WEBVTT
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Welcome to Return to Here I'm saying and this is a podcast for anyone who's ever liked and is ready to find their way back.
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Every episode I sit down with real people who face the hardest trap to life and throw you and come out of the other side with something to say.
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Real stories, honest conversations, no filter.
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Whoever you are, wherever you're at in life right now, you're in the right place.
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Let's get into it.
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And I don't I feel like it's just overused.
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Because if you've really burnt out, you know how bad it is.
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Through the years for me, burnout has actually been rearing its head.
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I'd say in the last four years.
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Now I didn't realise this was a thing, but burnout doesn't just happen overnight.
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Burnout happens in like the small pockets of your life, and then something happens where you you're not listening to your body, you're not getting enough rest, you're not slowing down enough, and it bites you in the ass.
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Like that has literally been my experience.
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And it took so last year, I'd say last March, April time, I had a significant loss in my life, and that was the catalyst of me hitting rock bottom with burnout.
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I was having a really hard time at work, there was a lot of changes happening, and then this loss really flawed me.
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That's when I really recognised that I had just hit burnout, and I didn't realise it at the time either, like what was going on.
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I my patience was out of the window.
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Like I would say, I'm quite a patient person.
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I had no patience.
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I was literally going zero to a hundred in my temperament, and I couldn't sleep properly, and no matter how much sleep I was having, I was not getting enough rest.
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I couldn't get through the day.
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Like the fatigue that I was feeling was just like beyond anything that I had ever experienced.
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My bloating, like my gut health was out of control.
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I could not work out what was going on, and now I look back and all of the gut stuff that I've been doing, I realised that the like burnout was absolutely triggering my symptoms and it was just making everything worse.
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And all of the holistic approaches, you know, at this point I'm meditating.
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I'm waking up at five o'clock in the morning, I'm doing my meditation, my gratitude, I'm doing cold showers, cold plunges.
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I am out walking, I'm, you know, socializing, I'm trying to switch off.
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But what I thought was, you know, all the good stuff, you know, my gut health was getting all of the right things.
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I was making fresh turmeric and ginger shots every weekend.
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I was having all of the right things, and all of those things were actually making me 10 times worse.
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And I think the thing that people don't realise with burnout is like it it's quietly whispering to you, and your body is telling you that it's not okay, but you're not listening to it.
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And the reality is like when you really hit severe burnout, it's not gonna take you a long weekend to recover, it's not going to be a quick soak in the bath, you know, it's not gonna be a holiday.
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If you're not slowing down and listening to your body and actually putting boundaries in place in your life, you are going to feel the wrath of burnout for so much longer because healing from burnout is such a hard road forward.
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For me, I could not be around people, and that goes to my closest friends, crowds, commuting.
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Like, I could not be in the vicinity of other human beings, and that was a real moment for me when I couldn't even go to the supermarket to get my shopping or be on you know on a train with other people around me, and I didn't re like I didn't realise how bad it had got until it got to this point where I was like, I couldn't even speak to my friends, I I didn't want to answer messages, I did not have the capacity to pick up my phone and speak to people.
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Let's fast forward the things I did, I just scaled back.
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I actually had to take some time off work, which is so hard for me to do because I am a chronic overachiever, people pleaser, like crack on with it.
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I've been on my own since I was 16.
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I'm so used to just having my own back and moving forward and keeping on.
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And you know, I'm reliable, I'm hard working, I'll do the thing.
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I don't need to stop, I don't need to pause, I don't need to rest.
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I will just keep going because rest and stopping and pausing doesn't feel safe to me.
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And that safe that lack of safety in the pausing and the resting is something that has become learned behaviour from when I was a kid because I didn't have or was not afforded the opportunity to pause.
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I had to keep going because it was my survival.
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Now that's just my story, but there are going to be so many other people that can really relate to that because pausing feels like there is something wrong with you.
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Pausing and asking for time out or anything like that, it does not sit right, and that is where the overwhelm, the anxiety, and the loops that you end up running on comes in because you don't realize that actually you the need for rest is not something that you can bypass, you need rest, like your body needs to be able to really drop down, your nervous system needs to re-regulate itself, and regulation and healing, nervous system healing and nervous system regulation are two completely different things.
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And if you have been on the go and you've been going and living through really high stress periods of your life, and you haven't actually been gifted the opportunity to pause, to slow down, to take stock, to remove outside noise, it's going to show up in so many different ways.
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And I really want to employ you to just check in with yourself.
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How are you feeling?
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You know, are you creating rituals for yourself?
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Because these are the small things I started to do that really helped me, and what that was doing to my psyche more than anything else is saying, You matter, you deserve rest, you're you're worthy of this space, and that is actually the most powerful thing.
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But what you don't get taught is that you can do all of these things, and it's not that you just suddenly recover.
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This past week has been one of the hardest weeks I've had for a few weeks, and it's because I've had a lot going on at work, I you know, I'm really putting in the work when it comes to content creation and showing up and building something of my own on top of corporate job and living and trying to make sure that I am looking after myself because I'm so aware that whilst I am coming over the other side of burnout, I am not completely okay yet, and I notice it, and I'm really noticing it this week.
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Like, I notice it when I'm over exerting myself, whether it's that I've been around too many people, like that for me is one of the biggest triggers being around people.
