Staying Soft Without Falling Apart with Jonathan Gregg — Death in Three Steps

WEBVTT
1
00:00:08.720 --> 00:00:11.599
Radical joy. The weekly practice of fighting for your light
2
00:00:12.119 --> 00:00:14.599
in a world tuned to worries is our space to
3
00:00:14.599 --> 00:00:18.839
find a different signal, to discover the grounded, defiant, and yes,
4
00:00:19.199 --> 00:00:23.000
radical power of choosing joy, A vital reminder you are
5
00:00:23.120 --> 00:00:26.199
never alone. On nine eight eight for the Mental Health
6
00:00:26.199 --> 00:00:31.079
on Suicide Crisis Hotline. It's a lifeline anytime, friends, this
7
00:00:31.199 --> 00:00:37.039
is season four. Let's go. What if the bravest thing
8
00:00:37.039 --> 00:00:39.399
we could do right now is slow down before our
9
00:00:39.439 --> 00:00:44.079
thoughts decide everything is already on fire. We are staying
10
00:00:44.159 --> 00:00:48.039
soft without falling apart With Jonathan Gregg, Death in three
11
00:00:48.079 --> 00:00:52.119
steps and trying to slow it down, a conversation that
12
00:00:52.240 --> 00:00:57.000
wanders on purpose through parenting, anger, softness, and the quiet
13
00:00:57.039 --> 00:01:01.079
work of catching yourself before you spiral. A few laughs,
14
00:01:01.600 --> 00:01:06.760
a few realizations. You can feel your shoulders drop. Our
15
00:01:06.920 --> 00:01:10.280
guest returning guest Jonathan lives in New York with his
16
00:01:10.319 --> 00:01:13.359
wife and two children. When he is not dabbing, he
17
00:01:13.400 --> 00:01:15.840
spends his days working as the director of operations for
18
00:01:15.879 --> 00:01:18.400
a spirit portfolio, which is a fancy way of saying
19
00:01:18.400 --> 00:01:20.799
he oversees booze getting put into bottles and sent to stores,
20
00:01:21.760 --> 00:01:24.000
and he spends his free time doing stand up comedy,
21
00:01:24.000 --> 00:01:27.120
and making content for social media. His content centers around
22
00:01:27.200 --> 00:01:30.359
punching nazis, perfecting the Dutch braid, and offering tips for
23
00:01:30.400 --> 00:01:33.680
painting your nails. After all, you can't spell manicure without
24
00:01:34.000 --> 00:01:38.719
man Follow him on insta at Jay Greg Underscore Jonathan,
25
00:01:38.760 --> 00:01:41.400
and be sure to tune into his brand new podcast,
26
00:01:41.959 --> 00:01:45.439
bro Homo with his best friend Tom, sharing humor and
27
00:01:45.519 --> 00:01:50.159
insights on their own broadcast, One Straight, One's Gay. Together,
28
00:01:50.280 --> 00:01:54.920
They're trying to redefine masculinity. Welcome back to Radical Joy,
29
00:01:55.200 --> 00:01:56.079
Jonathan Greg.
30
00:01:57.200 --> 00:01:59.319
Thanks so much, ma'am. I wish I wish every time
31
00:01:59.319 --> 00:02:02.480
I walked into any room ever, that's how I was introduced.
32
00:02:02.560 --> 00:02:04.879
That's beautiful, Thank you.
33
00:02:05.359 --> 00:02:07.000
I honestly don't think it would take much.
34
00:02:07.040 --> 00:02:10.120
I think if you just love to play suggestions here, there,
35
00:02:10.120 --> 00:02:14.560
and everywhere, that would be easily handled. And somebody comes
36
00:02:14.599 --> 00:02:17.400
into contact with me that knows Jay Greg, they're like, hey,
37
00:02:17.479 --> 00:02:19.919
so I saw you guys had a Yes, we did,
38
00:02:19.960 --> 00:02:20.879
and it was a whole.
39
00:02:20.719 --> 00:02:26.039
Lot of fun. I love that ide and it just
40
00:02:26.120 --> 00:02:29.560
keeps cascading from there, and it's just wonderful. You are
41
00:02:30.280 --> 00:02:32.960
never far from my feeds. You're always popping up with
42
00:02:33.039 --> 00:02:37.439
something absolutely delicious, whether it's child earing philosophy, or it
43
00:02:37.479 --> 00:02:40.759
is ideas and notions on the way the world is
44
00:02:40.800 --> 00:02:43.680
working right now, or just honestly just hanging out with
45
00:02:43.680 --> 00:02:46.120
your best friend Tom and talking about really fun stuff
46
00:02:46.120 --> 00:02:48.800
as two dudes in front of microphones, which is very
47
00:02:48.879 --> 00:02:50.599
similar to what we got going today.
48
00:02:53.599 --> 00:02:56.360
Yeah. We you know, we bet your stide a little bit.
49
00:02:56.400 --> 00:02:58.319
We were inspired by what you're doing over here, so
50
00:02:58.400 --> 00:03:00.800
we figured we'd want to have some fun with it. Yeah,
51
00:03:00.840 --> 00:03:03.000
that was kind of the whole point of our podcast anyway.
52
00:03:03.000 --> 00:03:04.560
It's it is very similar to what you're doing here.
53
00:03:04.599 --> 00:03:07.319
It's just taking the things that we love. And you know,
54
00:03:07.400 --> 00:03:09.840
the world is kind of a tricky place right now,
55
00:03:09.840 --> 00:03:11.759
and it can be it can be sad and scary,
56
00:03:11.759 --> 00:03:13.240
and it can be kind of dark out there. And
57
00:03:13.280 --> 00:03:16.479
so we you know, really and you know, a little
58
00:03:16.479 --> 00:03:18.759
tongue and cheek, but also very seriously inspired by what
59
00:03:18.800 --> 00:03:20.280
you do here and just want to get some some
60
00:03:20.400 --> 00:03:23.840
fun out there, some some you know, just some some joy.
61
00:03:23.960 --> 00:03:26.560
We Tom and I go back and forth all the
62
00:03:26.560 --> 00:03:28.840
time over what the content should be, you know, because
63
00:03:28.879 --> 00:03:30.879
neither of us are experts in anything, and if you
64
00:03:30.919 --> 00:03:33.240
ever pay attention to like you're saying to my social
65
00:03:33.240 --> 00:03:35.319
media feed, you'll see that I don't even claim to
66
00:03:35.319 --> 00:03:36.840
be an expert in anything. I like to try things,
67
00:03:36.879 --> 00:03:38.719
and I like to, you know, give my opinions, but
68
00:03:38.759 --> 00:03:41.240
I don't. I don't know too much about anything. I
69
00:03:41.240 --> 00:03:43.639
know a little bit about plenty of things, and so really,
70
00:03:43.759 --> 00:03:47.360
all we want to do is show a version of friendship,
71
00:03:47.400 --> 00:03:50.479
a version of masculinity, a version of adulting that is
72
00:03:51.120 --> 00:03:53.840
maybe a little more vulnerable, maybe a little more chilled out,
73
00:03:54.120 --> 00:03:57.080
not so worried about, you know, being scared of other
74
00:03:57.120 --> 00:03:59.319
people that are trying to impress or intimidate anyone, and
75
00:03:59.400 --> 00:04:01.319
just you know, trying to have a good time in
76
00:04:01.439 --> 00:04:03.960
this crazy place these days.
77
00:04:04.560 --> 00:04:07.759
Hey man, buddy, I cannot get enough of exactly that
78
00:04:07.879 --> 00:04:09.599
kind of thing. It feels like every time you turn
79
00:04:09.680 --> 00:04:12.439
on anything, any screen, any gnomity button, it's just like
80
00:04:12.439 --> 00:04:14.840
people are hollering at one another. I was like, yeah, yeah,
81
00:04:15.039 --> 00:04:16.759
I get it. I mean, trust me, I'm not trying
82
00:04:16.759 --> 00:04:18.720
to downplay it. There's a lot going out there that's
83
00:04:18.839 --> 00:04:21.279
very upsetting. People are taking sides, and I get it.
84
00:04:21.319 --> 00:04:23.199
They're trying to do the right thing for what they believe,
85
00:04:23.839 --> 00:04:26.720
and there are folks out here like, hey, you know what,
86
00:04:26.920 --> 00:04:29.040
you've got to breathe as well. You've got to leave
87
00:04:29.040 --> 00:04:31.920
a little room for happy and enjoy, especially now during
88
00:04:31.959 --> 00:04:36.040
the holidays. We're closing up a big year, like there
89
00:04:36.120 --> 00:04:38.279
was a lot of stuff on our plate literally from
90
00:04:38.279 --> 00:04:41.680
start to finish, and knowing that we in our own
91
00:04:41.800 --> 00:04:44.040
mind's eyes get a chance to sort of like hit
92
00:04:44.079 --> 00:04:46.839
the reset button in just a few days, it's a
93
00:04:46.959 --> 00:04:49.720
big sigh of relief for me. And I just love
94
00:04:49.800 --> 00:04:52.160
that people who are trying to do something similar and
95
00:04:52.199 --> 00:04:54.959
are doing a fantastic job. If I might add that
96
00:04:55.079 --> 00:04:57.120
we all get to kind of get together like, yeah,
97
00:04:57.240 --> 00:05:00.120
that's it, because yes it's serious, Yes it's for real.
98
00:05:00.279 --> 00:05:02.759
And there's another side to all of this that we
99
00:05:02.920 --> 00:05:05.720
got to remember that we are people. We got to
100
00:05:05.800 --> 00:05:07.759
connect and we've got to make sure that folks know
101
00:05:07.839 --> 00:05:11.839
that even though we look so differently outside, underneath, it's
102
00:05:11.920 --> 00:05:13.560
so very alike.
103
00:05:14.160 --> 00:05:17.800
Yeah, yeah, for sure. And also just even the the
104
00:05:18.120 --> 00:05:20.600
even when things are going well, I find for myself,
105
00:05:21.680 --> 00:05:23.800
you know, from when we come from similar places. We
106
00:05:23.839 --> 00:05:26.319
grew up in the South, where there's a very much
107
00:05:26.319 --> 00:05:30.000
a head down, work hard mentality and I still live
108
00:05:30.000 --> 00:05:32.439
by that mentality, and you know, it's it's deep in me.
109
00:05:32.560 --> 00:05:36.399
But I realize sometimes I can I don't. I hate
110
00:05:36.439 --> 00:05:39.560
complacency and I hate you know, pride coming before a fall.
111
00:05:39.920 --> 00:05:42.519
But there's a chance to say I do and I
112
00:05:42.600 --> 00:05:44.800
enjoy what I'm doing. I don't need to sit in
113
00:05:44.839 --> 00:05:46.639
it and stop. I don't have to stop moving. But
114
00:05:46.680 --> 00:05:49.160
I can take a moment and say, hey, this feels good.
115
00:05:49.240 --> 00:05:50.360
I like that. I get to hang out with my
116
00:05:50.360 --> 00:05:51.839
friends and I like to get to talk. I like to
117
00:05:52.160 --> 00:05:55.040
And it doesn't all have to be professional. It doesn't
118
00:05:55.079 --> 00:05:57.399
all have to be driving forward to some kind of
119
00:05:57.639 --> 00:05:59.519
huge goal. You know. It can just be like, this
120
00:05:59.720 --> 00:06:03.480
is nice, and it's okay to just feel nice. Sometimes
121
00:06:03.680 --> 00:06:06.680
there's a real temptation that I face to just the
122
00:06:06.720 --> 00:06:08.800
anxiety kind of stays all the time. It's like, all right,
123
00:06:08.800 --> 00:06:11.120
but what's next, But don't get don't get too if
124
00:06:11.120 --> 00:06:13.800
you're if you're too confident in this, you're gonna be cocky.
125
00:06:13.839 --> 00:06:16.120
And if you're too cocky about it, you're gonna be complacent.
126
00:06:16.360 --> 00:06:18.800
And complacency is gonna lead to death, you know. So
127
00:06:18.839 --> 00:06:21.879
it's just like that snowballs in just two steps. It
128
00:06:21.920 --> 00:06:25.439
really gets there pretty quick. So sometimes just taking a
129
00:06:25.480 --> 00:06:29.000
breath and maybe death isn't the third step. Maybe we're okay, maybe.
130
00:06:32.439 --> 00:06:36.560
Yes. And I love the steps in that it escalated quickly.
131
00:06:36.639 --> 00:06:40.000
But you know what, welcome, welcome to my brain. You know,
132
00:06:40.079 --> 00:06:41.920
I have to like make a conscious choice to say,
133
00:06:42.560 --> 00:06:44.240
we don't have to get to death in three steps.
134
00:06:44.240 --> 00:06:44.560
We can.
135
00:06:46.759 --> 00:06:54.439
Autography how to get to death. It's good to talk
136
00:06:54.560 --> 00:06:56.399
like that because whenever we talk about it, we can
137
00:06:56.480 --> 00:06:59.480
laugh after it. For some people that's reality, you know,
138
00:07:00.399 --> 00:07:03.199
those things, and it's nothing more. Sometimes not to discount,
139
00:07:03.240 --> 00:07:05.120
but sometimes it's just a lack of imagination or a
140
00:07:05.199 --> 00:07:07.560
lack of faith and the fact that if you're hustling
141
00:07:07.680 --> 00:07:09.800
that hard, especially if you've got folks depending on you,
142
00:07:09.879 --> 00:07:12.800
like I know you do with your beautiful family, chances
143
00:07:12.800 --> 00:07:15.519
are really good that there are forces at play that
144
00:07:15.600 --> 00:07:17.800
are going to keep you from getting to step three.
145
00:07:18.720 --> 00:07:21.800
Way before you get to step three, there's going to
146
00:07:21.879 --> 00:07:24.439
be like yeah, through A through Z and maybe double
147
00:07:24.480 --> 00:07:24.920
A through.
148
00:07:27.480 --> 00:07:28.480
Absolutely yeah.
149
00:07:28.560 --> 00:07:30.639
But good to think about it. You know, contingency is
150
00:07:30.680 --> 00:07:33.079
always a plus, and making sure preparation and plans are
151
00:07:33.079 --> 00:07:34.480
in place super.
152
00:07:34.920 --> 00:07:38.000
And uh, it's also just I've spent a lot of
153
00:07:38.000 --> 00:07:40.000
twenty five and this has been a phrase that I
154
00:07:40.079 --> 00:07:42.560
thought about a lot through my life, and it comes
155
00:07:42.560 --> 00:07:45.480
from that work hard mentality of growing up. But what
156
00:07:45.519 --> 00:07:47.839
I keep thinking about is, and you know it's a
157
00:07:47.920 --> 00:07:49.240
kind of a trope and kind of a cliche, but
158
00:07:49.279 --> 00:07:51.240
you got to love the digging more than the diamonds.
159
00:07:51.279 --> 00:07:53.000
And I've literally spent a lot of time because I've
160
00:07:53.040 --> 00:07:56.480
realized in my life, you know, I'm pursuing theater or
161
00:07:56.519 --> 00:07:58.680
whatever different things I tried to pursue my life. There
162
00:07:58.720 --> 00:08:00.759
there's kind of like this goal, even if it's just
163
00:08:01.360 --> 00:08:04.560
you know, financial security, there's a kind of this goal
164
00:08:04.959 --> 00:08:07.199
and then nothing feels good until you get to that goal.
