:25:56.830
Wow.
00:25:57.070 --> 00:25:58.110
Sounds like a heck of a book.
00:25:58.350 --> 00:25:58.750
It's a great book.
00:25:59.070 --> 00:25:59.950
Good thing to spend your time on.
00:26:00.029 --> 00:26:00.430
Yeah, that's all.
00:26:00.830 --> 00:26:02.750
Second highest selling book of all time, next to the Bible.
00:26:02.910 --> 00:26:03.390
Fun fact.
00:26:03.630 --> 00:26:04.029
Wow.
00:26:04.190 --> 00:26:04.350
Yeah.
00:26:04.509 --> 00:26:04.750
Wow.
00:26:05.070 --> 00:26:05.550
Okay, cool.
00:26:05.710 --> 00:26:06.990
Maybe I'll maybe I'll buy a copy.
00:26:07.230 --> 00:26:10.830
Hey, it's like it's like the old Spurrier joke, Steve Spurrier joke he told about Auburn.
00:26:11.070 --> 00:26:11.870
You ever heard that one?
00:26:12.350 --> 00:26:14.590
So I wish it was a Georgia joke, but it's not.
00:26:14.750 --> 00:26:20.750
But I guess in back in the 90s, the library at Auburn burned down, or there was a fire within the library.
00:26:20.830 --> 00:26:21.870
I don't know if it burned down.
00:26:22.029 --> 00:26:31.710
But um uh but I guess you know, Spurrier was known for jabbing uh our rivals, and someone asked Steve Spurrier about the fire at Auburn, and he said, Yeah, I heard about that.
00:26:31.789 --> 00:26:32.750
You know, that that's too bad.
00:26:32.910 --> 00:26:36.190
He said the real shame of it is 12 of the books weren't even colored yet.
00:26:36.350 --> 00:26:38.670
So I've always loved that.
00:26:39.550 --> 00:26:39.630
Yeah.
00:26:39.870 --> 00:26:40.590
It's pretty solid.
00:26:40.910 --> 00:26:43.150
But that's how I think about Georgia, but yeah, but go ahead.
00:26:43.390 --> 00:26:45.070
Yeah, no, it's completely fair.
00:26:45.310 --> 00:27:11.470
Um But then I was talking, I was like, I I picture um, I don't know how many like recruiting visits Kirby Smart does, but I picture like Kirby or some other staff member going to a high school, um, high schooler's house and they're they're trying to bring him to Georgia and sitting there with the family, and like I just don't like purely theorizing, but I don't know how it's not a conversation piece of like how do you keep having DUIs?
00:27:11.630 --> 00:27:12.910
How did a person die?
00:27:13.310 --> 00:27:14.830
How does all this happen?
00:27:14.990 --> 00:27:18.990
Like you, you, you have an amazing team, there's a lot of skill, there's a lot of talent.
00:27:19.070 --> 00:27:23.630
It seems like Kirby Smart is a decent leader, but how does this keep happening?
00:27:23.789 --> 00:27:27.630
There has to be a question of character when it comes to that.
00:27:27.789 --> 00:27:33.789
Like they're just had like no other team has had as half as many as Georgia has had.
00:27:33.950 --> 00:27:44.430
Um so it makes you question um, are people not coming to Georgia be simply because they're they have a question of the lack of character um that the Georgia culture has?
00:27:44.750 --> 00:27:48.509
Yeah, and and I think some of that, and this is a character issue, is entitlement.
00:27:48.830 --> 00:27:53.070
You know, Georgia's been uh uber successful in football the last you know eight, nine years.
00:27:53.630 --> 00:28:08.990
And that comes, you know, when you when you combine the fact that you play for the best team in football for the last eight, nine years and NIO money, so now you got a young 18, 19-year-old kid with a bunch of money, and a lot of them will spend that money on fast cars, that's a recipe for disaster.
00:28:09.470 --> 00:28:10.830
But that goes into character.
00:28:11.070 --> 00:28:16.190
We, you know, that that if we want to be somebody of influence, we better be somebody of integrity and character.
00:28:16.350 --> 00:28:26.590
And I would, you know, really challenge everybody listening to to pay attention to what I'm saying and really analyze your life, because I guarantee all of us can find areas of our life where we can be of higher character.
00:28:26.750 --> 00:28:27.550
I promise you.
00:28:27.710 --> 00:28:35.550
You know what you we sometimes we tell white lies, or some you sometimes we you know cut corners, and sometimes we you know uh gossip too much.
00:28:35.710 --> 00:28:51.950
I mean, there's a lot of things that that that can go into this, and I would challenge everyone to to do everything you can do to up level your character to the highest uh point you can possibly get it, because it will work wonders for uh people's willingness to let you influence them and follow you.
00:28:52.110 --> 00:28:55.390
And if you look at uh what was the the fifth P on Maxwell's list?
00:28:55.550 --> 00:28:56.590
Was it pi the pinnacle?
00:28:56.670 --> 00:28:56.990
What was it?
00:28:57.310 --> 00:28:58.029
Pinnacle, yes.
00:28:58.269 --> 00:29:00.269
Yeah, and and so what what did that mean?
00:29:00.430 --> 00:29:03.310
So think about character and then listen to what Isaiah's about to say.
00:29:03.390 --> 00:29:04.110
What is pinnacle?
00:29:04.350 --> 00:29:07.470
Um pinnacle is people follow because of who you are.
00:29:07.710 --> 00:29:08.430
That's character.
00:29:08.590 --> 00:29:10.430
That's how important character is right there.
00:29:10.670 --> 00:29:14.990
So all right, last one, and then we'll finish our influence series.
00:29:15.150 --> 00:29:18.509
Uh, and I'll do a quick review at the end to make sure that it all comes together for us.
00:29:18.670 --> 00:29:20.269
But the last one is confidence.
00:29:20.430 --> 00:29:26.269
I don't know if you've ever worked with somebody who lacked confidence or had a certain level of meekness.
00:29:26.509 --> 00:29:32.350
It is very difficult to have credibility and therefore influence when you lack confidence.
00:29:32.670 --> 00:29:42.269
And we're going to do an episode on confidence probably pretty soon because it it is a s it is something that there there is a formula to help build it.
00:29:42.430 --> 00:29:48.029
Um there are ways to to enhance our confidence that I think everybody needs to do in here.
00:29:48.190 --> 00:29:51.310
Um it's one of those things, again, that's universal to all humans.
00:29:51.630 --> 00:30:01.390
But at the end of the day, if you get everything up we set up until now right, but you do not lead with confidence, and and I think a byproduct of confidence is presence.
00:30:01.550 --> 00:30:27.710
So having a certain presence about you, I think it'll be hard for people to follow you because I think when you lack confidence and you show that lack of confidence in your presence, the way you engage with people, the way you talk to people, the way you carry yourself, your inability to to uh speak honestly and truthfully, your inability to uh engage in difficult feedback, your inability to challenge people, stand up for yourself, fight for what you believe in, right?
00:30:27.950 --> 00:30:45.950
Your inability to do all those things, the people see that, that oozes out of you, and now you become somebody that they may like, you become somebody that they may want to be around, but you you you're not somebody they want to follow into battle because they don't believe you can actually succeed.
00:30:46.110 --> 00:30:47.470
So think about that for a second.
00:30:47.710 --> 00:30:51.070
If you don't have confidence in yourself, why in the hell would somebody have confidence in you?
00:30:51.230 --> 00:30:54.750
And if they don't have confidence in you, why would they follow you?
00:30:54.910 --> 00:30:58.350
Because you can't get them to the promised land anyway, because you can't get yourself there.
00:30:58.509 --> 00:31:03.950
So so confidence is a massive part of being a great leader, and it's something we all have to develop.
00:31:04.029 --> 00:31:06.509
And Isaiah, you and I see this a lot at Chick-fil-A's.
00:31:06.590 --> 00:31:19.710
We have young leaders when they get into a leadership role, they are very nervous to give feedback or or they carry themselves in a meek manner because they have a little bit of imposter syndrome or all the things that happen when we get promoted.
00:31:19.950 --> 00:31:22.590
Where have you seen that really show up at your in your leadership?
00:31:22.910 --> 00:31:26.990
Yeah, um, I think it's it's such a struggle with that generation.
00:31:27.470 --> 00:31:31.150
Like people will talk about self-confidence, like just confidence in general.
00:31:31.310 --> 00:31:34.509
It's such a buzzword that people literally just throw around and they're like, How do I build it?
00:31:34.590 --> 00:31:35.470
How do I build it?
00:31:35.630 --> 00:31:37.470
Um I I just want to be a confident person.
00:31:37.710 --> 00:31:55.310
It's like uh through through my experience um and through talking with a lot a lot of clients and then also people at Chick-fil-A, it's oftentimes people are not doing the work when they're either alone, um, when no one's watching whatever it is.
00:31:55.550 --> 00:32:05.470
Um and I uh people push back on that often, but when you really, really dig deep, it's they didn't put in the effort to actually learn whatever skill it was.
00:32:05.630 --> 00:32:13.470
Um they didn't listen to the podcast, they didn't read the book, um, they did not mean you don't have to, but they didn't take a class on it.
00:32:13.630 --> 00:32:20.750
Um, they did not research the the subject enough to learn about it, and that's where a large lack of confidence comes from.
00:32:20.910 --> 00:32:24.670
So you actually have to do the work to build all the confidence that you want to.
00:32:24.910 --> 00:32:30.830
I know that's a a wild thought, um, but so many people don't do it.
00:32:31.070 --> 00:32:37.710
Yeah, and we talk about we'll we'll break this down further when we do an episode on confidence, but you know, we always say confidence needs evidence.