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I have to do it in ways, I have to really actually think about who I'm seeing and how many people I'm seeing and like social spaces I put myself in, which sounds ridiculous, but that has been like the path to recovery for me because I actually I still can't be in big crowds for a long period of time, and I'm behind on messaging people.
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I have people that I still need to reply to, and I am trying to not allow myself to feel guilty that I haven't done that yet, but it is on my mind, and again, that's another reality of like still healing from burnout.
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But here's the thing pausing, and actually, I took some time out, I was not seeing anyone, I wasn't speaking to anyone, I spoke to my friends, told them what was going on.
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I spoke to one friend consistently during that period, so someone knew that I was okay, someone had their eye on me.
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But outside of that, I literally was just by myself and I spent a lot of time reading, and I wasn't I couldn't get out of the house, so I wasn't going for a walk.
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But I sat out on the balcony, I'd stare out into the abyss.
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It's almost like that that literal rest that you're putting your body into.
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And you know they laugh and say stare at a wall, but honestly, sometimes that that staring at something, I'd say probably not a wall, but like if you can look out onto greenery, watching the trees, watching the sky, the clouds, like anything that's creating movement in the eye is almost like a bilateral EMDR movement, and that actually really helps your brain.
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But reading, and now I'm just gonna say this: don't read anything that is going to um offset like any uh sadness or fear or you know anything that's gonna create negative emotions in your body because remember, your mind doesn't know the difference between what's real and not.
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So if you're consuming content that is negative, your body is going to actually absorb that as the thing that's happening.
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So the reaction that you're having to the thing going on is what your body thinks is happening.
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So, in a stress state, when you are burnt out, you need to be making sure you're looking after yourself.
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So I read like at the beginning of the year, I started reading fiction after gosh, so many years of reading nonfiction, because I was fed the narrative that in order to be successful, you have to read nonfiction.
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Now, I'm not gonna say that there's no truth in that.
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I absolutely believe that your mind needs to grow to be able to get you out of those states.
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So, wherever you are in your life, if you're on the journey to become someone, you're not yet.
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You do need to read and consume and be in rooms and around people and thoughts that are going to get you to where you want to be, but that's not the deal breaker, like you have to make sure you're just consistently growing your mind, and obviously, all these amazing books, people have literally packaged in a book for free.
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I mean, you put you buy the book, but like all of their teachings and learnings and hindsight, like you can read that, so it is amazing.
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So, you know, there's no shade there, but like I spent 10 years reading non-fiction book, and I just didn't see any reason.
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I thought I was wasting my time reading fiction, but actually, going down my fiction rabbit hole, it was helping me heal in ways a non-fiction book wouldn't have.
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Now, here comes the books I started to read.
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I was reading like thrillers, and I just realized I cannot read this right now.
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Like, I love Frieda McFadden, but I couldn't read her books in those moments, it was just too much drama, and I bloody love it.
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She writes a great book, but I couldn't hold the space for it, and I realized it wasn't that there was a sudden light bulb, but I was listening to my body, and I was like, This isn't good, this isn't helping.
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Listen to your body, your mind and your body are speaking to you.
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So if you can get quiet enough, all the answers are coming.
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You just have to literally listen into your heart, and sometimes it can just be as simple as putting your hand on your heart and asking yourself, what is it you need right now?
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What do you need?
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And that will help you if you just allow what comes to your mind and listen to that because that is actually going to be the answer to the question that you've asked.
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Um, so there is no like great big thing, but I found I bought a book on a whim um from Elsie Silver, and it it's a cowboy book, and it's hilarious because I've never read any like cowboy books, but anyway, I read cowboy.
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Um cowboy was great.
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Cowboy took me down a whole 12 books of cowboy, um, it was cheesy romance and smut.
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Well, that's the best way I can put it, and I was laughing because I've never read anything like this before.
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I was like, did not even know this kind of genre existed, and um, I just thought nothing much of it, but what I didn't realise it was doing is it it was giving my mind and my body a safe way of processing everything that I was feeling without it feeling like I was going to crumble because when you are going through burnout, you can't hold yourself, you can't hold your feelings, you can't hold your thoughts.
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Everything is disproportionate to what is going on in your world, so everything feels ten times worse, and you just feel like you can't breathe and you're not gonna survive, and like you just want to sleep all day, every day, and it is scary actually, like it is really, really scary.
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But with these books, what I found was um I was finding solace and I was processing, and I started to feel lighter, and I would read all day, and I think I smashed out last year.
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I think I read about 20 books, so so let's say from yeah, I'd say January, I did start reading in January, but from January to Jan like to December, I read I think about 22 books, which is wild.
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Um, but that was the thing that I needed, and then I couldn't understand why all this smut was starting to make me feel better, and I just kind of thought nothing of it, but then I did my research, and actually, like the serotonin that is being released in your body when you're reading these kind of books, uh not in your body, but in your mind, it's rebalancing and helping your mind and your brain neurons like re-fire and wire again properly, and your vagus nerve is healing.
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And I am not a scientist in this sphere or field, so do your own research, but it was wild to me how much this was helping.
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So, I am gonna encourage you to buy a romance book, get down the Elsie Silver train and let yourself just get immersed.
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I would suggest putting your phone down.
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Like, one of the greatest things I did was log out of my social media, and I probably didn't use it for a good few months, and I didn't feel guilty for it because at that point I was scrolling and doom scrolling, and that doom scrolling is like constant dopamine, and that's also really, really bad for you.
