ABOUT THIS EPISODE
In this honest and very human conversation, Justin and Sarah sit down with their friends JJ and Jamey to talk about what it costs to tell the truth about who you are, and what it looks like to build a family afterward.
JJ grew up in a pastor’s home, became a missionary and theology professor, and spent years trying to pray his sexuality away. He shares the panic attack that sent him to the hospital, the reality show deal that surfaced everything he’d been avoiding, and the 40 day stretch of monasteries and wine country that finally pushed him toward honesty. He also talks about coming out slowly, one conversation at a time, before sharing his story publicly.
Jamey grew up in small town Tennessee, married young, and spent 16 years raising four kids. He remembers the moment his teenage daughter bravely shared she was attracted to another girl, how that opened something in him, and the long, painful process of ending his marriage and finally naming his own truth.
Together, they share how they met online, fell in love, and built a queer family in Nashville with four kids, two in college and two at home. They talk about “instant parenthood” for JJ, navigating school changes and safety issues, holding grief and joy at the same time, and the weekend JJ became a dad and lost his own father. School forms, therapy, Cub Scouts, prom committees, and drag queens all show up in this story.
They reflect on what they wish they could tell their 35 year old selves, why hard does not mean wrong, how to support someone who is coming out, and what it takes to choose audacity when your whole life shifts.
This episode is about leaving old scripts, starting over in the middle, and choosing family, truth, and joy in a place that does not always make that simple.
Takeaways & Talking Points:
• Growing up gay in conservative Christian spaces
• How a TV deal and a panic attack changed JJ’s life
• Jamie’s move from long marriage to finally speaking the truth
• What midlife coming out actually feels like
• Instant parenting and rebuilding family under pressure
• School transfers, safety, and helping kids find stability
• Grieving a parent while becoming one
• Dating long distance in a pandemic
• What supportive friends do well
• How to respond when someone comes out
Things We’re Learning (and Unlearning):
• Coming out is a long process, not a moment
• Faith and sexuality often need to be rethought with honesty
• The “right” choice can still feel painful early on
• Later-in-life coming out brings your whole story with you
• Kids can handle change when at least one home is steady
• You cannot rush someone’s timeline for truth
• “I love you” should be the first sentence
• It is not the job of the person coming out to hold your emotions
• Healing is slow, ordinary work
• Audacity means taking one brave step at a time
Stats Worth Knowing:
• Many LGBTQ+ adults say they sensed “difference” in childhood
• Family acceptance is a major mental health protector for LGBTQ+ youth
• Leaving high control religious environments can bring grief and isolation
• Queer families in conservative regions often face added legal and safety stress
This episode is for anyone coming out later in life, for parents trying to support their kids while sorting out their own beliefs, and for friends who want to show up well when someone they love trusts them with their story.
#RunningAhrens #FamilyConversations #ComingOutStories #QueerFamily #MarriageAndFaith #ParentingInTransition #LGBTQStories #RealTalk #ModernParenting #AudacityAndForward #MentalHealthMatters #ChosenFamily #PurposeDrivenLife #BeingHumanKind
