477: Becoming

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Welcome to the Running Reconnected podcast, episode number 477.
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Today we're talking about becoming, and this episode was sparked by a couple recent conversations that we have been having with some of our clients inside of our membership.
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And I think it's something that all of us need to hear, and it applies to every single one of us, including Kevin and I.
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And so today we're talking about intentionally becoming the person that you want to be and the runner that you want to be, and how you know whether or not you're doing that intentionally or unintentionally, and how to fix it.
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So stay tuned.
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what's up, Kev?
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Welcome to...
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And what's up, listeners?
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Welcome back to the Running Reconnected podcast.
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Kevin, this is your first episode now that we've rebranded.
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I know.
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I, I got sick, you had an interview, I came back, and it's like we- we've moved all the furniture.
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We I mean, that's not that far off compared to things that have happened in our personal lives in the past.
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Kevin, you guys, is great.
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this is a total aside, but I am definitely the kind of person that just decides one day that I wanna, redo things, and he doesn't usually ask many questions.
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He's usually"Okay, what are we doing?" He, comes in, he's like,"What do you need my help with?
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What are we doing?" It- it's fantastic.
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You just jump right on board.
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No, when you decide there is going to be a big thing changing in the house, I've decided that I'm not getting anything done today.
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We're changing the house.
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That's- that is the plan for the day.
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Yeah.
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We haven't done that too recently.
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I guess with my office.
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So we've, we did it, that was just a few months ago maybe.
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What, six months ago maybe?
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Something like that.
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Yeah.
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I think a little less, but anyway.
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So today we're talking about becoming, Kevin.
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So when I first proposed this idea for the episode to you, I'm like,"I wanna do an episode about becoming," what was your first thought?
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Did you even know what I was talking about?
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Yeah, I just thought it sounded like a really broad topic.
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Yeah.
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I was like, okay, be- becoming in, in what, what direction are we taking this conversation?
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Yeah.
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Because you could go really wide on this.
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And I like the idea of intentionally becoming.
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Because we are all becoming at all times, but the idea is are you intentionally following a path that you'd like to be taking?
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Yeah.
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Or are you just kinda going with the flow and changing as, as the wind blows you?
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And I think that's really important for us to think about, because how often do we really think about this idea of becoming, of intentionally becoming the person or the runner that we want to be?
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And one of the things that sparked this for me as an idea for this week's podcast are just some recent conversations that we've been having with some of our clients inside the team.
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And I'm not gonna name any names, and if you guys are inside the team, you might, you probably understand who I'm talking about.
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and shout out to those amazing people for being open to coaching and all of the good things.
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And the questions that these people have asked and that we've had discussions about really are questions that are very universal that I have heard from so many people throughout the years, and from so many clients and other people throughout the year.
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Both people that I've coached and just friends or other people that I haven't been coaching.
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So- One of the things that s- there, there's a couple questions.
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one of them is, this whole idea of, do you think I can really do this?
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And then the other question was, I don't know how much I'm going to be able to fit in when I'm out of town.
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And so those are what sparked the questions for this episode.
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But I think it's first important, before we dive into what we said and how we answered those questions, to really get clear on this idea of becoming.
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'Cause like you just said, Kevin, becoming is always happening, and I don't know how many of us are actually thinking about that and realizing that this is what's constantly going on in our life.
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We don't just arrive one day at a finished version of ourselves.
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Life is this constant process of becoming, of growing and evolving and shedding old versions of ourselves and building new ones.
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It never stops.
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And I don't know how many people really think about it that way versus, this is just who I am.
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this is m- this is me.
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I'm this person.
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This is the person that I have always been, this is the person I will always be," and that's, it's more of just this persona that is fixed and set in stone.
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Yeah, and one that you can, you can mold around the edges Like you can make small tweaks to it- Yeah but the core of who you are is a fixed position, and then you can slightly adjust, contours on the outside.
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which is not true.
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you could completely overhaul and go in a completely different direction down your life.
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the people that are like,"You know what?
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Brand new job.
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I'm quitting this job and going a completely different direction." You don't have to be like,"All right.
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I've always had this job.
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What if I had a job that was slightly adjacent to it?" you could just veer, and you can do this- in all areas of your life.
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You can make- Yeah a massive veer.
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It's allowed, but most people are like, I could take a small step from where I am." The bigger leap in a different direction is a far more frightening proposition.
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and I think that it's important to realize that we are all constantly becoming.
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The problem that I often see, and this is the same problem that I've had in the past before I made this realization as well, is that most people are becoming, but they're doing it unintentionally.
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They're just allowing their circumstances to dictate who they are and how they act and what is possible for them.
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So the job that they've had, that shapes them.
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The relationship that they have, the marriage, that shapes them.
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Who they are in their family unit, that shapes them.
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The injury in your running, that shapes you, or the pain, that chronic pain that you've had for a very long time, that just becomes a part of who you are.
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And they allow all of these external circumstances to just shape them and dictate the person that they are, or their past circumstances to dictate them.
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And so many people never actually stop to ask themselves,"Is this the person that I'm choosing to be?
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Am I choosing this intentionally, or am I just like you said, going with the flow and just becoming this person that I'm not really choosing?"
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Yeah, and I- it's the, the sort of label that you've put on yourself for so long.
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like middle child syndrome.
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When people are in their 40s, they can probably get over the idea of middle child syndrome.
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Yeah.
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That, that has a bigger aspect when you're dealing with, five, seven, and nine.
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Sure, you're a middle child, and there's gonna be some attributes of it.
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But when you're dealing with 45, 47, 49, I think y- maybe you could leave that behind.
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Maybe that is a label that you could shed,
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maybe not.
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I'm, I- I'll ask my
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sister.
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I did not name names.
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I just- I
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know, but I'm an eldest- theoretically I'm an eldest daughter, and I feel like that very much has shaped who I am, and there's definitely personality traits that come with that.
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But like you said, I then choose if I'm gonna continue those personality traits or if I'm going to try to shift them.
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So I think as runners, it can show up in a lot of different ways a- as well, right?
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unintentional becoming as runners could be staying in that same training rut because this is just what I do, or i- I've been running half-marathons for the last decade.
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I guess I'm just gonna keep running half-marathons.
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It could be, not signing up for a race because I'm not someone that races, or I'm not somebody that does that kind of thing.
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It can ask,"Do you think that I can do this?" Instead of deciding,"I'm going to do this.
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Help me figure out how." It's-
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Yeah, because that do you think I can- Yeah takes all of the burden off of yourself.
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Yeah.
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if you ask somebody else,"Hey, do you think this is possible?" And they say yes, and it doesn't go through, it automatically gives you a person to blame.
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If you choose, this is what I'm gonna do.
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This is the route I'm going down," and it doesn't work well, okay, one, it doesn't mean that you've made it to the end of that route.
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That- that's in all likelihood what's happened.
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If you're like, I'm gonna be a marathoner now," and you go to your first marathon and you DNF the thing, that doesn't mean you're not a marathoner.
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That means you didn't make it to the finish line of that race.
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Yeah.
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That just means that path is further, but you've gotta keep going down that thing.
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But a lot of people are like,"Do you think that's even something I could try?" Gives them an external person that if it doesn't play out right- they could then point to that person.
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I think that unintentional allows, allows you to say that there are these external circumstances, and my success is caused by those.
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So I need all of everything to line up correct in the outside world for me to be able to do anything correctly
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Maybe.
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And I, but I also think it, it can be a lack of belief in yourself, and so you're looking for that belief from other people.
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And I think, this is one of the questions that spurred this episode, is we got this question on our coaching call, I don't know, in, within the past couple of weeks, from one of our members that specifically asked me,"Do you think I can do this?""Here's the...
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I have this race coming up, and then I have a race coming up a couple months later.
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Do you think that I'll be able to improve my time?" And I looked at the person and I said,"100% I think you can.
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there's no doubt that I think that you can do this." But there's so many times that has happened in the past.
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I r- I can think of and remember specific other members asking, thinking that they wanna sign up for a race, they wanna try their first ultra, they wanna do their first half-marathon, and just asking,"Do you think that I can do this?" And I don't think it's necessarily that they want someone to blame if it doesn't go well, I just think that they haven't developed that belief in themself yet because they use their past circumstances to determine what is possible in the future.
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And that's actually a conversation we had, inside of our membership as well this week, is where are you us- where are you making your decisions from?
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Are you using your past to determine your future, or are you making your decisions from your future to help you figure out what to do now?
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But that's not really what we're talking about right now, but that's another great conversation to have.
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I think it's just that this idea of, is it okay for me to have this desire?
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Is it okay for me to want more?
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Is it okay for me to dream bigger and believe that this thing is possible for me right now?
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And any time anyone asks me that, my answer is always yes, because I truly believe that if you have a desire, a real desire to do something, then the possibility is already there.
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And sometimes people just need someone else to believe in them and to tell them that thing is possible for them to then borrow that belief and start to believe it themselves.
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Yeah.
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Borrowed belief is great.
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And you are wonderful at providing that.
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It, it did create a challenge when I decided that I was gonna change and start running 100-mile races- instead of 26-mile races, because you fully believed I could do it.
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Yeah.
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I'm not sure how much of you wanted me to do it from a health perspective.
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Yeah.
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And so you had this weird combo of, supporting me, fully believing that I was capable of it, but also thinking,"But m- maybe he'll start trying it and he just won't like it."
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Yeah.
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And then he'll stop doing that."
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And here we are four later, and you're still going.
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Yeah, I know, and you're looking things up on a calendar.
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I know, but that's later in our discussion.
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So I truly believe that, and I want all of you to hear, if you have a question in your mind right now, if you are considering doing something in your running life or just in your regular life as well that is outside of what you're currently capable of, maybe you've never done that thing before Maybe it's a race distance, maybe it's a PR that you'd really like to hit, maybe you're just shooting for something big in your life.
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If you have that desire, that thing is already a possibility for you.
