WEBVTT
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Man, I was born in the snow, raised in the sewers.
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I hung out with all the talkers and queens.
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I want to do is see I'm a goat.
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You ought to sit down and just take a note.
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I burnin' bridges and inspecting niggas just in the boat.
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Are you thinking that you more thing?
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But you just an OCC.
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Gotta put you in your face.
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I guess that's just my OCD.
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Katie told me so that means a lot of pressure.
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Sorry, Lowe kiss this beat, man.
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Take that boy out on the section.
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Katie is a bomb.
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PT is a detonator.
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BT got you in the spiders, freezing off a restaurator.
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Trust me ain't no restaurant.
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You can say the second later.
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Got a question send it in.
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I got two investigators.
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Dropping gems, we just trying to really see who won it.
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Oh, it's been a shit, we own it.
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Smell like money, I can only kick you quick to block a nigga.
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Katie quick to kick him off.
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I'm just a D girl for Riley Way with a whole lot of shit to say.
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It's your girl, KD.
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It's your hostess with the most is KQ.
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What up?
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Yo, you know who it is.
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It's your boy Coke, D P M A K A Q Motivation.
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I am Mr.
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Energy.
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Everybody loves me.
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Don't have an enemy.
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I podcast is here, man.
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So you gotta respect it.
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You never get off on that because we never the exit.
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If you know me, then you know that I'm more than a savage who loves living life and is allergic to address.
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So we're conclusion, so it's no confusion.
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If you see somebody real than us, it's an illusion.
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What up?
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No.
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Listen, man.
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Welcome to the relationship reality podcast.
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We are on location right now.
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You know what I'm saying?
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Clarston, downtown Closton is beautiful down here.
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It is very pretty.
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It's so nice out there.
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They got the cigar uh lounge out front, which is fire.
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Uh I'm just waiting on you to wander your way in.
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Oh, I'm gonna go in a minute.
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I'm just waiting on the food to get here.
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You know what I'm saying?
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They're smoking out here, though.
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That's everywhere with it.
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Yeah, so they got it to where you can uh just do it.
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It's a good vibe out here.
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I like it.
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Yeah, so this is definitely good.
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Man, shout out to Jamie for the invite, man.
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We appreciate it.
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And of course, we did to give you a piece of content while we're here, man.
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Well, who better than us and to give you some content from relationship reality podcast?
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What excitement?
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What location?
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So, so you know, I had to go into the archive and find something to talk about.
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I said, What can we talk about on location?
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The one that I seen was little too close to hold for now, so we gotta wait a few months before we can talk about that one.
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So we'll bring that back in if you want.
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But this one is so good.
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This one is uh pretty good because it's something common, right?
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We talk about this quite often.
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Yeah, they love us, they love us out here, baby.
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Our food came or our food case.
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Okay, so we're gonna get it here real quick, all right?
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So um the question is should a partner have to earn trust back?
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Dot dot dot.
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I love the dot dot dot forever.
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Forever?
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Forever.
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No, I don't think forever.
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Yeah, but I do think it has to be earned back, though.
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And I I don't think it should be a time limit on it.
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I mean, it can't be extended, right?
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It can't be like three years later, we're still harboring on the same shit.
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Right, right.
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But you gotta give me time to heal, you gotta give me time to go through the emotions of my grief or whatever the fuck we went through.
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Yeah, it's gotta be some time.
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Don't be talking about I cheated my fucking the fun.
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We did that.
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We we got over, we ain't gonna never get over it, but we you know, yeah, we live through it.
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Right, yeah, and I think that that once once it's forgiven, it was truly forgiveness, it can't be like thrown back up.
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Yeah, you know what I'm saying?
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So like any any class and it but it was showing the same tendency.
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Oh well that's different, it's different.
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You show the same tennis, that's different.
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Because because naturally, because naturally, if you showing the same characteristics, then it's gonna take me back to where you were.
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I don't mean like that.
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Okay, I mean like you didn't do something I wanted you to do, and I'm like, that's why you cheating ass thing anyway.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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You know what I'm saying?
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Or or I get caught doing something.
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Prime example, it's been what five, six years since your last discretion, right?
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I've finally gotten over it, yeah.
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Right, I can't now go do some fuck shit and be like, yeah, nigga, you cheated on me 75 times.
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You know what I'm saying?
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Like you can't get that, you can't use it as a as a you did it, so I don't want it.
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Excuse at that point, right?
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Like if you do it in the thick of the moment, even though it's not right, it's more understandable if you do it in the thick of the moment, but years later, you can't.
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I don't agree with that either though.
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I mean, it's not right, but I'm saying it's way worse than when you be over it and cast it, and then you do something, you like, no, you've been doing that.
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Yeah, right.
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Yeah, yeah.
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I agree with that, even when you serving the sentence uh from what you did.
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Yeah, for me, you said serving the what that sentence, yeah.
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When you serving that sentence, in prison, yeah.
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Well you know, I thought you said because that's that's what it feels like because when you feel like I like that tattoo when they when you feel like you've grown and you you you on the other side of it, yeah, but you're constantly reminded of it, yeah.
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Oh then it feels like you're living in a table because it's like I can't get away from who I used to be.
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It's kind of like it's kind of like hanging with people who you used to like do crime and dirt with.
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And every time you come back town, this is all we talk about.
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Yeah, so it's like I'm trying to escape this, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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But I keep trying to pull it back in.
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Yeah, you keep pulling me back into it.
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Yeah, so that's how this, that's how this situation sounds like.
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So in this particular situation, a husband cheated six years ago.
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Yeah.
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And he he rolled into the show.
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Uh yeah, he cut it off, he went to counseling, he got a couple, uh, he gave her complete transparency.