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And my brain just didn't know how to hold any of this, which is why it was making my symptoms ten times worse.
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Like, even just going out for a walk in the park, just knowing that it's gonna be around and other human beings was it was awful.
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Um, so I went back to basics and I literally prioritised rest, gave myself permission to rest, gave myself permission to not try and keep up with um social commitments, allow myself just to to find the stillness in any which way I could and not be guilty if I couldn't do something, and I I I just created more boundaries.
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And then a few months passed, I've started back in therapy, and it was interesting, it was a therapist I'd not worked with with before, and one of the things she came to me with was um you know, the cause of burnout for me particularly is my people-pleasing behaviour.
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So I will say yes to everything, even if I don't have the capacity to hold it, and I've had to really learn how to create stronger boundaries for myself and what it is that I want from my life.
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That's then the other thing.
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Like, I've been so disconnected to my purpose, my why, what I'm creating, and not being where I want to be in life, like really feeling like that draining my energy, and all these things actually play a powerful force within burnout.
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So, you know, if you're feeling lost and you're saying yes to everything, you are completely disconnecting from your truth, and that is probably one of the things you would pass off and not think anything of it.
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But the reality is when you start to disconnect and you disassociate, you know, they get to the destination, they sit in the car and they're there for another 10 minutes, they haven't left.
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That's like the disassociation, or you are watching a film, but you're completely like zoned out, you're scrolling, you're just literally scrolling through, but you're not you're mindlessly doing it, and you're not actually watching what's going on.
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There are so many small things, like if you're getting in the car, you're driving to your destination, but you don't know how you got to the end.
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I do it like I'd get on the train and then like get to where I was meant to go, and I'm like, how the hell did I just do that entire journey?
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Like I don't even remember it.
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Like it's the disassociation, it's you've got to be careful with that.
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So these are the small things that they start rearing.
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If you can't breathe properly, and like you're not breathing through your stomach, and you're just like shallow breath, chest is tight, that is trying to tell you something.
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If you're sleeping, if you're like if you're sleeping and you're sleeping a lot, that's telling you something.
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If you're not getting a proper rest, your body's gonna be in a constant loop of just surface level rest, and you actually need to really get into the depths and the deep rest that you need.
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And it some practical tips for you is to go back to basics.
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So you're gonna be counterproductive, but stop meditating, stop doing affirmation, stop doing gratitude, stop um breath work, cold plunges, stop all of these things that society is telling you to do when you're burnt out, and certainly do not be doing like HIIT workouts, strength training, running.
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These are all things that are putting your body on under more stress, and you're already under a lot of stress that you don't realize, so your body's already struggling, and you add on top of that all of these things, it will cause you so much more problems.
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So you go back to basics, perhaps it's a stretch.
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Now remember, what your body needs is to be stretching out its fascia because all of this energy is stuck in your body.
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So yoga, Pilates I found to be a really great one.
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Not the like athletic type, but there's lots of recovery Pilates, so like long, deep stretches that's really worked so much for me.
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I found that to be the biggest part of my healing journey, like Pilates, and I didn't understand it, but it's definitely done something.
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And then as you slowly, I'd say like four or five months down the line, you can then reintroduce small pieces of exercise that feel good to you, but that I would avoid doing hit still.
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Um, maybe it's strength training that you want to reintroduce, but you're not doing it to the detriment of your body because strength training is good, but you can't put your body under pure duress when you're in that high peak state of burnout because it's just not going to work for you.
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So that's why I say give it three or four months so your body has been able to recalibrate on that healing journey, and then you'll find yourself like okay, right, I can hold more.
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Getting magnesium and ashwagandra into your diet will make such a huge difference because your body is going to need the adaptogens that the ashwagandha can give, and the magnesium will help your nervous system relax and you'll be able to get a little bit more sleep, fingers crossed.
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But these are the small things that you can do.
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Don't just look at other people striving and going for it.
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Twelve months ago, I literally couldn't be around people.
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To now that I've launched a podcast and building something with purpose, and I am actively building a business online and really going for it.
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I'm having to do that alongside a job that I am so conscious that I do not want to burn myself out again.
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So I put parameters in, like I know that I can't put a podcast episode out every week because I just don't have the capacity to do that, and so every other week is what I'm working with.
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I know that I can't constantly interview.
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Podcast guests, so I'm doing it every other episode.
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I know that I don't have the capacity to do it every week, so I'm batch recording when it comes to it.
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I can focus on just the one thing.
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These are the small things I'm doing in my life right now, and it's not really helped that I've been doing a lot of learning around like content creation, so I've been doing a lot of real-time learning and real-time creation, which has probably made things a little bit more sensitive for me because it's ideating constantly.
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So I've been really putting my brain to work in a way that um probably could do without.
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So I'm taking I've taken pause for a few days to be able to just figure out what is my next step, and that's all you need to do.
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You need to look at the ways that you are giving so much of yourself out.
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Who are you giving yourself out to?
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What parts of your life are you really not enjoying right now?
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What is causing you the most stresses?
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Who is causing you the most stresses?
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What can you reduce?
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Who can you lean on?
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And I actually think it's so important to have those conversations with people that you love that are around you so you can just get the support you need so you can propel forward.
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Because I promise you, if you don't start taking action now, it is absolutely going to catch up on you.