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You just have to take the right steps to get there and allow yourself the right timeline,'cause that's another big thing that a lot of people get wrong, is the timeline.
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They try to rush the timeline to get to those results as quickly as possible, and when they don't w- achieve that thing, then they say,"Oh look, it's not possible." And then they use that as evidence and proof that thing is not possible, when in reality, maybe they just didn't give themselves a long enough runway.
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Yeah, almost always it's the lack of runway.
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Of,"Here's a huge goal I'd like to achieve, and I'd like to do it in the next three months."
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Yeah.
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If it's a super huge, I-don't-know-if-this-is-possible, I-have-to-borrow-somebody-else's-belief-style goal-
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Yeah
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a 90-day window is probably not correct timeline.
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So that, that does make it a little tricky, and that's, so often with our high school cross-country kids, they come up with goals and they're like,"Coach, do you think this is possible?" I'm like, yes, but that's mainly because you're a freshman." And in theory, we've got four years of working together, so yes, I think that goal is possible.
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I'm not sure that goal is possible in the next two months that we have of this season- but this is a goal that you should still have in mind."
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yeah.
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And so I think that's really important if that's you, right?
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in this process of becoming, believing in the possibility of the f- person that you want to become, of the thing that you want to b- to achieve, is vital.
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Because without belief and without an intentional decision to do that thing and to become that person, then it won't be possible, right?
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But you have to have that belief, even if it's a sliver of a belief that you can then water, like a little seed, right?
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a little belief seed.
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You can plant that seed and you can water it with time and with consistency, and you can show yourself every single week that you go out and you get those miles in, every single strength tr- training session that you do, you're building and you're watering that seed, and you're building that belief in yourself that thing is possible.
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And you're intentionally becoming the person that is going to be able to achieve the goal that you want to achieve.
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You're not just going to automatically become that person.
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But it is a very conscious, intentional decision at the beginning.
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Yeah, no, very conscious because you can't just have a belief in your goal and then not put in the steps to get there.
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It's
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"Here's the goal that I want, and I'm gonna think about it really hard." that's not- Yeah how manifesting works.
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you can't just think really hard about the goal and then never do actual physical steps in the real world.
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Yeah.
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The goal's not coming.
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The goal's not coming just'cause you want it badly enough.
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That's just not how it works.
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If you want it badly enough, it will spur actual actions in the real world.
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But you're right, you have to have that belief first, otherwise why bother doing the actions?
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And then the second coaching conversation that we had that spurred this episode was a member of ours that is going to be away from home for an extended period of time, and she was go- she's going away for a few months, and during our coaching call she was very uncertain and said, I'm just not sure what I will be able to get in during this time." And she's very, she was talking about all the things that she was gonna be doing while she was away, and the circumstances are real, right?
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The, she's gonna be in a different location, a different schedule, a different environment with s- less control over everything.
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But I challenged her on that call, and like I normally do because whenever I see somebody coming in with like this limited belief in what's possible, I like to just challenge it.
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I'm not, and I never tell people that they're wrong, but I just ask questions to help them start to think about things in a different light.
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And the framing here w- was the issue.
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Sh- in her mind, she was gonna go into this situation and she was prepared to let the circumstances decide.
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I don't know what I will be able to get in because I'm not sure what my days are gonna look like, and I'm not sure this, and I'm not sure that, and so I'll just be able, I'll s- kinda have to get in whatever I'm able to get in.
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And that means that when, if she was going into that circumstance with that mindset, then the circumstances were always going to win, right?
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She was already putting the circumstances as the driver of whatever it is she was going to be able to do.
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And so I just questioned her and I said,"Well- What if you decided ahead of time, right?
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you're gonna be, in this other location, yes, but what can you control?
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What time will you have?
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because can you decide ahead of time what you want your training to look like?
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And if that means that you w- want your training to take a backseat so that you can spend more time with your family, that's fine.
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Just make that decision consciously and intentionally.
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if you want to put things, cut back on your mileage, cut back on your strength training, if that's the intentional decision that you want, totally fine.
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But just make that decision ahead of time versus going into those, that time period just saying, I'll just get in whatever I can."
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Yeah, this happens to me very often if we go on vacation.
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Where I'm always like,"Hey, I'll see if, I'll see if I can fit anything in." And you're like,"No, which- Yeah,
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you drive me crazy.
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I know.
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But you always respond with,"Which days do you want to run?" Or sometimes you'll say,"How many days do you wanna run?
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We're gonna be gone for seven.
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How many of those days would you like to run?" and we've had different podcasts on a topic like this, and it's like, I would like to do six of them, but I don't think that is going to work given the scenario.
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I'm willing to lower it- and still be happy if I got in four." And so then it's like, okay, now, how do we fit in four?
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And if, then we're in the, the scenario where the circumstances can maybe they provide, maybe they don't.
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But if I get, I block out four, and then if the circumstances work out that I can get a fifth, that's a bonus.
00:17:43.400 --> 00:17:50.289
Didn't start from, I'm gonna start at zero, and every day I'll just see if things drop in my lap where I can go out and get in a run.
00:17:50.289 --> 00:17:52.980
Because there's always gonna be something that comes up-
00:17:53.049 --> 00:17:53.329
Yeah
00:17:53.339 --> 00:17:57.480
where you can be doing something rather than heading out the door and getting your run.
00:17:57.730 --> 00:17:58.730
There's always something.
00:17:58.779 --> 00:18:03.319
yeah, especially when you're not at home or you're on vacation or you're doing other things, you have a different schedule.
00:18:03.559 --> 00:18:23.849
But there's a big difference between I'll see what I can get in, which is a very, passive, led by the circumstances, low-accountability way to approach the situation, and it almost always produces less than possible, less than what's possible, versus I've decided I'm going to do X, and I'll adjust as needed.
00:18:23.859 --> 00:18:27.319
Because like you said, everything, we have to be flexible.
00:18:27.319 --> 00:18:28.710
We can't be rigid with it.
00:18:28.710 --> 00:18:44.266
Because if you go into a circumstance like a vacation, and we've all, had things where we've gone on vacation, we've decided, if we're gonna work out or if we're not gonna work out, if we're running, if we're training And things don't usually go exactly the way we want them to.
00:18:44.726 --> 00:18:49.205
Even if you had a plan, maybe you wake up and it's lightning outside, right?
00:18:49.205 --> 00:18:51.756
And like that, that happened to us when we were in the mountains.
00:18:52.046 --> 00:18:57.986
There was, there were storms outside, and all of a sudden you were planning on going for a run, but y- you couldn't because there was lightning.
00:18:57.996 --> 00:18:58.846
It wasn't just rain.
00:18:58.846 --> 00:18:59.455
There was lightning.
00:18:59.455 --> 00:19:01.346
You can't go out and be unsafe like that.
00:19:02.105 --> 00:19:09.826
And so you make the decision ahead of time of this is what I'm going to do, and I'm going to adjust if I need to and not be mad about it.
00:19:09.836 --> 00:19:41.905
Because when you're so rigid and you're holding on with like a death grip onto your training plan and things don't go r- the way you plan them to, which they often don't, then there's anger, there's disappointment, there's all sorts of other negative emotions that are not necessary for you to experience versus that flex- having that flexibility that's going to allow you to like,"Okay, I'm just not, it's not gonna work out today, but I'm gonna make sure that I get it in tomorrow, and I'm, here's how I'm going to adjust if weather doesn't cooperate or if this doesn't cooperate." you can have a backup plan, too.
00:19:42.625 --> 00:19:50.895
Yeah, but there's a difference between the plan and the adjustment and the backup plan, and I love the, the metaphor that you have here.
00:19:51.195 --> 00:19:57.115
Literally handing the pen to your circumstances and allowing them to write whatever story comes to you.
00:19:57.215 --> 00:20:02.465
And then you look down, you read the story, you're like,"That's not the story I wanted to write." then maybe you should have been holding onto the pen.
00:20:02.986 --> 00:20:05.195
you don't have to y- it's not a death grip on the pen.
00:20:05.516 --> 00:20:10.996
but you've got an idea of the story, and maybe that chapter works its way into a few extra pages.
00:20:11.046 --> 00:20:12.865
But you're still holding the pen.
00:20:13.296 --> 00:20:13.546
Yeah.
00:20:13.675 --> 00:20:20.306
as soon as you give up full control of the pen, you can no longer complain about the story being written.
00:20:20.596 --> 00:20:22.115
Yeah, and I think that's the difference, right?
00:20:22.115 --> 00:20:35.346
Of whether or not you let your circumstances decide who you're becoming and what you're training for and what you're capable of, or deciding ahead of time and saying,"Okay, this is what I'm doing," and then of course I'll adjust if I need to.
00:20:35.715 --> 00:20:40.056
And I think this is, a good time to really talk about our own becoming, right?
00:20:40.086 --> 00:20:43.276
because you and I have both made these decisions in the past.
00:20:43.566 --> 00:20:45.205
I'd love for you to talk about your decision.
00:20:45.205 --> 00:20:50.476
you started to, you touched on it already a little bit, of becoming an ultra-marathoner, right?
00:20:50.476 --> 00:20:51.976
you were someone that's run...
00:20:51.976 --> 00:21:04.726
Y- you have been someone that has run your entire life since you were 14 years old, and for a while you were a certain kind of runner, and then you decided to run marathons, and then you decided from marathons you were gonna become an ultra-marathon runner.
00:21:04.925 --> 00:21:08.375
And not just an ultra-marathon runner, someone that ran 100 miles, right?
00:21:08.385 --> 00:21:10.526
There's a lot of distances in between there that you skipped.
00:21:13.056 --> 00:21:22.195
I ran several of those distances, but the first time that I stuck, a number on my chest and said,"Yeah, ultra" I jumped from 26 to 100.
00:21:22.246 --> 00:21:23.286
S- I did the...
00:21:23.336 --> 00:21:29.846
I have a finish line,'cause our daughter made me one of the, like, neighborhood 50K, and I think I did a neighborhood 50-miler.
