WEBVTT
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It's revolution.
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You did your best, Evelyn, and sometimes our best isn't good enough, and we all have to live with that.
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At this point, I'm at a like a 50-50.
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It's really good enough or it's not.
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And I can't I can't tell which it's gonna be when I embark on giving my best.
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It's a crapshoot.
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But you told me once gambling is fun.
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Crapshoots are fun.
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What is a crapshoot, Nick?
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What is a it's it's a dice game that you play uh in a casino or on the street corner if you're a war and G, um it's something you do right before killing a bunch of guys.
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I'm just gonna say, like, there's a lot of contexts, uh, some good, some bad, some legal, some not legal, in which a crapshoot might take place.
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Um, but it is a dice game.
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Um, my brother loves to play it in the casino setting, not in the um pre-Eastside Motel setting.
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Regulated setting.
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Yeah, it I find it, I find it to be positively inscrutable.
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I don't really know how it works.
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I've played it a little bit, and the first two or three times I played, I won so much money and was great.
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And I remember turning to my friend and saying, How does anybody lose at this?
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And he said, Oh god, people's whole lives have ended after saying what you just said.
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Oh, what's the point though?
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Hey, reverse jackass listeners.
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So at this exact moment, Nick is going on a one minute and 48-second explanation of how the game of craps works.
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And I'm gonna be honest, I didn't feel like editing it, making it sound sweet.
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So I just thought to put a little voiceover of myself in here to save you the pain that I had to endure listening to Nick talk about craps.
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But I will admit, I brought it on myself because I asked, what is the point?
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And spoiler alert, I still don't understand anything he said.
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So let's go back to the conversation.
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But at the end of the day, it's rolling dice.
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You know when when I talk about when I start talking about music theory, and something happens in your brain where you're hearing words and it's just not making making any sense.
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Does it make sense?
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Yeah.
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I think that's what just happened to me.
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I was all of a sudden like, what is happening in my brain?
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Like it felt like soup in there for a minute.
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So, okay, let me put it to you this way.
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Oh.
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Oh, you you you thought he was done?
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No.
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No, he he wasn't at all.
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I don't know how much of this is going into the podcast, but we should we should introduce it.
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We should introduce it.
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I'll probably keep just some of it, because I think some of it, some of it is good.
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I think I'll have to go back and listen to it.
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Well, some of it's good.
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Yeah.
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Some of it's ponderous.
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Some of it's ponderous, and what's the word for heavy?
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Heavy.
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Hmm, okay.
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I was thinking like starts with a P.
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Not pedantic.
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Pendulous.
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That's more swinging, though.
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Pendulous.
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Our pendulous podcast.
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Folks, welcome to Reverse Jackass, the Pendulous pontificating ponderous podcast.
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Um, uh starring one American and one Canadian, desperately trying to bring peace between their two countries.
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I'm Nick, the American counterpart, uh, and with me as always is Evelyn, the Canadian blade.
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The Canadian Blade.
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Um, and we are trying so hard to bring peace to the between our two countries.
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And I don't know, like we, I guess we, you know, we get in the weeds a lot, but I like to think it's all part of the big picture.
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It's basically us having conversations.
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We're gonna talk about some things, we're gonna make fun of each other a lot.
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Namely, Nick's gonna make fun of me.
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And it's probably because I'm gonna say something wrong.
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I mean, and I don't mean like say something morally wrong, I mean pronounce a word wrong.
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That's that's really where it's she saves the morally wrong stuff for when the when we're not recording.
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That's true.
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That's when that's when the shows up.
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Yeah, the Zoom recording can't even handle the stuff that comes out of my mouth.
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But we're trying.
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Nick and I are trying our best.
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We're so glad you're here listening to us.
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Um that's all that's all I have to say.
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And it's a nick day.
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It's a nick day.
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It's a Wednesday that we're recording, which means this episode goes out on a Thursday.
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It is a Nick day, and we started this episode speaking about gambling.
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So, in the true sense of gambling, Nick, what do you what uh it's a real gamble, what we're gonna talk about today.
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So I guess we want to pivot to a gambling story, but I have a different story for you today, which is this is a this is a story of gasoline.
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Um which is amazing because gasoline is at an all-time high here in the United States, yeah, and in Canada too.
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And um, and I want to hearken back to a time when gasoline was a little less expensive.
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And I'm talking about this was over 20 years ago.
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This would have been 2004, I think.
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I was living in West LA with my roommate Kelly, and I was working, I was a host at a restaurant.
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Um, I was making$11 an hour, and um, it was like, you know, sort of the salad days, like it was a lovely time, but a time without much money.
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You don't get to refer to anything as the salad days, given that your salads are currently giving people explosive diarrhea.
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So that's that seems like three better salads.
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They were sure, okay, fair.
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There was no diarrhea unless, you know, yeah, it wasn't as widespread as perhaps it is.
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Strong FDA back then, run by a by a bureaucrat.
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It was great.
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Oh, it was great.
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Okay.
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So back in this particular time, uh, I had uh a friend reach out to me who said, I'm gonna be in town.
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I wanna get drinks.
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Let's get drinks, come hang out with me.
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And we made the we made the plan for the for this particular Friday.
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And I was like, great, and I was so excited because that Friday I got paid.
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And it was a nominal amount of money.
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It wasn't a lot then, it surely wouldn't be a lot now, but it was enough where I had enough to fill my car with gas and I had enough to have a little bit left over to go get drinks with my friend and then some to float me for the next two weeks until the next paycheck.
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It was like that thing of like when you're not wealthy, but like you have enough and it's great.
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And I'm gonna get go get to see my friend from home, and I'm so excited.
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And so I pull off at this 76 station that was about a half mile from my apartment in West LA on Sentinella Boulevard, and I got out and I started um pumping the gas, and I went in to get a Coke, and I'm all excited because I got my Coke and I'm gonna drive to Hollywood, which is normally a chore, but I'm gonna see my friend and I get my big Coke and I pay the guy the buck fifty for the Coke, and then I walk out and I get in my car, and I drive off and I hear this.
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Uh oh.
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And I thought, what the fuck is that?
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And what the fuck that was was I had forgotten to take the hose out of my car.
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Oh, okay.
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And it had torn the hose out of the gas pump.
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Yeah.
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Which, by the way, was something it was set up to do.
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Like, you imagine if that happens, that there's gonna be like a massive like blast geyser of gas everywhere in a firehouse.
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Nope.
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It absolutely pulls off in one piece, no tearing.
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It's like one of those collars that you buy for your pets when you're worried about them strangling themselves, that if you pull hard enough, it'll just like pull off and then you can reattach it.
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That's what the gas pump was like.
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There they had already thought of that, right?
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So I stop and I get out of my car, and there's like three teenagers at this gas station, and they are laughing at me.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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And I'm humiliated.
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I can't blame them for laughing at me.
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So I go and I get the gas pump and I like grab it, and it's like, I don't know, nine feet long, and I'm holding it like a dead snake, and I walk in to the gas station to the clerk.
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And again, this guy is a clerk at a gas station, right?
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Yeah.
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I think I think it doesn't merit a personal investment in this mistake that I made.
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No, but he was furious, he was hopping mad.
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And again, this is a piece that is clearly designed to come off.
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I haven't ruined the business, I haven't caused a fire hazard, there's nothing.
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This is a thing that is clearly they knew this was gonna happen and they set it up.
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And I said, I'm so sorry I did this thing, and uh, you know, I I drove off with this thing, and he he points at me through the glass and goes, You're gonna have to pay for that.
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And I was like, Of course, of course.
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Right, right, right.
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Like, I came in with it, I didn't speed off.
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Of course, I have to make this right, right?
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Yeah, yeah.
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And I'm already embarrassed.
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And he goes to the cash register and he presses a single button and a little receipt prints out, and he goes,$75.
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What?
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And because not only were they prepared for it to happen, but they had a button on the cash register to charge people for it.
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Like it was already, it wasn't like, I don't know how much this is gonna cost, you're gonna have to give me your insurance information, and then we'll find out.
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It was like, oh yeah, yeah, here comes the$75 charge, right?
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So I said, okay.
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And in my mind, I'm doing the mental calculus.
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And what I realized is that I will have enough money left over for one drink this night with my friend and nothing else for the next two weeks that is going on.
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Like this has depleted every extra thing that I have.
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Yeah, and so I give him my card and he charges it up.
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And as he hands me the receipt, he points to me again through the glass and goes, You need to pay more attention.
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Before I tell you how I respond in this moment, Evelyn, how would you respond to that?
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How would I respond to that?
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How would you respond to that?
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After all of that, and the guy points to you in the glass and says, You need to pay more attention.
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How would you respond?
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Knowing honestly, like you're asking me honestly, how I would respond to that.
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No, tell me a lie.
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Yes, I'm asking honestly.
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I can tell me how Heather would respond to it.
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Oh, Heather and I would respond the same.
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We would cry.
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I would cry.
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If someone was that angry at me and I knew I was doing right by something, but they continued to be that angry, and I was, I had the same spirit you did, where I'm like, Yeah, I'll pay for it.
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Yeah, I know.
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Like I this is my this is on me.
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Like, obviously.
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Uh, if they were like, you need to pay more attention, I would probably I would have teared up and I probably would have clammed up and just said, like, I know, I know, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
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Like, I know that's exactly how I would have responded.
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Okay.
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So how did you respond, Nick?
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What I did was I walked to the first shelf that was closest to me with all the chips on it.
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Oh no.
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And I put my hand against the first bag of chips, and I just walked slowly down the aisle, unshelving all of the chips onto the floor.
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And then I walked back to the front of the line and I put my hand on the middle shelf with all the chips, and I just walked backwards, sustaining eye contact with a guy, and knocked all of the chips on the floor.
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You you seriously did that?
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And then I walked to the cooler and I'm looking at him over my shoulder, sustaining eye contact, and I opened it, and I put my fingers on the first 20-ounce bottle of soda, and I just flipped it out onto the floor, and it like bounced boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
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What?
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Over and over.
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And he's freaking out.
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He's just yelling, right?
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And I'm just unshelving thing after thing after thing.
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And then I walked over to the newsstand where all the newspapers were because we had the recycler back then, right?
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And I just opened the recycler and I took the first page and I just unhinged it from the rest of the thing and just tossed it on the ground.
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And I just page by page took this newspaper part and was just doing it.
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So he can't come out from behind the glass.
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So he's freaking out.
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I'm calling the police, I'm calling the police, right?
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And I went over to the to the car part section, the motor oil section.
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No, delicately took the cap off the motor oil and I just set it on its side so it would just delicately.
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You did not, you did not onto the floor, right?
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Okay.
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By this point, he is just screaming.
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The kids outside are like a cape, their mouths are hanging open.
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Like mine is right now?
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Yeah, right.
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I'm and and I went out to my car, I had my guitar in the back, and I went out and I got it, and I brought it in, and I set the case down on the ground, and I got the guitar out.
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And I played the most beautiful version of Blister in the Sun you've ever heard in your life.
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No, of course, Evelyn.
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I did none of that.
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Oh my gosh.
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I was like, Thank you.
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I mean, your reaction made it all worth it.
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This is really ugly, Nick.
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I don't know if we want this.
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Although, I okay, I I would have believed the first row of chips.
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Like that, to me, the fact that you went back for a second row, I was like, oh my gosh.
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And it wasn't until you started flipping pop cans that I was like, I don't know.
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You bought it.
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You bought it.
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I did, but it was more like that's when I started to feel it get ugly.
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I was like, ooh, it was ugly.
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By the way, that whole story is ugly.
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But here's what actually happened.
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Deep, deep in my humiliation and in my resentment for the fact that this guy was charging me for something that was so obvious and that obviously happened so much that they had a button on the cash register for it.
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And already dealing with the humiliation of it, I set the I set the giant gas pump down on the the cable or the whatever it is, down on the thing, and I said, looked him in the eye and said, Sir, I think if anything has been illustrated by this incident where I drove off with the gas pump still in my car, it's that I need to pay more attention.
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And then I walked out and I met my friend for drinks.