165
00:08:07.319 --> 00:08:08.759
And yeah, at some point, I don't know if it
166
00:08:08.839 --> 00:08:10.639
was just age or getting too tired to live that
167
00:08:10.680 --> 00:08:14.160
way anymore, but like at some point I finally just said, like, well,
168
00:08:14.279 --> 00:08:16.519
I also like the stuff that I'm doing. I like
169
00:08:16.560 --> 00:08:18.639
the process of it, and I got all I have
170
00:08:18.680 --> 00:08:20.759
to do now is like stop and remember that I
171
00:08:20.839 --> 00:08:23.920
like this process, that I'm enjoying the doing of it
172
00:08:23.959 --> 00:08:28.560
instead of just being feeling a lack of fulfillment until
173
00:08:28.600 --> 00:08:30.759
I get to that goal. I can recognize, like this
174
00:08:30.800 --> 00:08:33.159
is fulfilling. What I'm doing is I like it. It
175
00:08:33.240 --> 00:08:35.440
might not always be fun, you know, capital f fun,
176
00:08:35.480 --> 00:08:38.159
but it is like fulfilling. And it's a life that
177
00:08:38.240 --> 00:08:40.799
I've built and most of the pieces of my life
178
00:08:40.840 --> 00:08:44.679
have been intentionally built for, you know, for the way
179
00:08:44.679 --> 00:08:45.799
that I want to do it. And so if I
180
00:08:45.799 --> 00:08:48.159
look at the moments and go, this is this is cool?
181
00:08:48.200 --> 00:08:50.360
I like this. There's there's stress, you know, kids are
182
00:08:50.360 --> 00:08:51.759
My kids are just all little, and there's a lot
183
00:08:51.759 --> 00:08:54.840
of you know, they're getting bigger, which means they're getting
184
00:08:54.840 --> 00:08:58.159
more opinions and more they're a larger vocabulary, which is
185
00:08:58.240 --> 00:09:02.039
always fun. But it's it's still the step by step
186
00:09:02.080 --> 00:09:04.480
of it is enjoyable. And that's like a thing that
187
00:09:04.519 --> 00:09:07.320
I this time of year. I agree with you coming
188
00:09:07.320 --> 00:09:08.799
to the end of the year, and I know it
189
00:09:09.000 --> 00:09:10.919
can be kind of like a silly thing to think
190
00:09:10.960 --> 00:09:13.360
about the you know, the resolutions and there's no real
191
00:09:13.440 --> 00:09:15.720
reason to start at any point, but I say why not,
192
00:09:15.919 --> 00:09:17.600
I say, look at it. If it the you know,
193
00:09:17.639 --> 00:09:19.639
the year starts over, you can make whatever changes and
194
00:09:20.159 --> 00:09:22.120
use that as any kind of jumping off point, you know,
195
00:09:22.279 --> 00:09:25.080
just just to have a mile marker to use and
196
00:09:25.159 --> 00:09:27.240
to pay attention to the moments in your life. That's
197
00:09:27.240 --> 00:09:29.000
what I, at least, you know, what I try to do.
198
00:09:29.120 --> 00:09:31.639
Otherwise it's we're in New York and it's cold and
199
00:09:31.679 --> 00:09:34.840
miserable here, and we you know, like trying to do
200
00:09:35.279 --> 00:09:38.639
trying so much to embody the hugah of it. I
201
00:09:38.679 --> 00:09:40.120
feel like you guys do with that some over there,
202
00:09:40.200 --> 00:09:46.759
right yeah, man, yep, Just find some comfort, find some coziness,
203
00:09:46.799 --> 00:09:49.000
you know, and enjoy the time and feel good about
204
00:09:49.039 --> 00:09:52.360
what we've been able to accomplish and build and where
205
00:09:52.360 --> 00:09:54.840
we are, even if there's a crazy storm outside, if
206
00:09:54.840 --> 00:09:58.279
it's the weather, or if it's the social weather, political weather, whatever, like,
207
00:09:58.639 --> 00:10:00.000
can be cozy and comfortable right here.
208
00:10:00.840 --> 00:10:03.639
Amen, absolutely, And I love that so much of it
209
00:10:03.639 --> 00:10:05.440
just spoil it down to perspective, and I know I've
210
00:10:05.440 --> 00:10:07.120
come from a place where it's just like you know, yeah,
211
00:10:07.159 --> 00:10:10.080
because things are going really really well in certain aspects,
212
00:10:10.080 --> 00:10:11.720
other parts of my life, you know, kind of crumbling
213
00:10:11.720 --> 00:10:13.559
and in the dark spot, you know, that place that
214
00:10:13.559 --> 00:10:15.480
the light doesn't touch. We're talking about some lion king
215
00:10:15.519 --> 00:10:18.679
references there. We don't mention that right now. It's at
216
00:10:18.720 --> 00:10:20.519
the end of the year stockings are hung by the
217
00:10:20.600 --> 00:10:22.440
chimney with care. And what I want to do is
218
00:10:22.480 --> 00:10:26.039
just focus on that part of it. You bring up
219
00:10:26.039 --> 00:10:28.399
such a fantastic topic. Yeah, there's a lot of stuff
220
00:10:28.399 --> 00:10:30.919
that I could be concerned about, and I am. I'm
221
00:10:30.919 --> 00:10:33.159
going to let that run in the back where right now,
222
00:10:33.200 --> 00:10:35.960
everything in the foreground needs to be something special, especially
223
00:10:36.000 --> 00:10:38.200
for the young people watching, because there are little eyeballs
224
00:10:38.240 --> 00:10:41.440
looking at us, making sure that we are keeping that
225
00:10:41.480 --> 00:10:45.919
magic alive. We're not denying these other things are happening.
226
00:10:46.039 --> 00:10:49.039
We can do both. Two things can absolutely be true
227
00:10:49.080 --> 00:10:52.960
that seem diametrically opposed. At the same time. We're like great,
228
00:10:53.039 --> 00:10:55.799
because right now the priority is these lieballs and this
229
00:10:55.960 --> 00:10:57.720
magic and this memory that's going to be a core
230
00:10:57.759 --> 00:11:00.559
for them growing up and forever later on, you know,
231
00:11:00.600 --> 00:11:03.000
the world's going to bring him into the reality. Right now,
232
00:11:03.600 --> 00:11:06.879
we get to be instrumental in making sure that those
233
00:11:06.879 --> 00:11:09.679
memories and all of this has this gorgeous Sepia tonally
234
00:11:09.720 --> 00:11:12.879
look back to it for cookies and crackling fires and
235
00:11:13.360 --> 00:11:16.879
blankets and stories and hot chocolate with teeny tiny marshmallows.
236
00:11:17.000 --> 00:11:21.159
Yeah, yeah, absolutely, that's something that you know, my wife
237
00:11:21.200 --> 00:11:22.840
and I talk a lot about too, with the with
238
00:11:22.960 --> 00:11:25.840
two little kids there right now. They're almost five. H
239
00:11:25.960 --> 00:11:28.440
Sydney turns five next month, and my son is six
240
00:11:28.480 --> 00:11:30.399
and a half. So I don't know how much you
241
00:11:30.399 --> 00:11:32.200
deal with a small children over there, but he's six
242
00:11:32.320 --> 00:11:35.720
seven and six seven, all right now, that's driving me crazy.
243
00:11:35.720 --> 00:11:39.759
It's driving me crazy. It's but we're focusing on the
244
00:11:39.799 --> 00:11:41.840
joyful things, not the six seven of it all. But
245
00:11:41.960 --> 00:11:44.720
they you know, we have a we have a row
246
00:11:44.759 --> 00:11:47.840
house in uh in Queens, New York. It's small, and
247
00:11:48.120 --> 00:11:50.200
we my wife and I try as much as we
248
00:11:50.240 --> 00:11:52.320
can to be intentional about like, all right, we have
249
00:11:52.360 --> 00:11:54.519
a small house. That's the reality of this. What can
250
00:11:54.559 --> 00:11:56.240
we do to make this place feel fun? What can
251
00:11:56.240 --> 00:11:57.720
we do to make it, especially this time of year,
252
00:11:57.759 --> 00:12:00.679
make it festive? You know, my wife and children are Jewish,
253
00:12:00.720 --> 00:12:02.200
so we celebrate Hanka as well, which is going to
254
00:12:02.240 --> 00:12:04.279
start on Monday, So we, you know, really try to
255
00:12:04.279 --> 00:12:06.759
pump up that kind of feeling. And I it took
256
00:12:06.799 --> 00:12:08.600
me forever to do this year, but I finally got
257
00:12:08.600 --> 00:12:10.840
the lights hung outside so we get a nice lit
258
00:12:10.919 --> 00:12:14.120
up front yard. And yeah, like the reality is what
259
00:12:14.159 --> 00:12:15.919
it is. We have this size house. We have this
260
00:12:16.039 --> 00:12:19.200
budget for our lives, and within that we're gonna make
261
00:12:19.200 --> 00:12:20.360
it as fun as we can, and we're going to
262
00:12:20.399 --> 00:12:24.840
try to like help them remember these times as really good, warm,
263
00:12:25.120 --> 00:12:26.840
couga filled times.
264
00:12:27.639 --> 00:12:30.919
Yes, that's one of the things I learned about coming
265
00:12:30.960 --> 00:12:33.879
over here, because folks in this nation are a little
266
00:12:33.879 --> 00:12:36.399
bit on the frugal side. So what they do is
267
00:12:36.399 --> 00:12:39.440
they work with with the God. The housing is much smaller,
268
00:12:39.559 --> 00:12:42.919
the portions are smaller, the people are enormous, but somehow
269
00:12:42.919 --> 00:12:46.559
they continue to break antic sizes on like bread and
270
00:12:46.639 --> 00:12:51.120
cheese and butter. I'm like, okay, great, super It's just
271
00:12:51.279 --> 00:12:53.879
interesting to watch the different kind of priority put on
272
00:12:53.960 --> 00:12:56.440
different parts of their lives, because over here it is
273
00:12:56.519 --> 00:12:59.639
work to live. Once five o'clock rolls around. If you're
274
00:12:59.679 --> 00:13:02.559
still in the aldi at five to eight, you best
275
00:13:02.679 --> 00:13:05.639
be making your way to the cashier or somebody's literally
276
00:13:05.639 --> 00:13:08.799
gonna sweep you out the front door and say come
277
00:13:08.840 --> 00:13:12.200
back tomorrow at eight oh two when we open goodbye.
278
00:13:12.320 --> 00:13:15.039
And I'm like, all right, noted, And it's it's not
279
00:13:15.080 --> 00:13:17.279
that big a deal. Wants you adjust to it?
280
00:13:17.519 --> 00:13:18.720
Yeah, you don't have to.
281
00:13:18.720 --> 00:13:22.039
Bury anybody in a gigantic house or a ton of stuff,
282
00:13:22.200 --> 00:13:27.240
or like something very specific like field trippy feel every
283
00:13:27.279 --> 00:13:30.159
single day of the holiday season. What you do is,
284
00:13:30.240 --> 00:13:33.200
like you say, work with intentionality. Make sure people know
285
00:13:33.200 --> 00:13:35.799
that this is the focus for the evening and all
286
00:13:35.840 --> 00:13:39.600
attention is focused right here, right now. What a beautiful
287
00:13:40.240 --> 00:13:43.360
way to really focus on living a life and living
288
00:13:43.399 --> 00:13:46.120
it well, especially if you consider it to be you know,
289
00:13:46.200 --> 00:13:50.159
within bounds of certain sort budgets or square feets or
290
00:13:50.200 --> 00:13:52.759
however you want to look at it. Great and what like,
291
00:13:52.799 --> 00:13:54.759
we can absolutely work as long as we know where
292
00:13:54.799 --> 00:13:57.600
the boundaries lie. We can pack that sucker full.
293
00:13:58.159 --> 00:14:02.159
Absolutely. And one thing, it's almost like one of the
294
00:14:02.159 --> 00:14:04.000
things about having kids that I've realized is it's kind
295
00:14:04.039 --> 00:14:06.279
of a cheat code. It's like, because they are going
296
00:14:06.320 --> 00:14:09.720
to mirror everything they they you know, they're a little
297
00:14:09.720 --> 00:14:11.000
bit out in the world. Now they're in school. They're
298
00:14:11.000 --> 00:14:12.600
in public school, so they come home with other things.
299
00:14:12.600 --> 00:14:14.279
They come home with this, you know, six seven or
300
00:14:14.279 --> 00:14:17.840
whatever whatever they're learning at school. But also their tone,
301
00:14:18.000 --> 00:14:21.759
their perspective, the way they fix their face or don't,
302
00:14:21.799 --> 00:14:23.240
the way, you know, the way they talk to each other,
303
00:14:23.240 --> 00:14:25.559
the way they talk to us. Sometimes I'll get I'll
304
00:14:25.559 --> 00:14:27.679
be like, where's this tone coming from? And then I realize,
305
00:14:27.720 --> 00:14:29.639
I know exactly where's coming from. It's me. They're talking
306
00:14:29.679 --> 00:14:31.919
back to me like me, so I kind of get
307
00:14:32.559 --> 00:14:35.399
it's like in real time kind of feedback here about
308
00:14:35.399 --> 00:14:37.360
how I'm coming across, And so I can go, oh,
309
00:14:37.399 --> 00:14:40.799
look like my stress is coming through my you know
310
00:14:40.840 --> 00:14:43.399
whatever it is, my not feeling good about the day,
311
00:14:43.559 --> 00:14:46.519
or feeling cold, or feeling stressed about whatever. All right,
312
00:14:46.600 --> 00:14:49.559
Well they are picking out their little sponges, their emotional sponges,
313
00:14:49.600 --> 00:14:51.840
their vibe sponges, and they pick up on that so easily.
314
00:14:51.919 --> 00:14:54.240
So if you can for me, it's like, if I
315
00:14:54.279 --> 00:14:56.200
can stay checked in on that, if I can be
316
00:14:56.240 --> 00:14:58.240
aware of that, then I really kind of have a
317
00:14:58.279 --> 00:15:00.919
little more insight. No matter how self aware I am,
318
00:15:01.120 --> 00:15:02.720
I have a little more insight into how I'm coming
319
00:15:02.759 --> 00:15:05.840
across because if I see if they start snapping at
320
00:15:05.840 --> 00:15:08.000
each other and they're yelling, then I realize, like, oh,
321
00:15:08.000 --> 00:15:10.440
they hear they've been hearing more yelling than I. Maybe
322
00:15:10.679 --> 00:15:12.240
maybe they need to, you know, maybe we can work
323
00:15:12.279 --> 00:15:14.000
on this a little bit. Maybe we can change our
324
00:15:14.000 --> 00:15:16.240
tones and we can work on how to hear these
325
00:15:16.240 --> 00:15:18.159
things and one of the things that I noticed with
326
00:15:18.200 --> 00:15:20.480
my kids a lot, and I think this is I
327
00:15:20.480 --> 00:15:23.879
think this is just human nature, is uh the I
328
00:15:23.879 --> 00:15:25.120
don't know if a human nature or now it's what
329
00:15:25.159 --> 00:15:27.639
they come into is a scarcity of mentality, you know,
330
00:15:27.679 --> 00:15:29.279
So it just it kind of exists when you when
331
00:15:29.279 --> 00:15:32.039
you're little, and you have things, and there's an object
332
00:15:32.039 --> 00:15:34.279
permanence of it. So when a thing goes away, you
333
00:15:34.360 --> 00:15:36.039
might never see it again, you don't know, And so
334
00:15:36.120 --> 00:15:38.399
there's a hoarding mentality and there's a mine of it.
335
00:15:38.799 --> 00:15:43.120
And I'm trying really hard to and also like even
336
00:15:43.159 --> 00:15:45.399
little kids, you can tell them things. You can tell
337
00:15:45.440 --> 00:15:48.279
them that's gonna work sometimes, but if you show them,
338
00:15:48.279 --> 00:15:49.720
if you embody the things that you're trying to do,
339
00:15:49.799 --> 00:15:52.000
if you if you if you try to be an
340
00:15:52.000 --> 00:15:54.399
example for what you want to teach. So I work
341
00:15:54.519 --> 00:15:57.320
very hard because I grew up with a scarcity of mentality,
342
00:15:57.360 --> 00:15:58.919
and for no real reason. My family had food, we
343
00:15:58.960 --> 00:16:00.759
had a big enough house, we were we had clothes.