00:21:29.935 --> 00:21:30.296
Yeah.
00:21:30.586 --> 00:21:32.286
I have the finish lines hanging in my classroom.
00:21:32.625 --> 00:21:37.715
But yeah, it was a, a complete change, and I had to take more control over the circumstances.
00:21:37.715 --> 00:21:48.556
You helped me with that one, because you said on my opening, ultra, there was, like, Key West was gonna be late spring was the timeline on that race.
00:21:48.635 --> 00:21:56.415
And you were like,"There's no way that you can take care of yourself, put in the training you need to, and coach the track seas- coach during the track season."
00:21:56.476 --> 00:21:56.816
Yeah.
00:21:57.625 --> 00:21:58.605
And so it was like it...
00:21:58.645 --> 00:22:00.226
And you were completely right.
00:22:00.425 --> 00:22:06.836
that lineup did not make any sense, so I had to adjust the circumstances because I literally couldn't...
00:22:06.986 --> 00:22:14.526
I could not train with the idea of, oh, I'll fit things in around practice when it works out, because that's not going to play out.
00:22:14.726 --> 00:22:16.655
I could get in some miles.
00:22:16.705 --> 00:22:23.346
I could reasonably train for a 5K trying to fit things in- and run during practice sometimes, whatnot.
00:22:23.346 --> 00:22:26.955
But you're like,"No, you are gonna run 100 miles in this-" And
00:22:26.955 --> 00:22:28.596
you've never done it before either.
00:22:28.625 --> 00:22:28.655
You've
00:22:28.705 --> 00:22:28.976
never
00:22:28.976 --> 00:22:29.026
done it.
00:22:29.026 --> 00:22:37.685
that, that was the other big piece of that one, because you had never done it before, so you genuinely don't even know what this training is like or how your body's going to respond to it.
00:22:38.375 --> 00:22:41.355
And I think that was the biggest, is how is your body gonna respond to it?
00:22:41.736 --> 00:22:51.261
And- I had looked more into what that training was gonna look like, and I'm like, it- I don't think it's gonna be that massively different than training for a marathon.
00:22:51.801 --> 00:22:57.692
It's just that my training block was gonna be a little bit longer than I normally put in for, a marathon-specific training block.
00:22:57.932 --> 00:22:57.971
But
00:22:58.362 --> 00:22:58.811
you're right.
00:22:58.811 --> 00:23:04.251
I had to take control of the circumstances and not just be like,"All right, I'll fit it in around, around track practice."
00:23:04.301 --> 00:23:04.612
Yeah.
00:23:04.622 --> 00:23:08.291
And I think that's something that people- are sometimes unwilling to do, right?
00:23:08.301 --> 00:23:12.692
They wanna try to fit in these big goals and not change their life.
00:23:12.701 --> 00:23:23.132
they wanna be able to go out and run marathons and set PRs, but they still wanna be go- going out to the bars with their friends on Friday nights, and if you're, over the age of 22, that just doesn't work out.
00:23:23.132 --> 00:23:24.211
That
00:23:24.211 --> 00:23:29.221
is, that is totally correct, but the same thing happens as soon as you start having kids and you're like-
00:23:29.321 --> 00:23:29.551
Yeah
00:23:29.622 --> 00:23:39.892
Okay, I need to get up early and do my training, but I was up..." if you got little kids, I got up twice during the night, and now I'm supposed to get up at 5:00 when my alarm goes off?
00:23:39.932 --> 00:23:41.991
I just went to bed at 4:00." Yeah.
00:23:42.102 --> 00:23:44.241
that is a tough training schedule.
00:23:44.251 --> 00:23:47.622
So do you need to adjust your training goals then?
00:23:48.491 --> 00:23:49.973
it might not be the time to be chasing PRs.
00:23:50.023 --> 00:23:52.683
Or, if you have teenagers that decide that they...
00:23:52.723 --> 00:23:53.703
I shouldn't s- say decide.
00:23:53.973 --> 00:24:03.814
Teenagers that are very busy with extracurricular activities, they've got school and extracurriculars, and then they have to come home and do homework, and then you wanna have a little bit of time with them.
00:24:03.814 --> 00:24:09.223
You wanna connect with them a little bit, and then all of a sudden, the time to talk to them is, 10:00 PM, 10:30 at night.
00:24:10.084 --> 00:24:16.153
It's time, now it's time to have emotional talks with them and stay up till 11:00, 11:30.
00:24:16.213 --> 00:24:17.604
there's things that need to be adjusted.
00:24:17.614 --> 00:24:20.604
Again, but those are, those can be conscious decisions, too.
00:24:21.074 --> 00:24:22.044
it's a conscious decision.
00:24:22.423 --> 00:24:24.923
do you wanna spend the time talking to your teenager-
00:24:25.203 --> 00:24:25.713
Yes
00:24:25.794 --> 00:24:29.584
or do you want to get in that extra hour of sleep-
00:24:29.644 --> 00:24:29.993
Yeah
00:24:30.153 --> 00:24:31.874
because you're getting up at 5:00 the next morning?
00:24:32.003 --> 00:24:34.334
And- Yeah, and I think it, it changes, right?
00:24:34.334 --> 00:24:37.564
it can change day to day of, of- It can change what that decision is.
00:24:37.663 --> 00:24:39.713
But it has to be a conscious decision.
00:24:39.804 --> 00:24:43.634
Otherwise, you're gonna be upset that the decision's getting made for you.
00:24:43.894 --> 00:24:55.913
And whichever thing you're choosing to skip, if you're not choosing it, if you're like, you stay up, and then you still get up in the morning, and you're exhausted, and the run goes terrible, or you're just like,"You know what?
00:24:55.913 --> 00:24:56.894
Go to bed whenever you go to bed.
00:24:56.933 --> 00:25:03.864
I'm gonna go to bed," and then you get up and you feel fine on your run, but the whole time on your run, you're thinking about the conversation you didn't have the night before.
00:25:03.943 --> 00:25:04.263
Yeah.
00:25:04.564 --> 00:25:09.673
You have to choose which thing you're going to do- and y- it's probably not both.
00:25:09.874 --> 00:25:10.163
Yeah.
00:25:10.894 --> 00:25:12.294
Take control of the decision.
00:25:12.443 --> 00:25:18.584
Yeah, and that's my becoming a mom right now, and becoming a good mom, becoming the mom that I want to be.
00:25:18.923 --> 00:25:20.273
It's constantly changing, right?
00:25:20.273 --> 00:25:23.663
This whole idea of becoming is a constant evolution.
00:25:23.973 --> 00:25:33.054
Becoming a mom and becoming a good mom to five-year-olds, a five-year-old and an eight-year-old looks much different than a 14-year-old and a 17-year-old.
00:25:33.364 --> 00:25:42.163
And I have to constantly be changing of, what my definition of a good mom is, and what kind of time commitment and things that I'm putting into this, too.
00:25:42.163 --> 00:25:43.983
And this actually just happened to me last week.
00:25:44.523 --> 00:25:54.594
I was having one of these nighttime conversations with our daughter, and it was late at night, and I had a run the next morning, and I decided I was gonna do both.
00:25:54.634 --> 00:26:09.614
I was going to stay up and talk to her in the way that I needed to, and I knew I was gonna be tired the next morning, but I also decided that I, after that run, I did have some time in my morning before work started that I would be able to get in a little nap, and that's what I did.
00:26:09.933 --> 00:26:11.544
So that was an intentional choice.
00:26:11.544 --> 00:26:23.692
I was gonna be able to stay up with her If my run suffered the next morning, I was gonna be okay with it, and then I was gonna come home and take a l- a short nap to try to recharge myself, and then go o- go about my day, right?
00:26:23.731 --> 00:26:29.491
Or there's gonna be other times where I'm going to choose to stay up with her and forego my early morning run.
00:26:29.501 --> 00:26:39.352
Or like you said, decide I'm not gonna spend as much time in her room, and I'm going to go to bed instead because the, maybe I have a, a longer run or a harder run coming up.
00:26:39.942 --> 00:26:48.231
And I think that as long as we can make those choices consciously and intentionally, then we can release the guilt that comes along with it, or at least most of it
00:26:48.715 --> 00:26:55.905
That's, I think that's the thing, is make the decision, and then once you've decided, there's no reason to then dwell on this, the decision.
00:26:55.905 --> 00:26:56.226
Yeah.
00:26:56.526 --> 00:26:58.776
And I think it's the dwelling where the guilt comes.
00:26:59.026 --> 00:27:03.546
You make the decision, you weighed both sides- Yeah and you're like,"This is the decision that's gonna get made."
00:27:03.605 --> 00:27:07.586
Yeah, and then you came in and you were like, you were annoyed,'cause you like wanted to go to bed.
00:27:07.596 --> 00:27:08.605
And I'm like, go ahead, babe.
00:27:08.605 --> 00:27:09.046
Go to bed.
00:27:09.066 --> 00:27:09.615
we're good.
00:27:09.665 --> 00:27:10.165
We're good here."
00:27:10.175 --> 00:27:10.566
I know.
00:27:10.665 --> 00:27:21.665
I was sick, and I wanted to go to bed, but I didn't wanna be like in there asleep when you came back to bed, and"All right, at least he got to sleep." so I felt bad about that, but I also just felt like just awful all last week.
00:27:21.885 --> 00:27:22.385
Yeah.
00:27:22.385 --> 00:27:25.006
So- But also, I wasn't gonna be upset with you, right?
00:27:25.006 --> 00:27:29.645
So you had made up this story in your head that I was going to be annoyed that you didn't come save me.
00:27:29.955 --> 00:27:30.476
Obviously.
00:27:30.625 --> 00:27:32.236
But that's exactly where I wanted to be.
00:27:32.506 --> 00:27:32.826
Yeah.
00:27:32.875 --> 00:27:37.566
But we all make up whatever story in our head, and it usually fits our own best narrative.