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Yeah, um, he hasn't given any reasons or doubts um since then.
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But from time to time, she still checks his phone, she still uh question where he is, she still brings up the affair during argument.
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Uh he says he feels like he's paying for a crime that he's served the sentence for.
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Well, I you can't give her a time limit on your problem, she's not healed.
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So, and that's the thing.
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So it takes, but even for the man, right?
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It takes time to understand, yeah, that okay, it's some idea that's making her not be able to forget.
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Yeah, so she can't trigger somehow.
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You just have to you have to kind of embrace that feeling and that's all and go with it.
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Yeah, it to right now today.
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I would when if KD comes with some, I'm I'm mad with her.
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Yeah, that's that nigga, man.
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Yeah, we ain't gotta be around that nigga.
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Let's go, let's go.
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Let's let's go.
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You the nigga, you know what I'm saying?
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Yeah, so they asked the question.
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Uh I say trust is a lifetime repayment.
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That was the statement that she made.
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Trust is a lifetime repayment.
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I don't know if that's I don't think that's fair.
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I don't think it should be a lifetime.
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I don't think that's fair.
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Yeah, because basically what she's saying is you can't never recover from the street.
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She never gonna so she never gonna heal from that.
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It's like felon, right?
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Yeah, like you was a felon 20 years ago, but you still can't get a job at the post office because you was a felon 20 years ago.
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You know what I'm saying?
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So it's the same, and I don't think that's fair.
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A lifetime is crazy.
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That's yeah, that's not fair, that's not fair, especially if you're showing that you've changed, yeah.
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Like I tell you all the time, I literally look at you, you a whole different person.
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So to make you, and I tell you this all the time like I feel like that person was a whole different person.
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It was.
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I be finding myself telling DTM like because in my other relationship, da da da da, and the whole time it's him, it's him, yeah, but it's so different now than it was then that I forget that that's what he's doing, getting older, growing, stronger, stronger, and he's constantly changing, right?
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So he's putting in the work though.
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Yeah, you gotta put the work in, yeah.
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But it would be mad wild for me to make you change for I mean, make you pay for what that other person did.
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Yeah, the only thing I hope is the last insane, right?
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Yeah, not all the you know what I'm saying, because that's done.
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That's that was somebody else.
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I just feel like that sounds so miserable.
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That's something like you need to break up.
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I also say all the time, we only put the word trust and the fact that you gotta prove it again on humans, right?
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Always use like the example of if you sitting in that chair and it breaks, yeah.
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The next chair, you ain't gonna you ain't gonna hold it accountable for you might sit down a little more costly.
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You might sit down, yeah.
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Yeah, but you ain't gonna do that for a lifetime.
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That's true.
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You're gonna do that for the first maybe 10 times, and then after that, you're just gonna sit back down like you've only been doing, yeah.
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But for humans, we hold it forever, yeah.
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Even even to the point where you ask us how I was raised.
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That was a forever sentence that you just gave yourself.
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But I wonder, I wonder because if she's only doing it every so often, if something is occurring, like if something he's doing is triggering, you know what I'm saying?
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Because she's not she's not doing it all the time, she only doing it every so often, which makes me believe that something that he's doing is triggering.
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Maybe he's coming home late, maybe he's not responding the way he used to.
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And you know what is crazy for us as women, it'd be little things, right?
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It'd be like oh, any other time you text me back in seven minutes.
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That was been 50 15 minutes, 20 minutes, yeah, and I ain't heard from you.
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So, what you was doing, yeah, and that's the little stuff that we always nag at us because those are the things that we overlooked, yeah, and then it ended up that you was having an affair.
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Yep, yeah.
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But that's the thing that that even as the person who who done it, right?
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The person who committed the crime or the the treasure, as my son would say, you have to you have to pay attention to that as well, yeah.
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So, like figure out what that trigger is, yeah.
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You know how they say if you put your phone down, that's a that's a that could be a trigger for somebody.
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You know what I'm saying?
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It could be a trigger for somebody.
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I always say that.
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So whatever that's whatever that that little thing is you can be paying attention to, you gotta pay attention to that, and then you gotta make uh intentional adjustments.
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So you're saying they need to have a conversation, they need to have a conversation, or even if you don't have a conversation, just pay attention, pay attention, she should pay attention to what you're doing.
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You always trip on me every time we eat tacos.
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Yep, yeah, yeah.
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So be aware of attention.
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We can have a conversation on why you tripping, let's get it out.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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You know what I'm saying?
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Yeah, or just be aware when we eat these tacos, she's finna flip.
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Yeah, and when she flips, let's figure out why.
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Like, I know why, but what's trip her?
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We don't even know she done went through your phone to see you was on a taco there with that bitch seven to eight years ago.
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Taco said that.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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It's our kind of correlation.
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She saw the message where the girl made the tacos, like, yeah, yeah.
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No, no, tacos my favorite.
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You talk me, you don't like tacos.
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Bitch, you never eat tacos again.
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Fucking taco balls.
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Never eat tacos, never eat taco.
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I ain't like your tacos.
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You keep putting tacos in the oven and the shell keep closing all the way up.
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I cleaned up fill it up with the meat.
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It's so funny, y'all.
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This is a true story.
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Oh my god.
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As much as I love Mexican food for a long time, I did not want to have Mexican food with DTM because the last affair he had was with a Spanish girl, and she was dropping him off food when he worked at the hospital.
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Oh, so in my head, I don't even know.
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It could have been chicken and greens in my head, it was it was beans, it wasn't beans because you don't eat beans, but it was Spanish rice, taco.
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I swear to God.
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That's deep though.
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Yeah, you know, that ain't stereotypical, definitely.
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But I'm like, this bitch is making the fucking homemade tortillas, like on the other, like on the eye, you know what I'm saying?