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Had I listened three years ago when I started to notice I was really struggling and I wasn't really speaking up, and I was just like, Oh, I'll it's fine, it's just a short period, I'll get on with it, it'll be okay.
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Or like it was affecting me and the things that I wanted to work on.
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But I thought it's just a season, it'll pass.
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And every time you say it's just a season, it'll pass, it never really passes.
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Like, you have to actively make the choices for it to pass, otherwise, you're just literally watching your life go by, and that was a realization for me.
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The last seven years have literally gone by in a blink of an eye, and I know that I needed that that time, but I'm not where I wanted to be, which is such a damn shame.
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And at the same time, I'm like, well, you know, you just needed that space, and you have created something amazing in that time, and I think it's okay.
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Give yourself permission to be on your own timeline, not to compare your journey to others.
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I'm not gonna say it's easy because I've literally been struggling this week, but I know that I'm building in public to share this journey so you guys can see that it is not the end of the world.
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And if someone like me who was really in the depths of burnout last year, has managed to move through most of it, and has launched a podcast and is building a profit for good business and is on her way to helping others break the loops that are holding people stuck in their own lives.
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Like, if I can do it, so can you.
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There's no difference between you and I.
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It's just a case of making the choices every single day because you could just choose not to, or you could choose to move the needle 1% forward in every given moment of your life, whatever that looks like for you.
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So just remember one size does not fit all when you are on your own healing journey, whether it's burnout or anything else.
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You have to be able to listen to yourself what works, what fits, what doesn't.
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Take what works for you and then leave the rest.
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Don't make it a chore.
00:25:24.880 --> 00:25:34.079
And I think for me, my personal growth journey felt like I had to do this tick box exercise because then I was worthy of success.
00:25:34.480 --> 00:25:47.599
But the reality is you have to do what feels right for you because the whole point of this growth journey is to make sure your mind is growing, is to make sure that you are growing, and if you are growing, then you're on the right path.
00:25:47.839 --> 00:25:55.119
But if it's not working and it's not sticking and it don't feel right, you don't need to continue on that that specific thing.
00:25:55.279 --> 00:26:03.599
You just the key here is healing and growing and showing up for yourself, and you are the priority in your own life.
00:26:03.759 --> 00:26:06.799
You have to be the main character in your own life.
00:26:07.039 --> 00:26:18.000
No one is coming to save you, you've got to save yourself, and believe me when I say every rock bottom is going to propel you forward.
00:26:18.240 --> 00:26:23.119
There will be something beautiful that births out of all of these struggles and pains.
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It's a moment to reflect of what's working and what's not.
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It's a moment to reflect of what you do want and what you don't want.
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When you are in the trenches in these moments of your life, it is telling you and showing you exactly what you don't want, so then you can get crystal clear on what you do want, and then you start striving towards the thing that you want in your life.
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So wherever you are in your life right now, get support.
00:26:49.039 --> 00:26:52.480
Trust that everything is going to be okay.
00:26:52.799 --> 00:26:56.400
I can help you break the loops, you can follow me on social media.
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I do lots of tapping videos on there, and just trust that everything is happening in divine timing, but you have to choose to look after yourself, you have to choose to show up for yourself, and please make sure you get professional support, especially if you are feeling like you are at rock bottom right now.
00:27:18.240 --> 00:27:26.559
There is nothing wrong with asking for help, and I think more and more people should feel like they can ask for help.
00:27:26.880 --> 00:27:31.200
So, from my heart to yours, I hope this journey helps you.
00:27:31.359 --> 00:27:49.599
I hope me sharing my own journey with you and being raw and real inspires you to know that you're not on your own, but to also go after your dreams and not let what has happened define what you can create, because your past does not define who you can be and what you can create.
00:27:49.759 --> 00:27:53.839
You just get to make the choice and it gets to be different and it gets to be amazing for you.
00:27:54.160 --> 00:27:55.519
So I'll see you in the next one.
00:27:56.160 --> 00:27:58.720
I hope something in today's conversation stayed with you.
00:27:59.039 --> 00:28:03.279
Even if it's just one thought to carry into your week, sometimes that's all it takes.
00:28:03.680 --> 00:28:06.640
If this resonated, share it with someone who needs to hear it.
00:28:06.720 --> 00:28:08.559
And if you haven't yet, leave a review on it.
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It takes 30 seconds and it means everything for getting this show in front of the people who need it the most.
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You can find us on Spotify, at the podcast, and everywhere you listen.
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Come find me on Instagram and tell me what you are returning to.
00:28:22.559 --> 00:28:24.400
Until next time, coming back to us.
00:00:01.919 --> 00:00:09.359
Welcome to Return to Here I'm saying and this is a podcast for anyone who's ever liked and is ready to find their way back.
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Every episode I sit down with real people who face the hardest trap to life and throw you and come out of the other side with something to say.
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Real stories, honest conversations, no filter.
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Whoever you are, wherever you're at in life right now, you're in the right place.
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Let's get into it.
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And I don't I feel like it's just overused.
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Because if you've really burnt out, you know how bad it is.
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Through the years for me, burnout has actually been rearing its head.
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I'd say in the last four years.
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Now I didn't realise this was a thing, but burnout doesn't just happen overnight.
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Burnout happens in like the small pockets of your life, and then something happens where you you're not listening to your body, you're not getting enough rest, you're not slowing down enough, and it bites you in the ass.
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Like that has literally been my experience.
