WEBVTT
1
00:00:13.390 --> 00:00:17.550
Hey there, welcome to Wednesday and to Radio Headspace. It's,
2
00:00:17.829 --> 00:00:23.190
you guessed it, Dora. In yesterday's episode, I shared about
3
00:00:23.230 --> 00:00:26.929
being in a season of loneliness. And today, I wanted
4
00:00:26.969 --> 00:00:31.280
to explore what it means to be alone. Now, feeling
5
00:00:31.379 --> 00:00:36.140
lonely and being alone are two different experiences. I think
6
00:00:36.179 --> 00:00:38.840
we've all had that urge or desire when we just
7
00:00:38.880 --> 00:00:42.750
need time to be with ourselves. It feels much different
8
00:00:42.789 --> 00:00:46.369
than when we experience loneliness and that overwhelming feeling of
9
00:00:46.509 --> 00:00:53.310
isolation and disconnection. Loneliness creates this illusion of separation, whereas
10
00:00:53.429 --> 00:00:57.409
aloneness reminds us we're always connected and we have the
11
00:00:57.469 --> 00:01:02.420
choice to disconnect once in a while. to recharge. From
12
00:01:02.439 --> 00:01:05.359
what I've learned, being alone can be a time of
13
00:01:05.400 --> 00:01:09.819
great insight, a time of deep reflection and even inspiration.
14
00:01:11.159 --> 00:01:14.439
On my quest to understand what fruits aloneness can bear,
15
00:01:15.060 --> 00:01:18.260
I came across a book by author and priest Henry Nouwen.
16
00:01:19.040 --> 00:01:21.900
His book, Out of Solitude, speaks about the meaning we
17
00:01:21.939 --> 00:01:25.780
can find in being alone and how an intentional lonely
18
00:01:25.859 --> 00:01:30.620
place can be a birthplace of intimacy with ourselves. And
19
00:01:30.659 --> 00:01:33.359
this had me thinking about what solitude can teach us.
20
00:01:34.390 --> 00:01:36.790
It can teach us how to care, how to be
21
00:01:36.810 --> 00:01:40.549
in community, and most importantly, how to be who we are.
22
00:01:42.750 --> 00:01:45.409
Case in point, the other day I was walking to
23
00:01:45.450 --> 00:01:48.140
go get a coffee. As I was stopped at the
24
00:01:48.189 --> 00:01:51.599
intersection waiting to cross the street, a woman in a
25
00:01:51.680 --> 00:01:55.540
bright pink shirt started talking to me. First, she was
26
00:01:55.579 --> 00:01:58.140
talking about her coffee order and how she always gets
27
00:01:58.200 --> 00:02:01.750
the same thing, And then she started talking about learning
28
00:02:01.829 --> 00:02:06.370
to love being alone. Her favorite solo pastime was taking
29
00:02:06.409 --> 00:02:09.330
herself to the beach to read, eat fruit, and journal.
30
00:02:10.550 --> 00:02:13.610
From doing this alone, she's found that she's starting to
31
00:02:13.669 --> 00:02:18.069
love herself and enjoy her presence so much more. The
32
00:02:18.120 --> 00:02:20.400
woman on the street that day watered the seed that
33
00:02:20.439 --> 00:02:22.680
was in me to start venturing out on my own.
34
00:02:24.120 --> 00:02:26.879
For instance, a few weeks ago, I got back from
35
00:02:26.919 --> 00:02:30.629
my first solo adventure to Mallorca, Spain. And these solo
36
00:02:30.669 --> 00:02:33.150
trips are something that I want to continue to cultivate
37
00:02:33.289 --> 00:02:38.330
as long as I can. So if you're wanting to
38
00:02:38.370 --> 00:02:40.969
spend more time alone and don't know where to start
39
00:02:41.169 --> 00:02:43.569
or how to do it, here are a few things
40
00:02:43.689 --> 00:02:47.870
I've learned along the way. Number one, this may sound harsh,
41
00:02:47.969 --> 00:02:52.449
but nobody cares that you're doing things by yourself. My
42
00:02:52.569 --> 00:02:54.949
biggest fear when I decided to go for a solo
43
00:02:54.990 --> 00:02:57.650
movie date was that people would be looking at me
44
00:02:57.750 --> 00:03:00.550
and judging me And that could not be further from
45
00:03:00.590 --> 00:03:03.650
the truth. In fact, there were people at the movie
46
00:03:03.689 --> 00:03:08.060
theater who were alone, just like me. So notice any
47
00:03:08.129 --> 00:03:10.819
judgments that you may have that could be creating even
48
00:03:10.939 --> 00:03:16.419
more fear around the idea of being alone. Number two,
49
00:03:17.099 --> 00:03:20.560
set an intention. Why are you wanting to be alone?
