WEBVTT
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I never saw Hunger Games.
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Oh, really?
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Really?
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But I I had a major complaint with Hunger Games 1.
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What was your complaint?
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Well, you didn't see it, but I don't think this is a spoiler.
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Couldn't care.
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I mean, no, it definitely is a spoiler, actually.
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Do you care?
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I do not care.
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I do not care.
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My main issue with it is, you know, they all all these people enter the Hunger Games, and then a large portion of the movie is them training for the Hunger Games.
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And as they're training, they all become friends with each other.
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Right.
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I'm like, oh my like, I remember the first time I watched it, I was like, this is great.
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Like they're all becoming friends, and then they're gonna all have to kill each other.
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This is so tense.
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Yeah.
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It's like just kind of there's like a lot of dread.
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Like it was like great, like when they're having a good time together, there's always it's always undercut by the idea that they're all gonna have to kill each other.
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Yep.
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And then the hunger games start, and they all very conveniently figure out ways for none of them to kill each other.
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I was like, I thought this is what the movie was.
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But then I Is the book that I don't know, but but to me, it was like that was the special thing about the movie.
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Right.
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And then I tell people that, and they're like, no, you missed the point.
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I was like, oh, okay.
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We should make this episode about drinking and smoking weed and keeping kosher.
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So, but this is the question I want to pose to you.
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If someone put a if someone okay, the put a gun to your head, that's what you're gonna do.
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Well, well, I want to set it up more.
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There's a table in front of you, and there are three there are there's a cup, a plate, and another plate.
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In the cup is vodka.
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On the the first plate is uh blunt, and on the third plate is a cheeseburger.
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Someone's sticking a gun to your head in 11th grade, saying, You gotta choose one of these or I'm gonna fucking kill you.
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I know which one I like, I already know which one I would do for sure.
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Which one?
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Drinking.
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I I would I would have I would have I would have taken the vodka.
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I feel like that's easy.
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Really?
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Oh, I don't know.
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I would have definitely chosen the cheeseburger back then.
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Did you keep covered?
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But if you were yeah, if knowing doing Jake's convictions, yeah, that's the last thing he would do.
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Correct.
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And I and I do think a part of that answer is that if I knew, if my parents knew that that was the choice I had, that's the choice they would want me to make.
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I guess that's true, because right, like kids are kind of allowed to drink wine during the colour.
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Exactly.
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At least alcohol is like alcohol before the most acceptable one.
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Yeah.
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Exactly.
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Interesting.
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I mean, I definitely I mostly kept kosher in high school.
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I had I had it in my head that like if I was, if I didn't keep kosher, like something bad was gonna happen to me.
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I don't know.
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Like, even stuff like I told you I was like very sensitive about acne, right?
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But like some some weeks it would just like kind of clear up more, and some some weeks it would be terrible.
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And like I had in my head, like, oh, like if I didn't keep kosher, like God's gonna punish me more by giving me more acne.
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Wow.
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Very literal.
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That's very I remember though like parents would be so mean about it.
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Like I remember like one parent would be like would be like like about to go to a dance and be like, oh yeah, if you have sex with this girl, your acne will probably clear up.
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What trying to remember?
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You're saying very specific.
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So specific, dude.
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And who were who were you taking to the dance?
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Like, like was it like maybe it was just like it wasn't no like a general girl, like like, oh, if you fuck tonight, you'll your acne will clear up.
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It's like rather narrowed.
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Yeah, that parent should be arrested.
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I don't remember.
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But yeah, I would say like most of the time parents were like sort of the most like in a not inappropriate, and well, that is very inappropriate, but like parents would be telling me all the time to break up with Abby because like they're like, don't marry your high school girlfriend.
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This is like other parents, like just yeah, not my parents, but other parents, yeah.
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I mean, what why I as a parent now, I mean, not that I'm but you're not a good parent, you know.
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That's like a teenager's parent.
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I can't imagine being a parent of a teenager and being like, you know, would be what would be cool is if I told my son's friends that they should break up with their girlfriends.
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I mean, it yeah, I I think at the time I was like, this just comes from some sort of damage that they incurred throughout their life, and they're like trying to be like sort of a cautionary tale for me.
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But actually, that probably is true.
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I'm sure it is, yeah, but I'm sure it is.
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It's like the fuck, like no, that's messed up.
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Yeah, my barber, I remember, said that to me too.
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Your fucking barber?
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Yeah, and God, I wish I listened.
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I it that's just so it's also I feel so bad for you because I imagine you must have been very happy in telling all of these people that you were dating Abby.
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Uh, sure.
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I mean, I was very happy that I was dating Abby.
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I that's what I just said.
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No, but you said telling them.
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I don't know if I was like yelling it off a rooftop or whatever.
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But how did all these people know?
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Everyone Your barber?
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Your fucking barber just knew?
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My my mom is very popular in Pikesville, so I just feel like gossip about me like spread so quickly.
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Was she just like, have you like was she going into conversation being like, have you heard the news my son is dating Abby?
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Like, probably like probably.
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I think my parents thought I was gay for like the longest time.
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So I think they were like very excited when I started like seriously seeing a girl.
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What evidence would they have had to think that you're gay beyond just not dating anybody?
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Uh, this wasn't on an episode that you were on, but I was telling Adam how uh I think it was in ninth grade, like I sort of got into this relationship with this non-Jewish girl.
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And so you're gonna say non-Jewish guy, and then I was gonna be like, all right, well, at least we understand each other a little bit.
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And they caught me.
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So yeah, that's not why they thought we were I was gay.
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It was just the one tie, it was just the one whole relationship.
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Um yeah, I was I mean, we weren't like going out, but I was seeing her a lot, this non-Jewish girl.
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Um my parents How did you know this non-Jewish girl?
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Sorry.
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Um I think I think it was a friend of like a classmate at BT.
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But not, you know, obviously didn't go to our school, but I think she was like brought to a dance or something like that, and it was like she thinks you're cute.
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Then we started talking.
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Um goes.
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And then um, and then my parents found out, and it was like horrible at home.
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And it wasn't even like I'm gonna see her, I'm gonna date her, like you can't tell me what to do.
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I don't even think I attached that much importance to it.
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But like the fact that I even considered seeing her was like terrible to them.
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But then that they would have that doesn't support your they thought you were gay.
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Thank you, Adam.
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Thank you, Adam.
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No, no, no, so so after that happened, I just kept that whole part of my life so secret from them.
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And I think even secret from like everybody, because most of the time, like someone I don't know how it was happening.
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I know I I had a theory that Ariel was providing Josh gossip to my mom, but like any sort of like, even if I like showed even the slightest attention to some girl, like my mom would find out immediately.
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So I just really like well, you think it was her that was dishing the tea?
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I don't know.
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We talked about this with her, and I forget.
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She said maybe a little bit her, but then she also said someone else, I feel like she said because Stephanie Millicent talked to my mom a lot too, and she was also friends with a lot of girls at BT.
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So it's possibly that.
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Very interesting.
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So I was like, I last episode we were talking about how long it took me to ask Abby out, and I think that was like part of it.
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I was like, once I do, like, this is gonna become public.
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Like, I mean, in my head, I mean I know it's like whatever, it's not that many people, but it's at the time it's it seemed like a big deal.
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It was like this is unavoidable.
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Like, my parents are gonna find this out, find out about this.
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And even though Abby is Jewish, it was like it e and a woman, the fact that it even remotely resembled like them finding out about a relationship, and that was so terrible when it happened, I like didn't even want to relive like just even a fraction of that.
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So let me ask you a question, Josh.
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Yeah, let's say you're in 11th grade, and in front of you is a plate, a plate, and a bed, and it's a cheeseburger, a blunt, and a non-Jewish girl.
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Well, I don't give a shit.
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Which one would you have done?
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I'm talking about an 11th grade.
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And you have and are my parents finding out about yes, and your parents are finding out.
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So my parents are finding out that uh so when you say bed, like a bed.
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Like we're having sex.
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You're gonna have sex.
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Okay.
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Was the girl that was into you cute, like like would you like so if she had said, okay, like I want, you know, I want to go all the way, would you have done it?
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Um I don't know.
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I don't know.
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It's hard going back to my mind, like in probably, but God, it's like we force me to do that every day.
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Okay, I'm sorry.
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I'm not I'm not being like with I'm not being withholding.
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Um a little withholding.
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Well, it's not because it's something I don't want to tell you.
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It's something that I can't be like confident at my answer.
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I don't know like what my perception of sex was back then.
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So because if I was like, if I was like afraid to eat a cheeseburger because I thought something bad was gonna happen to me, what was my idea of sex back then?
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When you say your idea of sex, do you mean like literally what was it, or do you mean like what might have happened to you?
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I knew what it was.
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I don't know.
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I'm I'm trying to get clarity.
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I'm trying to think of like how big of a deal I thought of it back then.
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Like I probably thought it was a pretty big deal.
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Not as big as you thought it was.
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There's no one on earth did.
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But I'm sure I thought it was a big deal, you know?
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Sure.
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Especially with like my movie brain.
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Like there's usually you know, in movies.