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And it took so last year, I'd say last March, April time, I had a significant loss in my life, and that was the catalyst of me hitting rock bottom with burnout.
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I was having a really hard time at work, there was a lot of changes happening, and then this loss really flawed me.
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That's when I really recognised that I had just hit burnout, and I didn't realise it at the time either, like what was going on.
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I my patience was out of the window.
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Like I would say, I'm quite a patient person.
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I had no patience.
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I was literally going zero to a hundred in my temperament, and I couldn't sleep properly, and no matter how much sleep I was having, I was not getting enough rest.
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I couldn't get through the day.
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Like the fatigue that I was feeling was just like beyond anything that I had ever experienced.
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My bloating, like my gut health was out of control.
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I could not work out what was going on, and now I look back and all of the gut stuff that I've been doing, I realised that the like burnout was absolutely triggering my symptoms and it was just making everything worse.
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And all of the holistic approaches, you know, at this point I'm meditating.
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I'm waking up at five o'clock in the morning, I'm doing my meditation, my gratitude, I'm doing cold showers, cold plunges.
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I am out walking, I'm, you know, socializing, I'm trying to switch off.
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But what I thought was, you know, all the good stuff, you know, my gut health was getting all of the right things.
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I was making fresh turmeric and ginger shots every weekend.
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I was having all of the right things, and all of those things were actually making me 10 times worse.
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And I think the thing that people don't realise with burnout is like it it's quietly whispering to you, and your body is telling you that it's not okay, but you're not listening to it.
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And the reality is like when you really hit severe burnout, it's not gonna take you a long weekend to recover, it's not going to be a quick soak in the bath, you know, it's not gonna be a holiday.
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If you're not slowing down and listening to your body and actually putting boundaries in place in your life, you are going to feel the wrath of burnout for so much longer because healing from burnout is such a hard road forward.
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For me, I could not be around people, and that goes to my closest friends, crowds, commuting.
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Like, I could not be in the vicinity of other human beings, and that was a real moment for me when I couldn't even go to the supermarket to get my shopping or be on you know on a train with other people around me, and I didn't re like I didn't realise how bad it had got until it got to this point where I was like, I couldn't even speak to my friends, I I didn't want to answer messages, I did not have the capacity to pick up my phone and speak to people.
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Let's fast forward the things I did, I just scaled back.
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I actually had to take some time off work, which is so hard for me to do because I am a chronic overachiever, people pleaser, like crack on with it.
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I've been on my own since I was 16.
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I'm so used to just having my own back and moving forward and keeping on.
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And you know, I'm reliable, I'm hard working, I'll do the thing.
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I don't need to stop, I don't need to pause, I don't need to rest.
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I will just keep going because rest and stopping and pausing doesn't feel safe to me.
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And that safe that lack of safety in the pausing and the resting is something that has become learned behaviour from when I was a kid because I didn't have or was not afforded the opportunity to pause.
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I had to keep going because it was my survival.
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Now that's just my story, but there are going to be so many other people that can really relate to that because pausing feels like there is something wrong with you.
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Pausing and asking for time out or anything like that, it does not sit right, and that is where the overwhelm, the anxiety, and the loops that you end up running on comes in because you don't realize that actually you the need for rest is not something that you can bypass, you need rest, like your body needs to be able to really drop down, your nervous system needs to re-regulate itself, and regulation and healing, nervous system healing and nervous system regulation are two completely different things.
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And if you have been on the go and you've been going and living through really high stress periods of your life, and you haven't actually been gifted the opportunity to pause, to slow down, to take stock, to remove outside noise, it's going to show up in so many different ways.
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And I really want to employ you to just check in with yourself.
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How are you feeling?
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You know, are you creating rituals for yourself?
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Because these are the small things I started to do that really helped me, and what that was doing to my psyche more than anything else is saying, You matter, you deserve rest, you're you're worthy of this space, and that is actually the most powerful thing.
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But what you don't get taught is that you can do all of these things, and it's not that you just suddenly recover.
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This past week has been one of the hardest weeks I've had for a few weeks, and it's because I've had a lot going on at work, I you know, I'm really putting in the work when it comes to content creation and showing up and building something of my own on top of corporate job and living and trying to make sure that I am looking after myself because I'm so aware that whilst I am coming over the other side of burnout, I am not completely okay yet, and I notice it, and I'm really noticing it this week.
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Like, I notice it when I'm over exerting myself, whether it's that I've been around too many people, like that for me is one of the biggest triggers being around people.
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I have to do it in ways, I have to really actually think about who I'm seeing and how many people I'm seeing and like social spaces I put myself in, which sounds ridiculous, but that has been like the path to recovery for me because I actually I still can't be in big crowds for a long period of time, and I'm behind on messaging people.
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I have people that I still need to reply to, and I am trying to not allow myself to feel guilty that I haven't done that yet, but it is on my mind, and again, that's another reality of like still healing from burnout.
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But here's the thing pausing, and actually, I took some time out, I was not seeing anyone, I wasn't speaking to anyone, I spoke to my friends, told them what was going on.
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I spoke to one friend consistently during that period, so someone knew that I was okay, someone had their eye on me.
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But outside of that, I literally was just by myself and I spent a lot of time reading, and I wasn't I couldn't get out of the house, so I wasn't going for a walk.
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But I sat out on the balcony, I'd stare out into the abyss.
