Speaker 1:
0:00 Now it's time to be dangerous. Now it's time to get risky. Now it's time to truly find out what you're made of and what you could achieve. Now it's time to truly find out how many lives you could impact. Now it's time to find out what you were destined to become.
Speaker 3:
0:17 What up, we are back Monday night and I am your host, eric.
Speaker 2:
0:22 I'm Anthony Monday night and I am your host, Eric. I'm.
Speaker 3:
0:24 Anthony, we're Raw Minds. Holy brain fart there for a second. That whole little intro. We had a little problem at the start with the intro there. That was a little messed up, but we got it fixed. What the hell happened.
Speaker 2:
0:37 I don't know. Anyways, that's your excuse.
Speaker 3:
0:40 Me yeah, fuck, did I ever have a rough day? Man? Yeah, that was exciting, definitely. Someone said, oh, it was probably a heart attack. I was like, fuck, no, it was not. But yeah, my chest felt like it was caving in and it was really hard to breathe. I got two blood work done in both arms. I got another shot in the arm with what was it? Some kind of steroid and Advil, and that fucking cleared everything up. They gave me x-rays. They gave me what was it?
Speaker 2:
1:20 Ultrasound.
Speaker 3:
1:21 Ultrasound, that's it, yeah, and they couldn't find anything, so it was healthy. So so stress man, stress, buddy stress, I don't know man a lot going on, bro, it just moved, just moved, man. You know that was fucking stressful, yeah it's true well, we have an old friend today and dear old friend, very dear old friend, very special guest, very, yes, the the most various of the specialist of the guests yeah, and if you've been listening to this for a while pre my, you probably know this gentleman very fucking well. Yeah, buddy, mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:
2:09 Yeah.
Speaker 3:
2:10 Yeah, is he coming? There he is yeah, what's?
Speaker 2:
2:21 up boys, hey dude. It's been a while I had to knock boys.
Speaker 1:
2:23 Hey, dude, it's been a while. I had to knock the dust off this microphone. No doubt what's going down, boys, I'm surprised you still have it around, buddy, that's awesome. Oh, I walk by it every day and look at it, buddy, fucking you know for. Thanks for having me on.
Speaker 1:
2:43 First of all, it's definitely been a while and if you guys are new to this show, I am the OG that started this show with Eric Excuse me, me and Eric. You know we we started raw minds together and for just over a year and in that time, as most of you do know by now, you know Anthony was a guest a few times and then we brought him on as a co-host and then things happened in life where I had to make some changes and it was not easy, where I stepped away for a while from the show. I just want to say first that I'm so proud of you guys for carrying this show and anthony is he couldn't ask for a better host and previous co-host to to keep this running with eric. So you know I'm very grateful for that and you boys are killing it. You know I try to watch as much as I can on the, on the mondays and whatnot in between, the things that I got going on now. But I'm just beyond grateful and and blessed and proud to not only sit here again because it's been so long, but for you two boys to keep doing what you're doing and and saving lives. And that's why me and Eric started this to begin with is because we lived our lives in chaos and trauma and I 20 for me it was since I was five years old of abuse and and loss and et cetera.
Speaker 1:
4:16 Right, and that's why we started this is just to help people and especially men, because you know we struggle every day. Fact that I get to sit here again tonight means the world and, like I said, you guys are doing awesome and you just keep it going. Man. You got nothing but love and support from me, whatever you guys need, and even anyone listening. Even though I'm not on here every week, I'm still here. You know. If know, if you need to reach out, you need to talk. You're going through some shit that has never changed and that never will change. So thank you, boys. Hell yeah, man.
Speaker 3:
4:55 Can I just say you have like the world's blackest shirt on right now. I swear to God. And then there's me, casper the ghost, like disappearing act, here. I don't know what the hell's going on. Ever since I moved, man, my shit's been fucked up. You know, man it's it's. It was an honor to start this thing with you. Definitely, you know it was. It's pretty magical where it and and where it's now is, and the future that we have some of the shit that's coming up is just unbelievable. I never thought that. You know, sitting beside you that day and just like kind of throwing this just up in the air and see where it lands, and where it's landed right now is fucking wicked man. It's pretty wild. You know we're in 20 different countries. You know we've helped save men from lives.
Speaker 3:
5:55 You know we've made communities, made a lot of friends and connections all over the world, like amazing people too, very amazing people you know, and just getting to do this is just amazing, so I just want to say thank you to both of you guys.
Speaker 1:
6:10 Yeah you know this. When we started, this, as you know, came from a tragedy right, and as much as you'd want to rewind time and not have to have to have gone through that, you found a positive in that, though you know and I think a lot of us we really struggle to find the positives in those tragedies and in those negatives that happened to us in our life, because it's so devastating when this happens that all you can focus on is the pain and the hurt and the depression and the sadness. But without pain there's no growth, pain there's no growth. And when we go through these things, you've got to be able to dig down and find the light in that darkness, because if it wasn't for that back then, as hard and as sad as it was, you wouldn't be sitting here today. You wouldn't be sitting here today. I definitely wouldn't be sitting here today, neither would F. But through that pain.
Speaker 1:
7:31 You built or we built, I should say, a community to be able to help men especially that has gone through all the things that we've gone through and we've had to suffer through. That's what it's all about man Definitely.
Speaker 1:
7:52 It's all about finding those positives and the perspective and how you look at that and those situations right. The biggest thing that will change your life, I believe, now is your perspective yeah Right. So when all these your life, I believe now is your perspective yeah Right. So when all these things happen, little or big, that are the negative and the hurt and the pain when you're able to change the perspective on how you look at that situation, that's what's going to pull you out of that. That's what's going to get you to stand up faster when you take that knee Right. So without pain, there's no growth.
Speaker 2:
8:33 We've had a lot of great guests on who've shared their experience, and I agree 100% that it's all about perspective and how you perceive the things in your life, and you used to say it so well it was that book that you read and I'm going'm gonna fucking botch it, but I know you'll correct me. What was it called? What happened to you? Do you want to touch on that quick?
Speaker 1:
8:55 yeah, that was about, you know, when I the last downfall mental downfall, if you will, and mental breakdown and collapse that I had. This is three years ago, you know for anyone new listening like I just emotionally broke and I couldn't leave my bedroom for five days. I lost 30 pounds in six days. I couldn't eat and through that really dark time. You know, that's when I started to change my perspective. That's when I was using that pain to drive me rather than destroy me.
Speaker 1:
9:30 But part of coming out of that was that book and I started to read and I started to learn while I was going to counseling. And when I started to read that book while I was going to counseling and they actually recommended it and it's all about childhood trauma and the perspective and and there was a lot of things in there that was quite interesting actually and it really changed the way I thought of things or even the stories that I told myself. You know, seeing it from the other side, I'm like well, that's why I was like that, that's why I did that, you know. So it was quite a book and it was actually half. Half of the book was by Oprah Winfrey and a doctor. They did it together, so you know that that that was a big help in trying to get out of, you know, the hole that I was in, so I would check that out.
Speaker 2:
10:29 So, what would you say, joey, since taking making the decision you've made, like, what would you say, has been like your biggest turning point since being on the show.
Speaker 1:
10:44 My biggest turning point since being on the show. My biggest turning point since being on the show?
Speaker 2:
10:48 yeah, like what's some changes that you've made, like what's what's what's going on in joey's world nowadays?
Speaker 1:
10:55 you know, when I you know this, like eric and you even this this was doing this show from day one was my therapy as well. It wasn't just about helping other people, and I didn't realize how much of this was therapy for myself when I started this with Eric. This was about giving back and helping people because we've lived this life and we suffered and to come out of that, we can give back. But I didn't realize even during the show. Every week I still had a lot of work to do and when I did this every week, I just felt better. Every week it was my own therapy. We're taught like you know we re-preach this and you guys still preach it about talking about your problems. Right, and that's the biggest thing is not hold it in. You just got to talk and let it out.