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I mean, but that would have been a really cinematic way to lose your virginity.
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That's exactly right.
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I can't.
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There was probably a part of me that liked the drama of like, oh, I'm date, like I'm you know, I'm dating this girl that I'm not I wasn't dating her, but I'm seeing this girl who I'm not supposed to be seeing.
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Yeah, I mean, that's I can't think of anything more Shakespearean and how many Romeo and Juliets have been made.
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I mean, you know the most like forced no the girl thing that was the most traumatic forced Judaism thing on me.
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This you know the second most intense Adam knows this story.
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The second most uh traumatic forced Judaism thing on me was, right?
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It ended with me punching a hole in the wall.
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I don't know.
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Yeah, I know the punching, but I actually what was the reason?
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What was the Jewish part of that?
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What is that you don't know the story, Jake?
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I don't think I do.
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This was also like maybe a few months before my parents had decided like we're not no one's allowed to go out on Friday nights.
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Friday nights are for Shabbat dinner.
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While this was happening, I was in a real Seinfeld phase.
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I I'd probably at that point I'd probably seen every episode of Seinfeld.
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I this is no joke, probably three or four times.
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I had like VHS, like when Seinfeld was on.
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I remember I would set my VCR to like start recording because it would come on it.
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There was a certain point where it would come on in chunks.
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Like they would do like four episodes at one, three or four episodes.
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Sure, yes, yes.
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So I'd set my VCR to like record all those episodes, and then that week I think I would watch like that that chunk of episodes like every day.
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Amazing.
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And then Jordan Levin, one of my best friends, his dad had some connection and was like, we we have like great like front row seats to see Jerry Seinfeld live.
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And I was like, um I was like, that's amazing.
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So I tell my parents I'm invited to this, thinking like obviously they're gonna be excited, like this is awesome.
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I'm finally seeing Jerry Seinfeld.
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They're like, you can't go.
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And you know, big yelling match.
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I was I mean, I wish I had the balls to just sneak out, but I didn't back then.
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I mean, what do you think the actual repercussions would have been?
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It would have been the exact same as probably what ended up happening, which was what?
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So I got so angry that they weren't letting me go that I punched a hole in the wall.
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Like I literally ran down the basement steps, like so steaming, and boom.
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I think not thinking like I was gonna punch a hole in the wall, I just punched the thing that was closest to me.
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Right.
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And yeah, just a giant hole, and I freeze because I'm like, holy shit, what did I just do?
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Suddenly, the thing in my mind is not Seinfeld, it's how much trouble I'm gonna be in, and how can I talk my way out of this?
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So I come up with some lie.
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That was.
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I was wearing my guitar around my neck, and I swung around too fast, and the guitar neck, like the tuner part, hit the wall and put a hole in it.
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Okay.
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And I think my parents believed me for 10 minutes, and then I was just in my room fuming, and they came in and be like, we know you're lying.
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And I was like, uh, you caught me.
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And then I got grounded for I think it was a month, which just meant grounded in that I couldn't leave my house.
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Like, I couldn't make plans with anyone.
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They're like, the thing we're the most mad about you is lying.
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Mad about classic, classic.
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I feel like I would have gotten the same punishment if I just fed the hole.
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I mean, my dad, like, he he would get mad at us for touching the walls in our house because it's like your your hand oil is gonna smudge the paint.
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So it's like imagine someone who's that intense about that, and then suddenly his kid punches a hole in the wall.
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You're definitely getting a month of grounding because if you had just snuck out and had not punched a hole in the wall at all, I bet you the punishment would have been less.
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I think you're right, actually, and possibly even gotten some credit from my dad.
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That was always I agree.
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Like he would have been like, You're straight as an arrow, son.
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I guarantee you he would have said that.
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He said only a straight son would go sneak out and go see sign.
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Yeah, please tell me you also bang that that chicksa.
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Because I bet you he secretly was kind of like, I hope he does it.
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Knowing your dad.
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Do you guys remember like the first time you saw anyone drink alcohol?
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Anyone?
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You mean like a couple of things?
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No, someone from your class.
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Yeah, sorry, not like a parent or yeah.
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I just I remember um I went to the beach with Alex Simone.
00:16:37.200 --> 00:16:39.360
It's just me with his family.
00:16:39.600 --> 00:16:44.159
That was that was like always the ultimate, like like I would get it.
00:16:44.240 --> 00:16:46.159
I mean, that's like good stuff.
00:16:46.320 --> 00:16:51.519
Like when you're friends with someone and they invite you on their family vacation, did you guys ever get one of those?
00:16:51.840 --> 00:16:52.639
No, sir.
00:16:52.879 --> 00:16:54.559
It was awesome, it would happen.
00:16:54.720 --> 00:17:01.519
But um, yeah, I went to uh Alex, I went with Alex Simone to um to Bethany Beach.
00:17:02.960 --> 00:17:13.200
And we it was like after we had spent all day at the beach or whatever, and we just get back, and me and him are sharing a room, and you know, it's like twin beds.
00:17:13.440 --> 00:17:21.200
So I'm in my bed and he's in his bed, and he just like gets we're watching TV and he like gets out of his bed, goes to the fridge, breaks out a beer, and starts drinking it.
00:17:21.279 --> 00:17:30.880
It was like the first time I ever saw someone drink a beer, but it was also like we were probably like 14, and I was like, I remember I said something like, what are you like 60?
00:17:31.039 --> 00:17:34.480
Like it just felt like a real like retired guy thing to do.
00:17:36.480 --> 00:17:46.240
It was like, I feel like if you were to drink at our age, you wouldn't be doing it like just while like chilling and like he was like doing it as if he was like a guy unwinding after like trading stocks or something.
00:17:46.480 --> 00:17:49.200
I mean, that makes me feel like he was doing that a fair amount then.
00:17:49.279 --> 00:17:57.200
Like he was sort of like maybe, but or he was doing that for you and trying to play it off as like yeah, nonchalant.
00:18:00.079 --> 00:18:04.319
Did uh did Adam answer the gun to his head question?
00:18:04.559 --> 00:18:09.039
Are you taking the vodka, the blunt, or the cheeseburger?
00:18:09.200 --> 00:18:09.759
Or the cheeseburger?
00:18:11.200 --> 00:18:13.759
I in 11th grade.
00:18:14.079 --> 00:18:19.200
All right, how let's make it 10th grade because I right you said that that was sort of a transition point for you, right?
00:18:19.359 --> 00:18:20.160
11th grade?
00:18:20.319 --> 00:18:21.680
Or was it 12th grade?
00:18:21.920 --> 00:18:24.480
Oh, in terms of like I would have drank and stuff either.
00:18:24.640 --> 00:18:26.480
Yeah, I think maybe the end of 11th grade.
00:18:26.559 --> 00:18:30.799
I kind of forget, but I'm pretty sure maybe it was like 11th grade I drank.
00:18:31.039 --> 00:18:33.759
So yeah, if it was 11th grade, I yeah, I would have taken the shavaka.
00:18:34.000 --> 00:18:35.839
10th grade, I mean, maybe still the same.
00:18:36.079 --> 00:18:38.079
I forget, or the burger, I guess.
00:18:38.160 --> 00:18:38.559
I don't know.
00:18:38.799 --> 00:18:50.240
I think I was 10th grade I probably was even more serious also about kosher and like believing in some sort of god or like caring about Judaism.
00:18:51.200 --> 00:19:02.559
So maybe so maybe, yeah, I think maybe the I don't know if it's either the vodka or the hamburger, right?
00:19:02.640 --> 00:19:04.000
Yeah, I don't know which one it would have been.
00:19:04.480 --> 00:19:05.200
Well, none of us have to be.
00:19:07.440 --> 00:19:08.640
No, I no.
00:19:08.799 --> 00:19:09.839
Yeah, no.
00:19:10.400 --> 00:19:12.640
I mean, talk to me five years later.
00:19:12.799 --> 00:19:13.440
Yeah.
00:19:13.839 --> 00:19:14.880
First thing I go for.
00:19:15.119 --> 00:19:18.079
Ask the duchy on the left-hand side for Adam Wand.
00:19:21.039 --> 00:19:26.799
I mean, I honestly, I I've just I just remembered this when I was seeing that non-Jewish girl.
00:19:26.960 --> 00:19:33.039
Uh yeah, I remember Alex Simone's mom gave me because Alex Simone's dad is not Jewish.
00:19:33.279 --> 00:19:35.920
So she was like, Oh, I've dealt with this situation before.
00:19:36.079 --> 00:19:38.960
Like, she was on my side with the with the situation.
00:19:39.119 --> 00:19:41.119
This had gotten out to everybody at this point.
00:19:41.200 --> 00:19:43.279
Like everyone knew this was the situation.
00:19:43.599 --> 00:19:51.680
But it's just so fascinating that it's not that your friends are the ones that are like coaching you on stuff, it's the friends' parents that are like, no, no, friends were doing it too.
00:19:52.000 --> 00:19:53.039
Friends were doing it too.
00:19:53.359 --> 00:19:56.160
But it's but why are the parents saying anything?
00:19:56.640 --> 00:19:56.960
I don't know.