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It's almost like that that literal rest that you're putting your body into.
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And you know they laugh and say stare at a wall, but honestly, sometimes that that staring at something, I'd say probably not a wall, but like if you can look out onto greenery, watching the trees, watching the sky, the clouds, like anything that's creating movement in the eye is almost like a bilateral EMDR movement, and that actually really helps your brain.
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But reading, and now I'm just gonna say this: don't read anything that is going to um offset like any uh sadness or fear or you know anything that's gonna create negative emotions in your body because remember, your mind doesn't know the difference between what's real and not.
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So if you're consuming content that is negative, your body is going to actually absorb that as the thing that's happening.
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So the reaction that you're having to the thing going on is what your body thinks is happening.
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So, in a stress state, when you are burnt out, you need to be making sure you're looking after yourself.
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So I read like at the beginning of the year, I started reading fiction after gosh, so many years of reading nonfiction, because I was fed the narrative that in order to be successful, you have to read nonfiction.
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Now, I'm not gonna say that there's no truth in that.
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I absolutely believe that your mind needs to grow to be able to get you out of those states.
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So, wherever you are in your life, if you're on the journey to become someone, you're not yet.
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You do need to read and consume and be in rooms and around people and thoughts that are going to get you to where you want to be, but that's not the deal breaker, like you have to make sure you're just consistently growing your mind, and obviously, all these amazing books, people have literally packaged in a book for free.
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I mean, you put you buy the book, but like all of their teachings and learnings and hindsight, like you can read that, so it is amazing.
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So, you know, there's no shade there, but like I spent 10 years reading non-fiction book, and I just didn't see any reason.
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I thought I was wasting my time reading fiction, but actually, going down my fiction rabbit hole, it was helping me heal in ways a non-fiction book wouldn't have.
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Now, here comes the books I started to read.
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I was reading like thrillers, and I just realized I cannot read this right now.
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Like, I love Frieda McFadden, but I couldn't read her books in those moments, it was just too much drama, and I bloody love it.
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She writes a great book, but I couldn't hold the space for it, and I realized it wasn't that there was a sudden light bulb, but I was listening to my body, and I was like, This isn't good, this isn't helping.
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Listen to your body, your mind and your body are speaking to you.
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So if you can get quiet enough, all the answers are coming.
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You just have to literally listen into your heart, and sometimes it can just be as simple as putting your hand on your heart and asking yourself, what is it you need right now?
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What do you need?
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And that will help you if you just allow what comes to your mind and listen to that because that is actually going to be the answer to the question that you've asked.
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Um, so there is no like great big thing, but I found I bought a book on a whim um from Elsie Silver, and it it's a cowboy book, and it's hilarious because I've never read any like cowboy books, but anyway, I read cowboy.
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Um cowboy was great.
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Cowboy took me down a whole 12 books of cowboy, um, it was cheesy romance and smut.
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Well, that's the best way I can put it, and I was laughing because I've never read anything like this before.
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I was like, did not even know this kind of genre existed, and um, I just thought nothing much of it, but what I didn't realise it was doing is it it was giving my mind and my body a safe way of processing everything that I was feeling without it feeling like I was going to crumble because when you are going through burnout, you can't hold yourself, you can't hold your feelings, you can't hold your thoughts.
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Everything is disproportionate to what is going on in your world, so everything feels ten times worse, and you just feel like you can't breathe and you're not gonna survive, and like you just want to sleep all day, every day, and it is scary actually, like it is really, really scary.
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But with these books, what I found was um I was finding solace and I was processing, and I started to feel lighter, and I would read all day, and I think I smashed out last year.
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I think I read about 20 books, so so let's say from yeah, I'd say January, I did start reading in January, but from January to Jan like to December, I read I think about 22 books, which is wild.
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Um, but that was the thing that I needed, and then I couldn't understand why all this smut was starting to make me feel better, and I just kind of thought nothing of it, but then I did my research, and actually, like the serotonin that is being released in your body when you're reading these kind of books, uh not in your body, but in your mind, it's rebalancing and helping your mind and your brain neurons like re-fire and wire again properly, and your vagus nerve is healing.
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And I am not a scientist in this sphere or field, so do your own research, but it was wild to me how much this was helping.
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So, I am gonna encourage you to buy a romance book, get down the Elsie Silver train and let yourself just get immersed.
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I would suggest putting your phone down.
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Like, one of the greatest things I did was log out of my social media, and I probably didn't use it for a good few months, and I didn't feel guilty for it because at that point I was scrolling and doom scrolling, and that doom scrolling is like constant dopamine, and that's also really, really bad for you.
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And my brain just didn't know how to hold any of this, which is why it was making my symptoms ten times worse.
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Like, even just going out for a walk in the park, just knowing that it's gonna be around and other human beings was it was awful.
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Um, so I went back to basics and I literally prioritised rest, gave myself permission to rest, gave myself permission to not try and keep up with um social commitments, allow myself just to to find the stillness in any which way I could and not be guilty if I couldn't do something, and I I I just created more boundaries.
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And then a few months passed, I've started back in therapy, and it was interesting, it was a therapist I'd not worked with with before, and one of the things she came to me with was um you know, the cause of burnout for me particularly is my people-pleasing behaviour.
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So I will say yes to everything, even if I don't have the capacity to hold it, and I've had to really learn how to create stronger boundaries for myself and what it is that I want from my life.