Speaker 1:
11:51 And at the end, when I decided to walk from the show, I also realized that I was in my own struggle. You know, I was doing all these positive things but I was doing too many at once because I was. I think that was my way of trying to feel better still, because I'm trying to do this and I was building all these bridges but I was never finishing them Right. And I got to a point where I was getting so overwhelmed in myself because it wasn't hitting yet, I wasn't making that money yet, I wasn't you know on 10 podcasts yet as guests and this and that. And I just played it in my head because I was still carrying my past. You know the way I thought in the past when I was struggling.
Speaker 1:
12:42 So I realized that the turning point for me was I needed to really dial back and just focus on one and tell myself, like you know, when you do so many things, it's okay to take a break, it's okay to do this tomorrow, it's okay to not overwhelm yourself. And that was the main reason coming out of the show was I had to dial back in myself to refocus, reset and restart, right. And for me to accomplish the goals that I had written down and that I you know that I wanted to get to, I had to make sacrifices. And you know you guys got to realize too is sometimes you do got to make these sacrifices with either the people that you're hanging out with, even the positive things that you're doing and this was the biggest one and this was hard for me.
Speaker 1:
13:36 To walk away from the show when I did it was really hard, but I had to make that decision in order to refocus and redial in because I was. I was literally burying myself mentally, trying to do five things at once, and I had to realize to slow down. And since then and my turning point is it really like now, this year especially, and I thought I was healed, like for the most part, for the last year, year and a half. I'm good. I've never felt better, but I didn't realize how much shit I was still holding onto.
Speaker 1:
14:18 You know, we've talked about this numerous times in the past, about letting go Right, and sometimes you think you've let things go until something comes up down the road and it's a trigger and now it's affecting you again. You're like dude, I thought I fucking let this. Why is this affecting me? Why is this bothering me? I'm uh, I'm still getting anxiety again. I'm still, you know, still losing sleep over this again. All of a sudden it comes back.
Speaker 1:
14:49 Once I started to dial in and refocus and sit back and do meditation I did some more counseling again is you'll know when you really let something go and then you realize how much it opens up for you when you're able to let these things go and when you're able to be really self-aware, you notice how much like how you are blocking yourself from moving forward because you're stuck in your own head all the time, right, and when you remove those blocks it just opens up so much man. So the new me man is I've really truly now learned to let things go that I was holding on to and it was blocking me.
Speaker 3:
15:39 Did you find that you were maybe just trying to keep yourself busy by taking on all these other things? You know, just trying to keep yourself busy by taking on all these other things, you know, just to keep your mind busy, was that part of it too? Just you know, so you didn't have to focus on other things in life and more or less just have that shit going on in your on yourself.
Speaker 1:
15:58 100 and then when I was looking back in my counseling and all the things that I was doing, you know, a lot of people stay busy or they go to the bars, they drink and all that, and they socialize and then the tenders and all that, because that's a distraction from their problems that they don't want to deal with or face.
Speaker 1:
16:19 You know, like the monkey branching and relationships and this, and that it's all the same the monkey branching in relationships and this, and that it's all the same. Everyone's just finding their own distractions to avoid facing what they're struggling with. Yeah, the only difference I realized and I came to with me was I was doing all these positive things instead of going to the drink and this and that, yeah, but I was driving myself crazy because I was pushing so hard and every little money I have I'd throw it at this and then I'd throw it at that, hoping that it would hit and I'd feel better because I worked so hard. And, yeah, I worked my fucking ass off and I'm still doing it, but that was my distraction and my that was, yeah, from distraction from me looking at myself in the mirror and don't play an addiction though, because you're chasing that dopamine right, it's the same behavior.
Speaker 2:
17:12 Absolutely, man, it's. It's a I always say I said it a couple weeks ago like I always say that like addiction isn't all it's, it's not about the substance, because I can abuse anything in my life to prevent me from facing my reality, and sometimes it is um unanswered traumas and I wholeheartedly can relate to what you're saying, joey like there's stuff that I deal with, that I've dealt with and dealt with and dealt with, and then it's like something new, some new aspect of that situation comes up and it's just like we haven't really looked at this part of it yet. You know what I mean. So it's like continuing to do the work, whatever the work looks like, and not burning yourself out within the process. And eric and I have both, both said it, um, because people ask us like what's the hardest part about the podcast? And it's fucking balance, man, like it doesn't.
Speaker 2:
18:01 I, I feel like that's just like a general theme for men in general who are consistently trying to better themselves. Right is like finding the balance. Like like we're all single fathers, we all work construction, you know, like we've got this, you've got the clothing and the entertainment. I see you spinning the fucking tables and shit. Now you know what I mean like we've all got a lot of stuff going on and it's finding that balance and I'll be honest with you, man, like my me time now is a saturday when I don't have the kids, and sometimes those saturdays are literally just me existing and rotting on on the couch, not answering my fucking phone, not answering text messages, just like existing because that's all I have the capacity to do at that time because there's just so much stuff going on.
Speaker 2:
18:46 But it's also understanding that I need to be compassionate with myself within that as well, because it's one of those situations where it's like, listen, fucking a year ago, this is what I asked for, and now that I've got it, like I've had to make certain sacrifices along the way, and one of those things being my time for myself, and that's okay because this is exactly what I asked for. So I can't be fucking mad because I'm now somewhere where I wanted to be and now the consequence of me being here has caused my priorities to shift. You know what I mean. It's a, it's a catch 22 I don't know the right fucking word for it, but it's one of those situations where it's like everything has its pros and cons, right, like you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:
19:31 Like you, you stepped away from the podcast to focus on some other things and we applaud you for it. But it's like you said like this was your therapy right and then that was a sacrifice you had to make, and like I'm really glad that you did your own personal therapy, which is amazing as well and you've continued to put the work in and that's why we applaud you and appreciate you, because we know the type of person that you are and that you're going to continue to do those things Right.
Speaker 1:
19:56 A lot of people don't?
Speaker 2:
19:57 they get stuck in that little fucking self-pity area where everything's not good enough. This is what I wanted and even though I got it, it's not going to be good enough. And like there's never enough money, there's never enough time, like whatever man, like, learn how to be patient with yourself and understand that, like things take time, they take effort and the payoff is going to be there. If you truly believe in those things and you are a shining example of that I appreciate that. But and you are a shining example- of that.
Speaker 1:
20:23 Well, I appreciate that, but you know to go with something that you just said. Now you asked me, anthony, before I walked, like months ago, you asked me, I remember in one episode what is my favorite quote, or one quote that I live by, and this quote goes exactly with what you said. And when I read this quote every single day, I repeat it in my head. And whatever you're not changing, you're choosing. That's it, because if you look around and you're not happy with your life and you're not just, like you said, some people are complaining, they played a victim. You're choosing that. You chose that you are where you are in your life today because of you, nobody else. You chose that you are where you are in your life today because of you, nobody else. So if there's something in your life that is making you sad, depressed, stressed, only you can change that you got to put in the work it is.
Speaker 1:
21:17 Sometimes it is the hardest thing ever, like when I just said I was in my room for five days like, and I was figuring out and thinking of different ways I could kill myself and I decided I'm not. And then I looked in the mirror one day, on the sixth day and I looked in the mirror and I had sticky notes all over my mirror. You couldn't even see the mirror and it was all positive affirmations, goals, and I said you know what? I refuse to ever feel like this again. And that was my turning point to really making that change in my life and to get through 30 years of trauma, abuse, family loss, lost my son, my son's mom's, you know, sleeping in a tent, everything, all of it, and it just it was like a mental detox and I made that choice.
Speaker 3:
22:11 So when I read that, Remember when, ed, it's like pulling it out. You know you're literally like pulling out these bad thoughts and just getting rid of them.
Speaker 2:
22:19 Yeah, he did the action of fucking pulling it out of his brain and throwing it away.
Speaker 3:
22:23 Yeah.
Speaker 2:
22:25 Is that kind of like?
Speaker 3:
22:26 is that kind of like how you did it, or are you just like, like, like just dreamed it, like fucking out of your head?
Speaker 1:
22:33 I don't even know Like they. What do they call it A spiritual awakening? Yep.
Speaker 3:
22:37 That's exactly what it's called.