00:19:57.200 --> 00:19:57.920
I was involved.
00:19:58.160 --> 00:20:00.319
I just found that kind of weird, but it's weird.
00:20:00.559 --> 00:20:05.440
I guess I mean, you know, probably parents like giving kids advice, I would imagine.
00:20:05.759 --> 00:20:09.839
This actually felt more legitimate because she married a non-Jewish guy.
00:20:10.079 --> 00:20:18.000
No, I mean I'm sure she understood it, but like I I mean, unless I directly asked a parent, another parent for advice, which I basically never did.
00:20:18.160 --> 00:20:24.880
I at least the people that I was hanging out with, parents were like, go do your weird nerd stuff.
00:20:24.960 --> 00:20:27.839
Like, you know, I'm not I don't know, I don't know.
00:20:28.559 --> 00:20:32.000
I mean, I know they're yeah, I don't know.
00:20:32.240 --> 00:20:32.960
I don't know, yeah.
00:20:33.039 --> 00:20:35.839
I would be in conversations like that a lot with parents.
00:20:36.079 --> 00:20:41.200
Like, I remember another inappropriate thing where like, did you guys ever do like a teen tour type thing?
00:20:41.519 --> 00:20:43.680
No, no, you never did sleepboy camp.
00:20:43.839 --> 00:20:45.599
Um I did sleepway camp.
00:20:45.839 --> 00:20:50.160
I remember before I left for a teen tour, a parent was like, make sure you bring condoms.
00:20:51.519 --> 00:20:51.839
Okay.
00:20:52.880 --> 00:20:53.279
Jeez.
00:20:54.000 --> 00:21:03.680
I mean, I guess this all at least in a in a way that makes me feel good supports my hypothesis, which is that I wasn't the only one that was thinking that everybody was fucking nice.
00:21:04.160 --> 00:21:04.720
All the parents.
00:21:05.759 --> 00:21:07.759
My parent was like, these kids are all fucking.
00:21:07.839 --> 00:21:08.480
Yeah.
00:21:08.799 --> 00:21:09.759
It's wild.
00:21:10.000 --> 00:21:11.119
Yeah, I don't know.
00:21:11.279 --> 00:21:22.160
But uh, oh, but anyway, her advice to me was oh, what you gotta do is say is first come to them saying you're dating a black girl.
00:21:22.480 --> 00:21:23.839
Yes, that's excellent advice.
00:21:24.160 --> 00:21:25.200
And no one's coming.
00:21:25.599 --> 00:21:28.079
And I think that is what she literally did when she was.
00:21:28.400 --> 00:21:29.200
That is the way to do it.
00:21:29.359 --> 00:21:29.599
Yeah.
00:21:29.839 --> 00:21:30.640
I totally get it.
00:21:30.799 --> 00:21:35.759
And then um, and then be like, okay, fine, I won't date her, but I will date this non-Jewish white girl.
00:21:36.640 --> 00:21:38.480
Your parents would be okay, fine.
00:21:38.559 --> 00:21:41.200
You convinced me, but I did have this backup girl.
00:21:41.920 --> 00:21:42.160
Right.
00:21:42.480 --> 00:21:46.960
I was trying to think of like how you I guess it would be a real like long con.
00:21:47.599 --> 00:21:54.160
Like, all right, I have to find a I have to at least make up a black girl that I'm why are Jews so racist?
00:21:54.400 --> 00:21:56.000
I don't I really don't get it.
00:21:56.319 --> 00:21:59.680
No, and I wonder if it has to if it's a specific.
00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:04.880
Specifically a Pikesville thing, because it's in Pikesville, it really is just like black people and Jews.
00:22:05.119 --> 00:22:06.720
And it's very segregated.
00:22:07.039 --> 00:22:07.680
It is.
00:22:08.559 --> 00:22:15.839
So yeah, I won't I I don't know if that's specifically to Jews or very specifically to Pikesville, but um I do think that they're a lot of people.
00:22:16.400 --> 00:22:19.599
Parents were very racist, like not that sucks.
00:22:19.920 --> 00:22:21.440
That fucking sucks.
00:22:25.599 --> 00:22:31.759
Did I tell you when we went to Japan, there was one or two times people just went up to me and started speaking Japanese?
00:22:32.000 --> 00:22:33.200
I swear to God.
00:22:34.400 --> 00:22:36.160
I mean, you definitely look Washing.
00:22:36.480 --> 00:22:37.119
Wasian.
00:22:37.279 --> 00:22:37.359
Yeah.
00:22:37.519 --> 00:22:38.880
You absolutely look Asian.
00:22:39.759 --> 00:22:41.039
That's really trending right now, Josh.
00:22:41.119 --> 00:22:41.759
You should jump on that.
00:22:42.559 --> 00:22:42.799
I know.
00:22:42.880 --> 00:22:44.880
I was I was just telling my cousin about it.
00:22:45.039 --> 00:22:46.720
I mean, my son I literally have a Asian son.
00:22:46.799 --> 00:22:47.519
Like, I used to.
00:22:48.240 --> 00:22:48.720
That's huge.
00:22:48.960 --> 00:22:50.720
I used to cultural cachet.
00:22:51.039 --> 00:22:54.160
I used to get really collecting all those checks.
00:22:54.400 --> 00:22:57.759
It used to really hurt my feelings when people would say I looked Asian.
00:22:57.920 --> 00:22:58.400
That's fucking.
00:22:58.720 --> 00:23:02.400
Because there were no hot Asians when we were growing up.
00:23:02.640 --> 00:23:03.200
Lucy Lu.
00:23:03.680 --> 00:23:04.079
Just not true.
00:23:04.400 --> 00:23:04.880
Lucy Lu.
00:23:05.200 --> 00:23:06.880
Okay, no hot guy Asians.
00:23:07.119 --> 00:23:07.839
Jackie Chan.
00:23:08.000 --> 00:23:08.640
Jackie Chan.
00:23:08.880 --> 00:23:09.599
He's not hot.
00:23:09.839 --> 00:23:11.440
You don't think Jackie Chan was ever hot?
00:23:11.519 --> 00:23:12.240
I think that's offensive.
00:23:12.480 --> 00:23:12.799
Jackie Lee.
00:23:12.960 --> 00:23:15.680
I wouldn't say that's I wouldn't say that was his primary treatment.
00:23:15.759 --> 00:23:17.039
It's definitely not people thought of him.
00:23:18.799 --> 00:23:20.240
There were so many hot Korean movies.
00:23:20.640 --> 00:23:21.200
Who was the one?
00:23:21.519 --> 00:23:22.799
But this is now a Jet Lee.
00:23:22.880 --> 00:23:23.680
Jet Li one.
00:23:23.839 --> 00:23:24.480
Jet Lee was hot.
00:23:24.640 --> 00:23:25.119
That's what I just said.
00:23:25.200 --> 00:23:26.880
Jet Lee, I think, was absolutely attractive.
00:23:27.599 --> 00:23:28.160
Yes.
00:23:28.480 --> 00:23:32.400
I don't, yeah, no girls were no, because they were racist.
00:23:32.559 --> 00:23:32.720
Right.
00:23:32.880 --> 00:23:33.599
Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:23:34.160 --> 00:23:39.440
Yeah, to be clear, if we haven't made this clear on the podcast, everyone about the fellow was racist.
00:23:39.599 --> 00:23:42.480
Like that, that is a big part of the school's identity.
00:23:42.960 --> 00:23:43.839
It's very racist.
00:23:44.160 --> 00:23:52.880
I in my head, I was like, I was thinking about, I think I would think about Oceans 11 and how that that was like all the hottest guys of that time.
00:23:53.119 --> 00:23:53.920
Except for the Chinese.
00:23:54.480 --> 00:23:56.000
One of the only not hot guys.
00:23:56.319 --> 00:23:57.680
Yeah, and that was racist.
00:23:58.079 --> 00:24:00.960
It was I didn't know it was a joke.
00:24:01.279 --> 00:24:02.799
Yeah, it was a caricature.
00:24:02.960 --> 00:24:04.799
There are 10 really hot guys.
00:24:04.960 --> 00:24:06.559
Even Bernie Mack is kind of hot.
00:24:06.960 --> 00:24:09.440
And then it's like, and then it's this Chinese guy.
00:24:10.640 --> 00:24:13.279
There are like five really hot guys, I think.
00:24:14.079 --> 00:24:15.599
I think they're all hot.
00:24:15.839 --> 00:24:17.519
Even like Casey Affleck.
00:24:17.680 --> 00:24:18.079
I still think that's a good thing.
00:24:18.240 --> 00:24:21.359
No, Casey Affleck is one of the, yeah, that's one of the ones I was including.
00:24:21.440 --> 00:24:23.119
But I think when you get to like Scott Cahn.
00:24:23.359 --> 00:24:23.759
Scott Conn.
00:24:24.559 --> 00:24:25.039
He's hot.
00:24:25.119 --> 00:24:26.960
You don't think Scott Kahn's attractive?
00:24:27.759 --> 00:24:28.160
Real?
00:24:28.319 --> 00:24:33.920
Oh, I think in that crowd, I would say he's on the lower rung, but sure, but he's conventionally attractive.