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That's then the other thing.
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Like, I've been so disconnected to my purpose, my why, what I'm creating, and not being where I want to be in life, like really feeling like that draining my energy, and all these things actually play a powerful force within burnout.
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So, you know, if you're feeling lost and you're saying yes to everything, you are completely disconnecting from your truth, and that is probably one of the things you would pass off and not think anything of it.
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But the reality is when you start to disconnect and you disassociate, you know, they get to the destination, they sit in the car and they're there for another 10 minutes, they haven't left.
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That's like the disassociation, or you are watching a film, but you're completely like zoned out, you're scrolling, you're just literally scrolling through, but you're not you're mindlessly doing it, and you're not actually watching what's going on.
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There are so many small things, like if you're getting in the car, you're driving to your destination, but you don't know how you got to the end.
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I do it like I'd get on the train and then like get to where I was meant to go, and I'm like, how the hell did I just do that entire journey?
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Like I don't even remember it.
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Like it's the disassociation, it's you've got to be careful with that.
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So these are the small things that they start rearing.
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If you can't breathe properly, and like you're not breathing through your stomach, and you're just like shallow breath, chest is tight, that is trying to tell you something.
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If you're sleeping, if you're like if you're sleeping and you're sleeping a lot, that's telling you something.
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If you're not getting a proper rest, your body's gonna be in a constant loop of just surface level rest, and you actually need to really get into the depths and the deep rest that you need.
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And it some practical tips for you is to go back to basics.
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So you're gonna be counterproductive, but stop meditating, stop doing affirmation, stop doing gratitude, stop um breath work, cold plunges, stop all of these things that society is telling you to do when you're burnt out, and certainly do not be doing like HIIT workouts, strength training, running.
00:19:25.759 --> 00:19:43.119
These are all things that are putting your body on under more stress, and you're already under a lot of stress that you don't realize, so your body's already struggling, and you add on top of that all of these things, it will cause you so much more problems.
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So you go back to basics, perhaps it's a stretch.
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Now remember, what your body needs is to be stretching out its fascia because all of this energy is stuck in your body.
00:19:54.480 --> 00:19:58.319
So yoga, Pilates I found to be a really great one.
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Not the like athletic type, but there's lots of recovery Pilates, so like long, deep stretches that's really worked so much for me.
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I found that to be the biggest part of my healing journey, like Pilates, and I didn't understand it, but it's definitely done something.
00:20:17.039 --> 00:20:29.119
And then as you slowly, I'd say like four or five months down the line, you can then reintroduce small pieces of exercise that feel good to you, but that I would avoid doing hit still.
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Um, maybe it's strength training that you want to reintroduce, but you're not doing it to the detriment of your body because strength training is good, but you can't put your body under pure duress when you're in that high peak state of burnout because it's just not going to work for you.
00:20:46.720 --> 00:20:57.759
So that's why I say give it three or four months so your body has been able to recalibrate on that healing journey, and then you'll find yourself like okay, right, I can hold more.
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Getting magnesium and ashwagandra into your diet will make such a huge difference because your body is going to need the adaptogens that the ashwagandha can give, and the magnesium will help your nervous system relax and you'll be able to get a little bit more sleep, fingers crossed.
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But these are the small things that you can do.
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Don't just look at other people striving and going for it.
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Twelve months ago, I literally couldn't be around people.
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To now that I've launched a podcast and building something with purpose, and I am actively building a business online and really going for it.
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I'm having to do that alongside a job that I am so conscious that I do not want to burn myself out again.
00:21:46.880 --> 00:21:57.039
So I put parameters in, like I know that I can't put a podcast episode out every week because I just don't have the capacity to do that, and so every other week is what I'm working with.
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I know that I can't constantly interview.
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Podcast guests, so I'm doing it every other episode.
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I know that I don't have the capacity to do it every week, so I'm batch recording when it comes to it.
00:22:10.559 --> 00:22:12.880
I can focus on just the one thing.
00:22:13.200 --> 00:22:30.640
These are the small things I'm doing in my life right now, and it's not really helped that I've been doing a lot of learning around like content creation, so I've been doing a lot of real-time learning and real-time creation, which has probably made things a little bit more sensitive for me because it's ideating constantly.
00:22:30.720 --> 00:22:36.960
So I've been really putting my brain to work in a way that um probably could do without.
00:22:37.039 --> 00:22:44.640
So I'm taking I've taken pause for a few days to be able to just figure out what is my next step, and that's all you need to do.
00:22:44.720 --> 00:22:48.799
You need to look at the ways that you are giving so much of yourself out.
00:22:48.960 --> 00:22:51.119
Who are you giving yourself out to?
00:22:51.440 --> 00:22:55.519
What parts of your life are you really not enjoying right now?
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What is causing you the most stresses?
00:22:57.920 --> 00:23:00.079
Who is causing you the most stresses?
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What can you reduce?
00:23:01.680 --> 00:23:03.119
Who can you lean on?
00:23:03.359 --> 00:23:14.240
And I actually think it's so important to have those conversations with people that you love that are around you so you can just get the support you need so you can propel forward.
00:23:14.400 --> 00:23:20.960
Because I promise you, if you don't start taking action now, it is absolutely going to catch up on you.
00:23:21.119 --> 00:23:33.119
Had I listened three years ago when I started to notice I was really struggling and I wasn't really speaking up, and I was just like, Oh, I'll it's fine, it's just a short period, I'll get on with it, it'll be okay.