00:32:37.950 --> 00:32:46.830
And you see these people who teach fake confidence like power posing and you know using body language to build your confidence, that may have a small, minute effect.
00:32:46.990 --> 00:32:47.789
The brain knows.
00:32:47.950 --> 00:32:50.750
Your brain keeps score, it knows when you're confident and when you're not.
00:32:50.990 --> 00:32:55.950
And the b so we talked about an imposture syndrome, which is the biggest thing that hurts our confidence.
00:32:56.110 --> 00:33:00.590
The big, biggest antidote antidote to imposture syndrome is preparation.
00:33:00.750 --> 00:33:04.350
So if you want to overcome impostor syndrome, to Isaiah's point, be prepared.
00:33:04.509 --> 00:33:05.870
Well, what does being prepared look like?
00:33:06.029 --> 00:33:10.430
Well, it depends on what you're trying to accomplish, but at a minimum, it's knowing your subject.
00:33:10.590 --> 00:33:15.470
I really see a lack of confidence in people when they have never learned how to lead.
00:33:15.630 --> 00:33:23.310
So you'll see people come into like the Chick-fil-A world as team members, and they don't have a lot of confidence because remember, confidence is situational as well.
00:33:23.550 --> 00:33:26.350
So we can be very confident in one area of our life and not in another.
00:33:26.590 --> 00:33:38.029
But you'll see people coming to Chick-fil-A and they're brand new team members and they have no confidence on how to do any of the operations that we need them to do, and then fast forward six months and they're supremely confident, right?
00:33:38.110 --> 00:33:45.630
They they, you know, and and at Chick-fil-A, we tend to bring a lot of confident people operationally because it's very hard, we're very busy, it's very intense.
00:33:45.789 --> 00:33:53.150
And once you can perform operations at Chick-fil-A under those conditions, tends to build your confidence, and rightfully so.
00:33:53.310 --> 00:33:54.430
And then we promote them.
00:33:54.590 --> 00:34:04.750
And now they gotta use a new skill, and that is human skills, communication skills, building influence, leadership, all the things we talk about, and their confidence plummets again.
00:34:04.910 --> 00:34:06.670
Here's the problem most companies have.
00:34:06.830 --> 00:34:10.269
We have a training protocol to get you ready for operations.
00:34:10.429 --> 00:34:14.349
We also happen to have a training protocol to get you ready for leadership, but most companies don't.
00:34:14.509 --> 00:34:20.349
So now they've been promoted and they're in a role where they need a new skill set, ain't nobody coming to teach them that skill set.
00:34:20.509 --> 00:34:25.949
And if that person's not taking the initiative to teach themselves, it's a recipe for very low confidence.
00:34:26.110 --> 00:34:30.190
And then what starts to happen is they start to question themselves, the apostrous syndrome gets worse.
00:34:30.269 --> 00:34:32.029
They start to think, am I cut out for leadership?
00:34:32.110 --> 00:34:33.469
Is this really what I should be doing?
00:34:33.710 --> 00:34:37.630
When all they had to do was develop themselves, learn, be educated.
00:34:37.789 --> 00:34:44.030
And obviously, all their company had to do was meet in the and meet them in the middle with those things as well, and it would have made a huge difference.
00:34:44.190 --> 00:34:48.590
But make no mistake, confidence is a massive part of building influence.
00:34:48.750 --> 00:34:59.630
Again, we'll do a different episode on that in the future, but I just encourage you to process that, really analyze yourself where, you know, in anything we talked about today.
00:34:59.789 --> 00:35:00.750
Where are you winning?
00:35:00.829 --> 00:35:01.630
Where are you losing?
00:35:01.789 --> 00:35:03.309
Where could you uplevel yourself?
00:35:03.389 --> 00:35:06.829
You know, are you a a a good relationship builder, or do you need to work on that?
00:35:07.070 --> 00:35:11.309
Do you understand how to build trust with the people around you, or do you need to work on that?
00:35:11.470 --> 00:35:14.030
Do you truly have a heart that loves to serve and care?
00:35:14.190 --> 00:35:17.550
That's a major one, you know, because you you I've said this in prior episodes.
00:35:17.710 --> 00:35:20.110
I hate the term servant leadership because it's redundant.
00:35:20.190 --> 00:35:21.550
You can't be a leader without service.
00:35:21.710 --> 00:35:24.430
So do you do those things well or do you need to grow in those areas?
00:35:24.590 --> 00:35:27.230
Do you truly care about your people enough to invest in them?
00:35:27.309 --> 00:35:28.349
Do you care about their goals?
00:35:28.510 --> 00:35:29.470
Do you know their goals?
00:35:29.630 --> 00:35:33.230
Do you even go to level two relationship building with them to learn their goals?
00:35:33.389 --> 00:35:34.590
Or do we need to work on that?
00:35:34.750 --> 00:35:36.110
And then the four C's.
00:35:36.190 --> 00:35:42.510
Where's your credibility, your ability to follow through, take ownership, be authentic, manage your emotions at a high level?
00:35:42.670 --> 00:35:46.909
Where are you at with your character, where are you at with your your confidence, right?
00:35:46.990 --> 00:35:48.430
Where you're at with your competence.
00:35:48.510 --> 00:35:51.950
And really do some soul searching because that is the path.
00:35:52.190 --> 00:35:53.309
We always talk about in coaching.
00:35:53.470 --> 00:35:55.230
All we can do as coaches is give you the path.
00:35:55.389 --> 00:35:56.750
We can't make you walk the path.
00:35:56.909 --> 00:35:58.269
We can't make you stay on the path.
00:35:58.430 --> 00:36:01.150
We can't make you not turn around and quit when it gets hard.
00:36:01.230 --> 00:36:02.430
We can't do any of that for you.
00:36:02.510 --> 00:36:03.789
But we can give you the path.
00:36:03.950 --> 00:36:05.950
And this is the path forward to influence.
00:36:06.030 --> 00:36:07.309
And influence is leadership.
00:36:07.389 --> 00:36:13.470
And if you do these things, I promise you, it will change everything, not just at work, but in every as uh facet of your life.
00:36:13.630 --> 00:36:15.150
So, Isaiah, wrap us up.
00:36:15.230 --> 00:36:18.670
Tell me what your your closing thoughts are on this and and and we'll kill it there.
00:36:18.909 --> 00:36:29.470
Yeah, if you take confidence as one of the C's and then you group together the other three C's, the way you build confidence is in partial being really, really good at the other three C's.
00:36:29.630 --> 00:36:29.869
Yes.
00:36:30.269 --> 00:36:36.430
And then the those three C's, if if if you're really good at confidence, then it helps the other three Cs.
00:36:36.590 --> 00:36:42.829
Uh you you're like, there's there's a difference, and you and I were talking about this the other day other day, Jason.
00:36:42.909 --> 00:36:49.710
Um, but they're like, yeah, guys, I I think we're probably gonna go with this plan versus, yep, we're gonna do this.
00:36:49.869 --> 00:36:51.869
Like those are two completely different things.
00:36:52.030 --> 00:36:54.110
They come across completely differently.
00:36:54.190 --> 00:36:58.990
Um, it affects how that plan is actually executed, um, all the things.
00:36:59.230 --> 00:37:04.269
But um when you have this this sense of confidence, so it has to be authentic.
00:37:04.430 --> 00:37:10.510
Um, if there is a hole in your confidence, then it will be found um every single time.
00:37:10.670 --> 00:37:13.950
So it can't be fake, it's got to be a hundred percent authentic.
00:37:14.030 --> 00:37:17.070
Um, but they they kind of work in harmony that way.
00:37:17.150 --> 00:37:19.309
They they they all come together.
00:37:19.470 --> 00:37:24.909
Um, but if you view it like that, confidence helps the other three C's, the three C's help confidence.
00:37:25.230 --> 00:37:27.150
Yep, they have a very symbiotic relationship.
00:37:27.309 --> 00:37:38.670
And and yeah, and when you have all those things, it changes the way you engage with people, how you communicate, your ability to look them in the eye, uh, your ability to speak convictedly, your your ability to be convicted in the first place.
00:37:38.829 --> 00:37:40.829
So there's just a lot of good that comes from that.
00:37:40.990 --> 00:37:42.670
And so I'll close with this, guys.
00:37:44.269 --> 00:37:48.269
All of the things we've talked about in these last three episodes take intentionality, right?
00:37:48.349 --> 00:37:49.550
These things don't just happen.
00:37:49.789 --> 00:37:52.990
So the first step and and being intentional is to be aware.
00:37:53.070 --> 00:38:03.550
And be aware of a what needs to happen to build your influence and and and and what is the current reality of where you are right now and where's the gap and what do you need to up level uh to get yourself there.
00:38:03.789 --> 00:38:09.070
But I talk about all the time the fact that that leadership is a way of thinking.
00:38:09.230 --> 00:38:10.269
It's a mindset.
00:38:10.430 --> 00:38:12.030
We don't just show up and lead well.
00:38:12.190 --> 00:38:14.030
We don't just show up and be great at it.
00:38:14.190 --> 00:38:18.190
Just like we don't just show up, you know, as as a kid and we're great at every sport.
00:38:18.349 --> 00:38:21.150
No, there's skills that go into those sports that we have to develop and build.
00:38:21.309 --> 00:38:22.510
Same thing with leadership.
00:38:22.670 --> 00:38:24.510
Well, in sports, we have to be intentional.
00:38:24.590 --> 00:38:29.869
We have to go to practice, we have to get lessons, we have to work on our own, we have to go to the gym and get bigger, stronger, faster.
