WEBVTT
00:00:00.479 --> 00:00:01.679
So, all right, we're doing it.
00:00:01.760 --> 00:00:04.080
This is the episode where we talk about the Holocaust.
00:00:04.240 --> 00:00:19.359
Um we've I think for all of our listeners out there, there's been like a a storm brewing that I'm sure some of our astute listeners will know has been steadily approaching.
00:00:19.679 --> 00:00:28.239
And this is the episode where I think the the rains begin to break and the and the skies begin to let loose.
00:00:28.399 --> 00:00:36.320
And because that's uh what happens when we talk about things like the Holocaust.
00:00:36.479 --> 00:00:50.960
Now, I do want to also say I, in an act of reclamation, and I don't know if you guys know this, but I did officially say, it was probably about two years ago now, that I was gonna exclusively refer to the Holocaust.
00:00:51.119 --> 00:00:53.600
I put that in quotes, not because it didn't happen, it did.
00:00:53.840 --> 00:00:55.679
Um, as the Holocaust.
00:00:55.920 --> 00:00:58.320
Okay, I was gonna say, I thought let me explain.
00:00:58.640 --> 00:00:59.520
So maybe I didn't do that.
00:00:59.679 --> 00:01:00.560
Maybe I didn't explain that too.
00:01:02.079 --> 00:01:02.399
I did.
00:01:02.560 --> 00:01:12.400
So about two or three years ago, I said uh as an act of reclamation, because of how much it traumatized me in my childhood, I was going to start referring to the Holocaust as the Holocaust.
00:01:12.480 --> 00:01:22.560
And so if with your permission, with your blessing, with the you know, with permission of the Secret Midnight Society, I'd like to call this the Holocaust episode.
00:01:22.640 --> 00:01:24.239
Is that is that okay?
00:01:25.200 --> 00:01:29.519
It would be great to open this episode because you said midnight.
00:01:29.599 --> 00:01:31.200
What's it called in Are You Afraid of the Dark?
00:01:31.359 --> 00:01:41.200
The Secret Midnight like that, like it's the opening of an Are You Afraid of the Dark, but they're all about to talk about the Holocaust for the spookiest episode.
00:01:42.719 --> 00:01:44.879
I mean, Holocaust is spooky.
00:01:45.040 --> 00:01:46.159
There's no question it's spooky.
00:01:46.400 --> 00:01:55.040
Damn, we could we we gotta remember we we gotta do a Holocaust part two on Halloween to Holly Holy Hall.
00:01:56.000 --> 00:01:58.480
You can do that, but yeah, Halloween, Holocaust, yeah.
00:01:58.560 --> 00:01:58.879
Yeah, yeah.
00:01:59.359 --> 00:01:59.920
No, no, no.
00:02:00.000 --> 00:02:01.359
But you basically did do it.
00:02:01.599 --> 00:02:06.560
Um, I wonder why there aren't more like Holocaust Halloween crossovers just in general.
00:02:06.959 --> 00:02:08.400
Like why what?
00:02:09.520 --> 00:02:15.039
Holocaust is the way I used to say it.
00:02:15.439 --> 00:02:19.199
No, you really emphasize the hollow, like holocaust, like hollow.
00:02:19.599 --> 00:02:25.280
Oh, you're talking still about the marriage of uh Halloween and then the Holocaust, right?
00:02:25.520 --> 00:02:26.800
Oh right.
00:02:27.439 --> 00:02:41.680
So my first real exposure to the Holocaust actually takes place before Adam I can't look at you, I can't look at you and get that feedback he's got.
00:02:42.719 --> 00:02:45.599
The middle change is very funny to me.
00:02:47.680 --> 00:02:49.120
The Holocaust thing?
00:02:49.280 --> 00:02:49.599
Yes.
00:02:49.759 --> 00:02:52.560
I don't know why I think that is that funny.
00:02:52.719 --> 00:02:53.280
Oh, really?
00:02:53.360 --> 00:02:54.240
I find it very funny.
00:02:54.400 --> 00:03:00.719
I kind of feel like kind of sounds like like the millennial like cutesy talk to me.
00:03:02.719 --> 00:03:06.400
That's still funny to use that for the Holocaust.
00:03:07.919 --> 00:03:11.039
If I have Adam's comedy blessing, no offense, John.
00:03:11.759 --> 00:03:14.879
Adam's comedy blessing means way more than a laugh.
00:03:15.039 --> 00:03:17.199
There's nothing sweeter in life.
00:03:17.599 --> 00:03:37.919
Uh so it it it really started at Schechter, and when I was in first grade is when they start doing like so uh once you're in like lower school, they start doing like programming that's like adjacent to it on Holocaust Remembrance Day.
00:03:38.240 --> 00:03:50.719
So that was like at first, second grade, you're talking like about it, and I don't know if you guys had these Sadorum at in in the the chapel when you guys would go.
00:03:50.800 --> 00:03:55.199
Like, did you guys have chapel services at BT when you were in first grade?
00:03:55.919 --> 00:03:56.479
Or second grade.
00:03:56.719 --> 00:03:59.120
No, I think we would die in the classroom.
00:03:59.360 --> 00:04:01.520
Yeah, but but you had sidors, right?
00:04:01.759 --> 00:04:04.319
Yeah, you had yeah, because we had a C DOR program.
00:04:04.800 --> 00:04:05.039
Yeah.
00:04:05.919 --> 00:04:09.120
We gifted our C Dors so everyone on Sidor.
00:04:09.759 --> 00:04:10.240
Cool.
00:04:10.479 --> 00:04:15.199
Let me see if I can find that this will be a great prop.
00:04:15.439 --> 00:04:19.600
If I can find an online copy of the Sidor.
00:04:20.000 --> 00:04:24.240
Um what do we have to do for the C-DOR program while Jake's looking this up?
00:04:24.959 --> 00:04:27.920
I mean, I remember us being like on stage and singing.
00:04:28.000 --> 00:04:30.079
I mean, that was prime dun dun.
00:04:30.319 --> 00:04:31.360
That was you're right.
00:04:31.439 --> 00:04:36.079
That was like kind of when we first were initiated into the piano chord.
00:04:36.720 --> 00:04:38.240
But then how did Jake know about?
00:04:38.639 --> 00:04:43.439
Like Jake knew exactly what I was talking about, but they don't do that to us in high school, do they?
00:04:43.600 --> 00:04:45.759
Do they do not dumb in high school?
00:04:46.240 --> 00:04:47.920
Do they do what to you in high school?
00:04:48.639 --> 00:04:49.199
Dun done.
00:04:49.439 --> 00:04:50.000
The two chords.
00:04:50.319 --> 00:04:50.720
The two pianos.
00:04:50.959 --> 00:04:51.920
Oh, dun, dun, because Mrs.
00:04:52.000 --> 00:04:52.959
Latterman, she Ms.
00:04:53.120 --> 00:04:54.720
Letterman didn't teach at BT also?
00:04:55.439 --> 00:04:57.839
Oh, she did you guys had it at Schechter?
00:04:58.399 --> 00:04:58.800
Yes.
00:04:58.959 --> 00:05:01.839
Oh, oh Dum Dumb is whoa.
00:05:02.079 --> 00:05:03.680
The dumb dumb is Scheckter, baby.
00:05:04.000 --> 00:05:05.680
Well, no, it's BT too.
00:05:05.839 --> 00:05:08.480
I I I I I know I'm saying it was a Schechter day.
00:05:08.720 --> 00:05:09.519
It was cross.
00:05:09.600 --> 00:05:10.319
Oh my god.
00:05:10.480 --> 00:05:12.480
I think it's cross Jewish day schools.
00:05:12.720 --> 00:05:13.279
So if Mrs.
00:05:13.360 --> 00:05:18.160
Letterman didn't also teach at BT, who definitely taught at BT and Schechter was Mr.
00:05:18.319 --> 00:05:18.720
Cohen.
00:05:18.959 --> 00:05:19.839
Yes, yes.
00:05:20.000 --> 00:05:20.480
So Mr.
00:05:20.639 --> 00:05:22.480
Cohen could have been the bridge.
00:05:22.639 --> 00:05:23.600
It's not impossible.
00:05:23.839 --> 00:05:24.399
Oh, Mr.
00:05:24.560 --> 00:05:25.040
Cohen.
00:05:55.279 --> 00:05:58.879
Black Wednesday, November third, nineteen forty-three.
00:05:59.120 --> 00:06:06.319
For three days, three hundred prisoners working in two shifts had been made to dig three ditches, two yards deep and about a thousand yards long.
00:06:06.560 --> 00:06:19.439
Approximately one hundred SS men were then lined up in two rows to form a gauntlet, and groups of a hundred Jews at a time were made to undress, run the gauntlet to the L-shaped barracks, and from there to the ditches, men and women separately.
00:06:19.680 --> 00:06:23.439
SS men drove them into the ditches with rifle butts, forcing them to lie flat.
00:06:23.600 --> 00:06:27.199
Other SS men standing above them raked them with automatic rifle fire.
00:06:27.360 --> 00:06:31.040
The next groups were forced to lie down on top of the corpses of the previous ones.
00:06:31.199 --> 00:06:33.279
The killing went on for two days from 6 a.m.
00:06:33.439 --> 00:06:36.560
to 5 p.m., with SS men relieved at two hour intervals.
00:06:36.720 --> 00:06:45.600
During this process, two trucks were drawn up, up drawn up, blaring gay ballads, marches, songs, and dance tunes through a loudspeaker to drown out the victims screaming.
00:06:45.759 --> 00:06:48.240
18,000 people were killed in two days.
00:06:48.560 --> 00:06:55.040
Okay, so that was uh my first exposure really to the Holocaust.
00:06:55.199 --> 00:06:58.319
Um that how old was I?
00:06:58.480 --> 00:07:10.720
I was I was in second grade because I remember um because we because these were the Sidors, and I I found a PDF of the full Sidor, Sidor Sim Shalom, can't forget that.
00:07:11.199 --> 00:07:12.800
Oh, I think those were the ones we had.
00:07:13.040 --> 00:07:19.040
Okay, so in the back of the sitter, there was an entire section on Yom Hashawa, and it was filled.
00:07:19.199 --> 00:07:22.160
I mean, that was one of the lighter stories, okay?
00:07:22.560 --> 00:07:34.560
And my little morbid brain in second grade sat in uh you know chapel reading these stories and not understanding what the fuck this was.
00:07:35.040 --> 00:07:36.639
So this was my first exposure.
00:07:36.959 --> 00:07:38.399
And I still think about these stories.
00:07:38.959 --> 00:07:44.240
Were you was reading that prompted by a teacher, or were you kind of just exploring?
00:07:44.480 --> 00:07:46.639
Okay, so that was just there and you went rogue.
00:07:47.040 --> 00:07:47.759
They're waiting for rogue.
00:07:48.800 --> 00:07:55.680
Um, my first question, I guess, to the school was like, why would you give these Sadours to the children?
00:07:55.839 --> 00:08:01.040
Like, do you expect that they're not going to like open it to a different page?
00:08:01.199 --> 00:08:02.319
Is the expectation now?
00:08:02.399 --> 00:08:03.600
I was a pretty voracious reader.
00:08:03.759 --> 00:08:05.040
Like I was a very early reader.
00:08:05.120 --> 00:08:08.000
I was in my own reading class because I was a very advanced reader.
00:08:08.240 --> 00:08:11.839
So, I mean, what did you do with that information in second grade?
00:08:12.319 --> 00:08:14.560
So I like didn't I didn't do anything with it.
00:08:14.639 --> 00:08:25.439
I just every Monday and Thursday morning when we had chapel, my morbid little fucking brain would open the sitter and you would read that and go right back to those pages.
00:08:25.680 --> 00:08:30.720
Oh, yeah, no, I I completely perseverated over it because I was just like, that makes sense.
00:08:30.879 --> 00:08:37.519
I mean, that when you're that age, you you kinda like the things that really frighten you, you kind of want to keep checking and on that.
00:08:37.759 --> 00:08:37.840
Right.
00:08:37.919 --> 00:08:38.639
I have to process it.
00:08:38.720 --> 00:08:47.039
I'm just like, I don't know what this is, but maybe if I keep reading, uh, you know, maybe uh 18,000 people were killed in two days will at some point make sense to me.
00:08:47.440 --> 00:08:50.399
So I I I like, yeah, I mean I held on to it.
00:08:50.559 --> 00:08:53.039
Then in like anybody about it?
00:08:53.279 --> 00:08:53.519
No.
00:08:54.320 --> 00:08:55.919
You just kept that all to yourself.