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And then I grabbed one small bag of Doritos.
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This is mine now.
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I'm eating this.
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Yeah, lobbed it at a bulletproof glass.
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Okay, okay, wow.
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So my question for you, Evelyn, is what is the most stating the obvious moment you've ever experienced in your life?
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Oh, what a great.
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That is so good.
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That is so good.
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Uh you don't know, do you?
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Because you're weak.
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Because I'm weak and I'm I I mean, although I keep an account of all of my transgressions at the ready at all times.
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You sure do.
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I that's one thing I bring to all my friendships.
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The most stating the obvious.
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Really racking my brain here.
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I just need a sec.
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I just need a sec.
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No, take as long as you need.
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I have forever.
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Just looking at kittens on Reddit.
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The most stating the obvious.
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I keep getting stuck on one one story that I don't know if this actually fits.
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Okay.
00:14:13.840 --> 00:14:16.000
But I can't just I just keep going back to it.
00:14:16.159 --> 00:14:19.759
I'm not entirely I don't know if this actually fits your prompt, though.
00:14:20.000 --> 00:14:26.320
Why don't you do what any self-respecting person would do and insist that it does fit your my prompt and just go through it?
00:14:26.399 --> 00:14:30.159
I mean, it's we're not like I know, but I feel like be penalized here.
00:14:30.480 --> 00:14:36.960
So I I keep going back to my uh piano professor I had in university.
00:14:37.200 --> 00:14:45.440
Maybe this isn't a story so much about stating the obvious as it is about there being something very obvious that she completely missed the mark on.
00:14:45.600 --> 00:14:48.000
Like that's what I'm talking about sexual attraction, people.
00:14:48.320 --> 00:14:49.759
Okay, first of all.
00:14:50.399 --> 00:14:53.840
First of all, uh thick.
00:14:54.159 --> 00:14:58.720
I am yeah, because don't you find that older people have a real musk about them?
00:14:58.879 --> 00:15:00.960
Because that's the only kind of air musky.
00:15:01.440 --> 00:15:04.879
That's called pheromones, and sometimes they're so thick you cut them with a knife.
00:15:05.120 --> 00:15:06.559
Yeah, that's not happening here.
00:15:06.720 --> 00:15:15.440
And okay, so my prof in university was this astoundingly old woman, and she dressed.
00:15:15.919 --> 00:15:17.519
She was astoundingly old.
00:15:17.679 --> 00:15:19.679
How does a person get that old?
00:15:19.840 --> 00:15:23.200
She she's so old, she ought to be dead.
00:15:23.519 --> 00:15:26.240
You know, truer words of the just God would have killed her.
00:15:26.480 --> 00:15:28.720
She well, she's I mean, she's dead now.
00:15:28.960 --> 00:15:34.320
So, you know, we got there eventually, but she she was quite old when she was my professor.
00:15:34.639 --> 00:15:38.799
And every week I had a lesson with her every week, a one-on-one.
00:15:39.519 --> 00:15:41.519
And she was terrifying.
00:15:41.679 --> 00:15:46.559
Uh, she was incredibly out of touch with the world around her.
00:15:46.720 --> 00:15:50.480
I mean, a lot of musicians kind of are.
00:15:50.639 --> 00:15:55.759
It's almost like the more brilliant you are, the less attuned to the world you are.
00:15:55.919 --> 00:15:57.519
You know, there is kind of especially classical music.
00:15:57.919 --> 00:15:58.559
August rush.
00:15:58.799 --> 00:16:02.399
Like that's exactly what I really was hoping.
00:16:02.559 --> 00:16:05.039
Yeah, that's exactly that's the best example of that for sure.
00:16:05.120 --> 00:16:08.320
And the most realistic example by you know, Bar Nunn.
00:16:08.720 --> 00:16:12.240
And so I had this older lady as a as a prof.
00:16:12.559 --> 00:16:15.600
She was apparently a brilliant pianist.
00:16:15.840 --> 00:16:19.279
I saw her perform a couple times, and I actually didn't get it.
00:16:19.519 --> 00:16:22.080
Like, I'm gonna be honest here, I didn't really get it.
00:16:22.240 --> 00:16:26.000
I had taken lessons with her uh three years actually.
00:16:26.159 --> 00:16:32.639
I remember third year being a really great year uh for me in terms of my performance level.
00:16:32.799 --> 00:16:37.440
I started to really understand Bach when I was playing Bach.
00:16:37.600 --> 00:16:45.440
And they the the pieces were long and they were complex, but in a way they were formulaic.
00:16:45.600 --> 00:16:50.159
I mean, Bach is there's a reason he's as well known as he is.
00:16:50.320 --> 00:16:54.639
It's just like mechanically speaking, absolutely in the stratosphere.
00:16:54.799 --> 00:17:01.440
So I was finally starting to understand the mechanics and the and the form and all of this kind of stuff, so that when I played it, it made sense to me.
00:17:01.519 --> 00:17:05.680
And it wasn't just a, I'm just playing some notes, please help me remember this.
00:17:05.759 --> 00:17:07.279
I actually locked into a bunch of stuff.
00:17:07.359 --> 00:17:08.880
So there's this one piece I was learning.
00:17:08.960 --> 00:17:10.880
Uh, it's called the Italian concerto.
00:17:11.119 --> 00:17:11.440
Okay.
00:17:11.839 --> 00:17:18.400
And it's a three-movement piece, and I had started learning the third movement, and then I had eventually backed up and moved, learned the other two.
00:17:18.480 --> 00:17:20.960
But the third movement just moves.
00:17:21.119 --> 00:17:23.519
Like that thing is a non-stop train.
00:17:23.599 --> 00:17:29.680
Once you start, your fingers are going the whole time, and there's repeated sections and there's development of it, and it's awesome.
00:17:29.839 --> 00:17:31.119
And I had memorized it.
00:17:31.200 --> 00:17:32.319
This was a huge thing for me.
00:17:32.400 --> 00:17:35.359
So I had memorized it, and I was ready to play this for her.
00:17:35.440 --> 00:17:38.559
I want you to understand that in most of my lessons, I was just trying to kill time.
00:17:38.720 --> 00:17:39.039
Okay.
00:17:39.359 --> 00:17:44.799
I could get her distracted by asking her, like, she loved writing on my music.
00:17:44.880 --> 00:17:46.240
And I love writing on music too.
00:17:46.319 --> 00:17:47.279
I think it's really helpful.
00:17:47.519 --> 00:17:51.519
Uh it's so, no, I don't mean scratching over it with a sharpie nick.
00:17:51.599 --> 00:17:53.440
I mean actually like writing things that are helpful.
00:17:53.839 --> 00:17:58.559
Sometimes I just get a concerto, Italian or otherwise, and I'm like, I'm just gonna mark this thing up.
00:17:58.640 --> 00:17:59.839
I just do it, dude.
00:17:59.920 --> 00:18:04.319
Um by the end of it, I have learned a little something about myself.
00:18:04.559 --> 00:18:05.680
You know what I'm gonna do?
00:18:06.000 --> 00:18:11.039
As soon as this call's done, I'm I'm sending you a copy of the Italian concerto and a pack of sharpies.
00:18:11.119 --> 00:18:12.880
And I just want to see you go to town.
00:18:13.119 --> 00:18:14.559
And I'm I'm gonna ask you what you learned.
00:18:14.640 --> 00:18:17.759
I'm gonna, I'm gonna overnight that thing to you, and you're gonna report back.
00:18:18.000 --> 00:18:19.039
I accept the challenge.
00:18:19.680 --> 00:18:23.599
So this this woman in uh in her studio, I want to paint a picture a little bit.
00:18:23.680 --> 00:18:29.599
There are two grand pianos at the far end of the studio side by side, so she could play and then I could play, and then we would, you know, learn.
00:18:29.759 --> 00:18:41.279
And then there was her desk near the front, and she would sit in her office chair with the the door would be closed, and she would sit right in front of the door, like there was no escaping.
00:18:41.440 --> 00:18:48.799
And something you learn as a teacher, like you learn in teachers' college, is it is that you should never at any point block the door from your students, right?
00:18:48.880 --> 00:18:59.200
You always want to feel students, parents, whoever, anyone, you always want them to feel like they have uh a way to get out of the room without you being in the way, or you never want anyone to feel trapped.
00:18:59.279 --> 00:19:04.160
Well, let me tell you, I felt trapped like a minx in a wirebox.
00:19:04.480 --> 00:19:06.240
Like a minx in a wirebox.
00:19:06.480 --> 00:19:07.200
You should have said minks.
00:19:07.680 --> 00:19:08.079
Like a mink.
00:19:08.880 --> 00:19:17.440
Like a minx like a like a slutty mammal, just just strutting her stuff right into the trap.
00:19:17.680 --> 00:19:22.559
And that person's like, I'm not gonna use you for sex, I'm gonna use you for your pelt.
00:19:22.960 --> 00:19:25.119
You trapped little minx.
00:19:26.240 --> 00:19:27.200
I love that.
00:19:27.599 --> 00:19:29.200
That's the part of the story I was waiting for.
00:19:29.279 --> 00:19:30.000
Okay, tell me more.
00:19:30.400 --> 00:19:34.400
Only I only mess up like this around you.
00:19:34.559 --> 00:19:35.200
I'm not kidding.
00:19:35.519 --> 00:19:38.640
Obviously, only when them only when the microphones are rolling, right?
00:19:38.880 --> 00:19:40.000
No, no, you.
00:19:40.160 --> 00:19:42.240
Not even this could be not even mic'd.
00:19:42.319 --> 00:19:47.440
And I would say because I know you're listening and waiting.
00:19:47.759 --> 00:19:49.839
I am listening and waiting.
00:19:50.160 --> 00:19:51.279
I am okay.
00:19:51.440 --> 00:19:54.000
So uh like a there you are, like a mic.
00:19:56.079 --> 00:19:56.799
Trapped.
00:19:57.039 --> 00:20:02.640
Yes, she's front of the door, and that that was our typical lesson format.
00:20:02.799 --> 00:20:13.599
And I would get her distracted by asking her to help me label the phrasing, the fingering patterns of you know, anything in music, and we could chew away a whole hour like that, and I will have played almost nothing.
00:20:13.839 --> 00:20:18.000
Like I was so scared of her that I didn't even want to play for her.
00:20:18.160 --> 00:20:20.400
So that was about three years of that.
00:20:20.960 --> 00:20:32.880
And her sitting in front of the door, me being trapped, and you know, in my leather harness and just playing there it is, in my leather harness, just playing, okay, for her.
00:20:33.119 --> 00:20:36.319
So one day in my third year, I'm actually ready.
00:20:36.480 --> 00:20:39.839
I'm ready, I'm like, I'm gonna perform this and it's gonna be great.
00:20:40.000 --> 00:20:45.440
And I feel confident, and she's not even gonna stop me because I can play this thing by memory with my eyes closed.
00:20:45.680 --> 00:20:53.839
In this in this outfit, in this, in this outfit with these tassels.
00:20:54.079 --> 00:20:56.160
Yeah, absolutely, yeah.
00:20:56.400 --> 00:20:57.599
And I'm ready to go.
00:20:57.839 --> 00:21:03.599
So I the the format was that you would wait outside the door till she was done with the other student.
00:21:04.079 --> 00:21:16.400
So he'd come out, I'd wait there, and but this time she opened the door and she wore those white blouses with the frilly, like the big lace collars on them that maybe older women would wear in the 80s.
00:21:16.720 --> 00:21:19.519
God, is everybody in this department like a total slut or what?
00:21:19.759 --> 00:21:20.400
Yeah, okay.
00:21:20.559 --> 00:21:28.799
So it's a it's a yes, that's all that's just rolls in and her ruffles and her ruffles and stirrups.
00:21:28.960 --> 00:21:30.480
This is what the whole faculty is like.
00:21:30.559 --> 00:21:31.599
It's a piano thing.
00:21:31.839 --> 00:21:32.640
Okay, right?
00:21:32.960 --> 00:21:35.680
Look at you over there playing the guitar super wholesome.