00:38:30.030 --> 00:38:31.150
It takes intentionality.
00:38:31.309 --> 00:38:32.190
Same thing with leadership.
00:38:32.269 --> 00:38:35.789
So if you want to be great at these things, you can't snap your fingers and make it happen.
00:38:35.869 --> 00:38:40.670
You have to start attacking them one by one and being intentional about it, understanding how important it is.
00:38:40.829 --> 00:38:48.909
And if you do that for enough time, your little micro progressions will build on each other, and one day you'll wake up and you'll be the leader that you always wanted to have in your life.
00:38:49.070 --> 00:38:50.430
So with that, we'll wrap it up.
00:38:50.590 --> 00:38:51.630
Any closing thoughts, Isaiah?
00:38:51.789 --> 00:38:52.750
Amen to all that, brother.
00:38:52.909 --> 00:38:53.710
Amen to all that.
00:38:53.789 --> 00:38:55.389
I think you he lust it perfectly.
00:38:55.550 --> 00:38:56.030
All right, guys.
00:38:56.110 --> 00:39:00.349
Well, I appreciate that, and I appreciate you guys listening, and uh, we'll be back next week with a new episode.
00:00:26.750 --> 00:00:28.990
All right, and welcome back to the Second Mile Leadership Podcast.
00:00:29.070 --> 00:00:31.150
We are your hosts, Jason and Isaiah.
00:00:31.310 --> 00:00:35.390
And this is episode three of the influence series.
00:00:35.550 --> 00:00:40.829
And going back just slightly in the previous episodes, please go back and listen to those if you have not already.
00:00:40.990 --> 00:00:44.590
But in those episodes, we discussed the importance of building relationships.
00:00:44.750 --> 00:00:46.670
I introduced like a three-legged stool for influence.
00:00:46.750 --> 00:00:54.990
And the first two legs were building relationships, trust, having a servant heart, you know, showing care, actually having genuine love and care for your team.
00:00:55.070 --> 00:01:01.550
We talked about investing in them, helping them reach their goals, making sure your mission and your vision attach to their goals as well.
00:01:01.630 --> 00:01:03.710
So they're accomplishing what they want to accomplish.
00:01:03.870 --> 00:01:07.469
And these are the beginning makings of having influence, right?
00:01:07.629 --> 00:01:11.390
So, you know, you're not making leadership and influence all about you.
00:01:11.550 --> 00:01:13.469
You're making it about everyone around you.
00:01:13.629 --> 00:01:24.030
But there's a third leg of the stool we need to discuss today because, you know, it I can build a great relationship with you, I can have trust with you, I can show care for you, I can invest in you, I can try to grow you.
00:01:24.189 --> 00:01:29.390
But if I don't have this one other thing, we're going to be in trouble when it comes to influence.
00:01:29.469 --> 00:01:31.070
And I'll get to that in just a second.
00:01:31.310 --> 00:01:37.469
But before we we break down that third leg, Isaiah, uh, what are your initial thoughts uh uh about this topic?
00:01:37.790 --> 00:01:53.549
Yeah, as I was uh as I was researching this, I came across kind of like a it's funny, it's leadership funny, so it's not like hilarious, but the saying goes, if you are uh leading down a path and you don't have any followers, you were simply going on a walk.
00:01:53.710 --> 00:01:56.430
And essentially, yeah, I mean it's kind of funny actually.
00:01:56.670 --> 00:01:56.909
Yeah.
00:01:57.070 --> 00:01:57.790
It's kind of funny.
00:01:57.870 --> 00:01:58.430
It's kind of funny.
00:01:58.670 --> 00:01:59.549
We'll throw it out there.
00:02:00.109 --> 00:02:06.350
But it you know, it kind of centers around influence because leadership is influence, as we've gone over.
00:02:06.510 --> 00:02:13.230
But also so my prep led me into um, as we know, the the great John Maxwell.
00:02:13.389 --> 00:02:24.110
Um he has this kind of core framework for um levels of leadership, and it just goes through one through five.
00:02:24.350 --> 00:02:26.909
Um I'll talk about that for just a second.
00:02:27.069 --> 00:02:37.470
But like when I was reading back through this, and then I'm I'm thinking to today, I'm like, yeah, I remember reading this back in the day, but I don't I don't put it in the forefront of my mind every day.
00:02:37.709 --> 00:02:40.030
Um so it's called the five P's.
00:02:40.269 --> 00:02:48.670
Um and a little bit we'll go through the four C's, we'll we'll go through every single letter of the alphabet at some point, um, and just put a random number in front of it.
00:02:48.829 --> 00:02:50.910
But uh That's how that's how we coach leadership.
00:02:50.990 --> 00:02:53.310
We just choose from alphabetical letters, yeah.
00:02:53.550 --> 00:02:53.790
Yep.
00:02:54.189 --> 00:02:55.949
And then make something up on the fly.
00:02:56.350 --> 00:02:59.550
The one A, the two Bs, um three C's, yep.
00:03:00.110 --> 00:03:01.790
Yep, it works really well.
00:03:02.990 --> 00:03:05.870
We just can't count, so that's why I went to four C's.
00:03:06.030 --> 00:03:10.110
Um but the five P's, so level one is gonna be position.
00:03:10.589 --> 00:03:15.709
Um that is basically people are just following you because they have to.
00:03:15.870 --> 00:03:21.550
Um you were put in a position of authority, they're just following you because they have to.
00:03:21.790 --> 00:03:24.269
Um level two is gonna be permission.
00:03:24.509 --> 00:03:28.829
Um, so it's people following you because they truly want to follow you.
00:03:29.069 --> 00:03:40.350
Um there's not an exact statistic, uh, but through what a couple of things John Maxwell has said, around 80% of quote unquote leaders um get stuck in level one.
00:03:40.509 --> 00:03:41.790
So made it to level two.
00:03:42.030 --> 00:03:42.910
Congratulations.
00:03:43.069 --> 00:03:45.629
You're you're ahead of a lot a lot of people.
00:03:45.949 --> 00:03:48.670
Um level three is gonna be production.
00:03:48.910 --> 00:03:52.430
So people follow you because the results that you get.
00:03:52.750 --> 00:03:57.149
Um, and that's with obviously level two and level one already being met.
00:03:57.230 --> 00:04:00.829
So you're producing results, you're growing the business, all that good stuff.
00:04:00.990 --> 00:04:05.629
Um, level four is gonna be people follow you because of what you've done for them.
00:04:05.709 --> 00:04:07.709
So that's gonna be people development.
00:04:07.790 --> 00:04:12.350
Um, but you are growing the next generation of leaders for your organization.
00:04:12.589 --> 00:04:19.949
You're not just, hey, I made a huge change in this business, and then one day when I leave, um, the business just falls to crap.
00:04:20.030 --> 00:04:24.750
It's like, hey, I am I'm setting this business up for future success.
00:04:25.069 --> 00:04:28.589
Um and then level five is what he calls pinnacle.
00:04:28.670 --> 00:04:32.269
Um, so people follow you because of who you are.
00:04:32.589 --> 00:04:36.829
Um, so it's just kind of a summation of the first four levels.
00:04:36.990 --> 00:04:42.430
Um that is very, very, very rare um in the leadership world.
00:04:42.509 --> 00:04:57.150
That that's that is John Maxwell, that is um Lynn Sioni, that is all of the leadership greats kind of reach that amazing, super, super high level where you have a very, very long-lasting legacy.
00:04:57.470 --> 00:05:01.470
Yeah, I think you could have some athletes in there too, like the Michael Jordans and Tom Brady's.
00:05:01.629 --> 00:05:07.629
Uh that that doesn't mean you know they that's all they brought to the table, but people follow Tom Brady because of who he was.
00:05:07.710 --> 00:05:09.310
You know, he developed into that guy.
00:05:09.470 --> 00:05:13.470
Um people follow Michael Jordan because Michael Jordan was not the greatest teammate in a lot of ways.
00:05:13.629 --> 00:05:15.870
If you watch The Last Dance, you'll see he was tough.
00:05:16.110 --> 00:05:19.069
But people followed him because of who he was and what he represented.
00:05:19.150 --> 00:05:22.509
And that's that's something we're all shooting to to aim for.
00:05:22.670 --> 00:05:32.110
And so you know, the more you listen to leadership, everyone's got their way of explaining similar things because at the end of the day, leadership is basically human skills.
00:05:32.189 --> 00:05:43.710
And your ability to develop uh a skill set around interacting with humans in a way that gets people moving in the same direction towards the mission that you're trying to accomplish, you know, that that's very human skill driven.
00:05:43.870 --> 00:05:47.150
And so everyone packages packages it slightly differently.
00:05:47.310 --> 00:05:50.750
Um the way that we package it i is the four C's.
00:05:50.910 --> 00:05:53.949
And and it's interesting that you came across that John Maxwell stuff.
00:05:54.030 --> 00:06:01.069
I read that, I think that he wrote a book about that years and years ago, and I remember reading it, but I had not thought about that for a very long time until you brought it up today.
00:06:01.870 --> 00:06:04.030
Young John Maxwell with colored hair.
00:06:04.430 --> 00:06:05.150
Yeah, yeah.
00:06:05.390 --> 00:06:06.590
I know it's it's old.
00:06:06.750 --> 00:06:13.870
Uh but I forgot that existed, and that that's really cool to hear because there's a lot of correlation between our four C's and and that model.
00:06:14.110 --> 00:06:21.069
Um and if you listen to leadership coaching, you'll you'll hear similar things because humans are very similar, right?