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Like taking him fucking like tortillas and Spanish rice and fucking margaritas, like that's that's that's how I played in my head.
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Yeah, probably that's probably not even what happened.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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But I'm like, this this woman is is her first language is Spanish.
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Yeah, they text it back and forth in Spanish.
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Yeah, you know what I mean?
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So in my head, that's what she was bringing the nigga.
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It could have been, like I said, it could have been hogmog.
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I mean, he don't eat pork, but it could have been like greens, macaroni, yeah, it could have been some soul food.
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But that ain't what it was.
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Tacos, so she was like, Man, you want tacos?
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I used to like no, I don't actually eat tacos either no more.
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We ain't no tacos in the house.
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You said we're going to Mexican town, yeah.
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We not, and then that trigger hit, but she got you gotta be able to I'm over it now, though.
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Because my big my best friend love tacos.
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I had to get over it.
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You gotta be able to pay attention.
00:13:14.879 --> 00:13:17.840
Like every time we go to Mexican town, she gets to flip it up.
00:13:18.000 --> 00:13:19.120
Yeah, yeah, why?
00:13:19.279 --> 00:13:20.320
Yeah, pay attention, yeah.
00:13:21.600 --> 00:13:22.399
Yeah, you know what I'm saying?
00:13:22.559 --> 00:13:24.720
Yeah, it's hard to have a conversation if you don't know what you're talking about.
00:13:25.039 --> 00:13:25.440
Exactly.
00:13:25.759 --> 00:13:27.120
So pay attention for sure.
00:13:27.360 --> 00:13:29.279
She might know what she's talking about, yeah.
00:13:29.360 --> 00:13:36.399
Yeah, but we gotta know you gotta ask the right question, yeah, and you gotta know what you're talking about, yeah, to ask the right question.
00:13:36.720 --> 00:13:38.879
So get there, ask the question with the right answer.
00:13:39.039 --> 00:13:41.519
If you ask the wrong question, you're gonna get the wrong answer.
00:13:41.679 --> 00:13:42.639
That's crazy.
00:13:42.879 --> 00:13:43.600
You know what I'm saying?
00:13:44.240 --> 00:13:45.600
That's that's that was funny.
00:13:45.679 --> 00:13:47.840
When I finally told him, he liked it.
00:13:48.399 --> 00:13:51.840
No, no, no, don't tell me what she was cooking, because then I'm not gonna want that either.
00:13:52.000 --> 00:13:53.120
You gotta let it be.
00:13:54.080 --> 00:13:59.600
Let me just get over it in my head, just the soul that was there, yeah, and that's it.
00:13:59.679 --> 00:14:03.279
Yeah, he's like, not laughed at all.
00:14:03.440 --> 00:14:08.799
I don't know what she gave me, keeping it.
00:14:12.240 --> 00:14:13.200
All right, never mind.
00:14:15.600 --> 00:14:16.399
So, all right, man.
00:14:16.559 --> 00:14:18.799
So with that being said, our food ready.
00:14:18.879 --> 00:14:20.799
We gave you some great penguin information.
00:14:20.879 --> 00:14:22.639
We live right here on location.
00:14:22.799 --> 00:14:24.720
Shout out to the man K for having us.
00:14:24.799 --> 00:14:25.360
You know what I'm saying?
00:14:25.519 --> 00:14:30.399
Shout out to Pad Joe Voice, shout out to Jamie, shout out to Clausen for having us out here.
00:14:30.639 --> 00:14:32.720
Shout out to these cigars I'm about to go get.
00:14:32.879 --> 00:14:35.759
Shout out to y'all for missing the cigars.
00:14:36.000 --> 00:14:36.720
Yeah, the cigar.
00:14:36.960 --> 00:14:38.320
We gotta go get these cigars, man.
00:14:38.480 --> 00:14:38.720
You're right.
00:14:39.039 --> 00:14:42.159
So uh, and then shout out to uh our sponsor.
00:14:42.240 --> 00:14:45.519
We say our sponsor today is uh Man Cave, man.
00:14:45.679 --> 00:14:47.279
Man cave is our sponsor.
00:14:47.519 --> 00:14:51.279
He don't have to cut the check, but truly, y'all cut the check.
00:14:51.360 --> 00:14:55.279
All right, so with that being said, I am the one and only coach DTL.
00:14:55.440 --> 00:14:55.919
Yeah, girl, Katie.
00:14:56.159 --> 00:14:57.919
Yeah, host us with the monsters, Kiki.
00:14:58.480 --> 00:15:06.960
And this has been a on location live recording from Relationship Reality Podcast, where we get busy every time.
00:15:07.120 --> 00:15:08.559
Make sure y'all tap in with us, man.
00:15:08.639 --> 00:15:11.519
We drop every Wednesday, every every Monday and Wednesday.
00:15:11.600 --> 00:15:12.639
We got something coming for you.
00:15:12.799 --> 00:15:15.120
We got the sports podcast coming for you on the way.
00:15:15.279 --> 00:15:16.720
You can follow Katie and everybody.
00:15:16.799 --> 00:15:17.840
We all on Instagram.
00:15:18.000 --> 00:15:21.200
We give you all that in the in the notes right there, right around here.
00:15:21.279 --> 00:15:22.240
Don't even worry about it.
00:15:22.320 --> 00:15:23.919
We gotta go get our food before you get caught.
00:15:24.080 --> 00:15:24.799
We appreciate y'all.
00:15:24.879 --> 00:15:25.279
We love you.
00:15:25.360 --> 00:15:25.600
Peace.
00:15:35.840 --> 00:15:37.279
Goodbye to my pain.
00:15:38.080 --> 00:15:39.919
Goodbye to my pain.