Speaker 1:
22:39 Yeah, and I thought you know, when you first hear that, for someone who's never talked to people, that's had that and everything, you're like that's fucking weird, like just. But at that time it was the most painful, enlightening thing I've ever been through in my life and, like you said, like it was just all these things started coming up that I've never thought of in 20 years or like just flashbacks of my childhood to this and it was like slowly, like peeling that onion and it was just fucking filtering out and it was excruciating. And then I just, and then it just fucking. But then at the same time I'm like this is the best thing that's ever going to happen to you. That's where I kept telling myself, because I have my kids, I'm like I can't let them, my kids down. And then I would tell myself every day like this is the best thing that's going to happen to you. This is going to change your life. But at the same time I was dying inside. But I was filtering out and like this mental detox Crazy.
Speaker 1:
23:37 But I needed to hit that rock bottom for me to get there, because I kept doing the same shit over and over my whole life and half the time I knew I was doing it and I just kept doing it and most of you listening and out there fucking do the same shit. Oh, I know I need to change. I know I need to go see a counselor. I know I do this, I do that Until something really fucking kicks you in the face, until you realize, like now, I need to change.
Speaker 1:
24:08 And that was it for me. So I just started filtering out and I just looked at myself in the mirror one day and I'm like that's enough, that's it, I'm done. I'll never do this to myself again in relationships, any of it. And then I just started to change and that's how I started to come out of it. And that's when I met you, eric, because the day I met you, when you moved into my basement so you mean, fucking, I was struggling hard, dude, I was and I just went downstairs every day with his ex-fiancee, you know, rest in peace and they were my counselors. So they, he, you moved into my basement for a reason I remember, um you're like fuck, someone's gonna move downstairs, I gotta be quiet again.
Speaker 3:
24:50 I was like buddy man, fuck, bring over an elephant. I don't give a fuck man. Stomp around your kids, whatever their kids, let them have their fun. Man, you know, and it was just, that was a big, big release for you to not have to worry about that.
Speaker 1:
25:04 Oh, that was that was big, but just coming down, not have to worry about that oh, that was, that was big.
Speaker 1:
25:06 But just coming down to talk to you guys, man, and we just met, and then almost every night I'm sitting downstairs for an hour, you know, and just yeah, and it was just like a release to be able to talk. And it goes back to again you guys, listening is talking about what's going on is one of the best things that you can do. It's a release. It's that letting go Right and when you bury everything that you got going on and it just builds up and builds up and then it explodes Right and then you bleed on the people that didn't cut you Right, no-transcript. And then you go to these distractions like we were just talking about.
Speaker 1:
25:52 For me it was trying to do this business and do this and do this and do this, and the whole time I'm like fucking high anxiety disorder, can't sleep, trying to just thinking that if it just pops off and it blows up, then I'm gonna feel better and I'm gonna buy this. And then I go and buy this new car and it feel better for two days and then I'm back to feeling shit again, you know but, yeah, it's nothing.
Speaker 1:
26:18 Is you have to fix the internal first? No materialistic, no fucking sports car, no fucking hundred grand in the bank. Sure, you'll be happy for a couple weeks, but you go right back to it because you never dealt with it, you didn't face it. Just like when you get out of a really bad breakup and you have a heartbreak. Jumping into the next relationship right away is going to take away a bit of it, because now you're distracted by the new person, but you never dealt with anything that happened in that fucking relationship. So all you're doing is carrying it over. You might not see it right away, but it's going to come out and that's why, especially in the relationship side, with rebounds they never last because the person that jumped from one to the other never fucking dealt with their shit Right. So eventually that's just going to fail as well. Because that's why you need to be alone. You need to take that time to really dig deep and figure out who you are, what you want, and go to the whether it's counseling or whatever it is that you you know women's groups, men's groups, whatever it is that works for you and to be able to let that go and talk about it sexual abuse and losing my son and losing my nephew and all this shit is just it's. It was so healing and for me to be able to move forward in my life.
Speaker 1:
27:53 And, like I said, the beginning of the show is you. You carry so many blockages, internal blockages, that you don't even realize. So if I have my hands full with all these blockages, how can I bring in anything else into my life? Or maybe being able to hold on to something new until I start releasing that and opening my arms? I can't do that. Yeah, so that's the same in your mind as those mental blocks. You have to be able to let that go in order to bring in the new. It's like the back and that's how you and that's how you move forward in your life. Because then I've only noticed this recently is because I truly let go in the last two or three months.
Speaker 1:
28:33 You know, and now all these positive, like the most positive things ever in my life is happening now and when you're able to heal and become better. All got work to do. It's a daily struggle. I still struggle, but for the most part, when you become more healed and we always talked about this, about being self-aware then you're able to be self-aware, to look back at wow, I was really holding on to these, and now I've, and when I'm able to let that go. And then you're seeing it from different perspectives in your mind, like that's why this is happening now, because I was able to let that go. And then you're seeing it from different perspectives in your mind, like that's why this is happening now, because I was able to let that go.
Speaker 1:
29:08 I was blocking myself for so long with the anxieties and you know, and that, whether it's hatred for somebody who stabbed you in the back or broke your heart, you know we hold onto that for so long that you're you're preventing yourself from bringing in anything new into your life, right. So the letting go was the big one, man, and now you know. I will say, though, is, even though I got to a point in the best place I've ever been mentally, you know I'm not a financial success yet, but I'm on my way and I'm I'm doing the most positive, the best people in my life, you know, business partners, you guys, just and that all comes to when you start to heal and become better in yourself, because that's what you're attracting now, right, if you're broken and damaged. You're only going to attract broken and damaged people. You don't attract what you want. You attract who you are, and that's in relationships, friendships, all of it.
Speaker 3:
30:11 You got to start with fixing what's in first right.
Speaker 1:
30:16 But I you know, yeah, but you know I will say, though you know I was thinking about it today and it was uh, it was uh. You know, when you live a life like everything is the best it's ever been, I have moments, even today, where it's almost hard, because I'm so used to that that sometimes I don't know how to accept and deal with this, if that makes any sense when I'm just so used to the anxieties and all this and now that all these positives are happening, some days I feel like I don't deserve it, or why is this?
Speaker 3:
31:07 happening or you don't fit in almost like, yeah, like I'm comfortable, right, very uncomfortable, so that we've we've talked about that before on like different episodes, it's where you're in the middle of change, right, and obviously change is scary sometimes, but at the same time, too, it's uncomfortable.
Speaker 3:
31:28 But in your most uncomfortable areas is where you strive the most and you learn the most lessons, you know. And that's where people get a little fucked up because they go into this uncomfortable like, say, you're meeting a new friend group, right, and you're with these people and you're feeling comfortable not a weird way uncomfortable, just uncomfortable. Go back to my drug dealer friends instead of hanging out with normal friends, because it's uncomfortable, it's because you're not used to it. And then that's what a lot of people go back to, whatever it may be, is because that's what they're comfortable, that's what they know, that's what you know they. That brings them warmth, because that's what they've been around their whole life, you know. But it's a matter of you taking that step and being in that uncomfortable spot and at the end of the day, you know you're in there for a while you're gonna be like, oh fuck, this is actually not too bad.
Speaker 1:
32:28 And then that's when you become comfortable in that uncomfortable spot that used to be too well, you know and it goes back to that book that Anthony brought up about what happened to you. In that book it talks about how, like with women, right, they are in toxic, abusive relationships their whole life and then there's a guy that comes around who treats them like gold and princess treatment, respectful, loving and they ended up self-sabotaging those relationships all the time because it makes them uncomfortable, because they're so used to the trauma and the abuse, even though they don't want it. No woman wants that kind of relationship, or anybody does.
Speaker 3:
33:17 That goes both ways, men and women.
Speaker 1:
33:19 Well, of course but they're so used to that and I never understood it because I I thought, you know, in my relationship history I never cheated, I always showed respect, I never swore at them, blah, blah, blah. I always thought I was this, I was like try to be the best guy I could. But then I remembered a few girls throughout the years that I treated like that and then all of a sudden they're back to their ex. That smacked them and I'm like I don't understand it. I don't get it until I read that book Right.