00:27:37.746 --> 00:27:38.395
Not anybody else's.
00:27:38.685 --> 00:27:39.586
It fits ours.
00:27:39.715 --> 00:27:48.806
I was g- I was going to stay up and wait for you to come to bed, and so I was going to help, like relieve you of the conversation so we could all get to sleep.
00:27:48.955 --> 00:27:50.395
N- none of that needed to be happening.
00:27:50.476 --> 00:27:50.796
No.
00:27:51.026 --> 00:27:51.145
No.
00:27:51.145 --> 00:27:52.965
I just needed to close my eyes and go to bed.
00:27:53.026 --> 00:27:58.326
No, and then you came in and made a comment, and caused a new spiral that lasted another 15 minutes.
00:27:58.586 --> 00:28:00.086
Yeah, no, I made everything worse.
00:28:00.435 --> 00:28:02.885
And ultimately, I ended up going to sleep.
00:28:03.046 --> 00:28:07.665
a- and so the end of it was- when you came to bed, I was completely asleep.
00:28:07.905 --> 00:28:13.246
I screwed it up, and I still got to the same decision of by the time you came to bed, I was passed out,
00:28:13.556 --> 00:28:14.125
All good.
00:28:14.296 --> 00:28:15.125
All good.
00:28:15.125 --> 00:28:16.486
But I think it's just important, right?
00:28:16.536 --> 00:28:20.605
there's lots of decisions I've made in my life about who I wanted to become.
00:28:20.605 --> 00:28:36.355
when I made the decision to become a business owner, I decided, I should say that, that came after wanting to be a mom and wanting to be a good mom, and then deciding what kind of a mom I wanted to be and what kind of- Yeah lifestyle I wanted to provide for our kids, and how available I wanted to be for them.
00:28:36.685 --> 00:28:44.846
That was one of the decisions that led me to want to become a business owner, along with my other desires to help more people and have more freedom.
00:28:45.276 --> 00:28:47.395
but I had to make those decisions ahead of time.
00:28:47.425 --> 00:28:53.925
when I cho- chose to kinda transfer from in-person PT to online coaching, that was a shift for me, too.
00:28:53.925 --> 00:28:59.786
But a- all- again, all of these different things were intentional decisions of who I wanted to become.
00:29:00.076 --> 00:29:05.105
I made that decision, and then the actions followed after that, not the other way around.
00:29:05.105 --> 00:29:09.195
And then those i- actions then reinforce the person that you're becoming.
00:29:09.195 --> 00:29:19.096
I think that's really important, because a lot of times people think that they're not becoming a person until they're doing the actions of that person, when it of- oftentimes is the opposite.
00:29:19.096 --> 00:29:25.132
Like you make that decision first And then the actions flow from that decision that you made.
00:29:25.372 --> 00:29:32.451
one of the new things that I've decided is that I want to be a trail runner, and I really like trail running.
00:29:32.682 --> 00:29:37.491
W- we went on that mountain run in North Carolina, and I've been wanting to be, do more trails.
00:29:37.842 --> 00:29:46.872
but my circumstances, my current circumstances of living in South Florida, and we live in an area where there's not a ton of trails around us.
00:29:46.872 --> 00:29:52.241
There's some walking paths and stuff, but they're, a lot of them are less than a mile long.
00:29:52.241 --> 00:29:58.001
So I'd have to do a lot of loops on those trails if I were gonna use those as running paths.
00:29:58.031 --> 00:30:00.865
But I decided I wanna do this.
00:30:00.885 --> 00:30:14.796
And so I've gotta figure out how to make that happen because I feel like this is something that has been on my heart that I, hasn't really gone away, and so I'm gonna decide first, and now I get to figure out how to make that happen.
00:30:15.496 --> 00:30:21.125
Yeah, I like that you used the phrase,"There's not a lot." There are no running trails near us.
00:30:21.185 --> 00:30:22.086
Yeah, it's not...
00:30:22.266 --> 00:30:25.846
there's that one area, but it's sugar sand, in the scrub.
00:30:25.885 --> 00:30:26.695
not a running trail.
00:30:26.705 --> 00:30:31.715
Yeah, it's not a, it's not a co- not a very good, not conducive to trail running.
00:30:31.935 --> 00:30:34.865
it's not really a running trail- Yeah and it's remarkably short.
00:30:35.036 --> 00:30:35.395
Yeah,
00:30:35.556 --> 00:30:38.796
So there, there just aren't really running trails by us.
00:30:38.885 --> 00:30:41.566
Yeah, we'd have to, I'd have to drive, and I think that's a big piece of it, right?
00:30:41.566 --> 00:30:47.286
I can't just get up and head out the door and hit a trail within a couple minutes, within 10 to 15 minutes.
00:30:47.286 --> 00:30:50.056
I'd have to actually drive and make an outing of it.
00:30:50.536 --> 00:30:54.655
Which, I always am like,"Oh, man, that was so nice when I lived in Calif-..." Yeah.
00:30:55.316 --> 00:31:00.506
No, like a quarter mile from my parents' house, I could get into a very, very small park.
00:31:00.516 --> 00:31:03.905
And I could do loops inside of this park, but that loop is, a half mile.
00:31:04.246 --> 00:31:08.496
If I ever wanted to do actual trail running, I still had to get into a car and drive.
00:31:08.546 --> 00:31:09.576
I didn't have to drive that far.
00:31:09.576 --> 00:31:10.935
I could drive a couple of miles.
00:31:11.006 --> 00:31:13.925
But to go to my favorite trails, I had to drive 30 minutes.
00:31:14.115 --> 00:31:18.316
Which is a trail that, that I've still never taken you on, and we've gone to California many times.
00:31:18.685 --> 00:31:19.576
Thanks a lot
00:31:19.965 --> 00:31:23.776
I, I mention it almost every trip, and then we end up in Tahoe instead.
00:31:25.506 --> 00:31:27.685
So which also beautiful trails up there.
00:31:27.685 --> 00:31:27.726
Also
00:31:27.726 --> 00:31:28.195
good.
00:31:28.566 --> 00:31:33.586
but yeah, it's, it's going to be an interesting journey of you becoming a, a, a trail runner.
00:31:33.865 --> 00:31:39.846
and it's gonna have to be a very conscious decision to go out of your way to find trails to run.
00:31:39.976 --> 00:31:46.476
Yeah, and take the time that it's going to do for that as well, and that's similar to your decision to become an ultra-marathoner, don't you think?
00:31:47.195 --> 00:31:47.615
Yeah.
00:31:47.665 --> 00:31:55.826
There's, when training for a marathon, there was always a weekend long run, and when training for an ultra, when it gets ramped up, there are double weekend long runs.
00:31:56.026 --> 00:32:00.155
It's like, all right, I'm gonna go on a 20-miler, and then I'm gonna go on another 20-miler tomorrow.
00:32:00.476 --> 00:32:02.586
that's just a, that is a whole different time commitment.
00:32:02.695 --> 00:32:03.086
Yeah.
00:32:03.326 --> 00:32:15.256
And when people start getting into these, if the do you think I can goal is a distance they've never covered, part of what that is how am I possibly going to fit that training- into my current schedule?
00:32:15.455 --> 00:32:20.496
Like, where am I gonna come up with these extra three to five hours during the week?
00:32:20.556 --> 00:32:20.826
Which,
00:32:21.046 --> 00:32:26.605
which is tricky and you have to actually put the conscious effort of how am I going to find that time?
00:32:26.605 --> 00:32:28.215
Where is that time coming from?
00:32:28.336 --> 00:32:31.352
Yeah, and again- It starts with a decision, right?
00:32:31.352 --> 00:32:33.781
And this is what intentional becoming actually looks like.
00:32:33.791 --> 00:32:35.041
it starts with a decision.
00:32:35.041 --> 00:32:38.251
It doesn't start with a plan or a goal or a resolution.
00:32:38.251 --> 00:32:43.902
It's just one simple decision about who you are and who you're choosing to become in this process.
00:32:43.902 --> 00:32:46.642
it might start with"Oh, I want to do that thing.
00:32:46.662 --> 00:32:52.011
Oh, I wanna run a half marathon." In order to run a half marathon, you have to become an ult- or a half marathoner, right?
00:32:52.011 --> 00:32:56.001
In order to run 100 miles, you have to become an ultra-marathoner.
00:32:56.001 --> 00:33:01.642
In order for me to do a trail race, I have to become a trail runner before I actually do that race.
00:33:01.842 --> 00:33:05.662
And so that decision precedes the capability.
00:33:05.672 --> 00:33:11.731
you're not actually capable of the thing when you make the decision, and that's the interesting part of all of this, right?
00:33:11.741 --> 00:33:14.112
You don't wait until you feel ready.
00:33:14.122 --> 00:33:18.382
You just decide, and then readiness has to follow from that.
00:33:19.271 --> 00:33:19.852
Yes.
00:33:20.211 --> 00:33:20.571
Yeah.
00:33:20.632 --> 00:33:25.791
That one's a lot of the, jump and build the parachute on the way down.
00:33:25.791 --> 00:33:25.976
Is that the-
00:33:25.976 --> 00:33:27.571
Yeah, or jump and the net will appear.
00:33:27.582 --> 00:33:28.551
That's the other one, too.
00:33:28.622 --> 00:33:29.961
Yeah, jump and the net will appear.
00:33:30.231 --> 00:33:31.922
Ju- I, yeah, but it's like-
00:33:32.412 --> 00:33:32.781
Yeah
00:33:33.776 --> 00:33:35.476
But that first jump is real frightening.
00:33:35.526 --> 00:33:36.145
It can be.
00:33:36.476 --> 00:33:48.036
and hoping that you'll be able to, that the net will appear- or that you will have time to create the wings on the way down is tricky when it is something that is so different from what you've done.
00:33:48.326 --> 00:33:50.105
you keep throwing this back to me of running 100.
00:33:50.355 --> 00:33:54.796
To me, 100 was not as big of a shift from running a marathon.