00:08:56.159 --> 00:08:56.639
I did.
00:08:56.879 --> 00:08:59.200
And I had a lot of nightmares about the Holocaust as a kid.
00:08:59.519 --> 00:09:05.679
All I read, I mean, if I haven't talked about this on the show, the only books, this is not an exaggeration.
00:09:06.080 --> 00:09:10.480
Nowadays, I can only read Holocaust books.
00:09:10.559 --> 00:09:12.720
In that sense, it is kind of a weird incel thing.
00:09:12.799 --> 00:09:16.080
It's like I can only get hard from reading Holocaust books.
00:09:16.320 --> 00:09:22.080
I cannot fucking I try to read anything else, and I'm like, I need another Holocaust book.
00:09:22.320 --> 00:09:25.919
I mean you're metaphorically still looking at the back of that book.
00:09:26.159 --> 00:09:26.960
What'd you say?
00:09:27.279 --> 00:09:30.559
You're still looking at the back of the book in you know, in some ways.
00:09:30.720 --> 00:09:31.120
You're still.
00:09:31.759 --> 00:09:34.240
I am constantly looking in the back of the seam show album.
00:09:34.559 --> 00:09:34.639
Yeah.
00:09:34.799 --> 00:09:44.960
It I thought it was in the rear view, but I am read and now I read this stuff and I'm like, please, 18,000 people in two days, I'll I'll see that and raise you, you know, 100,000 people in a week.
00:09:45.120 --> 00:09:53.279
So it's it it totally fucked with my with my sense of like what what makes me feel anything when I read.
00:09:53.600 --> 00:10:00.399
And they do you think they had taught you about the Holocaust like before you read that, or did you have like no concept of it?
00:10:00.559 --> 00:10:00.799
Nothing.
00:10:01.039 --> 00:10:01.759
Zero, zero.
00:10:01.919 --> 00:10:08.399
Because I vividly remember the first time really like doing Yom Ha Shoa programming was in like third, fourth grade.
00:10:08.720 --> 00:10:11.039
Because I remember the hallway where it happened.
00:10:12.240 --> 00:10:12.799
Say again.
00:10:13.039 --> 00:10:14.159
You must have pissed your pants.
00:10:14.320 --> 00:10:15.120
I didn't piss my pants.
00:10:15.200 --> 00:10:15.840
I'll tell you what I did.
00:10:15.919 --> 00:10:19.200
I had I had awful, awful somatic stomach aches.
00:10:19.279 --> 00:10:20.559
So I lived at Scheckter.
00:10:20.799 --> 00:10:27.919
I basically got maybe I feel bad for my parents because I probably got about 50% of the tuition dollars that they spent on actual education.
00:10:28.080 --> 00:10:33.919
The other 50% should have just gone right to Iris Engber, the nurse at who's Michael Engber's mom, who we had on the theater episode.
00:10:34.159 --> 00:10:44.399
So I I Iris and I had an amazing relationship because I lived in her office for about half of the school year because I was constantly having these awful, awful stomach aches.
00:10:44.559 --> 00:10:53.039
So on Yoma Show a day, I mean, that was like it it really did feel like I was in the Holocaust because I'm sorry, the Holocaust.
00:10:53.360 --> 00:10:57.519
Because I would go in and it was like right out of the gate.
00:10:57.600 --> 00:11:00.799
It's like, okay, we're gonna sit and watch this movie, or this person's gonna come in.
00:11:00.960 --> 00:11:03.440
This is back when survivors were like a dime a dozen.
00:11:03.600 --> 00:11:11.519
So they're coming in, they're telling you stories about the, you know, the gas chambers, and uh, and I'm like, I can't, uh like this is this is too much.
00:11:11.600 --> 00:11:12.000
It's too.
00:11:12.240 --> 00:11:14.000
I can deal with the stories in the back of the book.
00:11:14.080 --> 00:11:19.120
I can't deal with like I can't deal with uh um Devil's Arithmetic.
00:11:19.200 --> 00:11:22.240
That was the first movie that they showed us with Kirsten Dunst.
00:11:22.559 --> 00:11:25.120
Um, and I What's that one?
00:11:25.279 --> 00:11:26.559
Like, I don't know that one.
00:11:26.720 --> 00:11:40.960
So Devil's Arithmetic is about Kirsten Dunst is at a Seder, and at the Seder, I mean, not to spoil it, she doesn't actually go back to the Holocaust, but she like passes out and wakes up and she's in the Holocaust.
00:11:41.200 --> 00:11:43.600
And she's a wizard of Oz.
00:11:43.759 --> 00:11:45.679
It's a Wizard of Oz for the Holocaust.
00:11:45.840 --> 00:11:54.399
And so she's in the Holocaust, and at the end, you're like, oh my God, she's gonna go to the gas chambers, and then she wakes up at the Seder and it's like, oh, what a spooky dream.
00:11:54.559 --> 00:11:59.120
So in third, fourth grade, I really started to have to like come face to face with it.
00:11:59.279 --> 00:12:03.279
And so then in like fifth, sixth, and seventh grade, I would just be sick from school.
00:12:03.440 --> 00:12:08.799
I I I mean, if if if my parents kept track of the Jewish calendar, it was like clockwork.
00:12:08.879 --> 00:12:17.200
I would just had I was throwing up, I had a fever, whatever, whatever I needed to do, uh, you know, shove fingers down my throat to not go to school on Yom Ha Show a day.
00:12:17.440 --> 00:12:22.240
Okay, so anytime you knew a Holocaust day was coming, you acted sick.
00:12:22.399 --> 00:12:22.639
Yes.
00:12:22.879 --> 00:12:25.039
Are you really shoving your fingers down your throat too?
00:12:25.279 --> 00:12:27.200
I I've never once made myself throw up.
00:12:27.279 --> 00:12:30.639
And famously, I hate, like I am actually kind of afraid of throwing up.
00:12:30.720 --> 00:12:32.080
So I haven't thrown up since college.
00:12:32.240 --> 00:12:34.320
I threw up one time in college, I had a stomach bug.
00:12:34.399 --> 00:12:36.320
So no, I've never made myself throw up ever.
00:12:36.480 --> 00:12:39.919
So in eighth grade, you go to the Holocaust Museum.
00:12:40.000 --> 00:12:41.759
You go to the Holocaust Museum in DC.
00:12:42.399 --> 00:12:47.360
That was like an incredibly uh hard day for me.
00:12:47.519 --> 00:12:53.200
So my mom was a chaperone on the trip because she knew how unbelievably afraid I was of doing this.
00:12:53.440 --> 00:13:02.720
Um, there was there was like a teacher, Maura Plout, who I loved, who also, I think by that point, like I had confided in her at school.
00:13:02.799 --> 00:13:06.720
Like, hey, my God, just say you don't have to go.
00:13:07.360 --> 00:13:08.799
No, I I wanted to go.
00:13:09.600 --> 00:13:10.320
No, I didn't want to go.
00:13:10.399 --> 00:13:10.960
I didn't want to go.
00:13:11.039 --> 00:13:19.039
I'm sure it was compulsory, and I'm sure that my mom and Maura Plout together were like, we will be with you the whole time, and like obviously we will like cover your eyes for stuff.
00:13:19.279 --> 00:13:24.639
I mean, anytime you talk about your past life, I'm like, we met at the right time.
00:13:24.879 --> 00:13:26.320
We met at just the right time, Josh.
00:13:26.799 --> 00:13:31.840
Because I promise you, you would have been the villain in a lot of my stories if we had met any earlier.
00:13:32.240 --> 00:13:38.000
I just don't think we would have been friends, but I dude not only we would not have been friends, you would have been dunking on my sweet ass.
00:13:38.240 --> 00:13:39.919
I was never mean to anybody.
00:13:40.080 --> 00:13:40.879
I really wasn't.
00:13:41.039 --> 00:13:42.240
Josh is a nice boy.
00:13:42.320 --> 00:13:42.559
Yeah.
00:13:42.799 --> 00:13:47.360
I I bet you you were mean to people, but not in a way that was mean.
00:13:47.519 --> 00:14:00.320
I bet you that people I'm sure that there were people that were not as popular as you that you spoke to them in a way that they would have taken it as, oh, this guy's popular and he knows it, but you did not mean it as I'm popular and I know it.
00:14:00.559 --> 00:14:06.559
Oh, kind of like um like it's just kind of enough to be like, hey buddy, how you doing, and then keep walking.
00:14:06.879 --> 00:14:07.440
Yeah, dude.
00:14:07.519 --> 00:14:09.200
I guarantee you did that all the fucking time.
00:14:09.279 --> 00:14:10.639
Yeah, I'm so I'm sure you're right.
00:14:10.879 --> 00:14:13.840
I mean that's not necessarily like mean.
00:14:14.080 --> 00:14:14.559
It's not mean.
00:14:14.639 --> 00:14:15.039
That's what I'm saying.
00:14:15.120 --> 00:14:16.000
It's not you're not being mean.
00:14:17.039 --> 00:14:18.879
People might be could be resentful towards people.
00:14:19.279 --> 00:14:23.440
People would, I'm sure that there were people around that were like a little bit fuck Josh Miller.
00:14:23.759 --> 00:14:25.200
Like, I I'm sure that there were people.
00:14:25.440 --> 00:14:30.159
Oh, I'm sure, but um, but there were few and far between them and we hate them and we hope that they died.
00:14:30.399 --> 00:14:37.360
So for me, a big turning point as far as uh like social well wait, which story am I telling?
00:14:37.440 --> 00:14:39.279
Do you mean what what?
00:14:39.679 --> 00:14:40.960
Oh, you're pushing back on this?
00:14:41.279 --> 00:14:43.279
You couldn't even let that narrative persist.
00:14:43.519 --> 00:14:46.960
You couldn't even let that narrative persist for for five seconds.
00:14:51.360 --> 00:14:52.000
Wow.
00:14:52.320 --> 00:15:00.960
That is the I mean, if you wanted any more of a difference between you and me, it's like I would give you ten dollars if we could find a person in the class who liked me.
00:15:01.120 --> 00:15:08.559
And you and you think you don't think anybody in your class ever in the history of your time in schooling ever didn't like you?
00:15:08.879 --> 00:15:09.200
No.
00:15:09.600 --> 00:15:18.000
I truly think everyone I mean that is the most I know that is the most insane take I've ever heard.
00:15:18.320 --> 00:15:19.600
It is I mean that is boring.
00:15:19.840 --> 00:15:22.960
That is more we need to talk about, Kevin, than anything I have said.
00:15:23.440 --> 00:15:23.600
Okay.
00:15:24.080 --> 00:15:25.759
I don't think I don't I mean I won't be able to do that.
00:15:25.919 --> 00:15:29.600
You think you are thinking you are bad at 1,000 on likes?
00:15:32.320 --> 00:15:34.879
Yeah, I don't think anyone did not like me.
00:15:35.039 --> 00:15:39.039
I don't think I bet no one did not like Adam either.
00:15:39.279 --> 00:15:41.519
Like did not like him.
00:15:42.879 --> 00:15:44.240
Yeah, I think there probably were.
00:15:44.879 --> 00:15:47.039
Dude, like because you don't know.
00:15:47.120 --> 00:15:48.639
You don't know what other people are thinking.
00:15:48.799 --> 00:15:55.039
I it's I think it's just like in human nature, I just think that someone doesn't like anyone, right?
00:15:55.120 --> 00:15:56.799
Like, no, nobody is perfect.
00:15:57.120 --> 00:15:58.720
Essentially what you're saying is you think you were perfect.
00:16:00.720 --> 00:16:03.360
I just don't know if there's anyone in my class.
00:16:03.759 --> 00:16:17.200
Can I just say, just again, from just the way that I would imagine human development goes, I imagine you probably were actually were less likable back then because you were a kid and you're being a like you're being an obnoxious kid because every kid's being an obnoxious kid.
00:16:17.360 --> 00:16:25.679
Now you're like a fully grown adult who's very self-aware and very, you know, very charming, and and you're just like no kid is a hundred percent liked.
00:16:25.759 --> 00:16:26.639
It's just not possible.
00:16:26.960 --> 00:16:28.720
I'm he yeah, I I don't know how much.
00:16:28.960 --> 00:16:29.200
That's okay.
00:16:29.440 --> 00:16:31.120
This will keep Josh up at night for days.
00:16:31.519 --> 00:16:32.879
Wow, this is your Holocaust.
00:16:32.960 --> 00:16:34.559
We found your Holocaust.
00:16:34.879 --> 00:16:45.039
I think I I agree, Josh, that your I your reputation was like likable boy, like just like the friendly Yeah, just like everyone likes Josh.