00:15:45.919 --> 00:15:47.120
So long bye bye.
00:15:50.879 --> 00:15:52.080
So long bye bye.
00:00:18.640 --> 00:00:21.280
Man, I was born in the snow, raised in the sewers.
00:00:21.440 --> 00:00:22.879
I hung out with all the talkers and queens.
00:00:23.039 --> 00:00:24.399
I want to do is see I'm a goat.
00:00:24.480 --> 00:00:25.839
You ought to sit down and just take a note.
00:00:26.160 --> 00:00:28.480
I burnin' bridges and inspecting niggas just in the boat.
00:00:28.559 --> 00:00:29.920
Are you thinking that you more thing?
00:00:30.079 --> 00:00:31.039
But you just an OCC.
00:00:31.280 --> 00:00:32.159
Gotta put you in your face.
00:00:32.320 --> 00:00:33.439
I guess that's just my OCD.
00:00:33.679 --> 00:00:35.920
Katie told me so that means a lot of pressure.
00:00:36.000 --> 00:00:37.200
Sorry, Lowe kiss this beat, man.
00:00:37.280 --> 00:00:38.320
Take that boy out on the section.
00:00:38.479 --> 00:00:39.359
Katie is a bomb.
00:00:39.520 --> 00:00:40.640
PT is a detonator.
00:00:40.799 --> 00:00:43.039
BT got you in the spiders, freezing off a restaurator.
00:00:43.200 --> 00:00:44.320
Trust me ain't no restaurant.
00:00:44.479 --> 00:00:45.520
You can say the second later.
00:00:45.679 --> 00:00:46.799
Got a question send it in.
00:00:46.880 --> 00:00:47.840
I got two investigators.
00:00:48.000 --> 00:00:50.000
Dropping gems, we just trying to really see who won it.
00:00:50.079 --> 00:00:51.280
Oh, it's been a shit, we own it.
00:00:51.359 --> 00:00:53.600
Smell like money, I can only kick you quick to block a nigga.
00:00:53.759 --> 00:00:54.799
Katie quick to kick him off.
00:00:59.600 --> 00:01:02.240
I'm just a D girl for Riley Way with a whole lot of shit to say.
00:01:02.320 --> 00:01:03.280
It's your girl, KD.
00:01:03.359 --> 00:01:06.079
It's your hostess with the most is KQ.
00:01:06.640 --> 00:01:07.040
What up?
00:01:07.200 --> 00:01:07.840
Yo, you know who it is.
00:01:07.920 --> 00:01:10.079
It's your boy Coke, D P M A K A Q Motivation.
00:01:10.239 --> 00:01:10.640
I am Mr.
00:01:10.799 --> 00:01:11.040
Energy.
00:01:11.120 --> 00:01:11.680
Everybody loves me.
00:01:11.840 --> 00:01:12.640
Don't have an enemy.
00:01:12.799 --> 00:01:13.920
I podcast is here, man.
00:01:14.079 --> 00:01:14.879
So you gotta respect it.
00:01:14.959 --> 00:01:16.879
You never get off on that because we never the exit.
00:01:16.959 --> 00:01:21.040
If you know me, then you know that I'm more than a savage who loves living life and is allergic to address.
00:01:21.200 --> 00:01:23.680
So we're conclusion, so it's no confusion.
00:01:23.840 --> 00:01:27.840
If you see somebody real than us, it's an illusion.
00:01:32.159 --> 00:01:32.560
What up?
00:01:32.640 --> 00:01:32.799
No.
00:01:38.239 --> 00:01:38.560
Listen, man.
00:01:38.640 --> 00:01:40.480
Welcome to the relationship reality podcast.
00:01:40.640 --> 00:01:43.519
We are on location right now.
00:01:46.560 --> 00:01:47.280
You know what I'm saying?
00:01:47.439 --> 00:01:50.000
Clarston, downtown Closton is beautiful down here.
00:01:50.159 --> 00:01:50.799
It is very pretty.
00:01:51.040 --> 00:01:51.760
It's so nice out there.
00:01:51.920 --> 00:01:56.079
They got the cigar uh lounge out front, which is fire.
00:01:56.480 --> 00:01:58.560
Uh I'm just waiting on you to wander your way in.
00:01:58.879 --> 00:01:59.680
Oh, I'm gonna go in a minute.
00:02:00.879 --> 00:02:02.079
I'm just waiting on the food to get here.
00:02:02.159 --> 00:02:02.640
You know what I'm saying?
00:02:02.879 --> 00:02:03.840
They're smoking out here, though.
00:02:04.000 --> 00:02:04.719
That's everywhere with it.
00:02:04.959 --> 00:02:07.359
Yeah, so they got it to where you can uh just do it.
00:02:11.919 --> 00:02:12.879
It's a good vibe out here.
00:02:12.960 --> 00:02:13.280
I like it.
00:02:13.599 --> 00:02:14.879
Yeah, so this is definitely good.
00:02:15.039 --> 00:02:16.960
Man, shout out to Jamie for the invite, man.
00:02:17.039 --> 00:02:17.840
We appreciate it.
00:02:19.680 --> 00:02:23.199
And of course, we did to give you a piece of content while we're here, man.
00:02:23.280 --> 00:02:29.280
Well, who better than us and to give you some content from relationship reality podcast?
00:02:29.520 --> 00:02:31.120
What excitement?
00:02:31.599 --> 00:02:34.080
What location?
00:02:34.639 --> 00:02:39.599
So, so you know, I had to go into the archive and find something to talk about.
00:02:39.680 --> 00:02:43.120
I said, What can we talk about on location?
00:02:43.520 --> 00:02:48.400
The one that I seen was little too close to hold for now, so we gotta wait a few months before we can talk about that one.