00:33:55.246 --> 00:33:55.726
Okay.
00:33:55.935 --> 00:34:00.205
it was similar and just a lot more of it.
00:34:00.506 --> 00:34:02.365
then what would be the bigger shift for you?
00:34:02.776 --> 00:34:04.736
No, that's what I thought it was going to be.
00:34:04.885 --> 00:34:05.056
Oh.
00:34:05.096 --> 00:34:09.576
I didn't think that running 100 was gonna be drastically- Oh, gotcha different than running a marathon.
00:34:10.076 --> 00:34:21.985
That's why when you were like,"Oh, we gotta completely change things, and y- you shouldn't be coaching the track for the season and all these things," I'm like, it's, I'm gonna go further, but, Four times
00:34:22.286 --> 00:34:22.835
further.
00:34:23.476 --> 00:34:23.885
Yeah.
00:34:23.885 --> 00:34:33.385
But I'm like, but it's gonna be at a much slower pace, and I didn't realize all of the other things- that were gonna be involved in being out there for so long.
00:34:33.615 --> 00:34:42.226
the level of practice of hydration and how to take in food and what food is even gonna work, and do you gonna have to carry a pack, or do you even have to?
00:34:42.226 --> 00:34:52.025
Like, all of the other stuff that came with it, not to mention the mental capacity to be out there for over 10 hours.
00:34:52.056 --> 00:35:00.516
I, once, once you seem to clear 10 hours, it's like, all right, and now I've reached ludicrous mode, and my head is coming up with all sorts of different thoughts.
00:35:00.826 --> 00:35:03.246
That's the bonkers piece to me.
00:35:03.425 --> 00:35:16.076
And I was like,"No, I'm just, I'm literally just going out there and running more." Like, when I run a marathon, there is a chunk of time where my brain is telling me,"You can't possibly do this." This is the same for, any race.
00:35:16.246 --> 00:35:20.195
You run a 5K, there's a chunk of time where your brain's telling you,"You can't do this.
00:35:20.266 --> 00:35:20.965
Slow down.
00:35:21.166 --> 00:35:31.913
You're gonna die." In a 5K, that lasts for a few minutes- and then you cross the finish line In a marathon, that could last for an hour, depending on your pacing, couple hours.
00:35:32.503 --> 00:35:43.913
In an ultra, that thought of- I should stop, I should walk, I sh- this was a terrible idea, what if I die, is going to last for over 12 hours.
00:35:43.992 --> 00:35:44.722
A half a day.
00:35:48.003 --> 00:35:55.873
and you have to be able to continuously come up with an answer to that- Yeah of why should I not just stop and lay down on the side of the road?
00:35:56.083 --> 00:36:00.103
Somebody from an aid station will scoop me up, and I will eventually be back and safe.
00:36:00.463 --> 00:36:06.032
and I did not realize how big of a change this was when I did it.
00:36:06.273 --> 00:36:07.713
It was something I wanted to do.
00:36:07.722 --> 00:36:08.963
It was something I wanted to explore.
00:36:08.963 --> 00:36:10.512
I'm so glad that I did it.
00:36:10.822 --> 00:36:19.862
I just didn't realize how big of an exploration it was, which is so weird because the main reason I wanted to do it was to simply explore.
00:36:20.422 --> 00:36:20.802
Yeah.
00:36:21.193 --> 00:36:24.902
And I just didn't realize how deep the cave was that I was
00:36:24.902 --> 00:36:26.233
exploring.
00:36:26.233 --> 00:36:31.782
Yeah, and I think that really points to the readiness piece that we were just talking about, too.
00:36:32.023 --> 00:36:34.003
In your case, ignorance is bliss, right?
00:36:34.003 --> 00:36:50.693
you weren't even prepared for it, but I think that there's a lot of people that would look at that, I don't think, maybe I'm off on this and our listeners can reach out and let me know if they agree with me or with you, because I don't think most people would approach 100 like you of"Oh, yeah, it's not much longer than a marathon." it's four times longer.
00:36:50.713 --> 00:36:53.233
what the heck are you talking about, right?
00:36:53.652 --> 00:37:06.813
so in a way it was good for you that you didn't realize what a big change it was because it allowed you to go into it actually feeling ready, but I think there's a lot of people that feel like that readiness is in question, right?
00:37:06.842 --> 00:37:12.052
and what I was just mentioning is the, the readiness doesn't need to come first.
00:37:12.063 --> 00:37:14.583
W- you, the, the decision comes first, right?
00:37:14.583 --> 00:37:22.543
And I think that's where this permission piece comes in that we were talking about earlier in the episode of so many people need permission.
00:37:22.543 --> 00:37:25.302
And it's not n- maybe permission, I think, is the wrong word.
00:37:25.302 --> 00:37:26.483
I think it's just belief.
00:37:26.492 --> 00:37:29.512
I think it's having that belief that thing is possible.
00:37:29.512 --> 00:37:40.764
It's that question that our client asked us of,"Do you think I could do this?" And I think that- When we ask those questions, we need to have a real answer.
00:37:40.775 --> 00:37:44.744
Not just"Yeah, of course you can do it," but, actually having a real answer.
00:37:44.744 --> 00:37:51.074
And my answer always is if you have the desire, then the possibility is there.
00:37:51.074 --> 00:37:52.824
Because the desire is not random.
00:37:53.125 --> 00:37:54.585
It is information.
00:37:54.594 --> 00:37:55.295
It is your brain.
00:37:55.295 --> 00:37:56.994
It's pointing to something real.
00:37:57.175 --> 00:37:59.025
It's a, a capacity.
00:37:59.025 --> 00:37:59.795
It's a potential.
00:37:59.795 --> 00:38:16.284
It's a version of yourself that you want that is just sitting there waiting to be chosen, and you get to actually choose whether or not to take the steps and just start to take the steps towards that version of yourself.
00:38:16.284 --> 00:38:22.565
And I think that's where that question comes from, is so many people are just looking for that external permission.
00:38:22.565 --> 00:38:31.974
maybe it's from a coach, maybe it's from their partner, their spouse, maybe it's from a doctor or a friend, to believe that thing that they want is possible for them.
00:38:31.974 --> 00:38:55.704
And sometimes that external permission or that external belief can genuinely be helpful'cause like you said, and this is the thing I tell my clients all the time and I'll tell you all as listeners of this podcast, borrow my belief anytime you want to because I genuinely believe that if you have a desire that you actually want, not just like a fake desire like,"Oh, I wanna be a professional basketball player." do you really?
00:38:55.704 --> 00:38:55.875
no.
00:38:55.885 --> 00:38:56.405
You're not...
00:38:56.454 --> 00:38:59.164
you're never gonna make a professional basketball player in the NBA.
00:38:59.175 --> 00:38:59.494
come on.
00:39:00.405 --> 00:39:05.114
But if it's a genuine desire, that has to come from somewhere.
00:39:05.954 --> 00:39:15.155
And you can borrow my belief all you want, but at some point you have to take that belief on yourself, and then that desire has to come from the inside
00:39:17.072 --> 00:39:23.753
Yeah, and once you have that belief, it can then change you to whatever you want.
00:39:23.833 --> 00:39:24.413
Of course.
00:39:24.592 --> 00:39:30.342
It allows you to, you said this at the beginning, to shed previous identities.
00:39:30.373 --> 00:39:30.722
Yeah.
00:39:31.163 --> 00:39:34.313
And it can then make a complete overhaul in who you are.
00:39:34.503 --> 00:39:40.733
The person that you've been for all of the years of your life- does not have to be the person that you are for the rest of them.
00:39:40.853 --> 00:39:41.152
Yeah.
00:39:41.152 --> 00:39:42.273
you can flip it.
00:39:42.583 --> 00:39:48.023
you can change at any point in time if you believe that you can change.
00:39:48.043 --> 00:39:57.317
If you go, no, this is basically who I am," like I said, there's a difference between a belief that you can change and a belief that you can put, a change in your, the painting on the outside of you.
00:39:57.726 --> 00:40:06.447
this is not putting a mask on and being like, no, I look like this now." This is an actual full-blown change of who you are as a person.
00:40:06.706 --> 00:40:16.327
It's possible because your brain will allow you to come up with a new identity for yourself, and as long as you fully embrace that's your new identity, that's the direction that you're going to go into.
00:40:16.706 --> 00:40:18.936
But you don't have to be stuck with whoever you are.
00:40:18.936 --> 00:40:19.092
Yeah.
00:40:19.092 --> 00:40:20.286
Especially if you're happy with it.
00:40:20.336 --> 00:40:23.286
if you are super happy with where you are, go with it.
00:40:23.317 --> 00:40:24.737
That's an awesome choice that you've made.
00:40:24.936 --> 00:40:26.376
Continue to choose that path.
00:40:26.626 --> 00:40:33.047
But if you're not happy with where you are, you can choose a different path- in whatever world that is.
00:40:33.266 --> 00:40:37.407
yeah, sure, in our running world, I was done racing marathons.
00:40:37.407 --> 00:40:39.896
They weren't bringing me the same joy that they were when I started.
00:40:40.166 --> 00:40:40.327
Yeah.
00:40:40.327 --> 00:40:46.577
I wanted to try things that were longer and see if I could find different, a different experience out of it.
00:40:46.987 --> 00:40:50.376
But you could do the same thing i- inside of, a job.
00:40:50.626 --> 00:40:53.436
You could do the same thing inside of your family relationship.
00:40:53.657 --> 00:40:59.396
you don't have to be locked into this world that you have f- for your life.
00:40:59.467 --> 00:40:59.806
Yeah.
00:41:00.217 --> 00:41:00.467
You can change.
00:41:00.867 --> 00:41:20.157
Yeah, I agree, and I think that's one of the things that happens to a lot of us, especially when it comes to roles that we have in our life, of roles that we've been assigned or that we chose or maybe that we never chose for us of,"Oh, you're- you're not that athletic." I'm not athletic, or,"You're not disciplined enough.