00:16:45.600 --> 00:16:54.960
Yeah, but by saying that No, it's very unlike that someone resented you for people saying everyone likes Josh.
00:16:55.200 --> 00:16:55.919
Oh, yeah, dude.
00:16:56.080 --> 00:16:56.639
You think right?
00:16:57.120 --> 00:17:03.440
For that being the your reputation, there's gotta be some kind of figure out there who was resentful of that, some Jacobin figure.
00:17:04.000 --> 00:17:05.200
Huge target on your back, dude.
00:17:05.279 --> 00:17:06.960
You paint a huge target.
00:17:07.279 --> 00:17:08.480
Somebody, dude.
00:17:08.720 --> 00:17:09.839
And you know what, Josh?
00:17:10.000 --> 00:17:10.720
It's okay.
00:17:10.880 --> 00:17:16.240
Even if you were batting 995, you're still going to the Hall of Fame.
00:17:16.559 --> 00:17:18.720
I was gonna say you're still going to the Holocaust.
00:17:18.960 --> 00:17:20.319
And you're still going to the Holocaust.
00:17:21.440 --> 00:17:21.759
You know what?
00:17:21.839 --> 00:17:26.240
Whether you had one friend or a million friends, Hitler would have killed you the same.
00:17:26.559 --> 00:17:27.519
That's what I learned.
00:17:27.920 --> 00:17:29.039
That's comforting in a way.
00:17:29.279 --> 00:17:30.160
Isn't that comforting?
00:17:30.319 --> 00:17:33.279
We would have all been marched into the cattle cars together.
00:17:33.440 --> 00:17:36.400
We would have all been marched into the gas chambers together.
00:17:36.559 --> 00:17:38.000
All of our ashes would have intermingled.
00:17:38.160 --> 00:17:41.200
It's like your version of in the cup outside of my donic.
00:17:41.519 --> 00:17:47.599
When an astronaut goes into outer space and adds like a complete like re-evaluation of like human life.
00:17:47.839 --> 00:17:52.160
But instead of going to outer space, you're just constantly learning about the Holocaust.
00:17:53.039 --> 00:17:58.480
Yeah, Josh is going in that in that gas chamber just as much as I am.
00:18:04.640 --> 00:18:09.920
So, so in seventh, in seventh grade, or I'm sorry, in eighth grade, we have the Holocaust trip.
00:18:10.079 --> 00:18:12.480
So that was like a really big day for me.
00:18:12.640 --> 00:18:16.079
Um, in that I just like I really struggled.
00:18:16.240 --> 00:18:19.920
And there were there were like these video screens.
00:18:20.079 --> 00:18:28.240
And again, this just like speaks to the part of my brain that's like, I want to go to the last page of of the of Sid or Sim Shalom to read all these stories about kids being murdered.
00:18:28.400 --> 00:18:39.680
Uh, there were all these like video screens that had this like very ominous like police tape around them that were like, this is very bad.
00:18:39.920 --> 00:18:41.200
Like you have been warned.
00:18:42.160 --> 00:18:44.799
I dude, it was I serious, it was like a fucking crime scene.
00:18:44.880 --> 00:18:50.799
There was like all this like stuff around it being like, be very careful, like this is incredibly graphic footage.
00:18:51.039 --> 00:18:52.720
And that's the one thing you needed to see.
00:18:52.960 --> 00:19:01.599
No, but it was, but I think about it to this day because I've never looked at that footage, but I'm like, my brain was like one person who might not like me.
00:19:01.839 --> 00:19:02.079
Good.
00:19:02.240 --> 00:19:05.519
I I mean I knew that there was no fucking way too much.
00:19:09.200 --> 00:19:11.279
Right and Josh's personal holocaust.
00:19:11.920 --> 00:19:12.079
Yes.
00:19:12.240 --> 00:19:12.480
Let's go.
00:19:12.559 --> 00:19:13.440
What do you got, Josh?
00:19:13.759 --> 00:19:30.480
I I remember, but it was it wasn't a person in my class, so I don't know if this counts, but I uh I don't know who's who it was, but I remember I wrote an article for SMD, uh-huh, and I overheard someone reading and be like, eh, I'm not the biggest Josh fan.
00:19:32.079 --> 00:19:32.640
Wow.
00:19:33.200 --> 00:19:34.960
I mean that was very deep.
00:19:35.279 --> 00:19:37.599
Yeah, seriously, you really had to work for that one.
00:19:37.759 --> 00:19:42.079
But I like that in your narrative, like this person almost doesn't even exist.
00:19:42.400 --> 00:19:45.680
Well, I feel like it was it was a shadowy figure.
00:19:45.839 --> 00:19:46.960
I don't know if they were real.
00:19:47.039 --> 00:19:47.440
I don't know.
00:19:47.680 --> 00:19:48.400
I don't care at all.
00:19:48.559 --> 00:19:49.680
What are you guys talking about?
00:19:49.839 --> 00:19:50.720
I don't care.
00:19:52.559 --> 00:19:56.799
It's just so funny that like it's just so interesting how different we are.
00:19:56.960 --> 00:20:05.759
Because like I have spent my entire life being like, I have to work so hard to feel like anybody likes me.
00:20:06.079 --> 00:20:11.119
And you just had like a completely opposite experience.
00:20:11.279 --> 00:20:14.880
Like you are really struggling to try to think of one person that didn't.
00:20:15.440 --> 00:20:27.839
I mean, post-high school, I could name plenty of people, but um I mean what's funny to me is I think outwardly people would probably think we're pretty similar, and yet our backgrounds are so different.
00:20:28.160 --> 00:20:28.559
Yeah.
00:20:29.119 --> 00:20:35.839
So uh so yeah, so eighth grade really like cemented, I think, my deep-seated like relationship with it.
00:20:36.079 --> 00:20:51.359
And also in eighth grade, we had to read Mouse, which I famously in my own life uh started reading and got so afraid that I took uh in my uh upstairs in my parents' house, there's like a big attic that's like very, very long.
00:20:51.599 --> 00:20:58.400
And I took the books and I was like so afraid that I viscerally like threw them in the attic so that they would I would never have to see them again.
00:20:58.559 --> 00:21:01.519
And I wish I had to really two on the nose almost.
00:21:01.599 --> 00:21:05.039
It's like two mountain.
00:21:06.319 --> 00:21:08.880
Yeah, it's like no, like your story.
00:21:09.119 --> 00:21:11.680
It's off the oh oh, I mean, these all really happen, though.
00:21:11.759 --> 00:21:12.880
These all really happen, I promise.
00:21:13.119 --> 00:21:16.319
I mean it's but everything was going to lie and it's all bullshit, but no, no, no.
00:21:16.559 --> 00:21:22.720
That's the whole that's the funny part is I believe everything you say, but it's so it's so perfect, it's so on the nose.
00:21:23.039 --> 00:21:24.400
Your Jew knows.
00:21:25.119 --> 00:21:28.640
So, yeah, so so eighth grade was a very tough year for me.
00:21:28.720 --> 00:21:38.240
Then in high school, then at Bethlehem, so there was Yom Hashoa stuff, and all of it, as I'm sure you remember, was or many of them were led by Maura Glazer.
00:21:38.720 --> 00:21:43.200
She was like the big Yom Hashoa, you know.
00:21:44.480 --> 00:21:46.799
Yeah, I do have court marshal.
00:21:46.960 --> 00:21:49.440
I don't know what what would you call the person that runs the parade.
00:21:49.680 --> 00:21:52.319
She was the she was the Yom Hashoa parade marshal.
00:21:52.720 --> 00:21:59.440
And so I in high school, I as I started to like find my sense of humor, I started doing like little.
00:22:00.079 --> 00:22:11.839
Many stand-up routines about Mauraglazer doing Yomha Shoa stuff because in Moriglazer's class for Hebrew, we would have to read stories about Yosef the talking carrot and shlomo the talking dog.
00:22:12.079 --> 00:22:14.400
It was all like the most inane Hebrew bullshit.
00:22:14.559 --> 00:22:23.200
And so I would do impressions of Mauri Glazer reading from you know uh Shlomo the talking dog, but Shlomo the Talking Dog has to go to Treblinka.
00:22:23.279 --> 00:22:33.519
So I started to like reclaim obviously a lot of the a lot of the Holocaust stuff, the Holocaust stuff.
00:22:33.759 --> 00:22:37.279
Then of course, I'm sure we all know the other shoe has to drop.
00:22:37.359 --> 00:22:46.079
So if the first shoe is the eighth grade um uh Holocaust museum trip, then the other shoe, the big shoe, is the 12th grade Poland trip.
00:22:46.160 --> 00:22:50.559
That is really where it goes sideways in a lot of ways.
00:22:51.200 --> 00:22:54.079
So the good news like it's all been leading up to this.
00:22:54.319 --> 00:22:55.680
It's all been leading up to this, right?
00:22:55.920 --> 00:22:59.759
So so the beginning of 12th grade, I was basically sick every day.
00:22:59.920 --> 00:23:00.640
I mean, I really was.
00:23:00.720 --> 00:23:04.720
Like I was just like in anticipation of the end of the year going.
00:23:09.359 --> 00:23:17.440
So by the time 12th grade rolls around, I certainly the beginning of the year, I'm just like, you know, it's low level anxiety all the time.
00:23:17.680 --> 00:23:21.039
But by coming up to the trip, I was just like, am I gonna?
00:23:21.279 --> 00:23:22.160
I mean, I was gonna go.
00:23:22.319 --> 00:23:23.359
I obviously was gonna go.
00:23:23.440 --> 00:23:27.200
But all I could think about was what the fuck is gonna happen on this trip?
00:23:27.359 --> 00:23:29.359
What what what what is gonna happen?
00:23:29.599 --> 00:23:31.839
Now, what am I say again?
00:23:32.160 --> 00:23:33.200
Like, what are you gonna see?
00:23:33.359 --> 00:23:37.519
Is that like, is that was that the it's it was what am I gonna see?
00:23:37.599 --> 00:23:41.920
But it was more, it was also just like, I really think it was more like what am I gonna feel?
00:23:42.160 --> 00:23:50.880
Because I I knew by 12th grade, I mean, I was I'm a stupid person and I was sort of a really stupid kid, but I at least knew, okay, there won't be any Nazis here.
00:23:51.039 --> 00:23:56.880
Like, I did have the frame of mind to be like, no one's getting killed in a in a gas chamber on this trip.
00:23:57.200 --> 00:24:05.119
But as I would find out pretty quickly, one of the first things that they tell you when you go to so for okay, well, uh I'm I was gonna skip ahead for a second.
00:24:05.279 --> 00:24:08.160
The first place that you go to is is Auschwitz and Birkanal.
00:24:08.240 --> 00:24:13.119
Auschwitz doesn't look like anything, it just looks like uh like a bunch of buildings.
00:24:13.200 --> 00:24:17.839
Like there's not, there's no, they bring out the, you know, they've they've moved the Arbeit Machtfrei sign there.
00:24:17.920 --> 00:24:22.160
So okay, you see that, and you're just like low level, like, oh God, you know, what's gonna happen?
00:24:22.319 --> 00:24:24.880
Then you walk in, you're like, oh, this is these are just like office buildings.
00:24:24.960 --> 00:24:27.359
Like you're like, there's nothing holocausty about this.
00:24:27.519 --> 00:24:30.079
And most of Beer Canal is destroyed, like it's mostly been bombed.
00:24:30.160 --> 00:24:35.359
So you're walking around, like you see the train tracks, you see the building, but there's nothing like overtly holocausty about it.
00:24:35.440 --> 00:24:35.920
There really isn't.
00:24:36.000 --> 00:24:37.279
It's just like a bunch of buildings.
00:24:37.519 --> 00:24:45.440
So, my donic, however, the one of the first things they say when you get there, first of all, you're greeted by a big cup of ashes, which I think is really cool.
00:24:46.160 --> 00:24:47.920
Um, you're like, oh, this is awesome.
00:24:48.000 --> 00:24:49.519
These are all these dead fucking Jews now.
00:24:49.680 --> 00:24:51.200
Now I actually have to think about this.
00:24:51.359 --> 00:25:04.880
And it's this old, old, old as dirt Polish dude with a Fisher Price walkie-talkie who's speaking to it, you know, like like he's talking to the group in this Fisher Price, walkie-talkie thing.
00:25:05.039 --> 00:25:10.160
And one of the first things he says is, This camp could be operational in a week.
00:25:10.400 --> 00:25:16.720
That I'm like, oh uh that's that's gonna be a that's gonna be a no for me, dog.