00:06:21.150 --> 00:06:25.550
That we are complex but similar, and and we respond well to certain things.
00:06:25.710 --> 00:06:29.470
You know, most people respond well to people they have a relationship with.
00:06:29.629 --> 00:06:39.629
You know, I saw uh I don't know if you know uh if Isaiah, you saw this, that that female basketball coach who laid into her player on the sideline or on the Did you see that in the news?
00:06:40.030 --> 00:06:41.310
This is Agra, I did not see it.
00:06:41.550 --> 00:06:42.270
Uh that's okay.
00:06:42.430 --> 00:06:57.150
It's uh it she's like it it's in the ACAA tournament, the the women's NCAA tournament, and the coach, I guess the players, her star player came off the uh the court and it was having a really bad game, and the the coach perceived that she wasn't focused.
00:06:57.310 --> 00:07:02.750
And the coach got in her face, forehead to forehead, literally, and was just reaming her.
00:07:02.830 --> 00:07:04.590
It seemed reaming her.
00:07:04.830 --> 00:07:09.790
And I guess they have professional lip readers, because you can't hear what she's saying, who lip lip read.
00:07:09.870 --> 00:07:13.150
And actually, what she's saying is, you know, you're not yourself today.
00:07:13.310 --> 00:07:14.990
I believe in you, you're better than this.
00:07:15.230 --> 00:07:21.150
What she was saying was pretty encouraging, but she was saying it in a very demonstrative way, so it looked like she was laying into the girl.
00:07:21.310 --> 00:07:28.110
Well, if you watch the the coach's press conference after that interaction, the coach said, you know, just what I said, hey, I believe in her.
00:07:28.189 --> 00:07:33.069
She was not having her best game, she was not focused, and um, and I needed her to dial in.
00:07:33.150 --> 00:07:33.949
This is a big game.
00:07:34.030 --> 00:07:35.150
I needed her to show up.
00:07:35.230 --> 00:07:36.910
And she said, so that's what I was telling her.
00:07:36.990 --> 00:07:39.470
And I was saying it in a very aggressive way.
00:07:39.629 --> 00:07:41.949
And she said, the next, and this is the part that's important.
00:07:42.030 --> 00:07:45.230
She said, but you can only do that when you have a relationship with somebody.
00:07:45.390 --> 00:07:48.030
Like you cannot do what I did tonight with no relationship.
00:07:48.189 --> 00:07:52.910
And far too many leaders and coaches try to do those same things with no relationship, and it never lands.
00:07:53.069 --> 00:07:56.590
And I use that story as an example because that's pretty universal.
00:07:56.670 --> 00:07:58.189
You know, humans need relationships.
00:07:58.350 --> 00:08:00.030
Another thing that's universal is trust.
00:08:00.189 --> 00:08:04.270
Another thing that's universal is wanting to feel like people care about you.
00:08:04.430 --> 00:08:10.430
You know, another thing that's universal is the reciprocity of being served and and and having a leader who serves.
00:08:11.069 --> 00:08:15.150
As much as we are complex creatures, there's a lot of common threads person to person.
00:08:15.310 --> 00:08:17.390
And, you know, we have to learn those skills.
00:08:17.550 --> 00:08:22.189
We have to learn how to do those things if we want to lead at a high level because it resonates with almost everybody.
00:08:22.350 --> 00:08:26.910
So you'll you'll see models like this, and you can pick and choose the one that resonates with you the most.
00:08:26.990 --> 00:08:29.069
But today we're gonna talk about our four C's.
00:08:29.310 --> 00:08:39.069
And and and it's the third leg of our influence model, which, like we already said, is love, care, service, investment, development, helping them reach their goals.
00:08:39.230 --> 00:08:40.990
But I can do all that at a high level.
00:08:41.149 --> 00:08:44.590
But if I don't have these four C's in place, none of that's gonna matter.
00:08:44.669 --> 00:08:48.429
I may have a good relationship with you, but you're not gonna allow me to lead you.
00:08:48.669 --> 00:08:50.830
And we'll break those four C's down now.
00:08:50.990 --> 00:08:54.110
And and the the first one is is credibility.
00:08:54.350 --> 00:09:09.149
So I can have the great relationship with you, I can uh do all the things I just listed, but if I don't have credibility with you, you don't respect me, or maybe I'm not good at my job, or maybe you don't think I'm a good leader, then you're not gonna allow me to lead you.
00:09:09.309 --> 00:09:10.750
And I ask this question to people a lot.
00:09:10.829 --> 00:09:13.229
Do you know people in your life who, man, you love hanging out with them?
00:09:13.309 --> 00:09:19.229
They're a good person, they're fun, you have a good relationship, you trust them, but you're not going to them for advice, right?
00:09:19.389 --> 00:09:25.870
That's the same principle is they don't have the credibility to lead you, but you have the relationship to at least want to hang out with them.
00:09:25.949 --> 00:09:27.789
But as a leader, I need all of that.
00:09:28.110 --> 00:09:31.709
So credibility is it, there's a lot of elements to that.
00:09:31.789 --> 00:09:36.990
And and actually the the the next three C's are the things we do to build credibility.
00:09:37.149 --> 00:09:41.229
But before we get into that, Isaiah, your initial thoughts on on credibility.
00:09:41.389 --> 00:09:49.469
What is your your methodology or your way of building credibility, or how do you see credibility in the arena of of building leadership and influence?
00:09:49.709 --> 00:09:56.189
Yeah, um, I would I would put it into to modern day language, it's just like keeping it 100 or being real.
00:09:56.349 --> 00:10:03.870
Um but like being your actual true authentic self, not faking anything, builds so much credibility.
00:10:04.110 --> 00:10:13.870
Um I I think oftentimes people get so caught up in trying to make everything perfect and optimized, and there's a in some regard that that's a healthy pursuit.
00:10:14.029 --> 00:10:21.069
Um in some regard though, it can make you come across very inauthentic, um, which then just destroys your credibility.
00:10:21.229 --> 00:10:25.229
And then just like literally just standing like on your word.
00:10:25.709 --> 00:10:40.269
Um it's a it's a huge thing and and people really, really don't practice it day to day, but um being a man or woman of your word um changes everything.
00:10:40.429 --> 00:10:45.149
Like people can actually kind of relate to that and they can they can trust you.
00:10:45.309 --> 00:10:47.309
Um and it's it's huge, dude.
00:10:47.389 --> 00:10:47.870
It's huge.
00:10:48.029 --> 00:10:50.189
I I can't can't harp on credibility enough.
00:10:50.429 --> 00:10:58.509
Yeah, and authenticity is a big part of that, like you said, and as I think you and I are a good example of that in a lot of ways because we're we have very different styles.
00:10:58.750 --> 00:11:02.269
And I hear a lot of people say really nice things about Isaiah's approach.
00:11:02.349 --> 00:11:04.349
He is calm, he is cool, he is collected.
00:11:04.589 --> 00:11:08.429
The Isaiah you hear on this podcast is the Isaiah you get off the podcast.
00:11:08.509 --> 00:11:12.669
So he doesn't change, um, he doesn't try to do it any differently.
00:11:12.829 --> 00:11:15.389
I, on the other hand, I speak with a lot of inflection.
00:11:15.469 --> 00:11:16.269
I have a lot of passion.
00:11:16.429 --> 00:11:18.509
If I get going on something, man, I'll get passionate.
00:11:18.589 --> 00:11:25.309
I get my voice ticks up and I get here, and I could very easily think, well, man, people really respond, well to Isaiah.
00:11:25.389 --> 00:11:27.949
Maybe I need to be cool, calm, and collected, but that wouldn't be me anymore.
00:11:28.110 --> 00:11:32.429
And he could look at me and go, man, maybe I should be super passionate when I talk, but that wouldn't be him anymore.
00:11:32.589 --> 00:11:36.349
And and we will lose all credibility because we're trying to be somebody we're not.
00:11:36.429 --> 00:11:58.990
When the reality is when we just keep it 100, which for all the old people, um means that we're keeping it forthright and upfront and and on the level, uh uh, you know, it, you know, you know, people respect that no matter what delivery you have, or no matter what um and and there's a there's a time for me to be calmer and more collect, there's a time for him to have more inflection and passion.
00:11:59.069 --> 00:12:02.669
There's a place for that, but it's still got to be within the authenticity of the person.
00:12:02.829 --> 00:12:06.509
Um I think another way we build credibility is taking ownership.
00:12:06.589 --> 00:12:10.110
You know, that's a big catchphrase in the world of leadership is is ownership.
00:12:10.269 --> 00:12:17.229
Um, you know, that Jocko Willing did not create that, but he really coined it and made it uh more mainstream in the world of leadership.
00:12:17.389 --> 00:12:23.309
But but taking ownership, and that is, you know, being a leader who doesn't look to blame other people.
00:12:23.469 --> 00:12:30.669
You know, I heard it said a long time ago that you a leader should look in the mirror when something goes wrong and look out the window when something goes right.
00:12:30.909 --> 00:12:33.709
And when something goes well in the business, let's give credit.
00:12:33.789 --> 00:12:36.909
And when something goes wrong, let's take ownership of it ourselves.
00:12:37.069 --> 00:12:44.509
And uh, I think a leader that can do that really builds a lot of trust and really builds a lot of credibility with their team because the team feels protected.
00:12:44.669 --> 00:12:49.229
And that that's another thing a leader is tasked with doing is protecting their team.
00:12:49.549 --> 00:12:53.309
So a a a leader must take that very seriously.
00:12:53.389 --> 00:12:55.069
And and and it's hard, man.
00:12:55.149 --> 00:12:56.909
Our egos really don't want to do that.