00:21:35.759 --> 00:21:36.000
Okay.
00:21:36.319 --> 00:21:39.680
No, nothing respect ourselves and our bodies in the guitar department.
00:21:39.920 --> 00:21:42.160
Piano majors don't, not for one second.
00:21:42.480 --> 00:21:55.119
So she opens the door, and today she's wearing this with again the white polyester blouse, but it's got a massive red pasta sauce stain right on the collar.
00:21:55.359 --> 00:21:55.839
Oh, okay.
00:21:56.000 --> 00:21:57.920
And and this is not one of those little collars.
00:21:58.000 --> 00:21:59.759
This is the collar that looks like it's.
00:22:00.079 --> 00:22:06.960
It's it's large, so that it's kind of floppy, but it's a huge spaghetti stain on it, like red pasta stain.
00:22:07.440 --> 00:22:15.599
She opens the door, hello Evelyn, and I must have glanced at it and I was like, Hey, I'm I'm re I'm here, I'm ready.
00:22:15.759 --> 00:22:17.440
She's like, Come on in and get seated.
00:22:17.680 --> 00:22:21.200
It was apparent to me very quickly that she had no idea that was there.
00:22:21.440 --> 00:22:23.680
Oh no, not a clue.
00:22:23.839 --> 00:22:25.119
And it was hard to miss.
00:22:25.279 --> 00:22:27.680
So anyway, so she said, What are we doing today?
00:22:27.759 --> 00:22:28.319
I said, I'm ready.
00:22:28.400 --> 00:22:29.920
I want to play the Italian concerto.
00:22:30.160 --> 00:22:32.559
Third movement by memory, I'm ready for it.
00:22:32.720 --> 00:22:33.680
What are you laughing at?
00:22:33.839 --> 00:22:36.000
But it's the Italian concerto and she has a pasta.
00:22:36.640 --> 00:22:39.119
Oh I've never made that connection.
00:22:39.359 --> 00:22:44.160
Yeah, you're like the Italian, I mean the concerto, the uh yeah, just the regular concerto that we're playing.
00:22:44.240 --> 00:22:45.039
That's all right.
00:22:45.119 --> 00:22:48.000
I'm ready to play the marinara, the Italian concerto.
00:22:48.240 --> 00:22:52.720
The Italian third, third movement, the Arabia.
00:22:52.960 --> 00:22:55.200
I mean the Italian concerto, right?
00:22:55.519 --> 00:22:56.559
So she's okay.
00:22:56.640 --> 00:23:05.119
So I sit there, I get myself centered, she's backed up against the door, sitting slurping on a plate of spaghetti, just slurping on her zoodles.
00:23:05.200 --> 00:23:05.599
Yeah.
00:23:05.920 --> 00:23:13.119
And I start, and I have never played that thing in that room as well as I did that day.
00:23:13.200 --> 00:23:14.319
I know that in my heart.
00:23:14.480 --> 00:23:15.680
I was so, I felt good.
00:23:15.759 --> 00:23:19.680
I hit that last chord and I was like, that's how we do it.
00:23:19.839 --> 00:23:21.119
That is how we do it.
00:23:21.279 --> 00:23:33.279
And I look over to her and she's over there, sitting the same in the same chair, same posture, except she's now face down, face down, looking at her collar, just staring at it.
00:23:33.759 --> 00:23:36.079
Doesn't even, I don't, I'm not even there to her.
00:23:36.160 --> 00:23:37.359
She's staring at her collar.
00:23:37.519 --> 00:23:41.599
And then she looks at me and goes, Was that there the whole time?
00:23:42.319 --> 00:23:44.319
She didn't hear the thing I played.
00:23:45.039 --> 00:23:47.440
And I said, What thing?
00:23:47.519 --> 00:23:51.680
What the oh gosh, that I I didn't even notice.
00:23:52.000 --> 00:23:54.160
And she said, I'll be right back.
00:23:54.240 --> 00:23:55.920
I'm going to see if I can wipe it off.
00:23:56.240 --> 00:23:57.119
You keep playing.
00:23:57.519 --> 00:23:59.279
So she leaves the studio.
00:23:59.599 --> 00:24:02.880
And I'm just like, from the top, I guess.
00:24:03.119 --> 00:24:04.000
So I'm playing it.
00:24:04.319 --> 00:24:06.880
She comes back about 15 minutes later.
00:24:07.200 --> 00:24:16.559
And I don't know if you know what taking something bright red and putting it on white polyester and then adding a bunch of water to it would do.
00:24:16.960 --> 00:24:17.519
Not a spread.
00:24:17.680 --> 00:24:19.440
I assume it makes it bigger and redder, right?
00:24:20.079 --> 00:24:26.559
She looked like she had happened upon the Warren G craps game when she came back.
00:24:26.880 --> 00:24:27.680
Oh, oh, oh, yeah.
00:24:27.839 --> 00:24:38.319
Her shirt was her blouse was not only soaking wet, it was also now if it was the size of, let's say it was like the donut shop scene from Boogie Nights.
00:24:42.240 --> 00:24:48.720
It was honestly now a quarter, like whereas it was probably the size of a maybe a like a Reese's pieces before.
00:24:48.799 --> 00:24:49.920
Like, or sorry, a Reese's.
00:24:50.079 --> 00:24:50.799
Like a Reese's.
00:24:52.240 --> 00:24:52.799
It could have been.
00:24:52.880 --> 00:24:56.640
It was, it was, it was fairly small, but size of a Reese's before.
00:24:56.960 --> 00:25:02.079
Now it was taking up no like probably a third of her entire top.
00:25:02.400 --> 00:25:06.960
It was pink, it was bright red in the middle, but it had spread all the way out.
00:25:07.039 --> 00:25:12.720
It was covering one entire breast, half of her rib cage, and it was now onto one of her sleeves.
00:25:13.119 --> 00:25:15.680
And she said, There, I I think that's better.
00:25:15.839 --> 00:25:18.160
And I said, I think so too.
00:25:18.799 --> 00:25:19.839
It was so obvious.
00:25:20.000 --> 00:25:22.000
The best part was my lessons were in the morning.
00:25:23.279 --> 00:25:32.400
So I knew that she was spending the rest of her day in this pasta sauce soiled.
00:25:33.039 --> 00:25:34.960
It was so obvious.
00:25:35.200 --> 00:25:43.039
And she didn't even notice until I was having one of the best musical moments of my entire life up to that point.
00:25:43.359 --> 00:25:44.240
It was so Italian.
00:25:45.920 --> 00:25:48.559
She got in touch with the Italian that was all over her.
00:25:48.799 --> 00:25:49.039
Yeah.
00:25:49.519 --> 00:25:52.799
And trust me, that would have been the only Italian that would have been all over her.
00:25:53.119 --> 00:25:57.279
If I can be if I may be really honest.
00:25:57.519 --> 00:25:58.400
So I don't know.
00:25:58.480 --> 00:26:04.880
It's not so much a, you know, thanks, Captain Obvious kind of moment, which is also a saying we said in high school all the time.
00:26:05.039 --> 00:26:06.559
Thanks, Captain Obvious, right?
00:26:07.039 --> 00:26:14.960
But it was more of a I don't understand, like I don't understand how she didn't notice it because it was the first thing I saw when she opened the door.
00:26:15.279 --> 00:26:15.599
Yeah.
00:26:15.920 --> 00:26:19.759
But it does tell me a lot about her attention to detail.
00:26:20.240 --> 00:26:29.039
And she was so detailed when it came to, you know, piano performance, but had no awareness of her own person.
00:26:29.359 --> 00:26:30.880
Yeah, that's kind of what it seems like.
00:26:30.960 --> 00:26:32.960
And then the weirdness of like the oh, that's better.
00:26:33.119 --> 00:26:36.400
It's like, no, and it was never you had no capacity to make it better.
00:26:36.480 --> 00:26:37.519
It is a white shirt.
00:26:37.920 --> 00:26:41.440
Nothing you were gonna do, save for going to a dry cleaner, was gonna make that better.
00:26:41.920 --> 00:26:47.279
What you have to do is you either have to take take the rest of the day off or you have to accept that you have a big stain.
00:26:47.839 --> 00:26:55.759
Yeah, and you're gonna bring it up, and your next student's gonna come up and go, by the way, ignore the the obvious bullet wound on my uh laval on my chest here.
00:26:55.920 --> 00:26:59.440
Yeah, just got a little too deep into the into the ravioli there.
00:26:59.759 --> 00:27:06.480
Um I'm not gonna leave for 15 minutes of an hour lesson and focus on scrubbing my shirt and say, you play.
00:27:07.119 --> 00:27:08.319
And you and just you play.
00:27:08.880 --> 00:27:13.279
And I I mean, I was my blood pressure was probably back down when she was out of that room.
00:27:13.599 --> 00:27:13.759
Sure.
00:27:14.240 --> 00:27:18.079
But she she was really quite the character.
00:27:18.400 --> 00:27:20.079
She was a teacher that just was never in tune.
00:27:20.400 --> 00:27:24.160
Like it was like, you need to play this because it's Bach and everybody plays Bach.
00:27:24.400 --> 00:27:33.440
As a piano major, you should, if you're taking classical lessons and going to university for it, you probably should be able to play a little Bach because that's like the founding father of keyboard pedagogy.
00:27:33.920 --> 00:27:39.759
But I digress because now I'm seeing your eyeballs do what mine did when you're talking about rolling a seven.
00:27:40.160 --> 00:27:47.519
I just hear all these people taking classical music so seriously, and I just think, do you all hear yourselves?
00:27:48.559 --> 00:27:49.759
I get such a joy.
00:27:50.559 --> 00:27:52.960
It's literally written on the page how you're supposed to play it.
00:27:53.279 --> 00:28:00.000
They write the tempo, they write the notes, they write what how many pieces it's supposed to take up.
00:28:00.160 --> 00:28:04.880
Like it's literally written on the page, but they're like, no, no, no, oh, it's so different.
00:28:04.960 --> 00:28:06.640
This interpretation of this versus this.
00:28:07.200 --> 00:28:11.039
And all I hear as the listener is little tinkling pianos.
00:28:11.759 --> 00:28:12.640
You know what's interesting?
00:28:12.720 --> 00:28:22.559
I think you would hear, if I picked two incredibly uh different performers, uh I think you actually would notice a difference in the in the interpretation of the piece.
00:28:23.200 --> 00:28:39.440
You compare this to the the Vegas experience, and I want to say that like it is true that from a financial standpoint, uh, learning to play classical music is a thousand times better than gambling, even if you are not, you know, even if you get a shitty job where you're just, you know, like playing at malls and stuff, that sucks.
00:28:39.519 --> 00:28:41.680
But like still a better idea than gambling.
00:28:42.160 --> 00:29:02.799
But I just want to point out to you that like a comparable experience would be you go to Vegas, somebody brings you a free drink, you're buzzed, there's people all around you, you throw the dice, everybody at the table cheers for you, pats you on the back, somebody hands you some free money, you go, you spend it, you walk around in the hot sun, you get drunker and drunker.
00:29:03.200 --> 00:29:05.599
Doesn't that sound better than Bach?
00:29:07.039 --> 00:29:08.319
Doesn't that sound better?
00:29:08.880 --> 00:29:10.400
No, not at all.
00:29:10.799 --> 00:29:12.799
An acrobatic piano exercise?
00:29:12.960 --> 00:29:15.119
Like, to me, it's not even the same.
00:29:15.759 --> 00:29:17.279
I think you can't compare them.
00:29:18.000 --> 00:29:36.240
To me, the most fun experience that we've talked about all day, the one that I would like for myself above all, is the one where I get to watch that strange professor realize that she has an stain on her thing and then come back in with it, having increased fourfold in size and go, that's better, right?
00:29:36.559 --> 00:29:37.519
Yeah, that wasn't it.
00:29:37.680 --> 00:29:38.640
Like, what if you told her the truth?
00:29:38.799 --> 00:29:42.880
You'd said, No, honestly, you need to take that to a dry cleaner, you are just spreading it and making it worse.