00:25:16.880 --> 00:25:17.519
That's that's a threat.
00:25:17.680 --> 00:25:20.720
That's now we're at now we're at at threat level, you know, five.
00:25:20.960 --> 00:25:22.880
It's like a real weird brag.
00:25:23.200 --> 00:25:24.559
It's a real weird brag.
00:25:24.960 --> 00:25:25.039
Right.
00:25:25.759 --> 00:25:27.839
And I'm like, and I'm like, you know who shouldn't be saying this?
00:25:28.000 --> 00:25:28.799
The Polish guy.
00:25:28.960 --> 00:25:34.240
I'm like, I anyone else I'm okay with hearing this news from, I don't want to hear it from the guy where it happened.
00:25:34.319 --> 00:25:35.839
It it was it was pretty freaky.
00:25:36.000 --> 00:25:42.880
Now, the the good news is that I am dealing with like an incel B plot at the time, which was very helpful.
00:25:43.119 --> 00:25:47.200
So while this is happening, it's of course prom season.
00:25:47.440 --> 00:25:52.079
So I'm in the process of being rejected by multiple people to go to prom.
00:25:52.240 --> 00:25:54.319
There's a bunch of stories about that.
00:25:54.559 --> 00:26:02.880
Uh the first person I was supposed to go to prom with dumped me because I was in a I was in a relationship with the loosest, the loosest quotes that have ever existed.
00:26:03.359 --> 00:26:06.319
This was never been brought up a relationship.
00:26:06.480 --> 00:26:06.799
What?
00:26:07.039 --> 00:26:12.960
I wasn't, but that's why I'm putting it on the quotes are so loose that they fucked all the time.
00:26:13.680 --> 00:26:14.799
Fucked all the time.
00:26:15.519 --> 00:26:28.640
So then I was supposed to take a different girl to prom where and there's a whole long story about that, but I I didn't because her boyfriend, so she was dating somebody, and her boyfriend ended up taking her.
00:26:28.720 --> 00:26:30.640
Whatever, not not a good story.
00:26:30.880 --> 00:26:32.319
So I'm on three.
00:26:32.400 --> 00:26:38.480
I'm on like I'm on like strike three, and I'm like, if this doesn't go well, uh, like I'm just not I'm I'm gonna go to problem.
00:26:38.799 --> 00:26:40.079
My donic is operational in a week.
00:26:40.240 --> 00:26:41.599
My donic is operational in a week.
00:26:41.680 --> 00:26:59.200
If this doesn't go well, so this old uh Polish guy takes us into a very functional gas chamber with very functional um fingernail scratches in the walls and very functional like death.
00:27:00.000 --> 00:27:02.079
He like pretends to lock the door.
00:27:06.000 --> 00:27:10.319
He's like out the window being like that.
00:27:12.319 --> 00:27:24.160
So I definitely, definitely blame my incel behavior of what's about to follow on dissociating from the absolute horror of what I'm now standing in.
00:27:24.400 --> 00:27:27.440
I mean, this is this is the Cedar Seam Shalom come to life.
00:27:27.519 --> 00:27:29.119
Like I'm standing in it.
00:27:29.599 --> 00:27:34.559
And so I just my brain immediately goes to who am I asking to prom?
00:27:34.640 --> 00:27:37.599
Like, like, how do I get a prom date here?
00:27:38.079 --> 00:27:46.640
And so I slide over to Allison Salman, and Allison Salman is crying, as she should be.
00:27:46.799 --> 00:27:48.480
I mean, this is the worst place on earth.
00:27:48.720 --> 00:28:03.359
And I just immediately go into like my little incel bag of tricks of just like, I am now going to console and parlay this into a prom invitation.
00:28:03.599 --> 00:28:09.839
I put my arm around her and she like accepted a hug from me, and already I'm just like, oh my god, my wildest dreams are coming from.
00:28:10.400 --> 00:28:14.319
Like, like your my brain is just so unbelievably scrambled.
00:28:14.559 --> 00:28:16.480
But I'm like, you know, are you okay?
00:28:16.559 --> 00:28:20.880
And like I asked the usual therapy open-ended questions, you know, how are you feeling?
00:28:20.960 --> 00:28:22.559
You know, is there anything I can do to help?
00:28:22.799 --> 00:28:37.359
Just the usual, like, just unbelievably I was very picturing now, like, anytime you asked out a girl, you were like, oh, I need to hear like the Schindler's List music music in the background, or this, or I will not be able to do this.
00:28:37.599 --> 00:28:40.559
So, so I so I was very successful.
00:28:40.720 --> 00:28:54.079
Like, I I mean, I was very successful at accomplishing my task, which was to not think about the countless children that died in this room, and instead think about like I could be going to prom with Alice and Selman.
00:28:54.240 --> 00:29:04.000
So Allie and I like walked around the gas chamber and the crematorium and the kids' crematorium, and like I mean, I was basically just in two worlds.
00:29:04.079 --> 00:29:09.680
Like I was just like in the room with the baby, you know, crematorium uh cart.
00:29:10.000 --> 00:29:14.240
And I was also thinking about like, you know, what tucks am I renting?
00:29:14.319 --> 00:29:15.759
Because I'm going to prom, baby.
00:29:15.920 --> 00:29:19.440
And so I was like, you know, do you want to go to prom with me?
00:29:19.599 --> 00:29:21.519
And um, and she was like, no.
00:29:21.680 --> 00:29:23.200
And I was like, okay.
00:29:23.519 --> 00:29:28.079
And she ended up going with like a very popular Israeli guy.
00:29:28.160 --> 00:29:30.079
And I was just like, motherfucker.
00:29:30.160 --> 00:29:34.160
Like, I is just like it, it it just like really crushed me.
00:29:34.240 --> 00:29:47.119
And so Israel was not a super fun time for me because I think I started to like both then let in all of the realities of what I had just seen, and also realized, like, oh, like I know I will never be loved.
00:29:47.440 --> 00:29:48.400
So it was cool.
00:29:48.480 --> 00:29:54.720
And then and then and then the real kick in the dick was that we also had to go to Yad Vashem, the Holocaust Museum in Israel.
00:29:54.799 --> 00:29:58.400
So it was just like, why are we putting so many hats on hats here?
00:29:58.559 --> 00:30:01.279
Like, we we like we don't need to go to Yad Vashem.
00:30:01.440 --> 00:30:02.079
This is not necessary.
00:30:02.160 --> 00:30:06.799
And so then I had a whole anxious experience with that, and the rest of my Israel trip was not was not great.
00:30:06.960 --> 00:30:10.480
And so now all I can do is read about the Holocaust.
00:30:11.759 --> 00:30:16.319
So I guess for the next episode We have to have Hitler on.
00:30:16.480 --> 00:30:23.200
Um, no, we have to do is just have like 15 people on for my grade and just ask them if anyone didn't like me.
00:30:23.920 --> 00:30:29.599
I and and what also makes you super likable is that you're gonna say yes and then first of all, right.
00:30:29.680 --> 00:30:32.960
I mean, like I know the perfect ending to this episode.
00:30:33.200 --> 00:30:35.680
You were like, hey, this is Jake's Holocaust episode.
00:30:35.920 --> 00:30:40.000
Then you're like, from that, I should take, let's make sure I was really liked in high school.
00:30:41.759 --> 00:30:43.200
Okay, but we should do it.
00:30:43.279 --> 00:30:51.519
I that was where I was going with this, is we should do it because I do think it would be funny if we had everyone on and then one person in my SMD article.
00:30:52.000 --> 00:30:53.039
I that's what I'm saying.
00:30:53.119 --> 00:30:57.119
I think it would be funny if one of those people was the person that didn't like you at the time.
00:30:57.279 --> 00:30:58.480
I think that would be very funny.
00:30:59.039 --> 00:31:04.000
Well, if we set up Oh, did we set up did we set up our hotline?
00:31:04.400 --> 00:31:15.119
Because they could call anonymously and say because we could we could also solicit to if people, you know, if they're they didn't they didn't like you themselves, but they knew they heard someone, someone wants to say something bad about you.
00:31:16.480 --> 00:31:24.160
If someone fucking calls that hotline, oh my god, oh I pray to fucking Hashem.
00:31:24.640 --> 00:31:40.720
If you are listening, if this didn't get edited out by Josh, who could now be doing everything in his power to make himself be liked, but if if this doesn't get cut out, please if you're listening to this and you didn't like Josh in school, please call this hotline and anonymize your voice.
00:31:40.960 --> 00:31:46.160
Make it so that we don't know who it is, but please call and tell us that you did not like Josh.
00:31:46.240 --> 00:31:47.519
Just so that he can be taken down.
00:31:47.920 --> 00:31:52.400
Yeah, that actually that's like at the end of every episode, we need to remind people to uh God.
00:31:53.119 --> 00:31:54.559
Seriously, I'm serious.
00:31:54.720 --> 00:31:59.440
I really will I will not rest until until we find one person.
00:31:59.839 --> 00:32:02.480
This should be the new did you fuck in high school?
00:32:02.640 --> 00:32:05.440
Like, you know how that's yes, with the arc of season one.
00:32:05.759 --> 00:32:08.079
Oh wow, wow, that's totally right, Josh.
00:32:08.880 --> 00:32:09.680
You're totally right.
00:32:09.839 --> 00:32:11.440
This is the arc of season two.
00:32:14.240 --> 00:32:19.839
Okay, so the hot line is going to be a number that we would love if our listeners would call.
00:32:20.000 --> 00:32:26.160
And right now, the hot question that we pose to you is were you in Josh's grade?
00:32:26.559 --> 00:32:29.279
Uh, and did you like Josh?
00:32:29.599 --> 00:32:32.319
Or is there a part of you maybe that didn't like Josh?
00:32:32.480 --> 00:32:36.400
And we're really way more curious about the part of you that didn't like Josh.
00:32:36.640 --> 00:32:43.119
So if you or someone that you know did not like Josh in school, please give this number a call.
00:32:44.880 --> 00:32:49.839
908-280-1487.
00:32:50.720 --> 00:32:56.559
That's nine zero eight two eight zero one four eight seven.
00:32:58.160 --> 00:33:00.960
Did you also say if you heard of anyone who didn't like me?
00:33:01.119 --> 00:33:01.279
Yes.
00:33:01.839 --> 00:33:04.640
Is that you or you anyone knowing?
00:33:06.720 --> 00:33:10.720
Do you know that kid who was not a fan of that SMD?
00:33:10.880 --> 00:33:13.440
Yeah, I don't know if he wasn't a fan of the SMD article.
00:33:13.519 --> 00:33:15.519
He just wasn't a fan of me.
00:33:15.920 --> 00:33:17.519
So please call.
00:33:17.759 --> 00:33:19.279
I'm begging you to call.
00:33:19.599 --> 00:33:19.920
Yeah.
00:33:20.160 --> 00:33:20.559
Please.
00:33:20.720 --> 00:33:21.839
It's very important to us.
00:33:21.920 --> 00:33:24.720
I I it's really important to me because I really need to.
00:33:25.039 --> 00:33:26.720
Maybe you didn't like me just for a moment.
00:33:26.880 --> 00:33:30.720
You know, like maybe it wasn't necessarily like you didn't like me.
00:33:31.039 --> 00:33:36.000
Yeah, you could tell an anecdote anecdote where he's kind of paints Josh in a bad light.
00:33:37.039 --> 00:33:37.440
Absolutely.
00:33:38.160 --> 00:33:42.559
Guarantee you he inadvertently killed someone or something.
00:33:44.079 --> 00:33:45.200
Like shit like that.
00:33:45.440 --> 00:33:46.960
Did I ever do that to you?
00:33:47.279 --> 00:33:50.559
Did he ever did Josh ever say to you, check you later?
00:33:50.720 --> 00:33:51.519
If he did.
00:33:52.000 --> 00:33:54.400
That's the worst thing he can imagine that he did.
00:33:54.720 --> 00:33:55.039
Right.
00:33:55.200 --> 00:34:00.319
In Josh's mind, it's gonna be like someone like comes on and be like, he called me the N-word.
00:34:03.519 --> 00:34:06.960
If Josh did that to you, you must call.
00:34:07.119 --> 00:34:10.159
I mean, I there are no ifs, ands, or buts.
00:34:11.440 --> 00:34:12.639
I have to know.
00:34:13.440 --> 00:34:14.639
All right, good app.
00:34:15.280 --> 00:34:16.079
Good stuff.
00:34:16.320 --> 00:34:16.960
Love you guys.
00:34:17.199 --> 00:34:18.079
Love boys.
00:34:22.239 --> 00:34:22.559
Okay.