00:02:48.960 --> 00:02:50.639
So we'll bring that back in if you want.
00:02:50.800 --> 00:02:52.719
But this one is so good.
00:02:52.960 --> 00:02:57.360
This one is uh pretty good because it's something common, right?
00:02:57.439 --> 00:02:58.879
We talk about this quite often.
00:02:59.039 --> 00:03:01.520
Yeah, they love us, they love us out here, baby.
00:03:01.759 --> 00:03:03.759
Our food came or our food case.
00:03:04.000 --> 00:03:06.000
Okay, so we're gonna get it here real quick, all right?
00:03:06.080 --> 00:03:12.159
So um the question is should a partner have to earn trust back?
00:03:13.599 --> 00:03:14.560
Dot dot dot.
00:03:15.360 --> 00:03:17.759
I love the dot dot dot forever.
00:03:18.400 --> 00:03:18.960
Forever?
00:03:19.199 --> 00:03:19.759
Forever.
00:03:20.000 --> 00:03:21.439
No, I don't think forever.
00:03:21.520 --> 00:03:24.400
Yeah, but I do think it has to be earned back, though.
00:03:24.560 --> 00:03:27.199
And I I don't think it should be a time limit on it.
00:03:27.360 --> 00:03:28.719
I mean, it can't be extended, right?
00:03:28.800 --> 00:03:31.840
It can't be like three years later, we're still harboring on the same shit.
00:03:32.000 --> 00:03:32.240
Right, right.
00:03:32.319 --> 00:03:37.759
But you gotta give me time to heal, you gotta give me time to go through the emotions of my grief or whatever the fuck we went through.
00:03:37.840 --> 00:03:39.039
Yeah, it's gotta be some time.
00:03:41.520 --> 00:03:44.960
Don't be talking about I cheated my fucking the fun.
00:03:45.360 --> 00:03:45.840
We did that.
00:03:45.919 --> 00:03:50.319
We we got over, we ain't gonna never get over it, but we you know, yeah, we live through it.
00:03:50.400 --> 00:04:00.159
Right, yeah, and I think that that once once it's forgiven, it was truly forgiveness, it can't be like thrown back up.
00:04:00.240 --> 00:04:01.280
Yeah, you know what I'm saying?
00:04:01.439 --> 00:04:06.479
So like any any class and it but it was showing the same tendency.
00:04:06.639 --> 00:04:07.919
Oh well that's different, it's different.
00:04:10.319 --> 00:04:11.599
You show the same tennis, that's different.
00:04:13.680 --> 00:04:20.879
Because because naturally, because naturally, if you showing the same characteristics, then it's gonna take me back to where you were.
00:04:21.040 --> 00:04:21.839
I don't mean like that.
00:04:22.000 --> 00:04:27.680
Okay, I mean like you didn't do something I wanted you to do, and I'm like, that's why you cheating ass thing anyway.
00:04:27.759 --> 00:04:28.160
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:04:28.240 --> 00:04:28.800
You know what I'm saying?
00:04:29.279 --> 00:04:31.920
Or or I get caught doing something.
00:04:32.160 --> 00:04:36.800
Prime example, it's been what five, six years since your last discretion, right?
00:04:37.199 --> 00:04:38.800
I've finally gotten over it, yeah.
00:04:38.879 --> 00:04:44.879
Right, I can't now go do some fuck shit and be like, yeah, nigga, you cheated on me 75 times.
00:04:45.759 --> 00:04:46.399
You know what I'm saying?
00:04:46.480 --> 00:04:51.120
Like you can't get that, you can't use it as a as a you did it, so I don't want it.
00:04:51.199 --> 00:04:52.240
Excuse at that point, right?
00:04:52.720 --> 00:04:59.680
Like if you do it in the thick of the moment, even though it's not right, it's more understandable if you do it in the thick of the moment, but years later, you can't.
00:04:59.839 --> 00:05:01.120
I don't agree with that either though.
00:05:01.279 --> 00:05:08.560
I mean, it's not right, but I'm saying it's way worse than when you be over it and cast it, and then you do something, you like, no, you've been doing that.
00:05:08.800 --> 00:05:09.519
Yeah, right.
00:05:09.600 --> 00:05:10.000
Yeah, yeah.
00:05:10.319 --> 00:05:15.360
I agree with that, even when you serving the sentence uh from what you did.
00:05:15.519 --> 00:05:18.399
Yeah, for me, you said serving the what that sentence, yeah.
00:05:18.480 --> 00:05:20.560
When you serving that sentence, in prison, yeah.
00:05:20.720 --> 00:05:35.600
Well you know, I thought you said because that's that's what it feels like because when you feel like I like that tattoo when they when you feel like you've grown and you you you on the other side of it, yeah, but you're constantly reminded of it, yeah.
00:05:35.680 --> 00:05:40.639
Oh then it feels like you're living in a table because it's like I can't get away from who I used to be.
00:05:41.120 --> 00:05:45.600
It's kind of like it's kind of like hanging with people who you used to like do crime and dirt with.
00:05:46.079 --> 00:05:49.040
And every time you come back town, this is all we talk about.
00:05:49.279 --> 00:05:51.600
Yeah, so it's like I'm trying to escape this, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:05:51.839 --> 00:05:53.519
But I keep trying to pull it back in.
00:05:53.839 --> 00:05:55.120
Yeah, you keep pulling me back into it.
00:05:55.199 --> 00:05:57.920
Yeah, so that's how this, that's how this situation sounds like.
00:05:58.079 --> 00:06:02.480
So in this particular situation, a husband cheated six years ago.
00:06:02.639 --> 00:06:03.279
Yeah.
00:06:03.680 --> 00:06:06.480
And he he rolled into the show.