00:24:34.000 --> 00:24:39.599
Like I think if you just took Scott Kahn uh by himself, I think most girls would be like, oh yes, he is attractive.
00:24:39.680 --> 00:24:40.480
He's conventionally attractive.
00:24:40.640 --> 00:24:41.920
But he's a Hollywood six.
00:24:42.480 --> 00:24:43.599
He's a Hollywood six.
00:24:43.920 --> 00:24:44.559
Or an LA six.
00:24:44.720 --> 00:24:45.839
But an ocean's 11-3.
00:24:46.160 --> 00:24:47.599
He's an Ocean's 11-3, yeah.
00:24:48.240 --> 00:24:53.039
I mean, to your point, at least nowadays it's like everyone wants Asians.
00:24:53.279 --> 00:24:53.839
No, I know.
00:24:53.920 --> 00:24:54.160
I know.
00:24:54.240 --> 00:24:56.160
I wish is in high school now.
00:24:56.799 --> 00:24:57.119
Yeah.
00:24:57.359 --> 00:24:58.000
Yeah.
00:24:58.559 --> 00:25:02.960
Gosh, imagine you and Lisa from from Blackpink.
00:25:04.480 --> 00:25:05.759
What did you say?
00:25:06.480 --> 00:25:08.079
You just didn't hear anything I said?
00:25:08.160 --> 00:25:10.079
Or like I heard you say black pink.
00:25:10.559 --> 00:25:14.400
I said, imagine you and Lisa from Blackpink.
00:25:14.799 --> 00:25:15.599
Is that a couple?
00:25:15.920 --> 00:25:18.240
Is that a K-pop group?
00:25:18.559 --> 00:25:24.079
You're not familiar with Blackpink or Lisa from Blackpink, who was also in White Lotus recent season?
00:25:24.400 --> 00:25:24.720
No.
00:25:24.880 --> 00:25:25.039
No.
00:25:25.359 --> 00:25:25.839
Wow, dude.
00:25:26.079 --> 00:25:26.559
Not really.
00:25:26.880 --> 00:25:29.200
I don't really know too much about K-pop.
00:25:29.359 --> 00:25:30.480
Yeah, it's you're racist.
00:25:30.720 --> 00:25:31.839
We've established that as well.
00:25:32.160 --> 00:25:32.799
Oh my god.
00:25:33.119 --> 00:25:34.160
Pretty bad, Josh.
00:25:34.319 --> 00:25:36.319
This is this is a really good tangent.
00:25:36.559 --> 00:25:38.640
15-minute Asian tangent.
00:25:40.480 --> 00:25:41.200
What is this episode?
00:25:41.440 --> 00:25:42.799
Well, you guys know when I went.
00:25:42.880 --> 00:25:44.480
I mean, actually, I can bring it back.
00:25:44.720 --> 00:25:45.119
Bring it back.
00:25:45.440 --> 00:25:46.319
Oh, you got a connector?
00:25:46.480 --> 00:25:50.319
Well, maybe don't, so we can just cut this cleanly, but uh we'll see.
00:25:50.400 --> 00:25:54.000
I mean, this is genuinely not from me, but racist.
00:25:54.480 --> 00:25:55.599
I think both of you know that.
00:25:55.920 --> 00:25:56.480
Yeah, good.
00:25:56.559 --> 00:25:58.559
So more that won't be in the show.
00:25:58.799 --> 00:25:59.839
Well, you'll see.
00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:01.279
It's it's fine for the show.
00:26:01.359 --> 00:26:01.599
I think.
00:26:01.680 --> 00:26:02.559
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:26:02.960 --> 00:26:11.119
Um, when I went to Beth to fill a camp, my counselors, their nickname for me was Chan.
00:26:11.759 --> 00:26:13.920
And they just called me that the entire summer.
00:26:14.160 --> 00:26:18.960
That's that's a continuation of the Beth to fill racism.
00:00:00.320 --> 00:00:01.760
I never saw Hunger Games.
00:00:02.000 --> 00:00:02.720
Oh, really?
00:00:03.120 --> 00:00:03.439
Really?
00:00:04.480 --> 00:00:07.519
But I I had a major complaint with Hunger Games 1.
00:00:07.839 --> 00:00:08.720
What was your complaint?
00:00:08.960 --> 00:00:12.560
Well, you didn't see it, but I don't think this is a spoiler.
00:00:12.880 --> 00:00:13.279
Couldn't care.
00:00:13.599 --> 00:00:15.599
I mean, no, it definitely is a spoiler, actually.
00:00:15.759 --> 00:00:16.160
Do you care?
00:00:16.879 --> 00:00:17.760
I do not care.
00:00:17.920 --> 00:00:18.879
I do not care.
00:00:19.199 --> 00:00:29.280
My main issue with it is, you know, they all all these people enter the Hunger Games, and then a large portion of the movie is them training for the Hunger Games.
00:00:30.079 --> 00:00:33.200
And as they're training, they all become friends with each other.
00:00:33.520 --> 00:00:33.759
Right.
00:00:33.920 --> 00:00:37.840
I'm like, oh my like, I remember the first time I watched it, I was like, this is great.
00:00:37.920 --> 00:00:40.960
Like they're all becoming friends, and then they're gonna all have to kill each other.
00:00:41.039 --> 00:00:42.320
This is so tense.
00:00:42.479 --> 00:00:42.719
Yeah.
00:00:42.880 --> 00:00:46.399
It's like just kind of there's like a lot of dread.
00:00:46.640 --> 00:00:54.799
Like it was like great, like when they're having a good time together, there's always it's always undercut by the idea that they're all gonna have to kill each other.
00:00:55.039 --> 00:00:55.439
Yep.
00:00:55.600 --> 00:01:03.439
And then the hunger games start, and they all very conveniently figure out ways for none of them to kill each other.
00:01:04.079 --> 00:01:07.200
I was like, I thought this is what the movie was.
00:01:07.599 --> 00:01:14.719
But then I Is the book that I don't know, but but to me, it was like that was the special thing about the movie.
00:01:14.959 --> 00:01:15.599
Right.
00:01:16.400 --> 00:01:19.359
And then I tell people that, and they're like, no, you missed the point.
00:01:19.519 --> 00:01:20.879
I was like, oh, okay.
00:01:24.480 --> 00:01:29.519
We should make this episode about drinking and smoking weed and keeping kosher.
00:01:30.079 --> 00:01:32.959
So, but this is the question I want to pose to you.
00:01:33.200 --> 00:01:37.200
If someone put a if someone okay, the put a gun to your head, that's what you're gonna do.
00:01:37.359 --> 00:01:38.480
Well, well, I want to set it up more.
00:01:40.560 --> 00:01:50.319
There's a table in front of you, and there are three there are there's a cup, a plate, and another plate.
00:01:50.719 --> 00:01:53.120
In the cup is vodka.
00:01:53.599 --> 00:02:03.599
On the the first plate is uh blunt, and on the third plate is a cheeseburger.
00:02:03.920 --> 00:02:12.719
Someone's sticking a gun to your head in 11th grade, saying, You gotta choose one of these or I'm gonna fucking kill you.
00:02:13.039 --> 00:02:16.319
I know which one I like, I already know which one I would do for sure.
00:02:16.639 --> 00:02:17.439
Which one?
00:02:17.680 --> 00:02:18.319
Drinking.
00:02:18.479 --> 00:02:20.639
I I would I would have I would have I would have taken the vodka.
00:02:21.120 --> 00:02:22.159
I feel like that's easy.
00:02:22.719 --> 00:02:23.039
Really?
00:02:23.199 --> 00:02:24.000
Oh, I don't know.
00:02:24.080 --> 00:02:26.560
I would have definitely chosen the cheeseburger back then.
00:02:27.039 --> 00:02:28.159
Did you keep covered?
00:02:28.479 --> 00:02:34.159
But if you were yeah, if knowing doing Jake's convictions, yeah, that's the last thing he would do.
00:02:34.479 --> 00:02:35.039
Correct.
00:02:35.280 --> 00:02:45.680
And I and I do think a part of that answer is that if I knew, if my parents knew that that was the choice I had, that's the choice they would want me to make.
00:02:46.000 --> 00:02:50.319
I guess that's true, because right, like kids are kind of allowed to drink wine during the colour.
00:02:50.479 --> 00:02:50.800
Exactly.
00:02:51.039 --> 00:02:54.960
At least alcohol is like alcohol before the most acceptable one.
00:02:55.039 --> 00:02:55.199
Yeah.
00:02:55.439 --> 00:02:55.680
Exactly.
00:02:56.080 --> 00:02:56.479
Interesting.
00:02:56.639 --> 00:02:59.840
I mean, I definitely I mostly kept kosher in high school.
00:03:00.000 --> 00:03:05.360
I had I had it in my head that like if I was, if I didn't keep kosher, like something bad was gonna happen to me.
00:03:05.680 --> 00:03:06.479
I don't know.
00:03:06.879 --> 00:03:10.800
Like, even stuff like I told you I was like very sensitive about acne, right?