00:23:33.359 --> 00:23:37.440
Or like it was affecting me and the things that I wanted to work on.
00:23:37.759 --> 00:23:40.079
But I thought it's just a season, it'll pass.
00:23:40.240 --> 00:23:44.240
And every time you say it's just a season, it'll pass, it never really passes.
00:23:44.400 --> 00:23:52.079
Like, you have to actively make the choices for it to pass, otherwise, you're just literally watching your life go by, and that was a realization for me.
00:23:52.319 --> 00:24:02.720
The last seven years have literally gone by in a blink of an eye, and I know that I needed that that time, but I'm not where I wanted to be, which is such a damn shame.
00:24:02.960 --> 00:24:12.160
And at the same time, I'm like, well, you know, you just needed that space, and you have created something amazing in that time, and I think it's okay.
00:24:12.319 --> 00:24:17.599
Give yourself permission to be on your own timeline, not to compare your journey to others.
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I'm not gonna say it's easy because I've literally been struggling this week, but I know that I'm building in public to share this journey so you guys can see that it is not the end of the world.
00:24:31.039 --> 00:24:50.000
And if someone like me who was really in the depths of burnout last year, has managed to move through most of it, and has launched a podcast and is building a profit for good business and is on her way to helping others break the loops that are holding people stuck in their own lives.
00:24:50.240 --> 00:24:52.000
Like, if I can do it, so can you.
00:24:52.079 --> 00:24:53.680
There's no difference between you and I.
00:24:53.920 --> 00:25:05.759
It's just a case of making the choices every single day because you could just choose not to, or you could choose to move the needle 1% forward in every given moment of your life, whatever that looks like for you.
00:25:06.000 --> 00:25:13.279
So just remember one size does not fit all when you are on your own healing journey, whether it's burnout or anything else.
00:25:13.519 --> 00:25:19.039
You have to be able to listen to yourself what works, what fits, what doesn't.
00:25:19.279 --> 00:25:21.839
Take what works for you and then leave the rest.
00:25:22.000 --> 00:25:24.480
Don't make it a chore.
00:25:24.880 --> 00:25:34.079
And I think for me, my personal growth journey felt like I had to do this tick box exercise because then I was worthy of success.
00:25:34.480 --> 00:25:47.599
But the reality is you have to do what feels right for you because the whole point of this growth journey is to make sure your mind is growing, is to make sure that you are growing, and if you are growing, then you're on the right path.
00:25:47.839 --> 00:25:55.119
But if it's not working and it's not sticking and it don't feel right, you don't need to continue on that that specific thing.
00:25:55.279 --> 00:26:03.599
You just the key here is healing and growing and showing up for yourself, and you are the priority in your own life.
00:26:03.759 --> 00:26:06.799
You have to be the main character in your own life.
00:26:07.039 --> 00:26:18.000
No one is coming to save you, you've got to save yourself, and believe me when I say every rock bottom is going to propel you forward.
00:26:18.240 --> 00:26:23.119
There will be something beautiful that births out of all of these struggles and pains.
00:26:23.279 --> 00:26:26.240
It's a moment to reflect of what's working and what's not.
00:26:26.400 --> 00:26:29.359
It's a moment to reflect of what you do want and what you don't want.
00:26:29.519 --> 00:26:45.200
When you are in the trenches in these moments of your life, it is telling you and showing you exactly what you don't want, so then you can get crystal clear on what you do want, and then you start striving towards the thing that you want in your life.
00:26:45.359 --> 00:26:48.400
So wherever you are in your life right now, get support.
00:26:49.039 --> 00:26:52.480
Trust that everything is going to be okay.
00:26:52.799 --> 00:26:56.400
I can help you break the loops, you can follow me on social media.
00:26:56.480 --> 00:27:18.079
I do lots of tapping videos on there, and just trust that everything is happening in divine timing, but you have to choose to look after yourself, you have to choose to show up for yourself, and please make sure you get professional support, especially if you are feeling like you are at rock bottom right now.
00:27:18.240 --> 00:27:26.559
There is nothing wrong with asking for help, and I think more and more people should feel like they can ask for help.
00:27:26.880 --> 00:27:31.200
So, from my heart to yours, I hope this journey helps you.
00:27:31.359 --> 00:27:49.599
I hope me sharing my own journey with you and being raw and real inspires you to know that you're not on your own, but to also go after your dreams and not let what has happened define what you can create, because your past does not define who you can be and what you can create.
00:27:49.759 --> 00:27:53.839
You just get to make the choice and it gets to be different and it gets to be amazing for you.
00:27:54.160 --> 00:27:55.519
So I'll see you in the next one.
00:27:56.160 --> 00:27:58.720
I hope something in today's conversation stayed with you.
00:27:59.039 --> 00:28:03.279
Even if it's just one thought to carry into your week, sometimes that's all it takes.
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If this resonated, share it with someone who needs to hear it.
00:28:06.720 --> 00:28:08.559
And if you haven't yet, leave a review on it.
00:28:08.720 --> 00:28:13.519
It takes 30 seconds and it means everything for getting this show in front of the people who need it the most.
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You can find us on Spotify, at the podcast, and everywhere you listen.
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Come find me on Instagram and tell me what you are returning to.
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Until next time, coming back to us.