00:06:06.560 --> 00:06:13.040
Uh yeah, he cut it off, he went to counseling, he got a couple, uh, he gave her complete transparency.
00:06:13.199 --> 00:06:18.399
Yeah, um, he hasn't given any reasons or doubts um since then.
00:06:19.279 --> 00:06:27.439
But from time to time, she still checks his phone, she still uh question where he is, she still brings up the affair during argument.
00:06:27.839 --> 00:06:32.800
Uh he says he feels like he's paying for a crime that he's served the sentence for.
00:06:32.959 --> 00:06:36.720
Well, I you can't give her a time limit on your problem, she's not healed.
00:06:37.360 --> 00:06:38.480
So, and that's the thing.
00:06:38.560 --> 00:06:40.560
So it takes, but even for the man, right?
00:06:40.639 --> 00:06:47.600
It takes time to understand, yeah, that okay, it's some idea that's making her not be able to forget.
00:06:47.839 --> 00:06:50.879
Yeah, so she can't trigger somehow.
00:06:51.279 --> 00:06:56.639
You just have to you have to kind of embrace that feeling and that's all and go with it.
00:06:56.720 --> 00:06:58.560
Yeah, it to right now today.
00:06:58.720 --> 00:07:02.560
I would when if KD comes with some, I'm I'm mad with her.
00:07:02.639 --> 00:07:05.120
Yeah, that's that nigga, man.
00:07:05.199 --> 00:07:07.199
Yeah, we ain't gotta be around that nigga.
00:07:07.360 --> 00:07:08.560
Let's go, let's go.
00:07:09.040 --> 00:07:09.759
Let's let's go.
00:07:10.000 --> 00:07:11.360
You the nigga, you know what I'm saying?
00:07:11.519 --> 00:07:13.839
Yeah, so they asked the question.
00:07:14.079 --> 00:07:18.319
Uh I say trust is a lifetime repayment.
00:07:19.360 --> 00:07:20.879
That was the statement that she made.
00:07:21.040 --> 00:07:23.279
Trust is a lifetime repayment.
00:07:23.519 --> 00:07:25.199
I don't know if that's I don't think that's fair.
00:07:25.360 --> 00:07:26.639
I don't think it should be a lifetime.
00:07:27.120 --> 00:07:28.160
I don't think that's fair.
00:07:28.240 --> 00:07:33.680
Yeah, because basically what she's saying is you can't never recover from the street.
00:07:33.839 --> 00:07:36.240
She never gonna so she never gonna heal from that.
00:07:36.319 --> 00:07:37.600
It's like felon, right?
00:07:37.680 --> 00:07:42.319
Yeah, like you was a felon 20 years ago, but you still can't get a job at the post office because you was a felon 20 years ago.
00:07:43.279 --> 00:07:43.839
You know what I'm saying?
00:07:43.920 --> 00:07:45.519
So it's the same, and I don't think that's fair.
00:07:45.759 --> 00:07:46.720
A lifetime is crazy.
00:07:46.959 --> 00:07:52.319
That's yeah, that's not fair, that's not fair, especially if you're showing that you've changed, yeah.
00:07:52.560 --> 00:07:55.680
Like I tell you all the time, I literally look at you, you a whole different person.
00:07:56.879 --> 00:08:03.519
So to make you, and I tell you this all the time like I feel like that person was a whole different person.
00:08:03.680 --> 00:08:04.000
It was.
00:08:04.160 --> 00:08:20.480
I be finding myself telling DTM like because in my other relationship, da da da da, and the whole time it's him, it's him, yeah, but it's so different now than it was then that I forget that that's what he's doing, getting older, growing, stronger, stronger, and he's constantly changing, right?
00:08:20.639 --> 00:08:22.560
So he's putting in the work though.
00:08:22.720 --> 00:08:24.560
Yeah, you gotta put the work in, yeah.
00:08:24.639 --> 00:08:30.720
But it would be mad wild for me to make you change for I mean, make you pay for what that other person did.
00:08:30.800 --> 00:08:34.879
Yeah, the only thing I hope is the last insane, right?
00:08:35.120 --> 00:08:38.159
Yeah, not all the you know what I'm saying, because that's done.
00:08:38.240 --> 00:08:39.600
That's that was somebody else.
00:08:39.759 --> 00:08:41.360
I just feel like that sounds so miserable.
00:08:41.600 --> 00:08:44.720
That's something like you need to break up.
00:08:45.679 --> 00:08:54.320
I also say all the time, we only put the word trust and the fact that you gotta prove it again on humans, right?
00:08:54.559 --> 00:08:58.799
Always use like the example of if you sitting in that chair and it breaks, yeah.
00:08:58.960 --> 00:09:03.039
The next chair, you ain't gonna you ain't gonna hold it accountable for you might sit down a little more costly.
00:09:03.279 --> 00:09:04.080
You might sit down, yeah.
00:09:04.240 --> 00:09:05.919
Yeah, but you ain't gonna do that for a lifetime.
00:09:06.080 --> 00:09:06.559
That's true.
00:09:06.639 --> 00:09:11.440
You're gonna do that for the first maybe 10 times, and then after that, you're just gonna sit back down like you've only been doing, yeah.
00:09:11.679 --> 00:09:15.840
But for humans, we hold it forever, yeah.
00:09:16.320 --> 00:09:19.360
Even even to the point where you ask us how I was raised.
00:09:19.440 --> 00:09:21.679
That was a forever sentence that you just gave yourself.
00:09:22.799 --> 00:09:32.639
But I wonder, I wonder because if she's only doing it every so often, if something is occurring, like if something he's doing is triggering, you know what I'm saying?
00:09:33.519 --> 00:09:42.320
Because she's not she's not doing it all the time, she only doing it every so often, which makes me believe that something that he's doing is triggering.