344
00:16:00.799 --> 00:16:03.159
It was no we were not scarce. Nothing was scarce.
345
00:16:03.919 --> 00:16:06.039
But there's still the idea of like it could all
346
00:16:06.039 --> 00:16:08.000
go away at any point. I'm stressed about all of
347
00:16:08.000 --> 00:16:10.960
it and now I realize, like that's not true, and
348
00:16:11.000 --> 00:16:12.519
I don't want to live like that. I don't want
349
00:16:12.519 --> 00:16:13.960
to show that to my kids. I don't want them
350
00:16:13.960 --> 00:16:16.200
to feel like that. I want them to feel able
351
00:16:16.240 --> 00:16:18.440
to share, because we have a surplus, or at least
352
00:16:18.480 --> 00:16:20.600
we have enough, you know, whatever it is, there's enough
353
00:16:20.639 --> 00:16:23.279
to share, and sharing will make you feel better. You
354
00:16:23.320 --> 00:16:25.519
don't have to get as offended. They're right now on
355
00:16:25.559 --> 00:16:27.480
the spot of like if they you know, if they're
356
00:16:27.519 --> 00:16:30.679
playing and somebody gets a little hurt, well, then without question,
357
00:16:30.960 --> 00:16:32.759
whoever did the hurting did it on purpose. They did
358
00:16:32.799 --> 00:16:35.039
it because they're mean and because they're mad, because they
359
00:16:35.080 --> 00:16:36.879
want to hurt. And it's like you guys will just
360
00:16:36.919 --> 00:16:39.000
bumped into each other like it's an accident. We can
361
00:16:38.759 --> 00:16:41.440
we can like chill out on this. But then I
362
00:16:41.480 --> 00:16:43.480
have to recognize, like, well they're getting some of that
363
00:16:43.519 --> 00:16:46.279
from dad. When we're driving and somebody maybe isn't paying
364
00:16:46.360 --> 00:16:48.519
enough attension and I yell at them like they just
365
00:16:48.720 --> 00:16:50.679
tried to ruin everything on purpose, like they're trying to
366
00:16:50.759 --> 00:16:53.200
ruin my day and I'm getting road rage, and I
367
00:16:53.200 --> 00:16:54.919
have to recognize, like, oh, that's what they're seeing. So
368
00:16:55.000 --> 00:16:58.159
I got to also bring it back in and work on,
369
00:16:58.320 --> 00:17:00.759
you know, chilling out. It's one thing to and say like, ah,
370
00:17:00.759 --> 00:17:02.559
I'm chill out for their sake, and then for me
371
00:17:02.639 --> 00:17:04.640
it's like, well, the way to do that, really do that,
372
00:17:04.759 --> 00:17:07.440
is to chill out, not just pretend to be chilled out,
373
00:17:07.440 --> 00:17:09.559
but actually take a moment and go all right, even
374
00:17:09.599 --> 00:17:11.079
if that guy was being an asshole, it's not going
375
00:17:11.160 --> 00:17:13.039
to affect me anymore after this. We're safe, We're okay.
376
00:17:13.119 --> 00:17:15.480
Let's just the way to make our day worse is
377
00:17:15.519 --> 00:17:18.720
to stick it, to perseparate over it. Let's just move on.
378
00:17:18.920 --> 00:17:21.720
It's okay, We're okay, everyone's okay.
379
00:17:21.799 --> 00:17:24.359
There's still a conversation that you and I had with
380
00:17:24.440 --> 00:17:25.880
Sean Cleary. Shout out to Sean.
381
00:17:26.000 --> 00:17:27.200
Love you man, Shout out Sean.
382
00:17:27.559 --> 00:17:30.519
I love that guy. Whenever he was talking about sometimes
383
00:17:30.519 --> 00:17:32.599
his kid wants the last piece of bread in the bag,
384
00:17:33.240 --> 00:17:35.119
like he wants the butt piece, but the you know,
385
00:17:35.160 --> 00:17:36.920
the first one's already gone, of course, because now you're
386
00:17:36.960 --> 00:17:38.559
making your way through the loaf. And I just remember
387
00:17:38.599 --> 00:17:40.799
talking to him. I was like, dude, you know, it's
388
00:17:41.160 --> 00:17:45.319
just not that serious. Note if the kid wants the
389
00:17:45.400 --> 00:17:49.119
last piece, like just just pull out the last flipping piece.
390
00:17:51.000 --> 00:17:53.720
And I have applied that thinking to so many things
391
00:17:53.759 --> 00:17:55.960
in my life since he and I had that conversation,
392
00:17:56.079 --> 00:17:58.720
since we had that little exchange, just like, let's think
393
00:17:58.759 --> 00:18:00.880
about this for just a hot sec like we can
394
00:18:00.920 --> 00:18:02.720
either stand in the ceremony or something. It was like, no,
395
00:18:02.839 --> 00:18:04.240
we have to eat through the rest of the bread
396
00:18:04.240 --> 00:18:07.279
to get to the to the last piece, or we
397
00:18:07.519 --> 00:18:10.000
just like show our hand down the bag because we're
398
00:18:10.039 --> 00:18:11.759
the growing up, I'm looking for it. We can do that,
399
00:18:12.119 --> 00:18:14.359
pull out that last piece and just do it and
400
00:18:14.480 --> 00:18:16.400
keep all of the piece in the family. No one
401
00:18:16.440 --> 00:18:20.799
has lost any kind of like perceived competition or some
402
00:18:20.839 --> 00:18:24.640
sort of battle of wills, like this is a kid, This.
403
00:18:24.720 --> 00:18:27.440
Is so funny. How Yeah, that's such a so relevant
404
00:18:27.440 --> 00:18:30.039
and so true that there's so many things on the daily.
405
00:18:30.079 --> 00:18:32.240
There's so many things, and my wife Jen does a
406
00:18:32.319 --> 00:18:35.799
much better job of it of recognizing being able to
407
00:18:35.839 --> 00:18:38.440
delineate between what is important, what needs to be a
408
00:18:38.440 --> 00:18:41.440
hard line, and what doesn't. You know, Like there's so
409
00:18:41.599 --> 00:18:44.000
much and I just like I could get to death
410
00:18:44.039 --> 00:18:46.160
in three steps. I'm a bit of a catastrophizer. My
411
00:18:46.200 --> 00:18:51.039
therapist would say, So, you know, if something. If if
412
00:18:51.039 --> 00:18:53.200
I perceive that whatever the kids are doing, or whatever
413
00:18:53.240 --> 00:18:55.480
they ask for or whatever they're trying to get, I
414
00:18:55.759 --> 00:18:57.799
can quickly let that snowball in my mind and I'll
415
00:18:57.799 --> 00:18:59.240
see them, like, all of a sudden, I see them
416
00:18:59.279 --> 00:19:02.240
as a twenty year old who doesn't understand how to
417
00:19:02.279 --> 00:19:04.440
exist in society because they've been spoiled. And I'm like, well,
418
00:19:04.440 --> 00:19:06.319
that's way too far to go on this right now, Like,
419
00:19:06.400 --> 00:19:08.519
let's pull back a little bit. If they want to
420
00:19:08.559 --> 00:19:09.920
little something extra right now, they can probably have a
421
00:19:09.920 --> 00:19:11.759
little something actually right now, it's okay. We're not like
422
00:19:12.119 --> 00:19:14.319
setting a precedent for their life that says they're entitled
423
00:19:14.359 --> 00:19:15.799
to things. What you're saying, Like, we can chill out
424
00:19:15.839 --> 00:19:17.480
a little bit. We can take a moment and like
425
00:19:18.039 --> 00:19:19.680
I don't have to worry about which piece of bread
426
00:19:19.680 --> 00:19:22.079
we eat. I don't have to worry about which plate
427
00:19:22.200 --> 00:19:24.119
or fork you're using. You use whatever plate you want,
428
00:19:24.160 --> 00:19:26.720
I don't care, you know, Like, but there's that first step,
429
00:19:27.079 --> 00:19:29.039
And I don't know if it's I think it's that
430
00:19:29.039 --> 00:19:32.519
catastrophizing for me. I think it's the anxiety of like, no,
431
00:19:32.599 --> 00:19:34.599
it has to be this way, and also it has
432
00:19:34.680 --> 00:19:36.279
to be this way, and if you're not listening to me,
433
00:19:36.880 --> 00:19:40.839
now I've been insulted. Now now my authority is being questioned.
434
00:19:40.839 --> 00:19:43.000
And if my authority is in question, I'm gonna lose
435
00:19:43.000 --> 00:19:44.920
control this whole thing. It's gonna be chaos in this house.
436
00:19:44.960 --> 00:19:47.079
And that's just death and three steps. That's just not true.
437
00:19:47.119 --> 00:19:49.400
That's just not the way that is actually gonna go.
438
00:19:49.880 --> 00:19:51.799
And so I have to it's and it's been really
439
00:19:51.839 --> 00:19:54.319
helpful for me, like really in life across the board.
440
00:19:54.720 --> 00:19:57.000
Like I say, it's it's I don't know that it's
441
00:19:57.039 --> 00:19:58.839
a cheat code that's worth it for everyone. You know,
442
00:19:58.839 --> 00:20:01.200
I'm not saying every I should have kids to work
443
00:20:01.240 --> 00:20:03.440
on their own self awareness and their perspective on the world.
444
00:20:03.559 --> 00:20:06.519
But one silver lining of it is I get to
445
00:20:06.519 --> 00:20:08.400
go like, oh yeah, I can kind of apply this
446
00:20:08.880 --> 00:20:11.039
across the board. Nothing has to matter as much as
447
00:20:11.079 --> 00:20:14.079
I perceive it too. As I quickly put together this
448
00:20:14.200 --> 00:20:17.680
chain of events that raises my anxiety and causes some catastrophe,
449
00:20:17.680 --> 00:20:21.279
and I go, that's that's like, even if that's the
450
00:20:21.720 --> 00:20:23.799
exact way things go, it's gonna take a while to
451
00:20:23.799 --> 00:20:25.720
get there. We can probably pivot before we get there.
452
00:20:25.799 --> 00:20:27.240
We're really Okay, let's chill out.
453
00:20:28.519 --> 00:20:32.640
Yeah, And I think that's amazing. Like I don't want
454
00:20:32.640 --> 00:20:34.359
to say advice, but that's just a great message for
455
00:20:34.359 --> 00:20:37.319
anybody listening, like whatever's going, like you know what, like
456
00:20:37.400 --> 00:20:40.000
seriously take it, just take a breath, like a minor
457
00:20:40.039 --> 00:20:42.640
pause and look at this like is this really that
458
00:20:42.839 --> 00:20:45.920
serious something? Yeah? One hundred percent are I want to
459
00:20:45.960 --> 00:20:47.880
give that paight too. I'm just like, you know what,
460
00:20:48.240 --> 00:20:50.039
some of these things just are not because boy, I
461
00:20:50.079 --> 00:20:51.799
hear you whenever you say, you know, at this point,
462
00:20:51.839 --> 00:20:53.839
now they're twenty years old, they're cushing my authority, and
463
00:20:53.880 --> 00:20:56.960
now we got a problem. And sometimes you have to
464
00:20:57.119 --> 00:20:58.880
kind of look at that with a more critical line
465
00:20:58.880 --> 00:21:02.839
and be like, okay, they're they're between six and seven,
466
00:21:02.920 --> 00:21:08.240
and so that's probably not exactly what's happening right now. Yeah,
467
00:21:08.279 --> 00:21:10.480
you're pushing a boundary because that's what children do. They
468
00:21:10.519 --> 00:21:12.759
do that they learn by doing that, you know, and
469
00:21:12.759 --> 00:21:14.720
we've main the discipline in that way. They learn that
470
00:21:14.759 --> 00:21:17.359
as well. And some of that stuff is it's just
471
00:21:17.359 --> 00:21:18.279
not that serious, man.
472
00:21:18.480 --> 00:21:20.920
Yeah, And I think that there's a you know, not
473
00:21:21.079 --> 00:21:23.480
to make it a bigger thing, but that's also I
474
00:21:23.519 --> 00:21:26.039
really think something that's going on. So one of the
475
00:21:26.079 --> 00:21:28.000
things that we that I try to keep in mind
476
00:21:28.000 --> 00:21:30.279
as a parent, that I've heard from other you know,
477
00:21:30.559 --> 00:21:34.200
parenting experts or advice givers, whatever, is if if you
478
00:21:34.240 --> 00:21:36.559
make it all a big deal, then nothing's a big deal.
479
00:21:36.759 --> 00:21:39.559
If everything is, if everything is gets a full reaction,
480
00:21:39.920 --> 00:21:41.880
they're gonna get immune to that reaction. They're gonna stop
481
00:21:41.920 --> 00:21:43.920
caring about the reaction, which is kind of what I
482
00:21:43.920 --> 00:21:45.960
feel like not to you know, like, I don't know,
483
00:21:46.000 --> 00:21:49.079
maybe I'm shoehorning in a bigger message here, but it's
484
00:21:49.119 --> 00:21:50.640
kind of like looking at the world like if you're
485
00:21:50.839 --> 00:21:53.920
if you're mad about everything, then nothing really gets your
486
00:21:54.000 --> 00:21:56.119
anger and hold that anger for the couple of things
487
00:21:56.119 --> 00:21:58.720
that like are deserve your anger, you know, and a
488
00:21:58.759 --> 00:22:00.400
lot of the stuff just doesn't have to matter as
489
00:22:00.480 --> 00:22:03.240
much on any side of anything, like and I don't
490
00:22:03.240 --> 00:22:05.799
mean like if there are people being oppressed, and like
491
00:22:05.799 --> 00:22:07.599
if there's if there are problems, be mad about it.
492
00:22:07.640 --> 00:22:09.759
But every little thing on any side of anything, you
493
00:22:09.759 --> 00:22:13.039
don't have to be the more anger when anger gets
494
00:22:13.039 --> 00:22:14.880
built up. It seems like anger gets built up. And
495
00:22:15.119 --> 00:22:17.519
this is another thing I watch my daughter do and
496
00:22:17.839 --> 00:22:19.400
kind of like when they know that the other one
497
00:22:19.440 --> 00:22:21.200
did it on purpose, they know someone's mad. She the
498
00:22:21.240 --> 00:22:24.440
moment something goes wrong for her, she will immediately look
499
00:22:24.440 --> 00:22:26.440
for someone to blame, like kind of the thing like
500
00:22:26.440 --> 00:22:28.119
if she trips on her own, you know, she'll just
501
00:22:28.160 --> 00:22:30.640
like stumble and she'd be like who put this carpet here?
502
00:22:30.680 --> 00:22:33.440
You know, like whatever, that kind of thing. And it's like, baby,
503
00:22:33.440 --> 00:22:34.920
you gotta like you can take a breath, like this
504
00:22:35.119 --> 00:22:37.400
mistakes happen, and I kind of look at the world
505
00:22:37.440 --> 00:22:39.680
and I go like, everyone is so angry and then
506
00:22:39.759 --> 00:22:42.279
just needs an outlet, needs someone to blame for that.
507
00:22:42.640 --> 00:22:44.880
And maybe if we just like chill out on what
508
00:22:44.920 --> 00:22:47.319
makes us angry, we will stop blaming so many people
509
00:22:47.400 --> 00:22:50.160
for it, and maybe, like you know, and there I'm
510
00:22:50.200 --> 00:22:51.799
not saying no one's to be blamed for anything. There's
511
00:22:51.839 --> 00:22:54.440
certainly things to be worried about, but like, target that anger,
512
00:22:54.480 --> 00:22:56.319
target that energy, and then the rest of it. Stop
513
00:22:56.359 --> 00:22:59.119
giving yourself ulcers over it, at least what I tell myself, you.