Speaker 1:
33:47 So that even applies to what I'm talking about right now is I lived a life and people in trauma, in abuse, in death and loss and all these things that now, for me, I've come out on the other side to the best place I've ever been, the clarity, the self-awareness, all of it. But it's making me uncomfortable sometimes and then I still get like anxiety attacks thinking about that, because this is uncomfortable for me, because I feel like some days I don't deserve it. I'm not used to this, like is this really happening? Because I'm so used to fucking breathing in a fucking brown paper bag, having anxiety attacks, or you know what I'm saying or depression pills do you find that like being where you are now especially reaping the benefits of your hard work?
Speaker 2:
34:39 do you find that like being where you are now especially reaping the benefits of your hard work? Do you find you have moments of like bracing for impact in a sense, because, like you know what I mean, like you said, like sometimes you feel like you don't belong there. But do you find that you have like moments where it's like fuck, this is too good, it can't be, there's no way it's going to be this good, like something bad's going to happen every day, yeah, every day.
Speaker 1:
35:04 And I, you know, even though I'm really good mentally every day, there's not a moment like if I know something, like we. You know, I got really good news today with my team and all these things, and because I lived in that headspace for so long, the first thing I thought about is how that's going to blow up.
Speaker 3:
35:28 Yeah, expecting something to happen, how?
Speaker 1:
35:31 and then, all of a sudden, I started getting anxiety. I'm like, fuck, am I nervous? Should I even do this? Like this is like I should be. And then I'd like today I was driving home from work, for example, like this is like I should be. And then I'd Like today I was driving home from work, for example, and I was just that pit in your stomach sometimes from the Anxiety and shit and I'm like, why the fuck you feel like this? There's Absolutely no reason whatsoever To feel like this when you have this news, last week's news, this news your kids are great. No mama drama, no nothing. And I'm thinking in my head like the fucking works Good, there's not a damn thing I should be feeling great. No mama drama, no nothing. And I'm thinking in my head like the fucking works good, there's not a damn thing I should be feeling like this about. But the biggest battle is inside your own mind. And now I'm creating this issue that hasn't even happened or would happen.
Speaker 2:
36:13 Yeah.
Speaker 3:
36:14 And then you're stressing yourself out in the future, I guess you could say for something that hasn't happened.
Speaker 1:
36:21 Yeah, and I'm sitting here today and I'm like, why are you struggling? Why, why are you uncomfortable? Why are you? Why is this hard for you? What? Why don't? And then I try to be civil, like the trigger in the past, and then I find the trigger, you know, and I seen a picture, and it was the most for someone like me who suffered high anxiety disorder, everything. This one picture was the most powerful picture to me and I have it as my wallpaper on your phone. It's not me, is it? I deleted that one when I left.
Speaker 1:
36:56 The show Is, and all it is is two circles, and one circle is filled completely in red and the other circle has a tiny little red dot in the other circle. That's it. And then, right underneath the full red circle, it says the problem in, or the problem in, your mind. And then the other one says the problem in reality. And I looked at that.
Speaker 1:
37:23 I'm like whoa, because all the problems are in your fucking head. The only one that holds us back is us, right, because 95% of the time that we have anxieties and we overthink it never happens, ever. But you've created the scenario and the story, like I'll find. I used to think I was way worse back then, but not as bad now, but it still crosses, but like the biggest worst case scenario, to the most positive thing that's happening to you at that moment, that this is gonna happen. And then you fucking freaking out and you get I don't know if I should do that Like I'm, like the fuck is wrong with you, but I've created that because that's all I know, that's all I've lived is the fucking Fight, or?
Speaker 3:
38:08 flight, man is what it is, you know, and it's tiring on your body, dude, because, like you're you, you get tense up, right You're're. Like you think about it when you're fighting your muscles, right they're, they're contracting and stuff like that.
Speaker 2:
38:21 Look at your fucking day today, bro, like that, stress is the same thing that's exactly what happened to me today yeah you know, is my whole body fight or flight?
Speaker 3:
38:33 I mean, I just moved, I'm dealing with a lot of things on my plate, a lot of fucking things you know, and it's just it kind of all caught up to me in the morning, yeah, so I'm a pure example. Take care of your fucking self, because I didn't.
Speaker 1:
38:51 But I mean that shows too, like, no matter how good you are, you're going to have your days and the only difference From now till then Is me overthinking, and the only difference from now till then is me overthinking and having severe anxiety for three days is now three minutes, or you know what I mean. So it's a big difference because once you get to a better place in your life and you level up and you know you do the work and whatnot is you're we're, we're human, you're going to have triggers. Once in a while. You're going to feel you know something come up from the past, but it's now. You're self-aware, now you know that this is triggering you. Now you know how to step back from it and look at it and and be able to face that without it affecting you or bringing you down again.
Speaker 2:
39:35 Right, well, you've actually put the tools in the fucking play. You know, you took the time to learn the tools and now you know how to use them when you need to use them, right, yeah, because this is life, man, we're.
Speaker 1:
39:47 We're especially at our age and getting older is your. People are like family members you know God forbid are going to pass away. This is just what happens when we get older, more you know what I mean. You don't know what tomorrow brings. Life can kick you in the face in one phone call. We can get off this podcast an hour later, devastating news we don't know. You just got to be able to push through anything. That all these negatives, like I said, the beginning of the show is, is the perspective. You know I went through a few medical things you know, right before Christmas, for example. They actually like, for I was getting tested for life threatening diseases.
Speaker 1:
40:33 Yeah, that was fucking scary buddy dude. I was a fucking mess for two weeks. I thought I was literally dying. Everybody, dude, I was a fucking mess. For two weeks I thought I was literally dying.
Speaker 1:
40:42 I was crying as soon as I hugged my kids, thinking that and I was getting all these tests, thinking that I was I was gonna get there telling me that I'm gonna die soon, right, and then I had shingles right after that, and then I just had fucking head surgery two weeks ago. You know so all these things. But in that, all I could tell myself was because of where I've gotten to, I'm like nothing is taking me off this cloud that I'm flying on right now. Like what is the positives in this? Why is this happening and what can I do to get out of that instead of let it weigh on me and take me down? Right, but that's because I built those tools right and I'm still we, we all still add into that tool belt, right, but it's uh like one of my best quotes that I ever got from one of my old therapists.
Speaker 2:
41:28 He told me it was kind of the same thing like fight or flight. He's like how often are you like worried for a bad day? I'm like every day, every day is going to be a bad day. I wake up I know it's going to be bad and he's like, okay, but let's think about this realistically. Say there's 30 days in a month. Let's say three of them are bad. Don't spend 27 fucking days preparing for those three bad days.
Speaker 2:
41:51 Deal with those bad days as they come and 90% of the time, like you said, joey, even if it doesn't go the best way, even if it goes the worst way, realistically it's probably not as bad as you make it in your head. You know, and one of my favorite quotes from Bill Burr. He was on a podcast and he's like it's going to be fine. But even if it's not going to be fine, isn't it better thinking that it's going to be fine? You know what I mean. So if you just have that positive outlook and it's not fine, well, at least you can find something positive For it to be fine about. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:
42:26 Definitely I can genuinely see the shift in you, joey, and I'm not bullshitting. I can hear it when you talk, the shift, and I can hear this, this level of ease when you speak, if that makes sense. It doesn't feel like that uptight, like I've got a lot of shit going on. I can tell you, I know you have a lot of shit going on, but it's not. I don't hear it anymore. It's like I've got a lot of shit going on. This is where I'm at, but it's all fucking good man.
Speaker 3:
43:00 It's good shit that's happening Like you got it in order, you're. You know what I mean. You're. You're on the right track.
Speaker 2:
43:06 Yeah.
Speaker 3:
43:07 Yeah, can I just say my disappearing act is fucking driving me crazy.
Speaker 2:
43:13 Dude, you're like slowly fade out and then you just reappear.
Speaker 3:
43:20 And then I reappear again and like I'm just gonna get closer.
Speaker 1:
43:21 I don't know what the fuck is going on ever since I moved, man anyways, but I think I got to a point where I know I've gotten to a point where I have to be good. I won't let that take me down. I won't let that because of the work that I've put in, especially in the last two years, in myself, my physical, my mental, all of it I'm like nothing is going to take me down from this. No relationship, no, nothing. All it's going to do is fucking drive me even more.