00:09:42.799 --> 00:09:45.600
Maybe he's coming home late, maybe he's not responding the way he used to.
00:09:45.759 --> 00:09:50.080
And you know what is crazy for us as women, it'd be little things, right?
00:09:50.240 --> 00:09:53.039
It'd be like oh, any other time you text me back in seven minutes.
00:09:53.360 --> 00:09:57.360
That was been 50 15 minutes, 20 minutes, yeah, and I ain't heard from you.
00:09:57.519 --> 00:10:07.039
So, what you was doing, yeah, and that's the little stuff that we always nag at us because those are the things that we overlooked, yeah, and then it ended up that you was having an affair.
00:10:07.279 --> 00:10:07.840
Yep, yeah.
00:10:08.080 --> 00:10:12.000
But that's the thing that that even as the person who who done it, right?
00:10:12.080 --> 00:10:21.200
The person who committed the crime or the the treasure, as my son would say, you have to you have to pay attention to that as well, yeah.
00:10:21.360 --> 00:10:23.679
So, like figure out what that trigger is, yeah.
00:10:23.919 --> 00:10:29.360
You know how they say if you put your phone down, that's a that's a that could be a trigger for somebody.
00:10:29.600 --> 00:10:30.320
You know what I'm saying?
00:10:30.399 --> 00:10:31.279
It could be a trigger for somebody.
00:10:31.440 --> 00:10:32.240
I always say that.
00:10:32.960 --> 00:10:40.799
So whatever that's whatever that that little thing is you can be paying attention to, you gotta pay attention to that, and then you gotta make uh intentional adjustments.
00:10:40.960 --> 00:10:48.639
So you're saying they need to have a conversation, they need to have a conversation, or even if you don't have a conversation, just pay attention, pay attention, she should pay attention to what you're doing.
00:10:49.600 --> 00:10:51.440
You always trip on me every time we eat tacos.
00:10:51.679 --> 00:10:52.960
Yep, yeah, yeah.
00:10:53.200 --> 00:10:54.399
So be aware of attention.
00:10:55.360 --> 00:10:57.759
We can have a conversation on why you tripping, let's get it out.
00:10:57.919 --> 00:10:58.480
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:10:58.639 --> 00:10:59.279
You know what I'm saying?
00:10:59.440 --> 00:11:03.279
Yeah, or just be aware when we eat these tacos, she's finna flip.
00:11:03.360 --> 00:11:05.600
Yeah, and when she flips, let's figure out why.
00:11:05.679 --> 00:11:07.919
Like, I know why, but what's trip her?
00:11:08.799 --> 00:11:13.600
We don't even know she done went through your phone to see you was on a taco there with that bitch seven to eight years ago.
00:11:13.919 --> 00:11:16.320
Taco said that.
00:11:16.720 --> 00:11:17.200
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:11:17.679 --> 00:11:18.480
It's our kind of correlation.
00:11:19.200 --> 00:11:22.159
She saw the message where the girl made the tacos, like, yeah, yeah.
00:11:23.120 --> 00:11:24.639
No, no, tacos my favorite.
00:11:25.440 --> 00:11:26.960
You talk me, you don't like tacos.
00:11:27.440 --> 00:11:28.879
Bitch, you never eat tacos again.
00:11:28.960 --> 00:11:29.840
Fucking taco balls.
00:11:30.399 --> 00:11:31.679
Never eat tacos, never eat taco.
00:11:32.000 --> 00:11:32.879
I ain't like your tacos.
00:11:33.120 --> 00:11:36.799
You keep putting tacos in the oven and the shell keep closing all the way up.
00:11:36.879 --> 00:11:38.320
I cleaned up fill it up with the meat.
00:11:39.440 --> 00:11:40.399
It's so funny, y'all.
00:11:40.639 --> 00:11:41.600
This is a true story.
00:11:41.759 --> 00:11:42.320
Oh my god.
00:11:42.639 --> 00:11:55.919
As much as I love Mexican food for a long time, I did not want to have Mexican food with DTM because the last affair he had was with a Spanish girl, and she was dropping him off food when he worked at the hospital.
00:11:56.080 --> 00:11:57.919
Oh, so in my head, I don't even know.
00:11:58.000 --> 00:12:07.440
It could have been chicken and greens in my head, it was it was beans, it wasn't beans because you don't eat beans, but it was Spanish rice, taco.
00:12:07.840 --> 00:12:08.720
I swear to God.
00:12:09.759 --> 00:12:10.559
That's deep though.
00:12:10.960 --> 00:12:15.519
Yeah, you know, that ain't stereotypical, definitely.
00:12:15.679 --> 00:12:22.639
But I'm like, this bitch is making the fucking homemade tortillas, like on the other, like on the eye, you know what I'm saying?
00:12:22.720 --> 00:12:31.360
Like taking him fucking like tortillas and Spanish rice and fucking margaritas, like that's that's that's how I played in my head.
00:12:31.440 --> 00:12:33.360
Yeah, probably that's probably not even what happened.
00:12:33.600 --> 00:12:34.159
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:12:34.399 --> 00:12:38.399
But I'm like, this this woman is is her first language is Spanish.
00:12:38.480 --> 00:12:40.720
Yeah, they text it back and forth in Spanish.
00:12:40.799 --> 00:12:41.840
Yeah, you know what I mean?
00:12:41.919 --> 00:12:43.919
So in my head, that's what she was bringing the nigga.
00:12:44.000 --> 00:12:46.159
It could have been, like I said, it could have been hogmog.
00:12:47.279 --> 00:12:52.639
I mean, he don't eat pork, but it could have been like greens, macaroni, yeah, it could have been some soul food.