514
00:22:59.119 --> 00:23:03.079
Know, amen, definitely, because honestly, part of me thinks that
515
00:23:03.079 --> 00:23:05.799
that's just the idea, that's literally the goal. Let's just
516
00:23:05.839 --> 00:23:09.000
get everybody so unbelievably fuzzed up that they can't hear
517
00:23:09.000 --> 00:23:11.519
anything over the static of the conflict that's already been
518
00:23:11.599 --> 00:23:15.559
just sown every single flipping day, I'm turning on TV,
519
00:23:15.640 --> 00:23:18.279
you're picking up your telephone like, oh my word.
520
00:23:18.799 --> 00:23:23.359
And it's just it's pretty clear that that and anger
521
00:23:23.440 --> 00:23:26.559
and fear and controversy and conflict drive engagement, you know.
522
00:23:26.640 --> 00:23:28.559
So there's there's really no way around anymore looking at
523
00:23:28.559 --> 00:23:30.200
social media and any of this, and it's there's so
524
00:23:30.279 --> 00:23:33.119
much good that can come from it. There's so much communication.
525
00:23:33.200 --> 00:23:36.480
Is someone there that there's so fewer gates between the
526
00:23:36.559 --> 00:23:39.640
of US and fewer gatekeepers. But also it is at
527
00:23:39.640 --> 00:23:41.799
the end of a day, money making endeavor and the
528
00:23:43.200 --> 00:23:45.720
conflicts raises engagement. And so you got to remember, like
529
00:23:45.799 --> 00:23:47.359
they were seeing the bad stuff on purpose, like that
530
00:23:47.440 --> 00:23:50.160
is an intentional move to be shown the bad stuff.
531
00:23:50.200 --> 00:23:52.160
So we keep and I'm totally guilty of it. I
532
00:23:52.240 --> 00:23:54.119
check in all day long. What are these assholes doing now?
533
00:23:54.200 --> 00:23:54.319
Right?
534
00:23:55.319 --> 00:23:57.680
All right, well just take a break, Let's just take
535
00:23:57.720 --> 00:23:58.079
a breath.
536
00:23:59.119 --> 00:24:01.000
I got a lady Blood County. I watch like a
537
00:24:01.000 --> 00:24:03.599
hall because every time that he forgets I'm like, oh,
538
00:24:03.680 --> 00:24:07.680
what is this saying, now she is seeing the most ignorant,
539
00:24:07.720 --> 00:24:13.640
opinion offering person in the whole life. Please show me
540
00:24:13.759 --> 00:24:17.359
what she has been doing today. What is she breathing
541
00:24:17.440 --> 00:24:20.319
the table? I mean, not even two hours ago, I
542
00:24:20.359 --> 00:24:24.200
got into the last person who should be telling me stupid.
543
00:24:24.319 --> 00:24:29.519
It was great, yeah, And I mean there's validity to
544
00:24:29.559 --> 00:24:32.400
that too, you know. Like you know, I keep trying
545
00:24:32.440 --> 00:24:34.039
to one of the things that I've got going over
546
00:24:34.079 --> 00:24:36.400
on my my platforms. I keep trying to get Nicholas
547
00:24:36.440 --> 00:24:38.359
one Test to meet me in a charity boxing match,
548
00:24:38.359 --> 00:24:40.240
because he loves spouting his mouth off. And there's part
549
00:24:40.240 --> 00:24:42.119
of me that's like, if we stop giving this guy platform,
550
00:24:42.119 --> 00:24:45.240
he will go away. He's forgettable and nobody can. The
551
00:24:45.240 --> 00:24:49.359
people who care just want someone, They want a charismatic leader,
552
00:24:49.400 --> 00:24:51.119
and he's really neither of those things. But at least
553
00:24:51.160 --> 00:24:52.759
he's loud and has a microphone, and so like, he
554
00:24:52.839 --> 00:24:56.759
keeps trying to be relevant, and he like, on one hand,
555
00:24:57.119 --> 00:24:58.480
all right, if you're gonna spot off and try to
556
00:24:58.480 --> 00:25:00.359
be relevant to come come meet me, let's talk, let's
557
00:25:00.400 --> 00:25:02.799
have let's do this, let's let's have a charitable event.
558
00:25:03.240 --> 00:25:05.440
But on the other hand, maybe if we just stop
559
00:25:05.480 --> 00:25:07.279
talking about him and stop talking to him. There's nothing,
560
00:25:07.319 --> 00:25:11.240
He'll have nothing he offers, he's not he has no substance.
561
00:25:11.279 --> 00:25:14.039
He only has attention. And if we stop giving him attention.
562
00:25:14.079 --> 00:25:16.599
You know some of those people, And I know there's
563
00:25:16.599 --> 00:25:18.720
sides to all of this, because if you stop paying attention,
564
00:25:18.839 --> 00:25:20.799
they'll sneak around the edge and they'll build up the
565
00:25:20.839 --> 00:25:22.240
people who think like them and all of a sudden
566
00:25:22.279 --> 00:25:24.039
show up and then it'll be a problem. So I
567
00:25:24.079 --> 00:25:25.680
get how we got to pay attention. I get how
568
00:25:25.680 --> 00:25:27.960
we want to speak out against people. There's also just
569
00:25:28.000 --> 00:25:30.839
something to be said for if you don't fuel that
570
00:25:31.359 --> 00:25:34.079
it will die, you know. And I don't, again, no
571
00:25:34.160 --> 00:25:36.559
expert on anything. I don't have a I'm not an
572
00:25:36.559 --> 00:25:37.960
expert on a single thing, but I do. You just
573
00:25:38.039 --> 00:25:41.000
kind of feel like if we the things that you
574
00:25:41.039 --> 00:25:42.920
give attention to are the things that thrive. Where you
575
00:25:42.960 --> 00:25:46.160
put fuel is what's going to grow, right, So kind
576
00:25:46.160 --> 00:25:48.680
of like all of this putting putting more, especially this
577
00:25:48.680 --> 00:25:50.480
time of year, like you said, just taking a moment,
578
00:25:50.559 --> 00:25:53.039
even even if you need to, if you feel driven
579
00:25:53.119 --> 00:25:56.599
to to stay super involved and super angry, because there's
580
00:25:56.599 --> 00:25:58.799
a lot of things that are absolutely valid to be
581
00:25:58.839 --> 00:26:02.000
angry about. Maybe just like for the moment, even f
582
00:26:02.039 --> 00:26:06.759
one's gotta gotta refuel, you know, take a moment, sit back, sitting, sitting,
583
00:26:07.200 --> 00:26:11.440
what's it called pit pitt row not a really enough
584
00:26:11.440 --> 00:26:15.359
one guy, but a pit stop, make a pitstop.
585
00:26:15.039 --> 00:26:21.279
Yeah exactly, and get yeah oil, get something exactly. Yeah,
586
00:26:21.640 --> 00:26:23.319
it doesn't take that long. Those guys are like a
587
00:26:23.400 --> 00:26:26.319
super Yeah, so you don't got to sit there for long,
588
00:26:26.400 --> 00:26:28.400
but you know, yeah, you still have to do it,
589
00:26:28.480 --> 00:26:30.880
because you can't do all that without doing those kind
590
00:26:30.920 --> 00:26:31.359
of things.
591
00:26:31.359 --> 00:26:33.880
Occasionally, Yeah, you blow a tire, you run out the
592
00:26:33.880 --> 00:26:35.240
gas or whatever else goes wrong with the car.
593
00:26:35.400 --> 00:26:39.400
I don't know exactly. No, I love that. And nobody
594
00:26:39.400 --> 00:26:41.319
who's trying to say anybody is an expert or whatever.
595
00:26:41.359 --> 00:26:44.039
What I am trying to say is, if you, if
596
00:26:44.039 --> 00:26:47.559
we what you're saying about Nicolas pointest, if you expect
597
00:26:47.599 --> 00:26:49.799
people to forget about the guy just not giving any attention,
598
00:26:49.839 --> 00:26:51.480
there's always going to be somebody that says they're not
599
00:26:51.599 --> 00:26:53.279
going to and then they sneak off and do it,
600
00:26:53.759 --> 00:26:56.039
and so those numbers continue. It's it's just hard to
601
00:26:56.079 --> 00:26:59.359
do that because that requires more than just your attention.
602
00:26:59.519 --> 00:27:02.960
And now if you challenge that guy to come show
603
00:27:03.039 --> 00:27:05.000
up in a square ring and y'all put on some
604
00:27:05.039 --> 00:27:07.680
gloves and take care of some business, that is very
605
00:27:07.759 --> 00:27:10.599
much a you, one on one situation where you can
606
00:27:10.680 --> 00:27:15.279
approach it, offer gentlemen, conduct, offer rules, restrictions, et cetera.
607
00:27:15.440 --> 00:27:21.160
And then you know, yeah, and I guess that's kind
608
00:27:21.200 --> 00:27:24.640
of the best I can hope for from me on
609
00:27:24.680 --> 00:27:25.640
any platform I have here.
610
00:27:25.680 --> 00:27:27.119
It's kind of the same as being a parent, like
611
00:27:27.160 --> 00:27:30.720
you were saying before, to dimensial getposed, truths can be
612
00:27:30.759 --> 00:27:33.519
true at the same time, and that that idea is
613
00:27:33.519 --> 00:27:36.440
something I also try to show my kids, Like I
614
00:27:36.480 --> 00:27:39.039
apologize to them all the time. I'm quick to say
615
00:27:39.400 --> 00:27:41.200
I popped off, I'm sorry that was, you know, or
616
00:27:41.240 --> 00:27:44.119
I'll say, like, this is not you. I'm stressed and
617
00:27:44.119 --> 00:27:45.759
I'm gonna work on not being stress because right now
618
00:27:45.759 --> 00:27:47.440
we're supposed to be playing guests who and there's no
619
00:27:47.480 --> 00:27:48.960
reason for me to be stressed while we're right here
620
00:27:48.960 --> 00:27:51.279
doing this, you know. And like, but getting that point
621
00:27:51.279 --> 00:27:54.519
across that a dad makes mistakes and dad brings other
622
00:27:54.519 --> 00:27:57.319
things in here, and dad is working the best I
623
00:27:57.359 --> 00:27:58.920
can hope. So it's like what I do with my
624
00:27:59.000 --> 00:28:00.480
kids is also what I want to put out there
625
00:28:01.039 --> 00:28:02.759
with the you know, whatever kind of platform I have
626
00:28:02.880 --> 00:28:04.200
or you know, getting the chance to be here as
627
00:28:04.240 --> 00:28:08.200
I love the best I can help for us to
628
00:28:08.240 --> 00:28:11.960
show the work, to show I am constantly working, get
629
00:28:12.440 --> 00:28:16.279
I catastrophize, I get overly anxious. I also try my best.
630
00:28:16.319 --> 00:28:18.400
Remember to take a step back and go, Okay, let's
631
00:28:18.400 --> 00:28:20.759
like chill out. You know, I don't spend as much
632
00:28:20.799 --> 00:28:22.160
time as I would like to, and that chill out
633
00:28:22.200 --> 00:28:26.359
space not mindful space. But I do the If if
634
00:28:26.400 --> 00:28:28.960
I got to step three right now and someone said,
635
00:28:28.960 --> 00:28:30.319
all right, what are you proud of at the end
636
00:28:30.319 --> 00:28:32.799
of your life here, I would say I tried, and
637
00:28:32.799 --> 00:28:34.519
I let people know that I tried. I didn't try
638
00:28:34.559 --> 00:28:36.400
to do the thing where you hide, where you make
639
00:28:36.400 --> 00:28:38.359
it look like it's easy, and then you just squeeze
640
00:28:38.359 --> 00:28:40.240
all that stuff down and it comes out in a weird,
641
00:28:40.279 --> 00:28:42.279
sideways way and end up you know, something goes wrong.
642
00:28:42.279 --> 00:28:45.119
It's just like it's hard. It's hard, and the only
643
00:28:45.160 --> 00:28:46.759
way through it for me is to be intentional and
644
00:28:46.799 --> 00:28:49.359
to be honest about that, to show the strings, to
645
00:28:49.400 --> 00:28:52.680
show the scaffolding and say, all right, I got that
646
00:28:52.720 --> 00:28:54.319
one wrong. I'll try again. I got that one right.
647
00:28:54.319 --> 00:28:55.519
That feels great. I'll try to keep that one in
648
00:28:55.559 --> 00:28:57.759
the books. I might get it wrong next time. That's okay,
649
00:28:57.839 --> 00:28:58.440
let's keep going.
650
00:28:59.400 --> 00:29:04.279
I love that Number one, intentional, that's like the word
651
00:29:04.319 --> 00:29:06.200
of the day, the word of the year. I love
652
00:29:06.200 --> 00:29:08.200
it like I can absolutely mess up at the fact
653
00:29:08.359 --> 00:29:10.720
was trying. I was trying, and I know I knew
654
00:29:10.720 --> 00:29:13.319
when I messed up, and I want to do better,
655
00:29:13.440 --> 00:29:15.559
and that all those things go hand in hand. That's
656
00:29:15.599 --> 00:29:17.599
literally a ring around the rosie of getting to be
657
00:29:17.640 --> 00:29:22.680
a better human being. Nice. Number two getting making sure
658
00:29:22.720 --> 00:29:25.279
that people who are looking at you see the bones
659
00:29:25.359 --> 00:29:27.799
and the skin. They don't just see the outside of it,
660
00:29:27.839 --> 00:29:29.720
they see the working. That's one thing I love so
661
00:29:29.799 --> 00:29:32.200
much about watching your content on social media. It's like
662
00:29:32.240 --> 00:29:35.039
there is so much of a real person there that's
663
00:29:35.079 --> 00:29:37.880
showing it. It's not some curated version of Jay greg
664
00:29:38.519 --> 00:29:41.240
It's peppered with feelings and it's got a ton of
665
00:29:41.279 --> 00:29:43.359
comedy in it, and it's also just some guy that's, oh,
666
00:29:43.400 --> 00:29:45.200
you're just trying to do his best because he's got
667
00:29:45.200 --> 00:29:46.559
a wife and he's got kids, and he's got a
668
00:29:46.599 --> 00:29:48.000
career and He's got all these other kind of things
669
00:29:48.000 --> 00:29:51.799
and they intertwine so beautifully. But occasionally we get snagged up,
670
00:29:51.880 --> 00:29:54.839
and that's when we love to hear the story. How
671
00:29:54.880 --> 00:29:57.880
did you get it untangled? What went on? What did
672
00:29:57.920 --> 00:29:59.839
you get right? What do you think you could have
673
00:29:59.839 --> 00:30:01.799
done better? And we get all of that when if
674
00:30:01.839 --> 00:30:07.359
we tune into whatever's you're offering, and it's so sincere, authentic, delicious.
675
00:30:07.519 --> 00:30:10.079
I dig it, Thanks man, thank you. I think that
676
00:30:10.119 --> 00:30:13.680
I spent enough time earlier in my life, uh, you know,
677
00:30:13.839 --> 00:30:15.880
being scared of all that, and being scared for all
678
00:30:15.920 --> 00:30:18.799
sorts of reasons. I have my own abandonment fears and
679
00:30:18.839 --> 00:30:20.799
whatever whatever. And you know, if you, if you wanted
680
00:30:20.799 --> 00:30:22.480
to get my Therapistoma could do all sorts of talk
681
00:30:22.480 --> 00:30:24.400
about where that, where that comes from, but at some
682
00:30:24.440 --> 00:30:26.319
point just being able to look at it and go like,
683
00:30:26.400 --> 00:30:28.880
oh I it takes so much more energy to try
684
00:30:28.880 --> 00:30:30.559
to hide all that stuff and try to cover up
685
00:30:30.680 --> 00:30:34.160
because I'm scared that someone like I'm if I'm going
686
00:30:34.200 --> 00:30:35.839
to lose people because I make a mistake, or I'm
687
00:30:35.839 --> 00:30:37.720
going to lose people because I don't have my emotions
688
00:30:37.759 --> 00:30:41.319
regulated for this moment or whatever, like well, that's everyone
689
00:30:41.359 --> 00:30:43.480
goes through those things, that's not it's impossible to not.