00:00:00.479 --> 00:00:01.679
So, all right, we're doing it.
00:00:01.760 --> 00:00:04.080
This is the episode where we talk about the Holocaust.
00:00:04.240 --> 00:00:19.359
Um we've I think for all of our listeners out there, there's been like a a storm brewing that I'm sure some of our astute listeners will know has been steadily approaching.
00:00:19.679 --> 00:00:28.239
And this is the episode where I think the the rains begin to break and the and the skies begin to let loose.
00:00:28.399 --> 00:00:36.320
And because that's uh what happens when we talk about things like the Holocaust.
00:00:36.479 --> 00:00:50.960
Now, I do want to also say I, in an act of reclamation, and I don't know if you guys know this, but I did officially say, it was probably about two years ago now, that I was gonna exclusively refer to the Holocaust.
00:00:51.119 --> 00:00:53.600
I put that in quotes, not because it didn't happen, it did.
00:00:53.840 --> 00:00:55.679
Um, as the Holocaust.
00:00:55.920 --> 00:00:58.320
Okay, I was gonna say, I thought let me explain.
00:00:58.640 --> 00:00:59.520
So maybe I didn't do that.
00:00:59.679 --> 00:01:00.560
Maybe I didn't explain that too.
00:01:02.079 --> 00:01:02.399
I did.
00:01:02.560 --> 00:01:12.400
So about two or three years ago, I said uh as an act of reclamation, because of how much it traumatized me in my childhood, I was going to start referring to the Holocaust as the Holocaust.
00:01:12.480 --> 00:01:22.560
And so if with your permission, with your blessing, with the you know, with permission of the Secret Midnight Society, I'd like to call this the Holocaust episode.
00:01:22.640 --> 00:01:24.239
Is that is that okay?
00:01:25.200 --> 00:01:29.519
It would be great to open this episode because you said midnight.
00:01:29.599 --> 00:01:31.200
What's it called in Are You Afraid of the Dark?
00:01:31.359 --> 00:01:41.200
The Secret Midnight like that, like it's the opening of an Are You Afraid of the Dark, but they're all about to talk about the Holocaust for the spookiest episode.
00:01:42.719 --> 00:01:44.879
I mean, Holocaust is spooky.
00:01:45.040 --> 00:01:46.159
There's no question it's spooky.
00:01:46.400 --> 00:01:55.040
Damn, we could we we gotta remember we we gotta do a Holocaust part two on Halloween to Holly Holy Hall.
00:01:56.000 --> 00:01:58.480
You can do that, but yeah, Halloween, Holocaust, yeah.
00:01:58.560 --> 00:01:58.879
Yeah, yeah.
00:01:59.359 --> 00:01:59.920
No, no, no.
00:02:00.000 --> 00:02:01.359
But you basically did do it.
00:02:01.599 --> 00:02:06.560
Um, I wonder why there aren't more like Holocaust Halloween crossovers just in general.
00:02:06.959 --> 00:02:08.400
Like why what?
00:02:09.520 --> 00:02:15.039
Holocaust is the way I used to say it.
00:02:15.439 --> 00:02:19.199
No, you really emphasize the hollow, like holocaust, like hollow.
00:02:19.599 --> 00:02:25.280
Oh, you're talking still about the marriage of uh Halloween and then the Holocaust, right?
00:02:25.520 --> 00:02:26.800
Oh right.
00:02:27.439 --> 00:02:41.680
So my first real exposure to the Holocaust actually takes place before Adam I can't look at you, I can't look at you and get that feedback he's got.
00:02:42.719 --> 00:02:45.599
The middle change is very funny to me.
00:02:47.680 --> 00:02:49.120
The Holocaust thing?
00:02:49.280 --> 00:02:49.599
Yes.
00:02:49.759 --> 00:02:52.560
I don't know why I think that is that funny.
00:02:52.719 --> 00:02:53.280
Oh, really?
00:02:53.360 --> 00:02:54.240
I find it very funny.
00:02:54.400 --> 00:03:00.719
I kind of feel like kind of sounds like like the millennial like cutesy talk to me.
00:03:02.719 --> 00:03:06.400
That's still funny to use that for the Holocaust.
00:03:07.919 --> 00:03:11.039
If I have Adam's comedy blessing, no offense, John.
00:03:11.759 --> 00:03:14.879
Adam's comedy blessing means way more than a laugh.
00:03:15.039 --> 00:03:17.199
There's nothing sweeter in life.
00:03:17.599 --> 00:03:37.919
Uh so it it it really started at Schechter, and when I was in first grade is when they start doing like so uh once you're in like lower school, they start doing like programming that's like adjacent to it on Holocaust Remembrance Day.
00:03:38.240 --> 00:03:50.719
So that was like at first, second grade, you're talking like about it, and I don't know if you guys had these Sadorum at in in the the chapel when you guys would go.
00:03:50.800 --> 00:03:55.199
Like, did you guys have chapel services at BT when you were in first grade?
00:03:55.919 --> 00:03:56.479
Or second grade.
00:03:56.719 --> 00:03:59.120
No, I think we would die in the classroom.
00:03:59.360 --> 00:04:01.520
Yeah, but but you had sidors, right?
00:04:01.759 --> 00:04:04.319
Yeah, you had yeah, because we had a C DOR program.
00:04:04.800 --> 00:04:05.039
Yeah.
00:04:05.919 --> 00:04:09.120
We gifted our C Dors so everyone on Sidor.
00:04:09.759 --> 00:04:10.240
Cool.
00:04:10.479 --> 00:04:15.199
Let me see if I can find that this will be a great prop.
00:04:15.439 --> 00:04:19.600
If I can find an online copy of the Sidor.
00:04:20.000 --> 00:04:24.240
Um what do we have to do for the C-DOR program while Jake's looking this up?
00:04:24.959 --> 00:04:27.920
I mean, I remember us being like on stage and singing.
00:04:28.000 --> 00:04:30.079
I mean, that was prime dun dun.
00:04:30.319 --> 00:04:31.360
That was you're right.
00:04:31.439 --> 00:04:36.079
That was like kind of when we first were initiated into the piano chord.
00:04:36.720 --> 00:04:38.240
But then how did Jake know about?
00:04:38.639 --> 00:04:43.439
Like Jake knew exactly what I was talking about, but they don't do that to us in high school, do they?
00:04:43.600 --> 00:04:45.759
Do they do not dumb in high school?
00:04:46.240 --> 00:04:47.920
Do they do what to you in high school?
00:04:48.639 --> 00:04:49.199
Dun done.
00:04:49.439 --> 00:04:50.000
The two chords.
00:04:50.319 --> 00:04:50.720
The two pianos.
00:04:50.959 --> 00:04:51.920
Oh, dun, dun, because Mrs.
00:04:52.000 --> 00:04:52.959
Latterman, she Ms.
00:04:53.120 --> 00:04:54.720
Letterman didn't teach at BT also?
00:04:55.439 --> 00:04:57.839
Oh, she did you guys had it at Schechter?
00:04:58.399 --> 00:04:58.800
Yes.
00:04:58.959 --> 00:05:01.839
Oh, oh Dum Dumb is whoa.
00:05:02.079 --> 00:05:03.680
The dumb dumb is Scheckter, baby.
00:05:04.000 --> 00:05:05.680
Well, no, it's BT too.
00:05:05.839 --> 00:05:08.480
I I I I I know I'm saying it was a Schechter day.
00:05:08.720 --> 00:05:09.519
It was cross.
00:05:09.600 --> 00:05:10.319
Oh my god.
00:05:10.480 --> 00:05:12.480
I think it's cross Jewish day schools.
00:05:12.720 --> 00:05:13.279
So if Mrs.
00:05:13.360 --> 00:05:18.160
Letterman didn't also teach at BT, who definitely taught at BT and Schechter was Mr.
00:05:18.319 --> 00:05:18.720
Cohen.
00:05:18.959 --> 00:05:19.839
Yes, yes.
00:05:20.000 --> 00:05:20.480
So Mr.
00:05:20.639 --> 00:05:22.480
Cohen could have been the bridge.
00:05:22.639 --> 00:05:23.600
It's not impossible.
00:05:23.839 --> 00:05:24.399
Oh, Mr.
00:05:24.560 --> 00:05:25.040
Cohen.
00:05:55.279 --> 00:05:58.879
Black Wednesday, November third, nineteen forty-three.
00:05:59.120 --> 00:06:06.319
For three days, three hundred prisoners working in two shifts had been made to dig three ditches, two yards deep and about a thousand yards long.
00:06:06.560 --> 00:06:19.439
Approximately one hundred SS men were then lined up in two rows to form a gauntlet, and groups of a hundred Jews at a time were made to undress, run the gauntlet to the L-shaped barracks, and from there to the ditches, men and women separately.
00:06:19.680 --> 00:06:23.439
SS men drove them into the ditches with rifle butts, forcing them to lie flat.
00:06:23.600 --> 00:06:27.199
Other SS men standing above them raked them with automatic rifle fire.
00:06:27.360 --> 00:06:31.040
The next groups were forced to lie down on top of the corpses of the previous ones.
00:06:31.199 --> 00:06:33.279
The killing went on for two days from 6 a.m.
00:06:33.439 --> 00:06:36.560
to 5 p.m., with SS men relieved at two hour intervals.
00:06:36.720 --> 00:06:45.600
During this process, two trucks were drawn up, up drawn up, blaring gay ballads, marches, songs, and dance tunes through a loudspeaker to drown out the victims screaming.
00:06:45.759 --> 00:06:48.240
18,000 people were killed in two days.
00:06:48.560 --> 00:06:55.040
Okay, so that was uh my first exposure really to the Holocaust.
00:06:55.199 --> 00:06:58.319
Um that how old was I?
00:06:58.480 --> 00:07:10.720
I was I was in second grade because I remember um because we because these were the Sidors, and I I found a PDF of the full Sidor, Sidor Sim Shalom, can't forget that.
00:07:11.199 --> 00:07:12.800
Oh, I think those were the ones we had.
00:07:13.040 --> 00:07:19.040
Okay, so in the back of the sitter, there was an entire section on Yom Hashawa, and it was filled.
00:07:19.199 --> 00:07:22.160
I mean, that was one of the lighter stories, okay?
00:07:22.560 --> 00:07:34.560
And my little morbid brain in second grade sat in uh you know chapel reading these stories and not understanding what the fuck this was.
00:07:35.040 --> 00:07:36.639
So this was my first exposure.
00:07:36.959 --> 00:07:38.399
And I still think about these stories.
00:07:38.959 --> 00:07:44.240
Were you was reading that prompted by a teacher, or were you kind of just exploring?
00:07:44.480 --> 00:07:46.639
Okay, so that was just there and you went rogue.
00:07:47.040 --> 00:07:47.759
They're waiting for rogue.
00:07:48.800 --> 00:07:55.680
Um, my first question, I guess, to the school was like, why would you give these Sadours to the children?
00:07:55.839 --> 00:08:01.040
Like, do you expect that they're not going to like open it to a different page?
00:08:01.199 --> 00:08:02.319
Is the expectation now?
00:08:02.399 --> 00:08:03.600
I was a pretty voracious reader.
00:08:03.759 --> 00:08:05.040
Like I was a very early reader.
00:08:05.120 --> 00:08:08.000
I was in my own reading class because I was a very advanced reader.
00:08:08.240 --> 00:08:11.839
So, I mean, what did you do with that information in second grade?
00:08:12.319 --> 00:08:14.560
So I like didn't I didn't do anything with it.
00:08:14.639 --> 00:08:25.439
I just every Monday and Thursday morning when we had chapel, my morbid little fucking brain would open the sitter and you would read that and go right back to those pages.
00:08:25.680 --> 00:08:30.720
Oh, yeah, no, I I completely perseverated over it because I was just like, that makes sense.
00:08:30.879 --> 00:08:37.519
I mean, that when you're that age, you you kinda like the things that really frighten you, you kind of want to keep checking and on that.
00:08:37.759 --> 00:08:37.840
Right.
00:08:37.919 --> 00:08:38.639
I have to process it.
00:08:38.720 --> 00:08:47.039
I'm just like, I don't know what this is, but maybe if I keep reading, uh, you know, maybe uh 18,000 people were killed in two days will at some point make sense to me.
00:08:47.440 --> 00:08:50.399
So I I I like, yeah, I mean I held on to it.
00:08:50.559 --> 00:08:53.039
Then in like anybody about it?
00:08:53.279 --> 00:08:53.519
No.
00:08:54.320 --> 00:08:55.919
You just kept that all to yourself.