00:29:42.960 --> 00:29:44.559
Or what if she'd said, has that been on the whole time?
00:29:44.640 --> 00:29:46.400
And you go, Yeah, how did you not see it?
00:29:46.480 --> 00:29:48.079
Did you get any of your lunch in your mouth?
00:29:48.319 --> 00:29:56.640
Like, what would that be sometimes I mean, and I'm in therapy, which is generally like an honesty field, although we're nicer than I just was in the thing.
00:29:56.720 --> 00:29:58.480
Like, what would it have been like to tell her the truth?
00:29:58.880 --> 00:30:03.599
I think she would have eaten me like a female mantis, like a female maids.
00:30:04.000 --> 00:30:12.960
I think although I was not her mate, she would have she would have just eaten me and left a few of my feelers out for the remaining ants that are in the area.
00:30:13.359 --> 00:30:13.680
Wow.
00:30:14.079 --> 00:30:15.279
She sounds terrifying.
00:30:15.599 --> 00:30:16.480
She was terrifying.
00:30:16.640 --> 00:30:19.920
Yeah, I was scared most of those three years for sure.
00:30:20.000 --> 00:30:21.359
I cried every lesson.
00:30:21.599 --> 00:30:27.200
And yet generally, when the door opened for the next student, uh the next student would see me crying.
00:30:27.440 --> 00:30:27.759
Oh wow.
00:30:27.839 --> 00:30:30.319
Okay, that's like until you forgot to this is what you're getting.
00:30:30.640 --> 00:30:31.519
So you're standing there.
00:30:31.599 --> 00:30:33.279
So the it's the end of the lesson comes.
00:30:33.359 --> 00:30:36.559
You're there and Spikey's in a fucking boostia, sobbing.
00:30:36.880 --> 00:30:37.759
Just bawling.
00:30:39.200 --> 00:30:40.079
Just bawling.
00:30:40.160 --> 00:30:43.359
And that has become just a normal Wednesday for me if I'm dressed up.
00:30:43.680 --> 00:30:44.319
Yeah, yeah.
00:30:44.480 --> 00:30:46.319
I mean, whatever.
00:30:46.400 --> 00:30:47.599
It's it's gone now.
00:30:47.680 --> 00:30:49.680
There's way more things to talk about in therapy than that.
00:30:49.759 --> 00:30:50.720
Uh get in line.
00:30:51.039 --> 00:30:53.839
I thank you for bringing your sad musical victimhood into this podcast.
00:30:54.160 --> 00:30:55.680
Oh, anytime our listeners do.
00:30:55.839 --> 00:31:08.799
I want to challenge you, Evelyn, as we draw this episode to a close, to give the audience a and me, because I'll listen to this, a nice little passage at the end of this podcast of what is in that movement of Bach that is really special.
00:31:08.960 --> 00:31:11.039
And I'm not even being silly, I'm not breaking your balls here.
00:31:11.119 --> 00:31:18.480
Like, I would love to hear just a little snippet of what makes it so exciting and so special at the end of this podcast.
00:31:18.559 --> 00:31:21.359
And you can append that on there or you can not append that on there, but you know.
00:31:21.759 --> 00:31:24.480
Oh, and I'll tell you right now what makes it so special.
00:31:24.720 --> 00:31:25.519
No, I want to hear it.
00:31:25.599 --> 00:31:26.319
I want to hear it.
00:31:26.799 --> 00:31:28.240
Oh, you want me to like sing it?
00:31:28.640 --> 00:31:30.480
No, I mean that's actually super badass.
00:31:30.559 --> 00:31:39.119
But no, what I was saying is like you could get one of the hundreds of public domain recordings of this thing and just include like a 30-second snippet of like, by the way, this is Nick is an asshole.
00:31:39.359 --> 00:31:44.240
Gambling is stupid, and this is what makes Bach somebody we still talk about after 500 years.
00:31:44.640 --> 00:31:45.200
Oh, sounds great.
00:31:45.279 --> 00:31:46.000
I'll do it, no problem.
00:31:46.400 --> 00:31:47.680
Yeah, yeah, of course I will.
00:31:48.400 --> 00:31:50.720
And I'm gonna send you the recording personally.
00:31:51.200 --> 00:31:52.640
So I can listen to all 85 minutes.
00:31:53.119 --> 00:31:55.680
Nope, only third movement, only the third movement.
00:31:55.759 --> 00:32:00.160
I'm only gonna send you the third movement, and I want you to commit to listening to it.
00:32:00.240 --> 00:32:01.119
It's only a couple minutes.
00:32:01.359 --> 00:32:01.519
Okay.
00:32:01.759 --> 00:32:03.759
It's only a few minutes, definitely less than five.
00:32:04.079 --> 00:32:10.799
And I want you to listen to it, but instead of being like, this is garbage, I want you to be like, I know somebody that can play this.
00:32:10.960 --> 00:32:11.759
I can play this.
00:32:12.000 --> 00:32:12.240
Okay.
00:32:12.400 --> 00:32:12.640
Yeah.
00:32:12.799 --> 00:32:13.839
I could probably pick it up.
00:32:13.920 --> 00:32:16.720
It would take me a little while to kind of get back into it, but like it's in there.
00:32:16.799 --> 00:32:20.319
Like, and it's in and it's in F major, but I'm gonna send it to you when we're done recording.
00:32:20.559 --> 00:32:22.799
I will be even prouder to know you than I am.
00:32:23.119 --> 00:32:23.920
Oh, that's really nice.
00:32:24.000 --> 00:32:24.640
That's really nice.
00:32:24.799 --> 00:32:26.720
Okay, well, just wrap this up.
00:32:27.039 --> 00:32:29.759
Folks, we love podcasting.
00:32:29.839 --> 00:32:30.880
We love restoring peace.
00:32:30.960 --> 00:32:31.359
We love you.
00:32:31.440 --> 00:32:32.160
We're so glad you're here.
00:32:32.240 --> 00:32:33.839
Thank you for enduring all of my bullshit.
00:32:34.000 --> 00:32:34.960
And you're welcome.
00:32:35.279 --> 00:32:36.079
Squeezing the squeeze.
00:32:36.240 --> 00:32:43.440
No, you're you have to, but squeezing the Evelyn's artistic juice from my nasty gasoline-soaked uh revenge fruit.
00:32:43.680 --> 00:32:44.160
We love you.
00:32:44.240 --> 00:32:45.279
Uh, thank you for listening.
00:32:45.359 --> 00:32:50.160
Please like and subscribe and write us a review and recommend us to everybody that you know and be nice to each other.
00:32:50.319 --> 00:32:52.880
Um, forgive the country on the other side of the border.
00:32:52.960 --> 00:32:57.440
Don't possess firearms and take your blouse to a dry cleaner.
00:32:57.519 --> 00:33:00.079
And take your fucking blouse to a dry cleaner.
00:00:00.320 --> 00:00:07.679
It's revolution.
00:00:07.919 --> 00:00:12.320
You did your best, Evelyn, and sometimes our best isn't good enough, and we all have to live with that.
00:00:12.560 --> 00:00:14.640
At this point, I'm at a like a 50-50.
00:00:14.720 --> 00:00:16.239
It's really good enough or it's not.
00:00:16.320 --> 00:00:22.320
And I can't I can't tell which it's gonna be when I embark on giving my best.
00:00:22.480 --> 00:00:23.600
It's a crapshoot.
00:00:23.760 --> 00:00:25.760
But you told me once gambling is fun.
00:00:25.920 --> 00:00:26.800
Crapshoots are fun.
00:00:27.039 --> 00:00:28.480
What is a crapshoot, Nick?
00:00:28.559 --> 00:00:39.039
What is a it's it's a dice game that you play uh in a casino or on the street corner if you're a war and G, um it's something you do right before killing a bunch of guys.
00:00:39.200 --> 00:00:45.840
I'm just gonna say, like, there's a lot of contexts, uh, some good, some bad, some legal, some not legal, in which a crapshoot might take place.
00:00:46.079 --> 00:00:47.520
Um, but it is a dice game.
00:00:47.679 --> 00:00:52.719
Um, my brother loves to play it in the casino setting, not in the um pre-Eastside Motel setting.
00:00:53.039 --> 00:00:54.159
Regulated setting.
00:00:54.479 --> 00:00:58.799
Yeah, it I find it, I find it to be positively inscrutable.
00:00:58.880 --> 00:01:00.000
I don't really know how it works.
00:01:00.079 --> 00:01:04.159
I've played it a little bit, and the first two or three times I played, I won so much money and was great.
00:01:04.239 --> 00:01:07.840
And I remember turning to my friend and saying, How does anybody lose at this?
00:01:07.920 --> 00:01:12.000
And he said, Oh god, people's whole lives have ended after saying what you just said.
00:01:12.239 --> 00:01:14.079
Oh, what's the point though?
00:01:17.439 --> 00:01:19.439
Hey, reverse jackass listeners.
00:01:19.599 --> 00:01:26.719
So at this exact moment, Nick is going on a one minute and 48-second explanation of how the game of craps works.
00:01:26.879 --> 00:01:31.120
And I'm gonna be honest, I didn't feel like editing it, making it sound sweet.
00:01:31.280 --> 00:01:38.799
So I just thought to put a little voiceover of myself in here to save you the pain that I had to endure listening to Nick talk about craps.
00:01:38.959 --> 00:01:43.519
But I will admit, I brought it on myself because I asked, what is the point?
00:01:43.760 --> 00:01:47.359
And spoiler alert, I still don't understand anything he said.
00:01:47.519 --> 00:01:49.439
So let's go back to the conversation.
00:01:50.480 --> 00:01:52.319
But at the end of the day, it's rolling dice.
00:01:52.640 --> 00:02:05.599
You know when when I talk about when I start talking about music theory, and something happens in your brain where you're hearing words and it's just not making making any sense.
00:02:05.840 --> 00:02:06.400
Does it make sense?
00:02:06.480 --> 00:02:06.799
Yeah.
00:02:07.040 --> 00:02:08.879
I think that's what just happened to me.
00:02:09.039 --> 00:02:12.639
I was all of a sudden like, what is happening in my brain?
00:02:12.719 --> 00:02:15.039
Like it felt like soup in there for a minute.
00:02:15.360 --> 00:02:17.599
So, okay, let me put it to you this way.
00:02:21.199 --> 00:02:21.520
Oh.
00:02:22.000 --> 00:02:24.080
Oh, you you you thought he was done?
00:02:24.560 --> 00:02:24.879
No.
00:02:25.439 --> 00:02:27.120
No, he he wasn't at all.
00:02:27.520 --> 00:02:30.879
I don't know how much of this is going into the podcast, but we should we should introduce it.
00:02:31.120 --> 00:02:32.000
We should introduce it.
00:02:32.080 --> 00:02:35.840
I'll probably keep just some of it, because I think some of it, some of it is good.
00:02:36.000 --> 00:02:38.240
I think I'll have to go back and listen to it.
00:02:40.240 --> 00:02:41.680
Well, some of it's good.
00:02:41.840 --> 00:02:42.159
Yeah.
00:02:42.400 --> 00:02:43.680
Some of it's ponderous.
00:02:43.919 --> 00:02:47.680
Some of it's ponderous, and what's the word for heavy?
00:02:48.080 --> 00:02:48.560
Heavy.
00:02:49.199 --> 00:02:50.319
Hmm, okay.
00:02:50.639 --> 00:02:52.240
I was thinking like starts with a P.
00:02:52.800 --> 00:02:53.919
Not pedantic.
00:02:54.159 --> 00:02:54.960
Pendulous.
00:02:55.120 --> 00:02:56.719
That's more swinging, though.
00:02:57.039 --> 00:02:57.680
Pendulous.
00:02:57.919 --> 00:02:59.039
Our pendulous podcast.
00:02:59.520 --> 00:03:04.080
Folks, welcome to Reverse Jackass, the Pendulous pontificating ponderous podcast.
00:03:04.319 --> 00:03:10.479
Um, uh starring one American and one Canadian, desperately trying to bring peace between their two countries.