Speaker 1:
43:50 Yeah, but people, you got to get to that point where you can't allow one person to ruin the rest of your life and the things in your lives that you're doing. Or you know situation and, yeah, some situations, like what Eric had to deal with fucking one phone call changed everything. You know that's the fuck. Yeah, it did that. You don't know how to process, you don't and those things and you know so. But in that you, you really like you did Eric is you got to find change the perspective on how you look at things and your pain is your biggest fucking motivator. There is, yeah, man.
Speaker 3:
44:31 That's what I call it Pain to power.
Speaker 1:
44:34 Pain to power, man, it is your pain is your biggest blessing. Yeah, 100%. You use that pain to fucking drive you. 100 to get, that's what I do man?
Speaker 3:
44:46 I can't fail. I don't have failure in my blood. I I can't fail, you know, and if I'm failing, I'm failing forward, I'm not failing backwards, you know. That's where I learned my biggest lessons, that's where my biggest fight is, man. And we all need to do that, you know. You all need to just reach down and and have that drive, turn that fucking, that pain into the power. Yeah, but you know what?
Speaker 1:
45:12 If you're trying, you didn't. Even if it didn't work out, you didn't fail. You know why you failed Cause Didn't work out, you didn't fail. You know why you failed Cause you didn't fucking do anything, and that's failing because you're doing nothing.
Speaker 1:
45:23 Then you got most of these people that are complaining, like we said at the beginning well, poor me. Oh, my job sucks and I'll never afford that car and I'll never go on that vacation. You fail. They've failed because they're doing nothing about it. They've just sat back and let life fucking kick them in the face and just accept it.
Speaker 1:
45:42 You know you sit there and complain and complain and you don't change. I need to lose weight, but you're not going to the gym. You don't like your job or you hate it, but you're not looking for another one, or you're not going back to school, or you're not trying to elevate. You're not trying to do all this shit. That's failing. You're not trying to do all this shit. That's failing. And if you are in the same place you are today, a year from now, and nothing has changed, and that's all you've done, you have wasted a whole year of your life and you have failed Because you've not learned nothing new. You're not elevated in your income. You know you've not whatever renovated your home because you hate the way it looks and how you feel in your own home.
Speaker 1:
46:21 Any of that shit that's failing, trying and it not succeeding is not failing. That is learning, that is growing, because no successful millionaire businessman fucking just got it right the first time and never failed and fucking got there Fucking hundreds of times. Man, how many fucking failed relationships have we had till you had to learn your lesson? More than the one you're in now is the best relationship you've ever been in, because you've learned from every fucking relationship that you failed at that you made mistakes in, and that's same with me. I've fucked the shit I learned in therapy about my relationship history, holy fuck. But even though I knew I was a good guy, I I made a lot of mistakes, but in different ways, and I just kept hurting myself, self-sabotaging, like most people do, etc. Breaking my own heart, let alone theirs, unintentionally, but I you know. But I learned from all that and it took the last heartbreak to rip me apart where I realized, like that's enough, man, you can't keep doing this. And that's when I started making the changes in that area and this area.
Speaker 3:
47:33 And then you start forgiving yourself and other people too. And when I say forgiving other people, people, it's not for them, it's for you.
Speaker 1:
47:41 So you can heal well, and that's the biggest thing is about letting go the people that done you wrong, the people that hurt you, the people that you thought were your best friends, that stabbed you in the back. Yeah, it fucking sucks, yeah it hurts, but the longer you hold on to that, like I said, you're just holding on and your arms are full. You can't let anything else into your life because you're just fucking bear hugging this shit. You can't let it go. But until you open your arms, you're not able to bring anything new into your life, right?
Speaker 1:
48:12 So, no matter what it is and then you ever heard that let them theory by that one female podcaster Let people be them. They're going to do what they want to do regardless. Yeah, exactly, and it's so true. Once you just let them be who they are, let them be a piece of shit. If that's what they are, let them not phone you back. Let them. Who fucking cares? And when you hold on that because you're trying to change the situation or you're trying to change them, it fucking drives you into the ground because they're not doing what you think they should be doing, when you should just let them do what they want to do, because they're going to do it anyways. Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3:
48:49 Yeah Well, you're not their keeper. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:
48:52 Well, that's it, and we hold on to that because you're trying to have control of the situation, or that person, or or you wish that this person, uh was this way, because you're that way. Like that was my biggest, one of my biggest downfalls is I always thought that everybody was like me and then, when they weren't, it crushed me. Why are we? Why would you do that to me? I wouldn't do that to you. Why are you acting like that? I wouldn't act like that and I would hold onto it forever, but it would just it.
Speaker 1:
49:26 Internally, it was killing me. But then I got to a place where I'm just like you want to be a fucking loser, then be a fucking loser, I don't care, I'm not losing sleep over now, and if you want to be my friend, be my friend. If you act like that, then we're not friends. I'm not losing sleep over it and that's a part of that letting go, because that changed everything. When you're able to actually do that Is to let people be who they are, let things go, and even in relationships and even in friendships, if they are the one, it is impossible to fuck it up. It's so true, no matter what you say, because if you acted different, or if you were abusive, or if you were this and they left, or you left, that means they weren't the one, otherwise you wouldn't have done it. You cannot fuck it up. So, even in your business, if that is the business you were supposed to do, if that is the friends you were supposed to be with, you cannot fuck it up.
Speaker 3:
50:18 And if that person or that business didn't work out, that you were supposed to be with. You cannot fuck it up.
Speaker 1:
50:21 And if that person or that business didn't work out that you were working on, that means that wasn't the business you were supposed to do. That wasn't the person you were supposed to be with, because if they were, you wouldn't have fucked it up, or they wouldn't have fucked it up To end that relationship with you or that business deal or that friendship, because if they were your real friend they'd still be here. And if that's the girl you're supposed to be with or guy you would still be with, but one of you fucked it up. So that means that's not the person you're supposed to be with, that's not supposed to business you're supposed to be in and that's not the friend you're supposed to be hanging out with let me ask you guys this what's your intake on this?
Speaker 3:
50:55 I want to know what you think of this. So what they say is keep one eye on your enemy and two eyes on your friends. Do you guys agree with that?
Speaker 1:
51:13 Yes and no, because I think if you got to really watch your friends, then I think you got the wrong friends.
Speaker 3:
51:22 Just going to say that.
Speaker 2:
51:23 And the other part of that is, if you're giving your enemy any type of attention, you're wasting your fucking time, because now you're just giving them power in your life and they shouldn't have any, anyways you're letting people live rent free in your fucking head at the end of the day.
Speaker 1:
51:39 I turn, turn your enemies in the fucking fence. That's what you gotta do when you're being in life and you're going hard and you level up is you will turn fucking haters in defense, enemies in defense, because they're going to get to a point where nobody wants to hear them talk about themselves. So they'll start talking about you because of all the shit that you're doing, and now it's interesting to other people. They hear what you're doing coming from them, and now they become low-key, a fan, and it goes from fuck that guy, I don't like him to. Oh yeah, I went to school with that guy, you know. And then he's trying to fucking upsell who you. You know I'm saying so, but you have to get to that point in your life where you know the haters, the enemies, whatever is you know, I'm going to put something up here on the chat, and this is from Overcoming.
Speaker 3:
52:26 I appreciate this, but I just want to put this up here. So people come into your lives for a season, definitely. They also, I believe, come in for a reason and also a lifestyle. So you have the three categories right there reason, season and lifetime. Yes, reasons, seasons and lifetimes. Thank you for that, by the way.
Speaker 3:
52:50 And it's true, some people just come in your life to to teach you something. Maybe jules, my fiancee, came into my life to show me what true love was. I got to experience true love. It was beautiful and there's many people in this world that will never get to experience that. I thought I had love until I was into that relationship, you know, and that's why she came into the relationship, maybe to you know, show me that.
Speaker 3:
53:19 Obviously other things, but that was a major thing, right? You know some people come in and show you that. You know you're being stupid. It's lessons in every little thing, man, and at the end of the day, you can fucking hate me all you want. At the end of the day, we all use each other. You know. Everybody uses everybody. Everybody steps steps on everybody, and I'm not saying like it's a bad thing. You know some, we all need support. At the end of the day, we can't all do this by ourselves. You know, and I'm not saying it's a like a bad way but then there's people that do use people in bad ways as well.