50
00:03:21.539 --> 00:03:25.909
What are you hoping to experience? For me, my desire
51
00:03:25.969 --> 00:03:29.009
to be alone came from the need to experience more
52
00:03:29.050 --> 00:03:32.110
of myself. We live in a world that can create
53
00:03:32.129 --> 00:03:36.030
a false sense of connection, especially if you use social media.
54
00:03:37.300 --> 00:03:42.520
We're inundated with information, stories, news, pictures, and videos, and
55
00:03:42.719 --> 00:03:45.860
it can be really hard to hear ourselves, especially after
56
00:03:45.900 --> 00:03:49.530
being online. So set that intention of what you would
57
00:03:49.550 --> 00:03:52.789
like to experience by being alone and allow it to
58
00:03:52.849 --> 00:03:58.289
guide you. And finally, number three, start with small things.
59
00:03:59.710 --> 00:04:02.379
Maybe it's as small as going for a walk or
60
00:04:02.479 --> 00:04:07.139
getting lunch by yourself. Doing smaller everyday things can help
61
00:04:07.159 --> 00:04:09.319
you warm up to the idea of going to a
62
00:04:09.379 --> 00:04:14.150
movie or even doing solo traveling. When we make time
63
00:04:14.210 --> 00:04:17.850
for introspection and rest away from other people, we can
64
00:04:17.930 --> 00:04:22.509
think without interruptions and have space to contemplate and find beauty,
65
00:04:23.389 --> 00:04:26.639
not just in the world, but in our relationships waiting
66
00:04:26.680 --> 00:04:29.759
to be cultivated when we rejoin the people in our lives.
67
00:04:31.699 --> 00:04:33.759
And just so you know, in the Headspace app, there's
68
00:04:33.779 --> 00:04:37.519
a meditation called Alone Time that can set the stage
69
00:04:37.579 --> 00:04:42.269
for rest and recovery after a long day. Also, I'm
70
00:04:42.370 --> 00:04:45.870
so open to hearing about your own alone adventures. So
71
00:04:45.970 --> 00:04:48.850
find me over on Instagram at Dora Kamau if you'd
72
00:04:48.870 --> 00:04:51.230
like to share your story or ask me any more
73
00:04:51.290 --> 00:04:56.620
questions about my own journey. Take care, be well, and
74
00:04:56.639 --> 00:04:57.870
I'll see you back here soon.
1
00:00:13.390 --> 00:00:17.550
Hey there, welcome to Wednesday and to Radio Headspace. It's,
2
00:00:17.829 --> 00:00:23.190
you guessed it, Dora. In yesterday's episode, I shared about
3
00:00:23.230 --> 00:00:26.929
being in a season of loneliness. And today, I wanted
4
00:00:26.969 --> 00:00:31.280
to explore what it means to be alone. Now, feeling
5
00:00:31.379 --> 00:00:36.140
lonely and being alone are two different experiences. I think
6
00:00:36.179 --> 00:00:38.840
we've all had that urge or desire when we just
7
00:00:38.880 --> 00:00:42.750
need time to be with ourselves. It feels much different
8
00:00:42.789 --> 00:00:46.369
than when we experience loneliness and that overwhelming feeling of
9
00:00:46.509 --> 00:00:53.310
isolation and disconnection. Loneliness creates this illusion of separation, whereas
10
00:00:53.429 --> 00:00:57.409
aloneness reminds us we're always connected and we have the
11
00:00:57.469 --> 00:01:02.420
choice to disconnect once in a while. to recharge. From
12
00:01:02.439 --> 00:01:05.359
what I've learned, being alone can be a time of
13
00:01:05.400 --> 00:01:09.819
great insight, a time of deep reflection and even inspiration.
14
00:01:11.159 --> 00:01:14.439
On my quest to understand what fruits aloneness can bear,
15
00:01:15.060 --> 00:01:18.260
I came across a book by author and priest Henry Nouwen.
16
00:01:19.040 --> 00:01:21.900
His book, Out of Solitude, speaks about the meaning we
17
00:01:21.939 --> 00:01:25.780
can find in being alone and how an intentional lonely
18
00:01:25.859 --> 00:01:30.620
place can be a birthplace of intimacy with ourselves. And
19
00:01:30.659 --> 00:01:33.359
this had me thinking about what solitude can teach us.
20
00:01:34.390 --> 00:01:36.790
It can teach us how to care, how to be
21
00:01:36.810 --> 00:01:40.549
in community, and most importantly, how to be who we are.