00:03:10.639 --> 00:03:16.000
I'm Nick, the American counterpart, uh, and with me as always is Evelyn, the Canadian blade.
00:03:16.319 --> 00:03:17.439
The Canadian Blade.
00:03:17.599 --> 00:03:23.759
Um, and we are trying so hard to bring peace to the between our two countries.
00:03:23.919 --> 00:03:30.560
And I don't know, like we, I guess we, you know, we get in the weeds a lot, but I like to think it's all part of the big picture.
00:03:30.719 --> 00:03:33.360
It's basically us having conversations.
00:03:33.599 --> 00:03:37.280
We're gonna talk about some things, we're gonna make fun of each other a lot.
00:03:37.439 --> 00:03:39.280
Namely, Nick's gonna make fun of me.
00:03:39.360 --> 00:03:42.240
And it's probably because I'm gonna say something wrong.
00:03:43.039 --> 00:03:47.919
I mean, and I don't mean like say something morally wrong, I mean pronounce a word wrong.
00:03:48.080 --> 00:03:52.319
That's that's really where it's she saves the morally wrong stuff for when the when we're not recording.
00:03:52.560 --> 00:03:52.879
That's true.
00:03:53.039 --> 00:03:55.840
That's when that's when the shows up.
00:03:56.000 --> 00:04:00.080
Yeah, the Zoom recording can't even handle the stuff that comes out of my mouth.
00:04:00.240 --> 00:04:00.879
But we're trying.
00:04:00.960 --> 00:04:02.319
Nick and I are trying our best.
00:04:02.479 --> 00:04:04.479
We're so glad you're here listening to us.
00:04:04.719 --> 00:04:06.800
Um that's all that's all I have to say.
00:04:07.039 --> 00:04:08.159
And it's a nick day.
00:04:08.479 --> 00:04:09.360
It's a nick day.
00:04:09.439 --> 00:04:13.199
It's a Wednesday that we're recording, which means this episode goes out on a Thursday.
00:04:13.360 --> 00:04:19.360
It is a Nick day, and we started this episode speaking about gambling.
00:04:19.439 --> 00:04:25.279
So, in the true sense of gambling, Nick, what do you what uh it's a real gamble, what we're gonna talk about today.
00:04:25.360 --> 00:04:31.680
So I guess we want to pivot to a gambling story, but I have a different story for you today, which is this is a this is a story of gasoline.
00:04:31.920 --> 00:04:39.199
Um which is amazing because gasoline is at an all-time high here in the United States, yeah, and in Canada too.
00:04:39.360 --> 00:04:43.839
And um, and I want to hearken back to a time when gasoline was a little less expensive.
00:04:43.920 --> 00:04:45.839
And I'm talking about this was over 20 years ago.
00:04:45.920 --> 00:04:48.800
This would have been 2004, I think.
00:04:48.959 --> 00:04:54.959
I was living in West LA with my roommate Kelly, and I was working, I was a host at a restaurant.
00:04:55.040 --> 00:05:03.839
Um, I was making$11 an hour, and um, it was like, you know, sort of the salad days, like it was a lovely time, but a time without much money.
00:05:04.240 --> 00:05:11.040
You don't get to refer to anything as the salad days, given that your salads are currently giving people explosive diarrhea.
00:05:11.360 --> 00:05:15.439
So that's that seems like three better salads.
00:05:15.759 --> 00:05:17.199
They were sure, okay, fair.
00:05:17.279 --> 00:05:22.480
There was no diarrhea unless, you know, yeah, it wasn't as widespread as perhaps it is.
00:05:23.040 --> 00:05:26.480
Strong FDA back then, run by a by a bureaucrat.
00:05:26.560 --> 00:05:27.199
It was great.
00:05:27.439 --> 00:05:28.319
Oh, it was great.
00:05:28.480 --> 00:05:28.800
Okay.
00:05:29.040 --> 00:05:35.680
So back in this particular time, uh, I had uh a friend reach out to me who said, I'm gonna be in town.
00:05:35.839 --> 00:05:37.120
I wanna get drinks.
00:05:37.199 --> 00:05:38.720
Let's get drinks, come hang out with me.
00:05:38.800 --> 00:05:41.759
And we made the we made the plan for the for this particular Friday.
00:05:41.920 --> 00:05:46.160
And I was like, great, and I was so excited because that Friday I got paid.
00:05:46.639 --> 00:05:49.120
And it was a nominal amount of money.
00:05:49.199 --> 00:06:00.879
It wasn't a lot then, it surely wouldn't be a lot now, but it was enough where I had enough to fill my car with gas and I had enough to have a little bit left over to go get drinks with my friend and then some to float me for the next two weeks until the next paycheck.
00:06:00.959 --> 00:06:05.279
It was like that thing of like when you're not wealthy, but like you have enough and it's great.
00:06:05.360 --> 00:06:08.480
And I'm gonna get go get to see my friend from home, and I'm so excited.
00:06:08.560 --> 00:06:33.360
And so I pull off at this 76 station that was about a half mile from my apartment in West LA on Sentinella Boulevard, and I got out and I started um pumping the gas, and I went in to get a Coke, and I'm all excited because I got my Coke and I'm gonna drive to Hollywood, which is normally a chore, but I'm gonna see my friend and I get my big Coke and I pay the guy the buck fifty for the Coke, and then I walk out and I get in my car, and I drive off and I hear this.
00:06:34.560 --> 00:06:34.879
Uh oh.
00:06:35.600 --> 00:06:37.439
And I thought, what the fuck is that?
00:06:37.600 --> 00:06:42.959
And what the fuck that was was I had forgotten to take the hose out of my car.
00:06:43.199 --> 00:06:45.439
Oh, okay.
00:06:46.160 --> 00:06:49.600
And it had torn the hose out of the gas pump.
00:06:49.920 --> 00:06:50.560
Yeah.
00:06:50.959 --> 00:06:54.560
Which, by the way, was something it was set up to do.
00:06:54.639 --> 00:07:02.079
Like, you imagine if that happens, that there's gonna be like a massive like blast geyser of gas everywhere in a firehouse.
00:07:02.399 --> 00:07:02.800
Nope.
00:07:02.959 --> 00:07:05.439
It absolutely pulls off in one piece, no tearing.
00:07:05.519 --> 00:07:12.160
It's like one of those collars that you buy for your pets when you're worried about them strangling themselves, that if you pull hard enough, it'll just like pull off and then you can reattach it.
00:07:12.240 --> 00:07:13.439
That's what the gas pump was like.
00:07:13.519 --> 00:07:15.519
There they had already thought of that, right?
00:07:16.399 --> 00:07:24.399
So I stop and I get out of my car, and there's like three teenagers at this gas station, and they are laughing at me.
00:07:24.480 --> 00:07:25.040
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:07:25.120 --> 00:07:26.079
And I'm humiliated.
00:07:26.160 --> 00:07:27.839
I can't blame them for laughing at me.
00:07:28.240 --> 00:07:38.800
So I go and I get the gas pump and I like grab it, and it's like, I don't know, nine feet long, and I'm holding it like a dead snake, and I walk in to the gas station to the clerk.
00:07:38.879 --> 00:07:41.680
And again, this guy is a clerk at a gas station, right?
00:07:41.920 --> 00:07:42.079
Yeah.
00:07:42.480 --> 00:07:48.000
I think I think it doesn't merit a personal investment in this mistake that I made.
00:07:48.480 --> 00:07:53.040
No, but he was furious, he was hopping mad.
00:07:53.920 --> 00:07:57.199
And again, this is a piece that is clearly designed to come off.
00:07:57.360 --> 00:08:01.360
I haven't ruined the business, I haven't caused a fire hazard, there's nothing.
00:08:01.519 --> 00:08:04.959
This is a thing that is clearly they knew this was gonna happen and they set it up.
00:08:05.120 --> 00:08:14.800
And I said, I'm so sorry I did this thing, and uh, you know, I I drove off with this thing, and he he points at me through the glass and goes, You're gonna have to pay for that.
00:08:15.120 --> 00:08:17.279
And I was like, Of course, of course.
00:08:17.759 --> 00:08:18.560
Right, right, right.
00:08:18.800 --> 00:08:21.279
Like, I came in with it, I didn't speed off.
00:08:21.600 --> 00:08:24.079
Of course, I have to make this right, right?
00:08:24.160 --> 00:08:24.639
Yeah, yeah.
00:08:25.120 --> 00:08:26.399
And I'm already embarrassed.
00:08:27.360 --> 00:08:33.759
And he goes to the cash register and he presses a single button and a little receipt prints out, and he goes,$75.
00:08:34.480 --> 00:08:34.879
What?
00:08:35.519 --> 00:08:42.639
And because not only were they prepared for it to happen, but they had a button on the cash register to charge people for it.
00:08:42.799 --> 00:08:47.600
Like it was already, it wasn't like, I don't know how much this is gonna cost, you're gonna have to give me your insurance information, and then we'll find out.
00:08:47.679 --> 00:08:51.759
It was like, oh yeah, yeah, here comes the$75 charge, right?
00:08:52.080 --> 00:08:54.320
So I said, okay.
00:08:54.720 --> 00:08:57.200
And in my mind, I'm doing the mental calculus.
00:08:57.279 --> 00:09:05.679
And what I realized is that I will have enough money left over for one drink this night with my friend and nothing else for the next two weeks that is going on.
00:09:05.759 --> 00:09:08.080
Like this has depleted every extra thing that I have.
00:09:08.240 --> 00:09:10.879
Yeah, and so I give him my card and he charges it up.
00:09:10.960 --> 00:09:17.120
And as he hands me the receipt, he points to me again through the glass and goes, You need to pay more attention.
00:09:19.279 --> 00:09:24.399
Before I tell you how I respond in this moment, Evelyn, how would you respond to that?
00:09:24.639 --> 00:09:25.840
How would I respond to that?
00:09:26.000 --> 00:09:26.799
How would you respond to that?
00:09:26.960 --> 00:09:30.240
After all of that, and the guy points to you in the glass and says, You need to pay more attention.
00:09:30.320 --> 00:09:31.039
How would you respond?
00:09:31.279 --> 00:09:34.320
Knowing honestly, like you're asking me honestly, how I would respond to that.
00:09:34.559 --> 00:09:35.360
No, tell me a lie.
00:09:35.440 --> 00:09:36.320
Yes, I'm asking honestly.
00:09:36.559 --> 00:09:38.240
I can tell me how Heather would respond to it.
00:09:39.039 --> 00:09:40.720
Oh, Heather and I would respond the same.
00:09:40.799 --> 00:09:41.360
We would cry.
00:09:41.600 --> 00:09:42.240
I would cry.
00:09:42.399 --> 00:09:51.759
If someone was that angry at me and I knew I was doing right by something, but they continued to be that angry, and I was, I had the same spirit you did, where I'm like, Yeah, I'll pay for it.
00:09:51.840 --> 00:09:52.399
Yeah, I know.
00:09:52.480 --> 00:09:54.559
Like I this is my this is on me.
00:09:54.720 --> 00:09:55.840
Like, obviously.
00:09:56.000 --> 00:10:04.559
Uh, if they were like, you need to pay more attention, I would probably I would have teared up and I probably would have clammed up and just said, like, I know, I know, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:10:04.639 --> 00:10:06.960
Like, I know that's exactly how I would have responded.
00:10:07.120 --> 00:10:07.440
Okay.
00:10:07.759 --> 00:10:09.360
So how did you respond, Nick?
00:10:09.679 --> 00:10:15.519
What I did was I walked to the first shelf that was closest to me with all the chips on it.
00:10:15.600 --> 00:10:15.919
Oh no.
00:10:16.240 --> 00:10:26.639
And I put my hand against the first bag of chips, and I just walked slowly down the aisle, unshelving all of the chips onto the floor.
00:10:26.799 --> 00:10:37.519
And then I walked back to the front of the line and I put my hand on the middle shelf with all the chips, and I just walked backwards, sustaining eye contact with a guy, and knocked all of the chips on the floor.