00:41:20.166 --> 00:41:31.686
You're lazy." there's all these things and these ideas that we have about ourselves, and we have to be really careful because those ideas, a lot of times people just say,"Oh, that's just who I am," as if it's not changeable.
00:41:31.976 --> 00:41:33.827
But all of those things are changeable.
00:41:34.297 --> 00:41:47.527
You just have to decide ahead of time what kind of person you wanna be, and that's where it also becomes really- We have to be very careful in letting other people's opinions of us determine what's possible for us.
00:41:47.536 --> 00:41:50.766
So going back to that question of do you believe that I could do this?
00:41:50.766 --> 00:41:51.827
Do you think I could do this?
00:41:52.206 --> 00:41:53.907
What if I said no, right?
00:41:53.907 --> 00:41:55.996
what if I told our client, no, I don't think so.
00:41:55.996 --> 00:41:57.697
I don't think that's a long enough timeline for you.
00:41:57.697 --> 00:42:03.126
I don't think that's possible." Then would that person even have the guts to try?
00:42:03.157 --> 00:42:06.797
Or would that person just decide to abandon the goal, right?
00:42:06.797 --> 00:42:12.916
you have to be careful who you allow to have a say in what you believe is possible for yourself.
00:42:12.916 --> 00:42:19.527
We have another client that is dealing with this as well, of people in her life are telling her like,"Oh, y- why are you doing that?
00:42:19.536 --> 00:42:20.177
That's crazy.
00:42:20.177 --> 00:42:27.456
You shouldn't be doing these things." And I always like to use the metaphor of like your newborn ba- your newborn baby.
00:42:27.456 --> 00:42:32.646
Like, when you have a newborn baby, you don't just let anybody hold your newborn baby.
00:42:32.657 --> 00:42:38.617
you're very, at least I was very particular in who was able to hold my newborn baby.
00:42:38.836 --> 00:42:41.407
And I only let certain people hold that, her.
00:42:41.487 --> 00:42:43.527
I o- only let s- certain people hold her.
00:42:43.697 --> 00:42:44.967
They had to be sitting down.
00:42:45.237 --> 00:43:05.686
They, I, when she was f- a newborn, when she was a couple weeks old, the people that I allowed to come over to meet her, I made them change their clothes when they came over my house, and put on one of Kevin's big shirts before they held her,'cause I didn't want all their germs all o- the germs from work and all the places that they've been, to be, for her to be exposed to any of those things.
00:43:05.686 --> 00:43:07.646
So I was very protective over her.
00:43:07.806 --> 00:43:15.896
You sound crazy when you say that, but these were like your coworkers- Yeah who have been dealing with like PT clients in and out of the office all day long.
00:43:16.007 --> 00:43:27.956
So the level of like exposure on that one person is, that's like requiring somebody who works in a hospital setting to change out of their scrubs before they're allowed to hold the baby.
00:43:27.987 --> 00:43:28.246
Yeah.
00:43:28.246 --> 00:43:30.297
you sound less crazy when you give the whole background.
00:43:30.376 --> 00:43:36.396
At first it was like, I worked in accounting and I thought, no, you'd get, you've been in a cubicle all day.
00:43:36.396 --> 00:43:37.246
Put on this T-shirt.
00:43:37.277 --> 00:43:37.507
no.
00:43:37.797 --> 00:43:37.817
Yeah.
00:43:37.817 --> 00:43:39.697
It's, there, there was germs here.
00:43:39.757 --> 00:43:41.056
lots and lots of germs.
00:43:41.056 --> 00:43:41.356
Yeah.
00:43:42.027 --> 00:43:46.067
But you have to be careful who you allow to hold your newborn baby.
00:43:46.067 --> 00:43:55.577
And when you have a baby belief in yourself, and you have a baby desire that you're not sure if you really wanna go in that certain direction or not, you have to be careful who you share that with.
00:43:55.597 --> 00:44:02.117
You can't just share your baby beliefs and your baby d- desires with anybody, because people might drop the baby.
00:44:02.137 --> 00:44:04.396
People might tell you that is not a good idea.
00:44:04.416 --> 00:44:09.777
People might tell you and discourage you from doing the thing that you genuinely want to do.
00:44:09.777 --> 00:44:13.206
And I think that's the big thing, is this a genuine desire?
00:44:13.266 --> 00:44:16.507
when you really check in with yourself, do you want this thing?
00:44:16.786 --> 00:44:20.175
Because if you do And protect it.
00:44:20.224 --> 00:44:25.364
protect it, and plant it as a little seed, and water it, and make sure it gets enough sun.
00:44:25.364 --> 00:44:31.375
and as it starts to actually sprout and form roots, then, it becomes a little bit more hearty.
00:44:31.375 --> 00:44:32.545
It becomes a little bit more resilient.
00:44:32.554 --> 00:44:33.885
You can share it with more people.
00:44:33.885 --> 00:44:39.704
I just, combined a baby metaphor and a plant metaphor all in one, but you know- I was gonna point out- Everybody gets it
00:44:40.025 --> 00:44:41.994
you just planted your baby and watered it, but I- I didn't plant-
00:44:41.994 --> 00:44:42.005
I
00:44:42.204 --> 00:44:42.864
was gonna let that go.
00:44:42.864 --> 00:44:47.784
But but that's the thing is like- Awkward parenting advice when the baby is older-
00:44:48.224 --> 00:44:49.465
Then you can plant it
00:44:49.554 --> 00:44:52.264
then you c- you let more people hold her, right?
00:44:52.315 --> 00:44:54.664
you let more people hold her because now she can hold her head up.
00:44:54.675 --> 00:44:57.085
it's not as, like she's got more strength.
00:44:57.085 --> 00:44:57.815
she's stronger.
00:44:57.815 --> 00:44:59.454
She's more resilient, right?
00:44:59.454 --> 00:45:04.085
And then baby two comes along, and you'll just let lots of people hold baby number two, right?
00:45:04.085 --> 00:45:06.775
Because she's, like you've been through it before.
00:45:06.775 --> 00:45:07.635
You understand it.
00:45:07.635 --> 00:45:10.664
Y- you're, it's not as fragile, right?
00:45:10.664 --> 00:45:11.835
Your belief is not as fragile.
00:45:11.835 --> 00:45:13.764
Your baby's not as fragile when she's older.
00:45:14.034 --> 00:45:20.005
And so I think it's important for us to do the same thing with our dreams and our desires and our goals and the person that you're becoming.
00:45:20.005 --> 00:45:40.172
If you are changing and you are deciding to grow and evolve into a person, especially if it's a different person than you've been in the past, the people in your life that knew, knew that past version of you, that know the current version of you, they might not like it.
00:45:40.182 --> 00:45:51.612
They might have some very strong opinions if you're now becoming a, a different person, and you're not fitting the mold that they have put you in, and the role that you play in their lives.
00:45:51.612 --> 00:46:02.163
And now you're setting boundaries, and now you're making decisions that are gonna benefit you instead of them, and y- it's not gonna be a comfortable thing, and that's why people always say growth is uncomfortable.
00:46:02.163 --> 00:46:03.773
This is one of the aspects of it.
00:46:03.773 --> 00:46:10.822
the people in your life aren't necessarily going to like it, and it's gonna be up to you to continue down that path.
00:46:10.833 --> 00:46:13.713
It, does this desire mean enough to you?
00:46:13.733 --> 00:46:20.333
Is the person that you want to become, is she, how much does she mean to you?
00:46:20.342 --> 00:46:24.822
How important is that, that version of you and that new identity that you want to take on?
00:46:25.353 --> 00:46:28.492
Is it important for you to be strong and stay the course?
00:46:28.532 --> 00:46:33.242
And I think that's a decision that we all have to make as individuals.
00:46:34.103 --> 00:46:35.822
Yes, but it's a decision that we have to make.
00:46:36.103 --> 00:46:36.393
Yeah.
00:46:36.713 --> 00:46:39.132
it's again, don't just let it happen.
00:46:39.432 --> 00:46:40.202
And go,"I don't know.
00:46:40.202 --> 00:46:46.682
I'm gonna see this, and then we'll just see how it plays out." Realize that changing yourself is going to change your relationship with those around you.
00:46:46.782 --> 00:46:52.202
And decide,"Okay, if I lose that friendship or if I lose that depth of friendship-
00:46:52.233 --> 00:46:52.603
Yeah
00:46:52.813 --> 00:47:08.333
is that okay because I'm changing into this person, and it's more important me, for me to go into this direction for myself than to hang onto this relationship, than to maintain the quality of this relationship?" Because it, that's going to possibly happen.
00:47:08.612 --> 00:47:13.202
Like, when you make big changes in your life, your relationship with those around you is going to be affected.
00:47:13.563 --> 00:47:13.972
Like-
00:47:14.123 --> 00:47:14.452
Yeah
00:47:14.682 --> 00:47:22.273
it's a much more subtle thing, but when I decided to run ultramarathons, I had to give up the identity of track coach.
00:47:22.483 --> 00:47:23.643
I couldn't work both of them.
00:47:23.643 --> 00:47:23.773
Yeah.
00:47:23.773 --> 00:47:24.672
And that was tricky.
00:47:24.682 --> 00:47:27.992
And I was like,"But I've done this for, 15 years."
00:47:28.012 --> 00:47:28.333
Yeah.
00:47:28.733 --> 00:47:29.762
ooh, that's- Yeah,
00:47:29.762 --> 00:47:31.762
and the school expected you to do it again
00:47:32.483 --> 00:47:32.773
Exactly.
00:47:33.023 --> 00:47:41.813
one, it was a relationship that I'd built with the kids around me for a long time, and I had the expectations from the school expecting that I was gonna show up in January and do this.
00:47:41.813 --> 00:47:42.733
And the parents?
00:47:43.193 --> 00:47:43.443
Yep.
00:47:43.443 --> 00:47:43.463
The
00:47:43.463 --> 00:47:45.902
parents were not happy when you decided not to coach.