690
00:30:43.720 --> 00:30:45.519
So then when you add the layer of trying to
691
00:30:45.640 --> 00:30:48.279
work so hard to cover it up like it doesn't happen,
692
00:30:48.319 --> 00:30:49.960
act like you're the one person in the world who
693
00:30:50.000 --> 00:30:52.519
doesn't have those struggles, Like it's just extra work and
694
00:30:52.640 --> 00:30:56.319
just making yourself work harder. So go, all right, let's
695
00:30:56.319 --> 00:31:00.000
acknowledge for me. Let's acknowledge that all this is true.
696
00:31:00.240 --> 00:31:01.839
I'm gonna screw up. I'm in the middle of screwing
697
00:31:01.880 --> 00:31:03.680
up right now. Let's figure out how it can make
698
00:31:03.680 --> 00:31:05.519
it better. Let's just move on from here and not
699
00:31:05.680 --> 00:31:08.279
worry about trying to paint over it so quick so
700
00:31:08.319 --> 00:31:10.240
that no one sees that it's a you know that
701
00:31:10.640 --> 00:31:12.640
there was a mistake, that there was a misstep, whatever
702
00:31:12.680 --> 00:31:15.960
it is. It just feels like so many Like uh,
703
00:31:16.079 --> 00:31:19.480
someone was saying recently that they were and it's gonna
704
00:31:19.480 --> 00:31:21.240
sound like a I don't know, a humble brag for
705
00:31:21.279 --> 00:31:23.200
a second, but someone was saying they were impressed by
706
00:31:23.200 --> 00:31:25.440
the strength that I have for being able to acknowledge that,
707
00:31:25.640 --> 00:31:27.880
and I was like, I don't know that it's strength.
708
00:31:27.920 --> 00:31:30.559
I just like, how do you not know? You wrong?
709
00:31:30.640 --> 00:31:32.799
Sometimes like I maybe I just have more practice than
710
00:31:32.799 --> 00:31:35.960
some people. But I've been wrong plenty. So like I
711
00:31:35.720 --> 00:31:38.079
I can, oh, yeah, that was wrong. Okay, I get it,
712
00:31:38.079 --> 00:31:39.920
I get how I was wrong there. I want to
713
00:31:39.960 --> 00:31:41.920
grow from that, I want to improve. I don't want
714
00:31:41.920 --> 00:31:44.160
to do that again. So let me look at it,
715
00:31:44.240 --> 00:31:46.240
figure out what it was, why it happened, where it
716
00:31:46.279 --> 00:31:48.559
came from. Understand that most of the time it comes
717
00:31:48.559 --> 00:31:50.519
from a protective place. It was like, there's a thing
718
00:31:50.559 --> 00:31:52.960
that happened inside me that was making me do that
719
00:31:52.960 --> 00:31:55.640
wrong because something in me thought that it needed to
720
00:31:55.640 --> 00:31:58.079
do that to keep me safe. And the truth is
721
00:31:58.079 --> 00:32:00.640
that may have been true at some point my life,
722
00:32:00.720 --> 00:32:01.400
and it doesn't.
723
00:32:01.440 --> 00:32:01.720
It's not.
724
00:32:01.759 --> 00:32:04.039
It doesn't serve me now, So I can I don't
725
00:32:04.039 --> 00:32:05.400
have to be mad at myself for I don't have
726
00:32:05.440 --> 00:32:07.519
to be down to myself, just say, all right, I
727
00:32:07.519 --> 00:32:09.000
don't have to do that one anymore. I don't have
728
00:32:09.039 --> 00:32:11.279
to react like that anymore. I don't have to have
729
00:32:11.359 --> 00:32:13.880
that kind of perspective anymore. Just like we were saying before,
730
00:32:13.880 --> 00:32:17.960
like just the perspective of it is so important, man,
731
00:32:18.000 --> 00:32:20.240
we go all right, it actually doesn't serve me to
732
00:32:20.279 --> 00:32:22.960
have that perspective, so I understand where it came from,
733
00:32:23.119 --> 00:32:25.240
or even if I don't, they probably came from somewhere
734
00:32:25.359 --> 00:32:27.319
worthy at one point in my life. Now we're going
735
00:32:27.359 --> 00:32:29.559
to move past it. We all need that. I'll find
736
00:32:29.559 --> 00:32:30.599
another way to screw up, you.
737
00:32:30.519 --> 00:32:33.519
Know, ringo, and I love that checking with yourself because
738
00:32:33.799 --> 00:32:36.240
people don't understand just how quickly you move from one
739
00:32:36.279 --> 00:32:38.839
era to another in your life, you know, like dreams
740
00:32:38.920 --> 00:32:42.599
and operating systems and things that work today like flash
741
00:32:42.599 --> 00:32:46.720
forward any number of days, weeks, months, years, and that
742
00:32:46.799 --> 00:32:50.599
can be a totally obsolete system. You know. I'm working
743
00:32:50.680 --> 00:32:53.119
from this point of view now or this is where
744
00:32:53.240 --> 00:32:55.559
most of my strength lies now because I've learned X,
745
00:32:55.680 --> 00:32:59.119
Y Z, and it's just it's it's fun, but it's
746
00:32:59.160 --> 00:33:01.599
also a little bit heartbreaking to watch that some people
747
00:33:01.599 --> 00:33:05.039
are relying on the same mannerisms, the same sort of
748
00:33:05.079 --> 00:33:08.440
systems that they used twenty years ago to try to
749
00:33:08.440 --> 00:33:10.799
get by in today's world. I'm like, I mean, good
750
00:33:10.799 --> 00:33:13.880
on you for being a traditionalist, and also like, are
751
00:33:13.880 --> 00:33:16.960
you happy? Is this getting you where you want to be?
752
00:33:17.400 --> 00:33:20.759
Is this moving you through circles that you want to
753
00:33:20.799 --> 00:33:23.319
be in? Are the people who are closest to you,
754
00:33:23.519 --> 00:33:27.519
do they enjoy the way that you are living and doing,
755
00:33:27.640 --> 00:33:29.279
not that we need to look at that so closely,
756
00:33:29.359 --> 00:33:31.680
but also we don't need to ignore it completely.
757
00:33:31.720 --> 00:33:32.839
Eat right, Yeah, you know.
758
00:33:33.000 --> 00:33:35.160
Part of a tribe or part of a circle. And
759
00:33:35.279 --> 00:33:37.680
sometimes we got to adjust because what served you know
760
00:33:37.720 --> 00:33:39.720
in nineteen eighty six is no longer going to be
761
00:33:39.720 --> 00:33:41.480
the thing in the year of our Lord twenty twenty six,
762
00:33:41.720 --> 00:33:43.000
So let's update.
763
00:33:43.359 --> 00:33:45.400
Yeah, well that's what I mean. Yeah, you're right, you
764
00:33:45.400 --> 00:33:48.319
don't there's no reason to spend too much of the
765
00:33:48.440 --> 00:33:52.039
bandwidth on external feedback. But look, some days, you know,
766
00:33:52.079 --> 00:33:53.880
some days I look around and I go, well, either
767
00:33:54.119 --> 00:33:56.759
everyone in my life is an idiot and an asshole,
768
00:33:57.039 --> 00:33:58.880
or I'm having a bit of a day. It could
769
00:33:58.960 --> 00:34:01.720
be it could be it could be me today. If
770
00:34:01.839 --> 00:34:04.480
every single person I come across is an idiot, might
771
00:34:04.519 --> 00:34:06.880
be me today. Let's just take a second and look
772
00:34:06.880 --> 00:34:09.719
at that, and then if so, what is it. Let's
773
00:34:09.719 --> 00:34:12.000
maybe think about that for a second. Or something happened
774
00:34:12.000 --> 00:34:13.400
and the rest of the world, everyone else in the
775
00:34:13.440 --> 00:34:15.800
world just feels like being dumb today. You know which
776
00:34:15.800 --> 00:34:18.639
of these is true?
777
00:34:18.920 --> 00:34:19.119
Yes?
778
00:34:19.760 --> 00:34:22.320
Can you talk about changing? You know, systems and being
779
00:34:22.360 --> 00:34:25.480
able to evolve. And I think that's such a big
780
00:34:25.559 --> 00:34:29.639
part two of like the bigger picture, like we were talking about,
781
00:34:29.719 --> 00:34:33.559
like with masculinity and with like adulthood, and there's so
782
00:34:33.719 --> 00:34:36.280
much of this, so much of what gets That's why
783
00:34:36.320 --> 00:34:38.480
I love what you do here, because you're you're showing
784
00:34:38.559 --> 00:34:42.440
this updated, evolved version of masculinity that is just it's
785
00:34:42.519 --> 00:34:46.119
just total dude life. It's manly, it's strong, and it's
786
00:34:46.199 --> 00:34:51.039
just not like all cowboys and eighteen twelve war heroes.
787
00:34:51.039 --> 00:34:53.719
Like it's like, you know, like it's like on the basics,
788
00:34:53.760 --> 00:34:56.440
Like there's so much out there in the what I
789
00:34:56.480 --> 00:34:58.880
think of as just like regressive thinking for masculinity. That's
790
00:34:58.920 --> 00:35:01.760
this old school style. And again it might have served
791
00:35:01.800 --> 00:35:03.920
at some point. You know, it used to be whether
792
00:35:03.960 --> 00:35:06.599
it was bears or bad guys or whatever, or you
793
00:35:06.639 --> 00:35:08.480
had to farm the land, you had to be tough.
794
00:35:08.880 --> 00:35:11.199
You know, skincare didn't really exist for a minute at
795
00:35:11.199 --> 00:35:14.199
the time. Like the denim felt bad, flannel felt bad
796
00:35:14.239 --> 00:35:16.360
at all. It was like rough, and it was hard,
797
00:35:16.679 --> 00:35:18.760
and life was hard, and it was necessary to do
798
00:35:18.800 --> 00:35:20.719
that to keep everyone safe and to keep food on
799
00:35:20.760 --> 00:35:23.760
the table. And that's just not the case anymore, that
800
00:35:23.760 --> 00:35:27.039
that world has moved on and people holding on to
801
00:35:27.159 --> 00:35:30.679
that idea of masculinity are just becoming dinosaurs. You're behind
802
00:35:30.719 --> 00:35:33.719
and what you're doing is like less than masculine because
803
00:35:33.719 --> 00:35:37.280
you're actually not providing. You're not providing emotional stability for anyone.
804
00:35:37.320 --> 00:35:39.440
You're not providing the things that your family or your
805
00:35:39.440 --> 00:35:42.639
loved ones need. You're holding everyone back. So it's like answer,
806
00:35:42.719 --> 00:35:46.320
even the thing that you think you're doing, you're not doing.
807
00:35:46.400 --> 00:35:49.960
Oh buddy, you want to preach some truth into the world,
808
00:35:50.559 --> 00:35:53.440
you just bring that torch down from the mountain and
809
00:35:53.480 --> 00:35:56.119
make sure everybody warmed themselves in the light of it.
810
00:35:56.639 --> 00:35:59.480
You are not providing if you are operating on an
811
00:35:59.519 --> 00:36:06.119
antique system of masculinity. Holy shit, beautifully said. And the
812
00:36:06.199 --> 00:36:08.239
fact that you equated what we're trying to do here
813
00:36:08.239 --> 00:36:10.800
at Radical Joy with that is a huge compliment. Thank
814
00:36:10.840 --> 00:36:11.400
you for that.
815
00:36:11.519 --> 00:36:14.079
And I just absolutely yeah. So it comes through loud
816
00:36:14.119 --> 00:36:14.400
and clear.
817
00:36:15.559 --> 00:36:19.199
Man. Oh, I might just have to jump up and
818
00:36:19.239 --> 00:36:23.119
down a little bit like that. That's some Hugh jumping
819
00:36:23.199 --> 00:36:27.440
good stuff right there. I just the fact of the
820
00:36:27.440 --> 00:36:29.440
matter remains that I have no doubt in my mind
821
00:36:29.480 --> 00:36:33.760
that good father figures, good men, good husbands, good partners,
822
00:36:33.840 --> 00:36:37.480
good people in general want to make sure that that's
823
00:36:37.519 --> 00:36:39.920
what they're doing, is that they're providing for whoever else
824
00:36:39.960 --> 00:36:41.920
is in their lives, for themselves and this kind of thing.
825
00:36:42.440 --> 00:36:44.559
If you continue to focus on something that is no
826
00:36:44.679 --> 00:36:48.000
longer of service to you, to the community at large,
827
00:36:48.000 --> 00:36:51.559
to your tribe, you are not doing You're not fulfilling
828
00:36:51.599 --> 00:36:52.880
your part of the social contract.
829
00:36:53.559 --> 00:36:56.440
Yeah. Wow, there's this big part of it that like,
830
00:36:56.800 --> 00:37:00.000
and you know, how to provide is changing. The world
831
00:37:00.159 --> 00:37:01.880
is changing, and so I get that, but I think
832
00:37:01.880 --> 00:37:05.280
that there's this fear, especially in this like very large
833
00:37:05.719 --> 00:37:07.159
kind of and I just can't help but think of
834
00:37:07.199 --> 00:37:10.760
it as regressive kind of stuck thinking where the narrative
835
00:37:10.840 --> 00:37:13.719
is not becoming men don't have to provide or you know,
836
00:37:13.800 --> 00:37:16.960
men don't need to or like it's it's not antiquated
837
00:37:17.000 --> 00:37:19.079
to think that you want to provide what you have
838
00:37:19.119 --> 00:37:21.440
to what the antiuated part is how to provide? You know,
839
00:37:21.519 --> 00:37:23.639
like you got to catch up, you know, like it's
840
00:37:23.960 --> 00:37:26.800
the world is not it's not all just ranchers, and
841
00:37:26.920 --> 00:37:29.480
you know, it's not fighting wars with muskets anymore. Things
842
00:37:29.480 --> 00:37:31.280
have changed, like you got to keep up with what
843
00:37:31.360 --> 00:37:34.239
how to provide. That's what I think is getting missed,
844
00:37:34.280 --> 00:37:37.719
and it becomes this like false narrative of like, oh,
845
00:37:37.840 --> 00:37:41.320
all these progressive thinking men don't want to provide. That's
846
00:37:41.639 --> 00:37:43.000
that might be true for some people, that is not
847
00:37:43.000 --> 00:37:45.639
true for me. I want to do everything I can
848
00:37:45.719 --> 00:37:48.360
to provide for and protect my family. I just have
849
00:37:48.400 --> 00:37:50.760
to be aware of what that means and how to
850
00:37:50.880 --> 00:37:53.840
best do that. And that doesn't mean working a nine.
851
00:37:53.880 --> 00:37:55.000
It doesn't you know, it doesn't mean the things. It
852
00:37:55.000 --> 00:37:56.400
doesn't mean the things that it used to mean, doesn't
853
00:37:56.440 --> 00:37:58.559
mean farm in the land, doesn't mean whatever. You know,
854
00:37:58.840 --> 00:38:00.920
there's plenty of things that it doesn't mean. For me,
855
00:38:01.199 --> 00:38:06.719
it means being an emotional modeling the emotional connection and
856
00:38:06.760 --> 00:38:08.960
trying to be mindful and let them see how that
857
00:38:09.000 --> 00:38:11.320
I make mistakes and and find a way to make
858
00:38:11.360 --> 00:38:13.840
money and provide food and you know, be a place
859
00:38:13.840 --> 00:38:17.280
of protection and security. But that it's there's just so
860
00:38:17.360 --> 00:38:20.440
much antiquated nonsense that goes with it, that that builds
861
00:38:20.440 --> 00:38:23.719
that anger again, that resentment, and it just that snowballs
862
00:38:24.000 --> 00:38:27.559
into a place that at best stays stuck and at
863
00:38:27.559 --> 00:38:28.800
worst is super dangerous.