00:12:57.309 --> 00:13:05.789
I I bet anyone listening, Isaiah yourself included, have been in that situation where you really do not want to take ownership because it means you got to admit something that you don't want to have to admit.
00:13:06.029 --> 00:13:10.669
And it it's a it's a you there's a lot of brutal inner dialogue that goes in your head in those moments.
00:13:10.750 --> 00:13:13.229
You're like, oh, I've got to take ownership of this, I don't want to.
00:13:13.389 --> 00:13:22.189
You know, Bill Smith actually is the one who and you want to have all these excuses and all these uh uh you do, you want to reach out and blame, and that that's an instinct, right?
00:13:22.269 --> 00:13:27.389
Because our egos can't handle the blame of the ownership unless we develop that skill.
00:13:27.629 --> 00:13:30.189
Leaders who can do that build a ton of credibility with their team.
00:13:30.509 --> 00:13:36.829
Zay, you mentioned f you know, being a person of your word, and and the way I I coin that is is is follow through.
00:13:36.990 --> 00:13:42.750
So I think another way we build credibility, and and again, credibility and trust are very close cousins.
00:13:43.069 --> 00:13:48.750
And you know, the if I'm gonna build trust and credibility, I have to follow through on the things I say I'm gonna do.
00:13:48.909 --> 00:13:50.750
So what has been your experience with that?
00:13:51.149 --> 00:13:57.309
Yeah, um, my mind first, and I I hope this answers your question, but I was just thinking about it as you were talking.
00:13:57.469 --> 00:14:08.990
Um, there's so many times in like either home life or work life where someone will exaggerate something, and then it makes me question if that thing is actually at that level or if it's not.
00:14:09.149 --> 00:14:10.589
Like, Isaiah, we need help with this.
00:14:10.669 --> 00:14:20.429
We need we need we need help, or or this is going wrong, and it's like you're yelling, but we're at like we literally just like spilled a little bit of milk on the ground and we're like freaking out.
00:14:20.509 --> 00:14:23.870
Like, is is that the is that the correct response to that?
00:14:24.029 --> 00:14:27.870
Um so then my mind goes back to EQ, which we've talked about before.
00:14:28.029 --> 00:14:32.990
Um, but that's why it's so important to have it, because then that can build credibility on on the back end.
00:14:33.229 --> 00:14:42.029
If you continually make things a big deal when it's not actually a big deal, um, it can destroy your credibility extremely, extremely quickly.
00:14:42.269 --> 00:14:49.229
Um I think that that applies to um like spouses.
00:14:49.309 --> 00:14:53.149
Um, it's very, very helpful for me to know where my wife is on something.
00:14:53.309 --> 00:14:58.189
Like if it's hey, we're in a dire urgent need and we like Nimi, feel free to call me.
00:14:58.269 --> 00:15:01.069
Like I'll I will be there as soon as I can.
00:15:01.229 --> 00:15:09.789
Now, if we like just have a question about where I place the last bottle, um, probably not a need to call me in a in a panic.
00:15:10.029 --> 00:15:11.069
She has not done that.
00:15:11.389 --> 00:15:23.469
But there like so many times in in the workplace, someone will will make something feel like it is the end of the world and it can just destroy their credibility um if it's not actually the end of the world.
00:15:23.629 --> 00:15:28.349
So one of the things that I struggle with was is what you were talking about, is I'm super calm.
00:15:28.589 --> 00:15:46.110
So some sometimes my um calm demeanor can make people in a stressful situation feel calm, which is good, but then also it doesn't necessarily alert them to what's actually going on, um, which on the other side can also destroy a little bit of credibility.
00:15:46.429 --> 00:15:58.429
Yeah, and and I'm glad you brought up emotional intelligence because I think, and I want to live here for just a minute, then we'll go on to the thr other three C's, but I don't know of anything that can kill credibility.
00:15:58.589 --> 00:16:02.909
I mean, other than that, I guess one of the C's we'll talk about could kill it quicker, and I'll get to that in a second.
00:16:03.069 --> 00:16:12.909
But this is one of the top two or three things that can kill your credibility is lack of emotional intelligence, the inability to manage your emotions, to be an unpredictable leader, meaning I don't know who I'm gonna get that day.
00:16:12.990 --> 00:16:15.789
I don't know who I'm gonna get when the you know what hits the fan.
00:16:16.029 --> 00:16:23.149
Um emotional intelligence, uh I battle in my head what's the most important leadership skill, is it humility or emotional intelligence?
00:16:23.309 --> 00:16:25.870
Because they are uh one A and one B.
00:16:26.029 --> 00:16:31.949
And if you're a leader out there who can't manage your emotions, can't manage your stress, who blows up on your team.
00:16:32.110 --> 00:16:44.189
Um was talking to one of my my uh private clients the other day, and he was telling me a story about his boss who is, you know, by all accounts, things he's told me in the past is a decent leader and you know he does some things right.
00:16:44.269 --> 00:16:47.949
Uh, but every time he gets stressed, it all goes out the window.
00:16:48.110 --> 00:16:52.509
And this is a guy that who has access to a lot of leadership tools, by the way.
00:16:52.669 --> 00:16:55.709
He has private coaches that the company provides for him.
00:16:55.789 --> 00:16:57.469
He has they have leadership classes.
00:16:57.629 --> 00:17:01.629
He's learned a lot of leadership skills and tactics and and things like that.
00:17:01.870 --> 00:17:13.710
But the minute the stress hits, it all goes out the window because he has not taken the adequate time to build the emotional intelligence to utilize those skills because he gets caught up in the emotional brain and and and he responds accordingly.
00:17:13.870 --> 00:17:17.710
He attacks, he interrogates, he makes people feel stupid and all those things.
00:17:17.870 --> 00:17:19.230
That kills your credibility.
00:17:19.390 --> 00:17:25.870
And I my client who works for this person, you know, isn't is is is thinking about moving on because of it.
00:17:26.110 --> 00:17:34.350
So, you know, it's it's you know, that that goes back to the old ad is people don't leave uh companies, they they leave bad leaders, you know, and this is a great example of that.
00:17:34.509 --> 00:17:37.950
So emotional intelligence is massive if you want credibility.
00:17:38.110 --> 00:17:43.470
So just a you know, quick recap before we go to the other C's, you know, start to build out this avatar in your head.
00:17:43.710 --> 00:17:49.710
Process, don't just hear these bullet points and and not put them all together into one avatar of a leader.
00:17:49.870 --> 00:18:13.470
Because if you think about this, you walk in, you got somebody who who cares about you, who shows up with a servant heart, who builds trust with you, who is trying to help you accomplish your goals, who invested you, and that person has credibility with you because they, they, they, you know, they they have high emotional intelligence, they take ownership, they don't blame, they protect you, they follow through on what they're gonna say, they do all these things.
00:18:13.630 --> 00:18:16.590
You're starting to see how this person might be a good leader.
00:18:16.750 --> 00:18:19.070
And you also might hear that and think, well, that's a pipe dream.
00:18:19.230 --> 00:18:19.950
Those people don't exist.
00:18:20.110 --> 00:18:20.910
Well, yes, they do.
00:18:21.070 --> 00:18:22.269
Is there enough of them in the world?
00:18:22.430 --> 00:18:22.910
There's not.
00:18:23.070 --> 00:18:26.350
And that's what Isaiah and I's mission is to create more people like that.
00:18:26.509 --> 00:18:30.350
But anyone can do these things if they have the desire deep enough to do them.
00:18:30.509 --> 00:18:33.150
So we're gonna add the next piece of the avatar now.
00:18:33.230 --> 00:18:35.390
And and Isaiah, I'm gonna let you talk about this first.
00:18:35.550 --> 00:18:38.670
The next thing is competence because I can do everything I just said.
00:18:38.750 --> 00:18:41.230
But if we're we're talking about in the workplace right now, okay?
00:18:41.390 --> 00:18:46.509
I can do everything I just said, but if I'm crap at my job, no one's gonna want to follow me.
00:18:46.670 --> 00:18:52.190
They may like me, they may want to be around me, they may like working with me, but they're not gonna listen when I need them to listen.
00:18:52.269 --> 00:18:55.950
They're not gonna let me leave when I need to leave, they're not gonna follow when I need them to follow.
00:18:56.190 --> 00:18:57.710
So competence, Isaiah.
00:18:57.950 --> 00:18:58.430
Thoughts on that?
00:18:58.910 --> 00:19:04.750
No one very, very in the in the most loving kind way.
00:19:05.150 --> 00:19:10.509
Um, if you do not obtain this skill, nobody will follow you.
00:19:10.830 --> 00:19:15.870
Um now they may learn how to make a grilled cheese from you.
00:19:16.029 --> 00:19:21.230
Um if you do not have the competence to be able to, yeah.
00:19:21.630 --> 00:19:26.190
There's a there's a it's it's probably a joke more so at my age.
00:19:26.509 --> 00:19:30.750
Um, but you you can teach someone how to do that.
00:19:30.910 --> 00:19:38.910
If if that's all just about all that your capacity is, um nobody can really gain anything from you.
00:19:39.070 --> 00:19:42.029
Um so therefore, why are they going to follow you?
00:19:42.190 --> 00:19:46.110
One of the things that we talk about is growing your leaders.
00:19:46.269 --> 00:19:51.950
Um, if you do not have anything to give your leaders to grow them, it makes it very, very hard to do that.
00:19:52.110 --> 00:20:00.910
Um, and that goes on the little IQ side of things to the also EQ, to the also specific skills that you have in your job.