00:08:56.159 --> 00:08:56.639
I did.
00:08:56.879 --> 00:08:59.200
And I had a lot of nightmares about the Holocaust as a kid.
00:08:59.519 --> 00:09:05.679
All I read, I mean, if I haven't talked about this on the show, the only books, this is not an exaggeration.
00:09:06.080 --> 00:09:10.480
Nowadays, I can only read Holocaust books.
00:09:10.559 --> 00:09:12.720
In that sense, it is kind of a weird incel thing.
00:09:12.799 --> 00:09:16.080
It's like I can only get hard from reading Holocaust books.
00:09:16.320 --> 00:09:22.080
I cannot fucking I try to read anything else, and I'm like, I need another Holocaust book.
00:09:22.320 --> 00:09:25.919
I mean you're metaphorically still looking at the back of that book.
00:09:26.159 --> 00:09:26.960
What'd you say?
00:09:27.279 --> 00:09:30.559
You're still looking at the back of the book in you know, in some ways.
00:09:30.720 --> 00:09:31.120
You're still.
00:09:31.759 --> 00:09:34.240
I am constantly looking in the back of the seam show album.
00:09:34.559 --> 00:09:34.639
Yeah.
00:09:34.799 --> 00:09:44.960
It I thought it was in the rear view, but I am read and now I read this stuff and I'm like, please, 18,000 people in two days, I'll I'll see that and raise you, you know, 100,000 people in a week.
00:09:45.120 --> 00:09:53.279
So it's it it totally fucked with my with my sense of like what what makes me feel anything when I read.
00:09:53.600 --> 00:10:00.399
And they do you think they had taught you about the Holocaust like before you read that, or did you have like no concept of it?
00:10:00.559 --> 00:10:00.799
Nothing.
00:10:01.039 --> 00:10:01.759
Zero, zero.
00:10:01.919 --> 00:10:08.399
Because I vividly remember the first time really like doing Yom Ha Shoa programming was in like third, fourth grade.
00:10:08.720 --> 00:10:11.039
Because I remember the hallway where it happened.
00:10:12.240 --> 00:10:12.799
Say again.
00:10:13.039 --> 00:10:14.159
You must have pissed your pants.
00:10:14.320 --> 00:10:15.120
I didn't piss my pants.
00:10:15.200 --> 00:10:15.840
I'll tell you what I did.
00:10:15.919 --> 00:10:19.200
I had I had awful, awful somatic stomach aches.
00:10:19.279 --> 00:10:20.559
So I lived at Scheckter.
00:10:20.799 --> 00:10:27.919
I basically got maybe I feel bad for my parents because I probably got about 50% of the tuition dollars that they spent on actual education.
00:10:28.080 --> 00:10:33.919
The other 50% should have just gone right to Iris Engber, the nurse at who's Michael Engber's mom, who we had on the theater episode.
00:10:34.159 --> 00:10:44.399
So I I Iris and I had an amazing relationship because I lived in her office for about half of the school year because I was constantly having these awful, awful stomach aches.
00:10:44.559 --> 00:10:53.039
So on Yoma Show a day, I mean, that was like it it really did feel like I was in the Holocaust because I'm sorry, the Holocaust.
00:10:53.360 --> 00:10:57.519
Because I would go in and it was like right out of the gate.
00:10:57.600 --> 00:11:00.799
It's like, okay, we're gonna sit and watch this movie, or this person's gonna come in.
00:11:00.960 --> 00:11:03.440
This is back when survivors were like a dime a dozen.
00:11:03.600 --> 00:11:11.519
So they're coming in, they're telling you stories about the, you know, the gas chambers, and uh, and I'm like, I can't, uh like this is this is too much.
00:11:11.600 --> 00:11:12.000
It's too.
00:11:12.240 --> 00:11:14.000
I can deal with the stories in the back of the book.
00:11:14.080 --> 00:11:19.120
I can't deal with like I can't deal with uh um Devil's Arithmetic.
00:11:19.200 --> 00:11:22.240
That was the first movie that they showed us with Kirsten Dunst.
00:11:22.559 --> 00:11:25.120
Um, and I What's that one?
00:11:25.279 --> 00:11:26.559
Like, I don't know that one.
00:11:26.720 --> 00:11:40.960
So Devil's Arithmetic is about Kirsten Dunst is at a Seder, and at the Seder, I mean, not to spoil it, she doesn't actually go back to the Holocaust, but she like passes out and wakes up and she's in the Holocaust.
00:11:41.200 --> 00:11:43.600
And she's a wizard of Oz.
00:11:43.759 --> 00:11:45.679
It's a Wizard of Oz for the Holocaust.
00:11:45.840 --> 00:11:54.399
And so she's in the Holocaust, and at the end, you're like, oh my God, she's gonna go to the gas chambers, and then she wakes up at the Seder and it's like, oh, what a spooky dream.
00:11:54.559 --> 00:11:59.120
So in third, fourth grade, I really started to have to like come face to face with it.
00:11:59.279 --> 00:12:03.279
And so then in like fifth, sixth, and seventh grade, I would just be sick from school.
00:12:03.440 --> 00:12:08.799
I I I mean, if if if my parents kept track of the Jewish calendar, it was like clockwork.
00:12:08.879 --> 00:12:17.200
I would just had I was throwing up, I had a fever, whatever, whatever I needed to do, uh, you know, shove fingers down my throat to not go to school on Yom Ha Show a day.
00:12:17.440 --> 00:12:22.240
Okay, so anytime you knew a Holocaust day was coming, you acted sick.
00:12:22.399 --> 00:12:22.639
Yes.
00:12:22.879 --> 00:12:25.039
Are you really shoving your fingers down your throat too?
00:12:25.279 --> 00:12:27.200
I I've never once made myself throw up.
00:12:27.279 --> 00:12:30.639
And famously, I hate, like I am actually kind of afraid of throwing up.
00:12:30.720 --> 00:12:32.080
So I haven't thrown up since college.
00:12:32.240 --> 00:12:34.320
I threw up one time in college, I had a stomach bug.
00:12:34.399 --> 00:12:36.320
So no, I've never made myself throw up ever.
00:12:36.480 --> 00:12:39.919
So in eighth grade, you go to the Holocaust Museum.
00:12:40.000 --> 00:12:41.759
You go to the Holocaust Museum in DC.
00:12:42.399 --> 00:12:47.360
That was like an incredibly uh hard day for me.
00:12:47.519 --> 00:12:53.200
So my mom was a chaperone on the trip because she knew how unbelievably afraid I was of doing this.
00:12:53.440 --> 00:13:02.720
Um, there was there was like a teacher, Maura Plout, who I loved, who also, I think by that point, like I had confided in her at school.
00:13:02.799 --> 00:13:06.720
Like, hey, my God, just say you don't have to go.
00:13:07.360 --> 00:13:08.799
No, I I wanted to go.
00:13:09.600 --> 00:13:10.320
No, I didn't want to go.
00:13:10.399 --> 00:13:10.960
I didn't want to go.
00:13:11.039 --> 00:13:19.039
I'm sure it was compulsory, and I'm sure that my mom and Maura Plout together were like, we will be with you the whole time, and like obviously we will like cover your eyes for stuff.
00:13:19.279 --> 00:13:24.639
I mean, anytime you talk about your past life, I'm like, we met at the right time.
00:13:24.879 --> 00:13:26.320
We met at just the right time, Josh.
00:13:26.799 --> 00:13:31.840
Because I promise you, you would have been the villain in a lot of my stories if we had met any earlier.
00:13:32.240 --> 00:13:38.000
I just don't think we would have been friends, but I dude not only we would not have been friends, you would have been dunking on my sweet ass.
00:13:38.240 --> 00:13:39.919
I was never mean to anybody.
00:13:40.080 --> 00:13:40.879
I really wasn't.
00:13:41.039 --> 00:13:42.240
Josh is a nice boy.
00:13:42.320 --> 00:13:42.559
Yeah.
00:13:42.799 --> 00:13:47.360
I I bet you you were mean to people, but not in a way that was mean.
00:13:47.519 --> 00:14:00.320
I bet you that people I'm sure that there were people that were not as popular as you that you spoke to them in a way that they would have taken it as, oh, this guy's popular and he knows it, but you did not mean it as I'm popular and I know it.
00:14:00.559 --> 00:14:06.559
Oh, kind of like um like it's just kind of enough to be like, hey buddy, how you doing, and then keep walking.
00:14:06.879 --> 00:14:07.440
Yeah, dude.
00:14:07.519 --> 00:14:09.200
I guarantee you did that all the fucking time.
00:14:09.279 --> 00:14:10.639
Yeah, I'm so I'm sure you're right.
00:14:10.879 --> 00:14:13.840
I mean that's not necessarily like mean.
00:14:14.080 --> 00:14:14.559
It's not mean.
00:14:14.639 --> 00:14:15.039
That's what I'm saying.
00:14:15.120 --> 00:14:16.000
It's not you're not being mean.
00:14:17.039 --> 00:14:18.879
People might be could be resentful towards people.
00:14:19.279 --> 00:14:23.440
People would, I'm sure that there were people around that were like a little bit fuck Josh Miller.
00:14:23.759 --> 00:14:25.200
Like, I I'm sure that there were people.
00:14:25.440 --> 00:14:30.159
Oh, I'm sure, but um, but there were few and far between them and we hate them and we hope that they died.
00:14:30.399 --> 00:14:37.360
So for me, a big turning point as far as uh like social well wait, which story am I telling?
00:14:37.440 --> 00:14:39.279
Do you mean what what?
00:14:39.679 --> 00:14:40.960
Oh, you're pushing back on this?
00:14:41.279 --> 00:14:43.279
You couldn't even let that narrative persist.
00:14:43.519 --> 00:14:46.960
You couldn't even let that narrative persist for for five seconds.
00:14:51.360 --> 00:14:52.000
Wow.
00:14:52.320 --> 00:15:00.960
That is the I mean, if you wanted any more of a difference between you and me, it's like I would give you ten dollars if we could find a person in the class who liked me.
00:15:01.120 --> 00:15:08.559
And you and you think you don't think anybody in your class ever in the history of your time in schooling ever didn't like you?
00:15:08.879 --> 00:15:09.200
No.
00:15:09.600 --> 00:15:18.000
I truly think everyone I mean that is the most I know that is the most insane take I've ever heard.
00:15:18.320 --> 00:15:19.600
It is I mean that is boring.
00:15:19.840 --> 00:15:22.960
That is more we need to talk about, Kevin, than anything I have said.
00:15:23.440 --> 00:15:23.600
Okay.
00:15:24.080 --> 00:15:25.759
I don't think I don't I mean I won't be able to do that.
00:15:25.919 --> 00:15:29.600
You think you are thinking you are bad at 1,000 on likes?
00:15:32.320 --> 00:15:34.879
Yeah, I don't think anyone did not like me.
00:15:35.039 --> 00:15:39.039
I don't think I bet no one did not like Adam either.
00:15:39.279 --> 00:15:41.519
Like did not like him.
00:15:42.879 --> 00:15:44.240
Yeah, I think there probably were.
00:15:44.879 --> 00:15:47.039
Dude, like because you don't know.
00:15:47.120 --> 00:15:48.639
You don't know what other people are thinking.
00:15:48.799 --> 00:15:55.039
I it's I think it's just like in human nature, I just think that someone doesn't like anyone, right?
00:15:55.120 --> 00:15:56.799
Like, no, nobody is perfect.
00:15:57.120 --> 00:15:58.720
Essentially what you're saying is you think you were perfect.
00:16:00.720 --> 00:16:03.360
I just don't know if there's anyone in my class.
00:16:03.759 --> 00:16:17.200
Can I just say, just again, from just the way that I would imagine human development goes, I imagine you probably were actually were less likable back then because you were a kid and you're being a like you're being an obnoxious kid because every kid's being an obnoxious kid.
00:16:17.360 --> 00:16:25.679
Now you're like a fully grown adult who's very self-aware and very, you know, very charming, and and you're just like no kid is a hundred percent liked.
00:16:25.759 --> 00:16:26.639
It's just not possible.
00:16:26.960 --> 00:16:28.720
I'm he yeah, I I don't know how much.
00:16:28.960 --> 00:16:29.200
That's okay.
00:16:29.440 --> 00:16:31.120
This will keep Josh up at night for days.
00:16:31.519 --> 00:16:32.879
Wow, this is your Holocaust.
00:16:32.960 --> 00:16:34.559
We found your Holocaust.
00:16:34.879 --> 00:16:45.039
I think I I agree, Josh, that your I your reputation was like likable boy, like just like the friendly Yeah, just like everyone likes Josh.