864
00:38:29.239 --> 00:38:32.519
Yes, because they wonder. I know, they must like, why
865
00:38:32.599 --> 00:38:34.920
is this not working? It worked for Da, work for Grandpa?
866
00:38:35.039 --> 00:38:37.199
Why is this not working for me? Because we don't
867
00:38:37.239 --> 00:38:40.119
live there. That's not who we are anymore, that's not
868
00:38:40.199 --> 00:38:42.960
our society any longer. And quite frankly, stuff that they
869
00:38:42.960 --> 00:38:45.039
were doing then wasn't necessarily the best for all of
870
00:38:45.119 --> 00:38:46.239
us coming up either.
871
00:38:46.480 --> 00:38:50.840
Right right there, There have been things that absolutely we've
872
00:38:50.840 --> 00:38:52.599
improved on those that there are some things we've learned,
873
00:38:52.639 --> 00:38:55.719
and and you know that I think is fair that
874
00:38:55.800 --> 00:38:59.320
hopefully that's true for every generation. I hope that tom
875
00:38:59.360 --> 00:39:00.880
My best friend, Tom said to me one time that
876
00:39:01.159 --> 00:39:05.239
he said that he thinks that I'm a He's he's
877
00:39:05.239 --> 00:39:07.280
confident that I'm a good dad because I worry about it,
878
00:39:07.320 --> 00:39:09.559
because I do worry, like am I how much am
879
00:39:09.559 --> 00:39:11.199
I messing them up? You know, like what is the
880
00:39:11.440 --> 00:39:13.800
you know, what am I doing wrong? And he said
881
00:39:14.320 --> 00:39:17.239
that he thinks just watching my life that someday that
882
00:39:17.239 --> 00:39:19.880
it will be There's there's guarantee things that I'm getting wrong.
883
00:39:19.920 --> 00:39:23.599
There's guarantee things that they're gonna I will pay providing
884
00:39:23.639 --> 00:39:25.840
their therapist with a new car at some point down
885
00:39:25.840 --> 00:39:29.920
the road. You know, but but the thing that I
886
00:39:29.960 --> 00:39:33.000
am building now is the because of this ability to
887
00:39:33.079 --> 00:39:34.760
know that I'm wrong and to be able to accept
888
00:39:34.800 --> 00:39:37.039
it that when my kids come to me and they say,
889
00:39:37.519 --> 00:39:39.800
this is where you hurt us, this is what we
890
00:39:40.079 --> 00:39:41.880
you know, these are the things that whatever whatever that
891
00:39:42.039 --> 00:39:44.639
any complaints, any truths that they have, that I can
892
00:39:44.800 --> 00:39:47.639
hear it, and I think that there's a big that's
893
00:39:47.639 --> 00:39:49.559
such a big step. That's the thing that is a struggle,
894
00:39:49.599 --> 00:39:51.480
I think for when often when you look up a
895
00:39:51.519 --> 00:39:54.239
generation and you say like, hey, I'm gonna do this
896
00:39:54.239 --> 00:39:55.840
differently because actually I don't like the way that you
897
00:39:55.840 --> 00:39:57.679
did this, and some of it is like the way
898
00:39:57.719 --> 00:40:00.000
you did it for that time is great. Times have change.
899
00:40:00.440 --> 00:40:02.079
Some of it is like we've learned more and we
900
00:40:02.079 --> 00:40:04.039
actually can do it better now. And to be able
901
00:40:04.079 --> 00:40:06.119
to hear that and or even if it's not better,
902
00:40:06.159 --> 00:40:08.800
go personally, this hurt me. This is what I took
903
00:40:08.800 --> 00:40:10.400
away from that, whether you meant it this way or not,
904
00:40:10.480 --> 00:40:12.440
this is what I took from it. And to be
905
00:40:12.480 --> 00:40:15.599
able to hear that is my That's kind of like
906
00:40:15.639 --> 00:40:17.559
the goal I'm building toward. And a lot of this,
907
00:40:18.039 --> 00:40:19.440
a lot of this, like what I'm doing now to
908
00:40:19.440 --> 00:40:21.119
be in the moment but also prepare for the future.
909
00:40:21.239 --> 00:40:24.840
Is like to know that someday, someday, my kids are
910
00:40:24.840 --> 00:40:27.440
going to have fully formed ideas of things that I
911
00:40:27.440 --> 00:40:29.440
did wrong in ways that I harmed them, and I
912
00:40:29.480 --> 00:40:31.639
want to be able to hear that and go, I'm
913
00:40:31.679 --> 00:40:34.760
so sorry. Let's let's look at how we move forward
914
00:40:34.760 --> 00:40:35.480
from here, you know.
915
00:40:37.039 --> 00:40:39.519
And that's how you keep content. That's how you keep
916
00:40:39.760 --> 00:40:42.199
everybody in your life at all times. Because there comes
917
00:40:42.199 --> 00:40:43.960
a time in a child's life whenever they become an
918
00:40:43.960 --> 00:40:47.159
adult and they realize that their parents were probably just
919
00:40:47.239 --> 00:40:49.239
kids whenever they started out or they were young adults
920
00:40:49.280 --> 00:40:50.639
and they were just trying to figure it out, and
921
00:40:50.679 --> 00:40:52.760
I know they had every good intention in the world.
922
00:40:53.239 --> 00:40:54.400
There were a lot of things that were working on
923
00:40:54.400 --> 00:40:56.599
the outside too, So it's like, okay, great. Do they
924
00:40:56.599 --> 00:40:58.760
continue to grow and evolved, they continue to learn and
925
00:40:58.800 --> 00:41:00.599
try to do better and make sure that the most
926
00:41:00.679 --> 00:41:02.960
important thing in their lives are the kids that they
927
00:41:03.000 --> 00:41:05.119
brought into it. You know, no matter how old they
928
00:41:05.159 --> 00:41:07.559
may be, no matter how accomplished or how incredible they
929
00:41:07.920 --> 00:41:10.400
you know, the kind of people they grow into, they're
930
00:41:10.440 --> 00:41:12.719
always going to be a part of them always going
931
00:41:12.760 --> 00:41:14.519
to be part of them. That is your baby, that's
932
00:41:14.800 --> 00:41:17.840
your little one, and it's always making sure that that
933
00:41:17.880 --> 00:41:20.320
path is clear and that if they find something in
934
00:41:20.360 --> 00:41:23.239
it that you could help them either remove the obstacle
935
00:41:23.360 --> 00:41:24.519
or just kind of like slide it over to the
936
00:41:24.559 --> 00:41:28.199
side as best you can. I think it's wonderful that
937
00:41:28.360 --> 00:41:30.719
you want to continue to do that work and that
938
00:41:30.760 --> 00:41:33.079
they see it because you're like, you know, I promise
939
00:41:33.079 --> 00:41:34.599
you it's not an excuse. You're just to me saying
940
00:41:35.039 --> 00:41:37.119
we were doing the best we could and I'm so
941
00:41:37.159 --> 00:41:39.280
sorry it turned out that way. Where do we go
942
00:41:39.360 --> 00:41:41.719
from here? I love that idea.
943
00:41:41.960 --> 00:41:44.039
Yeah, I mean, you're absolutely right. The thing the most
944
00:41:44.039 --> 00:41:46.480
important thing to me is that my kids, you know,
945
00:41:46.800 --> 00:41:49.159
and they're they're little, so sometimes I have to not
946
00:41:49.280 --> 00:41:52.880
judge myself but also recognize, like I'm being absolutely triggered
947
00:41:52.920 --> 00:41:54.599
by a six year old right now, Like I need
948
00:41:54.599 --> 00:41:57.079
to not be in that headspace. That's not a great
949
00:41:57.079 --> 00:41:58.960
place for me to be. I'm a grown ass man.
950
00:41:59.039 --> 00:42:02.599
I do not need to be absolutely owned by a
951
00:42:02.639 --> 00:42:07.079
six year old right now. But but but when that happens,
952
00:42:07.119 --> 00:42:10.360
you know, it's it's coming to the other side. Doctor.
953
00:42:10.400 --> 00:42:12.760
I can tell a quick story about exactly this, if
954
00:42:12.760 --> 00:42:14.559
you don't mind. We were at an indoor water park
955
00:42:14.599 --> 00:42:17.880
not too long ago, and it was lovely. It was
956
00:42:17.880 --> 00:42:20.360
a lot of fun. But my son, Caleb, he loves
957
00:42:20.400 --> 00:42:22.639
scary stuff. He loves scary movies, he loves monsters, he
958
00:42:22.719 --> 00:42:24.719
loves you know, all like that kind of thing. But
959
00:42:24.760 --> 00:42:27.599
he does not like roller coasters are fast rides. And
960
00:42:27.719 --> 00:42:29.199
I really thought that he would because he's kind of
961
00:42:29.199 --> 00:42:32.079
a daredevil otherwise. But after a couple of roller coasters
962
00:42:32.079 --> 00:42:33.480
and a couple of water slides, he was like, I
963
00:42:33.480 --> 00:42:35.360
don't want this anymore. So we're at this water park
964
00:42:35.639 --> 00:42:38.880
and there was this big, tall, like group water slide.
965
00:42:38.920 --> 00:42:40.559
So there's like you can get like six people in
966
00:42:40.599 --> 00:42:43.000
the raft. So we're thinking, can't be that fast. There's
967
00:42:43.039 --> 00:42:45.079
kids of going on this like it's tall and big,
968
00:42:45.480 --> 00:42:47.679
but like, let's we can all do it, And so
969
00:42:47.760 --> 00:42:49.199
he was with us, but he didn't want to. He
970
00:42:49.239 --> 00:42:50.960
gets up there, walking up all these stairs, all these stairs,
971
00:42:50.960 --> 00:42:52.480
all these stairs, walking up there, and the closer we
972
00:42:52.519 --> 00:42:54.519
get to the top, the more upset he starts getting it.
973
00:42:54.559 --> 00:42:56.920
By the time we get to the top, he's losing it.
974
00:42:56.960 --> 00:43:00.079
He's losing it, and I was mad. I was that
975
00:43:00.119 --> 00:43:01.559
we stood in this line this long. I was mad
976
00:43:01.559 --> 00:43:03.280
that he can't get this on, he can't get his
977
00:43:03.280 --> 00:43:05.000
head around this. I'm matter that he can't trust me
978
00:43:05.079 --> 00:43:06.239
right now for this, Like I'm mad. So I was like,
979
00:43:06.280 --> 00:43:07.960
all right, fine, let's go, let's go down. I want
980
00:43:07.960 --> 00:43:10.039
you don't have to do this, but I'm so I'm mad,
981
00:43:10.079 --> 00:43:12.079
And I'm marching back down the steps and I kind
982
00:43:12.079 --> 00:43:13.599
of like left him by. He's walking behind me, but
983
00:43:13.639 --> 00:43:15.119
I'm not like walking with him because I'm mad. And
984
00:43:15.159 --> 00:43:17.519
we get down to the bottom, I'm like, come on,
985
00:43:17.599 --> 00:43:18.840
we're gonna have to go. We're gonna go wait for
986
00:43:18.880 --> 00:43:20.119
them over here where they get off the slie when
987
00:43:20.119 --> 00:43:21.679
they come down the sloe. We're gonna wait from over here.
988
00:43:22.000 --> 00:43:25.119
And he's bawling and it just goes Dad. I thought
989
00:43:25.119 --> 00:43:27.760
this was supposed to be fun. And I was like,
990
00:43:27.800 --> 00:43:32.199
oh man, okay, okay, okay, Like whatever emotions I had
991
00:43:32.199 --> 00:43:35.400
built up and whatever, whatever, you know, stuff that got
992
00:43:35.400 --> 00:43:37.639
me to that point, whatever it was, and it was nonsense.
993
00:43:37.679 --> 00:43:40.559
It was it was you know, whatever, impatience or you know,
994
00:43:40.639 --> 00:43:43.519
any number of things. But the moment that he said that,
995
00:43:43.559 --> 00:43:46.039
and I realized how sad that he was because he
996
00:43:46.079 --> 00:43:49.599
felt like I was betraying him or abandoning him or
997
00:43:49.639 --> 00:43:51.800
not like not hearing him in this moment and not
998
00:43:51.880 --> 00:43:53.920
accepting what he needed in this moment. And it just
999
00:43:54.000 --> 00:43:55.880
like ripped all the way through me. And I just
1000
00:43:55.920 --> 00:43:57.599
picked him up and I said, you're right, man, I'm
1001
00:43:57.599 --> 00:44:00.679
so sorry. I was. I was mad, and I don't
1002
00:44:00.719 --> 00:44:02.400
want to I don't say gaslight because I don't know
1003
00:44:02.400 --> 00:44:03.599
what that means, but like I don't want to convince.
1004
00:44:03.639 --> 00:44:05.000
I don't want you to tell you that I'm not mad.
1005
00:44:05.079 --> 00:44:06.559
I was mad, but I did not have a good
1006
00:44:06.599 --> 00:44:08.280
reason to be mad. Man, I just was worked up,
1007
00:44:08.519 --> 00:44:10.840
and I'm so sorry. I wanted to make sure that
1008
00:44:10.960 --> 00:44:13.320
you know that you are the most important thing to me,
1009
00:44:13.599 --> 00:44:15.480
and you and your sister are the most important things
1010
00:44:15.480 --> 00:44:17.840
in my life. And I am so sorry that I
1011
00:44:17.880 --> 00:44:20.559
made you feel anything else. And you're right, man, this
1012
00:44:20.639 --> 00:44:22.800
is supposed to be fun here. If you don't do
1013
00:44:22.840 --> 00:44:24.599
If you don't do slides, we don't just slides. I
1014
00:44:24.639 --> 00:44:26.360
would love it if at some point you wanted to try.
1015
00:44:26.440 --> 00:44:29.079
If you don't ever want to try, fine, you don't
1016
00:44:29.079 --> 00:44:31.199
do slides. I love you and I'm sorry that it
1017
00:44:31.239 --> 00:44:33.960
ever made you feel otherwise about that. And to me,
1018
00:44:34.000 --> 00:44:35.159
that was like, I mean, it was a it was
1019
00:44:35.199 --> 00:44:37.639
a hard moment to come through myself, to realize, like,
1020
00:44:37.679 --> 00:44:40.360
oh man, I was being a total that was awful
1021
00:44:40.400 --> 00:44:42.599
of me. That was I mean, I had him miserable.
1022
00:44:43.599 --> 00:44:45.599
But to be able to say, all right, I always
1023
00:44:45.639 --> 00:44:48.119
being miserable, I'm sorry I made you miserable. I'm sorry.
1024
00:44:48.639 --> 00:44:50.519
I'm so sorry I came across like that. I want
1025
00:44:50.519 --> 00:44:52.719
to work my hardest to not do that because you
1026
00:44:52.760 --> 00:44:54.280
are so important to me. I love you so much,
1027
00:44:54.800 --> 00:44:57.199
and you know, we got through it. It was you know,
1028
00:44:58.360 --> 00:45:00.280
he might he might be in therapy some day, say,
1029
00:45:00.320 --> 00:45:01.639
and my dad yelled a because I wouldn't go on
1030
00:45:01.639 --> 00:45:03.440
a slide, and it changed everything about me. I've never
1031
00:45:03.440 --> 00:45:04.760
been able to be the same. I don't know, but
1032
00:45:05.360 --> 00:45:06.280
hopefully we came through it.
1033
00:45:06.280 --> 00:45:08.320
Okay, Well, what a moment is you remembers the thing
1034
00:45:08.360 --> 00:45:10.239
after the fact, whenever you're like picking them up and
1035
00:45:10.360 --> 00:45:13.760
like hey, yeah, yeah, got out of hand. I'm sorry.