00:03:11.520 --> 00:03:17.919
But like some some weeks it would just like kind of clear up more, and some some weeks it would be terrible.
00:03:18.159 --> 00:03:24.960
And like I had in my head, like, oh, like if I didn't keep kosher, like God's gonna punish me more by giving me more acne.
00:03:26.319 --> 00:03:26.960
Wow.
00:03:27.919 --> 00:03:28.719
Very literal.
00:03:28.960 --> 00:03:34.479
That's very I remember though like parents would be so mean about it.
00:03:34.639 --> 00:03:45.199
Like I remember like one parent would be like would be like like about to go to a dance and be like, oh yeah, if you have sex with this girl, your acne will probably clear up.
00:03:48.000 --> 00:03:50.000
What trying to remember?
00:03:50.879 --> 00:03:52.479
You're saying very specific.
00:03:53.199 --> 00:03:54.159
So specific, dude.
00:03:54.319 --> 00:03:56.560
And who were who were you taking to the dance?
00:03:56.719 --> 00:04:05.520
Like, like was it like maybe it was just like it wasn't no like a general girl, like like, oh, if you fuck tonight, you'll your acne will clear up.
00:04:05.919 --> 00:04:07.360
It's like rather narrowed.
00:04:08.639 --> 00:04:11.759
Yeah, that parent should be arrested.
00:04:12.000 --> 00:04:13.199
I don't remember.
00:04:13.919 --> 00:04:28.959
But yeah, I would say like most of the time parents were like sort of the most like in a not inappropriate, and well, that is very inappropriate, but like parents would be telling me all the time to break up with Abby because like they're like, don't marry your high school girlfriend.
00:04:29.759 --> 00:04:35.040
This is like other parents, like just yeah, not my parents, but other parents, yeah.
00:04:35.920 --> 00:04:43.680
I mean, what why I as a parent now, I mean, not that I'm but you're not a good parent, you know.
00:04:43.759 --> 00:04:45.120
That's like a teenager's parent.
00:04:45.439 --> 00:04:56.879
I can't imagine being a parent of a teenager and being like, you know, would be what would be cool is if I told my son's friends that they should break up with their girlfriends.
00:04:57.519 --> 00:05:09.040
I mean, it yeah, I I think at the time I was like, this just comes from some sort of damage that they incurred throughout their life, and they're like trying to be like sort of a cautionary tale for me.
00:05:09.120 --> 00:05:10.959
But actually, that probably is true.
00:05:11.759 --> 00:05:13.680
I'm sure it is, yeah, but I'm sure it is.
00:05:14.000 --> 00:05:17.519
It's like the fuck, like no, that's messed up.
00:05:17.839 --> 00:05:20.800
Yeah, my barber, I remember, said that to me too.
00:05:21.360 --> 00:05:22.959
Your fucking barber?
00:05:23.199 --> 00:05:27.360
Yeah, and God, I wish I listened.
00:05:30.639 --> 00:05:39.279
I it that's just so it's also I feel so bad for you because I imagine you must have been very happy in telling all of these people that you were dating Abby.
00:05:41.040 --> 00:05:42.160
Uh, sure.
00:05:42.319 --> 00:05:44.639
I mean, I was very happy that I was dating Abby.
00:05:44.800 --> 00:05:45.920
I that's what I just said.
00:05:46.800 --> 00:05:48.480
No, but you said telling them.
00:05:48.560 --> 00:05:52.079
I don't know if I was like yelling it off a rooftop or whatever.
00:05:52.319 --> 00:05:53.839
But how did all these people know?
00:05:54.480 --> 00:05:56.399
Everyone Your barber?
00:05:56.560 --> 00:05:58.240
Your fucking barber just knew?
00:05:58.560 --> 00:06:05.360
My my mom is very popular in Pikesville, so I just feel like gossip about me like spread so quickly.
00:06:05.680 --> 00:06:12.160
Was she just like, have you like was she going into conversation being like, have you heard the news my son is dating Abby?
00:06:12.399 --> 00:06:14.560
Like, probably like probably.
00:06:14.879 --> 00:06:17.439
I think my parents thought I was gay for like the longest time.
00:06:17.519 --> 00:06:21.839
So I think they were like very excited when I started like seriously seeing a girl.
00:06:22.160 --> 00:06:27.439
What evidence would they have had to think that you're gay beyond just not dating anybody?
00:06:27.680 --> 00:06:39.439
Uh, this wasn't on an episode that you were on, but I was telling Adam how uh I think it was in ninth grade, like I sort of got into this relationship with this non-Jewish girl.
00:06:40.560 --> 00:06:46.560
And so you're gonna say non-Jewish guy, and then I was gonna be like, all right, well, at least we understand each other a little bit.
00:06:47.120 --> 00:06:48.079
And they caught me.
00:06:48.160 --> 00:06:50.560
So yeah, that's not why they thought we were I was gay.
00:06:50.800 --> 00:06:54.720
It was just the one tie, it was just the one whole relationship.
00:06:59.360 --> 00:07:08.720
Um yeah, I was I mean, we weren't like going out, but I was seeing her a lot, this non-Jewish girl.
00:07:08.879 --> 00:07:11.279
Um my parents How did you know this non-Jewish girl?
00:07:11.439 --> 00:07:11.839
Sorry.
00:07:12.000 --> 00:07:20.639
Um I think I think it was a friend of like a classmate at BT.
00:07:21.920 --> 00:07:29.120
But not, you know, obviously didn't go to our school, but I think she was like brought to a dance or something like that, and it was like she thinks you're cute.
00:07:29.360 --> 00:07:30.800
Then we started talking.
00:07:31.120 --> 00:07:32.720
Um goes.
00:07:33.519 --> 00:07:39.360
And then um, and then my parents found out, and it was like horrible at home.
00:07:39.519 --> 00:07:44.399
And it wasn't even like I'm gonna see her, I'm gonna date her, like you can't tell me what to do.
00:07:44.480 --> 00:07:47.600
I don't even think I attached that much importance to it.
00:07:47.759 --> 00:07:53.519
But like the fact that I even considered seeing her was like terrible to them.
00:07:54.000 --> 00:07:58.319
But then that they would have that doesn't support your they thought you were gay.
00:07:58.720 --> 00:07:59.279
Thank you, Adam.
00:07:59.360 --> 00:07:59.839
Thank you, Adam.
00:08:00.079 --> 00:08:07.600
No, no, no, so so after that happened, I just kept that whole part of my life so secret from them.
00:08:07.759 --> 00:08:14.720
And I think even secret from like everybody, because most of the time, like someone I don't know how it was happening.
00:08:14.800 --> 00:08:28.560
I know I I had a theory that Ariel was providing Josh gossip to my mom, but like any sort of like, even if I like showed even the slightest attention to some girl, like my mom would find out immediately.
00:08:28.639 --> 00:08:32.720
So I just really like well, you think it was her that was dishing the tea?
00:08:32.960 --> 00:08:33.440
I don't know.
00:08:35.279 --> 00:08:37.039
We talked about this with her, and I forget.
00:08:37.120 --> 00:08:47.679
She said maybe a little bit her, but then she also said someone else, I feel like she said because Stephanie Millicent talked to my mom a lot too, and she was also friends with a lot of girls at BT.
00:08:48.000 --> 00:08:50.799
So it's possibly that.
00:08:52.080 --> 00:08:53.360
Very interesting.
00:08:53.679 --> 00:09:00.639
So I was like, I last episode we were talking about how long it took me to ask Abby out, and I think that was like part of it.
00:09:00.720 --> 00:09:03.600
I was like, once I do, like, this is gonna become public.
00:09:03.759 --> 00:09:11.279
Like, I mean, in my head, I mean I know it's like whatever, it's not that many people, but it's at the time it's it seemed like a big deal.
00:09:11.360 --> 00:09:12.639
It was like this is unavoidable.
00:09:12.720 --> 00:09:15.200
Like, my parents are gonna find this out, find out about this.
00:09:15.360 --> 00:09:32.240
And even though Abby is Jewish, it was like it e and a woman, the fact that it even remotely resembled like them finding out about a relationship, and that was so terrible when it happened, I like didn't even want to relive like just even a fraction of that.
00:09:32.480 --> 00:09:34.960
So let me ask you a question, Josh.
00:09:35.120 --> 00:09:47.840
Yeah, let's say you're in 11th grade, and in front of you is a plate, a plate, and a bed, and it's a cheeseburger, a blunt, and a non-Jewish girl.
00:09:48.159 --> 00:09:49.120
Well, I don't give a shit.
00:09:49.519 --> 00:09:50.399
Which one would you have done?
00:09:51.039 --> 00:09:52.799
I'm talking about an 11th grade.
00:09:53.759 --> 00:09:57.600
And you have and are my parents finding out about yes, and your parents are finding out.
00:09:57.840 --> 00:10:02.399
So my parents are finding out that uh so when you say bed, like a bed.
00:10:02.639 --> 00:10:04.080
Like we're having sex.
00:10:04.399 --> 00:10:05.279
You're gonna have sex.
00:10:05.519 --> 00:10:05.759
Okay.