00:16:45.600 --> 00:16:54.960
Yeah, but by saying that No, it's very unlike that someone resented you for people saying everyone likes Josh.
00:16:55.200 --> 00:16:55.919
Oh, yeah, dude.
00:16:56.080 --> 00:16:56.639
You think right?
00:16:57.120 --> 00:17:03.440
For that being the your reputation, there's gotta be some kind of figure out there who was resentful of that, some Jacobin figure.
00:17:04.000 --> 00:17:05.200
Huge target on your back, dude.
00:17:05.279 --> 00:17:06.960
You paint a huge target.
00:17:07.279 --> 00:17:08.480
Somebody, dude.
00:17:08.720 --> 00:17:09.839
And you know what, Josh?
00:17:10.000 --> 00:17:10.720
It's okay.
00:17:10.880 --> 00:17:16.240
Even if you were batting 995, you're still going to the Hall of Fame.
00:17:16.559 --> 00:17:18.720
I was gonna say you're still going to the Holocaust.
00:17:18.960 --> 00:17:20.319
And you're still going to the Holocaust.
00:17:21.440 --> 00:17:21.759
You know what?
00:17:21.839 --> 00:17:26.240
Whether you had one friend or a million friends, Hitler would have killed you the same.
00:17:26.559 --> 00:17:27.519
That's what I learned.
00:17:27.920 --> 00:17:29.039
That's comforting in a way.
00:17:29.279 --> 00:17:30.160
Isn't that comforting?
00:17:30.319 --> 00:17:33.279
We would have all been marched into the cattle cars together.
00:17:33.440 --> 00:17:36.400
We would have all been marched into the gas chambers together.
00:17:36.559 --> 00:17:38.000
All of our ashes would have intermingled.
00:17:38.160 --> 00:17:41.200
It's like your version of in the cup outside of my donic.
00:17:41.519 --> 00:17:47.599
When an astronaut goes into outer space and adds like a complete like re-evaluation of like human life.
00:17:47.839 --> 00:17:52.160
But instead of going to outer space, you're just constantly learning about the Holocaust.
00:17:53.039 --> 00:17:58.480
Yeah, Josh is going in that in that gas chamber just as much as I am.
00:18:04.640 --> 00:18:09.920
So, so in seventh, in seventh grade, or I'm sorry, in eighth grade, we have the Holocaust trip.
00:18:10.079 --> 00:18:12.480
So that was like a really big day for me.
00:18:12.640 --> 00:18:16.079
Um, in that I just like I really struggled.
00:18:16.240 --> 00:18:19.920
And there were there were like these video screens.
00:18:20.079 --> 00:18:28.240
And again, this just like speaks to the part of my brain that's like, I want to go to the last page of of the of Sid or Sim Shalom to read all these stories about kids being murdered.
00:18:28.400 --> 00:18:39.680
Uh, there were all these like video screens that had this like very ominous like police tape around them that were like, this is very bad.
00:18:39.920 --> 00:18:41.200
Like you have been warned.
00:18:42.160 --> 00:18:44.799
I dude, it was I serious, it was like a fucking crime scene.
00:18:44.880 --> 00:18:50.799
There was like all this like stuff around it being like, be very careful, like this is incredibly graphic footage.
00:18:51.039 --> 00:18:52.720
And that's the one thing you needed to see.
00:18:52.960 --> 00:19:01.599
No, but it was, but I think about it to this day because I've never looked at that footage, but I'm like, my brain was like one person who might not like me.
00:19:01.839 --> 00:19:02.079
Good.
00:19:02.240 --> 00:19:05.519
I I mean I knew that there was no fucking way too much.
00:19:09.200 --> 00:19:11.279
Right and Josh's personal holocaust.
00:19:11.920 --> 00:19:12.079
Yes.
00:19:12.240 --> 00:19:12.480
Let's go.
00:19:12.559 --> 00:19:13.440
What do you got, Josh?
00:19:13.759 --> 00:19:30.480
I I remember, but it was it wasn't a person in my class, so I don't know if this counts, but I uh I don't know who's who it was, but I remember I wrote an article for SMD, uh-huh, and I overheard someone reading and be like, eh, I'm not the biggest Josh fan.
00:19:32.079 --> 00:19:32.640
Wow.
00:19:33.200 --> 00:19:34.960
I mean that was very deep.
00:19:35.279 --> 00:19:37.599
Yeah, seriously, you really had to work for that one.
00:19:37.759 --> 00:19:42.079
But I like that in your narrative, like this person almost doesn't even exist.
00:19:42.400 --> 00:19:45.680
Well, I feel like it was it was a shadowy figure.
00:19:45.839 --> 00:19:46.960
I don't know if they were real.
00:19:47.039 --> 00:19:47.440
I don't know.
00:19:47.680 --> 00:19:48.400
I don't care at all.
00:19:48.559 --> 00:19:49.680
What are you guys talking about?
00:19:49.839 --> 00:19:50.720
I don't care.
00:19:52.559 --> 00:19:56.799
It's just so funny that like it's just so interesting how different we are.
00:19:56.960 --> 00:20:05.759
Because like I have spent my entire life being like, I have to work so hard to feel like anybody likes me.
00:20:06.079 --> 00:20:11.119
And you just had like a completely opposite experience.
00:20:11.279 --> 00:20:14.880
Like you are really struggling to try to think of one person that didn't.
00:20:15.440 --> 00:20:27.839
I mean, post-high school, I could name plenty of people, but um I mean what's funny to me is I think outwardly people would probably think we're pretty similar, and yet our backgrounds are so different.
00:20:28.160 --> 00:20:28.559
Yeah.
00:20:29.119 --> 00:20:35.839
So uh so yeah, so eighth grade really like cemented, I think, my deep-seated like relationship with it.
00:20:36.079 --> 00:20:51.359
And also in eighth grade, we had to read Mouse, which I famously in my own life uh started reading and got so afraid that I took uh in my uh upstairs in my parents' house, there's like a big attic that's like very, very long.
00:20:51.599 --> 00:20:58.400
And I took the books and I was like so afraid that I viscerally like threw them in the attic so that they would I would never have to see them again.
00:20:58.559 --> 00:21:01.519
And I wish I had to really two on the nose almost.
00:21:01.599 --> 00:21:05.039
It's like two mountain.
00:21:06.319 --> 00:21:08.880
Yeah, it's like no, like your story.
00:21:09.119 --> 00:21:11.680
It's off the oh oh, I mean, these all really happen, though.
00:21:11.759 --> 00:21:12.880
These all really happen, I promise.
00:21:13.119 --> 00:21:16.319
I mean it's but everything was going to lie and it's all bullshit, but no, no, no.
00:21:16.559 --> 00:21:22.720
That's the whole that's the funny part is I believe everything you say, but it's so it's so perfect, it's so on the nose.
00:21:23.039 --> 00:21:24.400
Your Jew knows.
00:21:25.119 --> 00:21:28.640
So, yeah, so so eighth grade was a very tough year for me.
00:21:28.720 --> 00:21:38.240
Then in high school, then at Bethlehem, so there was Yom Hashoa stuff, and all of it, as I'm sure you remember, was or many of them were led by Maura Glazer.
00:21:38.720 --> 00:21:43.200
She was like the big Yom Hashoa, you know.
00:21:44.480 --> 00:21:46.799
Yeah, I do have court marshal.
00:21:46.960 --> 00:21:49.440
I don't know what what would you call the person that runs the parade.
00:21:49.680 --> 00:21:52.319
She was the she was the Yom Hashoa parade marshal.
00:21:52.720 --> 00:21:59.440
And so I in high school, I as I started to like find my sense of humor, I started doing like little.
00:22:00.079 --> 00:22:11.839
Many stand-up routines about Mauraglazer doing Yomha Shoa stuff because in Moriglazer's class for Hebrew, we would have to read stories about Yosef the talking carrot and shlomo the talking dog.
00:22:12.079 --> 00:22:14.400
It was all like the most inane Hebrew bullshit.
00:22:14.559 --> 00:22:23.200
And so I would do impressions of Mauri Glazer reading from you know uh Shlomo the talking dog, but Shlomo the Talking Dog has to go to Treblinka.
00:22:23.279 --> 00:22:33.519
So I started to like reclaim obviously a lot of the a lot of the Holocaust stuff, the Holocaust stuff.
00:22:33.759 --> 00:22:37.279
Then of course, I'm sure we all know the other shoe has to drop.
00:22:37.359 --> 00:22:46.079
So if the first shoe is the eighth grade um uh Holocaust museum trip, then the other shoe, the big shoe, is the 12th grade Poland trip.
00:22:46.160 --> 00:22:50.559
That is really where it goes sideways in a lot of ways.
00:22:51.200 --> 00:22:54.079
So the good news like it's all been leading up to this.
00:22:54.319 --> 00:22:55.680
It's all been leading up to this, right?
00:22:55.920 --> 00:22:59.759
So so the beginning of 12th grade, I was basically sick every day.
00:22:59.920 --> 00:23:00.640
I mean, I really was.
00:23:00.720 --> 00:23:04.720
Like I was just like in anticipation of the end of the year going.
00:23:09.359 --> 00:23:17.440
So by the time 12th grade rolls around, I certainly the beginning of the year, I'm just like, you know, it's low level anxiety all the time.
00:23:17.680 --> 00:23:21.039
But by coming up to the trip, I was just like, am I gonna?
00:23:21.279 --> 00:23:22.160
I mean, I was gonna go.
00:23:22.319 --> 00:23:23.359
I obviously was gonna go.
00:23:23.440 --> 00:23:27.200
But all I could think about was what the fuck is gonna happen on this trip?
00:23:27.359 --> 00:23:29.359
What what what what is gonna happen?
00:23:29.599 --> 00:23:31.839
Now, what am I say again?
00:23:32.160 --> 00:23:33.200
Like, what are you gonna see?
00:23:33.359 --> 00:23:37.519
Is that like, is that was that the it's it was what am I gonna see?
00:23:37.599 --> 00:23:41.920
But it was more, it was also just like, I really think it was more like what am I gonna feel?
00:23:42.160 --> 00:23:50.880
Because I I knew by 12th grade, I mean, I was I'm a stupid person and I was sort of a really stupid kid, but I at least knew, okay, there won't be any Nazis here.
00:23:51.039 --> 00:23:56.880
Like, I did have the frame of mind to be like, no one's getting killed in a in a gas chamber on this trip.
00:23:57.200 --> 00:24:05.119
But as I would find out pretty quickly, one of the first things that they tell you when you go to so for okay, well, uh I'm I was gonna skip ahead for a second.
00:24:05.279 --> 00:24:08.160
The first place that you go to is is Auschwitz and Birkanal.
00:24:08.240 --> 00:24:13.119
Auschwitz doesn't look like anything, it just looks like uh like a bunch of buildings.
00:24:13.200 --> 00:24:17.839
Like there's not, there's no, they bring out the, you know, they've they've moved the Arbeit Machtfrei sign there.
00:24:17.920 --> 00:24:22.160
So okay, you see that, and you're just like low level, like, oh God, you know, what's gonna happen?
00:24:22.319 --> 00:24:24.880
Then you walk in, you're like, oh, this is these are just like office buildings.
00:24:24.960 --> 00:24:27.359
Like you're like, there's nothing holocausty about this.
00:24:27.519 --> 00:24:30.079
And most of Beer Canal is destroyed, like it's mostly been bombed.
00:24:30.160 --> 00:24:35.359
So you're walking around, like you see the train tracks, you see the building, but there's nothing like overtly holocausty about it.
00:24:35.440 --> 00:24:35.920
There really isn't.
00:24:36.000 --> 00:24:37.279
It's just like a bunch of buildings.
00:24:37.519 --> 00:24:45.440
So, my donic, however, the one of the first things they say when you get there, first of all, you're greeted by a big cup of ashes, which I think is really cool.
00:24:46.160 --> 00:24:47.920
Um, you're like, oh, this is awesome.
00:24:48.000 --> 00:24:49.519
These are all these dead fucking Jews now.
00:24:49.680 --> 00:24:51.200
Now I actually have to think about this.
00:24:51.359 --> 00:25:04.880
And it's this old, old, old as dirt Polish dude with a Fisher Price walkie-talkie who's speaking to it, you know, like like he's talking to the group in this Fisher Price, walkie-talkie thing.
00:25:05.039 --> 00:25:10.160
And one of the first things he says is, This camp could be operational in a week.
00:25:10.400 --> 00:25:16.720
That I'm like, oh uh that's that's gonna be a that's gonna be a no for me, dog.