00:47:46.222 --> 00:47:49.762
Parents were not, th- yeah,'cause it's the cross-country kids who then come back for track.
00:47:49.762 --> 00:47:50.353
And they're like,"What?
00:47:50.853 --> 00:47:52.103
How are you not gonna be here?
00:47:52.103 --> 00:47:54.112
What do you mean you're not coaching track?"
00:47:54.152 --> 00:47:54.483
Yeah.
00:47:55.003 --> 00:47:57.092
That did, that made an interesting dynamic.
00:47:57.273 --> 00:47:58.913
It's like, I need to do this thing." Yeah.
00:47:58.913 --> 00:48:06.172
"I need to see if this thing is possible for me, and I'm sorry, but that means that I'm going to step away from your kids for this spring.
00:48:06.472 --> 00:48:11.932
that's what's going to happen now." It, that, it was weird because you're going to get interesting responses from those around you.
00:48:12.193 --> 00:48:20.242
And you'd think the parents of the runners would understand, but they didn't because they were seeing it from the view of parent.
00:48:20.463 --> 00:48:25.172
They wanted to protect their kid, and I was screwing things up for their kid.
00:48:25.313 --> 00:48:28.213
That w- in their mind, in their perspective, that's what was happening.
00:48:28.322 --> 00:48:28.563
Yeah.
00:48:29.063 --> 00:48:35.943
And sometimes when we make these changes, we make them for very personal reasons- and other people are making decisions for their own personal reasons.
00:48:36.342 --> 00:48:37.733
there may be some conflicts there.
00:48:37.853 --> 00:48:38.012
Yeah.
00:48:38.012 --> 00:48:44.322
And you have to accept that, and that's why you have to ch- make the conscious decision ahead of time that this is the path you're going down.
00:48:44.333 --> 00:48:44.393
Yeah.
00:48:44.672 --> 00:48:51.782
Because then when issues arise, you're like,"Oh, yes, I expected there to be some, some challenges along the way.
00:48:51.963 --> 00:48:58.532
Here's one that I, here's a challenge that I will overcome down this path that I'm going on." Instead of,"Here's an obstacle, I better turn around."
00:48:59.003 --> 00:48:59.163
It's
00:48:59.452 --> 00:49:00.963
just a challenge along the way.
00:49:01.353 --> 00:49:05.972
Yeah, and again, that always goes back to how important is this thing to you, right?
00:49:06.333 --> 00:49:19.822
Because there might be some things that you're willing to undergo the discomfort and the scrutiny and the pushback and all of that, and there's gonna be other things that when you think about it or when you start to experience, you decide,"You know what?
00:49:20.063 --> 00:49:21.702
That's not really worth it." And that's okay.
00:49:21.702 --> 00:49:23.023
you're allowed to change your mind, too.
00:49:23.353 --> 00:49:33.900
But ultimately, when you decide ahead of time the person that you want to become, then it's up to you to then take the steps, right?
00:49:33.900 --> 00:49:41.371
So when we think about practical steps on intentionally becoming, step number one is deciding who to become, right?
00:49:41.380 --> 00:49:43.820
Who do you want to become and choosing that intentionally.
00:49:43.820 --> 00:49:45.831
So it's not just what do you wanna do.
00:49:45.840 --> 00:49:48.440
It's not just, oh, I wanna run or I wanna do a marathon.
00:49:48.440 --> 00:49:49.860
It's who do you want to become?
00:49:49.860 --> 00:49:51.210
choose your identity first.
00:49:51.420 --> 00:49:53.820
So I'm becoming a trail runner.
00:49:53.851 --> 00:49:56.481
I'm becoming someone who prioritizes strength training.
00:49:56.481 --> 00:49:57.800
I'm becoming a business owner.
00:49:57.800 --> 00:49:59.300
I'm becoming a marathoner.
00:49:59.320 --> 00:50:02.860
whatever it is that you want to become, say it out loud.
00:50:02.860 --> 00:50:03.590
Write it down.
00:50:03.601 --> 00:50:04.771
make it a real thing.
00:50:05.090 --> 00:50:10.751
And because from that identity, from that choice, that's where your actions flow from.
00:50:11.030 --> 00:50:18.141
And I think that this idea of becoming can be easier for some people to kinda wrap their heads around versus I am.
00:50:18.201 --> 00:50:21.460
a l- lot of people talk about I am statements like,"I am a runner.
00:50:21.460 --> 00:50:22.501
I am a trail runner.
00:50:22.501 --> 00:50:23.150
I am this.
00:50:23.150 --> 00:50:30.150
I am that." But I think that sometimes our brains have a lot of pushback when we don't have the evidence yet of that thing, right?
00:50:30.411 --> 00:50:39.141
And so when we say,"I am becoming a," then our brains are, like, it kinda lets the guard down a little bit, and your brain can get on board more.
00:50:39.400 --> 00:50:48.041
So you decide, number one, who you want to become, and then number two, you decide what that actually looks like ahead of time, right?
00:50:48.041 --> 00:50:50.940
making decisions ahead of time is a really big piece of this.
00:50:51.240 --> 00:51:01.358
And so In the changing season, before you go out and travel, before the hard stretch, you decide what the becoming looks like in that context.
00:51:01.358 --> 00:51:04.239
So if you want to become an ultra-marathoner, this is what Kevin did.
00:51:04.429 --> 00:51:14.739
you decided you were wanting to become an ultra-marathoner, so in order to do that, in order to become that, you had to give up your identity of track coach that season, right?
00:51:14.739 --> 00:51:17.268
and for the la- for a couple of seasons you did.
00:51:17.278 --> 00:51:30.418
But you made those decisions based on the person that you were becoming and what your context and what your circumstances needed to look like to give yourself the best chance to become that person that you wanted to be.
00:51:31.139 --> 00:51:31.679
100%.
00:51:31.748 --> 00:51:34.418
and then other actions continued follow.
00:51:34.619 --> 00:51:34.869
Yeah.
00:51:35.099 --> 00:51:40.809
That's the thing is, just because you think you've made this decision ahead of time, there is going to be more things that come up.
00:51:40.969 --> 00:51:53.829
And every time you get to a new situation that you did not expect, because you're pa- following a new path, you have to then question,"What would I do from my new identity?" Not from my old identity.
00:51:54.018 --> 00:51:59.159
Not what do I fall back on, on previous habits, but here's a new training decision.
00:51:59.418 --> 00:52:01.309
Here's a new dec- our current scenario.
00:52:01.748 --> 00:52:06.028
Do I stay up late with the kids, or do I make sure that I continue to get up early?
00:52:06.259 --> 00:52:07.639
what does that look like?
00:52:07.838 --> 00:52:11.469
Make it from the person that I'm becoming, not from a thing that I've done in the past.
00:52:12.179 --> 00:52:16.838
in, in my current situation, my training usually falls off a bit during the fall.
00:52:16.989 --> 00:52:19.329
A bit during the fall during cross-country season.
00:52:19.579 --> 00:52:27.385
Not as much as track, because you help me a heck of a lot during cross-country season, but there's always a drop-off Does there have to be?
00:52:28.235 --> 00:52:33.855
Depends on how I answer the who do I wanna be in this season, because there's always going to be challenges.
00:52:34.155 --> 00:52:37.925
You just need to choose how you answer it and what identity you answer it from.
00:52:38.054 --> 00:52:38.445
Yeah.
00:52:38.695 --> 00:52:51.844
and Kevin and I, you and I just had this conversation recently too about our roles on the cross country team, specifically my role on the cross country team, because Kevin has been the head cross country coach for 15, how many years now?
00:52:51.894 --> 00:52:52.614
19 years.
00:52:52.954 --> 00:52:53.414
A, a lot.
00:52:53.465 --> 00:52:54.244
a lot of years.
00:52:54.485 --> 00:53:01.824
So Kevin's been coaching cross country for 20 years, and I've been coaching now with him about 12 I think, 12 or 13.
00:53:02.215 --> 00:53:02.704
I think 12.
00:53:03.525 --> 00:53:05.795
But when I first came on, I was his assistant.
00:53:05.804 --> 00:53:06.144
I was...
00:53:06.164 --> 00:53:07.635
I didn't even go to practice very much.
00:53:07.635 --> 00:53:08.655
I was really the assistant.
00:53:08.655 --> 00:53:10.614
I was doing a lot of things behind the scenes.
00:53:10.875 --> 00:53:15.264
and I would go sometimes, but I was really running the show more behind the scenes.
00:53:15.264 --> 00:53:16.394
I wasn't super visible.
00:53:16.675 --> 00:53:27.094
And then as the girls got older and I kinda started to come to practice more, be a more hands-on type of coach because I thought it was important for the girls on our team to have a female coach.
00:53:27.465 --> 00:53:33.824
and then we kinda fell into, Kevin started calling us co-head coaches, and we never really talked about that.
00:53:33.824 --> 00:53:36.184
Y- you just decided that we were gonna be co-head coaches.
00:53:36.184 --> 00:53:37.655
And I was like,"I, you're, I'm good.
00:53:37.684 --> 00:53:38.364
you're the head coach.
00:53:38.364 --> 00:53:47.940
I'm the assistant." You're like,"No, we're co-head coaches." And then we also fell into our relationship pattern of Angie takes the lead on a lot of things, right?
00:53:47.940 --> 00:53:53.831
that's just w- what our default way of being in the world, and in our relationship is I tend to take the lead.
00:53:53.831 --> 00:53:55.300
I have a very strong personality.
00:53:55.300 --> 00:53:56.291
I'm very verbal.
00:53:56.291 --> 00:53:57.351
I'm very outspoken.
00:53:57.641 --> 00:53:58.981
and I like to take the lead.
00:53:58.990 --> 00:54:02.831
And so that was happening on the cross-country team, and I didn't want that.
00:54:02.990 --> 00:54:06.771
And so Kevin and I had to have some tough conversations.