00:10:06.000 --> 00:10:14.399
Was the girl that was into you cute, like like would you like so if she had said, okay, like I want, you know, I want to go all the way, would you have done it?
00:10:15.919 --> 00:10:18.000
Um I don't know.
00:10:18.240 --> 00:10:18.799
I don't know.
00:10:18.879 --> 00:10:24.960
It's hard going back to my mind, like in probably, but God, it's like we force me to do that every day.
00:10:25.279 --> 00:10:25.759
Okay, I'm sorry.
00:10:26.559 --> 00:10:29.440
I'm not I'm not being like with I'm not being withholding.
00:10:29.600 --> 00:10:32.000
Um a little withholding.
00:10:32.320 --> 00:10:35.840
Well, it's not because it's something I don't want to tell you.
00:10:35.919 --> 00:10:39.360
It's something that I can't be like confident at my answer.
00:10:39.519 --> 00:10:42.879
I don't know like what my perception of sex was back then.
00:10:43.120 --> 00:10:53.200
So because if I was like, if I was like afraid to eat a cheeseburger because I thought something bad was gonna happen to me, what was my idea of sex back then?
00:10:54.559 --> 00:11:00.320
When you say your idea of sex, do you mean like literally what was it, or do you mean like what might have happened to you?
00:11:00.559 --> 00:11:01.440
I knew what it was.
00:11:01.679 --> 00:11:02.080
I don't know.
00:11:02.159 --> 00:11:03.200
I'm I'm trying to get clarity.
00:11:03.600 --> 00:11:07.440
I'm trying to think of like how big of a deal I thought of it back then.
00:11:07.600 --> 00:11:09.440
Like I probably thought it was a pretty big deal.
00:11:09.519 --> 00:11:11.120
Not as big as you thought it was.
00:11:11.360 --> 00:11:12.879
There's no one on earth did.
00:11:13.120 --> 00:11:16.559
But I'm sure I thought it was a big deal, you know?
00:11:16.799 --> 00:11:17.279
Sure.
00:11:17.679 --> 00:11:19.519
Especially with like my movie brain.
00:11:19.600 --> 00:11:22.000
Like there's usually you know, in movies.
00:11:22.320 --> 00:11:25.039
I mean, but that would have been a really cinematic way to lose your virginity.
00:11:25.200 --> 00:11:25.600
That's exactly right.
00:11:25.679 --> 00:11:25.919
I can't.
00:11:27.600 --> 00:11:39.759
There was probably a part of me that liked the drama of like, oh, I'm date, like I'm you know, I'm dating this girl that I'm not I wasn't dating her, but I'm seeing this girl who I'm not supposed to be seeing.
00:11:40.399 --> 00:11:47.679
Yeah, I mean, that's I can't think of anything more Shakespearean and how many Romeo and Juliets have been made.
00:11:48.240 --> 00:11:57.039
I mean, you know the most like forced no the girl thing that was the most traumatic forced Judaism thing on me.
00:11:57.279 --> 00:12:02.639
This you know the second most intense Adam knows this story.
00:12:02.960 --> 00:12:08.559
The second most uh traumatic forced Judaism thing on me was, right?
00:12:08.720 --> 00:12:10.960
It ended with me punching a hole in the wall.
00:12:11.600 --> 00:12:12.000
I don't know.
00:12:12.240 --> 00:12:14.639
Yeah, I know the punching, but I actually what was the reason?
00:12:14.720 --> 00:12:16.080
What was the Jewish part of that?
00:12:16.720 --> 00:12:19.360
What is that you don't know the story, Jake?
00:12:19.840 --> 00:12:20.960
I don't think I do.
00:12:23.519 --> 00:12:33.919
This was also like maybe a few months before my parents had decided like we're not no one's allowed to go out on Friday nights.
00:12:34.080 --> 00:12:36.559
Friday nights are for Shabbat dinner.
00:12:37.759 --> 00:12:41.840
While this was happening, I was in a real Seinfeld phase.
00:12:42.080 --> 00:12:46.159
I I'd probably at that point I'd probably seen every episode of Seinfeld.
00:12:46.240 --> 00:12:49.039
I this is no joke, probably three or four times.
00:12:49.279 --> 00:12:53.200
I had like VHS, like when Seinfeld was on.
00:12:53.279 --> 00:12:59.360
I remember I would set my VCR to like start recording because it would come on it.
00:12:59.440 --> 00:13:01.360
There was a certain point where it would come on in chunks.
00:13:01.519 --> 00:13:03.840
Like they would do like four episodes at one, three or four episodes.
00:13:04.080 --> 00:13:04.799
Sure, yes, yes.
00:13:04.960 --> 00:13:12.000
So I'd set my VCR to like record all those episodes, and then that week I think I would watch like that that chunk of episodes like every day.
00:13:12.559 --> 00:13:13.039
Amazing.
00:13:13.279 --> 00:13:26.480
And then Jordan Levin, one of my best friends, his dad had some connection and was like, we we have like great like front row seats to see Jerry Seinfeld live.
00:13:27.759 --> 00:13:33.200
And I was like, um I was like, that's amazing.
00:13:33.600 --> 00:13:38.960
So I tell my parents I'm invited to this, thinking like obviously they're gonna be excited, like this is awesome.
00:13:39.279 --> 00:13:40.879
I'm finally seeing Jerry Seinfeld.
00:13:41.039 --> 00:13:42.480
They're like, you can't go.
00:13:42.720 --> 00:13:45.279
And you know, big yelling match.
00:13:45.679 --> 00:13:51.600
I was I mean, I wish I had the balls to just sneak out, but I didn't back then.
00:13:52.080 --> 00:13:55.360
I mean, what do you think the actual repercussions would have been?
00:13:56.240 --> 00:14:00.480
It would have been the exact same as probably what ended up happening, which was what?
00:14:00.799 --> 00:14:06.639
So I got so angry that they weren't letting me go that I punched a hole in the wall.
00:14:06.799 --> 00:14:12.639
Like I literally ran down the basement steps, like so steaming, and boom.
00:14:13.440 --> 00:14:20.080
I think not thinking like I was gonna punch a hole in the wall, I just punched the thing that was closest to me.
00:14:20.320 --> 00:14:20.639
Right.
00:14:20.799 --> 00:14:27.279
And yeah, just a giant hole, and I freeze because I'm like, holy shit, what did I just do?
00:14:27.679 --> 00:14:34.720
Suddenly, the thing in my mind is not Seinfeld, it's how much trouble I'm gonna be in, and how can I talk my way out of this?
00:14:35.039 --> 00:14:36.879
So I come up with some lie.
00:14:38.720 --> 00:14:39.360
That was.
00:14:39.759 --> 00:14:51.759
I was wearing my guitar around my neck, and I swung around too fast, and the guitar neck, like the tuner part, hit the wall and put a hole in it.
00:14:52.879 --> 00:14:53.200
Okay.
00:14:53.919 --> 00:15:02.159
And I think my parents believed me for 10 minutes, and then I was just in my room fuming, and they came in and be like, we know you're lying.
00:15:02.720 --> 00:15:05.360
And I was like, uh, you caught me.
00:15:08.320 --> 00:15:15.039
And then I got grounded for I think it was a month, which just meant grounded in that I couldn't leave my house.
00:15:15.200 --> 00:15:17.200
Like, I couldn't make plans with anyone.
00:15:17.519 --> 00:15:20.559
They're like, the thing we're the most mad about you is lying.
00:15:20.799 --> 00:15:22.720
Mad about classic, classic.
00:15:23.600 --> 00:15:27.759
I feel like I would have gotten the same punishment if I just fed the hole.
00:15:29.440 --> 00:15:37.840
I mean, my dad, like, he he would get mad at us for touching the walls in our house because it's like your your hand oil is gonna smudge the paint.
00:15:38.080 --> 00:15:44.879
So it's like imagine someone who's that intense about that, and then suddenly his kid punches a hole in the wall.
00:15:45.759 --> 00:15:54.240
You're definitely getting a month of grounding because if you had just snuck out and had not punched a hole in the wall at all, I bet you the punishment would have been less.
00:15:54.559 --> 00:15:58.159
I think you're right, actually, and possibly even gotten some credit from my dad.
00:15:58.240 --> 00:15:59.440
That was always I agree.
00:16:00.639 --> 00:16:02.960
Like he would have been like, You're straight as an arrow, son.
00:16:03.039 --> 00:16:04.399
I guarantee you he would have said that.
00:16:04.480 --> 00:16:07.360
He said only a straight son would go sneak out and go see sign.
00:16:07.919 --> 00:16:12.159
Yeah, please tell me you also bang that that chicksa.
00:16:12.480 --> 00:16:16.320
Because I bet you he secretly was kind of like, I hope he does it.
00:16:16.559 --> 00:16:18.000
Knowing your dad.
00:16:20.559 --> 00:16:25.039
Do you guys remember like the first time you saw anyone drink alcohol?
00:16:25.840 --> 00:16:26.480
Anyone?
00:16:26.720 --> 00:16:27.440
You mean like a couple of things?
00:16:27.600 --> 00:16:28.480
No, someone from your class.