00:10:38.000 --> 00:10:39.279
You you seriously did that?
00:10:39.440 --> 00:10:51.039
And then I walked to the cooler and I'm looking at him over my shoulder, sustaining eye contact, and I opened it, and I put my fingers on the first 20-ounce bottle of soda, and I just flipped it out onto the floor, and it like bounced boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
00:10:51.200 --> 00:10:51.360
What?
00:10:52.080 --> 00:10:52.799
Over and over.
00:10:52.879 --> 00:10:53.840
And he's freaking out.
00:10:54.000 --> 00:10:54.879
He's just yelling, right?
00:10:54.960 --> 00:10:59.519
And I'm just unshelving thing after thing after thing.
00:10:59.679 --> 00:11:05.120
And then I walked over to the newsstand where all the newspapers were because we had the recycler back then, right?
00:11:05.440 --> 00:11:12.399
And I just opened the recycler and I took the first page and I just unhinged it from the rest of the thing and just tossed it on the ground.
00:11:12.480 --> 00:11:18.080
And I just page by page took this newspaper part and was just doing it.
00:11:18.320 --> 00:11:19.919
So he can't come out from behind the glass.
00:11:20.000 --> 00:11:20.799
So he's freaking out.
00:11:20.960 --> 00:11:23.200
I'm calling the police, I'm calling the police, right?
00:11:23.440 --> 00:11:26.960
And I went over to the to the car part section, the motor oil section.
00:11:27.200 --> 00:11:32.240
No, delicately took the cap off the motor oil and I just set it on its side so it would just delicately.
00:11:32.879 --> 00:11:36.080
You did not, you did not onto the floor, right?
00:11:36.320 --> 00:11:36.639
Okay.
00:11:36.960 --> 00:11:39.120
By this point, he is just screaming.
00:11:39.200 --> 00:11:43.039
The kids outside are like a cape, their mouths are hanging open.
00:11:43.360 --> 00:11:44.720
Like mine is right now?
00:11:44.960 --> 00:11:45.759
Yeah, right.
00:11:45.919 --> 00:11:57.759
I'm and and I went out to my car, I had my guitar in the back, and I went out and I got it, and I brought it in, and I set the case down on the ground, and I got the guitar out.
00:11:58.000 --> 00:12:03.919
And I played the most beautiful version of Blister in the Sun you've ever heard in your life.
00:12:05.840 --> 00:12:06.879
No, of course, Evelyn.
00:12:07.039 --> 00:12:07.840
I did none of that.
00:12:08.159 --> 00:12:09.279
Oh my gosh.
00:12:09.519 --> 00:12:11.279
I was like, Thank you.
00:12:11.440 --> 00:12:13.200
I mean, your reaction made it all worth it.
00:12:13.440 --> 00:12:14.960
This is really ugly, Nick.
00:12:15.039 --> 00:12:16.480
I don't know if we want this.
00:12:16.639 --> 00:12:20.559
Although, I okay, I I would have believed the first row of chips.
00:12:20.879 --> 00:12:25.600
Like that, to me, the fact that you went back for a second row, I was like, oh my gosh.
00:12:26.000 --> 00:12:30.240
And it wasn't until you started flipping pop cans that I was like, I don't know.
00:12:30.480 --> 00:12:31.039
You bought it.
00:12:31.120 --> 00:12:31.679
You bought it.
00:12:31.840 --> 00:12:35.120
I did, but it was more like that's when I started to feel it get ugly.
00:12:35.279 --> 00:12:36.799
I was like, ooh, it was ugly.
00:12:36.960 --> 00:12:38.159
By the way, that whole story is ugly.
00:12:38.240 --> 00:12:39.279
But here's what actually happened.
00:12:39.440 --> 00:12:50.480
Deep, deep in my humiliation and in my resentment for the fact that this guy was charging me for something that was so obvious and that obviously happened so much that they had a button on the cash register for it.
00:12:50.639 --> 00:13:09.519
And already dealing with the humiliation of it, I set the I set the giant gas pump down on the the cable or the whatever it is, down on the thing, and I said, looked him in the eye and said, Sir, I think if anything has been illustrated by this incident where I drove off with the gas pump still in my car, it's that I need to pay more attention.
00:13:09.679 --> 00:13:11.679
And then I walked out and I met my friend for drinks.
00:13:11.840 --> 00:13:14.399
And then I grabbed one small bag of Doritos.
00:13:14.720 --> 00:13:15.519
This is mine now.
00:13:16.639 --> 00:13:17.039
I'm eating this.
00:13:17.120 --> 00:13:19.679
Yeah, lobbed it at a bulletproof glass.
00:13:20.000 --> 00:13:21.679
Okay, okay, wow.
00:13:22.000 --> 00:13:30.480
So my question for you, Evelyn, is what is the most stating the obvious moment you've ever experienced in your life?
00:13:30.799 --> 00:13:32.399
Oh, what a great.
00:13:32.559 --> 00:13:33.759
That is so good.
00:13:34.000 --> 00:13:35.200
That is so good.
00:13:35.919 --> 00:13:38.799
Uh you don't know, do you?
00:13:38.879 --> 00:13:39.440
Because you're weak.
00:13:39.759 --> 00:13:49.039
Because I'm weak and I'm I I mean, although I keep an account of all of my transgressions at the ready at all times.
00:13:49.360 --> 00:13:50.080
You sure do.
00:13:50.320 --> 00:13:53.600
I that's one thing I bring to all my friendships.
00:13:53.919 --> 00:13:55.759
The most stating the obvious.
00:13:56.080 --> 00:13:57.440
Really racking my brain here.
00:13:57.519 --> 00:13:58.080
I just need a sec.
00:13:58.320 --> 00:13:58.960
I just need a sec.
00:13:59.360 --> 00:14:00.480
No, take as long as you need.
00:14:00.559 --> 00:14:01.759
I have forever.
00:14:02.480 --> 00:14:04.399
Just looking at kittens on Reddit.
00:14:05.279 --> 00:14:07.519
The most stating the obvious.
00:14:07.840 --> 00:14:12.879
I keep getting stuck on one one story that I don't know if this actually fits.
00:14:13.279 --> 00:14:13.600
Okay.
00:14:13.840 --> 00:14:16.000
But I can't just I just keep going back to it.
00:14:16.159 --> 00:14:19.759
I'm not entirely I don't know if this actually fits your prompt, though.
00:14:20.000 --> 00:14:26.320
Why don't you do what any self-respecting person would do and insist that it does fit your my prompt and just go through it?
00:14:26.399 --> 00:14:30.159
I mean, it's we're not like I know, but I feel like be penalized here.
00:14:30.480 --> 00:14:36.960
So I I keep going back to my uh piano professor I had in university.
00:14:37.200 --> 00:14:45.440
Maybe this isn't a story so much about stating the obvious as it is about there being something very obvious that she completely missed the mark on.
00:14:45.600 --> 00:14:48.000
Like that's what I'm talking about sexual attraction, people.
00:14:48.320 --> 00:14:49.759
Okay, first of all.
00:14:50.399 --> 00:14:53.840
First of all, uh thick.
00:14:54.159 --> 00:14:58.720
I am yeah, because don't you find that older people have a real musk about them?
00:14:58.879 --> 00:15:00.960
Because that's the only kind of air musky.
00:15:01.440 --> 00:15:04.879
That's called pheromones, and sometimes they're so thick you cut them with a knife.
00:15:05.120 --> 00:15:06.559
Yeah, that's not happening here.
00:15:06.720 --> 00:15:15.440
And okay, so my prof in university was this astoundingly old woman, and she dressed.
00:15:15.919 --> 00:15:17.519
She was astoundingly old.
00:15:17.679 --> 00:15:19.679
How does a person get that old?
00:15:19.840 --> 00:15:23.200
She she's so old, she ought to be dead.
00:15:23.519 --> 00:15:26.240
You know, truer words of the just God would have killed her.
00:15:26.480 --> 00:15:28.720
She well, she's I mean, she's dead now.
00:15:28.960 --> 00:15:34.320
So, you know, we got there eventually, but she she was quite old when she was my professor.
00:15:34.639 --> 00:15:38.799
And every week I had a lesson with her every week, a one-on-one.
00:15:39.519 --> 00:15:41.519
And she was terrifying.
00:15:41.679 --> 00:15:46.559
Uh, she was incredibly out of touch with the world around her.
00:15:46.720 --> 00:15:50.480
I mean, a lot of musicians kind of are.
00:15:50.639 --> 00:15:55.759
It's almost like the more brilliant you are, the less attuned to the world you are.
00:15:55.919 --> 00:15:57.519
You know, there is kind of especially classical music.
00:15:57.919 --> 00:15:58.559
August rush.
00:15:58.799 --> 00:16:02.399
Like that's exactly what I really was hoping.
00:16:02.559 --> 00:16:05.039
Yeah, that's exactly that's the best example of that for sure.
00:16:05.120 --> 00:16:08.320
And the most realistic example by you know, Bar Nunn.
00:16:08.720 --> 00:16:12.240
And so I had this older lady as a as a prof.
00:16:12.559 --> 00:16:15.600
She was apparently a brilliant pianist.
00:16:15.840 --> 00:16:19.279
I saw her perform a couple times, and I actually didn't get it.
00:16:19.519 --> 00:16:22.080
Like, I'm gonna be honest here, I didn't really get it.
00:16:22.240 --> 00:16:26.000
I had taken lessons with her uh three years actually.
00:16:26.159 --> 00:16:32.639
I remember third year being a really great year uh for me in terms of my performance level.
00:16:32.799 --> 00:16:37.440
I started to really understand Bach when I was playing Bach.
00:16:37.600 --> 00:16:45.440
And they the the pieces were long and they were complex, but in a way they were formulaic.
00:16:45.600 --> 00:16:50.159
I mean, Bach is there's a reason he's as well known as he is.
00:16:50.320 --> 00:16:54.639
It's just like mechanically speaking, absolutely in the stratosphere.
00:16:54.799 --> 00:17:01.440
So I was finally starting to understand the mechanics and the and the form and all of this kind of stuff, so that when I played it, it made sense to me.
00:17:01.519 --> 00:17:05.680
And it wasn't just a, I'm just playing some notes, please help me remember this.
00:17:05.759 --> 00:17:07.279
I actually locked into a bunch of stuff.
00:17:07.359 --> 00:17:08.880
So there's this one piece I was learning.
00:17:08.960 --> 00:17:10.880
Uh, it's called the Italian concerto.
00:17:11.119 --> 00:17:11.440
Okay.
00:17:11.839 --> 00:17:18.400
And it's a three-movement piece, and I had started learning the third movement, and then I had eventually backed up and moved, learned the other two.
00:17:18.480 --> 00:17:20.960
But the third movement just moves.
00:17:21.119 --> 00:17:23.519
Like that thing is a non-stop train.
00:17:23.599 --> 00:17:29.680
Once you start, your fingers are going the whole time, and there's repeated sections and there's development of it, and it's awesome.
00:17:29.839 --> 00:17:31.119
And I had memorized it.
00:17:31.200 --> 00:17:32.319
This was a huge thing for me.
00:17:32.400 --> 00:17:35.359
So I had memorized it, and I was ready to play this for her.
00:17:35.440 --> 00:17:38.559
I want you to understand that in most of my lessons, I was just trying to kill time.
00:17:38.720 --> 00:17:39.039
Okay.
00:17:39.359 --> 00:17:44.799
I could get her distracted by asking her, like, she loved writing on my music.
00:17:44.880 --> 00:17:46.240
And I love writing on music too.
00:17:46.319 --> 00:17:47.279
I think it's really helpful.
00:17:47.519 --> 00:17:51.519
Uh it's so, no, I don't mean scratching over it with a sharpie nick.
00:17:51.599 --> 00:17:53.440
I mean actually like writing things that are helpful.
00:17:53.839 --> 00:17:58.559
Sometimes I just get a concerto, Italian or otherwise, and I'm like, I'm just gonna mark this thing up.
00:17:58.640 --> 00:17:59.839
I just do it, dude.