00:20:01.070 --> 00:20:06.590
Um, if you work in the legal department and you do not know law, that's not gonna work out well for you.
00:20:06.750 --> 00:20:17.950
Um if you work in the chicken industry and you cannot perform the job correctly to meet all this all the specific standards, even that the Chick-fil-A has, it's not gonna go well for you.
00:20:18.190 --> 00:20:24.830
Um you you have to know all those things and then you also have to model them every single day.
00:20:24.990 --> 00:20:30.110
Um so I mean competence, it's it most people just put it as a checkbox.
00:20:30.269 --> 00:20:34.910
Um, but it's it's it's something that you truly have to check.
00:20:35.070 --> 00:20:36.750
Um you can't do it without it.
00:20:36.990 --> 00:20:42.350
Yeah, when you don't have competence too, people know that you can't help them reach their goals.
00:20:42.430 --> 00:20:47.390
You talked about helping get better at the job, absolutely, but you also can't help them reach their goals.
00:20:47.470 --> 00:20:50.190
And and like it or not, people do think selfishly like that.
00:20:50.350 --> 00:20:56.269
You know, there's very few altruistic people out there that are just working because they care about everyone but themselves.
00:20:56.430 --> 00:21:01.310
And and being competent, people see when you're not and they know, hey, this person can't help me.
00:21:01.390 --> 00:21:03.390
And it affects your ability to build influence.
00:21:03.550 --> 00:21:10.190
And I look at competency from two perspectives, like in the Chick-fil-A world, I and let's talk about this for a second.
00:21:10.269 --> 00:21:25.070
So in the Chick-fil-A world or any business world, the way people typically get promoted is they get hired for a technical skill, they get really good at that technical skill, and so someone in management thinks that they should go now lead the people who do that technical skill.
00:21:25.230 --> 00:21:30.350
So if you think about somebody maybe who sells insurance, they're a really good salesperson, they have the highest close rate.
00:21:30.509 --> 00:21:32.190
Okay, let's promote them a sales manager.
00:21:32.350 --> 00:21:35.710
Well, now they're leading the sales team, but then no one taught them how to lead.
00:21:35.789 --> 00:21:38.350
It's a different skill set than selling insurance on the phone.
00:21:38.509 --> 00:21:47.150
You know, so your competency can be technical and operational, but as you come higher in the organization, the competency also has to be as a leader.
00:21:47.310 --> 00:21:54.990
And, you know, a lot of that's what we talk about in this podcast and all our episodes, but even more specifically, the last three is how to build that competency.
00:21:55.150 --> 00:21:56.190
So you need it on both.
00:21:56.350 --> 00:22:04.269
And Isaiah, you know, you know as well as I do, there's an individual that we work with that has very high operational competency and very low leadership competency.
00:22:04.430 --> 00:22:11.310
And I would ask you, I mean, right or wrong, unbelievably high operational competency, unbelievably low leadership competency.
00:22:11.470 --> 00:22:13.630
How much infl how much influence does that person have?
00:22:13.950 --> 00:22:14.509
Zero.
00:22:15.310 --> 00:22:17.310
Yeah, that it and that's just facts.
00:22:17.550 --> 00:22:22.190
So um, so making sure that you're competent on both sides of that equation.
00:22:22.430 --> 00:22:22.830
All right.
00:22:23.070 --> 00:22:26.509
So the the third C that is, and this is the one I was alluding to.
00:22:26.830 --> 00:22:35.710
To earlier that could probably kill your credibility and your influence quicker than anything, is even above emotional intelligence, is character.
00:22:36.190 --> 00:22:39.310
Being a piece of crap person is not going to cut it.
00:22:39.390 --> 00:22:40.990
And I wish I didn't have to use this C.
00:22:41.230 --> 00:22:44.269
The reality is there's a lot of people like that out there, unfortunately.
00:22:44.350 --> 00:22:48.750
Um, people who don't care about others, people who have low integrity, people who cut corners.
00:22:48.910 --> 00:22:53.150
You know, you've seen that all the way up to like even the Enron thing, you know, a decade or so ago.
00:22:53.310 --> 00:22:54.670
I can't remember how long ago that was now.
00:22:54.910 --> 00:22:57.070
Isaiah, you were probably in diapers when that happened.
00:22:57.150 --> 00:23:03.310
But but you know, when those executives you and Kenley share diapers.
00:23:03.470 --> 00:23:15.870
Um these are very smart, accomplished people who were cutting corners to make money, and they ended up in prison and all kinds of you know things uh downward spiral from that.
00:23:16.190 --> 00:23:33.550
So being somebody of high character and high integrity is an absolute must if you want credibility, because even if you show care, you know, you you invest, you help them accomplish their goals, you're you have credibility and competency on the job, but they know you're not a good person, and this is whether you're talking about inside the job or outside the job.
00:23:33.870 --> 00:23:54.110
You come in the job and fake like you're a good person, but they if they know you're a piece of crap at home, uh and and all the ways that that can happen, whether you're a raging alcoholic, whether you're you use drugs, whether you're abusive to your spouse, whether you s you commit crimes, whether, you know, all those things outside of work, uh maybe just mistreat people in general, you're gonna lose all of your influence.
00:23:54.269 --> 00:23:58.190
Um and of course, if you do anything inappropriate in work, the same thing's gonna happen.
00:23:58.350 --> 00:24:04.190
So some, you know, I Isaiah, you're somebody I view as very, very high character is one of my favorite things about you.
00:24:04.350 --> 00:24:08.350
So how do you find that character plays a role in your ability to build influence?
00:24:08.430 --> 00:24:10.269
And listen, I don't know if you've ever thought about this.
00:24:10.350 --> 00:24:26.509
I'm about to put you on the spot, but I believe, because you know, he and I work with all the same people, and I believe your character and your integrity probably bring you more cachet than just about anything else you do, because people know what a stand-up guy you are.
00:24:26.670 --> 00:24:27.870
Have you ever thought about that?
00:24:27.950 --> 00:24:30.509
And if so, you know, what are your thoughts around that?
00:24:30.590 --> 00:24:33.470
How do you see that play a role in your ability to lead?
00:24:33.710 --> 00:24:34.590
Yeah, I appreciate that.
00:24:34.670 --> 00:24:35.710
It's very kind of you.
00:24:35.950 --> 00:24:40.269
Um I I view it as like a prerequisite.
00:24:40.430 --> 00:24:48.269
So I I I honestly I I don't think about it a ton, and I I mean that from the the the least egotistical spot possible.
00:24:48.430 --> 00:24:52.430
Um, but I don't think about it a ton because it's like it's just what you should do.
00:24:52.590 --> 00:24:54.590
That's that's how you should lead.
00:24:54.750 --> 00:25:01.550
Um you should not be a fake person at work and then you know, like come home and be a completely different version of yourself.
00:25:01.630 --> 00:25:03.870
That that's that's never how it should go.
00:25:04.110 --> 00:25:12.590
Um this past weekend I was talking with a guy that um kind of like manages NIL for um Clemson, um, which is like insane.
00:25:12.750 --> 00:25:15.789
He's just I mean there's there's a ton of people that that have to do that.
00:25:15.950 --> 00:25:19.789
Um but I was talking and uh I'm a huge Georgia football fan.
00:25:19.950 --> 00:25:27.870
Um and unfortunately, you know, uh I I saw this thing the other day about you know Tiger Woods got his most recent DUI.
00:25:28.430 --> 00:25:30.670
Um I don't I think that's number two.
00:25:30.830 --> 00:25:33.070
And number two also wears car rolled over.
00:25:33.230 --> 00:25:39.470
Um but yeah guys that wear red and black just don't know how to drive um drink properly.
00:25:40.029 --> 00:25:44.590
Um but and I heard that most I heard that most Georgia people are illiterate too.
00:25:44.670 --> 00:25:45.789
I don't know if that's true, but that's what I mean.
00:25:46.110 --> 00:25:46.990
I don't know if they said that.
00:25:47.070 --> 00:25:47.230
Yeah.
00:25:47.550 --> 00:25:48.590
I re I read that, yeah.
00:25:48.990 --> 00:25:50.190
Okay, where'd you read that?
00:25:50.590 --> 00:25:50.990
In a book.
00:25:51.789 --> 00:25:51.950
Okay.
00:25:52.110 --> 00:25:53.630
What what book specifically?
00:25:54.190 --> 00:25:56.269
The We All Hate Georgia fans book.
00:25:56.590 --> 00:25:56.830
Wow.
00:25:57.070 --> 00:25:58.110
Sounds like a heck of a book.
00:25:58.350 --> 00:25:58.750
It's a great book.
00:25:59.070 --> 00:25:59.950
Good thing to spend your time on.
00:26:00.029 --> 00:26:00.430
Yeah, that's all.
00:26:00.830 --> 00:26:02.750
Second highest selling book of all time, next to the Bible.
00:26:02.910 --> 00:26:03.390
Fun fact.
00:26:03.630 --> 00:26:04.029
Wow.
00:26:04.190 --> 00:26:04.350
Yeah.
00:26:04.509 --> 00:26:04.750
Wow.
00:26:05.070 --> 00:26:05.550
Okay, cool.
00:26:05.710 --> 00:26:06.990
Maybe I'll maybe I'll buy a copy.
00:26:07.230 --> 00:26:10.830
Hey, it's like it's like the old Spurrier joke, Steve Spurrier joke he told about Auburn.
00:26:11.070 --> 00:26:11.870
You ever heard that one?
00:26:12.350 --> 00:26:14.590
So I wish it was a Georgia joke, but it's not.