00:54:06.771 --> 00:54:11.670
and before the season began, I specifically told him, I'm like,"I don't want to be a head coach.
00:54:11.710 --> 00:54:13.331
I want to be the assistant.
00:54:13.331 --> 00:54:15.061
I want you to be the head coach.
00:54:15.240 --> 00:54:16.670
I need you to fill that role.
00:54:16.670 --> 00:54:18.161
I w- I want to be the assistant.
00:54:18.161 --> 00:54:20.010
I don't want to be making the decisions.
00:54:20.030 --> 00:54:32.001
I want to support you in your decisions for this team." And like I, because I could feel myself, like I knew I didn't want the head coach role, and so I wasn't doing a good job in that role.
00:54:32.010 --> 00:54:41.311
I was doing a fine job, but it wasn't, I didn't have everything to put into it because it wasn't something that I'd chosen intentionally, and I really had to make that clear.
00:54:41.630 --> 00:54:46.760
And now I feel already this season, things are so different, and I'm so much happier.
00:54:46.760 --> 00:54:47.570
I hope you are too.
00:54:48.070 --> 00:54:56.411
But I'm so much happier with our dynamic, our coaching dynamic, and you really stepping back into that head coach role and me being your assistant.
00:54:56.411 --> 00:55:01.451
I feel like I'm just able to show up in a way that feels much more intentional and aligned.
00:55:01.911 --> 00:55:07.731
Yeah, and then the circumstances lined up that I was fully head coach for our season opener meet, which was-
00:55:07.981 --> 00:55:08.740
Oh, yeah.
00:55:08.820 --> 00:55:09.530
Funny, right?
00:55:09.561 --> 00:55:09.981
Oh my gosh.
00:55:10.030 --> 00:55:10.840
I didn't even think about that.
00:55:10.840 --> 00:55:10.860
Yeah.
00:55:10.940 --> 00:55:11.280
Yeah.
00:55:11.751 --> 00:55:14.132
No, I definitely- Yeah thought about that because- Yeah you weren't able to come.
00:55:14.132 --> 00:55:15.913
you were home with our sick daughter.
00:55:16.023 --> 00:55:17.552
And so the opening meet was me.
00:55:17.922 --> 00:55:20.663
It was me and 28 kids on a bus.
00:55:21.451 --> 00:55:21.460
"Here
00:55:21.460 --> 00:55:23.081
you guys, let's do this thing."
00:55:23.251 --> 00:55:23.460
Yeah.
00:55:23.460 --> 00:55:26.340
And, in the past, it's always been like,"All right.
00:55:26.340 --> 00:55:36.681
I'm gonna watch this race, and you make sure that this group of kids gets to the starting line at this point in time." And I would- I just told the captains of the team, I'm like,"I'm gonna make sure that the girls are doing what they're supposed to during the race.
00:55:36.920 --> 00:55:41.431
I need you guys over at the line 15 minutes before the race starts." and it just happened.
00:55:41.630 --> 00:55:47.971
You just give people the jobs, and they do what is supposed to happen, and I was able to do a good coaching job throughout the entire race.
00:55:47.971 --> 00:55:48.851
And- and it worked.
00:55:48.931 --> 00:55:49.251
Yeah.
00:55:49.481 --> 00:55:53.440
And I think that's a good example of adjusting things without abandoning things, too.
00:55:53.440 --> 00:55:57.130
there's always going to be circumstances that require adjustment, and that's not failure.
00:55:57.181 --> 00:55:57.570
who...
00:55:57.581 --> 00:56:01.460
we could have never predicted that I was going to miss the first meet of the season.
00:56:01.460 --> 00:56:02.021
I would have never...
00:56:02.021 --> 00:56:04.581
If you would've asked me, I would've told you I was,"I'm not gonna miss any meets.
00:56:04.581 --> 00:56:14.710
That's ridiculous." But our daughter got sick, and I needed to be home with her because my identity as a mom comes before my identity as a high school cross country coach.
00:56:14.911 --> 00:56:17.840
And that to me is more important, to make sure she was taken care of.
00:56:18.070 --> 00:56:19.251
And so we adjusted.
00:56:19.260 --> 00:56:21.550
Kevin made it work, and he did a great job.
00:56:21.860 --> 00:56:24.780
but I think that happens to us all the time as runners, too.
00:56:24.780 --> 00:56:27.221
it's okay when things don't go as planned.
00:56:27.240 --> 00:56:28.451
We have to make adjustments.
00:56:28.481 --> 00:56:32.130
Adjustments doesn't mean anything is a failure or it's not working.
00:56:32.130 --> 00:56:37.231
It just means, okay, life happened, and now we get to adjust and figure out how it fits now.
00:56:37.860 --> 00:56:38.061
Yeah.
00:56:38.101 --> 00:56:42.780
Maintain the decision, maintain the identity, make small adjustments along the way- based off of things that come up.
00:56:42.860 --> 00:56:43.090
But-
00:56:43.130 --> 00:56:43.311
Yeah
00:56:43.320 --> 00:56:46.851
you've already made the decision, so then you're just making adjustments.
00:56:46.860 --> 00:56:47.521
Exactly.
00:56:47.731 --> 00:56:48.141
And it's so much...
00:56:48.291 --> 00:56:49.431
It's like having a training plan.
00:56:49.871 --> 00:56:54.101
Have a training plan in place, and then you can adjust when weather comes up.
00:56:54.411 --> 00:56:58.360
But having no training plan c- in place, you're like,"I don't know.
00:56:58.360 --> 00:56:58.960
It's Monday.
00:56:59.300 --> 00:57:02.130
I guess I'll go run today." you don't know what's gonna happen.
00:57:02.141 --> 00:57:04.251
Have some sort of plan in place.
00:57:04.400 --> 00:57:04.771
Yeah.
00:57:05.271 --> 00:57:16.362
So as we come to the close of this episode, we want you to really take away this idea that- We are all in the per- process of becoming, always.
00:57:16.742 --> 00:57:27.853
The only question is whether or not you're doing it on purpose, because you're either doing it on purpose and doing it with intention, or you're becoming someone or something unintentional.
00:57:28.112 --> 00:57:30.253
And you don't have to have it all figured out.
00:57:30.302 --> 00:57:32.762
You don't need to be ready before you take this step.
00:57:33.043 --> 00:57:36.393
You don't need someone else's permission or someone else's belief in you.
00:57:36.393 --> 00:57:38.742
You can generate all of those things yourself.
00:57:39.103 --> 00:57:49.302
All you need is a decision about who you are, about who you're choosing to become in this season, at this age, with this life, because that's the big thing, right?
00:57:49.313 --> 00:57:56.362
we can't make decisions based on who we were at 20 or at 30 or at 40 if you are currently 53 years old, right?
00:57:56.362 --> 00:57:59.632
you have to make those decisions based on who you are right now.
00:57:59.813 --> 00:58:01.222
And life is always changing.
00:58:01.222 --> 00:58:04.472
Life is always evolving, and we are always getting more information.
00:58:04.713 --> 00:58:14.382
And you can decide at any point in time who you want to become, and that person is allowed to be someone that is different than who you have become or who you were in the past.
00:58:14.382 --> 00:58:17.052
You're allowed to change paths whenever you want to.
00:58:17.943 --> 00:58:19.333
Just do it intentionally, right?
00:58:19.333 --> 00:58:27.693
Do it with conscious awareness and, decide who you're becoming and make it a choice.
00:58:27.873 --> 00:58:30.873
realize that it's a choice and make it intentionally.
00:58:31.753 --> 00:58:32.103
Yeah.
00:58:32.152 --> 00:58:33.563
that, that's a perfect synopsis.
00:58:33.802 --> 00:58:41.452
Make it intentionally, I think is the biggest takeaway that we've got out of this episode, is consciously choose who are you- Yeah becoming.
00:58:41.452 --> 00:58:42.753
Who are you becoming?
00:58:43.103 --> 00:58:46.123
So guys, if this was helpful, please leave us a review.
00:58:46.132 --> 00:58:47.672
Spotify, leave us a comment.
00:58:47.902 --> 00:58:49.592
Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts.
00:58:49.603 --> 00:58:53.112
Share the podcast with anybody that you think would find this helpful.
00:58:53.373 --> 00:58:54.802
And as always, thanks for joining us.
00:58:54.802 --> 00:58:57.342
This has been the Running Reconnected podcast.
00:58:57.342 --> 00:58:59.282
It's still weird saying that.
00:58:59.282 --> 00:58:59.623
I'm gonna...
00:58:59.822 --> 00:59:07.452
I'm wondering if I'm gonna mess that up at some point in time, because I've been saying, the Real Life Runners podcast for the past 475 episodes.
00:59:08.413 --> 00:59:09.003
Now you've got to-
00:59:09.632 --> 00:59:09.972
But, You can
00:59:09.972 --> 00:59:11.132
always choose a new path.
00:59:11.342 --> 00:59:12.762
I can always choose, and then I did, right?
00:59:12.762 --> 00:59:16.543
That's actually, we are becoming a, a different podcast.
00:59:16.552 --> 00:59:22.262
we are the Running Reconnected podcast, and it's, we're both the same and changing and evolving, right?
00:59:22.282 --> 00:59:22.992
at the same time.
00:59:23.342 --> 00:59:29.373
We can take what we've had from our past and h- like,'cause the Real Life Runners era was fantastic.
00:59:29.382 --> 00:59:30.563
It was a fantastic era.
00:59:30.932 --> 00:59:40.552
And now moving into the Running Reconnected era, this is gonna be even better, because now we get to take all the lessons that we learned and intentionally choose how to evolve from here.
00:59:40.643 --> 00:59:43.862
So anywho, thanks for joining us.
00:59:43.862 --> 00:59:44.722
This has been the Real Life...
00:59:44.762 --> 00:59:49.143
No, the, see, I did it right there, the Running Reconnected podcast, episode number 477.
00:59:50.472 --> 00:59:52.052
Now get out there and run your life.