Speaker 1:
53:55 That's just my little intake there's also, you know, when I look back at my last real relationship is I believe that some people come into like sometimes you come into someone's life to show them what real love is and they show you how to love yourself.
Speaker 3:
54:12 Yeah.
Speaker 1:
54:14 Because the heartbreak that I learned, or what I learned from that heartbreak and the realization of the things that I did inside of that relationship before it was over, was that she came into my life to fucking teach me how to love myself.
Speaker 3:
54:30 Because maybe, yeah, you're the teacher. Maybe you are the teacher for that person. You know, maybe take yourself out. Why is this happening to me? Why is this happening to me? Why is this happening to me? Well, maybe actually you're the star in someone else's show that needs to learn these lessons, and you're teaching them the lessons because it's not your turn to you know, learn the lesson yet and you're the teacher well that that relationship taught me how to love myself.
Speaker 1:
54:59 You know, I came in doing everything I thought was right and when it was over, it really showed me how to love myself. Because, when I look back, I never loved myself, ever. I was too messed up, it was impossible for me to love myself and, like we talked about earlier man, it was distraction after distraction and bury all these traumas and the depression and the suicide attempts and the suicidal thoughts and you name it. But until that last week when I was in my room and that was part of that heartbreak was a part of that is when I really learned how to love myself. You know, and it's the most you know cliche thing to say about, if you don't love yourself, how can you love anybody else?
Speaker 2:
55:47 but that that's fact, straight up yeah, bro, the the fucking hardest question to answer, especially with the guys that I deal with in recovery. The first time I sit with them at some point in the conversation I'll just straight up ask them do you love yourself? And every time it's nope, not one bit. You know, loving yourself is the fucking one of the hardest things to do. But I've said this before like it's hard to love yourself because, at the end of the day, every shitty situation that you've been in is because you put yourself there. You know it's hard to trust yourself. It's hard to love yourself because, regardless of the other side of every scenario, circumstance, whatever it be, you are the reason that you were there.
Speaker 2:
56:31 I've been in situations where I've actively been telling myself I don't want to fucking be here. So then why didn't I leave? You know what I mean. But I'd stay. But then it's like well, clearly I don't fucking love myself because, like why would I put myself in a position to be harmed in that way? So loving your health, loving yourself, is extremely hard, and I think it was grant that we had on, where he asked, we asked if we loved ourselves and he's like yep, but everyone always has a but I love myself, but Right, remember, and that's what it is for me. I love myself, but there's a couple things in my life that deserve a little bit more attention than I've given them in the past few months, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3:
57:13 What was that? What's that actor? He's like all right, all right. Oh, Matthew McConaughey, Matthew McConaughey, Buddy, he's got one of the best speeches you know. Have you ever heard his graduation speech?
Speaker 2:
57:26 Like he goes to the school and does a speech for all the graduates yeah, there's a ton of them that I listen to man, matthew McConaughey.
Speaker 3:
57:37 Denzel Washington, jim Carrey, they all have great ones. Matthew McConaughey though his just blew me out of the water, you know, because like he's like he's talking about like filling his bucket, he's got different. So he's got like family, friends, their school, and then business or and like whatever you know. And if he starts like if a little bit of it's going, a little like he's only got a little bit there, then he takes away from another one to give. And Only got a little bit there, then he takes away From another one to give. And it's about Balance, right, it's about feeding Feeding what you need at the Time, you know, but keeping a good Balance around it. Yeah, man, it's, it's a gooder, definitely. I used to listen to that all the time.
Speaker 2:
58:14 I used to listen to the Denzel Curry one or not Denzel Curry, sorry, he's a rapper, denzel Washington, and he's not Denzel Curry sorry, he's a rapper, denzel Washington. And he's the one who says fall forward.
Speaker 3:
58:24 Yeah, yeah, I never watched that one, but I'm going to watch it. Oh, I'll send it to you. It's fucking good man. Or the Army one. That's where I like I forget he's a general or I don't know what he is exactly, exactly I'm not too sure the terms and he's like make your bed every fucking morning, man, oh yeah and it's true yeah, and it's true, man, you start the day off making your bed and you make your bed.
Speaker 3:
58:48 That's a goal that you fucking crush. So now you're starting your day off winning, you know, and you just make these little goals during the day, fucking brushing, brushing your teeth, fucking having a shower, but they don't have to be big goals, it's small goals, but at least you're crushing them. Which then your internal, your, what's that fucking thing called your? That thought you're no, you're fucking other part of your brain that fucking thinks for you, you're self-conscious. Then you know it, it knows this is a win. It doesn't know your consciousness doesn't know if it's bad or good.
Speaker 1:
59:22 So you like making these little wins and it's it boosts your whole fucking day, man, you know knocking off goals, it helps you well, and then part of that is the routine, right, creating a routine where you're doing these little things and p and I've even noticed it around my house but those little things is by upkeeping your house, making your bed, doing this and it it really changes your mood, especially when this is where you lay down, this is your home, this is where you come into.
Speaker 1:
59:51 You know, and I know sometimes when we're really struggling and I've been there we all have where you just overstep things laundry on the floor, you didn't fucking wash, you left dishes in the sink for three days, you didn't change the washing machine. You didn't do this because you're so fucking hurting and struggling in your mind that you literally like my dad would come over and I'd like step over a fucking shirt on the ground and he's like, well, you fucking pick that up. And I didn't even notice it because I'm in fucking autopilot, right, and you're struggling. But when you start doing those little things makes a huge, huge difference, just on those little things and creating that routine and keeping your house clean and decluttered and one degree.
Speaker 1:
1:00:35 And it sounds, it sounds cheesy man, but cluttered, and one degree. And it sounds it sounds cheesy man, but I tell you, man, for your mental health, huge difference man, huge, huge, yeah, one degree.
Speaker 2:
1:00:45 I think it was kim who was on and he said small goals equal big results, was it not? Did he not say that last week? I believe fact yeah, facts.
Speaker 1:
1:00:55 Because then it starts to carry over right, like going to the gym right now you're, you're feeling a little bit better, your house is done, I got a little bit more time. Now you decide to go for a walk. Now that walk turns into a yoga class and then that yoga class turned into a fucking. Then you start, and that's that one degree we always talked about in the beginning of our show when we started is do one little thing every day outside of your normal day and then, like, you're in that ship, right, and it's on a destination path, but you offset, you steer it one degree off. You're not going to see in two, three weeks the change of the fucking destination of that ship, but three months later you're in a completely different Island, you're in a completely different country because every day you're doing that 1% extra out of your day to day and that's going to lead you into a class, a room.
Speaker 1:
1:01:47 You know and it's happening right now with me and my business partners, who are amazing people, is they're even seeing it and we're seeing it where, now, because I did this little thing, now we've met this person. And now, because we did this little thing, now we've met this person. And now, because we did this, now we've met these people. And now, because we met these people, it's coming back around and we're like holy shit, like this is awesome, but that goes back, my friend, but that that goes for anybody in their, in their life in general.
Speaker 1:
1:02:14 It doesn't even have to be business, it's doing these little things. Not only does it change your mental state significantly, but you never know who you're going to meet because of that one little extra thing, because you decided to, you know, go to the gym that morning, or you decided to do a cycling class that morning. You decided to go to a cooking class, right, a cycling class that morning. You decided to go to a cooking class, right, and just start doing these little things. And all of a sudden, you, when you look at your life six months later, you would like. There's no way I thought I'd be doing this right now. There's no way. If it wasn't for this back then, I wouldn't have met you here and I wouldn't now be in this relationship, the love of your life, you don't know. But if you stay in this routine, or this routine of the same shit, like I said earlier about those people that don't elevate, they don't make changes, they just play victim, they're just in a straight line. There's no, it's the same destination. They're going back and forth on this fucking line of life and nothing changes. They're not seeing the fucking palm trees are just fucking. And it's the same, you know, and they're just wasting their, their time. And you know, every day we wake up you're one day closer to death every day. So what are you going to do with that time left right, and that really plays on my head. And now it's man, just do these little things. Make your bed when you wake up. Clean the dishes. It sounds so fucking dumb, but the difference that makes you know, and those tiny little things, like you said, small goals equals big wins. Because now you've created a habit of keeping your house clean and now doing the yard, and now you've created a habit of now you're doing hikes and now you're doing fucking mountain climbs and now you're doing this. It's just, it's all these things, but that one percent every day is you've got to just step out of being comfortable and being uncomfortable and just telling yourself you got to do this, push yourself. And I am able to preach on this because, from where I came from to now, I'm not a huge financial success yet, but a mental success. I have tried to kill myself twice. I've thought about killing myself every day for years and to come from that to now is all because of those little things and that's how it starts. You feel good about one thing. Now you start to feel good about another thing and now, eventually, because you can outrun depression I had high anxiety disorder.