22
00:01:42.750 --> 00:01:45.409
Case in point, the other day I was walking to
23
00:01:45.450 --> 00:01:48.140
go get a coffee. As I was stopped at the
24
00:01:48.189 --> 00:01:51.599
intersection waiting to cross the street, a woman in a
25
00:01:51.680 --> 00:01:55.540
bright pink shirt started talking to me. First, she was
26
00:01:55.579 --> 00:01:58.140
talking about her coffee order and how she always gets
27
00:01:58.200 --> 00:02:01.750
the same thing, And then she started talking about learning
28
00:02:01.829 --> 00:02:06.370
to love being alone. Her favorite solo pastime was taking
29
00:02:06.409 --> 00:02:09.330
herself to the beach to read, eat fruit, and journal.
30
00:02:10.550 --> 00:02:13.610
From doing this alone, she's found that she's starting to
31
00:02:13.669 --> 00:02:18.069
love herself and enjoy her presence so much more. The
32
00:02:18.120 --> 00:02:20.400
woman on the street that day watered the seed that
33
00:02:20.439 --> 00:02:22.680
was in me to start venturing out on my own.
34
00:02:24.120 --> 00:02:26.879
For instance, a few weeks ago, I got back from
35
00:02:26.919 --> 00:02:30.629
my first solo adventure to Mallorca, Spain. And these solo
36
00:02:30.669 --> 00:02:33.150
trips are something that I want to continue to cultivate
37
00:02:33.289 --> 00:02:38.330
as long as I can. So if you're wanting to
38
00:02:38.370 --> 00:02:40.969
spend more time alone and don't know where to start
39
00:02:41.169 --> 00:02:43.569
or how to do it, here are a few things
40
00:02:43.689 --> 00:02:47.870
I've learned along the way. Number one, this may sound harsh,
41
00:02:47.969 --> 00:02:52.449
but nobody cares that you're doing things by yourself. My
42
00:02:52.569 --> 00:02:54.949
biggest fear when I decided to go for a solo
43
00:02:54.990 --> 00:02:57.650
movie date was that people would be looking at me
44
00:02:57.750 --> 00:03:00.550
and judging me And that could not be further from
45
00:03:00.590 --> 00:03:03.650
the truth. In fact, there were people at the movie
46
00:03:03.689 --> 00:03:08.060
theater who were alone, just like me. So notice any
47
00:03:08.129 --> 00:03:10.819
judgments that you may have that could be creating even
48
00:03:10.939 --> 00:03:16.419
more fear around the idea of being alone. Number two,
49
00:03:17.099 --> 00:03:20.560
set an intention. Why are you wanting to be alone?
50
00:03:21.539 --> 00:03:25.909
What are you hoping to experience? For me, my desire
51
00:03:25.969 --> 00:03:29.009
to be alone came from the need to experience more
52
00:03:29.050 --> 00:03:32.110
of myself. We live in a world that can create
53
00:03:32.129 --> 00:03:36.030
a false sense of connection, especially if you use social media.
54
00:03:37.300 --> 00:03:42.520
We're inundated with information, stories, news, pictures, and videos, and
55
00:03:42.719 --> 00:03:45.860
it can be really hard to hear ourselves, especially after
56
00:03:45.900 --> 00:03:49.530
being online. So set that intention of what you would
57
00:03:49.550 --> 00:03:52.789
like to experience by being alone and allow it to
58
00:03:52.849 --> 00:03:58.289
guide you. And finally, number three, start with small things.
59
00:03:59.710 --> 00:04:02.379
Maybe it's as small as going for a walk or
60
00:04:02.479 --> 00:04:07.139
getting lunch by yourself. Doing smaller everyday things can help
61
00:04:07.159 --> 00:04:09.319
you warm up to the idea of going to a
62
00:04:09.379 --> 00:04:14.150
movie or even doing solo traveling. When we make time
63
00:04:14.210 --> 00:04:17.850
for introspection and rest away from other people, we can
64
00:04:17.930 --> 00:04:22.509
think without interruptions and have space to contemplate and find beauty,
65
00:04:23.389 --> 00:04:26.639
not just in the world, but in our relationships waiting
66
00:04:26.680 --> 00:04:29.759
to be cultivated when we rejoin the people in our lives.
67
00:04:31.699 --> 00:04:33.759
And just so you know, in the Headspace app, there's
68
00:04:33.779 --> 00:04:37.519
a meditation called Alone Time that can set the stage
69
00:04:37.579 --> 00:04:42.269
for rest and recovery after a long day. Also, I'm
70
00:04:42.370 --> 00:04:45.870
so open to hearing about your own alone adventures. So
71
00:04:45.970 --> 00:04:48.850
find me over on Instagram at Dora Kamau if you'd
72
00:04:48.870 --> 00:04:51.230
like to share your story or ask me any more
73
00:04:51.290 --> 00:04:56.620
questions about my own journey. Take care, be well, and
74
00:04:56.639 --> 00:04:57.870
I'll see you back here soon.