00:26:14.750 --> 00:26:20.750
But I guess in back in the 90s, the library at Auburn burned down, or there was a fire within the library.
00:26:20.830 --> 00:26:21.870
I don't know if it burned down.
00:26:22.029 --> 00:26:31.710
But um uh but I guess you know, Spurrier was known for jabbing uh our rivals, and someone asked Steve Spurrier about the fire at Auburn, and he said, Yeah, I heard about that.
00:26:31.789 --> 00:26:32.750
You know, that that's too bad.
00:26:32.910 --> 00:26:36.190
He said the real shame of it is 12 of the books weren't even colored yet.
00:26:36.350 --> 00:26:38.670
So I've always loved that.
00:26:39.550 --> 00:26:39.630
Yeah.
00:26:39.870 --> 00:26:40.590
It's pretty solid.
00:26:40.910 --> 00:26:43.150
But that's how I think about Georgia, but yeah, but go ahead.
00:26:43.390 --> 00:26:45.070
Yeah, no, it's completely fair.
00:26:45.310 --> 00:27:11.470
Um But then I was talking, I was like, I I picture um, I don't know how many like recruiting visits Kirby Smart does, but I picture like Kirby or some other staff member going to a high school, um, high schooler's house and they're they're trying to bring him to Georgia and sitting there with the family, and like I just don't like purely theorizing, but I don't know how it's not a conversation piece of like how do you keep having DUIs?
00:27:11.630 --> 00:27:12.910
How did a person die?
00:27:13.310 --> 00:27:14.830
How does all this happen?
00:27:14.990 --> 00:27:18.990
Like you, you, you have an amazing team, there's a lot of skill, there's a lot of talent.
00:27:19.070 --> 00:27:23.630
It seems like Kirby Smart is a decent leader, but how does this keep happening?
00:27:23.789 --> 00:27:27.630
There has to be a question of character when it comes to that.
00:27:27.789 --> 00:27:33.789
Like they're just had like no other team has had as half as many as Georgia has had.
00:27:33.950 --> 00:27:44.430
Um so it makes you question um, are people not coming to Georgia be simply because they're they have a question of the lack of character um that the Georgia culture has?
00:27:44.750 --> 00:27:48.509
Yeah, and and I think some of that, and this is a character issue, is entitlement.
00:27:48.830 --> 00:27:53.070
You know, Georgia's been uh uber successful in football the last you know eight, nine years.
00:27:53.630 --> 00:28:08.990
And that comes, you know, when you when you combine the fact that you play for the best team in football for the last eight, nine years and NIO money, so now you got a young 18, 19-year-old kid with a bunch of money, and a lot of them will spend that money on fast cars, that's a recipe for disaster.
00:28:09.470 --> 00:28:10.830
But that goes into character.
00:28:11.070 --> 00:28:16.190
We, you know, that that if we want to be somebody of influence, we better be somebody of integrity and character.
00:28:16.350 --> 00:28:26.590
And I would, you know, really challenge everybody listening to to pay attention to what I'm saying and really analyze your life, because I guarantee all of us can find areas of our life where we can be of higher character.
00:28:26.750 --> 00:28:27.550
I promise you.
00:28:27.710 --> 00:28:35.550
You know what you we sometimes we tell white lies, or some you sometimes we you know cut corners, and sometimes we you know uh gossip too much.
00:28:35.710 --> 00:28:51.950
I mean, there's a lot of things that that that can go into this, and I would challenge everyone to to do everything you can do to up level your character to the highest uh point you can possibly get it, because it will work wonders for uh people's willingness to let you influence them and follow you.
00:28:52.110 --> 00:28:55.390
And if you look at uh what was the the fifth P on Maxwell's list?
00:28:55.550 --> 00:28:56.590
Was it pi the pinnacle?
00:28:56.670 --> 00:28:56.990
What was it?
00:28:57.310 --> 00:28:58.029
Pinnacle, yes.
00:28:58.269 --> 00:29:00.269
Yeah, and and so what what did that mean?
00:29:00.430 --> 00:29:03.310
So think about character and then listen to what Isaiah's about to say.
00:29:03.390 --> 00:29:04.110
What is pinnacle?
00:29:04.350 --> 00:29:07.470
Um pinnacle is people follow because of who you are.
00:29:07.710 --> 00:29:08.430
That's character.
00:29:08.590 --> 00:29:10.430
That's how important character is right there.
00:29:10.670 --> 00:29:14.990
So all right, last one, and then we'll finish our influence series.
00:29:15.150 --> 00:29:18.509
Uh, and I'll do a quick review at the end to make sure that it all comes together for us.
00:29:18.670 --> 00:29:20.269
But the last one is confidence.
00:29:20.430 --> 00:29:26.269
I don't know if you've ever worked with somebody who lacked confidence or had a certain level of meekness.
00:29:26.509 --> 00:29:32.350
It is very difficult to have credibility and therefore influence when you lack confidence.
00:29:32.670 --> 00:29:42.269
And we're going to do an episode on confidence probably pretty soon because it it is a s it is something that there there is a formula to help build it.
00:29:42.430 --> 00:29:48.029
Um there are ways to to enhance our confidence that I think everybody needs to do in here.
00:29:48.190 --> 00:29:51.310
Um it's one of those things, again, that's universal to all humans.
00:29:51.630 --> 00:30:01.390
But at the end of the day, if you get everything up we set up until now right, but you do not lead with confidence, and and I think a byproduct of confidence is presence.
00:30:01.550 --> 00:30:27.710
So having a certain presence about you, I think it'll be hard for people to follow you because I think when you lack confidence and you show that lack of confidence in your presence, the way you engage with people, the way you talk to people, the way you carry yourself, your inability to to uh speak honestly and truthfully, your inability to uh engage in difficult feedback, your inability to challenge people, stand up for yourself, fight for what you believe in, right?
00:30:27.950 --> 00:30:45.950
Your inability to do all those things, the people see that, that oozes out of you, and now you become somebody that they may like, you become somebody that they may want to be around, but you you you're not somebody they want to follow into battle because they don't believe you can actually succeed.
00:30:46.110 --> 00:30:47.470
So think about that for a second.
00:30:47.710 --> 00:30:51.070
If you don't have confidence in yourself, why in the hell would somebody have confidence in you?
00:30:51.230 --> 00:30:54.750
And if they don't have confidence in you, why would they follow you?
00:30:54.910 --> 00:30:58.350
Because you can't get them to the promised land anyway, because you can't get yourself there.
00:30:58.509 --> 00:31:03.950
So so confidence is a massive part of being a great leader, and it's something we all have to develop.
00:31:04.029 --> 00:31:06.509
And Isaiah, you and I see this a lot at Chick-fil-A's.
00:31:06.590 --> 00:31:19.710
We have young leaders when they get into a leadership role, they are very nervous to give feedback or or they carry themselves in a meek manner because they have a little bit of imposter syndrome or all the things that happen when we get promoted.
00:31:19.950 --> 00:31:22.590
Where have you seen that really show up at your in your leadership?
00:31:22.910 --> 00:31:26.990
Yeah, um, I think it's it's such a struggle with that generation.
00:31:27.470 --> 00:31:31.150
Like people will talk about self-confidence, like just confidence in general.
00:31:31.310 --> 00:31:34.509
It's such a buzzword that people literally just throw around and they're like, How do I build it?
00:31:34.590 --> 00:31:35.470
How do I build it?
00:31:35.630 --> 00:31:37.470
Um I I just want to be a confident person.
00:31:37.710 --> 00:31:55.310
It's like uh through through my experience um and through talking with a lot a lot of clients and then also people at Chick-fil-A, it's oftentimes people are not doing the work when they're either alone, um, when no one's watching whatever it is.
00:31:55.550 --> 00:32:05.470
Um and I uh people push back on that often, but when you really, really dig deep, it's they didn't put in the effort to actually learn whatever skill it was.
00:32:05.630 --> 00:32:13.470
Um they didn't listen to the podcast, they didn't read the book, um, they did not mean you don't have to, but they didn't take a class on it.
00:32:13.630 --> 00:32:20.750
Um, they did not research the the subject enough to learn about it, and that's where a large lack of confidence comes from.
00:32:20.910 --> 00:32:24.670
So you actually have to do the work to build all the confidence that you want to.
00:32:24.910 --> 00:32:30.830
I know that's a a wild thought, um, but so many people don't do it.
00:32:31.070 --> 00:32:37.710
Yeah, and we talk about we'll we'll break this down further when we do an episode on confidence, but you know, we always say confidence needs evidence.
00:32:37.950 --> 00:32:46.830
And you see these people who teach fake confidence like power posing and you know using body language to build your confidence, that may have a small, minute effect.
00:32:46.990 --> 00:32:47.789
The brain knows.
00:32:47.950 --> 00:32:50.750
Your brain keeps score, it knows when you're confident and when you're not.
00:32:50.990 --> 00:32:55.950
And the b so we talked about an imposture syndrome, which is the biggest thing that hurts our confidence.
00:32:56.110 --> 00:33:00.590
The big, biggest antidote antidote to imposture syndrome is preparation.
00:33:00.750 --> 00:33:04.350
So if you want to overcome impostor syndrome, to Isaiah's point, be prepared.
00:33:04.509 --> 00:33:05.870
Well, what does being prepared look like?
00:33:06.029 --> 00:33:10.430
Well, it depends on what you're trying to accomplish, but at a minimum, it's knowing your subject.
00:33:10.590 --> 00:33:15.470
I really see a lack of confidence in people when they have never learned how to lead.
00:33:15.630 --> 00:33:23.310
So you'll see people come into like the Chick-fil-A world as team members, and they don't have a lot of confidence because remember, confidence is situational as well.