00:12:52.799 --> 00:12:54.879
But that ain't what it was.
00:12:55.600 --> 00:12:57.840
Tacos, so she was like, Man, you want tacos?
00:12:58.000 --> 00:13:01.919
I used to like no, I don't actually eat tacos either no more.
00:13:02.080 --> 00:13:03.120
We ain't no tacos in the house.
00:13:04.240 --> 00:13:05.679
You said we're going to Mexican town, yeah.
00:13:05.840 --> 00:13:09.919
We not, and then that trigger hit, but she got you gotta be able to I'm over it now, though.
00:13:10.000 --> 00:13:11.360
Because my big my best friend love tacos.
00:13:11.519 --> 00:13:12.080
I had to get over it.
00:13:13.519 --> 00:13:14.799
You gotta be able to pay attention.
00:13:14.879 --> 00:13:17.840
Like every time we go to Mexican town, she gets to flip it up.
00:13:18.000 --> 00:13:19.120
Yeah, yeah, why?
00:13:19.279 --> 00:13:20.320
Yeah, pay attention, yeah.
00:13:21.600 --> 00:13:22.399
Yeah, you know what I'm saying?
00:13:22.559 --> 00:13:24.720
Yeah, it's hard to have a conversation if you don't know what you're talking about.
00:13:25.039 --> 00:13:25.440
Exactly.
00:13:25.759 --> 00:13:27.120
So pay attention for sure.
00:13:27.360 --> 00:13:29.279
She might know what she's talking about, yeah.
00:13:29.360 --> 00:13:36.399
Yeah, but we gotta know you gotta ask the right question, yeah, and you gotta know what you're talking about, yeah, to ask the right question.
00:13:36.720 --> 00:13:38.879
So get there, ask the question with the right answer.
00:13:39.039 --> 00:13:41.519
If you ask the wrong question, you're gonna get the wrong answer.
00:13:41.679 --> 00:13:42.639
That's crazy.
00:13:42.879 --> 00:13:43.600
You know what I'm saying?
00:13:44.240 --> 00:13:45.600
That's that's that was funny.
00:13:45.679 --> 00:13:47.840
When I finally told him, he liked it.
00:13:48.399 --> 00:13:51.840
No, no, no, don't tell me what she was cooking, because then I'm not gonna want that either.
00:13:52.000 --> 00:13:53.120
You gotta let it be.
00:13:54.080 --> 00:13:59.600
Let me just get over it in my head, just the soul that was there, yeah, and that's it.
00:13:59.679 --> 00:14:03.279
Yeah, he's like, not laughed at all.
00:14:03.440 --> 00:14:08.799
I don't know what she gave me, keeping it.
00:14:12.240 --> 00:14:13.200
All right, never mind.
00:14:15.600 --> 00:14:16.399
So, all right, man.
00:14:16.559 --> 00:14:18.799
So with that being said, our food ready.
00:14:18.879 --> 00:14:20.799
We gave you some great penguin information.
00:14:20.879 --> 00:14:22.639
We live right here on location.
00:14:22.799 --> 00:14:24.720
Shout out to the man K for having us.
00:14:24.799 --> 00:14:25.360
You know what I'm saying?
00:14:25.519 --> 00:14:30.399
Shout out to Pad Joe Voice, shout out to Jamie, shout out to Clausen for having us out here.
00:14:30.639 --> 00:14:32.720
Shout out to these cigars I'm about to go get.
00:14:32.879 --> 00:14:35.759
Shout out to y'all for missing the cigars.
00:14:36.000 --> 00:14:36.720
Yeah, the cigar.
00:14:36.960 --> 00:14:38.320
We gotta go get these cigars, man.
00:14:38.480 --> 00:14:38.720
You're right.
00:14:39.039 --> 00:14:42.159
So uh, and then shout out to uh our sponsor.
00:14:42.240 --> 00:14:45.519
We say our sponsor today is uh Man Cave, man.
00:14:45.679 --> 00:14:47.279
Man cave is our sponsor.
00:14:47.519 --> 00:14:51.279
He don't have to cut the check, but truly, y'all cut the check.
00:14:51.360 --> 00:14:55.279
All right, so with that being said, I am the one and only coach DTL.
00:14:55.440 --> 00:14:55.919
Yeah, girl, Katie.
00:14:56.159 --> 00:14:57.919
Yeah, host us with the monsters, Kiki.
00:14:58.480 --> 00:15:06.960
And this has been a on location live recording from Relationship Reality Podcast, where we get busy every time.
00:15:07.120 --> 00:15:08.559
Make sure y'all tap in with us, man.
00:15:08.639 --> 00:15:11.519
We drop every Wednesday, every every Monday and Wednesday.
00:15:11.600 --> 00:15:12.639
We got something coming for you.
00:15:12.799 --> 00:15:15.120
We got the sports podcast coming for you on the way.
00:15:15.279 --> 00:15:16.720
You can follow Katie and everybody.
00:15:16.799 --> 00:15:17.840
We all on Instagram.
00:15:18.000 --> 00:15:21.200
We give you all that in the in the notes right there, right around here.
00:15:21.279 --> 00:15:22.240
Don't even worry about it.
00:15:22.320 --> 00:15:23.919
We gotta go get our food before you get caught.
00:15:24.080 --> 00:15:24.799
We appreciate y'all.
00:15:24.879 --> 00:15:25.279
We love you.
00:15:25.360 --> 00:15:25.600
Peace.
00:15:35.840 --> 00:15:37.279
Goodbye to my pain.
00:15:38.080 --> 00:15:39.919
Goodbye to my pain.
00:15:45.919 --> 00:15:47.120
So long bye bye.
00:15:50.879 --> 00:15:52.080
So long bye bye.