00:16:28.799 --> 00:16:31.039
Yeah, sorry, not like a parent or yeah.
00:16:31.360 --> 00:16:36.639
I just I remember um I went to the beach with Alex Simone.
00:16:37.200 --> 00:16:39.360
It's just me with his family.
00:16:39.600 --> 00:16:44.159
That was that was like always the ultimate, like like I would get it.
00:16:44.240 --> 00:16:46.159
I mean, that's like good stuff.
00:16:46.320 --> 00:16:51.519
Like when you're friends with someone and they invite you on their family vacation, did you guys ever get one of those?
00:16:51.840 --> 00:16:52.639
No, sir.
00:16:52.879 --> 00:16:54.559
It was awesome, it would happen.
00:16:54.720 --> 00:17:01.519
But um, yeah, I went to uh Alex, I went with Alex Simone to um to Bethany Beach.
00:17:02.960 --> 00:17:13.200
And we it was like after we had spent all day at the beach or whatever, and we just get back, and me and him are sharing a room, and you know, it's like twin beds.
00:17:13.440 --> 00:17:21.200
So I'm in my bed and he's in his bed, and he just like gets we're watching TV and he like gets out of his bed, goes to the fridge, breaks out a beer, and starts drinking it.
00:17:21.279 --> 00:17:30.880
It was like the first time I ever saw someone drink a beer, but it was also like we were probably like 14, and I was like, I remember I said something like, what are you like 60?
00:17:31.039 --> 00:17:34.480
Like it just felt like a real like retired guy thing to do.
00:17:36.480 --> 00:17:46.240
It was like, I feel like if you were to drink at our age, you wouldn't be doing it like just while like chilling and like he was like doing it as if he was like a guy unwinding after like trading stocks or something.
00:17:46.480 --> 00:17:49.200
I mean, that makes me feel like he was doing that a fair amount then.
00:17:49.279 --> 00:17:57.200
Like he was sort of like maybe, but or he was doing that for you and trying to play it off as like yeah, nonchalant.
00:18:00.079 --> 00:18:04.319
Did uh did Adam answer the gun to his head question?
00:18:04.559 --> 00:18:09.039
Are you taking the vodka, the blunt, or the cheeseburger?
00:18:09.200 --> 00:18:09.759
Or the cheeseburger?
00:18:11.200 --> 00:18:13.759
I in 11th grade.
00:18:14.079 --> 00:18:19.200
All right, how let's make it 10th grade because I right you said that that was sort of a transition point for you, right?
00:18:19.359 --> 00:18:20.160
11th grade?
00:18:20.319 --> 00:18:21.680
Or was it 12th grade?
00:18:21.920 --> 00:18:24.480
Oh, in terms of like I would have drank and stuff either.
00:18:24.640 --> 00:18:26.480
Yeah, I think maybe the end of 11th grade.
00:18:26.559 --> 00:18:30.799
I kind of forget, but I'm pretty sure maybe it was like 11th grade I drank.
00:18:31.039 --> 00:18:33.759
So yeah, if it was 11th grade, I yeah, I would have taken the shavaka.
00:18:34.000 --> 00:18:35.839
10th grade, I mean, maybe still the same.
00:18:36.079 --> 00:18:38.079
I forget, or the burger, I guess.
00:18:38.160 --> 00:18:38.559
I don't know.
00:18:38.799 --> 00:18:50.240
I think I was 10th grade I probably was even more serious also about kosher and like believing in some sort of god or like caring about Judaism.
00:18:51.200 --> 00:19:02.559
So maybe so maybe, yeah, I think maybe the I don't know if it's either the vodka or the hamburger, right?
00:19:02.640 --> 00:19:04.000
Yeah, I don't know which one it would have been.
00:19:04.480 --> 00:19:05.200
Well, none of us have to be.
00:19:07.440 --> 00:19:08.640
No, I no.
00:19:08.799 --> 00:19:09.839
Yeah, no.
00:19:10.400 --> 00:19:12.640
I mean, talk to me five years later.
00:19:12.799 --> 00:19:13.440
Yeah.
00:19:13.839 --> 00:19:14.880
First thing I go for.
00:19:15.119 --> 00:19:18.079
Ask the duchy on the left-hand side for Adam Wand.
00:19:21.039 --> 00:19:26.799
I mean, I honestly, I I've just I just remembered this when I was seeing that non-Jewish girl.
00:19:26.960 --> 00:19:33.039
Uh yeah, I remember Alex Simone's mom gave me because Alex Simone's dad is not Jewish.
00:19:33.279 --> 00:19:35.920
So she was like, Oh, I've dealt with this situation before.
00:19:36.079 --> 00:19:38.960
Like, she was on my side with the with the situation.
00:19:39.119 --> 00:19:41.119
This had gotten out to everybody at this point.
00:19:41.200 --> 00:19:43.279
Like everyone knew this was the situation.
00:19:43.599 --> 00:19:51.680
But it's just so fascinating that it's not that your friends are the ones that are like coaching you on stuff, it's the friends' parents that are like, no, no, friends were doing it too.
00:19:52.000 --> 00:19:53.039
Friends were doing it too.
00:19:53.359 --> 00:19:56.160
But it's but why are the parents saying anything?
00:19:56.640 --> 00:19:56.960
I don't know.
00:19:57.200 --> 00:19:57.920
I was involved.
00:19:58.160 --> 00:20:00.319
I just found that kind of weird, but it's weird.
00:20:00.559 --> 00:20:05.440
I guess I mean, you know, probably parents like giving kids advice, I would imagine.
00:20:05.759 --> 00:20:09.839
This actually felt more legitimate because she married a non-Jewish guy.
00:20:10.079 --> 00:20:18.000
No, I mean I'm sure she understood it, but like I I mean, unless I directly asked a parent, another parent for advice, which I basically never did.
00:20:18.160 --> 00:20:24.880
I at least the people that I was hanging out with, parents were like, go do your weird nerd stuff.
00:20:24.960 --> 00:20:27.839
Like, you know, I'm not I don't know, I don't know.
00:20:28.559 --> 00:20:32.000
I mean, I know they're yeah, I don't know.
00:20:32.240 --> 00:20:32.960
I don't know, yeah.
00:20:33.039 --> 00:20:35.839
I would be in conversations like that a lot with parents.
00:20:36.079 --> 00:20:41.200
Like, I remember another inappropriate thing where like, did you guys ever do like a teen tour type thing?
00:20:41.519 --> 00:20:43.680
No, no, you never did sleepboy camp.
00:20:43.839 --> 00:20:45.599
Um I did sleepway camp.
00:20:45.839 --> 00:20:50.160
I remember before I left for a teen tour, a parent was like, make sure you bring condoms.
00:20:51.519 --> 00:20:51.839
Okay.
00:20:52.880 --> 00:20:53.279
Jeez.
00:20:54.000 --> 00:21:03.680
I mean, I guess this all at least in a in a way that makes me feel good supports my hypothesis, which is that I wasn't the only one that was thinking that everybody was fucking nice.
00:21:04.160 --> 00:21:04.720
All the parents.
00:21:05.759 --> 00:21:07.759
My parent was like, these kids are all fucking.
00:21:07.839 --> 00:21:08.480
Yeah.
00:21:08.799 --> 00:21:09.759
It's wild.
00:21:10.000 --> 00:21:11.119
Yeah, I don't know.
00:21:11.279 --> 00:21:22.160
But uh, oh, but anyway, her advice to me was oh, what you gotta do is say is first come to them saying you're dating a black girl.
00:21:22.480 --> 00:21:23.839
Yes, that's excellent advice.
00:21:24.160 --> 00:21:25.200
And no one's coming.
00:21:25.599 --> 00:21:28.079
And I think that is what she literally did when she was.
00:21:28.400 --> 00:21:29.200
That is the way to do it.
00:21:29.359 --> 00:21:29.599
Yeah.
00:21:29.839 --> 00:21:30.640
I totally get it.
00:21:30.799 --> 00:21:35.759
And then um, and then be like, okay, fine, I won't date her, but I will date this non-Jewish white girl.
00:21:36.640 --> 00:21:38.480
Your parents would be okay, fine.
00:21:38.559 --> 00:21:41.200
You convinced me, but I did have this backup girl.
00:21:41.920 --> 00:21:42.160
Right.
00:21:42.480 --> 00:21:46.960
I was trying to think of like how you I guess it would be a real like long con.
00:21:47.599 --> 00:21:54.160
Like, all right, I have to find a I have to at least make up a black girl that I'm why are Jews so racist?
00:21:54.400 --> 00:21:56.000
I don't I really don't get it.
00:21:56.319 --> 00:21:59.680
No, and I wonder if it has to if it's a specific.
00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:04.880
Specifically a Pikesville thing, because it's in Pikesville, it really is just like black people and Jews.
00:22:05.119 --> 00:22:06.720
And it's very segregated.
00:22:07.039 --> 00:22:07.680
It is.
00:22:08.559 --> 00:22:15.839
So yeah, I won't I I don't know if that's specifically to Jews or very specifically to Pikesville, but um I do think that they're a lot of people.