00:25:16.880 --> 00:25:17.519
That's that's a threat.
00:25:17.680 --> 00:25:20.720
That's now we're at now we're at at threat level, you know, five.
00:25:20.960 --> 00:25:22.880
It's like a real weird brag.
00:25:23.200 --> 00:25:24.559
It's a real weird brag.
00:25:24.960 --> 00:25:25.039
Right.
00:25:25.759 --> 00:25:27.839
And I'm like, and I'm like, you know who shouldn't be saying this?
00:25:28.000 --> 00:25:28.799
The Polish guy.
00:25:28.960 --> 00:25:34.240
I'm like, I anyone else I'm okay with hearing this news from, I don't want to hear it from the guy where it happened.
00:25:34.319 --> 00:25:35.839
It it was it was pretty freaky.
00:25:36.000 --> 00:25:42.880
Now, the the good news is that I am dealing with like an incel B plot at the time, which was very helpful.
00:25:43.119 --> 00:25:47.200
So while this is happening, it's of course prom season.
00:25:47.440 --> 00:25:52.079
So I'm in the process of being rejected by multiple people to go to prom.
00:25:52.240 --> 00:25:54.319
There's a bunch of stories about that.
00:25:54.559 --> 00:26:02.880
Uh the first person I was supposed to go to prom with dumped me because I was in a I was in a relationship with the loosest, the loosest quotes that have ever existed.
00:26:03.359 --> 00:26:06.319
This was never been brought up a relationship.
00:26:06.480 --> 00:26:06.799
What?
00:26:07.039 --> 00:26:12.960
I wasn't, but that's why I'm putting it on the quotes are so loose that they fucked all the time.
00:26:13.680 --> 00:26:14.799
Fucked all the time.
00:26:15.519 --> 00:26:28.640
So then I was supposed to take a different girl to prom where and there's a whole long story about that, but I I didn't because her boyfriend, so she was dating somebody, and her boyfriend ended up taking her.
00:26:28.720 --> 00:26:30.640
Whatever, not not a good story.
00:26:30.880 --> 00:26:32.319
So I'm on three.
00:26:32.400 --> 00:26:38.480
I'm on like I'm on like strike three, and I'm like, if this doesn't go well, uh, like I'm just not I'm I'm gonna go to problem.
00:26:38.799 --> 00:26:40.079
My donic is operational in a week.
00:26:40.240 --> 00:26:41.599
My donic is operational in a week.
00:26:41.680 --> 00:26:59.200
If this doesn't go well, so this old uh Polish guy takes us into a very functional gas chamber with very functional um fingernail scratches in the walls and very functional like death.
00:27:00.000 --> 00:27:02.079
He like pretends to lock the door.
00:27:06.000 --> 00:27:10.319
He's like out the window being like that.
00:27:12.319 --> 00:27:24.160
So I definitely, definitely blame my incel behavior of what's about to follow on dissociating from the absolute horror of what I'm now standing in.
00:27:24.400 --> 00:27:27.440
I mean, this is this is the Cedar Seam Shalom come to life.
00:27:27.519 --> 00:27:29.119
Like I'm standing in it.
00:27:29.599 --> 00:27:34.559
And so I just my brain immediately goes to who am I asking to prom?
00:27:34.640 --> 00:27:37.599
Like, like, how do I get a prom date here?
00:27:38.079 --> 00:27:46.640
And so I slide over to Allison Salman, and Allison Salman is crying, as she should be.
00:27:46.799 --> 00:27:48.480
I mean, this is the worst place on earth.
00:27:48.720 --> 00:28:03.359
And I just immediately go into like my little incel bag of tricks of just like, I am now going to console and parlay this into a prom invitation.
00:28:03.599 --> 00:28:09.839
I put my arm around her and she like accepted a hug from me, and already I'm just like, oh my god, my wildest dreams are coming from.
00:28:10.400 --> 00:28:14.319
Like, like your my brain is just so unbelievably scrambled.
00:28:14.559 --> 00:28:16.480
But I'm like, you know, are you okay?
00:28:16.559 --> 00:28:20.880
And like I asked the usual therapy open-ended questions, you know, how are you feeling?
00:28:20.960 --> 00:28:22.559
You know, is there anything I can do to help?
00:28:22.799 --> 00:28:37.359
Just the usual, like, just unbelievably I was very picturing now, like, anytime you asked out a girl, you were like, oh, I need to hear like the Schindler's List music music in the background, or this, or I will not be able to do this.
00:28:37.599 --> 00:28:40.559
So, so I so I was very successful.
00:28:40.720 --> 00:28:54.079
Like, I I mean, I was very successful at accomplishing my task, which was to not think about the countless children that died in this room, and instead think about like I could be going to prom with Alice and Selman.
00:28:54.240 --> 00:29:04.000
So Allie and I like walked around the gas chamber and the crematorium and the kids' crematorium, and like I mean, I was basically just in two worlds.
00:29:04.079 --> 00:29:09.680
Like I was just like in the room with the baby, you know, crematorium uh cart.
00:29:10.000 --> 00:29:14.240
And I was also thinking about like, you know, what tucks am I renting?
00:29:14.319 --> 00:29:15.759
Because I'm going to prom, baby.
00:29:15.920 --> 00:29:19.440
And so I was like, you know, do you want to go to prom with me?
00:29:19.599 --> 00:29:21.519
And um, and she was like, no.
00:29:21.680 --> 00:29:23.200
And I was like, okay.
00:29:23.519 --> 00:29:28.079
And she ended up going with like a very popular Israeli guy.
00:29:28.160 --> 00:29:30.079
And I was just like, motherfucker.
00:29:30.160 --> 00:29:34.160
Like, I is just like it, it it just like really crushed me.
00:29:34.240 --> 00:29:47.119
And so Israel was not a super fun time for me because I think I started to like both then let in all of the realities of what I had just seen, and also realized, like, oh, like I know I will never be loved.
00:29:47.440 --> 00:29:48.400
So it was cool.
00:29:48.480 --> 00:29:54.720
And then and then and then the real kick in the dick was that we also had to go to Yad Vashem, the Holocaust Museum in Israel.
00:29:54.799 --> 00:29:58.400
So it was just like, why are we putting so many hats on hats here?
00:29:58.559 --> 00:30:01.279
Like, we we like we don't need to go to Yad Vashem.
00:30:01.440 --> 00:30:02.079
This is not necessary.
00:30:02.160 --> 00:30:06.799
And so then I had a whole anxious experience with that, and the rest of my Israel trip was not was not great.
00:30:06.960 --> 00:30:10.480
And so now all I can do is read about the Holocaust.
00:30:11.759 --> 00:30:16.319
So I guess for the next episode We have to have Hitler on.
00:30:16.480 --> 00:30:23.200
Um, no, we have to do is just have like 15 people on for my grade and just ask them if anyone didn't like me.
00:30:23.920 --> 00:30:29.599
I and and what also makes you super likable is that you're gonna say yes and then first of all, right.
00:30:29.680 --> 00:30:32.960
I mean, like I know the perfect ending to this episode.
00:30:33.200 --> 00:30:35.680
You were like, hey, this is Jake's Holocaust episode.
00:30:35.920 --> 00:30:40.000
Then you're like, from that, I should take, let's make sure I was really liked in high school.
00:30:41.759 --> 00:30:43.200
Okay, but we should do it.
00:30:43.279 --> 00:30:51.519
I that was where I was going with this, is we should do it because I do think it would be funny if we had everyone on and then one person in my SMD article.
00:30:52.000 --> 00:30:53.039
I that's what I'm saying.
00:30:53.119 --> 00:30:57.119
I think it would be funny if one of those people was the person that didn't like you at the time.
00:30:57.279 --> 00:30:58.480
I think that would be very funny.
00:30:59.039 --> 00:31:04.000
Well, if we set up Oh, did we set up did we set up our hotline?
00:31:04.400 --> 00:31:15.119
Because they could call anonymously and say because we could we could also solicit to if people, you know, if they're they didn't they didn't like you themselves, but they knew they heard someone, someone wants to say something bad about you.
00:31:16.480 --> 00:31:24.160
If someone fucking calls that hotline, oh my god, oh I pray to fucking Hashem.
00:31:24.640 --> 00:31:40.720
If you are listening, if this didn't get edited out by Josh, who could now be doing everything in his power to make himself be liked, but if if this doesn't get cut out, please if you're listening to this and you didn't like Josh in school, please call this hotline and anonymize your voice.
00:31:40.960 --> 00:31:46.160
Make it so that we don't know who it is, but please call and tell us that you did not like Josh.
00:31:46.240 --> 00:31:47.519
Just so that he can be taken down.
00:31:47.920 --> 00:31:52.400
Yeah, that actually that's like at the end of every episode, we need to remind people to uh God.
00:31:53.119 --> 00:31:54.559
Seriously, I'm serious.
00:31:54.720 --> 00:31:59.440
I really will I will not rest until until we find one person.
00:31:59.839 --> 00:32:02.480
This should be the new did you fuck in high school?
00:32:02.640 --> 00:32:05.440
Like, you know how that's yes, with the arc of season one.
00:32:05.759 --> 00:32:08.079
Oh wow, wow, that's totally right, Josh.
00:32:08.880 --> 00:32:09.680
You're totally right.
00:32:09.839 --> 00:32:11.440
This is the arc of season two.
00:32:14.240 --> 00:32:19.839
Okay, so the hot line is going to be a number that we would love if our listeners would call.
00:32:20.000 --> 00:32:26.160
And right now, the hot question that we pose to you is were you in Josh's grade?
00:32:26.559 --> 00:32:29.279
Uh, and did you like Josh?
00:32:29.599 --> 00:32:32.319
Or is there a part of you maybe that didn't like Josh?
00:32:32.480 --> 00:32:36.400
And we're really way more curious about the part of you that didn't like Josh.
00:32:36.640 --> 00:32:43.119
So if you or someone that you know did not like Josh in school, please give this number a call.
00:32:44.880 --> 00:32:49.839
908-280-1487.
00:32:50.720 --> 00:32:56.559
That's nine zero eight two eight zero one four eight seven.
00:32:58.160 --> 00:33:00.960
Did you also say if you heard of anyone who didn't like me?
00:33:01.119 --> 00:33:01.279
Yes.
00:33:01.839 --> 00:33:04.640
Is that you or you anyone knowing?
00:33:06.720 --> 00:33:10.720
Do you know that kid who was not a fan of that SMD?
00:33:10.880 --> 00:33:13.440
Yeah, I don't know if he wasn't a fan of the SMD article.
00:33:13.519 --> 00:33:15.519
He just wasn't a fan of me.
00:33:15.920 --> 00:33:17.519
So please call.
00:33:17.759 --> 00:33:19.279
I'm begging you to call.
00:33:19.599 --> 00:33:19.920
Yeah.
00:33:20.160 --> 00:33:20.559
Please.
00:33:20.720 --> 00:33:21.839
It's very important to us.
00:33:21.920 --> 00:33:24.720
I I it's really important to me because I really need to.
00:33:25.039 --> 00:33:26.720
Maybe you didn't like me just for a moment.
00:33:26.880 --> 00:33:30.720
You know, like maybe it wasn't necessarily like you didn't like me.
00:33:31.039 --> 00:33:36.000
Yeah, you could tell an anecdote anecdote where he's kind of paints Josh in a bad light.
00:33:37.039 --> 00:33:37.440
Absolutely.
00:33:38.160 --> 00:33:42.559
Guarantee you he inadvertently killed someone or something.
00:33:44.079 --> 00:33:45.200
Like shit like that.
00:33:45.440 --> 00:33:46.960
Did I ever do that to you?
00:33:47.279 --> 00:33:50.559
Did he ever did Josh ever say to you, check you later?
00:33:50.720 --> 00:33:51.519
If he did.
00:33:52.000 --> 00:33:54.400
That's the worst thing he can imagine that he did.
00:33:54.720 --> 00:33:55.039
Right.
00:33:55.200 --> 00:34:00.319
In Josh's mind, it's gonna be like someone like comes on and be like, he called me the N-word.
00:34:03.519 --> 00:34:06.960
If Josh did that to you, you must call.
00:34:07.119 --> 00:34:10.159
I mean, I there are no ifs, ands, or buts.
00:34:11.440 --> 00:34:12.639
I have to know.
00:34:13.440 --> 00:34:14.639
All right, good app.
00:34:15.280 --> 00:34:16.079
Good stuff.
00:34:16.320 --> 00:34:16.960
Love you guys.
00:34:17.199 --> 00:34:18.079
Love boys.
00:34:22.239 --> 00:34:22.559
Okay.