00:17:59.920 --> 00:18:04.319
Um by the end of it, I have learned a little something about myself.
00:18:04.559 --> 00:18:05.680
You know what I'm gonna do?
00:18:06.000 --> 00:18:11.039
As soon as this call's done, I'm I'm sending you a copy of the Italian concerto and a pack of sharpies.
00:18:11.119 --> 00:18:12.880
And I just want to see you go to town.
00:18:13.119 --> 00:18:14.559
And I'm I'm gonna ask you what you learned.
00:18:14.640 --> 00:18:17.759
I'm gonna, I'm gonna overnight that thing to you, and you're gonna report back.
00:18:18.000 --> 00:18:19.039
I accept the challenge.
00:18:19.680 --> 00:18:23.599
So this this woman in uh in her studio, I want to paint a picture a little bit.
00:18:23.680 --> 00:18:29.599
There are two grand pianos at the far end of the studio side by side, so she could play and then I could play, and then we would, you know, learn.
00:18:29.759 --> 00:18:41.279
And then there was her desk near the front, and she would sit in her office chair with the the door would be closed, and she would sit right in front of the door, like there was no escaping.
00:18:41.440 --> 00:18:48.799
And something you learn as a teacher, like you learn in teachers' college, is it is that you should never at any point block the door from your students, right?
00:18:48.880 --> 00:18:59.200
You always want to feel students, parents, whoever, anyone, you always want them to feel like they have uh a way to get out of the room without you being in the way, or you never want anyone to feel trapped.
00:18:59.279 --> 00:19:04.160
Well, let me tell you, I felt trapped like a minx in a wirebox.
00:19:04.480 --> 00:19:06.240
Like a minx in a wirebox.
00:19:06.480 --> 00:19:07.200
You should have said minks.
00:19:07.680 --> 00:19:08.079
Like a mink.
00:19:08.880 --> 00:19:17.440
Like a minx like a like a slutty mammal, just just strutting her stuff right into the trap.
00:19:17.680 --> 00:19:22.559
And that person's like, I'm not gonna use you for sex, I'm gonna use you for your pelt.
00:19:22.960 --> 00:19:25.119
You trapped little minx.
00:19:26.240 --> 00:19:27.200
I love that.
00:19:27.599 --> 00:19:29.200
That's the part of the story I was waiting for.
00:19:29.279 --> 00:19:30.000
Okay, tell me more.
00:19:30.400 --> 00:19:34.400
Only I only mess up like this around you.
00:19:34.559 --> 00:19:35.200
I'm not kidding.
00:19:35.519 --> 00:19:38.640
Obviously, only when them only when the microphones are rolling, right?
00:19:38.880 --> 00:19:40.000
No, no, you.
00:19:40.160 --> 00:19:42.240
Not even this could be not even mic'd.
00:19:42.319 --> 00:19:47.440
And I would say because I know you're listening and waiting.
00:19:47.759 --> 00:19:49.839
I am listening and waiting.
00:19:50.160 --> 00:19:51.279
I am okay.
00:19:51.440 --> 00:19:54.000
So uh like a there you are, like a mic.
00:19:56.079 --> 00:19:56.799
Trapped.
00:19:57.039 --> 00:20:02.640
Yes, she's front of the door, and that that was our typical lesson format.
00:20:02.799 --> 00:20:13.599
And I would get her distracted by asking her to help me label the phrasing, the fingering patterns of you know, anything in music, and we could chew away a whole hour like that, and I will have played almost nothing.
00:20:13.839 --> 00:20:18.000
Like I was so scared of her that I didn't even want to play for her.
00:20:18.160 --> 00:20:20.400
So that was about three years of that.
00:20:20.960 --> 00:20:32.880
And her sitting in front of the door, me being trapped, and you know, in my leather harness and just playing there it is, in my leather harness, just playing, okay, for her.
00:20:33.119 --> 00:20:36.319
So one day in my third year, I'm actually ready.
00:20:36.480 --> 00:20:39.839
I'm ready, I'm like, I'm gonna perform this and it's gonna be great.
00:20:40.000 --> 00:20:45.440
And I feel confident, and she's not even gonna stop me because I can play this thing by memory with my eyes closed.
00:20:45.680 --> 00:20:53.839
In this in this outfit, in this, in this outfit with these tassels.
00:20:54.079 --> 00:20:56.160
Yeah, absolutely, yeah.
00:20:56.400 --> 00:20:57.599
And I'm ready to go.
00:20:57.839 --> 00:21:03.599
So I the the format was that you would wait outside the door till she was done with the other student.
00:21:04.079 --> 00:21:16.400
So he'd come out, I'd wait there, and but this time she opened the door and she wore those white blouses with the frilly, like the big lace collars on them that maybe older women would wear in the 80s.
00:21:16.720 --> 00:21:19.519
God, is everybody in this department like a total slut or what?
00:21:19.759 --> 00:21:20.400
Yeah, okay.
00:21:20.559 --> 00:21:28.799
So it's a it's a yes, that's all that's just rolls in and her ruffles and her ruffles and stirrups.
00:21:28.960 --> 00:21:30.480
This is what the whole faculty is like.
00:21:30.559 --> 00:21:31.599
It's a piano thing.
00:21:31.839 --> 00:21:32.640
Okay, right?
00:21:32.960 --> 00:21:35.680
Look at you over there playing the guitar super wholesome.
00:21:35.759 --> 00:21:36.000
Okay.
00:21:36.319 --> 00:21:39.680
No, nothing respect ourselves and our bodies in the guitar department.
00:21:39.920 --> 00:21:42.160
Piano majors don't, not for one second.
00:21:42.480 --> 00:21:55.119
So she opens the door, and today she's wearing this with again the white polyester blouse, but it's got a massive red pasta sauce stain right on the collar.
00:21:55.359 --> 00:21:55.839
Oh, okay.
00:21:56.000 --> 00:21:57.920
And and this is not one of those little collars.
00:21:58.000 --> 00:21:59.759
This is the collar that looks like it's.
00:22:00.079 --> 00:22:06.960
It's it's large, so that it's kind of floppy, but it's a huge spaghetti stain on it, like red pasta stain.
00:22:07.440 --> 00:22:15.599
She opens the door, hello Evelyn, and I must have glanced at it and I was like, Hey, I'm I'm re I'm here, I'm ready.
00:22:15.759 --> 00:22:17.440
She's like, Come on in and get seated.
00:22:17.680 --> 00:22:21.200
It was apparent to me very quickly that she had no idea that was there.
00:22:21.440 --> 00:22:23.680
Oh no, not a clue.
00:22:23.839 --> 00:22:25.119
And it was hard to miss.
00:22:25.279 --> 00:22:27.680
So anyway, so she said, What are we doing today?
00:22:27.759 --> 00:22:28.319
I said, I'm ready.
00:22:28.400 --> 00:22:29.920
I want to play the Italian concerto.
00:22:30.160 --> 00:22:32.559
Third movement by memory, I'm ready for it.
00:22:32.720 --> 00:22:33.680
What are you laughing at?
00:22:33.839 --> 00:22:36.000
But it's the Italian concerto and she has a pasta.
00:22:36.640 --> 00:22:39.119
Oh I've never made that connection.
00:22:39.359 --> 00:22:44.160
Yeah, you're like the Italian, I mean the concerto, the uh yeah, just the regular concerto that we're playing.
00:22:44.240 --> 00:22:45.039
That's all right.
00:22:45.119 --> 00:22:48.000
I'm ready to play the marinara, the Italian concerto.
00:22:48.240 --> 00:22:52.720
The Italian third, third movement, the Arabia.
00:22:52.960 --> 00:22:55.200
I mean the Italian concerto, right?
00:22:55.519 --> 00:22:56.559
So she's okay.
00:22:56.640 --> 00:23:05.119
So I sit there, I get myself centered, she's backed up against the door, sitting slurping on a plate of spaghetti, just slurping on her zoodles.
00:23:05.200 --> 00:23:05.599
Yeah.
00:23:05.920 --> 00:23:13.119
And I start, and I have never played that thing in that room as well as I did that day.
00:23:13.200 --> 00:23:14.319
I know that in my heart.
00:23:14.480 --> 00:23:15.680
I was so, I felt good.
00:23:15.759 --> 00:23:19.680
I hit that last chord and I was like, that's how we do it.
00:23:19.839 --> 00:23:21.119
That is how we do it.
00:23:21.279 --> 00:23:33.279
And I look over to her and she's over there, sitting the same in the same chair, same posture, except she's now face down, face down, looking at her collar, just staring at it.
00:23:33.759 --> 00:23:36.079
Doesn't even, I don't, I'm not even there to her.
00:23:36.160 --> 00:23:37.359
She's staring at her collar.
00:23:37.519 --> 00:23:41.599
And then she looks at me and goes, Was that there the whole time?
00:23:42.319 --> 00:23:44.319
She didn't hear the thing I played.
00:23:45.039 --> 00:23:47.440
And I said, What thing?
00:23:47.519 --> 00:23:51.680
What the oh gosh, that I I didn't even notice.
00:23:52.000 --> 00:23:54.160
And she said, I'll be right back.
00:23:54.240 --> 00:23:55.920
I'm going to see if I can wipe it off.
00:23:56.240 --> 00:23:57.119
You keep playing.
00:23:57.519 --> 00:23:59.279
So she leaves the studio.
00:23:59.599 --> 00:24:02.880
And I'm just like, from the top, I guess.
00:24:03.119 --> 00:24:04.000
So I'm playing it.
00:24:04.319 --> 00:24:06.880
She comes back about 15 minutes later.
00:24:07.200 --> 00:24:16.559
And I don't know if you know what taking something bright red and putting it on white polyester and then adding a bunch of water to it would do.
00:24:16.960 --> 00:24:17.519
Not a spread.
00:24:17.680 --> 00:24:19.440
I assume it makes it bigger and redder, right?
00:24:20.079 --> 00:24:26.559
She looked like she had happened upon the Warren G craps game when she came back.
00:24:26.880 --> 00:24:27.680
Oh, oh, oh, yeah.
00:24:27.839 --> 00:24:38.319
Her shirt was her blouse was not only soaking wet, it was also now if it was the size of, let's say it was like the donut shop scene from Boogie Nights.
00:24:42.240 --> 00:24:48.720
It was honestly now a quarter, like whereas it was probably the size of a maybe a like a Reese's pieces before.
00:24:48.799 --> 00:24:49.920
Like, or sorry, a Reese's.
00:24:50.079 --> 00:24:50.799
Like a Reese's.
00:24:52.240 --> 00:24:52.799
It could have been.
00:24:52.880 --> 00:24:56.640
It was, it was, it was fairly small, but size of a Reese's before.
00:24:56.960 --> 00:25:02.079
Now it was taking up no like probably a third of her entire top.
00:25:02.400 --> 00:25:06.960
It was pink, it was bright red in the middle, but it had spread all the way out.
00:25:07.039 --> 00:25:12.720
It was covering one entire breast, half of her rib cage, and it was now onto one of her sleeves.
00:25:13.119 --> 00:25:15.680
And she said, There, I I think that's better.
00:25:15.839 --> 00:25:18.160
And I said, I think so too.
00:25:18.799 --> 00:25:19.839
It was so obvious.
00:25:20.000 --> 00:25:22.000
The best part was my lessons were in the morning.
00:25:23.279 --> 00:25:32.400
So I knew that she was spending the rest of her day in this pasta sauce soiled.
00:25:33.039 --> 00:25:34.960
It was so obvious.
00:25:35.200 --> 00:25:43.039
And she didn't even notice until I was having one of the best musical moments of my entire life up to that point.
00:25:43.359 --> 00:25:44.240
It was so Italian.
00:25:45.920 --> 00:25:48.559
She got in touch with the Italian that was all over her.
00:25:48.799 --> 00:25:49.039
Yeah.
00:25:49.519 --> 00:25:52.799
And trust me, that would have been the only Italian that would have been all over her.
00:25:53.119 --> 00:25:57.279
If I can be if I may be really honest.
00:25:57.519 --> 00:25:58.400
So I don't know.