00:22:16.400 --> 00:22:19.599
Parents were very racist, like not that sucks.
00:22:19.920 --> 00:22:21.440
That fucking sucks.
00:22:25.599 --> 00:22:31.759
Did I tell you when we went to Japan, there was one or two times people just went up to me and started speaking Japanese?
00:22:32.000 --> 00:22:33.200
I swear to God.
00:22:34.400 --> 00:22:36.160
I mean, you definitely look Washing.
00:22:36.480 --> 00:22:37.119
Wasian.
00:22:37.279 --> 00:22:37.359
Yeah.
00:22:37.519 --> 00:22:38.880
You absolutely look Asian.
00:22:39.759 --> 00:22:41.039
That's really trending right now, Josh.
00:22:41.119 --> 00:22:41.759
You should jump on that.
00:22:42.559 --> 00:22:42.799
I know.
00:22:42.880 --> 00:22:44.880
I was I was just telling my cousin about it.
00:22:45.039 --> 00:22:46.720
I mean, my son I literally have a Asian son.
00:22:46.799 --> 00:22:47.519
Like, I used to.
00:22:48.240 --> 00:22:48.720
That's huge.
00:22:48.960 --> 00:22:50.720
I used to cultural cachet.
00:22:51.039 --> 00:22:54.160
I used to get really collecting all those checks.
00:22:54.400 --> 00:22:57.759
It used to really hurt my feelings when people would say I looked Asian.
00:22:57.920 --> 00:22:58.400
That's fucking.
00:22:58.720 --> 00:23:02.400
Because there were no hot Asians when we were growing up.
00:23:02.640 --> 00:23:03.200
Lucy Lu.
00:23:03.680 --> 00:23:04.079
Just not true.
00:23:04.400 --> 00:23:04.880
Lucy Lu.
00:23:05.200 --> 00:23:06.880
Okay, no hot guy Asians.
00:23:07.119 --> 00:23:07.839
Jackie Chan.
00:23:08.000 --> 00:23:08.640
Jackie Chan.
00:23:08.880 --> 00:23:09.599
He's not hot.
00:23:09.839 --> 00:23:11.440
You don't think Jackie Chan was ever hot?
00:23:11.519 --> 00:23:12.240
I think that's offensive.
00:23:12.480 --> 00:23:12.799
Jackie Lee.
00:23:12.960 --> 00:23:15.680
I wouldn't say that's I wouldn't say that was his primary treatment.
00:23:15.759 --> 00:23:17.039
It's definitely not people thought of him.
00:23:18.799 --> 00:23:20.240
There were so many hot Korean movies.
00:23:20.640 --> 00:23:21.200
Who was the one?
00:23:21.519 --> 00:23:22.799
But this is now a Jet Lee.
00:23:22.880 --> 00:23:23.680
Jet Li one.
00:23:23.839 --> 00:23:24.480
Jet Lee was hot.
00:23:24.640 --> 00:23:25.119
That's what I just said.
00:23:25.200 --> 00:23:26.880
Jet Lee, I think, was absolutely attractive.
00:23:27.599 --> 00:23:28.160
Yes.
00:23:28.480 --> 00:23:32.400
I don't, yeah, no girls were no, because they were racist.
00:23:32.559 --> 00:23:32.720
Right.
00:23:32.880 --> 00:23:33.599
Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:23:34.160 --> 00:23:39.440
Yeah, to be clear, if we haven't made this clear on the podcast, everyone about the fellow was racist.
00:23:39.599 --> 00:23:42.480
Like that, that is a big part of the school's identity.
00:23:42.960 --> 00:23:43.839
It's very racist.
00:23:44.160 --> 00:23:52.880
I in my head, I was like, I was thinking about, I think I would think about Oceans 11 and how that that was like all the hottest guys of that time.
00:23:53.119 --> 00:23:53.920
Except for the Chinese.
00:23:54.480 --> 00:23:56.000
One of the only not hot guys.
00:23:56.319 --> 00:23:57.680
Yeah, and that was racist.
00:23:58.079 --> 00:24:00.960
It was I didn't know it was a joke.
00:24:01.279 --> 00:24:02.799
Yeah, it was a caricature.
00:24:02.960 --> 00:24:04.799
There are 10 really hot guys.
00:24:04.960 --> 00:24:06.559
Even Bernie Mack is kind of hot.
00:24:06.960 --> 00:24:09.440
And then it's like, and then it's this Chinese guy.
00:24:10.640 --> 00:24:13.279
There are like five really hot guys, I think.
00:24:14.079 --> 00:24:15.599
I think they're all hot.
00:24:15.839 --> 00:24:17.519
Even like Casey Affleck.
00:24:17.680 --> 00:24:18.079
I still think that's a good thing.
00:24:18.240 --> 00:24:21.359
No, Casey Affleck is one of the, yeah, that's one of the ones I was including.
00:24:21.440 --> 00:24:23.119
But I think when you get to like Scott Cahn.
00:24:23.359 --> 00:24:23.759
Scott Conn.
00:24:24.559 --> 00:24:25.039
He's hot.
00:24:25.119 --> 00:24:26.960
You don't think Scott Kahn's attractive?
00:24:27.759 --> 00:24:28.160
Real?
00:24:28.319 --> 00:24:33.920
Oh, I think in that crowd, I would say he's on the lower rung, but sure, but he's conventionally attractive.
00:24:34.000 --> 00:24:39.599
Like I think if you just took Scott Kahn uh by himself, I think most girls would be like, oh yes, he is attractive.
00:24:39.680 --> 00:24:40.480
He's conventionally attractive.
00:24:40.640 --> 00:24:41.920
But he's a Hollywood six.
00:24:42.480 --> 00:24:43.599
He's a Hollywood six.
00:24:43.920 --> 00:24:44.559
Or an LA six.
00:24:44.720 --> 00:24:45.839
But an ocean's 11-3.
00:24:46.160 --> 00:24:47.599
He's an Ocean's 11-3, yeah.
00:24:48.240 --> 00:24:53.039
I mean, to your point, at least nowadays it's like everyone wants Asians.
00:24:53.279 --> 00:24:53.839
No, I know.
00:24:53.920 --> 00:24:54.160
I know.
00:24:54.240 --> 00:24:56.160
I wish is in high school now.
00:24:56.799 --> 00:24:57.119
Yeah.
00:24:57.359 --> 00:24:58.000
Yeah.
00:24:58.559 --> 00:25:02.960
Gosh, imagine you and Lisa from from Blackpink.
00:25:04.480 --> 00:25:05.759
What did you say?
00:25:06.480 --> 00:25:08.079
You just didn't hear anything I said?
00:25:08.160 --> 00:25:10.079
Or like I heard you say black pink.
00:25:10.559 --> 00:25:14.400
I said, imagine you and Lisa from Blackpink.
00:25:14.799 --> 00:25:15.599
Is that a couple?
00:25:15.920 --> 00:25:18.240
Is that a K-pop group?
00:25:18.559 --> 00:25:24.079
You're not familiar with Blackpink or Lisa from Blackpink, who was also in White Lotus recent season?
00:25:24.400 --> 00:25:24.720
No.
00:25:24.880 --> 00:25:25.039
No.
00:25:25.359 --> 00:25:25.839
Wow, dude.
00:25:26.079 --> 00:25:26.559
Not really.
00:25:26.880 --> 00:25:29.200
I don't really know too much about K-pop.
00:25:29.359 --> 00:25:30.480
Yeah, it's you're racist.
00:25:30.720 --> 00:25:31.839
We've established that as well.
00:25:32.160 --> 00:25:32.799
Oh my god.
00:25:33.119 --> 00:25:34.160
Pretty bad, Josh.
00:25:34.319 --> 00:25:36.319
This is this is a really good tangent.
00:25:36.559 --> 00:25:38.640
15-minute Asian tangent.
00:25:40.480 --> 00:25:41.200
What is this episode?
00:25:41.440 --> 00:25:42.799
Well, you guys know when I went.
00:25:42.880 --> 00:25:44.480
I mean, actually, I can bring it back.
00:25:44.720 --> 00:25:45.119
Bring it back.
00:25:45.440 --> 00:25:46.319
Oh, you got a connector?
00:25:46.480 --> 00:25:50.319
Well, maybe don't, so we can just cut this cleanly, but uh we'll see.
00:25:50.400 --> 00:25:54.000
I mean, this is genuinely not from me, but racist.
00:25:54.480 --> 00:25:55.599
I think both of you know that.
00:25:55.920 --> 00:25:56.480
Yeah, good.
00:25:56.559 --> 00:25:58.559
So more that won't be in the show.
00:25:58.799 --> 00:25:59.839
Well, you'll see.
00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:01.279
It's it's fine for the show.
00:26:01.359 --> 00:26:01.599
I think.
00:26:01.680 --> 00:26:02.559
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:26:02.960 --> 00:26:11.119
Um, when I went to Beth to fill a camp, my counselors, their nickname for me was Chan.
00:26:11.759 --> 00:26:13.920
And they just called me that the entire summer.
00:26:14.160 --> 00:26:18.960
That's that's a continuation of the Beth to fill racism.