00:33:23.550 --> 00:33:26.350
So we can be very confident in one area of our life and not in another.
00:33:26.590 --> 00:33:38.029
But you'll see people coming to Chick-fil-A and they're brand new team members and they have no confidence on how to do any of the operations that we need them to do, and then fast forward six months and they're supremely confident, right?
00:33:38.110 --> 00:33:45.630
They they, you know, and and at Chick-fil-A, we tend to bring a lot of confident people operationally because it's very hard, we're very busy, it's very intense.
00:33:45.789 --> 00:33:53.150
And once you can perform operations at Chick-fil-A under those conditions, tends to build your confidence, and rightfully so.
00:33:53.310 --> 00:33:54.430
And then we promote them.
00:33:54.590 --> 00:34:04.750
And now they gotta use a new skill, and that is human skills, communication skills, building influence, leadership, all the things we talk about, and their confidence plummets again.
00:34:04.910 --> 00:34:06.670
Here's the problem most companies have.
00:34:06.830 --> 00:34:10.269
We have a training protocol to get you ready for operations.
00:34:10.429 --> 00:34:14.349
We also happen to have a training protocol to get you ready for leadership, but most companies don't.
00:34:14.509 --> 00:34:20.349
So now they've been promoted and they're in a role where they need a new skill set, ain't nobody coming to teach them that skill set.
00:34:20.509 --> 00:34:25.949
And if that person's not taking the initiative to teach themselves, it's a recipe for very low confidence.
00:34:26.110 --> 00:34:30.190
And then what starts to happen is they start to question themselves, the apostrous syndrome gets worse.
00:34:30.269 --> 00:34:32.029
They start to think, am I cut out for leadership?
00:34:32.110 --> 00:34:33.469
Is this really what I should be doing?
00:34:33.710 --> 00:34:37.630
When all they had to do was develop themselves, learn, be educated.
00:34:37.789 --> 00:34:44.030
And obviously, all their company had to do was meet in the and meet them in the middle with those things as well, and it would have made a huge difference.
00:34:44.190 --> 00:34:48.590
But make no mistake, confidence is a massive part of building influence.
00:34:48.750 --> 00:34:59.630
Again, we'll do a different episode on that in the future, but I just encourage you to process that, really analyze yourself where, you know, in anything we talked about today.
00:34:59.789 --> 00:35:00.750
Where are you winning?
00:35:00.829 --> 00:35:01.630
Where are you losing?
00:35:01.789 --> 00:35:03.309
Where could you uplevel yourself?
00:35:03.389 --> 00:35:06.829
You know, are you a a a good relationship builder, or do you need to work on that?
00:35:07.070 --> 00:35:11.309
Do you understand how to build trust with the people around you, or do you need to work on that?
00:35:11.470 --> 00:35:14.030
Do you truly have a heart that loves to serve and care?
00:35:14.190 --> 00:35:17.550
That's a major one, you know, because you you I've said this in prior episodes.
00:35:17.710 --> 00:35:20.110
I hate the term servant leadership because it's redundant.
00:35:20.190 --> 00:35:21.550
You can't be a leader without service.
00:35:21.710 --> 00:35:24.430
So do you do those things well or do you need to grow in those areas?
00:35:24.590 --> 00:35:27.230
Do you truly care about your people enough to invest in them?
00:35:27.309 --> 00:35:28.349
Do you care about their goals?
00:35:28.510 --> 00:35:29.470
Do you know their goals?
00:35:29.630 --> 00:35:33.230
Do you even go to level two relationship building with them to learn their goals?
00:35:33.389 --> 00:35:34.590
Or do we need to work on that?
00:35:34.750 --> 00:35:36.110
And then the four C's.
00:35:36.190 --> 00:35:42.510
Where's your credibility, your ability to follow through, take ownership, be authentic, manage your emotions at a high level?
00:35:42.670 --> 00:35:46.909
Where are you at with your character, where are you at with your your confidence, right?
00:35:46.990 --> 00:35:48.430
Where you're at with your competence.
00:35:48.510 --> 00:35:51.950
And really do some soul searching because that is the path.
00:35:52.190 --> 00:35:53.309
We always talk about in coaching.
00:35:53.470 --> 00:35:55.230
All we can do as coaches is give you the path.
00:35:55.389 --> 00:35:56.750
We can't make you walk the path.
00:35:56.909 --> 00:35:58.269
We can't make you stay on the path.
00:35:58.430 --> 00:36:01.150
We can't make you not turn around and quit when it gets hard.
00:36:01.230 --> 00:36:02.430
We can't do any of that for you.
00:36:02.510 --> 00:36:03.789
But we can give you the path.
00:36:03.950 --> 00:36:05.950
And this is the path forward to influence.
00:36:06.030 --> 00:36:07.309
And influence is leadership.
00:36:07.389 --> 00:36:13.470
And if you do these things, I promise you, it will change everything, not just at work, but in every as uh facet of your life.
00:36:13.630 --> 00:36:15.150
So, Isaiah, wrap us up.
00:36:15.230 --> 00:36:18.670
Tell me what your your closing thoughts are on this and and and we'll kill it there.
00:36:18.909 --> 00:36:29.470
Yeah, if you take confidence as one of the C's and then you group together the other three C's, the way you build confidence is in partial being really, really good at the other three C's.
00:36:29.630 --> 00:36:29.869
Yes.
00:36:30.269 --> 00:36:36.430
And then the those three C's, if if if you're really good at confidence, then it helps the other three Cs.
00:36:36.590 --> 00:36:42.829
Uh you you're like, there's there's a difference, and you and I were talking about this the other day other day, Jason.
00:36:42.909 --> 00:36:49.710
Um, but they're like, yeah, guys, I I think we're probably gonna go with this plan versus, yep, we're gonna do this.
00:36:49.869 --> 00:36:51.869
Like those are two completely different things.
00:36:52.030 --> 00:36:54.110
They come across completely differently.
00:36:54.190 --> 00:36:58.990
Um, it affects how that plan is actually executed, um, all the things.
00:36:59.230 --> 00:37:04.269
But um when you have this this sense of confidence, so it has to be authentic.
00:37:04.430 --> 00:37:10.510
Um, if there is a hole in your confidence, then it will be found um every single time.
00:37:10.670 --> 00:37:13.950
So it can't be fake, it's got to be a hundred percent authentic.
00:37:14.030 --> 00:37:17.070
Um, but they they kind of work in harmony that way.
00:37:17.150 --> 00:37:19.309
They they they all come together.
00:37:19.470 --> 00:37:24.909
Um, but if you view it like that, confidence helps the other three C's, the three C's help confidence.
00:37:25.230 --> 00:37:27.150
Yep, they have a very symbiotic relationship.
00:37:27.309 --> 00:37:38.670
And and yeah, and when you have all those things, it changes the way you engage with people, how you communicate, your ability to look them in the eye, uh, your ability to speak convictedly, your your ability to be convicted in the first place.
00:37:38.829 --> 00:37:40.829
So there's just a lot of good that comes from that.
00:37:40.990 --> 00:37:42.670
And so I'll close with this, guys.
00:37:44.269 --> 00:37:48.269
All of the things we've talked about in these last three episodes take intentionality, right?
00:37:48.349 --> 00:37:49.550
These things don't just happen.
00:37:49.789 --> 00:37:52.990
So the first step and and being intentional is to be aware.
00:37:53.070 --> 00:38:03.550
And be aware of a what needs to happen to build your influence and and and and what is the current reality of where you are right now and where's the gap and what do you need to up level uh to get yourself there.
00:38:03.789 --> 00:38:09.070
But I talk about all the time the fact that that leadership is a way of thinking.
00:38:09.230 --> 00:38:10.269
It's a mindset.
00:38:10.430 --> 00:38:12.030
We don't just show up and lead well.
00:38:12.190 --> 00:38:14.030
We don't just show up and be great at it.
00:38:14.190 --> 00:38:18.190
Just like we don't just show up, you know, as as a kid and we're great at every sport.
00:38:18.349 --> 00:38:21.150
No, there's skills that go into those sports that we have to develop and build.
00:38:21.309 --> 00:38:22.510
Same thing with leadership.
00:38:22.670 --> 00:38:24.510
Well, in sports, we have to be intentional.
00:38:24.590 --> 00:38:29.869
We have to go to practice, we have to get lessons, we have to work on our own, we have to go to the gym and get bigger, stronger, faster.
00:38:30.030 --> 00:38:31.150
It takes intentionality.
00:38:31.309 --> 00:38:32.190
Same thing with leadership.
00:38:32.269 --> 00:38:35.789
So if you want to be great at these things, you can't snap your fingers and make it happen.
00:38:35.869 --> 00:38:40.670
You have to start attacking them one by one and being intentional about it, understanding how important it is.
00:38:40.829 --> 00:38:48.909
And if you do that for enough time, your little micro progressions will build on each other, and one day you'll wake up and you'll be the leader that you always wanted to have in your life.
00:38:49.070 --> 00:38:50.430
So with that, we'll wrap it up.
00:38:50.590 --> 00:38:51.630
Any closing thoughts, Isaiah?
00:38:51.789 --> 00:38:52.750
Amen to all that, brother.
00:38:52.909 --> 00:38:53.710
Amen to all that.
00:38:53.789 --> 00:38:55.389
I think you he lust it perfectly.
00:38:55.550 --> 00:38:56.030
All right, guys.
00:38:56.110 --> 00:39:00.349
Well, I appreciate that, and I appreciate you guys listening, and uh, we'll be back next week with a new episode.