1036
00:45:14.079 --> 00:45:15.760
And that's the thing, like, I don't I don't think
1037
00:45:15.800 --> 00:45:17.719
a lot of people understand that whenever you say those
1038
00:45:17.760 --> 00:45:20.519
kind of things, especially to a little teeny tiny like
1039
00:45:20.559 --> 00:45:23.079
that hits hard, that hits deep. It's saying, you know,
1040
00:45:23.239 --> 00:45:26.639
I also make mistakes. You know, Yes, I am the authority.
1041
00:45:26.679 --> 00:45:28.519
I'm here to make sure that you grow up in
1042
00:45:28.519 --> 00:45:30.239
a certain way and that you're protected and you're well
1043
00:45:30.239 --> 00:45:33.360
provided for. And I am not perfect. What I am
1044
00:45:33.440 --> 00:45:35.199
is just a guy that's got, you know, a job
1045
00:45:35.280 --> 00:45:37.199
to make sure that all of you eat and sleep
1046
00:45:37.239 --> 00:45:39.000
on time. And this kind of thing is said, and
1047
00:45:39.079 --> 00:45:41.440
I still make mistakes. And when I do that, it's
1048
00:45:41.480 --> 00:45:44.119
important that you see it, even at a young and
1049
00:45:44.159 --> 00:45:47.559
tender that I do. And I'm going to do my
1050
00:45:47.679 --> 00:45:50.360
best to be different about it in the future, so
1051
00:45:50.440 --> 00:45:52.679
I don't do these kind of things. Amazing.
1052
00:45:54.480 --> 00:45:55.880
Yeah, I mean it's the best I can do, because
1053
00:45:56.320 --> 00:45:58.599
you know I can't. I mean, as we move forward,
1054
00:45:58.599 --> 00:46:02.239
hopefully I can stop those the first step sooner, I
1055
00:46:02.280 --> 00:46:05.400
can stop the emotional reaction. I can. I can work
1056
00:46:05.400 --> 00:46:07.440
on that. But while I'm working on that, the least
1057
00:46:07.480 --> 00:46:10.320
I can do is let them see really try to
1058
00:46:10.360 --> 00:46:12.400
drive home like, yes, I'm human, Yes I screw up,
1059
00:46:12.480 --> 00:46:16.599
but we all make poor choices, we all make mistakes.
1060
00:46:16.639 --> 00:46:19.639
Those things happen at you are what's important to me.
1061
00:46:19.760 --> 00:46:22.679
I you know, loving you is more important than anything else.
1062
00:46:22.800 --> 00:46:26.400
So you know that's again the best I can do
1063
00:46:26.440 --> 00:46:29.320
is model how to come through the rupture and repair
1064
00:46:29.360 --> 00:46:30.760
of it all. You know, like the rupture is going
1065
00:46:30.800 --> 00:46:34.400
to happen, but being able to acknowledge it for me
1066
00:46:34.719 --> 00:46:38.639
is a very important step in the repair. So all right,
1067
00:46:38.960 --> 00:46:42.320
because the other thing is, like they've taught me a
1068
00:46:42.360 --> 00:46:44.280
lot about like I said earlier in my tone, when
1069
00:46:44.360 --> 00:46:46.039
they'll you know, they'll be like, my son will be
1070
00:46:46.079 --> 00:46:47.159
like that, are you mad at me? I'm like, no,
1071
00:46:47.280 --> 00:46:48.679
I'm mad at you right now. Like oh, I do
1072
00:46:48.840 --> 00:46:51.920
sound very mad right now, Like yeah, okay, So I
1073
00:46:51.920 --> 00:46:53.880
don't want to make you feel crazy, Like yeah, you're right,
1074
00:46:53.920 --> 00:46:55.760
I was mad. I didn't deserve to be. That was
1075
00:46:55.760 --> 00:46:57.559
a silly thing they mad about. You're right. So when
1076
00:46:57.599 --> 00:46:59.400
I say I'm not mad because I'm embarrassed that I
1077
00:46:59.480 --> 00:47:02.119
was mad, but but yes I was. I was mad
1078
00:47:02.159 --> 00:47:05.480
about that. Thank you for noticing and wondering why I am.
1079
00:47:05.599 --> 00:47:07.199
And now that I thought about it, you're right, that
1080
00:47:07.280 --> 00:47:10.440
was an overreaction. So let's where I'll work on my reaction.
1081
00:47:10.519 --> 00:47:12.559
Daddy has big feelings too, and I work on that.
1082
00:47:12.639 --> 00:47:12.920
You know.
1083
00:47:15.000 --> 00:47:17.239
That's it. And now do you and Tom talk about
1084
00:47:17.239 --> 00:47:18.280
a lot of these kind of things as well, like
1085
00:47:18.280 --> 00:47:20.559
a lot of parenthood or do you like sort of
1086
00:47:20.639 --> 00:47:23.400
like meander around a lot of these kind of things
1087
00:47:23.400 --> 00:47:23.880
like what's faking?
1088
00:47:24.679 --> 00:47:27.360
It's really funny. Yeah, all of the above me meander.
1089
00:47:27.440 --> 00:47:30.440
I'm I'm just as adhd as they get. And my
1090
00:47:30.599 --> 00:47:33.199
brain is a meander, you know. But Tom is much
1091
00:47:33.199 --> 00:47:36.360
more uh type A. And so he loves an outline,
1092
00:47:36.559 --> 00:47:38.079
and so we have an outline every week, and he
1093
00:47:38.199 --> 00:47:41.480
loves a time, a time to segment for each section
1094
00:47:41.519 --> 00:47:43.679
of the outline, and he will keep us on point
1095
00:47:43.719 --> 00:47:46.239
and trying to move us through and I'm rambling about
1096
00:47:46.239 --> 00:47:48.360
who knows what I spent I don't know, six minutes
1097
00:47:48.360 --> 00:47:50.159
talking about one scene from the show Plury of Us
1098
00:47:50.199 --> 00:47:51.800
last week, and I was like, I'm probably not probably
1099
00:47:51.840 --> 00:47:53.599
probably wasn't necessary, but it was, you know, I want
1100
00:47:53.639 --> 00:47:54.199
to talk about it.
1101
00:47:54.079 --> 00:47:57.840
It was great there out there right now.
1102
00:47:57.920 --> 00:48:00.400
Yeah, for sure, there's some good TV, for sure, great
1103
00:48:00.400 --> 00:48:03.920
programming out there. And we we have kind of a
1104
00:48:04.559 --> 00:48:07.440
the main the meat and potatoes of our podcast is
1105
00:48:07.440 --> 00:48:10.320
a section called Vulnerabros where we just kind of pick
1106
00:48:10.320 --> 00:48:12.599
a topic. Yeah, it could be any of this, So
1107
00:48:12.639 --> 00:48:14.280
it's you know, if it's if it's a if it's
1108
00:48:14.320 --> 00:48:15.840
a parenting thing. We look at all sides of it.
1109
00:48:15.840 --> 00:48:17.079
We look at what it was like when we were
1110
00:48:17.159 --> 00:48:19.159
kids dealing with these things. We look at what it's
1111
00:48:19.159 --> 00:48:22.079
like now, you know, if I'm dealing with the kids,
1112
00:48:22.119 --> 00:48:25.360
he doesn't have, you know, kids, So all of it.
1113
00:48:25.400 --> 00:48:28.760
That section is just like going back again because I
1114
00:48:28.760 --> 00:48:30.840
can never say this enough, Like neither of us are
1115
00:48:30.840 --> 00:48:32.960
experts on anything. So we have a political section. We'll
1116
00:48:32.960 --> 00:48:35.800
talk about current events, We'll talk about politics real quick,
1117
00:48:35.840 --> 00:48:37.719
kind of in and out, just to say, like one
1118
00:48:37.760 --> 00:48:39.360
thing that's important to both of us is like we
1119
00:48:39.400 --> 00:48:41.119
are aware. We're not kind of like, you know, we're
1120
00:48:41.159 --> 00:48:43.239
not gonna live there. We're not gonna We're not we're
1121
00:48:43.280 --> 00:48:45.800
not political experts. We're not I'm not an economist, you know,
1122
00:48:45.840 --> 00:48:48.280
I don't know, but I have thoughts on it. I'm
1123
00:48:48.320 --> 00:48:50.519
paying attention to what's going on out there, and especially
1124
00:48:50.519 --> 00:48:52.079
because now I do think a lot of it's bonkers
1125
00:48:52.079 --> 00:48:53.960
these days, We're going to talk about it. We're gonna
1126
00:48:54.000 --> 00:48:55.519
say it. We're gonna make sure that the people that
1127
00:48:55.559 --> 00:48:58.039
pay attention to us also know a little bit about
1128
00:48:58.039 --> 00:49:00.760
what's going on, and then we're going to talk about
1129
00:49:00.800 --> 00:49:03.519
our perspective on things and talking about our feelings. And
1130
00:49:03.559 --> 00:49:05.239
I think the best we can do is model that
1131
00:49:05.280 --> 00:49:08.559
we are, you know, we're grown men in a time
1132
00:49:08.559 --> 00:49:11.079
when it does feel like it's hard to have male friendships,
1133
00:49:11.079 --> 00:49:13.159
and across the country it seems like that is a
1134
00:49:13.199 --> 00:49:16.280
difficult people are having difficulty with that for whatever reason,
1135
00:49:16.400 --> 00:49:18.400
you know. And I'm again, I don't know how many
1136
00:49:18.400 --> 00:49:19.920
times I'm gonna say it on here, not an expert,
1137
00:49:19.960 --> 00:49:21.760
I don't know exactly why that's happening. You can break
1138
00:49:21.800 --> 00:49:24.800
down lots of different anthropological reasons that's happening or whatever.
1139
00:49:24.840 --> 00:49:27.760
But all I know is like, I have men in
1140
00:49:27.800 --> 00:49:31.199
my life that I love. You know, we're a nocean apart,
1141
00:49:31.199 --> 00:49:32.440
but I love when I get to talk to you.
1142
00:49:32.719 --> 00:49:34.360
I love that Tom, I love the Sean's in my life.
1143
00:49:34.400 --> 00:49:36.719
We're gonna see him next week. I guess it'll be
1144
00:49:36.800 --> 00:49:38.400
a few weeks previous by the time this comes out,
1145
00:49:38.400 --> 00:49:40.320
But like, I love the men in my life. And
1146
00:49:41.000 --> 00:49:43.480
the main point for me of the podcast, of having
1147
00:49:43.480 --> 00:49:47.000
that podcast is to show that it's possible to have adult,
1148
00:49:47.199 --> 00:49:51.360
healthy male relationships that are vulnerable that can be silly
1149
00:49:51.400 --> 00:49:55.840
and fun and also insightful and just like not so
1150
00:49:55.960 --> 00:49:56.920
scared and regressive.
1151
00:49:56.960 --> 00:49:59.800
I guess you know, yeah, no, if I could not
1152
00:49:59.840 --> 00:50:02.119
have more, because that's just one of those things. Like
1153
00:50:02.119 --> 00:50:03.480
I look around and see the guys in my life,
1154
00:50:03.480 --> 00:50:06.480
I'm like, wow, like knocking it out of the park.
1155
00:50:06.599 --> 00:50:10.800
They're successful in their own rights. Like individually, they're incredible friends,
1156
00:50:10.840 --> 00:50:12.559
and whenever we all get together, they make some of
1157
00:50:12.559 --> 00:50:15.679
the strongest bonds between men that I know. Whenever I
1158
00:50:15.679 --> 00:50:18.519
got something like serious, that vulnerability and I have to
1159
00:50:18.559 --> 00:50:20.400
slow down when I say that because I always trip
1160
00:50:20.440 --> 00:50:21.800
over it. I'm like tongue no, no, no, no, no, no.
1161
00:50:22.719 --> 00:50:26.280
That vulnerability is something that is not easy to come by.
1162
00:50:26.800 --> 00:50:29.280
So many people are nervous because, soph you want to
1163
00:50:29.320 --> 00:50:32.760
be first, and even at first, there's no guarantee that
1164
00:50:32.760 --> 00:50:34.880
somebody's gonna be there to catch you without poking fun
1165
00:50:34.920 --> 00:50:37.199
at you or finding that really delicate spot and just
1166
00:50:37.280 --> 00:50:39.159
kind of jamming a pointer finger in it.
1167
00:50:39.480 --> 00:50:41.760
Okay, that's the problem with putting it out there, is
1168
00:50:41.760 --> 00:50:44.440
you're putting it out there, like you you know, then
1169
00:50:44.519 --> 00:50:46.480
then yeah, then those things are available. Those things are
1170
00:50:46.480 --> 00:50:49.159
available to be used against you, and you have to
1171
00:50:49.199 --> 00:50:52.159
have the strength to say like, all right, yeah, that's
1172
00:50:52.199 --> 00:50:53.920
that's true about me, So you can't really hurt me
1173
00:50:53.920 --> 00:50:55.960
with my own truth because this, yeah, the thing you're
1174
00:50:55.960 --> 00:50:59.679
saying is true. Right, I'm the one who told you
1175
00:50:59.719 --> 00:51:01.400
I am mited it. You now you're going to use
1176
00:51:01.400 --> 00:51:03.719
it against me. You can't because all the only thing
1177
00:51:03.719 --> 00:51:05.920
you're doing is telling me a thing that I know
1178
00:51:06.000 --> 00:51:06.320
is true.
1179
00:51:07.239 --> 00:51:11.840
Yeah yep, man, that that that gets in my soft
1180
00:51:11.880 --> 00:51:15.239
and tenders as well, that that happens. You know, it's
1181
00:51:15.280 --> 00:51:17.239
what it's. It's the way it goes. You trust somebody
1182
00:51:17.239 --> 00:51:19.360
who something that's important to you, and it's not they
1183
00:51:19.360 --> 00:51:21.039
try to hurt you with it necessarily. It's just that
1184
00:51:21.079 --> 00:51:23.360
they bring it up and because you find it hurtful
1185
00:51:23.760 --> 00:51:25.679
because it is about you and it's something that you
1186
00:51:25.719 --> 00:51:28.119
don't necessarily love, but you shared it because for some
1187
00:51:28.159 --> 00:51:29.599
reason you thought it was either going to help you
1188
00:51:29.679 --> 00:51:33.519
or be helpful to somebody else. You know, it's still tender. Yikes.
1189
00:51:33.639 --> 00:51:35.400
Well that's that I mean, that is that is what
1190
00:51:35.800 --> 00:51:37.800
that is what vulnerability is, right, I mean that's like
1191
00:51:37.840 --> 00:51:41.000
the the the root of that word. Biologically, that word
1192
00:51:41.039 --> 00:51:43.280
gets used. It's like the the vulnerable spots are the
1193
00:51:43.320 --> 00:51:46.880
ones that are that are more dangerous. They're they're they're
1194
00:51:47.079 --> 00:51:49.280
easier to hurt you because they're less protected. And so
1195
00:51:49.360 --> 00:51:50.920
you put that out there, like, yes, what you are
1196
00:51:50.960 --> 00:51:55.119
doing is giving someone the chance to hurt you. You
1197
00:51:55.159 --> 00:51:57.119
know they have now they have the ammunition to do that.
1198
00:51:57.239 --> 00:52:00.360
So again, I don't know. The other thing I guess,
1199
00:52:00.400 --> 00:52:02.320
other than saying an expert is just saying I'm in therapy.
1200
00:52:02.360 --> 00:52:03.480
I don't know how many times I've said that in
1201
00:52:03.480 --> 00:52:05.280
this but that's the thing that my therapist says all
1202
00:52:05.320 --> 00:52:07.599
the time, is you know, the strength is in the vulnerability,
1203
00:52:07.639 --> 00:52:11.039
being strong enough to show someone you're underbelly and say,
1204
00:52:11.039 --> 00:52:13.800
here's my weak spot. You can have that if you're
1205
00:52:13.800 --> 00:52:15.519
gonna mess with it, and you're gonna be you're gonna
1206
00:52:15.519 --> 00:52:17.440
you're gonna take advantage of that. I'm strong enough to
1207
00:52:17.440 --> 00:52:19.000
handle that. And I also learned not to show that
1208
00:52:19.000 --> 00:52:21.039
to you anymore. But I you know, like I I
1209
00:52:21.039 --> 00:52:23.119
can put it out there and I can handle whatever
1210
00:52:23.199 --> 00:52:23.760
comes from that.