00:25:58.480 --> 00:26:04.880
It's not so much a, you know, thanks, Captain Obvious kind of moment, which is also a saying we said in high school all the time.
00:26:05.039 --> 00:26:06.559
Thanks, Captain Obvious, right?
00:26:07.039 --> 00:26:14.960
But it was more of a I don't understand, like I don't understand how she didn't notice it because it was the first thing I saw when she opened the door.
00:26:15.279 --> 00:26:15.599
Yeah.
00:26:15.920 --> 00:26:19.759
But it does tell me a lot about her attention to detail.
00:26:20.240 --> 00:26:29.039
And she was so detailed when it came to, you know, piano performance, but had no awareness of her own person.
00:26:29.359 --> 00:26:30.880
Yeah, that's kind of what it seems like.
00:26:30.960 --> 00:26:32.960
And then the weirdness of like the oh, that's better.
00:26:33.119 --> 00:26:36.400
It's like, no, and it was never you had no capacity to make it better.
00:26:36.480 --> 00:26:37.519
It is a white shirt.
00:26:37.920 --> 00:26:41.440
Nothing you were gonna do, save for going to a dry cleaner, was gonna make that better.
00:26:41.920 --> 00:26:47.279
What you have to do is you either have to take take the rest of the day off or you have to accept that you have a big stain.
00:26:47.839 --> 00:26:55.759
Yeah, and you're gonna bring it up, and your next student's gonna come up and go, by the way, ignore the the obvious bullet wound on my uh laval on my chest here.
00:26:55.920 --> 00:26:59.440
Yeah, just got a little too deep into the into the ravioli there.
00:26:59.759 --> 00:27:06.480
Um I'm not gonna leave for 15 minutes of an hour lesson and focus on scrubbing my shirt and say, you play.
00:27:07.119 --> 00:27:08.319
And you and just you play.
00:27:08.880 --> 00:27:13.279
And I I mean, I was my blood pressure was probably back down when she was out of that room.
00:27:13.599 --> 00:27:13.759
Sure.
00:27:14.240 --> 00:27:18.079
But she she was really quite the character.
00:27:18.400 --> 00:27:20.079
She was a teacher that just was never in tune.
00:27:20.400 --> 00:27:24.160
Like it was like, you need to play this because it's Bach and everybody plays Bach.
00:27:24.400 --> 00:27:33.440
As a piano major, you should, if you're taking classical lessons and going to university for it, you probably should be able to play a little Bach because that's like the founding father of keyboard pedagogy.
00:27:33.920 --> 00:27:39.759
But I digress because now I'm seeing your eyeballs do what mine did when you're talking about rolling a seven.
00:27:40.160 --> 00:27:47.519
I just hear all these people taking classical music so seriously, and I just think, do you all hear yourselves?
00:27:48.559 --> 00:27:49.759
I get such a joy.
00:27:50.559 --> 00:27:52.960
It's literally written on the page how you're supposed to play it.
00:27:53.279 --> 00:28:00.000
They write the tempo, they write the notes, they write what how many pieces it's supposed to take up.
00:28:00.160 --> 00:28:04.880
Like it's literally written on the page, but they're like, no, no, no, oh, it's so different.
00:28:04.960 --> 00:28:06.640
This interpretation of this versus this.
00:28:07.200 --> 00:28:11.039
And all I hear as the listener is little tinkling pianos.
00:28:11.759 --> 00:28:12.640
You know what's interesting?
00:28:12.720 --> 00:28:22.559
I think you would hear, if I picked two incredibly uh different performers, uh I think you actually would notice a difference in the in the interpretation of the piece.
00:28:23.200 --> 00:28:39.440
You compare this to the the Vegas experience, and I want to say that like it is true that from a financial standpoint, uh, learning to play classical music is a thousand times better than gambling, even if you are not, you know, even if you get a shitty job where you're just, you know, like playing at malls and stuff, that sucks.
00:28:39.519 --> 00:28:41.680
But like still a better idea than gambling.
00:28:42.160 --> 00:29:02.799
But I just want to point out to you that like a comparable experience would be you go to Vegas, somebody brings you a free drink, you're buzzed, there's people all around you, you throw the dice, everybody at the table cheers for you, pats you on the back, somebody hands you some free money, you go, you spend it, you walk around in the hot sun, you get drunker and drunker.
00:29:03.200 --> 00:29:05.599
Doesn't that sound better than Bach?
00:29:07.039 --> 00:29:08.319
Doesn't that sound better?
00:29:08.880 --> 00:29:10.400
No, not at all.
00:29:10.799 --> 00:29:12.799
An acrobatic piano exercise?
00:29:12.960 --> 00:29:15.119
Like, to me, it's not even the same.
00:29:15.759 --> 00:29:17.279
I think you can't compare them.
00:29:18.000 --> 00:29:36.240
To me, the most fun experience that we've talked about all day, the one that I would like for myself above all, is the one where I get to watch that strange professor realize that she has an stain on her thing and then come back in with it, having increased fourfold in size and go, that's better, right?
00:29:36.559 --> 00:29:37.519
Yeah, that wasn't it.
00:29:37.680 --> 00:29:38.640
Like, what if you told her the truth?
00:29:38.799 --> 00:29:42.880
You'd said, No, honestly, you need to take that to a dry cleaner, you are just spreading it and making it worse.
00:29:42.960 --> 00:29:44.559
Or what if she'd said, has that been on the whole time?
00:29:44.640 --> 00:29:46.400
And you go, Yeah, how did you not see it?
00:29:46.480 --> 00:29:48.079
Did you get any of your lunch in your mouth?
00:29:48.319 --> 00:29:56.640
Like, what would that be sometimes I mean, and I'm in therapy, which is generally like an honesty field, although we're nicer than I just was in the thing.
00:29:56.720 --> 00:29:58.480
Like, what would it have been like to tell her the truth?
00:29:58.880 --> 00:30:03.599
I think she would have eaten me like a female mantis, like a female maids.
00:30:04.000 --> 00:30:12.960
I think although I was not her mate, she would have she would have just eaten me and left a few of my feelers out for the remaining ants that are in the area.
00:30:13.359 --> 00:30:13.680
Wow.
00:30:14.079 --> 00:30:15.279
She sounds terrifying.
00:30:15.599 --> 00:30:16.480
She was terrifying.
00:30:16.640 --> 00:30:19.920
Yeah, I was scared most of those three years for sure.
00:30:20.000 --> 00:30:21.359
I cried every lesson.
00:30:21.599 --> 00:30:27.200
And yet generally, when the door opened for the next student, uh the next student would see me crying.
00:30:27.440 --> 00:30:27.759
Oh wow.
00:30:27.839 --> 00:30:30.319
Okay, that's like until you forgot to this is what you're getting.
00:30:30.640 --> 00:30:31.519
So you're standing there.
00:30:31.599 --> 00:30:33.279
So the it's the end of the lesson comes.
00:30:33.359 --> 00:30:36.559
You're there and Spikey's in a fucking boostia, sobbing.
00:30:36.880 --> 00:30:37.759
Just bawling.
00:30:39.200 --> 00:30:40.079
Just bawling.
00:30:40.160 --> 00:30:43.359
And that has become just a normal Wednesday for me if I'm dressed up.
00:30:43.680 --> 00:30:44.319
Yeah, yeah.
00:30:44.480 --> 00:30:46.319
I mean, whatever.
00:30:46.400 --> 00:30:47.599
It's it's gone now.
00:30:47.680 --> 00:30:49.680
There's way more things to talk about in therapy than that.
00:30:49.759 --> 00:30:50.720
Uh get in line.
00:30:51.039 --> 00:30:53.839
I thank you for bringing your sad musical victimhood into this podcast.
00:30:54.160 --> 00:30:55.680
Oh, anytime our listeners do.
00:30:55.839 --> 00:31:08.799
I want to challenge you, Evelyn, as we draw this episode to a close, to give the audience a and me, because I'll listen to this, a nice little passage at the end of this podcast of what is in that movement of Bach that is really special.
00:31:08.960 --> 00:31:11.039
And I'm not even being silly, I'm not breaking your balls here.
00:31:11.119 --> 00:31:18.480
Like, I would love to hear just a little snippet of what makes it so exciting and so special at the end of this podcast.
00:31:18.559 --> 00:31:21.359
And you can append that on there or you can not append that on there, but you know.
00:31:21.759 --> 00:31:24.480
Oh, and I'll tell you right now what makes it so special.
00:31:24.720 --> 00:31:25.519
No, I want to hear it.
00:31:25.599 --> 00:31:26.319
I want to hear it.
00:31:26.799 --> 00:31:28.240
Oh, you want me to like sing it?
00:31:28.640 --> 00:31:30.480
No, I mean that's actually super badass.
00:31:30.559 --> 00:31:39.119
But no, what I was saying is like you could get one of the hundreds of public domain recordings of this thing and just include like a 30-second snippet of like, by the way, this is Nick is an asshole.
00:31:39.359 --> 00:31:44.240
Gambling is stupid, and this is what makes Bach somebody we still talk about after 500 years.
00:31:44.640 --> 00:31:45.200
Oh, sounds great.
00:31:45.279 --> 00:31:46.000
I'll do it, no problem.
00:31:46.400 --> 00:31:47.680
Yeah, yeah, of course I will.
00:31:48.400 --> 00:31:50.720
And I'm gonna send you the recording personally.
00:31:51.200 --> 00:31:52.640
So I can listen to all 85 minutes.
00:31:53.119 --> 00:31:55.680
Nope, only third movement, only the third movement.
00:31:55.759 --> 00:32:00.160
I'm only gonna send you the third movement, and I want you to commit to listening to it.
00:32:00.240 --> 00:32:01.119
It's only a couple minutes.
00:32:01.359 --> 00:32:01.519
Okay.
00:32:01.759 --> 00:32:03.759
It's only a few minutes, definitely less than five.
00:32:04.079 --> 00:32:10.799
And I want you to listen to it, but instead of being like, this is garbage, I want you to be like, I know somebody that can play this.
00:32:10.960 --> 00:32:11.759
I can play this.
00:32:12.000 --> 00:32:12.240
Okay.
00:32:12.400 --> 00:32:12.640
Yeah.
00:32:12.799 --> 00:32:13.839
I could probably pick it up.
00:32:13.920 --> 00:32:16.720
It would take me a little while to kind of get back into it, but like it's in there.
00:32:16.799 --> 00:32:20.319
Like, and it's in and it's in F major, but I'm gonna send it to you when we're done recording.
00:32:20.559 --> 00:32:22.799
I will be even prouder to know you than I am.
00:32:23.119 --> 00:32:23.920
Oh, that's really nice.
00:32:24.000 --> 00:32:24.640
That's really nice.
00:32:24.799 --> 00:32:26.720
Okay, well, just wrap this up.
00:32:27.039 --> 00:32:29.759
Folks, we love podcasting.
00:32:29.839 --> 00:32:30.880
We love restoring peace.
00:32:30.960 --> 00:32:31.359
We love you.
00:32:31.440 --> 00:32:32.160
We're so glad you're here.
00:32:32.240 --> 00:32:33.839
Thank you for enduring all of my bullshit.
00:32:34.000 --> 00:32:34.960
And you're welcome.
00:32:35.279 --> 00:32:36.079
Squeezing the squeeze.
00:32:36.240 --> 00:32:43.440
No, you're you have to, but squeezing the Evelyn's artistic juice from my nasty gasoline-soaked uh revenge fruit.
00:32:43.680 --> 00:32:44.160
We love you.
00:32:44.240 --> 00:32:45.279
Uh, thank you for listening.
00:32:45.359 --> 00:32:50.160
Please like and subscribe and write us a review and recommend us to everybody that you know and be nice to each other.
00:32:50.319 --> 00:32:52.880
Um, forgive the country on the other side of the border.
00:32:52.960 --> 00:32:57.440
Don't possess firearms and take your blouse to a dry cleaner.
00:32:57.519 --> 00:33:00.079
And take your fucking blouse to a dry cleaner.