Speaker 1:
1:04:58 95% of my anxiety now is gone because I outran it. I outworked it. You don't need and I'll tell you this right now because I did take it for a little while you do not need depression pills. You do not need anxiety pills. That is all bullshit. It is all in the work that you do in yourself and when you create a routine and you find a purpose, whatever that is that gives you life that you enjoy. Now you're so focused on these positive things and you come home and your house is clean and now you're looking forward to this class and going to this school and doing this. You don't have time to be depressed. You don't have anxiety anymore because now you're excited, now you're feeling happy.
Speaker 1:
1:05:48 So all that medication, shit it might help right off the bat, depending on the situation. Don't get me wrong. But you can outrun the anxiety and the depression. But it all comes with the work that you're going to put in and it all starts not only on the internal but these little things around you, in your house, in your yard, at your job Massive. And when I started to do these little changes to get to where I'm at now, I got off depression pills literally overnight. I woke up one day and said I don't need this anymore and then I started to do this and then I found more purpose and in the drive to do this and then I started to do that Right and now my house looks is always better than it's ever looked, and this and these little things, but that's a huge part in your mental health Mass.
Speaker 3:
1:06:35 So, to sum that up in a short form don't be a fucking victim. Smarten the fuck up and don't be a bitch and fucking get her done.
Speaker 1:
1:06:46 Well, pretty much sums it up don't be a fucking victim. Stop being a victim. Nobody wants to hear you complain, because you are where you are because of you. You are there wherever you are in life, whether you're fucking like it or you don't, are because of you. You are there. Wherever you are in life, whether you're fucking like it or you don't, is because of your choices, not because of what happened to you.
Speaker 1:
1:07:05 Bottom line period Take a look around. You're not happy with it. It's because of the choices that you've made. You should have made better fucking choices. And then you know we've all made bad choices, but now you can change and make better ones. Now you can come out of that. But it's only up to you, nobody else. Right, you're not happy with where you are? Make a change.
Speaker 1:
1:07:28 And again it goes back to those little things inside your house, inside your work, right? Everyone gets so stuck because they've been doing the same fucking thing for 20 years, the same job. This is all I know. No, because there's a million jobs out there. Well, it's hard. Yeah, it might be a little difficult, but that's, that's what's work. How miserable are you? How, how bad do you want to change. What is it going to take for you to make that change? Because most people won't change until you have to. And me being in my room fucking contemplating 10 different ways on how to fucking kill myself that was my Fucking. I know I needed to change. That was my bottom, right there. And most people won't change until you have to. Right, just like you're not gonna. Most people don't quit smoking until the doctor Tells you you're gonna die. Now you have cancer. Now all of a sudden, boom, you can quit smoking. Like that, like that, it's the same thing right Change before you have cancer.
Speaker 1:
1:08:18 Now all of a sudden, boom, you can quit smoking. Like that, yeah, exactly Like that. That's the same thing. Right, change before you have to, Because then if you don't, and then you drag it out, say you're especially like, for example, your weight. Now you just, you know, you're a little bit overweight, you're not really happy, and then you're lazy, you don't go to the gym, fucking. Two years later you've gained 60 more pounds. How much harder is it now to change that when you decide you actually want to change it. Right. So start now the little things. Start changing them now.
Speaker 1:
1:08:49 Yeah, don't wait for New Year's, don't let it build up and it's the same with the shit that we hold inside of ourselves that we don't talk about. It's the same thing. Side of ourselves that we don't talk about, it's the same thing. Yeah, if you don't talk about it and you don't change these little things now and deal with it, all you're doing is adding on to it. You're gaining that weight, you're fucking, your house is getting messier, this and that, but that's the internal. I'm just. I'm saying you know, what I mean is analogy, is building up and building up, and then when you do have to change because it blows up in your face now, it's so much harder to get out of that now because you have buried yourself so far under the ground that you have to find a way to fucking dig yourself out and it's going to take a long time.
Speaker 1:
1:09:33 So instead of allowing that to build up internally is talk about reach out. Do whatever you got to do. Start with those small wins now. Look yourself in the mirror and say you know what? I can't feel like this anymore. I need to change. Okay, what do I got to do? Write it down, whatever it is your goal, tackle it a routine. Find purpose, because most people know that they're struggling. Most people know why they're struggling. Most people know why they're struggling what they've had to do what?
Speaker 1:
1:10:02 they've had to deal with. I'm fine, I can deal with it. I know a lot of people that dealt with real tragedies 10 years ago and they're still dealing with it Because they couldn't deal with it, they didn't face it, they couldn't let it go Any of that. And again they're fucking bear hugging the fucking traumas and they can't bring anything into their life because that's all they know, that's all they're holding on to. But you got to be able to let that go.
Speaker 3:
1:10:26 So what you're saying is, when you're telling people to reach out, hook us up, man, reach us out at rawmindspodcast at gmailcom, you know, come share your stories, reach out us. Reach out to joey, reach out to anthony well, anthony's raw minds, joey's always going to be raw minds, um, but yeah, reach out to us, man, we'll help you. We, we got the resources, wherever you live. Fuck, no problem, we have that shit. Man, come just shoot the shit. You need someone to vent to. Man, we're cool like that. This is what we do. So, like Joey says, man, reach out. You know, like I, said.
Speaker 1:
1:11:04 You know I might not be on the show right now and that doesn't mean I'm not here. I will help anybody that I can, you know, just like Eric and Anthony. That's why we started the show. That's why they're continuing. The show is if, if you're not comfortable to go in to see a counselor or psychiatrist, whatever it is, shoot Eric, anthony and email fucking Eric and Anthony If they. You know there's something I can help with on my end that I've been through that they haven't. I'm still here in the back. I will fucking do anything I can. I will phone you, I will call you, we can all talk, group me, whatever you want to do. You know, and I know these guys as well would love to. Just, you know, if you want to share stories, you know, reach out to these guys and just if you really want to help. But again, just because I'm not here every week doesn't mean I'm not here well, it fills our bucket.
Speaker 3:
1:11:57 You know, I mean, this is what. This is what we do. We're passionate about mental health, men's mental health specifically, let's face it. I mean us men. We need help. We just bury everything, right? Fuck, I still do it, man. I'm not ashamed to say that. This is why I started this podcast, so maybe I could fucking figure this shit out too with you know, I mean, that's why we're wrong. I'm not gonna sit here and fake something. Oh, everything's perfect my life, fuck. No man, my shit's falling apart, but I'm still here giving her and showing you. You know, like this shit's real man, you know so 100 of this?
Speaker 1:
1:12:32 it's yeah, man, we wear that backpack every day as men, and and there's no scripts, nothing like this, any fucking thing that happened.
Speaker 3:
1:12:40 Like me going in and out like a fucking ghost on this shit. I mean all our, all our bloopers, all that shit. We it's all comes out, man, this. We want to be authentic as possible. What you see is what you get. We're not editing all this. The only shit that you're gonna see that's editing is obviously the intro and the outro. Other than that, we're fucking real man. We tell how it is and hate us or love us. Man, at the end of the day, we just speak the truth. We ain't going anywhere. Fuck no man. We're getting. Bigger is what it is.
Speaker 3:
1:13:10 That's right well, boys, you know what again it is it actually joey, I don't think we told you, but this is a 15-hour episode. We're pulling here, buddy.