1211
00:52:24.880 --> 00:52:29.239
Ideally, you know, ideally, no that that's a really good point. Man.
1212
00:52:29.280 --> 00:52:31.039
You came back around and qualify that real.
1213
00:52:30.960 --> 00:52:34.599
Well, yeah, yeah, like all of this, there's still ways
1214
00:52:34.639 --> 00:52:36.280
that still get screwed up. It's still get stumbled you know.
1215
00:52:36.360 --> 00:52:39.960
It's like, because man, I try to work on that thing, like,
1216
00:52:40.039 --> 00:52:41.800
oh man, is stuff thrown up? And I was like,
1217
00:52:41.840 --> 00:52:44.000
all right, all right, the pardon me thinks like that person,
1218
00:52:44.079 --> 00:52:45.599
just like you were talking about with your kids, you
1219
00:52:45.599 --> 00:52:48.519
know this erson's aren't clearly trying it on purpose to
1220
00:52:48.599 --> 00:52:50.039
hurt me. It is like, well, no, that person is
1221
00:52:50.079 --> 00:52:52.320
just trying to like make sure that you know that
1222
00:52:52.559 --> 00:52:54.159
you shared that with them before. And what you're doing
1223
00:52:54.239 --> 00:52:57.800
right now is showing that foible and so in an
1224
00:52:57.840 --> 00:53:01.800
effort to strengthen you, perhaps you would like to reflect
1225
00:53:01.800 --> 00:53:03.719
on this a little bit more before we get too
1226
00:53:03.800 --> 00:53:07.719
high and mighty okay to shay and also go piss
1227
00:53:07.800 --> 00:53:08.639
up a rope, that's right.
1228
00:53:09.760 --> 00:53:14.079
Yeah. Well it's like, you know, the the people who
1229
00:53:14.119 --> 00:53:17.159
love you, you also have to trust that like the security,
1230
00:53:17.400 --> 00:53:18.679
and that's you know, a big thing for me has
1231
00:53:18.679 --> 00:53:23.159
always been like the fear of abandonment, well founded or not.
1232
00:53:23.239 --> 00:53:24.679
That's a thing that I've dealt with, you know, plenty
1233
00:53:24.679 --> 00:53:26.320
of my life and so I, so I that's one
1234
00:53:26.320 --> 00:53:29.639
of the reasons I used to get nervous about people.
1235
00:53:29.719 --> 00:53:31.199
If people are calling me out for things I did wrong,
1236
00:53:31.239 --> 00:53:33.000
well I'll get super defensive because I don't want you
1237
00:53:33.000 --> 00:53:34.559
to see that that thing's wrong with me, because what
1238
00:53:34.599 --> 00:53:36.360
if you leave, you know, and then I got to go,
1239
00:53:36.440 --> 00:53:38.800
all right, you're not gonna leave me. I trust you,
1240
00:53:38.800 --> 00:53:41.039
I trust this, I trust that we've done here, and frankly,
1241
00:53:41.280 --> 00:53:44.119
you know, if if you do, I also trust myself.
1242
00:53:44.239 --> 00:53:47.280
I can handle hard things if you know, if we don't,
1243
00:53:47.800 --> 00:53:50.079
if I lose a friendship over this, then I don't
1244
00:53:50.159 --> 00:53:53.239
want that. But I also like, I am not so codependent.
1245
00:53:53.280 --> 00:53:55.280
I can stronger myself, and I'm strong haf in our
1246
00:53:55.320 --> 00:53:56.760
relationship that I think we're going to get through it.
1247
00:53:56.760 --> 00:54:00.599
So if you call me out, I'm not you know, ideally,
1248
00:54:00.840 --> 00:54:02.760
I'm not going to jump to defensiveness because I'm not
1249
00:54:02.760 --> 00:54:04.519
going to try to convince you that you're wrong about that.
1250
00:54:04.559 --> 00:54:07.360
I'm gonna go, oh you you could be right, all right,
1251
00:54:07.920 --> 00:54:09.360
give me a second, let me like look at this,
1252
00:54:09.480 --> 00:54:11.840
let me, you know, give me the grace to make
1253
00:54:11.840 --> 00:54:14.719
that mistake and then take a moment to you know,
1254
00:54:15.400 --> 00:54:17.480
work on it and and recognize it and fix it
1255
00:54:17.519 --> 00:54:20.039
and thank you for bringing my attention, you know, and
1256
00:54:20.079 --> 00:54:22.039
sometimes maybe they're maybe they're not, maybe they're poking, because
1257
00:54:22.519 --> 00:54:24.719
all right, that's not chill out. You're not going to
1258
00:54:24.760 --> 00:54:26.519
do that right right now. But you know you have
1259
00:54:26.599 --> 00:54:27.960
to take the moment to figure out what you want
1260
00:54:27.960 --> 00:54:29.559
it is, at least figure out how you feel about it.
1261
00:54:30.880 --> 00:54:32.559
Man, I cannot tell you how much I needed this
1262
00:54:32.639 --> 00:54:35.039
exact topic of conversation today.
1263
00:54:36.920 --> 00:54:39.840
It's yeah, man, I I was so excited. I was
1264
00:54:39.880 --> 00:54:41.800
so excited when you reach out of a comeback on.
1265
00:54:41.880 --> 00:54:43.360
I love I love talking to him, I love them
1266
00:54:43.400 --> 00:54:46.599
out and hand just just rambling, rambling, all good stuff.
1267
00:54:46.800 --> 00:54:49.159
Whenever I say that's that, that's not a week. Like
1268
00:54:49.199 --> 00:54:51.000
weak as Water attempts to sort of wrap it up,
1269
00:54:51.199 --> 00:54:53.440
it's me saying, like, I wish I could tell you
1270
00:54:53.480 --> 00:54:58.760
how valuable this conversation, exactly this conversation and topic. Being
1271
00:54:59.440 --> 00:55:02.400
willing to when you're wrong, being able to say you're sorry,
1272
00:55:02.519 --> 00:55:05.840
being a vulnerable man so that other important and valuable
1273
00:55:05.880 --> 00:55:09.079
men in your life continue to build on relationships instead
1274
00:55:09.079 --> 00:55:11.679
of walk away from friendships and those kinds of things.
1275
00:55:12.320 --> 00:55:17.400
It is universe. She always serves it in exactly the
1276
00:55:17.480 --> 00:55:19.159
time that you need it. I just did not realize
1277
00:55:19.159 --> 00:55:21.559
it was going to come in such abundant supply today
1278
00:55:21.719 --> 00:55:23.039
with you, though I should.
1279
00:55:22.800 --> 00:55:28.639
Have Well, I mean it honestly, honestly you provide it
1280
00:55:28.840 --> 00:55:30.760
on here, but also in life whenever we get to
1281
00:55:30.760 --> 00:55:35.239
hang out, it's a genuinely safe space to talk and
1282
00:55:35.239 --> 00:55:37.519
to get into whatever. And it feels good. You know,
1283
00:55:37.599 --> 00:55:39.199
like there's plenty of people that you can be around
1284
00:55:39.239 --> 00:55:42.119
that you can talk, whether in sports and you know,
1285
00:55:42.159 --> 00:55:44.000
we'll see how Alabama does in the playoffs and whatever.
1286
00:55:44.039 --> 00:55:45.639
We can talk those things. But like I guess by
1287
00:55:45.639 --> 00:55:47.000
the time this comes out, we'll know more about it.
1288
00:55:47.039 --> 00:55:48.800
But like you know, we can talk those things, sure,
1289
00:55:49.239 --> 00:55:51.280
but it feels so good to know that you're in
1290
00:55:51.280 --> 00:55:53.079
a space where like you can get down into it
1291
00:55:53.119 --> 00:55:55.199
and you can really really dig into it and get
1292
00:55:55.199 --> 00:55:56.960
close to the bone, and you know, like that that
1293
00:55:57.119 --> 00:56:00.000
just feels good to get out. So, I mean, that's
1294
00:56:00.000 --> 00:56:02.239
so I always appreciate anytime we get to do this or
1295
00:56:02.440 --> 00:56:05.119
or chat or be in the same actual same space. Irl.
1296
00:56:05.239 --> 00:56:08.559
You know, it's always it always feels so and it
1297
00:56:08.559 --> 00:56:12.320
it doesn't it doesn't take me. You know, there's I
1298
00:56:12.880 --> 00:56:14.920
used to I guess when I saw a couple years
1299
00:56:14.920 --> 00:56:16.320
ago in Vegas, they've been a watch to bee, seen
1300
00:56:16.320 --> 00:56:18.239
each other in person, and there's that that that feeling
1301
00:56:18.320 --> 00:56:20.079
of like I know, I know you, I know it's
1302
00:56:20.079 --> 00:56:21.719
gonna be. But there's like an on ramp to how
1303
00:56:21.800 --> 00:56:23.679
how much am I gonna What are we gonna do here?
1304
00:56:23.679 --> 00:56:26.119
And no, there's no OnRamp, but it's like we're right
1305
00:56:26.159 --> 00:56:27.960
into it, nine miles an hour, just all of it.
1306
00:56:28.039 --> 00:56:30.320
Just we're just gonna It feels so good to be
1307
00:56:30.360 --> 00:56:32.159
able to just like whatever, let's talk about all of it.
1308
00:56:32.239 --> 00:56:35.400
Let's let's talk about all of it.
1309
00:56:35.480 --> 00:56:37.360
If we do that over high scream Sunday, great, If
1310
00:56:37.360 --> 00:56:39.559
we did that over a giant cocktail with seventeen marked
1311
00:56:41.280 --> 00:56:43.400
also great. Like we're just gonna do whatever it is
1312
00:56:43.440 --> 00:56:45.000
we need to do to make sure we get under
1313
00:56:45.039 --> 00:56:47.760
all the nitty gritty. And I'm loving the same way.
1314
00:56:48.000 --> 00:56:49.800
Is this gonna be like a warm up situation or
1315
00:56:49.840 --> 00:56:54.000
we just gonna go? You know, I I adjust my
1316
00:56:54.159 --> 00:56:57.679
mood and speed accordingly I do. I love it so much.
1317
00:56:57.679 --> 00:57:02.000
Whenever I get among my people capital lamcare' pee, I'm like, yeah,
1318
00:57:02.039 --> 00:57:03.480
this is the kind of thing where you can just
1319
00:57:03.519 --> 00:57:05.599
cannonball right in the middle of the hard stuff. And
1320
00:57:05.639 --> 00:57:08.320
if it. If it gets into the quick, we've still
1321
00:57:08.320 --> 00:57:09.800
got a few days where we can slap some of
1322
00:57:09.880 --> 00:57:11.960
asporin on it and eventual little heel where we can
1323
00:57:12.039 --> 00:57:14.039
really hash it out some more and be okay with
1324
00:57:14.079 --> 00:57:14.800
it moving forward.
1325
00:57:14.920 --> 00:57:18.239
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it always feels good man. I love it.
1326
00:57:18.440 --> 00:57:20.280
I love it, Jay, Greg, thank you so much for
1327
00:57:20.320 --> 00:57:22.719
being with us here on Radical Joy. Brother always a pleasure.
1328
00:57:22.800 --> 00:57:24.079
All of our stuff is going to be in the
1329
00:57:24.079 --> 00:57:27.239
show notes, anything and everything, y'all. He is a joy
1330
00:57:27.320 --> 00:57:29.719
to watch on any and all of his channels. I
1331
00:57:29.800 --> 00:57:31.119
hope that you will follow and make sure that we
1332
00:57:31.199 --> 00:57:33.280
have all of that information for you in the show notes.
1333
00:57:33.679 --> 00:57:36.559
Please go over as well to brow Homo and follow
1334
00:57:36.599 --> 00:57:39.079
along with them. Make sure that you get to to
1335
00:57:39.159 --> 00:57:41.880
kind of sample the where's they're dealing over there, because
1336
00:57:41.920 --> 00:57:43.400
it isn't hoot and a half. Some of the stuff
1337
00:57:43.440 --> 00:57:46.199
they cover has me belly laughing, So to make sure
1338
00:57:46.199 --> 00:57:48.199
you get the same kind of opportunity to enjoy it.
1339
00:57:48.239 --> 00:57:49.760
See if that's the kind of thing that would really
1340
00:57:50.039 --> 00:57:53.360
put you on a cloud as well. Friends, we're always
1341
00:57:53.559 --> 00:57:55.159
so grateful that you tune in to be with us
1342
00:57:55.159 --> 00:57:57.840
here Radical Joy. If this is your first episode, welcome.
1343
00:57:58.440 --> 00:58:01.199
If this is not your first episode, welcome back. We
1344
00:58:01.239 --> 00:58:04.519
are thrilled that you are here. Welcome to the fourth
1345
00:58:04.920 --> 00:58:08.519
season of Radical Joy. That's four years that we've been
1346
00:58:08.559 --> 00:58:11.079
working on this endeavor and we are so pleased to
1347
00:58:11.119 --> 00:58:13.920
be here, and we're even more happy that you're here
1348
00:58:14.159 --> 00:58:16.639
with us. Please don't forget to like and follow. That
1349
00:58:16.760 --> 00:58:18.440
is a huge help to us here at Radical Joy
1350
00:58:18.440 --> 00:58:21.719
and SEW Studios, because we continue to try to bring
1351
00:58:21.880 --> 00:58:24.480
the kind of uplifting message and the kind of congregation
1352
00:58:25.039 --> 00:58:27.119
here to make sure that even though things may be
1353
00:58:27.199 --> 00:58:29.880
a little wonky looking, we're gonna keep working on finding
1354
00:58:29.920 --> 00:58:32.159
the very best we can in the world and focus
1355
00:58:32.199 --> 00:58:36.159
on that. Please always remember just exactly how much we
1356
00:58:36.920 --> 00:58:42.559
love y'all. This episode isn't here to fix you. It's
1357
00:58:42.599 --> 00:58:45.159
here to sit with you while things feel a little tangled,
1358
00:58:45.760 --> 00:58:47.880
to slow the pace just enough that you can hear
1359
00:58:47.920 --> 00:58:52.280
yourself think again. You don't have to solve anything today.
1360
00:58:52.360 --> 00:58:56.679
You're allowed to notice, You're allowed to rest in the
1361
00:58:56.679 --> 00:59:10.880
middle of it. We're really really glad you're here. I
1362
00:59:10.920 --> 00:59:13.199
am not a therapist or a medical professional. If you're
1363
00:59:13.239 --> 00:59:16.280
experiencing a mental health emergency, please call nine to eighty
1364
00:59:16.320 --> 00:59:20.480
eight to reach the National Crisis Lifeline. This content another
1365
00:59:20.559 --> 00:59:23.639
content produced by CLA Studios and affiliated partners, is not
1366
00:59:23.800 --> 00:59:27.480
therapy and nothing in this content indicates a therapeutic relationship.
1367
00:59:28.079 --> 00:59:30.800
Any opinions of guests on this podcast are their own
1368
00:59:30.800 --> 00:59:33.880
and do not represent the opinions of James or CLA Studios.
1369
00:59:34.320 --> 00:59:36.199
Please consult with your therapist or see what in your
1370
00:59:36.239 --> 00:59:39.760
area if you're experiencing mental health symptoms. Everything in this
1371
00:59:39.840 --> 00:59:43.639
podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes. Only have a
1372
00:59:43.679 --> 00:59:45.400
great one and we will see you next week for
1373
00:59:45.440 --> 00:59:47.119
another dose of radical joy.
1374
00:59:47.800 --> 00:59:48.360
Love y'all,