Speaker 1:
1:13:22 You know, I can do it too. You know, I can just keep going, I will, I'll fucking keep going dude. It's been a while. I love you boys, man and to be back on the show man from where we started to come back on.
Speaker 1:
1:13:36 You know, like this tonight, I really needed this. Like I said earlier, I was kind of Fucking one of those days and I'm just like Now that I've sat here and talked with you guys about life and all this shit, dude, like I, just Dude I already feel better, man, every time I used to come on here. Man, and you know what again, anthony, man Couldn't ask for someone better. Buddy, your fucking family. I appreciate you bro.
Speaker 2:
1:14:01 I genuinely mean that.
Speaker 3:
1:14:03 He's coming down soon, man. We haven't figured out a date yet, but he's coming down soon. We're going to work that out. I'm going to fly out there.
Speaker 2:
1:14:09 Yeah.
Speaker 3:
1:14:09 We're going to go for high tea. What the fuck is high tea.
Speaker 2:
1:14:14 Do I even want to ask that question?
Speaker 3:
1:14:16 No, it's just fucking fancy tea with biscuits and shit. Okay, we ain't going for fucking high tea.
Speaker 2:
1:14:23 Before we shut this down, because I'm never going to forget again I have one question.
Speaker 3:
1:14:28 Hold on. Before you do that, before you do that, there's just one other thing I want to bring up here. Overcoming's just fucking said a wicked thing, man, and I want to post this, and I think you guys should check this out. This is fucking awesome. Thank you, overcoming. It's the only way to figure it out right. Each one reach one, teach one. I fucking love that buddy. I appreciate you.
Speaker 2:
1:14:54 That's really good, what's going on, odie?
Speaker 3:
1:14:57 Huh, what's going?
Speaker 2:
1:14:58 on Odie. Huh, what's going on?
Speaker 3:
1:14:59 Odie, what's going on with me? Yeah, okay, now go, now go. I thought that was really great.
Speaker 2:
1:15:07 I thought it was a great fucking post that. But what's your message to the?
Speaker 3:
1:15:11 world in one sentence. Fuck you, I was waiting for you to say something first. No, no no this is you, this is our thing that we do with the people that come on, man the new thing we started blindsiding people with.
Speaker 2:
1:15:33 Yeah, we love it.
Speaker 1:
1:15:35 I think what I used to end the show with every time is one message is if you can't find good people, you be good people.
Speaker 2:
1:15:44 Yeah, we missed that, buddy I literally said it two weeks ago and I quoted you for it? And I think no, that was Scott and Zach. When we were talking to them last night, I think they said that yeah, it was.
Speaker 3:
1:15:56 Scott and Zach, which reminds me, this Sunday we're going to be on their podcast. Yes, we are. Yeah, man, um, I think I'm going to post it live on on TikTok, on our TikTok, right On our TikToks, but I can't, I won't be able, to post it on our YouTube and stuff like that. Eventually they'll, they'll send it to us and we can put it up definitely.
Speaker 2:
1:16:18 So if you guys are watching on any other platform aside from TikTok, add us on TikTok or add Dad Talks on YouTube, subscribe to them and then you can watch it live there. If you're more comfortable watching on YouTube, facebook or Instagram, just go, add all their socials and you can find us there on Sunday. If you have us on Tik TOK, we'll be live on our own socials on Sunday, but aside from that, it's going to be dad talks for everything.
Speaker 3:
1:16:44 Yeah, hit those guys up, man. They're good. They got a great little podcast going on there, man, we appreciate them. They're true friends of ours now. Yeah, we'll be doing a lot of back and forth stuff, you know, and we love what they're doing and they're shit's awesome.
Speaker 2:
1:17:01 And if you guys do want to stay in touch with us outside of the podcast and we do have a discord, a beautiful discord that eric set up so you can follow us on discord, um, and also we have a website, raw mindsca. We have resources for anywhere in the world. If you're struggling, you can find it there. You can find all of our episodes there as well. You can find some little about me stuff for eric and I on there as well. And you want me to drop the thing? Yeah, so we are doing a collaboration with an apparel brand called mad apparel make a difference.
Speaker 2:
1:17:32 We are collabing with them for a giveaway. We are going to be giving away a hoodie that is valued at $350, because they spared no expense and we kind of helped them design it, but in creating this hoodie, they buy their product from the same factory that Drake buys his OVO product from. Once we have more information on how you can enter that giveaway, we will share it on our social media as well. We'll probably make a post on YouTube as well, just to kind of let you guys on how you can enter that giveaway. We will share it on our social media as well. We'll probably make a post on YouTube as well, just to kind of let you guys know how you can get entered in that giveaway, and we will be having one of the founders of Matt Apparel on the podcast in two weeks.
Speaker 3:
1:18:09 I believe it is two weeks, I think we have.
Speaker 2:
1:18:11 Scott next week and then I think we have Mark. So in two weeks we will have hopefully we will have the sweater to be able to show you and we will have the information on how you can enter the giveaway. So if you guys want to just get ahead of the game, I'll tell you right now go follow Mad Apparel on Facebook and Instagram, because I definitely know they have those social medias. Once we have more, we will let you guys know and it's just a way to show our appreciation for you guys.
Speaker 1:
1:18:38 And, and it's just a way to show our appreciation for you guys.
Speaker 2:
1:18:42 And speaking of apparel, I was just going to say Joey, since we're throwing the plugs, fucking ironmaniscom fitness brand.
Speaker 1:
1:18:49 Check it out, it's my brand. I just did fashion shows, fucking, killing it and fucking. If you guys are local, you need DJs, bartenders, bartenders, models, videographers. We throw yacht parties, menace and mayhem entertainment hit us up me myself, my partner glenn, his beautiful wife sheree. We have big team. We're killing it.
Speaker 2:
1:19:10 We doing big things and follow joey and iron menace on social media as well.
Speaker 3:
1:19:15 Oh yeah, man his's going to be in the description below. All his shit he throws fucking wicked parties. I was at the white party last year it was fucking awesome, and the year before that he just throws wicked parties, man.
Speaker 1:
1:19:29 Yeah, and it's funny is I don't really party, I'm a dad, I just throw events just because it's fucking fun. And hey, we had a great time, man, we had a great time, oh wait, till this year.
Speaker 3:
1:19:41 But we got a neon one coming up that I'm gonna be going to definitely.
Speaker 1:
1:19:44 Oh yeah, I got a glow party, yacht party I got a mother's day. We got a fucking 90s.
Speaker 3:
1:19:49 You got to dress in the 90s fashion party fucking, you name it, we doing it, we doing it oh, on that note, joey, thank you, man, your brother, I mean, we talk all the time but at the end of the day, love you, man. And this place, this podcast, wouldn't be where it is today without without yeah, you know what I'm trying to say Without you, are you choking up a little bit? Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:
1:20:25 I get a little teary, but what can I say? No, that was a great episode, man. We appreciate you coming back and being vulnerable as always, as you've always been, but it is nice to hear, it's nice to hear that you you've done the stuff that you wanted to do and being an example of what raw mind stands for.
Speaker 2:
1:20:35 So thank you for coming back on, thank you for sharing someone has to do it we're yeah, and honestly, man like I'm super fucking proud of you for doing what you're doing. You're fucking killing it bro, thank you.
Speaker 1:
1:20:47 and you guys, you guys are killing it. The number one always supporter right here and I would love to come back with you boys and, uh, do again. Yeah, next time we'll do a 15 hour one, yeah.
Speaker 3:
1:21:00 We'll plan in advance.
Speaker 1:
1:21:01 We're doing a weekend marathon.
Speaker 3:
1:21:03 Yeah, slumber party at my house for a while.
Speaker 1:
1:21:07 But again, thank you. Nothing but love, million support over here. And if you guys are just tuning in now, man, you guys better subscribe Raw minds, baby.
Speaker 3:
1:21:19 And I just want to say Thank you for overcoming man. You're killing it in our chat, man. We see you, we appreciate you, brother. Much love to you, man. We just want to give you a little shout out there Hell yeah, alright, man. Well, that's it, that's all I guess. Free, fuck yeah.
